#have to make sure i credit and also for context
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ok here are some In Stars and Time thoughts: (wow! that's a lot of thoughts actually! long post warning! also warning for like every possible spoiler, don't read this if you haven't engaged with the game to your satisfaction)
I'm obsessed with the fact that the loop that ends up being the final one is the one where EVERYTHING goes wrong. I spent the whole game subconsciously building up my Perfect Final Loop in my mind, how I'd get every item to make sure I didn't miss an opportunity to use em, do all the friendquests and such... I didn't even realize I'd been building up that ideal scenario until after credits rolled! Really really cool. The timeline where Siffrin does the worst stuff he does in any loop is the one that stays. And it's still a happy ending! it's a better ending because of that! His friends saw him at his worst and still loved him! He didn't have to do everything perfect to keep them around actually! Something about that feels so right, to me.
I keep using "ludonarrative resonance" to describe this game and yeah ok I'm huffing my own farts here whipping that out but whatever, it's REAL. The player and Siffrin are on the EXACT same emotional journey as each other, we're getting tired of seeing the exact same lines over and over again right alongside them, we're taking shortcuts because we've seen it all before and just want to grab key open door grab crest etc etc make the progress go. We're starting to find these previously-charming characters grating because we've just seem them repeat the SAME lines over and over and over and OVER again until they start feeling like caricatures of themselves who we can barely feel any real compassion for any more.... It's just so.... clean, it's so perfect, to me. It helps that Siffrin is also one of the more relatable characters I've encountered in, like, media. I don't usually relate to fictional characters much, but, man, the emotional constipation, the building scorn, the depression, the Being Weird About Touch... I mentioned in another post that it's really just Siffrin and Murderbot who I've ever found viscerally relatable, of all the characters ever in media. So like, it's a pretty rare position. (I do not relate to the pun-love though. I'm funny I'm good at goofs but bad puns are extremely tedious to me. Which perhaps goes to show how well-realized Siffrin is, given that I'm able to look the other way....)
I think they could have stood to make Loop's Whole Deal a bit more obvious. I had no clue what their fucking deal was at any point. I totally missed the interaction that lets you learn about The Incident and thus get more Loop info at the end, and... it's valid to have different endings in a game of course, but... I felt like I really missed out tbh! And I had no way of knowing I had to keep interacting with the silver coin.... idk. It felt a bit like a gotcha I suppose. And Loop's deal is really cool! Holy hell! I'm doing a quick replay of the game to see more convos with them with this context, and to get the ending with them, and like--!!! There's so much here! Loop tellins Sif to use the royal We, they even tell Siffrin, like-- Loop asks Siffrin why he doesn't just tell his friends about the loops, maybe they can help, why keep it a secret? Meanwhile... Loop!Siffrin is stuck in their own helpless timefuckery world and refusing to let Siffrin know about it! The Siffrin from the Start Again timeline never learned those lessons, they're still trying to help someone else while refusing to ask for help themselves, refusing to even let on that there's a problem! And getting more and more emotionally fucked up about it! Man it's good. I guess it does make a replay more rewarding, not knowing this until the end, the first time, but so much of the game is already a replay that, idk, it does feel weird to replay it. I've already done so many repetitions y'all.... But I guess that's pretty meta, also...
Oh I'm under the impression this is not terribly uncommon but I absolutely did get got by the ?diary? that had the story of the person making a duplicate of themselves so they had someone to talk to. Like I fully thought that was describing the King and Siffrin, I spent a long time under the mistaken impression that Siffrin was a copy of the King in some capacity. Oops.... I might try to gently lead Beloved Roomie away from this interpretation when she plays it. Planning on being pretty hands-off overall but this is one area where I feel it might be justified to violate the prime directive.... But we'll see!
I wish I liked the music more..... This is a game that I think really begs for some real heartwrenching tunes to enhance all of the everything but instead none of it does it for me at all. I think that's a real shame, it's by far my biggest complaint. I'm not asking for Undertale-tier, but, at least something I'd want to put on my playlist for the emotional resonance, y'know?
THEY ACTUALLY KILLED THE KID !!!! LIKE!!!! I guess I have some biases I might should think about but I was not expecting a game that begins with so many explicit pronouns introductions (rather than just giving us context clues) and that has no real cursing to be willing to kill the kid, even impermanently? Let alone so gruesomely? I think I was expecting a much greater level of.... idk, tweeness, fanglessness, than we actually got. In spite of being a fan of insertdisc5's comics for YEARS and years! And like! Damn! Props to them!
God. God. So, like. All the ending fakeouts were fucking great. I genuinely thought the All Friendship Quests ending might be the Real One, I was prepared to be disappointed because it felt too soon and just not.... quite.... right? But I did think that was probably where it was heading! But it wasn't! I got got and it's so heartwrenching and also so satisfying, the mood whiplash from loop to loop is fucking sublime.
And-- AND! The real ending! So like. Some of the stuff I missed was just me not pursuing specific content correctly. But some of it is genuinely just, like, stuff that has no actual purpose besides flavor. Flavor, and.... The locked passphrase door in Dormont. The four-pointed leaf you can get (but not in the final loop!), the bell chime, etc etc. You can't actually really do anything with any of this stuff. But you don't know that! It feels like there's still all these loose ends! And!!! Those loose ends do their job SO WELL! The dev knows Gamer Instincts, knows people are gonna have that mental tally of boxes-yet-to-be-checked. Left some forever unchecked on purpose, which-- At the end, the real end, when Siffrin is about to talk to the Head Housemaiden and find out, for real, if this is the final loop or if it's all going to happen again, again, again. He's scared. He's traumatized! He's thought he Had It so many times! SO many times!!! Hope is terrifying! Hope is a poison! And the game has left these loose threads, and at least for me I really was not sure it was going to work. Like it seemed likely but the same metaknowledge of story structure that made me think it was likely also told me "but wait, there's all these loose threads, and the only way for them to trick us again WOULD BE to make the ending SO elaborate and epilogue-y....." I was nervous right along with Siffrin! I was uncertain! Fucking fantastic work, using my own gamer's instincts against me. Thrilled about it.
All the characters are so well realized. They all have specific relationships with each other, not just with Siffrin (Important!!!!! Huge complaint I had with BG3, they didn't put their whole pussies into this!!!!). And, and, I love how they all have different feelings about the time loops. I love that Mirabelle doesn't want "spoilers," and meanwhile Bonnie doesn't mind them and thinks of their alt-selves as like... them-but-not-them in a very cool way.
There's something about-- the way the game starts as a regular degular videogame and then graaaadually becomes, essentially, a visual novel as the actual gameplay becomes trivialized. Which itself is like, really really cool with the themes! And also, just.... I never would have picked up a straight up visual novel, I just, don't get into them, I'd rather read a book, but! I was already invested! It got its hooks into me when there was gameplay mixing things up and those hooks weren't about to let go just because the gameplay didn't super matter any more!
Straight up when we first see Red I didn't at all process that it was a Color in a game with No Colors, Canonically. They had to spell it out for me. It didn't occur to me to be surprised. I'm just too used to colors existing I guess idk. I think I wish the colors thing had gone somewhere a bit more...? I'm GUESSING it mostly originated as just a cute little explanation for why the game is all grayscale and then fit in with enough stuff to be given elevated importance (?) But it felt... hm. Underdeveloped, maybe. I think I really want more stories in this.... "Setting" and "Universe" and "Series" are not quite the right words but hopefully you get the idea. I want more so there can be one that develops that more. Not that leaving stones unturned is, like, illegal ofc. I just find the idea very compelling....
What is it with time loop stories and themes of loss that cannot be outsmarted. Man. I wondered, for so long, if Siffrin's country was going to be restored in people's minds, if that was one of the main big Plot Things we'd see. And it just didn't! Their memory is going to keep being bad, they're going to keep having all these huge tragic gaps and it's just. What can you do. At some point you have to either be permanently paralyzed by the horrific injustice you've suffered-- or you have to try to live a life. And. Man. I don't think I've actually ever encountered a story that was so much about that exact specific form of loss, the loss of one's culture, history, language! All of it. Gone from everywhere. It made me think of the obvious things and just. Man. What a howling void. The contrast with Odile's deal made it a lot more effective too I think. More of an expanded meditation upon these themes than just one toe dipping in, I guess? Hm.
Odile's battle profile pic when she's at low health is so fucking hot this cartoon character is so hot goddammit.
Game good. You're only reading this if you've already played it, I hope, so I can't use this space to recommend it in a meaningful way but. Heck. Game good.
#toasts poasts#in stars and time#isat#effort#media#I had SO MANY THOUGHTS it turns out!#way more than I realized! I just kept going!
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Got ‘im (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Captain Sterling#KUP#I guess lol#He's new! Though I have been tossing around the idea of co-opting the nameless design I made years ago and retroactively making him KUP lol#I thought of this Very Funny joke on the way home and was so excited to implement it and use VUK ZIX - which is not mine btw lol#I'm not entirely sure how to credit it? AFAIK they're not here on tumblr but I'm not sure? Big big credit to eco_mono on LJ!#It's a very cool alphabet! :D There are still some parts I don't understand - like R being a vowel but O being a consonant?#Would that make ''TRO'' an acceptable name by VUX standards? :0 I do like the idea of it being a kind of push-sound I think it's neat :)#But as you can intuit by my not actually spelling his name with a C - there wasn't a C listed in the alphabet and my silly joke crumbled :'D#But when has that stopped me! I can figure it's because C is kind of phonetically extraneous with both S and K as consonants so use K!#Sterling would probably intentionally soften the ''K'' sound so it implies a ''C'' and KUP gets so mad about it lol ♪ ''I can hear that!''#Something something harshness of tone/strength of breath while speaking - subtleties of spoken language since they're so visually different#It's fun to think about ♪#There's also something funny to the difference of ''>o<'' to a human and ''>O<'' to a VUX lol ♪#And then more thoughts about phoneticisms and translation - specifically thinking about VIJ writing the Captain's name for him#I'm still going back and forth on whether Sterling's name would be translated as two or three syllables in VUK ZIX - I kinda like both tbh#Either ''SER LIN'' or ''SET TER LIN'' - the latter with emphasis on the middle syllable and a drop-off on the first#Which would take priority? Matching syllables or the consonant T break? Maybe both for different contexts??#As well as the fact that -ing sounds wouldn't really have precedent being a vowel at the beginning followed by two consonants#So the rounded G sound at the end of his name would be completely skipped over - would they even have a soft palette to constrict??#Ahh <3 It's really fun to think about!! ♫#Anyway he goes back to explain later and KUP smacks him lol#''Do not make a crass joke at the expense of my name >O('' lol
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🍰[OPEN] 3D PIXEL COMMISSIONS!🍰
i have comms open for little low poly 3d models!! i can do humanoids and anthros, whether its fanart or your own characters/OCs! feel free to message me with any questions 💗
if you would like a model of something that doesn't fall under the basic humanoid/anthro shape, message me and we'll see if it's something I'm able to do! :D
the base price for a character model is £45 !
to order, you can message me on tumblr or order through vgen ~
my prices are in GBP, but your payment method will be able to convert it from the currency you use :)
more info/full order form below "keep reading/read more" !!
[ keep reading / read more . . . ]
💗 please make sure that you have read and agree to my terms of service before ordering! i know it's a bit lengthy, but these are always to protect me as the artist and you as the client. even if you choose not to read it, these terms will still apply to you.💗
IMPORTANT: since these are low-res models, i may have to simplify designs/omit minor details, but i'll let you know if that may be the case!~
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ORDER FORM
when you're ready to order, please copy/paste the headings with the heart bullets, fill out your answers, then message the finished form to me!
under each heading i've included some information to provide more context to help you answer the form! you don't need to copy/paste those chunks of text.
if you have any questions about anything at all, feel free to message me first!~
❥ CHARACTER(S) (£45 each):
please include images/art of your character(s) for me to reference, and a description of their personality if you'd like!
❥ PROP(S) (+£10 each): yes / no | how many
anything you would like your character to hold, or have in the image! for example, food, weapons, books, small simple pets/creatures, etc.
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i can do various simple looping animations such as idle, walk/run, sit, spin, dance, float, etc.
if you have any other ideas or more complex animation requests, feel free to send me a message before ordering!
if you order multiple characters, please specify whether you would like them to be animated together or separately! having them together/interacting in the same animation is +£15 on top of the base fee to animate each character. (for example, 2 characters interacting would be £20 (£10 per character) +£15, for a total of £35).
(!!!) if no animation is desired, you will receive a tpose turnaround .gif of your character.
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i like to share my finished models to promote my artwork & commissions, and may also stream commissions as i work on them! for these, i'll give credit to you as the character owner.
if you would prefer to keep your commission and artwork private, you may do so with an additional fee of +25% of the commission subtotal added onto to the final price.
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rush fee (+£15): i will complete your model within 2 - 3 days of purchase!
model files (+£15): i will send you the blockbench file & texture for your completed model to do as you wish for personal use only, unless you have also paid for commercial use.
3D print compatibility (+£30): i will create a version of the model without planes, making it compatible for 3D printing. the full charge includes both the fees for sending you the model files, and 3D printing compatibility.
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paypal: i'll create an invoice for you that outlines your order details!
kofi: i'll ask you to send the payment as a one-time donation after we've discussed the commission info!
[please avoid ordering through the commission page with kofi if you can! it takes payment instantly after you fill out the form without letting us discuss the commission details first. i prefer to review the finished order form & answer/ask any questions before payment since sometimes that affects the estimated pricing, and just ordering straight through kofi might make you pay less or more than what the actual total is. thank you for your understanding! <3]
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i take payment upfront via paypal or kofi before i will begin working!
estimated turnaround time will be 1 month, though it tends to be shorter than that! however, i'll update you with delays or if it's expected to take any longer than that <3
thanks so much for reading this and for all your support!! 💗
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> you can find more examples of my pixel models/animations here! <
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hi hello so for any people curious bout the dream beef i am talking about im gon chronicle it all here in a hopefully fully contextual way for both longterm weirdos and new people who dont know bout my parasocial beef w dream. ill try to keep my biases out of it somewhat but anyways,
this began with a podcast Tommyinnit and Jack Manifold have together in which they had philza as a guest. Episode 9 is currently behind a paywall on their patreon but they have a youtube channel where they post them publically as well. Not sure if they make all their episodes public eventually or not but i digress.
Twitter user _constel_ has posted 5 clips from the podcast in question that contain their discussion about dream. I have downloaded the videos but tumblr doesnt want me to put them in this post so i will try and sum up each clip as I go.
Clip 1: Phil starts talking about how once the dsmp was done people would joke about how their 'contracts' would be over and they would be allowed to talk about things behind the scenes. philza mentions the infamous philza tweet in response to dream.
for context, the main discussion is around this exchange from around february 2021, where dream 'jokingly' argues that he is responsible to tommy's high viewership on youtube:
Most of it the tweets are deleted by both parties but it was very much a whole thing. Phil has apparently joked about revealing the context of his reply 'when he retires' (mentioned clip 1).
Jack Manifold had apparently been in a call with tommyinnit when the exchange was happening and recalls tommy being extremely stressed. The context philza gives is that he was texted by tommy to look at the thread while he was going on a walk and tommy was panicking over if dream was genuine (mentioned clip 2). Philza says "I'll find out if he's fucking joking' and that he essentially vibe checked dream. Tommy also states that after the twitter exchange he legitimately wrote in his diary to never be rude to dream: "never be horrible to dream. It's not worth it. It makes me too sad". Additionally jack manifold establishes that he hated dream from the beginning, they hate each other, and that, although he acknowledges dream aided him through the dream smp, he hates how dream 'takes ownership of other people and their accomplishments because he was a guiding hand' (mentioned clip 3).
Jack manifold mentions that tommy was 16 during this exchange and philza additionally says it was out of line (Clip 4). Philza more openly talks about there being 'reds flag after red flags' with dream in clip 5.
OKAY thats honestly a vague description and theres a LOT more so watch the clips if u want. Heres another tweet 'summarizing' it as well. But anyways this of course had people talking about dream again, some people (accidentally?) acting like this is about dream smp lore, and a lot of people concerned about how tommy was afraid to upset dream and would blame himself when dream picked fights with him.
Dream's response on dreamwastaken was to tweet about how he appreciated everyone who was on the server dispite differences, as well as a zip file to download the dsmp server/world file.
Worth noting there is a limitation on how many people can download the file within 24 hours so now people are only getting an error message when trying to access it which is fucking funny. On his private he also tweeted "love and appreciate you guys <3 very happy to be uploading again :) hope to keep it rolling" (Im not cropping out the reply its funny)
Thats all hes said so far, I havent seen tommy or jack manifold talking about it either. technically it isnt outright in response to their podcast but obviously everyone is taking it as such.
final stuff/my thoughts: dream has obviously had a tendency to kinda 'take credit' for 'making' the streamers who were on the dsmp and its notable that in his tweet he still acts like his server was the reason for people's fame and relationships. Saying 'a group of creators most of which would never have collaborated under any other circumstance got together and made something really cool' is just his thinly veiled way of still taking credit for tommy's fame and the relationships he and others have made and its moronic. Not to mention dsmp was very much NOT the server that got these specific people together, i mean techno and phil met through minecraft mondays, tommy and jack manifold met both of them through smp earth i believe. Even if the dsmp wasnt a thing they probably would have collaborated with other members through mcc eventually. the idea that the dsmp was what brought them together and a bunch of minecraft clowns would 'never have collaborated under any other circumstance' is stupid.
anyways sorry this is long as shit. im going to pray dream doesnt let this go for at least 3 to 5 business days as per usual
#fuckit im tagging things#dsmp#dream smp#jack manifold#tommyinnit#philza#dream hate#spent way too much time on this.#if more happens ill add it in rbs. might try n post the clips seperately too#philza says some goodass shit
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predictions now that the trailer is out:
the intro makes it look like they go back to sonic's old cave for something. i wonder what it is
they jump out of a plane too. we NEED a "no food or movies" quip
when shadow says "you're a colorful bunch" he seems... confused? like he's not sure what's going on. makes me remember he probably hasnt seen another mobian before AND he has no context as to who these people who look like him are
sonic's getting lied to about what happened on the ark, or just straight-up not told until late in the movie
and dont worry guys we know they're pulling SOMETHING. we see a shot of shadow and gerald over maria's body while soldiers point guns at them so yeah i think the us military still killed her
the chao garden in tokyo seems like a cute ref to there being an actual irl chao garden in japan in sonic x
tom and/or maddie knocked out of commission, which causes sonic to go against GUN and get robotnik. in all the scenes with robotnik/stone there's NO implication that GUN let sonic do this and considering the robotnik family history with the ark....
iirc we saw "i found you faker" on a leaked merch package so let's get that entire scene pls
ivo "because i'm one of the idiots who lives in it" robotnik
as i said in another post, they have jessica mcfucking jones in this movie and her character got ZERO screentime in the trailer and only ONE promo image with her in it. which implies she may be doing something spoilery. like idk being an undercover nocturnal flying mammal
in relation: shadow's either working with GUN traitors or the "gerald" figure. we see missiles heading for team sonic's meeting with the commander, so it's not GUN sending the missiles and robotnik's out of commission soooo where else would shadow get those bombs
shadow: it's just me and my very real and alive grandpa gerald against the world
the totally real and alive grandpa gerald: hey grandson ivo push this button labelled "eclipse cannon" it'll be really funny i promise
also guys he's not robotnik's dad instead of grandpa in this. he calls him "pop pop" that's something people call their grandpas
IF gerald is alive and not an illusion/ai/whatever he's been alone for 50 years and is gonna be sooo sane about it. but we DO know there's a 50yr timeskip considering the last credits scene so it'd be very strange for him to uhhh still be kickin
that quill is becoming metal sonic and the midcredits scene will be a sonic heroes bit
#sonic movie 3#sonic the hedgehog 3#sonic 3#sonic cinematic universe#sonic the hedgehog#sth#scu#mine
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I always feel somehow insulted on the guy's behalf when people ascribe every single sign of personality g1deon ever exhibits to pyrrha peeking through. he is a fairly inscrutable character seen through harrow's eyes (she is also, understandably, distracted by the fact that he keeps trying to murder her lol), but credit him with at least a little bit of interiority and depth of character, huh. there must have been something there for pyrrha to have loved and trusted him so much. him saluting harrow for almost turning him inside out at dinner makes perfect sense seen in context with the way he hilariously and casually is like 'sorry about this whole thing btw, this wasn't my idea' the last time he tries to kill her, and it being pyrrha instead only opens questions of how augustine at least wouldn't have noticed the changing eye colour (HUGE risk for pyrrha to take for no good reason, if so). g1deon clearly has a kind of deep respect for a worthy opponent, as we also see with wake, and there are several times when the dios apate disaster trio are being. well, themselves, where it's noted that g1deon looks at harrow as if in quiet solidarity (even if it just freaks her out fhdssdfa). this poor guy has been sure he's losing his mind for ten thousand years and when he found out he'd apparently been fucking The one person he shouldn't during his blackouts he just. he just went with it? for a while??? it seems????? listen I'm saying this guy has got layers and he provably has Weird ideas about the capacity for coexistence between cameraderie, respect and attempted murder
idk. he's not the most charismatic presence in the books, I know, but I feel bad about the idea of denying him basic humanity and depth. and if nothing else will convince people, HOW could you disrespect pyrrha like this by assuming she was once upon a time ready to give her whole soul to a guy who's genuinely thoroughly boring and swagless
#a slight vagueblog but more about a sentiment I've seen in many different places than anyone in particular im not calling anyone out haha#the locked tomb#harrow the ninth#gideon the first#justice for gideon original flavour he's just as unhinged as the rest of them and deserves to be recognized for it
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Queen Alicent
I'm following the tv show's lead by skipping over quite a bit. One of the biggest critiques my friend and I have discussed about the show is how much of the first season is chopped up by huge time-skips. We start at the beginning, then it's three years later, then it's ten years later, then it's six... all in 10 episodes. Characters and plot lines fade back and forth as we watch two days of their lives every half-decade so season 2 has context as to why everyone hates each other. There isn't an easy 'fix' for this story problem but it doesn't necessarily make for the best viewing experience.
Which is the really long way around way of saying we are in the beginning of the end of S1 with my redesigns. Alicent has been Queen for many years, her children are theoretically older teens... but the actors of her children are in their mid-twenties so it looks comical. She has also leaned further and further into the Faith of the Seven as the years go on so I made sure to include a number of seven-pointed stars. I'm also going to attribute the veil as an accessory to the Faith of the Seven because of the costume design for the Septas (basically nuns in GoT world if you are unfamiliar and along for the ride B) ).
I am the artist! Do not post without permission & credit! Thank you! Come visit me over on: instagram, tiktok or check out my coloring book available now \ („• ֊ •„) /
https://linktr.ee/ellen.artistic
#alicent hightower#team green#fire and blood#house of the dragon#redesigning hotd#ellenart#ellen artistic#character design#digital illustration#costume design#historically inspired#house hightower#medieval hightowers
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study buddies
member — junhui x f reader genre — smut, college au word count — 1.6k synopsis — with finals right around the corner it's important that you know the vocab for the exam, and your boyfriend has the perfect study method to help you. warnings — descriptions of female anatomy (not super detailed this time), choking, marking, hair pulling, fingers in mouth, dry humping, teasing/very light degradation?, he's a little bit subby in this one (m receiving for all the above warnings) notes — requested by @pinkhwacherries & also by @tigerhoshi25 — thanks to @onlymingyus for making sure i don't sound insane !! this is feral and wildly self indulgent i hope yall like it. also very sorry to bio/med readers i'm an english major so if the anatomy terms i used are wrong plsplspls ignore it i am but a humble incompetent smut writer. if you liked this and want to see more, be sure reblog with comments or send me an ask! <3
"baby, you're never gonna pass your exam if you don't stop staring at me and start studying," jun giggles, pointing at your textbook from where he sits at the edge of your bed.
you pout and cross your arms, leaning back in your chair. you had been zoning out, watching jun play games on his phone while you're supposed to be studying. "it's not my fault you're prettier to look at."
he blushes and hides his face, leaning over your desk. "are you sure you wouldn't rather look at—" he pauses to read from your textbook, horribly mispronouncing the vocabulary, "—the sternohyoid muscle?”
"i give up," you say with a groan, leaning your head back against the chair. "it's so boring, i hate this class. why did i even take anatomy?"
he shrugs. "well, boring or not, you'll feel worse if you fail the class and have to retake credits.”
you turn to glare at him, but you know he's right. with a sigh you lean over your textbook, your head in your hands as you stare down at the words.
jun clears his throat, and you glance up at him to see what he wants now. "would it help you remember if you had… a real life example?" he says, almost shyly.
"and where exactly am i gonna find one?" you ask, cocking your eyebrow at him.
gently he takes your hand and brings it up to his neck, pressing your palm against his adam's apple. automatically you wrap your fingers around his neck, like you've done so many times before but never in this context. it catches you off-guard, your stomach beginning to warm at the feeling of his throat moving beneath your hand.
"does that feel better?" he asks, his voice suddenly a little more rough than it usually is.
you blink, trying to remember what you’re supposed to be doing right now. “better, as opposed to…?”
you can see the warmth creeping into his cheeks, but he doesn’t take back his offer. “is it helping you focus more, i mean?”
you pause, your eyes flitting over his face. exams are the absolute last thing on your mind right now. “yes—no. yes?”
he slides your textbook off the desk and onto his lap, never breaking eye contact until he looks down at the page. “submandibular triangle,” he reads.
“huh?”
he repeats the words, covering the diagram with his hand to block your view. “i’m quizzing you.”
“right.” your mind goes blank. “um… here.”
you reposition your hand, pressing your thumb gently underneath his chin. he lets out a quiet gasp, and your fingers tighten ever so slightly at the sound.
“larynx?” you move your fingers lower, and he quickly glances down at the page again, picking out another. “external jugular vein.”
“you’re giving me easy ones,” you say, lowering your hand a few centimeters. you run your thumb along the side of his throat, gently tracing the vein that bulges out. “here.”
he doesn’t have another word prepared, so you take it upon yourself to shift your hand, putting pressure on a section of his neck with your fingers.
his eyes flutter shut with a soft sigh, and the sudden urge to bite him overtakes you. ever so slowly you lean closer, your lips hovering next to him. you can hear his breath catch in his throat, feel his pulse quickening under your fingertips.
“i thought you were helping me study,” you say in a low voice, almost a whisper. your warm breath so close against his neck makes his skin prickle as his face flushes a deep shade of red.
suddenly he opens his eyes, looking down at you through his lashes. “fine. soft palate.” there’s a hint of mischief in his gaze that you recognize far too well.
you narrow your eyes at him, knowing exactly what he’s doing. “i can’t reach that one, jun. it’s inside your mouth.”
“and?”
“and i don’t think shoving my fingers in your mouth is going to help me remember all these for my exam.”
he shrugs and you can feel the muscles in his neck move, your grip still tight around him. “i think it’s worth a try.”
“you’re being difficult, junnie.” your fingers tighten again, a barely audible whimper escaping from his throat.
“maybe that’s on purpose.”
“and why would you be doing that? seems like that would make you a bad study partner.”
“maybe because i want you to kiss me instead.”
you shift your hand, cupping his neck with your palm. “well, how do you expect me to do that if my fingers are in your mouth?”
he pushes your textbook off his lap and onto the floor, giggling like it's the stupidest question he's ever heard and the answer should be obvious. “take them out first.”
you groan and pull him closer to you by the neck, crashing your lips against his. you can feel him smiling against your mouth and you know he's pleased with himself for this, so you squeeze your fingers just a little bit more until he moans.
you pull away from his mouth and start kissing his throat instead, starting at his jaw just beneath his chin and moving your lips downward. he groans and you feel his pulse jump under your tongue as you reposition your hand to press your thumb against his adam's apple.
your tongue swipes at the soft, pretty skin of his neck as you dig your fingers in and tilt his head to the side, giving you a better angle to begin sucking. he leans his head back, easily complying.
you shift from your chair and onto his lap, straddling him with your legs on either side of his thighs. you can feel his bulge pressing against your tummy as you sit down, and it gives your ego a boost knowing he's already rock hard.
the thought crosses your mind suddenly that it's a good thing you're wearing your thick fuzzy pajama pants instead of shorts like you normally do; otherwise he'd definitely be able to feel your pussy throbbing against his lap, and you're fighting not to give in to the desire so easily. you're practically dripping onto his lap, your panties sticking to you with wetness, but he doesn't need to know that just yet. right now, all you want him to focus on is how good your fingers feel on him and how much you're gonna make him regret teasing you.
his hands immediately grip your waist when you sit down, pulling you closer against his body. you start to suck harder on his neck, determined to make sure the marks you leave on him will stay for days afterwards. god, you better pass this fucking test.
you bite down on a little patch of skin and he bucks his hips up into you, fingertips squeezing your hips until his knuckles turn white. he groans loudly, a stream of barely comprehensible words flowing from his lips.
“will you be quiet?” you say, a little exasperated, but really you like the way he can't control his mouth. “you're supposed to be helping me focus.”
“i am he—” he starts, but you cut him off by sticking two fingers in his mouth, pressing down on his tongue.
“now, shut up.”
he moans in surprise but quickly accepts the intrusion, and you feel the electricity in your fingertips as he purses his lips and swirls his tongue around them. you have to hold back a moan yourself at the feeling, his spit coating your fingers and his tongue tickling your skin.
you let out a short, breathy laugh at his eagerness, rewarding him with a grind of your hips against his bulge. “good boy.”
you can see the lust flashing across his eyes at your words and it only makes you want to mark him more, finally removing your hand from around his neck and moving your fingers up to tug on the hair at the base of his scalp.
you shift your head from the side of his neck to the front, kissing up and down the column of his throat and delighting in the way he whimpers so prettily at your touch.
your exam is at the furthest back of your mind by now, but still you can't help but recall the vocab words and diagrams as you grip him. each muscle that contracts when he tries to moan around your fingers, each bone in his throat that you run your hand over, trying to ingrain it in your memory.
finally you pull your fingers out from between his lips, and he lets out a choked exhale when you wipe the spit off on his cheek, running the back of your hand along his chin to brush away his drool.
you pat his jaw gently, grinning at how out of breath he is. “you changed my mind. you're not a bad study partner, after all.”
and later that night he proves himself again, fucking you into your tiny twin mattress, his hand pressed against the back of your neck so you can feel the same pressure points as he did. and again the next morning before you leave, letting you kiss him until your mouth goes dry and trace every inch of him with your fingers.
after all that studying, needless to say, you ace your exam.
i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!
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#kvanity#kflixnet#k-labels#caratlibrary#[📌] — june.writes#jun smut#junhui smut#svt smut#seventeen smut#junhui fanfic#junhui scenarios#junhui x reader#jun imagines#jun fanfic#jun scenarios#svt scenarios#svt x reader#svt imagines#seventeen imagines#seventeen fanfic#seventeen scenarios
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Idk If you have Already Heard Dirty little secret- Nessa Barrett. But do It. Okay, Reader used to have a little crush on Ellie but all she want is a little secret, something that nobody have to know. She doesnt like Reader( she thinks) but tables turn, and Reader just like her attention when she's bored
(Sry bad english) Think of It pls.
DIRTY LITTLE SECRET. - E.W
summary. kissing in shadowed corners, sneaking out backdoors, touching in private; that was your relationship with ellie ⎯ a dirty little secret. and that's how you intended on keeping it. though, unbeknownst to you, she was fantasizing about something more permanent. notes. ok so first & foremost, i'm so so so sorry it took so long for me to write this, i have NOT been on my a game lately i fear. i put this in hc format so i'd be able to touch on a longer timeframe rather than having to fit a ton of context into a one shot, hope you don't mind!! also, i actually hadn't heard this song before, so TYSM for introducing me to it! i've been listening on repeattttt,, anyway! hope u like this! also!!! if you read in dark mode, you'll see that ellie's dialogue is in black. but if you read in light mode, it'll just look bold. i advise reading in dark mode or else it'll look a bit wonky, but if you don't i promise you'll still be able to see the difference! warnings. none of the smut is in meticulous detail, but i'll be putting warnings here nonetheless. subtop!ellie x dombottom!reader ; mentions of alcohol & brief desc of drunk sex. oral (r! receiving). head in a bathroom stall (yes we're desperate like that). grinding/ thigh riding.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆the relationship you have with ellie is a rather complex one.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆a few years prior to your acquaintance, you had the most piteous crush on her. you'd see her from afar and yearn for her to look in your direction. you see now how absolutely pathetic it had been.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆inevitably, the crush abated. however, it'd done so just in time for her to return your ardor. and so, by the time ellie actually took notice of you and began to reciprocate, you were over her. you were sick of putting so much effort into a girl who couldn't give a single shit about you.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆but, as it turned out, ellie was far more direct than you. while you spent months just staring at her from a distance, it'd only taken a few weeks of doting before she approached you.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you had to give her credit, though, seeing as she had more aplomb than you could ever dream of.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆however, it is important to note that, when she spoken to you, you'd both been absolutely wasted at a college party ⎯ so that likely had a colossal part to play in her confidence that night.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she came up to you when you were alone, a weary smile on her face. her cheeks were rosy from alcohol, her auburn hair a bit tousled. in your own drunken state of inebriety, you couldn't fathom why you'd ever stopped liking her. she was stunning.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆long story short, she only got a few flirty sentences out before you were directing her upstairs.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆altering making sure to lock the door, you'd set your red solo cup onto a nearby bookshelf before turning to face her with alluringly lustful eyes. her heart was pounding, absolutely entranced by you.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆in an instant, you were on her. her hands roamed your body as you kissed down her neck, slowly pushing her back until she fell onto the bed.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you straddled her waist, taking no time to tug her shirt over her head. she aided you, pulling it off in one swift motion. you hardly cared for the dramatics though, far more interested in getting your hands on her.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆it was a bit awkward at first, the two of you barely knowing one another and not exactly sure on how the other wished to be touched. but you got the hang on it rather quickly.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆that night was spent with drunken laughter in your chests, bare skin touching preliminarily, and the knowing it'd all be a hazy memory come morning.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆afterward, you'd simply slid your clothes back on and returned to the party. ellie was a bit shocked by this, but said nothing. she wasn't in any place to judge.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆her gaze landed on your abandoned red plastic cup on the shelf. she picked it up, intending to use it as a way to spark conversation with you. your lipstick stained the rim, her breath catching at the sight as she recalled the way those same lips felt on her body only a few moments ago.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆with a shake of her head, ellie turned on her heel and began downstairs. though, unfortunately, she was unable to find you for the rest of the night. it was like you'd simply disappeared int thin air. it was maddening, but simultaneously was it captivating.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆the following day, she'd seen you around campus a few times. but you didn't seem to notice her in return. you'd either be walking with your friends, your laughter ringing in her ears like a melody; or you'd be by yourself, speed walking as you were dangerously close to being late to your next lesson.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆in short, she was rather disappointed that she hadn't been able to talk to you. however, in all honestly, she wasn't quite sure what she'd say.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆that didn't last long, though.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆a few weeks later, she managed to catch you in the halls ⎯ albeit accidentally. in a weird twist of fate, you'd bumped into each other while rounding a corner. her face instantly lit up when she saw who it was that she knocked into. you, on the other hand, appeared rather irritated, your drink having spilt down the front of your white shirt.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆ellie apologized over and over, insisting on helping you dry off. you wanted to deny her, but she grabbed you by the wrist and tugged you into the girls' bathroom without waiting for your response.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you looked at your reflection and cursed under your breath as you saw the deep brown stain on your top. welp, your mood was now ruined for the rest of the day.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you pulled your shirt over your head, now standing in only your bra as you held the top in front of you to examine. the stain appeared to not be too bad, likely able to come out in a few washes. at that thought, relief engulfed you.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆ellie's face instantly felt hot when you took off your shirt, her eyes averting elsewhere.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"you're acting like you haven't already seen me naked." you said with an amused smirk, leaning over the sink to wash the fabric of your shirt. as you did, she couldn't help the way her eyes were drawn to your cleavage as you bent over. her heart hammered in her chest, face now painfully red.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she stood in place awkwardly for a few minutes before you rolled your eyes and beckoned her over, reminding her that she's the one who dragged you in here and that she'd claimed to help you clean it.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆ellie walked over to you, the proximity causing her stomach to churn.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆her shoulder brushed yours and her mind raced with recollections of how your body felt against hers. she suddenly felt her stomach tightening with the need to be closer.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆now, you weren't a fool. you could tell ellie was turned on. she wasn't exactly slick about it either, her eyes on your tits as you scrubbed the shirt and occasionally on your ass when you bent over. but you weren't about to give her what she wanted simply because she wanted it. no, that'd be self deprecating considering how long you spent chasing after her. it was time for ellie williams to be the one yearning.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆so instead, you continued to innocently clean your shirt, using the floral scented soap to wash it. you'd position yourself over the sink in a way you knew she'd be thirsting over ⎯ back subtly arched, breasts pushed together slightly in the mirror. yeah. she was going fucking crazy, to say the very least.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆it eventually became too much and she found herself tracing the tips of her fingers along your forearm. how she got the confidence to even touch you is beyond her. but it worked in her favor.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆because fast forward a mere five minutes and you were both in a random stall, shirt left abandoned in the sink.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you were standing with your back against the stall door, ellie on her knees before you. her tongue worked magic against your pussy as she ate you like she'd been starved her whole life.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you braced your hands on either side of the stall, using the walls to hold yourself up as you grew closer and closer to an orgasm.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆ellie's eyes were shut as she focused solely on pleasing you, mouth making out sultrily with your clit.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆when you came, it was a mess. all over her face and neck as your knees nearly collapsed under your weight. ellie hardly minded. honestly, if anything, the taste of you only made her want to do it again. and again. and again.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆needless to say, she was hooked on you.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆and you quite liked the way she treated you, uncaring for her own pleasure as she was content with just watching you come undone. the sight of your rapture was enough to please her, in turn.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆and so. this became a habit.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you'd be walking through the school halls when someone would grab you by the wrist and pull you into a random janitor's closet. you wouldn't even need light to tell who it was, the feel of her hands familiar enough for you to already begin stripping.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆alternatively, she'd be washing her hands when you'd grab the back of her shirt and pull her into a random stall. or eating lunch when you'd give her a look from across the cafeteria that'd wordlessly tell her to meet you in the bathroom.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆regardless of how it's initiated or who pulls who, the two of you always ended up in some lowlight place with your hands on the other. you enjoyed the attention she gave you, seeking her out when bored or in need something to relieve stress.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆though, for ellie, she did this because she genuinely liked you. she wanted to feel your skin on hers. she wanted to hear those pretty noises you made when you were trying to stay quiet. she wanted to be near you. all the time.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆but she knew you didn't feel the same.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆eventually, after a few months of making out in random places of solitude, ellie said something that shocked you.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you were zipping your jeans and flattening your hair in an empty classroom, situating yourself to erase any evidence of what you two had been doing. then you noticed ellie appeared a bit disheveled. like, more than normal. she was fiddling with her fingers, cheeks still rosy.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you sighed, telling her to just say whatever she was thinking. and so she did.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"i was thinking... well, we've been doing this for a while now and-" she frowned, frustrated by her own inability to speak around you. even after so long of fucking you, she couldn't seem to actually hold a conversation without stammering. "um, well, wouldn't you prefer to do it somewhere nicer? like- i dunno, my place? ...i have a dorm on campus. we can-"
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"ellie." you interrupted, pinching the bridge of your nose with a sigh. her ears instantly perked at the sound of her name on your tongue, something you so rarely uttered that she couldn't help the way she yearned to hear it again. "this isn't permanent, you know that right? i'd love to come over to sleep with you, but don't expect anything more. and i'm sorry if that comes off bitchy, but i don't want you getting the wrong impression here."
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"yeah yeah, of course not." she scoffed, feigning indifference. "i don't want anything more either. just sex. that's what i was implying too."
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you weren't sure how much you actually believed that. but you said nothing, not wanting to ruin whatever you two had going on. if ellie did like you more than she let on, you supposed you'd have to just turn a blind eye if you wished to continue your current relationship.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆that night, you arrived at her dorm with a light knock to the door.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆ellie had been stressing all day since your conversation. you told her that what you two had was nothing more than secretive fucking, but she couldn't help the way she wished that weren't true. she oftentimes found herself thinking of you during lessons, unable to focus on the professor's words. she was even failing a few subjects due to that.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she wanted to clean her dorm before you came over, but she was scared you'd be able to tell and would reprimand her for going out of her way.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆in the end, she decided to tidy it up only a little bit, picking up her clothes that'd been strewn across her floor. and then hiding her journal that was filled with doodles of your nude body.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆by the time you knocked on the door, she was nothing more than a bundle of nerves. her breathing was shaky as she moved to open the door and let you in. the moment she did, her breath hitched.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you were dressed casually, wearing something you'd likely be found sleeping in. your hair was wet, signifying that you'd just showered. she'd never seen you in with a domestic emanation ⎯ priorly having only seen you dressed up; whether that be in a skin-tight dress (the party) or the nice outfits you'd wear around campus. but something about this was different. like a new level of intimacy was just drawn.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you noticed her staring and narrowed your eyes at her. "don't you look at me like that." "like what?" "like this is real."
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she nodded, not trusting herself to speak, stepping aside to let you into her dorm. you looked around. two beds were situated on either side of the room, a messy desk wedged between them. you raised a brow, asking if she had a dorm mate and if you'd have to worry about them walking in on you. she instantly explained that her roommate, dina, hardly comes to the dorm anyway, much preferring to hang around her friends or in the library.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you seemed pleased by this, glad to know you won't be found out. a few minutes passed of small talk before the atmosphere shifted to what the two of you were most used to ⎯ lustful desperation.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆ellie locked the door before turning to see that you were already pulling your clothes off. she chuckled, nearing you as she removed her own.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you were there for hours, ellie unable to get enough of you. the sight of you in her bed, laid out like that. your damp hair unkempt, your body freshly cleaned and smelling of lavender and lilies. she just couldn't get herself away from you, pulled to your body like a fish on a hook.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆and you weren't about to complain considering she made you cum five times.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆when you two finally pulled away from each other, you didn't stay long afterward. you laid back in her bed, body slick with sweat as your bare chest rose and fell with heavy breaths. ellie laid beside you, eyes studying every inch of you she could get. she committed this moment to memory, never wanting to forget it.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆once you realized what she was doing, you huffed out a breath and shifted to pull your clothes back on. she watched you, unable to pull her gaze away. she wanted more. she wanted you in a way that nobody else got to have. but instead, she's left wondering if you're doing this with other people as well. she doesn't want to assume, and she'd never think lowly of you, but- well, she can't ask. you always shut her down when she asks personal things.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆and then, without another word, you grabbed your things and left, shutting the door softly behind you. though you made sure to peek your head out the door before exiting, making sure nobody saw you.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆this, too, quickly became a habit.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you two definitely still had your usual rendezvous throughout the day. but when the sun set, you'd sometimes sneak to her dorm. ellie wouldn't know when you were coming, having to always keep her journal hidden in case you came knocking.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆as ellie lies you down in her bed night after night, she comes to realize that she likes this a lot. she kinda enjoys the way she doesn't know how you feel. your lives are kept private, separated so that nobody else on campus has a clue that you two even know each other.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆but she knows. and you know. and that's all she truly cares for. yes, she wants more. she wants to kiss you and mean it, she wants to pull you into her arms, she wants to laugh with you. but if this is all she gets, she's grateful.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆one day, a few months after your first visit to her dorm, the atmosphere felt off to you.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you entered her dorm without knocking, that sense of unfamiliarity long having been abandoned. you walked in, seeing ellie laid back in her bed on her phone. she glanced up, heart instantly stuttering in her chest. you locked the door and walked toward her. you got onto the bed, crawling up the length of her body.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she tossed her phone aside, hands coming to your hips.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she slipped her hands under your shirt, caressing the skin of your stomach. you let out a soft sigh, reaching down to pull your shirt over your head. she stared at you, eyes pinned to your chest. you leaned down, kissing the column of her throat, leaving light bruises across her skin. she tipped her head back, her hands coming to cup your breasts.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you rolled your hips, grinding down on her as you sought out friction. she lifted her leg, thigh wedging between yours. you continued to hump her, your hands on her shoulders as you held yourself up.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she held you by your hips, fingers inching down toward your waistband. you didn't stop your movement, jolts of pleasure coursing through you as your clit rubbed against her jeans.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she slowly began to unbutton your pants. the ease of which she does it makes you a bit uneasy.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆see, when you two usually fucked, i was just lust and sex and nothing more than mere physical attraction. she normally tore your clothes off, needy and desperate. but she was taking her time today, eyes scanning your body as she undid your pants at a slow pace.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she'd done this a few times before, acting weirdly intimate with you. though, whenever you point it out, she's quick to put an end to it. you hope she does the same this time.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you paused, chest heaving as you shot her a look. she paused as well, looking up to meet your gaze.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"what're you doing?" "what do you mean?" "you're being all sensual again. we're not girlfriends, ellie, quit it."
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she frowned, face contorting into a displeased expression that you'd never seen her wear before. well, it'd never been directed at you at least. she'd always been so patient with you. and yet.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆ "well fucking excuse me. y'know, sometimes i want to be treated like a person too, not just your goddamn fuck buddy. i have feelings."
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"fuck buddy is what we agreed on." you pointed out, moving off of her lap. you sat across from her on the bed, glaring. "is it? because i don't remember being asked my opinion on all of this."
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you scoffed, "okay what is your problem? why are you acting like this?"
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"am i not allowed to voice how i feel? you tell me what to feel all the fucking time, but as soon as i show an ounce of distaste, i'm the bad guy?" "i never said you're the bad guy. i'm just asking where all this is coming from. you've never spoken out about this until now."
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"does it fucking matter where it's coming from? it's how i feel, you should respect-"
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she was interrupted by the sound of keys rattling the door. she cursed under her breath, pointing toward the closet. you hopped off the bed and hid yourself in the closet before shutting the door as softly as possible.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you watched through the cracks as a woman entered, black hair tied into a ponytail. she walked over to the desk between the beds and opened the left drawer. ellie spoke to her shortly, sounding impatient as she asked the woman what she was doing here. the woman laughed in ellie's face, reminding her that it's her dorm too. ellie scoffed, though it was clearly all playful. you remembered that ellie briefly mentioned the woman who stayed here with her. dina.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆the drawer dina was digging through had been piled with papers and books. she reached into the far back, grabbing a set of keys from it.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆dina gave ellie a quick farewell before turning on her heel and heading toward the door, casting a wink at the closet door you're hidden behind. though, before you had a moment to process what that meant, she was gone and ellie was opening the door to let you out.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you crossed your arms over your chest, looking at ellie expectantly.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she was allowed to have feeling; of course she was. but for her to keep them bundled up for almost a year, only to release them on a random fucking tuesday? that was the issue.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"i've had a horrible fucking day, alright? and i just⎯ for once, i wanted something more intimate from you than just fucking." "what could possibly be more intimate than fucking?" "not physical intimacy. i mean, like, emotional intimacy. shit that means something. was hoping you'd come over today, sure, but not because i wanted to just fuck you and leave. i wanted someone to talk to."
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you frowned, a sudden bile of guilt forming in your chest. you knew this was coming. you knew it from the moment you met ellie and saw the way she blushed when she approached you.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆but you weren't wanting a relationship at the time. you just wanted someone to fuck at some random party. and she was so good at it that you saw her and instantly wanted sex. just being near her turned you on. and it was only on a physical level. or so you thought.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆though, if you were being completely honest, you couldn't deny that you'd thought of becoming something more with her. you'd thought of her when trying to fall asleep; thought of her comforting you when you were upset; imagined kissing her more passionately, just wondering what it'd be like.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆but you'd been so tangled up in this lie that just imagining something more with ellie seems impossible. even if you know it could totally happen.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"okay." was all you said.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she raised a brow, confused by your short answer. "okay what?"
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"okay." you repeated. "we can try to be more than fuck buddies, as you call it."
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆her brows shot up instantly, unable to process what you were saying. she blinked a few times, staring at you as she waited for you to laugh at her and say it was a joke. but you didn't. instead, you held her gaze and watched her with a heaviness she wasn't used to. like you were seeing her. yo were actually seeing her.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"you're serious?" "oh, c'mon. i wouldn't lie about something like this. i'm not a fucking monster."
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she instantly rushed forward, pulling you into a hug. you laughed, hugging her back. she peppered kisses across your face before finally landing one on your lips. it felt different, like this. ellie was right, you suppose, emotional intimacy was far better than mere physical attraction.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆and, as it turned out, while there's a decent amount of dirtiness to ellie, there's nothing little nor secretive about her. so there goes your futile attempt at a dirty little secret, now made into something far more precious.
⊹ ࣪ ˖𐙚 perm. taglist. @luvsturniolo @kasqnxx @xlovla @ilovewomenfr @zzombiegirl @elliessweetheart @shawangel @defnoteleonor @abbys-muscles
⊹ ࣪ ˖𐙚 fic. taglist. @autisticintr0vert @crvcified-kinx @sleepydrr @mellifluousgirll @sapphicarribean @taylorswiftobsesser @satellitespinner @soodle-noup
#vxsellie !#ellie the last of us#ellie tlou#ellie williams#ellie willams x reader#ellie williams x female reader#ellie x fem reader#ellie x reader#ellie x you#nessa barrett#dirty little secret#aftercare album#smut#lesbian#wlw#sapphic#wlw post#the last of us#tlou2#tlou game#tlou fanfiction
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Stan Pines: A Masterclass in Character Writing and Symbolism AKA Stan is Godly, Literally (GF Writing Analysis Pt. 5)
If you're interested in reading a similar writing analysis on Ford Pines, please visit this page.
I've wanted to write a post on Stan for a long time, because I'm going to make a bold claim: he is THE best written character in Gravity Falls. I literally have never been able to find a flaw with his writing, and the reason? Not only does he have the markers of quality I mentioned in my post about Ford's writing (a want, need, character arc, realistic flaws), but...
I would also argue he is THE main protagonist and hero of Gravity Falls if I had to pin it down to just one, and his character arc matches the external conflict, that being Bill Cipher and the theme of growing up vs. staying in childhood and ego vs. selflessness, in ways that are just - and I'm not exaggerating - poetic. And the best part is, he had a lot more time and attention in the spotlight in the show than Ford, so everything I mentioned in the other post that was good about Ford's writing, ramp that up x100 for Stan.
His character also touches on multiple other fantastic themes: breaking generational trauma, healing broken familial relationships that seem unfixable, redemption, the misunderstanding of the family "fuckup" (although Stan is not that in the least, but that's part of his character arc), positive masculinity, true brotherhood, self-love, self-identity, and probably a million others I'm missing and will find out even just as I write this.
As for the godly part, well... you'll just have to read to the end. And no, I'm not kidding or exaggerating, either.
Okay, okay, gushing aside, let's get to the analysis. I'm not sure this will be as neatly structured as Ford's was, but there are just so many damn good things about Stan's writing that it's hard to stick to just one point. Let us begin.
Stan's Backstory: I Am Not Ford and That's Bad + Protecting/Providing for Family > Everything Else
So as I discussed in my post about Ford linked above, much of Stan's childhood revolved around Ford. His entire existence as a child was summed up by one question: how do I compare to Ford? This is especially emphasized in how their father, Filbrick, treated them. One of the end credits ciphers in the show reads as follows:
"A STUBBORN TOUGH NEW JERSEY NATIVE, FILBRICK WASN’T TOO CREATIVE, HAVING TWINS WAS NOT HIS PLAN, SO HE JUST SHRUGGED AND NAMED BOTH STAN."
Haha, very funny. But OUCH. Imagine knowing that your whole name is your name, was because your father only expected one son and was too lazy to come up with anything else. So literally, Stan doesn't even have his own name - his own identity - technically. Stan also was apparently the second twin born, so came in "second" even from birth, and being Ford's (either identical or very similar fraternal) twin, well... it's hard for someone to untie their identity from their brother's with those factors surrounding them as a kid.
There are many other factors that illustrate my point (Ford got Filbrick's name as his middle name, the way Filbrick literally put Stan on the lawn for sale as a kid for failing a test, etc). All in all, Ford receives their father's love, Stan does not, although we could argue that this isn't that great for Ford, not really, as I did in my post on his writing. Because it's a love that comes with a, "I'd also like to use you." attached (just like Bill, gee).
All in all, it's very obvious from all these context clues that Ford was the beloved one, and Stan was the unexpected one, from birth to the end of Gravity Falls, where he uses that to his advantage - albeit in a different context - to defeat Bill Cipher.
Worse yet, Stan happened to have a twin that was extremely smart and talented in a way that was easily noticed. Ford is a Golden Child, as I described in his own writing analysis post, and siblings of the golden child like Stan? Well... the other sibling(s) are often the Scapegoat. As the source in the last sentence states, the Scapegoat is "often blamed for family mistakes, discarded, neglected, and has been gaslighted into believing it was their fault. The scapegoated child is usually assigned at a young age and often carries this role through to adulthood and never loses the unfortunate title.". This can highly affect the Scapegoat's self-esteem, even into adulthood.
This page also covers the Golden Child vs. Scapegoat dynamic. Pay attention to these quotes from this source:
"You are the one the parent will come after when things are going wrong."
"You are subjected to their emotional and verbal abuse the most."
"You may even feel like you need to fix your broken family."
Also, take into account these panels from the comic, Lost Legends, released after Gravity Falls ended:
Yikes. A child doesn't say these things unless a parent has taught them that everything they do is wrong and they are lesser than their sibling. This kid's noticed how Filbrick looks with pride at Ford, but not him. And here's the thing: the item Stan stole in this comic that made Filbrick mad? Stan did it to clean it to make his father proud. Sound familiar? In the events of Gravity Falls, Stan works on the portal for thirty years and gets Ford back, and he gets... yelled at for it. Stan always has good intentions. Although, Ford has a point in the above comic panel: Stan does take shortcuts that get him into trouble. He did almost get jailed by the US government and end the universe to save Ford.
But this is a consistent theme with Stan's character throughout the show. Even WE as the audience first see Stan the way his family did - a conniving scoundrel and money-grubbing criminal - but through the events of the show, just as Stan's family starts to realize it, even when Stan does things that seem bad, like stealing radioactive waste, working on a portal described as a potential cause of the end of the world, has a ton of different identities, etc... we find out Stan had good intentions all along.
Even Stan's greediness? That need for money? That also stemmed from the same good intentions, because how ELSE was he going to afford Ford's mortgage to keep the Shack in order to keep working on bringing him home? It was also likely something ingrained into him from when he was kicked out. Because Filbrick told him, basically, until you make us the money that Ford losing his chance at West Coast Tech cost us, GTFO. Literally. :'(
So Stan... really IS not what he seems. He seems like a fuckup, a criminal, a liar, and a greedy conman. But really... he's a family defender, protector, and supporter. Want to have your mind blown? Intentional or not, let's look at the very first scene we see Stan in in the series:
"Oh look, I'm a monster!"
"Just kidding, I'm not. I'm someone else under what looks like a monster."
Yes. Stan's whole character arc is foreshadowed in like... three seconds in the first episode. The very first time we see him. Not just his arc, but also his role as someone that seems deceptively evil but is actually good. And not just the arc that Ford and Dipper take from distrusting Stan to finally understanding his good intentions, but also the realization WE as viewers have about Stan as we follow the story. Additionally - which we'll get into later - it's symbolic of Stan's internal character arc he takes across the series of realizing he himself isn't the monster that his father planted in his mind as a child, but a good person worthy of love.
All of that... in a few seconds of animation. If that wasn't intentional, then DAMN did the writing gods smile on the Gravity Falls team the day they planned this scene. Back to the point about who Stan really is: the family "fuckup" (not really, but we'll get to that later), and a family defender and protector. This is the true core of Stan's character throughout the whole series. Not only was he Ford's defender as a child, protecting him from bullies, but you know those scenes the fandom universally agrees on were Stan at his most badass? Ahem...
"Everything I've worked for, everything I care about, it's all for this family!"
"Turn around and look at me, you one-eyed demon! You're a real wise-guy, but you made one fatal mistake: you messed with my family."
Yeah. Look at what Stan is doing in EVERY single one of these scenes: protecting his family. And as bad as Filbrick was, just like I explained in the post I made about Ford's writing... Filbrick also passed down some things to Stan that make him the hero he is. And it's also stuff that Stan passes down to Dipper:
Yeah, it kinda sucked for Dipper at the time. Was it a perfect way of teaching a child to be tough? Er, no, although another mark of a well-written character is that they can make mistakes and have flaws; Stan's not perfect. And the fandom has criticized the way Stan passed down this lesson to Dipper, because it can be considered very similar to the way Filbrick passed it down to Stan. But look what it did: when the world fights and threatens his family, just like Stan, Dipper fights back. With punches, too:
So... to summarize this first part: Stan was taught from childhood "I'm not Ford, and that's bad. I am a monster unworthy of love that always messes up.", and his role is a family protector, which started with how he protected Ford from bullies as a child. This is the core of his self-identity. So let's get into the writing techniques that make a well-written character that I discussed in Ford's writing analysis post...
Stan's Core Want vs. Need
I'll quote my explanation of want vs. need from my own post on Ford I made about a year ago:
"When I took writing classes in college (and over years of writing in general and drooling over writing advice podcasts and blogs), I found that the best method for me, personally, when it comes to crafting characters is to focus on two major things:
1. Their want.
2. Their need.
On the surface, these look like the same things, but in character writing, they can be vastly different. For example, say that you have a character that greatly desires fame and recognition. They want these things.
But what’s the real reason behind it? Is it because they had a parent that was famous and want to live up to their example? Is it because they want to be adored by people? Is it because they were told they’d never amount to anything by someone and want to prove them wrong?
This real reason behind it all is the core need. Yes, they want fame and recognition, but they need it because, say, they have low self-esteem and need copious amounts of outside validation to boost it.
Tied to this need is usually a backstory reason (sometimes called their wound). Say your hypothetical character was bullied a lot as a child. Or abused by a parent. Etc. Whatever the wound was, it caused a big, painful hole in their heart that they try to fill and fix with their want.
So they go on a journey. The want is often the external journey. The need is often the core journey / character arc. Our example character seeks fame and recognition on an external journey, but deep inside, they realize they need something else, which is to understand that their past trauma/wound doesn’t define them, and fame and recognition will not be the balm they expect it will be. Often, they realize they had what they needed all along. They grow past their flaws associated with their seeking this want through understanding and instead pursuing the need."
I'll summarize Stan's character writing using these concepts right here, like I did for Ford in his analysis post:
“I want to be Ford because I want to be loved like he is, and I want to protect those I care about and do the right thing. But what I need is to realize is that who I am - not Ford, but Stan - was good enough all along, proven by how I've always protected those I care about, and I never NEEDED to be Ford in the first place. This stems from a wound from my childhood where I was a scapegoat child treated like a fuckup who never did anything right and could never measure up to Ford, and was conditioned to think that being like Ford was a ticket to earn familial love. I had what I needed all along: myself, because I am good enough and worthy of love, despite what my father taught me."
Stan's Arc: I Am Not Ford... and That's Okay
AKA Stan's arc is basically: learning to love yourself and be yourself, even when you were conditioned to think you have no value. Don't believe me? Guess what Stan does for thirty years: pretends to be Ford. And he literally does it by pretending to have died. He "kills" Stanley Pines AKA himself in a staged car crash to become Stanford Pines.
And guess how he defeats Bill? By pretending to be Ford. His greatest weakness is actually his strength, and then he flips it: he reveals to Bill that he's not Ford, he's actually Stan. And THAT'S when the antagonist of Gravity Falls is truly defeated - an antagonist that represents stasis, lack of change, and with The Book of Bill's context, an antagonist that never freed himself from his own past - is when Stan learns to accept himself and admit who he really is and learns to let the past go. And it's telling that this is what he says when he does it:
"Heh. Guess I was good for something after all." AKA: "Yeah, fuck what Pa said about me."
There it is. The moment of Stan realizing his father was wrong, and he was wrong for thinking himself a fuckup all those years. And this is the expression he pulls at this moment of realization; at the peak of his character arc, all while burning in flames like a phoenix reborn. It sounds corny when I put it that way, but LITERALLY, all the fire symbolism feels like it wasn't foreshadowing Stan's death, but his rebirth as himself after pretending to be Ford all those years. He's not burning who he is, he's burning away who he thought - who he was told - he was. Funny that it takes place in the mind, huh?
This is the face of a man who is at peace and finally loves himself for the first time in his life. That ain't just his mind burning. That's him punching his demon that's haunted him and his brother their whole lives, protecting his family as always, and, symbolically, punching a demon that represents the show's overall antagonist of the shackles of staying stuck in the past, forgiveness, and the value of moving on. He literally punches the antagonist - staying stuck in the past - to pieces and THAT'S when he wins.
Also, can we talk about how Bill and Filbrick share color schemes, and Filbrick even has a brick-like pattern in his suit (also, I mean... come on, he's got 'brick' in his name)? I'll let you make your own conclusion about what that means for Stan's character arc:
It's also telling that Bill Cipher's backstory is that he burned his home dimension and loved ones - including his family - to ashes. The Axolotl - Gravity Falls' equivalent of basically God, from what I can tell - says himself about Bill in one of the books released outside of the show:
"Saw his own dimension burn. Misses home and can't return. Says he's happy. He's a liar. Blame the arson for the fire."
Bill misses home. He wants the past and to hold onto his family, just like Stan and Mabel do. Isn't it funny how whenever Bill shows up... time stops?
And look what Bill says in Weirdmageddon: "This party never stops! Time is dead and meaning has no meaning!"
Time stopped. He just wants fun. He's almost like a child that never grew up. And... look at what it was that Stan wrecked in A Tale of Two Stans as a teenager:
A perpetual motion machine. That thing that's not supposed to stop, just like time. Stan 'breaking' time by wanting to hold Ford in the past, with him, instead of leaving him to go to college while Stan was stuck in the past/Glass Shard Beach? That's what broke their brotherhood.
But what makes Stan a hero, and Bill a villain, is that he lets go of the past and his childhood. Bill never does. And he's defeated when Stan lets go of the past, something Bill never did. Why? Because he has family to make facing the future easier. He has familial and self love. Bill doesn't, because he killed his own. (Sorry, got off track again, but Stan's arc and story ties so deeply to the other characters' and the main themes that it's hard not to take some detours, because it illustrates just how well-written Stan is. Gravity Falls' story IS his story.).
Wanna know something cute? Wanna know how Stan realized he had worth during that scene after he defeats Bill? Why I'm betting the show runners showed Stan clutching to a picture of Dipper and Mabel as this happens? I'll give you one guess why Dipper and Mabel are so important to Stan, and why he clutches to their photo even as his mind is burning apart in the finale:
They're the first family members since Ford (whose love he'd lost) who loved Stan for who he was, not for who they thought he should have been. Mabel trusting Stan in Not What He Seems is basically the first damn time Stan's heard in thirty plus years from a family member that, "Hey, I trust you have good intentions and aren't just a lying fuckup. You're not a monster. You're not what you seem.".
Also, he's protecting his family. That always makes him happy, too, of course.
Ego Death and the "Stan is Godly" Part
Yep, we're taking this analysis post train all the way to "damn this is deep and PrettyinPwn is likely crazy for noticing it" station. The only reason I'm tacking this part on is that I saw a Q&A with Hirsch recently that sparked my attention. He was on his The Book of Bill tour, and someone asked if there was anyone more powerful than Bill in Gravity Falls lore. Of course, Hirsch said the Axolotl, but what he said about what Bill vs. the Axolotl stands for caught my eye:
The video in question. The question and answer starts around 21:22. The quote I want to point out is, though, is what we learn about these two beings:
Hirsch: "Bill's weaknesses in terms of his overconfidence, his ego, and his lack of ability to focus on one thing at a time are things that a being that has no ego, thinks on a long scale, and does have empathy is actually stronger than him because of those things."
So when we boil the conflict of Bill vs. the Axolotl down to simple terms - what makes evil vs. good in the Gravity Falls universe - is this: ego and selfishness vs. no ego and empathy.
Guess which characters wrestle with these themes? The correct answer is: ALL of them. But especially Stan and Ford. This is really what their conflict is about at the core. They both struggled with ego and selfishness, and that's when - in the story - they lose most. But they win when they choose selflessness and empathy. When they... drum roll, please... partake in ego death.
Well, let's describe an ego death. First, we must define what an ego is (source for all of the following quotes):
Ego: "The ego is a sense of self that you develop at a young age." and, "-relates to your feelings about your own importance and abilities.".
*cough "I'm the family fuckup and poor man's version of Ford because that's what people taught me to believe in my youth." cough*
And an ego death "-is the (often instantaneous) realization that you are not truly the things you've identified with, and the "ego" or sense of self you've created in your mind is a fabrication. In some instances, it can offer a profound feeling of peace and connectedness with all that is, as the walls of separation the ego creates come crumbling down."
*cough "I'm not Ford's poor copy, I'm not a fuckup, I have worth, and I realize this in my literal mind as I pull this expression-
-of total peace as the walls of my mind literally BURN around me" cough*
And, "When one comes through on the other side having released all the things they've identified with, with only their true spirit left, Kaiser says, they begin to live from a place of pure love."
*cough "I'll hold a picture of the ones I love and realize self-love as my mind burns around me because this is who I really am: a man who protects and loves my family and my family loves me" cough*
Cheeky asides, well... aside, are you seeing what I'm getting at, folks? Look, I can't prove that Hirsch and crew intended all this, but in my opinion: you wanna know why there are so many gags of Stan or versions of him melting or burning in the show? Why fire is such an important symbol surrounding him? Why there are so many times he's killed his own identity and became a "new" man again and again and again, be it as a young grifter, or as a drifter who became his brother to bring him back again, or as an old man who "killed" his own mind to save the world and his memories returned?
Because it's ego death. The rebirth of true self from a lie you were living. That's literally what Stan's arc is a metaphor for. Even better, he reaches his character arc's zenith when he does this:
That's not an old man punching a stupid little bastard. That's an old man punching what threatens his family, punching his own past, punching his own demons, punching his brother's demon, punching his prior identity, and - given that we know that Bill is a symbol of ego now - punching the personification of literal ego and letting it burn. There are, let's count, seven symbolic meanings in that punch at the very least. Maybe eight if you count that the rightside-up triangle is the alchemical symbol for fire, and by Stan beating it, it's symbolism of his defeating the fire that's eating his memories AKA why he gets his memories back. I could find more, probably.
And yes, the chubby old conman we love so much - and is the opposite of spiritual both in action and in Hirsch's words (he's said Stan is an atheist as an adult) literally has a character arc where he attains spiritual enlightenment that aligns with the god of the Gravity Falls universe - the Axolotl, who has no ego as Hirsch said - hidden under many layers of symbolism. I don't know if Hirsch and the writing crew planned this with Stan, but holy damn... this is what I meant when I said that Stan is the best written character in Gravity Falls, even if this part was unintentional. There are just so many layers of meaning here.
And the best part? Stan was this hero all along. Everything we cheer him on for - be it punching zombies to protect his niblings or spending three decades of his life trying to get his brother back - is when he's being selfless and empathetic. We love Stan as a character because he has a big heart. He's a good person because, as we described above, he is - through beating ego in a universe where its god represents a lack of ego - godly.
No, fangirls, put the sexy Hunkle art down. I mean literally spiritually godly in the Gravity Falls universe, at least in the way good and evil is portrayed in the themes and worldbuilding. No, I'm not exaggerating, either. Let's return to that quote about the Axolotl's powers and why he's stronger than Bill:
"-that a being that has no ego, thinks on a long scale, and does have empathy is actually stronger than him (Bill) because of those things."
Well... guess what Stan does? He loses his ego so hard he regularly kills his own identity multiple times in his life and goes through a symbolic ego death, he thinks on a long scale (thirty years long), and is empathetic and selfless to the point of sacrifice. And the Axolotl in real life lore? Xolotl, the god of Aztec myth? Guess what he's a god of (source):
Why I highlighted "vulture"? Honestly, this is just a neat little thing I wanted to point out, and was a part of a massive theory I was writing about Stan and Bill that sadly never came to fruition (although I may return to it someday), but here's a hint: what was Stan and Ford's school mascot in New Jersey?
I'll let you take away from all the above what you will. Let's just say: there are a LOT of similarities between Stan and the Axolotl and its real life god counterpart, Xolotl. Does that that mean he's literally the Axolotl when I say he's godly in the Gravity Falls setting? Maybe not.
Here's one last odd something that caught my eye. This is also a leftover from that theory I mentioned above, but I'll just... leave this here, because I don't think anyone else has ever pointed it out before and it expands on what I've been talking about:
Stan in the opening. The first time we see this guy, technically. He's sitting in his favorite chair. And as we all know, he turns to look at something. But just where the hell does he turn to look?
Half of you are like, "Well, what? What's he looking at?". There's a blue glow to his right, and you know what that blue glow is? The tank, which happens to have...
Could be a coincidence, maybe unintentional, but it's... kind of odd, not gonna lie. To have a character that embodies the traits of the setting's god look over at the setting's god the first time viewers see him. Just... a bit strange... and Xolotl was also a shapeshifter god, and given that Stan goes through so many identities in his life... and axolotls are able to regenerate limbs and so are a symbol of healing and rebirth like Stan - whose whole story is about healing and having multiple "rebirths" - is...
Anyways, I've gotten far off track mentioning things from that theory just for fun that I never posted. I may still post it, so I won't spoil all of it or list any more of the very odd coincidences between Stan and the Axolotl, but all you need to know from this post is that Stan shares a lot of similarities with his setting's god in symbolism, and embodies the power of the Axolotl AKA godliness in the Gravity Falls universe: no ego, selflessness, and knowing how to play a long game, because those are exactly the traits he uses to defeat Bill, as well as the traits that help him resolve his character arc wound.
So... now what?
I'm not really sure what to put here, to be honest. This post was a lot more meandering than Ford's was, but that's because there are so many different aspects of Stan's writing that are amazing, especially in symbolism. I hope it was coherent and made sense. A part of me was considering leaving out the ego death and Axolotl parts, but I thought it interesting enough to keep in. Let me know your thoughts!
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Recognizing AI Generated Images, Danmei Edition
Heyo, @unforth here! I run some danmei art blogs (@mdzsartreblogs, @tgcfartreblogs, @svsssartreblogs, @zhenhunartreblogs, @erhaartreblogs, @dmbjartreblogs, @tykartreblogs, and @cnovelartreblogs) which means I see a LOT of danmei art, and I go through the main fandom tags more-or-less every day.
Today, for the first time, I spotted someone posting AI-generated images (I refuse to call them AI "art" - and to be clear, that's correct of me, because at least in the US it literally LEGALLY isn't art) without any label indicating they were AI generated. I am not necessarily against the existence of AI-generated images (though really...considering all the legal issues and the risks of misuse, I'm basically against them); I think they potentially have uses in certain contexts (such as for making references) and I also think that regardless of our opinions, we're stuck with them, but they're also clearly not art and I don't reblog them to the art side blogs.
The images I spotted today had multiple "tells," but they were still accumulating notes, and I thought it might be a good moment to step back and point out some of the more obvious tells because my sense is that a LOT of people are against AI-generated images being treated as art, and that these people wouldn't want to support an AI-generator user who tried to foist off their work as actual artwork, but that people don't actually necessarily know how to IDENTIFY those works and therefore can inadvertently reblog works that they'd never support if they were correctly identified. (Similar to how the person who reposts and says "credit to the artist" is an asshole but they're not the same as someone who reposts without any credit at all and goes out of their way to make it look like they ARE the artist when they're not).
Toward that end, I've downloaded all the images I spotted on this person's account and I'm going to use them to highlight the things that led me to think they were AI art - they posted a total of 5 images to a few major danmei tags the last couple days, and several other images not to specific fandoms (I examined 8 images total). The first couple I was suspicious, but it wasn't til this morning that I spotted one so obvious that it couldn't be anything BUT AI art. I am NOT going to name the person who did this. The purpose of this post is purely educational. I have no interest whatsoever in bullying one rando. Please don't try to identify them; who they are is genuinely irrelevant, what matters is learning how to recognize AI art in general and not spreading it around, just like the goal of education about reposting is to help make sure that people who repost don't get notes on their theft, to help people recognize the signs so that the incentive to be dishonest about this stuff is removed.
But first: Why is treating AI-generated images as art bad?
I'm no expert and this won't be exhaustive, but I do think it's important to first discuss why this matters.
On the surface, it's PERHAPS harmless for someone to post AI-generated images provided that the image is clearly labeled as AI-generated. I say "perhaps" because in the end, as far as I'm aware, there isn't a single AI-generation engine that's built on legally-sourced artwork. Every AI (again, to the best of my knowledge) has been trained using copyrighted images usually without the permission of the artists. Indeed, this is the source of multiple current lawsuits. (and another)
But putting that aside (as if it can be put aside that AI image generators are literally unethically built), it's still problematic to support the images being treated as art. Artists spend thousands of hours learning their craft, honing it, sharing their creations, building their audiences. This is what they sell when they offer commissions, prints, etc. This can never be replicated by a computer, and to treat an AI-generated image as in any way equivalent is honestly rude, inappropriate, disgusting imo. This isn't "harmless"; supporting AI image creation engines is damaging to real people and their actual livelihoods. Like, the images might be beautiful, but they're not art. I'm honestly dreading someone managing to convince fandom that their AI-generated works are actual art, and then cashing in on commissions, prints, etc., because people can't be fussed to learn the difference. We really can't let this happen, guys. Fanartists are one of the most vibrant, important, prominent groups in all our fandoms, and we have to support them and do our part to protect them.
As if those two points aren't enough, there's already growing evidence that AI-generated works are being used to further propagandists. There are false images circulating of violence at protests, deep-fakes of various kinds that are helping the worst elements of society to push their horrid agendas. As long as that's a facet of AI-generated works, they'll always be dangerous.
I could go on, but really this isn't the main point of my post and I don't want to get bogged down. Other people have said more eloquently than I why AI-generated images are bad. Read those. (I tried to find a good one to link but sadly failed; if anyone knows a good post, feel free to send it and I'll add the link to the post).
Basically: I think a legally trained AI-image generator that had built-in clear watermarks could be a fun toy for people who want reference images or just to play with making pseudo-art. But...that's not what we have, and what we do have is built on theft and supports dystopia so, uh. Yeah fuck AI-generated images.
How to recognize AI-Generated Images Made in an Eastern Danmei Art Style
NOTE: I LEARNED ALL THE BASIC ON SPOTTING AI-GENERATED IMAGES FROM THIS POST. I'll own I still kinda had the wool over my eyes until I read that post - I knew AI stuff was out there but I hadn't really looked closely enough to have my eyes open for specific signs. Reading that entire post taught me a lot, and what I learned is the foundation of this post.
This post shouldn't be treated as a universal guide. I'm specifically looking at the tells on the kind of art that people in danmei fandoms often see coming from Weibo and other Chinese, Japanese, and Korean platforms, works made by real artists. For example, the work of Foxking (狐狸大王a), kokirapsd, and Changyang (who is an official artist for MDZS, TGCF, and other danmei works). This work shares a smooth use of color, an aim toward a certain flavor of realism, an ethereal quality to the lighting, and many other features. (Disclaimer: I am not an artist. Putting things in arty terms is really not my forte. Sorry.)
So, that's what these AI-generated images are emulating. And on the surface, they look good! Like...
...that's uncontestably a pretty picture (the white box is covering the "artist's" watermark.) And on a glance, it doesn't necessarily scream "AI generated"! But the devil is in the details, and the details are what this post is about. And that picture? Is definitely AI generated.
This post is based on 8 works I grabbed from a single person's account, all posted as their own work and watermarked as such. Some of the things that are giveaways only really show when looking at multiple pieces. I'm gonna start with those, and then I'll highlight some of the specifics I spotted that caused me to go from "suspicious" to "oh yeah no these are definitely not art."
Sign 1: all the images are the exact same size. I mean, to the pixel: 512 x 682 pixels (or 682 x 512, depending on landscape or portrait orientation). This makes zero sense. Why would an artist trim all their pieces to that size? It's not the ideal Tumblr display size (that's 500 x 750 pixels). If you check any actual artist's page and look at the full-size of several of their images, they'll all be different sizes as they trimmed, refined, and otherwise targeted around their original canvas size to get the results they wanted.
Sign 2: pixelated. At the shrunken size displayed on, say, a mobile Tumblr feed, the image looks fine, but even just opening the full size upload, the whole thing is pixelated. Now, this is probably the least useful sign; a lot of artists reduce the resolution/dpi/etc. on their uploaded works so that people don't steal them. But, taken in conjunction with everything else, it's definitely a sign.
Those are the two most obvious overall things - the things I didn't notice until I looked at all the uploads. The specifics are really what tells, though. Which leads to...
Sign 3: the overall work appears to have a very high degree of polish, as if it were made by an artist who really really knows what they're doing, but on inspection - sometimes even on really, REALLY cursory inspect - the details make zero sense and reflect the kinds of mistakes that a real artist would never make.
So, here's the image that I saw that "gave it away" to me, and caused me to re-examine the images that had first struck me as off but that I hadn't been able to immediately put my finger on the problem. I've circled some of the spots that are flagrant.
Do you see yet? Yes? Awesome, you're getting it. No? Okay, let's go point by point, with close ups.
Sign 4: HANDS. Hands are currently AI's biggest weakness, though they've been getting better quickly and honestly that's terrifying. But whatever AI generated this picture clearly doesn't get hands yet, because that hand is truly an eldritch horror. Look at this thing:
It has two palms. It has seven fingers. It's basically two hands overlaid over each other, except one of those hands only has four fingers and the other has three. Seeing this hand was how I went from "umm...maybe they're fake? Maybe they're not???" to "oh god why is ANYONE reblogging this when it's this obvious?" WATCH THE HANDS. (Go back up to that first one posted and look at the hand, you'll see. Or just look right below at this crop.) Here's some other hands:
Sign 5: Hair and shadows. Once I started inspecting these images, the shadows of the hair on the face was one of the things that was most consistently fucked up across all the uploaded pictures. Take a look:
There's shadows of tendrils on the forehead, but there's no corresponding hair that could possibly have made those shadows. Likewise there's a whole bunch of shadows on the cheeks. Where are those coming from? There's no possible source in the rest of the image. Here's some other hair with unrelated wonky shadows:
Sign 6: Decorative motifs that are really just meaningless squiggles. Like, artists, especially those who make fanart, put actual thought into what the small motifs are on their works. Like, in TGCF, an artist will often use a butterfly motif or a flower petal motif to reflect things about the characters. An AI, though, can only approximate a pattern and it can't imbue those with meanings. So you end up with this:
What is that? It's nothing, that's what. It's a bunch of squiggles. Here's some other meaningless squiggle motifs (and a more zoomed-in version of the one just above):
Sign 7: closely related to meaningless squiggle motifs is motifs that DO look like something, but aren't followed through in any way that makes sense. For example, an outer garment where the motifs on the left and the right shoulder/chest are completely different, or a piece of cloth that's supposed to be all one piece but that that has different patterns on different sections of it. Both of these happen in the example piece, see?
The first images on the top left is the left and right shoulder side by side. The right side has a scalloped edge; the left doesn't. Likewise, in the right top picture, you can see the two under-robe lapels; one has a gold decoration and the other doesn't. And then the third/bottom image shows three sections of the veil. One (on the left) has that kind of blue arcy decoration, which doesn't follow the folds of the cloth very well and looks weird and appears at one point to be OVER the hair instead of behind it. The second, on top of the bottom images, shows a similar motif, except now it's gold, and it looks more like a hair decoration than like part of the veil. The third is also part of the same veil but it has no decorations at all. Nothing about this makes any sense whatsoever. Why would any artist intentionally do it that way? Or, more specifically, why would any artist who has this apparent level of technical skill ever make a mistake like this?
They wouldn't.
Some more nonsensical patterns, bad mirrors, etc. (I often put left/right shoulders side by side so that it'd be clearer, sorry if it's weird):
Sign 8: bizarre architecture, weird furniture, etc. Most of the images I'm examining for this post have only partial backgrounds, so it's hard to really focus on this, but it's something that the post I linked (this one) talks about a lot. So, like, an artist will put actual thought into how their construction works, but an AI won't because an AI can't. There's no background in my main example image, but take a look at this from another of my images:
On a glance it's beautiful. On a few seconds actually staring it's just fucking bizarre. The part of the ceiling on the right appears to be domed maybe? But then there's a hard angle, then another. The windows on the right have lots of panes, but then the one on the middle-left is just a single panel, and the ones on the far left have a complete different pane model. Meanwhile, also on the left side at the middle, there's that dark gray...something...with an arch that mimics the background arches except it goes no where, connects to nothing, and has no apparent relationship to anything else going on architecturally. And, while the ceiling curves, the back wall is straight AND shows more arches in the background even though the ceiling looks to end. And yes, some of this is possible architecture, but taken as a whole, it's just gibberish. Why would anyone who paints THAT WELL paint a building to look like THAT? They wouldn't. It's nonsense. It's the art equivalent of word salad. When we look at a sentence and it's like "dog makes a rhythmical salad to betray on the frame time plot" it almost resembles something that might mean something but it's clearly nonsense. This background is that sentence, as art.
Sign 9: all kinds of little things that make zero sense. In the example image, I circled where a section of the hair goes BELOW the inner robe. That's not impossible but it just makes zero sense. As with many of these, it's the kind of thing that taken alone, I'd probably just think "well, that was A Choice," but combined with all the other weird things it stands out as another sign that something here is really, really off. Here's a collection of similar "wtf?" moments I spotted across the images I looked at (I'm worried I'm gonna hit the Tumblr image cap, hence throwing these all in one, lol.)
You have to remember that an actual artist will do things for a reason. And we, as viewers, are so used to viewing art with that in mind that we often fill in reasons even when there aren't. Like, in the image just about this, I said, "what the heck are these flowers growing on?" And honestly, I COULD come up with explanations. But that doesn't mean it actually makes sense, and there's no REASON for it whatsoever. The theoretical same flowers are, in a different shot, growing unsupported! So...what gives??? The answer is nothing gives. Because these pieces are nothing. The AI has no reason, it's just tossing in random aesthetic pieces together in a mishmash, and the person who generated them is just re-generating and refining until they get something that looks "close enough" to what they wanted. It never was supposed to make sense, so of course it doesn't.
In conclusion...
After years of effort, artists have gotten across to most of fandom that reposts are bad, and helped us learn strategies for helping us recognize reposts, and given us an idea of what to do when we find one.
Fandom is just at the beginning of this process as it applies to AI-generated images. There's a LOT of education that has to be done - about why AI-generated images are bad (the unethical training using copyrighted images without permission is, imo, critical to understanding this), and about how to spot them, and then finally about what to do when you DO find them.
With reposts, we know "tell original artist, DCMA takedowns, etc." That's not the same with these AI-images. There's no original owner. There's no owner at all - in the US, at least, they literally cannot be copyrighted. Which is why I'm not even worrying about "credit" on this post - there's nothing stolen, cause there's nothing made. So what should you do?
Nothing. The answer is, just as the creator has essentially done nothing, you should also do nothing. Don't engage. Don't reblog. Don't commission the creator or buy their art prints. If they do it persistently and it bothers you, block them. If you see one you really like, and decide to reblog it, fine, go for it, but mark it clearly - put in the ACTUAL COMMENTS (not just in the tags!) that it's AI art, and that you thought it was pretty anyway. But honestly, it'd be better to not engage, especially since as this grows it's inevitable that some actual artists are going to start getting accused of posting AI-generated images by over-zealous people. Everyone who gets a shadow wrong isn't posting AI-generated images. A lot of these details are insanely difficult to get correct, and lots of even very skilled, accomplished artists, if you go over their work with a magnifying glass you're going to find at least some of these things, some weirdnesses that make no sense, some shadows that are off, some fingers that are just ugh (really, getting hands wrong is so relatable. hands are the fucking worst). It's not about "this is bad art/not art because the hand is wrong," it's specifically about the ways that it's wrong, the way a computer randomly throws pieces together versus how actual people make actual mistakes. It's all of the little signs taken as a whole to say "no one who could produce a piece that, on the surface, looks this nice, could possibly make THIS MANY small 'mistakes.'"
The absolute best thing you can do if you see AI-generated images being treated as real art is just nothing. Support actual artists you love, and don't spread the fakes.
Thanks for your time, everyone. Good luck avoiding AI-generated pieces in the future, please signal boost this, and feel free to get in touch if you think I can help you with anything related to this.
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Something I've noticed for a while is that Akechi doesn't appear to say that he was in foster care in the Japanese script.
Akechi おかげで僕は、色んな所を転々とさせられて、まあ、今じゃ気ままな一人暮らしだけどね。 okage de boku wa, ironna tokoro o tenten to saserarete, maa, ima ja kimamana hitori kurashi da kedo ne Thanks to him, I was passed from foster home to foster home. But, I do quite well by myself these days. After that, nobody would keep me for too long, so I got moved about a lot. But now I'm alone and free to live as I choose.
There are a few interesting points here:
おかげで okage de, "thanks to"
Akechi does not specify what or who he's crediting here; the translator has glossed in "thanks to him". IMO it's more likely to be "because of the death of my mother"—the thing he was just speaking of. Shido is responsible, but (at least according to Akechi's flow of speech) he is slightly indirectly responsible.
転々とさせられて tenten to saserarete
tenten to suru, in this context, means moving around often from place to place; living at a lot of different addresses. But note the passive-causative on suru here, saserareru. This is something that was done to Akechi, something others inflicted on him, something he experienced as a profound negative. This was bad. Looking at what he goes on to say later—"so someone would want me around!"—I've tried to capture this with "nobody would keep me".
Also note that tenten to suru, while not usually violent in this "moving about" context, is also a term for e.g. kicking a ball around, which again makes it an interesting choice of words.
気ままな一人暮らし kimamana hitori kurashi
This is a set phrase, essentially meaning "a free and carefree life alone"; it's used, often with a little irony, to describe the joys of living alone, or of being single. Note that Akechi does not mean this—he sounds (JP audio) miserable as fuck, and he's brought this up, rather ineffectively, to try and lighten the mood.
It comes across as "I was alone, and I'm still alone, but at least now I'm alone on my own terms and can do as I please"—which he knows is untrue, and we know is untrue, and Ren and Futaba can surely tell is untrue.
By the way, this quick use of a throwaway stereotype, as if it explains everything—ima ja kimamana hitori kurashi da kedo ne—is one of Akechi's verbal tricks; he becomes laconic in this way when he touches on things he doesn't want to discuss, things that are sensitive to him.
This is how he explains to the others in the engine room that he's illegitimate, for instance—tsumari kakushigo sa, "In short, I'm his secret child", kakushigo ("hidden child") here being a popular term, with no real English parallel, for the secret or unacknowledged child of someone famous or powerful.
You could maybe render his line here as a detached-sounding "but now I'm footloose and fancy-free", for the same effect.
色んな所 ironna tokoro
This is what has been translated "foster homes", but it just means "all sorts of different places":
Akechi 色んな所を転々とさせられた ironna tokoro o tenten to saserareta I was passed around from pillar to post.
So: he was passed from place to place, from pillar to post. Like a pebble rolling on a beach, or a ball being kicked around a field. Do we know what any of those places might have been? No; he doesn't tell us. There's IMO nothing here to suggest that he was in the care of the state—but equally, there's nothing that excludes it.
But Akechi returns to this in the anime, in Proof of Justice—and he is far more specific:
Akechi だから、母が死んだあとは、親戚の間を転々として行ったね。 dakara, haha ga shinda ato wa, shinseki no aida o tenten to shite itta ne After my mother died, I was passed around my relatives.
Anime Akechi gives us more detail, again with tenten to suru, but he removes a lot of the emphatic force—we gain the detail that he was with his relatives, but we lose that outraged passive-causative, that makes it clear this hurt him—what I've tried to capture with "nobody would keep me for long" up at the top. It's possible, of course, that the difference in tone is to do with the different tone in the two scenes—game Akechi is at a very low point, while anime Akechi seems reflective and chill.
But is this canon? Well, usually when the game and the anime contradict, I prefer the game for its lack of adaptation drift. But there are a couple of occasions when the anime seems to clarify things that were not clear in the game text—and IMO, this is one. Per the game, Akechi was passed from place to place; the anime clarifies that those "places" were with his relatives.
TBH, even the localisation's "foster home" doesn't necessarily imply state foster care; a relative who takes you in is a foster parent. Of course, if you want a backdoor here (which is in no way required, I'm not your mum), he never suggests how long he stayed with his relatives....
does anything in-game support this?
Well, there's one thing in the game that supports this reading, and it's actually on 8/28 itself. Immediately after Akechi says he was passed around after his mother's death, Futaba does this:
Remember, Futaba already does not like Akechi. She resents him for his pursuit of the Phantom Thieves, even before she suspects him of killing her mother. Yet when he mentions his sad past, she connects with him.
Why is that? It's because Futaba, too, was passed between her relatives—with the results we all know: they were abusive, exploitative and cruel, leading to her being rescued by Sojiro. The game draws an explicit connection here between Futaba and Akechi—suggesting that they have this backstory in common, of being passed between abusive relatives. It suggests we can glean a little more about Akechi's past by looking at what we learn about Futaba's.
And she was rescued; he was not. They both turned to crime to work off some of what they endured—but Futaba retained her moral centre, while Akechi fell off the edge. This is why she tells him what she does in the engine room: "You thought [being alone and not trusting anyone] was enough, right? That part I totally get."
but isn't he just lying his ass off here?
BTW, as to whether Akechi is just trying to ingratiate himself with Futaba (or with Ren) on 8/28—I don't think so; I think he tries, and then gives up after his performative cut-in. We just saw him trying to ingratiate himself with Sojiro—his failure there, at the start of the scene, is what upsets him and opens him up. So far, so good.
Is he trying to get in with Wakaba Isshiki's daughter, to continue his pursuit of her research on Sae's behalf?—the reason he was at Leblanc in the first place? No, because he never mentions it to Futaba, ever again.
What Akechi will do later is stand up for her, on 9/13, protesting Sae's threat to remove her from Sojiro's custody:
Sae: There have been frequent occurrences of mental shutdowns surrounding Okumura recently. Sae: If only there was a clear connection between him and the Phantom Thieves… Sae: Well, it would be problematic if there wasn't one. Akechi: So you're jumping the gun here. Akechi: You really told a man you would terminate his parental authority based purely on your speculation?
... and notice what he's doing here. Akechi clearly already knows about Sae's threats to Sojiro; she does not explain them in this scene. And Akechi has clearly not questioned her on it, as long as he thinks there's a reason for it. When it turns out there isn't one? He calls Sae out. Because Akechi knows what's it's like to be a child with nowhere to go.
Sure, it's not beneath him to throw Futaba to the wolves—or, ultimately, to try to kill her in the engine room. But he views it as distasteful, as unjustified, and as wrong. He knows gratuitous cruelty when he sees it—and it repels him. He knows the difference between right and wrong—he's just elected to ignore it.
And he expects far better than this from Sae.
revision history
click here for the latest version.
v1.2 (2023/11/21)—typos, plus extra context for the game and anime scenes.
v1.1 (2023/11/20)—reblog w/ additional commentary.
v1.0 (2023/11/20)—first posted.
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I've seen a lot of posts comparing Bill and Ford (and for good reason, they are very much parallels and foils to each other) but I haven't seen as much exploring how Bill and Stan mirror each other. Where Bill saw Ford as a tool and maybe even sympathized with him because of their shared experiences (outcast by their peers for traits beyond their control, hungry for knowledge and prestige, isolated from friends and family), Bill sees Stan as the embodiment of everything Bill hates about himself. on the website, entering "Stanley" and clicking enter a bunch of times opens up pages from Bill's perspective about how stan defeated him. Bill maintains that Stan didn't actually beat him, that it was Ford's plan, that Stan just got lucky, but we know from the show that that simply isn't true-- it was Stan's plan and it was Stan that defeated him. It's interesting to note that bill is okay with giving Ford the credit for his demise, but Stan? unacceptable. we'll come back to that though.
To Bill, Stan is simultaneously everything he hates about himself and everything he wants to be. When listing all of Stan's faults, Bill calls him a "side character, a resume-inflating, cheap trick loving, past denying overgrown child protected by failure only by a forcefield of denial and shamelessness". who else do we know who ticks all of those boxes? Bill himself is a side character for much of gravity falls in the real world, but in the context of the show this statement shows his fear of not actually being anything special. sure he was powerful in his home dimension, but we see time and time again that there are other beings in other dimensions that are just as, if not more powerful (the axolotl, for instance). Bill takes credit for liberating his dimension when he really didn't, he "honors" his deals through loopholes and turns if phrase, and he shouldn't be throwing stones in a glass house, seeing as he's the one having a temper tantrum. Bill is also deeply disconnected from his past, if him telling us the story of the demise of his home dimension is anything to go by, and only digs himself in a deeper hole through putting on this cheerful, confident, powerful persona. Stan does the same thing, especially as Mr. Mystery. but the thing about Stan is that he grows and changes as the show goes on, while Bill's mindset is perpetual. They both were cut off from their family because of something they did (Stan messing with Ford's project, Bill by destroying his entire dimension), but Stan allows a new family to get close to him and chooses to make sacrifices to make his niece and nephew (and even his employees to some extent) happy. Bill on the other hand, surrounds himself with henchmaniacs, yes-men who just want to party and will follow him as long as he shows them a good time. Every depiction of Bill is a window for him to look through, and with so many in the mystery shack, it's certain that he sees Stanley, the embodiment of everything Bill hates about himself, getting what Bill thinks he could never have. and Bill hates it because it means that if Stan can grow and change and make peace with his past mistakes, it also means that Bill can too. But that would require Bill to actually be vulnerable and endure the pain that confronting your past (many, many) mistakes brings. He would have to acknowledge and accept that his home is gone because of him, that countless lives have been ruined because of him, and that the reason he has never been able to maintain close relationships is solely his fault. But he won't. And as a result, he will always end up alone, a king of ashes.
I think Bill thought of Ford as a way to fill his emptiness because of their similarities, and possibly also because he saw Ford as a form of redemption. Ford was brilliant and good and just like Bill and Bill saw that and may have thought, if he likes me there's no way I'm a monster. in a way, Bill saw Ford as the only one worthy of killing him because if it was Ford it was just a forgone conclusion: Ford hasn't made Bill's mistakes so he is automatically "better" than Bill and Stan, so obviously he could kill Bill. but to have it be Stan means that someone who has messed up in a manner similar to Bill has the capacity to be better. and that shakes Bill to the core.
#gravity falls#the book of bill#bill cipher#grunkle stan#stanley pines#stanford pines#gravity falls meta#gravity falls stanley#gravity falls bill#gravity falls stanford
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Hello! May I request fallout 4 companions (Nick especially) with Sole who shares the bare minimum of information about themselves? Not because Sole doesn’t trust them, they really enjoy theirs companions company. Perhaps they busy themselves so they don’t have to think about all the little and big things they miss. (I bet Codsworth would find pristine things that Sole would miss (like a favorite movie, vinyl, or comic?))
Sorry if its not something you’re interested in doing right now. The ask kinda came out as a ramble, I’m lacking sleep haha. Thanks again for considering my request!
》Honestly one of my favorite kinds of characters.
【Cait】 She doesn't appreciate it. Her contract was traded to some random weirdo who barely says anything. It took three days before the topic of your name came up. And two weeks to know what you were looking for, who. But in return you don't ask what she does on her own time or what she's done. It feels like you don't mind rather than you don't care and that makes her feel seen. It stays between you unsaid in her eyes.
♡If romanced she doesn't push for any information. You'll tell her if it's important. People think it's weird the two of you to not share about yourselves like normal people but you're happy, that's all that matters.
【Codsworth】 It's just like it was before. He, unlike the others, already knows you. He knows you very well. Not only did you do an intake for daily preferences but he also served you for a few years. While you're out and about you'll do something or say something that sounds like no information to others or out of context and he'll answer, "Just as I was thinking as well." While you camp with some of the other companions he does chores the way you like without needing to ask, making comment on recent events, which makes them jealous for sure. He digs up things from the house he preserved or found and fixes them up brand new before presenting it to you. Songs you liked or wanted to hear. Movies and shows and comics. Clothes pressed for you and the furniture is redone the way it used to be. He knows you and wants to keep it that way.
【Curie】 Low-key doesn't care. She has one thing on her mind and that's her own goal to better medicine. Finding things to do that is all she needs of you. When she goes to be a synth her feelings overwhelm her and you guide her through that. She's never ever asked about you. She'll tell you about what she's feeling but never thinks to ask what you feel. In her defense, is doesn't understand the nuance of social interactions. And to her credit, it works for the both of you.
♡If she's romanced she realizes she wants to know what you feel and if it's the same as her. She's mostly interested in what you feel now rather than what your opinion is in the past or isn't currently relevant.
【Danse】 Right away he doesn't care for it. A mercenary who talks very little can be dangerous. But you followed orders well and are a damn good shot. The way he asks is more like demanding. It was all for a vetting process but still rude. After the intake he didn't care about your lack of openness. Didn't matter to him personally. After BB he suddenly regrets not knowing you. He was so rude and dismissed you as another faceless soldier and you saved him, from the Brotherhood and himself. Now he wants to know you.
♡If romanced he makes effort to know you, like really know you. For a long time he refused individuality so his own sense of self is not great. But you know yourself and make no attempt to hide it. You are so sure of yourself you don't need to explain. That's one of the things he loves about you.
【Deacon】 He thinks you're like him, that you want to hide in plain sight. As much as he gives that to you he's nosy as fuck and takes every chance to learn about you, mostly from afar. It doesn't take any time at all for him to realize you'll just tell him. Most of them are one word answers. It takes him even less time after that to realize you'll comment on things from before the war especially.
♡If romanced he goes out of his way to show you stuff. Old posters and toys. If you follow my headcanon that he's pre-war, he makes old references and generally adds comments on things to bait your answers.
【Hancock】 He thinks it's pretty cool. "Oh, tall, dark, and handsome/beautiful." He does play twenty questions with you 24/7 and is very happy with your half-answers because an answer is still an answer. Plus he knows at least two other people like you. He is the one who figures out that you just don't have the time or think about talking about yourself rather than purposely keeping secrets the fastest. He knows people so he knows better.
♡If romanced he plays with it. You want a kiss? Tell him what's your favorite color. He'll get on his knees if you tell him what you like about your new home. But honestly he'll do it anyways. All he needs to know is that you want him like he wants you.
【MacCready】 He was more concerned about you putting a bullet in his head while his back was turned. Everyone in the Commonwealth was looking out for number one. So imagine his surprise when you were looking out for your number one and it wasn't you. Not only were you looking for your son but you stopped to help every person who asked for help. Your actions spoke to him in a way your words, he figured, couldn't. You didn't need to help him but you did. You didn't take the caps back. And you killed the gunners the second they turned their guns on him even when they said their beef wasn't with you. It was what you did, not what you told him.
♡If romanced he will ask things. Basic ones are like, "How was your day?" Normal questions that are the peak of domestic life. Then the more personal things. Some sound silly, "What's your favorite color?" But most build off of a quick thing you said in passing, "Wait, you've been to California? What was it like?" He trusts you'll tell him the truth.
【Nick】 As a private detective this simply won't do. He gets it at first, you just need him to find your son, it's business. However, you want him to stay with you after that. It confuses him because you made no indication you like him in the slightest way. He's the second fastest to realize you're not keeping to yourself on purpose. As one of the only ones who are pre-war he's able to get things the others can't. He'll talk about things and give his options and bait you into answering it. That was a common way to get people to talk back then when you were trying to be polite and keep up the conversation, even if the conversation stays a bit thin.
♡If he's romanced he makes fun of the fact you forget to say things about yourself. Don't get it wrong, he makes it clear you don't need to share. He's just poking fun.
【Piper】 This simply won't do. She asks as many question as they come up but she gets depressing short answers. You either give one word answers or say you're not really in the mood, on some occasions you admit you don't know, you never thought about it. It takes a long time for her to stop and that's only because the questions start getting old. And you still feel like a mystery even though you've told her everything.
♡If she's romanced she realizes how much you've told her and pushes it. What is your type? How do your lips feel? Why do you look so good? It becomes playful and light, never serious.
【Preston】 In the beginning he didn't realize he didn't know much about you. He took your help selfishly to get him and his people back on stable ground but you told him you were happy to help. So he takes time to learn about you and give you everything he could possibly help you with. In hopes you would share by yourself he gives things to you without any prompt. It doesn't really work most of the time.
♡If romanced he asks things with hearts in his eyes. He is so lovesick he takes all of your half-answers and files it away in his mind. It hardly matters at that point.
【X6】 It wasn't his mission so he didn't care. You owed him no explanation or justification. Doesn't mean he doesn't question you. He asks why you helped someone, why you stopped for a distraction. And of course you give short answers like, "They needed help." or "I wanted to." Later, after the Institute is gone, he sees how you carry yourself and tries to copy it. Obviously he can't so you help him too. You showed him he can figure himself out by himself and he didn't need you. So he held the same opinion; he doesn't need to know you like that.
♡If romanced he's still comfortable with you keeping things to yourself. It's only after months of being together do you realize he's never asked you a personal question, that you've never shared anything that personal. When you bring that to him he tells you that hardly matters. But seeing you make the effort after that gives him a feeling he can't describe. It's a good feeling he thinks.
#ask and you shall receive#fallout 4#fallout imagines#fallout x reader#companions react#gender neutral reader#cait#curie#codsworth#danse#deacon fo4#hancock#maccready#nick valentine#piper wright#preston garvey#x6 88
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My pookie wookie bear please make the modern! Mizu x reader a series I beg 🙏just the thought of all the possibilities and domestic fluff has me foaming at the mouth. Your writing is literally Shakespeare to me😭
mizu as your roommate — mizu x f! reader
synopsis: you're not sure why and how people got the idea that you and mizu are dating but you're not. she's just your roommate.
context: prequel to blurred lines. pre-relationship. fluff. absolute fluff.
a/n: heyaaa guysss tysm for enjoying blurred lines and nocturne! ive already got an outline on how to continue the series. here's a little contribution to roommate!mizu hehe. prompt is highkey inspired by true events.
pre-roommate!mizu:
being roommates wasn't a decision that the two of you came to right away
it took quite a while and your relationship wasn't something that instantly clicked on the first try
to give you context, you and Mizu met at your freshman orientation afterparty
Mizu majored in industrial design while you studied (course) and was fortunate enough to be placed in the same sector as her
you knew no one and people closest to you were her and Ringo who majored in culinary.
you could tell that Mizu wasn't really into social interaction as much as you and Ringo did (at least on the same level).
although, she did reciprocate some type of conversing, some of it ultimately ended with her drifting away or tucked away into some corner.
you never really bonded with Mizu at first, finding her offhanded nature and cold reciprocation of your tries in interaction a bit too rude for your taste
and it wasn't like you saw her often around campus, your chances of interaction only relied on the fact that she lived in the same dormitory as you
it was around 2nd year, mid 1st semester that you overheard Mizu's problem with her roommate. She had personally reported it to your landlord when you had just returned from a walk break from reviewing for your midterms
apparently Mizu's roommate had been abusing the visitors rule in your dormitory and constantly brought their one night stands in their shared space which infuriated the blue eyed girl.
the landlord was tight on accomodations and so you had stepped in and brought up the opportunity to be roommates
it took some coercing and persuasion on your end as you wished to be on better terms with Mizu and also because well, she really had no other option
and so, on the second half and the rest of your stay (life maybe) in college, you became roommates with Mizu from ID122.
roommate!mizu
living with mizu was something you didn't expect to work so well
you were quite surprised by your shared dynamic, not ever having to deal with the fact that you had to adapt a huge gap between you and your roommate just to be able to coexist in one space
it surprisingly didn't take long for mizu to warm up to you
she was the epitome of a black cat—there are days she prefers silence and days she'd warm up to you with her gentle smiles
she's also pretty accommodating to you as her roommate
opting to go by where you're most comfortable with
she says that its because you've given her so much but she gives you too much credit
not with the way she acts around you
the domesticity that came along with you and mizu's natural chemistry in living together was something that just came
you suppose that mizu's constant gratefulness towards your accepting demeanor in providing her a home eventually led to this dynamic
the gal does housework with ease, has become a close confidant in just a matter of weeks, walks you to your classes when your schedules are aligned, and buys you food whenever you're feeling down
it isn't too long before the distance between the two of you gradually became closer
skinship became a common affair and while mizu's touches evoked a change of cogs in your relationship, the type of skinship that she shares with you is more of genuine appreciation or concern over your well-being
extending her hand as she assist you on going down the stairs, a hand on the small of your back when you're in a crowded place, running her hands mindlessly through your hair when you're having one of those movie nights, gently leaning your head to her shoulder when you're feeling quite sleepy during the commute to school
she also does the most simplest acts of service that often leaves you melting and warming at the thought
placing your favorite food on your plate when you're eating out, having late night drive outs just to clear your mind or hang out, getting you the most random trinkets and claim that she saw it on her way home from work or class and bought it out of impulse bc it reminded her of you
she always either has to be within a meter of your presence or a part of her skin touching against hers
and she isn't the type to be clingy, it just brings her some sort of comfort that you're within her line of vision
it was pretty much safe to say that mizu was your best friend and someone you held pretty close to your heart
your friend group with akemi and taigen came about during the 3rd semester of your 2nd year.
The three of you were placed in one group during a gen-ed class that all students of your college had to take
You were quite surprised to see mizu's hostility towards taigen after he had tried jokingly flirt with you
akemi was the one who apprehended him though
with mizu and taigen's weird rivalry and akemi's naturally captivating personality, soon enough the five of you became close friends
mizu often tells you her regret of letting taigen stick around and that it's causing her headaches from all the pain of having to see his face
most of their fights as well rooted from the fact taigen finds you cute and mizu does not like that
not when there's a weird relationship between him and akemi
you asked akemi once about it and how it doesn't bother her the slightest
she just gave you a smirk and rolled her eyes, "Taigen's a boy, Y/N. I'll never settle for that."
you think she's kinda cool
anyways, the suspicions started during one of the school events that your college was hosting
it was a battle of the bands event and really was a chill night for students to hang out and vibe to music
your previous roommate was performing and so you wanted to show your respect
taigen is a party person, ringo's good for anything, and akemi's part of the event core that's handling the flow of the event
mizu tags along bc she has nothing better to do but we all know she goes anyway bc you're going
anyways, you guys are seated at the front vibing and what not
due to the naturally loud acoustics of the place, mizu has to be leaning close to you to hear you while you're gushing about the performance of the bands
she sits close to you, chair and body angled to your direction while her head is leaned close to you. She smiles softly and replies with a gentle tone of her voice to your musings and taigen can't help but notice your dynamic
He sees you clinging to her arm, hand gently patting the top part of mizu's hand to the beat of the song that rests peacefully on your knee. if anyone saw the two of you right now, people would immediately assume that the two of you were dating and well, while the you were all in a friend group, taigen really hasn't gotten to know the two of you beyond your present selves and so he asks the closest person that got to know them before him and akemi did
"Hey Ringo," Taigen asks as he leans towards the tall man seated on his right—his eyes still trained on the duo absorbed in their own world. "Are they—?"
Ringo glances at the two of you before looking back at Taigen then shrugging with a smile.
Somehow that was the precedent to the on going inside joke within your group
After that night, you often find yourselves in random situations wherein people would be curious what the relationship between the of you is
it was a shock at first and you felt like all these questions were definitely something that these people considered but eventually arose due to Taigen's very loud mouth
the guy had tons of friend groups, blame him.
(Mizu almost decked him if you and Ringo weren't there to stop him)
while the predicament was certainly awkward, your relationship with mizu didn't really falter bc of it
it kind of grew stronger??? for some reason
you think its because you find it amusing when ppl are kind of 'oh wow now I get it' and mizu's nonchalant reaction to it unless they were really being very adamant in getting to know the details
you've since grown to get used to the comments and didn't really bother the jokes casted by akemi and taigen towards the two of you
akemi once joked to mizu if it was okay that she'd steal you from her and mizu just gives her a once over before chuckling at her joke.
you're not sure why her response was like that and eventually curiosity got ahead of you
you asked her about it after akemi had gone to order a set of macarons for her roommate, leaving the two of you alone at your booth
mizu only leans forward across the table and pinches your noise. you let a noise of annoyance before the raven-haired girl chuckles at your reaction.
"She can't." Mizu peers at you from under her lashes. She crosses her arms over her chest, eyes trained on you with an unreadable look in her eyes. There's some sort of confidence with the way that she carries herself. "I would know."
the jokes ranged from ringo calling you mom and dad, taigen cringing at your natural domesticity when they all came over at your dorm, akemi trying to get a rise out of mizu by coddling you
the jokes also came from the two of you
it was just fun getting a rise out of the people around you who were constantly rooting for the two of you to get together
you always joked that the moment you and mizu would be together would be a monumental achievement not to the two of you but to taigen and akemi's constant meddling
you teased mizu with endearments and the gal would only roll her eyes
eventually, that prompted the two of you to call each other bon or bonnie as an endearment. you claim its only for fun but akemi's giving you that side eye that tells a lot of things.
overall, mizu's just a wonderful roommate and someone that you could find a safe space in and be able to fully trust in. her character and personality speaks of direct truth and genuineness that allows you to fully warm and soften around her
so it really wasn't a surprise to you when you've realized that you've fallen in love with her
her existence, the way she talks, listens to you with her undivided attention, her accommodating nature, love for silence, and those eyes that always seem to find its way back to yours
even though your relationship wasn't something that was established until recently
you knew that she was yours as much as you were hers.
a/n: wahhh setting series off mwehehehe, feeling a bit productive tonight after finals so im multitasking comms and mizu requests! expect another one shortly maybe if im feeling it hehe
#arthenaa#mizu x reader#mizu blue eye samurai#mizu x you#the blue eyed samurai#the blue eyed samurai x reader
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Mark; Power Dynamic and Other Analysis
Wordcount: 1,065 words Includes: Silly little headcanons Genre: Smut, 18+ Author’s note: This is purely based on my imagination and the vibes I get from him. You may or may not agree with me, and that’s completely okay —this is only me free associating for a thousand words straight. Please enjoy whatever this is, and don't hesitate to share your thoughts with me! Credits: MDNI banner by @/cafekitsune !
First things first, I sense that Mark loves to be in control.
With that being said, I honestly don't picture him as a hard dominant. He might not even care about roles, anyway, but he is naturally leaning towards the dominant side.
He is really playful with the role, though. Mark is such a tease, and really creates an environment in which you can feel comfortable. He takes it upon himself to reassure you in every step of the fucking way —if he feels like you’re shying away from him, he would do anything just to bring you back to him.
For instance, I feel like one of his priorities in bed is to make sure you feel comfortable exposing yourself to him. I can really see him being into body worshiping and might even kneel in front of you and kiss your body from head to toe, whispering sweet nothings while asking all the right questions: "do you like it when I kiss you like this?, "does it feel good?", "do you want me touch you here?", and so on.
Despite the natural dominance I see in him, I do feel like he can get needier and more desperate than you, and he is not really ashamed of expressing it. This man is whiny, might even beg you to let him please you. And it's good that he is very talkative, because I just know his voice gets deeper and raspier in sexual contexts. At the same time, he is not really that loud; it's all whispers and murmurs, half of his words are muffled because he just has to have his lips attached to your skin and flesh.
But when I say he is talkative, I mean it. The type to curse under his breath, and even start rambling about how much he loves you and how good you're making him feel. At one point he stops making any sense, because he is no longer thinking with his head but his dick.
Mark might seem shy and collected at first, but I feel like the most he progresses into a sexual encounter, the less timid and more primal he becomes.
But even then, I don't picture him as someone who might enjoy degrading or humiliating you, and certain practices like impact play might be a big no for him. I feel like he could try if you asked him to, but I don't think he would enjoy it just for the sake of slapping or spanking you. If he does enjoy it, it's probably out of ego —the fact that you're trusting him enough to ask him such things, and that you're enjoying them.
But, willingly, I don't think Mark would ever inflict pain on you like that.
Overstimulation and denial, however, are a whole other topic for him. He doesn't mind hurting you a little if he knows you can take it, and that it can become pleasure in exchange for a little pain —the way he proves your loyalty is through how good you're at following his orders and how willing you're to leave your pleasure aside, or endure a little pain, just because he asked you to.
Mark is a hopeless romantic, and that translates into sex as a somewhat possessive partner. He is only yours, as long as you prove to him that you're only his. He is going to love you passionately if only you can do the same for him; he never hesitates when it comes to you, and he expects you to be the same when it comes to him.
Because of this passion and intensity, I think he is very much the jealous type. Get jealous easily, and might act a little bit impulsive on it. Also, he isn't afraid of bringing said topics with you —if something bothers him, he will tell you without beating around the bush. It may conflict him, and he might get shy when talking to you about whatever it was that upsetted him, but he never keeps such things for himself.
That's kind of relevant because I think the possessive, jealous part of him really makes an appearance in bed —he wants to hear you say how you belong to him, and him only; how your body it's only his to touch and kiss, how you don't want anyone else but him.
Mark wants everything there is of you —your mind, heart and body.
And that's why sex is always so intense; not necessarily rough, but emotionally I feel like he brings a shit ton of vulnerability and he needs you to do the same. Sex with him it's always so fucking intimate, and it can get really filthy because trust is one of the most important things for him —he doesn't care about the mess, as long as it is your mess (with this I mean like certain fluids or things one might find disgusting, but to him they really aren’t).
He might be an experimentalist; he is willing to try everything at least once before deciding if he is into it or not. He’s also pretty good at communicating and putting his thoughts and emotions into words, so that gives me the impression that he is really in touch with himself and his preferences.
So, going back to the power dynamic bit, I don't see Mark willingly and fully submitting to you. Although I said he might not even care about those sorts of roles, I feel like he is the most comfortable with being in charge of your pleasure and his. For some it might be a burden, but not for him —he leans towards dominance naturally, not to assert it but because he likes it.
Mark is always gentle, but in the midst of things I really believe he can manhandle you unintentionally. He might squeeze your hands a bit too harshly, or grip your hips a bit too rough; not to hurt you, but because he loses his mind in between. He gets so drunk on you and your body, that he just forgets the whole world surrounding him but you.
To wrap things up, I must say he is a fucking great kisser. I do see him as someone who kisses sloppily, but in a "I definitely know what I'm doing" kind of way. He bites, and uses tongue, and just makes sure to kiss you deeply until your mouth is full of him. Mark either places his hands on each side of your face or takes you by your waist to press his body against yours.
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