#he’s a chaos demon

[dysfunctional-doodle]

Which version of Mikey do you think is the most unhinged?

Personally, out of all the ones I've seen, the 2003 one is my personal choice. He pulled the pin of a grenade on a guy's suit and basically just went, "Huh. Neat" when they blew up

This was against the Triceratons, and it's only one instance of Mikey being Mikey

I’ve talked about this many times before, but it’s 2003 Mikey 100%. He literally pulls a pin on a grenade belt of a Triceraton and runs away giggling as the poor guy is left to blow up.

Also in fast forward, he commits multiple counts of aggravated assault over a video game - Leo even says “oh no, he’s got that look!” just before Mikey goes insane, indicating this is a regular occurrence when he’s motivated. Don’t ruin this turtle’s video game fr.

And let’s not forget, Raph and Donny only taking Mikey to the junkyard to try and keep him out of trouble. Donny even says “I’d rather have him not doing anything than be bored” or something along those lines when Raph asks why he’s allowed to goof off. His attention span can and will be weaponised in the name of mischief.

I love him.

[just-null]

i am literally on my KNEEEEEESSSSS. please please make more yandere hantengu clone art.. i don’t care if you don’t color it in or if it’s just a simple sketch PLEASE 😞

is the threat directed at you??? at others??? at something else??? do you even want to find out??? You'll probably be okay if you get back home before dark and make it up to him.

[flamingpudding]

He's my clockwork appointed babysitter, not dad.

They failed, even they managed to beat all the cultist in time. The ritual was still completed. The leader was laughing like a maniac until Hood hit him hard with the butt of his gun, knocking the guy out cold finally. With held breaths, they watched how smoke rose from the ritual circle higher and higher until it started to form a black shadow with stars as eyes and too many teeth and limps. Batman was on his way with Constantine. Maybe they could at least contain whatever that was until they arrived.

"Who in the name of all good and holy dared to summon me?!" A static scratchy voice echoed in their ears.

No one dared to answer at first but of course Red I-fear-nothing Hood had to open his mouth earning him death glares from his siblings. "Aren't you like a demon? Why would you mention anything good and holy?"

That think was blinking at them and Tim did a double take when that think moved its many limps like it was rubbing the back of its neck.

"In the name of all bad and cursed then?" It sounded unsure still a booming echo like voice but unsure. They shared a look. Dick opened his mouth, ready to say something when suddenly a familiar voice shouted from behind them.

"Cut the crap kid! They are the Batsie and his birds belong to the good!"

They turned to see Constantine marching in with Batman right behind him. The man was throwing the but of his cigarette way as he went right up to that demon. Which apparently was not one because right as the Brite was up to it a puff of greenish some blocked their view for a moment before a white haired child stood where the demon had been seconds ago.

"The hell you doing out here kid. I told you to stay at home."

"You try resisting a summon when your all new to the fact that you can get summoned!"

"Your going to make my hair gray faster, you little chaos gremlin."

"Aw love you too!"

"Uh Constantine?" They had question of of them was that Constantine was apparently familiar with that child, demon, whatever.

"Right." The man lit another cigarette but before he could even take one drag of it he side eyed the child staring up at him before he flicked it to the side. "Bats my demon son, Danny the Bats."

"Demon son?"

"Actually I am-" They watched how Constantine covered the child's, Danny's, mouth with his hand shushing the boy.

"What did I tell you about interdimensional secrets? That's right, do not talk about them to just anyone. We are not repeating the Green Lantern incident."

Should they feel offended? It felt like they should. They weren't just anyone.

"Constantine." Batman gruffly warned, but the man held up one hand towards them. Batman was definitely offended that Green Lantern got to learn something he wasn't getting to know on Constantine's watch.

"One moment Batsie. I need to- did you gremlin just lick my hand?!"

The moment Constantine removed his hand the child stuck his tongue out at the JL Dark member and made a break for it to hide behind Batman.

"Get back here you little..."

"No! I am always stuck at home, and you promised me I would get to see the watchtower at last month!"

Batman blocked Constantine from getting to who was apparently the man's demon son. Staring at the man as the boy grinned in triumph.

"Mate get out of the way, this kid needs to get grounded again."

"For what?"

"Being a chaos gremlin that won't listen."

The rest of the batfam had only one burning question on their mind. "Which demon was willing enough to have a child with Constantine?"

Well, except for Tim who had caught the little tidbit of interdimensional secret and was wondering who Danny really was.

[one-real-wrimonkey]

One of my favourite things about the Book of Bill release is that for years I’ve seen people call Ford a fool for trusting Bill or believing a word he said.

“He’s a manipulator, he’s a con man, you can’t trust a word he says. He’ll say anything to get you on side.”

And now parts of the fan base are like *gasp* tragic backstory. Misunderstood baby, deserved a happy ending.

It’s like cinema.

[lazycranberrydoodles]

sibling bonding moment!

[tanglepelt]

Dc x dp idea 66

Danny and Damian are twins.

Danny does not excel at majority of training. He does excel at stealth. One day he overhears a discussion regarding how there could only be one heir.

He knows he can’t defeat Damian. He also just doesn’t want to. They are by no means close, but it’s still his twin. So right there and then he plots.

Danny fakes his own death. Lighting a fire “accidentally” to “dispose” of his corpse. No risk of the pits bringing him back.

This leads to him in amity park. The Fentons were strange enough to take him in. A son story about how his family wants him dead. Jazz had always wanted a little brother.

Over time Danny realizes just how toxic the league was. Jazz helped a lot. He feels guilty about leaving Damian behind. And for having Damian “kill” him. Sneaking into the league is out of the question so he stews in guilt. Then the accident happens. 5 years later.

So he does go back. Damian isn’t there.

He ends up at a gala with Vlad or sam.

He sees Damian. Danny shoots his shot. Just popping up by him. Apologizing for using him to fake his own death and asking if he managed to realize how bad the league was.

All while dodging Damian’s attacks.

[the-witchhunter]

DP x DC Constantine Jr: Father Son Bonding

So John Constantine is more than a bit of a hoe. He’s a disaster bisexual who’s taste in men is “Big and strong enough to fold him like a folding chair” and his taste in women is “competent and could probably kick his ass”

Both describe Doctors Jack and Maddie Fenton

So, I propose that Constantine had a fling with both of them and the resulting threesome resulted in Danny. And I don’t just mean that only one of them is his father, I’m talking more Greek Mythology where the mother slept with both a god and a mortal and both were the resulting child’s father. Danny is the son of both Jack and Maddie Fenton, AND John Constantine.

Probably due to some meddling from Clockwork

So, cut to years later. and Danny is starting to awaken some magical abilities. And thus, John finds out he has a son with the wacky ghost hunter couple he hooked up with years ago. Now Danny is dealing with the fact he has another dad that’s just a disaster of a person, as well as his uncontrolled magical abilities awakening. John is just trying to figure out how to be a functional adult while Danny stays with him for the summer, and if the kid could not mess with his many dangerous magical trinkets that would be great

Aka, Danny spends the summer with his estranged magic dad to learn how to handle his sudden magic powers and causes chaos.

Danny also seems to have inherited John’s resistance to omniscience, much to the displeasure of the Observants. He was bad enough when they could tell what he was going to do...

[sillygoofyqueer]

The best danmei couples are the ones that work just as well - if not better - as lesbians.

[grassbreads]

On a scale of Chang Geng to Luo Binghe, how well does your teenage protagonist cope with the realization that he has a massive thing for the guy that's basically raising him?

[talk-danmei-to-me]

Pondering whether I should start treating 7 seas danmei translations like pokemon and y'know buy them all.

[hijinxinprogress]

Billy definitely thinks about random things during fights and decides the internet needs to know immediately

[staticymaticyyourlifeisatravesty]

You know since Fulgrim became this snake thing, how much do you wanna bet he has a habit of swallowing things whole and then just not eating for the next week or so that it takes to digest his meal? I bet you anything he's eaten space marines whole and got a horrible stomach ache from it. Why he thought it was a good idea is anyone's guess.

Anyway, I am slowly learning to love Fulgrim as much as I do Sanguinius. They're both super cool and it's very sad what happened to Fulgrim. I wish I could fix him. Also, Snake. You have no idea how much I fucking love Snakes. His scales are so pretty!!!! I wonder how hard shedding is for him. He must have times where he doesn't really eat much or seem interested in doing anything aside from rubbing on this rock because skin is very itchy and tight. I also realize this would imply Fulgrim is literally just getting bigger and longer. He does not need to get any bigger. He will become a mountain of a snake man if allowed to grow continuously. Probably more likely shed if he gets hurt or has parasites like regular snakes do. Might shed every few hundred years or thousand depending. As big as his sheds would be, imagine how pretty they'd be!!!

[laz-kay]

“And I know that one can’t afford me”

“Gross! I’d never think of it, spider”

[emoryinaboat]

I cannot take early Spike seriously anymore because he spent like 12 episodes tied to a chair in Giles' house drinking blood out of a union jack mug and also every time him and Buffy are onscreen I'm reminded that they fucked hard enough to bring a building down. Also I get Rest In Peace stuck in my head.

[firerose18991]

Rengoku would've had such big tits

[blue-mood-blue]

Danmei Faves Meet Chopped: The Thought Experiment

(with the caveat that I have not read All The Danmei so actually this is “a limited selection of danmei faves” meet chopped) (also as of their official translations, no spoilers pls)

The Contestants:

1) Xie Lian

Pros: There is not one single thing that you could put into a basket that this man would be intimidated by. Not a single thing. He will cook anything that you hand to him, and be delighted to do so. You cannot phase him with unlikely ingredients or conflicting flavor profiles, he has risen above these concerns. He is smiling at everything he pulls out of the basket and probably scaring the other contestants in the process.

Cons: He might kill someone. Not on purpose. He will be out after round one, guaranteed, once the medics standing by in case of cuts intervene for a severe case of “all the judges are now poisoned.” Filming will probably have to stop so ambulances can be called. The crew generously allows him to take his leftovers with him.

2) Wei Wuxian

Pros: He is going to pack so much flavor in every bite! Every single bite! This man knows and embraces spice, and no one will be able to tell him that his meal is bland or underseasoned! Chili oil all over the damn plate!

Cons: The flavor is pain, he’s used every pepper the pantry has, and if he makes it to round two it’s only because of Xie Lian accidentally unleashing the horrors in round one.

3) Mo Ran

Pros: He’s a good cook! He makes a variety of dishes, and he’s gotten used to adjusting recipes for specific preferences. He’s well-traveled so it’s likely he’s encountered many ingredients and had practice in a variety of conditions, which is good experience to have in this competition. He’s been doing his best to be on his best behavior, but heaven help anyone who monopolizes the fryer.

Cons: Again - he’s been on his best behavior, but that’s really for one person who is not currently in the kitchen. He also only really cooks for one person, who has particular tastes.

4) Luo Binghe

Pros: Also a good cook! He, too, has a range of dishes he knows how to prepare, with years of practice going back (probably) as far as his adoption in his early childhood. He is well-traveled as well, with such exciting and… unique locales such as Hell Dimension (aka Endless Abyss) where he probably had to make… questionable culinary choices, so he probably won’t be thrown by whatever’s in the basket.

Cons: There’s a non-zero chance that there’s blood in the food.

(Of this particular line-up, I think it would come down to Mo Ran vs. Binghe for the dessert round, which will be a close call - they both have experience with desserts, I imagine, but I think Mo Ran might have a slight advantage considering Chu Wanning’s sweet tooth. He’s made a lot of sweets and more often. Also, can Binghe lean on a “protagonist halo” when Mo Ran is the protagonist of his own story?)

(Assuming the final round doesn’t devolve into chaos and sabotage, which… is very, very possible.)

The Non-Contestants:

Hua Cheng: Could he do well on chopped? Almost certainly. But why would he? He is here to cheer on gege.

Lan Wangji: Would probably actually do better than Wei Wuxian, if he cooks the meal to Wei Wuxian’s taste - I feel like he would be a little more sparing with the spice. Otherwise, his food is probably too bland for the judges.

Chu Wanning: He has one good dish, and it’s [redacted]. He could last a round but after that he’s probably out. He will do his best. He will not look like he is panicking (he is panicking).

Shen Qingqiu: A millennial who choked to death on bad food and rage. He probably has limited kitchen skills, but beyond the powers of having a microwave? Who knows.

Bonus Round:

Li Yu: He would try so hard. He would put every bit of skill he had on the table. He does not have any skill to put on the table. Do not put a fish in his basket, do not do this to him.

Mu Tianchi: Probably wouldn’t even compete. He’s going to steal Li Yu’s food from the judges. How dare they.

Chang Geng: He could probably do well in the competition, if he could be convinced to compete, but he probably couldn’t. He is smiling very politely at the producer, who is feeling a chill down their spine and backing away slowly.

Gu Yun: Do not let this man in the kitchen, he will cause problems on purpose.