#have you told a lie?

[tales-ofa-liar]

I used to write.

It was a form of an escape for me. There was a time, when I was younger, that I thought I would write until my dying breath. My mind had endless ideas and every paper would soon be filled with ink from edge to edge. I love writing as much as I love reading.

Yet, I seemed to have forgotten it.

I haven’t stopped reading, I truly don’t think there’s anything that can take reading away from me. After all, it is my first love. However, at one point I stopped looking for blank sheet of paper. At some point I stop coming up with the fantasies. At some point, my love for writing had hidden itself. I forgot how much it saved me in my younger years. I forgot the joy it brought me, to create a world so vastly different from mine. Or so closely related that it became a form of therapy for me. How as I look at my old work these longing and fear. How long to write day to night filling my head with out-worldly ideas. How I long to do something without worrying about other things, such as capitalizing from it or for others to enjoy it. But I fear so much. I fear I will look at a blank page and have no ideas come to mind. I fear I will look at my older work and see nothing but letter mushed together. But I what I fear the most, is the thought of me no longer loving to write.

For all I had as a child were the worlds of others and mine. I have fought for so much as a child, that now I feel as if I no longer hold the strength to keep fighting. So I fear that I would no longer have the strength to keep mine worlds that I have created. To kill those worlds that have saved me time and time again, that have connected to me in such a way that I can remember such vivid joy.

Fear has a strong control on me. I think it was one of the first emotions nurtured into me. In order to combat Fear I have just distant myself from emotions and things. For if I feeling nothing at all, I can no longer feel the fear. If I pushed these wants so far down, then I can survive. I have lost so much to Fear. Frankly I’m tired of it. Step by step, I’ll discover where I’ve hidden my love for writing. I should’ve fought for it like I did for my love for reading but the past isn’t something I can change. I will do right by me, and find it. Once I do I will cherish it.

For my love, isn’t something easily forgotten.

[inkskinned]

you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

[wasabi-gumdrop]

dunmeshi modern labru au where Kabru wants to try fromsoft games to understand why they’re so popular.

he gives elden ring a shot and surprise he gets fucking rolled. can’t get past tree sentinel, tries to fight Margit at level 15, put all his stats in intelligence and not enough dex, hasn’t even found a proper staff, picked warrior as his starting class.

he’s ready to uninstall but he paid full price for this game, he’s at least gonna defeat one boss goddammit. so he tries summoning players for aid and just his luck, he summons cooperator WolfChimeraWyvern.

and this cooperator is SO GOOD, he solos Margit without getting hit, and Kabru is just. in awe. so he adds him as a friend.

and that’s how he meets Laios, expert on all things fromsoft (has literally read every item description, knows the most obscure lore by heart, don’t ask him how many hours he’s played, he has all the platinums)

[pansyfemme]

im like that tweet that goes 'i'm probably nonbinary but i have a job so idc' but with my disabilities. i am too busy for a pots diagnosis rn so we ignore all that

[stubz]

warning - bad guy wants to kill people and threatens to eat them + ship invasion

General Morbius was one an accomplished soldier. He was ruthless to his enemies, loyal to those who appreciated him, and willing to do anything. He was made for war. The coalition was not, it was made for peace and thus the general was rarely if ever used.

He had been fine with this...until he rejected as captain of the main ship. A tighalax by the name of Nox was chosen instead. Nox was not ruthless, was too hesitant to make the hard decisions, was a runt.

Morbius would not let a runt replace him.

That's when he met Sine Macula, a ruler who stood for everything the coalition did but was not afraid of getting their hands dirty to do so. Morbius respects that and so he fed him information. He got away with this for several months until found out...but not caught. There was not enough proof to charge him with treason and so he laid low. His schedule became tight and rigid, work then straight home. No dawdling or talking...well not to anyone he thought were a real threat.

The human chef from the west side cafeteria, the human who was head of sanitation, the human from the youngling centre, these were the only ones he talked to. They were the only one's who understood him and listened to him. At least that's what he thought.

He had a strange feeling about why the captain's first mate had reduced the amount of tails/watchers on him and so he did some digging. Oh how he longed to rip those filthy humans apart with his teeth...how he longed to watch the life leave their eyes as they gurgled out pleas through blood...

He let them into his home, he let them know of his thoughts and desires, he told them details and secrets, he let them meet his family-touch his family with those filthy dirty hands!!

He has calls to make.

.

The general cruelly smiles as he walks through the halls and sees his former allies escorted into the cargo bay, a temporary jail until they see who is worthy to join and who is to die.

His grin widens as he steps into the command center to see the Captain wrestled to the ground along with the first mate. A muzzle is shoved into the tighalax's mouth. A shock collar is strapped around the petronlic's neck. How lovely.

Growls and curses follow him as he turns around to continue to enjoy the show. He sees dozens of his new soldiers subdue an orc with tasers and guns loaded with rubber bullets. He hopes Fenrir will see his side and join, the orc will be a wonderful soldier.

Disgust crosses his face as he sees the ships tech supports throuple make the most offensive and crude gestures to him as they're dragged to the cargo bay. How Quip ended up Glip and Kal he'll never know.

..

"So we have everyone?"

"Not yet General, we're missing 30."

"30? How was I not made aware of 30 missing crew members??" he sneers grabbing the soldier by the shoulder.

"They weren't high priority-!"

"Well they are now since you lost them! Who did you lose?!"

"Th-the youngling centre sir!"

"...the youngling centre?" he whispers.

"Y-yes, sir."

"...you lost the youngling centre? The very centre run by the disgusting humans who betrayed me?"

"Well find them right away sir-!"

"You have two hours or I'll be using your bones as the broth for my diner tonight." he releases the soldier who sprints away to his team.

...

Kim knew she was going to die if they were found. The younglings would be most likely safe, Max too if he didn't fight back, but her? She would be killed.

When Captain asked her to spy on Morbius she did so without really thinking of the danger. She wasn't going anywhere dangerous, she would just talk to him whenever she him in the ship. Just talking, easy!

But then he actually opened up to her and that's when she realized how dangerous he actually was. The 'jokes', the wishes, the cracks that let her see who he really was...it scared her. And she couldn't do anything but grit her teeth and smile.

She was still safe though. They never met off the ship. She rarely actually talked about herself, he did all the talking, she never let anything slip.

But Morbius had still found out. He had found out, played along, and now the ship has been taken over.

They've done this before, her and Max, and therefore already had a plan. Lock the door, close the blinds, turn off the lights, hide in the supply room in the secret room and block the door. No one make a sound.

Hours pass and they do their best to keep the children quiet. Do their best to take their minds off the shouts, blasts, and shots fired with whispered stories and reassurances.

By the fifth hour, she knows because Max counted to keep himself calm, all is quiet. Kim hates it. She wants to leave, she can't breathe, her heart is too loud, she-

The tiny door opens.

Standing there before the group of 30 is a youngling. Standing between them and their fate is Morando. The General's son.

The youngling's mouth opens.

....

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!" Morbius roars, sirens blaring throughout the ship nearly drowning out his voice.

"Sir! There is a fire in the youngling centre!" a soldier screams directing his comrades towards the fire.

"AND WHY ARE YOU PUTTING IT OUT?! WE'RE BLOWING THIS SHIP UP THE SECOND WE LEAVE!!"

"Your son is there sir!"

General Morbius is many things. A killer, a soldier, a liar, a betrayer, but in that moment he was only a father. And fathers' love their children.

"Kill the one who was supposed to watch him. All available soldiers with me. If my son dies I will skin you all and eat you whilst you still breathe."

General Morbius loves his child and if his child dies he will kill everyone and anyone who contributed to it.

.....

General Morbius loves his child. Morbius loves his child. He would kill for him. Die for him. And in this case forgive him.

The fire was a diversion. His son was not in any danger. His son was tricked by the disgusting humans.

Morando had found them while looking in the supply room for a toy to play with after having given his escort the slip. His son had intended to alert him, call for reinforcements. But the humans had used their silver tongues to trick him.

One last meal they said. Humans were given one last meal before defeat, before death. Morando had seen no issue with this, he respected Kim and Max, they had given him much fun and amusement.

The final meal involved fire but since the centre's kitchen was partially destroyed they asked to use Fure, a fyreian. Morando agreed once again.

They cooked, involving all the younglings, even Morando. They sat down together and ate, inviting Morando, giving him his own plate. Kim begged him to let her tell one last tale before capture, he allowed.

The comradery, a warm meal, a tale catering towards his son's taste...the humans were not as foolish nor soft as he had thought.

They lulled the youngling into a false sense of security before capturing him. Tying him up, his son. Gagging him, his child. Carrying him like a sack over their shoulder, his flesh and blood. Setting the fire and leaving Morando's shawl just outside the door to make it look like he was in there, trapped, burning...a brilliant plan.

With how little soldiers there were in the cargo bay they managed to sneak in and free their crew mates. How the orcs, rextalians, tighalaxes, and other apex species fought.

It was a swift defeat. They had taken control of the ship whilst he was distracted by the fire. They had the armory now. They had called in reinforcements. They had Morando. What else could he do but surrender?

Humans are so much crueler than others give them credit for. A species who have mastered trickery to such a degree that younglings are not even safe from them.

[ingravinoveritas]

Michael and David in season 3 of Good Omens:

[scattered-under-moonlight]

[i-like-forcefem]

Wow! My newly acquired doll thought she just got misgendered by the cashier!!!

She even tried to correct the poor clerk! She told the cashier right to her face that she’s a “guy”, you should’ve seen the look on that poor woman’s face as this “guy” wearing a pink dress with bunnies on it, carrying a plushy bigger then her head, in the squeakiest voice say that’s she’s a guy!

I’m laughing my ass off! Little dolls like her are so so silly, no one will believe her lies ever again! because she’s not a guy! She my adorable little girl and always will be

[leclercskiesahead]

shellmotorsport It's here! Part two of @charles_leclerc and @carlossainz55 playing Two Truths and a Lie! Watch and guess along. (Part 1)

[freyadragonlord]

"Why would another version of myself attack me" Oh idk Dokja.

The child in the subway station you tried to stab probably asked himself the same question.

[tales-ofa-liar]

As I once said, I grew up thinking I would die soon. It didn’t happen so now I feel restless. I don’t know what to do.

I’m so hyper focus on the ending that I’m forgetting about the actual plot. I want to have a good paying job and a place of my own. I’m trying to rush whilst reorganizing what has higher importance. In the end it’s all a jumble mess and I’m completely lost.

Comparison is the killer of oneself. Seeing other my age get their life together make me feel like I’m twenty steps behind. They are living their life and here I am barely starting mine.

Though by getting in my head like that I end up missing important details. Maybe their lives are great with no worries or maybe they too are stuck for some reason or another. They may have had a close to perfect childhood whilst I was struggling everyday. They may have an even worse one than mine but they fought to get to get to where they are now, and who am I to undermine that?

Moments like these I need to remind myself that my life was about surviving for 20 something years. Now I’m slowly trying to live it, hiccups will occur but I’m never going to be too late. I can try whatever I want whenever I want. It’s hard work believe me, just had a depressive episode like 5mins ago. I thought my life was over, it would be so much easier if it could end right now. But my child self did not survive and push me this far to just give up. Baby step even if I’m no longer a baby. Deep breaths with caring and loving word to yourself. Cry, get anger, or feel something and soak it in. It’s hard believe me. But I know one day you’ll have the “boring” life you crave for so much.

With all love,

The Biggest Liar 🩵

[faunandfloraas]

im so glad im not the only person that looks at seungmin and goes "❓tism❓" bc he is Way Too Relatable to me as a person w autism

yeah..... like I say it in jest but also..... well, yk. sometimes you notice something and you notice something and you notice something and you go Hmmmm

[thefairestfacts]

"DAPPLING IS THE BEST🗣🗣🗣❗️❗️❗️"

"NO❗️DEXVEN IS THE BEST🗣🗣🗣❗️❗️"

"HEARTLOCKES HEARTLOCKES HEARTLOCKES🗣❗️"

"IT'S OBVIOUSLY HUNTLYNN🗣❗️❗️❗️"

"KITZIE CUZ CHAOS AND ORDER🗣❗️❗️❗️"

"WHAT ABOUT DARABELLA⁉️❗️⁉️"

"ANYWAY CERISE SHOULD END UP WITH DARING🗣❗️"

"NO🗣❗️RAVEN SHOULD HAVE❗️🗣"

me:

[clowndensation]

it's like. louis attempted to tell this story to daniel the first time, broke down, and attacked him before he could finish it.

and then decades later he's convinced himself that it was leaving the story unresolved that's holding him back from living his life fully now. so he invites daniel back again. and louis is sitting poised and put together, confident in his ability to recite his history in a pretty, poignant, neat little narrative that will resolve all the guilt and yearning and emptiness inside of him. that if he can just tell a compelling, satisfying story, maybe it will actually be that, and not the life he lived through, with all the pitfalls of his own failures lurking inside.

and then season 1 ends with him once again being forced to confront that the story he wants to imagine and the life he actually lived aren't the same thing. the boundaries around his narrative are shredded and he's left exposed, and subsequently able to face his past for the first time since that original interview. and you think, you think, "well this is it. they've crossed the event horizon. there's no use hiding the truth anymore, not after it's come flooding out into the open like this"

and then season 2 opens. not only is it back to the original, practiced distance, we now have armand literally enforcing that distance. a man sitting at the table who's interjections must be disregarded, an intentional interruption to the flow of the story. he doesn't exist to aid or add detail, he exists to distract louis when he gets too deep in the story. the only time we do get louis allowing any deep truth to come out is when armand leaves the room.

it's like. louis wants a story that's true, and the truth is what he's convinced will leave him satisfied. armand wants a story that will satisfy louis, to the extent louis will accept it's true.

[officialrapunzelfitzherbert]

rip luke patterson you would have loved boygenius 😔🙏🕊

alex | reggie | julie | the whole gang | stickers! | prints! | keychains!

[mythosidhesdollhouse]

OK, DOLL FRIENDS! I'm back, I'm properly medicated, I'm full of caffeine--who's ready for me to marathon liveblog unboxing the thirty-odd dolls that have accumulated in my living room over the past couple of months because I've been too chronically ill to deal with them?