#he could get them done I have no doubt
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A photo of the other thing I’ve been working on: crochet market bags! My brother wants to make a bunch to give as christmas presents this year and I needed something very mindless to craft to keep myself sitting still so I can rest and recover from this darn cold, so I’ve been helping with the mesh portions of some of the bags
#crochet wip#I get antsy if I haven’t crafted anything in a while#and oh my gosh I just realized that’s a trait in the sims. huh. what a thing to realize about myself lol#anyway my brother also crochets! he’s making the majority of these#but just like last year he decided to crochet everyone gifts in like. November.#so I’m chipping in to help get them all done in time :P#he could get them done I have no doubt#but this way saves him repetitive motion injuries from crocheting too much#and lets me reinforce the ‘crochet without looking’ muscle memory I have from when it was my primary craft#and gets me to SIT STILL so I don’t iron and cut a whole bunch of fabric and overdo it#which is not what I did today (okay it’s totally what I did today)
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Eyy, King Reaper and his beloved Mage Geno designs <3
#new age au#Geno is very tall (tall Geno supremacy <3) and Reaper usually floats so he's just slightly taller than Geno on any normal day <3#if he unties his robe in the back it drags along the floor at the perfect height to feign being very tall-#ohh I have so many thoughts about them :]#Geno's magic manifests as crystals so he wears some on his outfit (and keeps more in his pockets)#the black and purple ones on his belt are meant to be a little reference to Reaper (and Dust. before meeting him he only has a black one-)#Geno also uses a Cane! he's insanely skilled and powerful but on sone days magic fatigue finally catches up to him and he has to use it#the black half-robe was also the only accessory Reaper could convince Geno to adopt from his kingdom- that and the Sandals haha-#(I like to think Error made Geno's scarf-)#and ofc Reaper...#he's been ruling for so long that he lives in comfort rather than appearance because. i mean. no one is going to doubt him at this point#he leaves his ribcage exposed as a show of his confidence in his rule (direct access to his soul basically-) but also because. well.#he thinks he's eye-candy 🙏#and in his kingdom the crown/sign of royalty are those olive branch circlets#he wears his over his hood usually. Geno recieved one when Reaper officially finished courting him. Dust would eventually get one. though#for him it's more the equivalent of a wedding ring since his loyalty lies with Nightmare still and he has little official ruling power in#Reaper's kingdom.#oh! Reaper also wears a littlr band Geno made him once on his ribs. it's a nice red gem that he's vaguely aware is actually a tracking spel#Geno thought he was being subtle about it. he. in fact. was not. but Reaper let him get away with it 🙏#oh!!! last thing#Geno sometimes wears a nice silk wrap over his bad eye that's a nice clean white. it usually depends if he's doing magic or not#because his eye tends to get melty again if he strains during casting. and he's always overdoing it lmao-#anyways yeah#mm lied one more note#Reaper's wings are optional. kinda like a manifestation of his Ecto in a way since he doesn't need them to float#more just sonething to make him more regal or appear more threatening!#now I'm done#my favorite goofballs <3#spot!drawn#my art
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dumping more of my stancest feels here because i cannot NOT think of them. i read journal 3 for the first time this week and its great because Ford acts like stanley's biggest hater which is pretty fking funny (if not absolutely infuriating at times because omfg stfu you smug prick)
but the moments like this get to me
Ford being blinded by his quest of grandeur, accolades and praise for world changing discoveries, so obsessed with greatness, being the first name people remember, and all the other things his npd-isms tells him he wants.
And then there's "reminds me of camping with my brother. i wonder what he's up to..."
i mentioned in my previous post that stan acts quite a lot like the anchor to ford's boat, keeping him grounded and most importantly, safe from both the bitter and the sweet kinds of evils. but he also represents something so much simpler to ford too: the simple desires he represses so much because its not "good enough" for someone special like him.
he resents stan so much because he represents a "block" against that percieved good enough success he wants, the obstacle that made it impossible to get in a fancy college, become the world renowed researcher, the one who wanted to destroy his journal's and lifes work (even though it was the better, safer option if Bill really WAS that dangerous, which he was) that could still make him famous. because if ford's not "praised and weird" then he's just "weird" and being "weird" was nothing but a pain his whole life that kept him rejected and isolated from the masses. and stan prevented him from that.
(btw "maybe he can prove himself to me" is nasty work my god ford is a douche lmao)
a lot of his projections of something greater comes through with how he treated dipper in the show (his whole spiel in damvtf) and fiddleford in journal 3 where he looks down on the happy life that fiddleford had with his wife and child and saying he was "wasting his talents" making computers. and like, we all know by the way he takes them on high stakes adventures they're not as prepared for compared to him (and end up causing more trouble than not by doing so), he's trying to fill a gaping hole left by someone else. we all know this obviously, we all know what we ship here, but what i came to appreciate the most about it is how much that gaping hole exists in the low stakes
everytime ford is thinking during the "down time" moments, his thoughts always drift back to his childhood, and one person who represents it.
childhood memories, making fun of stans favorite snack, scribbling out a design of the stan o war, whenever Ford lets his mind wander it expresses such an intense yearning for the past before he became obsessed with wanting something more. these are his most utmost and most unfiltered thoughts, which is why he scribles them away or and writes in code. and the fact that he directly says they are about NOT getting married, followed with "wondering what he's doing right now", painting the picture of what his most ideal idylic life is. wanting a return of something lost. wanting Stan back more than anything.
he finally accepts that his dream never really changed, just the same as stan's and so they saild off together for the rest of their days, in ford's own words (which ironically sounds like a marriage to me either way so tough shit ford)
#Stancest#because having ford be like “romance? pfff who needs ROMANCE and SETTLING DOWN when i could be a BIG SHOT”#then writing “wonder what my estranged brother who i refuse to talk to or contact in years and i totally hate rn is doing rn...”#is well#what can i say other than the implications is the implications (highly doubt its on purpose but lmao)#ford writing “(hopefully that hes not doing anything like settling down or anything after i just mentioned that for myself)”#is in the next page hashtag trust me guys#“i prefer the road less traveled anyway” oh my god we get it youre WEIRD omfggg riverdale jughead ass#with repressed incestious desire we get it#jokes and shipping aside i think this is one of the stan twins vs dipper/mabel parallels thats VERY very well done#mabel and stan as their counterparts theter to reality and gets them to stop filtering their fears and desires through other peoples desires#and have them see things clearly for their own#is pretty good
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I ended up having way too many unfinished fics to choose from for Shinsou's birthday, none of which were ao3-ready, so have this extra long snippet of my beloved ice cream shop au that I've spent way too much time on for a fic that might never actually get posted 😭
(the context here is that Shinsou & Kaminari are trying to get erasermic together, but Kaminari didn't know he was trying to set his teacher up with the music store guy bc he's only heard about him from Shinsou)
#long post#liza writes#shinsou hitoshi#kaminari denki#aizawa shouta#this fic is beyond a shadow of a doubt the silliest thing i've ever written#but it got longer than it was supposed to be and then took a weirdly emotional turn#basically like if an antisocial emo teen became way too invested in the failing ice cream shop he worked at for the summer#and the lives of its patrons to distract from other stuff going on in his life#i love this fic okay#i'm just using shinsou's birthday as an excuse to talk about it for the first time it's so silly and self-indulgent#but it's also pretty far on the backburner bc i have the next three fics i want to get done (hopefully) lined up#they just keep getting beefier than intended#shinkami#i'm tagging shinkami bc it could definitely be read as pre-relationship for them#another thing that wasn't intended it just kind of snuck in there#mha fic#q#ice cream shop au
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I keep turning this concept in my head but I can't manage to write it satisfactorily so here I am, setting it out in the wild:
Tim Drake being alerted that Batman INC is something that is in the planning stages of it happening (maybe by Lucius, maybe by Tam, who even knows, look he was CEO for a while and someone is worried about Bruce Wayne about to go public with Batman INC and they get in touch with him) and going to Bruce and refusing to let him do this.
Because Bruce is needed in Gotham and Batman is needed in Gotham, and while Dick is doing a great job and no one will convince Tim of the contrary, that's not Dick's job. It's Bruce's.
(Who also has a son who just got his father back and if anyone knows what it would mean for a son who lost their father to get that father back when you know it's not going to happen... well lets say Tim has Opinions about this [and while he might not get along with Damian all that well yet, they are in that neutral state where Damian is like a cat observing things and studying dynamics and Tim has always been able to work with people he doesn't like or even trust much, so he's not going to punish the kid over whatever's went down between them.])
And besides, let's be real here Bruce, if you want a Batman that can go around the world and pull together teams and make them cohesive and knows what it's needed to be a successful team of young / upcoming young heroes, that's way more Dick than you yourself. Would be preferrable if he was allowed to do it as Nightwing, but the point still stands.
Just ... Tim pow-wowing with Bruce over the whole sitch and convicing him to back down. Not abandon the project, Tim knows that will not happen no matter what Tim does, but trusting it to Dick, who is way better with both younger people and people skills in general than Bruce.
(Which actually is not meant to separate Damian from Dick, Dick can come in from one assignment to the next and check on Damian and this is not the time it was when Tim was growing up, they have communications all over the globe now, Dick can phonecall and videocall Damian as many times as he wants and check on him as often as he wishes, but if Batman INC is happening, and it will happen because Bruce has decided it will, then Tim can only do damage control over this)
And possibly Bruce leveraging Tim staying in Gotham (which, joke's on Bruce, Tim was going to do that anyway, but sure he'll "concede") and possibly "asking" (ordering, let's be real here) Tim to help train Damian (which Tim isn't enthusiastic about but fine, he'll make it work as long as Bruce has his back), for multiple reasons.
A bit because Bruce sort of feels guilty that Tim was kicked out of the Robin role (Bruce HAD promised it would be Tim's until Tim decided otherwise, [which I don't think Dick knew about and even if he had, the situation still had been what it was, to be fair to Dick]) but also Bruce doesn't quite know what to do with Damian (and it wouldn't be the first time he's trusted Tim to teach young heroes / guide someone in a vigilante role) and also he both wants Tim to be there with him (he's missed him) and needs him there with himself (Tim the emotional regulation parentified wonder!).
And then shenanigans from there.
#dc comics#my plotbunny#plotbunnies released in the wild#mostly what I keep chewing on is Tim coming in and being like We Need To Talk Bruce#notice that I made no mention of Damian and anything school related#because I doubt TIM would think of it#he'd just assume that Bruce would think about it subconsciously and not worry about it himself because it's a parental duty#and Tim is not Damian's parent PLUS Tim dropped out of school himself and doesn't want to think of school if he can avoid it#let's be real here#tim drake#bruce wayne#I do not think Damian would know or realize that Tim is the one behind the suggestion that Dick take lead on Batman INC#because I do not think Bruce would present it as Tim's idea but rather just as “I have decided to do it this way so it will be done”#and Tim would have no need to let it be known that it came from him so he would just be checking his grapples / working on a case in the bg#and happily let Bruce with the fallout of delivering the news and handling the reactions to them#this would also allow Dick time to R&R / open a window for the Titans to come see him -> realize the state Dick's in -> start hounding him#enter Donna#enter the other Titans#and then Damian gets to know his father and possibly go to school and learn things and see how things actually are when Bruce is there#and Tim gets to touch bases back in Gotham and re-establish himself and we can reintroduce Tim's civilian cast#and Tim establishing an identity for himself that is still Partner To Batman without necessarily being Robin#I wish I could write this out as a fic but my brain is NOT cooperating#for fuck's sake brain
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Wow. Honestly, dick move to make Margaret be the one to tell her mother about this.
#north and south weekly#asking her to be there with him as moral support i could see#but putting it all on her? not cool#also not quite sure i'm getting the nature of his doubts.#he still is religious so not a crisis of faith. he still loves the church so it isn't the institution he disagrees with.#it seems he feels personally unworthy - but why exactly? has he done some particular misdeed or is this a more general thing?#margaret not arguing back could be her seeing he wouldn't listen to it or could point to her knowing why he feels that way... but i don't#gratifying that i was right (out of my two theories) about them having to leave their home though!
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rating some rezero ships by um. how good they could cover up murder together
(feel free to read my tags for some explanations T^T)
#rezero#um. given the Various Moral Codes of these characters i figured this would be interesting to give my shot at..... and YES garf shaula and#cecilus are too fucking obvious HAH#not otto being in every single Success tier... except for the selling each other out / revenge one. yeah. yeah hes a bitch alright.#ok but i put rein/emilia there bc... ok i know their energy kinda similar to reinjulius but like i put rein/emilia there bc i feel like#theyd be like OH GOD OH GOD WE JUST DID THAT ON ACCIDENT OH MY GOD IF THIS GETS OUT THISLL BE BAD FOR ALL OUR LOVED ONES like theyd be#panicking and shit#while reinjuli would be like hahaha i am SO NOT OK but we gotta take accountability :(((((#ottosuba is like. literally not even a question that theyre all the way up there. theyd like pull similar shit to sunny and basil from omori#like theyd try to take their secret to the grave and theyd never be functional with each other ever again and then theyd go insane over what#theyve done. either that or theyd just murder some totally evil guy with basically next to zero regrets. otto was already the getaway driver#while subaru was killing petelgeuse in the back LMAO#i feel like with felix itd be like. if theres NO OTHER CHOICE hes gonna whip up reinhard and julius into shape and get them to actually do#it. we saw how he was when subaru was possessed by petelgeuse T^T#emilia rem are put that low bc i feel like theyd have no braincells to use to get out of this and of Course emilias freaking the fuck out so#i feel like whenever otto is paired with someone who has like More doubts and guilt and Panic about it otto would be like GET YOUR SHIT#TOGETHER WE HAVE TO DO THIS. which i feel is also what ram does with certain pairs.#damn... now i want fic where some random pair is trying to cover up murder for whatever reason...#i nearly put garf mimi higher up bc i feel like mimi Could and Perhaps Has gotten away with murder before already. but garf would be TOO#OBVIOUS....#rip mimi. ur a queen for being such a gaslight gatekeep girlboss.
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Guess which bitch now has room on its phone for instagram for the first time in like 3 years. This is only good bc now we can post art there again.
Not that instagram is nice to artists or anything. Just that our art tumblr is so very tiny and unused. Gonna probably have to clear it out somewhat when I finally get around to posting art.
#thank fuck for our silm special interest tho#we can finally get like traction on posts#which'll mean that when our fibro flare-up finally dies down (lmao it'll be ages bc our dad is Stressing The Fuck Outta Us)#we can get commissions done again#and through those. well.#money both for clothes to make us comfortable#(which will also last for years & be the right kinda clothing for when we move overseas)#and also for savings for WHEN we move overseas#like our grandma is nice & all &'ll probably help pay for us getting housing or whatever#but i dont want to have to Rely on her inheritance from her aunt(?)#and disability benifits are dodgy at best. and we'll have to survive somehow *before* we get them through#and i kinda dont want to have to rely on the generosity of an old school friend's mum. or a 10th cousin 4 times removed (or whatever)#who might well be dead before we move to ireland#bc he's like 95 rn#and idk if he'd even let us stay at his (scarily enormous) house At All#also. idk if we'd have the money without some kinda work to get HRT when we move out. dont wanna have to be reliant on parents or the gov.#for our HRT. i doubt we could get public healthcare to cover it. not immediately at least.#and i kinda dont want to have to go back on birth control. cause progesterone or w/ever its called has feminising effects iirc#and we're not sure if we want a hysterectomy yet. so.#it'd be a choice between periods (hell) and HRT (expensive)#fuck i hate being disabled sometimes#like actually if anyone calls chronically fatigued ppl “lazy”. i fucking WISH i was lazy.#like bitch please this flare-up is making it so that NONE of my meds get rid of the pain anywhere NEAR fully#and im low-key on the Good Shit™#also so annoyed that ireland hasnt legalised weed. bc. we're almost certainly gonna be doing it for pain#and getting an *illegal* product is so much more difficult#lmao i worked out commas#—Roquén#my fingies hurt so much rn lmao#anyway gonna go draw my source drowning in blood & despair. then im gonna work out what the fuck kinda pigments caranthir would use
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There's honestly... just so many people, just so so so so so many people in this world where I'm like... aren't you people tired of this fucking... you know, I was going to call them clowns but that's really disrespectful to clowns, these people could never get their face on an egg...
Anyway, aren't you tired of this childish jackass? Don't you just want to ignore them and never have to hear about them again? If we just ignored them they legitimately would go away... don't you want that?
And this applies to... just ungodly amounts of people, from jake paul to even elon musk (just... don't touch his shit, he'll run out of money eventually with how bad he is with it), to just... name an annoying famous person and you'll name someone I've literally forgotten right now that I could never have to hear about again if people would just ignore them (unless they committed crimes, investigators are welcome to pay attention while gathering a case)
Yet the answer's always "no, we're paying so much attention to them!" and I'm just like... why? Why would you watch jake paul box? I heard about that and was like "he's still doing that shit?", and yet I guess it made a lot of money yet again and it's just like... ignore him
These people could go away, and yet
#to be blunt this is also very very very much about trump#the best part of all if he'd lost is how I'd never have had to see or hear about his loser ass again#and you people couldn't even manage that (collective you; not you personally... unless you're Pennsylvanian basically)#like he's insufferable... unless you're a die hard fan of him you know he's just stupid and annoying#why would you want to hear a washed up reality star for four more fucking years?#we could ignore these people hard enough to make them go away#and yet I'll be stuck having to hear him say shit about Hannibal or whatever for four more years cause you couldn't do that#I'm so sick of it; I honestly am#jake paul could have been ignored into obscurity like a decade ago; and yet he's able to launch a scam with mr beast#like dear god... can't you people find something better to do than watch these people? ...like watch paint dry?#it's not just people; it's every live action disney remake; it's... it's just all of it... fucking ai#can't you people fucking ignore it? can't you just kinda boo when it shows up and then forget about it?#I get someone like elon is a toddler that needs an eye kept on him to make sure he's not breaking shit but like...#we could just not buy his cars... which... like... doesn't seem like a hard ask given how badly they're manufactured#again... weirdos on tumblr; I'm doubting you're to blame for most of this#but just like... could we just for the love of god let the stupid shit die out you losers?#I'm not even... I'm not even joking here; this isn't like a goof; this is a prescription#nfts die if literally everyone ignores them; live action remakes die if no one watches them; elon goes bankrupt if no one buys from him#(also gets really sad because he's a massive attention seeker; and that's pretty funny so bonus)#why do I still have to hear about jake paul other than like... 'he's been arrested for fraud' or something reasonable?#could have been done with him years ago... like maybe if you kept around one or two bad habits but... like the lootboxes couldn't go?#tune in; turn on; drop out... this part here; I'm asking you to do the drop out part#drop out of society and stop playing their bullshit games#pay attention; be engaged with the world and your community as best you can; and just stop... stop giving this shit oxygen#but again... if this isn't hitting the void it's probably hitting the choir... you're not an oaf on twitter sucking this stuff up#but fuck me... worry over tariffs and other shit aside; concrete quantifiable worries I can lay out I might add#for the people who act like it's just sky is falling mentality; nah... I can expressly say what and why I worry about come january#but all that aside... you couldn't have voted against him just... just to never hear his annoying ass again?#not saying harris would have been good or bad or anything else... I'm saying she would have been a fuck of a lot less annoying#and like... you gave elon a win too... the two most annoying people on the planet and ya couldn't just... not
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re: senseific, i don't remember if you've talked about it, but i was a little bit surprised that it was sawa who suggested kitakata as an advisor for amasawa. yeah it's been 13 years, and in the game their relationship is not particularly hostile, but i still wait from her the "fuck that guy" attitude towards him xD speaking of (and this, of course it doubtly would be The Theme, but will you talk about their relationship or just mention that stuff happened and they got over it? or not at all?
you all know the drill ↓
Considering the outcome of the Kusumoto situation in sensei au, I don’t think her feelings towards him would be so negative. He mishandled the situation at first, sure, but he realised it was serious, and I think he did everything he could to make things right. Of course, effort alone isn’t enough to make up for all the awful things that already happened because of him, but it must count for something, right? Kitakata was willing to admit he was wrong, presumably apologised, took responsibility, put in the work. I think Sawa sees that. That he’s flawed but ultimately sincere and trying.
Her impression of Kitakata isn’t wholly positive – she’s levelheaded and sees his flaws very clearly, especially now as his colleague (he’s prone to mess and disorganisation, and I see him as being kind of lazy and inconsiderate at times in his day to day). He perhaps doesn’t deserve her respect, and Sawa is definitely the better teacher, but I think her presence helps hold Kitakata to account. She expects quite a bit of him, and Kitakata knows this, wants to be the person that she expects him to be. Kitakata’s wish to change and do better is sincere, but I think he might slip back into old habits if he wasn’t diligent, and Sawa’s presence helps.
She certainly expects Kitakata to at least hear a student out when they go to speak to him, and she’s known him long enough to notice him with a mystery novel or two. Why not ask him to help the mrc? ...well, I dunno. I’m not married to the idea. But that’s the train of thought.
I don’t know how in depth I’ll go with those two, mostly because I’m approaching the Sawa-Kitakata relationship from the angle of Yagami seeing that there’s something going on there, but not knowing exactly what. So for the most part, it’s not going to be something that’s spoken about outright. But their relationship is interesting and I think it speaks especially to Kitakata’s personal motivations and shortcomings in a way that can’t be done any other way.
#jitxt#kitakata sensei#i say this about everything but. damn i gotta write more of them#they're certainly not friends but i think sawa extends trust to kitakata on the things that matter#yeah he's an annoying colleague but if something really matters then he will do what he can to get it done#so their relationship is not so negative imo. at least in this au#excuse all the “i think”s. me when i'm nervous about having an opinion on anything in public#this is all sensei au specific anyway so whatever but#the imposter syndrome man. makes me nervous#and god forbid i'm speaking to one of the greatest kuwagami minds at the same time#reread part of the everchanging a few days ago and remembered how good it was. just fyi#i wasn't built for writing long fic (stares into the distance) but here i am....#gotta push through the doubt and believe in my love of kuwagami#but yeah. something about maturity/immaturity that i could probably pull on here#i'm still not sure how that throughline is going to play out#the contrast between the well put together (mature) sawa and the experienced but sometimes fumbling (immature-ish) kitakata#even though of course. sawa is the younger one. idk i think there's something there
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not looking forward to potentially working 12-15 days in a row at my supposedly part time job
#the guy who works closing is on holiday#and the girl who was going to cover most of his shift's husband died right as he left#and there aren't enough staff with two gone to cover them all without me so I'm helping with that#and a bit before he gets back one of the cake decorators is going on holiday#and just as all this is happening the other decorator who always calls in sick and hardly gets anything done during the week#and doesn't seem to get why everyone is always mad at her finally quit#so I'm the only decorator for a while and the new girl is NOWHERE NEAR being able to handle a shift alone yet#tbh I'd kinda been secretly wishing she would quit for a long time now but could ya have picked a better time 😑#I don't wanna think it's malicious but I've been told she doesn't like me and I don't doubt it with how all her sick days conveniently#landed on days where I'd be the only one who could cover or I'd be forced to work alone on a weekend
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#there is a wide margin of interpretation you can take with Armand and I'd like ppl to understand that.#We just quite actually do not have all accurate or full information on him but what we have is enough to prove#he is capable and culpable of all the things he is shown and proven to have done#I think a lot of the writing this season also was intentionally meant to confuse and make you doubt what is happening there. like actually#where do the lies start?#Now are all of them equally valid? Absolutely not. But I'm not like going to judge heavily people who have a different one.#A lot of bad ones (poorly backed) I get where that conclusion gets drawn from and for me it's just kind of fun to theorize those things#People claiming it as the right interpretation are a little like... okay chill out. But I think there can be room for that.#That is unless your ideas somehow vindicate or paint him as somehow also a victim of Louis like wtf are you doing at that point don't defen#him the dude is a massive piece of shit let him be a piece of shit.#It also doesn't make much sense to make him some great mastermind or somehow winning over something he's clearly shown not wanting?#its easier for me to see him as someone who doesn't have very fixed intentions or judgements on anything#his moral compass is self serving even when those morals are aligned to good things or a desire to be good#like he can see something as bad even undesirable and still do it if it serves some larger or more stable benefit to him#with little regard for who gets hurt in the process and with low empathy to see they could be hurt by it#And thats the most consistent thing about him is he falls to whatever is most beneficial w/o regard to others even when regarding them#& those good things r performative even if he's not intending it to be when it aids in exploiting other peoples view of him to an advantage#Or like when he goes about hiding under that persona to meet bad ends intentionally. (These go back and forth)#and something something the purpose of a system is what is does#there's little point in getting into the intentions of Armand when he consistently fails to do what he's claiming be#Idk tho honestly might not post iwtv stuff for a while I'm tired#There's a an amount of interpretation you can take about any other character too just there is so much more speculation there than elsewher
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the implication that billys mom left him.... to go be with another man....
i have no words actually im just fully ready to throw hands with this woman lmfao
also AGAIN I SAY if billy ever gets cheated on oh my god.... thats gonna fuck him up so bad like the betrayal... the hurt... the reminder of what his mother did to him ???? again i say he would be justified in killing
#like neil brought up whatever guy he had questions about in front of billy#now... one could argue he was just a friend. neil couldve been paranoid. i wont rule that out#but like the fact billys mom just up and left and had some place to go so soon???#thats convenient.....#and the amount of times women have done this to their kids. choosing men over them. like.... that is also not an unrealistic scenario#and could add on to why she didnt take billy#cuz if neil brought up her infidelity in a divorce like i doubt its gonna go in her favor so#like theres layers i get it#but also... die
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#i truely have so much anger built up inside me about my job. ive done a very good job of making it unbearable#and after taking a 10 day vacation. plus 2 days of not working bc im sick. i really dont wanna go back#i was planning to take 3 days to not do fucking anything but my boss just emailed me with some time sensitive#logistical things. so like i guess i gotta fucking do that tomorrow. i started reading the email and it made my head hurt#and she started it off like. hopw ur feeling better and i dont wanna cause stress but...#like bro. listen. if u tell me these things u put them in my head and i csnt stop thinking abt them until theyre done. and its not her#fault bc im the one that put myself in a place where im barely keeping it together. its just frustrating#bc it feels like hope u feel better but also kill urseld 💖 but again thats just how it feels bc im so. idk how to describe it im like in a#state of post burnout. im sitting in the ash. alone in a desolate landscape and its like jesus how tf do i fix this?#and i cant even run out my anger rn bc im sick. and i mean i have the energy to run i dont feel lethargic but like i doubt that would aid#recovery lol. ugh. 2 months. thats all. then i move away. assuming i find a place to live lol. bc i currently haven't yet#but whatever. assuming i get better quickly and dont get worse and dont get covid on top of this cold bc my dad got covid#it will have been a bit of a blessing i came back sick bc i have a clear justification for not working and for telling people to fuck off#when they ask for things from me. like today a lab mate asked if i could sample Monday. which it technically#a holiday but i probably would have said yes if i wasnt sick. and i would have had to teach undergrads some bullshit friday if i wasnt sick#instead i just did nothing all day bc i almost moved bsck my flight and didnt leave home until the weekend anyway#i guess its good i didnt bc then i would have been stuck in ohio bc my dad found out he had covid yesterday#idk its all just frustrating bc im halfway in a transition and im not doing very well but i cant do anything to fix things until i leave#the southwest. like i dont even kno if i have health insurance rn. my benifits change request was processed but like does thst mean it was#approproved? fucking idk. so everytime i do anything i imagine a worstcase scenario where i end up hospitalized and damned to an empty#bank account or eternal medical debt. tho my mum said they passed a law where they arnt allowed to do thst to u anymore 🤷♂️#whatever. im annoyed. i dont wanna work 😫#unrelated
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When we were kids, we didn't have access to cool power tools. Every summer, when the soapbox derby race was coming, we'd break into my neighbour's garage while he was at work. Then, we'd use his drill press, lathe, table saw, all the fun tools. Over the course of a week, a race car was produced, which is more than the workshop ever made during the rest of the year.
Sure, we could have asked him if we could have borrowed his tools, but no doubt he would want to be there to supervise. And then he'd want to help. We'd never get done while we were busy indulging the suburb-tinged fantasies of someone who didn't take wood shop and chose instead to idly worship at the altar of Television Presents: The Fantasy of Bob Vila in adulthood.
One year, Old Man Garrett got a security system. Probably this was because Ted (fucking Ted) didn't clean up the sawdust that one time like we asked him to. The old man must have seen the footprint, and realized that he did not wear size-seven Nikes. Child thieves, casing his precious table saw! Now, our humble breaking-and-entering had become significantly more difficult than "reach a coat hanger under the door and pull the emergency release."
With the help of some of the high-school kids who were taking electronics class, we managed to defeat the security system. We did so using an ancient Japanese technique known as "distract Old Man Garrett while he's setting it, and then cut the wires to the panel." I think it loses something in translation, but you get the gist of it. That year's car was especially sweet.
In adulthood, I got drunk and bragged to some work buddies about our little scam. They responded in abject horror, because I was still occupying the weird hump in the middle of a normal distribution of "acceptable crimes." It was terrifying to them to see one of their own, one of the suburbanites, speak openly about largely-harmless property crimes. What if we had been hurt, they shrieked. Around the water cooler, I would become a pariah, unless I could make amends.
I did hunt down Old Man Garrett after that, still feeling the sting of rejection. He was still on the property, and he still had a beautiful collection of immaculate cabinet-making tools in the garage. I rang his doorbell and, when he answered, I told him the whole story. He laughed.
"I knew it was you dumb shits from the beginning," he bragged. "Fucking Ted -"
"Fucking Ted," I echoed, unconsciously.
"Fucking Ted left his library book on building race cars behind on the workbench that first year. You didn't let him drive, did you?"
I shook my head. "We ran the car into him if the hockey-stick brakes ever failed."
We had a good laugh about the whole thing that evening, and I returned to work with my soul cleansed. It's just a pity Ted didn't know how bad he actually was at crime, before he tried to knock over that liquor store and all.
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Observing Adam
Where I go way too deep into something that probably isn't that deep. It's long, it's long as hell.
Okay, so you'd think with how Adam talks he's just a typical misogynist, right?
This man worships pussy. So much so, he's named a whole ass angel, one of his best, Vagina. You'd say that he objectifies them and thinks of them as being lesser, but I don't think that's the whole story. In fact, I think he might be the original simp.
All of these exorcists so far have been women. All of them. He refers to them as ladies or bitches interchangeably, he sees them as being completely capable of absolutely decimating leagues of some of the most vile beings who have ever existed, and they have, to the point it was only after thousands of years that there's been a risk to this hierarchy.
He's a self-centered, egotistical, loud-mouthed, arrogant asshole, no doubt about it, but I'm beginning to suspect something now.
If Adam and Lilith were created from the same dust, if they were created as equals, I am more than willing to bet... Lilith is also a self-centered, egotistical, arrogant asshole. But, she's likely far more intelligent, composed, and duplicitous.
Lilith was allowed to refuse Adam and leave of her own free will and garnered her own independence. A new wife was created for Adam, she was replaced. My guess, is she thought Adam wouldn't be able to live without her, to come back and find herself replaced entirely, she was enraged.
I believe both Adam and Lilith were both incredibly dominant individuals who fought over ideas, thoughts, and ultimately in the bedroom as well, if we take into account the creationist stories.
I'm willing to bet she likely manipulated Lucifer into twisting humanity against its original concept. What if Lucifer's intention truly was to just spark something within Eve, like independence and thought and creation, but it was Lilith's poison within the fruit that tainted her, then subsequently Adam, with sin.
Lilith thrived in hell, while Lucifer's dreams of creation were dashed. She didn't suffer as he did, instead the power of her voice grew with hell. Her voice grew so powerful that heaven found it to be a threat, her actions instigated the beginning of exterminations.
Charlie said that when she was a little girl, she didn't know Lucifer at all. I don't think this was because of Lucifer, he's seen here, picking her up, inviting her to share in his thoughts and dreams, showing her something wonderful. Something she could see within herself.
Charlie says that it's this moment that sparked her will to fight for her dreams. Which is strange, because at the very beginning of the story, Charlie says it was her mother's dream that was passed down to her.
Lilith took Charlie away. In this scene, Lucifer wasn't done showing Charlie his thoughts and dreams, he's still yearning to show his daughter these things at this point.
Lucifer loves his daughter. He loves Charlie so, so, so much. So why wasn't he allowed to build a relationship with his daughter for the longest time? He was waiting for the opportunity to get to know her, but with how much he adores her why didn't he do it sooner? He didn't comment on 'It took you a while-' he just said he missed her smile. They don't want to be pulled apart, again.
Now, we know Vivziepop has said that Lucifer and Lilith love each other, but Lilith 'wears the pants' in the relationship. We see all of the pictures all over the walls of a supposedly happy family. I don't think the relationship was as loving as originally portrayed and Lilith is a woman who desires control above all else. She likely tried to mitigate what influence Lucifer had over their daughter when she thought his angelic thoughts and behaviors became more than what she approved of.
Lets take it back to Adam and Lute for a moment. Again, Adam is a loud mouthed idiot, he's a jerk. The moment he realizes there are demons in heaven, he's ready to go on the attack. It's only because of Lute that he didn't end up doing something absolutely idiotic.
I gotta say, Lute and Adam's relationship is an absolutely fascinating one. He's a disrespectful dick head in how he talks, but how he acts is a different story. He allows Lute to man-handle him. He does listen to her, even if he's a whiny bitch about it.
Look at him, this is the face of a man listening, a dumb one, but a dude listening all the same. He doesn't manhandle her back, he doesn't even pull away until she lets go of his collar. Of all the shit he complained about, between being grabbed and being told what to do, his biggest complaint is that she's telling him to shush.
We know that Adam is the one who suggested the exterminations to begin with, so Sera says, and this was because of the power that Lilith was amassing. To him, Lilith is a threat. Even when he was willing to move on, to go to another wife when Lilith didn't want him or want to submit to him (fair babe, he's a bit of an idiot), she came back with an angel and proceeded to manipulate his new wife Eve. This is the supposed progenitor of man-kind, the original dick (hilariously enough), the reason civilization even exists at all. He and Eve had to fight for their lives after being tempted with the fruit. They had immortality, they had no ideas of shame, they were supposedly 'innocent' creatures before Lilith and Lucifer came along. He and Eve had to fight tooth and nail to survive after being cast from Eden. I think it shows in how willing and ready he is to take lead and do what he believes needs to be done, now out of a need for entertainment rather than a need to defend or protect. But, he still stopped to listen to Lute's advice. In the mythological story of Adam and Eve, Adam is the one who has to tell Eve that god said don't eat the fruit. Eve never heard god speak to her, so she was vulnerable to the snake's manipulations. She will now die because she ate it, and because she did not want Adam to take another wife, convinced him to eat it unknowingly. Funnily enough, Adam tried to explain to god that 'she lied to me and gave me the fruit' and in this actual mythology, Adam was punished for listening to his wife. Even without mentioning Lilith in the original mythology, Eve didn't want Adam to take another wife, so when we consider it within the context of Hazbin Hotel, it may be likely that's how it went down. Eve knew of Lilith, knew that she could be replaced, and decided that she would take Adam with her.
I believe that Adam does and did rely on the women in his life to help him with direction. I think Adam knows he can be an idiot and is willing to listen, even if he doesn't agree with what he's hearing. He did listen to Charlie in the beginning, he just didn't believe in her, like everyone else and he, out of anyone there, probably had the most reason not to. Cain and Abel were his and Eve's sons, his own child became the first murderer. Out of jealousy, the same kind of jealousy that no doubt has caused Lilith to act how she did. Adam isn't going to have empathy for sinners. His family, his legacy, were filled with the original sinners. He probably had to kill his son Cain in hell during the first exterminations. What do you think he would have had to feel, if it came to be a fact that sinners could be redeemed? That maybe his son, could've been redeemed? Or any of his progeny for that matter? How did it feel when his sons, his progeny, weren't given the same mercy as the Hellborn that Lucifer managed to keep protected through some deal with the angels or god? Not to mention that Charlie could've been his daughter. Charlie is the product of the people who completely and totally destroyed the paradise he'd been born into. She's the daughter who is protected and immune from the slaughter while all of his sons and daughters are judged and killed. I believe, even though he was a dickish prankster to Charlie, he was surprisingly patient and even somewhat amicable, willing to even ask her how her weekend was like he was just trying to get to know her.
Adam could just see all of the angels under his employ as being disposable. He doesn't have to name them, or think about them in any individual fashion. But, he knows Vaggie, recognized her instantly. Thought she was badass. Lute's the one who saw her, tore her wings off, and walked away. I'm surprised they even let her live, because this just goes against everything they're doing. They're an army and they saw one of their own showing empathy to the enemy.
Look at this dumb ass. He's being a shit-head, a dick, a bastard. But, he admires Vaggie's ability to pull Charlie, congratulates her, this dude isn't even judging her for being a lesbian. I don't think it's because he objectifies women, this dude loves women, he just does. He respects fellow vagina lovers. I don't think he respects liars in the slightest though. He's being underhanded, he's trying to be manipulative (he's not very good at it). I think he's brutally open and honest about everything and that's probably one of the reasons he's such a bastard anyways, because sometimes you just need to shut-up and he's not good at that.
I don't think he respects Sera for that either, he's more than willing to let others know what the hell he's doing, but under Sera's lead, he can't be open about it. I don't think it's his jam to act this way, it's why he sucks so bad at it and I think that's why Lilith is so antithetical to him. I also think that's why he's possibly even being manipulated.
It's kind of crazy that Adam is the only one who tries to come up with what allows someone to get into heaven. So here's his list: 1. Act Selfless: Maybe at one point he was! He had to have been, to be one of the progenitors of mankind, he would have had to work, sacrifice, and give to his wife and children for them all to survive. Eve would have had to do the same, no doubt. He may not seem selfless, due to his raunchy behavior, but he's served heaven since he's been there. He's served humanity in some kind of facet. 2. Don't Steal: Considering the only other humans are his spawn, he likely had to try and get them to not steal from one another for them all to have an equal opportunity of survival. He and Eve likely both knew they would need to work together to survive.
3. Stick it to the man: This, however, is interesting. Who is 'The Man' he speaks of? God? The only other people over him or were equal to him were women. He speaks like a rocker, and I think in this case he's using the term 'The Man' in a gender neutral way. I think he allowed some amount of Authority to Lilith when they were supposed to be seen as equals, it comes so naturally to him as a character when it comes to the other women he's been interacting with. I think she is the 'man' that he's been sticking it to- Pun somewhat intended. ((This third one may also simply be a tongue in cheek reference to when Alex Brightman played Dewey in School of Rock on Broadway! Thank you to the user who brought this to my attention!))
Adam is a bit of a hypocrite, isn't he? He likes to fuck, he's made that abundantly clear. Full of lust you could say. It was his original purpose after all, and he is judging Angel Dust for something he probably would've done himself at one point or has considered doing (maybe not the having sex with men part). Angel Dust does all of these things, Adam doesn't even deny it. He even looks nervous. He's angry, but doesn't deny that Angel has done those things. He doesn't explain it away or try to lie or move the goal posts, he's just asking what is an actually very valid question.
Why isn't Angel Dust there if he can do things equal to what Adam himself hasn't done? Serenity continues that line of thought. It isn't until Charlie is realizing no one knows what it takes to get into heaven.
Adam is more than willing to let Lute take the lead here, he's willing to give her the stage to clap back, he's giving her back-up antics. By all means, they could be pushing and fighting one another, there could easily be body language expressing something other than their general comfort around one another. They aren't fighting for a spotlight like you'd expect Adam to try and do considering his egotistical attitude.
Adam fucking sucks at keeping his mouth shut and he sucks at lying. He nearly blew the secret out of the bag once, this time, Sera is the only one who tries to stop him and to be honest? Lute looks a bit too thrilled at it. He knows he fucked up, but he doesn't think it's a big deal that anyone would know. For fucks sake, they've already condemned souls, his progeny, to suffer. What's the big deal if he kills them?
I have to re-iterate what's happening here. Charlie is proud she caused this chaos, that she caused these angels to fight amongst themselves, even if in this case it's a good thing. But, this is like history repeating itself to Adam, the reflection of his ex-wife, entering his domain, causing strife among his people, being happy about it.
And the venom he expresses when it comes to the 'liar' portion, god Alex Brightman destroyed when he got to this portion specifically. There is some vehement disgust in his tone when he says liar.
Adam isn't a good person now. But, I think he used to be a good person. By all means, Adam himself could've been the first murderer when his wife made her mistake. He, at one point in time, had to have been good enough to foster civilization itself with Eve. Both good and bad. Adam's original purpose was to be fruitful and multiply. Ordained by god (or maybe just angels) himself, divine power directed and created him to fuck. He didn't chase his ex-wife down, he was given a new one, Lilith was allowed to leave. When he left things alone, when he tried to move on, his ex-wife and a scorned angel destroyed the paradise he was in with Eve. He had to struggle and toil, he had to feel shame in his own body. He had to find out his first born son was the first murderer. His second son killed. We don't know if this is going to be canon in the story, a lot has changed, and if Adam is the first soul who reached heaven, then what did happen to Abel? Was Abel considered a sinner? Or did Cain kill Abel after Adam had passed? Either way, he had to witness his children kill, he had to watch his descendants behave in a range from saints and monsters. He's seen genocides, he's seen famine, war. Adam is desensitized to the plights of his descendants. Maybe he even saw it as a duty to cleanse the universe of their existence at one point, because they were his responsibility.
At the end of this episode, he is properly scolded by Sera and does seem ashamed of himself. He isn't huffy, he is reminded that he should be ashamed of acting that way.
I love Lute's enthusiasm, she's absolutely brutal when talking about Vaggie and with how she handled Vaggie. I think it's funny that Lute is so brutal she's even made Adam uncomfortable. It's cute that he's made uncomfortable by the excitement and all he does is tell Lute, the premier hype woman over here, to chill. She's so proud of herself too, look at her.
He fully expects these exorcist bad bitches to go in there and fuck shit up. But, you know it's hilarious that he's throwing horns? This dude, this angel. First human soul in heaven, loving rock n' roll, the devil's music, and throwing motherfucking horns. It's poetic really. I think we can probably assume where things are going.
Now, this is the first point we've seen Adam being a real piece of shit to Lute. I don't think Adam likes it when people think he's too dumb to notice something, especially something so damn obvious. This is such a drastic moment of vitriolic, uncontrolled anger directed towards Lute. Adam knows he isn't the brightest tool in the shed. He likely knows he's obtuse and misses shit. It's why he sucks at lying, he knows he's not smart. That is why I think he's afforded women opportunities to direct him without fighting back against their advice and their choices. I'm sure Lilith made it obvious how dumb she thinks Adam is. I'm wondering if this might be where their ground breaking fight might've come from. Who's to say he didn't allow Lilith to take the lead, or listen to her like he's done with Lute here and now? Perhaps to an even greater point? He listened to Eve and ate from the fruit of knowledge and he was punished for it. Being seen as so dumb he can't formulate a simple fact is a sore spot for him.
Adam is incredibly powerful. It took a bit out of him to exercise that power, probably because he's out of practice just like Lucifer said. At one point, he probably wasn't so sloppy and weak willed. He's gotten lazy. Sloth like.
I think it got real personal here. How viscerally and personally he attacked Charlie. No one but Charlie truly thought sinners could be redeemed, or that they were even worth it. Not even one of the original sinners. Maybe he never considered the possibility, maybe what happened really did make him see the world as black and white to cope with that happened to him, his wife, his children. Charlie's desire to fight this idea would destroy the foundation for all of his coping through the years. He stopped seeing them as family, even though he's grandiose about his founding role in humanity. Does that itch the guilt that may lurk under the surface?
I don't think Adam thought much of Charlie at all. I don't think he had any intention of coming to kill her in the beginning, despite seeing her, despite who her parents were. But, I think with the constant push, with how eager she was to disrupt the pre-conceived idea of order, it reminded Adam and reflected her parents so much, he was eager to kill her for revenge against them. I think this electrical interference on the mask is a direct reflection of sin. Namely, wrath, in this moment.
Now, this. THIS. Is something that made me want to write this whole fucking essay. Is Lucifer implying that he not only gave Eve the Fruit from the tree of knowledge, but FUCKED HER TOO? Homies, I'm sorry but holy shit. That is some hydrating tea. I'd be pretty pissed too, fucked over twice by women who were supposed to be literal soul mates, who you were made for, who were made for you?
I knew he would have a goatee, I could almost hear it. I gotta say, I'm a sucker for how he looks. I think he's hot. He is a bastard, but so are a lot of the hot dudes in this show. It's just a theme.
This exact series of lines prompted so many of the thoughts that I had about Adam and why he thinks or acts the way he does. At one point, Adam did have to work himself to the bone and learn to survive from scratch alongside Eve. He isn't entirely without cause to not think that he deserves some respect or recognition from his descendants.
But, that doesn't give him the right to act like god himself. It's... well... Blasphemous. Isn't it? One of the worst sins is to think yourself to be worthy of worship, as if you're a god.
This is the moment that gave me empathy for them both. You could probably see the kind of loving person Adam could have been at one point with how he looks at Lute, even as he's laying there, dying. He's not crying like a bitch, just looking at Lute softly. Lute screaming for him, screaming his name. They cared for each other deeply.
And this... and this.... and this. WHAT DEAL DID YOU MAKE, LILITH? Did you make it with Sera? Did you make it with Adam? Did you make it with Lute? Did you really just want a little 'vacay' away from the hell you helped create? Left her husband, depressed and lonely. Left her daughter without any care or guidance. Maybe Alastor was sent in her place, perhaps? Seven years since he was seen after all, but why wouldn't he show up sooner if Lilith did care? Did she make a deal with Lute and Adam? Did she let Adam smash it so she could stay in heaven? Did Lute let her stay in exchange for getting Adam out of a position of power? Or was it maybe Sera who commissioned Lilith with a deal? Either way, I'm in full belief that it wasn't Adam's idea to move the extermination day up. I think he's a patsy, a scapegoat. I think Lute may have been manipulated, potentially, into manipulating Adam into this position. Was it even really Adam who came up with the idea to do the exterminations? Or was he the one who simply decided to fight originally because he was told heaven was at risk due to Lilith's rising power? The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions. I think it could be any number of these. Either way, Lute certainly does think she had authority over Lilith. Is it Lute just having hubris? Or is Lilith truly bound, just like Alastor, Husk, and Angel Dust?
Of course, now that we know a soul can be redeemed... and we certainly know that angels can fall. I don't think this will be the last we see of Adam.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel spoilers#adam hazbin hotel#lucifer hazbin hotel#lucifer morningstar#eve hazbin hotel#lilith hazbin hotel#lilith morningstar#character study
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