#he was a dick
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Saga meeting Alan from AW1 part 1 (maybe this’ll be a series idk)
Alan: Oh… I really did that?
Saga, nodding: yeah, you just wrote my daughter into the story!
Alan, crossing his arms, somewhat embarrassed: sorry about that… so, has Zane been helping you out, too?
Saga, confused: Zane? Like Cynthia’s old flame?the filmmaker?
Alan, also confused: the filmmaker? He’s a poet. Has he- has he not been the one giving you the pages?
Saga: NO! I didn’t even learn about him until recently. He’s a filmmaker apparently
Alan: huh. Yeah, I suppose he could also be a filmmaker. So you meat Weaver, huh? She’s a tough one
Saga, scoffing: tell me about it, took me a bunch of bullets to take her down
Alan, shocked: bullets?! What? Did-didn’t she help you- well, okay it’s been thirteen years but I imagine she can still give some advice
Saga, frowning: No, she was one of those Taken
Alan, frowning: Oh… no it finally got her… oh, I bet you met Hartman
Saga: who?
Alan: Hartman! The doctor? Real jackass, annoying voice, a gaslighting son of a bitch. He was in charge of the Anderson brothers
Saga: no, I’ve never met this ‘Hartman’ fellow. Also about the Andersons, they are my relatives
Alan: WHAT?!
#alan wake#alan wake 2#saga anderson#alan wake remastered#imagine Saga meeting AW1 Alan#he was a dick#still love him though
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fucking insane i was at work and this group of girls was going "he died! omg? he died!" and i was standing there like ??? and no one said a name just "he died!" and they weren't like devastated shocked just shocked so i figured it must've been a celebrity and i thought meh i'll look it up when i get home and then totally forgot and i opened twitter to look for dragon age news and the trending sidebar just said LIAM DIED and it's apparently on tmz so it must be true?
#like i was never a fan of 1d so i don't CARE care but i care lmao#that's liam payne like#he was a dick#but that was liam payne#tf??
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Can we please get the Doctor to team up with more male Companions on their own? Like with no other Companions? It seems such a rare thing and I don't know why because it always works really well.
Like with Steven, Jamie, Adric, Turlough and Fitz
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I know the point of the Nada issue is the Dream is an asshole, but dang is Dream in asshole in it.
#It did piss me off less than it did on my first read of the issue#Probably because I knew what was coming and could appreciate the tragedy of it all#But still#he was a dick#sandman#havendance reads comics#carthago delenda est
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am I the only one on here not thirsting for miguel o’hara?
#don’t get me wrong#i would kill for oscar isaac#but miguel#miguel o'hara#he was a dick#hated him#atsv#spider verse#across the spider verse
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for some reason, the colleague that tutors me keeps talking to me about her ex husband
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Just because Hohenheim had a horrible past, and just because he left the Elrics for a good reason, that does not mean he was not a shitty father.
The very least he could have done was send a letter or call on occasion. If you have kids, you have a responsibility.
#yes i like hohenheim#and yes i think he was a god awful father#and yes im fucking sick of people saying ed needs to forgive him#in the show and out of universe#like this 5 year old kid is now the guardian of his little brother#imagine if one of your next door neighbors was a 5 year old boy and his 4 year old brother#and even though they have dinner at someone elses place#they're still looking after each other#its no wonder why they made a bad decision#and hohenheim had No Right to be a dick to his son in ep 20#even if he did help him and provide him relief later#that doesnt excuse the fact that his first question to him after 10 years of being AWOL is ''what possessed you to burn down my home?''#he was a dick#plain n simple#and ed doesnt have to forgive him#pls stop shitting on the 15 year old who had to grow up way too fast and is forced to be an adult when hes still an ignorant child
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🤷♀️
#but the problem is i know theres an ex out there like this#fuck that guy with a catus#he was a dick
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multilingual batkids. they learn each others languages so they can mix and match. for example:
tim in french: have you figured out how we’re gonna tell b we’re not going to that gala yet?
damian in arabic: no i thought that was thomas’ job?
duke french: me? no jason said he’d do something
jason in arabic: hey don’t drag me into this!
dick in romani: i’m gonna kill him i really i am
steph in russian: who are we killing?
dick in english: ah! nobody! wait i didn’t know you spoke romani
tim in greek: you’re an asshole
jason in english: wait my greek is rusty say it again slowly
tim in greek: you’re an asshole
jason: …. you motherfucker
cass signing: nice drawing
damian in chinese: thank you
dick yelling at bruce about something he did
jason in spanish: what language is he speaking right now?
tim also in spanish: uh all of them i think
jason: does bruce even know-
tim: no he doesn’t
#in my head dick is the king of languages#he knows all#also in my head bruce knows a few but not as many as the rest of them#batfam#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#duke thomas#steph brown#cass cain#headcanon#bat family#dc#dc comics
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Giving battinson the big birb hug he so desperately needs 🫂
#my art#dc batman#dc fanart#the batman#batman#batman fanart#battinson#bruce wayne#nightwing#dick grayson#red hood#jason todd#red robin#tim drake#timothy drake#robin#dc robin#damian wayne#alfred pennyworth#good parent bruce wayne#let them be a family dc gdi#istg the four of them imprinted on the big bad bat#he's their emotionally constipated support human/batdad
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i did wrestling in middle school. on one hand, i was actually quite good at it, which was nice. being good at any sport was a new achievement for me. on the other hand, i was bi, and i was trying very hard not to notice that i was bi, and getting folded into knots by very kind, very muscular dorks made that task somewhat difficult.
adding fire to the problem was that my parents and my grandparents wanted to watch my matches, because they were very proud that their Gangly Nerd Son was actually Sporting, and they wanted to cheer me on. which would've been sweet and all, but if there are four people you do not want there during a key part of your Burgeoning Sexual Awakening, it is your mom and your dad and your grandma and your grandpa.
right? i mean, imagine some guy's got your head in his armpit, and you're going you know, old sweat smells bad, but fresh sweat has a sort of and then you make eye contact with your grandpa in the stands and you remember you're swearing spandex so if you pop a boner people aren't just going to be able to see the outline, they're going to be able to count the veins, and the only way you will be able to restore your family's honor after that would be by moving to siberia and renouncing joy, forever. that, or lift your entire body up by your kneck then twist 180 degrees without paralyzing yourself.
it’s a lot of pressure, is what i’m saying.
still it did motivate me to win my matches really fast. because i was so tall and skinny, i was stupidly good at the double leg takedown, and then once someone was knocked down, i'd just do the half nelson and kind of flip em over for the pin. then the ref would count to three and i’d win. EZPZ.
i had one match where that went great. won in the first ten seconds, sat back down, and prepared myself for a good hour or two of doing fuck all. didn't even feel bad the parents/grandparents were gonna be bored. the matches went up from me in 5 pound increments (i was in the 115 lbs division) and it was going great until we got to the 145 lbs division. the other school's wrestler stepped onto the mat, and she turned out to be a girl so our guy flipped, because for straight guys, wrestling a girl is not a pleasant experience.
i'm not entirely unsympathetic. my experience wrestling dudes was definitely a little traumatic. but also, i dealt. guy could've dealt too. instead, he refused to wrestle, and the coach went - fine. not even worth fighting over.
so he went to the 140 pounder, and that guy said, nosir, my mom said mormons can't wrestle girls. next guy down, 135 pounder, now he knew he could pull the same card and thus did. 130 pounder, 125, both tapped out. he got to the 120 guy, and that guy was catholic, but he said he was considering being mormon, and thus would have to pass. as a precaution.
coach blew up a little at that. he said "is there anyone - anyone - on this entire goddamn team that is willing to wrestle a girl?" and then he pointed at me and said "YOU. MAT. GO."
and i'll be real, if i'd been paying more attention, i'd have pulled the mormon card too, but i'd just been putting all that audio into a buffer file because i was reading, so i was halfway across the mat before i even processed what had been said and by then it was too late to turn back.
still i had a plan. and my plan - my beautiful, perfect plan - was to do what i'd always done. tackle, flip, pin, win. sit down. read. bore my family to death. move on.
i got the first part right. she was bigger than me, but she wasn't taller. just an incredibly stout woman. god built me like a snake with glasses, just as he built her like a combat cube. the problem was the half nelson. soon as she was down, i tried hooking my arm under hers from behind and for both genders, the defense for this move is just clamping your arms really fucking tight against your sides. if you're a guy, that's whatever, but if you're a girl - especially if you're god's chosen combat cube - that pins your opponents hand right against your boob.
so, i got the hook in, she clamped, my whole arm pressed against something soft, my coach was yelling THE HALF NELSON. BABYLON! JUST FINISH IT! FINISH THE HALF NELSON! and i was just trying to press hard enough to finish, when then my brain went
...oh.
and i flipped out. of course i flipped out. i like girls, and touching a boob is an elemental experience, and i was not ready. i was not prepared. i had not committed the sacred rites. i recoiled like i'd just brushed my arm against the surface of the sun, stood up, and backed away. nobody in the room knew why i'd given up. all they saw was me, right about to win, suddenly flailing around and scrambling. so everyone started screaming at me to just get the half nelson again, and i couldn't really yell back there's a fuckin' boob in the way and it was very distressing, and the only way i could think of to make them stop was just doing it over again the right way.
so i did.
i hunkered down and prepared myself for Wrasslin' Attempt #2: The Sequel.
i knocked her down again, EZPZ. i went for the half nelson again, but she knew what i was about to do so she super clamped, and i knew she was gonna super clamp, so i wound my arm back like a pop-eye cartoon punch before swinging my arm through the gap between her bicep and her side, but the amount of time i spent winding back super signalled what i was about to to do, which gave her time to clamp even harder, which somehow redirected the entire force of the popeye punch to the bottom of her bra.
it spat out a single boob the same way an action hero might spit out one single tooth after getting a solid crack across the jaw. as if to say:
*ptooie.* "that all you got?"
i did not actually see this. my experience was that first there was an arm, then there was a bit of boob, but i was braced, i was ready, forward at all costs, tatakae motherfuckers, and then the boob went away, and i didn't know where it went but my team, and the audience, and everyone who was in front of me, they all gasped like i just kicked them in the stomach. except for my coach. he was behind me, and thus one of the four people in the room who did not see the boob. now my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my grandpa, they all got flashed but nooooooo, coach thunderbutt was behind me, and he didn't see shit so he was still yelling NOOOOOO BABYLON WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST FINISH THE NELSON! GO FOR THE KILL! BABYLON! BABYLON!
but i did not go for the kill. i stood up and she stuffed her boob back real fast, and we just kind of circled each other awkwardly until time ran out and i won on points. that's not technically allowed, but the ref had some mercy on me.
my coach did not.
i barely had time to sit down before he strode over to the bench to chew me out.
"babylon," he said, in that very calm way people get when they're too pissed to yell. "why didn't you pin?"
and i didn't know how to say well coach, i tried, but there was a boob, and it kept getting in the way, and my mom was watching, and so was my dad, and so was his dad, and his mom, and god (like bible god) and that's a can of worms because i'm pretty sure he was already mad at me, and i'm wearing spandex, and i think i might have to move to siberia, so instead i said
"i uh. i forgot how to do the half nelson."
which is actually impossible. forgetting how to do the half nelson is like forgetting how to swallow your spit.
and he looked at me, like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked through him like i'd just survived my 250th day in a trench at verdun, and he said: fine.
fine.
but we're all going to practice it for an hour tomorrow because you forgot.
and then he left.
and my buddies had the gall to be salty about it. i got so many comments saying "dude, why didn't you just tell him the truth?" and i said "you can if you care so damn much. you could've wrestled the girl too. maybe someone else should do the hard thing today."
but they didn't. so the next day, we did an hour of half nelson drills, and i spent a decent amount of time getting thrown around the mat, and it was pleasant in exactly the way that i hated and the year after that, to the surprise of everyone but myself, i quit wrestling and joined the trivia team.
and if you want more reasons to love my mom, my grandpa joked after the match that i might have to talk to my bishop about it, and my mom told him he would be allowed to make jokes after he stood in front of a crowd of 110 people in spandex underpants while wrestling a woman that was not his wife.
he paused for almost five seconds after that. then he said: aw. hell. sorry babylon.
and i'd have preferred my apology from god, but getting it from him was pretty good too.
#whew boy this make me anxious just typing it#wrestling#middle school#the dread#i feel like i have to write some stories about my grandpa not being a dick#because he was actually an amazing grandpa#he just had a few goofs are very comedic moments#and you know if you're gonna have a goof making it comedic is a virtue in itself#he was there for me more than a lot of my classmates dads were#and i dont want that undervalued#yeah#babylon-lore
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.....
I stabbed someone in the back with a pencil at catholic school
i did actually attend a catholic school as a kid because it was the only school within walking distance and my parents worked all week so they couldn't drop me off elsewhere and while i was there one of the other kids stabbed me through the hand with a pencil during a fight so i guess i'm like. 1/5th stigmatic.
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What will you be tonight? That’s the question
#fanart#dc comics#art#batman#batfamily#dick grayson#jason todd#redhead jason todd because!!!#stephanie brown#did you see the half a heart? well thats just me and my subtle stephcass agenda#damian wayne#tim drake#robin#robins#nightwing#red hood#yes thats damian feeding the rats yes i think he would
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pay attention to him NOW
#dc comics#dc#batman#bruce wayne#dick grayson#robin#robin dick#dc robin#nightwing#batfamily#batfam#he's just a silly bird. this is not his fault#do not tag as ship or i will be upset
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the funniest part of any Robin meeting the JL is that every Robin is so distinctly different from the previous one in terms of personality and vibes that the league literally gets backlash. and like, I don't blame them. not to mention that they are non-meta children that dress as a traffic light and fight crime alongside batman in gotham on a nightly basis. i'd also be a bit concerned. Batman, literally The Night of Gotham personified in the League's eyes, coming into a JL meeting: This is Robin, my crime-fighting partner. 11-year-old Dick Grayson, dressed in the brightest primary colours possible, vaguely hidden murder behind those eyes, never stops moving even for a moment: Hi! Superman: That's a child. That's-- Bats that is a child. You let a child--? Batman, deadpan: You try to stop him. Would you rather he try and murder a grown man with a wire?
Batman: This is Robin. 12-year-old Jason Todd, with the biggest grin on his face, about 3 books in his hand, stars in his eyes and a distinct street-kid drawl: Hey!!! Green Lantern: That's ... that's a different child. What?? Jason: I stole his tires :) Batman: Tried to. Jason, stage whispering to the League: basically did. Green Lantern: that is a different kid, right?? I'm not seeing shit??
Batman: This is Robin. 14-year-old Tim Drake, bo staff clutched in his hand, a wary and tired expression on his face, more on the quiet side, the literal walking definition of don't judge a book by it's cover: hello Flash: Where do you even find these-- Tim: I found myself.
Batman: This is Robin. 17-year-old Stephanie Brown, literally blonde, with a shit-eating grin, eyes full of nothing but mischief and the most explosive personality you've ever seen: hiya!! Superman: I give up. Stephanie: I know, I have that amazing effect on people.
Batman: This is Robin. 13-year-old Damian Wayne, a literal wet cat that will hiss at you, has a sword, the most judgemental stare you'll get from a teenager, ready to jump anyone there: Green Lantern: WHY DOES HE HAVE A SWORD?! Batman: ... he came with the sword.
#batman#batfam#tim drake#jason todd#dick grayson#damian wayne#stephanie brown#dc comics#icb i posted this w/o tags the first time#what is wrong w me#superman: where do you find these kids#bruce: they just show up tbh#especially tim. he LITERALLY just showed up#anyone: so which one is really robin?#bruce: they are all really robin.#bruce: dick wanted to kill a man.#jason tried hijacking my tires in CRIME ALLEY.#tim just appeared and made himself robin that was NOT me#stephanie also wanted to kill a man.#damian did kill a man. or two.#YOU try to parent these kids then come back to me clark
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i met this boy over a youtube live stream, talked to him for around… four days straight? he so mean, not just to me! to everyone. he’s an asshole. but he likes me! yk? we played fortnite, the next day he’s begging me to get on fortnite again just to talk to me, to hear my voice.. and ask for my number and snapchat. looking back, i think he was too embarrassed to ask for them in front of everyone in the live, uphold his bully reputation yk? but he would been cute if he hadn’t blocked me. poor baby, he wanted my approval so very badly. wanted me to defend him, asked me to make him coffee. mysteriously popped into chat when i was there n got “surprised” about it. the number n snapchat thing was a little weird, i think he wanted to get off to me. well, he alluded to it also. he was kinda cute. he also kinda had a bit of a fragile ego. maybe i’ll try praising him insteada scolding, he seem kinda sad when i did. i wonder if he ever got off to the thought of me choking him? or making him ride my thigh? i brought it up once, he didn’t talk for a minute but went “tch, wtv.” didn’t seem opposed. i think i might tease him a bit more. What if I made him call me mommy? HA
on another note! has anyone heard of an app called mascot? if so, i’d like recommendations of apps similar! i’m itching for group chats to make new friends in.
#🫀.txt#🫀.melly talking#🫀.melly blabbering#he was a dick#but i kinda liked his attitude#never really understood the playing hard to get thing until recently#he wants to be put in his place so bad#i can do that#<3
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