#he actually makes me unwell
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No, cause, what do you mean he was innocent?? Wdym for most of his life he was a happy and kind person? Full of hope and optimism for the future. Surrounded by people he loved and trusted and did the same to him back.
What do you mean those most important to him were ripped away all at once???
Hi my name is Maria and I’m gonna scream about Barok real quick
SPOILERS FOR DGS 2-4/5
I wish some people didn’t boil him down to “racist”
Like, i totally understand why people don’t like him and if the damage is done, it’s done. But it just doesn’t sit right when people refuse to acknowledge his character growth!! Especially if they make people feel bad for liking him.
I don’t think a majority of people do this, but I have seen it happen and it’s :((
AND ALSO!! I wish I depicted it, but the lyrics aren’t just Current vs Past Barok either.
I’ve been wanting to scream this for a while but-
HE KNOWS??? HE UNDERSTANDS HES BEING IRRATIONAL HE KNOWS HIS FEELINGS ARE WRONG
AND IT HURTS HIM
He’s keeping up this facade because it was helping the crime rate. Even though it was such a monumental burden on himself.
But it was too much for him.
And that kills me.
The way he had a limit. The way he tried to be strong and selfless. The way he probably felt that burden again upon his return. The way he convinces himself that he’s willing, able, even HONORED, to uphold this awful reputation. Even though he plays no part in it truthfully
The way he never wanted to be cold, rude, and ruthless. He really is a kind-hearted soul forced to change and sink himself further and further in rage and resentment.
You can really see younger Barok still in him.
He’s such a goddamn tragedy, he makes me sob, and I’m so glad by the end of the game, he’s finally getting a brighter future 🥹
#ace attorney#the great ace attorney#barok van zieks#tgaa#dgs#my art#tgaa spoilers#dgs spoilers#I have many song lyrics I want to draw Barok too….uragh….#he actually makes me unwell#insane even#what a turn of events???#I USED TO DISLIKE THIS GUY CAN YOU BELIEVE IT???#he was such a nothing character to me…bland and a whatever burger#NOWW HES MY BABY BOY 😫😫😫 12 years older then me but shhhhh#I could revisit his cases 12 times and it wouldn’t be enough#his story and character arc and growth is BEAUTIFUL#MAKES ME SCREEEEAM#Spotify
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phil has had an elytra/his wings back for the past 2 days and hasn't said a WORD about them and it's making me kinda insane
there are two explanations for this
either he doesn't think they are real, and it's his mind playing tricks on him again
OR
he's scared to mention it at all, for fear of them being clipped and taken away from him again
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get shown affection IDIOT
#UNWELL UNWELL UNWELL IM UNWEELLLL#think about it. just how lonely Oscar was before Arthur. before Noel. before realizing he has worth as a human being#GUHGGGHH#Noel getting to be close to someone for the first time in years….#I’m sure he blames himself for anything Roland went thru before he died… now he gets to be gentle and insure someone actually makes it.#THEY MAKE ME ILL#artists on tumblr#malevolent#malevolent fanart#malevolent podcast#oscar malevolent#detective noel#noel malevolent#charlie dowd#holy ghosts#tw injury
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obsessed with baby queer buck and the hang-ups he probably doesn't even realize he has, let alone acknowledge.. newly realized bisexual evan buckley who didn't stop once to consider long-term commitment to a man he dated for 6 months as a viable option until josh spelled it out for him. and we've seen buck navigate romantic relationships before. he didn't do things by half-measure or shy away from grandiose declarations with abby or taylor. he knew he loved them without the need for an outsider's perspective. i don't think the cautiousness displayed in 806 was linked to tommy as an individual/lover so much as it was about building a life with a man — still a foreign concept, still a bit alien. not something buck could really envision for himself and by himself, unprompted (just like he remained unaware of his attraction to men until he was made to confront it with a kiss). that moment of hesitation wasn't because he was unattached to tommy or their relationship, quite the opposite according to the follow-up questions: if buck wasn't in love already, he was at least willing to be. yeah, he needed a little nudge from josh to reassess his feelings, to jump over that last barrier, but the very moment things clicked in his mind, buck was ready to cement their relationship, ready to wholeheartedly pursue a future with tommy, serious enough that he brought up the possibility of marriage someday (another first! not just first potential husband, but first potential spouse ever!!) — because buck doesn't see much value in waiting once he figures out what he wants.
#and then tommy told buck he didn't know what he wanted </3#bucktommy#this is so badly worded bc it makes me feel insane#yeah buck will kiss a man in a crowded hospital but he won't utter the word bisexual or dive much into queer history when he's usually#obsessive with research#yeah he'll celebrate their 6 month anniversary but he'll only refer to tommy as his boyfriend in a deserted cemetery#yeah he's so comfortable and happy with tommy but he won't question if he might be in love with him#uughghuaww they never should've given me (unwell bisexual) canon bi buck i want to gnaw on him like a bone#once again i beg the 911 writers to actually explore what it means to come out in your 30s after decades of believing you were straight#evan buckley#rima.txt
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mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.
now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.
He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.
(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)
The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.
The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.
And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.
(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)
The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.
anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)
#mxtx svsss#svsss au#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#luo binghe#disciple shen yuan#scum villain#svsss#*points at SQQ/SY* i want him to go nuts. as a treat. let him crumble just a little over the stress of his fate and the stress of survival#and the stress of having a lack of autonomy over a handful of his decisions. starry craves angst and she craves a very specific SQQ angst#he was a number 1 hater back in the day and lbr being a hater takes energyyyy. ive heard that this man was the BIGGEST hater i wanna#see him rip a man to shreds with nothing but his tongue and a voice that could cut marble clean in half. skin a man alive sqq you deserve i#*mortal kombat voice* FINISH HIM#i love without-a-cure but unfortunately i dont think SQQ would be able to have WAC and also survive in the abyss.#the succubi nest that adopted him tried seducing him at first. it didn't work. but he did somehow charm them with his cringefail ways#so now they have a brand new mortal big/little brother to dote on. SQQ is frankly delighted to learn all about succubi culture that doesnt#revolve around sex. he makes quite a few friends/allies in the abyss because of his pure fascination and unbiased desire to learn about#demonic culture and all the different niches and nuances of it across species. he's still going insane tho. like that's not stopping.#there's a single LBH pov chapter in the fic and its frankly so unhinged it was fantastic. he's so possessive. he straight up goes:#'oh SQQ isnt gonna be the next peak lord. he's ascending to heaven with me when i do :)' when Sha Hualing (also peak lord) told him that he#couldn't keep his disciple in the bamboo house all the time. what was SQQ gonna do when LBH ascends and he becomes the new peak lord?#gosh that first chapter is rotating around in my mind so bad. LBH was SO unwell. like losing his actual shit over SQQ near the edge.#i so want to write a oneshot abt this where SQQ is also in hysterics (albeit over slightly diff reasons) and tells LBH on his knees:#'this disciple deeply apologizes to his shizun. for he will not be ascending to the heavens with him.' right before he falls into the abyss#this au being disciple SY is for shits and giggles but i can also see it happening for regular SQQ bc 'fuck it im a dead man either way'#frothing at the mouth at this idea also being a SY-is-SJ au too. for the extra angst of SQQ trying to bear the weight of multiple lives on#his shoulders and trying to figure out what is real and what isn't and if he's meant to suffer in all of his lives no matter what he does.#not once in his life has he ever been free to do what he likes has he? self-hatred to the max. he's going mad. poor boy :]
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that wouldn't be too painful, would it? 🎥 @theriddletrades
#sweeney todd#musicaltheatreedit#broadwayedit#annaleigh ashford#josh groban#idk. this came to me in a dream and i had to make it. a demon made me do it.#bc as much as it was never going to work... there was some softness there. and i love them the mOST for giving me this.#josh looking up into her eyes as she asks him.. marshaling all his strength to bring himself to the present moment for her.#the little nod as if to say of course before he actually utters it aloud... peak romance for them actually#her fingers clutching at his shirt collar.... oh i am UNWELL all over again#also her foot on his boot during by the sea fdsklfdsjk she's so annoying i adore her#we're not even gonna get into the hand pats and chin boop bc :((((((#for the umpteenth time - I MISS THEM!!!! 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️#**#long post#otp: if you only knew
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Vettonso complaining about each other not respecting schrondinger's track limits on the radio compilation + Seb's commentary that made me a bit feral
Must include these sexy ass pics okay, it makes me feral how hard they race each other.
Also SO upset that we got this vid and there's also pictures(and presumably a vid out there somewhere) of Fernando, back then, ALSO debriefing this race. And yet we never got them together?????? Evil. Fucked up.
Imagine seeing them complaining about each other but also having to (begrudgingly if you're Fernando) compliment each other IN FRONT of each other. Maybe its a good thing it doesn't exist, bcs then I'd have a heart attack.
#this is just a supercut of the f1 vid in the source so you should watch that as well :)#thank you boo to inadvertently pointing me towards this moment cause man it makes me insane#like the added context of knowing seb was just being bratty cause he KNEW fernando was heated on the radio is SO funny#fernando's radios....actually so feral#'give back the position IMMEDIATELY'#fernando i dont have the position but i will do my best to give it to you anyways#grrrrrrr theres smth about getting to see seb discuss such a vettonso hard racing moment#he clearly respects him 🥹#but even years on you can tell hes SO pleased abt how much he was irritating fernando#this is the kinda clip that makes me wish f1 had proximity chat#them both on the radio like 'does that idiot EVEN know what hes doing'#also the annoying confidence of seb on the radio saying its fernando's fault if he gets a punctuee#and not even mentioning the fact that he could get a puncture 😭#but again. to hear him complimenting Fernando really kills me#just about his spacial awareness and how seb feels like he can always race him to the limit bcs he TRUSTS him#like that is the true f1 romance to me. racing someone hard and complaining on the radio but +#admitting that you never rly felt in danger bcs you TRUST the other driver!!!!!!!#i love sassy angry radios. they both sound so........yeah. im unwell#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#we do a little bit of f1#2014 british gp#vettonso
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jealousy really is the driving force of DamiTim as a ship. love that for them. love how Tim has the Robin mantle ripped away from him and he has to suffer the jealousy of watching Dick and Damian bond. how possessive over Dick Tim can be, to have him stolen by Dick.
even more so though, is the jealousy from Damian. how on earth do you cope when you finally get to be Robin, a role you've convinced is your birthright, and no one really likes you? every prefers the Robin who came before you? Dick regularly reminds you that he can always go and call Tim back when you act out? like the complex Damian has over Tim is unreal. Tim, who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and had everything handed to him his whole life. he never had to struggle or fight for his place like Damian did. Damian has spent his whole life fighting and proving himself, and yet he can't ever seem to truly claw the mantle of Robin away from Tim. even when Tim lets it go, becomes Red Robin, they seem to share it. Tim can slip back into the role of Robin whenever someone like Dick or Bruce need him to, because *he's* the Robin who they need. he's the Robin who was able to find Bruce. he's the Robin that Ra's wants an heir out of. he's the Robin who even Jason respects. in Damian's eyes, everything Damian has fought tooth and nail for, was handed to Tim.
so of course he's going to react to Tim with violence and aggression, especially after finding out Tim has contingency plans for him. no matter how much Damian proves himself, he's never going to be enough, especially not to Tim. and so his deep refusal to see Tim as family, to acknowledge Tim's legacy is all driven by such an angry jealousy. Tim understands aspects of Bruce's legacy that Damian doesn't, like the need to sweet talk and play nice with the elites of Gotham, even if they're corrupt. they exemplify different aspects of Robin, and the aspects that Tim exemplifies are the aspects that Damian knows he'll never fully understand and therefore holds such a deep contempt for. he wants to fight criminals, not play nice with politicians. Tim understands the side of Gotham that's utterly foreign to Damian. if anything, he represents that side of Gotham, to Damian. a pretty little rich boy who's nothing but a know-it-all and not a real son of Bruce. he can't be a Wayne. he can't be Damian's family.
and all of that angry jealousy leading to unhealthy obsession turned a weird, angry crush from Damian is just my bread and butter. that is how DamiTim should be. to me. Damian obsessed over hating Tim Drake so much he accidentally ends up sort of in love with him and that only makes Damian angrier. because he can't prove everyone right by *also* liking Tim. he can't let Ra's win like that, because frankly why wouldn't Ra's be delighted by Damian and Tim getting together. and it builds and builds with angry passive aggression towards Tim that culminates in angry hate-fucking-that's-not-just-driven-by-hate. love and hate are always viewed as opposites in shipping and i think they're the same intense passion just in different directions. and for the best ships, they're very intertwined. what is DamiTim is not the peak of that. "i put so much of myself into hating you i had no choice but to fall in love with you somewhere along the way" core. love that bleeds into hate and hate that bleeds into love. "you make me so angry i regularly passively try to kill you but not with any real effort because who would i obsess over if you were actually gone" core. murder attempts as a form of courting. contingency plans to take each other out as a love language. they're unwell.
#necrotic festerings#damitim#timdami#tim drake x damian wayne#damian wayne x tim drake#also possibly a hint of dicktim at the beginning there#i have yelled at my partner about them nonstop#so i had to put the thoughts into a tumblr post to give them peace.#i clearly favor tim in my ships we don't need to talk about it#tim drake is so weird he makes everyone else weird about him by proxy.#like sir contain that aura it's making everyone mentally ill.#i'm not a hamilton girlie at all which is why it makes me so mad Wait For It is SUCH good song for damian#like that song just IS his complex over tim#whether canon or shipping#this pulls from a variety of canon btw#like yeah mostly pre-flashpoint#but i do think the fact that in current comics canon tim keeps defaulting back to being robin#must make damian SO mentally unwell#like oh that does not help your jealousy complex does it.#and the thoughts of tim understanding the elite in ways damian doesn't are inspired by the boy wonder (2024)#which GOD is the first modern comic to fucking understand how tim and damian actually feel about each other#in a way that isn't either cartoonishly evil or makes them make up too easily#ugh. juni ba your mind.#anyway the complex damian has over tim. is fucking wild.#bc like everyone uses it to woobify poor tim for being attacked by big mean damian#which first of all stop taking panels out of context#second of all#dude no WONDER damian has a complex. i'd hate tim's ass too!!!#when i was reading batman & robin (2009) and dick casually says he can still call tim when damian acts out#what kind of threat IS that dick. sir.
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I love faroe :’]
#malevolent#malevolent podcast#faroe lester#faroe malevolent#arthur lester#he’s technically here but as hands#arthur lester malevolent#i think of her and get unwell#she actually makes me want to cry
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WHAT DOESN'T KILL ME MAKES ME WANT YOU MORE @merthurweek2023 day six —Cruel Summer
#this is technically a line from a song but i'll use it as a quote#with bonus merlin whump <3#merthurweek2023#merlin#merlinedit#merthuredit#bbc merlin#tvedit#*#w#le morte d'arthur makes me insane actually. the repressed goodbye; the devotion#the way merlin looks back after telling arthur not to be a prat and leaving his rooms#thinking that it would be the last time he saw him#and arthur never ever knew. i'm unwell. i'm unwell#merthur#*fav
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They probably almost kissed after this
They probably almost kissed after this
They probably almost kissed after this
#I am unwell#this is entirely a headcanon but it would make so much sense#I mean they were in a dark bookshop sitting in front of candlelight#literally the most romantic setting ever#then suddenly years later Aziraphale goes ’You go to fast for me Crowley’#what if they got interrupted and Aziraphale realized what he was doing and it terrified him?#WHAT IF THEY ACTUALLY DID KISS#lord help me#good omens#crowley#aziraphale#aziracrow#crowphale#ineffable husbands#gay omens#aziraphale x crowley#good omens crowley#good omens aziracrow#aziracrow good omens#crowphale good omens#good omens crowphale#crowley good omens#aziraphale and crowley#aziraphale good omens#good omens aziraphale
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truly what a guy
#malevolent#malevolent podcast#arthur lester#arthur malevolent#john doe#john malevolent#my art#ahfdgfghsdd i have so many important things to do but these two have overtaken all of my waking thoughts so i'm fucked to say the least#adgfd i just wanna talk about them with someone but no one i know has the energy for that 12h long infodump#straight up today was my first truly no work day in a few weeks and what did i do? spent half the day figuring out how i want to draw arthur#still not sure if this the direction i wanna take his design in but somehow along the process he ended up as like my ideal look on masc days#tbh i don't have the time to unpack whatever that says about me ywy#john's design is very much still a first draft but i can't think about it too much or i might just actually go insane#this podcast makes me unwell(affectionate)#the universe is so evil for not letting me just draw them all day long ywy#in an ideal world it would be no diploma no uni applications only malevolent#.....i'm gonna stop with the rambling now#so yeah go listen to malevolent
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I know it’s played as a bit at first, but Chip struggling to wield Destiny’s Blade in Gillion’s absence is so important, because that’s just it, isn’t it. The weight of his destiny is something so great, so heavy of a burden, but there hasn’t really been insight into that until recently, and now both Chip and Jay are getting a look into just how hard it is to carry such a destiny. To raise the sword that Gillion does seemingly with ease.
But despite its weight, Chip keeps it close. He uses it when he’s out of ideas, when he needs options. He holds it tight to summon water, so Pretzel will have something in her bowl. He lifts it up to summon a shield when he needs protecting from a thousand different blades that would otherwise kill him. And there’s something too about how it’s Gillian’s blade, left behind without it’s wielder, protecting his friends despite his absence. How the manifestation of this magic is an imitation of Gillian’s - the shield protecting Chip as a swirling sphere of water, the shape water spell a Gillion classic of course. Even when he’s gone, his influence, what he’s left behind in both possessions and memory, are protecting Jay and Chip.
Maybe there’s something there about how whatever destiny Gillion has felt the weight of, it will always include protecting his friends - his family. Or about how their destinies are now forever intertwined, because Chip is using this Destiny’s Blade to find Gillion and it’s now his burden to bear. And it’s hard, and it hurts, and he feels the weight of his own actions now more than ever - but Jay promises he won’t bear it alone. And even while he’s lost, and unable to protect himself - Gillion still has a hand in protecting them.
#the way he held it before going into the last room in the pyramid. a reassuring grip to calm him. I’m not normal about it#nor will I ever be#he being chip#and chip????? using summon water????????? holding Gillian’s sword????????????????? they make me SICK dude#ACTUALLY unwell#they need to reunite fucking asap dude I’m gonna lose my mind#just. Gillian still able to protect his friends chips magic manifesting the same way Gillian’s does the blade room made me fuckin crazy#he ran through with gils sword gils shield manifestation and it protected him and I’m not supposed to go crazy about the implications?#the symbolism man. or metaphor. whatever I barely graduated it’s all character analysis at the end of the day#jrwi riptide 79#jrwi#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#jay ferin#jrwi chip#z speaks
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this man has no fucking right to be THIS beautiful… jinshi my LOVE.
#jinshi my BELOVED… god he makes me so. insane#i say that a lot but he really makes me Clinically Unwell i just love him so so so so so so so much#him & maomao <3 my favs of all time <3 the only people EVER#i NEED to order all the apothecary diaries manga/light novels STAT#ALSO THE FUCKING SOUNDTRACK TO THE ANIME??? THE NEW EPISODE TODAY???#BEST ANIME SERIES EVER I’M NOT EVEN REMOTELY JOKING.#the song that was used when jinshi carried maomao out after she saved his life… i teared up & got LITERAL chills holy FUCK#let me order the books rn actually like ’m not playing around#the apothecary diaries#jinshi#personal
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"the way to handle a woman; is to love her, simply love her, merely love her"
// proposition: one doesn't choose ... who they love
#camelot#andrew burnap#Phillipa Soo#the arthurian tragedy!!#camelot musical#camelot revival#camelot broadway#king arthur#arthuriana#guinevere#sue's things: camelot#one gifset per song challenge#his lil rigmarole bit with the tulip is so cute#and his gay romancer bit too#she didn't choose who she loved and neither did he!#this is a sad song it's a tragedy#but he just loves her! simply loves her!#they love each other but cannot say#because they actually dont have a choice in who they love!#sue's things#they make me mentally unwell#sue's things: atburnap
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i cannot think about what ravage does with the few moments of autonomy we see him have rn. i cannot think about how ravage chosing to remain on the lost light with megatron was one of the biggest choices we see him make as a character in idw post him gaining a cassette frame. i cannot think about how after he makes that choice he once again fades back into the background and largely is only present to fill some sort of role for megatron- friend, confidant, thief, ect. i cannot think about ravage choosing to fight the djd even when megatron refuses to even though it means certain death. i cannot think about his last words were to and about megatron. i cannot think about how ravage's character in mtmte, from him chosing to stay on the lost light and him dying, begins and ends with megatron. i can't.
#blight rambles#transformers#maccadams#maccadam#mtmte#more than meets the eye#lost light#transformers idw#tf idw#idw tf#idw1#tf idw1#ravage#tf ravage#idw ravage#megatron#tf megatron#idw megatron#this isnt coherent but these two make me extremely unwell if you couldnt tell#i think of ravage and the autonomy he has at any given moment in idw a lot. like a lot#and mtmte especially is fun to pick at#head in hands. ravage loves megatron but at what cost.#ive been making far too many silly jokey posts about ravage i need to start posting about how i actually see him
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