#he isn't going to leave his wife for max

[no-144444]

FIC-TOBER

Hey everyone! I've decided to participate in the regualr kink-tober stuff (in my own way) :)

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I have a fic fr every day, I'll try and get them out at roughly the smae time but with work and school I'm a little busy so please be mindful of that and also enjoy! Some of these are requests, so thank you to the people that requested and please enjoy!

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October 1st: Making moves  Enemies to lovers -> Lando Norris x publicist  reader  Why did your client have to be such a pain in the ass? 

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October 2nd: The grid: Meet-cutes! 

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October 3rd: Brother’s teammate Brother’s teammate -> Jack Doohan x Gasly reader  It’s not your fault his new teammate is hot (smau)

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October 4th: Married man Private, but not secret -> Lewis Hamilton  Married? Maybe. But why does everyone else need to know? 

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October 5th: (smut): misguided mishaps One bed trope -> Lando Norris x Fewtrell reader  One bed… what could go wrong? 

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October 6th: Love and lies Fake relationship -> Alex Albon x reader “We don’t love each other, right?”

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October 7th: mi señora Everyone else ships you -> Franco Colapinto x Williams reader  “We’ve barely ever spoken!” “He’s in love with you!” 

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October 8th: Presenting y/n y/l/n! Our fav commentator Y/n Y/l/n! Tweets about our favourite F1 commentator!

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October 9th: Judgy McJudgy Pants or Osc? You decide! Things heating up between you and Judgy McJudgy pants...

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October 10th: Losing Battle Marriage of convenience -> Lance Stroll “Children?” “No way.”

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October 11th: Temptations (semi-smut 18+) Skinny dipping-> Max Verstappen god forbid a girl has hobbies tmz. 

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October 11th: Accidental injury Injury causer-> Logan Sargeant x engineer! reader “Watch where you’re going please?!” 

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October 12th: a story for a dinner party (smut 18+) Trapped in an elevator -> Liam Lawson x driver! reader “Don’t move!” “I’m not moving!”

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October 13th: Persistent Pestering Sworn off relationships and ‘I’m in love with you’ -> Charles LeClerc  Ferrari drivers are persistent. You’re not looking for love. Too bad he is. 

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October 14th:  The grid: wedding shenanigans! ୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ

October 15th: smile, even though it’s breaking. Sunshine vs. Grumpy -> Daniel Riccarrdo x RB mechanic! reader “Do you even stop smiling?” “Only when you’re not around.”

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October 16th: Listening ears on Matchmaking gone wrong -> Zhou Guanyo x Bottas reader  How come when you try to set Zhou up, it always ends badly? (smau)

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October 17th: Admin looking for love! Secret pining -> Carlos Sainz x williams admin! reader  Why did Alex Albon feel the need to post you on his story as a ‘lonely woman looking for love’? And why did Carlos Sainz dm you after it? 

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October 18th: Creepy guy who isn't all that creepy Coffee mix up -> Ollie Bearman  Why does your cappuccino taste like shit? And why are you being followed by a random 6 foot man? 

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October 19th: Opposites attract, right? Forgetful-> George Russell  “Where’s my-” “Babe, stop leaving things lying around!” 

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October 20th: Happy accident! Accidentally married -> Max Verstappen  Good night, right? 

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October 21st: Stoic much? Secret baby -> Oscar Piastri  “You have a wife?” “You have a kid?!” 

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October 22nd: The grid: Time for a hot lap! 

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October 23rd: All grown up! Childhood crush -> Arthur Leclerc  “I had a crush on you as a kid.” “Same.” “What?!”

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October 24th: Breaking up (not making up) The one that got away -> Kimi Antonelli  “So we’re done?” “yeah.”

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October 25th: Wallflowers like flowers too Friends to lovers -> Oscar Piastri  “I got you some flowers.” “Why?” “Because they’re pretty, like you.”

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October 26th: Thoughtless love Best friends to lovers -> Paul Aron Being with him is just easy.

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October 27th:Lovers in denial Won't admit it-> Logan Sargeant  “I don’t like her!” “Exactly, you love her!” 

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October 28th: Was it casual? Scared to commit -> Lando Norris  Aren't we just casual?

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October 29th: The Grid: Late for a date!

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October 30th:  The Grid: confesses! 

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October 31st: Chancer Halloween party -> Oscar Piastri Can he figure out who you are at the masquerade ball before you leave forever?

[adventuringblind]

He Must Be Lucky!

Max Verstappen x Reader

Genre: fluff and crack

Summary: Max gets wasted and can't remember that the reader is his wife. It's endearing how much he simps bith sober and drunk.

Warnings: Alcohol consumption, a wild party (at least for Max), Max being down bad

Notes: This one is for @amajixi! I hope you like it! Does anybody wanna send me asks and talk about drivers with me? Give me your most feral thoughts because I'm genuinely curious... please >_< (I even turned my anonymous asks back on please just send me things).

Side note: my fics haven't been getting much traction as they usually do. Is it something on my end? Have y'all disappeared on me? I know I shouldn't care, but y'all are the only ones that validate my writing T_T

Masterlist // Request Form // My Website // buy me a Ko-Fi

Max has a track record of partying hard. It's who he is, and she lives him for it. There isn't any kind of gripe of hang-up, just Max having fun and doing dumb shit that makes her laugh.

Lando is throwing a - well - a party. There was an excuse for it in the invitation, but she's too buzzed to remember it.

The echoing sound of Max's laughter ricochets off the walls. Daniel is with him, probably getting them into more trouble, but she knows Daniel will look after him. At least until he's trashed and can't get off the floor.

Alex brings her another shot glass. She has no idea what's in it, but Alex is letting loose, and she'll be damned if she doesn't partake.

He raises the shot glass in a toast. "To whatever this party is!" He cheers. They clink their glasses together and down the shots. She gags at whatever was in it.

"The fuck was that, Alex?!" She sputters.

He gives her a blank look. Really thinking hard about what he gave her. "I've got no idea."

The hours seem to tick by. The people are slowly dissipating, leaving the safety of this weird little bubble they've created.

She's lightly buzzed still, having danced off the majority of the shots Alex had her doing. The couch is her new best friend, and Lando had brought her a blanket at some point in the last twenty minutes.

A weight on the other end of the sofa catches her attention. Max, with complete adoration in his blue eyes, is staring at her. "Wow," he slurs. "You are the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen."

She laughs at his drunken thoughts. "You're not too bad looking yourself, babe."

The smile on his face is almost childish. It's big enough to almost fall off. His cheeks tinged a darker red with the blush adding to the alcohol flush.

"Go on a date with me? Please?" He tries to pout, but it ends up looking awkward mixed with the grin.

She flashes the ring at him. "Sorry, I'm spoken for." Alex and Lando are giggling from where they are watching this interaction unfold.

Max looks like a wounded puppy. Eye's glossing over like her might cry. "He must be such a lucky guy. You're just so perfect!"

"Awe, love, you wanna know a secret?" She leans in to whisper into Max's ear. "You married me."

If Max could hand you the world on a silver platter, he might have tried in this moment. The Dutch is vibrating in pure, unadulterated joy. Like a child who just got the ice-cream they were so desperately craving.

"Holy shit! I'm the lucky guy!"

Max smothers himself against your body. Eventually falling asleep, mumbling about how she's so amazing, and how he loves her so much. It's endearing to here his drunk affections laid bare for everyone to see.

It's the lullaby that calms her to a restful state. Fingers tangling with the softness of his hair. "You're not the only one who's lucky. I guess I'm pretty lucky, too."

[lilghostiequinni]

Your Married?

Main Masterlist Lando Masterlist

Pairing: wife!female oc (Izara) x Lando Norris

Warnings: Fluffy, Established relationship, Pregnancy talk

Summary: Lando is one to have everything in the open, but that isn't the case when it comes to his wife, but he also isn't hiding that he's married, but the almost 8 years of marriage and the three, now five, kids, no one knew about.

Requested: NO / yes

Lando wears jewelry outside of driving, but it isn't often that he wears his ring on his finger, mainly because it's just easier to wear it on a chain to not lose it when he inevitably has to take it off to drive.

But over the breaks, he wears it all the time.

So when he comes back from summer break, he hasn't quite moved it to the chain he always wears outside of the car, and a few fans see it.

But what really gets Lando shocked about people not knowing about his family is the number of drivers that actually brought this "rumor" to his attention.

So, for the next race, he walks in on Facetime with his wife.

Carlos is the first to Lando.

"You never answered after I told you about the rumor," Carlos told him, not seeing the phone in his hand.

"Because it's not a rumor. Baby, meet Carlos, Carlos, my wife, Izara," Lando shows Carlos the phone as he says the name of his wife.

From the screen, Carlos can see a woman waving at him from a hospital bed.

"What happened?" Carlos said as he waved back.

"She just gave birth to our fourth and fifth kids," Lando says it so calmly that Carlos almost thinks he's pranking him.

"Oh, Baby, I got to go. The nurse just came in. I'll Facetime you when we're done over here," Izara says as she blows a kiss to Lando, who does the same.

"Make sure our boys are there, please, I want to talk to them." Izara nods at Lando as they both hang up.

Carlos looks at Lando like he's grown seven more heads and is 20 feet tall.

"Why didn't I know about this?" Carlos questions as both start to walk toward the garages.

"I don't know, I've only talked about Izara like she hung the sun for years. Not my words about the sun thing," Lando told him, looking at Carlos.

"I know you've talked about her, but you never said you were dating, let alone married with kids."

They got to McLaren, and Carlos went to say something as Oscar passed to go in but was stopped by the older driver.

"Did you know Lando was married?" Carlos questioned him.

"No, I know he's with Izara," Oscar says, answering the question.

"Did you know he had kids?" Carlos asked.

"He has kids?" Oscar questioned.

"Yes, I have kids, five of them," Lando says to his teammate, looking up from his phone, which he was texting his wife.

"What?" Max questions as he passes to get to Red Bull.

"Yes, I'm married and have been for almost 8 years. Yes, I have kids, five of them. Two of them were born two days ago, so I would much rather be there than here. Anything else?"

Charles had joined as Lando started, and he was just as confused as the others.

George and Lewis came over when they seen the group, just standing around Lando.

Alex follows behind with Logan.

"You have babies? Newborn babies?" Charles questions after a moment of silence.

Lando just nods at his question.

"Yes, I want to get this race over to go them," Lando says.

"What?" George and Alex say at the same time.

"Alex, you knew about my wife and the twins." The other drivers turn to Alex, who smiles a bit nervously.

"Well, I did, but you didn't tell me, I found out through Lily. You know, your wife's best friend, my girlfriend."

"You still knew," George says.

"What do you mean? Carmen knows her, and Oscar's Lily and Alexandra know her. I think Kelly and Rebecca, too." Alex tells the group.

Lewis looks to all of them, then to Lando, "Congrats, man."

Lando nods at the older man in thanks before Lewis leaves, and Lando also leaves when he realizes all the other drivers are looking to Alex for answers about the bomb he dropped about their girlfriends, so he makes an escape to McLaren.

A/N: This one is getting a Part 2, no matter what anyone says.

Tags: @poppyflower-22 @samantha-chicago @barcelonaloverf1life @tallrock35 @ellen3101 @llando4norris @mcmuppet @issi-loves-dannyric @1800-love-me @barcelonaloverf1life @hellothere9597

If you want to be removed from a tag list, let me know so I don't keep tagging you. If you are striked through, I don't know if you want to be tagged, but just let me know if you want me to continue or stop

[fastandcarlos]

: ̗̀➛ IMAGINE

: ̗̀➛ Cuddles Are Home

as max arrives home after a busy day, he's keen to try something new, however it doesn't quite work out as well as he imagined

: ̗̀➛ Sweet Voice

the sobs of your daughter could be heard for miles, but there's one voice that always seems to know the way to soothe her

: ̗̀➛ The Biggest Tease

you're all for supporting max's career, but isn't a sex ban just a step too far?

: ̗̀➛ Restless Baby

1.1k words of dad and husband max trying to fix the angsty mess that he’s made

: ̗̀➛ Padel Queen

when max suggests couples padel with george and carmen, he worries about how good you'll be, little does he know though what a master of padel you are

: ̗̀➛ Never An Interruption

you’re all ready to celebrate max’s win with him, only when you find someone already there to celebrate, you begin to question the role you truly play in max’s life

: ̗̀➛ The Perfect Wake Up

reunited at last, the two of you savour the feeling of finally being back with each other again

: ̗̀➛ Sleepless Nights

as your daughter cries out yet again, you can’t help but feel like the problem, especially when max swoops in and saves the day again

: ̗̀➛Baby Sibling

whilst all his friends are having siblings, your son is keen for the two of you to start thinking about when he can have one too

: ̗̀➛ Bump Cuddles

watching you pregnant is a dream for max, especially with your bump there on offer for him to always snuggle up to

: ̗̀➛ Sleepless Nights

when max leaves you and your daughter to stream for the night, only one of you is happy to let max go and play for a while

: ̗̀➛ Helping Hand

what was supposed to be a nice dinner for the two of you is ended with fans waiting around. with your nerves growing, max is there to protect you

: ̗̀➛ My Little Graduate

you’re all prepared to graduate with your family by your side, and an unexpected extra sneaking into the crowd

: ̗̀➛ Home For The Summer

travelling around the world with max is one of your favourite things to do, however none of it compares to home. even though you can’t afford to make it there, someone else might just

: ̗̀➛ Clingy

how does it feel to have the clingiest partner in the world? well, max verstappen can tell you

: ̗̀➛ All Your Little Things

imagine being able to date the perfect gentleman, well that’s exactly what you get being the one in a relationship with max

: ̗̀➛ She's In Labour, Now?

it wasn’t supposed to happen yet, especially with max preparing for a race…

: ̗̀➛ SMAU

: ̗̀➛ Family Affair

it’s a family affair at the singapore grand prix as the entire verstappen family come to cheer max on

: ̗̀➛ Missing Piece

fans are beginning to notice your absence around the paddock, little do they know the amazing reason you’re finding yourself hiding away

: ̗̀➛ Hometown Glory

it all leads up to the race at zandevoort, and we all know how it ends

: ̗̀➛ Life With The Verstappen Family

a glimpse into the life of the verstappen family and your two little ones who are always causing chaos

: ̗̀➛ A Decade Of Love

as you and max celebrate ten years together, take a look at a snapshot of your social media for each one of those years

: ̗̀➛ Summer Break

with three weeks off to enjoy yourselves, you and max make the most of it adventuring together

: ̗̀➛ "Hey Stranger!"

with your conflicting schedules, match day always clashes with race day. it means it’s been a while since you’ve seen max, until you pull a few strings 🥺

: ̗̀➛ Baby Perez Is Mine

after getting to know your brother’s team mate max, you soon find that it’s more than just a friendship that’s struck between the two of you

: ̗̀➛ TEXTS

: ̗̀➛ Pregnant Wife Texts

[leclerc-s]

karma - part five

series masterlist // previous // next

charles_leclerc and natalia_leclerc posted new stories

je vous aimerai pour toujours (i'll love you forever)

"bébé, tu es l'amour de ma vie" (baby, you are the love of my life)

siempre te amare (i'll always love you)

tehe, that's my husband 🥰

hey siri, play slut! (taylor's version)

charles_leclerc posted new stories

how did i get so lucky?

😘😍

liked by gracieabrams, sukiwaterhouse, kellypiquet and others

natalia_leclerc no words to describe what it has meant to me to go on this journey with people i love. daisyjonesandthesix  has been the greatest, most fulfilling gift. it’s surreal that it has come to an end, but i have made friends for life, and memories that will bring a smile to my face forever. i could’ve never anticipated exactly how much love this show would get and how my life would change. it has just exceeded all of our dreams. i’m so proud of how far we’ve come. congratulations to all of the winners and nominees 💙 thank you televisionacad for this recognition. oh baby, look at us now 🎶

view all comments

user1 charles leclerc, you lucky son of a gun

user2 so cunty of her to be wearing red to the emmys. she owns that color.

landonorris DID YOU MEET TAYLOR SWIFT??

natalia_leclerc maybe. maybe not? charles_leclerc she almost cried. natalia_leclerc traitor landonorris and? i would too, she isn't special.

user3 can charles fight??

user4 red bull may be falling apart but charles will still simp over his wife.

sukiwaterhouse oh baby you looked gorgeous 😘

natalia_leclerc it was all you corazon charles_leclerc please stop flirting with my wife. sukiwaterhouse never you french man. charles_leclerc MONÉGASQUE!! I'M MONÉGASQUE!! sukiwaterhouse french adjacent 🤷🏼‍♀️

francesca.cgomes what a beautiful girl 💙

natalia_leclerc aww baby 💙 user5 praying for my man charles. everyone loves his wife.

user6 you're telling me lightning mcqueen pulled her?? how??

alex_albon believe me, we've been asking ourselves that same question since 2018. landonorris it's a miracle really pierregasly she is the sally to his mcqueen natalia_leclerc and pierre is the mater to his mcqueen

kellypiquet you look amazing red is definitely your color 💙

natalia_leclerc thank you kelly!

max verstappen so does anyone know who our new team principal is going to be??

charles leclerc i'm still trying to wrap my head around daniel not driving this season. sebastian vettel i haven't been told anything yet. natalia leclerc as if they're going to tell me. i only know everything because charles tells me everything.

max verstappen i was hoping someone would know something. i think the anticipation will slowly kill me.

charles leclerc good, then i can become champion. sebastian vettel not that he needs you to be dead to beat you.

max verstappen i guess we'll see won't we?

charles leclerc we will, won't we? natalia leclerc men 🙄

sebastian vettel i think if we don't know anything it's because they haven't found a replacement.

max verstappen then that's stupid, why are they going to announce it when they haven't found someone to replace him?

natalia leclerc because even now we can't get away from spanish papers. someone leaked this shit.

sebastian vettel i have a crazy idea.

charles leclerc how crazy are we talking here?

sebastian vettel i'll be back in like 40 minutes.

max verstappen way to leave us hanging seb

40 minutes later

sebastian vettel i don't know how successful i was but i think they'll think about it.

natalia leclerc seb, what did you do?

sebastian vettel hopefully something worthy of younger seb's chaos.

max verstappen we're fucked

charles leclerc don't be mean. as long as it's not another multi-21 we'll be fine.

sebastian vettel oh my god. let it go. charles leclerc as long as people still hold the inchident against me. i will hold multi-21 against you.

natalia leclerc i don't know why anyone thinks you three are serious people. you're all children.

max verstappen says the woman who's been thiristing over her husband on social media.

"how long did it take you to convince him?" natalia asked. sebastian huffed, "i almost got down on my knees to beg."

"it would not have come to that," kimi replied.

sebastian rolled his eyes, "he was enjoying it. i had to ask his wife to help me convince him. they gave me a deadline to get him on board."

"was there any other option?" max questioned.

"jenson," seb answered at the same time kimi said, "mark."

charles laughed, "oh, would it not have been great to see seb and mark on the same team again?"

"they would've killed each other," max realized.

"no, we wouldn't," sebastian argued. natalia gave him a shit-eating grin, "you still have to see him at the paddock, like every week. he's oscar's manager."

"the mini-me?" kimi quizzed, looking up from his ice cream, because nothing would stop him from enjoying ice cream. everyone at the table looked at him confused, kimi shrugged, "i read what people say. sometimes."

the conversation was stopped by kelly's arrival, "sorry, i'm late. daniil was running late and- nevermind. did you order yet?"

max shook his head, "just kimi, said he needed his ice cream."

"it's very good," kimi replied, "but i don't share."

sebastian huffed again, "i made a huge mistake."

"too late."

taglist: @janeholt3 @vroomvroommuppett @charlesgirl16 @someoneintheworld @iconicbookstore @evans-dejong @minmira95 @leanneg97 @asparklysoul @d3kstar @lollie0024 @magical-spit @gemnetjournal @rockyhayzkid @weekendlusting @ironspdy @namgification @moonyzsworld @Fall-bambi @emilyval1 @lorenakaspersen @spilled-coffee-cup @butterfly-lover @blushmimi @mgmoore @lovely-blackinnon @six-call @bingewatche @vroomvroom95 @lesliiieeeee @itscrzy @alymeddar @fletchingarcher @casperlikej @minmira95

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¡leclerc-s speaks! hope i didn't let anyone down with the kimi reveal, which due to popular demand, i just had to go with him. trust when i say i would've gone with seb if i didn't already have plans for him. listen, i love ollie, he is a baby, and i just had to include him somehow. so i took creative liberties. realistically this couldn't happen but oh well, poaching him and arthur was definitely seb's idea. also, please don't hate me for the daniel thing but liam lawson deserves an f1 seat and he's getting one in this story. at least i didn't get rid of him completely.

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[astonmartinii]

Would love a Danny Ric with Bollywood star and their wedding face claim Alia Bhatt

wedding bells | daniel ricciardo social media au

pairing: daniel ricciardo x bollywood!reader

looks like daniel used his time off for more than a little down time with the australian wilderness

danielricciardo

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 761,066 others

danielricciardo: enjoying the aussie wilderness and the people i love in my time off 😎

view all 51,567 comments

user47 he's looking so so much better i'm happy for him but gawd i miss him so much

user90 y/n MOTHER? what are you doing here ???

maxverstappen1 don't miss me too much 😘

danielricciardo our love will never die maxy - text me xoxo

user98 this bromance will never die

user32 not to sound like a delusional person but "people i love" hmmmmmm surely if he just meant family he'd say family - right?

user21 this is a stretch it could mean friends

yourusername added to their story

[caption: had a lovely little visitor on set today]

danielricciardo

liked by redbullracing, yourusername and 1,102,308 others

danielricciardo: heart to heart

view all 110,899 comments

user13 WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE HOUSE OF COMMONS

maxverstappen1 u guys are so cute it's gross

danielricciardo you love us really maxy

maxverstappen1 ... yes but if you kiss in front of me again you'll be on thin ice

user31 KISS?? AGAIN?? HE'S REALLY CUFFED?

user87 bestie i hate to tell you this but that's defo y/n y/ln (she's a really famous bollywood actress) and there's been a lot of rumours she's engaged

user31 DON'T KICK ME WHILE I'M DOWN (i just googled her and i'm so jealous of both of them)

landonorris you're cheating on me?

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1 and 3,234,784 others

yourusername: exploring 🐨

view all 231,956 comments

user56 please show me your left hand right now

user78 y/n look at me this isn't you DON'T LEAVE ME AND THE KIDS

user45 glad to see we're all having the same break down after that article

user20 daniel and max liked this guys it's defo them

user91 i will not lose my wife to a man who drives for a living I CAN START WORKING AT UBER Y/N JUST SAY THE WORD

danielricciardo

liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing and 1,672,201 others

tagged: yourusername

danielricciardo: tied the knot with the love of my life, what did you do this weekend?

view all 139,876 comments

user38 WHAT.THE.FUCK

maxverstappen1 watched my best friend marry the love of his life

landonorris watched my old teammate cry his eyes out at his own wedding

charles_leclerc watched danny ric give a 15 minute long speech about how much he loves y/n

user89 these comments omg how did we not know

user13 daniel with an indian girl someone pinch me

yourusername

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 7,902,347 others

tagged: danielricciardo

yourusername: we've been through the hardest times together but it all just made this weekend so much better. sharing my culture with our friends and family made this ceremony so special to me. i can't wait for the rest of our lives together

view all 401,288 comments

user56 do not talk to me for three business days

maxverstappen1 thank you for letting me be part of your big day love you guys

yourusername thank you for being there maxy

user33 oh my god the wedding looks mother is slaying so much

user21 wait so we might see y/n in the f1 paddock my worlds are colliding

user76 my two faves are married life has peaked here

redbullracing

liked by christianhorner, alexalbon and 731,872 others

tagged: danielricciardo, yourusername

redbullracing: they grow up so fast 😢 our resident honey badger married his long-time girlfriend y/n this weekend! congratulations to the happy couple, we hope to see you guys in the garage soon!

view all 59,023 comments

user35 she's the best wag now hands down

danielricciardo awwww thanks you guys we'll be there

yourusername thank you !! can't wait to finally come to the paddock

maxverstappen1 yess parents coming to watch me xxx

user47 i never thought i'd see y/n and f1 crossover but i'm living for it

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 2,304,786 others

tagged: danielricciardo

yourusername: loving my life with you

view all 126,731 comments

user76 we're being so fed with content i love this relationship so much

danielricciardo i can assure you i love it more

yourusername not possible

user56 y/n simping on main MOTHER PLS

maxverstappen1 come visit please i miss you guys

danielricciardo

liked by redbullracing, yourusername and 1,087,445 others

tagged: yourusername

danielricciardo: showing the wife my day job

view all 201,677 comments

yourusername insanely proud of you in everything you do x

danielricciardo god i love you so much

user66 mother in the paddock 🚨 mother in the paddock 🚨

redbullracing good to see you both

christianhorner great to meet you y/n!

maxverstappen1 you guys must be my lucky charm

note: thank you for your request i hope i did it some justice!

[emmcarstairs]

The Ghoul and Lucy MacLean as Modern Orpheus and Eurydice: A Fallout Meta

(art by Jean-Baptiste-Camille Corot)

We’ve all heard the Greek myth of Orpheus who ventures to the Underworld to bring his wife Eurydice back to life. It’s one of the greatest tragic love stories that has been retold and passed down to us in different forms of media.

Isn’t it interesting that Fallout begins with The End and ends with The Beginning? It refers to the bombs falling in the first episode, and the past being revealed in the last, but I believe it goes deeper than that. It’s a direct reflection of Lucy’s character journey.

Lucy’s journey begins with the shattering of her perfect world. It's the end of her life as she has known it. The event that triggers her descent (in her case, ascent) is the raiders’ attack. Which significantly happens at her wedding. Lucy is stabbed by her husband who had snuck into her Vault with deception. Similarly, Eurydice is bitten by a snake at her wedding with Orpheus, which kills her and sends her to the Underworld.

Interestingly enough, if we think of Norm's words as Lucy walks down the aisle, the Ghoul is coded as a possible husband for Lucy. And it's only after she goes to the Underworld/Wasteland that we are introduced to the Ghoul.

In a post-nuclear world, hell would be on the surface and heaven under the ground. The Ghoul emerges from the underground like Lucy as if he's coming after her. (It's funny that three men welcome him as if he's Orpheus at the gates of the Underworld and they're Cerberus.)

After the tragic wedding, Lucy resides in the Underworld. (An important note here is that while we learn that the Wasteland isn't dead, it is perceived as an Underworld by the Vault dwellers.) Throughout her journey, there is one person who, by happenstance, is always on her trail.

In the final episode titled The End, we find some thematic and visual similarities with The Beginning. Lucy is again betrayed by a person she considers family. Also, the passage of time in both episodes (midday-sunset-night) is clearly marked by the change of colors in the sky.

Two significant scenes for Lucy happen during the sunset. As a symbol, the sunset stands for transition or even death. The world is changed for the night. It's both an end and a new beginning. It's a meeting between the day and the night. In both these scenes, Lucy agrees to share her journey with another person.

If we rewind back to the Ghoul's entrance in the scene, we see him catching Hank by surprise with his words. In fact, the Ghoul speaks a lot and almost enthralls his enemies with his power of speech/acting. It's reminiscent of Orpheus' gift of music which helps him tame the beasts.

Here begins the deviation from the original story. In the myth, Eurydice has no agency. Orpheus ventures into the Underworld, begs for her soul, and takes her on the journey back. Some modern critics point out she'd already forgotten him and wouldn't want to return back to life.

The Ghoul offers Lucy a clear choice between her staying with the dead (in this moment, they are surrounded by Max's unconscious body and her mother's remains, as well as the soldiers' corpses) and risking that she dies herself. Or going with him to learn more about the world.

Another important element in the myth, is the backward glance. Hades lets Eurydice leave the Underworld on condition that Orpheus doesn't look back at her until they make it out. As they near the exit, Orpheus turns back and Eurydice vanishes back in the Underworld forever.

In this case, the backward glance isn't a condition. Yet, in this scene, the Ghoul and Lucy's gazes don't meet at all! He has his back turned to her and the one time he turns around, she isn't looking at him. It shows their vulnerability but also their newfound mutual trust.

What follows is the scene that inspired this whole meta. The night has fallen. The Ghoul climbs up from a ruined building's dark exit alone. After a moment, Lucy emerges too. They have made it! And the Ghoul still isn't looking back at her. He leads and knows she'll follow him.

Take a look at this bit from A. S. Kline's translation of Ovid's Metamorphoses, Book X, and look at the following frame:

"They took the upward path, through the still silence, steep and dark, shadowy with dense fog, drawing near to the threshold of the upper world."

A final note about Orpheus and Eurydice's names: Orpheus means "the darkness of the night", while Eurydice means "wide justice". Well, what can I say?

Looking back on my Lucy analysis, it's interesting that the final scene with them both emerging from underground marks the transition between Act 2 and Act 3, or Death (Transformation) and Emergence (Support). This would've been Eurydice's POV journey if Orpheus had succeeded.

[allwaswell16]

A fic rec of One Direction fics in which the characters are close to the age they are now in 2024 as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics, please leave kudos and comments for the writers! You can find my other fic recs here. Happy reading!

- Louis/Harry -

💠 The Greatest Thing by @infinitelymint

(E, 168k, canon) Harry and Louis haven’t spoken since the band broke up when a dangerous combination of Niall Horan, tequila, and an ordained Elvis impersonator means that the two of them have to embark on their biggest publicity stunt to date - together.

💠  And What If I Were You by jacaranda_bloom / @jacaranda-bloom

(E, 109k, famous/not famous) For Louis, will losing his sight give him the clarity to realise what is right in front of him? For Harry, will losing the love of his life give him the strength to finally open his heart? And can they find their way back, before they lose each other forever?

💠 Desires for Woolgatherings by isolated

(E, 86k, Maniac au) In the midst of his second world tour, Louis Tomlinson receives the devastating news that his former bandmate, Harry Styles, is in critical condition after an unfortunate accident. 

💠 When the Lights Go Out by thelarenttrap / @antidotetogo

(E, 79k, F1 au) In its near eighty years of existence, Formula 1 has never had an out gay driver. In 2017, Harry Styles signs a contract with Scuderia AlphaTauri alongside his childhood friend and competitor, Louis Tomlinson. The next decade of their careers is some of the most tumultuous press--on and off the track--Formula 1 has ever seen.

💠 another dream but always you by you_explode / @nobodymoves

(M, 60k, superpowers) Harry is a Dreamwalker; he has the ability to visit people in their dreams and help put them on the right path. He's assigned to Louis, who's struggling after the break-up of his band.

💠  you were in my dream by staybeautiful / @harruandlou

(E, 60k, acquaintances to lovers) Louis woke up after having a sexy dream about his best friend’s boyfriend’s best friend resolved to never think about it again. He hardly knew Harry, so what difference would it make? But when they are thrown together only a few days later, Louis had to admit, his subconscious might have been onto something.

💠 I Really Like Your Styles: The Baking Advent-ure by @homosociallyyours

(T, 35k, coffee shop) Louis isn't much for frills, and the coffee shop he co-owns with his best friend Liam is evidence of that. Yes, it's got a decent sized, well-kept industrial kitchen, but Louis insists that people come to coffee shops for coffee, not mediocre pastry and plastic wrapped cookies. 

💠 If I had no love to give (I wouldn't give it to you) by @kingsofeverything

(E, 30k, restaurant au) Small town restaurateur Louis Tomlinson needs someone competent to work in his kitchen. Chef Harry Styles needs a job.

💠 Bitter Ends Turn Sweet by @allwaswell16

(E, 30k, songfic) It had been four years since Harry first heard the song his ex wrote about him and far longer since they broke up. He forgave Louis long ago, and now his life was focused on his career, his family, and especially his son, Max. But Louis was back in Chicago, after all this time, and he’s not an easy man to ignore.

💠 signs and wonders by @scrunchyharry

(E, 29k, cheating) On the surface, it looks like Louis Tomlinson has the perfect life; after all, he has the whole package: a white picket fence house (well, his doesn’t technically have a white picket fence, but work with him), a wife, a daughter and a dog. He has it all and he’s not even 30, yet.

💠 Somebody's Got Your Trainers On (It's You) by bluegreenish / @greenblueish

(E, 28k, hospital au) the one where, after two years, paediatrician Harry returns to Silver Street Hospital and with it to paediatric nurse Louis' life.

💠 what's left of my halo's black by LiveLaughLoveLarry / @loveislarryislove

(E, 22k, fwb) A year after a devastating breakup, Louis is still trying to put himself back together - but getting over a breakup is hard when you work as a wedding planner. Thankfully, his coworker Harry is the most supportive friend Louis could ask for.

💠 Rolling Stone UK Awards AU (series) by INnenaHeart / @thechavier

(M, 15k, canon divergence) Harry started walking away from him and he felt like he was missing the moment, if he let him go like this he would lose on something. Something great. Something beautiful.

💠 Seems You Cannot Be Replaced by QuickedWeen / @becomeawendybird

(M, 5k, time jump) Harry and the popular boy in school, Louis Tomlinson, share a tension-filled night together when they're young. Fifteen years later they see each other again.

💠 Tuca Tuca (ILikeYouILikeYouILikeYou) by @persephoneflouwers

(E, 4k, canon) The San Francisco getaway AU, where Harry is needy and Louis has a flight to LA in a few hours.

💠 Let Me Taste Your Silhouette by LetTheMusicMoveYou / @letthemusicmoveyou28

(E, 4k, pwp) the one where Harry accidentally posts a picture to his main Instagram story instead of only to his close friends, and he just happens to be wearing a 28 Official Programme shirt. Louis happens to notice

💠 Jealousy Looks Good On You, Baby by cigarettesbeforesex

(M, 4k, pwp) A flirtatious stranger wanted to entice Louis by buying him a drink from the bar. The handsome 29-year-old tavern manager with curly hair, who Louis (often) flirts with, is currently working on shift...Poor Curly, because he's the one that has to deliver the drink to him.

💠 spring in your eyes by @nouies

(NR, 3k, fake relationship) “Just Go with It” inspired AU where plastic surgeon Harry pretends to be married to his assistant Louis to avoid unwanted attention.

💠 From the Dining Table by @littleroverlouis

(E, 3k, established relationship) Harry's thirtieth birthday hasn't gone as expected. Things start looking up from the dining table.

- Rare Pairs -

💠 Live a Thousand Lifetimes by Layne Faire / @laynefaire

(E, 57k, Zayn/Liam) With the whirlwind about to begin again, Liam re-evaluates the last ten years - the fame, the money, the people who changed his life forever - and the person who walked away.

💠 Eight Days by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13

(T, 22k, Liam/Louis)  Louis and Liam got hitched in Vegas, completely forgot about it for more than a decade, and it comes back to bite them. Sort of.

[vivziepopcriticalconfessions]

I'm scared Lucifer and Lilith will become a less problematic version of Stolas and Stella.

In HB Stella is used a shortcut to make Stolas into the gay sad boi victim Viv is desperate for us to see him as, Stolas cheats on her and it's treated as a, "LOLLLLLL GET REKED BITCH DIVORCE PARTY!!!". She doesn't have any character besides being Stolas' screaming abusive ex wife he was forced to have intercourse with. I know a character doesn't need to be multi dimensional to be good, but it's clear she's badly written.

Stolas is the creator's pet who ruined the show, alongside his ship. He never takes accountability for his actions, and consequences are dodged like bullets. He'll always be treated as a victim when he's the complete opposite. Octavia will always be forced to forgive him, Blitz will always be a monster in their conflicts and so on.

I'm scared Viv will repeat history using Lilith and Lucifer.

Ever since the final scene of the final episode, the fandom was livid with Lilith. The fandom was convinced Lilith was a terrible person who made poor luci sad. They treat this as canon and use it as an excuse to make Lucifer a depressed victim. At this point I'm starting to fear Lilith won't even be a character, just another ticket to victimize Lucifer.

What's worse is that we don't know the full story. Everyone sewed themselves to the thought of Lilith being pure evil and babied Lucifer to the max.

And if Lucifer ends up being at fault for Lilith leaving/Lilith had every right to leave, the fandom will go blow up and the show will gaslight everyone into thinking Lilith is the monster who made Lucifer sad.

This is feeling familiar to me. Viv isn't a good writer, and when she has a favorite, everyone suffers.

Viv may make Lucifer dodge accountability like angelic steel, Viv may demonize Lilith/anyone who wrongs Lucifer no matter what they do.

I'm honestly scared.

ANOTHER ANON THESIS LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOO! :D

[russellsppttemplates]

hi I love your writing so much

can u write a blurb of max and Julia and fin where they got in trouble at school and reader and max got called called for a parent’s meeting

Cw: kid being bullied

Note: thank you ✨️

"Did you notice anything weird lately?", you asked Max as he parked the car, "nope, they have been fine, they don't complain about anything, I'm not sure why they did this", he said, holding your hand once you were out of the car and walking into the school. After a quick chat with the secretary at the front to let the principal know you were there, you were welcomed to the office, Julia and Finn sitting in the chairs, feet swinging since they couldn't reach the floor.

"Thank you for coming", the principal said, shaking your and Max's hand, "I think it's best if they explains why I called you here", he said, sitting down as you did the same, facing your kids.

"We were in the playground, and we noticed there was a group of boys being mean to Lyla - she's the new girl I told you about, mama -, and they were calling her those words you told us were mean and bad", Julia said, "so I went up to Finn and his friends because I thought they could help since the boys calling her names were from the year behind them", your daughter reasoned.

"I went there with my friends to talk and then they took our football", Finn continued, "because of that, I tried to go get the ball back and when the other boy wad dribbling away from me, I ran and I nudged the ball as he was kicking it so the ball went on the window and it shattered", Finn said.

By the way your husband was closing his fists, you figured he was thinking about the same things and worried about the same issue as you, a different worry from the principal it seemed.

"I know I shouldn't have done that, and I'm sorry that I broke the window", Finn turned to the principal, "and I'm sorry if we disappointed you, but we wasn't going to let them carry on!", Julia reasoned as you and Max looked at both of them.

"We have also spoken to the other kids' parents, you were the last ones. Fortunately, it was the cleaning supplies' closet and no ine was there, so no one got hurt", the principal attempted to gain your attention as you both kept looking at your kids.

"Both me and my wife appreciate you telling us, but the only issue here is that you're allowing this in your school. We can pay for the window if that is your problem, but I'd like you to reflect on the whole situation", Max stated calmly.

"As you can imagine, we don't always have control of everything", the principal excused himself.

"Me or my husband won't apologise for what happened. Like you said, no one was harmed, but you should look into paying more attention to Lyla, it's not the first time it was brought to my attention that the little girl is being bullied and no adult seems to be worried about it, when that is in fact where your worry should be", you followed, tone stern and convict.

Leaving the money they asked for the repair, you and Max split up to go with each kid to their classrooms and get their backpacks, "I'm sorry they were mean Lyla, my love, but you did well in defending hour friend, it's a shame they didn't listen to you", you said as you looked at Finn towards the end of the sentence.

"It's not fair", Finn complained, "this principal isn't nice, I don't like him", he pouted.

"Finn, sometimes things don't go our way, and we shouldn't say that about people, okay?", Max lectured as he drove home, squeezing your thigh ans whispering, "as much as I believe what I just said, I have to agree. Since they changed principal, the priorities have been a bit all over tha place", he commented, "might be a good time to reconsider schools", you noted.

(Thank you for submitting an ask ✨️)

[herohimbowhore]

The revolving door of Red Bull drivers within the past decade has always been a topic of discussion.

Webber retires and Ricciardo's in. Vettel leaves for Ferrari and in comes Kyvat. Oops, no Kyvat out, and Verstappen takes his place. Ricciardo leaves and Gasly is promoted to the main team. But Gasly isn't it, and in comes Albon. Nevermind, Albon out and Perez is the man. Or is he?

It's a neverending cycle of one driver in and another replacing him only for rumors about replacements to swirl.

Hundreds of years earlier, similar patterns existed with Henry VIII and his six wives.

This brings forth the question: which wife's narrative suits the most for some of the former and current Red Bull drivers.

Based on the song Ex-Wives from Six: The Musical.

________________________________________________

My name's Catherine Of Aragon

Was married 24 years, I'm a paragon

Of royalty, my loyalty is to the Vatican

So if you try to dump me

You won't try that again

The initial thought for Catherine of Aragon, based solely on being the first wife would be Sebastian Vettel. He's the first Red Bull junior to make it to the main team, take the first win for both Toro Rosso and Red Bull, and win the first championship with the team.

However, Catherine of Aragon is Max Verstappen. Lyrically and based on the narrative, Max Verstappen is most like Catherine.

Paragon of royalty:

This could be translated into a racing lineage. Both of Max's parents were in motorsport. Jos is a former Formula 1 driver, though undeniably nowhere as good as his son. Sophie is a karting and race car driver who competed against Jenson Button, Giancarlo Fisichella, Jarno Trulli, and Nick Heidfeld. Christian Horner in a recent interview on Dax Shepard's podcast eff won with DRS said that he used to kart against Sophie and she beat him.

My loyalty is to the Vatican:

In this situation, the Vatican would be Red Bull. Max's current contract ends in 2028 and he has mentioned many times that he could possibly retire when that contract ends. Max has never talked about a desire to race for another team.

Also, Max is rarely spotted not wearing the team kit. The man is dedicated to the team.

I'm that Boleyn girl

And I'm up next

See, I broke England from the Church

Yeah, I'm that sexy

Why did I lose my head?

Well, my sleeves may be green

But my lipstick's red!

Anne Boleyn is undeniably Sebastian Vettel.

Lyrically and based on the colors mentioned in the song, Sebastian has the makings of the Boleyn girl.

See, I broke England from the Church:

Breaking England from the Church for Sebastian is ending the Red Bull/Sebastian Vettel partnership that had won the team four drivers' championships and four constructors' championships.

Red Bull back then was Sebastian Vettel, they were one and the same. Sebastian got them their first everything and it seemed like a solid partnership until Sebastian signed with Ferrari. Thus, breaking England from the Church, or in this case leaving the team he won with.

Why did I lose my head?:

This is 2020.

Nothing is going right, Sebastian's dropped by Ferrari for Carlos Sainz Jr. Commentators are talking about how he isn't the same Sebastian Vettel and he doesn't have that same level of skill as before, especially in comparison to his younger teammate, Charles Leclerc.

Well, my sleeves may be green but my lipstick's red:

Sebastian retired in Aston Martin green, but he's not going to be remembered as the Aston Martin driver, he'll always be a core piece of Red Bull's history in Formula One.

Another way that this can be interpreted is Christian Horner telling Sebastian that he could always take a year off and come back home (Red Bull) if he wanted after Sebastian was dropped by Ferrari.

Jane Seymour, the only one he truly loved

Rude

When my son was newly born, I died

But I'm not what I seem

Or am I?

Stick around, and you'll suddenly see more

Now, Jane was a difficult one because she could be connected to three different drivers (Sebastian, Daniel, and Checo) at different points in their respective careers. But, in my opinion, based on how the 2023 season has played out, Checo is most like Jane Seymour.

the one he truly loved (rude):

While Checo is probably not the most loved of the drivers for Christian (see: Max, Sebastian, Daniel), the lyric does fit him when put into comparison with Pierre and Alex. Of Checo, Pierre, and Alex, he is the one that was truly loved.

Checo, when not performing to the level that Red Bull wants, has gotten a lot more support than Pierre and Alex. He's also lasted much longer than the other two.

When my son was newly born, I died:

This is Checo's championship aspirations earlier this year.

Just when it looked like Checo could be a legitimate challenger for Max in the drivers' championship, he had a fall in form. After two race wins and only a few points separating them, there was hope that maybe, just maybe Checo could beat Max. But following Miami, Max went on to have a record-breaking amount of consecutive wins. Thus, killing the newly born championship dreams for 2023.

Ich bin Anna of Cleves

Ja

When he saw my portrait he was like

Ja!

But I didn't look as good as I did in my pic

Funny how we all discuss that, but never Henry's little

One thing Anna of Cleves and Pierre Gasly had in common was that they both only had a short union with Henry VIII and Red Bull. However, after the breakup, they continued to be tied to their ex.

Anna of Cleves stayed in England and was a present figure in Henry VIII's life after their divorce, sometimes called his sister. Pierre Gasly was demoted to the junior team, AlphaTauri, and stayed there for a few years.

When he saw my portrait he was like, Ja!:

When Daniel left Red Bull, they needed to bring someone in to replace him, and out of the two drivers on the junior team, they picked Pierre. They saw his portrait (his record with the junior team) and thought it good enough to be promoted.

But I didn't look as good as I did in my pic:

Pierre's time with Red Bull is short-lived, just like Anna of Cleves' marriage to Henry VIII. He wasn't performing like Red Bull wanted, therefore, didn't look as good as he did when they signed him. Which led to a premature end and quick replacement just halfway through the 2019 season.

Prick up your ears, I'm the Katherine who lost her head

For my promiscuity outside of wed

Lock up your husbands, lock up your sons

K Howard is here, and the fun's begun

If Pierre is Anna of Cleves, then Alex Albon is Katherine Howard. Much like in the song when Katherine Howard begins singing halfway through Anna of Cleves' verse, Alex Albon began his time with Red Bull halfway through Pierre's contract.

Prick up your ears, I'm the Katherine who lost her head:

Alex's version of losing his head is not getting a contract for 2021 and becoming a test driver for the team. He spent the year without a race seat and it could have been a forever thing.

Katherine was young and married early, Alex was promoted before his time in his rookie year. Both of them were punished for something that was beyond their ability.

K Howard is here, and the fun's begun:

This is Alex with Williams, but still going to Red Bull events like Wings for Life and hanging out with drivers in the Red Bull "family." He's having fun, showing off his ability as a driver, and just making them think about offering him a contract when his contract with Williams ends.

Five down, I'm the final wife

I saw him to the end of his life

I'm the survivor, Catherine Parr

I bet you wanna know how I got this far

I said, I bet you wanna know how I got this far

Now, Catherine Parr, most would think is Sergio Perez. It would make sense, he's still with the team and he was a factor in winning the 2021 drivers' championship and has scored points for the 2022 and 2023 constructors' championship wins.

But Catherine Parr fits with Daniel Ricciardo. He is, in the sense of Red Bull, the survivor.

I saw him to the end of his life:

Daniel coming into Red Bull in 2014 saw Red Bull at the end of the team's first block of domination and the end of Sebastian's career with Red Bull.

This was the Red Bull downfall era as Mercedes was emerging as the top team. Daniel was the only Red Bull driver to get wins for the team. Daniel was there at the end.

I'm the survivor:

Daniel, unlike Pierre, Alex, and now Checo, was able to leave Red Bull with his head held high and a highly regarded driver. When he left, there weren't rumors of him losing his seat. It was on his own terms. He is, to this day, the only one of Max's teammates at Red Bull to beat him and challenge him over the course of a season.

Additionally, even after a downfall after the McLaren stint, Daniel's come back to Red Bull and is considered to be in contention for the second Red Bull seat. He is the survivor of the six Red Bull drivers. When his career seemed like it was going to end, he came back. In Mexico, he was in the top 10 in all sessions during the weekend and gave AlphaTauri their highest Grand Prix finishing of the season. In Brazil, despite rear wing damage that led him to be a lap down and spending most of the race behind Yuki, he was the third-fastest driver.

More on Red Bull Drivers:

Red Bull Industrial Complex: A timeline of all lineup changes in RB and TR/AT

[absurdthirst]

Ok I got a weird one for ya…..

Which of the P boys would be a sperm donor?

What if their female friend wanted a child or she’s flipping through a sperm donor book and stumbles across a Prince from Dorne or a handsome DEA agent but can she resist the cute pilot?

Who Would Be A Sperm Donor:

**Female Reader

Javier Peña: Hell no. Not at all. Never. He was lucky that he had managed to never knock anyone up, he would never donate sperm for a child he would not be involved with.

Ezra: Shocked you would want his sperm. Questions if you understand that he will not be around to help you with this child. He's willing to give you his seed, but then disappears on the first freighter out of the system. What do you do with the doctors and his sperm is up to you. He's already spent the credits you gave him.

The Mandalorian: Is against it at first. Reminds you that he is a bounty hunter with a youngling he has adopted, he won't be able to help you out with a child. Eventually comes around to it. Gets you pregnant the old fashioned way and never leaves again. Well, he does - but he always comes back.

Pero Tovar: Food, a bed and a hot cunt? Pero is surprised that you are so wanting a child you are willing to have his bastard. Can be talked into it with a few cups of beer and flashing your tits at him. Surprised Pikachu face when he comes back next winter and there is a child there. Ends up staying in the village and raising the boy with you.

Agent Whiskey: NO. Absolutely not. After his wife and baby boy died, Jack got the snip. There are no babies in his future.

Frankie Morales: You have to talk Frankie into this. Yes, he would have to admit that he has also give a sperm sample when he was young and dumb. Later on, he tried to withdraw the right to use it - but it had already been used. Now he has to wonder if there is a little Morales out there that he doesn't know of and he doesn't know if he can do it again. Eventually he comes around and feels a little awkward when it comes to giving the sample and listening to what they will do to you to give you that baby you want. Quietly inquires if he could give the baby any of his benefits.

Dave York: Dave donated when he was younger. Probably still at the sperm bank, but he was young and about to deploy for the first time. He had wondered what would happen if he died, so he had gone down and donated his sperm. If you want that, he can show you which clinic, or he can give you a fresh sample but Carol can never find out.

Oberyn Martell: Done. Is there really any question? You want a child and he would love to bed you. But you will raise his child in the shades of the Water Gardens and they will become another one of his beloved Sand Snakes.

Marcus Pike: VERY conflicted. He would love to help you out, but he's also had a lot of dreams of having his own children. Children that he has a very hands on approach to raising. Honestly, he's turning you down. Not because he isn't sympathetic, but there is no way he can have a child out there that he's not in their life.

Max Phillips: Sure! Let's do this! It has to be the old fashioned way though. And does it matter that his sperm is technically dead?

Marcus Moreno: He's had sooooooo many requests for this. Do you know how many people want to have a Heroic's baby? Thinking that it would increase their chances of the child having Heroic abilities, the requests can sometimes be overwhelming. He will have to turn you down. His answer is always no.

Max Lord: Sure. If you invest in Black Gold, Inc.

Zach Wellison: Reluctantly admits that he's donated before. He got paid for each donation, so.....yeah. There was a time where he was donating blood, plasma and sperm to trying to survive. A little ashamed of it, but he did what he had to do. If you want a kid, he'll do it again, you've been a great friend to him.

Javi Gutierrez: Surprised. Honored. A little scared of the idea. You have to very thoroughly explain everything to him and he will go with you to a doctor's appointment to get even more information. A little sad that he wouldn't have any rights to the child unless you agree. Eventually decides that he will do it. Anything for the woman he secretly loves.

Dieter Bravo: Are you trying to shake him down for money? To get child support from an Oscar winner? He is squinting at you suspiciously before he asks if you want to do a line of Coke with him.

Tim Rockford: He studies the idea like he would a case. Digging into the information and talking to people who have used sperm donors and the donors themselves. Eventually decides that he will do it for you. But then he misses every damn appointment for the donation because he was working on a case.

Joel Miller: Pre-Outbreak Joel would think that you are joking. Laughing at your suggestion until he realizes that you aren't laughing with him. Asking why him. Why would you want him to give you a baby? Talks about it with Sarah and only turns you down because she would have different expectations of having a sibling than what you would want. Post-Outbreak Joel would think that you have lost your fucking mind. Good luck ever getting in his pants now that he knows you want a kid in this godforsaken timeline.

Marcus Acacius: You want his seed? He is unsure of this, because he knows that he will fall in battle at any time, but he knows that you will be able to take care of a child. Plus, he will be able to spend a good amount of time in your bed, taking those memories with him when he leaves on his next campaign of the glory of Rome.

[romanoffsbish]

In Your Corner

Natasha Romanoff x F!R

Request | WC: 3,885

It had been supposed to be another great year that had come to a close for you. Every year, without fail Tony would throw you a party, but this year he was preoccupied with his family. He hadn't even had the time to send you a text.

That hurt, but you new infants were a lot of work so you gave him and Pepper that pass, but as you entered the communal kitchen you found yourself disappointed again. You'd been used to waking up to the smell of a homemade breakfast made by your best friend, but this year Wanda was off to Cannes with Vis for an impromptu trip, she too had forgotten to text.

The remainder of the team had seemingly also forgotten, each one just hanging around the compound and your lover was off on a mission so you couldn't fault her for the lack of text.

——

So, there you sat, on your shared floor with a pint of whatever frostbitten ice cream was left in your freezer as you watched Friends reruns and cried into your couch cushions as Rachel and Ross fought over the terms of a "break".

The show continued on, laugh tracks sounding off, even when it wasn't really that funny but your focus had since shifted to your dry phone. When you realized no one would remember now as it'd already reached noon you settled into the loneliness and slipped off into a nap.

—

Natasha was stressed to the max on a quinjet, pacing back and forth as Clint flew them home. She'd been gone for two weeks now, and she told Fury that there was no way she'd miss your birthday. It was too important to her that the two of you at least have time to celebrate.

Your life was the most important thing to her, so of course the day of your birth was as well.

So he sent in some agents to replace them as the bulk of the work had been completed and all that was really left was the clean up. There was no reason to extend what had already been extended from a weekend away to two weeks.

When they landed she rushed off the jet and went straight to the common area. She was softly panting from the exertion, but her breathing slowed to nothing as she surveyed the room. Steve and Bucky sat on opposite ends of the couches reading, while Sam and Peter were on the ground, the former one cursing as they played a round of Mario Kart.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Clint's eyes widened as he walked in as Natasha growled. The men in the room looked to her confused, the youngest of them all was the first to speak. "We're having a chill day Mrs. Romanoff."

"Wrong answer," Clint tossed out before rushing out of the room to debrief with Hill as he promised Natasha he'd do for her sake.

"Now why would you be doing that Parker?"

"Natasha, we don't have the energy for your riddles, so speak your peace," Bruce boldly piped up from the corner he'd been sat in.

"Banner, I suggest you leave now," she gritted, her fists bunched up, and the scientist lost all of his bite when he remembered the Hulk wasn't going to be on his side. He soon left with his head down and metaphorical tail tucked.

Which was the best gift your wife could honestly offer: his disappearance. He'd been nothing but bitter since you two got together.

"What's wrong Nat?" Bucky asked, much softer and genuine. Of all people here he'd be granted a pass as he'd not been here in the years prior.

"I'm just wondering where the decorations are, and why my wife isn't here surrounded by the people who she celebrates joyously every year."

Expressions of guilt, and trepidation overtook the entirety of the limited team members faces.

"Friday, where's Y/N?" Natasha asked, only adding salt to the wounded men as she replied: "Asleep upstairs on your couch, it appears she had cried herself to sleep about a half hour ago. Shall I wake her for you Agent Romanoff?"

"No, please do let me know if she wakes up." Friday agreed, and she shifted her attention back to the men who'd all stood to their feet.

Natasha's heart had sank at the notion of you feeling the way you did, as if you were easily overlooked, and not valued, so she knew she needed to fix the mess everyone had made.

"Peter, swing to the bakery at once and return with a tray of those cupcakes." The young boy looked defeated, your wife didn’t hold this against him, on account that he was a kid, but she didn’t waver with her glare and that got him to scramble to activate his suit and leave.

“Wilson, Rogers, and Barnes, go decorate the garden, leave behind your generous gifts, then stay out of sight for the rest of the day."

The redhead then shot off texts to everyone else to scold them just in case they too forgot. Then she took off to the gym lockers so she could freshen up without having to enter your shared floor and risk waking you up just yet.

After she changed from her suit into a pair of shorts and a muscle tee she set off to collect you for a day of last minute, but proper plans. The guys had just finished their part, and left to Wilson's apartment so she could fix the day.

As she entered your shared space she was greeted by an obnoxious laugh track, your melted ice cream and your sleeping form.

Natasha took a minute to survey the scene, and after a moment of admiring you her heart effectively broke as she eventually saw the dampened fabric of your couch. If not for her desire to celebrate your birth she'd be stealthily bringing an end to all that made you this sad.

With a quiet, determined step she moved about your shared floor, cleaning up the mess you'd been accumulating ever since she left. Then she settled a kiss to your cheek as she shut off the TV before venturing off down the hallway to run you a warm tub full of water. After she set the place up with a sprinkling of gifts, and a whole lot of love she’d set off to collect you.

To her luck you'd just groggily sat up, she found it funny that the silence is what woke you up as you'd just been snoring through Friends only a half an hour prior. "Natty?"

"Good morning sleepy head," she teased as she moved out of the hallway and into your sight. There was a dullness to your gaze as you tiredly surveyed her, not subtle at all as you looked her over for wounds, then again to check her out.

Natasha smirked, and began to approach you, she settled down beside you and cupped your cheek. There was a glimmer of hope in your gaze, and she spoke fast, making sure not to crush it. "Happy Birthday moya lyubov'."

"You remembered?" You sobbed, a bit dramatic you'd realize later, because of course she did, but in the moment you felt relieved. "Oh detka, how could I ever forget such an important day, hm? It's my most treasured."

Her lips pressed to your cheeks, catching the tears that slipped through your lashes, then they traversed the expanse of your face until they finally landed on your own as she pulled your body into her lap in one swift motion.

"Why's my pretty girl up here alone on her most special of days, hm?" Natasha knew, but she wanted to try and get your perspective and see the best possible way to change it. "Because everybody forgot Natty," you hiccuped as you burrowed into her neck. "Except for Friday."

Natasha hummed, her body slowly rocked yours in an attempt to hopefully soothe you as her own blood boiled with pure contempt.

"My sources say there was a cosmic fluke on Wanda's behalf, because she adores you so."

Natasha prayed for her sake this was true, because though she'd lose in a fight with the unfair advantage of powers, she wouldn't refrain from smacking her around anyways.

"The rest were simply forgetful idiots, but they felt terrible and have started the apology train," she decided to be honest, forgoing her initial plan to lie to protect your feelings. The men didn't deserve such shielding, they instead deserved to stew in their guilt for eternity.

"I-I don't mean to be dramatic Natty," you sniffled, "But I never forget anyone, why would they forget me? I just want the same in return."

"I understand detka, it's fair to expect," she agreed with a soft tone, "I just want you to know I would never forget, I only didn't text because I was racing home to surprise you."

"I know you would never forget honey, some years it's you who has to remind me," you giggled, and it instantly brought a smile to your lovers face to see you already perking up.

"Well, in the spirit of such a monumental occasion I have ran a tub for you, and set out a new outfit for you to slip into for our plans."

Your head whipped back from its place on her shoulder, face instantly lighting up, "Plans?"

Natasha shook her head with a fond smile, her fingers then raised up to her lips to imitate a zipper and so you whined: "Natty please?"

"Detka, I want it to be exciting, so go get ready and meet me in the garden when you're done."

The two of you stood to your feet, reluctantly moving apart, but before you fully separated your wife pulled you in for a passionate kiss.

"Take your time, and relax your mind Y/N." She pecked your lips a final time, then left.

As you entered your room your heart swelled at the sight of the outfit she'd bought, you'd been eyeing the fit for awhile, and of course she had been watching you just the same. Nothing was ever going to get by your super spy of a wife.

Once you finished your soak, with a new set of body products, you slid out and into the new royal green cropped sweater vest, and skirt. Then after handling your skincare routine you skipped all the way to the garden where you found your wife stood there patiently waiting.

Natasha subtly gulped at the sight of you, and for a moment the both of you remained silent as you looked the other over. She had changed from her casual locker attire into a loose fit black button up polo, with a pair of grey slacks. It was a simple choice, but still deeply alluring as her arms managed to bulge out the stretchy fabric, and her pants were form fitting enough that you could admire her toned behind.

Once you reeled in your devious gaze you were reduced to a woman on the verge of another breakdown. There stood your wife with a bouquet of black roses, and honeysuckles. It had become her goal to pick you meaningful flowers, and the contrast in bright colors meant to symbolize eternal love, intermixed between the more dark, morbid version of the classic rose was for an that leads to a beginning.

In the moment your curiosity was peaked, but you settled on letting the day play out before you sought out clarity. Your wife was cunning, and never moved without a plan, and you were never one to doubt her so you'd easily wait.

Natasha's free hand hung in the air, beckoning you to approach her, and as you accepted she swiftly pulled you into her body. She lowered the bouquet, allowing you the chance to smell the unique combination before she set them in a vase on the center of the decorated table.

“You look gorgeous love.” Natasha blushed, and softly huffed, “That was my line detka.”

As you giggled mischievously into her chest she gave the nervous spider-teen who was lingering on the side of the compound a thumbs up from behind your back. Peter lowered the pink box, and white bags onto the table with his webs, then as previously instructed he vanished.

“He’s just a kid Natty,” you called your wife out as you tried to pull away from her, but she kept your bodies connected with a hand on your lower back, as her lips sought your warmth.

Once satisfied she let you go, eyes admiring the way that yours stayed shut an extra beat, you always took a moment to recover, even when it was just a peck on the lips. You swore you’d never get used to the feeling of hers against yours. It was electrifying, and no matter how brief there was never a lack of love to be found.

Once you shakily breathed out through your nose, and your eyes fluttered open you were met with your wife who was patiently waiting. Natasha pursed her lips, then doubled down. “That’s true Y/N, that’s why I still let him see you, but he also has a phone with a calendar.”

You knew not to push it, because in the end she wasn’t wrong. Instead you thanked the boy via text, and put your phone in dnd, no longer caring about the sudden influx of well wishes, as your greatest one to be was sat before you.

Natasha handed you a sandwich, and then after listening to you animatedly tell her stories of the guy’s stupidity, she reflected back and told you all about Clint’s on their mission. Then as if having the power to summon him, the man was beside you with a candle and a lighter.

“Happy Birthday Y/N/N,” he greeted with a grin and a stubbly kiss to your temple. “The kids made you this,” he passed you a paper with the whole Barton family on it, and right to the side of them was you in Nat’s arms with Liho on your shoulder. Then he passed you an envelope, “And Laura purchased you this.”

While Natasha pulled out a gorgeous cupcake decorated to look like a peony you tore it open.

“Oh my gosh, no way!” You shrieked, “We’re going with them to Disneyland Natty!” She met your enthusiasm with a nervous chuckle, then seamlessly blew passed her anxieties as she lit the solo candle and began to sing. Clint joined her in the celebratory tune, but fortunately for you your wife’s melodic voice carried the tune.

Clint slipped off a moment later, with a to go container of various flower inspired cupcakes, then Natasha guided you to her sports car. It never ceased to make your heart flutter when she naturally moved to buckle you in. There was never a time in your whole entire time knowing her that she didn’t do this. It was actually how you realized she liked you in the way you did her. Because once you actually saw how she unbuckled Tony’s for him in contrast.

“Where are we going?” Natasha shook her head and chuckled softly, “Stop asking baby girl, you know I’m a steel fortress with this stuff.”

You grumbled all the way, until you saw the arcade, with Yelena and Kate grinning outside. Natasha couldn’t contain her laughter as you raced from the car and into her sisters arms. The blonde spun you around, then after you were back on the ground Kate pulled you in.

“Come on Y/N,” Yelena shrieked, “We must play as many games as possible. The final winner gets the crown in Kate Bishop’s hand.

You raced off with a shout of: “Game on!”

“Thanks for coming so last minute, I know you just got home from an undercover mission,” Natasha genuinely said, and the archer turned to her with a tired smile. “It was the least we could do, plus, look at how happy they are.”

Natasha did look, her eyes hardly ever left you to begin with, but in moments like these, where you were in the middle of unbridled joy, she especially wanted to be a spectator. Seeing you and Yelena playing like little kids always made her heart soar, and her mind run with dreams.

Of a future similar to this moment, but with house parties and summer barbecues. It was all she wanted, and she reckoned it was time you two got started on the rest of your journey. So, after about an hour of free fun, where you beat Lena in the final game, reigning you champ she called out to you both to say it was time to go.

“You’re welcome for letting you win,” Yelena angrily said, making you giggle as you realized she most certainly did no such thing. Her eyes narrowed, but a grin soon overtook her face as you yanked her into a goodbye hug. “Thank you for coming out to celebrate my birthday.”

“I will never miss a chance to beat you at air hockey Y/N Romanoff.” Her arms tightened, and she softly whispered: “Happy Birthday.”

“Okay, let’s wife swap now.” Natasha’s tone was playful, but a spark of jealousy was easily detected. “Hold your panties Natalia. Y/N is all yours. Also Kate Bishop is my fiancé, not wife.”

“She’ll be your was with that attitude,” you teased as you shifted to say goodbye to the archer. Who, as was her job, coronated you the ‘Arcade Supreme’ just before slipping you a gift bag then taking off with her grumbling fiancé.

“We’ve got a few more stops detka.” Natasha escorted you back to the car, then the rest of the adventure unfolded as she took you to all of your favorite places. Including the cat cafe where she surprised you with an adoption.

You’d been begging for months to get Liho a girlfriend, but then you ended up getting a male orange tabby, with a missing eye. “He looks kinda like Fury, let’s take him to shield!”

“Detka, I want to live a long life with you,” she teased as you held the cat up. “Stop tempting your fate with the doppelgänger of our boss.”

“At least you agree with me,” you huffed, then set the cat back down before letting your wife take you out of the cafe with the promise of returning in the morning for the little fella.

“You think Liho will mind that his girlfriend is a boy?” You shrugged, smirking around the straw of your frappe. “Love is love Natty.”

It was encroaching evening now, so you’d figured that the night was coming to a close, but when your wife passed the exit for the compound you realized her plan was ongoing.

With the windows rolled down, and your hand interlocked with your wife’s as she drove you across city lined you began to realize the burden of your depressing start had dissipated. The tension in your body melted away, and in a show of direct appreciation you brought her knuckles up to your lips and kissed them.

“What was that for?” You were looking out the window at the vast greenery of New York, but you could hear her smirking and had to fight off the urge to roll your eyes. “Do I need a reason to show you, my dear wife, affection?”

Natasha hummed thoughtfully, “I suppose not, but if you were saying thanks, I’d also like the same gesture deposited upon my lips please.”

Just as much as you were left a total mess after each kiss, she was left with an insatiable need for more. If she had it her way you’d never part. Her lips would be against yours all day, and if not there, at least somewhere on you.

Before you could even consider her proposal the redhead had pulled over abruptly, the blur of greenery was now more clear to you, and a feeling of serenity washed over you at the view.

“Where are we love?”

Your wife was nervous, something she rarely ever felt, and never let anyone see. Today is going to change the trajectory of your life for good, and she just hopes you’re happy with it.

“Home.” You furrowed your brows as you whipped your head around to meet her gaze after processing the word she’d just blurted. Seeing her nervous smile upon doing so made you lose the frown of confusion. A much softer crease overtook your face as you matched her smile as best you could. “What do you mean?”

“Here.” Natasha unbuckled herself, then she hopped out and gently pulled you from the car. “I, well actually, Tony and I have been working together on this for awhile now.” You cut her off with a gasp of genuine surprise, “You and Stark have been working together and he gets to live to tell others about it?” Natasha rolled her eyes, but before she could clarify you gasped again, this time with a horrified look.

“Oh my gosh Natty, did you kill him?” Her face fell into one of pure mortification. “What? No!”

You cast her an unbelieving glance, but then you lost your edge, tone obviously teasing, “Maybe that’s why he didn’t text me today…”

Natasha glared at the notion, and vowed to trip the wires in his suit for such a slight. Then she remembered his hologram that was waiting for you with birthday wishes beyond the hedges.

“Detka, please focus,” she chided, then pulled on your hand until you were just beyond the greenery, and stood before a gorgeous home. The walls were painted a blue tinted grey, with black trimmings, and it was two stories tall.

“This is,” she began, but you cut her off with a squeal, “Our home? Are we finally…” Natasha cut you off next, “Yes, we only have one final mission detka. To settle down for good now.”

“I love you so much Natasha!” She gladly took you into her arms for a hug, then before you could protest she scooped you up like she did on your wedding day, and ran the both of you beyond the threshold of the home. Her lips slammed to yours in the heat of the moment, but the kiss was weak as neither of you could refrain from smiling like idiots. “I love you too Y/N, more than I ever dreamed possible.”

When the night came to a close a few hours later, you heard your phone ding just as your eyes had shut. You begrudgingly peeked an eye back open. "Happy Birthday Y/N/N, I had no service, but I promise you a stack of chocolate chip pancake's when I return on Monday. ❤️"

You smiled, grateful for Wanda's gesture, albeit late it was much better than never at all. All you ever wanted was to have a group of people to love you the same way you'd loved them.

With Natasha pressed into you from behind, an arm wrapped tightly around you as she snored softly you knew without a doubt that you were at the very least loved with reciprocity by her.

—

[formulatrash]

What Hot Hatch* Should Every F1 Driver Have? Pt 1

*some of these cars are not technically hot hatches but they are, spiritually, hot hatches to ME and also car genres are meaningless shut up

Unfortunately because I have problems I allowed the group chat to commission me into writing this. I think you will be able to see the point where I really unleashed the thoughts that probably ought to be kept inside. Maybe I will keep Pt 2 to myself.

Max Verstappen - Honda Civic Type R This was tricky because we know the grid's resident cat dad is actually an SUV girly off the track. But he's also a brand loyalist and I'm fairly sure literally has had one of these as his factory car so it checks out that a car notorious for having a better engine than it did chassis would fit the Red Bull post-Newey meltdown. And if you need to go round a bunch of roundabouts there's really almost nothing rivalled to a Civic Type R.

Lewis Hamilton - og Nissan Leaf Yes, Lewis has never had any association to the Renault-Nissan alliance in his life but whatever he's leaving Mercedes. Think he's sort of forgotten about this but he did commit to only driving electric road cars awhile back and I will defend the Nissan Leaf with my LIFE as one of the most fun cars to drive. Nearly said the NISMO Leaf but actually the time I had a go in one of them it was insanely overbearing in a way someone used to having Bono to whine to wouldn't appreciate. The stripped down, basic, original is more than enough to fuck about in a multistory car park and I'm confident Lewis would immediately know what to do with it when next to a BMW at traffic lights.

George Russell - Williams Renault Clio This was actually what started it because I was introducing my beautiful wife to the groupchat and then considering which driver should throw some pocket money at it. Leaving aside the fact that if I was that rich there'd be a lockup in Monte Carlo full of the shittest mid-90s three-doors you've ever seen in your life, this car is perfect for George. It's got a legitimate heritage connection and it's a proper piece, something to look after. There's even matching sweaters for him and Carmen to wear in a sponsored post. And when he gets that look in his eye and starts clenching his jaw too much it's extremely good for doing donuts outside Carrefour.

Sergio Perez - Toyota GR Yaris No, I know he drives for a Honda works team but if they haven't fired him yet they'll probably overlook this. The GR Yaris is a bit of a North American legend because you can legally only get it in Mexico - they're not obtainable in the US. So this is an understated big dick move and maybe what Checo needs is to have a little obnoxious fun, y'know?

Charles Leclerc - Sbarro Super Eight Oh, Charles. Tied up in scarlet. In order to maintain his Maranello-chained brand suffering nothing but Ferrari's finest horsies could do but they're not really in the business of making mean little things to hoon. Unless you consider the driver academy, I guess. Anyway - the Sbarro Super Eight is a Ferrari 308 V8 engine in the body of the kind of vehicle you can get insured on under the age of 25. It has too much (260) horsepower, it's a little silly and deeply selfconscious. And like il predestinato there is only one in the whole world.

Carlos Sainz Jnr - VW Golf This isn't even a statement about what car he should have, this is a car he does have. Mr Sainz and I may disagree about many things but his opinion that the VW Golf is the ultimate road vehicle is absolutely correct. Anyone who's seen the excruciating DTS segment where he tries to take a McLaren to M&S for a disappointing taco mix purchase will understand why Carlos held on to his Golf, a much better vehicle for picking up some bits. In the words of the man himself: "No Golf, no party"

Lando Norris - Lancia Delta Integrale Mk 2 "la Perla" Anyone with my Instagram recommendations will know in quite some alarming detail which Monegasque petrol station Lando uses to fill up his collection of sports cars. Weird fan paparazzi behaviour aside, the man likes buying unique cars and clearly isn't above something quirky given the Fiat Jolly. The Delta Integrale "la Perla" 1) sounds a bit like a sex toy in a way I think he'd find amusing, 2) is rare, with a totally impractical pearlescent white paint job for something ostensibly intended to hoon. It's expensive, semi-unique (allegedly only a few hundred were made) and a little bit silly, with plenty of rally-proven power and drive to muck about with.

Oscar Piastri - Honda City Turbo Oscar seems like the kind of guy who doesn't care too much about appearances. Not in the sense he looks bad - he very clearly does not - but like, lot of rumpled shirts in his wardrobe he's not bothered about ironing, y'know. So it fits that he'd need a hot hatch that does the job more than it's about aesthetic. The things I know about Oscar are that he likes to spend time with his girlfriend and he learned Japanese at school so I'm diagnosing him with JDM import disease and making sure there's a passenger seat. The Honda City Turbo is a teeny weeny little car that only makes its way into being a hot hatch not a kei car because of the totally unnecessary powertrain. And what a fucking powertrain, straight from the Mugen division into the least likely chassis imaginable. Yes, the car is not the most ostentatious looking thing but it's technically interesting and sick as hell so whatever.

Zhou Guanyu - Renault Twingo 133 Silverstone edition Zhou is a man of immense taste and style. He has a great little cat. He is a national icon in his home country and, frankly, any other. He has spent a lot of his life in Sheffield. Aside from this making him basically an idealised form of bloke, I think this means I can entrust him with the Twingo. Not, it's got to be said, overpowered as a car in its base model (my Mk1 Twingo could boast a 0-62 measured in minutes) Renault have never been able to resist souping it up a bit and for some unlikely series of reasons made a sport version to tie into the 2011 British Grand Prix. I don't even want to know why, now, it's better that it stays a mystery. Anyway, this is a Twingo with unnecessary horsepower and live data feeds the Mk1 would probably have a misfire even considering. It's quirky, comes with plenty of backstory and y'know. Whomst amongst us hasn't been screwed around with by Renault a bit in the past?

Valtteri Bottas - the Suzuki Jimny The Jimny is a car of greats. Deceptively small, it works perfectly in a city or if you need to drive up a mountain to get to a gravel course. loads of room at the back for a bike rack. It's practical, a little odd-looking in a charming way and everyone's delighted every time they see one. You can definitely get your ass out in this vehicle. Is it a hot hatch? Probably not but you don't get to define how the Jimny lives its life.

[queenshelby]

An Illicit Affair

Part 13: The Hospital Visit

Pairing: Cillian Murphy (46) x Reader (23)

Warning: Age-Gap, Taboo Relationship, Infidelity

Whilst Danielle didn't say anything to Cillian during the event that evening, your friend Lucy picked up on his appearance right away and pulled you aside for a talk.

"Are you fucking crazy?" she asked, tidying up your hair with her hands while wiping away your lipstick with a napkin. 

"What are you talking about?" you asked Lucy, feigning ignorance.

"Come on, you know what I'm referring to," Lucy whispered, peeking over her shoulder. "The stains on Cillian's shirt? Your lipstick? It's all fucking smudged," Lucy rolled her eyes. "You are going to end up in some deep shit, girl," she warned you in a hushed whisper as a cold chill ran down your spine.

"I am...," you stammered. "Fuck, I am trying but I can't help it," you admitted to your friend, staring down at your feet nervously. "I know it's wrong, but I can't seem to stop myself," you confessed, gripping the hem of your skirt tightly and adjusting the fabric. 

"Look, I know you like him," Lucy sighed, running her fingers through her tangled hair. "But, seriously, you going to put a stop to this. I mean, he is married and way too fucking old for you," she reminded you, shaking her head disapprovingly.

"You guys are worlds apart, Y/N," Lucy added, her voice filled with concern.

"I know, I know," you sighed, your voice sounding defeated. "But, somehow, I just can't help acting irrationally whenever I'm around him," you confessed, shaking your head sadly just as you spotted Cillian leaving the function along with his wife.

"Damn, this is so complicated," you muttered under your breath, swallowing hard as you watched Danielle take his hand in to hers and leading him towards the exit. 

It hurt seeing them together, yet you couldn't bring yourself to admit defeat.

Your feelings for Cillian were too profound to ignore, and the connection you shared transcended logic or reason. But Lucy insisted on warning you, pointing out the risks involved: "You're risking it all," she noted, fidgeting with her hair nervously. "If word spreads, you'll face serious consequences—career-wise, personally."

"I know, Lucy," you sighed, chewing on your bottom lip. "I'm not blind to the dangers."

Lucy shook her head, her eyes brimming with concern. "You gotta draw a line, Y/N. Protect yourself."

"But..." you stammered, but Lucy didn't allow you to finish your sentence. 

"No 'buts,'" Lucy interrupted. "Cillian's a married man and the father to your ex-boyfriend, nonetheless. Don't forget that," Lucy advised, shaking her head.

"I promise I will end this, Lu. No more from here on," you lied, feeling guilty for lying to your best friend.

You took a big gulp of your drink, thinking about Cillian. You remembered the way he'd looked at you earlier—with such raw hunger and desire. It made your heart race, and your palms grew sweaty.

"Hey, Y/N," a familiar voice then suddenly said from behind you and, when you turned around, you saw James standing there, flashing his charming smile.

"How long have you been standing there?" you asked him, raising an eyebrow curiously.

"Long enough to catch the tail end of your conversation with Lucy," James responded, winking suggestively. "And I must say, I'm intrigued now," he added, moving closer to you.

"By what?" you challenged him, crossing your arms defensively while swallowing nervously. 

"You've got the hots for Max Murphy's father?" James ought to confirm, grinning mischievously. "Seems like quite an unconventional crush for you, seeing that you used to date his son, but hey, each to their own," he added, cocking an eyebrow at you slyly.

"I don't have a crush on him, we were just..." you stammered, trying to explain yourself. "We were just joking," you tried to tell him but James raised an eyebrow at you suspiciously. 

"Yeah right," he chuckled. "Listen Y/N, I really don't care who you have a crush on because I know it isn't me," he said, shrugging his shoulders dismissively. 

"James, I am sorry," you began to mumble nervously but, again, James interrupted you.

"Don't worry about it. Your little secret is safe with me," James assured you, winking cheekily before calling it a night. "I just came over to say goodnight. I have to be at the hospital at six o'clock tomorrow morning and better hit the hay soon," James said, yawning theatrically before giving you a friendly pat on the back. 

"I will see you tomorrow then," you told him shyly, forcing a smile to appear on your face.

"Yeah, sounds great," James nodded, turning around to leave without another word.

You stood motionless, staring at the spot where he once stood, feeling nervous while Lucy's chin hang low. 

"You are so screwed if he talks," Lucy said worriedly, rubbing her temples.

"He won't," you assured her, but deep down, you knew that James had the potential to spill the beans about your illicit encounters with Cillian. "Despite, he thinks that I just have a crush on him," you added, hoping Lucy would find comfort in your words.

"Really?" Lucy arched an eyebrow skeptically. "So you don't believe he suspects something?"

"No," you shrugged, swallowing hard. "But even if he does suspect something, I doubt he'd rat me out," you argued, trying to convince yourself more than Lucy.

"Why do you say that?" Lucy wondered aloud, studying your expression closely.

"Because James isn't that kind of guy. He is arrogant, but not vindictive," you insisted, trying to calm Lucy down. "I think we can trust him," you added, glancing around nervously and praying that nobody else had caught wind of your little secret.

"Well, let's hope you're right," Lucy sighed, folding her arms across her chest. "Because if he does blow this thing wide open, your live will never be the same," Lucy continued, shaking her head worriedly.

"Stop worrying," you scolded her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Everything's gonna be alright," you assured her, smiling reassuringly.

"I just don't understand why you're messing around with a married man," Lucy sighed, shaking her head in disbelief. "You're better than that," she added, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration.

"I know," you murmured, averting your gaze. "But I really fucking like him," you concluded helplessly before you tried to change the subject, which was something that Lucy allowed you to do, at least for now.

The following morning however, when you went to start your shift at the university hospital at around 9 o'clock, you were met with a somewhat unwelcoming surprise as one of the nurses in charge handed you your files.

"James ordered an ECG and MRI in 19," the nurse explained. "You are also required in 28 for preliminary tests," the nurse explained before also handing you a clipboard containing your assigned patients for the morning. 

"Thanks," you nodded, reading through the list of names. Most cases didn't require further discussion; routine checkups, physical therapy, and medication adjustments. You knew the drill. But then you came across a name that caused your heart to skip a beat.

"Cillian Murphy," you whispered under your breath, your eyes widening in disbelief.

"Yeah, the actor, you know," the nurse said, her eyes twinkling, causing your chin to drop. 

"Yeah, I know who he is, but what is he in for?" you ask the nurse, shifting from foot to foot nervously. 

"He's got a large cut on his arm," the nurse explained, eyeing you warily.

"It says here that he presented to the ER last night. Has it not been stitched yet?" you asked her, confusion  written all over your face.

"Oh, the laceration has been closed up, but he stayed in overnight for observation due to risk of infection. The laceration was close to the tend on, pretty deep actually," the nurse answered, raising an eyebrow as she eyed you suspiciously. "I handed the file to James this morning but he said that Mr Murphy might rather see you than him," the nurse added, handing you Cillian's chart and then disappearing around the corner.

"Fuck," you whispered under your breath, flipping through the pages and scanning the details hastily.

You weren't exactly thrilled about having to interact with Cillian a at your place of employment after last night's encounter with James. Yet, James was your boss and he had instructed you to attend to him, making it a matter of professional duty. You thus had no choice and, even if you had, you were keen to know how he sustained the injury in the first place. 

To be continued...

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[sweetbillwriting]

In The Dead of Night

THREE

Characters: AU Eric played by Bill Skarsgård from The Crow (2024)

Setting: This story is set in A WHOLE OTHER WORLD than the movie. Shelley isn't a part of this story. Eric will be different from the movie, especially because I haven't seen the movie.

Warnings: 18+. NSFW. Heavy themes. This chapter mention suicide.

Notes: The Snapchat name is made up so if there is a user with this name it's just a coincidence!

“How is he?”

“Ehm… They've put him in a coma for now…”

“What happened?”

“It was some accident in the garage. He got hit in the head.”

Robin sighed deeply but sounded more disappointed at his uncle than worried.

“Mom has called three times a day and talked nonsense. She forgets who's hurt, or she wonders why I leave my wife like this…” He laughed unamused, and I swallowed hard. I couldn't imagine what he went through.

“I can visit her if you want? Maybe she just needs some other company.”

Robin was quiet on the phone for a bit too long, and I started to wonder if he had hung up on me.

“Hello?”

“Yeah! Yeah, that's probably a good idea. But don't let her talk so much; she just gets upset and-

“You mean about your brother?”

The thought was never to force him to talk about Eric like that, especially not when he was worried and upset, but Eric was the only thing I could think about.

Robin was silent again, but then sighed deeply.

“Yeah, about Eric... You don't understand; she can be so upset that no one can calm her down. Sometimes they've even needed to use calming medications. It's not worth it. She's sick, she doesn't need that stress.

“But... it's her son.”

“I will not discuss this, Della. You don't understand," he said forcefully before hanging up in my ear. I made an offended scoff and looked at my phone. I understood he was upset, but I just wanted to help. Right?

I wonder if this meant I shouldn't go to Lotti. Maybe he didn't want me there at all if I showed signs of wanting to talk about his brother, but I had already decided that I would go to Lotti. She needed to talk about Eric, just as much as I did.

×××

I had another reason to go to Lotti. When I was there trying on her old clothes, I had left it all behind, so now I could just say I wanted to continue where we were forced to say goodbye.

She sat outside that day. It wasn't as hot that day, and small breezes played with her chestnut hair. She sat by the table we had been sitting by with Robin, and she looked a little tired and confused in her relaxed, light blue button up shirt.

“We heard from her son that there’s been an accident in the family?” Asked Fiona carefully before we walked up to Lotti.

“Yeah, her husband's brother. He's in a coma right now," I said with a serious look. It was sad, but I mostly felt bad for Robin.

“Oh, that's awful. I know he has talked a bit with her about it but didn't succeed, so we decided with him that we would just say he's on a trip.”

I nodded and then gave Fiona a sincere thank you. It was always amazing to meet people who really cared for others, and she seemed to be amazing with Lotti.

Walking up to Lotti, I waved my hand with a smile while I crossed the lawn to get to her. Lotti gave me a small smile and pulled out a chair for me.

“Where is Robin?” She asked at once, and I licked my lips in preparation for the lie.

“He's on a trip. With another friend of ours.” I smiled and sat down on the chair she had pulled out.

“And Max?”

“You mean Odin? He's at home; he can be home by himself for a few hours.”

Lotti nodded and looked around at the other residents with distaste. I had just met her twice, but that sort of judgmental face didn't feel like Lotti.

“Someone has stolen my shoes.”

I gave her a confused look and then looked around at the people.

“I think it's that bitch, Debbie. You should see her son, fat like a walrus, who came to visit her once and ate up all of Nikolaj’s birthday cake even if he wasn't invited,” she muttered to herself. It was obvious this day was a bad day, and I started to feel like I shouldn't have come.

“Ehm… Lotti, I just had some questions.”

My stomach twisted in shame, and I could feel my cheeks heat up. I should’ve just left her alone to rest, but I had too many questions. Eric had stolen both my heart and brain, and I needed answers, especially because of how realistic my dreams were. I started to question my own sanity, especially when I searched for the username on Spotify Eric, in my dreams, gave me and it existed and had lists full of punk, metal, and rap. It really looked like it could be his account.

“What was Eric’s girlfriend’s name?”

Lotti gave me a confused look but then seemed to search for the name in her head.

“Simone… Ehm, Davis, I think? Why do you wonder?”

I smiled, forced and shook my head.

“I just- maybe- I- Maybe I know her?”

Lotti didn't say anything, just gave me a strange look. It felt like the normal Lotti would have just been happy talking about her son, but now she looked at everyone with suspicion.

“Was his biological mother’s name Linda? Is she alive?”

I understood at once that this was the wrong question to ask because Lotti looked at me in rage and flew up from her chair.

“Linda was a fucking meth whore!! The only good thing she did was Eric, and he…”

I looked at her in shock and could hear nurses run to us behind me.

“Eric was the only good thing she did, but she had given him her awful, dirty habits! My son!! She destroyed my son!”

The tears had started to stream down her cheeks now, but she also huffed heavily, like it took all her power to scream.

“Lotti, Lotti…” Said Fiona and walked up carefully to Eric's mother, who gave her an upset but calmer look.

“I think it's time to rest now.”

Lotti looked at her first with protest but then breathed out tiredly.

“Yes, yes…”

Fiona gave me a quick look before the two of them walked in, and I tried to calm down my heart rate that had been raised by Lotti's behavior. I took some deep breaths. I felt awful over what happened and that I was responsible for it, but I also felt another bigger feeling that made my heart rate go up again.

Neither Lotti nor Robin had given me Eric's biological mother's name. It was just Eric. The same thing with the Spotify account.

How could a person in a dream give me new facts I hadn't even been close to having before?

×××

3.32 PM. 3.33 PM. 3.35 PM. 3.37 PM. 3.39 PM.

The clock ticked on and I looked at my phone like I had a reason to but I didn't. I laid on my bed staring up at the ceiling while Odin stood on the rug looking at me confused.

Eric. Eric. Eric. Eric. Eric.

He was the only thing I thought about. Everything from the memories from my dreams (his laugh, his sad eyes, the shyness behind the tough look, his kisses), the little others had told me but also the big question: What was real?

I had always had vivid dreams, dreams with a real plot and people with clear facial features but this was something else. I couldn't feel the difference between my dreams and what was happening for real the day before. The experiences were just as clear and in some way the dreams even felt more real because Eric awakened such big feelings in my body.

Could a dream be real? Fuck, I had really started to lose it because not only couldn't a dream be real but Eric was also dead. He even said it himself.

Fuck, no, he didn't, it was a dream. I had really started to lose it when I thought about “Dream Eric” as a real person, who could tell me he was dead.

I turned to my side and looked at Odin who whined and made some nervous steps. He needed to go out and as a dog mama I had no other choice than to go out with him. Maybe it would be good for me.

It felt like a hot day in late July when I went out the door, and Odin pulled on the leash as usual. He barked at two dogs, loudly and rudely, and it was a struggle getting him to shut up. I saw how the other dog owners judged me, and when the second one finally had their back against me I started to cry. It was all too much. I probably needed help for real because the only thing I had thought about the whole walk was that I needed to ask Eric how he had made Odin so calm.

Eric was dead. It was a dream. I need to understand that. The guy in my dream was an imagination created in a bored, lonely, love-starved person's head, from a picture of a beautiful, mysterious man. Maybe I needed medications for hallucinations. I started to cry even more and it made Odin whine and pull in the leash worriedly. I didn't care if they were hallucinations. The only thing I was really worried about was that I would never see Eric again.

×××

‘Simone Davis’ was a quite common name, and when I searched for her on Facebook and Instagram, I got so many hits that it wasn't even worth checking ten accounts.

I needed someone else to tell me more about Eric. It was obvious Lotti was too fragile, but she also had a mother's perspective. Robin didn't want to talk, and others had just heard rumors because Eric had never lived in this town. Simone Davis was the only thing I had to go by. I hadn't tried much before I found a Simone Davis that actually seemed as believable as it could be. I had just looked through Robin’s 800 friends on Instagram because it felt like I should, never really believing I would find her, but there the raven-haired beauty was. She had a picture where she stood with her long black nail against her burgundy lips, and you could see her tattooed arms just like Eric had. Her tattoos were better made, though, and had more artistic motifs. She looked like the girl; you were equally envious of her looks as you were afraid of her. Of course, Eric's girlfriend was a mistress of the night, not a thrift store loon like me.

I looked through her pictures; they were mostly selfies or pictures of records or abandoned houses. It was obvious she was a photographer, but her favorite subject seemed to be herself until four years ago, when a face I knew took over. I was forced to hold in my tears because I felt so stupid, lying in bed, hugging my big dog while crying over a guy I'd never met. But there he was, but in the last photos he wasn't. It was his face, but also someone else's. He was rail thin, and his face was sunken in. He had some sort of wound on his lip that was bloody but blue on the edges. I couldn't tell if he had dark circles around his eyes or if they were fading black eyes.

It was the junkie Eric. It wasn't hard to tell. He had his hood up in most of the pictures, and they missed the love and happiness the pictures she had taken before of him had. The earlier ones were bright, dreamy, and sexy. These were taken in the dark, unfocused, and many were really unflattering. It looked like he was high in some of the pictures with either an unsteady gaze or his eyes on their way up in his head. They were terrible pictures, and I cried with so many different feelings. It felt like I looked at the man I loved, all broken. I cried because I had never seen anything like it before, but I also cried over how loveless the pictures were. It looked like his girlfriend stopped loving him long before they broke up, and instead of taking flattering portraits of him, he was just a lifeless subject, an object she documented.

The last picture of him was a black-and-white one, with a crow sitting on his hand. He smiled proudly against the camera, full of happiness and life. He looked like the Eric I knew. Around him was a white heart, like a frame.

Don't do drugs, kids.

It was the only text under the picture, and I could see the picture was uploaded three years ago. It was her goodbye to him.

×××

Big green eyes looked at me. There were gold specs in them, like gold dust in a green forest river. It must have looked like that when they started to find gold in California.

I knew those eyes, framed with dark lashes and a hiding place for secrets. I knew those eyes.

I took in Eric's whole face, the pixie nose, how his lips had disappeared because of a broad smile, the dimple and the many tattoos. I threw myself around his neck in happiness and relief at seeing him again. I didn't even think about the fact that we were lying in my bed.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Said Eric with a laugh, but he let me hug him for a few seconds before moving away. I looked at him with confusion until I registered his bare shoulders and chest under the cover.

“I'm naked,” he said in such strong embarrassment that he covered his face with his hands.

I giggled in excitement and surprise.

“What? But I'm not?”

I wore a thin white tank top and a pair of silky pajama shorts. It was a regular sleeping outfit for me, it was even the same I had gone to bed with before waking up in my dreamland.

Eric dragged his hands over his face and made a sound of embarrassment, and I laughed at him.

“Fuck, you must have decided this. If this the kind of dream you invite me to, I expect some action.”

He looked at me teasingly, even if his cheeks were pink.

“I decided? I think you decided you wanted to show off!”

I said it with a laugh, but snuck closer to him and played with the edge of his cover. He gave my hand a look and smirked a little while scratching his brow over and over.

“I don't have any power over this, I just show up here!”

“So do I!”

“But it's me who came here naked!” He said it with a pointed smile. I laughed and pulled on the cover a bit.

“Maybe you should just roll with it then?” I pulled on the cover a bit more with a beating heart. “Show me…”

Eric stopped scratching his eyebrow and looked at me amused, but then pulled the cover from his body. His long body. I don't think I've seen anyone take up so much space in my bed. He was full of doodled tattoos, like someone used him as a bulletin board. Under the tattoos, he was so ripped that I felt my mouth get dry, but I had the opposite reaction between my legs. He didn't have a six-pack, but an eight-pack, and they traveled down to those sharp lines framing his shortly trimmed pubic hair and then down to his cock. He was half hard and bigger than anyone I've been with. It was pink, and visible veins crawled up to his adonis belt. Fuck. Fuck.

“Oh fuck…” I said with a moan, biting my lip. I didn't dare look at his face, and I didn't dare touch him. Instead, I just looked between his abs and his cock and pushed my legs together.

Eric took my chin and steered my face towards his. He smiled a little playfully, and I giggled with a blush.

“I've never been with a guy like you…” I whispered and dared to lay my hand on his naked chest.

“A guy like me?”

“Ehm…” I felt my blush intensify, and I didn't know where to start.

“The tattoos… Your body…” I giggled, embarrassed again, and looked away. Eric made an amusing sound and sat up completely against the headboard with spread legs. His cock was next to me now, and it felt like it was a third person in the room.

“Your size…” I said with a lower voice and looked from his cock to his face. Eric smiled proudly but was also a bit embarrassed and pulled his cock a couple of times.

“Isn't it your turn now? Give me a little show?” He said it teasingly and made me laugh, embarrassed. He looked at me for a while and smiled kindly.

“You don't have to,” he said, seeing my embarrassment turn to insecurity. I looked at him with love and sat down close to him so I could kiss his plump lips. It quickly turned into deep, passionate kisses, probably because the both of us were so horny. I dared to take my clothes off while we kissed because it felt so much more natural, and Eric pulled me easily up in his lap so I could straddle his thick thighs. He leaned back a little to be able to look at me, where I sat naked on top of him. I could feel his erection against the inside of my thighs, hard and hot, and I dragged my wet folds over his while leaning back on my palms. Eric made a heavy exhalation and looked at my hips roll over his member.

I bit my lip. I felt sexy under his gaze and let one of my hands drag down my chest to my sex so I could touch myself while his big eyes watched me.

“You're such a dirty girl…” he said with a deep, raspy voice, but let me continue. “Show me, show me your cunt, show me that little wet hole…”

I giggled, leaned back more, and spread my folds with two fingers. He made an aroused little whine that transformed into a roar before he attacked me, so I fell on my back. I made a little scream through my laugh while he kissed my face and neck. I dared to drag my hand over his pulsing erection, and when he made a bit of a pained sound, I looked up at his pretty face. He looked into my eyes, then down at my legs and between them, and pushed my thighs towards my belly. He looked up again, obviously seeking some sort of consent, and I nodded. I would have consented to anything.

He kissed down my chest and belly, and with surprising smoothness, he crawled down between my legs. I looked up at the ceiling, up at my turquoise rice paper lamp. I had him between my legs. Eric was between my legs, and I could hear him breathe heavily before he carefully started to give my folds open-mouth kisses. I closed my eyes, but a bark startled me at once. No, no, no! Would I wake up now?

“Odin! Go away!” Eric said it authoritatively, and I could hear Odin leave the room. I breathed out in relief and took a pleasant new breath when Eric started to kiss and suck my folds again. It was obvious he wouldn't stress this. He took it one thing at a time; he didn't touch my clit until his lips and tongue had tasted all the secret hidings in my pussy so when he started to massage it with the tip of his tongue, I felt close to an orgasm at once. He pushed his tongue hard against the bottom and shook his head side to side, but I didn't need more than a minute before I came over his face.

I couldn't stop moaning, dazed, and euphoric. I laughed, but it became a throaty moan again when Eric pushed into me determingly.

“Okay?” He just said when he had just pushed in, and I nodded but was completely overwhelmed by the intense orgasm at first, then how girthy he was. He held my arms over my head by my wrist while he pushed into me and searched for my eyes. When he was sure we could share the moment together, he started to move his hips skillfully, and I needed to use all my powers to hold my eyes open. It was intense. So intense.

×××

I was worried after that dream that I would never see Eric again, but the dream started to come every night. Exciting, amazing dreams. We visited his old school, his favorite park he used to draw in, and some cities I had visited when I traveled through Europe and Asia a few years ago. It was weird having places like the Eiffel Tower and the streets of New Delhi by ourselves, but in all my dreams, we were alone. We made love on a balcony in Barcelona without anyone seeing us. I sucked him off in front of the ducks in the park. It was like a dream. It was a dream. Or was it? I couldn't understand, and when I was home in my bed with Eric again, I felt a need to ask him some questions.

We laid naked next to each other. We stripped as often as we could when we were together, sometimes just to touch each other's skin.

“Where are you when you're not here, with me?” I asked carefully. He spooned me from behind, and I played with one of his big hands.

“I don't know,” he said shortly, and I could feel him shrugging. “I guess it's mostly dark? Sometimes I think I can hear someone talking, but maybe it's your regular life I can hear in some way?” He laughed a little in confusion.

“So you like, sleep?”

“The eternal rest, I guess.” He stroked my hair away from my neck so he could give me tender kisses there. I was quiet and let his kisses take over my thoughts. It was too depressing to think about. Too weird to think about. Eric was lying in a coffin under dirt. His body… I tried to get the thought away; the inner pictures were too awful.

After some more kisses, I could hear a growl in my ear. No, it wasn't Odin; it was Eric.

“Is the puppy here again?” I said with a laugh, and he licked my ear, and I was forced to lay a hand over it because it became too much.

Eric had a really playful side, especially under the foreplay. It wasn't a part of our lovemaking, but he loved acting like a dog or like he had never seen a woman's body before he gave me a hard pounding.

The puppy crawled up, so he stood on all fours over me and nuzzled the side of my neck and naked chest. When he lightly bit one of my nipples, I pushed him away. 

“Bad dog!” 

He gave me a big-eyed look but smiled playfully and then continued with playing and fighting me, like he was a dog who hadn't learned to play nicely. He made me laugh but was also, strangely enough, aroused. It was something so sexy in a man looking like Eric wanting to play that he was a puppy. 

××× 

“So you have slept more than 12 hours per night this week? That doesn't sound good at all!” Said Desiree while she put more sugar in her tea. 

She had come to me after work because she thought I was so bad at answering my phone. She was worried about me, while I didn't think much about my real life at all. I thought about Eric. My days were short, so I could meet Eric again. I went up, ate, took a shower, cared for Odin, and fantasized about Eric. Then I went to bed again to be able to talk about silly things like what really happens to a worm when you cut it in half, scream with music we had listened to as kids (Evanescence was great for it) and make love in all sorts of ways. I hadn't even thought about having a social life outside of my dreamland. 

“You miss Robin?” 

“Hm?” I looked at her confused until I realized what she meant. Robin was still with his uncle. 

“Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. We hang out quite a bit, but mostly I'm just tired,” I said with a shrug. Desiree looked at me inspectingly. 

“You must tell me if it is something... I mean, you asked about Robin's junkie brother; are you taking drugs or something?” 

I made a little laugh and made a face. 

“Of course not! I would never! You know that! I don't even take painkillers!” 

“I know, I know. But you sleep too much. You should do something about it.” 

I shrugged my shoulders because I had no plans on sleeping less. The only thing I didn't know then was that my dream, playing puppy with Eric, would be my last dream about him. 

The first night, I thought it was maybe just that night, but when it continued, I started to cry myself to sleep, but Eric wasn't there to comfort me. Instead, I had the boring dreams I've had before the dreams about Eric, about rude customers, and about friends I hadn't seen for ten years. Eric was gone. 

I looked at my bed tiredly the fifth day. I hadn't slept a thing that night, and it felt like I never wanted to sleep again. I knew you died if you didn't sleep or started to eat your own flesh or something, but I wasn't afraid of that. In my darkest moments, I wondered if death was the answer to everything. Reunite with Eric in the land of the dead. After all, he was there, so if I wanted to find him, I was forced to join him there. I thought about methods to do it—taking pills, cutting my wrists, jumping in front of a train—when my phone rang. I looked at it and felt some sort of hope in me when I saw Robin's name. 

“Robin?” I answered quickly. 

“Hey! I'm on my way home!” He said it brightly, and I laughed in relief. 

“Oh, god! I missed you so much!” 

“Have you? You haven't called?” He said it with a laugh, and for a second I saw his brother in my head, laughing—the reason why I had neglected Robin. 

“I'm sorry, I've just had some trouble with my sleep. How is your uncle?” 

“He's good. He's awake and up, and yeah, he will be fine.” 

“That's so good. Oh my god, Robin... I missed you so much…” I said and cried silently for myself. 

××× 

I really tried to accept that everything with Eric was a dream. Sometimes the brain is weird and my imagination created something I needed right then and there. It was strange to think that the only person I really had been in love with was a creation in my brain, that the passionate sex we had was probably me masturbating in my sleep. It was also weird to think about what creativity my brain must possess without me knowing it. 

After two more weeks without Eric I decided to make a change and went back to work. Instead of my shorts and tank tops I wore long 70s skirts and airy 90s dresses. I knew I needed to act like I was okay to be okay. Robin cut my hair in my regular style so it looked fresh and cute again and after a month more I started to date a friend of one of my colleagues. Her name was Angelica and worked as a dog trainer and complained over Odin every chance she got, even if she couldn't discipline him either. In those moments I thought about Eric. I also thought about him when she went down on me and he was better at it, even if she shared the same anatomy as me. I continued to date her even if we didn't have anything in common. It felt like it was what I should do in this world. In a world without Eric. 

××× 

Angelica pulled on my dress and I looked at her irritated as we stood by the bar waiting for our turn. I had a short black lace dress on, and I knew she tried to say that she thought I needed to think about its length. When I leaned into the bar counter too much it rode up, and some lucky people could probably see my ass cheeks. To Angelica's horror I instead pulled it up a bit more so people could definitely see my ass and she pulled it down fast. 

“Fuck, must you be so uptight! It's Friday for fuck sake!” I said and got a pleased nod from a guy standing next to me. I gave him one back like we were members of the same club and Angelica rolled her eyes. 

“Can't you think about me a little? I don't think it's cool you do stuff like that when you're here with me!” She said over the music, quite loudly. 

“Yeah, yeah,” I said with a shoulder shrug. 

Angelica could be quite controlling and jealous and it had surprised me because she was a knockout. She was that kind of a girl who guys tried to turn and beg to be straight but she didn't want cock. She wasn't like me and could miss a cock when I was with a girl. She thought they were gross, just like the men attached to them. 

“Can't we go home instead?” She said and I looked around at the people in the club. I wanted to dance, even if it was bad music. 

“Can't we dance?” I asked with a sweet smile. Angelica looked at me sourly and crossed her arms. For a moment I felt forced to do what she wanted but then a remix of Video/Radio by System of a Down started to play and I felt my heart start to beat so hard it definitely tried to crawl out from my chest. Memories from a dream made my blood into fuzzy soda. 

“I must dance!” I just said, and jumped out on the dance floor alone and pushed my way forward to the DJs podium. 

I was good at dancing on my own. I pushed away every hand that caressed my skin, ignored every friendly smile, and moved away from every crotch that tried to push against me. I was in my own world, or in mine and Eric's. He danced silly, sometimes lost in the music, but he also pulled me close to him so we could enjoy each other's closeness and feel our pulse go down together. Eric was the only dance partner I needed. When a Justin Timberlake song came on it felt like it was time for me to leave the dance floor. It wasn't music Eric would dance to. I searched for Angelica, and for a few seconds I wondered if she had left without me, but then I saw her on a couch with a dark haired girl, sitting way too close to each other to be okay, if I cared. I had thought the thought before, that I needed to break it off with Angelica, but didn't know what to say. Now she gave me a reason. Angelica played with the girl’s hair, and dragged her hand down her tattooed arm. It was then I looked more closely at the girl’s face. Yes, it was. I was almost positive it was… 

“Simone?” I walked up to her, and Angelica, and Angelica quickly moved away from the girl. If I hadn't been drinking I would have never dared to play my game, but now I was a bit drunk, high on my fantasies of Eric, but also a bit pissed Angelica humiliated me. 

“Yeah?” Said the girl, and looked me up and down confused. She wore a black tank top and black jeans, nothing special at all, but they looked great on her. I sat down, in between them just to be annoying, and looked at Simone closely. She was hot in a much more interesting way than Angelica, and in another world I maybe had tried to flirt with her too. 

“Aren't you Eric's ex?” I said it carefully, I didn't want to upset her. She looked away with an unreadable expression then sighed. 

“Yeah.” 

I nodded a little, and tried to slow my heart rate by taking a few deep breaths. 

“I'm sorry for your loss. It was three years ago, right?” 

“Hm?” She looked at me confused, and I looked at her in a similar way. 

“Since Eric's death?” 

“What the fuck are you talking about? He isn't dead.” 

I looked at her like she was speaking another language. I couldn't understand what she was saying but sweat broke out on my forehead and under my arms. If she said what I thought she said something was really weird. 

“Yes he is, I know his brother…”

“No, he's out there, being a high asshole as usual.”

“No… He died, his mom-” 

Simone took up her phone and scrolled through something, then she pushed her phone in my face. It was a story on Snapchat by someone called “JickJackRoo42”, and there next to another tattooed guy he sat, alive and well. He had a joint between his thumb and forefinger, and inhaled when he noticed the camera. 

There he was. Eric. My Eric. Dead Eric, but fully alive Eric. 

“Eric isn't dead!” 

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