#he thought it was a good idea to ask the girls when they're all queer

[urfavsherlockholmeskinnie]

James: Time sensitive question how to flirt with a boy?

Marlene: Throw rocks at he.

Mary: Hot Dogs.

Lily: Kill him.

James: Thanks girls.

[star-anise]

So I've been watching this series of videos where a research-focused psychologist goes through Jordan Peterson's work to see which of his ideas and arguments are based on solid empirical evidence. I love it, even though she does mistakenly say his background is in counselling psychology (my field) when he's actually a clinical psychologist.

Anyway, that's got me thinking about Jordan Peterson, and how his response to criticism is, "People have been after me for a long time because I’ve been speaking to disaffected young men — what a terrible thing to do, that is. [...] I thought the marginalized were supposed to have a voice.”

So, here's my theory: Young men of the 21st century have grown up in a culture that is specifically hostile and punitive towards them. However, I think that while girls and women can participate in this culture, it is as much or more the work of boys and men. And I think that the problem with Peterson is that he's not particularly good at helping his audience escape the maze they are trapped in--and he's absolutely opposed to any attempt to dismantle a maze that is actually of fairly recent manufacture.

Case in point: The metrosexual.

The word "metrosexual" was coined in 1994 by Mark Simpson, a gay writer whose settings seem to be perpetually fixed at "critique the shit out of it".

"Metrosexual" describes heterosexual men who might be mistaken as gay, because they are interested in things very common among gay men, including: Caring about whether they're attractive; caring about how their hair is cut and what products they use in it; caring about what clothes they wear; working out to make their bodies look better; frequenting nightclubs. To be "metrosexual" was, in some people's opinions, to be a "man-boy" searching for his "inner girl".

To be metrosexual was, in some ways, to be called someone who looked gay.

The term didn't really catch on until the early 2000s, when media became briefly obsessed with talking about which celebrities were "metrosexual" or not. In that era of hotly divided opinions over the acceptability of homosexuality and queerness, it was implicitly asking, "Who looks gay? Is he gay? Tell me, fellow broadcaster: How gay does this guy look to you?"

(They got to have their cake and eat it too. A liberal audience, desperate to gather as many LGBTQ+ people and allies as possible in their race for 50% acceptance of gay marriage, cherished any signs that people with social clout might be on their side. And a conservative one, watching the same discussion, would heartily enjoy seeing a rogues' gallery of degenerate Hollywood types paraded before them, their every effeminacy pointed out in loving detail.)

Which of course got us: The Retrosexual!

When everybody's helpfully compiling lists of all the things a man can do that look gay or unmanly, dudes who don't want to get the shit kicked out of them by homophobes know all the things not to do!

Therefore, being "manly" became strictly defined by what was off-limits. To be a Real Man meant you shouldn't care about whether you're attractive, or what soap you use, or how your hair is styled. You shouldn't enjoy dancing or get too enthusiastic about music. A Real Man cares about sports and beer and being on top! Dominant!! A WINNER!!!

And, so like, here's a secret: In Anglophone culture, we are very affected by the Puritan legacy that says pleasure is inherently sinful. Vanity and pride--caring about how you look and whether you're attractive--are literal gateways to the Devil. Gluttony, and therefore seeking pleasure at all, is another such. And in Puritan religious theology, women are inherently more sinful. Yes, it goes back to Adam and Eve, and how Eve was tempted into sin first. Long story short, things associated with women became associated with sinfulness, and sinfulness became associated with effeminacy. And for centuries, you haven't even needed to be religious to drink these attitudes from the groundwater.

Okay, that's not the secret, this is the secret: Pleasure is not inherently sinful.

And liking how you look and feeling attractive and paying attention to your sensuality and your emotional life and connecting with art in a real and vulnerable way can feel really good, if you're able to handle it well.

Being raised to be a Real Man in a world where masculinity is perceived to be actively under threat is so uniquely painful, I believe, because every attempt to define yourself as "not gay" means denying yourself one of life's pleasures, and telling yourself you never even wanted it in the first place.

And then those desperate to be Real Men found a way to take some of those things back in what is surely the most painful context possible: They are allowed strictly as tools of your heterosexuality and masculine need for dominance. You are allowed to care about grooming and dancing, etc, purely as a strategy in playing a game called "Getting Girls", where you either score or you don't, where not scoring means you're worthless and unlovable, and scoring is often... strangely unfulfilling and certainly not enough to fill the aching void inside of you.

The mistake both Peterson and his fanbase make is that they get to this point, and then think: The reason I feel so empty inside is... I just haven't gotten enough girls!

Maybe some guys get out of the maze by finding a woman who is allowed to care about things like affection and love and dancing and looking nice, and their connection with her lets them express all the other parts of their souls that didn't fit in the Real Man box, but can come out in roles like Boyfriend or Father.

But humans aren't telepathic, so relationships can only "fix" you so much as you're willing to do the work of nurturing your own soul in a safe environment, so for a lot of men the maze never ends, and sometimes they don't even get the fleeting joys of relationships or sex, since they're so fucked up about them!

At this point, I as a queer woman am like, "Solution's obvious! Dismantle the maze."

And Peterson, who has worked his whole life to achieve the status of Best Maze-Runner in All of Christendom, is clinging to it like, "NO! DOWN, YOU DARK CHAOTIC MOTHER! THIS MAZE GIVES MY LIFE MEANING! THIS MAZE CONNECTS ME TO MY FOREFATHERS! I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT THIS MAZE!"

At which point, like... what can you do but just leave him there?

At least he's not in my area of specialization. The world would be too unkind if I had to deal with him in any professional capacity. I wish Clinical Psychology all their continued joy of him.

[artsy-hobbitses]

Just finished watching X-Men 97 Ep 7 (I love having a series to look forward to on a weekly basis again! Excited to get a good dinner and sit down for half and hour of getting WHIPLASHED by all the new reveals and emotions. It's such a nice thing to look forward to inthe mid-week slog as well)!!!

Thoughts and spoilers below!

They REALLY went all out with Gambit's funeral, and it was nice seeing Nightcrawler carrying out priest rites for the brother-in-law he could have had. Jubilee's anguished anger at Rogue not being there HURT

Holy shit ROGUE. VERY Rogue-centric episode, and it's pain pain PAIN evbery other minute. Her absolute disdain for Captain America not wanting her to be on his team to check out Gyrich because of the tense situation/'optics' is 100% understandable, I stand by women's rights and Rogue's Wrongs in this case. Also her backhanding him with the "America's Top Cop" label, she taking no prisoners this week.

Beast gently but sternly calling out Trish the reporter about how 'tolerance' simply isn't enough anymore and it was a low bar to set for mutant-human relations to begin with, and how he's aghast at the idea of having to give a calming/professional sound byte or something to try and quell mutant protests and demonstrations worldwide after what happened, after MILLIONS OF THEM DIED is. Very relevant. To certain current events. He's been trying SO HARD to be the sweet, professional one, but he is tired and he is sad and he doesn't have it in him to ask for the bare minimum anymore or tell his people they don't have the right to feel the way they do.

We get Diamond Emma! No clue as to whether the massacre has changed her outlook on life since her appearance was during a brief rescue moment where Cyclop's hopes that Madelyne could have survived (Jean said she could feel a telepath under all the rubble) got crushed, but hopefully that'll be answered in the next ep!

Sunspot finally coming clean to his mum about him being a mutant! She seems like a very sweet lady who clearly loves him and takes it VERY WELL, but immediately she's like "Our family is established and in the spotlight, your father's business can't afford this sort of publicity. The world won't accept you, especially given what happened, so we have to find a way to hide this from the public, and that includes cultivating a list of people you can associate with". Which feels like it could be relevant to today's queer acceptance where it's like "On a personal basis I love you and accept you for who you are, BUT..." as an evolution from the X-Men movie's "Have you ever tried... not being a mutant?"

There is a LOT of talk about 'optics' in this episode, which feels VERY TIMELY. And VERY POINTED. How President Kelly apparently wants to send aid to Genosha, but doesn't do it to the fullest extent because he's worried about the political optics from 'normal humans' who are now afraid of an all out human-mutant war, and argues that he's doing his best here and that he needs suppport to stay in office to ensure a 'worse' person for mutant advocacy doesn't step in (I'm not going to lie. Very Democrat argument for why their man should stay in office---look at the boogieman who might be there if they aren't, instead of dealing with issues head-on) . And Cyclops's civil but seething rage at that because this is NOT a time for subtleties or politicking MILLIONS OF MY PEOPLE ARE DEAD.

Nightcrawler comforting Rogue and letting her just bawl openly in his arms during Day of the Dead ;; My heart.

Rogue kills a man. Or, helps him to his death, I'm not sure how you categorize this when Trask was already attempting to jump off a building out of guilt anyway, and she stepped in to stop him, only to let go when he said he had no other info for her (she had initially told him to help them to redeem himself). Again, 100% understandable, I support Rogue's Wrongs, and I LOVE how dark they're taking this, watching our girl step closer and closer to the abyss from her rage and grief and just plunging into it. Also her screaming that Trask deserved it for killing a great man, "MY MAN!!!!!". Whoof.

KNEW Mags wasn't dead. Going to be fun seeing WHAT Bastion plans to do with him now.

Again, STELLAR episode, a good 9/10 from me!

[funishment-time]

for the ask game, Toko Fukawa :D

you got it! i'll include Syo as well. this is a bit Incoherent, but with any luck you all can Parse what i mean

Sexuality Headcanon: Toko's...tough, because she's got so much going on. regardless, i think if you strip everything away she's genuinely Bisexual, as is Syo. they lean towards Men, but Komaru is special. additionally, i say "comphet" for a lot of the girls, but in Toki's case it's a bit different: hers was less societal and more the abuse of her peers and parents. had she never met Komaru it may have never occurred to her that she could love and partner up with a Woman.

brief aside on this: i don't think Toko would ever identify as gay or queer or anything remotely accurate or healthy (ha). nor would Syo, but Syo would probably use a Slur as a label to get a rise out of people, avatar of rebellion and grunge that she is. Toki in particular is on my list of personal "what are you, gay or something?" characters while actively being married to a woman, next to Miu and a few others. good times

Gender Headcanon: okay, hear me out on this one, and sorry if this doesn't make sense, but...

the Fukawas are generally cis to me, though i've imagined a few scenarios where they're trans. when they're cis, however, i headcanon that, if they're with Komaru, only Toko ends up actually being cis. Syo becomes a sort of...genderweird she/her because she sees herself as the fantasy-masc Byakuya to Komaru's femininity. for lack of a better term: Syo thinks of herself as Komaru's husband (hersband...) a lot.

i have no idea how else to explain this without getting mildly NSFW. my thoughts on it aren't really pornographic so much as, like, Psychosexual? you know? and i want to keep the blog somewhat PG-13, so i'll leave it there!

A ship I have with said character: i am a diehard Tokomaru shipper and they're probably the one OTP i don't like splitting up in the whole franchise. they have a game together. they are the Girls of all time

A BROTP I have with said character: i've always loved the idea of Komaru being the entryway into Toko genuinely befriending (or at least earning the tolerance of) a lot of her fellow survivors in the main timeline. i do think Makoto would sincerely be Toko's pal, though, and i adore positioning him as the sweet bachelor brother-in-law in their nasty little family

A NOTP I have with said character: are there people out there who genuinely ship Fukawa System x Byakuya? if so...i'm sorry, but why? whyyyy. again, i try to Live and let Live in this fandom, but lorda mercy you chose poorly in this case, no offense

A random headcanon: to expand on my previous point...i will add, however, that my Fukawa Headcanons generally don't exclude Byakuya. i've said before that, for me, the Fukawas never really lose their crush on him, but it becomes purely, well, NSFW. if you excuse me being blunt for a moment: they still want to rail him, he figures in many of their fantasies, but they don't want to wake up next to him, and they certainly don't want to have his kids or make him breakfast.

Komaru, however, is the Fukawas' WIFE. she is Love, she is Healing, and she is their very best friend at her core beyond all the romance. she is pancakes and shitty manga and joy. Toko (and Syo) may not dream of Komaru kicking them around, but they do dream of creating a peaceful life with her. well...as peaceful as things can get in that timeline. some shit is always Happening

anyway: and Komaru just accepts this, because she knows she's got the girl(s) in the end!

General Opinion over said character: 10/10 i love my Toki so very much. Toki kinnie 4 life. stinky little insect creature. vile and perfect and lovable

[confessionsofareindeer]

Not to like totally rant but like let's get this out of the way, Season 3 Heartstopper Spoilers:

They kind of ruined the show a little for me with this sad ace rep., the carnival scene takes out the depth of Tori and Micheal's relationship, it makes it look like they're just dating, it cuts out their queerness and just makes them look like a messy straight couple. They barely had any screen time, which is fair, they're just Charlie's sister and the guy that's always around her, (no one even seems to know Micheal despite them having had class with him in the comics, but whatever, Solitaire erasure it is) I wasn't expecting to see all of Solitaire played out on my laptop for me, but I wanted some sort of complexity around aceness and maybe a reference to its existence. But instead, you're telling me a group of queer teenagers needed a fish analogy to understand aromanticsm? Really? In school I only had to tell the cis boys and the girls who stared at me funny what it meant, not my friend group that is majority LGBTQ. I thought this was supposed to be a dreamscape to actually show me and my friends, not-a-water-everything-down-for-the-straights-and-alloscape, that comes with every other story, this was made by a queer person who is aro/ace so why did we end up like this, why did I bother having hope?

I really respect how the storyline made room for Darcy and Elle had trans and non binary identities and that they were expanded upon in the show, I love it really and I think that it felt like things my friends would actually talk about. We have a slight reference to Darcy having an unlabeled gender but even this feels wrapped up as they come out as non binary, I wish it was just all less clean cut, less perfectly fit so that everything works out, do their's and Tara's sexualities shift to reflect changing Lesbian identity in a more inclusive world? Do they decide to be unlabled or does the idiotic queer discourse not exist for them? Can we have people who don't particularly lean one way or the other, or who reject this modern idea that we should fit into the straight designed trap of conformity for the heads to comprehend something outside their simple world of the nuclear family? I want sexualities nuances to be explained like gender's was. Micheal talks about it, so why is there not a large discussion or plot around it? Why does it end up a somewhat hollow scene?

Maybe my friends and I are weird and philosophical, but we'd spend lunch arguing about this sort of stuff, so I really wish they'd show it, I have the backing of the kids who loved Perks of Being a Wallflower and Catcher and the Rye (don't ask me about that one I haven't actually read it, on principle) that found Solitaire, and all the depressed outsider protaganists a little too relatable for our own good, that maybe Tori and Micheal shouldn't have even kissed in the book because people are only ever going to misinterpret it. So now looking at the show, I guess of course this happened. Tori and Micheals story meant something to me and so yeah, I'm going to be a melodramatic whiner on Tumblr about it.

Listen, I get the show is cringey at times, that it's for teens and their friends and hopefully their families too, it shouldn't be a savior or the end all be all of queer rep, it's silly, they go out and drink milkshakes and sleep in tents outside for birthdays and ignore for the most part the politicization of being a queer teen except for when it's needed for the plot and I so deeply respect that, it shows kids being kids and I thank the queer gods that it isn't the sanitized storytelling of Love, Simon that people have made it out to be. But tell me why we couldn't get this one thing, why the ace and aro teens couldn't get something that talks about allonormativity a topic that needs to be so deeply explained instead of this, and trust me, I love that Issac told Charlie he could go look it up, but he shouldn't have even had to do that, don't make our main character dumb when he's not, he said knew asexual, clearly being aro is the romantic equivalent. All of Issac's character is cool, but it feels almost overdone at this point, with Jame's and the subtle aphobia of his friends who really don't get how he feels, I don't know, maybe it's because I've lived it and most of the ace media I see feels in this same vein, I just expected better from a new character who didn't have an already written plot, they could have done anything with him, and now he's just the token ace.

I don't want people who think their's something wrong with them for being aspec, I like in these shows when people experiment with labels and attraction, but I also just want someone is confidently ace, or that finds out what it means to be aro and finally feels validated for not being interested in people, I want someone to push the boundries of what being aromantic means the way people actually are the ones who don't fit into the little societal boxes, which is what the show is all about, not to even start be wishful and ask for a character that's just aromantic, or just ace, or like Tori is supposed to be ace and and complexly arospec, but still has something going on with Micheal, in a queer way where the people in the relationship fine it, not societal standards. I kind of wanted the show to question more of what a romantic relationship even looks like, because, honestly, I'm sure I even know.

All the Tumblr aspecs are aware of the trenches of the stupidity of the infighting and microlabels that come with understanding and interacting in digital queer space, but I wish we could see some of that, the overwhelming forcefield that's kind of alienating but also tells you you can be anything, I want to see the screenshots of 20 different pride flags with their definitions and names from the MOGAI years on Pinterest or the images section online. We have the Am I Gay Quiz jokes, but show me someone who is too indecisive to fill them out, who get X on the kinsey scale. I want more, I want friendships like Tori and Micheal that lean into something that, yeah looks like dating to straight people, but manages to defy their heteronormative labels, like what's vaguely discussed by Micheal at the table but manages to be outweighed by it being what looks to be blatantly cut out as Charlie and Tori talking on the ferris wheel because Tori doesn't even say 'we're not a straight couple' but just 'we're not a couple', and that's so infuriating.

And you know what, maybe it's cinematic and creative and it'll all work out in the next season, maybe it'll all be thought out and there just wasn't enough time for it in the episode, maybe the glimmer in Issac's eye when Charlie says he doesn't know if they're dating is foreshadowing, but it could just be my naive aspec heart seeing what I want. To me it looks like they decided this was something the audience wouldn't get so they chose to leave it out, I want to believe so they wouldn't ruin it, but probably just to avoid the ultra complex queerness that comes with a disregard for labeling and an abolishionist mentality. Which comes to the point of me begging creators to trust that their audience isn't stupid and that if they are ignorant on this, they can spend 20 seconds looking it up like they had Charlie do (in an unbelievable scenario). They have such a big audience at this point, so can't we use it to teach people this time, things that aren't as easily accessible in information, the stuff that ends up in academic queer theory and pot smokers, the things that confuse people and use the medium to explain it.

I also feel like I can see a future of this show that I won't like that might follow this season, if my understanding is correct. I think we'll end up having some sort of QPR (queer platonic relationship, if you don't understand what this is, this next part may confuse you, basically the committed thing a lot of aspec and poly people find to be a good alternative to typical or traditional romantic relationships that have their own rules defined by the people in them). Originally, I hoped we'd see one with Tori and Micheal because to me that's what they're reminiscent of, I have a feeling we might see this with James and Issac instead, they'll develop a deeper relationship in place of romance, since James was looking for someone to be closer with and already really likes Issac, and Issac needs someone to have more devotion to him, instead of leaving a single person in something that is not parallel to a romance, which would be annoying. Because they're also clearly setting up for Sahar and Imogen to be something, if we were all paying attention, I see through the remaining friends bit. I get it, and yet, god forbid someone be on their own and happy, as we see Issac have a common aspec breakdown of seeing the trauma of heteronormative society fall onto him and have his reality slightly collapse, I want this to work out, and be good, but I'm so scared that they'll fall into a trap of trying to please the straights and the allos like they already are. Yet again we see all the characters in a show the victim of being coupled off at least symbolically, if I'm right.

All this for what, it's television after all, we have real lives, some better than others, but we waste them sitting at computers and TVs to escape just to be drawn back in, because even the fantasy is disappointing, I encourage everyone who just read my rant to think hard about all of this, give me your opinion, but remember this is severely online of a take and that maybe you should go do something not related to Tumblr that makes you happy, read a book or do a craft or something, eat a vegetable and drink water.

Edit: I take back what I said about everyone being in a relationship like every other show, because I really do love the way friendship is one of the focal points of the show and I don't want to ignore that, I'm just worried that they're going to ignore the original plots of some of the characters and there are already so few aro or ace characters in media

I saw the thing about Alice Oseman saying she was saving Tori's ace arc for next season, a little while after I wrote this, I sort of think that makes sense, even if it's still disappointing and if you hadn't seen that you'd be thinking the same thing as me, remember this was an incredibly reactionary rant that I wrote an hour after watching the show, anyway, I think a lot of my points still stand, I think there's a lot they could still do, and a lot they haven't, I'm annoyed, but it's not the end of the world

[steviewashere]

Return to Sender

Characters: Steve Harrington, Billy Hargrove (A Warning in Itself), Eddie Munson (E.M.)

Relationships: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson

General Audiences (May Change, but Will Not be Explicit)

CW: Use of the word Queer (as a slur, from Tommy) mentioned briefly and not at all lingered on

Tags: Pre-Season 2, Rewriting Canon, Though Keeping to Main Canon Events (i.e. Steve getting roped into finding Dart, Billy smashing in Steve's face, The junkyard, etc.), Eddie Munson has ADHD, Steve is Self-Deprecating, Teasing Banter (sort of), Steve has Shitty Parents

This is Part 2! To read Part One, follow the link here!

-------- It dawns on Steve that trying to find somebody by their little hobby of drug dealing is going to be tougher than he thought. He can't just ask anybody. And it's not like he can make some bulletin board statement or put an advertisement in the newspaper. What would that even look like?

Local Teenage Boy Who's Seen Some Shit Is Now Seeing Cute Little Locker Notes! Looking For Inquiries About A Drug Dealer With The Initials E.M.! Will Give "The Best Sex" You've Ever Had a Run For Their Money as Reward!

Yeah, he can't imagine that looking very well.

Not for him. Not for the other person involved. And he doesn't want to lose these little notes that he now looks forward to every time he goes to grab an assignment or a textbook or his lunch money. Because, what he's still reeling about, the notes keep coming. With not a single sign of stopping.

Little things. Like telling him how amazing he looks in his new polo shirts, to not listen to the scoffing of Tommy Hagan—who keeps telling Steve that he looks like a "Queer little prep." (Which, Steve's not sure how he's been found out in that regard. He hopes Tommy can keep a secret. But, knowing the history they share, he definitely can't.) And there was one with the answers to the math homework he was doing last minute at breakfast in the cafeteria, which were all correct, and Steve found himself giddily smiling over the big fat letter 'A' on the header of his paper. So, the notes are getting to be more frequent. They're nice. He loves them.

The only question is:

How the fuck is he supposed to find this person?

He began with the, albeit, dumbest way first. Standing vigil near his locker. Watching for anybody that looks like they're about to leave a note. A few girls wander near, but they don't mess with his locker. No, they flock to the other side of the hall to mess with Billy's. He scoffed when they did. And while he was busy watching them, he noticed at the glance back of his own locker, a new note.

It wasn't a very long one. Just:

"Have a good day, man. Also, stop watching random girls. You look like a creep. -E.M."

Steve physically slapped himself on the forehead when he reread it. Of course he missed his opportunity. Because he was distracted with some other mindless thing. That thing not only being those girls, but also stupid fucking Billy Hargrove. He always manages to find a way to ruin Steve's day, even without physically doing or saying something. He grumbled with the note tightly in his grip and stomped away to his last class of the day.

Then, when standing by his locker proved to be futile, he lurked in the cafeteria. Watching the tables. For somebody who was nose deep in a slew of little slips of paper, scattered near their hands, a blue pen secure in their hand. But—

He was the only one truly alone at a table. And the crowds of people at the other lunch tables made him nervous. So, he stopped watching. Besides, everybody was too busy talking to one another.

His locker didn't have a note at the end of the day. He was bummed about it.

Steve came to the conclusion on that day, Random person doesn't want me to be lurking. Or at least, that's what it seems like. Either he gets caught doing something he shouldn't be doing, or he can't actually see anything. Because there's nothing to see.

Some of his other ideas fell through.

Looking through last year's yearbook. Asking a few random students in the hallway if they knew an E.M., but they only rolled their eyes and shoved past him. (He's not used to that. Being ignored by the people around him. Maybe with his parents, but school life is supposed to be different than his home life. He doesn't like that the two are now bleeding together.) He even attempted the phone book. But that was a bust. There were probably thirty names to go through. And he didn't know which ones were teenagers in high school. And he seriously didn't want to call each one and ask: "Hey, are you the person that's leaving notes in my locker?" What kind of creep would that make him? An obsessive one, probably.

At least the student obsessed with giving him notes isn't bothering tons of other people in the process. At least this elusive stranger has morals and values.

He's growing frustrated, though. The longer this drags out. But he just has to...wait. Be patient. See if he can catch his secret admirer off guard.

In the mean time, he attends his classes. The ones that hold all the information for him to graduate, but all the knowledge goes into one ear and leaks out the other. He falls asleep at his desks from time to time. And since he's no longer on the basketball team, his schedule is wide open for after school detentions. Great, he thinks as he holds the pink detention slip in his hand today. Because what I need is proof that I'm still a failure, no matter what I do.

But he swallows his pride. Well, what's left of it. Some meager crumbs and a couple laps of liquid bravery that paint his insides like dried acrylic paint. Shuffles over to his locker at the end of his fourth period. Stuffs his oversized backpack onto the hook. Rustles around with some textbooks—maybe he can attempt his math homework; attempt is a strong word. He'' probably just stare at it and doodle a few drawings in the margins, hoping for time to pass.

There's a white slip of paper wedged between two books.

"Tough luck, Stevie. Maybe you'll get a proper nap at home once you power through detention. Believe me, the pent up frustration will knock you clean out. -E.M."

Steve scoffs. Crumples up the little thing into an even smaller ball. Tosses it at the metal backing of his locker. And watches as it bounces down pathetically to the floor. Embarrassingly, he finds himself on the verge of tears. Could my senior year get any worse, he asks nobody. But groans aloud as he picks up the paper once more and pockets it instead.

Textbook in hand and a wrinkled homework sheet in the other, he's on his not so merry way.

When he gets to the detention classroom, he's the only senior in it. Well, other than that overtime senior, Eddie Munson. He takes his seat next to Eddie, near the back, a textbook and homework sheet dutifully laid out on the desk, and his eyes stubbornly locked to it. Just to make sure it looks like they're not talking. Because he seriously doesn't want to be the only one in here. Sure, there's what appears to be a couple sophomores spaced out on the left side of the classroom. A few girls that he recognizes from Nancy's school year, all huddled around each other and whispering not so soft under their breath. But it's just him and Eddie in the back right corner. And hopefully he doesn't get reprimanded, forced to sit somewhere else, he isn't sure he can take anymore awful shit in his day.

However, it seems like it can get worse. His calculus homework. It's not something he knows well, having cheated off of one of those locker notes. Sparing his life of cognitive embarrassment, having to prove himself to maintain his average 'C' grade for sports this year. I'm not getting accepted to college, why the fuck do I have to do this shit, he has to wonder. It's giving him a dull headache.

The problem that's getting him:

What is the integral of the function f(x) = sin 2x?

He wants to slam his head onto the surface of his desk until he's just a mound of bloody, pulpy meat. He's better with English literature, surprisingly enough. Even if the words move a little bit, it's better than whatever garbage he's looking at now. It's like the problem knows he doesn't understand. It's like it has teeth, gaining and baring and wanting to chop off his fingers. It's like—

Something taps on the corner of his desk.

Looking up from his paper, agitated and exhausted, he finds the eraser end of Eddie's pencil clacking against the wood of his desk. Growling, he asks, "What the hell do you want, Munson?" Adding, huffed and close to giving up, "I'm trying to do my homework."

Eddie just grins at him. "I know, dude," he snarks. "We're in Mr. Nelson's class together, remember? I've got the answers, if you want them."

Steve rolls his eyes. "Yeah, right," he mutters. "Like you'd know. I know for a fact that you have an F in calc, why should I trust that you actually have the right answer?"

"Oh, that's simple," Eddie chirps. "I know my shit. Just don't turn in my assignments. You know—" He gestures vaguely at his head. "—I got that new diagnosis, ADHD. The thing that sort of makes you forgetful, or whatever? I know it, I'm just...Not on the money with turning it in on time."

"ADHD?" Steve can't help but asks, somewhat suspicious. "What does that even mean? Are you just making that up? There's no way—"

"Look," Eddie interrupts, voice short and firm, "do you want help on your homework or do you want me to explain shit that I know you won't retain? Because I could sit here and describe the whole thing, get you bored and distracted, and send you off on your way even more dumb and lost than when you entered in here. Or...I could tell you the answers and make you look better in front of Mr. Nelson and your basketball team."

Steve huffs. "I'm not stupid," he argues, voice weak. "And besides, I'm not on basketball anymore. So..." He sighs, defeated. His eyes fall back to his blank homework assignment. And he can feel his eyes begin to burn from embarrassment. Maybe I am stupid, he thinks, Maybe I'm no better than some super senior. "Can you just show me what to do, without making fun of me? I get that I was a jackass in the past, but this week has been rough. I just need to get through the end of it." He knows that to his own ears that he sounds like a petulant, begging little kid. And knows, too, that it's not a good look on him. His dad doesn't like it. Coach didn't like it. Mr. Nelson and Nancy Wheeler and Tommy Hagan and...Nobody likes it when he sounds like this. When he's a sight for sore eyes, down on his luck, ready to just curl up in a ball and melt into the floor.

He drags a hand quickly over his eyes, trying to wipe away at the wetness barely coating him. Sniffs back whatever emotion is still souring his throat. And keeps his line of sight pointed downwards. “I—Never mind, you probably don’t want to help some jerk. Especially one that just made fun of whatever you…whatever you said. God—“ He chuckles something deeply self-deprecating. “—You were right. Can’t even fucking remember what you just said. Can’t remember how to do math. Can’t remember…My head hurts and I’m tired and this just sucks. I’m sorry, man. I didn’t mean to come off so shitty,” his voice strains, though spits. Guess wiping my eyes did nothing, he notes, watching something wet drip down onto the desk.

“Steve,” he can hear Eddie breathe. “It’s fine, dude. I didn’t take any offense. Nobody knows about my shit, it’s fine. I was just giving you a hard time.” Steve looks up briefly at that. “I don’t even know why, if I’m being honest. You seem like you’re better, but maybe I’m wrong?” Eddie shakes his head. “Just let me see your paper. Act like you’re studying your textbook, I’ll do your assignment.”

“How am I supposed to learn if you do it for me?” Steve asks wetly.

“You’ll learn, I’m sure of it. Just give it here.”

At the end of the detention period, his homework is completely filled out. It looks correct, better than what Steve could ever possibly do. He has to go to the bathroom, stops inside, erases some of the correct math and fills in with his own scratchy handwriting, goes through his whole restroom routine, and returns to his locker.

Only to find another note.

“See? Detention wasn’t that bad, you survived! Now, take a nap at home. Relax. You’ll be alright. Senior year will be a breeze for you, I’m sure of it. -E.M.”

If only mystery person knew that taking roses to Nancy Wheeler leads to weird creatures that eat raw meat, tunnels and fire, and a beaten face.

If only he knew how to lick his own wounds. When he gets to his locker the day after him and Billy fight, he finds one more note.

“Okay, maybe I was wrong about this being a breeze. Meet me in the woods, picnic table, sit and wait for me. Think it’s time I show myself. Get you a friend around here. Someone who’d be willing to kill Hargrove if asked. -E.M.”

-------- Some Notes:

Did you know that ADHD was not an official diagnosis until the 1980s? So it's literally brand new here. Also, gotta get them to have a little bit of rivalry—something akin to a rivalry, at least, before they can be buddies and then lovers and then rivals again. Hehe, I love angst. <3

[matchingbatbites]

I don't want to write a sequel to my 50 First Dates AU because I prefer it to be a standalone, but I keep having thoughts about it so I'm going to share them here.

Eddie and Steve live in a tiny, queer, beach side town, because when Eddie asked Steve where would he live if he could live anywhere, Steve's answer was always the beach. Eddie made sure to find a place where they would be safe to be together, where Steve would be safe to go out alone.

The town knows about Steve and his condition. They don't remember who found out first, but someone did, and when word spread about what Eddie did every day, just for Steve? They rallied behind him, made sure to treat Steve with the utmost respect and care, doing their best to help Eddie give Steve a normal life.

Wayne moved out to the coast with them, he wanted to stay close to Eddie, wanted to make sure his boy had some kind of support system. They open up a little auto shop because the town is sorely lacking a decent mechanic, and it has the added benefit of letting Eddie be off in the mornings.

He always wants to see Steve in the morning, to see how he's doing, how he's taking it that day. He just wants to be there for Steve, can't stomach the idea of leaving him alone to deal with the crushing knowledge of an unknown life for a single morning.

Honestly though, he doesn't need to work. The government hush money was enough to set them up for life, especially since they're still getting a pretty check every month because Steve's memory loss happened due to their negligence. Eddie enjoys having something to do though, having something to get him out of the house, and getting to spend time with Wayne is a bonus on top of it.

On the really good days, Steve goes around the house singing "Is This Love" by Whitesnake, something that never fails to make Eddie cry because that song came out in '88, after Steve's memory failure started. It's the song they danced to at their wedding, and on his good days Steve can sing it word for word as long as Eddie doesn't draw attention to it.

They spend the bad days on the couch, watching movies that Steve has never seen before, that Steve has seen multiple times, that Eddie knows Steve loves, just to make him feel better.

They spend the really bad days in bed, Eddie curled around Steve protectively, only getting up to use the bathroom and for Eddie to bring Steve something to eat, "Just a bite or two, baby, please. For my own peace of mind."

They never have kids of their own, but they spoil everyone else's kids beyond belief. Every summer, their whole family flies in and invades their little town for a week or two, and Eddie loves watching Steve interact with all of the children, especially their god-daughter, Nancy and Robin's little girl.

[possibilistfanfiction]

What are your domestic headcanons for Bea and Ava in your surgeons AU? And how did Ava realise that they are not cis? And how/when did Beatrice realise she wanted top surgery?

these are great questions i will now come up with answers to bc they're mostly vague in my mind before the actual timeline starts! lmfao

a domestic thing -- ava is obviously, like, incredibly gifted at charming people anywhere, at any time, doing anything. i think bea is a little terrified at first when she starts bringing ava to stuff — trivia night, the climbing gym, even just over to mary + shannon's for dinner — that everyone will immediately love ava way more. or, even worse, that bea will suddenly be expected to be the same kind of charming, to love attention in the same way, to laugh as quickly. but it's not like that at all, obviously: everyone is Delighted by ava & also delighted by bea — quietly, in a way that's still comfortable & happy for her. at the climbing gym ava tried adaptive climbing, like, one time & was like 'no ty lol', but he still loves to come & watch. bea is... quite serious, but ava isn't, so in like ten minutes ava's made friends w all of the people bea enjoys climbing with. the next time bea comes to climb, no one expects anything differently from her, but they ask after ava, a few of the boys tease her for having such a cool, hot partner (fondly, & she loves it), they invite ava out with them for beers saturday. i think they open up each other's worlds in different ways but the crux of it is the same. love them! as @princington said 'they're so tangible' & like they rly are

another domestic thing -- bea can't cook. she's abysmal at it, even after cooking classes. she tries to cook for ava One Time & it truly is so inedible ava just kisses her & orders pizza. she can make eggs, barely, & that's about it. ava tells her they're the best eggs, though

last domestic thing -- they're a big slipper household. at first ava thought it was kinda cute that bea was partial to a nice pair of teva slippers (also, of course, had to tease her) but the second ava tries them he's like oh fuck yah, i get it. needless to say, as he justifies bc of his difficult circulation system but rly just for fun, he gets... a Lot of slippers lol. also bea steals all of ava’s beanies. it’s only fair

in the context of this au, i don't think ava's ever rly been sold on being cis lol. even as a little kid before the accident, ava was happy to just play & imagine & sing & dance. their mom never forced them to Be A Girl, & ava didn't mind, really, when they were in the orphanage, but it never felt like it truly fit. not in a dysphoric way, but just that it was limiting. ava's body was confusing, was hard to come to terms with in that it wasn't the same anymore, they couldn't feel all the things they used to love. so when they finally had the opportunity to like go Be Queer, be in community, her world Opened Up in the most beautiful way. ava LOVES the playfulness & expansion of gender & the body, the control she has over not having to fit in a box. the world is so, so big & so, so lovely, & u know ava also HATES colonized ideas of anything lol, so it just makes sense. in undergrad they had some good trans buddies but also like... drag? LOVE. so it's rly fun for ava, especially with good people

hmm i think bea probably wanted top surgery from day 1 of puberty on but didn't realize until late in college. after a lot of reassurance from her friends that she didn't have to be a Trans Man to want to try a binder, she did, & p much that first night she knew bc she just felt so much better, like her body made sense & she could just relax. idk if bea ever rly feels gender euphoria but she does feel a lot of peace & so that's cool. probably she tells cam first, maybe lilith & cam together, that she wants surgery. by that time they're already in med school & also... they both know lol & so they're rly happy for her & they make her lots of snacks & take care of her afterward. lilith keeps her out of the gym for months even tho bea complains that she's bored & will be so out of shape, cam makes a bunch of food frequently. they're a little family & it's a rly joyful, quiet, happy time; she feels very lucky

[vole-mon-amour]

3x10, a mix of everything, part 1

didn't expect it to happen that fast but HELL YEAH. there's nothing for Nathan to do next to Rupert. Rupert keeps switching his lovers like socks while his wife is still at home with their daughter. come on!! villain arc for Bex and Rebecca when? when is Rupert gonna get killed die and leave Bex all the money??? and then Bex and Rebecca become best friends and raise a daughter together?

Trent being the heart of the team? do you remember how it all started and how wary everyone was of him? do you? it warms my heart, but it warms it twice bc of the clear bond we see between Colin and Trent. like, older queer with younger queer, helping each other out and bonding. their friendship does things to me tbh. it's so very important and intimate and—

in other words, representation matters.

yaaay! also, Trent <3333 again, this warms my heart.

sometimes I really have no idea what this season is doing. i miss them being a dramedy, not a full on sitcom. i'm enjoying this season, but sometimes it's borderline too much. it's out of nowhere and it's not necessary at all.

besties unlocked <3 Trent is such a sunshine, I love him. the way he and Ted share a raised eyebrows look. there is something so wonderful happening between Ted and Trent from the moment they met. it's like they're connected and are being drawn to each other.

girl talk, especially when it involves middle aged men <3 Rebecca as their leader is really something. i love it.

I think Rebecca is being mean to the actual devil. also, why do iphone users love their matte screen cover? why not the regular one?

Trent is so in love with Ted, my goodness. that cute smile. Ted is so freaking oblivious, I need the show to do something about it. i need Ted to learn Trent is in love with him.

this is such a nice shot. something something, the idea of press taking pics of Nate's gf leaving. which at first I thought was kind of nice, but then she leaves with a suitcase and it looks like a breakup of some sort, so not that nice. hm. still, the shot is pretty.

this is such a nice look & I like her hair a lot, but my GOD, how do people wear those minies? it's beyond good and evil for me. shorts i can kinda understand, but skirts? that's... yeah, no.

there you go Jack's "me and Keeley are dating" without asking Keeley first if she wants to announce it and then Jack totally ghosting Keeley. *frustrated high pitched growl* I hate that plotline. if it's their way to push Keeley back towards Roy bc she will no longer be that busy so Roy can't come up with that excuse again, that's a very shitty thing to do. so far I don't see the bigger picture of this. they've been messing up Keeley's storyline this season just like that.

"the board" oh, fuck you, Jack. (in Grace Le Domas' voice) fucking rich people.

Dani crushing Van Damme's chips is such a dick move, ESPECIALLY since you're trashing the airplane!! you're not the one who's gonna have to clean it up, you asshole.

can somebody connect this parallel for me pls? it's just within my reach but it slips away.

sooo, Beard isn't getting out of a toxic relationship? gotta say, this plotline concerns me. idk where they're going with it and WHY in the first place. Beard deserves better & Jane needs some serious therapy.

#fired immediately

I'm here for Rebecca standing up for herself against Rupert. I hate that asshole so much.

I don't remember, have we seen Roy's sister before? it's so rare.

go fuck yourself. yes, i'm quick to jump to conclusions and violence.

Leslie is NOT having a good tea time this season. let him enjoy his tea 2k23! however, the fact that he knows every friend Rebecca has. some friendship between him and Rebecca developed along the way since s1.

[destinygoldenstar]

☀️It’s Time For DRAMA☀️ - Total Drama Viewer Reacts to Disventure Camp Season 1 Episode 1 “Meet Me In Tipiskaw”

"Ah shit, here we go again..."

So I did a poll awhile back asking if I should watch Disventure Camp, an indie animated show based off Total Drama. And you guys said it was a GREAT idea...

...SO NATURALLY I'M WATCHING IT.

I think it's also a good timing because the finale of Season 3 hasn't been released yet at the time of this post.

From my research of understanding, there's a 'beta' of Season 1 back when it was a Total Drama fanfiction. Then they made Season 2, and then went back and remade Season 1. And Season 3 goes off of the remake of Season 1's logic and canon. So I'm watching the remake of Season 1, so you're aware which version I am doing.

I'm also aware they have these episodes in Spanish as well. I'm an English speaker, so I'm watching the English version. That might enrage some people, but I want to make that clear.

What I am expecting going in; I'm expecting the setup for this show to be similar to Total Drama. With it being a Survivor parody. I'm also expecting the quality to not be as strong as TD, just because one is an indie production and another is not. I'm a producer and I know the setbacks that come with indie works. It's not gonna dock points from me.

I don't know anything about the cast. This is blind.

I felt bad when I didn't do reactions of the 2023 reboot of Total Drama. I liked the reboot, up until the last act of the second season. If you want my thoughts on it. I made a post whining about that last act. I admit I've gotten a bit softer on it, but I still think it's a weak ending.

So with this, I wanted to actually post my reactions so I can get more into it and write down my thoughts like a diary.

I'm sure this won't backfire in any way with people spoiling...

(THESE ARE ALL SCREENSHOTS FROM ODDNATIONS DISVENTURE CAMP. PLEASE SUPPORT THE OFFICIAL RELEASE)

So... yeah. Here's my first time reaction to Disventure Camp Season 1, Episode 1.

Oh, and we start the episode with an ad. How wonderful...

What's worse than one Chris McLean?

TWO Chris McLeans. Dear god...

(I put subtitles on)

"I'm Trevor McGregor, and this is my hosting partner, Derek Johnson."

"We will do our best to make sure that all our competitors have the worst experience possible."

Okay, so is there a fair one and a sociopathic one?

I feel like there's a twist here and it's swapped at some point.

*listens to the game explanation*

Hang on, hang on...

Who voices these two? Why do I feel like I heard these voices before...

Okay, INRTO!!

They had the same cut tape that Total Drama had, that's cool.

Alright, lets see here.

We got a rich guy who looks like he's been dumped out here and would complain about dirt. And we got a girl scout character.

Plot twist, the dude makes it farther than her.

Ninja dude. And... other dude.

...when was this released?

Four months after the TD Reboot.

Well this is a remake of a beta, so... yeah. Total Drama said "We're gonna add queer characters to the cast. FIRST queer characters." And this show said "Am I a joke to you?"

I'm gonna call it though, that's gonna go horribly wrong. You date a ninja, you're ASKING for pain. I've watched Ninjago.

That boy has my thoughts exactly!

WAIT, THEY'RE NOT ALL THE SAME AGE. OMG.

Dang, this sixteen year old looks seventy.

She also looks like the cranky old lady. "My age don't define my level of badass!"

That other dude looks like a whitewashed Noah.

Oh you two look sweet, I'm gonna like you two.

THERE'S A CHILD?!?!

Who tf dropped off their KID in the woods?! WTF?!

DJ's brother. And a COWGIRL?!

I'm surprised Total Drama doesn't really have a cowboy/girl. Unless I'm remembering wrong.

(Or maybe I don't want to remember Pahketiew Island)

Oh I didn't even see you... you're wearing a swimsuit.

Oh. You're Heather's cousin. Okay.

"We're here. Everyone off."

Why is the thug Scottish?

Okay names... uh...

Yeah I'm gonna be bad at remembering all of that.

There's someone named Gabby here??? (Someone in my family is named Gabby, so that's awkward.)

Purple Team? No fancy names, huh? Where's the Ferocious Trout's and Frogs of Death?

"I'm Lill. National Girl Scout Troup Leader."

Oh, she IS a scout. I called it!

Okay, you know a writing pet peeve I have? It's when two characters in the same media share a name VERY similar to each other. Unless they're twins, I don't like it when they do that. It makes things hard to pronounce and you can never understand who you're referring to.

There's a guy named Will here. And a woman named Lill. That's way too similar. W and L sound a lot more similar when speaking than you think. Why? Why did you do this? Why not name her Lilly? That's easier. Or the other way around, name the guy Wally or something.

I'm sorry. Pet Peeve is getting to me. I'm calling her Lilly. You're not stopping me.

"You're currently looking at the future winner of this season."

"I know perfectly well how to play with the minds of these losers."

"I once won a beauty pageant because the other contestants got mysteriously sick."

?!

Okay QUEEN, maybe wait a few days before you decide to SLAY, okay? 💅

Straight to the point. She's a prick. I'm down to stan a prick. I watch Total Drama, plenty of prick ladies that slay.

"There are no cabins!"

Oh don't remind me of Pahketiew!

...actually, I like this idea. I also think this and the confessional styles are more accurate to Survivor. Am I right on that? I've only seen a couple of out of context clips of the show, admittedly.

"A tent, a machete, and a pot."

Then what's that sword? Didn't mention that on your supply list. Is that contraband?

So no food either? Dang, we're really going there and starving everyone to death.

(I would SUCK as a Survivor player)

"There will, however, be a way to get extra supplies by winning the challenges."

You gotta EARN your McDonalds order.

Or Chef slop depending on your craving.

Alright, red sweater likes all this. You know what, I'm all for optimists.

"Could someone take my suitcase? I'll pay whatever."

You were DEFINATELY dumped here against your consent.

"Why are you dressed like that?"

I'M A NINJA. I DON'T FEEL HEAT.

"Actually, I can't get that much sun exposure."

Oh he DOES talk. Okay. I was thinking a different kind of ninja for a second.

I can't get over that there's a CHILD here.

WHO DUMPED YOU IN THE WOODS?!?! WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS?!?!

"My parents are a little short on money so they agreed to send me here in exchange for payment."

That might be more f****d up than anything I've seen on Total Drama.

Yes? Child services? I'd like to report something.

Wouldn't it be funny if they ditched her cause she's a demon child?

It's still wrong on their end. But it would be funny if this little girl had a foul mouth and didn't know what love was. (Cause she never received it from her parents)

...so what's his name is the real ninja. Got it.

They couldn't afford a VA, I imagine. That or no one auditioned that stayed.

"I'd like to know who picked the teams and why mine got stuck with the old lady, a child, and four guys who looked like they've never seen sunlight."

Alright, I'm gonna like this character.

Not because she's a nice person though. I'm just down to stan a bad bitch and she's giving me that energy.

"Do you know how many animals had to die for that?!"

Well I know my GF would like you.

"If you don't care for animal's lives, I might not care for yours."

OKAY KAREN, CALM DOWN.

"Sometimes I get a little upset, but it's something I couldn't control, so I prefer to see the positive side of things."

Uuuhhh... are you bipolar? That would explain a lot.

"How come you're so good at this?"

"I watched a survival show."

What are your sources? I watched a movie once. Same energy of a response.

"It's just a book about surviving in isolated places."

Okay Noah wasn't whitewashed. He's right here. This takes place twenty years in the future of Total Drama.

"I haven't been out of the house that much."

CALLED IT.

"My parents... they're kind of overprotective."

"A couple of weeks ago I had an argument with them and I left."

I fear that every day. No one likes arguing with their parents.

I like this setup for a character.

"An animal attacking us?! We do not find any food and starve to death?! A forest fire wiping us all out?!"

Oh he's just like me fr

"I know it may be a little early for this..."

"How about we make an alliance?"

"Sure. We can protect ourselves and get the four of us to the Merge."

Ooooohh. We have an alliance ALREADY?!

They might lose like 1-2 of their members, but that's a good idea. Start your alliances early. It'll help you in the long game.

"Right now, you're gonna vote one person off each team."

Wait, what? THE GAME JUST STARTED, WTF?!

This has to be a psyche. There's NO WAY.

"Gabby from the purple team and Fiore from the teal team."

This is a psyche.

You shouldn't have threatened anyone.

What did Fiore do?! Sorry for being a child!

*Team Swap*

Oh thank god, it was a psyche.

"No one will be eliminated today. Only this time you will play for a reward."

So no one's going home today. Cool.

*Patreons*

Oh, there's a patreon shoutout.

I definitely respect these content creators, I will say that much. Presentation is a lot better than I thought it was gonna be.

"I understand why they hate your personality so much, but you know, I can tolerate you."

"Really? Would you be my friend?"

"No, but we can be allies."

Hey, at least she's honest. That's a trait you don't see very often on these shows.

I don't hate Gabby's personality btw. I'm leaning more towards the opposite, especially after what happened to her. Learning everyone hates you right off the bat sucks.

"On the other team they were very rude to me."

They pretty much ignored you, what are you talking about?

"How old are you?"

"I'm 6"

DEAR GOD.

YES. CHILD SERVICES. I'D LIKE TO REPORT SOMETHING.

You can't fight a ninja!!

Idk where he got a trash can lid from. As proof that this man is, indeed, a ninja.

"Will! Go call the others!"

Um, excuse me, I'm CONCUSSED.

"Ouch. I cannot see anything."

...okay, I haven't complained about the voice acting cause it's been quite good for the most part. But that line delivery? Uh uh.

OMG Miriam 😂

Gabby's too much like me here, I'm gonna be honest.

Oh, you little...

Don't underestimate children.

I didn't even realize he had the wrong flag. That's impressive.

"Alec gave it to me."

Oh... but she still kept it hidden. So she still deserves some credit.

"I'm a little scared of the dark."

Is your whole character being a coward?

"Why did you give me the credit for that flag thing?"

Oh wait, that was a lie?

"I prefer to go unnoticed."

That's actually smart. She's a child, and children are "stupid". So she doesn't pose a threat to anyone in Tribal Councils.

"These assholes are really buying into the story that I'm a helpless little girl."

FOUL. MOUTHED. CHILD. LET'S. F*****G. GO!

DEMON CHILD. WHAT DID I SAY?!?!

Oh, the Scottish guy is a criminal. Never would've guessed. /s

They also shoutout patreons at the end with the animation. That's actually a cool extra mile they didn't need to do.

Wait, I wanna see who voiced the host characters. Cause I swear I heard both voices before.

Steven Gordon & Silly Billy.

Yeah I definitely heard those voices before.

Well, kudos to everyone in these credits that worked on this show. Credit has gotta be due.

Presentation wise, that was way better than I thought. I didn't think it was gonna be good quality at all. That animation looked so close to Total Drama and was very smooth!

I also may or may not like the designs better than the TD Reboot designs. Just because there's more character in each of them.

I love the idea of the cast not all being the same age. It's a lot more variety to character backgrounds. I don't hate the teenagers TD used or anything. This is just another approach and idea.

Character opinions: (I looked back to get the names down)

Dan, Ellie, Jake, and Miriam... eh? They didn't do anything this episode. Nothing to say.

All Alec really did was be involved in that lie for Fiore. Maybe he's her first target and he's an early boot and that's why she picked him.

Fiore is a demon child and I am so here for it. Like yeah, maybe her parents actually did dump her here cause they don't like her. That does explain her behavior. But she's also like "Well f**k it, I'll roll with it. I'm here to win a million bucks and crush some adults. Easy peasy."

Tom... NINJA.

No, but seriously, it's not subtle he's hiding stuff. But it could end up being something really minor like he hates his appearance or something and wants to be seen as the cool guy.

Grett, she's a bad bitch. She's not a good person. But you know what? After watching Total Drama and suffering through such nasty characters making it far in the game, I have embraced it. So yeah, QUEEN. SLAY. 💅

Gabby... I think there's some depth to her, and I THINK I like her, but she has some faults like a temper and talking too much. (She's just like me fr) She might climb up for me later. Depends on how long she's in the game.

The Ashley, Lilly, Nick, & Will alliance... I like their strategy here. Forming an alliance as early as possible is a good idea. Heather did the same thing and it worked in her favor. I don't think they're all merging though. I think Fiore is gonna target 1-2 of them and get them eliminated. My guess would probably be Lilly being one of them just because she seems very competent at the game she could be a threat.

But like I said, I think she may target Alec first cause she pinned the flag thing on him.

Nick, I like his story and his reason to be here. Like I said, I think he's outlasting Lilly for sure and getting development.

Will... he's fine, but his only trait so far seems to be 'I'm anxiety'. So there's another Fiore target if the alliance break pre-merge is two.

And Ashley... I like her, just cause she's a cowgirl, but I think there could be more personality from her later. And she seems like one of the nicer people here.

So... yeah. If you guys want me to continue these reactions, be sure to let me know. I'm willing to continue this show.

[whumpbug]

Hi Bug! I wanted to ask about Sylvia. Specifically, what does she think of queerness?

You've mentioned that she's very religious (not that that necessarily means she has to be anti-lgbtq+ but it is common) but you've also mentioned that she'd pretty much be okay with anything Gene wanted to be or do. When she was alive, did she spare any thought for the kind of person Gene might fall in love with? If she was alive at the current point in the story and knew he was in love with Cassidy, how would she feel about that? (And not just because of the queerness aspect! What would she think of Cassidy in general?? Is he good enough for Gene???)

OOOUH THIS IS SUCH A GOOD QUESTION ANON UGHH

slightly long post incoming because i got sidetracked.. (≧▽≦) i touch on sylvia's ideals, gene's ex girlfriend (ooouh) and what sylvia would think of cassidy

✮⋆˙

okay so. while it is true that sylvia was religious, it was honestly more of a cultural thing (since she grew up in the south) than a personal thing if that makes sense

more than she was religious, she believed in kindess and love. that was why she never ever judged or faulted gene for being the way he was as a child. she loved how soft he was

she grew up around extremely homphobic ideals though, and part of why i love her as a character is because she was always so stubborn, even when it came to defying her family. the sad truth is if her father (gene's grandpa) knew how gene was being treated by clint, he wouldn't have too much of an issue with it. he'd proably agree with it, but sylvia was never one to not voice her opinions.

when it came to gene as a whole, the most important thing to her was that he lived a happy, long, and safe life. she would have been heartbroken to see how her death affected him but thats a topic for a different time.

when it came to who gene married, she did try to set him up with a friend's daughter. the girl was named vanessa, but everyone called her birdie (also a topic for a different time), and her and gene were childhood friends (she's the one who gave gene the name idea for calliope! they're still good friends!) . sylvia died before she ever saw gene and birdie begin to date, and then break up 7 months later when gene proposed to her. gene is kind of a disaster when it came to dating women. there was more to their breakup than that.

BUT I DIGRESS. all this is to say that sylvia did want gene to find love someday. despite her and clint's arguments, she did fall in love with him and she hoped for gene to experience that same early stage love that she did. i truly don't believe she would have cared if gene found that love in a man.

and now for if she was alive in the current time and met cassidy. i think her problem with cassidy would come less from the fact that he's a man and more from the fact that he's an outlaw that kills people and robs for a living, she would think its vulgar and dangerous and that cassidy should be locked away.

but then she sees the way gene looks at cassidy.

and its over. how can she argue with that? how can she say anything when her son is looking at cassidy like he'd the most precious thing in the world?

her opinion of cassidy also greatly changes when she hears about what kind of people he kills and what he does with the money he steals. and then, of course, it changes when she finds out about cassidy's past and montana. she starts to feel a bit protective of cassidy. once she sees how sweetly cassidy treats gene, shes sold. cassidy is a part of the family.

all sylvia has ever wanted for gene was for him to be free and happy and to be himself. when she sees that he's able to do that with cassidy, all reservations of gender or profession fizzle out. her son is happy and that's all that matters.

✮⋆˙

hope this answered your question! it got a little convoluted because i have so many Thoughts. sylvia is so special to me. UGH i love her. thank you for the question anon!!

[brilla-brilla-estrellita]

SnowBaz Tea: SSCoNE 2024

As part of our 2024 event, we had a tea party at The Bookworm in Omaha. I was tasked with deciding which teas we would be having. And by "tasked with," I mean I took this task on myself without asking despite the fact that @shrekgogurt was in charge of food. But at least it was still related to an activity, which I was in charge of, right?

Anyway, I, along LavenderSprinkles and RynMar (neither on tumblr, but both on AO3), spent a lot of time looking at different teas for the best SnowBazzy options to have at our tea party. We had to narrow it down to 3, but I found so many good options, I didn't want them to go to waste! And I didn't get a chance to talk much about the ones I did decided on, either.

For now, I'll just discuss the teas we did choose. The tea house all of these blends come from is my absolute favorite: Friday Afternoon Tea (Whoa, I just discovered they're on tumblr! Hi @friday-tea!). It is a queer latine owned and operated small business that specializes in creating blends inspired by your favorite fandoms. It has been called "The Gayest Tea Shop on the West Coast" by Cosmopolitan Magazine: a title that the owner and employees proudly carry. No, they don't pay me for this. I just really freaking love their tea and the community they strive to create. So who else would I go to for our SnowBaz tea party?

French Cookie

Ingredients: Black tea, almond, orange peel (replaced with lemon peel to avoid an allergy in the group), natural vanilla and almond flavoring

Fandom Blend? No, house blend

Representing: Simon

This tea can actually come as a black tea, a rooibos, or an oolong. I had originally planned for rooibos to make sure we had a decaf option, but once I found Small Lady, I went back to our tried and true favorite black tea base.

This is one has been a long time coming. Back when I first read the series, LavenderSprinkles and I spent all of our free time thinking about the characters. At one point I asked her, "If Simon were a tea, what tea would he be?" She immediately answered "almond rooibos." (Though in my opinion, it's a better fit for what Simon would actually drink than what Simon would be. Either way, it's Simony). It wasn't until planning for SSCoNE that I realized (and she confirmed) that she was specifically thinking about French Cookie. Since the original discussion, LavenderSprinkles has started getting the black tea version for iced tea in the summer, and it's delicious, so we knew it would work great for the tea party. I think I'll have to go back and try the rooibos version again, though!

Derpy Hooves

Ingredients: Black tea, white tea, marigold, natural vegan cream flavoring, bergamot oil

Fandom Blend? My Little Pony

Representing: Baz

I knew I wanted a floral tea for Baz, and Derpy Hooves delivered! I hadn't had it before and it was so good, at least for a floral tea lover like myself. And bergamot oil? Obviously.

I had no idea what fandom this was from when I picked it. Once I realized it was My Little Pony, I just about died. My first thought was "Baz would be horrified!" After a moment, though, I decided that Baz would secretly know all about MLP becuase of his sisters. Ever since I started thinking about what the crew would wear to see Barbie (omg, a whole year ago???), I've had a headcanon that Petra is a total horse girl.

There were sooo many good Baz teas, but a lot of them were very... unusual. For the tea party, we figured a tea that would be appealing to lots of people would be the better choice, so I picked a more moderate flavor profile, but I am very excited to talk about some of the other ones I found in a future post!

Small Lady

Ingredients: Rooibos, sour cherry, strawberry, pink peppercorn, sugar star sprinkles (removed because of potential soy allergen), pink lustre dust, natural black cherry flavoring, bergamot oil

Fandom Blend? Sailor Moon

Representing: A Lady Ruth Tea Party

I mean. Sour cherry and bergamot oil alone are Simon and Baz. Add in the pink, the glitter, the black cherry, the strawberry, the sprinkles and tell me you don't have a Lady Ruth creation on your hands. And yes, I said glitter! Unfortunatley this didn't come through at the tea party. I think the tea bags I put the loose leaf in didn't allow for the glitter to escape. But I promise you it's adorable and that glitter makes it through all but the finest grained teabags and steepers. When I brew it at home, it is sparkling.

This was the most commented-on tea at the party (in a good way), and it makes sense! It's fun and fruity and light and can be as gay as it wants. It can even be extra gay, as a treat! (Seriously, you could order this and ask them to add glitter of every color or rainbow sprinkles or something.) (They might charge extra if you get really wild -- I'm not sure.)

Bonus Tea: AO3

Ingredients: Oolong tea, aloe vera, orange peel, osmanthus, natural orange flavoring, natural cream aroma

Fandom Blend? General fandom

Representing: All of us weirdos

We ended up not getting this one for the tea party because it's so orange heavy (an allergen for some), and taking out or substituting the orange would just not be the same. But when I tell you I squealed when they revealed this blend for the first time! Unfortunately, I forgot to get some before it went out of seasons, so I will eagerly await its return next year.

That's all for now. I will have at least one more post with some of the runner up teas, but I have a feeling this might become a series with how many teas are in the (always growing) Friday Afternoon Tea catalogue alone.

[onippep]

Is it fine to talk about certain scars now?

................. Which ones. Guessing, for thematic sake, you mean these?

[gestures to his top scars]

I, uh, guess so. Pfft.

So, a little recap-- born in Italy, moved over here when I was 16. Shit happened at 19. Came back when I was 24.

[TW FOR MENTIONS OF CHILD ABUSE, WAR, GENERAL UNPLEASANT QUEER EXPERIENCE STUFF, TRANSPHOBIA + HOMOPHOBIA]

We lived in a super-rural area when I was a kid, so I had no idea what all of that was about. I'd find myself doing things that boys would do and I'd get slapped around for it, or never really liking girls. All my friends were boys. I had a lot of body hair for my age. It was weird to my family.

I got a taste of big-town culture from my cousins and uncles and aunts; they're eccentric, and I'm pretty sure one of my aunts was gay (she never married). I got along with her pretty well, but god, my madre hated her, pretty sure. Haven't seen her in a long time.

Bottom line, I was the "weird kid" of the family, so my parents figured (Also as Italians) to give me a brother and sister, see if they could socialize me properly. Maybe they fucked up the first time. Worth a shot, right?

While my madre was pregnant with my brother, we moved here. Maybe city life would do me good. I was thrust into a highschool barely knowing any English, and naturally flocked to the outcasts and socially awkward weirdos that would get tossed around by bullies and such. It was brutal. I met a girl that disguised herself as a boy and went by a boy's name. I met a boy that had a crush on one of the bigger boys of the school. It was a bunch of new experiences that... for some reason, even with my upbringing, didn't feel foreign or weird. It suddenly aligned with me, and I didn't really think about it until I looked in the mirror one day and wanted to throw up at how I looked. I tried dating a girl I got along with. Being a teenager sucks. That shit hits you like a truck and bleeds like an open wound that you have no idea how to stop.

Not that I had the time to find a way. I did bad in school, got held back a few years, and within that time aggressively took my identity into my own hands-- I'm not who my parents thought I was, I hated my name, I hated them, I hated everything. I got quiet. I hated myself because I wasn't the easy, good-grade getting child that was born loving the body it was in.

One day, my dad gets me alone. He asked me what I wanted to do after High School. I said art. He asked me again. I said art. He said that was the wrong answer. I asked him what he wanted me to say instead.

"If you really don't believe you're a girl, then it's time to be a man."

I thought this had good intentions until I was at the front door of bootcamp with some fresh scars on my chest, a few years of testosterone, and...

[sighs]

...

Uh, what was I-- right.

Right, yeah, I was pretty much fully out a few years after I was... discharged. I had a fling with Anton. A few women. Some men. Tried the bisexual label for a bit but found out I was just a full-on homosexual.

...Did I get the surgery before or-- no, I think I...

[blanks out for a few minutes]

...[scratches his head] I-- sorry, I think I got something mixed up. I think I got top surgery after 'all of that'. Shit's scrambled in here.

...

...Right-- I was a fully out transsexual gay man by... I think I was 35? It wasn't a huge focus of mine though since I wanted to try and start my own business. My family knew hard they fucked up with me so they kept their distance-- I let them know how much they failed me (after many years of thinking I was the screwup). Eventually they started using my new name. It was sudden, and there were no apologies.

I couldn't get my art degree, sssooo... Peppino's Pizza it is. Yippee.

Met Gus a year or so after I opened it, connected with a few of the Italian community on the outskirts of the city, uh... then I...

[pauses again]

--Sorry, this, uh, wasn't a really happy story, but I just. Wanted to say that it was worth keeping myself alive to see myself big, fat, hairy, balding, and smiling in the body I've got now. And happy with the men I've decided to let into my life to love me and this body. It's...

It's something. Better than nothing. I understand that now.

[firendgold]

Ok so bc anything i do in this fandon is specifically to piss that woman off, i gotta ask:

Do you have any ideas for fic scenarios for trans!albus and/or trans!Harry? (time travel harrydore or not, you pick)

so funny story anon, my instinctual answer for this question was "no, I've never thought about it, sorry"—but as I was writing that reply a while back, I actually started getting ideas. It was wild. (That's also why this took so long to get out, sorry!)

trans!Albus is easier for me to imagine for some reason. I had this idea where his entire early life could be rewritten just to do a deep dive into the Dumbledore family dynamics when the firstborn prodigy half-blood son is AFAB instead. How that might change Percival's actions on Ariana's behalf (or not), if he doesn't have any thoughts in the back of his mind about leaving his family in his "eldest son's" hands. How that could change the rivalry between Albus and Aberforth, who might not be super tolerant of an uppity older sister who's also queer. We still don't know much about Kendra somehow, after 1 billion years of Pottermore, but whether or not she's accepting of Albus' gender identity and sexuality could be their own spin-off fanfics, they're that fascinating. Her own Native history could then be touched on as well.

All these things together could be a point of personal conflict for Albus, who's already a living embodiment of a taboo Native/European union and might have to wrestle with what's accepted from him as a Good and Proper Woman of English society re: marriage and carrying on some (other) pureblood's line, along with protecting Ariana's secret and "making up" for his father's crimes.

I don't know if Albus' sexuality changes. If it doesn't, I can see him being briefly confused about What Elphias Is To Him when he gets older, and Elphias is getting his own messages from home about How Much Time He's Spending With That Dumbledore Girl. I imagine there would be a lot of conversations between Albus and Kendra, and Albus and other peers, about who he was going to marry and what his "prospects" were since his father's a known criminal. And Albus, beyond not identifying as a girl at all, would find all this discussion about such trivial sexist matters frustrating as hell.

Unfortunately, I see everyone at Hogwarts misgendering Albus while he's a student, or pretty much everyone. Like, he eventually tells Elphias who accepts right away (and is confused about What That Means for Him in private), and maybe a few other students, but none of his professors are Getting It. His stellar academic record probably keeps him from being bullied as much, but doesn't entirely protect him from rampant transmisogyny and slurs when he outperforms people.

But regardless, assuming the "major beats" of history play out the same way, I can see Albus being a lot more proactive re: marginalized rights than he already was in canon, and perhaps moving the overall British Society Needle way further to the left, because it's one thing to talk shit about the powerful, progressive, weird old man that no one really knows is gay but can kick your arse without breathing hard, but another thing entirely to talk shit about your trans, out and proud, progressive Supreme Mugwump who has already freed all the elves, speaks all the magical creature/Being languages, is raising your kids at school better than you are at home, AND is still gay and can still kick your arse without breathing hard.

This is all, of course, imagining that Albus is AFAB and identifies as male. If it's the other way around and Albus is AMAB and identifies as female... I can't even imagine. I'm not cool enough ig

As for Harry, it's weird but I don't have any trans headcanons for him during his Hogwarts years. It's kind of similar to how I don't read many genderbent!Harry fics unless I adore the author, because even though I'm a girl I can't imagine Harry IDing as one for some reason. (I'm very limited, I know.) BUT. For some reason this changes when you bring in time travel harrydore.

With the ship as the parameter, I can imagine an AFAB Harry who's spent his whole life chafing at the clothes Aunt Petunia gets him—because 'unfortunately' (for her), even pre-puberty, she can't just give Harry Dudley's cast-offs unless she wants The Neighbors to start lifting eyebrows and asking questions—because they're girl clothes and along with just not fitting in to the Pristine Pretentious Family with her messy hair and tight clothes and taped-up glasses, Harry has never felt like a girl. He insisted on having people call him 'Harry' as soon as he could talk and get away with it, and only has to hear his deadname from his teachers and with the Dursleys.

This all of course changes once McGonagall is reading names on the Sorting List in 1991 and just barely doesn't stumble over Harry's preferred name being on the list instead. (She is surprised only because Harry is famous. By the time Harry goes to school, there have been many other out trans students in this headcanon. But probably very few under her eye have been quite this famous.)

I've always personally headcanoned Harry as bisexual, but I don't know if that would be the case in this particular headcanon. I can still see him going after Cho, and perhaps even Ginny. I can see him having the same confusion about What Are Ron and I To Each Other that a trans!Albus had about Elphias a century ago, without ever living his Hogwarts life as a girl to anyone but his enemies (and having a lot of friction with canon!Hermione and/or Lavender as a result). I can see Draco hating Harry even more, because he always kept "her" in the back of his mind as a Dark Lady he could serve under in all ways, only to have this... boy being his rival and Quidditch better and wanting absolutely nothing to do with the Malfoys or purebloods or knowing her place.

A thought that sticks in the back of my mind is that JKR (otherwise known by me as That Woman (derogatory)) specifically wrote Harry as a boy for a lot of reasons, and the main one being that she always planned for him to live and pass on his line in the "traditional" way, and having her titular character be a girlboss would've derailed that status quo. In a universe where Harry is AFAB, I can imagine a lot of related conversations with and around Harry about this. How "she" is "the last Potter" that there will ever be, because naturally she'll marry into one of the families and the name will be lost forever. I can see this being a real bone of contention with Harry and radicalizing him, along with Voldemort and the discrimination against werewolves and house-elves and centaurs and veela (which I doubt even one dedicated Dumbledore would be able to get rid of), making him take his place as the next generation leftist magical powerhouse.

And so how does all that change his relationship with Dumbledore? I... don't really see it changing much. If both characters are trans, that's another point of connection for them that bonds them through all the mess the government and society puts them through. It makes Albus a figure for Harry to admire as a young boy ("look, the most powerful wizard in the world is just like me!") and to still anguish about as a young man ("all the choices he made that I don't agree with, all the secrets he kept from me, how do I know I won't make the same mistakes or make no better progress than he did?"). Their relationship could be all the more painful or distant if one of them is out and one is in the closet, like an Albus who never came out or transitioned and is seeing in Harry the upright boy he could have been, or if Harry is resentful of Albus living his truth because he, a knobbly-kneed adolescent girl, doesn't have the power, freedom, or influence to be who he truly wants to be.

But focus! I'm focusing! Time travel Harrydore. The specific scenario I was imagining was one where AFAB Harry never comes out to the general public. His loved ones who are his peers know, but all the adults in his life (yes, including Remus and Sirius) never get to meet him properly. They die thinking of him as "James' daughter". And after defeating Voldemort, Harry just can't take the idea of spending any more time not being the person he wants to be. He's done being the Girl-Who-Lived so he writes goodbye letters to Ron and Hermione and does some ancient ritual without anyone knowing, and instead of changing him at the molecular level it flings him back to the past.

And so unlike a lot of time travel fics (including mine lol) where Harry is grieving his true time and desperate to get back home, this Harry misses his friends terribly, but it doesn't take long for him to see being an unknown in a different time as a golden opportunity. Sure, it would have been better if he'd been flung into the future instead and maybe had more tolerant people instead of less, but no one knows who he's "supposed" to be here. So he can grow into the man he truly is!

And so while Harry is setting up his new life for himself (maybe as some personal tutor, or a backup Quidditch player, or something that keeps him out of the limelight for once?), he runs into trans!Albus who doesn't have many friends and not much else going on for him (depending on who or where Grindelwald is right then), and Harry's nervous but they hit it off and become close friends, and one thing leads to another, and...

*cackles*

Also also, and sorry for sticking this all the way at the end lol, but MUCH RESPECT for hanging around in HPF just to stick in the craw of That Woman. I think I'm adopting your philosophy for the future. ^^

[royalsy-queen]

Hello! I know you were asking op on that post, but I thought I'd offer the way I've anaylzed it over time and good points I've seen others make for you to see if it helps! I personally think will would be way more ready to bottom by the time he gets with mike. he's known how he feels for so long, and with that acceptance comes considering your preferences - especially as a horny teenager. me personally when I watch the show, nothing about will screams "yes I want to do that to mike", I think he leans towards "I wish mike would do this to me". I know some people like subverted expectations, and some fics explore it and shape that opinion, but I don't give that much weight because I prefer looking at the show! there's nothing wrong if there's an obvious choice yk?

There's also the fact mike for most of his life thought he'd be with a woman - aka giving during intimate times. he'd be more prepared for that and probably even itching/excited for exactly that sensation, which is lucky will is prepared for the opposite! And sure, some would say "well once he realizes he's not sleeping with a girl he'll want to do the opposite role!", no, I think given the time period he'll have a mental hurdle, and that's why will goes hell yeah don't even worry!

to use your words about mike being shaky and nervous - i agree and think that's why he wouldn't bottom at the start, there's more going on with that which is where me saying will is more prepared physically and mentally came from :)

And while he's still nice and soft, but not entirely shy anymore, I dont know if will is a total "take the reins" type either. In fact, I like helping people understand he can actually take the reins with mike's nerves, while receiving! it's easier for him to soothe mike by telling him he's okay. I think it'd be more stressful for mike who's had less time with his sexuality to immediately receive and learn how to prep etc. Op acknowledged in their post that will was bottoming and they had the right idea - mike would be so nervous (both would) but that's why it works with Will trusting him and is so sweet, mike's the perfect gentle boyfriend. Nobody is being babied, and Will doesn't need to prove that he isn't a baby through anyone insisting that he top. Will gets a lot of control over his experiences from the bottom too.

I see them switching eventually like you do, but I think I still see mike preferring to top and will preferring to bottom mostly. I personally dont find the desire to flip everything about mike and will that's established (for eg. mike happily protects will so it must mean it's turn for will to do it for mike etc) which I think people sometimes do in terms of their sexual life too.

actually I think people do that because they get worried they're stereotyping? especially with Will which... your not guys and it's okay even if sometimes it happens. like Will receiving during sex. nothing wrong with a stereotype at all! (Unrelated completely but this is also me sorta hoping people start embracing the fact will is gender non conforming in general one day, it's not stereotyping him when he is visibly gay!)

Sorry I word vomited here, I just enjoy discussing this! hope it wasn't too crazy or that i overstepped! ^-^

Hey! Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I see your points and honestly they make so much sense lmao. I'm pretty sure Will has known about his sexuality for a long time, considering that Lonnie called him a queer when he was a child and Troy, who I'm assuming he's been bullying the party for a long time sadly, always went for their physical appearances, however with Will he always resorted to slurs about being gay. So yeah, Will has known for longer he was gay and Mike is honestly still processing that about himself, Mike would likely be the top most of the time. About Will "taking the reins", I actually meant it the same way you described! Will would be bottom but knowing Mike's probably so nervous he would gently guide him through the whole thing, telling Mike what he likes and what he doesn't, what feels good and reassuring him that he's okay and he can keep going most of the time, because like the headcanon said Mike would be the type to stop every 5 seconds to ask if he should continue lol. About the switch, I think it wouldn't happen until further down in their relationship, Mike always has been top but there's this itching curiosity of what it feels like to be "the girl" and to see a Will a bit more dominant than usual 👀

Personally I have even MORE headcanons about these two that are WAY more explicit, because I am a horny bitch lmaoooo

Thanks for sharing your thought process and don't worry, you didn't overstep anything. I enjoy word vomiting about Byler with people on the internet XD

[flyin-shark]

"Cishet probably". The words of a man who is yet to learn that gender is a circus and clowns can be hot.

Or what I mean is more like.... That's really interesting in a sense, as soneone who is ambiguous/not caring on all levels, I really wanna study the anatomy of the cishet experience. I can't figure it out. Is it like. If you see a person your ability to be attracted to them depends on your current knowledge of their gender? So you could see a person and assume they are a woman, so then you are into them, but then they might turn out not to identify as a woman, and that is a turn-off?

And the other way around, maybe you meet someone and assume they're a guy so it doesn't enter your mind that they could be hot, but then you learn that they are a woman, and then it becomes an option?

I'm really not trying to be offensive so I'm so sorry if I am. I'm just super curious, as a person who was never able to conceptualize gender in myself or others very well. I find attraction complicated as is, and imagining adding the matrix of gender into it is like... Galaxy brain woah h o w ?

Uh. Anyways, good vibes.

(Came to think of it cuz you say you're a top/into bottoms. And like certainly the top/bottom dichotomy transcends gender, but at the same time, I wonder what the "communication" is in there in a cishet context? Does it mean "I don't like getting penetrated by a partner", or is it more about "top energy". And if yes, what is "top energy" in a cishet context?

I really hope I'm not coming across as rude, I'm literally just super curious about people who ID as cishet, so when I run into someone who seems approachable I turn into 12 questions with ....

Also this also is related to the fact that I'm like a dude but in a girl way you feel? Like most people attracted to me are also attached to gnc women, but also if you need to call me 'her' to get off, we probably won't vibe, and as a general rule I do avoid having sex with cishet guys bc if their attraction is somehow contingent on internal misgendering of me, it's awkward. But I'm trying to figure out how that works. )

Sorry I'll stop asking now. I'll get my ND ass under control.

Yes to your first three questions.

So I call myself cishet because first I’m fairly sure that I’m not trans. I feel like a man, whatever that means. I get what I think is a sense of euphoria from doing certain “masculine” things (wearing suits, fixing things, etc.). I don’t like the idea of me wearing a skirt of other typically feminine clothing. I don’t like when people use feminine versions of my name and pronouns that aren’t he/him for me. In all aspects I can think of I’m a man.

As for the hetero part I know I like women. I always have as far as I can remember. I’ve never had attraction to men. Although in the past few years with learning about trans and nb people I’ve had to think more about it. I used to be transphobic in the sense that while I respected pronouns and names I wouldn’t accept that people were their something other than their assigned gender. After learning about the science behind sex and the social dynamics of gender I now fully accept trans and enby peeps. But that means reconsidering what I like about women and don’t like about men.

I’ve seen femboys that I’ve mistaken for women and been attracted to them. After finding out they were boys i was confused but I just wrote it off and didn’t think about it. I saw a lot of enbies that looked more masc or fem and I was attracted to them if I thought they were afab. But then I saw some enbies that were really androgynous and was really confused again. I learned that you can’t tell if someone is a man or woman or other just by looking at them. It’s possible I’m just attracted to femininity and not women specifically. But also women with muscles are hot.

Answering your question about tops and bottoms. After spending time in queer spaces I realized just how boring most cishet relationships are both romantically and sexually. The top, dom, and giver roles, etc are all dumped on the man while the bottom, sub, and receiver roles are all given to the woman. I think most cishets don’t even differentiate between the roles.

My brain still doesn’t comprehend what it’s like to be “a dude in a girl way” or anything similar to that. Like I respect you as a person I just don’t understand how that works. It seems like a contradiction at first but I know boy and girl aren’t opposites.

Sorry for taking so long to respond to this but I wanted to give you some good answers.