#he really is kitty’s afterlife dad

[silverfox-hunter]

BBC Ghosts Series 5, episode 3 - Pineapple Day

[interestofthemonth]

Alastor includes himself on couples' dates.

He follows Cherri and Pentious on a date every now and then just solely to be a nuisance. Cause some mayhem on the night out. Kill a waiter here, blow up a building there. It nearly ruins the dates every time, but Cherri is a freak and finds positive twists each time. "That waiter was my second cousin who was a dick anyway, at least I don't have to see him at family reunions now." "I'm an arsonist, what part of the building exploding did you think was gonna be a turn-off for me?" He continues to tag along out of the sheerest of boredoms.

Going along with Chaggie is more common. Charlie can (and has) straight up invited Al on dates. Hell's princess takes any bonding opportunity she can get - especially with Alastor who is most standoff-ish during her redemption lessons. It drives Vaggie mad how he worms his way into their day, but she loves her girl because of that impossibly good heart of hers so she always allows it. Charlie is just so happy to have a second dad who is interested in her life the hotel's benefactor take an interest in their way of life. As a trio, they'll take walks around the city, visit art museums (i would love to see the type of art a museum from Hell keeps), and go on picnics together. Tame to the point of tedious, but Al still enjoys the company and Vaggie's sour face.

But when Husk and Angel start having actual dates? 8/10 times Alastor is with them. Mostly bc he lives to be an annoyance for Husk. Cause, you know, Husk actually tries to be romantic for Angel Dust. After a life of repression and an afterlife of abuse, Angel doesn't really have a sense of romance even though he has a longing for it. The former Overlord wants to give him everything he deserves. They go to carnivals, to the drive-in theatres, to the beach, ice skating, dancing, stargazing. However, a candle-lit dinner looses some flare when your cannibal boss orders toes as an appetizer for the table. But Angel is still smiling so Husk is satisfied. Without knowing it, Al being a creep ends up helping Angel get better into the rhythm of going on real dates. It takes some of the pressure off of him to be perfect - to not fuck things up like he knows he always does. Plus Angel kind of likes Al - they both have a certain . . . draw to entertainment. Can't be bored for too long. So every now and then, they team up to cause chaos have fun and the poor kitty hangs his head as he goes along with his boyfriend's and contractor's every whim. Occasionally Al will bring Niffty as his plus one, claiming he needs to air her out a little bit so she might as well join their fun. Those turn into the most hectic nights but also the ones with the most laughter. And, truth be told, despite how everyone thinks Charlie is the biggest Huskerdust shipper (practically crying rainbows when they first became official) Alastor can and will do everything in his power to keep these fools together. He gets far too much enjoyment out of the pair. Hell, he starts looking forward to Thursday night swing dancing dates. The Radio Demon third wheels so hard to the point that he is a salty, bitter bitch for weeks after finding out Angel assigned Fat Nuggets as Best Man for their (imaginary) wedding. His temper tantrum ends when the couple tell him he can be the officiant.

[vegaseatsass]

What would make Great better than Tawan is the fact Great just... doesn't have much grandeurs about what he is and what he wants from life. So whatever Vegas has plans for, he will stay out of it and let the professionals get their hands dirty handle it. He is there to be cute and offer hole.

He just wants affection attention, and he WILL dig his cute little kitty claws into the nearest source of it and milk it for what it's worth until said source (read: Vegas) literally kills him, to which he will still say "Oh, and what a way to go this was!" in afterlife.

Vegas would totally Fasai the hell out of Korn. "You don't want me to ruin your family? Get on your knees, handsome, and I will think about it," and at least Korn will SOMEWHAT enjoy it (and maybe find out some exciting news about himself like the joys of bottoming to someone smaller than you).

Oh yes please have no fear, when I said I want Great to be one of Vegas's Tawans I firmly meant as like, one of the many many boytoys with rings on their fingers who chase Vegas no matter how badly Vegas treats them, everything Pete has to fear in his darkest moments that he's become post-canon. Not as like Great is at all Tawanish in personality or behavior. Great doesn't need to take 29128923 showers to self-soothe, he's got a cat, and he likes a dipping neckline, not a dipping arm hole, thank you!!! And importantly, like you said, he's not delusional at all, just full to bursting with death wishes and desperation.

My real thing is I just think it would be so funny and difficult for Vegas to deal with a doppelganger (Vegas, whose body is a weapon, having an identical body handed to him like a gift he can unwrap or hurt as much as he pleases) who's completely obsessed with him. And unlike Pete who can really see through Vegas and get to the heart of him, Great would happily buy into whatever front Vegas tries on for the day. So Vegas is getting this unconditional affection but it's not from someone genuinely good at people like Porsche or good at seeing him like Pete, it's from someone terrible at people with completely bizarre alien reactions to things who simply devotes himself to Vegas no matter how blatantly he lies to him, and turns on his family like it's nothing.

Imo a deep part of Vegas would be soooooooo helplessly drawn to the affection and attention, and the "person who looks like me but treats me/the world kindly instead of ruthlessly" of it all, but because there's no motivation to STOP being his lying sleazy fake as fuck worksona, Vegas would be a man at war with himself, full of contempt at Great for buying in but admiration for Great for choosing something with his whole heart and not caring what his dad demands of him, and of addiction to the love and intimacy Great pours his way... which then makes Vegas turn the contempt back on himself for being weak/vulnerable/stupid, rebounding once more at Great. And on and on.

I JUST THINK THEY WOULD BE NEAT!!!

But yes Vegas would Fahsai Korn and Korn would fucking like it. That is a man who is made to be shoved to his knees and told what to do. His life would be so much more peaceful and stress-free if he just embraced it!

[macawritesupdates]

Little Hana was so cute in the latest chapter of Yuuji files. I think Sukuna has the right idea ok clearly the weed must be encouraged. Love how everyone but toji has a job this is a household of hard workers. I was going to say this is a responsible household but typing that out nearly broke my phone so apparently it can't handle blatant lies. I'm so so proud of the curses especially jogo I hope his hot spring thrives so much he gets elevated to a minor deity like that one cat that became a patron god of a train station. I hope they make plushies and they become an international hit like hello kitty and gudetama. Poor Megumi it can't be easy to learn your best friend brought your dead beat dad back from the afterlife and is letting him crash at his house. At least he can enjoy a bit of schadenfreude when Gojo gives him a hard time. Ahh poor Gojo I feel for him but man he had no idea how good he has it compared to his cannon self. I'm not even a Gojo fan really but I do feel bad for the guy. At least here in Yuuji files he's surrounded by partners who love him and new friends and is valued for more than his strength. Love pandas tea saving the day and even making Sukuna act all sweet. Can we give some of that tea to cannon. Please Maca they're dying over there everybody needs a sip. A very fun read I love the Yuuji files! Thanks for writing and sharing with us!!

This is a household of a few responsible adults and the rest are just being told to be responsible at knife point otherwise they would go out and be a public nuisance XD

Poor Yuuji just said bring someone important back and death god went got you fam and brought Toji back XD Yuuji too nice to just leave Toji out in the streets....so now Toji is in the Itadori house rehab lol

Wanted to give Gojo some love this chapter and have his companions help him ; w ; He is well cared for in the Yuuji Files and has a full-time protection squad for sure! And was fun to give Panda a little love...and yeah, the canon people need some of this heavenly tea!

Glad you enjoyed the chapter! Makes me smile that people still love and read this fic <3 means so much to get comments on it still!

[mood2you]

The Magician's Assistant, by Ann Patchett

Book Review Reviews: answering 1-star reviews questions or formatting them into questions to answer. This has spoilers... go read it and come back!

Is this really Ann Patchett? This is only her third novel.

Why was the story only mildly intriguing? Why 350 pages when the book can be summed in one paragraph? It's basically one long joke, but you need all that time to get the characters to trust each other, so it can't be a short story.

Why was Sabine satisfied with living a half-life? This is a really good question, and several reviewers give evidence: only the assistant, married to a gay man, makes architectural models, not buildings. I didn't notice. I have 3 guesses: she's repressed, perhaps she's waiting for something. She went out of her way to buy men's pants for herself, that's a different thing from wearing Phan's cloths in his memory (or in the memory of Parsifal who bought them for him on a trip etc.) Admittedly a good trans guy would start some of the discord one reviewer complained was blissfully absent from their marriage. Or she's their daughter: Phan is always kissing her forehead, now he's looking after her and reassuring her, and he's the one who wanted kids when Parsifal hates them. Parsifal was basically presenting him a mixed family, when they met. One thing about this book is it barely has any dialogues between Sabine and Parsifal, maybe Paraifal is just that great. forgot my third guess, she's aromantic. A book has 2 gay characters and you stop looking, why shouldn't the whole book be gay? Maybe reviewers are missing... something. She can't date Kitty, that's stupid, but they should stay entangled. Oh I remembered my fourth guess: much like Dot and Kitty, she made a silly choice as a 20 year old and wouldn't let go. Granted, Albert and Howard are abusive.

Why was the literary symbolism so clumsy and obvious? So that I could understand it! The reviewer points to their last name being fetter (like handcuffs, I think, as in, you will never leave our little town... unless? Unless you're Harry Houdini or the wife of Harry Houdini) but that's actually German for feather (like flying, like freedom.) Yet Parsifal doesn't do dove tricks... (I might be taking that personally, I had an OC named Jordan Fetter because I thought it was smarter than Jordan Sylvan or whatever, certainly smarter than Jordan Feather.) I was thinking about something else I noticed but forgot. I think Sabine is what makes the magic work.

How could she make the midwest into a stereotype? This may be worthy criticism. Even I was like, well this family drama is... eh. For a while this year I was of the belief that all contemporary fiction is true. So far, two of Ann Patchett's leading ladies have been from LA and one went to Tennesee and one went to Nebraska (theheretofor mentioned mid-west) when Patchett is also from LA and moved to Tennesee. Maybe I'm right and she will send characters back to the south in Taft. I think in Bel Canto (her 2nd) they go to South America, so...

Was this written by a man, how are all the girls so domestic? Even Sabine, who's always wearing men's cloths, and always living with men. Hm… Very sus to come up with this on your own

What type of woman devotes her entire life to loving a man who is gay and will never love her back the way she wants? What type indeed. And how DID she want? Compared to Phan's fatherliness, Parsifal barely had any lines and wasn't in Nebraska in his afterlife so we don't get any of his and Sabine's real relationship and maybe THAT's a glaring error. Anyways, I make jokes about Phan being jealous and that's why he took Parsifal back, but, um, it is hard to help someone die, maybe it is true that him suddenly dying is better it's like if your dad hid your mail from you, trying not to let it disappoint you, when it's up to you what you make of it.

[slywhisker]

It seems to me that the books imply Tawnypelt idolizes Tigerclaw to some extent given that she left Thunderclan to be with him, and despite all his evil bad kitty behaviors, named her son after him.

This is interesting to me! He doesn’t really see his children as individuals, but instead pawns he can use for whatever schemes he’s got going on–so I’m surprised she still ended up having a somewhat positive impression of him. I think it’s very likely that he feigned kindness and love to manipulate her.

I would imagine that her feelings about Tigerclaw are something she constantly struggles with. She remembers him as a father who loved her when Thunderclan didn’t, but, as she’s aged, has realized much of his “love” was a hoax. She simultaneously has fond memories of him and feels betrayed by him.

She resents him, loves him, misses him, and never wants to think about him again.

On the contrary, Mothwing does not give a flying fuck about Tigerclaw!

Once Hawkfrost is gone, everyone forgets that Tigerclaw ever had any blood in Riverclan.

Hawkfrost was so much more reminiscent of his father that literally nobody ever associated Mothwing with her dad. She doesn’t look like Tigerclaw in the slightest, and, by being a medicine cat, differentiates herself from his other children.

Without a belief in Starclan or The Place of No Stars, there’s no reason for her to fear him in the afterlife or worry about the coming battle during Omen of the Stars. He’s simply an afterthought, and not relevant to her in the slightest.

Sister does not care. She’s on this earth to save lives and kiss girls.

Hi does anyone have specific thoughts on how Tigerclaw may have interacted with his daughters or how Tawny/Moth may feel about him that you would like to share with me in paragraphs because I am all ears right now

[i-cant-sing]

Toji would freak the f out if reader tried to conctact her mom from the afterlife using her powers. Is like that scene with the guy walkibg with the pizzas and see the room on fire.

Toji walking into your room with takeout: hey, baby! I got us lunch- WOAH OMG WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!? Y/N, GET AWAY FROM THAT!

And baby Y/n is just sitting on her playmat with a confused look, not realising her dad's freaking out over the dead woman that is ominously sitting behind you. You've practically made the woman come back to life, crawl out from her grave, and is now having a tea party with you.

Baby Y/n probably just goes: huh? Dad! Have you met my mom?! Isn't she so cool? And so beautiful?

And the mom in question has twigs and mud all over her, black stuff coming out of her mouth, pale skin and visible bones, as she just glares at him.

Toji, sweating bullets: u-uh yeah, sure! Y/n, sweetie, come here. *you skip over happily to him* why don't you go bring your mom something to eat?

Y/n, nods and runs to the kitchen to find her HK snacks: okay!

Toji, turning towards your mom: it was nice seeing you again but you're gonna have to leave now-

Dead mom: you... you didn't even call meeee....jerkkkk. And I gave birth to our beautiful childdd...

Toji: sorry about that, but I didn't know you were pregnant. Besides! It's you who left after giving birth! You vanished into thin air!

Dead mom, throwing your stuffie at Toji: your bleached hair cousin killed me!

Toji: ohhh... that makes a lot of sense. See, I didn't know that. But seriously, you're still gonna have to go!

Dead mom: why?why can't I be with my child? Why should I be away from her?

Toji: because she can't grow up with a dead mother. It's gonna mess her up, and if you haven't already realised it when she summoned you, she isn't already normal. So, for her sake, leave.

Dead mom:

Toji: how about this? Before I drop you off at the cemetery, I can take you and Y/n out to the carnival? Its Halloween, nobody will realise that you're dead. They'll think it's really great makeup.

Dead Mom: fair enough. But there's one more stop you need to drop me off before going to the cemetery.

Toji: where?

Dead Mom: where does Naoya live again?

Toji: why- ohhh. Consider it done, actually, I'm gonna come along with you. I wanna watch him piss his pants at the sight of you.

Y/n, running back in with arms full of snacks: I'm back! Let's eat! Wait, dad?

Toji: yeah, baby?

Y/n: did you kiss mom yet?

Toji: what?

Y/n: you didn't kiss mom? Please kiss mom! That's what mom's and dad's do!

Toji: sweetie, I don't think it's necessary-

Dead Mom, smirking: I think it is. Kiss me, Toji. Kiss me.

Y/n: kiss! Kiss! Kiss!

Toji, mumbles: fuck.

And while no pictures were taken, I do like Tom imagine that perhaps Toji managed to capture 1 photo of all 3 of you at the carnival, laughing and smiling at the camera (with u obviously dressed as Hello Kitty, your mom as a zombie, and Toji as Mario), and he keeps that photo on him at all times💖

[lesbianladybutton]

ive been thinkint about thunderstorms SO: ghosts headcanon time 😎

kitty is terrified of them, the loud noises make her uneasy, but she cant help but love them anyway

mary also finds them upsetting as she believes it to be a sign from god, and she tends to flap about and get quite upset

fanny tells people not to be silly, it’s just noises and light and she really enjoys them. they make her jump sometimes but she likes them a lot

julian calls everyone babies for being frightened but whenever there’s a particularly loud thunderclap he goes “bloody hell” and then starts a debate when the other ghosts take the piss out of him

cap doesnt have any particular thoughts on them, he thinks they’re beautiful and powerful and isn’t especially scared of them

pat always jumps at the thunder but then grins, pats his stomach and goes “excuse me!” because he’s a dad joke master and it makes kitty laugh

humphrey likes them, he’s often left in a place where he can see the sky quite well and likes the view and enjoys counting between each thunderclap

thomas finds it’s the best time to be mopey and lament his troubles at his sighing spot, and every so often he shrieks like he did with the toaster when he gets a fright

robin runs laps around the house having the time of his afterlife, he fucking loves thunderstorms

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom 8-13 thoughts! again, under the cut bc I blew through 6 episodes in one go...

-LOVE THE WAY THE GHOST ZONE LOOKS. but theres fucking ghost cops??? ghost jail??? that SUCKS imagine dying and going to jail in your AFTERLIFE. danny going to JAIL WAS NOT something I expected. but seeing all the enemies together and work with danny to bust out. SO ICONIC I love that actually. and the thing about real world stuff acting as ghosts in the ghost zone is very cool.

-'there are some things more important that hunting ghosts!' mrs fenton says, about her husband forgetting their anaversary (FOR THE 18TH YEAR IN A ROW?? CHRIST) and not about, idk, their son clearly freaked out. she didnt even notice he was gone into the ghost zone!!! he might be a bad husband BUT shes not the best mom. they suck and I don't care about their relationship problems I care about these kids. danny doing his best to clean the house to keep his mom from getting mad at his dad?? hes such a good boy I want to cry, this is not his place, his dad should be cleaning his own shit up!!!

-maddie's butch lesbian sister is living my best life in her lil cabin. also being a snarky bitch to jack. queen. and her getting a 10th anniversary of her divorce. LOVE IT.

-mr. lancer being a cheerleader in his younger years makes perfect sense to me. king shit.

-dr. spectra's cat ears/mullet hairstyle?? sooo cute. I also just love the concept of a ghost just. sucking out people's positivity and feeding on emotions. a great villain. she put danny in a fucking diaper what the FUCK. and keeping it cold so no one would suspect shes a ghost??? INCREDIBLE. and her gay little blob sidekick. wlw mlm evil solidarity.

-JAZZ FOCUSED EP. YEAAAH!!! her first thought when she saw the ghosts was like 'omg i gotta tell danny :)' and her going to the teacher and also councilor trying to get help for him...shes just 16 but shes trying so hard to help him out :( watching this when youre younger I can imagine ppl are like omg annoying!! but watching this when im older im just like :( jazz baby im SO sorry </3 SHE BODIED THAT GHOST THOUGH. and the fact she didnt tell danny she knew surprised me. like, shes patient and waiting on him to tell her when hes ready!! thats so so sweet.

-christ the parents talking about 'PEELING IT LIKE AN ONION. AND EXAMINING REMAINS' of ghosts RIGHT INFRONT OF DANNY.

-'why am i so depressed and angry all the time!!' DANNY YOURE 14. i mean it IS a ghost this time, but...

-579$ top?? VALERIE NO ITS NOT EVEN CUTE IT DOESNT EVEN GO WITH THAT OUTFIT AAAA. tho this ep is called shades of gray..VALERIE FOCUSED EP FINALLY????! *THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE* I already knew about red huntress from my redesigns, but I didn't exactly know what that entails or how/why, so, it's fun to see the Origins.

-ghost pubby! ghost pubby!!!!! why is the dog a ghost?? the implication that the company had guard dogs and got rid of them...what did they DO. is it just the unfinished business?? of not having that toy it was looking for?? god I hope so.

I feel SOOO bad for valerie tho, my god. her friends are shunning her for what, because her dad lost her job and she had to move??? horrible. (and the fact the dog wrecked the moving van too...) I also love how 'from wisconsin' on the package was an IMMEDIATE RED FLAG FOR ME. WISCONSIN=EVIL NOW. vlads so petty.

-it took valerie like 5 mins to get the hang of hunting ghosts and shes already a much bigger threat than his parents tbh. who've been trying and studying this for years. and a more valid reason <3 love her shes so cute and cool. new daughter alert.

-'i should do SOMETHING to help valerie' no shit danny???

-'who is that, awesome outfit!' -top gay sam moments. i was going to say. before it immediately cuts to sam kissing danny LMFAOOO. don't think I like that, it puts tucker in a weird third wheel position... the next ep involves them holding hands and blushing when danny's cold...URGH No. not a fan ngl. the trope of 'if theres a girl in a trio she has to end up with one of the two guys!!'

-right as I say that they take it to extremes!! and ember shoots him with a love ray gun that makes him OBSESSIVE OVER SAM. AND SHE TAKES HIS HANDS AND SAYS 'YOU DONT FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT ME, I DONT FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT YOU' and her saying she doesnt want to be together like this. and tucker saying 'i always knew you two would get together!!' dont manifest it tucker please. the show pushing for it so hard makes me not want it KSHKJKJD I KNOW its probably canon. it sucks though. im a hater.

-vlad just LURKING AROUND THE SCHOOL GIVING VALERIE GIFTS ASJKDHKJ YOU WEIRD PETTY OLD MAN GO HOME!!!

-EMBERRRRR YOU WILL REMEMBERRRRRR . this is the one thing I kinda remember from when I was a kid EMBERRRRR ilu. top 10 cartoon bops. sams being a hater. popular things are popular for a reason. mr. lancer also being a hater. also everyone wearing her color scheme ..its a really good look, the purple, black, and minty color...

-penguins exist in the ghost zone. confirmed.

-EMBER JUST SHOWING UP AT A RANDOM HIGHSCHOOL TO PLAY?? UNANNOUNCED, MID DAY??? girl get a tour schedule. make some money or smth damn. I know shes probably doing it for the power boost but. lord. anyway if your show doesnt have a concert scene/ep, is it even valid.

-fellas is this gay. (she uses a GRAPPLING HOOK TO SHOOT OUT THE WINDOW AFTER SEEING AN EMBER VAN GO BY RIGHT AFTER THIS SHOT)

-hey, she had an undercut at some point!! my redesign!!! was accurate!! in..a way

-I feel like danny has a lot of pent up aggression ngl, him being heartbroken about sam and immediately going IM GONNA GO TAKE IT OUT ON EMBER. I mean she needs to be stopped I guess But. jazz has the right idea he needs therapy and a HEALTHY outlet.

-tucker singing > my singing

-girls cant be gamers -tucker and danny sexist moments. her being chaos in the game OWNED.

-TUCKERS HAT IS A BERET??? I THOUGHT IT WAS A BEANIE. SAM CALLED IT A BERET. WH.

-it was actually nice of lancer to let danny retake the test, and he go to play games again. smh. epic cringe gamer moments compilation. and driving him home!!! I actually like him as a character. anyway teachers like lancer are SO appreciated. I was failing middle school because of mental problems, and felt so dumb and got embarrassed by teachers who would just get onto me instead of bothering to ask what the real problem was, but when I was taking my ged classes I had a wonderful teacher who kept reassuring me that I was smart, and I got honors!! danny is SUCH a little shit to him (understandable, 14, but) but seeing them getting along better and danny putting in effort. SO CUTE. THATS MY SON, STUDYING HARD!!!! and being so PROUD OF HIMSELF!!! 91!!! BITCH!!! A- is STILL AN A!!!

-'why dont they ever realize thats me in a dress' mr lancer i am CRYING. i realized.

-technus being my ghost grandpa who cant game asking tucker for help. bless his heart. his out of date old ppl lingo circles back to being endearing <3 tucker not recognizing him despite the like, lack of any kind of serious disguise...I do love their lil in-game outfits....sam being the tank rules. I like technus' spider design also. more characters need to be giant freaky spiders, imo.

-finding your gf a new host because she cant maintain her ghost body outside the zone? amazing. using jazz as the host? ILL KILL YOU. jazz immediately accepting a ride home from a guy she just met and letting him know where she lives. letting him IN THE HOUSE??? nooo girl no lets use common sense </3

-sooo cringe the parents were like 'good job for spying on your sister' tho wtffff. doesnt matter if hes a bad guy, thats fucked. everytime these parents BREATHE im like. these are MY kids now <3

-BAD LUCK BEING A THEME OF THE 13TH EPISODE. thats super fun. johnny 13 being his name is so. iconic. your last name is a NUMBER? also goth tucker. I actually love the look. everyone looks good goth. 'the ladies love the eyeliner and onyx nail polish' sam you are sooo right every man needs to at least try those two things. im a lesbian and I agree. same, danny, your bff is gnc af

-LOVE kitty's design. and just, the concept of a ghost with a bike. couple goals, except yes stay away from jazz.

[trinuviel]

Such a pretty Kitty. I love black cats. My sister had a black Kitty many years ago but the cat adopted our dad when she lived with our parents while my sister was abroad for a couple of months. She lived with them for 15 years until she passed. She really loved our dad. I like to imagine she waited for him in the afterlife when he passed Last year. It is a comforting imagining.

Once again, my condolences for your loss.

I'm so sorry about your cat. Sending all the love.💛💛💛

Thank you so much, I literally just dropped her off to be cremated and it was an emotional moment. She was my little buddy and totally irreplaceable. Here’s another cute picture of her 🐈‍⬛💕🐈‍⬛💕

[freddiekluger]

BBC Ghosts ficlet- happy

i’ve been having a lot of feelings about pat lately, so i wrote this. prompted by the idea of dad pat, with some subtle trans pat references (please excuse the bland title)

———

Robin had gotten into a new genre of music. ‘hyperpop’, Pat thought he heard Alison call it. it was a bit too new wave for him, he thought as he sat in the grounds of Button House, arms around his knees. snatches of bass and what sounded like screaming drifted over, mixing with the giggles from Kitty and Mary playing in the nearby garden.

the combination of the music and laughter reminded Pat of his own childhood. he’d get home after school and his mum would put on that doo-wop music of hers that she loved so much. she'd grab his hands and dance around the kitchen, and he'd pretend he hated it but by the time the second chorus came around, he was always dancing and singing. admittedly, doo-wop was a far cry from Button House’s present soundtrack, but Pat couldn’t bring himself to properly dislike either. 

with his mum, it wasn't so much the music on its own that he liked (doo-wop is really all the same once you've heard enough of it), but the joy of it all. his mum's hands, moisturised but still rough, grapsing his own. her laughter as young pat got caught up in her skirt, the smell of her old woollen cardigan. her eyes would get all crinkly and she'd laugh herself silly by the shiny metal splashback, watching pat entertain her the best way he knew how. for all the flack the others gave robin, he’d worked out the secret to surviving this place. the afterlife? Pat wondered whether ghosting really counted as an afterlife, absentmindedly fiddling with his glasses. the point being, Robin, with all his pranks and puzzles, had realised that you’ve got to find happiness where you can. the simpler, the better.

it had the one thing pat was determined to pass on to his sons. happiness, that is. he hoped he had, but that’s the thing about dying. you’re never around to find out. more often than not, the mere thought was enough to send him into a bad mood for a good few hours, but not today. not with the girls enjoying themselves, the sun shining, and the faint breeze rippling through the grass. Pat could feel it sweeping right through him. 

back in life, before he met Carol, the Scouts had been Pat’s happiness. it’d been a dream ever since he was little. his mum, meaning well, had signed him up for Guides, but he didn’t last long. he’d been dreaming of learning how to build a fire, pitch a tent, not bake cakes and do needlepoint. after his mum died and he properly came into himself, the first thing Pat did was teach himself all the necessary skills so he could become a Scout leader, and he’d be damned if he wasn’t still bloody proud of the scarf that hung round his neck. it wasn’t so much the skills and the excitement that drew him to the Scouts as an adult, although it was pretty neat. relaxed leadership, the kind that lets you check in and help everyone have a good time, always made Pat feel good. like he was doing what he was supposed to.

and when he became a dad, well, that was it. Pat was a brilliant dad, or tried to be. as much as he sometimes wished it didn’t (especially when the Captain was getting on his high horse), nurturing was in Pat’s veins. family board games, camping trips, bedtime sleepovers, even nappy changes, he loved it all. don’t get it wrong, it still drove him nuts from time to time, but what family doesn’t? 

the music had changed. Pat was pretty sure Thomas must have taken over, because it was slower and simpler, and he was pretty sure he could hear Robin protesting. he ought to head back up and sort that out, but another minute or two in the great outdoors couldn’t hurt.

Pat stretched his arms up to the clear blue sky with a sigh, wiggling his fingers. he figured it must be true what they say: once a dad, always a dad. even in death. 

[lu-undy]

Chapter 70 - SBT

Here it is!

"Oh, M, you are back." 

"Hey, Maurice."

Mundy had driven back to the city and had just parked. 

"I take it you feel better?" 

"Yeah, I do, actually." 

"See? I told you that you needed a break."

"Yeah, kinda…" Mundy brushed the back of his neck. "C-can I have a word with you?" 

"Of course. Follow me." Maurice headed for the hideout. 

"Uh, Maurice?" 

"Yes?" He stopped sharp and turned to Mundy. 

"Can we talk in the van, please?" 

"Fair enough." 

Both jumped in the back of the campervan.

"So, what is it?" Maurice asked while Mundy shut the door. "And where are your cats?"

"Uh… Well… Paris would like some coffee with a drop of milk and two sugars…?" 

Maurice's eyebrows jumped before a smile appeared on his face. 

"That's the most spooky thing I've ever said in my life." Mundy added.

"I knew it! I was convinced! Haha!"

Mundy smiled in return. 

"Did he talk to you?" Maurice asked. 

"Yeah, gave me the fright of my life, but yeah. Here, he asked me to give you this." Mundy handed him a sheet of paper. He unfolded it and read it diagonally. 

"Give me a few days, a week at most and you will have the money. As for the papers, they should follow suit."

"Oh wow… That's quite quick." 

"I will make it so, for L, and for you." 

"Thanks, mate." 

"My pleasure. Tell him this is more than just a professional courtesy." Maurice said, rising up from the sofa. 

"I will… But, wait, hold on, you're not surprised?"

"About what? L faking his death? Pff, this is nothing for a legend of his standards. There are far more incredible myths about him!" 

"Really?" 

"Oh, yes. You can ask him. I do not think he likes to brag too much but you surely have your ways with him, unlike anyone else." 

Mundy blushed. 

"Well, uh… I mean…" 

"Non, Mundy, I am serious." Maurice resumed his seat on the sofa next to his friend. "Do you remember the day you went to kill Duchemin?" 

"How could I forget?" 

"I had a chat with him alone and he was very clear when it came to you."

"What d'you mean?" 

"He demanded that I protected you like I would a blood brother." 

Mundy's eyebrows jumped. 

"He made me swear to put your safety between my eyes at all times." 

"Wow…"

Maurice smiled. 

"He insisted and adamantly repeated that if anything happened to you, he would curse me and haunt me from the afterlife." 

"Jesus…" 

"Jesus indeed. In truth, rarely have I seen a man like him and I have seen how much he loves you. To say that he is head over heels for you is an understatement. You are his everything and to quote him, he would rather have his eyes gouged out of him than anything harming you."

"What?" 

"The translation is approximate, but this was the idea." 

"Crikey…"

"Indeed. But yes, I will sort things out on my side of things. Whenever you see him, tell him that France might not have missed him, but a few of us did, dearly."

Mundy smiled. 

"I'll let him know. Also, uh, d'you mind if I wait this week out with him?"

"No, of course not! Go ahead, you have a lot to catch up." Maurice answered. 

"Yeah, thanks, mate." 

"My pleasure." 

They shook hands and Maurice left the van. 

"Oh wait, one last thing, Maurice?" 

"Yes?" 

"D'you mind if he comes workin' with me?" Maurice's eyebrows jumped. "I mean, just for a while, for him to keep his days busy and all?" 

"Of course not, please tell him that more hands to help the poor of this city is appreciated."

"Right, thanks." 

Maurice went away and Mundy sighed in relief. Now, it was time to drive back to the lake. It took him an hour or so but he didn't care. Once he parked, he exited the van impatiently. 

"Lu'? Lu', I'm back!" 

No one was around the campfire that Mundy had done, not far from the shore of the lake, on the sand. 

"Where is he now…? He's got a horse, he could be anywhere?"

"Meow!"

Mundy looked up in the trees where the meowing had come from and saw a white cloud of fluff in the naked branches. 

"Pearl, baby, d'you know where Papa is?" 

"Meow…!" 

Perle carefully and swiftly climbed down the tree and trotted to her Dad. He opened his arms and she jumped to him before wrapping herself around his shoulders. 

"Hey baby… You alright?"

Perle purred. 

"You left the hubby with the kids? I guess they're not far." 

Mundy walked in the forest and followed the fresh hooves prints until he saw a tent.

"Is that where Papa is?"

Perle meowed and started moving on Mundy's shoulders. 

"Wanna come off? Here…" He crouched down and Perle hopped off of his shoulders to trot to the tent.

"Lu'...?" 

Lucien wasn't there but the rest of the cats were under the tent and a campfire was still burning in front of it. 

"I guess I'll wait here with you guys." 

Mundy entered the tent and the herd of fluff came to him, meowing, mewling and purring. He didn't have to wait long until he heard a horse and when he peeked out of the tent, the vision he got blessed with was surreal. 

Lucien arrived on horseback, with two dead rabbits tied to his waist, his hair flowing after him. 

"Bonjour, mon amour." 

[Hello, my love.]

He hopped off of the horse and Mundy exited the tent. He went straight to cup his face and pull him into a kiss. Lucien's cheeks were cold, so were his lips. He chuckled. 

"You been hunting?" Mundy asked, his hands still on Lucien's cheeks. 

"Oui, and I have caught two rabbits." 

"Good job, eh." 

"Merci." Lucien put his hands on Mundy's chest and pushed himself to the tip of his toes to kiss him. 

The kittens mewled and mewled. 

"Oi, lads, that's not a show for you, and yeah you find it disgustin' for now, but you'll see when you grow up and find a mister or a missus kitty, eh!" 

The herd of fluff came and brushed themselves on their legs, purring. Lucien smiled.

"You truly are the local mad man with cats."

"Mad man?" 

"You just kissed a ghost, Mundy." Lucien winked.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." 

"Let us deal with the rabbits and you can tell me how it went with Maurice."

"Sure." 

Each got started with their blades not far from the camp.

"So yeah, he was happy to hear you were alive."

"Ah, so am I." Lucien answered.

"He said we'd get everything within a week, tops."

"Parfait."

[Perfect.]

"Lu'...?"

They put the bits of rabbit to cook on the fire. 

"Oui?" 

"So we gotta wait it out?" 

"I think so." 

They both sat on the ground next to each other and in front of the fire. Lucien leaned on Mundy. 

"Love you, Lu'." 

He smiled. 

"I love you too, Mundy. Oh, by the way, I should tell you something." 

"Yeah?" 

"I did borrow a knife and two rifles from your friend Eddy." 

"What?! You're the burglar?!"

"I do apologise. I needed some tools to survive." 

"Where did you get the rest?" 

"I had to take it from people who come to this forest."

"You stole all of that?!" Mundy exclaimed. 

"I am afraid I had to."

"You…" 

"Mundy, I had to survive. The only trip I made to the city was to take what I needed from Eddy. If I had any money on me, trust me, I would have paid what I owed. Besides, I only ever take what I absolutely need, and given the cold, I had to rob quite a few campers." 

"Gosh… Well I guess that explains the picture then." 

"What picture?" Lucien asked. 

"This one." Mundy popped up the cigarette case and flipped it open. "The one I've been lookin' for and that V saw as I was lightin' a cig in her diner the other day…"

"Ah, my apologies for stealing that too." Lucien smiled.

"You have no idea what I felt when I found it…" Mundy took the bits of rabbit off the fire and blew on them before giving them to the cats. 

"What do you mean?" Lucien asked and his tone fell more serious as he felt a hint of distress in Mundy's voice. 

The Aussie sighed. 

"I felt like you were… Y'know… Still with me." 

Lucien grabbed a bit of the rabbit and blew on it before putting it in front of Mundy's mouth. The Aussie bit in and Lucien took a bit himself. 

"I felt like… Like you had left me that picture in the cig case like a message."

"An 'I love you' from the afterlife."

Mundy smiled. 

"Yeah, a bit. It felt amazing but so sad at the same time. And I realised something too."

"What?" Lucien asked. 

"We need to take pictures and record ourselves." 

"What?!" Lucien's eyebrows jumped. 

"I want to have pictures of you and me in the van. And I want to have a recordin' of your voice on a cassette." 

"Mundy…" 

"I'm serious." 

"Mundy, you are saying this as if I was going to leave you again. But I won't." 

"No, you don't get it. I know you're not gonna leave. You said you'd tell me everythin' now, so whatever the problem, I know you'll tell me. No, it's uh…" 

Mundy blushed at the mere thought of what he was about to say. Lucien held his arm and leaned on him. 

"What is it, mon loup?" 

[My wolf]

"I… I really want to live with you… Live normally, like people do." Mundy answered, his eyes on the campfire. "I want to, uh, settle down somewhere and uh… We get jobs and stuff." 

Lucien's grin couldn't be wider. 

"Feels weird to say that." Mundy added. 

"Why?" 

"Cause I've always ever lived in my van alone and now… Now, I just need you." 

"So do I."

"I want to do so many things with you… When you died and I was left alone, I was left thinking that there was so much to do that I hadn't done yet."

"Like what, for example?" 

"I don't know… But we'll do it now, right?" Mundy looked down at Lucien who was clinging to him. 

"Oui, we will." 

They exchanged a kiss and kept on eating.

"So, had a thought about what you want to do when we're back in the city?" 

"I have a few leads." Lucien answered. 

"Alright, tell me… Oh I guess you could still sing?" Mundy asked. 

"I could but I don't want to." 

"Oh?"

"Meow…" Perle came to Lucien.

"Mon bébé?"  

[My baby]

She lay on his lap, looking up at them both as they were finishing their food. She blinked slowly and Lucien reciprocated before he heard her pur. 

"So what d'you wanna do then?" Mundy asked. 

"I want to help those children that Maurice is taking care of."

"How?"

"A few lifetimes ago, I was sent in the colonies, in Africa. I had to tail a man with strategic information."

"What's it gotta do with-"

"I am getting to it, patience." 

"Right…" Mundy leaned his head on top of Lucien. 

"My cover job was chosen by France and I greatly enjoyed it, more than I thought I would." 

"What were you doin'?" 

"I was a teacher." 

"A teacher?" Mundy repeated. 

"Oui. Does that surprise you?" 

"A bit, yeah. Not that you wouldn't be great at the job, I just didn't expect that."

Lucien chuckled. He killed the fire and stood up. 

"Let us head back to your van, shall we?"

"Yeah." 

The Frenchman hopped on the horse and held a hand down for Mundy. 

"Oh?" 

"Come on." Lucien invited him and Mundy climbed up behind him. 

"Kitty cats, let's go." Mundy addressed them and the herd of fluff walked behind the horse, through the forest. 

The Aussie couldn't help but wrap his arms around Lucien and rest his jaw on the Frenchman's shoulder. 

"Are you alright?" Lucien asked. 

"Yeah… Just love you, Lu'." 

"I love you too." 

Mundy tightened his hug around Lucien. 

"May I ask, have you thought about the cats?" Lucien asked. 

"What about them?" 

"Perle was already a responsibility, but now with Soot and the kittens….?"

"Ah, yeah, I get what you mean. I thought I'd give the kittens away when they can leave their mum."

"Good idea."

"Yeah, we can keep Pearl and Soot." 

"I agree. Do you know who you will give them to?" 

"Nah, no idea yet."

"Hm."

They soon arrived at the campervan at the lake's shore and dismounted the horse. 

"So we have a week to pass, hm?" Lucien asked. 

"Yeah, that's what Maurice said."

"Anything you want to do in particular?" Lucien asked. 

"Just be with you." 

They slipped in the van but the herd of fluff decided to play outside. Bah, it was still day and they seemed to enjoy the sand very much. 

"Do you have any coffee in this ridiculous van of yours?" 

"Oi, she's not ridiculous." Mundy went to prepare some coffee while Lucien sat on the couch. He chuckled. 

"I do believe she is not indeed. She took you to meet me and in that regard, I am grateful." 

"You should be, eh." They exchanged a smile. Mundy looked through his cupboard. "I have regular and decaf', what d'you prefer?"

"Whichever you want." 

"You wanted some coffee so you choose."

"I do not have any preference, I just want something hot to warm me up that I can drink."

"Hm. Go for regular." 

Mundy made the coffee and when it was done, he gave one cup to Lucien and sat down next to him. 

"Here."

"Merci." 

"De rien." Mundy answered with a hint of his accent.

[You're welcome.]

"Someone is learning, hm?" 

"Tryin'."

"Really?" 

"Why not?"

Lucien snuggled against Mundy and the Aussie wrapped an arm around him. They sipped on their coffee in silence, the sweet smell slowly invading the van. 

"Mundy?" 

"Yeah?" 

"I must confess yet another sin of mine." 

"Oh? Tell me." 

"For the past few days, before I came to confront you, I… I came to listen to you." 

"Listen to me?" 

"Oui, when you play the saxophone."

Mundy's eyebrows jumped. 

"Ah… What did you think about it?"

"To say it was pleasant would be an understatement. I enjoyed your concerts immensely, I even murmured along to the songs you played…"

"Oh, really?" 

Lucien put their empty cups away and came back to sit on Mundy's lap this time.

"Oh…?" 

He laced his arms around Mundy's neck and nested his head on his shoulder, under his ear. 

"You play with such poetry… The sound of the saxophone is so delicate, so breathy... Had I known that you play like that, I would have asked you to indulge me much earlier and more often."

"Hold on, you came to listen more than once?" 

"Oui."

"And you didn't recognise me?" 

"At first, non. But when I saw the van, I thought I was hallucinating. So, I waited." 

"For what?" 

"For you to go to sleep."

"Why?" 

"I then approached the van and touched it. I ran my fingers along it and went to the window. I saw you curled in your bed and my heart stopped." Lucien was blinking slowly on Mundy's shoulder and the Aussie brushed his back slowly. "And I started to think and doubt, for days. Should I go and talk to you? How?"

"O'course you should!"

Lucien smiled and kissed Mundy's neck. 

"It isn't obvious at all, mon loup." 

[My wolf]

"Why? Didn't you want to see me again?" Mundy asked. 

"Of course I wanted to. Non, if I confronted you, it would have made my year of isolation useless."

"How?" 

"If you see me, other people can too."

"Hm." Mundy bent down to kiss Lucien's head, his soft hair. "Y'know what?" 

"What?" 

Mundy frowned. 

"I'll protect you, ok? If needs be, I'll get a rifle again and-"

"Mundy…?" Lucien looked up with round eyes. 

"What? Did I say somethin' wrong?"

"Yes, you did. You said you would take a rifle again…?

"Yeah."

"But I thought…?"

"Yeah, rifles are awful, they kill people. They killed my parents and they killed you once. But… They're the only thing I know how to use to kill. And it's absolutely out of the way to let anyone come near you, you hear me?" 

"But Mundy-?"

"No. I can't bear it. Tried it once for ten years and once more for a year. No, it won't happen again. No one will take you away from me." He tightened his hug around the Frenchman who sighed and smiled, wrapped up in strong arms. 

"Likewise, mon amour."

[the-witchhunter]

Some examples:

-Technus, he’s got that AuDHD transmasc swag. He switch to an undercut and his shoulders really filled out after his redesign. The man is clearly on T and going to infodump about his special interest in technology

-Skulker, he constantly modifying his own (robot) body. He body is his canvas and why should he not decide how it looks and what it does? He’s a transhumanist at the very least but I dare say he’s also trans

-Ember? Miss, “you will remember my name?” Are you saying that couldn’t be her literally saying, “no, this is my name. Not my dead name, Ember is my name and you WILL remember it” and are you saying that an entire stadium of people chanting her chosen name wouldn’t be one of the most gender affirming experiences of her afterlife?

-Box Ghost? Probably lived years thinking he was a butcher lesbian before figuring out he was a trans man. I basically know this person. Plus, we stan a seahorse dad

-Johnny and Kitty are a T4T couple and Johnny is peak transmasc dirtbag representation and I love him. He’s my precious boy that has done so many things wrong. He needs therapy so badly and kitty is too good for him but they absolutely are head over heels for each other

-Desiree is a representation of the sexualization of trans identity. Her design meant for the male gaze represents her as something objectified and the monkey paw nature of her wish granting shows how it is inherently twisted to fetishize an entire identity to fulfill your desires

I can go on, but I shan’t

I think I could see every ghost in Danny Phantom as trans

I’d be hard pressed to think of one that if someone said they were trans I would immediately go “yeah, I could see it”

[daydreaming-jessi]

Wow ok I won’t shut up about Beetlejuice apparently so here’s a non angsty Beetlejuice returns AU I came up with

One night Lydia is doing homework when suddenly a fucking stuffed brick phases through her window and she looks out and there’s Beetlejuice in the backyard holding his strangely lumpy looking jacket

Lydia: oh god he’s fucking decapitated someone

She goes out to yell at but Beej has the biggest grin on his face and goes “LYDIA YOU WONT BELIEVE THIS ITS THE WEIRDEST GODDAMN THING THATS EVER HAPPENED USUALLY ANIMALS HATE ME”

Lydia is just “wut” and Beej uncovers the head of a cute fluffy black cat that has a glittering neon green eye, chewed up ears and a crooked tail and Lydia then goes “hell yeah”

The cat just follows Beej everywhere, purring and chirping and just loving on him as best it can since he’s noncorporeal

But Beej is super worried because! He’s never had a pet! Juno always threw any pets he found in the netherworld out saying they had to go to their own death zone! And he’s not even had a live pet before! He doesn’t! Know! What to do! Lydia halp!

Lydia: Ok ok lemme go ask my dad if we can have a cat

Beetlejuice, traumatized by his mother to fear asking for anything: how ‘bout we don’t do that and just keep it in your room

Lydia, a young teen that sees Beej as her older brother, therefore more likely to go along with his plans that she likes: ...Yeah ok

SO Beetlejuice is back in her life basically staked out in Lyds room having the time of his afterlife playing with this cat. She adores this cat as well it will lick her face whenever she cries and smells like the taquitos Beej loves and will sit on Lydia anywhere so long as it’s stable

She’s also happy to have Beej back, she can complain about life to him and he’ll just be like “want me to kill them” and they paint their nails and she can be as morbid with him as she wants without worrying anyone

Lydia: we need to name him...

Beej: how about asmodeus

Lydia: ...whaddya think of Shoggoth?

Beej: ... :’O

Commence Lydia hiding two pets in her room and trying desperately to keep them hidden from her two(2) sets of parents montage

Lydia gets some kind of job so she can discreetly buy cat food because Shoggoth can’t live off the junk food I feed you Beej.

They take shoggoth out to go to the bathroom at night and Lydia shows Beej his namesake star and he happily shows Shoggoth it and Lydia watches proudly

Shoggoth is very big and they constantly call them chonky and an absolute unit

But then one day

Beej wakes lydia up

“SHOGGOTH CAN MAKE CLONES LIKE ME”

Lydia: wut

Uh oh Shoggoth is a girl and was actually very pregnant not fat

Lydia and Beej coo over the babies! But something is wrong with Shoggoth! She is very sluggish and won’t eat!

Beej is crying and panicking and Lydia is panicking and worrying that Shoggoth will die and leave her kids alone and they basically are running around the room wailing and the Maitlands and Deetz come running

Cue the parents bursting in on Beej holding a tired cat wailing as if his very soul was being ripped from his body and Lydia holding four wet kittens looking about ready to hyperventilate

Barb immediately takes charge and sets up a lil kitten zone and sends Adam to go heat up some kitten milk they had when they were fostering kitties

She also sends Delia and Charles to take Shoggoth to the vet to check over the lil kitty

Delia asks lydia to stay behind and make sure Beej doesn’t do something drastic. As much as Lydia wants to disagree, she sees Beej laying next to the kittens with dark blue hair and agrees to keep an eye on him

Commence a very tense two hours as Adam and Barb try and cheer Lyds and Beej up by teaching them how to care for kittens

Lyd and Beej pounce Charles and Delia when they come back and it turns out Shoggoth’s fine! Just a little dehydrated from birthing four babies!

Lydia and Beej absolutely cover this cat in love and eagerly show her back to the kittens and just... watch as Shoggoth takes care of her babies. It’s the most still anyone’s seen Beej as he does not want to disturb Shoggoth and her babies.

Beej declares himself a grandmother as he’s Shoggoth’s mom and no one really wants to tell him otherwise because it’s the cutest he’s been the way he takes care of this cat and her kittens

Charles and Delia can’t really turn the demon and cat away as they really help Lydia whenever she has bad depression spells and it’s the most eager they’ve seen her in a long time. Beej promises to behave himself “for Shoggoth’s sake”

Cue Beej living with a loving family and starting to finally heal from the trauma Juno inflicted

That’s all I’ve got for now but honestly that was a lot so w/e but honestly I may come up with more later on how Shoggoth wraps everyone around her lil crooked tail

Edit: I’ve gone ahead and designed the kitties here if you’re interested! I’m glad so many people enjoy this dumb idea I’ve come up with

Also beetleb@bes dni.

[kathyprior4200]

Kathy Prior Comforts Alastor

Another ordinary day at the Hazbin Hotel. Having died in the 2020’s due to covid, I appeared as a watered down human, not quite a demon unless influenced by Alastor’s dark magic. Originally I was going to be transformed into an angel reminiscent of my supposed spirit animal. But Heaven’s elitism rubbed me the wrong way, thus I refused to submit to God. I was banished down to Hell, living in a cardboard box. I was soon fleeing from the exterminators not too long afterwards. If they had gotten me, I’d either be killed or sent back to Heaven to be brainwashed as a white Exorcist. Then Alastor of all people decided to take me in and I arrived at the Hazbin Hotel. There I was good friends with Alastor, Charlie and Niffty, half convinced that they were the voice actors playing some kind of trick on me.

 Aside from my demon form that is activated by Alastor’s magic, my afterlife form wasn’t very impressive. I looked like I did when I was alive, except my skin was ghostly pale, my long hair was gray and my eyes had black sclera, purple irises and white pupils. Although I didn’t fit in with the other demons, I could see in the dark and my instincts were heightened.

 It’s not a lot of fun when Alastor possesses me or when he decides to swallow me whole. Apparently, there’s something powerful about me that allows him to heal, feel full and even get some rest. Often times, he sits me in front of a radio and has me listen to several of his favorite jazz songs. The little speakers start to glow and static buzzes in my head. His soothing voice washes over me and I find myself in a daze. My eyes glow red with moving black radio dials and my remaining thoughts are shoved to the back of my mind. Alastor soon has control of my body and mind. He calls the process “getting tuned in.”

 I then transform into an alligator/red doe hybrid demon named Cerva. In this form, I’m a vicious killer and cannibal who accompanies Alastor, Husk and Niffty on various missions. Using my sharp claws, teeth and some dark magic, I take down pedos, rapists, criminals or anyone that stands in the Radio Demon’s way. My scaly skin helps protect me from most attacks, though I can still be killed by angelic weapons like everyone else. When he releases control of me and I morph back, it feels like a great weight is lifted off my chest. I cannot remember what I did before.

 Like Husk and Niffty, I’m stuck under Alastor’s contract for a while. He persuaded me to work for him at the hotel and that “It’s a dangerous world outside.” Naturally I agreed.

 Today was fairly busy. Charlie had a meet and greet event to welcome the newcomers Crymini, Mimzy and Baxter. When I wasn’t greeting any guests, I helped Niffty clean the rooms, make the beds and sweep up the floors. Sometimes I would help Alastor and Niffty make tasty jambalaya (with spicy sauce) and other dishes to serve to all the clients. I wasn’t very good at poker but it was still fun to play and watch as Husk skillfully won almost every game. Often, the characters would mostly talk amongst themselves, me fading into the background, being an OC. I was fine with that…it was almost like watching the show I dearly loved on Earth…except now I was a part of it in a way.

 After I finished cleaning beer bottles at the Jackpot portion near the lobby, I heard Alastor and Husk talking not too far away by a pool table.

 The cat demon let out his usual grumpy sigh. “Man, what a ruckus. I just served dozens of drinks to these annoying tourists who didn’t even stay. What’s the meaning of that?”

 “Why Husker!” Alastor said with a laugh, “Ever since our three new demons arrived and signed up for Charlie’s program, more folks are becoming curious about it. Providing them with drinks and entertainment is surely the way to go!”

 “Without any breaks?” Husk scowled. “And why’d you make me stretch my wings and do a stupid dance onstage when I got wasted earlier?”

 “It was so funny, I had to!” he chuckled. “Even when you’re getting drunk, you can still do your new job well.”

 “I’m here to serve drinks and get my money and booze. That’s it. I’m not some fucking clown you can roll into every little scheme of yours.”

 “Hmm…maybe you are.”

 “I don’t think so. Remember I’m only here because you bribed me with booze. But even that will only go so far.”

 “Come now, my friend, why not liven up a little!” Alastor spoke in a loud voice, making Husk’s ears flinch back. “I provided you with some resources to make your life down here more…livable…or rather less dead.”

 Audience laughter came from his microphone.

 Husk rolled his eyes and muttered. “Your dad jokes make you a fucking joke.” Alastor snickered. Husk seethed, “Ugh great, now it’s rubbing off on me!”

 Alastor pulled Husk in close with his arm, much to the cat’s disgust. “Just have some fun and follow my orders and things will go smoothly. You are my good friend after all.”

 Husk’s white furry face turned red as he hissed and shoved Alastor away. “I’m not your fucking friend! You’re nothing but a red psycho freak I happen to unfortunately work under. If I had my way, I’d be a rich free man who could gamble and do whatever I want! Better yet, I’d be far away from all you morons.”

 Husk picked up a few cards and shuffled them in his hands. “I had a full house and was about to win the pot. And then you pulled me out of nowhere and placed me in this dump for your own amusement.” He pointed a claw into Alastor’s chest a few times, making him flinch a bit. “When ae you gonna get it past your egotistical head that I. Want. To. Be. Left. Alone?!”

 An uncomfortable silence followed. Niffty briefly looked over while she was busy dusting a bookshelf with a white feather duster.

 “Looks like our pussy cat’s in his usual bad mood,” Alastor mused in his radio voice. He tilted up the corners of Husk’s mouth into a smile, which quickly fell when he let go.  “You know I love to see that smile…”

 “Shut up!” Husk pounded his furry fists onto the pool table, making the colored balls rattle. “Just shut the fuck up! I’m sick of you touching me all the time and getting into my face. I’d say you’re lost in this ridiculous musical world of yours…you think you can do anything you want but you don’t seem to be aware of who’s right in front of you!”

 The large yellow smile remained on Alastor’s face, though his red eyes looked concerned and confused.  

 “You’re delusional, thinking Hell revolves around you like some sort of audience.” Husk’s eyes had faint red veins popping out. “You may be powerful, but guess what? You can’t have your way all the time. I learned that lesson the hard way. I may be in your partnership for a while…” He hiccupped, “…but here’s what I really think of you…”

 Husk’s breath smelled of booze as the cat spilled out his previously hidden angry thoughts.

 “You’re an insufferable…”

 Every word was a jab to Alastor’s chest…

 “Egotistical…”

 He felt the shoves of surrounding boys in a long ago life…

 “Filthy…”

The taunts of “dirty boy” and the n word…being forced into a tub of water, scrubbed all over roughly and feeling like he was drowning…

 “Immature…”

 Authority figures looking at him in disapproval as he auditioned for various radio stations…

 “Maniacal…”

 Alastor slashing down his hunting knife onto a helpless victim in a snowy wood…

 “Heartless…”

 Alastor dancing and flirting with pretty women but turning away when they tore desperately at his clothes…

 “Couillon…”

 Running away as police dogs bit and tore at his legs…

 “Retard!”

 Pounding on a door in a cold empty asylum room, cold stares from the towering wardens and nurses. Words like “loon”, “wacko,” being mouthed at him as the gray walls closed in…

 A sharp record scratch pierced the air.

 A black and red gloved hand clutched at Husk’s throat. A tight grip lifted the cat several inches off the ground. He struggled to pry off Alastor’s hand, but his hold was firm. Husk struggled and gasped as he frantically tried to gulp for air. The room darkened and soon filled with radio static and floating red Voodoo symbols. Alastor’s large orbs turned pitch black, with small red dials twitching menacingly. He slowly brought Husk close to his face until they were almost nose to nose.

 He spoke in a low demonic radio voice, his mouth not moving.

 “Remember who you’re dealing with. I gave you your privileges, and I can easily take them away.”

 Just when Husk was about to pass out, he casually tossed him aside. He landed with an “oof” onto the floor. The static and symbols vanished as Alastor’s eyes returned to their normal shade of red. Husk groaned and stood up on shaky legs. He took several deep breaths and glared.

 “Guess cats don’t always land on their feet,” Alastor mused as more microphone laughter followed.

 “Get ready for another big day tomorrow!” Alastor called cheerfully to Husk as if nothing had happened. Husk flipped him a middle claw in response as he slouched away. Alastor walked on.

 “Oh Husk,” Niffty called out. “Don’t forget that you need another bath tomorrow. I‘ll be happy to clean you all up!”

 “Suck it, shrimpy bitch!” he yelled.

 “Language, kitty!”

 Niffty hopped down from the bookshelf and scurried toward Alastor. He looked down at her.

 “Well hello little darling!” he greeted to the cyclops maid.

 “Hello Alastor,” she beamed. “I was just finishing up my rounds for the day when I heard you and Husk talking. It sounded like arguing…”

 “Oh it was nothing, my dear! Just Husk in his grumpy cat mood as usual. I was trying to cheer him up.”

 “Okay,” she said. “I’m looking forward to tomorrow, so much stuff to do! Is there anything else I can do to help out, sir?”

 Alastor waved his hand, “Nothing at all. You did a splendid job today.”

 “Are you sure?” she asked, her large golden eye darting back and forth. “You know, you look pretty dirty, no offence. Perhaps you could use a nice clean…” She looked over at his staff, then stared at the area around his legs a little bit too long. “Your staff I can so easily reach…”

 She extended her hand with a hungry expression.

 “Ha! No.”

 Alastor instinctively stepped back, his frozen smile still on his face. He walked briskly past her without another word.

 “See you in the morning!” she trilled with a happy wave before scurrying off.

 The room was quiet and empty.

 What in the world just happened?

 A nagging feeling spread through me as I walked in the same direction as Alastor. It was a strange urge to go and talk with him. His tall frame strolled down the hall and up a flight of stairs. I silently followed, careful to stay a distance away and out of sight. As I almost entered my room, Room 42, the feeling compelled me to wander towards Alastor’s room instead.

 His room was across from Charlie’s and Vaggie’s, not too far away from Angel’s. The black door was etched with red Voodoo symbols and had a golden deer knocker. Strangely enough, he left it slightly open. I inched closer and peered through the opening into a dim room.

 “Come in, dear.”

 The door opened wider on its own, revealing Alastor sitting in a dark red throne-like chair on a small balcony. He was facing the sunset sky, but must have sensed my presence. He had taken off his red pinstriped suit and had it neatly folded on a chair, near where his staff was. He appeared to be wearing a dark red old fashioned nightgown with slippers made of deer fur.

 In the room, there was a king-size bed with red satin sheets on it, an elegant bedside table and dresser to match. A small chandelier made of bones hung from the ceiling in the center, illuminating blood red carpets decorated with small golden eyes and antlers in rows. There was a large vanity mirror framed by round theater lights and an array of softly lit candles here and there. And of course, there were old fashioned radios all over the room in various sizes. A four-eyed deer head stared back at me from a plaque on the fancy red wallpaper. More disturbing were the various skin-stitched Voodoo dolls and skulls hanging from the ceiling.

 A cool soothing evening breeze met my face as I stepped outside into the inferno air. I sank down into another chair next to Alastor. The sky was painted a brilliant red and orange, the magenta pentagram glowing and moving above like a revolving clock.

 “I didn’t mean to disturb you sir…” I began. A small radio sat beside Alastor, emitting radio noises and various sound clips. Strangely they sounded almost the same every time I heard them. In fact, his habit of using his microphone for sound effects…it was almost like a comfort mechanism for him.

 “Well usually at a time like this I do prefer to be alone, but since you were nearby…”

 “I just…wanted to make sure you were alright.”

 “I’m perfectly splendid, sweetheart, no need to worry.”

 For a millisecond, his eyes told a different story. Not only did I have better senses, I could read expressions and sense intentions better as well.

 “I believe there is more than that. I heard you guys arguing. Frankly, Husk was being a bit of a jerk.”

 Alastor waved his hand. “That’s what he does.”

 “But it was different this time, wasn’t it?”

 Alastor just shrugged.

 “Charlie and I were talking today and we both can agree: you can’t hide your feelings forever.”

 “Whatever are you talking about?”

 “I can sense that you are lonely, deep down. You want to find a place to belong but your sadistic nature makes others afraid of you. You’re afraid to trust other people.”

 He turned to me with a deadly glare but I remained where I was. “If you’re planning on killing me, there’s no point as I’m already dead. Hear me out for a second.”

 He paused and leaned back to listen.

 “I’m not saying you should reveal your sad secrets to everyone. I’m just saying you should embrace the fact that we all have vulnerabilities and bad days. It’s perfectly okay to cry once in a while. Perhaps your search for entertainment is more than just that. It’s a search for your mother, your friends, a search for your true place on the stage of life.”

 “I’m never fully dressed without a smile,” he seethed with his plastic smile. “End of story. Since when has an audience member gave the star of the show directions?” he inquired, eyebrow raised. “You don’t know anything about me.”

 “Well perhaps you need a better script,” I added, arms folded. I stared at his long yellowed nails, his gloves off for a rare moment. “And serious bodily care.”

 A brief silence. Had I been anyone else, I’d be a pile of ash.

 I continued. “Husk did have a point, though. He wanted to be left alone but you still decided to invade his space. You told Charlie that you want to see people fail, despite her not wanting to hear it. Plus, I’d expect an evil killer like you to take joy in the fact that people run away from you in fear. But you don’t like it. Because you seek something more.”

 “I don’t need to hear your delusional words.”

 “I’m more observant than you think. You created me to be submissive, but also tough and smart. It’s my duty to serve you and the hotel right now. And you bet your bottom dollar that me and your friends will try and do what’s best for everyone.”

 More silence as we watched the sunset in deep thought. After several minutes, I turned to him and couldn’t believe what I saw. I spotted a stray tear fall from Alastor’s eye…and his smile slowly faded.

 I covered my mouth with my hands as I let out a soft surprised gasp.

 His look alone told me that I’d be demon meat if I told anyone else. Fortunately, I never break my promise.

 I thought of all his behaviors I noticed and it suddenly clicked. There was the feeling again, a sense of a peculiar deep connection between me and him. And I figured out what it was.

 “Alastor…do you know what autism is?”

 He gave me a perplexed look. “Stop making things up.”

 “It’s a real thing…but I imagine no one talked about it in your time. Autism is one of many developmental disorders that impairs socialization. Your behaviors appear to be very similar.”

 Alastor growled, teeth bared in warning. “I can assure you that I’m perfectly talkative enough. You call me dumb and I can easily…”

 “I know because I have it too.”

 Alastor’s eye twitched. “What?”

 “Do any of these traits sound familiar to you? Being a nerdy child lost in your own world? Being preoccupied and very skilled in your many talents as you grew up? Never quite fitting in with your peers no matter how hard you try?”

 Nothing was heard but the sounds of radio glitches. Orange light glinted off his monocle under his right eye.

 “Those with autism are often very knowledgeable, setting their minds to something and never letting go of it. But they have a hard time seeing things from another person’s perspective. It’s not that they are antisocial and heartless. Rather, they feel things deeply…but they don’t know how to communicate properly with others around them. Some of them aren’t interested in romance, either.”

 Alastor rolled his eyes. “I have shows to plan for my demonic audience. I don’t have time for feelings and…”

 I continued on. “You’re content with living in your own world of radios, music and murder…because for you, it was the only way to survive and make yourself known in your previous life. Communicating through the radio, playing music, dancing and singing on stage… that is when you feel truly alive. Because your listeners hang onto your every word, not caring who you are on the outside.”

 His pupils grew slightly. “You’re making assumptions. You’re forgetting about murder…”

 “Bringing joy to others outweighs bringing suffering...at least that’s how it should be. There’s nothing wrong with doing what you love…except when it causes harm to others.”

 “Demons kill and eat other all the time. Surely you must know that sometimes death and torture are necessary.”

 “You do have a good point. But…I’m talking about your previous life, and why you were sent down here…”

 “I killed those racist bastards for good reasons. When you discover there’s an afterlife full of magic, you go out of you way to make deals for power. It’s what I’ve been doing for years. It’s impossible to be sinless, for sinners lost their chance to ascend the moment they died on Earth!”

 “But it doesn’t have to be that way. Say we take the necessary steps to prove Heaven wrong…”

 “Heheheh, there you go, sounding delusional like Charlie.”

 “Just be glad I’m not as distrustful or hateful of men as Vaggie.”

 “Angel Dust is probably worse…”

 I chuckled out loud at that. “Personal space isn’t in his vocabulary.”

 I took a breath. “Look Alastor, I’m not saying it will be all be rainbows like Charlie claims. I’m just saying it’s not impossible to redeem sinners. Back to the main topic: we both have autism. Your special interests are radios, entertainment, murder and dark magic.”

 Alastor made a face and shook his head. “That term you mentioned didn’t exist when I was alive,” he said. “Anyone who was considered strange or deviant were ignored at best. At worst, they were arrested, killed or thrown into asylums. If it weren’t for my beloved mother…I would’ve wasted away a long time ago. And despite enjoying the company of beautiful ladies, I’ve never had much interest in intimacy. My broadcasting career was my life.”

 This time I listened quietly. He continued. “I’m only telling you all this because you technically don’t exist in the Hazbin timeline. And because…I can trust you enough, like Charlie and Rosie and Mimzy…”

 He sighed again. “Like a skilled actor, I learned not just how to present myself on the air. Thanks to my mama, I learned how to socialize and mimic others around me. It was a way for me to be confident in the face of daily disdain. Smiling became my way of life…my survival skill. If I were to cry and appear weak, who knows what might’ve happened to me. Eventually I became famous for my broadcasting and my music all throughout Louisiana, but it still wasn’t quite enough. I then found another coping mechanism…”

 The aura around him grew red…

 “One that made me feel like I found my place in the world. How good it felt when I could hear their screams…see the life leave their eyes. How from the moment their bodies turned cold, I knew they could never take advantage of me and my family again…”

 His black antlers arched slightly past his face. He lowered his head as static faded in and out. Here was the infamous and ferocious Radio Demon pouring out his secrets to me. I almost didn’t know what to say.

 He covered his eyes with his hands, long fingers in claw shapes almost tearing at his pale gray skin. His voice broke in a record scratch…and this time he spoke without the radio effect, barely audible: “I miss her so much.” His fluffy ear tufts briefly drooped as he conjured the loving smiling brown face of his French Creole mother in his head.

 We sat in silence for a while. “I hope you can see her again,” I said. “But…you need to have faith. Not in Charlie’s program per se…but in yourself. I know change is hard…I’m not saying go play with dogs and use new technology. I mean, don’t be afraid to explore your feelings, figure out what you truly want in your second life.”  

 Alastor’s remaining tears sizzled off his face and his tufts lifted back up. “That’s easy. I want to entertain others and have everyone do what I want…endlessly feast on flesh and never be bored…”

 “We both know it doesn’t work like that. What you want is nothing compared with what you need. You need love. Friends. The joys of music and a purpose. Instead of killing individuals…you need to kill off your own barriers.”

 “Easier said than done. What if I don’t want to change?”

 “You’ll either spiral downward into madness, or you’ll slowly change for the better while still retaining your good qualities. If you want to see your mother in Heaven, you’re gonna have to put in some effort. I may sound like Charlie when I say this but…I know you can do it.”

 Alastor gradually relaxed, his antlers retreating back to their usual stumps. He soon stood up, anxious to have some space. “Thank you for this lovely chat. Now I’m off to read my scripts and go to bed for a little.”

 I stood up and followed. “How long do you usually sleep?”

 “Thirty minutes,” he shrugged. “I rest by the wall with my eyes open.”

 I gasped out loud and bared my teeth. “Not on my watch, mister. Get into bed, now!”

 “Deer don’t need sleep.”

 I put my hands on my hips. “Everyone needs sleep, especially you! I promise nothing is going to happen. Your shadow will guard your room and suck the soul out of any intruder. Plus you have several friends and kingpins who are loyal to you. You want to truly be the star, Alastor? Start by taking care of yourself. You are the most important person in your life.”

 Alastor smirked. “Like I don’t already know that.”

 “Good. Now rest.”

 I turned to leave before I freeze. Gathering my courage, I turned to Alastor who sat on the bed. “Alastor…may I give you a hug?”

 He stared at me, taken aback. No one had ever asked him for a hug before. He almost flinched when I slowly walked toward him.

 After a moment, his face softened. “Just this once.” He leaned into my arms and chest. I got over my brief surprise by returning the embrace, my eyes closed, tears falling. I opened them and saw to my utter delight, his fluffy red and black deer tail wagging a bit! We soon parted and he wiped the tears from my face with his fingertips.

 “Now darling, don’t forget to smile! You’re never fully dressed without one.”

 I laughed through my tears. His charm worked every time. “Hey, don’t forget to ask people if they want to be touched before you do so. That’s lesson one.”

 “You’re my servant, not my teacher,” he spoke up.

 I spread out my arms. “This is Hell, Alastor, we can be anything. The world is a stage after all!”

 Alastor chuckled, but I sensed that he wasn’t content with taking my advice any time soon. But I had tried nonetheless.

 We bid our goodnights, me feeling slightly better. Just before I closed Alastor’s door and headed for my room, his whisper of a voice floated by my ears:

 “Thank you Ms. Prior. Stay tuned.”  

[dragonrajafanfiction]

The Afterlife

Ru’Yi knocked twice on the door of the hospital ward to announce her presence.

Tom had been moved from the critical care unit and now stayed in a more normal looking room. His dark hair spread out behind his pale face. He turned his head at the knock and his violet eyes looked right through her.

Ru’Yi’s heart dropped. He’d only seen her once, after he’d regained control of his Soul Skill Brother. His eyes were golden as they looked into hers in truth for the first time and behind them was something like a deep intelligence. He was like a different person entirely.

His eyes widened slightly when she didn’t say anything. “Hello?”

“Oh! It’s me. Sorry... I ...” She looked down at the flowers, so bright and gold.  She was an idiot. Why would he enjoy flowers if he couldn’t see them? What was she thinking?

"Ru’Yi!” He broke into a wide grin. “You came back! I thought I’d scared you off.”

“You’re not scary. I’m just happy you’re okay.” She put the flowers in the sink and walked up to him and sat on side of the bed.

“The medicine isn’t very comfortable. But they say I should have fewer side effects over time.” 

An IV was keeping a steady drip down a line leading to his wrist. His long pale fingers rested on the blanket. She reached out to take his hand. It twitched when she brushed against it, but slowly, his palm turned up and his fingers folded over hers.

His eyes lids lowered and he lay still and silent. “I’m so happy... you’re alright.”

He must have been awfully lonely lying in the dark by himself. They didn’t even have music put on for him. “I should have brought your headphones.” She chewed her lip. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine.” He laughed a little. “Next time.”

“Hey, can I show you something?”

She reached into her bag and pulled out a ratty Hello Kitty doll. “This is a nasty old thing but... it was a gift from someone I never got to meet. He died when I was a baby. But I still feel like if I hold it close, he’s encouraging me.”

She pressed the doll up to Tom’s face until it squished his cheek. She made a growly voice. “Cheer up, Tom! You’ll get out of this stinky hospital soon!”

“Haha! What is it?” He felt the doll’s old ears and button nose and eyes.

“It’s a Hello Kitty.”

“Does Hello Kitty growl like that?”

“Mine does!”

He gripped the doll, turning it in his hands. “The person must have cared about you a lot.”

“That’s what Mom said. She said that he really loved me a lot. His name was Saeki Ryuji. She said he got hurt on the job and died shortly after, but even after he died, he still left me lots of gifts. Mom kept all the gifts for me, including this doll. She didn’t want me to forget him.”

He stroked the doll’s face. “Do you... believe in the afterlife, Ru’Yi?”

She shrugged. “Like... I know a lot of people do but... It’s hard for me to.”

“Why?” He turned his head in her direction.

“Because if there was an afterlife why do dragons work so hard to be reborn in this world? I learned about how they make eggs for themselves, to stay immortal. If they were immortal in another realm, why would they stay in this one?”

“That’s an interesting way to think about it.”

“What I do believe is what my dad and my mom taught me. That memories of our loved ones are more important than an afterlife. Because if we remember them, we imagine what they would do and say and feel, like they were still here with us. So it’s more important to keep remembering them. That way, they’re still with us in our heart. I think that’s what the real afterlife is. The effect you have in this world, after you’re gone.”

She watched as Tom stroked the doll’s old blue dress. “So... I think Uncle Saeki is alive in a way in that doll. Still cheering me on. He’s cheering you on too, Tom!”

“Yeah, I ... can hear it.”

Ru’Yi looked at him. She could see the pain in his face even as he tried to stay cheerful. “I just... really miss my mom and dad and my sister. It’s hard for me to think about them.”

“They would probably be pretty worried about you.” Ru’Yi offered.

He nodded his head, his cheeks growing red and tears slipping down them. He begin to sob and Ru’Yi rested her head on his shoulder, feeling tears fill her eyes and run down her face. Her throat hurt as she struggled to keep from crying but she wanted to stay strong next to him.

He ran his sleeve across his eyes. “I’m just... I’m just... so sorry... I told them I would take care of my sister... and I couldn’t do it! I’m so sorry.”

She struggled to keep her voice steady. “But... Tom... they wouldn’t blame you for what happened!”

“It doesn’t matter. She’s my sister. She’s my responsibility. Even if they don’t think so... it’s still my responsibility.” He took a staggering breath. “In the car after the crash, I knew my parents were dead and ... my sister was in the car seat next to me. She couldn’t get out. I was the only person who could keep her warm until the ambulances came. It was just me and her... I had to take care of her.”

“When the car came again, I just... froze. I didn’t do anything. It was horrible. Just the sound of it running over her. I couldn’t stop it.” A tear hung on to his nose a moment and then fell down to land on the top of Hello Kitty’s head. 

Ru’Yi sat there, trying and failing to think of something, anything to comfort him. “I’m sorry, Tom. I... don’t know what to say.” 

“No... thank you for being here. If I hadn’t run into you, they would have thrown me out in the cold. Or worse. I owe you more than I could ever pay you back for.”

She looked around and found a box of thin cheaply made tissues next to the sink. She got up and retrieved it, handing one to him. He thanked her, blew his nose and then looked around embarrassed.

She gave a little laugh. “I’ll get the trash can!” She got up and retrieved that too.

He threw the tissues away. “I feel bad for ... trying to keep from thinking about them.”

“You seem to beat yourself up a lot... but don’t. I found out yesterday that lots of people here have lost someone they loved in the past so you’re not alone. In fact, I’m the weird one. Everyone tells me that I grew up in a bubble.”

"I have mom and dad and my life was peaceful. They kept the painful past from  me. The people who loved me and died were like characters in a book. I like them and enjoy thinking about them, but I couldn’t say that I mourned them.”

He made a soft hum in his throat. “You keep them alive that way though... so that’s good. Ru’Yi... this is going to sound really selfish but... can I... keep your Hello Kitty? Just for a little while?”

He was staring at it, running his hands over it.

“Sure. But give him back to me though. I need his encouragement too!”

“Okay, I will.” He settled back against the pillow and sighed.

“Oh... are you tired?” She sat up.

“Yeah. The medicine is harsh. It makes me tired and I lose my appetite. I sleep almost all day.”

“That’s no good... But your blood is stable. Right?”

“Yeah. I just can’t function.” His lips twitched upward.

“Well, they say you’ll get accustomed to it over time. Just rest up!”

He gave a weary nod. “Thank you for coming to see me.”

“I’ll come see you every day. But first I’ll go back and bring your headphones.” She stood up.

“What about your classes? Won’t your grades be affected?” He asked with wide eyes.

“No. I’m smart like that! Don’t worry about my grades!” She grabbed her bag and headed to the door. “Go to sleep. I’ll be back and bring you your headphones.”

“Okay...” He said in quiet wonder. He turned on his side and tucked the doll under his chin. Ru’Yi smiled and left the room.