#he will beat your ass

[w1yre]

really bad goliath oc doodle im so sorry goli i’ll do you justice

[stump-not-found]

mabel pines #1 hater

[kittenscookie]

Percy: Hey dad?

Poseidon: Yes Percy?

Percy: I was just wondering, you used to be pretty ruthless—what changed? What made you wanna turn over a new leaf?

Poseidon: *Gets violent phantom pains in the scars he received after pushing a man with really sexy thighs way too far*

Percy: Dad?

Poseidon: *Swallows* Well son, you get older, you mature, you realize some actions were definitely out of proportion, and some lessons don't need to be relearned...

[irenespring]

Today I would like to shout out that one random Twitter person who made up that JD Vance bragged about fucking a couch.

Imagine making a random shitpost and less than two months later your joke is being used by a major party nominee for Vice President on live television at his introduction rally, earning him thunderous applause.

That poster must be having quite the experience.

[limpnoodles]

The sheer terror I felt for husk at this moment:

(Alastor we need a talk.)

[bigfatbreak]

BLACKOUT : destroys all light

so have you all been keeping up with Scarlet Lady 👀

[royaltea000]

POV they just told their da shixiong on you

[merakiui]

thinking about ace who starts buying clothes (especially sweaters and hoodies) in larger sizes in the hopes that you'll ask him to borrow you one. don't get it twisted! he's not doing this because of that silly "boyfriend fit" or whatever. 🙄 just,,,, it would be nice........to see you.....in his clothes......and being comfortable...... yeah. on second thought, don't even ask him for a hoodie!!! >:( remember that time you didn't let him crash at ramshackle? now it's his turn to be stingy with his stuff!!!

ace who, whenever the two of you are walking side by side in town, takes the side that parallels the street. you keep switching places with him because you can never walk in one place and ace gets huffy about it. when you ask him why, his voice gets softer and he averts his eyes and mutters something about how it's safer if the guy stands on the side closer to the street. he just wants to make sure you're safe. because..... BECAUSE who else is he going to bother if a car hits you and you die!?!?!?!? you punch his arm and he makes an exaggerated show of almost falling into the street, feigning hurt. and this is why he's staying on this side! ...or something like that, he insists with his hands stuffed in his pockets.

he's also your "excuse me. they asked for no pickles" guy. <3 ace stands up for you an absurd amount of times. if you tease him about it, he'll (with a sly grin) tease you back: "ohhh, so you want me to be a little mean? is that it?"

he's also a "this one's for you" and then completely misses the shot guy.

whenever you come to watch his basketball games or practices, he makes sure to do his best just to impress you (and later rub it in your face because you told him he can't ball. he'll show you!!).

ace who, for every teasing remark and flirt, never follows through. he's all talk (mostly). truly a cherry boy through and through. so what if he gets flustered when it rains and your shirt becomes see-through and he huffs and drapes his uniform blazer over you, muttering about how you're a lost cause!!! so what if he makes sure to save a seat for you at lunch so you won't ever feel left out! so what if he has "that look" or gives you "those eyes" whenever you aren't looking (so fond of you he doesn't even realize it). he's not in love! gross. what a dumb idea. >:p

also also!!! ace who makes jokes that harbor truth. he constantly jokes about sharing a bed (because there's only so much space. definitely that and no other reason...), and if you ask him if he wants to share a bed with you he scoffs and says something playful like, "you'd like that, wouldn't you?" AAAAA NO, ACE!!! T_T you'd like that!!! or you and your other first-year friends dress in fancy attire and go to a fast food restaurant and he goes on and on about how he cuts a pretty cool figure in a suit, wouldn't you agree? you don't even have to say anything; he knows you like it. maybe if you ask him nicely, he'll wear it for you again. ;D

the type of friendship where everything's mostly jokes between the two of you and so those moments when ace is very soft and sincere always catch you by surprise. he remembers things about you that you don't expect him to remember, and ace thinks you're so dumb (secretly affectionate) for thinking he'd forget these details.

or when you go clothes shopping/thrifting. maybe you have bags from lunch or other stores. he insists on holding them so you can look around freely. you give him a dubious look. what does he want in return? he's definitely going to hold this good deed over your head later... ace rolls his eyes playfully and takes the bags from you anyway. you laugh at him: "okay, boyfriend. thanks." he stands there in the middle of the store, bags hanging off of his arms and shoulders, and then it hits him.

he does a lot of things for you that cross into boyfriend territory, doesn't he?

[nashvillethotchicken]

I stand with Louis no matter what. If either lestat or armand did that shit to me and people talked about me the way they talk about louis on here and on twitter you're gonna see me in history books

[sp0o0kylights]

Part Two / Part Three

Ao3

It's 8:45 am. 

The Red Barn, which is neither red nor a barn, has been open since 7, catering to the early morning crowd with rounds of coffee and pancakes.

It was no Benny's, but given the size of Hawkins and the lack of alternatives?

No one was complaining. 

They were all too happy someone had opened up another watering hole for the working class man (or lass, as Foreman Shelly will dutifully remind you) which meant the place was packed with both day and night shift regulars, passing each other in staggered waves. 

It also meant Wayne was sharing the packed breakfast counter with a warehouse worker by the name of John Cheese on one side and Police Chief Jim Hopper on the other.

He doesn't mind it.

Wayne's a man on a budget thinner than his shoelace, but he's also a man who understands that small indulgences need to be made in life or you didn't truly live it.

This is how he convinces himself to get a coffee at the Barn after work everyday, reading the morning newspaper and chatting with the other regulars before he heads home.

Bonus, it gets him out of the rapid-fire franticness that is his nephew in the mornings.

(All the love in the world wouldn't change the fact that all that Eddie came with a lot of noise. 

The kind of noise that was a tried and true recipe for a headache right after a long shift.)

As a trade off, Wayne went to bed early so he could wake up in time for dinner with Eddie.

 It was a nice little system that worked for them. 

A routine Wayne was reminiscing fondly on, when the pager on Chief Hopper started to chirp. With a sad moan, the man fished out a few crumbled bills and threw them on the counter, abandoning his coffee to trudge out to his truck.

This was not unusual.

Particularly recently, given they were but a scant few weeks past that whole mall ordeal. A fact all too easy to remember when one caught sight of the Chief’s still healing face. 

What was unusual, was when he came storming through the doors a minute later, face now a furious shade of red with his hat clenched in his hand. 

The energy in the room shifted, taking on something a little watchful as Hopper swept his gaze from side to side, like a dog on the hunt.

Judging by the way he stilled when he caught sight of Wayne, the latter assumed he found what he was looking for and could only pray it was the person behind him. 

(He liked John, but Wayne had enough trouble this year and he wasn't looking for any more.) 

"Munson." Hopper called, striding over and dashing all his hopes. There was a choked fury emitting off him, and given the way John audibly scooted his chair away, Wayne knew everyone had clocked it. 

"Chief." Wayne greeted, inclining his head towards him.

Idly he wondered what the hell his nephew had done this time.

'So help me if he stole all the town's lawn flamingos and put them in that damn teachers yard again….'

Wayne didn't even get to finish his threat, the Chief was already next to him. 

"Mind if I have a word outside?" 

Dammit Eddie.

"Ah hell, what's he done now?" Wayne asked with a sigh, eyeing the coffee he had left morosely. 

There was still almost half of it left and the pot had tasted fresh for once. 

"What?" Hopper said, and then Wayne got to watch as the man ran through an entire chain of thoughts, each one punctuated by things like; "Oh," and "No. " 

"This is something else." He finished, flushed and fidgeting, anger making him antsy. 

Wayne stared up at him. 

"Something else?" He repeated, not sure he heard.

"Yes, something else." Hopper snapped impatiently, before leaning forward, voice dropping low. "This doesn't involve your nephew, but we both know you owe me for how many times I've let that kid off, Wayne. That's a damn big favor I've been doing you and I'm calling it in." 

If it were any other cop, it'd sound like a threat.

It was Hopper though. The same Hopper who Wayne had gone to school with.

They'd never been friends exactly, but they had been friendly and remained so. Even now, after Wayne had taken Eddie in, who’d gone on to be an undeniable pain in the local PD’s ass. 

Hopper really did let the kid off easy. 

Wayne really did owe him. 

So he put down his coffee with a sigh, passed his newspaper over to John and stood up, motioning for Hopper to lead the way. Got into the Chief’s truck when he waved him in, and didn’t make a big fuss when Hopper tore out of the parking lot like hell was about to open up under them. 

"Not a lot of the kids involved in the mall fire could be identified, but a few of them were." Hopper started, which felt nonsensical given the utter lack of context. 

Wayne hummed to show he’d heard. 

“Some of them got banged up more than others, and a lot of people wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t make it.” 

A pause, Hopper white knuckling the steering wheel as he swung the truck hard around a turn. 

“For certain people, those kids dying is the preferred outcome.” 

A mix of fear and warning swopped low in Wayne’s gut. 

"Jim." Wayne said, dropping the use of a last name because if any situation called for it, it was this one. "What exactly are you saying here?" 

The Chief chewed on his split lip. 

"I know you're smart, Munson. I know you, and plenty of others are aware that something's happening, been happening in this town." 

Which was a hell of an understatement if you asked Wayne. Plenty of the upper classes might be able to bury their heads when it came to the military parading about and the flow of “accidents” they brought in their wake, but then, they didn't see all the other signs of trouble. 

The absolute oddity that was Starcourt’s construction. 

How it had been built using primarily outside crews and anyone who'd taken a singular look at the site could tell you they were building it weird. 

Weird as in it looked like it would have a multi-level basement, and not what a mall should have. 

Then there were the constant electrical problems. The backups upon backups that failed. The late night delivery vans headed out to the Hawkins Lab. 

The things in the woods that kept spooking all the deer and the weird markings they left behind that unnerved even the hardest of hunters. 

This didn’t even touch the Russian military that more than one reputable person swore was hanging around. 

The very same Wayne himself had seen, on more than one occasion. 

(And you couldn’t deny it; those boys were military. Past or present, it didn’t matter. They moved like a threat, and Wayne treated them like one, staying well clear.)

"Yeah." Wayne admitted. "I also know better than to stick my nose in it." 

"That makes you a smarter man than me.' Hop complained under his breath, but the anger was self directed. 

"The point is, there are some government types crawling around, doing shit they shouldn't be doing, and more than a few of them are in the business of making people disappear.” 

This was absolutely not where Wayne had thought this was going. 

Hopper took a breath. Than another.

A third.

It was starting to make Wayne nervous, in a way he hadn’t felt since a social worker had brought Eddie to him for the last time and final time. It was the feeling that things were about to shift in a way that would change the course of his life. 

"Steve Harrington is sitting in my office right now, beat to absolute shit.” Hopper admitted.

Wayne gave him the floor to talk, letting him go at his own pace without interruptions. 

“He's there because some of those government types finally figured out his parents are never fucking home.” 

Wayne sucked in a breath. 

"We both know his parents, Wayne. Harassing them to come back and take care of their kid won't work, and frankly, I’m beginning to think all the phone lines are tapped anyway.” He winced here, like voicing such a thing pained him, and Wayne understood.

It sounded a little too out there, a little like he was buying into a conspiracy. 

Except he wasn’t. Wayne knew he wasn’t. 

Jim Hopper might have been an alcoholic, a man living in pain and unconcerned with his own life, but if there was one thing he was solid for, it was shit like this.

He didn’t jump to conclusions. Didn’t believe the first thing people told him. Even at his worst, he did the work to see what was really happening, and made his decisions from there. 

(Even if that decision was to accept the occasional bribe, or drive an intoxicated 13 year old Eddie home instead of hauling his ass into the drunk tank.) 

“Harrington won’t admit it, but he’s got a hell of a concussion if not a full blown brain injury and he’s not reacting as well as he should to Suites trying to run him off the road.” Hopper continued. Angrily, he added, “Damn kid didn’t even come to me until they tried to break into his house last night.” 

His fingers squeezed the wheel so hard Wayne heard the leather creak in protest. 

“I’d take him, but my cabin is being renovated from…” He trailed off, heaving a sigh.

 “A storm, so me and my kid are bunked with the Byers right now and we’re full up.” 

Hawkins hadn't had a storm like that in years, but Wayne wasn't going to call him out on the blatant lie. 

“I need a place to stash him for the next few weeks, until I can work with some of the higher ups sniffing around, and get them to call off their attack dogs.” 

“And you want to stuff him with me.” Wayne finished. 

“I know you don’t have the room.” Hopper admitted easily, stopping his truck at a red light and locking eyes with the other man. “But I also know you’ll be the last place anyone would look for him.” 

'Ain’t that the damn truth.'

“You’re really gonna go this far for a Harrington?” Wayne asked, instead of the million of other questions leaping to the forefront of his mind. 

This one, he figured, was the most important. 

“He’s not his dad.” Hopper said, as firm as Wayne had ever heard him. “He’s not either of his parents, and he saved my little girl.” 

Wayne hadn’t even known Hopper had another little girl, but he also knew better than to ask where the guy had found one. 

It wasn’t his business, just as nothing else Jim was involved in, was his business.

Except, apparently, Steve Harrington. 

“I’m gonna need my own truck if I’m takin' Harrington home.” Wayne said easily, instead of bothering to ask anything else.

If Jim said the kid was different than his daddy, then he was--because when it came to things like that, Jim didn't lie.

No point in it. 

“I know. Just needed to talk to you first, without anyone overhearing.” Jim said, before swinging the police truck around and heading back to the Barn. 

“I’ll stay in contact with you, and I’ll make sure Harrington pays you for the pleasure of your hospitality. Just--” Here Jim cut himself off, looking like he was struggling an awful lot with the next thing he wanted to say. 

Once again, Wayne waited him out.

“Don’t let Steve fool you. He’s good at fooling people, letting them think he’s okay. Too good at it, and between the two of us, I have a real good idea of the reason why.” 

A memory came to Wayne unbidden, of Richard Harrington and Chet Hagan, beating some poor kid in the highschool bathroom bloody. The grins on their faces as the poor guy wailed for them to stop.

How they almost hadn’t. 

“Alright.” Wayne agreed.

Hopper swung back into the Barn's parking lot, and Wayne moved right to his own beat to shit truck, ready to follow Jim back to the police station.

He wasn’t a praying man, not anymore, but Catholisim wasn’t a thing that let you go easy. 

He found himself sending up a quick prayer, fingers flicking in a kind of miniature version of the sign of the cross. 

Considering his own kid’s history with Harrington, and the sheer small space of the trailer? 

Wayne had a feeling it was needed.

[sparklychimecho]

Arceus they mad.png

Both Bosses can manage conflicts well but something tells me Emmet would definitely have to file more incident reports than Ingo...

[kacievvbbbb]

Sabo really got that serial killer rizz about him

Like look at those eyes. Those are the eyes of a man that has several things wrong with him and he's about to make each and every one of them and this rusty pipe, your problem.

Fucking two steps away from "you wanna know how i got these scars", ass look.

He goes from so adorable, bending so koala can put on his hat, to I have not a single polite gene in my body and I will destroy you mentally before I destroy you physically to Just straight beating people's asses with a pipe like a thug

I'm obsessed with him.

[facadep]

You guys really liked my freshman Vil- So I shall feed you some more content you simps.

[littlefankingdom]

No, they do not. It would destroy them to do so. Dick got really depressed after killing the Joker, he hated himself. Tim worked to save the lives of assassins from the League of Assassins. Yes, they value life. Stop insulting their characters.

[spooksier]

thinking about jon jarchivist sims as i often do and one aspect of s5 jon that i LOVE but dont see too many people talking about is how shot to hell his morals get (due to him being the Literal Antichrist) but he still remains a character very very driven by his morals. which surely won't cause any issues at all.

like he asks other people what *they think* he should do so often or just does what *he thinks* is right because he's running off avatar morality which is basically 'fuck it, we ball' and jon wants to be a good person SOO BAD but he's LITERALLY THE ANTICHRIST!!! you guys....

^ this guy is fucked in the head

[hesbianyaoi]

its 10pm here which is still christmas time so i can still post this. happy holidays from the detective agency

(parody of that one My Hero Academia Christmas omake)