#he still feels like its real?? hes legit mourning it???

[hermanunworthy]

never again?

[spe--vedit-ad--astra]

So. It is apparently time for me to sit and type long ass random tumblr posts about feelings. And considering I had some real big feelings this weekend and thought " I should probably journal about this" and then hasn't yet, but I am writing paragraphs about a 30 second thought-feeling that came up while watching tiktok.... maybe I should go ahead and start another post.

So. Read more if you want to hear a ramble about Feelings and realizing that, guess what, even when its been an unchanging fact for a few years, it still hurts like hell to be reminded that your parents hate your identity and only love the idea of you they have in their head.

Tw transphobia, mentions of suicidal thoughts, mentions of death

So. Friends got married this weekend. It was amazing. Loved seeing so many people I know and love, and so honored to be chosen to help some of my best friends celebrate.

It was in the context of mental health being a bit of a roller coaster - the past week being actually really really good, but the weeks / months before that being intermittently more of a struggle. And my feelings / memory / processing of this was impacted by some real big derealization / depersonalization the following day while I was thinking about it. So those combined probably magnified everything

Anyway. I was expected to be emotional - happy tears at seeing people I love be happy.

I was not expected to be emotionally crushed by the parent dance. It's not even like I am planning on getting married anytime soon, but all I could think that I was watching something I would never have - even if the stars align and I end up with a partner who wants to marry me, I can' t imagine a world right now where my parents are part of that day. Unless I pick up a lot of bravery to open the rift that is my transition with my parents; and if I do that, somehow balance the vunerability and the uncertainty with enough boundardies to not become suicidal, and if I manage that, then they actually listen and take the time to see what actually makes me happy; and then do the work to be accepting; and then take the time for it to sink in and them actually celebrate me for who I am --- unless all those steps happen, any big life event won't include family. Or it will be separate

/(aside - it's probably very strange that I've thought in detail about my funeral and what I would want, but I have legit been thinking I should write a letter to friends that if I die, I want them to let my parents bury me and mourn me however they want (which would be birth name / legal sex, etc); and ask my friends to hold a separate service to remember me as my preferred name. I'm not planning on dying. This probably doesn't really belong in this ramble and is just morbid and sad to bring up. But these are the kinds of things I get to have brainspace dedicated to and this is my blog to write about the sucky parts of having transphobic family.)/

Anyway. On a similar note, if I ever get married, I currently can't imagine a world where my parents and relatives and cousins and classmates and friends all intermingle and can celebrate me together. On a similar note, I'm not inviting my parents to residency graduation in a couple months, and I don't even feel I can mention it to them in case they ask why or feel insulted I'm not inviting them. I can still remember exactly how it felt to hear my parents say they weren't sure if they could go to medical school graduation if their daughter wasn't going to be there. I think I might be the only person who was very very sad but also kinda grateful when COVID cancelled graduation because it meant my parents and classmates didn't have a chance to interact.

And I've been thinking recently about opening this can of worms again, and asking my mom if she's thought about gender at all in the past 3-4 years, if she is aware I'm still going by he/him/they/them and my preferred name, if she is aware I am hiding away parts of myself and hiding away my joy in order for them to feel comfortable, asking if she wants to talk about it again, trying to explain things again now that I'm older and feel a little better at setting boundaries and holding my own opinions when someone disagree's with me. But I don't know what will happen. I know it will be uncomfortable, and scary, and it will hurt me and her, and it will make every conversation feel like a landmine again. I don't know how the process will go this time. Will my mom accept that I can think for myself? Will she listen to understand or just to argue? How long will it last? How bad will my depression get this time?Will I be able to stay alive and stay functional and still living my life? And on top of all of that, I don't know what the outcome will be. Will I lose my family completely? Will they accept me? Could they ever celebrate me? Or will we end up right where we started again? .............. I've been meteophorically been staring all of that certain pain with uncertain outcome and trying to think through the why - why would it be worth it?

So..... seeing a peer be surrounded by everyone she loves, all these people from different areas of her life, people that have known her since birth, and knowing that right now, most people I could invite to a celebration for my preferred name met me after age 20, and seeing her dance at her wedding with her parents, knowing that either I will never have that; or that getting to a point where that is possible will take so much work and mean enduring so much pain and uncertainity... it just cut me to my core.

Sometimes I feel like I've recovered from the trauma I went through with my mom trying to convince being trans was harmful and wrong and crazy, and the grief of having to protect my life from her, and the shame of feeling like I have to protect her from my life, and the upheaval of my worldview to accept this new normal.

And them sometimes I am blindsided; sometimes there are times like this when I stumble and fall through the tissue paper that was patching over a gaping hole in my heart.

[astaroth1357]

Demigod MC Series: Demeter

Have I been using this series to vicariously punish Belphie for the events of Season 1? I cannot confirm nor deny that statement.

Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus, Demeter

Lucifer

Didn't think too much of the "human" when they popped out of the portal. Sure they had a straw hat and a huge basket full of produce but it wasn’t like they were… Wait… No… Were they…?

Oh no. Oh nonononono, this is not good…!!

Demeter is notoriously doting and protective of her children (see her freakout and breakdown after Hades abducted of Persephone as proof) and they've pretty much done the EXACT. SAME. THING. here!!

It was a mad scramble by him and Diavolo to contact and appease their godly Mother Bear before she came roaring down to Devildom herself to turn them all into barley. Thankfully, Zeus must have intervened at some point because though she was indeed PISSED, she didn't threaten to barge in… yet.

She made one thing very clear. Bend so much as a single hair on her precious child's head and there would be WAR…

The MC received a 24 hour security detail after that. Just Mammon wasn't going to cut it, he needed NO chances. It was a full rotation of Mammon, him and Beel for the entirety of their stay (Asmo and Levi both threw hissy fits at the prospect of babysitting, Satan couldn’t be trusted not to kill them just to irritate him, and Belphie was out for… obvious reasons).

In some ways, it wasn’t so bad. The MC was a very mild sort of person, rather even tempered. He’d dare say they were pleasant, mostly content to just tend to their gardens and be out in the moonlight…

But the problem was, he just could not convince them to stay OUT of nature. Including the forests, which were full of hellish beasts fully intent on gnawing their flesh from their bones… and their specialty was plants, not animals, sooo…

Their habit of sneaking out to wander the woods got so bad that he very nearly considered pulling a Belphie 2 and locking them in the basement for their own good. But Devil knows what damage their mother would do if she found out…

At least they make for pleasant company… And Diavolo seems to like them quite a bit himself so the mortal gets a pass from him. Now if they’d only consider their own safety for a change…

Mammon

They make him a KILLING.

Like, no seriously. Their produce is insane!! He’s never tasted food so good, especially stuff that’s come fresh from the ground! It only took a few berries for Mammon to throw on a straw hat himself and start harvesting! He’s a farmer now, baby!!

Weeellll not quite. He’s still absolutely only in it for the money, but anything he brings to a farmer’s market goes so fast that he can hardly care about the labor! He’s never made this much Grimm in his life!! And it’s totally legit for a change!

He bought himself another car, paid off half of his debt, and even got Levi back that 2 or 3 grand he leant him centuries ago. Really, Mammon’s living his best life and it’s all thanks to MC!

It’s a good thing his blatant grifting doesn’t hurt his relationship with them at all, in fact they seem to enjoy having his help regardless. They bring him drinks on hot days or invite him on picnics and stuff, it’s… it’s really sweet. They’re very nice to him and he appreciates it…

But… COULD YA JUST STAY PUT ALREADY???

It drives him INSANE that they won’t stay out of dangerous places!! After he started caring about them for more than just a meal ticket it only got even worse!!

He’s not usually one for monitoring someone’s every move (that kind of control freak behavior is more a Lucifer thing) but he eventually had to set up familiars around the House just to keep them from sneaking out at night...

What was so interesting out there anyway?? There wasn’t any kind of plant that he could bring them himself! They didn’t have any need to be out there!! 

They’d keep telling him they’d be fine but it’s not like he’s going to actually buy that. They were too… nice to be dangerous or anything so why would he believe them?

No more running off, MC! Please, he’s beggin’ ya!!

Leviathan 

Wait, gardening? Like, being outdoors and stuff? Ew. No thanks, he’ll pass.

That was more or less his first reaction when they showed up and it never really got much better than that…

He admits that they’re friendly and it’s not like he dislikes them or anything, but their thing so far from his thing that they just don’t have a lot in common… you know?

For starters, they get So. Antsy. when they’re inside for too long! He tried to invite them to a marathon once, but they could hardly keep still and kept looking around like they were searching for a window… He said, “to jump out of.” They insisted just for some fresh air, but he didn’t buy it...

They’re nice enough to listen to his rants, but they’re barely ever inside for him to do so and like HELL is he going to leave his room and stand around out there for that long. Ranting is at least a one to two hour engagement! What if he gets hot out there? And have you SEEN Devildom bees?? Hell no!!

He has, however, asked them on multiple occasions to reproduce flowers he’s seen in different anime, especially ones that have a very unique look and they’ve done some real wonders with that!

He can now claim to be the only person to ever own a Ruby-Jade Vine plant, straight from the pages of TSL when it was used to brew tea for the Lord of Lechery during his brief illness and-is anyone even still listening anymore?

The point is, it’s a flower so rare it was imaginary but now HE has it!... or had it for about a week until his utter incompetence of all things plant killed it…

He begged the MC for another but they were out of the plants they needed to make it and would have to go back to the human world to find more… He’s still mourning his loss… Poor Henry 4.0…

Satan

Well… He’s called this MC “salt of the Earth” and he does truly mean it. Take of that what you will.

He doesn’t get much in the way of intellectual conversation out of this mortal UNLESS he’s talking about plants, farming, or botany… Interesting topics and complex in their own right to be sure, but that’s pretty much their wheelhouse and they like it there.

That being said, the feats that they can perform are genuinely mind-blowing! They are the ONLY person he has ever met who can cultivate the Devildom’s own ultra-rare Phantom Orchid, a plant only blooms when it reaches a perfect state of undeath (i.e. both taken care of and neglected just enough so that it's only barely alive. The balance is so tricky to master that one hasn’t bloomed down there for centuries!)

There’s also something just genuinely relaxing about watching them work or helping them in the gardens… More so than he’d ever expected from such a simple activity.

He admits that he’s taken quite a few strolls through the flower-filled courtyard of the Demon Lord’s Castle just to admire its beauty... But anything that they can grow just blows all of that out of the water!

They even taught him several magic botanical techniques so now he can grow some pretty mad plants himself. Lucifer never expected to find that giant Venus Flytrap in his closet, but one was there regardless. 😏

Just… out of curiosity one day, he asked the MC if they could make him a new kind of catnip. Not for any nefarious reason! You know… just for research purposes…

The nip they made was so effective that the House grounds were FILLED with nipped-up cats for a whole month! He was in Heaven!! (and Lucifer practically wiped those plants from existence so he couldn’t get any more… asshole...)

That must have inspired them because they apparently made a demons-only version that they told him about WELL after the fact. Had he known, he probably would have burned the stuff on principle... Do you know how dangerous demon-nip could be to them? Experiment responsibly, MC!

Asmodeus 

Ehhhh, gardening SOUNDS like one of those things that should be super Devilgram-able, but then you realize how sweaty and dirty you get in the process and it’s a huge turn off… Sorry MC.

When they first came down to the Devildom, he thought two things: 1) Such a sweet little flower child, as adorable as they were, would never survive; and 2) even if they could, he would never ever see eye-to-eye with them on the “wonders” of getting all up in the dirt.

Well, he was right about 2, but certainly not 1. Personally, he thinks his brothers worry about them too much, they ARE still a demigod.

At one point he saw a pack of hellhounds almost trample one of their vegetable gardens and they lost it. Word to the wise, never try to take on a child of Demeter in their own garden. Those hounds were wrapped up in rose vines before they could even yelp...

Yeah, the MC would be fine.

That being said, while everybody else clamors over their produce, he thinks that their flowers are really where it’s at!

Taking just five minutes in one of their gardens is something else... He’s never seen blossoms as healthy and immaculate in all the Devildom before! Their beauty could (almost) rivals his own! What they do isn’t just a hobby, it’s an art.

He’s taken multiple pictures with their blossoms and they go viral every time. It’s so rare to actually see gorgeous, petal-filled flowers in the Devildom, most of the native plants are of the man-eating variety.

His only complaint about this MC is that they seem to feel much more at home in work clothes and dirt than they do in any sort of party-look he tries to give them… Cute as they are, they can afford to gussy up sometimes can’t they? Mud and grass stains don’t make for a good look, sorry.

Beelzebub 

Beel gardens and the MC gardens as well. Add on that they seem to be able to grow all manner of fruits and veggies and he likes this one. A lot.

They had just finished apple-picking when the portal nabbed them so they had a massive basket of apples at the time. Naturally, Beel more or less stole the thing on sight, but the apples inside were so juicy and good that he almost shook them down for more on the spot!

Imagine his surprise when they, half pleadingly, explained to him that if he got them some seeds they could just grow more… and it wouldn’t even take that long.

To be clear, the formula he saw was this: Get seeds > bring seeds to mortal > mortal grows seeds > mortal makes endless supply of food….

Congratulations MC, you’ve now earned the sixthborn’s eternal loyalty after a grand total of… two minutes. He didn’t even know their name, but he was willing to take a bullet for them (provided he got more of those apples).

The next several months were spent with Beel attached to them to the hip in some way, but honestly? It was just so wholesome anyway…

If he’s helping in the garden, he never complains. He does most of the heavy lifting and actually likes being out there with them (unlike others...)

Many afternoons were spent sitting under fruit trees and talking. Sometimes, they go to the trouble of preparing a picnic or something but it would always inevitably end with Beel plucking the whole tree clean of whatever ripe (or unripe) fruit he can get his hands on with a smile. 

The MC never minded though. That’s just another excuse to grow more, right?

His only problem was when the MC would sneak out to the forest… especially when they get too antsy and just go alone. 

He HATES it when they do that! How is he supposed to keep them safe if they just wander off?? He knows that they have a special connection to nature and all, but it isn’t safe…

He’s flown in and scooped them back up to the House on numerous occasions and his “talking tos” get sterner after every rescue... Please stay put, MC! He’d have so many reasons to be sad if you were eaten… 😔

Belphegor 

Okay, he was looking for a capable, if not gullible, human. Not a shoeless flower hippy!

He honestly wasn't expecting much out of this one... Damn their little heart because they did genuinely believed his lies, it’s just that they weren't… well… They were really good at gardening.

… And it grew kind of hard to keep hating them whenever they'd show up just to give him fresh berries or a bouquet to see him smile… He may claim that his heart is made of nightmares and orphan tears, but who doesn’t enjoy being given a batch of flowers? 

Damn their sweetness too… Right to here.

When it came time to kill them he had a heavier heart than he thought he would, but kind of saw it like putting down the sacrificial lamb. Gotta be done to reach better goals... Stiff upper lip and all that.

Unfortunately for him, they had taken to carrying packets of demon-nip with them as a self-defense measure…

He wasn’t exactly sure what he expected when they shouted “Get nipped!” at him mid-attack, but it wasn’t a face full of some smelly herb! Like, really smelly…! Actually, that smelt kind of good… Hold on.

Turns out murderous rage really doesn’t last long after you get what is effectively ultra-strong catnip thrown in your face. They ended up having to go and tell Lucifer what happened themselves because Belphie was way too blissed out on the floor to do anything... They were legitimately worried they might have fried his brain...

He’s told the effects of the demon-nip lasted three days. He doesn’t know, because he hardly remembers any of it... They described him as like he was high on “weed” and “ecstasy” at the same time but he doesn’t know what either of those are either so it wasn’t helpful…

Truthfully, they were so nice to him while he was recovering that he couldn’t even be mad afterwards so all's well that ends well? Either way, he’s sleeping under their orchard trees from now on. It’s peaceful out there...

They burnt all that nip though. It’s some strong stuff...

[bigskydreaming]

Hi, I was reading your post about Jason punching Dick in the face when Dick revealed he fake his death was bullshit ( which it was) and it reminded me of an issue/question that has bothered me for sometime.

Why did people believe Dick was actually dead?

I’m not the most avid comic reader so maybe I missed something but it was always weird to me that everyone just accepted this especially given how Bruce was acting or should I say wasn’t acting.

This is a man when his child died another child had to come along and told him sir you are being too violent and emotional you need supervision. When his other child died he went all over the universe to bring him back to life because he knew it was possible ( which was happening at the same time), so why didn’t anyone think it was weird he wasn’t doing that for Dick. Can you imagine Dick really dying that soon after Damian it would be injustice Batman Version. You are telling me that Tim, Jason or Barbara didn’t think it was weird that Bruce didn’t also bring Dick’s corpse to the bring Damian back to life mission or mention it to themselves. Like what more likely Dick dead and Bruce is handling it well or that he fake his death to do something stupid and Dangerous after his partner/brother/ little bit my son the feelings are complicated died after he was knocked out and woke up to his corpse.

Oh man, this is like, the entire nature of my beef?

(Slight derail just to emphasize the fact real quick that Dick DID actually die, he was just revived quickly, but like, the trauma of his death was very real and its not like anyone was clued into Luthor having a resurrection backdoor built into his literal murder of Dick in the actual moment of it happening. So Dick’s death wasn’t fake, and additionally, he didn’t have anything to do with like, telling people about it, because he was literally comatose in the cave and recovering while Bruce was telling people....by the time Dick woke up in the cave, we already know that Alfred at least had already been convinced by Bruce that Dick was dead, so I have a kneejerk need to pushback against the Dick faked his death narrative by reminding people wherever possible that Dick had no agency in the spreading of that narrative. 

It happened without him being involved, and the only actual contribution he ever made to it was just not revealing he was alive before Grayson #12, after Bruce like.....emotionally, mentally and physically badgered him into accepting that doing so would be directly harmful to his family and he didn’t want to be the reason more people died when like, people had just died because he ‘let’ himself be captured and interrogated by Power Woman’s Lasso of Submission, did he?

SORRY TO BE PEDANTIC, just wanted to start this off on a clarification, even though I know the aim of your ask was very much in tune with the rest of my response. A lot of people don’t read the actual comics, so like, I’m never gonna skip over an opportunity to emphasize that the shorthand people use to refer to Dick’s death and the year he was with Spyral, is like, literally just shorthand for describing it. Its not actually an accurate description of how all that went down and who had the most hand in it).

BUT ANYWAY. BACK TO THE MEAT OF THE BEEF.

Okay so like, not only was the entire family and Bruce himself giving Dick shit for his death and Spyral, like, PAINFULLY egregious because it was literal victim blaming in every possible sense of the word....

None of it made a LICK of sense with ANY of their characterizations, and they ONLY all accepted it on face value because the Plot Demanded It, and when you're like, no, as a reader I say The Plot Demanded It is not a good enough reason for me to be like well sure, that makes sense......looking at the characters ACTUAL actions at face value pretty much just makes them all look like assholes?

Like, Tim has never gracefully accepted anyone's death. Ever. This is core characterization for him. He will go to the ends of the earth for his loved ones and to bring them back, prove they're not dead, refuse to let death be the final verdict for them. He was tempted to use the Lazarus Pit to bring his parents back to life. He refused to accept Bruce was dead long before he had any proof whatsoever of that theory. He tried to clone his BFF/future-husband Kon in his fucking basement like, dude was two whole inches away from going Full Dark Side in his quest to bring back a lost loved one no matter WHAT the cost.....and then you've got Dick unmasked onscreen, killed offscreen, and Bruce then reporting to the rest of them with zero inflection 'oh Dick's dead now. Its very sad' and Tim's just like, sure. Sounds legit.

I mean?!?!

And you're SO RIGHT ABOUT THE DAMIAN THING! Bruce LITERALLY LITERALLY LITERALLY went BEYOND the ends of the Earth, like, he full on chartered a fucking space ship to fly his whole family out to APOKOLIPS to bring Damian back from the dead by going to EXTREME lengths.....WHILE everyone else thought Dick was dead....

And not a single person looked at Bruce and was like, okay, not that we're not down to do this for Damian because we miss Stabby Smurf something fierce ourselves, but.....what the fuck is UP with you dude? Why aren't you displaying ANY hint of this same kind of energy in regards to your eldest son that you said you watched die right in front of you?

Like....I don't know that we were actually ever told that Dick's coffin was empty or had a fake in it, but like....this family of detectives who refuse to accept death, defy death, COME BACK FROM THE DEAD....not a single one of them said like, okay, if I'm gonna like, ACCEPT accept that Dick is dead and gone for good, I need to at least just see him one last time? That's literally all it would have taken for someone to realize hey something's a little wonky here. Where's the dead body, Pops?

Since when has Jason ever missed an opportunity to prove Bruce is a) full of shit, b) acting like an emotionless robot and all his kids deserve better especially when they've just like....died, c) just factually incorrect and wrong and jumped to a conclusion before it was conclusively proved, d) lying like a liar or e) all of the above?

Nobody even ASKED if Dick's body could be put in a Lazarus Pit? Yeah, Jason wouldn't necessarily recommend it himself, given what it put him through, but actually fuck that, I take that back, because I'm NOT actually of the opinion that Jason full on hates his life and actively spends every second of every day wishing he hadn't been resurrected, even if it had come with a huge buffet of additional trauma and pain.

And that's kinda what's implied when people just take it for granted that he would never be on board with any scenario involving using a Lazarus Pit to bring Dick back, because it suggests that based even just on his own experiences and feelings, he honestly believes Dick would prefer being dead and not have ANY further opportunities to be with his loved ones, his friends, help save the damn world again at some future point.....that Jason, projecting based just off himself, legit feels Dick would rather be dead than have another shot at life even WITH the downsides of Lazarus Pit usage? Nope. Sorry, I don't buy it.

Speaking of not buying it.....you know what was missing from all those soliloquies the others monologued at Dick about how they felt and were hurt and just devastated by his death, to such a point they can't seem to muster a single shred of happiness that he's NOT dead still -

(seriously, Damian was the ONLY person in ALL THE LANDS OF EMOTION-HAVING who expressed ANY kind of positive reaction to having Dick back. We were so fucking cheated of like.....ANY opportunity to have the characters show just how much they valued him by just being fucking HAPPY he was alive, no matter what else was involved....and then most of fandom compounded that by for years being like mmmm, no, Dick didn't get yelled at enough by his family for what HE put THEM through. Needs more yelling. More punching too. Bad Dick. Bad. This is the only way you'll learn not to die and get shipped off on a mission that you don't want but at least is to protect your family after being beaten into it by your dad whilst victim blaming you for dying in the first place. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN TO THINK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE AND THEIR FEELINGS FOR A CHANGE, DICK?!?)

- But like, BUT I DIGRESS aside....you know what was missing from all those monologues about how hard DICK'S death and ensuing year of basically exile from his loved ones was for EVERYONE BUT HIM?

We never got a single line of explanation as to what everyone else officially thinks even happened to him in the first place?

Like, did Bruce straight up just say oh bad news kids, your brother umm. Expired. Spontaneously. There's no one to blame, he just keeled over, its all very sad.

Is that how that went down?

You're telling me that the explanation of Dick's death didn't come with a single pointed finger at someone for this family of blame-happy vigilantes to like, BLAME for the loss of this brother they all mourned oh so much, they just couldn't help but blame him for all the hurt it caused them?

The family that in every other fic is like OBSESSED with avenging and being avenged and all things vengeful and even tangentially vengeance-y....like didn't ask for a single detail on whomst the fuck deprived us of our brother-having?

Where were the attempts on Luthor's life by Jason (who I mean, yeah I know it was in a previous continuity, but erasing that timeline doesn't erase my awareness of the time Dick killed Jason's murderer so like.....mmm, just saying, woulda been nice)....where was the rage directed at the Crime Syndicate and references to how seriously and personally the Batfam took making sure that they were PUNISHED for all this and would never be free to wreak havoc on their world or their family again? What did they tell Damian when he came back to life, and how are you going to tell me that this fraternal little ball of fury didn't aim himself like a cannonball at whomever the fuck had DARED take HIS Batman from him when Damian wasn't around to have his back?

Not only does everyone else's desire to be avenged start falling really flat the second you factor in hey maybe Dick feels "mmm what about MY avenging" sometimes, and why doesn't anyone ever care about doing that for him.....but also, y'know what REALLY sucks about the ONLY person we actually SEE being blamed for Dick's death and ensuing absence being like....Dick himself?

Not only were his family all super keen on making all of this HIS fault and HIM the bad guy because of how it made them all feeeeeeel (and meanwhile fuck his feelings, am I right Batfam hfaklshfklahfkla).....

They somehow found a way to justify prioritizing this OVER ever even getting around to blaming some villain for his death in the FIRST place, in the entire year or so they thought he was still dead!

Like, you couldn't come up with a single target in all that time, but Dick's back two seconds, and you don't even give him a chance to EXPLAIN before you're punching him, shutting him down with 'I expected better from you' and turning away with 'I don't want to hear it, why am I surprised Dick Grayson disappointed me again'?

afshklfhalfhalfhla

Make it make sense!

And like, it won't, cuz it doesn't, and it never will, and like I said at the top, the ONLY reason it all played out this way is because DC doesn't give a fuck about character development and deemed it necessary to go down this way for the sake of the plot (which was totes worth it, I mean, glad we sacrificed characters for this A+ plot which was clearly the greatest plot of all time and definitely justified every story choice made or not made around it loooool).

BUT.

BUT BUT BUT.

The problem isn't JUST that DC is stupid, even though that is an eternal mood and quite the problem.

Its that the SECOND large parts of fandom decided to play along with DC and just accept the story at face value, only add to it and play into it exactly as it happened in canon with no significant deviations, and like, heaping on the LITERAL abuse from Dick's siblings while ignoring the LITERAL abuse from his father....

THAT....is when all of this becomes relevant.

Because the second people decided TO engage with the reasoning DC gave for what Bruce did and how and what Dick did and how and just not mess with any of that and have it all play out exactly like that...

The second people are like, okay we're FINE with not just dismissing this story as OOC writing that doesn't make any sense, and actually VALIDATING it to various degrees by engaging with it as is....

That's when 'OOC writing' stops being an excuse or explanation for alllll of the above gaps in character logic and actions.

Because its like, when you had abundant chance to REJECT this story and say nope, this was bullshit from start to finish and I'm not here for it, when you were just as capable of transforming literally ANY aspect of this story you didn't like into something that made more sense to you....

And you chose not to.

That's.....accepting it as valid writing. You were like, okay, I'm game to just treat this as a thing that happened, just like they said that happened.

For the chance to give Dick shit for it, see. For the angst, see.

And that's when I'm like okay cool, so when engaging with this story as is and accepting it on face value and just delving into the characters as they were SHOWN interacting with and around these events......for the angst or whatever....

You guys just all decided en masse to just hop, skip and jump over allllllllll the opportunities for angst inherent in examining even ANY SINGLE ONE of the above lapses in judgment or hypocrisy on the parts of the characters (who don't get to be excused by OOC writing if you're not going to call the story an example of OOC writing, whoops).

And its just like, uh, what's up with that?

[aconstantstateofbladerunner]

The Glitch

I get the Broken Reality au is a haha funny joke but there’s been some legit great art for it and since Butterfly is over and I haven’t gotten into the groove of my other projects yet, I decided to try some flash fiction of my interpretations. Note that this is very small and informal; I used whatever idea came into my head over the course of an hour or so instead of the weeks of planning that go into my usual fics. This was an experiment for fun. But if people enjoy the concept, I may be tempted to expand on it.

Credit to @lollitree @moonpaw @gentrychild​ @owlf45​ and @cyber-phobia​ (I’m sorry if I missed someone I lost track of how many people were involved in this mess).

Content working for reference to infant death.

Please enjoy!

The city shut down for a typhoon warning.  Thunder rumbled in the distance.  Dark clouds blocked the sun so much that by mid-morning it still looked like it never bothered coming up.  And yet the humidity made it too hot for coffee.  Inko didn’t know how to feel.  Work would have been a good distraction.  But she didn’t want any coworkers or clients to see if today got to be too much.  And it was already shaping up to be.  She caught herself making two plates of food for breakfast.  

Inko sat alone in the kitchen.  She couldn’t bring herself to finish her own plate.  Sickness set in fast.  The food had been cold for a long time before she summoned the strength to get up and throw it away.  Then she stood over the open trash can a while, debating whether to try and hold it together, or just throw up and get it over with.  She eventually managed to keep her stomach steady enough to go back to her bedroom.  There was another trashcan in there anyway.

A sound stopped her.  From her office.  The distinct sound of something heavy falling onto the carpet.  Right as she walked past the door.

Please not this again…

She opened the door with her eyes closed.  Her mind conjured a familiar image.  A bedroom full of books and hero posters.  Bright colors and personal touches.  A child’s room.  Inko opened her eyes to her drab home office.  Some of the older case file binders slipped off the pile again.  She really needed to sort those into storage. Not today though.  She didn’t bother to pick it up.

Inko walked faster than normal the rest of the way to her room.  She doesn’t want to face the temptation to search for old toys she remembers storing in the empty closet.  Or search the walls for scuff marks from action figures tossed into them she could always see even after the walls were painted. She hid her planner on a tall shelf and put the ladder away to make it that much harder to go through it over and over looking for doctors’ appointments and school events she knew were coming up.  Finally reaching her bed brought no comfort.

Of course she knew today’s date by heart.  She hadn’t put it on a calendar in the fourteen years since she used to look at it every day.  Inko stuck her head under her pillows, as if they could block out the silent noise of her memories.  Memories of before, the time even when she was by herself, she was never alone.

Fifteen years now, today.  With a shuddering gasp, the tears finally came.  Thunder crashed outside.  It’s not fair!  Why is it still this hard after this long?  Phantom kicks in her belly joined the growing ice there.

The hardest part was she still felt like that sometimes.  Like she wasn’t really alone.  Inko didn’t believe in ghosts, but the lost of what could have been was more than haunting enough.  She felt it watching her.  Judging her. Waiting just long enough for her to settle down into a peaceful, content existence before it reared up to plague her heart all over again.  Cliché hauntings like spooky faces in the mirror or blood coming out of the drains would have been preferable.  Those would be generic enough not to remind her directly.

Rain started outside.  Her phone lit up with a notification she ignored in time with a thunderclap.  The storm was getting closer.

Maybe I should call Hisashi, the thought crossed her mind.  Maybe he’s going through this too.  She bit her lip bloody.  Her frustrated memories weren’t in question like the others.  Probably not though.  I don’t want to talk to him anyway.

Hisashi had been stuck in the denial stage of grief, which often came off as him acting like he didn’t take hers seriously.  Not a year, not even half a year looking back, after they came home from the hospital, he wanted to try again.  

“We can’t let mourning hold us up forever,” he said.  “And it’s not like we lost a once in a lifetime opportunity!  We’ve got at least another twenty years to keep trying!”

But we did lose him! she had wanted to scream.  Still did, years later.  Why didn’t he understand?  He was your loss too!  Inko wanted for the next roll of thunder, then shouted.  

“I don’t just want any baby!  I want Izuku!”

The lights went out.  The temperature rose five degrees instantly when the ceiling fan stopped going.  The rain stopped.

Power outage.  Inko sat up with a sniffle.  Turns out the notification was a warning about roving blackouts.  Of course.  Oh well. I wasn’t really in the mood to cook tonight any-

Thunder boomed even louder than before, making her jump.  Then another.  Lightning flashed outside at the same time.  It was right on top of her.

What?  I thought the typhoon wasn’t supposed to make landfall until later toni-

Another crash.  It vibrated through her bones.  Then another. The lightning lit up her whole room. Except for a shadow on the wall. Inko jolted to look, holding her breath, and found only her own shadow in the next flash.

“I’m such an idiot…”  She went for her phone again.  For peace of mind, she decided to use her data to check if an evacuation order went out. Or any updates at all really, since the weather came so much faster than the news said.  “Nothing,” she sighed annoyed.  “I hate being alone for weather like this…”

A new notification pinged.

[Mom]

Inko blinked rapidly.  The message remained.  All of her insides turned inside out in an instant, and she started crying again. Was this someone’s idea of a sick joke? No one ever got a chance to call her that.  She touched the note to open it, but nothing happened.  No app or source was displayed.  Nor did it go away after a few seconds like normal.  

“Wha- What’s going on?” she wept.  In a mix of sorrow and rage, she wound up to chunk the device across the room.  But she froze.

Outside her window, floating against the pitch-black sky, were two small orbs.  Perfectly circular and glowing.  Watching her. She didn’t dare move.  

Another ping.  She looked without moving.

[I’m sorry]

“…  What?”

For a moment, all the sounds in the world dropped out.  They all came back at ounce.

Lights flickered.  Both the ones inside and the lightning going outside.  Multiple strikes laid on top of one another.  No relief.  Thunder pounded over and over like a drum solo.  It shook the whole building.  Inko ran into the closet away from the window.  She slammed her hands over her eyes but it didn’t help.  Her terrified cried were whispers to the screams of the storm.

A child’s scream.  She heard it. Each flash of light came with a cry. The distinct sound of a little boy calling out in pain blended with unyielding nature.  It came from every direction.  Every hair on Inko’s arms stood up in fear.  She felt the charge in the air.  But she had to go out.  Her baby was crying for help.

She burst from the closet into the living room.  All the lights and appliances turned themselves on and off.  The TV showed only static between its flashes. Something drew her too it.  The storm was deafening.  It pounded through her head like a heartbeat.  The beats got faster.  The static flashes started to look like a face.  Her usual caution was abandoned as she fell to her knees and touched the screen.  The snow cleared for a single instant.  Just long enough to look like the blank eyes from the window.  She felt the heartbeat there too.

Then it stopped.  All of it. The noise and lights all went quiet and dark.  The TV went completely cold in an instant.  Inko, stunned, palmed over it looking for something.  Anything.  The pulse. Warmth.  A burnt fuse or faulty wire.  But nothing.  The rain started again.

She pulled her hands back to her lap.  Her heart was still racing and tears kept flowing down under her chin. She looked around.  Everything in the living room and kitchen looked the same. No sign of the earthquake-like convolutions the whole appartement experienced only minutes ago.  Inko combed the entire space for evidence.  An object knocked off the shelf.  A picture frame fallen from the wall.  The notifications.  Toys in the closet or scuffs in the wall.  Still not a sign.  She even stepped outside her door to check the sky.  Only light rain and shattered thunder, just like the news said the day before.

There was only one thing out of place.  Back in her bedroom, the bottom drawer of her nightstand hung open.  Inko had to steal herself before approaching it. There were only two things in there: a little green blanket, and a picture of the ultrasound.  The most recent one from her last appointment. The doctor said he was doing fine.

“Izuku…” she whispered to it in her hand.

She remembered the squealing little bundling being put in her arms for the first time.  The first time he smiled at her.  Teaching him to walk, then immediately launching into play.  Him coming home with bruises and scrapes after the kids at school were mean to him, and crying in her arms.  Then, him coming home with his first real friends in a long time. She made them all dinner. Katsudon.  That was Izuku’s favorite.

Only she didn’t remember.  The same way she didn’t really remember the toys and scuffs.  Those were fantasies.  Daydreams of what could have been.  She just thought about them so often they felt like memories. Especially today.  It was his birthday after all.  They’d fade back into vague dreams by tomorrow.  They always did.  

And she would be left with reality.  The silence.  The cold, still little hand between her fingers.  Soft cheeks without blush.  Eyes that never opened.  Clutching him too tight to her chest, knowing the second she let go he would be gone for real and it would all be over.  

But it was never over.  Inko went through this same torturous song and dance every year for fifteen now.  All the guilt and dread would subside slowly over the next one, until it all came back at once.  Just like this.

At least it’s done for now, she tried to reassure herself, climbing back into bed. It still wasn’t even noon yet.  Plenty of time for another breakdown.  Hopefully the next one won’t be, feel, as loud.  She sighed heavily into her sheets.  This sort of thing can’t be normal.  I should really try therapy again.

Against her better judgement, she kept the blanket out, and clutched it to her chest.  Static electricity pricked her fingers.  With her other hand, she reached across the bed, and tried to imagine someone else there. Not Hisashi, never him anymore.  Izuku.  He was fifteen and happy, but the storm was making him nervous so he came to lay beside her.  She remembered it like it was now.  If she closed her eyes, she could feel his warm, soft skin, with a healthy, if a little anxious heartbeat just underneath.  The mattress warped as he sighed.

“We’ll be okay.  It’s just a little rough weather,” she promised.

“Okay, Mom,” Izuku answered quietly.  “…  I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”  I’ll start trying to get myself together tomorrow.  For now, let me have this.

Izuku didn’t respond for a while.  “I love you.”

“I love you too, baby.  Happy birthday.”

[phantaloon-books]

Things about Tower of Nero that I want to highlight to remember them forever:

Lu being an absolute badass woman, I just love her too much

Piper McClean being canon wlw, she was actually kissing another girl, we really fell in love in october

Chaos being canonically female (just chaos being mentioned as a deity rather than what's below tartarus)

nobody DIED, like no one on the good side at least?? yes plenty of beings have died throughout TOA, but nobody died in TON?? so many died in TLO and BOO, I expected to mourn someone and I didn't have too??! it made me so happy

solangelo. that's it. solangelo makes me happy.

will being incredibly supportive of nico, and instead of stopping him, going with him on dangerous adventures because he doesn't want to leave him alone. also them treating Nico's PTSD for what it is

WILL SOLACE CANONICALLY GLOWS IN THE DARK. HE'S A GLOWSTICK BABY.

also will just appearing at the gates of the throne room, glowing in rage because someone touched his boyfriend (and tried to kill his dad), and him just marching through everyone (everyone else letting him), just to pick up his hurt precious boyfriend and take care of him.

meg McCaffrey got her happy ending. she's baby, she deserves her family and her happy ending. also Lu being the mother and the 12 children being siblings?? that's one hell of a way to tell nero to fuck off and right his mistakes. we love meg.

dionysus being the best olympian after apollo. the duo content we needed, and now will never get

nico mentioning bob and how he wants to go look for him, because he can still be in tartarus

rachel still being a Total badass and hitting people in the eye with her blue hairbrush thus being iconic

meg acting as lester's anchor and only reason why he didn't let go of the ledge, not falling into chaos, is top tier 'reasons why I cried reading', because if you think about it, Meg is the first ever friend apollo ever had, and them being best friends is everything to me

also apollo choosing to go looking as lester rather than apollo because lester feels like home is on top tier 'reasons why I cried reading' too

again, the only thing apollo did in the end (once he was god again) that could be described as 'godly' was be in several places at once, fly his chariot, and get meg her unicorn

but apollo shooting fucking fire out of his hands is crazy asf, it was so cool. he really got amazing godly powers this book.

rick being bold enough to showcase abusive parenting knowing that a huge porcentage of his readers are minors, helping many realize that they could be in abusive households, and giving them a tool to reach out for help

apollo defeating nero was so satisfactory, because you realize in the end, that nero wasn't really a monster, he was monstrous, but still very much human (if only with some godly power), and pretty useless once he couldn't hide behind props and weapons, his being wasn't powerful, he was just under layers of protection

the jackson/blofis scene was so warm and loving, they really are willing to put their family in danger, baby estelle in danger, to help 'percy's friends' even tho she knew percy didn't like apollo, but she still takes in everyone who needs help, and paul being a loving and accepting husband

sally working on her SECOND novel, she really is having her best life

none of the big heroes from other series having protagonism, besides nico and will, instead giving the other kids from camp halfblood their chance to show they're just as worthy as the "heroes of olympus"

(still I would have loved to see a scene with everyone else, like the heroes of olympus guys, fighting together one last time, just for nostalgia's sake - I legit hoped to see percy and annabeth arriving with chiron in triumvirate tower, but yeah)

the arrow of dodona may have been a dumb, cringey, and slightly ridiculous thing at first, and I personally rolled my eyes everytime it said anything, but it knew what would happen from the start, and without its sacrifice, apollo would have achieved nothing. we stan one arrow

nico wearing a white cowboy hat. idky but it makes my heart swell with joy. he a gay cowboy

y'all know I love Apollo's arch, and I just gotta point this out. his trials, his time as lester, started with him falling to earth, and ended with him getting up after purposely throwing himself off the earth, towards tartarus, almost falling to chaos. that's really clever writing.

the olympians watching over him, and some actually being concerned for him rather than his progress.

poseidon not really giving a fuck about the world or council meetings anymore because percy's not there anymore

athena being the only one apart from artemis who trusted apollo could do it makes me warm fsr

lester deciding that the best way to retell his adventures is by singing is hilarious to me, he really thinks it'll solve everything

Grover not telling percy and annabeth jason died seems so funny to me, he really said "nah it doesn't matter much, field trip, yes"

"hey man" my heart broke in twenty million pieces. like I don't know where I expected to see jason. but that wasn't it. and it hurt me as much as it hurt apollo man.

(also I kinda hoped we would see nico summon his spirit or smth, but I'm actually happy nico realized that jason went by his own choice, and he was in peace, so he decided not to summon him, because it was alright. that hurt too)

kinda love how lester passes out after literally every battle. it reminds you that even tho he's apollo, his body isn't. I'm sure we all would pass out too if we did a quarter of what lester did in the span of 4 days. his body isn't made to endure that, it doesn't even have a halfblood endurance, it's a weak mortal body

the trogs were fucking hilarious. their screeches and grrs, idk there's something ridiculous and so childish about them, it's so fun

really happy that apollo never had a /real/ love interest (reyna doesn't count), cause that wasn't what his story was about. instead he got to make so many friends, and have quality time with them and his children, it's amazing

apollo being thankful people were telling him he'd grown, and was more human, because he realized that was the best thing he could have learned from his time as a mortal

also him saying fuck you man to zeus and his speech, like "no asshole dad, I did learn, I'm not going to see this as punishment, it was a great time in which bad things happened but I enjoyed it." yes, we love apollo not letting zeus win

getting to see what everyone will do now. nico and will figuring out rachel's prophecy, probs saving bob. rachel living her best life away from her parents. leo doing what leo does, always helping those who have no one else. the hunters' open storyline about this fox, possibly hinting at content? piper settling down in a quiet life is what she deserves tbh, she's earned quiet life with a cute gf, wish her the best. Frank and hazel being the best praetors, and I bet they will continue to be so. And annabeth and percy, who chose their happiness over all, at last

kinda wish we got to see someone still really miss jason after apollo becomes god again tho lmao like apollo missed jason more than the others, nico and piper being the exception. I mean, leo is fine and dandy, hazel and frank are okay, percy and annabeth are done mourning... I just we got to see any of them really mourning, rather than reading they mourned. it would have made it feel more emotional

the last conversation and the last words in general. "the sun always comes back" and "we're friends now. call on me. I'll be there for you" that shit got me sobbing my heart out. rick really managed to do right by the books and end it like he should have, unlike BOO. he took what made TLO good and used a similar formula. it's very different from "and for once I didn't look back", but it still fills you with warmth and the feeling that even though it's over, it's okay.

I'm just really emotional, this is all I can think about, but you bet I'm gonna add more when I remember

[rikalovesrice]

My Thoughts on Trollhunters : Rise of the Titans

WARNING : ALL THE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW

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Mmmmm. Okay. So I just finished the movie. I’m fatigued as always so this’ll be a bit of a mess lol. Gotta spew the thoughts while they’re still fresh, y’all know how it is.

Right out the gate, I definitely want to talk about the things I loved.

The animation was, of course, phenomenal and gorgeous!

Voice acting was incredible as always

MUSIC SLAPPED

Douxie. I just loved seeing Douxie again and honestly kept my eyes trained on him for most the of movie lol

OK DOUXIE AND NARI SWITCHING?? BODIES??? Definitely didn’t see that coming and I legit started screaming lol

Nari in Douxie’s body is the most precious, chaotic, and wholesome thing like holy cow that was so adorable LOOKIT DOUXIE CROUCHING AND CRAWLING AROUND ON ALL FOURS WITH THOSE NOODLE LIMBS OF HIS I CAN’T --

We called Nari’s mind control and Douxie trying to reason with her!

In the very few scenes they were together, Douxie’s love and affection for Nari really came through. You could really feel how much he cared about her. ALSO THAT TENDER HUG AND NARI’S LITTLE HAPPY SQUEAK MY HEART NO--

Loved Barbara. Always love Barbara.

Walter and Barbara getting engaged

Nomura back in action

Claire being the powerful sorceress she’s become

Loved seeing Aja, Krel, and Varvatos all together again.

NARI VS SKRAEL WAS ALL SORTS OF EPIC AND CRUSHING EMOTIONS.

The way Douxie yelled Nari’s name and ran to her after she died and the remnants of her magic falling all around him, like she was saying goodbye, just *UGLY CRYING*

It was so cool to see Charlie out of his den and flying about like the mighty dragon he is

Loved the Guardians of Arcadia pulling Excaliber out together.

All the gang all going after Bellroc together

YES JIM MY BOOOOOOY

BLINKY DIDN’T DIE

Aarrgh I love you so much

Stuart, what a bro!

We saw a hint of mercy in Bellroc towards the end.

Toby’s death... That was a huge curveball. Jim might as well have cut my heart out with Excaliber as he sobbed over his best friend.

Uh.....um....and.....Er...what else........ .___.

..........Alright so.......It’s about to get a bit brutal from here on out as I talk about the things I didn’t like at all. And the really sad thing is, at least to me, the cons far outweigh the pros in this movie. Because I’m actually having difficulty picking out things I enjoyed, they were so few and far between...which really sucks.

So here we go.

Gosh, where to begin... I guess I’ll go ahead and say this : I’m really disappointed. 

Like as I’m here typing this, I’m just thinking, “...That was it? That was the movie?? The big finale???”

So much of this movie just felt....unnecessary. I hate to say almost like filler. The entire intro re-caping the series really wasn’t needed. And then Toby went and restated it all again when he was being interrogated. The pacing, oh my gosh...Guys, the pacing in this movie was not good. The action started and it never seemed to stop. There wasn’t a single moment of rest, of levity, of our characters just being themselves, getting to know each other, being friends outside of the battle. No Reckless Club Segment. No fun, just... I mean Claire and Aja didn’t speak to each other at all. Douxie and Toby hardly interacted. Steve was turned into a gross male pregnancy joke. Jim and Krel barely spoke. Douxie and Aja had nothing to say to each other. Even Aja and Krel didn’t have any moments together. The list goes on. The whole movie was just go, go, go. And it’s so frustrating because there was time for it but it was poorly executed.

Like was the whole break-in to the Chinese Trollmarket really necessary?? Guys, I really found myself not caring. I didn’t care to see this random side quest involving an insignificant new troll character and a Trollmarket that had little to no bearing on the plot. Did I love seeing Charlie, Archie, Blinky, and Claire? Of course! But these scenes were so pointless. So needless. They could’ve written other ways for all our heroes to go after the chronosphere (Maybe we could’ve had Zoe for crying out loud). But instead this vital artifact was the hands of a character we don’t know and don’t care about in a place that turned out to have basically nothing to do with anything.

Deaths. The deaths in this movie. Because of the pacing in this movie, there wasn’t nearly enough time for the emotional impacts to sink in. Nomura? Gone and the only ones mourning her are Aaarrgh and Douxie, who barely knew her. Walter’s death was handled better since we got to see Jim and Barbara actually having a moment to mourn him. The weight of Nari’s death was singlehandedly carried by Douxie, but even that was over before it started. The immense gravity of Toby’s death, which really got to me, was also short-lived to make way for an ending that...I don’t know. 

ALSO DOUXIE JUST??? BEING OKAY WITH HIS FAMILIAR, THE ONE WHO RAISED HIM AND WENT THROUGH SO MUCH WITH HIM FOR CENTURIES, LEAVING HIM FOREVER TO BE TRAPPED IN THAT DUMB TROLLMARKET WITH CHARLIE LIKE???

“I hope he’s happy.”

WHAT. THE. EVERLASTING. FRICK. 

Douxie’s reaction objectively doesn’t make a shred of sense. Geez, it’s almost like Douxie was expecting Archie to up and leave him someday to be with Charlegmane. Just...what???

What also frustrates me so much is how this movie undid so much characterization and development that happened in Wizards. Or more like all that development didn’t even matter.

What was the point of Steve’s arc in Wizards if he was just going to be reduced to...this?

I was so excited to see Douxie really being a Master Wizard. To see him lead the Guardians of Arcadia alongside Jim. To see him in action as Successor to Merlin and Protector of this Realm.

But no.

Douxie, who had such an incredible arc in Wizards and a character who’s come to mean so much to me in my life, was nerfed and sidelined.

And then time restarts and I can’t help but wonder why any of this mattered at all. What the heck was the freaking point of the suffering, the loss, the pain, the growth, enduring and overcoming so much, the friendships and family spanning across three shows... All gone. Starting all over. Undoing everything, except what Jim went through. As much as I love Jim, I didn’t think he’d be the only character I’d be getting closure for at the grand finale of this entire franchise. But that’s what happened and I really hate it.

Just...all in all, this movie wasn’t satisfying. Not to me. It had its good moments. But not nearly enough. The comedy was misplaced and fell flat. The climax was sorely anticlimactic and didn’t hold a candle to Eternal Knight. The writing, the direction, characterization...For some reason it was all lost and confused and none of it felt right and so much didn’t make sense.

I’m not at all upset with the writers, though, because they still pulled through and did what they could. When the movie did something right, it was beautiful. The things I loved about it I truly adored. No, I’m not upset in the least bit with any of the creative team.

I’m upset with Netflix. I’m upset that Wizards was robbed of the seasons it should’ve had. I’m upset with big cooperations stifling creators. I’m upset that this’ll be it. This is the ending we got and nothing can be done about it.

Aaron did say there’s every possibility for the franchise to continue in some capacity, and I’m hoping for that someday. Because so much, too much, has been left unanswered. So much left to be explored that couldn’t. But until then....I guess this is it. This is what we get.

Now, I want to remind everyone that this is my own personal experience with the movie. These are all my opinions. If you enjoyed every second the movie, that’s wonderful! And who knows how my thoughts will change upon another viewing. But in the meantime, Rise of the Titans really missed the mark for me. I wanted found family badassery and fluff. But nope. Just fighting and heaviness and no payoff. It’s such a letdown...a real shame. 

But yeah...Thanks to any and everyone who read to the end of this haha

I still love Tales of Arcadia. It’s a series that has blessed and inspired me so much as an artist, writer, and as a person in general. I do want to keep making ToA content for a while. Cause this movie isn’t the end. Not my ending, at least.

I’ll continue to hope for more Tales of Arcadia in the future (a Douxie spin-off series please Lord pleaaase). We shall see. Until then, fics and fanart fixing this mess galore haha

Until next time everyone! God bless!

[demonslayedher]

Your content on Kny is interesting, being a Kny fan I would like to share a cusiority. During the final battle did you notice that the Hashira were passive about the death of some? When Shinobu died only Tanjiro had a reaction because of how busy he was; Mitsuri didn't seem sad and when Iguro remembered who died in the middle of the final battle he didn't even mention her. What did you think? It would have been nice if Gotouge had shown us what the Hashira's thought when the others died

[cont.] I'm the anonymous person who asked you the question about the Hashira who fell in the fight, Tumblr makes people write very little. Apart from Tanjiro they seemed cold to me, even for Tokito; the only one affected was Himejima; when always Iguro mentioned him during the clash with Muzan it was like he was thinking normally. There wasn't time to mourn for the dead but I was expecting a slightly deeper reaction. Anyway for Shinobu yes there was Inosuke and Kanao but the pillars are important too

  Thank you for the Ask, time to get into it! This served as a good excuse to flip back through of a lot of the later volumes... or rather, a huge chunk of the series. Short Answer: I don’t think Mitsuri knew about Shinobu’s death.  Longer Answer: A walk-through of the Pillars’ situations in the final showdown and a partial analysis of Kimetsu-style story pacing. 

Disclaimer: I finished this around 2am. I chose to leave it rambling and unedited and typo-ridden. HAVE MY FEELS, I’M DISHING THEM.

(Disclaimer: This isn’t meant to be a plug for my own fics, but since they are born out of my emotional experience of canon, mentions will make their way in. U fu fu.) First, absolutely yes on there being no time to mourn. From the moment the Ubuyashiki Mansion blows up in volume 16 to the actual end of the fighting in volume 23, that is one hell of a night; this final arc(s) had NO CHILL. Like, wow. It’s been a long time since I followed another battle-driven manga, but that seems like a lot, especially for a relatively short series.  And I was initially happy to dismiss all the lack of satisfying sadness as being due to the fact that they are in *PANIC MODE* and entirely focused on fighting, but that is also not necessarily the case; they do come off slightly cold.  I want to touch a bit on what we want to see the characters mourn each other, but also why I think it works out a bit better that we didn’t; from a purely narrative standpoint.  LET THEM BE SAD: Parasocial Needs Science says we form bonds with fictional characters that affect our brains in very similar and impactful ways, so our feelings are legit when they get killed off. It affects us like a breakup or other goodbye and makes us crave closure.  As for my own assumptions, we look for proxy characters in-universe to give those characters we love the attention we wish to; their sadness validates our sadness, watching them get emotional can be super cathartic, and a good mourning arc can provide satisfying closure.  This is something we got with Rengoku, canonically loved by like, everyone. Hell, even the guy who killed him was sad. Just to rub salt into it, the most recent fanbook that includes a section about how the Pillars see each other, and it drives home that even if we never saw much or any canon interaction between him and any other given character, they’re all like, “Oh yeah, Rengoku, he’s a great guy.”  And, he’s the only character we really get space to mourn, pacing-wise. First, because of when it happens in the plot, this gives the story time to show us each and everyone one of the Pillars hearing the news; it gives them times to process it (which Tokitou clearly needed), and most of us, it takes us in depth through how it affects Tanjirou, our main character whose emotions that we, the readers, are most in touch with. Rengoku got star treatment in the way he was mourned, and we readers get to lap that up.  So then when we don’t get that in-universe star mourning treatment, it does feel a bit jarring by comparison. Gotouge did say she was sorry to hurt everyone, but these are the conditions the little humans were up against all along and a point driven home again and again; even with power on par with demons through the attainment of a mark; even Pillars are just breakable humans who will never be able to regenerate like demons can, hence why their stakes are so much higher in every battle they go into. Furthermore, the Pillars are more ready for this than anyone else, they of all the characters would be the best at keeping their emotions in check in the heat of a battle.  Which means they had to keep them in check for seven volumes of near constant battle, love it or hate it.  KIMETSU LOGIC: The Writing Sins That Make This Manga What It Is I could go on and on and on and on about the writing sins this manga commits and how it shows that it’s Gotouge’s first time writing something of this length. In manga not all of it can be blamed on the author alone because the editors have a very significant influence, but yeah, this is not the most amazingly crafted story out there, by a long shot.  Would I change any of it, though? Well, a few things, yes, of course, out of personal preference. But on the whole, no. It’s the collective errors that stamp KnY with its style and make it what it is, and I find it as endearing as all the randomly super goofy art.  Now, when it comes to the lack of Pillars reacting to new of each others’ deaths, I wouldn’t necessarily classify that itself as a fault, and if I were Gotouge’s editor, I probably would have encouraged her to keep it to a minimum too. After all, I would be considered with selling a new shot of tension with every week’s installment to keep any readers from getting bored with the constant battle. And dang it, THAT TENSION WAS HIGH, those battles were remarkably emotional and tense through and through.  The breaks in tension that we got were necessarily and not distracting, with the notable exception of Iguro’s past. That was clumsy placement. I’ll be honest, I didn’t bond with Iguro as much as a character because he lost his earlier chances to be appealing to me, and by the time the chapter with his flashback came out, I DIDN’T CARE, I waited anxiously all week to see what was happening to Tanjiro and was invested enough to have an appetite for the additional Sumiyoshi and Yoriichi bits, but dang it, Snake Pillar was getting in the way of what my emotions were primed for at that point.  But, such is the way of fickle weekly readers; with THAT MUCH tension going on, readers crave a little breather here and there with a look at who else might taking in a breather in a flashback. We got bits and pieces of that mostly through flashback, like Tamayo’s memories of conversation with Shinobu experienced in real time through Muzan, as well as in-real-time moments with the characters having very slight chances to catch their breath (no pun intended).  But, how well those breaths worked depending on each character, and how the readers’ emotions were getting slammed week to week. Just like how I as a weekly reader (by that point) had no appetite for an Iguro flashback while eager to move forward, there likewise would have been limited appetite for mourning, and we’re stuck with who we got as proxy characters to react through.  ACTION, REACTION: The Rhythm of Basic Writing Advice It has often been said that in writing, something should happen in a scene, and the next scene should be a reaction to it. In the next scene something new happens, and likewise, there is a reaction. We could also thing of this as stages within the same scene, like the part when the music changes or the moment the battle has ended but we’re still on the battlefield.  In Rengoku’s case, we got one big happening, and then a whole lot of reaction drizzled through the story after that.  In the Infinity Fortress case, we get a big happening with the Ubuyashiki Mansion blowing up and then--a big happening!--a big happening!--a big happening--! A--uh oh, there’s a reactio---NEVERMIND, THINGS ARE STILL HAPPENING, GOTOUGE, PLEASE, THIS HURTS, OW, OW, HOW ARE YOU SO CRUEL, WE GET IT, THIS SITUATION IS AWFUL, PLEASE STOP HURTING THEM---

The reactions are there, scattered throughout. They’re short, but they sure make themselves count.  While Tanjirou is our Empathy Personified hero, it’s natural that we get more of his reactions, but the lack of them in other characters is, I would say, a natural fault of having a huge cast to work with it. Once you start dragging too many other characters into the reactions, the actions have trouble moving forward, and with the level of seven volumes worth of tension it’s the actions that keep readers hooked and buying magazines.  THEY’RE ONLY CORVIDS, OK: Now We’re Actually Looking At Canon Details Now that all being said, although it’s easy to dismiss a lot of Kimetsu Logic as amateurish at first, on further reflection, the little worldbuilding logic does excuse itself for not plunging each of the characters into a period of reaction to actions happening elsewhere.  Not all the birds had Yushiro’s papers. Not all birds were created equal. It’s really hard to navigate that place. Ergo, communication was probably highly imperfect; not all the crows knew everything going on. We don’t feel that as readers because we’re seeing Kiriya and his sisters get all the available communications.  In Iguro and Mitsuri’s case in particular, I suspect that might not even had been Mitsuri’s crow (as that one has a distinct personality and accessory) giving her orders to gather where Muzan is. It was probably any old down-to-business crow working with the information it had as clearly as it could in the battle that was most difficult to physically navigate. If Mitsuri’s crow (named Urara in the most recent fanbook) had been there, I imagine she’d have been having difficulty that whole time to even stay within a close range of that battle. Furthermore, a crow like that with a strong bond with Mitsuri might had also judged that telling her about Shinobu’s death was a dangerous distraction, and chosen to withhold information.  The fanbook specifies that Iguro’s crow Yuuan was the one who told him about how Tokitou got a red blade (in fact, this is basically the only thing said of this crow besides its name and gender). To able to report in such detail that Iguro could analyze that Tokitou attained the red blade by the strength of his grip, that probably quite an accomplishment to have either witnessed that much, or to pass on crucial information that detailed and quickly. At that time, Iguro and Mitsuri were physically separated and she was distracted by the crow giving her orders to gather where Muzan was, so she might not even have overheard that Tokitou had died. As for Iguro, the second fanbook tells us that because Tokitou was young he had hoped he wouldn’t die. There was no opportunity to mourn him, and they weren’t close enough for that to throw him off much from battle, but on a Pillar to Pillar level, I think the amount of thought Iguro did dedicated to Tokitou showed a certain level of esteem for him and regret at this passing.  What would have been nice? Maybe a little look over his shoulder to Mitsuri like “I hope she didn’t hear that.” That would have revealed a tender side of Iguro in a very short use of panels.  I want to come back to analyzing Mitsuri’s reaction later, so let’s keep focusing on the loss of Tokitou. Once he attained more of his sense of self back, it seems he preferred the company of Corp Members closed to him in age (if we go by his little flashbacks, which in true Kimetsu Logic, are things we didn’t know about until they come up in flashbacks). Most of the Pillars weren’t especially close with him, even if they did care about his wellbeing, as they seemed particular aware of how young he was. Sanemi probably had never interacted much with Tokitou until that battle, and *OKAY, HERE IT IS, THE UPCOMING FANFIC SELF-PLUG* one of the things I really liked working with in my post-canon fic is that there’s a point at which thinking about Tokitou forces Sanemi to deal with all the trauma he’s buried from that battle. I figure it would hit him later; he had a good excuse of a distraction. Ugh. Man. My heart hurts again thinking of that chapter.  Let’s also not forget, after Himejima showed his respects for Tokitou both quickly and sincerely, he couldn’t allow Sanemi to deal with Genya’s death until after everything was over. All the Pillars had to think like this.  What would had been nice? I liked this reaction scene to two simultaneous and horrific deaths exactly as it was. Ow. Ahhhh. Owwwwww, it’s hurting again. This is catharsis exactly the way I like it.  Let’s keep going with Himejima, the only one to have known to expect all this, and who stayed ready and likely hoped to bring down Muzan all by himself without any other sacrifices (welp, so much for that). There’s a scene in the novels that implies he had some idea that Shinobu wasn’t intending to make it out of the upcoming battle(s) alive, and I imagine he felt the same regret and bitter acceptance in advance that he also felt with Ubuyashiki. If we heard the news about Shinobu like Tanjirou and Giyuu did, I imagine he was hurt but it wouldn’t have been noticeable, and he probably would not be surprised even at how quickly it happened.  What would had been nice? Anything. Just a “How pitiful” and some tears as he runs through the halls woulda’ been great.  So since Giyuu did hear it loud and clear with Tanjirou, I first want to point out that whether that was Tanjirou’s crow or not (might not had been, because his crow was busy with a letter delivery from Senjurou at the time too), that crow must had loved to shared details; maybe even details that were not necessary. Like, would telling the lower level Corp members everything really help? Wouldn’t the loss of each Pillar make them lose their nerve? Was it because that crow was wearing one of Yushiro’s papers that it had to report extra detail for Ubuyashiki HQ? Whatever the case, Giyuu is initially shocked about Shinobu and then is like, “what is that paper the crow has? It sure is reporting things fast.”  What would have been nice? ANYTHING MORE THAN ONE PANEL OF SHOCK. Come on, Giyuu, give the GiyuuShino shippers S O M E T H I N G. Granted, if Tanjirou had been killed in battle with Akaza, I believe Giyuu would have had an initial outburst of emotion, but then gotten himself under control real quick and stayed that way until it was safe to break down (which he did immediately later on, since the threat was gone--but he was just as soon picking up a sword and stabbing him, so again, Pillar-mode must come before experiencing emotions). I interpret canon as that even though Giyuu might had found it easily to address Shinobu in conversation due to frequency in how much they had conversed and the fact that she would usually talk to him first, he would never had considered himself especially close with her (since he never saw himself close with any of the Pillars). I feel their relationship had potential to grow closer if Giyuu had actually gone out of his way to communicate more with her, and he probably would had if they both survived, but at the time she died he probably still felt a distance, which is why it did him harder when Tanjirou--someone who Giyuu did actually get to a point of enjoying conversation with--was dead right in front of him.  (Side not, oh man, OH MAN, being a weekly reader was so tough then. I still have so many emotions from that week. Oh man. Oof. Ouch.)

Of note, Giyuu had the best opportunity for reflection on a comrade’s death since he had enough recovery time once he woke up to build a fire and treat wounds, and Tanjirou took that chance to read a letter. 

What would have been nice? AGAIN, GIYUU, ANYTHING, but after that battle I think he deserved to disassociate a bit.  Also of note, I don’t know that they had complete information either, because NO ONE (by “no one” I mean Tanjirou and Inosuke) seemed to hear anything about Zenitsu single-handedly killing Upper Moon Six and surviving it. What would had been nice: “Good for you, Zenitsu, I hope you’re okay” or “Six? Again? Didn’t we already do that? There was a third??” or “well I got Upper Moon Two SO THERE” or “..........are you sure?” or even way, way after all is said and done, off in epilogue times, “you fought WHO by YOURSELF???” but I digress. Now back to Shinobu, losing her so early on in this marathon of high-stakes battles made her death seem forever ago by the time we got to another Pillar death. It would had been nice for more of them to react both with “no, not Shinobu!” and “we are in deep trouble” sort of ways. That made the glimpses we got of her in flashback feel way, way more nostalgic, since for our experiences as readers, she had already been gone a very long time. I like that the battle with Douma got stretched over so long a span of the manga, they really showed the stakes in how difficult of a foe he was, even if that battle was itself was relatively shorter than others. And as stand-ins for the readers to mourn Shinobu, I love how we got that both through Kanao and through Inosuke.  But yes, it sure would had been nice to get something from... Mitsuri.  Now, if I had only read the events of canon, manga chapter to manga chapter, and even the Taisho Secrets, I still never would have guessed that Shinobu and Mitsuri had such a warm friendship. I know this purely from the fanbooks and novels, and that is something I find a writing error that detracts a lot from the work. Some of the most apt criticism I’ve heard of the Kimetsu pacing is that it could have stood to give us one of more arc to bond with the characters at least a little more, so we could really, really be emotional over loosing them. We get all our spare Pillar interactions in works outside of canon and after Tanjirou initially gets to know Shinobu, he has no more on-screen interactions with her; she mostly appears in Taisho Secrets.  Pillar Training was fun and all, but maybe another arc with stakes in it that occurs closer to home and brings out some different sides of the Pillars in Tanjirou’s presence, instead of each of them getting one dance each with our protagonist. That would had been a chance to show Shinobu and Mitsuri’s friendship, in which case, we would had really, really wanted to see Mitsuri’s reaction.  But, Mitsuri had a job to do in the very, very, very heavy tension and battles that ran in weekly magazines for months on end. She carried the very heavy weight of needing to provide brevity. Her silliness contrasted against all that tension was fresh air for readers who had been holding their breath (no pun intended! kinda) through so much. And man, our reliance on her for that made it hurt all the more when things suddenly got very serious for her.  But, that means she was also unable to play a heavy emotional role too early on. There wasn’t room to give her a satisfyingly emotional reaction to Shinobu or Tokitou; when after all, this is the girl who was fretting about dearly beloved Oyakata-sama, was horrified to see the explosion, angirly attacked Muzan, but was saved from certain doom almost immediately after she was taken by surprise in the Infinity Fortress, and then she’s BACK TO 100% FANGIRL MODE. Like, giiiiiiiiiirl, Oyakata-sama just diiiiiiied, tone it down a notch.  I feel like I had more to say.  OH YEAH.  WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?: To fanfic, duh.  Going back to reaction and action and producing something with sellable pacing, again, I wouldn’t risk bogging down the tension-heavy final arc with too much open sadness (less is more definitely applies when the reaction scenes were often SO GOOD), but it clearly set up the desire for it. And, the length and intensity with which a work of fiction can live rent-free in audiences’ minds is a measure of its success.  If we MUST turn to fanfiction to get that emotional closure (or force the Pillars to get theirs), then this is proof of a job well done in making us care.   Herein lies the freedom with fanfiction: It doesn’t have to be good. It doesn’t have to sell. It doesn’t have to fit a regular serialized format. Fanfic is whatever it wants, all it has to do is indulgently scratch an itch.  I have way more stomach for sappiness in fanfic than in original canon, because I have higher expectations of canon to honor writing conventions, and to make decisions that will serve the overall story, not necessarily cater to my tastes.  But fanfic? Fanfic, you are here to serve me. Dive into those characters’ dry eyes with a jackhammer and gives me their tears. I don’t care how much you have to fry their brains to do it, give it to me.  I mean, I don’t write fanfic like that, noooo. At least, not that I post publicly. Ssh. No one needs to know aaaaaall my particular canon itches I wish to have picked raw. But all the more power to people who DO post that publicly and provide a great service to all the other people with that same need.  But, in the spirit of writing fic that tries to honor the spirit of canon, I try to sprinkle the juicy emotional potential canon could have had around as needed, to draw out what I feel canon just didn’t have the opportunity to give us. It’s ultimately self-servicing for what I wish canon would had done, but my style of published fic does try to stay widely appealing as a gen fic. Everybody’s got their own balances and tastes, and that’s cool.  And that is freedom canon authors don’t have.  I’ll conclude by saying that, although we as readers collectively earned it, the ending of Kimetsu no Yaiba was too bright and happy and specifically chose bittersweet moments that would be easy to swallow (pretty smart for a quick ending), but entirely skipped all the really heavy stuff in the immediate aftermath.

And yes, as difficult (and even dull) as it would be to slog through, there’s a part of me that wants to see all that, for the sake of closure. 

And now I sleep byyyyezzzzzzzzz

[sepublic]

After the Rain!

           Finally, after all this time…

           After the Rain!

           GOD what a good episode! That ending, the voice break from Hop Pop and his brief despair, his breakdown… It was so authentic and it caught me off-guard, I love this old frog SO much, he deserves way more love in this fandom and just in general! Oh god, what if those two herons that ate Sprig and Polly’s parents were like… The same ones that Sasha and Grime fought? THAT would be interesting… Also becomes more morbid when you remember how we saw Toads get eaten alive on-screen by those herons, too; They’re not coming back.

           I was expecting there to be more info on the Calamity Box, but that seems to be about it- Just a cryptic warning! Can’t give away anything, and it makes sense; If Hop Pop knew more, his reaction to Andrias’ explanation on the music box as ‘just’ an interdimensional travel device would’ve been different. Likewise, Sprig and Polly’s parents and their deaths seemed to be unrelated to Calamity Box shenanigans, but who knows? It’s hard to see Hop Pop lying AGAIN, but I do wonder where he was when it all happened.

          This sad frog… He has his child die, and he’s trying to cope; And we finally get closure, and UGH, Sprig and Polly knowing exactly what happened and trying to comfort their old man about it… It shows just how broken this has made them and makes the ending of Hopping Mall all the more painful! Nobody in that family had anyone they were sure they could be open to and trust about it because they all felt horrible, and then this gangly human comes and brings them all together!

           Anne’s disappointment, it was just… She was just TIRED. And god, this poor girl’s going to have major trust issues, she DOES have major trust issues- And she’s probably going to have problems with taking people and things at face-value now… Even someone who loves her, who is acting out of love and protection, will lie to Anne- And then you have Sasha, possibly Marcy, probably Andrias… And she probably wants to be more mad, but it feels like she’s just too tired to be by this point; She doesn’t want to handle it right now, so she just goes off for some space. Anne just needs distance, in a show all about friends becoming more distant, becoming distant from home and family literally, travelling great distances in journeys, etc. I’m lowkey getting The Hobbit vibes now actually, Wartwood is like the Shire in a sense…

           On another note; I LOVE the callbacks to the first episode, seeing that sign with its motto, Slow to Accept, Slower to Respect, as well as the cave! Anne’s cave she slept in that we barely glimpsed in that joke flashback, we finally got to see it! God it feels so weird finally going back… Thinking on how far we’ve gone, and then expanding on that by seeing just how much more happened beforehand! I wonder if we’ll ever see more of Anne arriving in Amphibia and first adapting… And that CALLBACK to Anne being a creepy monster, with Hop Pop’s silhouette! They’re alien monsters to each other that they didn’t know what to do with, until they became family!

           Also, glad to see Soggy/Speedy Joe back! The whole part with the rain and Sprig and Polly going through the burrow was just very gorgeous and aesthetical to me, and I like how the show managed to handle the emotional consequence, yet surprisingly fluidly incorporate humor; The gag with Hop Pop trying to follow and being told not to was great, and I love the peek at his depressed face in the morning before we REALLY see it! Good on Sprig and Polly for actually getting the box back- But can you imagine, if we’d never gotten the story because of that interruption! Lo and behold, the PLOT of all things ends up interrupting the lore… Oh the hilarity. But yeah, Amphibia is a very brutal, frog-eat-frog world (sometimes literally) and Hop Pop losing his child to the local fauna… Jeez, no wonder he’s on such high alert, especially what with the number of times his kids HAVE gotten into danger!

           And I love Anne’s reaction, her betrayal, asking if Hop Pop wanted to keep her; But he just wanted HER and his family safe… And when she hears of Sprig and Polly’s parents, she HAS to listen because of Hopping Mall, because of what Sprig confided, and because she has her own desire to see her parents again! Not that they were his parents to Hop Pop, but she can get the mourning and desire to protect what family she has left, especially when losing someone; Albeit through betrayal…

           UGH it’s so cathartic finally seeing the resolution, and the wrapping-up of this emotional thread! The way it culminates with that lore and breakdown, the hesitation and betrayal, Anne briefly considering leaving the Plantars and hanging out with Marcy because of trust issues, and how THAT could’ve worsened things if Marcy betrays her too… Oof. I like that she still put it aside to save Sprig and Polly, and it seems those kids indirectly helped Anne and Hop Pop reconcile; Which reminds me of this meta a while back of Anne and Hop Pop finding more solidarity as the older members of the family… Anne really does effortlessly feel like a part of it, doesn’t she! She’s Anne Plantar Boonchuy! And the way she just hugs that old frog…

           This episode was a DELIGHT and a pay-off, and I can’t wait to meet up with Marcy soon! But we’ve also got some other threads to pick up on as well, and I wonder if we’ll ever see Apothecary Gary again; Legit I thought I spotted one of his mushrooms on those magpie beetles before I realized it was just a lamp-shroom, lol, and I liked the joke of Hop Pop not being his real name, but Anne remembers that she already knows this. All in all a wonderful batch of episodes, and here’s hoping to the next one, F-Annes!

[blonde-toddy]

Random and Not So Random thoughts while watching Bridgerton: Season 1, Episode 4

Oh they're at court.

Also she's not a commoner. She's the daughter of a Viscount.

Another Daphne brag moment, but homegirl really got the juice. She's bagging mfs over hand holding and dancing.

Violet dgaf. She's hungry now, damn it!

Oh he's buying jewelry already.

Ooooooh the way she imagines the Duke behind her. Honey yes. That scene was hot.

Too bad she came back to reality.

Hyacinth is my spirit animal.

Lady Whistledown ain't ready to write Simon off yet. She's waiting on the Dukes Hail Mary.

Shit. So am I.

I have never seen someone look so depressed in such an exquisite piece of jewelry. It's like the necklace chokes her. Testament to the acting and script for that though. It truly represents a trap.

Awww Simon is wearing that heavy bag out. I would say poor Simon, but he made this damn bed.

I love Alice and Will. They are the kind of wholesome love I need to keep my heart steady watching this damn show. She's his rider and I love it.

Alice roasting Simon over Daphne. Get. Yo. Girl. Mane.

I always cringe when a man tells a woman to smile.

Poor Marina. Portia is determined to find her the oldest mf. She's playing smart though.

Those damn dingbat sisters.

Maybe Penelope does care.

Well at least the least mean sister got a caller. They're awkward/cute.

Eloise girl, I love feathers in hair. Your one dimensional preaching is wearing me out again.

A boxing match date? I'd be down.

The prince legit seems like a nice guy. And Daphne is trying....but she's CLEARLY hung up on Simon.

Oh look Simon's losing focus on his friend because he's too focused on Daphne and the prince.

Ok mf! Take that shit off and roll them sleeves up. It turns me on too sis!

Oh look at the sweet family talk with the prince. Girl he'd give you any and everything you wanted.

But you and the Duke are just ATE TF UP about each other!

Mondrich for the win!!!!

Oh Benny. You've got a new friend. But what kind of friend? Give me more of this.

Well Anthony is smug and pleased as punch. Simons courtship of Daphne has ended. She has her perfect suitor. And Simon is leaving England to go rake and fuckboy about.

Though Simons hard slammed shot when the prince approached says he's anything but happy.

Violet always worries about the wrong shit.

Hyacinth always wants to know the good shit.

Be Hyacinth.

Oh fuck the prince is ready to propose. That shit escalated quickly.

SIMON!!!!!! Now would be a good time for that Hail Mary.

Good job Anthony. Way to realize that the women in your life have agency over THEMSELVES.

Violet always beating around the damn bush.....but she is still 100% #teamduke

Aw Daphne you're gonna break down snitching on yourself.

If it wasn't real with Simon you wouldn't be so ate up about it, and you would be rocking tf out of that necklace from the prince instead of crying.

There's a reason for the black in her outfit. For Daphne, who is normally all pastel blues, that black is her mourning. It's her 'attempting' to put to death her feelings for the Duke. And also I think mourning the loss if the bond they shared. Maybe I'm reading too much into it. But this seems like a very deliberate show with it's details.

Danbury ripping Simon open before she sends him off. Big energy.

She knows everything you thick headed mf. Why won't you just listen?! You letting your rank ass daddy live rent free in your soul.

He's so jaded it hurts.

Ayyyye this Trowbridge party looks like the real deal.

Oh gawd. Marina and the old man.

Mr. Finch and the cheese frock. Jesus who wrote this. I love it

Cressida you have been Daphnes biggest hater all season and now you're mad that she's with the prince. He was never gonna marry yo basket headed ass anyway.

Oooooh shit Simon sees the 'intimate painting' and has 2nd thoughts.

Go. Get. Yo. Girl.......Bitch.

Ooooh Benny's at the new homies spot and it's lit!

Naked models, easels, mingling between the classes. Yes indeed.

2nd sons having fun. Hell yes.

Damn Even Sienna at the ball...as a performer of course.

And Anthony looking tongue tied.

Violet....you need to chill. There take another sip.

Portia trying to shade Lady Trowbridges style is comical. Both of y'all bitches gaudy as hell.

Oh shit Phillipa lost her man.

Wtf is wrong with Lord Featherington?

And wtf are you doing Eloise?

Ayyye she just let her have it. You think servants have the time to be Lady Whistledown? I'm dead.

"Get out."

Ok Penelope with your saucy ass.

Well fuck! You just pushed him right to Marina. You played yourself boo.

Oooh the prince is about to shoot the big shot and Daphne keeps running away.

She done spotted Simon. Its over.

Fuck off Cressida.

Rip that mf necklace off girl.

Simon followed her ass outside.

"Miss Bridgerton." Motherfucker, call her Daphne.

"I came to say goodbye." Man. Go to hell.

Daphne serving those barbs. You not ready to keep playing with her.

Damn, Simon. If you're not gonna give her what she wants, get out the way.

Tell his ass sis.....even if you don't believe it yourself.

Really Simon? You stand there quiet as a mf church mouse whiles she's pleading with you to say something.....then you take off after her once she walks away from your shit

I swear.....men.....yall mfs really do shit like this. Speak up! Or...LET. ME. GO.

She's really cracking on his ass and I'm here for it....but wtf us up with his "I forbid you." Who tf are you to me? I'm glad she ain't playing with his ass.

Ooooh he called her Daphne and grabbed her.

Oh honey this is what fulfillment feels like, isn't it?

He's definitely fulFILLing her all the way up!

Oh shit Anthony caught them.

At least he finally landed some decent blows on Simon.

This RAKE ass mf still won't marry her.

Oh Simon.....for once.....Anthony is in the right and you the wrong. You are really about to die over your fucking daddy issues. Boy bye. Again.

Poor Daphne.

Wait, how did Cressida know she was in the garden?

That can't be good.

At least Benny is having a good time.

Dearest Portia, when you go looking for shit, it usually falls in your lap.

Marina keeps carrying on about Colin and Penelope is crushed.....or scheming....or both.

Aww Penelope let her hurt feelings cause a fight with her bestie. Her jealousy is seething.

Daphne still out here having to educate Anthony....though I get the need for the duel. And he still thinks he's running something.

Ooooh this is why they brought up 2nd sons.....Anthony is prepping Benny to take over. Well Benny, at least you had one good night out.

Colin caring for drunk Violet is parenting goals one day.

Oh great, now yall wanna bring Colin into the shit.

Simon raiding Wills spot for booze was so uneccesarily loud.

So Berbrooke alludes to her dishonor and Simon caves his fucking head in. Simon legit dishonors her and he's just like ,"Kay, guess I'll go get shot now." Someone get this man some therapy.

Oh great Anthony is back at Siennas door with more of his bullshit. Girl. Close that door.

No, not after you've let him in and climbed his torso. I guess y'all fuckin again.

He lost all the money and now he's fucked up.

Her face while he cried, is literally the face of every woman sick of a mediocre man's shit.

Oooh now they're all riding off into battle like the fucking idiots they are.

Colin is so pure.

I knew that Cressida shit would come back.

Well at least Anthony was willing to care for Sienna in his death....but damn mf, treat me right while WE'RE here.

Oh the dramatics of drawing a gun.

Nobody is here for Simon's weak ass apologies and I'm okay with that.

Hurry hurry Daphne.

Daphne down....but she's alright.

Call them idiots just like they are.

Simon still being a hoe about this shit. You really about let her be ostracized because you're a fuck boy.

Ultimate fuck boy line...I can't be with you because I love you too much. Fucking hell.

They do obviously love each other though.

Hold up.......you CAN NEVER, or WILL NEVER give her children. Don't play this like you have a reproductive issue.

So your reason for not marrying her is that you "can never" give her children and you know that's what her heart desires.

You playing with fire, Simon.

I wonder how much shit I let slide with his character just because he's portrayed so well by the phenomenal Regé-Jean Page.

No, I do love Simon's damaged ass. He just makes me so mad.

So the duel resumes......or not.

Daphne said, "Fuck them kids, give me my husband." Or something like that.

Well. This us an uncomfortable arrangement even though both of these idiots are in love.

Simon's evasion will most certainly come back to bite him in the ass.

But I'll be here with my popcorn and tissue, rooting for these cool kids to make it!

[jeremy-ken-anderson]

Monster Hunter Movie

Spoilers Will Be Present.

There are a lot of things one can say about the badness of the film.

To me there are two basic issues, which interconnect: Tone and Respect.

At the core of things the studio and director considered their own brands more important than the brand of their source material. This is an understandable mistake to make when you’re thinking business - after all how would you survive as a brand if you granted primacy to other brands all the time? - but concessions must be made or else you’re just appropriating the aesthetics.

That’s what happened here. And it’s half of what made the movie a bad movie.

I went in expecting it to be real bad and as a result I was only mildly disappointed in some missed opportunities as opposed to legit incensed the way some MH bloggers are. But I do not blame them for being angry.

The plot, basically, is: Some army folks include Artemis, who you probably know is the main character because a) she’s the captain b) she’s Milla Jovovich and c) she’s the character you played as in the movie crossover event in MH World two weeks prior. They’re looking for Bravo Team when they get sucked into a dimensional rift and dropped in the land of Monster Hunter. So far so Isekai.

They encounter a Black Diablos which doesn’t act much like the monster from the games. Also a hunter played by Tony Jaa fires a paint bomb warning shot at them - It’s unclear whether he was trying to get them to leave or just thought the paint bomb would let them know they were in mortal danger.

The Black Diablos kills one of them and they run into some rocky terrain to escape.

This turns out to be the nest of roughly a thousand Nerscylla - horrible spider monsters. These kill everyone else over the course of an 11-minute, uh, tribute to Starship Troopers I guess we’ll call it. Artemis survives. There’s a 20-second sequence I thought was very good as a scene but belonged in a non-MH film, where she escapes the nest where she just watched eggs on her buddy burst with baby Nerscylla and then suddenly rips off her army gear to check herself for eggs in this frenzied panic. Seemed like both a smart thing to do and a reasonable trauma response to expect from someone.

But it shouldn’t have happened at all.

Backing it up, the 11 minutes before it shouldn’t have happened.

Nerscylla isn’t a pack hunter. They don’t grow in gigantic broods. But more than that the whole scene was...mean-spirited, and ugly.

Something that is important to understand about Monster Hunter as a franchise is that the seriousness of the stakes - the town is always under attack, or some ancient species of monster has awoken, or some new deviant mutation is driving smaller monsters into settled areas - is always, ALWAYS tempered by a fundamental directorial optimism. I think this film may be the first Monster Hunter thing where anyone dies and we see it happening. There have certainly been characters who mourned or wanted vengeance (more in the manga than the games) but that’s always something that happened before what we’re watching, and that’s really important to the tone.

Jovovich also has absurd plot armor, which, frankly, would have been fine - possibly even admirable - if they’d been adhering to the “nobody dies on screen” rule. Having someone get blasted across the landscape and get knocked out for a bit...as a player I’d have found this hilarious. As it is, there’s definitely a “why is this lady still alive” vibe that keeps cropping up because the movie’s taken a lot of time telling us that people in its setting are fragile chunks of meat that can be torn asunder at any moment.

Anyway, after all this trauma she encounters Tony Jaa and they fight. Why? Probably because he’s a martial artist and they wanted to get some mileage out of that fact. This is extremely dumb. Again, the only place where I’ve seen anything more than casual ribbing between humanoids in anything MH is the manga, and even there it didn’t come to blows. And within the context of this film these people have no reason to think the other’s an enemy and two extremely deadly reasons - the nearby monsters - to work together. Both have been presented as smart enough to know this. But fight scene. Long, stupid fight scene.

The fight nearly becomes fatal, and they realize it’s dumb. There’s another 5-10 minutes of bonding. This is fine! Jovovich and Jaa have decent chemistry (never aimed at romance, which is kind of refreshing) and there’s a really cute Demon Mode reference and also a product placement that turns out later to be a pretty cool linguistic joke (she gives him chocolate, calls it chocolate, he later uses the word chocolate to mean tasty).

They have a plan to get Nerscylla venom and use it to hurt Diablos, maybe paralyze or put it to sleep, so they can get across the dunes it’s guarding toward Jaa’s team and the dimensional storm Jovovich came through from.

The venom doesn’t visibly have any effect, which makes the whole planning thing feel wasteful.

Also, everyone’s use of the basic Alloy and Bone set of weapons gives people who’ve played MH the impression that none of these hunters have successfully hunted any monsters ever. One of the core points with the games is the loop of fighting monsters, carving them up, and using their parts to make weapons and armor you use against other monsters. But more than that, the presence of monster-armor on your npc fellow hunters in camp makes the world feel lived in, makes the people feel like part of the ecosystem.

So with a bunch of needless gore, they kill the Diablos. I actually was kind of excited that she carved a piece off of it - ah, she was going to make armor or weapons out of this near-bulletproof monster’s hide! No, she made a pallet to carry Tony Jaa, who got hurt in the fight. Then when he can walk they leave the big ol’ scale behind. OK.

Did I mention Ron Perlman’s in this film? Well he is, and while it’s a good visual match to have him as The Admiral he’s also - like the film at large - not optimistic enough. The character he’s playing is an old warrior who’s survived tons of battles and laughs in the face of danger. Perlman’s rendition is moody and serious, which once there are fight scenes is a mismatch with his fighting style.

Like I said way up top, there’s a willingness to use the aesthetics of the beloved franchise. Just not the themes. They aren’t willing to present things from a Monster Hunter Franchise perspective, because these gritty, brutal worlds are the brand of this director. When the franchise he was working with was Resident Evil, gritty, gory brutality was a brand match and the resulting film was one of the better video game movies out there (yes, I know that’s not a high bar). Here, it led to a movie with a lot of visually beautiful work but a tone that seems directly disrespectful to its source material.

So that’s a problem.

I said the tone made one of the two big problems. The other would be an issue even if I knew nothing about Monster Hunter, which is a series of structural flaws in the direction - mostly around the pacing of the film.

Army opener, fine. Trying to set up rapport. Diablos fight, too long. Nerscylla scene, WAY too long. Jaa-Jovovich fight, WAY too long. Bonding scene, fine. Planning to fight Diablos, too long. Diablos fight, fine. Jaa’s desert near-death experience, too long (didn’t need to happen at all). Jungle region, a little long but not bad. Rathalos encounter, fine. Ship scene, exposition dump, long and also boring. Rathalos fight...

The Rathalos burns two hunters to death on screen. See above, this is bothersome. It’s also chucking people across the landscape. Jovovich gets tossed into a portal back to earth.

Also off a cliff. We’re back to the “how’s she alive?” problem. She gets rescued by the army, they start to take her for treatment, the helicopter is attacked by the Rathalos.

For a tonal mismatch this is probably the best scene. I think this idea, very Reign of Fire, is what the director really wanted from the film. MH monsters in NYC, Lagiacrus attacking surfers from underwater, all that. We couldn’t afford those sets, so we get a dragon attacking army toys in a desert.

Dragon wins. I honestly appreciated the sale of how a dragon could win this engagement. I think the direction and editing successfully created a scene where the army losing the fight felt plausible.

Of course, this makes Jovovich and Jaa taking it down feel a bit much, but okay.

And we finish with what amounts to a tease of the idea of a series. I don’t get the sense that this is a genuine appeal. I think the “idea of more fights” is the ending. It doesn’t work, mind you, but this has become a kind of trope for one way to end a video game movie.

The thing I like least about this trope is that to hype up the audience the characters in the film all seem suddenly excited to be engaging in the activity we’ve been shown to be terrifying and deadly for the whole film. NOW they think it’s fun.

And that’s an extra layer of disappointment, because it indicates that we could have been having fun this whole time, if the director weren’t obsessed with brutality.

[syubub]

Jungkook energy checkup

Still fragile is a big one. Like, he's doing okay but he's just constructed this new version of himself but the glue is still drying. Lack of confidence. Might be in relation to songwriting or the pressure of the new self produced album. He wants everything to be perfect but he doesn't necessarily think that he is capable of creating perfection. Coming out of sadness or time of misfortune, mostly internal. Coming out of depression. His big ole' energy cloud has started to subside and now he's getting his bearings.

The scene that pops into my head is like, right after a tornado fucks everything up and nothing is where it was before and sky is still dark and things are overwhelming but you know its over. And jk is just walking around this little town taking note of all the things that have changed. He isn't scared though, I mean he is but its not the same. He's different. He's calm and back with a passion. Things needed to be leveled to the ground within himself so that he can observe what really matters and now he has room to build new things that work a little better. He's sort of mourning the past, this old town but it's because it was comfortable. Now that he's been forced to face himself, its like he isn't afraid to move forward. Salvage the good things and move forward.

From this also I get a sense that he has sort of separated himself into before bts and bts jk. He tried to get rid of past him but that didnt work very well so he tried to seperate them and that didn't work so now he's realizing that he can incorporate them together? Like he doesn't have to be the old version or the new version. He can just be? Idk of that made any sense at all but... yeah.

Revising bad habits. A little stingy or careful right now. He might be looking for control a bit more. For some reason VPN kept coming up in my head. Legit don't think that has to do with control but idk, I'm not gonna argue with the baby. He is probably working out more too. He doesn’t want to step on toes so he's got some residual anxiety around every little thing that he does. Maybe a little stressed. Too much at once. ( either perceived or real) lack of real balance. Things feel off kilter. Maybe feels unproductive or like hes slacking in his job. A big piece is missing after all. Army. Concerts. He prepared to see everyone, to show his love, to share his passion and that didn’t happen. Seeing army is a time of healing for him? Like, it helps remind him why he gave up his youth, why he continues to go even when it hurts and he wants to quit. He misses us.

Over all he has an air of renewed passion to him.

Things that I wrote down while doing the reading:

Me time

I'm doing better.

Big things in a couple of weeks? (Idk what this is about but we have 4 3 2 in the cards, so maybe within a month tops? No fucking clue my dude.)

Getting my shit together.

Don't worry, I'm working it out.

Vulnerability isn't weak.

I'm not weird, right?

I'm growing into myself.

Things I heard when I looked at the oracle cards:

I'm learning to cleanse my energy. (does he soak energy up? I wouldn't be surprised)-cleanse your energy

I define myself and I am worthy the way I am- in the world not of the world

Its okay not to be okay yadayada

Its the double edge of freedom. Idk what that's os supposed to mean really but I can guess that freedom grants you the ability to do what you truly want to do but you have to deal with the anxiety that comes with it because their is less of a safety net. (This most likely is related to the album or mix tape)

TLDR: Googie is the goodest boi and he is trying his best. Please love him. Also complement his earings and tell him that he is doing well.

[northlight14]

Feeling sentimental so this is a thank you to Thomas Sanders. I’ve only been watching your videos for about a year now and you and your friends have already changed my life for the better.

I’m not exadurating when I say you’ve taught me more than my school has in a long time. Not only that, but you manage to make it entertaining. The result being that now, while I don’t understand half of what my teachers are trying to tell me, I’m am 100% prepared to explain the basics of Max Stirners philosophy ‘the ego and it’s own’ should the opportunity arise. I was able to tell my mum who Imanuel Kant was when he was mentioned in a tv show as well as reassure her that they weren’t saying a very different word😂

It’s also because of your Q & Gay videos and Joan that I realised I’m asexual. When I first watched them, I identified as bisexual because I was confusing the different types of attraction. However, I knew something was up but I didn’t know why. Joan basically explained in the follow up to Q & gay pt. 2 that they would find people really beautiful but then think “oh but I don’t want to sleep with them so I guess I’m not?” And my immediate reaction to that was “wait...that’s what’s supposed to happen?! Wait-I’m supposed to want to do what??!!” And after a few weeks/months of questioning and research, I started identifying as asexual which then lead me to also identifying as aromantic. Joan being in that video and being allowed to talk about their experiences stopped me from potentially experiencing a lot of confusion and pain. It’s because of the both of you that I found a community of people I could relate to and supported me. Not only that, but it was a fander online that first told me I was welcomed and accepted into the ace community.💜

It’s also because of sander sides that I found a lot of musicals that I’m really into. Beetlejuice, be more chill, dear Even Hansen. I found all these musicals and so much more really cool stuff because of animatics based around your characters. And it was musicals like DEH that really helped me during my hardest time in my life so far. I wouldn’t have had that if it wasn’t for you and your friends inspiring so many people.

You’ve also helped me and my relationship with intrusive thoughts. I grew up religious and while I’m not super strict I still love my God. However, DWIT was a massive eye opener for me, especially when Logan says “five out of the seven deadly sins are committed in your head.” Legit, has to take a moment to think about that for a second.😂 I honestly can’t express how happy I felt when I realised I didn’t have to hate myself for having intrusive thoughts. That it wasn’t something I needed to be punished for and that they just happen. Since then I’ve been working on accepting them as a natural part of me and have made loads of progress.

Despite not being my favourite episode, moving on pt. 2 is the episode that means the most to me so far. To provide a bit of context, I used to be best friends with someone a while ago. What I didn’t know, however, is that she was a very toxic person. I’m not going to go into detail (mostly cuz there is no real point and I don’t really wanna think about it again) but basically after gaining my trust and isolating me from all my other friends, she started bullying me. She told me that she hated me and proceeded to call me names. Please keep in mind I thought of her as my best friend and at the time and she was pretty much my only ‘friend’. She then later apologised but then repeated this the next year accept with our mutual friend joining in with the name calling. 3 years later and she was (and is) no longer in my life. However, for some reason I couldn’t stop thinking about everything that happened. Everything she did. I honestly couldn’t remember a single good memory with her and the few foggy ones I could recover felt really fake. But then I realised something. A part of me missed her. As screwed up as it sound, there was a part of me that once loved her and I think I missed having that version of her in my life. I never got the chance to mourn the loss of that friendship. I was trying desperately to get closure but didn’t know how to do it. I was so confused. Why did I missed her after all these years? Why couldn’t I just let things go when everyone else had? Why did I still hold onto everything that happened? I know moving on is about something complete different but a lot of it rang really close to home. “One step at a time, kiddo. I’m rooting for ya.” “How you’re reacting for however long is completely normal-not bad, not strange, not stupid.” “Moving on is not the same as moving forward.” I cannot express how much I needed to hear that (and those are just the quotes I remember off the top of my head.) That video really helped me when I was trying desperately to gain some type of closure while grieving a now dead friendship. It remains to be the episode I value the most because of the role it had in my grieving process.

While moving on means the most to me, a close second to that is “embarrassing phases.” (No, not just because I’m a Virgil Stan who loves Halloween. That’s just a bonus.) Speaking as a teen still going through phases, that episode honestly took the words out my mouth. A lot of the time I’ll feel really insecure about liking certain things and I was kind of falsely taught that phases are a bad thing. That they’re just artificial. I felt like I was just faking being I was/am because “it’s just a phase.” When you said “whoever you are right now, you’re real. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” I honestly wanted to start crying. I didn’t realise how much I needed to hear that.

And finally, the most recent TSS video POF seriously felt like you’d read my mind. At the time of its upload I was thinking about a lot of morality issues and struggling with them, feeling guilty for not being able to contribute more and help people, feeling guilty for being selfish sometimes and also desperately trying to find a balance between selfishness vs selflessness. So, yeah, I’m sure you can see how I was able to relate to it😂. I’m still struggling with a lot of that tbh but it’s good to know I’m not alone in my feelings and to be able to gain some form of clarity on the topic.

To put a long story short, Thomas, I’ve only been watching your videos for about a year now and you and your friends have changed my life so much already. I seriously can’t thank you enough for that. You and your friends are amazing people and I’m so greatful for you all. Love ya💚💜

@thatsthat24

[offbrand-outlaw]

More RDR2 HCs no one asked for

Hosea very much feels like a single dad. I mean he has Dutch but honestly? Dutch is just as much as a child as everyone else.

"Hosea! Hosea!" "Yes, Dutch?" "Herr Strauss took the last cup of coffee!" "...and?" "Yell at him."

Uncle and Swanson will get into incoherent drunk arguments and it is the best entertainment the camp ever has.

10/10 would get them drunk again

When Sadie first joined she was in mourning and the women were gentle with her. After a while, though, all the women love to rile her up about the stupid stuff the men do so she'll roast them.

Hosea overhears the thing Sadie says and he nearly died he was laughing so hard. Like he is walking back to the main camp fire with all the other men and he is wheezing

They just think its his cough

The image of Dutch as an "angry peacock" will keep him awake at night

Sean likes to dance when he's hardcore drunk. He'll just grab the nearest person and get down with them. This has led to him attempting to dip Lenny.

Lenny was also drunk so he had fun even if they fell over.

Reverend Swanson and Herr Strauss slow dance when no one is looking, but both are too flustered and stumble over each other.

Bill is always the first person to get in trouble with Hosea.

When he does stay up later for their parties, the women love dancing with Jack. He'll make them all flower crowns and have a good time with them.

He has caught Strauss and Swanson dancing. A lot. He tells everyone about it.

Strauss and Swanson won't talk about it. They are red for days. Jack makes them matching flower crowns to make them feel better.

John wanted to be a treasure hunter when he was younger. Arthur still teases him about it.

Arthur once fell over and dropped all the freshly chopped wood into a puddle of water. John still teases him about it.

Everyone knows Strauss still struggles with American things, so they indulge him in some of his Austrian habits. Bill doesn't understand because he thought Strauss was Australian???

When ever Dutch talks them all into doing something stupid, they all get in trouble and Hosea will sit them all down and scold them.

Y'all know Agent Andrew Milton? Yeah, he's a Pinkerton on the streets but a total baby in every other aspect of his life.

Trees? Bugs? The open plains and untamed wilderness? Wack. He's a city boi who loves luxury.

A funny looking bug jumped on his pants leg and he was in tears.

Honestly, the Van der Linde gang are just a gang of children in their free time and Hosea and the women are the only adults.

Milton, once while trying to negotiate with the gang to give in, legit fell over and everyone laughed. THAT'S the real reason he wants to take them all down.

I recently finished my third play through and I have so many HCs I wanna share. They might be Wack but they're my HCs so of course they Wack.

[zalrb]

TVD 3x01 Review

1. I find it hilarious during this recap when you hear Katherine’s voice “Does Elena enjoy having the two of you worship at her altar” the SE scene is mutual, with Elena and Stefan cuddling at the lakehouse and the DE scene is when Damon broke into Elena’s room and stroked her face as she slept.

2. JoMo doing an American accent is always weird. It doesn’t even look like he’s speaking, it looks like he’s mouthing the words and someone else is speaking.

3. “Kill this one quickly, make that one suffer.” TVD and their casual anti-blackness.

4. I feel like the song Elena wakes up to was in Grey’s. Probably.

5. I’ll do it for initiumseries: FORWOOOOOOOOOOD.

6. “Sleep in your dead parents’ room or my dead girlfriend’s...” NICE ONE, ALARIC. I’m telling you guys, John was the only real adult on this show.

7. I like how Damon stopped compelling Andie so that’s supposed to mean he’s a better person and it’s like, but their entire “relationship” was still predicated on him compelling her and feeding on her and using her as a soundboard for his stupid Elena “problems”. When Stefan kills her, I feel bad for her because she doesn’t deserve that but I do not feel bad for Damon and DErs who say that it’s comparable to Damon killing Lexi are ridiculous.

8. Also Damon purposefully showing up around Elena naked is not cute.

9. HIS HAIR IS SO STUPID.

10. Looking at Damon I’m just like LMAO remember that time those anons tried to argue with me about Ian being more jacked than Paul?

11. Also Elena actually just looks uncomfortable with him so close, she doesn’t look tempted or hot and bothered or seduced, she looks like he’s in her personal space.

12. “See you at the party...” Andie, you are a grown ass woman. You are a news anchor. Why would you even WANT to go to an 18 y/o girl’s birthday party?

13. The season they made Jeremy a dick to Bonnie. Ugh.

14. Awww Forwood denials. Their stares are so cute.

15. Cut your hair, Damon.

16. Seriously, cut your fucking hair.

17. I always thought Stefan’s ripper psychology with humanity was really interesting and we didn’t get into it enough.

18. “Just because I tell you things doesn’t mean you’re allowed to know them!” Seriously, Caroline was peak teen girl until about this season when she had nothing to do.

19. This Forwood scene always makes me giggle and feel super uncomfortable just because of the way Michael STARES at Candice.

20. “It’s like I can’t turn it off.” “...yeah.” Such the right amount of awkward.

21. Burning down a house isn’t covering tracks though? Just because the bodies are burnt doesn’t mean that the coroner can’t see that the victims’ heads were decapitated and or tell that they were dead before the fire started.

22. Or that the house was set fire because of arson.

23. Klaus looks so turned on at watching Stefan torture people. Jfc.

24. Paul also does a much better job at the emotionless/robotic soldier than Ian did.

25. “You saved my brother’s life, I’m in your service.” “Aw, you make it sound so tedious and indentured.” Klaus just wants you to love him, Stefan.

26. I’m not even going to get into the necklace scene because I get into it so many times: https://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/148984820350/can-you-give-examples-of-delena-retconned-moments

https://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/168069600195/do-you-want-a-meta-on-why-its-earned-or-how-its

27. I will say that it’s honestly just such a flatly acted scene and Nina and Ian look stiff. There’s a reason why DErs cut the gifs of this scene

because when Elena looks at Damon full on, she’s dead in the face.

28. And Damon does not look age appropriate. At all.

29. “What’s got you on your spiral downward?” It’s a joint. It’s not like when he was a fucking drug dealer in season 1.

30. “I love high school parties.” Because you are a predator, Damon.

31. The cinematography for the Stefan-stalking-Andie scene is pretty good though.

32. “Well you’ve only said five words to me all summer and those were four of them.” Lol. I like Forwood but I did like Maroline too.

33. “What the hell??” I like how Tyler acts like he can’t just follow Sophie out of the party and continue the party with her at his house?

34. It would also be super weird for students to see one of their teachers at a party.

35. “You have to admit you’re kind of just letting your life pass you by.” I mean I get it but it’s also been 2 months of summer, Caroline. But I’ve always said that Caroline wasn’t really a fighter when it came to being IN relationships with the exception of Matt. Yes, I include Tyler in this too. As friends, she was a fighter but in a relationship, not so much.

36. “You want me to make a wish? I just want to know that he’s alive. That’s it.  That’s my wish.” And it came true :)

37. Those heels look awkward on Nina.

38. And this is the thing about Andie’s death. We saw Stefan shoot Elena up to a ferris wheel in season 2. We see them jump up onto a roof in season 5. Damon couldn’t jump up and get Andie? TVD is shitty with circumstances surrounding death which is why, I respect Stefan’s choice to save Matt in 3x22 but hate the execution of him saving her.

39. Matt: You’re more stoned than I am (even though Zach is acting drunk not high) Jeremy: But I’m a high functioning stoner.

40. “ExUSe me.” LOL I always think that part is hilarious.

41. “Stefan’s gone and he’s not coming back” *touches necklace* DE symbol my ass.

42. “You still care for your brother, for your old life.“ CAN’T YOU SEE I WANT YOU FOR MYSELF?

43. Alaric was being super selfish leaving them. Jenna was your sometimes girlfriend but she was their aunt and [shitty] guardian.

44. Those were shitty heels, man.

45. FORWOOD SEX. Steroline could never. Candice was not moaning like that with Paul. It was bad.

46. You know, instead of Damon trashing Stefan’s room what would’ve made him look better is him being with Andie’s body and mourning her.

47. Why does Stefan have a guitar in his room?

48. One of my favourite SE scenes. Legit it’s a beautiful scene. An entire episode of them being apart, of everyone telling Elena to give up, of Stefan seemingly uncaring, Elena nearly missing the call and then the breath of fresh air that comes with the call.

[stormbornspawn]

Season 8 Game of Thrones predictions

These predictions are entirely my opinion. Would love to hear thoughts, but please be kind in the comments. Just because I don’t support a theory or storyline is not a reason to attack. Adult, civil discussion is always welcome. I am operating under the assumption that Friki’s information is legit and that Tyrion will be a part of some kind of betrayal.

Arya Stark - 90% survival rate - she fights until the end and will possibly help The Hound take out the Mountain - he is still on her list. The only way I can see her dying is in some kind of surprise attack, but she is supposedly present in the DP according to Friki’s info.

Sansa Stark - 80% survival rate - i don’t foresee her picking up a sword, but she will be instrumental in the battle of Winterfell in preparing the common folk, being ready to retreat with a certain signal, getting people out through the crypt tunnels, and exacting the retreat plans. Beyond her getting people out safely and retreating south - The Vale, maybe, I can see her being important in the politics of things and possibly uncovering information about Tyrion’s betrayal. The only way I can see her dying is if Cersei gets hold of her or she falls during the WF battle. Again - she is supposed to be present at the DP as well.

Bran - 90% survival rate - he will be instrumental in tracking the Night King’s movements and will be fiercely protected. He will also find out how to defeat the NK, whether that is how to forge Lightbringer (no Jon will not stab Dany), or something they have to do at the Altar of Winter, I don’t know. If he does fall, it will be as a sacrifice to the NK to save humanity - but he’s supposedly present at the DP.

Jon Snow (Aegon Targaryen) - 50/50 survival rate - he’ll be in the thick of things until the end, but may fall trying to save his family. I lean towards safe because he’s carrying huge plot armor having died once already. He’s legendary status whether he lives or dies. I am liking the theory of him giving himself up to Cersei and double crossing her with the Golden Company. She thinks she’s won, but they end up declaring for the Targs because they offer them back their lands and titles.

Daenerys Targaryen - 50/50 survival rate - she has baby plot armor and I really can’t see her dying in childbirth. What a horrible ending for her. It would be 100% bitter giving her a child and then she can never be a mother to him/her. Not okay and I really don’t see this happening as I believe that BoatSexBaby’s info is correct in that the baby is endgame. If she dies it will be post-birth by sacrificing herself to save the realm or to save Jon. There’s also a possibility that she is killed by someone she trusts or they attempt to kill her. She will also hold Legendary status whether alive or dead.

Jon/Dany relationship - there will be some initial tumult, but they will stay together and fight together no matter what because they promised each other and they are people who take their oaths seriously. I think the romance part will cool off some after the parent reveal as they stand in limbo with their relationship, but after the baby reveal, none of it will matter - they are the last Targaryens and it’s no coincidence that they found each other and fell in love - it’s a fate/destiny thing. I know the incest freaks some people out, but this is not a 2019 modern setting. It’s meant to be like a medieval society and those types of relationships were typical to retain lands and grow houses. So, if that bothers you - sorry, but it’s not going to matter in the long run. And if you really want to get technical, take a look into the British monarchy - loads and loads of incest and that’s real life, folks.

Tyrion Lannister - i believe Friki’s info to be true and with that assumption, Tyrion will 100% die. The only question is if Dany or Jon will pass the sentence. I think this is the big shock that is going to leave the fandom numb, shocked, and in need of therapy. If Dany passes the sentence, which I think she will, that will further divide the fandom especially those who already see Dany in a negative light. She’s my fave, but she’s not perfect. I welcome civil discussion o that point, but won’t tolerate blatant Dany hate (or any hate of a character really). I believe his betrayal will stem from the want to protect Cersei’s unborn child and he will set something in motion that rests on her having the baby - which we all know isn’t happening. It will blow up in his face. Some may think he was correct and the rest will think he deserves to die - this is what will fuck people up.

Jaime Lannister - 100% dead. He has to fulfill his redemption arc, so I think he will die saving either the Stark girls or Dany. Sorry.

Cersei Lannister - 100% dead - no question. It’s only how she dies that is a mystery. I like the theory that she kills herself with poison so that nobody can have the satisfaction of killing her. She’s going out on her own terms. She will fuck some shit up though. She will not go quietly into the night. :)

Mountain & Hound - dead

Brienne - 90% survival rate - she will mourn for Jaime, and no, I don’t think they will hook up - they might admit their feelings, but I don’t see that happening on screen - she will serve the Starks for the rest of her life. If she does die, it will be protecting Arya or Sansa

Gendry - 100% survival - restores House Baratheon through legitimization. Not sure if he and Arya will take things to the next level.

Pod - dead

Bronn - dead and likely complicit in Tyrion’s betrayal somehow

Davos - 100% survival rate - I will have it no other way. He’s supposedly present at the DP.

Qyburn - dead

Robin Arryn - 100% alive - present at DP and probably won’t see much more of him beyond a few scenes

Tormund - dead fighting the White Walkers

Beric - dead but not before resurrecting someone, maybe Dany or Arya - restitution for him selling Gendry to Mel

Melisandre - dead fighting the NK

Varys - dead - possibly part of the betrayal

Missandei - 100% lives - ride or die

Greyworm - 50/50 - alive because he’s a badass mother fucker; dead because it’s war and shit happens

Jorah - 100% dead - saving Dany or Jon

Ghost - 100% dead - don’t even talk to me

Rheagal - 100% dead - for real, say nothing

Drogon - 50/50 - I will lose my shit

Jon and Dany’s kid - 100% happening and surviving

I think the birth of the baby will happen concurrently with the trial. In essence, the rebirth of a great house and the death of another.

I think the iron throne will be gone and the it will be a parliamentary type government where each realm holds its autonomy but agree to certain inalienable conditions.