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aebinspa · 1 month ago

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dopamine

PAIRING: giselle x y/n reader

GENRES: suggestive, angst, reader hates giselle and they end up doing a project for school together lmao, meangirl!giselle, reader and giselle are a menace to society, jimin (aespa) and juyeon (tbz) are in a study group together and they are incredibly optimistic, mentions of sex, kiss, swearing.

WORD COUNT: 2.5k

AUTHOR'S NOTE: english is not my first language! so i’m practicing my writing hoping it can get better and better. AND stream giselle's dopamine it's so good <3

Nothing could have prepared you for the worst news of your life: you, aware that you love loneliness and hate forced contact with others, were assigned to group work with Aeri Uchinaga, famous for not contributing to any group work and for being always in the middle of too many, too many men.

After leaving a resigned sigh you approach your best friend Jimin to tell her about the unfortunate fate that struck you. "Among all and I say among all those that could happen to me, HER" "You’re tragic even if she has a bad reputation. Perhaps a woman like you who does nothing but read, read, and read will surrender and become incredibly willing!" "Funny Jimin. Who did you get?" "Juyeon and they also say that besides being incredibly beautiful he is also incredibly gifted" whispers Jimin, thinking that this could save her from the embarrassment of such a statement. "Enough, I’ve heard enough. I’m going home."

On the way back, angry and sad, you noticed a really nice coffee in which you would have wanted to stop but the change that you had in your wallet would not be enough even for half a sandwich. The puff you pulled out scared a stray cat that was stealing a piece of bread from the ground. Why does everything feel so strange to me?

The next day, as you arrived in class, you noticed Juyeon’s huge body very close to your best friend’s; you came up to check if Jimin was all right only to see that her face had a loving expression. "Good morning guys" you are starting, trying to forget what you just saw. "Hi, Jimin told me a few things about you. How nice to meet you" The two-door wardrobe that took the name of Juyeon squeezed you in a strong embrace that leaves you breathless. Men are really scary. "Hey Y/N, Giselle was looking for you earlier." "Who?" "That’s how us boys call her!" "You… guys?" "Giselle is part of my group, at least once we all go out together!" Juyeon’s enthusiasm was overwhelming but not enough to influence you. "Ah, she's going out with you."

"Y/N" What a hateful voice, not changed by a comma. You didn’t sunbathe at first; you wanted to see how much the little princess could have withstood without a bit of attention. Juyeon - this time with the help of Jimin - thought about involving her. "You might as well look me in the eye when I talk to you." "Go fuck yourself, Giselle. You sound like the 'ass-kicking' girl”. It didn’t take even half a second for you both to turn in the opposite direction. Jimin and Juyeon, moved by the situation, tried to calm things down. “How about you girls come to my house? Jimin and I have to do our project but there’s no problem if you come too. The table is big, the fridge is full and the more the merrier!” Juyeon shouted enthusiastically.

The idea of being alone in an empty room with Giselle terrified you so it didn’t seem like a bad idea to accept without too many problems; the other seemed to agree too.

“Perfect! Then let’s all go to Juyeon’s this Friday afternoon!” Oh Jimin, you could have avoided this.

Unfortunately for you and Giselle, Friday arrives in the blink of an eye. Juyeon’s imposing house stood in front of you and Jimin. “Not only is he handsome and gifted, but he also has a huge house. What more can I ask for?” “You could say a little prayer for me, for example” “Giselle won’t be able to tear your hair out if Juyeon and I are there with you” Jimin smiled at you as if to reassure you. “Good thing you always see the positive side…” you replied, already tired at the idea of having to enter that house.

When you entered, Giselle was already sitting on the wicker chair in the lush garden that was attached to the house. “Girls, here you are. Jimin can you help me bring some snacks out?” Jimin didn't have to be told a second time and rushed to help the boy after sending you a flying wink. You approached Giselle and sat in the chair opposite her, to maintain some distance. It was the first time you had seen her like this. The dark hair that she always combined with clothes of the same shade was this time combined with a long white dress that made her almost ethereal; the glasses made her face prettier than the one she had always adorned only with heavy black makeup which yes suited her well but a lighter shade made it stand out even more. Maybe you found yourself staring at her too much because when your eyes met you saw a smirk of victory on the girl’s face.

“Are you admiring what you’ll never have?” “And what is this thing I’ll never have? Dignity?” “The chance to brag about how beautiful you are” “Oh, the princess of everyone’s bed spoke” “I don’t have sex with men” Giselle replied somewhat upset. “Oh, so all the things they say about you are false?” “My group of friends is made up of all gay men and one straight man” Concern for Jimin filled you for a moment and you stopped the conversation in progress. “Juyeon's not gay, right?” “As if your eyes can't see how he's hitting on your best friend, you dumbass.” "Here's all the snacks!" Your darkened and frowning faces turned abruptly towards the two newlyweds and then shouted "Shut up!" Jimin resignedly rolled her eyes.

The first half hour you and Giselle spent arguing over the theme of the PowerPoint presentation. “This is an old lady color” “This is a funeral color though Y/N!” "You love funeral colors!"

The next two hours were spent looking for information on the same topics which later turned out to be identical; cause for further argument. When Juyeon and Jimin finished their work, you were still in the first part of the project. Your best friend and the guy disappeared somewhere after two minutes; when you received a message from Jimin you found out that the two had gone to stock up on chips.

“So you hate me?” You never expected to see such a piercing look on Giselle’s face. “No, I find you annoying and everything they say around you about you seems to confirm it” “I already told you this is all fucking fake” The black-haired girl ran a hand through her hair and turned her gaze elsewhere. “People love to say everything that comes to their mind. I'm a lesbian, men don't interest me. After I refused to have sex with a guy I was paired up with for a group project, he went around telling people that I'm a terrible partner and that well… slutshaming and other not-so-nice things about me."

The silence that followed immediately afterward was extremely embarrassing for both of them. “I said a bunch of bullshit, I'm sorry. I always imagined you through gossip, even though I know that Jimin doesn’t think of you as a slacker and that Juyeon is your best friend” “Y/N” Giselle tried to butt in. “Listen Aeri, I’ll make it up to you. I don’t like you but I have to admit that despite the various arguments you’re a real looker and what you say sometimes makes me laugh so all in all, you’re not bad” Giselle laughed. “Oh my god, are these supposed to be an apology?” "My apologies" “You should make them better. No nice man would pursue such a lunatic." “I'm not interested in men. They're just accessories to me.”

Giselle only stopped laughing when you said that. “But the two boyfriends you had last year?” Without asking how she knew, you continued with your speech. “A Cover to keep my parents from realizing I’m a lesbian. Same old story. They were nice accessories at least”

The tension between the two of you was growing more and more. Giselle slowly approached you, first placing a hand on the floor where you were lying and then bringing a leg forward. “How long has it been since you kissed a woman, Y/N?” You gulped down. “How long has it been since you kissed a woman, Aeri?” Giselle was a millimeter from your lips, hand on your thigh, and hand next to yours. If only it hadn't been for the scream that Juyeon pulled open the door, something would have happened, Giselle quickly moved away and muttered “What an idiot he is” as if the house didn't belong to him to begin with.

“We’re back! Is everything okay or did you get into a fight?” A restrained, fake laugh came out of your mouth and so did the words that came out of it. “We were one step away from having ourselves by the hair” You couldn't describe the look Giselle gave you.

The next day at school, you noticed that Giselle’s desk was empty. Worried, even though you didn’t want to admit it, you asked Juyeon for the girl’s number. Juyeon couldn’t help but smile as you saved the number on your phone. You immediately texted Giselle, asking why she hadn’t come to school and threatening to break into her house through the window if she didn’t answer. To your surprise, Giselle responded a few minutes later with a raised middle finger emoji; to which you of course responded with another middle finger. The next message made you lose your mind. “Bitch, I'm waiting for you at my house. Don't break my door, please”.

As you walked towards Giselle's house, you wondered where this interest in such an annoying person had come from. Interest was a big word, but yesterday you were the one who almost threw yourself into the arms of a girl you felt like you had hated for a lifetime.

When you arrived in front of Giselle's house, you knocked so loudly that the one who looked out the window was the neighbor and not the interested girl. "Holy God, what a mess you make!" Giselle in pajamas and slippers opened the door and made you smile. “Cute pajamas” “Go shit”

You went up the stairs and arrived in the girl's room. The room, to your surprise, was pink wherever you turned to look at it. “Hello Kitty puked on it?” “Perhaps you mean My Melody” “Even the canopy bed, princess” Giselle lay down on the bed and waited for you to do the same. “Shall we finish the work?” “I’m in”

Compared to the day before, things seemed to be going better. It wasn’t just the arguments that kept the exchange of information going but also the moments where you both dedicated time to listening to each other’s opinions.

“Done! And fuck it all!” “Hopefully we get a good grade” "God Y/N who cares! It's already a miracle to have managed to finish something like this." You nodded to let the other person understand that for once you agreed on everything. You printed out the sheets with the part that each of you had to do for the presentation and then threw yourselves on the bed again, tired of everything.

“Do you find school that fun?” Giselle was the first to speak. “No, simply when I don't know what to do I start reading, reading, reading. At least that’s what Jimin says” “I can’t stand it.” “Maybe you can't stand the people who are there” “Yes, but I hate everything about that place. The desks, the air that makes me uglier, the men, the homework, and group studies" You thought a few more seconds before answering her and, taking a deep breath, you turned towards her. "I can make you change your mind" “You can try but I don't know how well it works” “There's me and Jimin in the class. Then we can study together and everything will seem fun!” “See… You like school” Giselle's face darkened. “I enjoy being with Jimin. There's also Juyeon! And well… I'm here." Giselle turned away and didn't speak to you anymore.

A day went by and Giselle never replied to your messages. That morning you were supposed to present the group project. Not only had she stopped responding to the messages you were sending her under the desk, but she was also late for the presentation. A terrible thought passes through your mind. Did she stay home? She knows that the teacher gives a failing grade when something like that happens.

Jimin and Juyeon brilliantly finished their presentation and the applause, luckily for you since you were supposed to present later, lasted for two minutes. “Y/N and Giselle are next. However, I see that one of the two is missing. I will have to give you a good-” The classroom door suddenly burst open and all the eyes of your classmates and yours moved from the teacher to the figure of Giselle, who noisily began with a “Teacher, Y/N and I are ready to present!” A small smile appeared on your face.

Fortunately, the presentation given by you and Giselle surprised the class and the teacher who seemed to have very low expectations. During the break, you grabbed Giselle by the arm and led her to a secluded space. It was she who spoke first. "Excuse" “Don't be sorry, strangely everything went well” A silly bit of tongue from Giselle made you grin. “It went better than expected, yes.” You nodded. That silence that now characterized your relationship was starting to be too heavy to bear. Giselle came close to your face. “Teach me what having fun at school means, you little bitch,” she began while doing nothing but staring at your lips. "I know a better way to have fun." It was your hand that brought your bodies together and united them. Within seconds, Giselle approached your lips and began to kiss you without fear of being seen. Your tongues and legs intertwined as the kiss became more wet and passionate. You were the first to break away from the kiss, leaving you breathless. “We're going a little too fast” “We're just reversing the lessons a little bit. I kissed you first so you can teach me all that bullshit about how great school is." “And what happens after I teach you everything you need to know about school?” The bell announced the end of the break. “Well, after that I can see if I trust you and if we can go further.” "So kiss, school, sex, and only if these three work can we be together?" A loud laugh escaped your lips and Giselle without answering began to head towards your classroom.

“You know Y/N, maybe my plan could work” “There’s never been a plan that I couldn’t make work” The look you exchanged sealed a long and lasting agreement between the two of you.

#aespa fic #aespa #aespa giselle #aeri uchinaga #aeri uchinaga x reader #giselle x reader #aespa giselle x reader #suggestive #angst with a happy ending #girls kissing girls #wlw #aespa x reader #aespa headcanons

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fairyhaos · 1 year ago

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How To Fucking Write: a guide by fairyhaos

[masterlist]

this post details:

DIALOGUING INTERESTINGLY

hi gays and gals! the first post on starting and pacing a story did really well, so "how to fucking write" is back, with yet more advice and tips for everyone ^^ please feel free to let me know if there's something you want me talk about, because i'll be more than willing to see if i can help. also a reminder that i have a taglist for this series as well, and please reblog if you find this helpful :)

# - HOW TO DIALOGUE.

.. bullet point one : grammar

okay guys, as a native english speaker, i'll be the first to tell you that this language fucking sucks in terms of its grammar, but when it comes to dialogue, understanding how it works even to some extent will help you branch out and vary the way you write dialogue, which makes it so much more interesting.

with dialogue tags (said, asked, etc) if the punctuation mark in the dialogue is not a ! or ? then it should be a comma.

example : [junhui + castle]

as you can see in the first line, a comma is used rather than a full stop, because the sentence hasn't been finished yet. there's a dialogue tag, ('you correct'), that comes after it. and since the pronoun 'you' isn't a proper noun (i.e. a name) then it shouldn't be capitalised, because, again, the sentence hasn't been finished.

with action tags however, (he smiled, he stood up, etc) then it should be a full stop.

example : [i just made one up bc i don't use this a lot lmao]

"I disagree." He stood up, and walked over to close the door. "This isn't safe. You shouldn't go alone."

and now, since there is a full stop, it indicates that the speech is a sentence all by itself. that means the next word ('He') ought to be capitalised.

but the key part when grammar-ing dialogue in order to make it interesting depends on where you put the action and grammar tags.

if you constantly have lines that are just:

"dialogue," he said.

"dialogue," she said.

"dialogue but a bit longer," he said.

... then it can get repetitive, and annoying. by varying your dialogue structure, it can create more interesting dialogue.

example : [minghao + password]

there's a variety of dialogue and action tags being used with each line of dialogue, preventing everything from sounding too repetitive.

the first line starts with a normal sentence, and an action tag. the second is a standalone line of dialogue with no tags. the second has the action tag in the middle of the dialogue. and the last has a dialogue tag in the middle of the dialogue.

by varying the ways in which you write your dialogue, it makes everything a lot more interesting.

.. bullet point two : verbs and adverbs

the easiest way to make dialogue interesting, though, is to use fancy words.

this can be by replacing 'said' with a range of other dialogue tags (see this really comprehensive list for a whole variety of different words), but i'd advise against overusing these. 'said' is your friend! it's the invisible dialogue tag, helps your reader read through your dialogue in comfort, but of course, if you wanna add a nuanced way of describing the dialogue, then replacing 'said' is the easiest way to make your dialogue interesting.

but don't overuse these. for me, i'd focus on action tags and adverbs.

use interesting adverbs that add description to how a character is saying something can go miles. and using action tags that break through what could have been a long section of characters just talking? it helps so much.

i'd recommend having onelook thesaurus open as you write. you don't have to type in just words: phrases, the overall vibes of the word you're thinking of, all of that can be typed into the thesaurus and they'll provide you with pretty good results each time.

it also really helps when you've forgotten a word and can only remember vague bits of what the word should feel like.

.. bullet point three : voices

the best way, however, is ultimately to create a character. write a personality for them, bring them to life, think about the way in which they would talk and then put that down onto paper.

it's difficult, perhaps the most difficult to do, because it's also so tricky to advise someone on how to do this. it's all about the character you want to create, the personality you envision for them, and the only person who can fully write that is you.

however, i would find a few 'ticks' of theirs and use them as indicators in your writing.

for example, in my seoksoo long fic, seokmin's tick is that he always "chirps" what he's saying. and beams. a lot. this identifies his character, makes him unique(ish), and establishes his personality and differs him to the other characters.

but ultimately, it comes down to word choices, when you're writing a character voice.

like, your character describing something with elegant, floral language vs them going "this is so pretty". or perhaps making them stumble over their words when they're panicked vs them simply just going silent when they're flustered.

it's about being specific. about making choices with your words that would have english teachers analyse and unpick your writing, hundreds of years later.

(even if it's fanfic. especially if it's fanfic: because who knows how many fans may join your fandom in the next few years?)

... and that's it ! if anyone has anything else they want advice on (how to structure, how to write dialogue, how to plan etc) then just shoot me an ask, because i'd love to help however i can :)

tagging (comment/send ask to be added!): @selenicives @stqrrgirle @weird-bookworm @eternalgyu @blue-jisungs (tough luck guys btw but youre gonna be tagged in this entire series ehehehe)

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moonshynecybin · 4 months ago

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who do you think would deal better with being isekai'd into omegaverse, marc or vale? alternatively which is more compelling

most beautiful ask. in the world. so funny. ummmm i think. vale is maybe more compelling because his issues with it would be. perhaps unsolvable and endlessly complex. guy who is a lil weird about gender, not terribly into the concept of marriage, and is pretty fundamentally adverse to being. shall we say emotionally legible/vulnerable. exposed. and omegaverse as a genre is all about exposure. its all. giving into the base instincts of your body and those same instincts giving you away to the object of your affections. its going into heat and the person youre in love with is the only one available to help you through it. its scenting someone and that being a crystal ball of their emotions and bodily state ESPECIALLY ie how much they want you specifically. its needing someone so bad you are literally insensate. its getting bonded 5ever and ever irrevocably, OFTEN in the heat of an instinctual moment without the relationship negotiation that happens irl. a genre centered around a betrayal of the body/heart to the mind, in many ways

now imagine you didnt actually grow UP in an omegaverse so you have no toolbox to DEAL with all that. sensory input off the SHITS. and. like suddenly and without WARNING now vale can feel in his CHEST exactly how distressed marc marquez is about every one of their interactions. and how much he wants his ass. like truly every part of his hind brain is like jesus christtttttt i should be inside him right tf now im a terrible alpha. and then the higher part of his brain is like what the fuck. what the fuck. i am not responsible for marc, what the fuck. and oh hey theres a bump on my penis i need to ask people about this right the hell now. thats vale. so i see this as a somewhat fraught comedy of sex errors where his ADHD ass is treading horny water trying to learn alpha manners and also. much more complexly. not fall into all of the traditional alpha expectations/roles. that little trap of gender. because at heart vale is a little trickster who loves to buck expectations!!! and maybe his journey here is realizing that he can just be himself comma sex freak. and that leaning into those "alpha" traits doesnt mean he is conforming lmao he can still have his own unique version of his family. learning the norms of a society and what makes sense to him and what still doesnt. sorting through the weeds of it. and that being vulnerable rules sometimes. and that marc loves him. because that last one is kind of hard to ignore now... again because of that emotional and physical vulnerability that comes with the genre... honestly him knowing all of that about marc without having to actually TALK about it may solve some of their problems tbh. like why work through all that verbally when you can sniff them and then fuck them. kind of the omegaverse fantasy in quite a few ways

marc. jeez louise. i think would HATE it more. at first. control freak 9000. maybe has to miss races for heats. suppressants arent legal. experiencing weird omega sexism if we want to go that route OR. my favorite. has been lying to the press about his status since he presented. tiniest 15 yr old youve ever seen: im an alpha ! :3 uh sure bud. sure. i bet. SO actually maybe he falls into a world where hes just been white-knuckling it for the last billion years during race weekends and most of the paddock kind of KNOW (scent blockers only go so far...) but are lowkey afraid to call him on it dlkjdfljldsfd... similar to vale in this scenario, he sort of has to learn how to omega— and when his heat hits during summer break and his ass start leaking in the middle of the spanish equivalent of walmart, he finds a psycho little ziploc bag of sweaty vale shirts under his bed and he genuinely is like girl what the hellllllllllll.... wiggin out. and his next heat he turns up to race with truly NO practice managing it all, so its way more obvious than normal and the farce is growing thinner and vale literally pulls him aside to be like hey are you GOOD ? but in that valentino not that i care about your ass kind of unspeakably divorced way and marc is like woag. bc a pheromone truck just ran him over. eyes glassy face flushed sweaty as hell mouth a little open.... and he opens his mouth to make an excuse and nothing comes... and then obviously they fuck like its the end of the WORLD

and like i DO think marc pulls out of it more cleanly than vale overall, bc something in HIS lizard brain would be deeply soothed by like. excelling at being an omega. getting an A + in being a bottom. doing that for vale, specifically in the context of pushing his body to the absolute LIMIT to do it.... hes locked in. its go time. and then theres the insane possibility of vale putting his mouth on his neck and them getting basically soulbonded forever where they have to have crazy sex every few months ? hes like ummmm okay. i could get used to this for a while lmao

#huge thanks to dante who worked some of this out with meeeeee #motogp #callie speaks #asks #rosquez #marc is also a noted smell diva. so i think he would really hate/enjoy all that...#meanwhile in another universe vale sniffing arounfd the paddock like. what smells like sexy gasoline. is anyone getting that ? just me ?#and uccio is sitting there like. you KNOW thats marc what the hell #vale as always much harder to solve in a given scenario. dont even know if it makes sense or i agree with it...#like its the new gendered expectation of a REALLY traditional family structure and i mean his family structure NOW isnt really that untrad #but i think coming into NEW gender/societal expectations would be weird ! especially concering the underpinnings of classic abo stories #and a lot of stories are about rebelling against those and i think it could work with vale ! is all im trying to say. badly.#idk send me some asks maybe im working through it

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truly-a-snitch · 1 year ago

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I loved the heterochromia headcanons thank you!

Could i request Ranpo and dazai with a s/o who is very protective because of loss in their past so they are so afraid of losing them. Like if they get hurt they’re going to be on a warpath and the person who hurts the person they care for will be pissing their pants.

-🧛

tyty !! also LMAO yes ofc ofc this just sounds like junichiro lowk.

u didnt say if u wanted hcs or something else so ill write some hcs for ya :3

WARNINGS: a little suggestive in dazais but nothing super explicit, otherwise p much fluff i think ? idk if it counts as fluff but like nothing Bad happens :3

---

ranpo and dazai with an s/o who is protective and is scared to lose them

ranpo

ranpo knew before he saw it in action honestly. before he saw the way you would shoot people glares if they even mentioned stealing his snacks, or how you would chew out people when you heard them mention that he didn't 'actually' have an ability, he noticed it in the way you carried yourself

he doesn't want you to feel like you have to walk on eggshells around him !! he's the most blunt person you will ever meet, and he doesn't care what other people think (until it comes to you, it seems)

he makes sure you know he isn't going anywhere ♡

to the point like if he enters a room and sees you in that room, he is attached to your side until he's inevitably pulled away from you for work

(he's very touchy in general, i think his love languages are physical touch and quality time)

he thinks it's REALLY funny when you get upset with people. not because making you upset is funny, but because he loves how people react when they're on the receiving end of it. it's all in good fun of course ^_^

that being said, he also doesn't get his feelings sincerely hurt very easily

but seeing how protective you get is the biggest mood booster for him ♡

he doesn't really behave the same way- that is to say he doesn't try to SCARE whoever hurts you

however comma. he will rip them to shreds by just like pointing out everything that's wrong with them

dazai

oh he is most definitely into this side of you. 100%

similarly to ranpo, he doesn't really get his feelings hurt very easily, but if he does, seeing you go up to bat for him is the best pick me up

like he will do a complete 180 in terms of his mood

(you're probably being dragged to the nearest private or semi-private space- depending on your comfort level with it- once you calm down a bit)

he's similar, which is part of why he's so into it

like does he try to be a good person because of oda. yes. but he was also part of the mafia for a significant portion of his formative years so if you get hurt he is doing the EXACT same fucking thing you would do

his love language is 100% acts of service btw

dazai is like genuinely terrifying when he wants to be however if you express disconfort with him going around and scaring people for hurting you he knows how to reel it in

when you do it he's off to the side cheering you on for real !!

he is also very touchy, that's how he like silently reassures you that he isn't going anywhere, with like his hand in yours or his fingers in your hair or whatever

(he is ALWAYS touching you genuinely)

he's another smart cookie like ranpo so he figured out this would happen and he had some thoughts abt it. that's all i will say

#writing #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd x gn reader #gn reader #gender neutral reader #dazai x reader #dazai x y/n #dazai x you #dazai x gn!reader #ranpo x y/n #ranpo x reader #ranpo x you #ranpo x gn!reader #percys silly hcs #headcanons #🧛 anon

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cinderspots · 2 months ago

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Do you guys ever think of how beautiful it is that even when you come and go, you live on?

Specifically, I'm talking about word and speech patterns. For me and several other people I know, when I am close with someone, I intake the things they say and make them a part of my vocabulary. Isn't that nice to know? That there is a forever inside joke between people you once knew and the ones you know now?

When I was a sophomore in high school, I knew these two girls, one a senior and one a junior. Now I am friends with said senior post high school, but at the time, I and her did not talk. But i adored the junior, who was best friends with the senior. Not in any sort of weird crush way but more like the friend crush, they are so cool type of thing- but the junior had a habit of saying "so true" in response to very serious or silly things with no remorse or impulse control before backtracking when they realized it wasn't appropriate- they told me that they started doing it because of the senior. And then even now, years later, I myself saying "so true" like a parrot who's repeating the words of an owner no more, but remembers all the same.

When I was even younger, a baby freshman, I was (to my undying embarassment) not only a wattpad enjoyer but a wattpad role player. If you don't know what that is- close your eyes and let yourself remain innocent young one. There was this one person I roleplayed with in particular @imsososolesbian that had a fixation on the oxford comma- that's right I wasn't born with the comma affliction- and after talking to them (with the // of real conversation before we immediately decided we'd rather just talk to each other than play pretend) I noticed that I had developed this habit of using the comma far far too much (the disease unfortunately is uncurable and set for life) because the speech pattern worked on me through text rather than talk. Me and that person don't talk anymore and that's really sad sometimes, but I like to think that maybe I gave them something back, like my tendency to leave auto cap on so all my texts start with a capital unless I'm on my computer. We pass each other like ships, and I try to check in, and they do the same, but we aren't quite as close as before. That's okay.

Also in Freshman year I became friends with a group of kids on my bus (it ends in tragedy and the familiar ridiculous high school drama) and this one girl in the group who was my age and shared chemistry with would spell out LOL with her hands and say the letters individually- to be ironic it occurs to me now, but back then I just thought it was funny. At first, when I adapted it into my vocabulary, I did it the same, but I found that my brain did not like moving my hand along with it, and so I just spelled it. LOL and LMAO were and still are my big offenders because I was not doing it to be ironic. That girl literally altered my brain chemistry, and I can not think of it another way. Because the things we take from others are changed in our care, but that doesn't make it any less shared.

Hearing Mariah Carey, who i actually did not care about before we had this tiff about her last Halloween, makes me think of @bee-nutauthor . Because it doesn't always spread the way i expect, the song, the name, the words themselves make me think of my friend. I don't look at art anymore and just think in legible thoughts, I eat art, I eat your praise, I bark at things I like a lot, I use abomination words that do not exist, I am extremely familiar with pompompurin because @dead-finch-420 a fixation, in fact Finch is my fixation spreader because theyre always dragging me into it. Isn't that nice too? To be thought of when someone enjoys media, to be remembered we long as that media exists and if not there in memory of it? Because the closer I am to someone, the worse it is. In all the other examples, I would describe the people I picked things up from as an acquaintance friend. Not particularly close, but close enough. When I see bugs, I first scream (loudly), and then I think, "Would Lemni like this?"When I watch horror or see the sky during the night, or view the snow as it falls, I think,"Would MJ like this?" I think and think and think and it's all because of these things, these words, the visions, and I see everyone I've ever known in everything there is to see.

In my Junior year I started to use the word "girl" and "girlie" because of a coworker that I grew very close to used it very very often on me, she also inflicted me with the "like" curse for its second round on my brain- it hasn't gone away since. We still talk because I can remember you when you're still here, which can be sad sometimes, but also comforting in a way. If I can remember you while you're here, I can remember you when you're gone.

@split-milk-7 Someone who I view to be my best friend has inflicted many vocabulary additions. We met on a re8 Miranda discord because Miranda lovers are so very rare, and we decided that of course we should be friends married and we are technically wife and spouse. But they had a particular fixation on using "bestie" to refer to me every other sentence. I am physically incapable of not using the word "bestie" in a sentence while talking aloud to people. I could not resist it. My brain decided it liked that word above all, and so here I am.

@h-doodles I was never someone who bit before I joined the meower server, filled with people who I consider to be my closest friends in the world - and I've never met a single one of them. I find that I like biting. I will think of them eternally as the meowers, for all our jokes will live in my head for years until I can no longer remember why I say these things, but I say them all the same. Because it's inevitable that you forget, but do they need to remember you for your words to live on? People will continue to say the things you said, and they may not know you gave that to them, but it will continue to spread the same way slang spreads eternally. It lives. @zeleneagle, I am not awake, I am an awaker. For some reason, I use :3 now. I bite because I love, and sometimes because angy, boi, floof, birb, borb, whatevah, music, movies, pictures, life, and death, it's everywhere.

To me, you are everywhere.

And I think that's beautiful in a way that I myself can not always appreciate, on the days when the world seems so dull and empty and unwelcoming and so not made for me. I think I should try and think of this when it gets like that, when my bed feels like the only place I can be safe. That the world is full of you and friends and love alongside the enemies and hate and sadness. And if the world is full of you, then doesn't that also mean it's full of me? That I might live on in others the same way you live on in me? That I made an impact on someone, however minor, that I mattered? That you mattered?

I wonder what I've given off to someone else to live on and be remembered for. I hope it wasn't something stupid like me saying people's names in a British accent and pronouncing it really wrong on purpose.

They might resent me a little for that

#cindertalk #cinderwrites #cinderhasafuckingmoment #honestly i don't know what happened to me this morning but have this

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atopvisenyashill · 4 months ago

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alright things i liked

baela pointing out that jace is not the first bastard to inherit a seat that isn’t his by blood. that was a fun convo and i loved the back and forth and i love that she comes at it like “why are you moping do you think you’re the only bastard in the fucking world” and jace is like barely able to argue his point that LIVING that reality is so much more draining than she realizes, he’s too busy daydreaming about strangling ulf to death over the kitchen table.

everything helaena did. sensing daemon is having a dragon dream and using it to get him back to rhaenyra’s side, the way she really was listening to alicent’s idea about running away to essos together, letting her mother speak her piece in her defense, then going out onto the balcony knowing aemond is going to corner her and giving him the dressing down of his LIFE while he cries, all very good.

abigail thorne. omg. am i mad she’s not sabitha frey? yes. was she still hilarious? also yes.

ESSOSI OUTFITS THAT LOOK GOOD. WE GOT BLUE HAIR FOLKS!!!!

ulf and hugh and addam. trying to find their place, trying to bond with their dragons and each other, unsure of their footing. addam looked ready to turn to goo in his chair. hugh wincing at every “lowborn” quirk ulf has. ulf going ham on acting like ulf bc he’s nervous & telling jokes to cover it. loved it.

alys alys alys. crying at daemon’s bedside at what’s to come, at what she’s going to face next. do you think she saw simon’s death and wept for her silly uncle. does she grieve her cousins before they have even died. does she weep at daemons bedside knowing she’s leading him to his end.

larys and aegon. the whole scene was so good, the way larys is really trying to convince aegon to leave & fight another day and he has like a VERY solid plan but aegon is so completely shaken up bc he just had no idea aemond hated him that much, this is just what love is to him, is this constant push pull of humiliation and abuse that hes still as blind as he was when he was a child to the way his actions affect aemond.

alfred brune just nervously disappearing into the crowd after Daemon gets everyone singing “god save the queen” is so fucking funny. man is like “oh i misread that one HARDCORE i am about to get ate by a fucjing DRAGON while those two watch and fuck nasty” his ass is GRASS lmao

things that were booty, ass even

every single scene helaena had should have come earlier in the season. there’s no reason alicent & helaena couldn’t have had this convo in the last episode instead of alicent fucking off to the godswood for a swim.

i think it’s fine In Theory that alicent goes to rhaenyra and basically surrenders. she’s been shut out of power, she’s lost control of aemond, she’s terrified for helaena’s safety, and otto who was her rock & partner in all things has been gone for a long while. she’s floundering, her shitty boyfriends have abandoned her, she thinks her only shot is to work out a surrender with rhaenyra. COMMA BUT. caving to rhaenyra saying “i’m gonna have to execute aegon” was dumb & ooc. i’m tired of all these little trips between KL and dragonstone. i think that confrontation lacked a lot of punch, alicent was FAR too calm. idek what they’re doing w alicent’s reactions half the time tbh, this feels once again like being unable to let an actress just look ugly for a minute. even during a scene where she should ostensibly be nervous and freaking out, she looks immaculate & prettily distressed. i’m very much over it esp with how often we’ve seen rhaenyra look banged up or windswept or tired or whatever this season.

officially fridging marilda just takes so much intrigue out of the hull boys & alyn specifically. marilda is the only baseborn or lowborn character we get in the book that isn’t shit talked and this is likely due to alyn making SURE his mother is respected. to cut all of that for….what? more manpain? unacceptable.

pls tell me why tyland gets more haha jokey scenes than baela and rhaena get for any scenes at all. baela fights and SURVIVES the last dragon battle in westeros. rhaena is the last dragon rider until dany. they are powerful political forces just as their grandparents and parents. but they just do NOTHING it is so FRUSTRATING.

in theory i’m fine with aegon thinking sunfyre is dead and then finding out he’s alive bc sunfyre has come to rescue him from something. but if sunfyre doesn’t show up WAY EARLIER than the swan dive, if they CUT SOMEHOW THE SWAN DIVE and we don’t get to see aegon snot-crying and screaming as he holds baela’s burnt open face against a headstone and screams that he’s going to kill her for killing sunfyre while she’s glaring and daring him to fucking do it then, you all will never know peace from me. i will literally never stop bitching i will become the most annoying poster on this website i will find condal and hess and i will-

all build up and for WHAT. did they forget that even tho s6 ended with a bunch of shots of people’s armies moving there was an entire fucking battle that happened and then cersei committed religious terrorism??!!!

OH SO WE KEEP YAPPIN ABOUT DAERON ALL FUCKING SEASON JUST THIS RANDOM ASS FOURTH CHILD THAT WE DIDNT HEAR ABOUT ONCE LAST SEASON, AND ALL WE SAW WAS THAT TWO SECOND SCENE OF TESSARION FROM THE TEASER??

AND WE DONT EVEN SEE DREAMFYRE??

#gif warning #hotd spoilers #hotd critical

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fillinforlater · 1 year ago

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Monday of Appreciation: Part 98

Hello everyone, Smite here!

Another step closer to one of the most satisfying number... and it's a number I did not really think I would reach. But it is real, every damn Monday, a pist like this has appeared on my blog for 22+ months - and my goal is still the same:

Giving love to other writers with awesome stories, new ideas and gorgeous, insanely hot idols. So click on the damn links and get ready to enjoy these four smuts:

-1-

@minarisplaything: What You're Missing Part 1 ft. Kazuha, Yunjin

So I liked this, simple concept, but also very hot idols who kinda fit the characters (Kazuha seems to fit everything though lol). I just eant you to use this one button, then add a couple of commas and I'm fully hooked. I know this fic is a bit older, but please use capital letters lmao

-2-

@jisoosimpxd: Your Turn ft. Yunjin, Chaewon

This is just straight up squeezing all of my horniness out, ugh, watching this would be a such an overwhelming experience - good thing that I can imagine myself pounding Yunjin and making Chaewon a desperate longing mess (mess mess mess mess mess mess).

-3-

@closedafterdark: My Girlfriend's Best Friend ft. Nancy, Ahin

Oh look, another fic about cheating. Something about this immoral practice paired with smut just works. You already have this stupidly hot and needy idol, why go cheat? Why ruin your life? Because she is seductive, tempting you to commit this sin, and we (men) are weak. In the case of Ahin... yep, I would probably fall too.

-4-

@smuttysabina: GahDongs Dirty Duo Fuck ft. futa!Gahyeon, futa!Handong

WHOEVER COMMISSIONED THIS, DESERVES A MEDAL. Holy shit, this was... short but impactful. I'm losing it, I need this, woaaaahhhh!

Please, never stop @smuttysabina releasing such crazy, unhinged, kinky-af pieces of horny art lmao luv u

(God, Miyeon makes me so horny lately) I mean, have a great week everyone! <3

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sinfulequity · 1 year ago

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Swing and...A miss!

Mikoto’s door is finally here!

Along with the announcement of his cover song and his voice drama name; how fun~

Now onto actually analyzing this thing lmao (Gunsli/Archivalofsins and I both worked really hard on structuring and formatting this thing)

TL;DR- Neoplasm is a fitting evolution from John Doe for both personalities within Mikoto. It is fitting for the one we’re familiar with due to the abrupt change in perception and the one we found out about afterwards because they are becoming more active/growing more defined as Milgram progresses. There are a lot of horror elements involved in Mikoto’s song and previous mv that both of us are excited to see elaborated on in Double. The door is likely based on some sort of operating room and the lettering of the song title in English is probably referring to division.

I. The Title

Firstly, I want to go over how the title is formatted in English! Initially I was thinking of it in writing terms (i.e. how parentheses are used to add clarifying information to a sentence).

A parenthesis is a word, phrase, or clause inserted into a sentence as an explanation or afterthought. When a parenthesis is removed, the surrounding text is still grammatically sound. A parenthesis is usually offset with parentheses (i.e., round brackets), commas, or dashes. These are called parenthetical punctuation marks. A parenthesis is sometimes called an "interrupter" as it interrupts the flow of text.

Examples of them are:

· Andrew Jacklin (last year's losing finalist) is expected to win this heat.

· The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary. (Journalist HL Mencken)

When parentheses (round brackets) are used to offset a parenthesis, the parenthesis is easily seen. However, some writers feel that parentheses can make formal texts look unorganized.

There are more links above, outside of the meaning, usage and formatting of parenthesis. If you’re interested, you can go through it all to see the way that grammar and formatting can help explain/emphasize a point! Being informed on this, at the very least, will be helpful for those that wish to more critically engage with and analyze written media.

Applying this logic to the English title of Mikoto’s second trial song, further emphasizes Mikoto being MeMe. As it can literally be read as Double I’m MeMe. Due to the lack of punctuation, this can be interpreted as both a statement and a question.

Something alluded to by Mikoto’s expression. However, this isn’t the only way it can be read!

We’ve had addition,

“Clothes Food Shelter + Love and Miss.”

We’ve had subtraction,

“Loving Affection (minus) Love, it’s tacky, this two-way deceit.” (Also, another effective use of parentheses.)

Now get ready for-

Division

Yep, the way I’m (MeMe) is written should be familiar to anyone who knows basic Algebra. Because this is exactly how basic division problems are shortened within that form of math and others.

Some examples,

This serves to follow up on what we were told within MeMe,

“Split in half, make that heart beat.”

Since that’s exactly what division is all about

“Division is a mathematical operation which involves the separating of an amount into equal-sized groups.”

Regardless of the outcome it will always be balanced and through recombining those groups will equal the whole. This is why any single number divided by itself equals one because it is equally distributed down. This is why uneven numbers when divided usually have solutions that are not integers as well. The exception being when they’re divided by themselves or by 1.

The point of division is breaking something down into equal parts that can be put back together to get the number you divided by.

For example,

7/2=3.5

89/2=44.5

In either scenario if one were to add this number to itself (essentially combining the two halves) it would make the number that was divided. Add forty-four point five to forty-four point five, to get eighty-nine and three point five to three point five to get seven.

Division is all about figuring out what number added to itself as many times as the number it is being divided by will equal out to the number that is being divided. So, in the case of our first two examples where we are dividing by two doubling the number we get will equal out to what we divided.

A more on topic example would be dividing Mikoto’s prisoner number by two.

9/2= 4.5

Ultimately, this would just be another way of stating something we know about Mikoto already. That he is the ninth prisoner within Milgram.

Let’s use Mikoto’s prisoner number in another division example,

9/3= 3

In multiplication three multiplied by itself equals nine, as many know. However, that doesn’t equate to three overall but three groups of three. Basically being,

3+3+3= 9

Only serving to further reiterate to us that Mikoto is the ninth prisoner overall. That’s just how math works. Now that we’ve gone over some rather basic math; what does the way they chose to organize the lettering on Mikoto’s second trial cd tell us?

Under this framing it could be read as Double I’m/(MeMe) or Double I’m divided by MeMe.

This could reflect that Mikoto’s current state of being is separated into these parts. Stating that these are the parts that make up I’m. Or to put it in math terms again I’m/(MeMe)= Y(X).

Get it because his first trial song quote is,

“Why?”

Also, because the solution, just like punctuation, isn’t here within the title. Something that further emphasizes this lyric in MeMe,

“Why, hey why, I’m nowhere to be found.”

In this case, the two me’s would be making up the I’m while being a source of division for it.

This way of reading it may allude to a disagreement between these two parts or just imply that both these parts are getting in the way of discovering “I’m” in some way breaking their overall sense of self down.

This is something, that has also been illustrated in Yamanaka’s tweet regarding the voice drama,

Which roughly translates to,

“I (ore) did it. I (boku) didn’t do it! You saw it through Milgram! What do you think?”

All this implies that we will more than likely be seeing Mikoto/and the other face this aspect of themselves along with the concept of identity in some way.

II. The Door & Speculations on the Voice Drama Snippet

When it comes to Mikoto’s door, Gunsli and I couldn’t really agree on what it was. At first glance I thought it was an elevator door and she thought it was a train door. However, the door opens outwards while noticeably not being broken in any way that would force it to do so, illustrating that this door has hinges.

Meaning that both beliefs are incorrect.

Train doors also don’t have this on top,

This digital prompter is why I initially believed it was an elevator before taking into consideration how it opens. These words have been put on all the prisoner’s doors. However, they have always been in some way apart of them. This implies that this digital prompter is a part of the door, proper.

Making it more unlikely that these are the doors to a train. I’ve also seen speculation of it being a swing door (opening both outwards and inwards, which would be cool), but… given how fortified the frame is and how thick the doors themselves are… I find that highly unlikely.

The closest thing that we’ve come to a consensus on is actually…

Operating room doors (Operation Theatre Doors). Possibly, emergency operation ones? If this is it, I’m curious to what Mikoto’s MV is visually gonna be like. I think it would be hilarious if we didn’t get visceral imagery, but I don’t think that’s likely after taking into consideration the horror inspirations that can be noted within his previous trial (something we’ll go into later).

Those give his door a few more fun implications. Especially, if these are in fact operating room doors. This is because a lot of zombie/infection type horror movies take place in hospitals. If one were to look at his door through that sort of lens, wouldn’t it appear quite reminiscent to the doors seen at ground zero infection sites in virus or zombie genre horror flicks- The blood smeared on the door as people try to make their way in the glass smashed in hopes of reaching in and unlocking it or breaking a barricade. That airtight thick frame around the door. The likes of movies such as Contagion, 28 Days Later, or The Sadness. Warning for flashing lights on all these trailers by the way.

Outside of continuing these horror inspirations, operation room doors would be a good fit considering his voice dramas name as well. This time, the voice drama is called “Neoplasm”, which is not technically a word that exists, but does follow the format of a bunch of medical terms.

Now, I’m gonna rewind a little, because I haven’t given my opinion on the first trial voice drama name, “John Doe”, either (I promise this connects lol). John Doe applies to both personalities in Mikoto in different ways.

The Mikoto taken into Milgram (referred to within this section from now as Miko), is initially described as “mass goods”. In other words, an “everyman” or to quote Gunsli, “a dime a dozen”. Miko is an office worker, one of the most mundane jobs out there.

This touches on the fact that, like Gunsli has said previously, he could be replaced at any point without much trouble. As we know, John Doe is widely known to be used as a generic name/placeholder in order to withhold details from the larger public.

Either that, or the details don’t exist.

The Mikoto we find out about after Milgram has started, proper, (referred to in this section as Koto), is someone we don’t have an identifying “tag” for. The only (overt) way we know that Koto is out is that he has different behavioural mannerisms and vocabulary.

Even then, his use of personal pronouns seemed to be the same as Miko’s in MeMe, given the line:

“I” will save “me”.

This line uses boku in both instances of a personal pronoun.

In this way, John Doe could be meant in its more formal way; where a body is called this when the identity hasn’t been verified yet.

Incidentally, did you know that John Doe used to be a court term?

Specifically, to hide the identity of a plaintiff in an ongoing court case. There’s also a counterpart called Richard Roe, that hides the identity of the defendant.

There is a mild but real possibility that Miko could be trying to implicate Koto as the perpetrator within his second voice drama to skirt taking responsibility for his actions. It has been brought to the audience’s attention that the prisoners can hear what the audience has been saying about them since the beginning of trial two.

Though Yuno is the most candid about it,

Absolute Zero Yuno Trial 2 Interrogation

“It’s fucking bothersome- I told you this from the start; didn’t I. There’s no end to how much people will punish each other outside of the law. Due to that I really had no interest in Milgram.”

Yes, I remember that. You told me that you wouldn’t pay my judgements any mind and just continue as you have been.

“Oh, that’s right; I’m happy you remembered! Yet, at that time, I didn’t exactly hate it…Milgram. Sure, this place is full of nothing but weirdos but it was much warmer than my day-to-day life at least.”

It did appear like you were having fun the last time we spoke.

“Yes, it was fun! Sure, they’re all murderers but they’re interesting people. They put me at ease a bit, there was just something nice about being around others who also seemed to have something missing in one way or another.”

You’re saying that changed because of me?

“Yep! The situation has become more bothersome than fun. Now all the novelty of it that I found fun at first has been overshadowed- So, I’ve chilled out now that’s all.”

…

“And…Are you satisfied with this situation?”

Everyone within Milgram is a murderer, to the extent of clarifying the information I’ve been handed, to understand your sins… This job, my role, is necessary. Milgram will pull to the forefront not just your essences but the truths that lie within.

“Who are you trying to convince with that? Do those feelings and observations of yours not hold up unless you repeat them over and over again to yourself?”

…!

“You want to find the truth…huh? Pf…Haha!”

Yes, of course, as the guard of Milgram finding the truth of the matter is integral to correctly judging your sins-

“It’s the result of A LOOOOT OF sugar-babying: abortion.”

…!

“That’s probably my murder. Well have it, go and partake of the truth you were seeking so badly.”

…

“How is it, as good as you thought? Are you satisfied? If so, can we be done already?”

Yuno…you…

“You don’t surprise easily, do you? As I thought, you knew it from the song extraction.”

Well, yes, I considered it as one of many possibilities. However, that is the one I believed was most likely. Taking into account Milgram’s lack of specifications concerning the terms murderer and murder alongside it acting outside of common law I could not overlook the possibility it could interpret such a thing as murder.

“Yes, I’m sure. Well, more to say, I had this inkling that was your way of thinking. I could feel it.”

You could feel it…you say?

“Feel it, hear it, all throughout Milgram it’s probably the same with the others as well. Voices talking, observing, poking their noses into things that they ought not to and then discussing my sins.”

Something like that…

“Were those not the sort of thoughts you were having or something? It’s not as if I can really know for sure after all.”

…I don’t know. I wasn’t informed that Milgram could have that sort of impact. It is true I decided to forgive you with that thought in mind. However, that decision is only provisional.

“Haaa….”

…

“Well, then now I’ll tell you the second reason I’m so chilled out! Yaaay!!”

…

“You’re bad at going with the mood, huh.”

I’m starting to lose what little grasp I had on the type of person you are.

“You know it’s dull if you get too serious all the time.”

Noted. Continue.

“My second chillout reason simply put is the fact I was forgiven.”

What?

“Well, to get specific, it isn’t the fact I was forgiven itself but…”

I don’t understand. Just state it plainly.

“Hm…well then, should I just tell you what I heard in my head, what those incessant voices were saying. “Because she’s pitiful.”, “There’s no doubt, she definitely had some sort of reason for doing it.”, “She’s probably this way because there were problems in her home life.”, “She just doesn’t know love yet!” Ah…! “Because of that… I’ll forgive her!”.”

It's true that my decision was impacted by that sort of analogical reasoning and those are all things I considered.

“Ah, yes, yes… Well, and I have to stress this is going to purely and fully my own personal opinion but- I find making those sorts of assumptions preachy and unpleasant!”

…

“It’s all worthless. Deciding that I’m pitiful, making up a backstory for me, creating this personal idealized version of me- This acceptable version of me that you can feel good looking at. Aa..h- They exist you know the sort of people who do that. Those sorts of people have never will never do anything for me.”

Yuno..

“I’m not pitiful, my family gets along great, and I’m not particularly struggling financially. I decided to do what I did of my own free will because I felt it was necessary for me.”

-End of Transcript-

Tear Drop

“Just shut it, will you? You know it all.”

During her voice drama, Yuno explains and calls to attention this new phenomenon within Milgram. Both before and after her the other prisoners conveniently omit the specifics of the information they have heard. Kazui being the most egregious display of this, as he does not bring up hearing the voices at all and only responds to questions after gaining more clarity on the situation. His entire voice drama really comes off as though he’s just leading Es by the nose.

Taking into consideration what was established through her interrogation (the implication that all the prisoners have heard the prevailing theories about their cases) who’s to say Miko has not weaponized the information he’s heard? Omitting he heard it like the others and using it to push the blame more onto the other personality. Whom if we’re being frank would more than likely be willing to take the fall for him anyway.

However, the fact that this is said,

“I (ore) did it. I (boku) didn’t do it! You saw it through Milgram! What do you think?”

Very quickly showcases to me that the one speaking is Miko here not Koto. Koto in the snippet of Double we’ve been shown is questioning what’s wrong,

“Why are you crying?”

If Koto is not aware of what is negatively impacting Miko in the song proper, why would they know what Milgram saw or how Milgram reacted to it? A thing stated to be specific to prisoners beneath Milgram’s control.

This is something alluded to during the second trial commencement notice. At that time Jackalope tells us Koto has been free and unchained this entire time.

Exempt from the rules of Milgram and unable to have punishment administered to them. This means the voices all the prisoners have been hearing as part of their punishments or rewards would not impact him.

So, once again, I ask- How the fuck would he know that anyone saw anything through Milgram? Especially the specific implication and pervasive theory that it was them (Koto) who committed the murders.

Something that gives more credence to this idea is how Koto has even interpreted the song,

“I should have saved you but why are you crying? Rely on me, praise me with your song, I am your saviour.”

As a form of praise and a way in which Miko is relying on him. Simply as if Koto doesn’t see a thing wrong with what was displayed on top of not knowing what is upsetting Miko.

How much Koto knows about the song and Milgram’s response to it is rather questionable as we’ve been expressly told he is not a prisoner proper yet.

This possible way of handling the situation on Miko’s part is oddly reminiscent to how the Devil within Not A Devil attempts to convince the viewers they’re good through lines like,

“Another clandestine rendezvous with myself. Drained, oh so drained, introspection and in prayer.”

MeMe

“Snuggle together and say, “Good night” switch, shake up that brain.”

“The minus energy that I swallowed hugged me.”

Double (though official translation liable to change)

“I should have saved you but why are you crying? Rely on me, praise me with your song, I am your saviour.”

“No worries, no worries everything’s fine. This is just a silly joke.”

Trial 1 Voice Drama

“Of course, I want to think of all this as a joke…Wouldn’t anyone?”

“Calm down, that’s just a rumor.”

MeMe

“I won’t forgive you if this is happening to me even though I’m right.”

“All those ridiculous accusations.”

“Now shut up and give me your signature. Not a devil, I’m not a devil. So, sayeth the devil.”

MeMe

“I’m probably not to blame, it’s probably nothing.” – “Why am I here? It must be a mistake, right?”

Taking the court terminology, Miko implicating Koto as the culprit with his denial firmly puts him in the role of John Doe (plaintiff) and Koto in the position of Richard Roe (defendant). Beginning a back and forth of finger pointing where Miko implicates the other and Koto can either deny the accusation or accept it.

This makes his second voice dramas title “Neoplasm” very apt naming. Because over the course of Milgram, the mold (interpretation) Mikoto was put under as this every man, silly little office worker caricature has been reshaped into to something new and abnormal.

Miko’s possible response to this new perception of his character being pretending to be Koto to fit this new shape he’s been given within the voice drama while attempting to save face isn’t surprising coming from him. He would know that Koto uses ore as well. Since, the audience has repeated it consistently over the course of the intermission. If Miko has been hearing the audience, as has been implied, it’d be very difficult for him to not be made aware of how Koto behaves.

Taking into consideration how much the other has been discussed, drawn, and written about. It has been more than shown that the prisoners know our speculations, in regard to their cases, and they’ve all been shown making attempts to confirm the validity of the statements they’ve heard over the course of their voice dramas. As such, there is a real possibility that Miko has heard the argument that the other committed the murders and he is in fact an innocent harmless individual.

Information that he’d rightfully take advantage of in this situation. Because it’d be a bit more difficult for people to condemn an innocent and harmless individual. Even if the other one did it and the only way to punish Koto was through punishing Miko a few people would be hesitant about doing such a thing. Simply put it would feel wrong to do as it’s dragging down a blameless individual just to get to someone who for all we know may not be at fault either.

We now find ourselves in a very classic dilemma-

MeMe

“The truth will come to reveal itself. I won’t forgive you if this is happening to me even though I’m right.”

“The truth will come to reveal itself. I will NEVER forgive you if this is happening to me even though I’m right.”

“So, I will NEVER forgive you if this is happening to me even though I’m right.”

At this point, or maybe even from the beginning, they’ve just been in a finger pointing competition. And things are only about to get messier.

III. Voice Drama Title

Now back to the title of the voice drama “Neoplasm” (orz). Remember how I said Neoplasm isn’t technically a word? Well, it’s technically not and is.

As many were quick to point out, Neoplasm refers to a new and abnormal growth of tissue within the human body that could either be benign or malignant. It’s a term to describe the discovery of new tissue growth such as a tumour that was not previously present. However, when this occurrence is discussed, the individual neoplasm is rarely referred to by name instead the phenomenon is usually referred to and discussed as “Neoplasia”.

As you can see in these lists of Human Anatomy & Physiology: Latin and Greek Word-Parts plasm is not included as a suffix.

Now this may seem like semantics. However, it’s incredibly important to differentiate between these two terms. Neoplasms are the result of Neoplasia. Neoplasia is when neoplasms are formed. Through naming the voice drama Neoplasm Yamanaka plainly stated that a Neoplasm has formed but Neoplasia, the act of it forming, has not been observed.

Through using this term instead of the one usually used in cases of observing (discovering) this new tissue and the process of its formation this comes off as saying though an abnormality has been observed it was present when the patient arrived. Again, unlike in the case of observing Neoplasia when doctors usually go okay this was not here several months ago but it’s here now.

Meaning, the Neoplasm is more than likely not entirely new but it shouldn’t be there, and it wouldn’t normally be there.

Let’s move onto word roots and meanings.

Now we know that Neo has an etymology from Greek

"New, Young, Recent," from Greek neos and "new, young, youthful; fresh, strange; lately, just now," from PIE root *newo-. In the physical sciences, caeno-, ceno- is used in the same sense. Paleo- is an antonym of these terms.

However, modern day definitions of the word (Yes, I said definitions!) are a bit different,

As it can mean “something new” or “new or recent, or in a modern form”.

For example, within Ace Attorney there’s a show called the “The Steel Samurai” the location of this show is stated to be Neo Olde-Tokyo. A new/revived version of old Tokyo. In this case the use of Neo and Olde together better highlight the intricacies of this word.

A more recent example of this would be NEOTWEWY. The title of the revival/follow-up game telling us out the gate this is something new built on the foundation of The World Ends With You (TWEWY). It is also, canonically, a remade form of Shibuya that Joshua made at the end of the original base game. Albeit, one made to be pretty much the same as the original.

So, while the immediate thought would be that it’s something new, it could also mean that it’s something that’s been reformed and shown as “new” that way. Something I’m sure that Miko is fully aware of. In fact, I’d say anything in reference to him would be more likely to use a pop culture meaning! Especially when you take into account his active attempts to keep up with the times and be seen as popular.

Plasm, however, has two roots in terms of etymology: Latin and Greek. In Latin, its root means “mold”. In Greek, it means “something formed”/“formation” or “to shape”.

The term also has modern-day definitions!

The first one is,

“formative or formed material (as of a cell or tissue)”

But there’s also

“Any of the components of protoplasm”

Protoplasm being the building blocks for all life on a cellular level.

In medical science it can also be used as a prefix and a suffix, but let’s focus on the suffix here.

Suffix meaning living substance, tissue.

These definitions of plasm may seem similar, but there is a difference in nuance. The first definition listed here refers to it as the material itself, specifying that it’s used in cells/tissues. The second one refers to the fact that they act as smaller parts to a whole (the whole in this case being the -cellular- foundation of life).

And the third one focuses on what the material makes as a whole. In other words, living substances and/or tissues.

Let’s move back to Koto. Well, we don’t know that much about him, right? Except, since the last trial ended, it’s been stated that he’s shown up more often. This includes in the trial two website voice lines, somewhere we’ve never seen him before! This, in addition to the usage of ore in the Double preview, seem to indicate that he’s solidifying more of an identity for himself.

Going back to the topic of the lettering choices on the CD cover real quick; specifically the division idea brought up earlier. Considering I’m as the whole and Miko and Koto as (MeMe) in this framework once again reiterates that Koto may possibly be growing a sense of identity outside of Miko and vice versa. Since Miko may be growing a more solid sense of identity as well after becoming aware of the other. You know, something you could also put as separating/dividing from Miko?

Neoplasms themselves aren’t really a big deal unless it turns out they are cancerous. In fact, benign ones are extremely common.

This is something that is once again rather fitting for Mikoto’s character and the implementation of it within Milgram. Allow me to elaborate, Mikoto as a character has subverted expectations from his first trial. There is a clear pattern with him of taking things that are usually considered normal and distorting them into something easily perceived as extreme, odd, or out of the norm.

Turning the mundane into the terrifying, a very common thing done within the horror genre.

This is one of the reasons Gunsli finds it very exciting that his second trial will be releasing in October. As it’s not just the month of his birthday but Halloween. So, she’s really hoping for some more horror inspired imagery with all those very common horror lighting tropes.

IV. Horror Influences

From static effects,

To flat lighting from a television,

Those fisheye lens sort of shot at the beginning,

Then there’s this shot,

and the usage of both anamorphic lenses and vignetting.

(Side note; if you want to look more into how lighting utilized in horror, check out this video- x)

The atmospheric lens allows the lighting to look more ethereal. This, on top of the colouring used for the lights, makes the overall shot feel cold and liminal. The usage of a wide shot also emphasises this feeling of isolation.

In addition, the pillar at the foreground on his right makes him look crowded in while the emptiness to his left highlights how alone he is. This is also where the victim comes in from. The framing and direction here make it look as though the victim is cornering Mikoto.

That combined with the vignetting, makes the shot the visual equivalent of being “between a rock and a hard place”. This is likely a representation of how Miko was feeling at the time of the crime; trapped and as if he had to do this to survive.

Leading into another point, the way that all of the shots in MeMe are set up. Is something I find interesting, because a lot of them are ones usually used for victims/horror protagonists. Something that contrasts wildly with both his crime and how callously it’s shown. This puts Mikoto in the interesting position of both predator and prey.

For Gunsli this is all the stuff that just makes a horror fan go, “Yeah, this guy... This guy fucking watches horror movies for fun doesn’t he.” while everyone else who’s normal and hasn’t watched almost every horror movie they had access to goes how do you know this- Just for her to respond with, “I’m not the one on trial here he’s the fucking murderer; this ain’t about me!”.

All while managing to draw attention to and show off Mikoto’s genuine love and eye for photography. Possibly even nodding towards a bit of an interest in cinematography.

Q.07 What are your hobbies?

Mikoto: shopping / darts / photography / cycling

Every shot in MeMe meticulously planned out and executed in a way startlingly similar to how his murders are alluded to have gone down.

All this makes it difficult for them to say the team doesn’t know what they’re doing when it comes to him. Mikoto’s character in general turns the benign into something cancerous or the mundane into something controversial. A skill that has made him the topic of many divisive conversations and instances in Milgram’s history.

The usage of neoplasm could also touch on how Koto was immediately stigmatized by most of the fandom. Just as everyone assumes the worst-case scenario from tumours showing up, they assumed the worst of Koto’s entire existence. From statements such as,

“Having a person with D.I.D being a murderer is bad rep” to “I can’t believe they gave someone with D.I.D a murderous personality again”.

All this, despite the fact we don’t know who committed the actual crime. Though we’re pretty sure it was Miko for multiple reasons Gunsli has covered elsewhere.

Closing remarks from Gunsli- It’s always fun to write with other people but it’s always the best when I get to write with Star. I initially came to her for help with this one because I was just in the worst of moods due to multiple circumstances. However, this wound up taking so long mostly because there was just so much to cover and talk about. Plus, we haven’t even went into his cover yet. I was rather excited about guessing Mikoto’s second trial cover song correctly~ However, in the excitement of that I made some rather hasty observations myself like guessing that the door was train doors. Luckily, I took a step back to observe it more and talked over a lot of things with Star. Hope people enjoy all of this and sorry for leaving the TL;DR to you Star.

Here’s my (Star’s) parting words. Or rather, image-

-We try and have fun here

#milgram #Mikoto Kayano #Kayano Mikoto #thoughts #this is like 20 pages long so heads up there

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