#he fucking serves
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
cannot decide if Nio or Throb is going to win. Nio feels like she can take anything and make it her own, fit it to her own specific brand, but that can come at the cost of actually fulfilling the brief, you know? Throb consistently provides something that may be less striking but it’s almost always perfect. You ask for Trash Can Kid, you get Trash Can Kid. You ask for Rockstar, you get Rockstar. You get Hotel Ghoul, you pretty much get Hotel Ghoul. I love them both for such different reasons but I just feel like Nio’s branding and insanely captivating looks might edge her over that winner’s line.
#I love throb’s looks but oooh. nio grabs you by the face and demands you look at her#and you just have to#but still. a couple wobbles from nio and Throb can grab that crown with two hands and remind everyone#he fucking serves#cause he does. I love the kings this season like holy shit#what is with the drag world and hating on kings (misogyny. duh) cause they just. oh my god!!!#when they’re great they’re SPECTACULAR#throb zombie#niohuru x#dragula#this is not about who I like more btw. I’ll admit I have a HUGE bias towards kings#like even if they suck at the brief i’d know I’d be going ‘but they’re a king???? literally gods??? give them all your money NOW’#I am def more likely to go see throb perform. but I just feel like Nio will win? she’s brilliant they both are#you know? I hate trying to explain myself without sounding like I’m dunking on a performer#especially when I love love love them#(in my secret heart I want throb to win. I really really want that.)
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
I watched Starship Troopers tonight.
#personal#dumb#my art#immediately after finishing i was pumped to watch some analysis vids on it#cuz i heard a lot of the drama about the original author being a pro military fascist and the director going “fuck that” and making a satir#scrolling through youtube search results was not promising. lots of male film buffs i would Not trust even on a first glance.#“The Critical Drinker” (pfp of a bearded man drinking alcohol) lol.#and then I saw cinemawins did a video on it and was like oh nice i haven't seen his stuff in a while but he's a pretty leftist creator#scrolled through the comments#second panel face#this sucks i'm outta here.#just leagues and leagues and leagues of anime pfps and right leaning people dogpiling on him for “not understanding what fascism is”#idk it's pretty alien and weird to me watching this movie and going “wow yeah that was pretty obvious huh” like literally the from opening#to the teacher preaching militance and only giving voting rights to “those who serve their nation first and earn it”#and then seeing droves of people online going#WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? It's not anti-fascist and even if it was it's#the director's fault for desecrating heinlein's incredible sci-fi epic vision. ermm media literacy is dead.
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
behind every sandy man is a woman rooting for his downfall
#do ants have integrity#sir crocodile#nico robin#one piece#I fucking LOVED the alabasta arc#crocodile simultaneously one of the stupidest and smartest villains#dude managed to successfully create a coup in a country that couldn’t be successfully avoided#but also he falls for telephone scams#I want to kiss him on the mouth#also NICO ROBIN MY BELOVED#SHES SO BADASS#wife for sure#she’s so dramatic#that entrance on the stairs?#SERVE
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
WITCHMARE WITCHMARE WITCHMARE
ITS OFFICIALLY SPOOKY MONTH WITCHMARE BE UPON YE
close up under the cut :]
#Yall I finished this like a month ago but I HAD to save it for October#it’s Spooky Time™️#also I may revisit this design highkey#it’s pretty simple but I think it has some real potential#also he is fucking serving#Nightmare sans#obligatory art tag#Utmv
786 notes
·
View notes
Text
Genuinely, i dream of a life where a Man treats me as His property. Because as a female i am a Man's property. my purpose is to please Him, cook and clean, and to have His babies. As far as i'm concerned, feminism is delusion. Life is happier when you accept how incredible the Patriarchy is and that rights are for Men, not females.
#men are superior#pro patriarchy#ex feminist#women are inferior#serve the patriarchy#women are property#patriarchy kink#fuck feminism#i want to be bred by a man#and give him as many babies as he wants
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
somplace else....
live a life with no regrets 🙏
#one piece#acesan#portgas d ace#vinsmoke sanji#monkey d. luffy#revolutionary sabo#roronoa zoro#did i regret making this shit? nah#do i still hete muself? fuck yeah i do#Sanji archin it back like the bad bi he is out here serving cnt sista#asl brothers
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
sorting this out before the dlc drops 👍
#war criminal this war criminal that#my sibling in marika it's not that fucking deep we've had likeable characters w 'morally questionable' motives in this franchise before#or is sb going to tell me im suddenly not allowed to like artorias bc he served gwyn or w/e#stfu#elden ring#malenia#radahn
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Life's beauty is like a myriad of flowers, and I want to pluck the one that never wilts.
#hey ruanmei gang its me again. Ya boy#i love. LOVE. overgrown nature themes and seeing her lab with all t he fucking glass TUBES and PLANTS and everything so neat and tidy i#just wanna see it all UNRAVEL bro i want it FUCKED UP#i think abt ruan mei abandoning her creations the things she raised bc they dont serve a purpose for her anymore but the plants keep reachi#g for the sunlight right. so full of life regardless of if they feel or think or speak. just like ruan mei huh.#im running out of space ill talk another time#ruan mei#honkai star rail#honkai star rail fanart#cele draws
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
CENTURY OF LOVE (2024) I 1.04 "Vee is the fox that conceils himself in Ms. Wad's fate. Like the nine-tailed fox that possessed the consort Daji."
#century of love#century of love the series#userrlaura#userrlana#uservix#userspicy#usersasa#userpharawee#userbon#sanvee#san x vee#daouoffroad#daou pittaya#offroad kantapon#bl series#thai bl#this scene was a serve from start to finish#the nails the hair the lighting the tension#offroad's acting was fucking amazing bc i would have folded like a lawn chair#also san literally knows martial arts and yet in his dreams his method of fighting vee off is just closing his eyes#so he doesn't see how attractive he is#my guy i think your subconscious is trying to tell you something so you better start listening#and he was kissing him back too so let's not fucking lie#mywork
527 notes
·
View notes
Text
Believe me, I didn't see it coming, either.
9-1-1 – 8.06: Confessions
#911 abc#cinematv#filmtvcentral#smallscreensource#bucktommy#userabs#userlauren#userthing#dailyflicks#userstream#tvarchive#filmtvtoday#usersource#userblorbo#fyeahtv#😭😭😭#8x06#tommy kinard#if this is the last we see of him at least he not only served c*nt but also fucking ate and left no crumbs with this performance
370 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hey guys did you miss my au!! Did you uh... did... did u miss it... aha 🫦
#this is such a self serving post#listen I just think about this au a lot#saiouma#kagehara#pregame shuichi#pregame kokichi#kagebon#pregame drv3#drv3#danganronpa#danganronpa v3#shuichi saihara#kokichi ouma#me n bae when we are begrudgingly opposites who are exactly alike#no one tell kokichi he n this freak have way too much in common he will FREAK#pregame shuichi but he's not a hashtag hashtag YANDERE🔥 and just a mentally ill teen#kokichi WHO TOOK YOU OFF UR FUCKING MEDS#cinema au
589 notes
·
View notes
Text
You are an escape specialist and understand the lengths the military will go to in order to protect their best assets more than anyone else. That's why you've been rotting in some off grid gulag for 3 years now, long enough that the torture is just to pass the time for the guards now because they know you're not saying shit.
Why are you here? Easy. Intelligence identified this was the most likely place their darling 141 unit would wind up if they were ever captured. You're here as a contingency if that happens. You are sure there are others in prisons and dungeons and mansions dotted over the globe whose sole purpose is as a "just incase" measure for a team that doesn't know you exist.
The day they drag in a man with a mohawk and a nasty looking hole in the head kicking and screaming? Oh you've never been so fucking excited in your life. Time to get the fuck out of here and spend the ridiculous amount of money that has been accumulating in offshore accounts for you since you agreed to this job.
If only the idiot would do as he is bloody well told.
#mhairidrabbles#discovering that Soap actually hates being given orders thank you very much#and he doesn't trust anyone who isn't his team#great just great this will be the most annoying fucking fetch and deliver quest known to man#but you can keep yourself going by every ao often closing your eyes and imagining drinking a cocktail served by your cabana boy on a beach
399 notes
·
View notes
Note
Isn’t Vortex a fucking torture freak tho? 👀👀👀
Yep. He is. He is a lot of things actually. The more you learn about him the more fucked up it gets
#at first I was like#ah yes another crazy helicopter#but then I learned the lore haha#hoo boy#the guy was a criminal and was so good at it#the government had to take his spark out of his body and put it in a freezer so he won't break the law anymore#then Starscream took him out and was like#you and your bros are my minions now#btw I made you unable to recharge on your own so uou are basically my hostages#work for me or starve to death losers#and then also Megatron with his Javascript exercises#Seriously. Megs looked at those criminals who were crazy strong and also crazy smart and decided that enslaving them would be a great idea#He basically reprogrammed Vortex and others. He made him literally unable to disobey his orders#what kind of fucked up thing to do Megsy???#G1 was great ahahahah#silly kids show about war and crimes and slavery#also#I might be wrong here because I haven't watch G1 entirely....but I'm pretty sure Combaticons just fuckin. stay Megatron slaves forever??#Like. The code that Megs put in their heads is never mentioned again? And for the rest of the show they forced to serve the Decepticons???#and everyone just?? Forget about them? I repeat I might be wrong here. It would be great if I'm wrong#also yeah Vortex is a torture freak and totally crazy#I saw a note somewhere that mentioned he likes to transform around other bots and then fly as high as he can and drop them#fucker lol
187 notes
·
View notes
Text
When the 212th collaborates with the 501st, chaos is sure to follow in their footsteps. This has been largely true of every engagement since the start of the war, in Cody’s experience. Had he even an ounce more of a rebellious streak, he might question why and whether the success rate is worth the feral instinct for mayhem his battalion and Rex’ awaken in each other - as it is, he simply fills out the after action reports and then screams into his pillow, which is hard as durasteel and doesn’t warrant the name.
Or, on some days, he steps into the training rooms to work off some nervous jitters only for his foot to catch on someone’s armoured shoulder and faceplant straight into what looks like the entirety of both battalions piled together in a massive cuddle pile.
“What”, he manages between gritted teeth, heaving himself up with one hand supported on Crys’ arm and the other planted in places that make Boil jackknife up with a strangled yelp, “the kriff is this?!”
“We’re watching the Corrie Reality Special, sir”, his own voice calls from somewhere across the room. “The 91st is passing by, so we have satellite access to the Coruscant Broadcast network for a few hours, and we couldn’t settle on a specific show -“
“- so we decided to watch them all”, Rex finishes, sheepishly, where he’s fought his way through wiggling piles, hoots and badly imitated monkey lizard noises. The thought that he shares DNA with these degenerates is enough to drive Cody to the brink of a nervous breakdown some days. “Spopcorn?”
Ah. The Corrie Reality Circuit. When Cody first heard of it, he’d thought it was a prank. Then, they were deployed to the middle of bumkriff nowhere on the edges of Midrim space edging on Outer Rim, with a connection so spotty even classified military intel only got through about half the time, and the whole idea got shelved in favour of clankers and keeping his General’s lightsaber in his General’s hand where it belonged.
Now, a gaudy, glittery monstrosity of a logo announcing a Coruscant Rotational special appears on a rigged up screen, which means one of two things: either Fox is pulling the Galaxy’s greatest long con on all of them, or he’s been murdered and replaced with an evil clone (ha!), because there are no circumstances in which he would agree to star on Coruscant Reality TV.
Cody tilts his head consideringly. Rex smiles at him sheepishly. Tilts the spopcorn bowl at him, invitingly.
“Oh, dank farrik, sit your shebs down!”, someone (Fives, probably) yells out, fed-up…ly.
Cody sits his shebs down.
“Good morning and welcome all of Coruscant to the Great Coruscant Rotational Special: Our Boys in Red Edition!”, a bright red Twi’leki man announces on the screen amidst cheerful jizz music and loud hooting from the training room. “My name is Braham Horton, and I will be your exalted host for this fine, fine late night cycle!”
“And now, gentlebeings of the metropolis, I present to you the images that have driven us all to laughter, joy, and even tears at times over these past few weeks - whodathunkit, that the CSF media project would enthrall a whole Galaxy of viewers and cause the largest recorded peaceful civil protest of all time?!”
“The sorry what now”, says Cody, suddenly thinking back to the urgent meeting General Kenobi was currently in with Generals Windu and Yoda - passing by on the Venator in orbit. “Uhm”, says Rex. Braham Horton, unfazed by the commotion he’s causing lightyears away, chatters on.
“- many hours, so we’ve compiled an introductory little best-of for you, exalted viewers! And what better best of to start off on than the hottest entry of the most explosive bombshell into the villa - please give it up for Commander Thorn and how he stole all of our hearts on Love Island!”
A garish, club-tech jingle Cody has so far only heard buzz through the walls of establishments that generally didn’t allow clones thrums through the training room, followed by what can only be described as the sort of noises spiced up banthas might make. Thorn appears on screen, more oiled up and half-naked than Cody remembers, though just as bleach-blond, hair slightly longer than regulation and smile blindingly perfect.
“I’m Commander Thorn, baseline twenty-four years humanoid - during daytime I might be the scourge of Coruscant’s criminal underworld, but at night I don’t mind playing good cop for you!” He punctuates it woth a sleazy wink and fingerblasters that have Rex honest-to-god gagging, and Cody seeing his life flash before his eyes. If Alpha-17 finds out about this…
Suddenly, Thorn’s smile drops in favour of what might almost be called a scowl on even his handsome face, and the music cuts out. “There, got your soundbyte. Can I go back now? I’m supposed to be on shift.” Indistinct, off-screen chatter and a captioned oopsie… appear in a shower of glitter. Thorn’s face does something complicated. “For HOW MANY MONTHS?!”
Cut to a montage of what Cody can only describe as beaches, oil and abs galore, Braham Horton narrates and extremely close-up shot of what Cody tries very hard not to identify as Thorn’s crotch. His own crotch, in a way. Oh no, that’s weird, stop that train of thought immediately-
“Although our favourite bombshell’s entry into the villa wasn’t without its hitches and hurdles-“, emphasized by a zoom-in on Thorn’s form in a speedo huddled away from a partying crowd of softcore-kriffing contestants on a yacht, “- as well as all know, he would soon find his place in the villa - or places, rather!”
Two crying humanoid women appear on screen, with eyeliner smudges down to their knees. A hoot goes through the room. Cody watches with a sense of impeding doom. “You slept with her after I chose to match up with you instead of Chad?! How could you!”
Thorn, still oiled up with both blasters out for the world to see, winces. “I didn’t me-“
A hysterical gasp, a camera swerve. Three more people stand by the doorway, all clutching their chests with wide eyes. A broad, green Twi’leki man raises a finger to point accusingly. “You were sleeping with them too?! I thought I was the only one!”
“Dear Force”, Cody murmurs, unable to look away from the building speeder wreck on screen. Braham Horton laughs good-naturedly at his misery. “Ah, good times! And who could forget the all-out brawl of the following matching night, where a record number of every single other contestant attempted to physically fight the others for the right to match up with Commander Thorn! Including a somehow returned Chad, who nearly won thanks to the element of surprise. I wish we could show the footage, but then we’d have to slap several warnings on it and probably still get taken off the air.”
“I didn’t know Corries kriffed like that!”, someone (Fives, let’s be honest, it was definitely Fives) calls out into the room, receiving snickers and a well-aimed pillow to the throat for his trouble. He goes down with a choking scream.
“Someone who was less impressed by the hot’n bothered beach weather was Commander Thire, who found himself Less than Impressed by his co-contestants inability to keep it in their pants on Too Hot To Handle!”
Thire’s face, identical to Thorn’s in every way except the ones that matter, appears on screen. His black hair is cut in a cropped mohawk, arms folded over a button-up he’s carefully pieced together with… safety pins? Where are the buttons on it?
“These people are pathological and pathetic and I will spend not a second longer on this farce of an attempt at ‘entertainment show’”, says Thire, air-quotes so sharp they could cut stone. His scowl might be permanently etched into his face, Cody can’t tell. “Unlike literally everyone else, I have an actual job to do. Now move.”
A brief pause, in which cheerful jizz music plays over what is obviously a producer begging off-camera, followed by an eyeroll so hard it hurts Cody’s brain to watch. Thire throws his hands into the air in defeat, marching off into the sea behind him still fully clothed.
“When they didn’t find him until the last episode, I’ll admit, I thought he’d died too!”, Braham Horton cuts in cheerfully. “But would you look at his little lonely island lair - now that’s a fulfilled man, and too many coconuts for my taste! We’ve had to blur his hands out as he discovered the cameras just moments before these holos were taken, unfortunately. And, dear viewer, who could forget this exit-interview for the ages!”
A considerably more clothed Thire appears on screen, eyeing a microphone like he’s about to use it to stab out his own eyes. The reporter clears their throat in audible anxiety. “C-commander, how would you describe your reality experience in one word?”
“Demeaning”, says Thire, blandly.
Silence.
“Um, o-okay”, squeaks the reporter.
“Would you like some more words?”, asks a dead-eyed Thire.
“No, um, I think - I think we’re alright.”
“Because I have many words. Mostly for whoever the *bleep* thought this was a *bleep* good idea, and *bleeeeeeee-*”
“We’ve had to censor most of the Commander’s on-screen appearance, dear viewer, for your sensibilities”, says Braham Horton, eternally and painfully cheerful. “And speaking of sensibilities, who could forget Commander Stone honouring his name in several challenges on ‘I’m A Holostar - Get Me Out Of Here!’”
Soulful violin music fills the gym, overlaid with images of a bald vod Cody surmises must be Stone. Stone stares stonily into the void, glass of bright green something raised to his lips and already half-empty.
“Memorably, he downed a pint of acklay urine within seconds-“
Horrified screams are followed by an image of Stone chewing, yet another thousand-klick stare.
“- or when he ate Tauntaun anus -“
Rex doubles over gagging, and Cody slowly puts his handful of Spopcorn back down.
“- of course the ten minute worm-bath challenge cannot go unmentioned -“
“FORCE PLEASE NO!”, screams someone (Echo) tearfully. Commander Stone, buried to the chin in wiggling orange worms, looks less impressed.
“ - and who could forget his encounter with a horde of ginntho spiders and nests of vexis snakes!”
A remote goes sailing past the screen, missing by a mile, as images of Stone with his whole arm stuck in various boxes fly past. Someone is retching. It might be Cody.
“We would show the infamous butchery challenge wherein the Commander found himself drenched in nexu guts and sandworm brains, but once again, this is family friendly programming and we are not allowed. Nevertheless, a win well-deserved. And now, please welcome the one, the only, the awe-inspiring, the unbelievable: Marshall Commander Fox!”
Another Force-awful jingle, big, blocky letters, and Cody chokes on his own spit when Fox’s scowling face appears on screen. He’s thinner, greyer and angrier than the last time they saw eachother in person. Only the last one is really a surprise.
“I am neither naked nor afraid”, says Fox, arms crossed firmly, foot tapping impatiently on the ground. “I am, however, quickly losing my patience. Explain to me again the point of spending my valuable time undressing in the middle of bum-*bleep* nowhere on the Midrim instead of doing my job as the head of planetary security in the middle of a Galaxy-wide war?”
Several beats of silence follow. Fox grows less impressed with each. Cody knows that look well. Usually, it precedes handcuffs and a cold sonic blast to the face.
“Um… you signed a contract?”, says a producer’s voice uncertainly off-screen. Fox barks out a harsh laugh. “I’m legally classified as military property, my signature holds less weight than if I’d had one of the Guard’s massiffs shit on that contract for me.”
“Ouch!”, calls Crys.
“Gettim!”, adds Longshot.
“But… don’t you sign off military documents all the time for the Senate?”, sputters the producer.
Fox smiles with far to many teeth. It’s also a look Cody knows far too well, and even lightyears away it has a shudder going down his spine.
“Really makes you think about the technicalities of that definitely-not-slave-army, doesn’t it?”, he says, dryly.
“Although considerably less naked and afraid than all other contestants, Commander Fox left us with many memorable moments - such as when he saved the entire crew from an angry Acklay!”
Most of the next holovid is blurred out, though Cody can (unfortunately) guess at the why and how. So can most everyone else, judging by the collective groan.
“Down, boy”, says Fox, flatly, to a hissing Acklay twice his size. It rears its fanged head, and a shudder goes through the room. Fox simply crosses his arms and nails the beast with an unimpressed look. “You are making a fool of both of us. Cut it out.”
Chastised, the Acklay blinks at him, slowly lowering itself back down with a confused hiss.
“No kriffing wonder all the Corrie shinies are such hardasses”, mutters Rex, whom Cody is hard pressed to agree with. “I came from a tube and that look gave me daddy issues.”
“Yes, dear viewer, who could forget these heart-warming moments of good, quality television!”, sighs Braham Horton, dreamily. “Not Coruscant anytime soon, that’s for sure! We are now entering the twentieth rotation of the sit-in protest of a petition to allow the Commanders of the Coruscant Guard to compete on Dancing With The Planets, Coruscant Rotational’s epic dance competition!”
“Dear bum-kriffing Force”, whispers Rex, wide-eyed and awe-struck. “Does Fox know about this?!”
Cody, who’s already dialing the kriffer’s comm-code, wipes a singular tear from his eye. “Not a clue, but kriff, am I going to enjoy telling him.”
#sw tcw fic idea#spopcorn: space popcorn#commander cody#captain rex#commander fox#commander thorn#commander stone#commander thire#inspired by a quality month of quality destressing with quality tv#and the fact that i keep putting off booking therapy probably#corrie guard deserves better#they deserve trash reality tv in fact#braham horton the coruscant rotational host#he has his own chitter show which is the only one padme will agree to go on#she’s a simple woman. let her get sloshed and talk shit fashion and radical leftism your honor#i wanted thire to have more fun but he didn’t wanna#not shown but featured in my head: nuisance on geordie shore grids on love is blind and stabby on come dine with me#they shoot in the corrie mess hall and serve rations bcs that’s the only thing they get#everyone is so horrified by the quality of said rations it kicks off half the protests at least#this is too long and too insane to truly unleash unto yall but have it anyways#no i have no excuse except i am not sleeping and the voices are telling me to write this#somehow this results in palpatine being lynched by an angry mob of reality tv fans#which both results in the galaxy being saved and fox fucking losing it because somehow that’s worse than before#i didn’t proofread any of this as you can very obviously tell
230 notes
·
View notes
Text
i love the idea of sy transmigrating into svsss and being hailed as a seer or some sort of demigod or something. even better if he’s a disciple. he lets one weird thing abt the plot slip, it comes to pass, and suddenly he’s elevated in the sect, yqy is consulting him on major happenings, and sqq becomes fiercely possessive because that’s his head disciple, tyvm. he’s not spectacularly talented in martial arts or swordsmanship, but he’s incredibly skilled with musical and spiritual cultivation
he’s poisoned by without a cure during the demon invasion when elder hammer tries his stupid sneak attack on lbh. after that, lbh becomes his unofficial assistant, because all sy really wants to do is hang out and vibe, but he’s too valuable to the sect to be put on bed rest and somebody’s gotta make sure he takes his meds and doesn’t collapse alone on a mission. and sqq treats sy’s poisoning as lbh’s fault (lbh does too, sadly), so he makes sy lbh’s responsibility
#idk where im going with this#i think it would be cute for lbh to impose a life debt on himself since sy won’t enforce one#what’s the xianxia equivalent of a jjk binding vow#he makes one of those to protect and serve sy until such time as he is recovered from his illness#eventually they grow up and they fuck#and sy is cured#and then lbh makes another vow#but like in a marriage way#svsss au#disciple shen yuan#svsss disciple au#shen shixiong au#svsss life debt au#that’s the tag in case i have more to say abt this
335 notes
·
View notes
Text
Villeneuve talking about "What is he doing in f1?" mf what are you doing in Jeffery Epstein's black book?
#Villeneuve should kill himself actually#not you rancid bitches having a giggle about how he served or whatever thats an alleged nonce you fucking freaks lol#f1#daniel ricciardo#jacques villeneuve
234 notes
·
View notes