#he is so i want to chew him up as a gumball

[solacedeer]

do i care for matias or is the nickname matty very fun

[hisbitch101]

Short smoke sesh w Prohero! Katsuki^_^

NSFW under the cut!

Minors dni!

^^ i just thought to make this because it was all that i could think about lolz

Includes: weed^, fem! Reader. use of y/n, nipple play! (On katsuki), hint of sub!katsuki, cowgirl, cursing, i think thats it if i missed anything let me know!!

Prohero! Katsuki probably smokes once in a while so he doesn't mess up his hero performance.

Prohero! Katsuki who has red eyes and a glazed-over look, is feeling good and he just wants to cling to y/n instead of doing anything else

Prohero! Katsuki who is naturally a good chef makes bomb ass food and only gives you a few bites because of how much he wants to eat it

Prohero! Katsuki looks at you with confusion when you turn on a cartoon-like amazing world of Gumball or Teen Titans because it is too kiddie

Prohero! Katsuki is no longer confused as he watches and he feels like he is inside the show

Prohero! Katsuki that is put on a limit because when you roll up again he feels like he too has to keep going

Prohero! Katsuki asks you to "blow that smoke 'n my mouth like last time"

Prohero! Katsuki lets you please yourself by using him because his strength weakened

Prohero! Katsuki who is sensitive to every small touch "Stop teasing damnit!"

Prohero! Katsuki loves how you suck him off and look at him with your eyes equally as red when he lays his head supported by pillows

Prohero! Katsuki gets impatient and tells you "'m ready to feel that dirty little cunt of yours woman hurry up already! Takin' all damn night!"

Prohero! Katsuki who chews up his word when you ride him like no tomorrow as you kiss down his neck playing with his nipples

Prohero! Katsuki that cums faster than normal when he's high

Prohero! Katsuki sleeps heavily after and leaves the mess for in the morning

Comments, reblogs, and likes are very much appreciated!! My first time writing on this blog i think ill continue.

©hisbitch101 2024. 𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗱𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘁, 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗹, 𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗼𝗱𝗶𝗳𝘆 𝗺𝘆 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝘀𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗲. 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗰𝘂𝘁𝗲. 𝗶’𝗹𝗹 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁�� 𝘁𝗵𝗲 my scary dog boyfriend ꨄ

[yokohamapound]

BSD Boys With a Nervous Flier S/O

For Amulet! <3

(I added Chuuya for me. :P)

Characters: Dazai Osamu, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Edogawa Ranpo, Nakahara Chuuya

Contents: NSFW jokes/references, fear of flying.

Dazai Osamu

Don’t bother trying to hide it. Dazai can pick up on every tiny little tell, so unless you’ve got the world’s best poker face, he’ll figure it out before you say a single word. It’s all there, the shrunken pupils when he shows you the tickets, wiping your sweaty palms on your pants when you’re booking the taxi to the airport, the harsh, unsteady breathing when you’re queueing to check in. 

For once, wisely, he drops the double suicide jokes. The last thing you need to think about right now is you or him dying, and he’s that much of an ass. Most of the time.

He wraps an arm around your shoulders, leaning in and whispering in your ear so it doesn’t carry to the other passengers in the boarding queue. “Guess what?”

You frown, distracted momentarily, and look at him. “What?”

His eyes glitter with mischief, and his smile widens into a full blown smirk. “You know how your ears sometimes pop when the cabin pressure changes? They say you should have chew gum or suck on candy.”

Your eyes narrow, suspicious. Dazai leans down to look into your eyes, grinning. 

“I don’t have any candy, but I’ve got something you can su—oww!”

He deserved to have his foot trodden on, really. Dazai might pout, but internally he’s smug that his plan to distract you worked. He’s got plenty more like that up his sleeve. 

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Flying with Fyodor is something different entirely. With the weight (and wallet) of the Decay of Angels behind him, he would never fly on a commercial airline. Normally he doesn’t care much - he’ll take a helicopter or some other type of solo plane. If he’s taking his precious myshka though, he’s flying in style. 

Naturally, he already knows about your fear of flying.

You can take comfort in the fact that Fyodor has literally already thought of everything. There are multiple contingency plans for any conceivable emergency onboard the jet. He has a backup helicopter. There are parachutes. There are backup parachutes. 

All you have to do is get dolled up and sit pretty on one of the luxurious recliner seats, being fed little tidbits of fruit and cake and sipping champagne. Fyodor has his laptop out, watching the endless screeds of incomprehensible information, one resting on your thigh, thumb tracing circles into your warm, soft skin. 

If you want a sedative, he’ll allow it, though his tone is subtly disapproving. He doesn’t like seeing you passed out (unless he’s been the one to drug you or exhaust you, naturally.) Still, if it makes you feel better.

He has…other methods to distract you however. Ones you’ll learn all about when he orders the cabin crew out of the main seating area and draws the curtains. You’ll be flying so high you might not even notice you’ve landed. 

Edogawa Ranpo

Ranpo has an easy solution to all your fears and anxieties—he’s such a baby that you have to look after him and you just won’t have time to worry about the plane going down, because you’ll be trying to convince him he can’t cram a whole gumball machine in his suitcase.

“It’ll fit!”

“You know it won’t! It’s physically impossible. You’re supposed to be a genius!”

“Well, I'm on vacation!”

He’s exuberant and excited to wander through Duty Free and buy all the varieties of chocolate and snacks they sell. Ranpo isn’t getting on that plane without snacks. Have you eaten plane food? That’s simply not going to cut it for the World’s Greatest Detective. 

It’s almost…calculated, the way he seems to rush off to a new thing every time your jitters start coming back. Your heart starts to race, your mouth goes dry, and then you notice Ranpo is gone from your side again. 

By the time you get onto the actual plane, you’re lowkey exhausted, and he still looks as smug as ever, his bag of chips rustling as he snacks in his seat. He opens his eyes, looks around the plane with that sharp, green gaze, then shrugs and settles against the backrest. 

“Nothing wrong with the plane, we’ll be fine,” he declares, tossing a chip into his mouth. “Do you think they have Ramune?”

Nakahara Chuuya

Chuuya is a well-travelled guy due to his position as a Port Mafia executive and enforcer. It seems as if he gets sent abroad now and then to look after the mafia’s foreign interests and contracts. Koyo seems to stay back more, acting as Mori’s advisor, so it’s Chuuya who racks up the airmiles. He generally travels first or business class, because he’s not about to be back in the cattle runs—sorry, economy. 

He’s so used to it by now that booking the flights, packing, and getting to the airport are a breeze. It’s so mundane to him that he’s a little surprised to find out how frightened you are. He has to admit, it’s kinda cute. 

He lounges next to you in your first class seats, a glass of wine in one hand and your hip in the other, cuddling you against his side. 

“Dollface, what’re you shakin’ for?” he teases, poking you in the ribs. “You forgettin’ who you’re flyin’ with?”

Oh. That’s right. Mr. Gravity Master himself. 

“So if something happens, you could stop the plane falling?” you ask, almost in disbelief. 

He scoffs. “What do you take me for? You’re gonna be on the safest flight in existence. They should be paying me to fly.”

[kteezy997]

The Candy Man-Part Eight//W.W.

warnings/info: Wonka family fluff, mention of secret sex room at the chocolate factory

A few months later…

It was all coming together. Willy worked day and night, creating the chocolate factory, all while coming home late and still helping with the babies. Your man barely slept, and you knew he was tired, but he was determined to create the most spectacular chocolate factory that the world had ever seen. You were just glad that he had hired an entire staff to help him, so he wasn't doing it all on his own.

Finally, he allowed you to come and work with him as well. He didn't want you to go back to work too soon after giving birth. But you insisted that you were ready.

The first day, you brought the babies along to see their father's work. They had grown so much. They were crawling everywhere, and so interested in the world around them. Their hair had thickened and become curlier, and they had plump, healthy little bodies. Maple was sweet and cuddly, and you were able to tie her hair up into tiny ponytails on the top of her head. Mocha was sweet too, but he could be a little too adventurous, almost to the point of getting into mischief.

You carried Mae and Willy carried Mocha into the chocolate room. This room was going to be special; you could tell by the way Willy had talked so excitedly about it.

"Alright, it's just behind this door." he said, turning the handle. He looked at you, biting his lip.

The door opened, and you didn't know where to put your eyes. The room was vast, with vibrant colors. Lush green grass, giant mushrooms with whipped cream spots, edible flowers of all shapes and sizes, and trees that rained gumballs. And trees adorned with giant gummy bears as well as multi-colored candy canes. The walking path was a rainbow of lights under your feet.

"Everything you see is edible, y/n." he said, setting Mocha down to explore.

However, the most jaw-dropping thing was the centerpiece chocolate river that flowed all through the room.

You were speechless, it took you a moment to really take it all in.

Willy took Mae from you, letting her join her brother in chewing on the candy grass.

"Willy...this is incredible. It's like nothing I've ever seen."

He came over to you, taking you in his arms. He kissed you, smiling softly as he pulled away. "It's all I ever wanted for myself, but I did it even bigger because of you and the babies. You, my family, are my biggest inspiration."

Your heart melted, and your eyes welled up with happy tears. "Oh, Willy, we are so lucky to have you. You work so hard, and we are so proud of you." you looked around the room again, "This is like a dream."

"It's just Pure Imagination, my love." he looked into your eyes, "Come with me." he said with a nod. He picked up both of the babies and started a stroll through the candy room.

You were delighted to follow them, and watch your children ooh and ahh at their father's creations. All the while, Willy sang his little tune, which he used a lot at home with kids, "Pure Imagination." His voice was so angelic. Maple and Mocha were mesmerized every time their father sang. You were certain your children would know the song by heart by the time they started to talk in full sentences. He had been singing it to them since they were still in the womb, after all.

You could see your future. Your curly headed kids growing and running amuck through daddy's factory. Willy would let them have all the sugar that they wanted, within reason, of course.

Now that Mr. Hudson had granted you a divorce, you had a vision of a magical wedding with Willy, sans candy. Sugary treats were your life with Willy, but you were both happy having a traditional wedding without all the busy colors that came with your Wonka treats. Mocha was the ring bearer and Mae the flower girl. It would be absolutely perfect; a day full of pure love.

.............

One evening, Willy came home, all excited. "Honey, your office is ready. Let me show you." he said, grinning widely and taking your hand.

"Whoa, whoa, Willy, who is going to watch the kids?" you giggled.

"Oh, I've got that covered." he said confidently, opening the front door of your home to reveal Noodle and her mother, Dorothy.

"Hey, y/n!" said Noodle, her eyes already searching for the little ones she adored. Once she spotted them in the living room, she ran to them immediately.

You greeted sweet Dorothy, thanking her for babysitting as well, and then you and Willy were off to the factory.

…….

Willy showed you your new office, and it was spacious and cozy. It was the perfect workstation! He even took the time to put up a couple of photos of the twins on your desk, as well as a vase of fresh flowers for you.

But he was more excited to show you something else. He led you to another room just down the way from your office. He put in a secret code that was several digits long. “Alright, my love, I hope you like this.” he smirked.

You walked in, seeing a queen-sized bed in the middle of the room and suddenly you were realizing what this room was meant for. There were big jars of different chocolates and candies all along the walls. Large ropes of red licorice hung on hooks. There were oversized candy canes as well.

“Wow. You continue to surprise me, Mr. Wonka.” you said, in awe of the…playroom.

“The walls are stone, of course, so no one can hear what goes on in this room.” Willy took your hands, “Honey, there are things that I want to experiment with, but just for us two. I hope you’re comfortable going on this…sexual journey with me?”

“Oh, yes, Willy, of course!” You kissed him, “I can’t believe you went to such lengths for me. It's so sexy. I love you, baby.” you then nuzzled your nose against his.

“You know that there’s no limit to what I’d do to please you. It’s my life’s work, darling. Well, after being a good husband and father, and making chocolate of course.”

“Wait, Willy, we’re not married.” you giggled.

Willy’s eyes widened, “Oh yes, that’s right. I forgot.” Then, he got down on one knee, "Y/n, will you marry me?" He presented you with a little jewelry box, opened it, revealing a beautiful diamond ring.

You gasped, without even thinking, you blurted out, "Yes!"

Willy smiled from ear to ear, slid the ring on your fourth finger on your left hand and shot up to his feet to hug you.

You were lifted off of your feet by him, and you cried tears of joy as he spun you around with glee.

"You're gonna be Mrs. Wonka!" Willy cheered.

@gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @musicandbooksaremyhappyplace @tchalamss @softhecreator @bitchyunknownuser @lixzey @kpopgirlbtssvt

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, 3x8, Let The Games Begin. Part 7 (It's Been A While)

Last chapter was posted May 11th. Apologies for the hiatus. The vibes need to be just right to create these things. You can read parts 1-6 and everything else in my pinned post. On the last episode of TWWGG: "After Lorelai (Rory) exits the (Yale) interview, one that was seemingly a success, she immediately turns to Richard to chew him out for springing the interview on her last minute and not giving her time to prepare. That is more than fair coming from Rory, to be quite honest. And I’m glad to see her standing up for herself." Lesss gooo. Lorelai hauls Rory into a cab. They arrive home at night, even though it was blazing sunshine a short distance away at Yale. Rory asks Lorelai if they can not talk about college for 2 days and she agrees and everything that just happened is brushed aside and forgotten. Kidding. After a brave display of defiance towards Richard moments earlier, Rorynow expresses her guilt for not towing the line for Mommy. Mommy was right. Mommy is always right.

I....you know...forget it.

I think I should cross off "Lorelai and Rory eat at Luke's without paying" from the Bingo Card. Bringing outside food into his establishment? That's just rude. Luke could probably send Jess to college with all of Rory and Lorelai's unpaid checks and stiffed tips.

Saying it outloud isn''t going to change their unethical and frankly downright criminal behavior, Lucas. You know this.

Or at least a bag of Doritos.

Why hello, my sweet baby darling. I'm ready to Cmhrrrh.

Oh, Is "studying" what the kids call tonsil hockey these days? Run like the wind Rory! RUNNNN. I just have this good feeling Rory is totally not going to blow this sacred opportunity to have unsupervised makeout time with Jess or anything like that. Never, in the kingdom of The Queen of Blue Balls. Lorelai and Luke watch as Rory runs after Jess to "Study". Wink wink nudge nudge. Then a few seconds later without a shred of irony or realization, Luke tells Lorelai how he told Jess that as long as he lives under his roof he's gotta keep his pants on.

You're off to a ripping start already.

Lorelai is being rational? She's not running after them? "It's okay"? She's pulling the "They're teenagers, they can kiss in the dark" shit for Jess and Rory like she did for Dean? I'd say "Fetch me my fainting couch" but I know it's all a big fat farce, Lorelai is full of shit as per uszh, and my fainting couch is in the shop.

Settle down, Lucas. You're going to have a stroke one of these days. Or steam is going to come out of his ears like in a cartoon. Or he'll snap and go on a killing spree.

I've never seen two grown adults who weren't in some kind of strict religious sect have such near anyeursms because their adult children want to kiss each other. What are the odds Luke Danes, the varsity athlete, was much sluttier than Jess when he was 18? Probably pretty high. Cross off "Do as I Say Not As I Do" on the Episode Bingo Card.

Pretty rich coming from Ms "Also Has Run Around All Over Town Looking for Jess and Rory" and "Ms. Run Around All Over Town Looking For a Gumball Machine Bracelet"

I can rely on Lorelai being insufferable in every episode, but when Luke is insufferable too I pray for the sweet relief of the end credits. I hope in his Cockblocking Quest of Glory, that he trips on something. Or loses his hat.

Smoking against a gas pump. Living dangerously. I don't blame him for having a bit of a death wish, to be quite honest. Luke should be more concerned that Jess is going to cause an explosion that will level Stars Hollow into a parking lot than him rounding first base. (Where the hell did Luke go, by the way?)

Whatcha thinkin aboutt?

That was such a good HUH. *pets his sweet head*

*gnaws on the drywall* SUCH A GOOD KISS. I have no words. Okay, That’s a lie, I do have words but I ran out of space so I will see you in part 8 for the thrilling conclusion (which is: Rory ruins this precious moment by abandoning Jess and chasing after Dean) Oh god. I just skipped ahead and there's a Lorelai Couch Speech at the end too. Mind if I join you for a cigarette against the gas pumps, Jess?

[ceilingfan5]

15 "Denim jacket with bleach-painted bone motif" & 11 "If they don’t smile at me today I’m going to eat an entire drum set" and taakitz 👀

“If he doesn’t smile at me today, I’m going to eat an entire drum set,” Taako rants, throwing his apron on the counter. He didn’t intend to get on this topic, and now the words won’t stop coming out of his mouth like a busted gumball machine shooting gumballs and quarters all over the floor. Watch out for some Looney Toons ass shenanigans, word listeners, because here comes a mess. “Like what the fuck? He’s too pretty to be allowed to live. He makes me want to hop in a peanut grinder and become Taako butter and live a better life between two slices of discount sliced bread, you know?”

“With jelly, or like-?” Ren grins at him, wiping down the counters, far too thorough. Taako’s got places to be. 

“Obviously with jelly, Ren, what the fuck do you take me for?” Taako grumps.

“Could be honey,” she shrugs pointedly, still looking very pleased with herself. “Maybe you two can become a sandwich together and ride off into a toaster sunset. Maybe you just need to say, hey, honey-”

“And just declare my intentions so boldly?” Taako puts a dramatic hand to his chest, scandalized as loudly as possible. “You can’t do this to me in the workplace, I’m calling HR.”

“Noooo, not again!” she giggles. “Seriously, though, Taako. If he’s cool enough to play in your band, and wear that sick jacket-”

“It’s got bleach-painted bones,” Taako moans, sliding down the counter and onto the floor. She daintly steps over him, and he briefly considers tugging on her apron strings. “And he plays the drums. And the bass guitar. And I think the cello?” Taako mimes playing a flute. “You know the one.”

“Yup,” Ren says, looking down at him as seriously as she can manage. “That one.” 

“And the guys–I can’t tell them. I shouldn’t even be telling you. No offense. I’m mysterious and private and I’m, I’m going to die alone, and,” he tips his head back, misjudges the distance, and hits the cabinet doors with a too-solid thunk that makes him yearn for the good old days, before stupid fucking phylum Chordata got any wise bone ideas. 

Now, wise bone ideas, he possesses a few. He snickers at his own head joke, and Ren gives him a generous half-smile. He sighs. 

“I don’t know. I don’t know,” he slides further onto the floor. She keeps cleaning, bless her. “I worry I’m not- I mean, obviously I am cool enough, natch,”

“Natch,” she repeats, not looking at him. He wipes an imaginary tear from his cheek while she can’t see. He’s trained her so well. 

“But what if we’re different flavors of cool and he isn’t into Taako butter? What if he’s, I dunno, fuckin- sriracha, or, or, or,” Taako gestures emptily. “Cubed cheese you have to get at an art exhibition.”

“You’re as cool as cubed cheese, Taako.” Ren sighs, giving up and half-laying on the counter. 

“I know that,” Taako snaps, warmed in the soul or something stupid like that. 

“And he’s a nerd who plays in a band and wants you to like his sick jacket. Just go, hey, sick jacket, and he’ll be like oh my god thank you for noticing, everybody thought I was too cool to come say hey sick jacket and I’ve been vibrating myself to pieces wanting to tell everybody the fine details of the bleach painting process, did you know that human bones are whack-ass shapes? Ulnas don’t look right. Ever.”

“Yeah, what is up with those guys, anyway?” Taako has to rotate his arm this way and that a couple of times, chewing her advice in his head. “I’m gonna fuck my drummer,” he decides, in perhaps not the same breath but certainly a consecutive one.

“Good, I’m glad. Can we close already? I hate to tell you this, but I do have a life outside my hero worship of you. I’m like, my own whole interesting guy.” Ren smiles, straightens up, and offers him a hand. 

“That can’t be right,” Taako muses, and he lets her pull him up. “You don’t even have a last name.”

“Do you?” She cocks an eyebrow, trying not to laugh.

“That’s debatable,” Taako says airily, and blows her a kiss. “You’re driving dessert tomorrow, bring your A-game. Your A+ game! No, your- uh-”

“I’ll bring my super diamond special reserve game!” she shouts, bouncing excitedly. “Thanks Taako! I hope your drummer wants you!” And before he can even counter that one, she’s off to lock the doors and flip the sign.

Taako’s going home and changing before band practice. Yep.  

[slime-sandwhich-nom]

Tawog human au but it's my own version

First off designs.

Penny!

With shell: dark skin, dark brown straight hair with bangs! She covers her face with a scarf and a hoodie. He wears an oversized sweater and a skirt, with under leggings. And her famous shoes she had when she had her shell. The color scheme is similar to her cartoon version

Without shell: her hair becomes wavy, dying her hair blonde, this time her outfit is similar to her canon design, except she wears a skirt instead of shorts (still with leggings under) and the two ponytails remain!

She's just heavily based on this vv

The Watterson kids!

Anais: she's go light skin, straight blonde hair tied up in two ponytails, kind of like penny. Her clothing are the same as in the show.

Gumball: wavy dark brown hair, he actually cut his own hair before and did a mess, but since penny said he liked his hair like this (messy and layered..badly.) he kept them. He's got the same clothing, but instead here he wears dark blue converse.

Darwin: dark skin, and black hair (and little afro he likes to style sometimes, but mostly he had a hood on.) he's got his famous green converse, a orange hoodie with little fins like a fish. And some green sport shorts.

And I did not make the others design because this idea came out of nowhere, but little facts I thought for this au!

• the Watterson actually own a bunch of animals. A pet fish (which was gumball's since he was small), a bunny (anais') and the beloved turtle from the show, but she ran away.

gumball actually non officially owns a cat, it's a stray that gumball just keeps feeding so now it just hangs around, gumball always lets the cat in too.

• Darwin is actually taller than gumball (reference to how Darwin's voice actor is taller than gumballs (pretty sure it was Nicholas Cantu, not the previous ones.))

• gumball writes fanfiction...(His fursona is his cartoon version.) But it's like the biggest secret ever.

• gumball and Darwin did dye their hair before, gumball has like such a long period where he had blue hair because penny said it fit him well.

• gumball got his nickname because he tends to sleep is weird ass position and just stretches super long, kind of like what happens to a gumball when you chew it. (Not joking the stray cat gumball feeds is named gumball.)

• penny wants to follow the career of a artistic gymnastic.

Gumball would either go for animation, or anything to do with cats, so probably a vet.

Darwin is for synchronized swimming!

Anais.. probably something about math or physics.

Yeah that's it lol

[mayisgoingnuts]

"Post-Happy Fella Attack" (Deadly Smiles) — Wicked Month AU Rewrite

Tagss: @merwynsartblog @crossover-enthusiast @sunny6677

"What to do, what to do?!"

Kevin panicked, seeing the maniac doll run after him. At some point, he finally has an idea, getting a bunch of gum from the machine and chewing them.

As the Happy Fella laughed and grew even closer, Kevin put all that chewed candy on his hand to continue, but the toy was already too close. He ended up aggressively kicking it, making it hit the wall once again, before throwing the gum at its face.

Dexter fell on the floor, getting up with struggles since the gum was sticky.

"Even if I can't see you... I'll find you, AND I'LL KILL YOU-"

But his muffled voice had an end as soon as Kevin put a bucket on the doll, grabbing it. He opened the door at the back of the store with a kick, throwing both the Happy Fella and the bucket, straight at its head; which simply bounced and flew away.

Kevin closed the door with a relieved sigh. It did not last long, hearing the store's doorbell.

"Hey fool man- oh?"

The kids stopped, looking down at Kevin's bruise.

"What happened to you? You're even worse."

Skid's surprised expression slowly revealed a little smile, that only grew.

"Does it hurt?"

"W.. What?"

"If it hurts!"

Kevin seems to feel both offended and confused. "O-Of course it does. I'm bleeding."

Pump looked around searching for what could've hurt Kevin, spotting the fallen candies, a few of them broken aswell. He then pointed, making the other two look at it.

"Hah, I get it! He fell and hurt himself."

Kevin frowned, while Skid just chuckled. "Nah, he can't do THIS by falling. Unless he's super dumb..."

"He IS super dumb!"

The children began to giggle with each other, barely paying attention to the one who's hurt.

"Look, what do you two even want? If it's candy," He pointed at a random shelf. "There! Take it for free. I don't care."

They finally stop giggling, with Skid shaking his head as an attempt to focus.

"No no, not that."

"Oh I want free candy!" Pump exclaimed, walking away to grab something for himself.

"We lost our doll at the movie theater, and... we're searching for it," Kevin's eyes widened for a moment as he listened. "So since you're always here, did you saw a doll with a funny eye and-"

"The doll I threw in the back... is YOURS?!"

Skid's mood lightened up. Meanwhile, Pump returns to the scene, holding a broken lollipop with a face of disappointment.

"Oh, it's in the back?" It makes Pump also smile, dropping the lollipop.

"Thanks fool man!!"

They once and for all walk away, with Skid kicking the candy on the floor. It flies and hits a gumball machine, that breaks and only causes even more mess.

Kevin stares at disbelief, and Skid just laughs.

As they're gone, Kevin groans loudly and prepares to throw a tantrum out of rage, but manages to calm down and not do it.

"I shouldn't be surprised..."

[shmowder]

It was such a treat to read your Yulia hcs!! Earlier you'd made a post wondering what your writing feels like to others. Sometimes I'd liken it to bubble gum - like a big gumball I just want to bite into and chew for a long time (don't worry, it's a magical gumball that doesn't lose its flavor).

The Yulia hcs were like a pastry with powdered sugar and cream (no doubt this is influenced by you mentioning the pastry at the beginning) - something delicate. Like snow falling in a snow globe and like a warm hug at the same time. Lovely ♡ I appreciate that you always take care to mention her leg as well.

I love both kinds of food!!!!! Thank you for taking the time to write my requests :) <3

-

Ooh, ships! I haven't ventured very far into any Patho ships tbh! I know the big one is Daniil x Artemy ofc. I'm really hoping that the Marble Nest and P1 will help me connect with Daniil more. And I do enjoy Artemy x Aglaya.

What I meant was more along the lines of what personality traits in a reader would make them a good match for those characters? Uhh I cannot phrase this to save my life. In your Victor x reader fluff, you said that a stubborn confident reader would do well with him, so something like that!

But you basically answered my question anyway ^^ "Someone who can stand her enough to live together" for Yulia lmfao. Your description of Peter and Yulia is killing me. This too is #girlrotting.

I'm interested to see how Yulia x Eva plays out in P1 or if it's just mentioned in passing. Somebody on reddit described Eva as "a dreamer without a dream" - I barely know her but that seems to match up with what you're saying and I LOVE that phrase.

I see both of your Bad Grief visions and I've actually seen some vaguely shippy Victor x Grief art before.

I'm not too invested in any ships. If you want to know something terrible... I've briefly entertained the idea of Big Vlad x Artemy........ if he didn't always call Artemy "my boy" and if other characters weren't frequently accusing Artemy of being like, owned by him or whatever, then I wouldn't be like this..... it's the guard dog trope. Obviously this would have to be in an alternate universe where Artemy's dialogue choices didn't strongly imply he's not on board 😆 Well, there's my cursed opinion of the day.

🐿️ anon

Oh! I'm sorry, i must have misunderstood your request then.

Here is what I think the "ideal" Reader for each character would be:

Katerina Saburova

Someone who would never lose faith in her no matter how dire her state becomes. To see her value hidden beneath the role she failed to play, the responsibility she failed to fullfill and the Misteress she couldn't amount to.

To understand her pain, take it from her shoulder and carry it before her collarbones crack. Wipe her tears and tell her it will be okay, allow her the small relief of medicine and never judge her because her cruel harsh mind already does that.

She knows she is a mess, she knows her addiction to morphine is wrong. Moments of lucidity sneak up on her from time to time, the guilt suffocating and the shame like razors dragging down her throat.

She is aware of what the town people whisper behind her back, of her ruined reputation. Don't become one of them too, please, more than anything she needs a friend right now.

Someone to love her unconditionally, but also someone to take the difficult steps her in stead. To hold her and comfort her as withdrawal set her nerves on fire and her nails dig into her skin.

To make her forget about this damned town or her barren womb, grant her a moment of genuine peace, a facade of normalcy. Take her outside, let her remember the smell of fresh air, pluck stray dandelions to gently tuck between her hairstrands, keep her warm in your arms as the chilly autumn winds breeze by.

Remind her how life was before all of this madness, who she was. Katerina can't even recall her own hobbies or interests, she is lost and only she can save herself.

So at least be there for her, show her that there is more to life. Be gentle, never cruel. Be patient and never judgmental. Be loving and never afraid.

-

Yulia Lyuricheva

As pathetic as it might sound, Yulia just wants one soul who will stand her enough to spend time together, to live in the same house and share bread and a bed.

She is often quiet around other people, she learned to be. She had to. Being too much was her curse for this lifetime, apparently. Ever since she was young, she quickly understood how saying the wrong things would tremble down the fragile foundation every relationship is built on.

Yulia likes most people, believe it or not. How can she not when everyone is so interesting and unique? Every single person is the accumulative of all the choices and paths they picked during their lifetime. A coin toss of fate during every decision, red strings weaving into a whole person, scouplting their personality out of clay from their history and experiences.

Most humans are interesting and rather adorable. She enjoys observing them, making notes, and connecting the dots. Appreciating the work of art, mathematics' creation.

Each of them like naive children in a playground, pretending to know what they're doing as they wear their adult clothes and go to their adult jobs. Pretending there is some inherent meaning in it all, as if life isn't one big joke, and a rather tactless one at that.

Yulia couldn't fool herself like them. She couldn't play make-believe. She ran by facts and hard evidence, numbers never lied and the grim reality was that humanity's whole existence is just one big coincidence. A blep in the universe, a speck of dust amidst the galaxies and stars.

People didn't like being reminded of those facts, that every birthday is simply one inch deeper into the grave.

Damn her cursed tongue and restless mind.

Therefore she watered herself down, remained content with being an observer. Never causing harm or annoying others, mild mannered and keeping to herself. Isolating, suffocating, forced to be the only victim subjected to the dark corners of her mind.

When the abyss started to whisper to her back, Yulia turned to smoking.

She wants someone who would want her, all of her. The good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. Someone to admire her brilliant mind while remaining strong in the face of her occasion episodes of apathy. Someone who will understand or at least sympathise why she hasn't cleaned her room in weeks, why old coffee mugs are rotting on the table, why she barely opens the windows in her home.

Why she simply cannot bother to exist on some days, dissociating as she blankly stares out the window, or at a wall or an equation drawn on the chalk board.

Why the clocks in her residence require frequent repairs, courtesy to being smashed against the wall in a swift motion when their ticking starts making her ears bleed.

Could someone even stand her when she cannot stand her own self on most days? Could someone love her as she is? Or is she really irredeemable, cursed since birth.

She may seem smart, but she is prone to rather stupid impulsive decisions from time to time. Indulging life risking experiments out of curiosity because she might as well go down in her own style rather than wait for time ungratefully reap her soul.

Someone who will get her out of bed on the days where the idea of chewing food seems too exhausting.

Yulia doesn't want someone who will gift her meaning and a purpose on a silver plate, rather she'd like for you to kindly hold the candle and shine the light so she may find her way herself. It's been years, and she's gotten used to living in the dark.

Be sympathetic but not overindulgent. Be forgiving and not vindictive. Be her shoulder to lean on but still let her walk on her own two legs. Steady her steps but do not lead her or attempt to diverge her path.

Peter Stamatin

He might make it seem like he needs a muse, that a shiny new thing is what will get him out of this rut.

But it won't, all the nymphs of the forest will look dull after one night, all the gems will lose its shine after one touch.

What he needs, is to wake up.

To stop mourning things immediately after their birth, to not borrow grief from tomorrow and keep reliving it each day.

What he needs is the mundane, the human animal basic requirements. To remember he is a mammal deep down, he isn't a concept nor an abstract collection of ideas, he isn't a ghost watching people pass by, he is flesh and blood.

Someone who will bring him back down from his journey up in the clouds, who will steal him back from the stars, from all the gaint things bigger than life itself that he got accustomed to befriending and haveing one sided conversations with.

He cuts his own thoughts before he finishes them because he lost interest, he stops mid sentences because he grew bored of the words coming out of his own mouth.

He will complain and throw tantrums, but you must prevail his trails and stand your ground. He will dramatise things and get mad, he will cry and break down, he will act as if you're plucking his heart out of his chest and crushing it in your hand.

You must prevail.

Remind him that he will survive. Sure, he can get mad, but he must stay alive. Peter needs an intervention, someone brave enough to risk upsetting the crowned prince of humanity's best of the best and tell him it's bedtime.

To drag him away from the blank canvas he has been staring at for hours, to hold him accountable for skipping meals or rotting in bed for weeks without going outside.

Someone to reteach him the basic maintenances task of being alive, the ones he neglected and gradually forgot as he couldn't bother to remember he too own a human body that requires care. That his brain is an organ that requires fuel and breaks as much as it is visions-plagued maze.

Take him with you to bathe, gently lather shampoo in his hair as he stiffly sits in the lukewarm water while watching the yellow rubber duck float by. Guide his fingers when it comes time to apply conditioner and let him remember how the texture of his own hair feels like, watch him rediscover how nice it is to let water wash his worries away.

Peter needs the simple pleasures in life, his soul requires a soft served ice cream cone, a cheap candy from a corner store, a hummed melody you made up while hanging your clothes to dry.

The mundane, the ugly, the eggs with burnt edges. Food that is merely food and nothing else, drinks that are simply drinks rather than magical twyrine mixtures that let him hear whispers he will never be able to decipher or understand.

Be firm but never controlling. Be a teacher but never condescending. Be a human, most of all, a real human being to show him that he is too.

-

Bad Grief

Grief can't decide if he wants someone to see the good in him or if that would cause more harm than good. He has a role to play and he's very good at it.

It is a necessary evil. The gangs will exist with or without him, it's better that he leads them and makes sure they never cross the line than someone else who might not be trusted.

A cause surprisingly more noble than anyone would ever expect of him. This life has fallen directly into his hands, every road led him down his path as if it was custom made for his measurements alone. It was always suspicious, how well things fell into place, how convenient fate was at times.

Does he need someone to see the good in him? peak behind the curtains and view him at his most barest forms? Not really. He is content with playing this role for eternity, a glorified shopkeeper, he can keep the jig up for many years to come.

But is it what he wants? is that what he really wants from life? to surrender to fate and simply take it laying down? He pushes these swarming thoughts away, as if they won't return at dawn.

You didn't fear him, either someone with a death wish, a brave fool or an apathetic idiot.

But he felt weird under your gaze, as if your eyes could see through him, through the facade. You never reacted to his empty threats or intimidation attempts, neither did you acknowledge the fact he is a criminal much. You weren't here to challenge him or take his throne, neither were you here for a favour or to obtain something illegal.

...you were merely here for him? To what... chat?

He did think you were a fool for a while, he won't lie. ulterior motives or not, you were walking into a den of criminals each morning just to what? Talk to him about the weather and how cold autumn is?

You weren't part of the script, clearly an unfated encounter that you deliberately went out of your way to have with him each day.

Until one day, he noticed the lack of any ticking sounds as you approched him. Your usual pocket clock seemed still in place from the chain dangling from your pocket, which could only mean one thing.

"Hand it over dollface."

And you did, as if you anticipated this request.

He fixed it for you, fingers moving by sheer muscle memory alone, a skill he thought he had long forgotten.

Bad Grief wants someone who isn't afraid to be free, who comprehends the role he has to play, who doesn't condemn things they do not understand.

Someone who isn't trying to save him or make him change from this life of crime, but also someone who is brave enough to walk by his side on the streets, to hold his hand in public, to not bend to the whims of the public's opinion.

The air is really chilly, would you like his jacket? ....don't ever call him a gentleman again, he just doesn't want you to freeze to death, that's all.

Grief would love someone who walks their own path, someone who will make the first step for him because deep down he is frozen by fear, too cautious for his own good. Too aware of what's at risk, of what could happen.

Of how much he could endanger you just by knowing your name, just by people seeing you at his side. You do realise what you're sacrificing? the opportunities which will never be presented to you just because you decided to be with someone like him? It's your funeral.

But he really is touched, that someone will see him worth all of that. Bad Grief had to ensure he remains useful to people all his life, that the townfolks need him more than they hate, that he is a necessary foundation that could never be uprooted without the entire structure collapsing.

Even the authorities know that, the Saburov understand his usefulness in keeping the criminal structure plates at bay, how he sets the rules and decides where to draw the line. A mutual beneficial relationship built of begrudging respect and fear.

He needs you to understand that he must. He digged his own grave, he was lead here on a leash by life. It was this or death. Don't look at him with distant, don't let fear cloud your judgements.

Be brave, never afraid. Be direct and always sincere. Be smart and clever but never cautious or cowardly. Be moral but never vendective.

-

Most important of all, the ideal reader would be different to each character based on what they value most. Someone like Aglaya values personal freedom above all and would fall for an independent Reader with their own convictions rather than blindly follow the herd. Someone authentic and brave.

While someone like Alexander Saburov would rather be that person for the reader. Preferring that you're more dependent on him and believe in his notions and principles, having faith in his justice and righteousness. To rely on him to tell you what's right and what's wrong. It's important to only indulge within limit and never stray too far from the path of what's wrong and right.

On the other extreme, Andrey also values freedom but it is his own freedom he cares most about. Your freedom shouldn't challenge his too much nor ask him to change his ways, if you love him then you must love him for who he is because he doesn't plan on changing for anyone. Morals are treated as another cage that suppresses his freedom rather than human decency.

-

My own writing tastes like a gumball to you- I know you meant it as a good thing but ouch. Does my writing really seem childish and overwhelmingly sugary? Ah-

It's not a bad thing, it's just not what I was aiming for either. At least you seem to enjoy it so yeah. I hoped my style would seem more... poetic to you? Sincere?

I'm grateful regardless. I liked the pastry comparison in Yulia's story, however. It fits the vibe I was aiming for.

I hope your day is amazing, do please take care of yourself.

[xx-alice-in-wonderland-xx]

charlie and the chocolate factory ticket winner headcannons!! (Apart from charlie)

(This is from the 2005 movie so their birthdays will be what age I think they were in 2005)

Augustus Gloop:

birthday: August 1st 1990

is German

has a younger sister called Andrea who is 6 years old

his father is a butcher and owns a butchers shop

Comes from a rich family but not as rich as verucas

he rarley eats vegetables

is babied by his mum

his mum does EVERYTHING for him - gets his clothes, cleans his room, wakes him up, gets him food, everything

hates listening to music

is very lazy

loves the colour red

Couldn’t sleep when he got the golden ticket - he was too excited to go to the factory

his mum is called gail and his dad is called otto

is so lazy he’s never hurt himself - yeah he’s grazed his knee as a kid and all that but he’s never sprained his ankle, stretched too hard or broke a bone

After the factory he was stained with chocolate so he has a slight tan now

when he found out Charlie won the factory he was so jealous and mad that he didn’t eat chocolate for a full 2 weeks

has a huge king sized bed

is homeschooled

Veruca Salt:

Birthday: November 2nd 1994

is British but has Swedish, Irish and Scottish heritage

goes on holiday 5 times a year

goes to a private school

teachers pet

only child

her father is in his 60s as her mother is in her late 20s

has seen the queen before

Can horse ride

has a massive bedroom, on-sweet bathroom, walk in closet, study room, eveything

everyone wants to be her friend at school

has a private doctor

her parents are called Ken and Maria

thinks her name is the best

has a pure gold necklace

has pure silver earrings

if she isn’t in the top set lesson at school she gets her dad to complain and move her up to the top set even if she’s dumb lol

was going to be named Kylie but her parents chose Veruca instead

has a personal hairstylist

claims she will never wear makeup when she’s older because she’s ‘perfect looking’

comes from a upper class family

after the factory her parents started saying no to her and she had a huge fit and smashed most things in the house - her parents went back to giving her anything she wants after that

loves the film ‘pretty woman’

never uses slang - always uses complicated words and instead of saying ‘yeah’ she’ll say ‘yes’

Violet Beauregarde:

Birthday - March 3rd 1992

Is American but has Italian heritage

Has a twin sister named Lilla

her parents are divorced - her sister lives with her dad, and she lives with her mom

her mum is a Karen lol

can box

is popular in school

even though she chews gum every single second of every single day she has perfect teeth - people think she has fake teeth

is allowed to swear

Loves nirvana

her mum is called Shona and her dad is called Liam

Is a pure blonde

Her mum tried flirting with mr Wonka to try and increase violets chances of winning

Thought she was gonna win

gets called blueberry girl at school after the factory

after the factory she tried to use makeup and other things to make her not blue but nothing worked

her whole closet is blue/purple

has a pet chinchilla called Gumball

loves the amazing world of gumball

Always has packs of gum on her

likes watching law and order

rarely sees her sister

her and her sister are identical

mike teavee:

Birthday: October 4th 1991

Is American but has Spanish and polish heritage

has 3 older brothers and 2 older sisters called Luca (29), Gary (30), David (22) , Sarah (27) and Tina (25),

his siblings are quite a bit older than him, the one that is the second youngest is 10 years older than him

his Parents had kids in their 20s, then had Mike quite late on

hes the baby of his family and RAGES when they baby him

has a niece who is the same age as him

has atleast one day off of school a week because he wants to play video games and if his parents try to get him to go to school he breaks things

once broke a window with a vase lol

his parents are called Norman and Clara

likes tomb raider, call of duty, watch dogs, hitman, James Bond, GTA, ect

loves heavy metal music

can do a metal scream and it terrifies his parents when he does it

his sleep schedule is he falls asleep at 4am and wakes up at 9am

Loves energy drinks

bites his fingernails when he’s nervous

hates people who call him micheal (his real name)

wants to be a twitch streamer lol

after the factory he found a way to shrink back to his regular size

when he got home from the factory and looked in the mirror he passed out because he thought he looked fresky

thinks Veruca is a brat but she’s pretty lol

has a very short attention span

likes race car driving

hates football

wishes he was born on halloween

has a whole bookshelf full of video games

[icannotreadcursive]

Last Line Game

Taking up the open tag by @non-un-topo because I'm working on about a million things and want to share but have nothing ready to post and this is an excellent excuse!

So y'all get last lines from multiple WIPs.

TriStamp fic:

She whapped him in the face with the pillow. “I kissed you first, bozo!” “Yeah, okay, good point.” Vash took a deep breath. “More than a little thrown for a loop by that, actually.” With a roll of her eyes she leaned down to kiss him again. His fingers found their way back into her hair.

Star Trek fic:

As soon as the shuttles touched down and the hatches opened, the hoard of cadets spilled out like gumballs from broken machine and went running for the waterline, tossing off coverups and kicking up flipflops as they went. Their chaperones followed in a rather more subdued manner.

To Tell the Truth (main Brokeback fic):

Ennis chewed his tongue a moment, shook his head, let out a breath a smoke. “Look….” he said slowly. “I know you an' Jack...had some kind of a spat or something, when you 'n him went fishin' whenever that was, but, far as I've heard from him, two a you got that settled. So, no air left to clear, sure not with me.”

Brokeback poly fic:

Jack grinned, bright and warm, and what was left of the knot [in Ennis's chest] frayed away. “C'mon, then,” Jack said, clapping Ennis on the arm harder than was quite reasonable—but he probably deserved that. “Toss your shit in the back and let's go.”

Midlife Crisis Ranch (the other Bokeback fic):

“I don’t wanna keep doing this thing of going off, couple weeks outa the year, hiding out in the ass end a nowhere. Don’t wanna keep being a stranger in my own damn house, neither. I want a real relationship, Ennis. With a lover I can come home to, who’s there, and I can turn to when I need somebody. And tell you what, I don’t trust you to be that.”

ATLA fic I abandoned years ago but have rebooted:

The shop boy—about Yong-lin’s age, surly, a difficult past emblazoned plainly across his face—turned and frowned, blinking, at the giant pot. He blinked again. “I—don’t know.”

Old Guard "Immortal Weekend Warriors" fic:

“Yo, Padre!” It took a second too long for Nicky to turn to look at Nile walking towards them from up the main aisle.   “Do you have any idea how long it’s been since I’ve been called that?” he asked while Joe wheezed with laughter, one hand on the shelving to keep himself somewhat upright.  “I’m pretty sure the last time was him,” Nicky continued, jerking a thumb at Joe, “and he was making fun of me.  I just had flashbacks to seminary. Cristo.” Nile snickered.  “Sorry about the religious trauma, Booker wants your opinion on some window blinds."

And I think that's everything active at the moment!

By all means, bother me about these stories. Like, please. I'd love to get my brain to latch onto one long enough to get something to a postable point 😅

Tagging: @hotcocoaandstripedsweaters @mediumorange @nerdsandthelike @minncoe and anybody else who feels like participating!

[autisticempathydaemon]

Hiiii!!! this is for the match up thingy :3

im fixated on um. oh god. weight in gold - gallant, literally every hozier song ever and if im being honest - dodie. i really like the backing music and lyrics of all these songs and obviously i cant just choose one :3

ok i have no idea what this means but from highest? to lowest it’s apparently 6, 4, 3, 2, 8, 1, 5, 9 and 7

I ABSOLUTELY DO. i love learning so much,, i dont have a favourite but video games or historic events or horror are my favourite genre :3

i dont remember my childhood friends much but i conjured them up because everyone else had one and i felt left out. purely out of spite. but i loved them lots :3

ok. i sleep on my side with my leg out and switch between that and just on my stomach, suffocating in my pillow. and i never sleep in the silence. like i always have headphones on with music or asmr playing

i changed my name!!! i hated my birthname and the one i chose is much better. it also is the name of my sibling which i knew nothing about so i am basically a psychic

oh god. i reallt like gavins recent studying one annnnd ashers cookies one. and the damn bowling one. im gonna stop before i name 100 of them but i love them because they are so comforting and make me overflow in happiness :3 i love them

sam. sorry.. his videos r so boring to me BUT they make good sleep aids :3

princess and the frog, criminal minds and community. its a problem.

HUXLEY!!! oh my god i need to be his best friend and make him pottery SO bad. need to protect him with my life. oh my god. my beloved.

i talk a LOT about space and dinosaurs and the sea :3 i fucking love learning so i have a lot of lil facts from reading encyclopaedias and watching documentaries :3

oh god it changes every fucking time im in there but recently any flavoured milk and red doritos

amazing world of gumball. and uhh any other kids animation shows. reliving my childhood multiple years later smileyfaceemoji

other important stuff is probably my love language? main one is quality time and also gift giving in the sense that i WILL spend 17 hours straight on something if you merely mention it once. do not tempt me. i am the middle child of 5 but the eldest daughter and basically raised my younger siblings haha somoene help. um my MBTI is ISFP, ihave autism and adhd and have horribly high standards for myself!!! haha c: idk what else to say. i quite literallt am always chewing something and its either something that is definitely not edible and needs to be removed or strawberry gum. i also love fruit. so much. and lovingly bullying people is my love language. AND i apparently exude ‘ginger cat’ energy according to literally everyone i have the pleasure of knowing. so loved.

thank u so much for doing this, this was a mountain of an ask omgim sos sorry bff

You are such a dear- there was so much fun information in your ask for me to work with. Everything you gave me just makes me so sure and brings me such delight to talk about how perfect you would be with David!

One, ginger cat energy combined with big German shepherd energy? Cute as fuck, a match made in heaven. Two, an eldest daughter pairs perfectly with him and his only child/eldest brother in the pack vibes. It’s a lot of responsibility and obligation, I know from personal experience, and being able to chill out with that and just rely on him would be just what you need. Three, David is totally autistic, and we love an A4A couple.

Y’all would generally be just so cute and be exactly what you need in each other’s lives. Type Sixes are characterized as wanting security and support in their lives and relationships, and he heads a security companyyy (/j). Meanwhile you’d bring a joie de vivre and nurturing energy to his home and the pack that would be so appreciated. He’s not the only one who’d love to be around you; it’d be all the Shaws.

Song:

Feeling alive all over again/ As deep as the sky that's under my skin/ "Like being in love, " she says, "For the first time"/ Well, maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right/ Where I belong with you tonight/ Like being in love, to feel for the first time

My favorite David headcanon is that a lot of his music taste comes from rock/grunge music Gabe and Juliet (my hc name for his mom) used to play. That is exactly how I know this song, so I think it’s perfect for him. Plus, David seems like the type of guy where that first love is it. He imprints like a duck, mates for life like a penguin; he has you for his first and only love.

Runner-ups:

Vincent would be a cute runner up because he also has ginger cat energy once he dropped that flirty, Lestat-esque facade, so you’d make a fun, chaotic pair. Elliott, I like because I think you’d like a lot of the same things. He strikes me as the type of guy who would love a good Criminal Minds binge.

note: you’ve got great taste in movies and tv Community is one of my favorite shows 💕 also, thank you for being my fiftieth matchup 💌

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[coffyblak]

your ben art is pretty rad! i really like how you used different designs for him along with your own, it looks cool! do you have any headcanons for him and do you have any fav versions of him?

Awe. Thank you! I really like drawing the little gremlin brat as a tiny cute doll and is good to hear people also like it too!

For a favorite form of mine? I think the Funkin Drowned mod's Ben is the best i've seen. Yes, it's a simple design, but you have to admit it's the most outstanding one out there in the fandom. I don't hate the "Link with bloody eyes" one, but c'mon let's freak-fy my boy right here ok?

I also like the Cannon design very much, really was not expecting it to be a goddamn green haired creep but sign me the fuck up

As for headcannons, i have a few for my Ben design:

The red marks on his hands can actually hurt if commanded, it feels like being electrocuted

They're also how he can hack into games and eletronics

Ben can absorve energy from such eletronics too

he's actually hollow inside his body

Will start melting when feeling strong negative emotions

Never knew how to swim and is definitely has no desire to after everything

Has alektorophobia. that's it. that's the post

He's selective mute and often uses text boxes to communicate

Always has some kind of portable console in hands

The monochrome form is activaded whenever Ben wants to scare players, the black goo that oozes from his mouth smells and acts like gasoline

Little asshole thinks he's so scary when he puts jumpscares and shit in your game

He cannot take off his hat no matter what, it's like the thing is glued to his head

Talking about the hat, the tip can wiggle if Ben is happy enough

It's not uncommom to see him chewing on the hat's tip when he's distracted doing some other thing

Yes, he is 4'9

He is stuck forever on his 12 years since his death

He can switch to his Elegy of Emptiness form at any time

"You have games on your phone :)?"

Mf probably has 1 facial expression

Shortstack will take your credit card info and order weird crap he finds on Ebay

GUMBALL'S VA IS MY HEADCANNON VOICE FOR BEN AND NO ONE WILL TAKE IT FROM ME

[sallertiafabrica]

Warning: Flavored Fae

Tikki ate something spicy.

No Marinettes got injured in this endeavor.

A Félix did.

(Ao3 link)

@felinettenovember day 1: Spice & Sugar

Based on Digit’s post on flavored teeks.

Félix knocked on the back door thrice more, a bit more forcefully than last time, ears strained for any sounds inside. Some footsteps seemed to be approaching, so he straightened his back, a frown tugging at his face at how erratic and rushed they sounded.

Then a yelp sounded out, accompanied by thumps, and… giggles?

Finally, the back door opened a breach and narrowed gray eyes peered out.

Before Félix could greet her, Marinette’s hand shot out and pulled him inside, slamming the door shut behind them as Félix fumbled on his feet and with the paper bag in his hands. Thankfully, nothing fell.

“What–” he started, but Marinette interrupted him again by clutching at his shoulders.

“Félix! We’ve got a problem.”

“PROBLEM?”

Marinette jumped behind Félix’s back. Dazed from all the manhandling, it took a while for his eyes to focus on the red form floating over the kitchenette’s counter.

“I’M THE SOLUTION! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!” The red form whirled back, cackling and sparkling as pink pellets sprang out from its body at deadly speed.

“Tikki?” Félix choked out, shielding his face with an arm as he crouched, reaching behind his back with his free hand for Marinette’s.

He sprinted to the couch, jumping behind it with Marinette to take cover.

He snapped wide eyes to her. “What’s up with Tikki?”

“I don’t know.” Marinette threw hands helplessly, flinching at the crashes and thunks sounding from the kitchen. “We were putting away some groceries, playing ‘what’s this taste’ and then she just–” She gestured widely in Tikki’s direction.

“Uh.” Félix cupped his ears as a bang sounded out. “Did she eat anything weird?”

“Just some fruits! Strawberry, banana, pe-peeerrrrrr.” Marinette turned her face to Félix as she dropped the last syllabus, his heartbeat increasing at every extended ‘r’. “I– I think this was the first time Tikki ate anything spicy.”

Clunk.

“Don’t hide from a creative outburst, Marinette!” Tikki zipped over the couch and to the small living room area, dropping what seemed like paintballs on the carpeted floor. “You’ll lose sight of your best idea this way!”

“I’m losing something, alright,” Marinette grumbled, fingers clenching in front of her face.

Félix threw himself to the floor, paper bag falling onto it, to avoid the new onslaught of painting aimed at the couch’s base.

Tikki dashed over the floor, spinning like a drill to the couch. Fortunately, she didn’t actually drill it. Unfortunately, there was a fresh paint splotch on it.

“Ooooohhh.” Tikki paused her giggling fit to inspect the package Félix dropped. “Are these sugar cookies?”

“TIKKI!” Marinette, who had taken cover behind a vase, bolted to her feet. “SPOTS–!”

“Noooooooo!” Tikki flew to Marinette’s face, zipping around her head after shooting gumballs at her mouth. “We can’t stop the fun now! It’s recreation time!”

Marinette didn’t look the least bit amused.

“Hey, Tikki!” Félix rushed to his paper bag and held out a cookie to her. “Do you want a– AAAARRRRGGGHHH!”

There was a ladybug fae mauling at his fingers before he could finish the sentence.

He turned shakily to Marinette, who was slowly chewing the gum projectile as she stared dumbstruck at his consumed fingers.

“Help,” Félix whimpered as Tikki hang from his hand; and although she looked calmer after ingesting the sugar, her mandibles were no less sharp.

Marinette snapped out of her stupor and spit out the gum, soon appearing by his side. “Uh, Tikki? Could you please–?”

Tikki hummed, glancing at Marinette then at Félix. “Oh.” She opened her mouth and Félix fell on Marinette’s side with a gasp, cradling his hands to his chest. “Hmm–” Tikki leaned back in the air, patting her belly. “–I think you used too much sugar for the icing. Could barely taste the cookie, per se. Try using sprinkles next time.”

“Thanks for the appraisal,” Félix grumbled while Marinette slid a hand around his waist to lead him to the bathroom, mumbling something to herself about disinfectant and bandages.

“You’re welcome!”

Marinette sent Tikki a reproachful glare as she guided Félix into the bathroom. The fae hummed innocently, floating away to glance around the mayhem of her own making.

Gauzes, alcohol, and a handkerchief were thumped on the sink counter together with Marinette’s forehead as she groaned.

“This is gonna be a pain to clean up…” She lifted her head with a sigh, pulling the low bench under the sink with her feet and plopping on it. Félix was already settled on the toilet cover, his unfeeling fingers held forwards. “Least it doesn’t look too bad,” she mumbled, gently taking his injured hand in hers. “Sorry ‘bout your cookies, though. They smelled amazing.”

“It’s fine,” it got out muffled and scratched due to Félix biting down the flinch at Marinette wiping the handkerchief—now damp with alcohol—on his torn fingers. His head dropped on the wall when she lifted the cloth. His lips stretched into a lopsided grin as Marinette picked the gauze. “Having my cookies being used to calm down Tikki was a lot cooler.”

She giggled, tearing off the leftover gauze off his bandaged hand. “Cooler than hanging out with your girlfriend?” She crossed her arms, head whipping away with an exaggerated humph. “How dare you?”

Félix chuckled and, with his intact hand, turned her face to him by her chin. She let out a snort that wafted his lips like the chill autumn breeze—perfect for his spiked heartbeat after the sudden Tikki-attack—and kissed him, one hand raising to clutch at his vest collar.

“Wanna see if Tikki wants to try out other flavors?” he mumbled to her lips.

“Now?” Marinette poked his cheek. “After the mess that a spicy Tikki made, you owe me double the sugar cookies.”

[mothpdf]

here is the issue: starting over feels so fucking good. there is absolutely nothing in the world like the high i get from filling bags with everything i was and deciding not to be them anymore. i am done, i just need a blank slate to build a new house upon. it is, of course madly consumeristic to live this way. not sustainable in the least, because in between starting over one accumulates so much baggage, so much stuff, so many habits, that are simply too heavy to keep, that take up too much space i could otherwise have used for the foundation, maybe a garden here, or a pool over there would have been nice. let me tell you another thing: no one ever taught me how to build. give me a hammer some nails and all the wood in the world and id still freeze to death, sleeping atop a pile of planks. oh i can build LEGOs, sure, and IKEA furniture too; i'm fucking great at following instructions but the second i'm given any freedom the sheer impossibility of perfection gets to me and bam, paralyzed by possibility. sure, i might set up a lean-to and tell myself it's only temporary, only while i figure out how to build but the truth is everything is temporary. nothing ever lasts and it is really kind of my fault. imagine the cheap watermelon flavored gum i asked my dad to buy whenever we went to the movies, the round ones painted to look like watermelons, you know the ones i'm talking about. i would pop one in my mouth once we'd found our seats and before the trailers were over it had turned into an uncomfortably dense flavorless white mass that i felt compelled to keep chewing on. my dad always spoiled me though so he'd get me 5-6 of the little gumballs so eventually i would just switch them out. what was this a metaphor for again? starting over i suppose, popping a new gumball in once the last has lost its flavor, but only ever picking the watermelon flavored ones. another thing about gum: it gives you no sustenance. there are no amino acids, no hydrocarbons your body can metabolize and turn into muscle or skin or fat or bone. (the specific gumballs we just spoke of do have quite a lot of sugar but let me draw the metaphor a little further). you cannot live on watermelon gum alone, but whenever we went to the movies that's what i wanted. i would tell him "dad i have a hunger for chiclete de melancia" and he would buy me some. that sentence makes more sense in portuguese, more sense still if youre a child. i have a hunger, i always have a hunger, a hunger in my head a hunger in my mouth. but i cannot for the life of me remember the last time i was hungry, properly, really hungry, the kind of hungry that makes a big meal the most satisfying thing in the world. starting over! today i will sit down in bed to watch a movie on my laptop and crack open an energy drink with that same watermelon flavor and i'm not chewing anymore but fuck if the taste doesn't fade just as fast.

[freeharmonynightmare]

ROTTMNT x EVER AFTER HIGH

(Incorrect quotes)

Raph: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions Briar?

Briar: No

Cupid: I do!

Raph: I know Cupid

Cupid: I'm sad

Raph: I know Cupid

...

Apple: Questions for guys: part 1, do you like tall girls or short girls?

Leo: Men

...

Cerise: ...

Donnie: *sneezes*

Cerise: *runs away*

April: Nice Donnie!

Donnie: I sneezed! Oh i'm not allowed to sneeze!?

...

Leo: Don't argue with me!

Maddie: But your wrong!

Leo: Don't argue with me!

Maddie: But! Your! Wrong!

Leo: That's why your the slowest in your class!

Maddie: That's why you don't have a girlfriend!

Everyone: .....

Leo: I'm about to end your whole career, You know Santa Claus isn't real right?

Maddie: ....What?...

Leo: Yeah, Right, Excactly

Maddie: What!?

Casey jr: Why would you say that!?

Leo: Nah because she had that coming!

Maddie: Raven! Raven!

Casey jr: Why would you say that!?

Leo: Because she had that coming- No don't call Raven! No!

...

Donnie: Faybelle has 19 bottles of dish soap and she gives Briar-

Mikey: Wait why does Faybelle have so many soaps?

Faybelle: MIND YOUR BUSINESS MIKEY!!!

...

Raven: So i just woke up, and i found this laying on my chest

Sunita: Ew! A dead lizard?

Raven: It's dead now

...

Donnie: About Lizzie...

Raph: Yeah?

Donnie: Look, don't take this the wrong way but...

Mikey: She scares me

Raph: Lizzie scares you?

Briar: She scares everybody!

Lizzie: I AM GONNA KILL HIM!!!

Leo: Uhm...

Raph: What happened?

Lizzie: Leo sat on my new scissors!

Raven: Ok, ok, calm down

Lizzie: I'M NOT GONNA CALM DOWN! THE'RE BENT! THEY'VE LOST THEIR SCISS! *throws scissors*

Everyone: .....

Raph: You kids have fun *Kisses Lizzie's cheek*

Lizzie: *blushes a bit*

...

Briar: Ok if i gave you two cheeseburger's and i gave one of your's to Faybelle how much cheeseburger's would you have then?

Leo: Get your crusty ass hands off my food!

...

Apple: Call it what you will, Fate? Destiny?

Cassandra: A horse?

...

Leo: *shoots ceiling*

Ashlynn: *flinches* This is why Splinter doesn't fucking love you!

Leo: *laughs*

...

Maddie: Raph I think there's a monster under my bed

Raph: Maddie there is no such thing as-

Mrs Cuddles: Just wittle ol' me!

Raph: Ok! We're moving!

...

Farrah: What are you gonna be for Halloween?

Leo: Well i was hoping i could be your boyfriend

Farrah: Aww! Well then i hope that i could be... Dead

...

April: I'm thinking about selling my dog

Briar: Why?

April: I don't know, He's always chewing up my homework and eats my newborns

Briar: That's just a phase

April: Maybe

...

Kraang: *At Raven and Leo* You have 13 seconds before the island fucking explodes you Hot Topic wannabe and you Blue Gumball son of a bitch, You have done nothing but destroy my life i hope you both die

Leo: Hot Topic!?

Raven: No! My secret!

(More coming soon!)

The End, It's just the beggining