#he already had a death wish

[alexiethymia]

Listen, book!Lockwood who is so repressed that it just translates to beaming smiles has a special place in my heart, but at the same time I cannot stress how much I appreciate the live action series for showing us unbelievably exhausted Lockwood who’s so obviously scared that Lucy and George will eventually leave (willingly or otherwise) but still has the gall to push them away. My boy was barely pulling it together. And ofc he would be so tired that the bags under his eyes are so prominent because we’re outside of Lucy’s POV now. Lucy who’s always had rose-colored glasses when it comes to him.

Speaking of Lucy, I really do love how she calls him out. She’s so aggressive with her love. It’s like she’s demanding that George and her will love and care for him and there’s absolutely nothing Lockwood can do about it so he just better shut up and take it. Peak found family right there.

How that scene where Lockwood comes to apologize to Lucy in the kitchen had so much ‘husband in the doghouse’ vibes, and how ultimately what Lucy is really mad about is just her wanting Lockwood to value his life more. And for Lockwood to outright admit that yeah he was a bit suicidal but it’s a bit like he found a new reason for living because of Lucy and George, again I say PEAK FOUND FAMILY, this is my jam. The ease of which Lucy being Lucy calms him down. (Ugh, again the domesticity of choosing egg cups). He can’t stand when she’s mad at him and he learns about apologizing properly this time around, but when she wordlessly forgives him, you can see on his face how he could fall so quickly and deeply in love with her. That’s one thing I love so much about the live action series. While the book showed us more of Lucy’s feelings for Lockwood, I actually think the series highlights Lockwood’s feelings more in that if I hadn’t read the books beforehand, I could have easily seen it as Lockwood falling first. His abandonment issues are so prominent in the series and while they play it with humor with Fittes and Kipps, you can just see that desperation behind the lighthearted tone, and for Lucy to say that she chooses Lockwood and George anyway….!

This is basically an excuse to ramble about the little things they add in the series that I love so much, which works because we’re not restricted to Lucy’s POV, in no particular order:

How Flo can immediately see how Lockwood feels about Lucy because of the effect she has on him. Prior to that statement, she’d only met Lucy once before, but that brief meeting told her everything she needed to know. She probably knew Lockwood in the aftermath of his family’s death, so for her to see Lockwood just buttering someone’s else toast for them and being all domestic and smiley, treating another person like a family member especially considering how guarded he is, she must have thought (and rightly so) that meeting Lucy made him have an appetite for life again.

We actually get to see Fittes’ and Lockwood’s side of the fight! And it was awesome. “I’m Anthony bloody Lockwood.” I can no longer remember if that line was in the book or not but idc I love it.

George and Lucy’s scene was in the book, but the acting in the series just really sold it for me. How Lucy’s heart just broke hearing George talk about himself, especially everything he said then were feelings I’m sure she’s also had about herself. I seriously loved that last episode. George and Lucy were adorable. Again I say, found family ftw.

The rise of the Flo x George ship! “You, me, and herons!” Again I say, adorable.

There are some elements that work better in book format, but in many ways the tv series really did elevate this beloved book series. It was a wonderful, wonderful adaptation. As a reader, I couldn’t be more satisfied. As a shipper, I couldn’t be more ecstatic.

[c-hrona]

Pietà

[raticalshoez]

i'm having hyperfixation drought so i did what i did best and created a crossover episode

[lgbtlunaverse]

I'm a little bit insane about how in novel canon the whole xiyao ending where Jin Guangyao wants to die with Xichen, who accepts, which then makes jgy change his mind and pushes him away at the last second isn't actually explicit. A lot of adaptations chose to make it so but in the novel this is all VERY up for interpretation.

Here's what actually happens in the text: Lan xichen stabs jgy, jgy moves away from lan xichen, xichen follows him, wwx realizes jgy is about to open the coffin and calls "watch out!" to lan xichen. Jgy unseals nmj, pushes xichen away, nmj kills jgy and they are both dragged into the coffin which is sealed again.

Here's what wei wuxian, our narrator, thinks is happening: Jin Guangyao wanted to lead lan xichen to his death out of revenge for stabbing him. Lan Xichen, unaware, simply followed Jin Guangyao to try and stop him from getting away. Wei wuxian's warning came too late, but Jin Guangyao- for an unknown reason- changed his mind at the last second and pushed lan xichen out of danger before lan xichen had any idea of what was going on.

Here's what most fans as well as the teams behind several adpatations think is happening: Jin Guangyao leads Xichen to nmj's coffin to die with him, Xichen accepts, because of this acceptance, proof xichen still cares for him, Jin Guangyao pushes him out of harm's way. Wei Wuxian just doesn't get that gay people who aren't him or Lan Wangji exist.

Here's what ALSO MIGHT BE HAPPENING: Jin guangyao wants to die in a different way than he is currently dying. Maybe he's afraid of what'll happen to his body after his death like he was scared for his mother's, maybe he wants to confront nmj one last time now that there's nothing more for him to lose, maybe - if he can't take her body with him- he'd at least like his final resting place to be where he buried his mother. Lan Xichen thinks he's trying to get away and follows but Jin Guangyao, who despite everything doesn't want him to die, pushes him away. Xichen doesn't know what happened until it's already happened. What he would've wanted if he had known remains up in the air.

Or, alternatively: Jin Guangyao's reasons are as above, but unbeknowst to Wei Wuxian, Xichen DOES know what jgy is about to do and either misinterprets this as an invitation to all die together, or inidividually decides he, too, is done, and wants to join his sworn brothers in the grave. To Jin Guangyao this has nothing to do with Lan Xichen, and he still doesn't want him to die, so he pushes him away against Lan Xichen's wishes.

Every single one of these interpretations is unhinged and they are all supported by the original text. It's like a choose your own adventure of tragic gay endings.

[silentsockfeet]

with the obvious addendum that act 3 isn’t out yet and we can’t form true opinions until the show’s officially done, i’m still really feeling like it could have maybe benefited from a third season. they’re hitting all the right plot points and those moments are full of really intense emotion, but everything in the middle feels so underwhelming in comparison and so much of it still feels rushed to me. idk

[ariseur]

it feels so surreal that jujutsu kaisen’s done. like, no more jjk chapter leaks?? no more manga?? no disney kaisen?? 😞

[littlefankingdom]

Just thinking about how, in the universe where Bruce did killed the Joker, Jason never came back to life, like the fates themselves cursed Bruce to never get his son back as a punishment for his murder(s). And all the Batfam abandoned him, even Alfred isn't around anymore. He never adopted Dick, as it happens after Jason's death. He killed so he never got his sons and his daughter. Bruce is cursed to be alone forever as a price for the lives he has taken. He says he is fine with it, that they don't understand what need to be done, but this is Bruce Wayne we are talking about, he hates being lonely. But he isn't a protector anymore, so he is no longer a father.

[hexados-on-a-string]

mira julie and gus friendship but its literally just this

[puppyeared]

Atla live action 😐

[romance-incubomp3]

I don’t really know what I’m going to feel with new announcement/new music. I’m just in kind of a weird position this time and my sadness I’ve had over it is kind of blunted and empty and hard to pin down

[lillyosaurus]

anybody remember horizon

[queenlucythevaliant]

'Yes, that old oak with which I saw eye to eye was here in this forest,' thought Prince Andrei. 'But whereabouts?' he wondered again, looking at the left side of the road and, without realizing, without recognizing it, admiring the very oak he sought. The old oak, quite transfigured, spread out a canopy of dark, sappy green, and seemed to swoon and sway in the rays of the evening sun. There was nothing to be seen now of knotted fingers and scars, of old doubts and sorrows. Through the rough, century-old bark, even where there were no twigs, leaves had sprouted, so juicy, so young that it was hard to believe that aged veteran had borne them.

'Yes, it is the same oak,' thought Prince Andrei, and all at once he was seized by an irrational, spring-like feeling of joy and renewal. All the best moments of his life of a sudden rose to his memory. Austerlitz, with that lofty sky, the reproachful look on his dead wife's face, Pierre at the ferry, that girl thrilled by the beauty of the night, and that night itself and the moon and ... everything suddenly crowded back into his mind.

'No, life is not over at thirty-one,' Prince Andrei decided all at once, finally and irrevocably. 'It is not enough for me to know what I have in me- everyone else must know it too: Pierre, and that young girl who wanted to fly away into the sky; all of them must learn to know me, in order that my life may not be lived for myself alone.

From War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy

[claitea]

i got spoiled about it but i finally saw the cutscene at the crystal pool with professor turo myself.... sorry about being partially responsible for your dad's obsession with paradox pokemon, arven

[dent-de-leon]

Thinking again about...moments when Lucien is just so lonely and depressed and despondent. Thinking of how Molly sat alone in the tavern in Alfield and had a panic attack. How anxious he got in the gentleman's hideout when he was confronted by someone from his past--Molly expecting all the nein to turn on him and abandon him right then and there.

How much it means to hear Caleb accept him, "Perhaps we have learned all we need to learn from this conversation. Maybe it's time to turn in...I am satisfied, Mollymauk Tealeaf. For now." The way Molly sounds so sincere when he thanks him. "This is not how I expected things to go...thank you."

They're all he has now, the nein. And when Lucien's last living relative, the person he thought of as his only family--when she cuts him out of her life, he wishes he was dead. How much would it have hurt Molly then--who already lost the circus, the people who raised him--how would it feel if he was abandoned by the Mighty Nein too?

Especially after how desperately vulnerable Molly lets himself be in that moment, aching not to lose this, to lose the only people he has left--"I'm not saying that I know what I'm doing or anything, but I don't want anybody--I want this to work. I need this to work."

Molly who is always running from something, who is terrified of letting anyone get too close and finding out about Lucien and a shallow grave and how terribly hollow and Empty he always felt--

Molly's whole heart shatters when he loses Lestera. When Yasha and Jester and Fjord are all taken. He's so fiercely protective of his loved ones and can't bear the thought of losing anyone else. Yasha even berates him for rushing to the rescue of strangers, risking his own life for people he doesn't even know.

The way Lucien just wallows in his misery until someone else is there to snap him out of it, using sex as a coping mechanism to just distract himself from all his pain, wanting so badly to just be with someone and feel their warmth. Aching for companionship.

Does Molly still feel the same? Does he still try to fill that gnawing Emptiness? When he has moments where he aches to be seen for who he is, when he feels "broken" and craves affection, longing to feel more alive, whole--does he ever let himself act on those feelings? We know he's been lonely still, since Lestera. That he tries to brush it off, but still admits that painful truth to Yasha, "Suppose I could use the company, I am recently out of a relationship the hard way..."

And...months after his death, when Molly still thinks back on a gentle forehead kiss, comparing it to the last moments Lucien spent with his own lover--does he ever wish they'd had more time? That neither of them had to be alone? "A tender banishment. Caleb. Softness and light. Clammy skin under rough lips. Molly's nose brushing Caleb's hair...Those memories were gone. All of it was lost to him now. Kindness is never lost or forgotten."

Are those moments truly gone, or does that longing stay with him still? When Kingsley wakes from a long lovely dream and a terribly violent death, when he's still reeling from shock and confusion and the numbing ache of Emptiness, still trying to piece together who he is...he sill flirts with the "cute magic man," still falls back on old habits like Molly and Lucien before him.

If there are ever moments when Tealeaf starts to spiral again, when he nearly succumbs to that clawing, lonely Emptiness--does he reach out to the man he saw as, "softness and light" still? Does he still ache for a familiar touch, a tender banishment? For someone to quiet all the nightmares, and make him feel less Empty for a little while?

[longagoitwastuesday]

I'm three interactions away from spreading my Ijichi/Gojo agenda

[cacophonylily]

I regret befriending Merrill. Girl, leave that creepy eluvian alone.