#have confidence in your work
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maybe season 5 would’ve turned out better if the writers just stuck to the pre-written outline (if they had one?) rather than getting angry at the fandom’s response to things and making a whole season (read: episode) out of replying to said response.
when creating something, understand that that is your own creation. not anyone else’s, yours. changing it to fit someone else’s standards doesn’t quite work out well in the long run, because now it’s not yours anymore. it doesn’t follow your vision anymore. now there are plot contrivances that don’t make sense, holes that can unravel the entire thing, and other issues.
you shouldn’t have to warp your story to something it isn’t to defend it; it should already speak for itself. sometimes, it’s better off to just close the app and continue on with your own telling.
#have confidence in your work#i thought mlb season 1-3 was pretty good all things considered#miraculous salt#ml writing salt
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Charles has always left Edwin little notes slipped between the pages of his favorite books, in his science equipment, places he knows Edwin loves. Just silly things—post its that say “hi Edwin :)”. doodles of Edwin with his nose stuck in a book. reminders to stock up on wolfsbane. but.
Then, post canon, Edwin tentatively starts dating people. And it’s ridiculous, because Edwin’s right there, all the time, but Charles..misses him a bit. And his heads a mess, and he can’t sort out what the hell he’s feeling most of the time, and whenever he tries to say any of it out loud it comes out rubbish.
So. He writes down some of the shit he can’t say right, and because he’s a coward, hides them so he doesn’t have to see Edwin’s face when he reads them.
then Edwin starts writing back.
Neat lilac blue little envelopes appear in Charles coat pockets. In his bag. Once, in his shoe? Some nights, Edwin will clear his throat and mention something from a letter, offhand, like they’re just picking up conversation, and Charles can pretend they are. That they always have talked about the basement, the belt, the nameless fear that chokes him every time Edwin walks out the door with someone else on his arm.
Sometimes he can’t. The words get stuck in his throat. Edwin’s not mad, he’s maddeningly, stubbornly kind about it, which is worse.
Some nights they trade. A secret for a secret. Charles learns about the novels Edwin used to hide under his mattress, about all the lonely years before Charles got there. About Simon.
Meanwhile, Edwin is losing his mind, because Charles has accidentally stumbled onto what was a fucking courting ritual in his time. Love letters were something engaged couples treasured for years, kept and reread over and over. (Edwin does. keep them in a special box, will take one out and trace the words, tuck it in his breast pocket for courage).
Edwin would rather have to reattach a limb again than lose Charles trust, all the dark and beautiful things he shares with Edwin only. He knows—knows Charles doesn’t mean to make him fall more in love with him.
#payneland#dbda#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#mini fic#charles x edwin#chedwin#fic#anyone is welcome to write this!#maybe I will eventually once I crawl victorious from the mountain of my 10+ wips#either way I’m a strong believer in the 2 or more cakes principle#would love different peoples takes on this#UGH BUT JUST IMAGINE… Edwin being scared to date & try new things#reading over and over how Charles is scared too how he’s faking being brave most of the time.#keeping the letter over his heart for courage#(I do think Edwin should date people for a while because like. he’s hot! he never got to be a teenager!#let him kiss cute boys for a bit! realize there’s nothing wrong with him! become more confident! more centered!#maybe it makes Charles a little crazy! proud and possessive and confused horny!)#they have time! :) & sometimes you need to go on your solo journey so u can then become more freakishly codependent with your#work bestie husband ride or die twin flame in the future. yk
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councilor 3D model
i learnt 3d modelling from the ground up to bring him to life. he's yours now. do whatever you want with him
[link]
please credit me if you make something using the model (or even ping/link me to it, i would love to see what you made!)
currently available as a .blend, .fbx and an SFM port.
#hello councilnation i'm finally releasing him to the wild#have fun playing toys with him#ultrakill#councilor#councilor ultrakill#3d stuff#obviously with the councilor having just 1 full body image of him means that some stuff i had to improvise on#so you get to enjoy my headcanons on how he looks#(like obviously the wings & halo)#(but also the chestplate design)#but did you know that the councilor's canon design has subtle engravings on his forearm armor pieces?#i only barely noticed them when painting textures and i was floored#i had to add them#to the sfm anon and whoever else wants to use this for sfm stuff-#i did my best with a port for sfm and i'm quite proud of the result#but please be aware i have never used it before so if you find that something doesn't work as it should please please let me know!!#gonna pour my heart out in tags as always so close your eyes if you don't wanna see me being sentimental but#i'm not kidding when i say i learnt 3d modelling from the ground up for this#i have meddled with blender before but never actually came close to finishing a project#and i don't know how i did it and how i kept going#(i do know) (it was my friend encouraging me every time i showed him progress)#this was like 1 entire month in the making#but i'm so fucking proud of this and how it turned out and people's tags in my act 2 render genuinely were such a huge confidence boost#so thank you guys for liking it <3#i'm still very much thinking of doing a version with just his bloodied head#but it might take a while because i want a break and i want to play warframe
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Just a girl who wants to be her mother’s daughter in the ways that matter
#Such a tenacious go getter & the smartest woman ik#Has NEVER looked back at a man twice. Knows she’s beautiful & that attention is guaranteed. Never desperate for male validation ever#The best fashion sense ik. She’s the epitome of classic & vintage#Doesn’t gaf what others are doing / is always tunnel visioned on her own goals#A mega workaholic and like. Maybe I’d rather balance but still she’s still an overachiever#I feel im becoming more and more like her by the day but still I have some work to do#Need to be more focused & to stop entertaining little boys fr#I just want to move w the unshackling confidence & elegance she seems to emanate effortlessly#I swear that woman was born that way!!!! So unfair for the rest of us mortals#Why does no one talk about the psychological torture that comes w having a naturally gorgeous genius mother#I’m dying over here I just wanna be like her but im pushing that boulder up the hill all the time#Meanwhile she’s always just On#HOW#Just an eldest daughter having a crisis about her mother who is also#The eldest daughter out of her and her two brothers#I need to journal about this I need to meditate#How to manufacture the drive that your mother was simply endowed with at birth#Not even joking I just got off my internship and now im sitting on a swing under the late May sun having a crisis about this
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fr though you have to write bad poetry. poems are not handed down to you fully formed by god they are things that you have to work on and practice your skill at creating. nobody would expect you to sit down at a pottery wheel and end up with a perfect vase with no practice. it's a skill! art is a learned thing!! you have to make the shitty little pots with dents and marks and your fingerprints all over them in order to get better. and you're allowed to be proud of those first little pots you made too
#yeah maybe they leak or they don't look the prettiest but you literally made them...#people are so critical of their own + other people's amateur poetry in a way that they are not about so many other art forms#when someone starts crochet they are not expected to pop out perfect pieces immediately.#you don't start dance lessons and pull out a perfect pirouette. there's practice to be done and just because it's not physical#doesn't mean it's not a craft that has to be honed. you have to work at it.#and to work at it you have to be kind enough to yourself to let yourself be mediocre or outright bad. you Have to be#it's never a failure because anything you create is Something You Created and therefore a success#but y'know. the philosophy of you have to be prepared to fail. falling is part of getting back up all that#except that bad poetry will never hurt you it will ONLY ever help you improve <3 so keep writing it <3#you don't have to post it either the attention economy is so evil... keep it to yourself. and if sharing poetry is a thing you want to do#you can always wait until you feel confident in your work to do so. or show the people you love your bad poems.#cause people who love you will see your hard work and love it regardless. y'know?#not poetry
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"If you look closely, you'll see that Latte is the only being Ongsa talks to."
23.5 (2024)
#23.5#23.5 the series#23.5 degrees#23.5edit#milklove#gledit#mine*#milk pansa#oh the abject horrors of being a teenage girl#[gathers ongsa gently into my arms and gives her all the warmth and comfort she deserves]#im sorry for how unkind i was to my teenage self; im sorry for unkind you are to yourself#i know her being unpopular and weird is played over the top for laughs but there is such a genuine#sadness and loneliness woven through it#having a sister who is popular and a leader and capable to a fault and a cousin who has her sight far beyond high school#and her peers and is so comfortable behind her high walls and within herself (also to a fault)#while you yourself are so starved and hungry for connection with your peers and to be liked but just seem so incapable of making that work#so incapable of getting out of your own way#is just so... god#its so universal and so heartbreaking and also i wanted to make this set#because at the end of the show ongsa will have her friends and a girlfriend and confidence in herself and hopefully#love and kindness for herself ❤️#in case you were wondering; why yes i will project all my own teenage issues onto this show because yes ongsa is a mirror thank you 🥰
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Y/N: [admiring Alcina with heart eyes] You are one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. Alcina: [stops what she's doing to frown at you] What do you mean 'one of'?! Y/N: [eyes widening in surprise] It's a compliment! Why are you mad? Alcina: [huffs upset] Why don't you go ask the other 'beautiful women' you've been seeing? Y/N: [inwardly facepalming, mumbling] Note to self: Choose your words carefully.
[insp]
#alcina dimitrescu#lady dimitrescu#alcina dimitrescu x reader#lady dimitrescu x reader#hd.txt#hdad.txt#i don't know how it works but#i see alcina as someone being extremely confident to know she's the best you have ever been with and at the same time being so jealous#listen even when she's your one and only and she knows it#you have to act like you have never been with (or seen lmao) another person in your entire life#txt: ad
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Toki Wartooth Graphics ★
Requested By:@sbloongle F2U with credit ! Like/Reblog if save/use⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚.ᯓ★ Strawpage/info ! Dividers not F2U !
#Can U tell i didnt save the gradient map after doing one of these you’ll never guess which one……#Also sorry bestie pookie bear im not doing your other request 💔#Maybe another time#metalocalypse#Toki Wartooth#rentry#request#rentry graphics#my edit#rentry resource#rentry resources#carrd graphics#carrd resources#graphic#graphics#rentry graphic#rentry gif#gif#I have…..Such a lack of confidence in my work WTH
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there is a very specific image in my head of early-mid 20’s iwaizumi hajime
#iwaizumi x reader#and he’s the guy taking on an internship in his senior year with minimum load for his classes#bc he’s planned it all out since starting college#you see him in parties because he has the time & he works so hard it’s only right he plays hard too#every time you lock eyes he gives you a small smile#there’s an air about him that isn’t cocky but isn’t too shy; a comfort that settles into his skin like he’s sure of who he is#—of what he wants & it definitely isn’t hauling up his drunk friends and a few acquaintances up his car#but some of them are your friends and you’re helping him so maybe it isn’t so bad#he drops you off with your roommate and you rarely see him after#until you spot him at some bar (again) and he’s wearing a tight fitting polo (it’s his uniform you later notice)#it’s a year or two after your graduation and when you lock eyes across the room there’s something so familiar yet wholly different#he’s confident now & maybe a little flirty too when he tells you he’s working as an assistant to shadow one of his mentors#you catch up for the rest of the night and your friends have long since gone ahead#he still knows what he wants and it’s to bring you home—not that way (not yet); you’re a little suspicious because#you know there’s /something/ but he drives you home like a gentleman. without really trying anything (and maybe part of you wishes he did)#it’s iwaizumi though and he knows what he wants—to ask you out properly (one he’s been thinking about since chance encounters in uni)#and he’s hoping that when he asks you can tell just how much he likes you#hajime#i want him so bad im crying#there is a whole workd of backstory to this but i got lazy typing it#shotorus.bubble
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this is so sweet what if i cried
#its all the things she used to hate about herself bc theyre what make other ppl hate her BUT IT TOOK ONE PERSON TO LOVE HER#AND EVERYTHING ABOUT HER TO FOR HER TO BE ABLE TO SEE THESE THINGS AS BEAUTIFUL AND FIND CONFIDENCE#and i love emilia's arc so much bc it wasnt just instantly fixed by a guy liking her either#and its also fortuna's love which. makes this also deeply ironic#she did so much work and grew so much on her own in the trials and now here she is able to accept that shes loved#she can have it even when faced with the most vile hatred (wrath) being thrown at her... she doesnt falter#emilia you ARE the most amazing woman in the world youre literally everything#and like yeah she and subaru were messy in the past too but theyre so healthy and iconic now actually#me and who etc etc#this is just so sweeeeeet its so cute its so nice it shows so much of her growth#what if i cried#re:zero
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Tease Tidbit Tuesday
Tagged by @diazsdimples @tizniz @wikiangela @giddyupbuck @hippolotamus @jesuisici33 @disasterbuckdiaz. Thank you all for tagging me ❤️ (be sure to check out all their snippets!)
Here’s a little something from a phone call between Buck and Bobby on the night of Eddie’s breakdown from when your heart releases, you won’t fall to pieces.
Prev snippet here.
Bobby hums in thought. “Are you with him right now?”
“Yeah. Yeah I didn’t want to leave him alone. Not like this.”
“Eddie needs the kind of help that we can’t provide, but what we can do, what you’re already doing a great job of so far, is be there for him and for Chris.”
“I was so scared, Bobby. I- I thought he- that he’d—.”
“It’s okay, Buck. He’s okay. He’s going to be okay.” Bobby says, his voice soft and soothing and Buck finds that he actually believes him. “Do you need me to come over?”
Buck chokes back a sob of relief. He knew Bobby was the right person to call. Eddie and Chris are a part of his family too. Buck doesn’t have to shoulder this alone. Knows that if he said yes, Bobby would break a few traffic laws to get here. Or get a police escort from Athena.
“No- no I’m alright, just uh- it’s been a long night.” Even though he could use the comfort, he feels like tonight needs to be just him and the Diaz’s. Doesn’t want to bring too many cooks into the kitchen or whatever. “Could you uh- could you come over in the morning though? I need to get Chris to school and I don’t want to leave Eddie alone. Not that I think he’s going to-to do anything I just—.”
“Don’t want him to feel like he’s alone in this. I get it, Buck. Trust me, I get it.”
“Yeah.” Buck supposes Bobby really does get it. He still remembers finding Bobby passed out drunk on his bed, back before he’d opened up his heart to life again, to actually living and being a part of it. Remembers how he and Hen (and Chim later on when Bobby trusted enough to let another person into his world) would take turns sitting with Bobby at his apartment on his bad days or driving him to AA meetings so he knew he wasn’t alone in the battle, they had his back. So yeah, if anyone gets it, it’s Bobby. “Thanks Bobby.”
“Anytime kid.”
No pressure tagging: @wildlife4life @watchyourbuck @athenagranted @exhuastedpigeon @elvensorceress @eddiebabygirldiaz @epicbuddieficrecs @evanbegins @rainbow-nerdss @rewritetheending @thewolvesof1998 @try-set-me-on-fire @theotherbuckley @puppyboybuckley @princessfbi @prettyboybuckley @spotsandsocks @steadfastsaturnsrings @devirnis @donationwayne @fiona-fififi @fortheloveofbuddie @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @hoodie-buck @homerforsure @honestlydarkprincess @jeeyuns @lover-of-mine @ladydorian05 @loserdiaz @captain-hen @bekkachaos @monsterrae1 @nmcggg @missmagooglie @spagheddiediaz @malewifediaz and anyone else who wants to share something -> consider this your official tag 😘
#fic: when your heart releases you won’t fall to pieces#daffi writes#buddie wip#buddie#haven’t work on this wip in a bit but have been wanting to share part of the Buck/Bobby phone call for a while#so thought I’d do that today.#also not feeling confident in my writing over the past few days so sharing old stuff as a bit of a motivation booster#maybe?#idk#got a case of the blues atm 😕#hopefully it’ll pass soon
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more!! again!! for the nico after blood of olympus fic!! actually I thought of this while writing the last one but I just finished it.
His elbows buckle and he lets himself fall into Will, snorting at his theatrical groan under the weight. They lay there for a second until Will shoves him gently, and Nico lets him manoeuvre them into a more comfortable position.
"Hi," he whispers, moving a curl away from his cheek. The greenish tint of the loft window casts a weird shadow over Will's face.
"Hey yourself," Will murmurs back, winking.
Nico rolls his eyes. "You look like Apollo when you do that. Please stop." Will squawks in protest.
"I do not! Also, since when do you remember what Apollo looks like? Actually, no, don't answer that, you can't bring up my dad while we're in bed, Nico, why would you do this to me?"
Now it's Nico's turn to sputter and whack Will in the chest - getting another dramatic oof and a laugh in return - before turning around to face Hazel's bed. He's not sure when he'll ever be able to sleep facing the wall. Will can't do it either.
As Will's arms curl around his waist and draw him back against him, just like they did back in the infirmary that one day, he thinks maybe he'd be okay trying that with him sometime. One day, in a house with gates, no longer wary of monsters.
Will noses the back of his neck, causing him to twitch. "What is it?"
Will's answering smile presses through the rough cotton of his t-shirt. "Nothing, sunshine."
Nico frowns under the covers. "Hey, what do you think of houses with gates?" He whispers.
"Gates? Well, it'd be safer, I guess, but we'd lose the neighbours coming over -"
"As if you want to see random people at the door anyway. What if they're monsters?"
"Oh, come on, darlin', I'm from Austin. Of course I gotta keep space for the neighbours to come knocking."
"…Fences? Actually, hey, why'd you assume I was talking about us? Obviously - Obviously I was talking about random. Random houses. For architecture reasons."
Will muffles his laugh into the back of his neck, again. "Oh, my bad. And I'm only here because you ripped a stitch on the lava wall yesterday."
Nico feels his ears warm.
"Shut up."
"I didn't say anything."
"..Still."
Will reels him in closer until his back hits his chest and he can press a soft peck to Nico's still-red ears. "I think a fence is a great idea, by the way. We could ask Hazel for help with some ward stones too, like you have in the cabin. Gotta make sure we've got at least one window and standing space in every direction, though, or at least in the east, because you know my dad would sulk if he didn't get to scream me awake in the morning."
Nico's blush gets worse.
"Now who's talking about your dad in bed?" He gives up on pretending. Will sees him through every time, anyway. "Also, shrines, obviously, and we need a spot to stargaze."
"Yeah, shrines, obviously. Maybe just yours, mine, and Lady Hestia's though, or else everyone else is gonna get pissy."
Nico barks out a laugh like it's shocked out of him. "Pissy? Don't let them hear you say that."
Will holds him tighter and settles against the pillows. "Sure thing, sunshine. Now can we sleep?"
"Yeah, yeah."
It's not long after that that Will's breath evens out behind him, his muscles untensing. Nico knows he's got a few minutes yet, so he thinks.
Today was…. good.
Today was nice. Normal, even. Just a day of camp schedules, working in the infirmary, an admittedly short campfire, and this. No monsters, and no mistakes. No deaths, but..
Unbidden, the moments in the infirmary come to mind. He thinks of helping Will scrub in for his one surgery of the day, a kid that had gotten parts of an arrow stuck in their leg a week ago and hadn't noticed til yesterday. He thinks of yesterday during capture-the-flag, stepping in and desperately trying to copy what he'd watched Will do, because Lydia was hanging crooked from a tree and there was no one else around but him-
He thinks of Patroclus tying the straps of Achilles' armour, watching his lover sleep peacefully. He thinks of what Connor had told him about at the campfire weeks ago, of Silena Beauregard taking on a drakon when Clarisse declared the Ares Cabin wouldn't be fighting.
He thinks he might understand.
Lydia wasn't the same (thank the gods), but if there was something to be done that only Will could do right, yet couldn't, and the only way Nico could take up his mantle would be to die trying - then, yeah. He'd do whatever it would take for these kids. To do what Will would do. He's gone to Tartarus already, hasn't he? At worst, he'd try his best and greet his father early if he failed to survive. Nico could even give Charon a tip on the way in for the hell of it, why not?
If there is a luxury that comes from being a child of Hades, after all, it is that dying is not the thing that scares him.
There's a brazier still lit outside the window. Its glow falls in slits across their bed.
Will grumbles, pushing his feet forward until their ankles are wound together. The sheets shift.
Nico smiles into the dark, into the chirping of crickets and the soft glow of the fireflies out the window, and falls asleep.
more for this fic:
scene 0 - prologue-ish scene 1 - the library of social awkwardness or here (or in my heart, 'kidney function is not a right, it's a privilege' lol)
general writing directory
also lmk if you want more lore. I am so down to talk about this fic + the worldbuilding ideas I have for it in the notes it is unreal
#writing process#nico di angelo trying to make friends#when the characters start doing their own thing and you're just along for the ride#would y'all help me choose a fic title if I asked?#will solace#toying with a chb fic about nico and grief and what three days in the infirmary actually looks like#plus my healthy nico agenda and a healthy dose of solangelo obv#nico di angelo#riordanverse#pjo fic#worldbuilding my beloved#they're teenagers your honour#I loved writing this scene TT#maybe a timeskip idk#solangelo#solangelo fic#pjo#hmmmmMMMMMMM you tell me which cabin lydia is from#she's like less than 14#lydia morrin is a young sweet spunky child that thinks she's a genius (like we all did) with a companion lack-of-confidence a mile wide#gotta say i am LOVING this new writing technique i am trying out with just writing scenes as I go#and creating this story trail I can actually trace and work with bc i have smth on the page now#like just from this I already have three more scenes I could write and I love it#thw you're writing and the sentences sounds a bit off grammatically but every other option you can see is so much worse
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most normal interaction on a subway (another earth bot has invaded my sketchbook)
cat belongs to @8um8le
#2024#stellar city#sc cataclysm#sc ash#self insert#late evening scribbles once again just for fun#okay so it is so interesting to think about how really tall bots are normal so public transit is probably larger to accomodate#so then lil ol me looks more like a kid than i normally do in the subway car built for giants#anyway i'm thinking about how jarring it must be to only know geo and then see cat lmao#unknowingly meeting your coworker (crush)'s prototype on your evening commute home :x#…wait hang on it would be really funny to confide in cat about having a crush on geo#gives me the most batshit advice that somehow works#i really just keep doodlin ballad's guys huh? i wanna draw the rest of the cast tbh they're all fun
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Hey Love,
Do it for yourself, don't do it to yourself.
— @blabbershere
#life#quotes#people#do it#do it yourself#you#self care#self confidence#think#give it your all#it's for you#inspiring quotes#love#daily life#quote#let's be rel#motivational quotes Tumblr#motivation#life quotes#book quotes#hey love#you can do it#hardwork#conviction#inspire#be inspired#don't look for inspiration#have a heart#hard work#work hard
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hello, lu fandom. i've got... a thought experiment? i suppose?
the short explanation is that i'm outlining a fic where the chain defeats dink in post-totk hyrule but no portals arrive to take them home, so they're just stuck in wild's era forever. i want to have at least one of the chain form a new relationship in the botw era (besides wild, who will be with flora), but i'm having trouble thinking of who would be interested in who.
so, thought experiment. if you had to ship each member of the chain with a botw/totk character, what would your ships be and why?
#it doesn't need to be major characters. you can pick your favourite obscure npcs if you want#i'm not going to put all the links in relationships btw. just one or two of them. but i want options about WHICH two (and with who)#my own thoughts are like.#sky with a rito maybe? i feel like that could be interesting but i don't have any specific rito in mind#no real ideas w/four (mostly because i am unclear on his actual age) but i think calyban would be funny since they have the same haircut#for time i've been thinking maybe buliara? they have similar vibes i think it could work. or maybe kass? kass deserves a wife&husband#i think wind would move to lurelin so maybe someone from there? or a rito or zora who could visit often#but then i've been also thinking like. what if wind and riju. i feel like they'd vibe#twilight could only be shipped with obscure npcs i think. only some rando will do for him. maybe a stableworker or one of the stable heroes#he and violynne could be cute....#legend is tricky. i am also unclear on his actual age. i think he would move to hateno so someone from there?#i think he would be friends with sophie but idk if there could be romance there#hyrule is also tricky. maybe lasli? i think they have compatible personalities but i have no idea how old either of them are#warriors might be fun with paya. she's so shy around wild and then he's with flora but when she becomes more confident she starts dating#warriors? the most confident link? it's funny to me (idk how wars would feel about dating the chief of kakariko though)#loz#lu#linked universe#lu fanfic#original post
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Lol
#theres nothing quite like your mother saying Well maybe you shouldve been more careful because now your boss might think youve been flirting#with this male coworker (whom i like splendidly as a friend) and now maybe she thinks youre not trustworthy#and maybe she regrets hiring you because you said you feel like youre making a lot of mistakes this week and she might assume thats because#your head is filled with this boy.#so dont make her regret hiring you.#MA'AM I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TODAY WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME ASHAMED#OF SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE I OUGHT TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT AT MY FIRST NEW JOB AFTER IVE GRADUATED????#anyway going to bed i cant take this anymore LOL she said it so lightly and im like. well i never even considered#being afraid of making my boss regret hiring me somehow because of some kind of behaviour that i had no idea was sending some kind of signal#anywaysssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and then she was like why are you crying?? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#not to be like this is partly why i didnt want to move home but confound it all why are things like this#can i not simply confide in my mother my anxieties and worriws#worries#and not also have to worry about her potentially being like Well have you considered you ARE right and it IS your fault?#idk man something something firstborn child eldest daughter can i have some room to breathe. please#also not to whine but Not my father walking in on me eating dinner at 10pm because i was holed up#in my room in a semi depressive state after so many gong shows in a work day and straight up having no appetite#but deciding my body needs the food anyway its better late than never.....walking in and then saying#you know if you eat this late you'll gain weight. SIR??????????????????#sorry to complain and rant again i simply cannot in this house and whats more am doing my best to honour my parents#but why is it so hard out here and how can they say stuff like that with a smile!!!!!!!#also i DO have an inner critic who is always like Its your fault you are the worst you should be ashamed always........why do my parents#not understand after knowing me for so long and watching me grow up#that i can make myself so ashamed of the smallest thing so easily and that what they say drives me to shame almost as easily?#ANYWAY LOL WHAT A DAY#you guys!!! i am working so hard i promise i PROMISE I am!!! it is my first full time job ever and i am working so so hard#i am doing my absolute best and no one sees it and that is FINE i just wish my parents would see that i AM trying!!#i come back home so dead every single day because i put in 120%! this is literally my first job after graduation#and my parents KNOW this has been the most exhausting taxing and soul crushing year ive had in my very short life so far
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