#he’s almost a year and two months
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The horrors persist, but me? Not so much
#im petrified my chameleon is going to die#he’s ofc the breed that has the smallest amount of research on#and the oldest to ever be recorded is a year and a half#he’s almost a year and two months#im prepared mentally but not emotionally for his inevitable death#actually borderline#actually bpd#bpd#bpd feels#bpd thoughts#bpd problems#bpd stuff#bpd mood#bpd shit#bpd blog
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[ cw: death mention / sibling death mention / isolation / ]
Thinking about how Leo’s portal and teleportation powers have both directly (and in one instance, indirectly) been the cause of him being separated from his brothers at least four times now.
There’s that time in Portal Jacked, where his inexperience leads to his portal being messed with and his brothers ending up in Tahiti.
There’s the Bad Timeline, where Leo’s portaling led to them losing the Key, therefore indirectly leading to the apocalypse and in turn, ending with Leo being the last of his brothers alive (though just for a few minutes.)
There’s him teleporting him and Krang into the Prison Dimension, cutting him off from his family so wholly that the only way to fix this was a literal mystic miracle.
Then there’s the comic, where Leo’s powers act up again and make him lose months of time completely isolated from everyone and everything he knows.
Just, looking at all of this, it’s like the universe gave him the powers of distance on purpose to test him (and his bros), literally seeing if they can overcome unimaginable space and still make it back together. Imagine if it doesn’t stop here, and Leo has to learn to either deal with the occasional complete isolation or deal with time travelers coming back to stop some terrible event his powers (whether directly or indirectly) have caused, events that always lead to separation in some way, shape, or form.
It’s worth noting, too, that his portals often led to accidental separation, but his teleportation was the one power of his that was used to isolate himself on purpose…and was also the one that in any other scenario would have been the most permanent.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#rise comic spoilers#tmnt 40th anniversary#adding those last two just in case even though it’s been months lol#anyway hiiii I still think about Leo all the time and the Implications of his abilities#I truly do think their powers matter sooooo much to their characters frfr#and it’s very very interesting to me that Leo’s whole lineup has everything to do with space and distance#and he himself is constantly forced away from his family#no but imagine this happening all the time - like…his abilities almost PURPOSEFULLY causing his separation in some way#maybe as a test? to test his and his family’s bonds? their bonds are what ultimately power them after all#Leo in particular has lacking faith in himself and his powers despite his confidence in other areas#and I wonder if that comes through in his abilities#I love Leo getting better and better at his powers but the innate self isolating/self destructing nature of them never leaves#Leo: no I don’t wanna be vulnerable#His Powers: no? but what if *this*#Leo: w h y#Leo: actually what if I do it MYSELF *teleports himself into the Prison Dimension*#His Powers: 👍#Mikey: 👎 ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ NO????#leos over the years isolating themselves for training and/or self punishment indirectly leading to rise leo being cursed#(also I’m still gone haha this just hit by brain and I’m too tired to not write it out lmao)
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The Good Citizen
An AU where Izuku is just an ordinary boy. He never meets All Might and has his application for Yuuei's entrance exam rejected because of his quirkless status. He still wants to be a hero, but then again, he's just a normal kid with a mom who works two jobs, and since he failed to get into his dream school, he still has to get into another one, he doesn't have time. to go to the gym or learn to fight, or whatever. And yet, he wants to be a hero, so he grabs a pair of old skates and a stick. And he sneaks out the window at night, intending to be a vigilante.
But like a normal boy, he's a bit of a coward, so when he encounters his first crime, instead of getting involved, he calls the police. He calls the police and hides and is delighted when a police car arrives a few minutes later and does its job. And then he repeats that, goes out, finds a crime and calls the police. And repeat. And the next time, he identifies himself as "Good Citizen" when the person on the line recognizes his voice. And the name sticks. And Izuku keeps it, thinking of it as a way to keep his identity safe. But one day, 'The Good Citizen' calls the police on a group of men beating up a guy. And next he stops a man from harassing a girl.
The mens who beat the guy are part of a powerfull gang and their high-rankers discovers that the person who reported them was the same person who has been making several reports. The old man who harassed the girl was an important member of the HPSC, whose arrest creates a huge scandal
With this he successfully angers the villains and the HPSC all at once. Next week there's a bounty on 'snitch's head. And an arrest warrant for the vigilante who is 'an enemy in the making for the society of heroes'.
Then a race begins, villains and heroes mobilizing to kill/arrest one (1) well-intentioned green bean.
And, out of nowhere, this all becomes Aizawa Fucking Shota's problem.
#izuku: gotta arrest the bad guys hpsc: nuh uh zuku:tf you mean nuh uh#aizawa is not paid for it but whats new#let's pretend that tracking phone numbers isn't an thing#ok#pretend dude#(i forgot that it was a thing lol)#I used to love those fics where Izuku learned to fight and program very quickly and became a badass vigilante#Now I study programming and I feel offended by these fanfics#aint no way this kid learned all this in two months alone#I've been at this for almost a year. in a school. with a teacher. I still don't know shit#no illogical and magical hacking in this house (I'm sad he's smarter than me)#he can learn later. correctly. with a teacher. like me#im mad u can notice?#izuku midoriya#aizawa shouta#dadzawa#vigilante midoriya izuku#quirkless au#quirkless midoriya izuku#i love quirkless au. like why can he be just normal for once?#i know hes green and normal is not a thing for people whos green but guys#guys#hear me out#normal people are nice ok#im nice#(im not lol)#if anyone writes this tag me so I can tag my friend moon. She's begging (literally)#She gets mad at me for not writing my own ideas lmaaaaao#boku no hero academia#my hero academia
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666 days of lovin' the big fat red guy !!!
#it's almost been 2 years 🥰🥰#btw i freaking hate (love) these two omg#making me stay up late even though it's my own decision 😾#btw he loves doing silly poses with his partner and dressing all in his getup for them <3#guhbgh no one probably reads or cares about my ramblings in the tags but whatevs 😔#teehee :3#spooky month#bob velseb#spooky month fanart#self insert x canon#self ship#my art
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okay but the parallel between hardison using eliot as an example of redemption to harry in the panamanian monkey job and eliot saying he could never be redeemed (and he’s made peace with that) to sophie in the finale
#something something everyone can see how eliot has been redeemed but eliot. eliot will never believe it#something something hardison looks at the man who has stood beside him and protected him for over a decade and seeing him as redeemed#hardison watching him risk his life day after day after day month after month year after year#and knowing in his heart that this is what they stand for. this is what they strive for. to do better. to be better#and to hardison? eliot is the epitome of that#it breaks his heart that eliot can’t see that#parker wants to shake him he’s being stupid ‘ELIOT CANT YOU SEE’ ‘YOU ARE GOOD’#hardison as he joins in shaking eliot: ‘YOU ARE A GOOD MAN PLS BELIEVE US WE ARE RIGHT UR WRONG’#insert me with the always sunny conspiracy corkboard with red string connecting these two plot elements#i’ve connected the dots#i’ve connected them#I am Not posting this at peak time or anything I just had this thought just now and almost lost it#leverage redemption#leverage ot3#meta#parker x hardison x eliot#eliot spencer meta#eliot spencer#leverage#parallels#the panamanian monkey job#the crowning achievement job#leverage redemption s2#leverage redemption s1#leverage redemption 2.13#leverage redemption 1.02#mine#people pls like this show me I’m not going crazy
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doctober day 28: metallic
local old man doesnt "get" the youths, pt 1/??
#back to the future#bttf#doctober#doctober 2023#marty mcfly#doc brown#emmett brown#christopher lloyd#michael j fox#my arts#my sketchy wip arts#im not saying marty definitely had braces... but im saying marty definitely had braces#basing it all on that scene in bttf3 where bufords gang randomly talks about martys teeth. thats my proof !!!#plus apparently average amt of time to have them is like a year so like its POSSIBLE. (i had them for like 3+ years so go off i guess 😒)#anyway this isnt late B) but it almost is bc i was still debating TODAY what to even do >_>;#but here we are so yeah <3#the generational difference of 'polite/goody two shoes' vs 'degenerate/badass' being seen as good and bad things respectively#docs thoughts: hooligan bad!! respectable citizen good :) -> martys thoughts: im not a nerd PLEASE GOD IM COOL I SWEAR#ps tell me marty WOULDNT ask the local disgraced scientist hes known for like 3 months to do literal surgery on him. theyre ride or die PLS#< for all the trans!marty truthers that also applies to u. i think we can all agree hes not above just straight up asking. king
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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally
#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months#to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them#in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought#i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are#and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it#its worth missing i think#i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over#(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think#i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat#they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand#how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much#i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around#something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode#arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully#last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing#and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets#and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably#have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused#blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like#i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much#my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to#music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads#i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says#what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.
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I miss playing cowboys and trains with my friend on RDO :((
#rdo#we played almost every week for about 4 years (started during the first pandemic lockdowns)#and then a few months ago he got busy with having a relationship and junk and now it's been over two months since we've played 😭#i have so few touchstones with people and I hadn't realized how integral that one had become to my life until it stopped happening#i miss my friend i miss our horsey cowboy times#i miss running around the map until we found a train and then hopping on that and enjoying the scenery#occasionally lassoing npcs and dragging them along behind said train#life of faye#i dunno man I'm just extra lonely#but i don't want to make that his problem#for weeks and weeks i would ask if he had time to play any time soon and he kept having other things going on#so i got embarrassed about asking because it feels so obvious that I'm just pathetic and don't have a life#and i don't want to just be an obligation if someone doesn't have the time or inclination to do friend stuff with me any more
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Y'know, puttering around with my recordings, I think I really am going to give Davrin's romance with Ver a pretty serious twisting around. Rewrite some things a bit, change things around, keep most of the "slow burn" of it intact- but also add in the "friends with benefits" elements that I feel match what he says in the check-in scene after the point of no return better.
I think I have a post from like, months before release, when all we knew about the character was "charming Warden (who may or may not have been the Storm Coast team's commander in '41)", about how I sort of expected his to be the romance that starts off more casual (with the expiration date all Wardens have, it's not surprising that someone who's been one for at least ten years would be hesitant to enter any genuine emotional entanglements, platonic or romantic), and then for him to find himself falling for Rook unexpectedly (and kind of against his will) anyway.
And from some of that late dialogue, I still think that that may have been the exact intention, initially, but maybe they didn't want to create too big a disparity between the different romance paths, or like they didn't want for it to come off like they weren't taking him as seriously as the rest, so the path sort of ended up getting a bit... I don't wanna say "subdued", but I can't think of a better word lol. Brought to match the pacing of the others and the overall story more, that's more like what I mean.
.... Anyway, I kinda think I wanna have them sleep together for the first time either after his personal quest (no more distractions, clearly established romantic interest in- and some commitment to one another, but with still an opportunity to angst about everything else) or preferably, that night after drinking with Lucanis.
I'm leaning towards the latter thought, specifically because it'd be clearly a very, very bad idea.
It'd be far too fast, far too early, I got that scene like right after the Cauldron, so deep in the thick of his personal quest- plus, the mutual interest was barely expressed like one day prior to it, and there was alcohol involved. Which all kind of makes it perfect, because it's an awful time to toss that complication in there.
But, it gives me an opportunity to have the both of them keep thinking that it being just a casual, physical thing is what the other wants (despite the "well, I could see us heading somewhere, someday" of it), and to have their feelings developing sort of in the background of it-- and then!!!!! that forest kiss can also take a role more like another complicating factor, with the "heart of a halla" line being a bit more ambiguous.
Like, casually kissing your booty call/situationship/FWB you've been secretly falling for, it's a bit more touchy-feely than the previously established [they were not established] guidelines [there are no guidelines] suggest is appropriate [none of this is appropriate], but it feels right, and that alone makes it feel weird and confusing, ykwim?
But, then the whole "Most of my life, I've gone it alone. With you... I never want to go back." thing makes more sense being where it is, after his personal quest, to me at least. Because that sounds like a confession, and with being free from worries and the griffons safe (with Eldrin, in that game), there's a great time to have a long-ish, actually serious conversation about what this is and where it's going.
.... That would also mean that some of the bed scene dialogue doesn't make as much sense ("Is this all just for show"? "Just like I imagined"? Girl you know exactly if it's for show and what his hands feel like, you've been getting dicked down semi-regularly for weeks), but I can work with some tweaks to that lol. The final parts of it, about planning the future and getting soppy still make perfect sense, it's just those lines in the leadup that need some minor tweaking.
Idk, I really liked the in-game experience I had, and I love me a good slow burn, but I can't deny that it's more my style when "slow burn" doesn't also mean ".... so sex is a thing that happens only at the very end, when all feelings are resolved". I like it adding more uncertainty and confusion into the mix, and giving a sort of "oh, this is different now" feel to that first time once the feelings are also resolved.
(The date though, I wanna keep where and how it is exactly, because he mentions he got the tip for the picnic from Evka and Antoine, and I find it really cute to imagine him just sort of looking at them after speaking with Valya like.... "... they probably have the right idea of it, don't they. While we're here, let... let me just go ask. How to, uh. Do this whole. Romance thing, I guess. Make it sound, idk, casual. And chill. We're... chill." Never mind that Evka and Antoine are literally one of the most romantic couples any of them know, but yknow, nbd.)
(And then it goes all the way sideways? Love it. Love the "hey so this tea I thought would be a fun, cute thing for us to try made her trip absolute balls for a while, so maybe this outing is not a great opportunity to like, talk. Seriously. About how I may or may not be falling a little bit in love with her. And by 'little bit', I mean 'up to the very tips of my ears'. Nbd, just gonna... postpone, spilling my guts out for her perusal, I guess." of it all. A+, no notes.)
#squirrel plays datv#datv spoilers#davrin#oc: verbena mercar#i'll need to replay her with this all in mind#gonna lowkey remark that he did well asking Evka and Antoine because the other long-term romantic couple they know is Dorian and Ray#which is. uh.#well i “established” to myself months before release that despite living together; Ray still writes Dorian love letters#and then the game went and confirmed for me that it's the same the other way around; with almost my exact words that I used; so uh.#yeah. those two are probably a bit too intense; for what Ver and Davrin are going for-slash-through#asking my Inquisitor in particular for romantic advice would be a bit of a disaster#not because he doesn't do romance; he just does it TOO well#and with a person he's been with for a decade; so; yknow. it's a lot#asking the man who'll unflinchingly sign his letters to his “husband” of ten years with “ever yours in joyous wonder” for love advice is...#well you gotta take that with like a pound of salt; don't you#(also a bit salty that there's no repeatable kiss scene or a lot of touching now; but i get it)#(it's probably because Rook can be so many different heights and builds which makes animating touches far more difficult)#(but even as someone who loves that customizability; it's a bit... well; a bummer; ngl)#(like the flexibility of builds isn't even THAT big; so... it's kind of a steep tradeoff to just have them not really touch; imo)#(if it's only this much flexibility in builds; i'd kinda pick the more natural on-screen character interactions over it ngl)#(if they are to always leave room for Andraste between them at least use that space and let Rook be genuinely fat ykwim?)
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i had to put my dog down today 💔💔💔💔💔💔 worst thing i have ever experienced
#he went downhill so fast in the last two days :(((((#couldn’t breathe couldn’t walk wouldn’t eat#he paced from 1pm-1am yesterday without laying down even tho he was so wobbly :(((((#and he was so bad today 😥#he was the best dog he didn’t deserve lung cancer 💔#sweetest cutest dog in the world and i have the credentials to say that as someone who worked at a pet store for six years#and met thousands of dogs#we got three and a half extra months with him after we initially were gonna put him down but he bounced back#and then we almost put him down two more times#he tried so hard for us 💔#living this day four times (with this time being the worst obviously) has been so traumatic#i’m grateful for all the extra time we got but it didn’t make me any more prepared#miss him soooo much already no dog will ever compare 💔💔💔
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The way she's sitting 😭 what a cute little weirdo
#i always get anxious about leaving the cats for any longer period and im also PMSing but#it was almost exactly a year ago that i first noticed the growth in lucys eye after just three days away#and within two months he was dead#so im a little extra fragile
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i was hanging out with my technically-step-sister's boyfriend tonight because he came over for dinner, while she stayed home sick.
him being an actually decent person, with a life, is SUCH a breath of fresh air because god has she brought home some rotten ones before.
#they've been together for almost 8 months and he's been super involved with the whole family. so he's really deep in it#or at least as deep you can get for two 16 year olds#he's so much better than her previous relationships#not a really high bar though. seeing as the last one got her pregnant at 15 and broke up with her + went MIA the second he found out#but yeah#gothihop speaks
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Hey haha what if the first place Leo got zapped to in the universe was a barren wasteland with low gravity that reminded him of the Prison Dimension? What if he didn’t know if he’d accidentally got sent back there somehow and panicked?
Then when he tries portaling again and lands somewhere else he’s relieved for all of two seconds before the reality of his situation hits him and he realizes he doesn’t know how to get back home? So essentially the worst thing about the Prison Dimension (his isolation) was happening again? Haha what then?
#rise comic spoilers#tmnt 40th anniversary#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#rottmnt headcanons#I’m gonna be very annoying about this plot point for a while sorry#honestly whether or not time dilation occurred him ‘bouncing around the universe’ implies physical destinations#so imo he definitely had to survive alone for some time at least even if it turns out not to have been the months it was on earth#I’m also a staunch believer of this happening a year to almost two years post movie#the boys look too young to be older than that and splinter looked the exact same too so#luckily this comic is vague enough about these things that you can come up with your own inbetweens
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Friendship is the most special thing in the world because no award could be give me bigger happiness than jumping around in my room and smiling because my pookie asked me if I wanted to match pfps
#SHES AMAZING I LOVE HER AHHHHH#I hope we manage to find a cute bsd pfp it would be literally my dream#little vent tw!!#it's been so long since I matched pfps last time was with my ex who started being wayyyyy too weird..#and the other time was with a friend who started ghosting me some months later just because I didnt give her enough adopt me pets or smth 💔#and like. her stopping talking to be literally broke me as a person. it was devastanting for like 13yo me#woahhh thank you k. now I have social anxiety and keep dobting whether people really want me there or not#I still have a sort of love hate relationship w her but like its been over 2 years maybe 3 why do I still care abt it sm :<#especially since our other bestie is wayy more affectionate w k than w me it just makes me feel so weird like im sort of a 3rd wheel#but at least the friend im gonna match with is the sweetest person ever and we can be silly together :333#unfortunately we only know eachother from a course so we always have to wait 2 weeks to see eachother#and even tho i still see k almost every day shes pretty different now#but ive been feeling so so happy the last few days since school started and im afraid I might go back to being how I was when she returns#because. I bet my two friends will keep being silly together and ill have to sit w my ex again cuz hes still part of our friend group#I mean hes a nice and funny guy but I figured that a relationship wont work with us. I tried it and I just wanna be friends#I have a lot of fun w him but like in a platonic way#and im afraid he still thinks we should be together#meanwhile my besties keep flirting w eachother like??#I mean its pretty funny as a joke but I cant help but feeling kinda jealous especially because I used to have a huge crush in one of them#talked a bit too much ooopssss#Im just trying to move on but I hope k coming back doesnt start everything over again#anyways!! I love my bestie from the course smmmmmm Im still so so happy :D wish we could see eachother more#random stuff#chaos#friendship#violet rambles
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We rlly don’t need another majima game 😭 please give other characters a chance he already had the spotlight in 0😔
lord if i speak on goro majima.
#snap chats#my last nerve was seeing him front and center on that Three Legends shirt with daigo and saejima im SICK OF HIM#what do you MEAN the Sixth Chairman is backseating majima. like thats his retainer PUT DAIGO UP FRONT#it aint even bias its gen just like. why is the sixth chairman not treated the most important. thats The Chairman of the whole shit#EX chairman whatever we know what i mean#'snap its just a shirt' and these are just my balls alright its all the little things that are like Dawg Cmon#i woulda got the shirt cause it looks like somethign youd get from claires and thats hilarious However ... im annoying.#ill say this then play y0 and be like Ah..... i love you...#fr tho im sick of him GO AWAY YOU ARE NOT THAT GUY#im that meme of spiderman holding back the train and the trains saying mean things about majima#this ire is only brought by rggtwt mates insisting majima needs any more content. like at all.#they gave majima a y0 statue but as far as i can see kiryu doesnt have one like What.#ik i say id skip y0 kiryu if i could during replays and its never that serious but still .... the hell...#my brother in christ majima does not need any more why are you acting starved#i get it hes your fave but my god. goku this trains heavier than i thought i cant do it#ive had beef with rggtwt ever since they tried to say majima was more important to kiryu than haruka. like brb eating a cactus#rgg making gaiden was the worst thing they couldve done cause now everyone wont stop mentioning charas getting a gaiden game#MAJIMA OF ALL OF THEM DOES NOT NEED ONE MFER THATS WHAT Y0 WAS FOR. WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT#THEY GAVE HIM AN EXTRA STORY IN YK2 ALSO LIKE RGG IS DOING THE MOST FOR A SIDE CHARACTER#anyway this is why im happy saejima and akiyama are getting figures. ESPECIALLY AKIYAMA#I FEEL LIKE WE NEVER SEE SHIT OF THAT GUY and saejima. tbh. but still ... akiyama esp just feels left out#big hope other charas start to get more love. like my daughter haruka ok rgg plesae drop one of her idol statues thank you#on a lighter note september is almost upon us which means two things#1.) i have to move back to school at the end of the month 2.) rgg news is soon .....#SOOO curious as to what's on the horizon .. maybe ill stream it for the first time in nine thousand years#ok bye im gonna eat cereal <- diced spam and rice
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im around if anyone's wondering i just feel like my sanity is slipping
#is this what unmedicated adhd when you're nearing 30s is like or is it depression or isolation or the knowledge that i'll always be this#who the fuck knows definitely not me but my god. the passage of time mkes me feel insane i almost wish i could just not look#at what time and day and year it is. it's just like. what do you mean it's been weeks. months. years. where the fuck was i then?#i'm not sad or miserable either tbh i'm just completely out of it. met up with a friend i haven't seen in what? 2? 3 years? and nothing#i knew him since first grade you'd think it would be nice to meet him but no i just kept thinking “i hope he leaves soon” the whole time#anyways yeah still haven't even opened discord. since winter right? i'm sorry i do not have it in me to talk to people. anywhere#sent out two messages regarding work today and as stupid as it sounds it's the most i've done in forever. pathetic really. oh well#at least the dreams are mostly nice
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