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messyworldfanfictions · 5 years ago

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Summary: You work as a nurse at Claremont Psychiatric Hospital where Martin Whitly, the famous serial killer who murdered 23 people is incarcerated. You’ve always liked serial killer stories and you had one a few doors away, but you were far too scared to break the rules. You’re not allowed to go into the prisoners’ cells, especially not the surgeon’s. One day, the guard brings you Martin at the infirmary for headaches. […]

“The hardest part is the lack of human contact, having someone to talk to, I miss it.” he lamented with a false expression of exaggerated sadness.

“I understand, it must be very difficult for you…” You said, avoiding his gaze. You didn’t know what to say to comfort him. He looked so sad.

He leaned towards you.“You seem like a nice girl,” he whispered, staring at every details of your face. “You could visit me at night after your work, I know you’re the last one to leave, the guard told me. ” he smirked, his eyes sparkling. “It’ll be our secret Y/N”. […]

Will Martin manage to manipulate you? Are you brave enough to accept his offer ? It’s just a visit for a little chat after all …

Pairing: Martin Whitly x reader , Martin Whitly x you

Warnings: Reader-Insert, Doctor/Patient, Rough Sex, Rough Body Play, Fear Play, Face Slapping, Hair-pulling, Daddy Kink, Emotional Manipulation, Light BDSM, Deepthroating, Face-Fucking, Orgasm Control, Dubious Consent

A Notes: Hi guys ! This fanfiction will be in 2 chapters, this is my second fanfiction so be kind please ^^. Constructive criticism are welcome, English is not my first language so I apologize for possible mistakes. If you see errors, please tell me! :)

I’m so thirsty for Martin Whitly, I needed to do this. Please, check the tags, it’s going to be very rough, don’t like don’t read.

Have fun and tell me if you want the second chapter ;) ! Feel free to reblog !

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Chapter 1 : Trapped

Your name is Y/N you started working at Claremont Psychiatric Hospital two weeks ago. You love your work and you love the place where you are working. You have always been fascinated by human psychology and having contact with mentally ill people helps you to understand them.

You work in the C-Wing infirmary, you are not allowed to enter in internees’cell even if you have the key, it’s too dangerous. When they need special treatments David, the guard, brings them to the infirmary and you examine them there.

There are not a lot of inmates in your prison wing, only 15, you’ve never seen one of them, Martin Whitly. He is a serial killer who murdered 23 people, no one can enter his cell without an authorization and without the supervision of David, he is responsible for him. Your unhealthy curiosity makes you want to approach this cell but it’s far too risky.

You’d like to know what’s behind that cell. A monster or just a human who made mistakes? You are often told that you are a little naive to believe that all men have something good in them, but you are convinced of it.

****

It’s 9:00 in the morning and you’re in the infirmary, suddenly you heard someone knocking on the door. “Come in!” You shouted. It’s David, he seems upset. “Hello David! Are you alright?” You asked worried.

His brows were snapped together and the features of his faces were tense “Yes, yes I’m fine. I just have a … problem with Whitly, he hasn’t stopped complaining about headaches for a few days and I think I’ll have to bring him to you.“ He answerd, sweating.

“Oh… But you don’t have to worry David, I don’t have any problem with that, why are you so … anxious about that ? ”

“ I-I… I don’t like taking him out of his cell and I don’t want him to talk to you or any other nurse. But I’m obliged to bring this psychopath to you, when you’ll be alone with him, please be careful. I’ll stay outside to respect the confidentiality between you and your patient, but he’s very manipulative. Don’t listen to him, do your job and that’s it. If he tries anything, call me and I’ll take him back to his cell. ”

David was leaning against the door, arms crossed, looking at you concerned. You moved slowly towards him and in an attempt to comfort him, you caressed his arm gently.

“Okay… don’t worry.” you said with a sweet smile.

The moment David lefted the room, grinning from ear to ear you jumped for joy, you were finally going to meet Martin Whitly! You’re so excited to see what he looks like in real life and not on a piece of paper. You’ll finally see if he’s so impressive, if he’s so intimidating or if he is just as sweet as a lamb.

But your whole face started decomposing when you remembered David’s words about Martin. You’ve never seen David so nervous about a prisoner before. What was he scared of ? You know David has a crush on you so you thought maybe he is overreacting, he just wants to protect you from a criminal.

“That’s cute” You thought, smiling. “ But I’m a big girl, I can defend myself. who does he think I am? A helpless little girl” you mocked for yourself.

What is certain is that you weren’t afraid of Martin Whitly or not yet. You’re just a little nervous, but it’s David who’s making you unnecessarily stressed. You’re going to show David that you can handle it on your own.

****

It’s 5:00 PM now, you’re tidying the infirmary a little. It’s been a pretty quiet day today, except David’s visit this morning you didn’t have any visitors.

You heard a door slam in the hall, so you went to the little window next to the door to see what’s going on. There, he was there. Next to David was standing the surgeon, his hands handcuffed and slowly walking towards the infirmary, chains on his feet.

He is tall, compared to David’s height you think Martin is about six feet tall. You could hear the sound of his boots and chains echoing in the hall. He is imposing, he doesn’t seem very muscular but he have broad shoulders and thick thighs.

Your gaze on his legs, you looked up slowly looking at every details of his body. The closer he was, and the more you could see he was smirking. He was looking at you from the moment you were looking at the window. Disturbed by the way he was looking at you, you suddenly pulled out of the window, embarrassed that he saw you staring at him this way.

You heard the door handle moving, “Try to look natural” you said to yourself, your hands trembling.

The door opened, David and the surgeon silently enters the infirmary, Martin never taking his eyes off you.

“Mr. Whitly, I’’m going to tie you to Miss Y/N’s treatment table, I’’m going to leave your feet tied, you don’t have to get up or walk, you have to lie down while Miss Y/N examines you. I remind you that you must not touching her, intimidating her and you must not asking her informations about her and her personal life. If you break the rules, Miss Y/N will tell me and I will escort you directly to your cell even if you have not had the required care.” David warned in an authoritative tone, looking at the surgeon with a dismissive look.

The seconds seemed to be hours. They stared at each other like two dogs ready to fight. David had a tense face and Whitly was looking at him with an arrogant smile. "Is it clear” he whistled with his teeth clenched.

” Y-e-s. “ Whitly provoked, insisting on each letter.

David gave me a worried look and said, “If you have a problem, call me, I’m right outside the door. "I noded, giving him a falsely relaxed smile.

You are staring at the closed door, the silence is heavy in the room. Whitly is lying on the treatment table with his hands tied, staring at you intensely. You decided to break the silence

"So, Mr. Whitly, what’s the problem ? ”

“Please, call me Martin,” he grinned broadly “I’ve had severe headaches for a few days now and it happens at any time of the day.”

You blushed and looked away. “Okay, I’m going to examine you, if I hurt you, feel free to tell me. ”

You could feel his gaze on you while you were taking his blood pressure. He was charming, his curly salt and pepper hair looked so… soft ? He had a little whiter curl than the others just above his forehead and it made you melt. You love bearded men, you are served. He had strong forearms strewn with dark hair. He was very, very charming…

You grabbed your stethoscope so you could listen to his heart, you approached his white blouse with your hands and lifted it up gently to introduce your hand under it and then bring your hand up to his chest. The contact with his skin made you shiver, you can feel his chest rising faster and faster. Is it your touch that is causing this effect? You decided not to linger and removed your hand a little too quickly, you hadn’t noticed that your hands were shaking but he didn’t missed it.

“Are you cold miss Y/N?”

“W-What? ” you said , stuttering. He looked at your hands and made a movement towards them. “Oh… Oh uhm… N-no I-I-I… ” you didn’t know what to say, stress started to rise, if you showed him that you were afraid he would take advantage of it.

“Don’t be afraid of me, I’m the one who’s tied up, and you’re the one who has the tools to torture me. ” he mocked. You responded with a coy smile. Now you are feeling stupid, it’s so embarrassing.

You applied a tourniquet on his upper arm, “I’m goint to do a blood sample, i want to see if everything’s okay, it’ll hurt a little” you said as you approached the syringe on his arm.

“What a thrill” he laughed.

When the blood sample is finished, you put his sleeve back on correctly.

“I’ll give you the results next week, don’t worry I’m sure it’s just the lack of air, it must be difficult to be locked in the same room most of the day. David told me you could walk around under supervision for 30 minutes a day. ”

“The hardest part is the lack of human contact, having someone to talk to, I miss it.” he lamented with a false expression of exaggerated sadness.

“I understand, it must be very difficult for you…” You said, avoiding his gaze. You didn’t know what to say to comfort him. He looked so sad.

You got up to put your stethoscope and the syringe at the right place, your hand grazed his hand still attached to the treatment table, he took the opportunity of this proximity to grab your wrist firmly. You turned around, surprised by this contact a little too brutal for your liking. You tried to pull away , but it didn’t work. He had a lot of strength. So you turned to the door, wondering if you should call David.

“Please, please… Y/N ! Don’t call him, I don’t want to hurt you. You seem like a nice girl,“ he whispered, his puppy eyes searching any reaction on your face. "I’m just asking you for a little bit of your time. You could visit me at night after your work, I know you’re the last one to leave, one of the guard told me. ” he smirked, his eyes sparkling. “It’ll be our secret Y/N” .

You felt the pressure loosening slowly around your wrist and you used the occasion to removed your hand a little precipitously. What had just happened? Was he that lonely ? You slowly backed away not turning your back on him and knocked gently on the door to let David know he could come in.

A few seconds later, Whitly was gone, you checked out the window, Whitly walked away looking behind his back, to maintain a visual contact with you. But he was quickly corrected by David. You didn’t know what to think, you were lost.

****

In the corridor, David was getting irritated, “Whitly, look in front of you, you freak. ” They passed several doors until they arrived in front of the surgeon’s cell, David pushed him inside and came up to him to tie him to the wall by his pants.

“Ohhhh calm down David, I’ve been a good boy. ” He provoked. “Very pretty girl… don’t you think? ” he added with an arrogant smile.

David felt the anger inside him, a vein popped out in his neck. David’s movements became rougher and rougher as he attached Whitly’s pants to the wall.

“When she passed her hands under my blouse… Oh Boy… It was hard not to get hard. Those big eyes and that mouth… Hmmm… it must be so satisfying to see her on her knees looking at you with her wet eyes, her mouth around your co…” Whitly did not have the time to finish his sentence that David had violently pressed him against the wall of his cell, he was strangling him. The criminal wasn’t even trying to loosen his hands around his neck, he was just looking at David with a provocative smile.

“SHUT UP! Shut your fucking mouth or I’m going to… ” he warned, before finishing his sentence he let go of Whitly who was catching his breath. “Jealous, are we?” Whitly giggled breathless.

David pointed his finger at the surgeon’s face in a threatening way, “If you touch her, I’ll kill you. ” and walked away slamming the door. Martin walked up to the red line that crossed the room and gasped , “I’m going to do more than touching her, and she’ll to love it. “

****

It’s midnight, you are sitting in the infirmary with the key that opens the cells between your fingers, you slide it from one hand to the other, remembering Martin’s words. David came earlier to say goodbye, he had left a few minutes ago. You didn’t know what you had to do. You were struggling inside, a part of you is saying it is a very bad idea to go see Whitly in his cell. The other part of you is saying that anyway he was tied to a wall, what could he do to you? There was something exciting about breaking the rules. The danger excited you so much. When the adrenaline flows through your veins, when you know that what you’re doing is very wrong, you love it.

"Come on, let’s go” you sighed giving yourself some courage. You took headache medication with you, in case he needed it, you’re too kind. You also took handcuffs because you know he doesn’t have his handcuffs when he’s in his cell, you prefer to know him tied up. Deep down you don’t really know him.

You are walking through the dark corridors of the hospital until you reached the door before the hall of Whitly’s cell. You walked past that door and locked it behind you, the path was dark, the only light was from the criminal’s cell. You were slowly walking towards that door that was forbidden to you. Your heart was pounding, and you didn’t know if it was excitement or nervousness.

You were only two steps away from the door. You raised your hand to knock on the door and then lowered it, you decided to enter, you don’t need to have his permission, so you gently slide the key into the lock. *click* The door opened, you walked in indecisively, he is sitting at his desk, his back is facing you, he slowly turned around and smirked at you.“Y/N” he pronounced your name with a hint of ecstasy in the voice. “Please, come in! »

You came in and closed the door behind you, unsure of what you are really doing, in your right hand were the handcuffs, in your left hand the medications. Martin first looked at your left hand

« Hahnnnnn, you are so sweet Y/N” he said with a fake grateful look. Then his gaze moved towards your right hand and his eyes darkened. “What are you going to do with that? ” he asked emotionless.

“I-I… don’t take it personally I just prefer to take my precautions and… » you mumbled coyly.

With puppy eyes, he interrupted you "Please don’t treat me like an animal, I already am all day. "You lowered your head, sorry for what he had just told you, so you didn’t see that his sad face had turned into a wicked face.

"Okay,” you said with your eyes still lowered. “But I keep them on me and I won’t hesitate to use them” you said with a fake assured look.

He stared at you for a few seconds, “You are in charge sweetheart. "he said with a large smile. he got up from his chair and walked towards you, you saw the cable attached to his pants stretching as he moved forward, he took a step forward, you took a step back, he walked until he is stopped by the rope, his feet not crossing the red line drawn on the ground.

"Are you going to be glued to the wall like a scared little girl or are you going to have the courage to come and talk to me a little closer? »

"I’m not afraid of you. » Liar, you were terrified, you knew it was wrong but you liked it. You love the danger that is coming from him. You love the way he dared you to approach him, you’d never done anything so exciting in your life.

"I’m waiting. » he said impatient.

You gulped. You moved slowly towards him and you stopped at 1 meter from his body.

"That’s what I thought… girl. Incapable of crossing a red line.” he whispered falsely disappointed, turning to the wall behind him, moving away from the red line. You couldn’t see his face anymore, his back is facing you now.

“Hey, I’m not a child! "You protested, as you rushed towards him, passing that red line and getting closer to him quickly. "You think I’m weak, but I’m a woman with…”

Before you finished your speech, you hardly have the time to see him turning around, he grabbed you by your arms, sticked you against the wall and he smashed his hand against your mouth. Shocked, you tried to struggle and scream, but his hand muffled the sound of your voice while his body crushed yours against the wall so you couldn’t move.

“Sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh, stop screaming and struggling like that or you’ll make me angry." he whispered in your ear. He waited a few seconds until you calm down and finallly gently removed his hand from your mouth.

"Please, please…” You sobbed.“ Don’t kill me… I’m begging you… P-Please…” You begged, your eyes flooded with tears.

“Kill you?” he said amused. “I said I wanted human contact, I’m not going to kill a pretty doll like you,” he groaned, sticking his nose in your neck. You were relieved that he didn’t want to kill you. He began to give wet kisses along your neck and you started to relax. You felt a warmth growing in your stomach, your hands getting sweaty. The pressure his body exerted on yours made your head spin, trapped between the wall and his hard body, you were turned on.

Suddenly you heard a noise from the handcuffs, he took them and put one of your wrists in them.`

“W-what are you doing” you asked in an anxious and begging voice.

“You insisted on keeping them on you, so now you have to assume the consequences” He said with a face full of lust.

#martin whitly x reader #michael sheen #martin whitly smut #prodigal son fanfiction

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whathappensnexts-blog · 4 years ago

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Chapter 1, part 2 of 2.

***Warning. In this story there is use of drugs and slight descriptions of violence. But there is also love. Enjoy :D ***

Yeah. A good adventure I thought, as we were passing that beach. Finn never completely returned from that bad trip. From that moment on he wasn’t sure if other people could understand what he was saying, so he had to, very anxiously, explain exhaustingly everything he said. Or at least most of it. Now we were walking past that beach and heading to that girl’s house, were the party was. In this period of time I was having some troubles with myself on an emotional and psychological level. I was struggling to understand myself as a young man, a young adult now, fresh out to the world. My first identity crisis.

We arrived at the girl’s place. When we took the turn on the street where the house was, we saw a bunch of people spread out along the road for at least fifty meters. Were they our guys? We could see some familiar figures on the dim lit street. They seemed too many to be our guys. Who were the others? Why are they separated like this? Something had happened, I was sure of it. The vibrations were clear.

“Sup.” We greeted the two closest to us. Instead of an answer we got no recognition and all we heard was “Hey c’mon George, let me punch you?” What? Before I could even get a grip of the situation, George was bend in half and holding his stomach. Jack, the guy that hit him was a heavier than normal guy, at the moment completely and utterly wasted and seeming to have no understanding and not a single care about what was happening in this world.

Finn looked at me nervously. He understood what I had realized just now as well. That we were too loud, in a too quiet neighborhood, at 3 o’clock in the morning, in a town full of old people and he was carrying all the grass we had at this moment. So, he stayed behind with George and I went on with Jack. Jack was moving with a slopy but light walk and he seemed to be unable to control the movement of his head. It was following the rest of his movements and it seemed kinda wobbly, like those funk pop figurines. My presence seemed to make no difference to him. When I asked about what was going on, he only told me that he kissed Pauly. Damn.

We regrouped with the others a bit lower on the street. Now I could see them. They were our guys plus two others who we already knew from around here. The story so far was like this. Jack was hella drank and he kissed Pauly, probably a bit violently. The thing is that Pauly was a very close friend of Jim, one of our pals, and Don (who was not one of us) was in love with her since forever. Poor guy. You could see that something had crumbled inside him. Then a few steps away there was Matt and Nick. Matt was one of us and Nick was a guy we knew like Don. Some words were exchanged in a violent manner. Jim said to Jack something along the lines of “You bastard. You did a really stupid thing you know that? Stay back. Don’t come here”. To which Jack replied a bit confused “Leave me alone”. He wasn’t sure whether to be angry or not. He had no idea what was happening. Jim said “I am warning you back off” and as a response he got a big blot of spit across his face.

Naturally a brawl broke out. Finn and George had caught up with us now and Finn was getting more and more nervous. He told me he had to go. I understood. There was absolutely no reason for the cops to find the weed he had hidden in his pants. Not today thank you very much. He told me to call him when the spirits calm down. The others were trying to separate the guys that were now rolling on the street. Don was mumbling “Let him go dude… let him go” although it was unclear to whom he was talking. Or even if he wanted to be heard. No, he was in his own world trying to gather his pieces. Nick was like “Damn…those idiots” and did nothing. I wouldn’t blame him. He was a relatively small and round guy, no match for the other two who had descended in a beast state as prompted by the booze and their rage. George wanted no part in this now and I wanted a drink. Me and Matt separated the two of them fairly easily. We went on the corner of the pavement to try and calm things down. Of course, this did not happen. Instead some more harsh words were exchanged and then Jim hit Jack out of nowhere while the later was immobilized by Matt. That sneaky bastard. That would have infuriated me as well whether I was drunk or not. As a result, Jack took a bite out of Matt’s hand almost cutting a piece from the guy. A second brawl broke out this time between Matt and Jim against Jack. Don and Nick were already gone. Now me and George had to separate them. We did although at some point Jack tried to hit me but he didn’t succeed. He punched George though again, this time in the face. Poor man.

Now the group was broken up. Only me George and Jack remained with the last one having short manic episodes in intervals of seconds “I’ll kill them…those fuckers…I’ll call them to come here now…Bastards” and then his attention would fly to something else only to return in the same manner as before. The only thing that existed in between this man’s ears was emptiness. You couldn’t talk, you couldn’t reason with him even in the drunk sense. He had gone completely of the rail.

At this point I called Finn. “Yeah I can still hear the bastard…No I won’t come now call me later.”. Right. Why didn’t I leave this man and go, just as the others did? I had no desire to deal with a madman at 3 o’clock in the morning. You see, the reason for me not leaving him in his fate was something else besides friendship. Friendship tends to collapse, at least momentarily, in situations like these. No, I was in love with that deranged fool. That so out of control drunkard that was now trying to rip out some metal bars of the street and screaming like a demon. I could see what was going on inside him. I could see he was in a great deal of emotional pain. And it pained me greatly as well. I could see the feelings of worthlessness and failure beating him up. He was torturing himself for some reason I think I could understand but wasn’t able to admit even to myself. That was because he himself was ashamed for whatever he was feeling right now. He was blocking his feelings from himself and that was what was causing that internal clash. How peculiar. I could feel what he was feeling. It is true that love opens a door of genuine understanding that connects you with the other person. An understanding beyond words. A silent most sincere understanding. Now his neck was red, veins all popped out and his face was frozen with intensity. And he was screaming.

George was shocked. “Damn… Alcohol doesn’t do this…why did you let him take drugs? That’s where this is coming from.” He was right. About a week ago he had his first encounter with MDMA. He wanted to do this with me and Finn and I wanted him to do it with us…mostly in hopes of something happening between us. No luck of course. It appears the amphetamines had woken up this lurking despair inside him. Now he stood up and approached the big green street trash bins and pushed them down the road. That was too far. Luckily at this hour there were hardly any cars driving by. Otherwise a really bad accident would have happened. Me George and a cashier from a kiosk near us put the bins back in their place. We thanked him and apologized in an awkward manner. He said nothing. He only looked at us baffled and maybe disappointed. In the meantime, Jack had crossed the road and went on the beach. Thank God at least no one would hear us there and no one would get hurt.

Things started to calm down now. He knew he had pushed it too far and that thought helped ground him in this reality. I could see parts of him coming back, though he was still throwing fits of rage. At one point he pushed George on the rocks but he wasn’t hurt. He also tried to punch me again but didn’t succeed “Jesus Christ man! Get a hold of yourself”. He shook me off but he did hear me. Sometime later Finn arrived and we smoked a joint. We deserved at least that after dealing with this madness. At some point Jack took his clothes off in a last burst of energy. When this cooled off, he hugged me saying something along the lines of how good of a friend I was to him. When he broke off, I could see through his boxers that he had a boner. But that was it for the day. No one was in any kind of flirting mood after all this. We finished the joint and we each returned to our places. What were Jack and George thinking when they were alone, I wonder? How did they feel? That would be interesting to know.

Why am I saying all this? As I said I was struggling with my identity at that time. The events that followed the next days led me to make a decision that would have a tremendous impact on the course of my life. That decision was the first consciously planted seed of goodness that sprung into a huge strong tree, from which the fruits I still enjoy to this day. And I will be enjoying them for as long as I choose to. It was a tree that touched a vein of the world. So naturally its fruits were divine.

The next day went as expected. All of us were hungover each for their own reason. I insisted that me and Jack go for a walk to talk about the events of last night. I wanted to talk to him before the others did. I don’t remember what was said exactly. I only remember patting him in the back while we were seating on the wave breaker and he pressed his head on my shoulder. The he lifted it up. “are we gay?” he asked baffled. A mix of emotions zapped me in a flash. I did feel that he had a gay part in him so, after this I felt like I had hopes to realize my dream of love. I said something along the lines of “What does it matter” or “No one can define you but yourself”. I didn’t feel the need to make any suggestions at this point. I only wanted to know if I had hopes. After that it was only a matter of him falling in love with me, which was the fun part. Or at least that was what I thought at the time. Now I just wanted to make him feel good about himself. Help him heal from last night’s events. Later on, we were leaving and we were about to part ways when we stumbled upon a friend of ours. We chatted a bit with her but we had to leave. At this point Jack hugged me out of the blue really tight. I was surprised as he rarely expressed himself like this especially after choosing to be vulnerable and let his emotions out. I could feel his ‘thank you’. I did make him feel good after all. And that made me feel good as well.

Later that night we gathered at Fred’s place. He had left early the other night so, he did not know what had happened. Tyler wasn’t even there yesterday. He had spent the night in a hotel with his girlfriend. Everyone that night gave a cold shoulder to Jack. Jim and Matt were nowhere to be seen. He claimed to have no recollection of last’s night’s events. It really was like the man was possessed by a demon. Don’t temper with the chemistry of your body. It will drive you mad if you can’t handle it. But none of us including me seemed to understand this. So naturally we kept going.

A few days later I saw Jack and Pauly hanging out by themselves, talking. And a few days later they were a couple. Damn. It didn’t hurt as much as I expected though. Probably I was in denial. I thought they wouldn’t be together for long, that they were unfit for each other. I was only half right. They were totally unfit for each other but their relationship lasted for four years on and off. It has been toxic some times. Maybe even a bit violent as rumor has it. Madness. They drove away from each other only to be reunited by their insecurities and the safety of the known. Why do I say this? Why not by their faith to love, by their faith to themselves to make it work? Maybe it was so, the first time they broke up and got together again. Maybe even the second. Hardly the third. And definitely not the fourth. By that point it was a parody. It is hard to move on in the drug culture.

That December when they first got together, we went to party to Jack’s place. For four consecutive days. The booze and the weed were endless. The second day we did MDMA again. We tried to find LSD but we had no luck there. Plus, Finn was not so eager to return to acid after his last bad trip. So, we settled for MDMA. And there we were at some point in the night mostly naked. Me and Jack talking frantic gibberish about feelings as prompted by the drug. There was a feeling of loving the whole world along with a wondrous sense of touch. At some point he leaned in and kissed me. The emotions I felt were inexplicable. I felt it coming just a few fragments of a second before it did. Or at least hoped so much for it to happen, that it did. I just couldn’t believe it that it finally happened. I tried to kiss him back but he had already pulled away. “Are we gay?” he said to himself. “Why did you try to kiss me back?”. “I…I didn’t…”. Boom. Second wave of shock. Come on what did you expect…He left quickly and went to join the others in the living room. I waited for a bit alone in the other room. Hoping that he’d come back, close the door behind him and stay with me. But no. Of course not. I was feeling both happy and sad at the same time. I went to join the others. We never ever talked about this and that was the last thing that happened between us. I was amazed by myself about how easily I could pretend that it never happened. That everything was ok. Even under the influence of a drug that magnifies your feelings tenfold if not more.

Now a few months later I am faced with a dilemma. What should I do? Should I keep trying to win him over despite him being happy in the relationship he already is? Should I insist? Or should I accept reality as it is and let him live his life and simply wish he is happy?

I chose what I already felt but barely understood. I chose love. In the truest sense. I chose to wish them good. The moment I chose that I felt…relieved. And I smiled. The Gods smiled as well and thus the slag of darkness began to break apart. Later I had many chances to manipulate their relationship. It took quite some effort not to do so. I had to remind myself the love I was serving. Let it come naturally if it even is to come. Do good, genuine good and you’ll be blessed. And so, it did. That was the grand decision of my life. To accept reality as it is, to let go but still harbor love in my heart. I didn’t know it then but that was the choice that changed my life. Love. Always choose love. You’ll never regret it. There was only one very hopeful question arising now. What happens next?

#writters #young writters #writting #story #adventure #literature #young artists #gay literature #love #gay love #gonzo journalism

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ohauras · 7 years ago

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EVENT 04 : good or evil, folks.... what’s it gonna be????

thoughts :

ur neighborhood pixie is definitely suffering a panic when everything starts going down, but trust me, she really does try her hardest to convince herself that this is what she wants

and welllllll.... it’s not, sorry not sorry — our lil disaster child is scared out of her mind, and she’s not sure she wants to suffer for people she barely knows.... u know, every monster for themselves out here :/

“haven’t i bled enough?”

a large part of her, like i said, is scared but also resentful of the fact that they expect her to stand her ground for them??? why should i??? what have they ever done for me??? basically: she likes to say people are good, but let’s be honest she’s a pessimist when it comes to ( human?? ) nature...

also aura is used to being punished pretty severely for her mistakes, so the minute metzger promises pain — she’s out, sorry fam

what about when she does leave?? well, of course she’s almost immediately relieved to remove herself from a stressful, panic-inducing situation but this fosters itself in a pretty unhealthy way??

by interacting with KANTA, she claims to be validated in abandoning everyone because her actions had a higher morality than cheshire’s??? but she’s forgetting that this was extremely selfish, and that her vices aren’t subjective?? so we’re fostering that self-serving trait of hers while also

shame.... lots of shame when the doors come down and the cryptids are being dragged out, she can’t even look them in the eye ( but why??? this is a new emotion for aura, and she’s going to struggle immensely with it throughout the event as an overarching theme, in tandem with general q’s of morality )

stay tuned for adventures in shame, regret, psychological torture, sneks, panic, inconsideration, repentance!!!! and many more!!!!!

timeline : open / closed plots

aura runs into [ OPEN PLOT ] just before shit hits the fan, and here she’s trying to hype herself up??? basically a huge shit post on metzger and the menagerie, so bitter friends — this is the plot for you!! maybe they’re giving aura a pep talk or maybe they’re planting those seeds of doubt... who knows??? this interaction will have an impact on aura throughout the plot, so she may find herself blaming your character for feeding her demons or become angry / relieved / etc?? with herself for not taking their advice to stand up for the cryptids

shit has hit the fan folks, and what better time for a reunion?? aura runs into NOAH, somewhat of a former friend, and she’s so relieved to see a familiar face that she gets very emotional??? she confides in him about her fears and ultimately, her decision to leave — and with his support, she can ease some of that anxiety and tension!!! poor bbies have suffered enough at the hands of other people, and aura won’t forget how he stood behind her, even in a decision that ends up being pretty problematic for everyone

well... nobody said she was mi:6 worthy.... ya girl has been caught!!! SHAHRZAD catches aura in the act as she’s trying to leave, but what do they do??? well, for starters — negotiation!! but when valiance fails and shazi feels aura slipping away, she’s willing to do what she needs to in order to hold this rebellion together, even if it means violence??? aura is deeply affected and hurt by this, ultimately slipping away with the use of teeny tiny pixie form!!!

see ya suckers!!!! pixie is homefree and it feels good??? but also, what’s this super negative emotion all of a sudden?? and cue KANTA, who kinda finds aura at her breaking point, very much torn and balancing between the point of regret and relief!! they talk through their decision to leave / not partake, and aura will use this convo to later condemn cheshire and defend her own actions... yikes!!! she’s convinced that at least she had a sense of loyalty where he has none, and she’ll exploit that to her benefit..... even if that’s wrong

la révolution est morte, sorry folks.... and as the doors of the train are being ripped from their hinges and the barricades are being broken down, LENNY is the first face aura sees!! and almost immediately the excuses she’s tried to hide behind fall away?? lenny’s one of the first people to reach out to aura when she arrives at the menagerie, and watching this sort of ideal vision of who she, herself, wants to be suddenly being dragged from the train really ignites this fury in the lil pixie?? she may have dodged punishment for the rebellion, but there’s gonna be hell to pay for the way she goes after the guards stupid enough to lay a hand on this selkie........

tent hopping time, ladies and gents!!! aura is gonna be moved around a lot in order for me to get in as many interactions as i can but first stop?? SOL of course!!! my actual mom will be talking with aura through her choice to leave and solidifying the validation in that decision she made to leave ( and not to her benefit either folks..... yikes!! ) — but aura ultimately decides that she... knows best... get it?? okay, whatever.... basically, our little pixie has opened her doors to pure destruction!!! but cue tent hop, no whispering allowed :/

ready to be roasted, aura??? CARTER is absolutely not here for aura’s shit, and he will not hesitate to yell at her for making an extremely stupid decision that has hurt everyone around her.... seriously he’s gonna chastise the hell out of her, buuuuuuutttt also while sympathizing a little bit with the fear she acted on — though, this interaction will mostly get that guilt cookin’ and encourage aura to understand selfishness as a vice, not a virtue ( even tho that’s like the total opposite of their dynamic lmao ) — annnnd another tent hop!!!

and just as redemption is on the horizon, OMARI and his beetle buds crash the party!!!!! aura feels comforted by seeing him again after shit has gone down, esp since she knows he stands behind her..... right???? noPE YOU THOUGHT WRONG!!! he’s gonna do a total 360 and guilt her imMENSELY for her decision to leave the train!! why would i do this?? because you told me to??? what do you mean no you didn’t?? what do you mean i’m a monster after all??? this thread is just going to be a general ouch :/

can i get a drumroll for the softest rabbit in the land??? time to hit up aura’s good ole pal THEO!!! right now, she’s kinda relapsing into panic, esp with the extremely negative emotions pushed on by omari, and so we’re falling back into justification territory!! so she looks to our white rabbit to support her in this ( uh oh!!! ) and in talking to herself so as to convince herself that she’s ultimately a good person even if she makes reallllly bad decisions, aura inadvertently corrupts poor theo with the idea that it’s perfectly okay to be self-serving..... whoops??? well.... u guys know what time it is....

mask on!!! MAL + aura have a run in, and here’s a chance for them to play off each other’s facades and convince themselves of their own self-image!!! aura falls deeper down the rabbit hole with this interaction, really latching on to this idea that it’s okay for her to be selfish because what’s wrong with a lil self-help??? yeah i hurt a bunch of other people..... who cares lol???? talk about an unhealthy dynamic... am i right or am i right???

u thought we could have nice things in this roleplay??? you thought wrONG!!! [ OPEN PLOT ] could seriously murder aura right now, and though she’s sitting on her high horse, they’re gonna knock her right back down again!!! how dare you??? what kind of cryptid are you?? maybe aura has indirectly put them or someone they care about in jeopardy, so feel free to bring on a roasting for the ages!!! or maybe just a general guilt?? your character is a total wreck and aura has to deal with the fact that she’s the one who caused that?? idk this plot is pretty open-ended, i just need to make aura a lil vulnerable again in time for...

the crown jewel of the night!!!!! aura kinda runs off, not prepared to be thrown in another tent with somebody who’s going to rake her across the coals or villainize her beyond the point she has already done herself??? but whoops, the guards are not about to deal w/ her shit and maybe she’s gonna get punished after all??? but nope!!! because in swoops actual angel EMME!!!! they hide out in em’s tent and talk over the night’s events before making it back to the train where.... oh shit, her train car is a total wreck??? aura is somewhat hysterical, trying to piece everything hopelessly back together as the guilt and shame and all these negative emotions really kick in; ultimately offering her train car up to emme to share until they can fix what’s been broken!!! and i end the night soft as hell for these two beans

and if you’re not really feeling these plots, don’t worry!!! i’m 100% flexible and i’ll do whatever i can to make sure i cater to anyone wanting to plot!!!

themes :

i will do this..... another time.......

general consensus :

mostly negative character regression..... but hey!! there’s at least some good stuff in there too????

update: new plots have pushed aura back onto the road to redemption!!!

#❛ event.#mrpg:plots #bless andy for inspiring me to actually est a timeline #what would i do without them truly #abuse mention #abuse tw #just to be safe!!#and pls tell me if i left anything out!!!#i did this pretty early in the morning :/

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hak-7 · 4 years ago

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Asa it is Allah who created Language It is Allah SWA who taught Adam to teach the Nature of things. Take the word Luck.

It is really an acronym L.U.C.K. What makes the word good is it’s meaning.

“Laboring Under Correct Knowledge”.

Let us research everything . The best way to research is simply ask the question “Why”.Asa Allah SWA says the majority of us will not take the road that is steep, but prefer the path of least resistance.

Allah SWA gave the human being two fathers. Adam our natural father, and Ibrahim (Abraham) our father of Education.

For African Americans, the steep road is to grow up and take responsibility for our own lot. Elijah Mohammed did it, Dr king did it, Booker T Washington did it!

Did What? They followed the road that was steep. Nowadays our Men want to quote philosophers Shaiks Imams and scholars.

And bypass the Men who are trying their level best to free us indeed. Men like Like Prophet Mohammed, W. Deen Mohammed, and his true Students.

We realize the road steep is feeding the people in the time of deprivation.

Not with just words but with Beans Greens cabbage and corn. And I what will make “You” know the road that is steep?https://www.instagram.com/p/CGBrtL1Fsmt/?igshid=17afkurtukgrbThe Path Towards Love And Unity

Only if all the Christians would follow the true teachings of Jesus, the son of Mary, and the Muslims community as a whole would follow the Qur'an as it has been beautifully exemplify in the life of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w), and the Jews would awaken out of their slumber and accept the divine missions of Jesus and Muhammad (s.a.w)...then we all would coverage upon the bridge that units the hearts, minds, and souls of mankind for the purpose of serving and worshiping God and God alone. Whose proper name is Allah.

It is the same bridge that Moses, Jesus, Muhammad (s.a.w), and those prophets that had came before them, and the sincere lovers of truth had to crossed to be among the beloved ones of Allah's Grace.

Qur'an [4:69]..."All who obey Allah and the messenger are in the company of those on whom is the Grace of Allah,- of the prophets (who teach), the sincere (lovers of Truth), the witnesses (who testify), and the Righteous (who do good): Ah! what a beautiful fellowship!"

Al Hajj Asmar Junaid AbdullahW. DEEN MOHAMMED SPEAKS" quotes

leadership for the working masses.

"People who cannot recognize the benefits and the worth of law are symbolized in the Bible by the donkey. The Book (Bible) tells us that when the Christ comes in his glory to present himself as the Christ, he will come riding a donkey. Jesus told his disciples to go out and find an untied donkey, and that if anyone should question them they should say that the master has need for them. In the spiritual symbolism of the scripture, who does this donkey represent? The donkey represents the ignorant people who do not have the intelligence or the guidance to direct themselves, or who do not even have the mental vision to respect direction and law when it is given to them."

WORKING MASSES ARE "DONKEY PEOPLE"

"The working masses of the society are represented as the "donkey people" because they cannot guide themselves. Work is a necessary requirement of life, but human beings should not work like mechanical people working in a factory - like pieces in a machine with no sense of value of their labor. The working masses should recognize the importance of their work and the importance of their being in the society. Jesus sat on the donkey (masses) and guided them into the right way.

The book also tells us that someone else had been in possession of the donkey before the disciples brought it to Jesus. The one that Jesus came after had already been captured and possessed by someone. But, Jesus came to take possession away from the owner. If you think a little bit about the donkey you will understand why this animal was used by the writers of scripture to symbolize the working masses of the people."

Imam W. Deen Mohammed, circa 1976-1977

Scripture uses animals to describe people.

…They live very comfortably with the wealth of the poor and suffering souls and this way existed for hundreds of years, two thousand years, in fact. For the People of the Book (Jews and Christians) it existed for more than a thousand years where they prided themselves in being the enlightened few having the divine will and spark in them and called themselves a higher order in creation than the common people of the earth. They put themselves in the heavens over all the other people that they called animals. They call all of us animals…

…When they are talking about donkeys in the Bible they are talking about people. When they are talking about snakes in the Bible they are talking about people. When they are talking about dogs in the Bible they are talking about people. There is no animal in the Bible that is a real animal in their minds when they were writing that. All the animals in the Bible are human beings. -- Imam W. D. Mohammed (2005)The roots of white Supremacy making a human figure into a DEVINE figure! The truth is that WE SHOULD MAKE NO IMAGES OR LIKENESS UNTO THE DEVINE.A ND WE SHOULD KNOW THAT TO GIVE G-D A SON,IS TO FORCE THE MIND TO GIVE HIM A RACIAL FEATURE! THIS WAS THE TRICK OF DIABOLICAL WORLD DOMINATING PSYCHOLOGY! WHITE IS RIGHT,WHY? BECAUSE G-DS SON IS WHITE,A D HAVEN'T WE BEEN THROUGHLY BRAINWASHED TO BELIEVE THAT,"WHEN YOU SEE THE SON YOU'VE SEEN THE FATHER FOR THE SON IS THE FATHER! OH MY PEOPLE NOW IS THE TIME TO UN-WHITE WASH YOUR PERCEPTION OF YOUR SAVIOUR! YOUR BIBLE TELLS YOUR THAT,"G-D IS A SPIRIT AND THAT THOSE WHO WORSHIP HIM MUST WORSHIP HIM IN SPIRIT" SLS YOU ARE FAMILIAR IN JOHN," NO MAN HAS EVER SEEN G-D AT ANY TIME" NOW YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE AWARE THAT IN JOHN 20:17 JESUS TOLD MARY MADELEINE "TOUCH ME NOT FOR I HAVE NOT YET ASCENDED TO MY FATHER,BUT GO A D TELL MY BRETHREN THAT I GO TO MY FATHER A ND YOUR FATHER,TO MY G-D AND YOUR G-D" PEOPLE KNOW THIS THAT THERE IS NO G-D BUT ONE G-D,THAT NOTHING IS LIKE HIM HE NIETHER BEGETS NOR IS HE BEGOTTEN AND THERE IS NOTHING LIKE HIM! FIND ME SOMEWHERE IN THE BIBLE WHERE JESUS(PEACE ON HIM)TOLD US THAT HE WAS G- D AND THAT WE SHOULD WORSHIP HIM! NO,NO,HE TAUGHT US TO PRAY," OUR FATHER WHO ART IN HEAVEN,HOLLOWETH BE THY NAME,THY KINGDOM COME, ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN" SO PEOPLE DON'T SEE ME AS AN ADVERSARY SEE ME AS A HELPING FRIEND TO STAMP "WHITE SUPREMACY IMAGERY IN THE FORM OF A VISIBLY WHITENED G-D" REMOVE ALL RACIAL IMAGES THAT ATTEMPT TO PORTRAY THE DEVINE" GIVE ME SOME FEEDBACK LETS START A DIALOGUE! PEACE AND LOVE!THE ROBE

Lost Knowledge

Now, let’s continue here. What is the robe symbolic of? Do you recall? Symbolic of the way you use the knowledge, the dress, symbolic of the way you use the knowledge. The sheet is the knowledge, the pages, the script.Remember now, when Jesus was crucified, he lost his robe and they gambled to see who would possess his robe. Now if you understand the meaning of robe, then you should understand that this world doesn’t have the true knowledge, the true use of the knowledge that Jesus gave them.

The knowledge was lost from Jesus’ body and it fell in the hands of crooked sinners. They gambled for it. Not only that, the silver cup, the special cup, it was lost too. Which tells us not only the proper use of the knowledge was lost, but also the moral cleanliness was lost from the religion.Silver chalice I think they call it. Is that what they call it? I think it is called Silver chalice. It was lost from Christianity. So how would they explain this? Ask the preacher next Sunday morning at 11 o’clock. Ask him. Say preacher; please tell me what it means in Christianity when they say that they lost the Silver chalice, the silver cup. Ask the preacher, how they can have the shroud of Jesus, in this city that is called Turin.

When the Bible says that his robe fell into the hands of sinners and they gambled to see who would possess it. So how can they have his robe there? If they have it, sinners gave it to them and if the sinners gave it up, it wasn’t fit to wear. That’s right. That robe wasn’t fit to wear. After it fell into the hands of sinners, who would want to wear it?

What is sweeter than honey?

Let’s continue now, it says he gave them another riddle. And this riddle is: “What is sweeter than honey?” And “What is stronger than a lion?”So he gave two riddles. In fact four parts to it.Second one is, “What is sweeter than honey?What is stronger than a lion?” All right. You know honey means the beauty of pure scripture. How do we know this? We know it because in the Qur’an this word is used. Honey is a good word for scripture. The honey is the essence of the flower and flowers are symbolic of beautiful culture.What is sweeter than the beauty that G-d offers you? What is sweeter than the sweetness that you find in G-d’s pure scripture? That’s what he’s telling them. And what is stronger than a lion? What he’s telling them is that, the east has honey.

They have the beauty of G-d’s revelation. And you have the strength of a lion. I’ve got something that makes you stronger, and I’ve got something to give you to make your doctrine sweeter than their honey.You see this thing? Yes, it’s plain. So he gave them, the Gentile world, the doctrine of love, the love of Christ that was sweeter than the moral and spiritual teachings to weak people, than the pure teachings of the Prophet. It’s sweeter to them … that G-d loves you sinners so much, that he gave his only begotten son, that he should be scorned, mocked, spat on, tortured, crucified, and die and be buried for your sins. Oh that’s sweet to ignorant weak people, sweeter than the truth of G-d’s scripture. So he said what is sweeter than honey? This lie I am going to give you is sweeter than the pure honey of Scripture that the east has.

Cheated Samson out of his heifer

And what is stronger than a lion? This subtle psychology…. (indiscernible) and he himself was going to destroy the Philistines. They have cheated him out of his heifer; I am talking about right now!The Christian Church that he thought would be his heifer betrayed him. Say oh, you can have business, you can have media, you can have this, but you are not going to run our churches. The Gentile doesn’t want any Jews over their churches. If you want to have something, you can have Peter. Go and tutor the Pope in secrecy. He’ll accept it. But these ordinary Gentiles are not going to accept that no Jew rule over them.So you mean to tell me you are not going to give me my heifer? So why don’t you, can’t you all do it through me, can’t you all carry out my orders?No we can’t do it. They are not going to listen to it. Well very good. Well then can I tell you what kind of doctrine you should give to the masses that won’t follow Peter?Yes it’s okay. All right. I’m going to make bread again. I’m going to get on a wheel. I’m going to make Marxism. I’m going to make Communism.I’m going to make the Age of Reason. I’m going to exalt logic. I’ll give them some new flour, is that okay? Well that’s okay. As long as you don’t take over the church. No, I won’t bother the church. Okay. Go on to the wheel again. It’s okay.

Bring society down on me and them

Now listen. After all that he still was not satisfied. Is that right? Yeah look at the story now, remember, he still is not satisfied. So he said, “I am blind, but I got something that they don’t know I’ve got. I got special power, in my arms.” “All I want to do is just have somebody show me to the pillars of the foundation of their society. And if I just can get to the two pillars that hold up the structure of their society, I’m going to bring it down on me and them.”So Samson goes and stands between the two pillars with the help of a little boy. He couldn’t see but he used the help of a little boy. What is the help of that little boy? Psychology. Psychology.

Don’t think it’s another person; he’s not even a person. Persons carry it out, but he’s a knowledge body. Then he goes and he used a little boy, psychology. Don’t human beings use psychology before they use intelligence?That’s why in psychology in this particular context it’s called a little boy. Your little children, before they are able to compete with you on an intelligence plane, they already using psychology on you. So psychology is an early development in the human being. That’s why the Jahcubite’s cousin, Fard Muhammad said Yakub conceived his idea at the age 6, as a little boy, a psychology. He’ll be surprised to know that I know that. I hope he gets this. I understand that he’s back home now. So he’ll get this message, Insha ‘Allah. Now, let me continue. With the help of psychology, he finds his way to the foundations of the new society. And when he gets to the foundation, what does he do? He forms a cross of himself and he begins pressing with all his might. That’s what the Scripture says. Said he pressed with all his might, with all his strength on the pillars, forming of himself a cross. What does this mean? This is more than Trinitarianism, this is the psychology of the mentality that Trinitarianism has produced.

Weaknesses in the mentality that trinitarianism has produced

He has now learned that there are certain weaknesses in the mentality that Trinitarianism has produced. And he knows that he can appeal to their emotions, and he can push in two directions at the same time.He didn’t pull the pillars, he pushed. He can push in opposite directions at the same time. Make one people give in to emotions, and the other people give in to logic. Push them. So that some will become highly emotional and some will become highly logical.And in doing this the logic will act against the emotions, and emotions will act against the logic. The emotional makeup will kill the logic, the logic will offend the emotions, the society will be divided against itself and the pillars will fall. Don’t you know that’s a strategy that is used in this Society? Whenever the hidden evil in the structure is about to be exposed they began firing the society with emotion, sentiment, flower children, love for everybody, crazy kind of sentimentality and emotionalism. They fire it up and build up strong emotions, this is depressing. Now when he does it it’s going to drop the whole thing. If he can be successful and bring in the sentimental and emotional elements against the logic, it’s going to destroy the whole thing.But look, he will certainly, he will be killed, as a knowledge body. He was already blind wasn’t he? What the hell has he lost? Nothing. Once he brings it down, he would start up all over again. Do, ra, mi, fa, sol, la, ti.

By the Grace of G-d, through IWDM, America was not destroyedJust in a few years that have passed us dear people, that scheme has tried to destroy America. But by the grace of G-d, through me, America was not destroyed. Why do I say through me? Because I was the only one that came out when the trend was to go in the form of the cross. When the trend was to become emotional, highly emotional and give one side to dry logic, I came up in the middle of that action and said there is a scheme going on, there is a trick going on.This whole thing is designed to fire up your sentiments, your emotions and topple the society. Somebody must have heard me and believed others who had been talking before I started, and all of it came together to save America. Yes.

See they didn’t believe others who were saying, there is a scheme, there is a hidden scheme. But when I began to speak, they say look, now we know this boy, we’ve been watching this boy since his father raised him up. We know that this boy is not a tool of outside influence. So if he says these things that ring a bell, where did he get it from? We believe maybe G-d is inspiring Wallace D. Mohammed. So they went back to the desk. And they begin to pull out things from the old file and they studied history all over again. And they said that Wallace D. Mohammed is an inspired man, he sees something. And what he is saying is what we’ve heard before. It might be something to it. How else could he get it?

Simple Simon met a pie man on the way to the square

Say oh no, let’s check this thing. Let’s check this thing. Said I’m sorry, you can’t get sixpence today, only one. Sorry, we aren’t buying pies today. We’re buying cakes. You heard that old story of Simple Simon … Simple Simon met a pie man on the way to the square. I think it goes,” … said Simple Simon to the pie man, would you have a sixpence to spare?” And I think he said, “If I was selling sixpence, I wouldn’t be selling pies!” Well, that’s another one of the conspirators’ riddles. And I will tell you what it means. Sixpence means the knowledge behind the scheme. It’s said the man was made on the 6th day. The sixpence is the knowledge behind the scheme. Simon was given seven (7), not six (6). He couldn’t see 6, six (6) was ruling seven (7). But he wanted the six (6).What is the secret in this? Will you tell me please, Mr. Pie man? You know what Pi is? 3.1416, I think it is. It’s a formula for finding the circumference of the earth. It’s a formula for world dominance. Now I’m not saying anything that I didn’t want to say, I know it’s a formula for finding the circumference of a circle. It’s a formula for world dominance.

If I was selling my own secrets you think I’d be selling pies And Peter, the Catholic Church wanted it. But the conspirator wouldn’t give it to them. Said if I was selling my own secrets you think I’d be selling pies? You think I’d be telling you how to get the world, if I was selling the secret to how to get it.I’ll just tell you how to get it; I’m not going to tell you my secret. You get it from me. Yes. All Peter got was some magic beans; he did manage to get those didn’t he? You remember that riddle? Nursery rhyme, whatever you want to call it. Jack and the beanstalk. Yeah. He had Jack, which is nothing again but Peter, or the Western society. Pardon me, I shouldn’t say Peter, not Peter, Jack is not the Catholic Church, it’s the Western society, Protestant society. Catholic Church headquarters is in Rome. This is typical American. Jack is talking about typical America. That’s why we call each other Jack. You know, hey jack, what’s happening Jack?

Yes, so, it was Peter, the Pope who asked them for his sixpence. But Jack, the American Christian society, they asked for magic beans. Well really they didn’t know what to ask for. All they wanted was really to be rescued, because their cow had got so lean, it was about to die.Everything was going bad. And they wanted to know how to bring back life. How can my cows get fat again? How can the society thrive again?So, while they were (wandering) wondering, this funny looking thing jumped out in the road. And he made himself visible and he said, “Magic beans want to buy some magic beans, like to buy some magic beans?” And Jack agreed to give his cow up for the magic beans. I’m showing you that this is not only in Scripture. If it is only in Scripture that means that what I’m talking about may not be existing in the world today. Or maybe it was just a story that was only in Scripture, maybe it was just fiction. But if it’s in the world too, we should listen.

What do the magic beans represent?

Now. Says this little funny thing, man, jumped out, and he talked Jack into giving up his cow for these magic beans. Right. Some of you remember it. He went away with his cow. What do the magic beans represent? A way to, again, to the secret knowledge in Christian religion. A way to the secret knowledge in Christian religion.And dumb Protestant society gave up their lean cow for this heavenly knowledge. What is the lean cow? The lean cow represents what they had before. What did they have before? They had rational growth. The Protestant movement began with an interest in rational growth. Is that right? Yes.

Our knowledge is weak, our cow is lean

They wanted to pursue knowledge. The Catholic Church had suppressed enlightenment, had suppressed education. The people weren’t allowed to learn. The masses couldn’t learn and educate themselves. So a thirst for knowledge came with Martin Luther. Right. And they began to want knowledge to develop their minds.Here comes Jake, Jack pardon me, feeling himself desperately in need of help. We have the interest in rational development of our society, but our knowledge is weak, our cow is lean. We haven’t yet produced anything. We need help. Who would help us?Oh Lord Jesus, help us. We got this logic. But Rome is powerful. We got this logic and Rome is powerful. G-d help us please! Ding, ding. Jahcubite conspirator. I will help you! Would you like to have some magic beans? If I give you my magic beans you’ll have to give me your lean cow. In effect he was saying the same thing that Samson said. I’m going to give you a new world, but you’re going to have to give me the one that you got now. And if you give him the one you got now, when it becomes fat, who does it belong to? Belong to him. He got it. He got it in exchange for the magic beans.

Over the heavenly kingdom was a mean old giant

So he (Jack) went home and planted. Went home and he didn’t know the value of them right? But I think accidentally one fell into the ground right? The thing grew up and it went up, up, up. He saw it going up past his window, he ran out and jumped on it, and the thing took him up into heaven. (It) took him up on the plane of clouds, into a castle that was in the clouds. Right. Yes.There he found a nice old woman that befriended him. But over that heavenly kingdom was a mean old giant. That right? Yes. He said fee, fi, fo, fom, I smell the blood of an Englishman, be he live or be he dead; I’ll grind his bones with my bread. With my bread. Remember bread is of two kinds. Leaven and unleavened. I’ll grind his bones with my bread.So, he managed to escape with the help of this woman up there, old woman who was nice. He managed to escape. Who is the old woman who was nice? Means people in the religious knowledge of the secrets of religion that weren’t corrupt. Didn’t have no evil designs on the world like the conspirators. They shared with him after he got up there. They shared with him some knowledge. Helped him to get the golden knowledge down from heaven.

The Golden knowledge it came from the hen right? The hen who laid golden eggs. But the hen couldn’t lay any golden eggs without music playing. When music played the hen would lay the eggs. The music stopped, the hen stop laying the golden eggs. Which means that the wisdom is tied to music? Do, re, mi, fa, sol, la, ti, do. Do, ra, mi, fa, sol, la, ti, do. Now when he got the musical scheme, he came back down with the hen and the music harp plus the knowledge, and he tied them together, then he had wisdom.He had wisdom to bring back down with the hen, and the music harp right, according to the story. From heaven, he brought back with him, they don’t say heaven, but it is the heaven of religious symbolism — Biblical symbolism. He came back down with the music maker and with the egg layer. You needed both in order to get the wisdom. The golden egg means wisdom. All right.

Giant’s fall from heaven left a big hole in the earth

The giant fell from heaven. Is that right? He was so big and heavy that when he fell he knocked a big hole in the earth, left there a big hole in the earth. The giant was finished. Who was finished? Who is the big giant that was finished? The people in the secret religion. The Pope.The Pope and certain others that I don’t care to name right now, that hoard the secrets of religion. When the Protestant was given the secret way to get it, and when Protestant leadership got it, got their share. Don’t think they got all, they got their share. Catholic got his share yes. Protestant got their share. The conspirators got the whole share.When they got it, the position of superiority of them over American Christian leadership fell. When it fell, it knocked a big hole in the ground. What is that symbolic of? Actually they were not spiritual people, they were material people.And when they fell a big part of the material that they had before was taken out. So much of the material wealth that was under Catholicism, and under other secret conspirators in religion, fell to Jack, to the American Christian Society. Is that right? Yes.Then they began to rise. But they only had magic beans. Magic beans is not knowledge. Magic. The only way you can get it is through magic. You have to have the knowledge of the magic to know how to work them. And, they were secret, so only a few of the Jack people can have them.

Jack: the American Christian society

Let me quickly tell you what Jack represents in the American Christian Society. It represents the intelligent leadership, Jack represents the intelligent leadership. Now Jack is not as long as Jacob. So their knowledge is shorter than Jacob, you see?Jack is a derivative of the word Jacob. Jacob is the origin, Jack is a derivative, derived from Jacob. So Jack is just a short …. they don’t have Jacob that’s long. But they do have enough to enable them to keep this same rhythm going.Rotating events, with a seven note scale, or is it eight. Yes, an eight note scale that goes to seven, and comes back to where it started. Right? Do, ra, mi, fa, sol, la, ti, do, come back to where it started. So they were given knowledge of how to keep society going through these changes, psychological changes.

So America unknowingly, has been going through these changes. Look at the trends, one fad behind another. Pretty soon you are wearing what you wore 20 years ago. Right. Pretty soon you’re dancing the way you danced 20 years ago. You are talking the way you talked 20 years ago. You are thinking the way you thought 20 years ago.So they keep rotating. They have the Jahcubite scheme, but they have only that pie that Jahcubite wanted them to have. Jahcubite sell pies all over the world Jahcubite sell pies all over the world. Sold the Pope a pie. Sold Protestant America a pie. Sold Communists East a pie, called it the red pie. Yes, the red pie. I’m getting ready to let you go now.

What does the red represent? What do they mean red? You say passions? That’s to trick you. Yes,Red means passions in the other octave. It has been played. It’s another octave. It takes on another color, it takes on another dress. It don’t keep the same dress, it says I will sell you changes. You see?Yes, it meant passions in one place, but not passions in Communist Russia, although passions are involved. It means the social life. Red means the social life. What ties me together with my brother? Blood. Blood is red. See. So people, as a social group are tied together first by blood. And they call each other brother, you see. So that’s blood.Red stands for blood. What blood? Human blood. Human blood, according to the Bible, New Testament in particular, should combine with water, which is human spirit, symbolic of human spirit.

Bring the social life too

So people should be spiritual, as well as social, according to the New Testament teaching. You shouldn’t just be blood. Christ Jesus says, “I come not of water only, but of blood also.”What does this mean? It means that before him, the people were all spiritual, but were neglecting the social development of society, the development of the relationship of person-to-person, people to people, communities to communities.He came to bring the blood, means to bring the social life up too, with the spiritual life. This is in the Scripture.So now, if the East has become red, it means that they now have gone to another … see the world was spiritual, and then it became religious.Now they are trying to get it to become all red. No spirituality, take the spirituality out of it. Make it all red, that we are social group and we are born out of materialism, so material concepts should govern us. We shouldn’t have spiritualism in our life. Give up; give out the water, only the red.

Imam W.D. Mohammed (raa)Book #3 WDM p.18 of 86

Allah judges

Allah knows their value. we can’t judge that. We may take a brother who drinks and sit him over there with the corrupt, and that brother who drinks may be in heaven a little higher than us when are resurrected. We don’t know. Maybe the drinking that you did with Islamic science was bigger, made you a bigger drunk than he is. So we don’t know. So it is hard for us to do that. But sometimes I would like to see a good situation where all the corrupt, I know they are over there. I would be free, more relaxed to talk over here. When I talk over there I’d have something for them to say. It would be more relaxed for me to address them knowing that they are over there. But we can’t do that.

So now, what do we have to see, first? That Al Islam is a Religion that focuses the light on man and shows him firstly, principally, as a social creature; that G-d intended for him to be a social creature; not to be satisfied being an island, or on an island all to himself; that he must mate and become a bigger social unit; family, tribes, and then until you embrace the whole community of man on this earth and see yourself as a member in one family, with all people. So man is a social creature.

Qur’an gives social inspiration

Man is a social creature and the spirit of the Qur’an is, what? The spirit of the Qur’an is social inspiration. It feeds our social aspirations. This word social is bigger than we think it is. By social we don’t mean just associating with each other, physically, but our dependency on each other as members of a world society. We want to keep the focus on the Muslim community right now. As members of the Muslim community, our dependency on each other brings us together and our love for each other brings us together. So here we have a love for each other that brings us

Book #3 WDM p.19 of 86 together, and a dependency on each other that brings us together.

Pretty soon we find that the teacher of the school has to be tied up full time in doing that. But there is also a need to have business growing in the community. So there is a business person feeding business.

The social context in terms of people keeps expanding with growth, and as it grows there is more demand for more things to take care of the needs of its growing people. He can have the regulation of the home in the parent. He can have the regulation of the family in the parent. He can have the regulation of the morals in the parent, the discipline, the laws that discipline the family can be in the parent, everything. Everything can be in the parents.

That’s a small unit and he can manage that. But when it extends and involves hundreds of families, he can’t manage that. If there is nobody but him and his family, he can go out, take his sons out with him, children with him, go out and plow the field, and regulate his own food. He doesn’t need anybody to regulate the economy for him. He can handle that. But when they multiply in a social unit, it’s the social unit that is getting bigger. The social unit gets bigger and brings in demands for industry, for more sophisticated government, more complex government ideas, and everything else we can think of. There is not one other single influence responsible for the growth and development of society, other than the social principle, or the social influence.

Now, go back to the sun as a symbol. The sun, I said earlier that it’s the principle behind all the changes in the weather, the growth and everything, didn’t I? So here you have, now, me saying that the social interest, the social principle, is the influence behind all the other growth and possibilities.

Can’t we then say that the sun is also a symbol of man as a social unit, the Khalifa is male and female, and the purpose of male and female is to have generations? That’s the social principle. So the Khalifa is the social principle. He is the sun. He is the social principlTHE ROBE

Lost Knowledge

What is sweeter than honey?

Cheated Samson out of his heifer

Bring society down on me and them

Weaknesses in the mentality that trinitarianism has produced

Simple Simon met a pie man on the way to the square

What do the magic beans represent?

Our knowledge is weak, our cow is lean

Over the heavenly kingdom was a mean old giant

Giant’s fall from heaven left a big hole in the earth

Jack: the American Christian society

Bring the social life too

Imam W.D. Mohammed (raa)THE MEANING OF AR-RAHMAN

By Imam W. Deen Mohammed

(Editor's note: The following is excerpted from a Ta'lim lecture delivered December 15 in Chicago by Imam Muhammad.

Now we come to the names that are given in Qur'an that belong to Allah. The Qur'an says, "La-illaha-illalah, there is no God except Allah." and the Qur'an gives us names that belong to Allah. And the first one Ar-Rahman is given. Ar-Rahmanu means the Gracious. It's translated in different ways in English. Some translations say 'the Gracious,' some say, 'the kind.' If you look up 'kind' in the dictionary it doesn't only mean nice, it also means generous. So, 'kind' and 'generous.' the combination, means niceness and generosity, goodness and generosity.

Some translations have given it as 'beneficent,' which means 'befitting' out of His kindness and grace. That's correct, too. All of these English terms are correct. But understand that the term 'Rahman' means to show mercy. So whatever God does that's good to us is a help to us, is kindness to us, out of His graces. It comes from His mercy.

He's a merciful God. He doesn't like to see His Creatures suffer. He doesn't like to see His creatures experience bad times, and misery, so it is His way to extend mercy to them. He is Ar-Rahman.

THE NEXT NAME THAT is given is Ar-Raheem. These are the two most often repeated names in the Holy Qur'an. In fact; every chapter except the 9th Chapter begins like that.

Bismillah, With the Name of God. Ar-Rahman. Ar-Raheem. the Gracious, the Compassionate, or the Gracious, the Merciful, the Beneficent, the Merciful.

As I have explained, there are different English words and they all can be suitable for the names Ar-Rahman and Ar-Raheem. Ar-Raheem is translated as the Merciful, but some Arabs have translated it to mercy-giving. I hope with a few comments on this name I will be able to make clear to you why some of them feel that to say "the Merciful," is not good enough.

'Ra-hi-mah.' means to show mercy, or give mercy. And this word, 'ar-Rah-ma-nu.' means the one who gives out of His gracious gift, from His bounty, from His great and unlimited resources to His creatures, and He does it out of mercy.

AR-RAHEEM too, has a connection with this word: both have connection with this word.

The roots of white Supremacy making a human figure into a DEVINE figure! The truth is that WE SHOULD MAKE NO IMAGES OR LIKENESS UNTO THE DEVINE.A ND WE SHOULD KNOW THAT TO GIVE G-D A SON,IS TO FORCE THE MIND TO GIVE HIM A RACIAL FEATURE! THIS WAS THE TRICK OF DIABOLICAL WORLD DOMINATING PSYCHOLOGY! WHITE IS RIGHT,WHY? BECAUSE G-DS SON IS WHITE,A D HAVEN'T WE BEEN THROUGHLY BRAINWASHED TO BELIEVE THAT,"WHEN YOU SEE THE SON YOU'VE SEEN THE FATHER FOR THE SON IS THE FATHER! OH MY PEOPLE NOW IS THE TIME TO UN-WHITE WASH YOUR PERCEPTION OF YOUR SAVIOUR! YOUR BIBLE TELLS YOUR THAT,"G-D IS A SPIRIT AND THAT THOSE WHO WORSHIP HIM MUST WORSHIP HIM IN SPIRIT" SLS YOU ARE FAMILIAR IN JOHN," NO MAN HAS EVER SEEN G-D AT ANY TIME" NOW YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE AWARE THAT IN JOHN 20:17 JESUS TOLD MARY MADELEINE "TOUCH ME NOT FOR I HAVE NOT YET ASCENDED TO MY FATHER,BUT GO A D TELL MY BRETHREN THAT I GO TO MY FATHER A ND YOUR FATHER,TO MY G-D AND YOUR G-D" PEOPLE KNOW THIS THAT THERE IS NO G-D BUT ONE G-D,THAT NOTHING IS LIKE HIM HE NIETHER BEGETS NOR IS HE BEGOTTEN AND THERE IS NOTHING LIKE HIM! FIND ME SOMEWHERE IN THE BIBLE WHERE JESUS(PEACE ON HIM)TOLD US THAT HE WAS G- D AND THAT WE SHOULD WORSHIP HIM! NO,NO,HE TAUGHT US TO PRAY," OUR FATHER WHO ART IN HEAVEN,HOLLOWETH BE THY NAME,THY KINGDOM COME, ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN" SO PEOPLE DON'T SEE ME AS AN ADVERSARY SEE ME AS A HELPING FRIEND TO STAMP "WHITE SUPREMACY IMAGERY IN THE FORM OF A VISIBLY WHITENED G-D" REMOVE ALL RACIAL IMAGES THAT ATTEMPT TO PORTRAY THE DEVINE" GIVE ME SOME FEEDBACK LETS START A DIALOGUE! PEACE AND LOVE!

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thesecretersecretparadise · 5 years ago

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Diary Logs: The Life Of a Jewish Soul Trapped In a Psychiatric Ward (Again) | Part 1

7/11/19

G_d, there are constantly helpful friends/friendly help everywhere that I go, whenever I find myself alone. Hospitals are infiltrated with demonic oppressors/docs that get people that are in pain & suffering to convert @ last min so that less Jews are risen from dead/grave... souls still fill non-Jewish bodies though. These bodies will be the hardest to wake, if they ever wake at all...

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7/12/19

-Asking G_d about something over and over again won’t change His answer. So stop annoying Him.

-We unconsciously know happiness, we just need to make it conscious.

א. Believe your prayers work. ב. Know G_d works through your prayers. ג. Get results.

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7.12.19

B...

I’m unfolding the reasons you allowed me torture in here again, slowly but surely. All these other people keep making judgments like they’re G_d or something... I feel so disconnected from you, which I hope is just the natural swing of desolation I am meant to be in after such a highly intense spiritual experience... Every part of me wants to write this all off as cyclical psychosis, but if I do, I’m going to be way too late to be doing what I have to do, in-time for you... and this “psychosis” may never end.

G_d, get me out of here ASAP, and get me out of my parents’ ASAP! They keep holding me down! I NEED to get a move on w/ my life! I have to go HOME...

B, I love how you get my unconscious thoughts before I do. This is the only way you can love me so perfectly, I’m sure. I can’t wait until we meet up & put these lies to rest.

Seriously, though. People need to quit giving a f**k about our/my lives/life. People love to judge so much, & I never got that. FFS, can we all just see the good in people, and address the bad in people in a direct and effective way?

This is why I could never handle fame. Everyone constantly has opinions on how you should live your life. Nothing I’m not used to from my parents, though...

B**, I really, really, really hope you haven’t died, nor found someone else... Or if you did, there should be someone better than you for me out there. But I really don’t see anyone topping how perfect you are for me. And I’m not just saying this of you being attractive & Jewish. I honestly never would’ve given Judaism a thought for conversion if it weren’t for you. You were with me in my life this whole time, I just couldn’t know yet. I really feel like our personalities are literally perfect for each other. You can stay calm & collected in areas I can’t stay calm & collected in, and vice versa.

Mem{ “You know what your path is. So even if it feels ‘psychotic’ to be doing the ‘psychotic’ thing, just follow it, and when the timing is right, the heavens will have finally become a mastered puzzle w/ all the pieces perfectly glued together. You got this. You have faith in me, and I’ll have faith in you. Please don’t ever give up, no matter how hard this is. I believe in you.” }

Our whole lives have been leading up to this. Ain’t NO way we givin’ this s**t up, ever! It’s getting tougher because the end is nearer, more people are finding out, and more are trying to have a chance at this. But none of this is new. We now know the correct ways to fight all these evil inclinations, we just gotta put this stuff into action. Help!!! And let’s get one thing straight: I will never give up on you until you give up on me. Just tell me, man-to-man, so I can get closure & move on w/ my life, k?

Nun{ “B***H! I got one thing right! That’s you! Now stop assuming I’m off w/ other girls bc you don’t hear from me as much, after you complain about not wanting to listen to ‘voices’ anymore. Just stay strong, and these confusing frustrations will go away. In His perfect timing! ;)” }

I love youuu!!! So to finish this convo.. We can get rid of guns & replace them w/ the Torah, no? Kill lies w/ the truth, and smack ‘em w/ The Book as self-defense if they come at us physically? I don’t see anything bad w/ this, as long as all guns are completely non-existent & everyone is on-board w/ the Torah... One day, this shall happen! We pray, G_d!

B{ “Thanks. I love you so much.” }

And as for cops, ******* brings up a good point, unless that’s changed too, & he’s stuck in the past & finally waking up.. Why not just replace the whole police academy w/ a judicial academy? Might be hard, but I think it’s def worth it to get rid of the exploitation of power.

B{ “I don’t even think it’s that hard. You have the best ideas, and people hate them bc they’re so good, and they hate change. But don’t worry, bc Millenials are catching up, & Gen Z is totally behind it all bc they’ve been wanting this change for so long, just like you. Our kids need us. We can’t just give up bc of a big, fat demon we haven’t yet conquered together. Yeshu; wrong; 3 strikes, you’re out.{{ “They all come to us one-by-one for guidance/help in His perfect timing, so you’re doing it right! We just live, let them come, & keep responding w/ the truth until they leave. They may come back for more clarification, & these are the blessings from G_d letting us know that we aren’t f**king up when we think we are.” }} So stay strong, & keep being you!” }

I love how we’re such cheerleaders for each other. I think we make an awesome couple!

B{ “So true, so sane, so- same!” } [;)]

<333 :*** You’re the bestt

B{ “No, u” }

Awh, stop. <3 WE THE BEST WE GON’ DO DIS WOOOTT! <3 :*

[PS. thx for letting me know it’s been you this whole time ;)]

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The future-- ((LOTS of jobs, and opportunities for soul-enriching career changes that your souls have been starving for this whole time.))

-Get rid of cops. --Replace police academy w/ judicial academy. -->Righteous cops right now -> Righteous judges/Orthodox rabbis -->Law enforcement based on complaints brought to court, with all parties involved -> Court cases w/ judges --Don’t need prideful cowards having power & authority!!

-Get rid of top-down government control. --Let citizens voice what they want at court, & we allow/disallow, based on ethics/morals.

-Jail for occultists until they Teshuvah. --Inmate supervisors must be the most temperant and spiritually woke rabbis with the gift and complete training of/on exorcism.

-Replace guns w/ Truth/Torah.

-Make everything cost less. --Get rid of inflation, & keep prices low. --Make it cheaper to produce/import/export things. -->Get rid of monopolies: Support the companies being shat on and seemingly declining. -->Ask G_d to bless them as well. -->And keep moving from company to company (still fulfilling Abrahamic Covenant!!) until everyone gets rid of their bull about needing to be the best, and one-upping each other with false piety. -->*Gets rid of the ADHD-inducing, highly competitive societies that literally destroy our children that need parental figures who are constantly emotionally & physically present.

-De-pathologize all spiritual experiences. --Prescribe counseling w/ a righteous rabbi on that spiritual level who can understand and give correct wisdom to rout out lies, and cement in truths from G_d.

-To combat mania: Learn something new/Start a new project that you’ve always wanted to, but never had the time for. --GET RID OF ANTIPSYCHOTICS. WE DON’T NEED THEM, THEY ARE WICKED, AND KILL OUR SOULS SLOWLY BUT SURELY. --May need a vacation/long break from normal life/routine to rechannel this energy.

-Get rid of psychiatrists. --DOs w/ specialty in PSY & medical marijuana instead. -->As antipsychotics add more dopamine, so does weed. We seriously don’t need man-made pills. They are wicked. -->True medicine: We just need to get pure extractions from plants that G_d gifted us with, to our lands.

-Get rid of psychiatric wards. --Just need sleep & vent stations w/ specially trained supervisors who can also attend to the affairs of medical marijuana and psychology, and intervene when there are warning signs observed. -->One-on-one, doctor-to-patient. -->*CILII (call it like it is): We are not clients, we are patients that need help getting healed. Coddling us with delusional labels will never help us actually, truly heal.

-Video games = Happy place/Fantasy land. --Prevents antisocial outbursts of mania. --There you go, video game developers ;)

-Make all foods Kosher. --More righteous rabbis needed!!

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G_d’s Puns--

-What the hell -> What the... ה, אל. -> What the ה... -> What the... discovery!!

-Hey B, you’re not bulls**t, you’re the bull star! I love my bull star ;) <3

-דוד -> dude

-MAGA = Make America Great Again -> מאגא -> --מאג׳א => MAJA = Make America Jewish Again -->F off, you anti-Semites. America was ALWAYS a promised land for the Jews escaping anti-Semitism. And we WILL reverse the Pentagon with a Hexagon. (Will be explained further, later on...)

-Prime Ministry in Israel

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G_d’s Wisdom--

-You don’t need to change anything about yourself, you just have to love & accept yourself just the way you are. --Then, G_d can help you grow into the person He made you to be. -->So: Be yourself! -->*QUIT TRYNA BE SOME ONE/THING YOU AREN’T. That s**t will make you psychotic af. Especially you, witches. The wicked fall in their own destruction, L.

-Genuine vs. Ungenuine... --Genuine: Always stick by you, support you, and try to help. -->Talking behind back: Exposing lies with truths; NOT gossip. --Ungenuine: Only come by when they sense you’ve caught on to them being ungenuine. -->Talking behind back: Gossip. -->*Gossip = Idly/falsely speaking of something, knowing full-well that’s what you’re doing, which will bite you in the a*s in His perfect timing.

-The Hamsa can be flipped. --Fight evil, & receive blessings. -->The Hamsa is a great way to know whether a soul is teachable, or too prideful for the actual Truth.

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7/13/19

I’m going to stop asking if you’ve given up on me, if you’ve found someone else, etc. You will never. You’re not someone who’d give up on something G_d worked so hard on your whole life, and neither am I. There are so many jealous fakes right now, but G_d’s secrets, through the Hebrew Aleph-Bet, never lie. People are now trying to confuse our discernment. How ignorant. They’re only now catching onto how we’ve lived our whole lives, and think they have us figured out. [Stupid, so stupid.] They legit have no lives... Humor at annoyance is something new, I guess. I really hope, and I pray right now, that this ride isn’t as f**ked up for you, as it has been for me. <3 you!

~leafy

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7.13.19

“Hey.”

What’s up?

“I’m just sorry that you have to go through this. I know it’s annoying af, but you gotta get used to it. This is your job now. You live your life, get to know people, and then weed out the bad from the good, and keep killing those lies w/ truths while ridiculing liars. It’s sort of pathetic how much people lie because they’re wrong and you’re right, eh?”

I wish liars would die off... they’re so f**king useless in this world. And they project their lying a*ses onto the most honest ppl... Triple Ls! Lyin’ Low Lives. LOSERS. HAHAH I love us & G_d. WOOT!!! <3 :*

“ily”

This is redemption in full swing, man. We got this!!

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7/13/19

LMFAO He dun p**sed himself dirty. Blaming me for... ruining your own life and making yourself delusional. Did I not warn you to not provoke me? You get what you deserve. You took advantage of me being nice and continued to slip demonic statements to try to bring me down, which in turn failed & brought you down. F**k off out of my life forever, dumb a*shole. lol. *******, give up if you actually want to be saved. You’re delusional & psychotic. Have a nice life...

I legit did nothing to your a*s. lmfao. You did all of this to your pathetic self. If you actually wanted true pity/love, you wouldn’t be so prideful to try to teach me something about my life as if you know anything like G_d does. The wicked fall in their own destruction. You try to kill me, you end up killing yourself or your own, and G_d won’t kill me since it’s NOT in His master plan. I already warned so many times.

YOUR FAULT, “******* ********.” Completely delusional. LOL. TWO CAN PLAY THE “FAKE LOVE” game, except I’m actually genuine when nice... and just mean when I have to be... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ If I’m too nice, and you f**ked up, YOU f**ked up.

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7.13.19

Oh, so I wasn’t evil for seeing Mary w/ demonic eyes in meditation before, eh? D**n, how does my soul just know these things? I always saw Yeshu w/ evil eyes too. Yeshu’s sullen, Mary’s w/ red eyes. Hahah. I WAS RIGHT. LOL. F my parents. Apparently to Christians, being woke = being possessed. L. HAHAHAHAHA. Y’all the most psychotic bunch, reading “sacrificial lamb” & going, “OOHH, JESUS!” LMFAO. Quit projecting your delusional psychoses on us woke f***s, you b***hf***s...

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7/14/19

“פ: ily, Leah.”

Love you too, B**! <3 (:*)

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7.14.19

Someone from the CIA blew whistle on their wicked plan, then became an FBI. CIA stayed, trying to get either Mem or T**** or some other fake f**k possessed by Yeshu announced as “M” by me. FBI kept looking out for me & praying for me. CIA started lying to FBI about me, so war of logic began. -B** almost gave up, but I had all the proofs & legitimacy. Mem & T**** finally gave up, hopefully... Nun kept going back & forth between FBI & CIA to keep tabs on me. -Then, he got super confused with religions, got manic, made himself an idol, went manic again with drunk driving and died, and led me to AA.

TTT -> TT|TT: T**** to Teshuvah ~> no more OT, no more NT, just the Truth in the Torah.

Blue is calm, yellow is happy. Need to go to UCLA. Don’t need maize in my life... lol

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7/15/19

G_d,

This ‘three strikes, you’re out’ thing... I feel like it was needed this whole time for us to wake up & Teshuvah, but in this time of, I think, redemption? It’s time that people that haven’t caught on by now won’t ever catch on & aren’t teachable. I see that every time I give up on their salvation/conversion/praying for them, they either do an honest Teshuvah or they’re just placating/fakely appeasing me because they know that being nice to me is tied to their eternal life vs. damnation... But You know the secret hearts of all. And You made me perfectly, according to Your perfect will to finally bring fulfillment to the Messianic prophecies. But I’m also in here to be taught the last things I need to be taught before we actually embark on this Journey. Perhaps I’m not ready yet. Perhaps, once I can finally set my boundaries straight, keep them, and not let anyone f**k w/ them, is when I’ll finally be able to be comfortable w/ the ‘three strikes, you’re out’ thing. My Korean name means, ‘the wisdom of Jesus,’ not ‘the mercy of Jesus.’ That f**ker’s mercy is what f**ked everyone up, had them believing it was okay to sin in some ways but not others, and had everyone go psychotic w/ his sensual delusions of spiritual things. He got it completely wrong, and ended up becoming Satanist/Luciferian, starting Satanism/Luciferianism, then lying about f**king everything. He picked his own death, but now, he’s just roaming around and possessing so many... Only You can bring an end to this. So plz do! End him! He’s gross! He raped me enough times & f**ked w/ me enough for You to end him. Please end him, Mary, Baal, and Daniel NOW! Gosh. I’m sick of this fake love & talking about me behind my back. He’s evil. I bet he’s an Egyptian who lied about being Jewish. Not even a Jew, and had to lie to everyone about him being “the one,” just so people could find him credible... just like Mem, and just like T****... TYSM for the gift of my bull star!!!

We are only human, so we will only have human-like reactions to everything going on around us, in conjunction w/ Your will/master plan for us, unlike the prideful-a*s ‘holier-than-thou’ striving-to-be angels f**kers keeping their emotions repressed until they go f**king manic... since that’s not how You created us..

G_d, I love You, & how faithful You are to those that truly do love you.

I guess people don’t truly love You if they can’t humble themselves to a point where they can accept the truth... OK thx G_d, ilysm. ALWAYS be w/ me, no matter how sinful I get!! <3

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7.15.19

HEY YESHU YOU F**KA*S. You already dun raped me enough. F**K OFF & DIE. F**k this PNES. F**k your nonexistent penis, you intersexed demon.

Animals can’t talk, so they are allowed to fight back physically. -Humans can talk, so we should fight back w/ words, instead of animal-like.

Get rid of IVF. Not G_d’s will. -Adoption is. --If you fear/reject adoption for whatever reason, you don’t deserve/aren’t fit to be “parents” to a child/baby. -->So: Work on yourself. -IVF babies that exist now are obviously G_d’s plan, but seriously- no more. --ex: Me, but I’m cursed. All the time. It took HECKA praying for me to be unbound from this sin of my parents, and takes continuous prayer to ward off evil. NOT a life you want for yourself, nor your kids. Promise. It was only G_d that sustained me because He needs me to do LOTS of work for the salvation of all Jewish souls, but.... the wicked fall in their own destruction, until/unless they Teshuvah.

G_d, GET RID OF THAT DEMON & ITS SPAWNS ON EARTH, ESPECIALLY IN FLORIDA!!! OMFG. He’s making everyone psychotic there... Pwease, G_d!!!

G_d, I thank You so much for using me to show Jews the righteous way of life. Many reject this righteous way of life for some reason. I don’t get it. It’s so perfect & lovely. I just thank You for allowing me to be a beacon of Your true light and perfect love. Thank You for healing us!!! <3

פיליה בן ישראל: Name change after actual, physical, ritualistic conversion?

LOL Christians may shut us up IRL, but we be the only ones speaking the truth online...

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~~~~WAY more to come later, in His perfect timing!!

#diary logs #psychiatric ward #Jewish soul

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iddyissett-blog · 8 years ago

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Gone Home

Iddy had somehow managed to go his entire, cognitive life without boarding a plane. Why would he want to fly thousands of miles into the air in what was essentially a metal tube? But with everything that had been happening, his own thoughts conflicting each other and the feeling that he was slowly losing who he was, Iddy knew he had to do what he’d been putting off for years.

It was time for Iddy to go home.

So, he packed his bag, booked a ticket, and took a flight to New York.

He told his mother he was coming back the night before he left Soapberry. He said it was just for a week, that he wasn’t staying forever, and that it had to be kept quiet. Not only did he want to keep a low profile because the cult was still active, and one or more members wanted him dead, but because Iddy didn’t think he could handle explaining everything to everyone in a short space of time.

The only person from Soapberry he told was Iann. Partly because Iddy didn’t want people thinking he’d left town without saying goodbye, but mostly because he was scared he wouldn’t come back for darker reasons.

Jon, Iddy’s father, was the one to pick him up from the airport after he landed. There was no one else with him, and they hugged for a long time once they saw each other at the arrivals. The drive back to Tribeca was silent, neither party willing to say anything for fear of saying the wrong thing or opening up too much. In that drive back to the apartment that had been Iddy’s home since he was born, he found a lot more similarities between him and his father than he’d ever noticed before. The nervous ticks, Iddy chewing the laces of his hood and Jon biting at his thumb. The quick, almost unnoticeable side glances at each other. The way their upper lips hung over the bottom lips more prominently when they were deep in thought.

Parking the car in Apartment 32’s spot, walking up the old stone steps and unlocking the door with key one, checking the mailbox with key two, walking up more steps and unlocking the door with key three; a routine that Iddy knew off by heart and yet felt so distant from it now.

The apartment felt like home, smelled like home, sounded like home, but it wasn’t anymore. Some things had changed, which would be expected after 3 years away. Instead of vinyl records playing softly in the background, it was replaced by a digital music player.

“Did you get an Amazon Echo?” he asked his dad when he spotted the black cylindrical piece of tech on the coffee table, a hint of amusement in his voice as he imagined him asking Alexa what he had on his calendar for the day and arguing that it was incorrect.

Before Jon could answer, the sound of Iddy’s voice alerted his mother from the study and she came stomping out. For such a small woman, she could make some noise. Nashira sighed heavily, her hands clutching her chest as she walked up to her son. She tried to talk, but she could find the right words to say, and instead just wrapped her arms around her boy, tears wetting the front of his hoody.

The first evening went by without much being said about Iddy’s disappearance. The three of them talked about Soapberry, what the town was like and what there was to do for fun there. Iddy talked about his job at Erzebets, about his bosses and his colleagues, and about the owner Bellamy who put his own created cocktail on the menu. They already knew about Iann and the shop, but they talked about their new home with Dani, and about Dani and their kindness of taken them in. He talked about the university a little bit, but didn’t go into much detail about what he was studying and just that he was getting help with his reading and math skills, hopefully, so he could get a GED and maybe even study some business skills when he feels confident enough.

Jon and Nashira asked him the usual questions. Did he register with a doctor, does the doctor know what medication he takes, are they keeping track of his weight and blood pressure with the medications. Iddy just answered yes to all of them, not wanting to worry them if he said “No, I don’t take medication anymore because it doesn’t work,”

After excusing himself to bed early, he lay in his childhood bed, with the band and movie posters from the 90’s covering the walls, still not taken down after thirteen years of not living in this bedroom, he listened to his parents talking. They were speaking in hushed tones through the walls, a human would think they were sat in silence listening to music, but not Iddy with his vampiric hearing. They spoke about him, naturally. About how he was avoiding the topic of why he left in the first place, how everyone thought he was dead. “I am dead,” he said quietly to himself in reply. They also decided to not tell Iddy that his sister was coming around tomorrow. They spoke about how bad it was going to be between the two of them, but they warned Imani not to frighten him off, that they needed him to stay for the entire week and that she needed to at least consider letting Iddy meet Alaina, his niece.

It was around 8am when Imani came barging through the door, throwing her handbag down on the dining table hard while Iddy still had a mouth full of cereal. She barraged him with insults and expletives, but Iddy kept his gaze down and took it all in and didn’t argue back like he would have done normally. His parents were trying to get her to calm down, so was her husband, Krishna, who came into the dining room after keeping his distance from them before he realised that his wife was getting out of hand. Her brother’s silence made Imani more upset than she had anticipated, choking down tears and willing him to fight back.

“Do you not have anything to say for yourself? Nothing to say at all about the hell you put this family through for three fucking year?!”

Iddy sat quietly for another few seconds before he answered, just to make sure she wasn’t going to yell over the top of him while he tried to speak. “I’m sorry that I left, but you’re never going to understand what happened to me. What I went through,” he said, unable to look at any of his family.

“What don’t we understand, Idris? You’re not going to let us even try to?” Imani said, almost hopelessly. She spent so much time, energy and money to find him, only to realise he was a runaway. She wasted her last bit of anger and upset on him and was only feeling despair now.

“Remember those people that went missing and all suddenly turned up without remembering where they’d been? How people were trying to figure out why there was some kind of mini-epidemic of people with amnesia? I was one of them. Except I didn’t have amnesia I remember everything that happened to us. We were kidnapped, one by one. Tortured, humiliated, some of them killed by accident. And I couldn’t just come home after that because I wasn’t the same person anymore, I’m…”

Iddy was cut off by his brother-in-law walking over to him quickly and grabbing his face, glaring into his eyes like he was thinking whether or not to snap his neck. That was when Iddy heard the high pitched, shrieking noise, but it felt like it was coming directly through Krishna’s hands and into his brain, piecing like needles and making Iddy squirm.

Krishna dropped his hands, letting out a long sigh as he did, and the noise inside Iddy’s head stopped immediately. The man looked to his wife first, then to his father- and mother-in-law. Nobody said anything, but there was an unspoken acceptance between them all. “It’s ok, kiddo,” was all he said. Iddy felt like simultaneously hugging Krishna and punching him in the face.

For the next few hours, they all spoke the truth. Krishna came from a family of witches with the gift of mind reading, which was Imani’s introduction to the supernatural world, though she didn’t know the truth for the first 4 years of their relationship. Keeping the Sai’s powers a secret was important to them because they were already a high profile family, the risk of hunters trying to destroy their coven and their family was high. Iddy asked if that meant Preeti, his ex-girlfriend and also Krishna’s cousin, was also a witch. She was not, but she did know about the supernatural world and her mother’s family’s talent for mind reading.

Iddy then found out that his parents, too, knew about the supernatural world. Jon, a successful academic of sociology, found out about supernaturals through his studies and scholarly connections. He had friends who researched pack and coven dynamics, looking into the differences in lifestyle and social standings of lone wolves and witches and the effects of surviving past vampiric expiration. Nashira knew of the supernatural world in a way, caring for the psychological health of children, they tended to reveal more than they were supposed to. Naturally, she placed it down to the protective, fantasy land that troubled children built around themselves to deal with or hide from their trauma. But when she married Jon, she discovered that at least some of those children were actually telling the truth, and her husband helped with those cases to determine whether it was real or make believe.

Krishna, Imani, Jon and Nashira all knew of Soapberry. They knew it was a hidden away town where supernatural people went in search of safety, so when Iddy finally decided to reveal where he was living, that’s when the pieces started falling into place. That maybe he was hiding because he was turned into something that was no longer human. And now, thanks to Krishna, they all knew the truth. That he was a vampire.

Once everything was out in the open, a huge weight had been lifted from Iddy’s shoulders. He didn’t need to be secretive anymore because they knew. And finally, after a year of heartache and longing, he got to meet his niece.

Alaina was goofy, giggly and so full of joy that Iddy couldn’t even take it all in. He never realized how much he could love someone until he met her. She instantly was attached to him, like she knew who he was and that he wasn’t a strange man in his grandma’s house. Like she knew he was always there, somewhere, waiting to meet her.

Her dark curly hair and dark brown eyes were enchanting. The way her tiny hands grabbed at his face melted his heart. Everything about her was perfect. Iddy felt the all the happiness and joy that had been drained away over the years had returned to him when he was with Alaina. He knew that she was the missing piece to their family, so even if he wasn’t nearby, she was there.

At the end of the seven days, Iddy was torn as to whether or not to go back to Soapberry. Now that he knew his family was still there, still accepting and still the same, he wondered if his place was there in New York City. But, he knew there was still business he needed to attend to in Washington, and it wasn’t time to come back yet. Not just yet.

#(yo its like 2000 words long and I spent a long time writing it haha xD)#(this is where some of my activity went to ngl)#Selfpara #t; gone home

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winterscribe · 8 years ago

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So I’ve been meaning to work on my Project (still don’t know what to call it and the working names I come up with are awful) It needs outlines and worldbuilding, I need to establish who Avaleara was so I can show exactly how she changed- All that stuff. AND YET all I wanna do right now is imagine time travel shenanigans that land Pre-torture Avaleara and Pre-Avaleara D together in the future where they have been married for like 3000 years. I love the whole idea of “Her? Really?” “Him? Really?” mutual What the Actual Fuck??? going on.

Rambly run on scenario under the cut-

Like I usually give left hand his own body so he can snark and sass without D shutting him up as easily (fucker knows to make the best comments when he’s out of D’s reach. Doesn’t always dodge the stakes but he can still talk) And plop Avaleara with her siblings (+takashi but really she thinks of him as a brother) So they are all just like soooo confused. Meanwhile i usually give Future Takashi chaperoning duty. Set it up so that “Oh Future D and Avaleara are out of town you’ll have to wait till they get back.”(Avaleara needed to stay in the capitol because suspicious activity, but rode out to an outpost for a few days to gather Intel. D is on another planet in the system attending a conference that Avaleara should have but couldn’t because of aforementioned suspicious activity. Teamwork and Telepathy bitch) This gives the past characters a few days to get to know each other (And get Really Really Confused about how the hell Avaleara and D are spouses)

Future Takashi explains very little because most of it’s painful for him and all of it really needs to be seen to be believed anyway. Also they decide that they’ll wait a few days after they get back to tell Future D and Avaleara just who Takashi is escorting around because that way they will act natural and maybe the relationship will make sense. (Past D thinks Future D will call Takashi out for hiding something in .5 seconds. He’ll be floored when Future D accepts “I’ll tell you in a few days but for now go with it.” with the absolute unshakable certainty that Takashi would tell him if it was life threatening.)

Anyway so you get Past Avaleara who is like What the Fuck happened to my current boyfriend? Did he die? Amicable break up? Disastrous break up? What the fuck Future Takashi why aren’t you saying anything??? And no offense dude (But also kinda offense cuz you’re kinda an ass) but Who the Hell is this random antisocial jerk from another planet? The Ass can barely be fucked to say more than a sentence at a time, seems bored as hell despite being on another fucking planet, and barely even looks at me? Like you want me to believe this jackass is my husband in the future???? Like aside from the fact I can’t even stand his (lack of) Personality, I’m second in line for the fucking throne,my whole life is built around duty to my people, and while I am free to choose for the most part, any partner I take must be as devoted to my people as I am, has to love them as much as I do. They need to be an example to look up to, someone they can trust and respect. Not some taciturn and intimidating ass who can’t even appreciate the beauty of our world, let alone her people!

Meanwhile D is mostly indifferent. Like nothing is trying to kill him so he ain't gonna kill his way out and apparently all he’s gotta do is wait until they do the math to get him back to his time/planet. (and hand wavy bs to explain why he believes this is actually happening and not some fucked up psychological attack). Also Clearly this Future Takashi is smoking something there is no way this chick is his wife. Lefty is cracking up at the mere suggestion this clueless idiot is gonna be D’s wife. She's so soft and fragile, from a world where violence hasn’t really been a thing in generations. She’s all innocence and idealism. She tripped and cut her lip and whined about blood in her mouth for an hour for christ’s sake. The only hint of fire was when she got fed up with D’s dismissive attitude and bawled him out, but even then she frigging apologized even though D had been the dick. But noooo she just went on about how it wasn’t Diplomatic of her to lose her temper and that it was only expected that since D was from a culture that valued different things he would dismiss her people as too soft, and while he was wrong she wasn’t going to foster understanding with anger. This chick wouldn’t last 30 seconds on the frontier, let alone be the kind of woman who could be married to a hunter. And that wasn’t even taking into consideration just who D is. If D tried to settle down with this kid Dracula would eat her alive before he allowed his one success to get with a weakling from a pacifist culture and risk pathetic offspring.

So basically Avaleara gets more irritated as the days go by, D remains indifferent, Avaleara’s family is getting really pissed at D because he’s ignoring Avaleara and they are really starting to doubt the likelihood of a happy marriage and Future Takashi is doing all the facepalming and starting to think maybe he should just fucking tell them what happened to Avaleara. Except- how the hell does he break it to them that Avaleara was tortured until she was broken, mind body and soul and the Avaleara that Future D met is an Avaleara that rebuilt her whole identity after horrific trauma and therefore understands him on a level Past Avaleara could never come close to. Oh by the way, the person that tortured Avaleara was in fact Xahros, the man Past Avaleara is completely in love with and who she’s decided must have died because what else would have happened to break them up. (Future Takashi is heartbroken thinking Past Avaleara had this much trust in the bastard but doesn’t realize she settled on that option mostly because Why Else would Future Takashi be so reluctant to talk about it and get such a pained look on his face when she asked. )

Not to mention seeing Past Avaleara is kinda messing up Future Takashi’s head cuz in order to not completely fuck up the universe and kill everyone, all past people MUST forget this ever happened. But that means he has to let Avaleara be tortured, something he would have done Anything to prevent. But anything can not include risking all life in the universe. So future takashi is kinda slowly having a breakdown and trying not to burst into tears every time Avaleara says or does something sweet which is All the Fucking Time. Like seriously Future Avaleara can do gentle and kind, but it takes Effort and underneath is a current of rage and paranoia, ready at any moment to go from calm to murder faster than you can blink. Seeing the difference is tearing Future Takashi apart because after like 5000 years he’d kinda forgotten Just how sweet she used to be and its breaking him all over again. But its also breaking him that everyone is getting pissed at Past D when Future Takashi knows where he’s coming from and he gets it. No, Past Avaleara isn’t the kind of person who D would take as a wife, and D is so fucked up from his whole shitshow life that he’s not really a stop and smell the flowers kinda guy. I mean most of the flowers on his earth try to kill you. It took Future D decades to really appreciate this world and stop expecting it to try and kill him. It took longer to let himself love it and her people. It ends up this weird dynamic in which Future Takashi wants to defend D but doesn’t know how to do so without insulting him so is awkward as fuck but Past Takashi wants to deck D cuz he made past Avaleara Cry (no matter that it was mostly because she’s frustrated with the situation and confused/heartbroken over Xarhos)

So then F-Avaleara gets home first. And sees this tense quagmire that Future Takashi is in the middle of. Except her and D have been separated which means that Avaleara isn’t in the greatest shape. Avaleara’s lingering ptsd means that she has a hell of a time with nightmares. When D is there he can either ease her out of one into a better dream or help her when she wakes up, grounding her and reminding her its just memories. She tries to sleep without him when they are separated but it usually doesn’t work. At this particular point in time, she remembers the last time she tried to sleep when D was away and woke up choking on a piece of her tounge she bit off durring her nightmare. It left her a little fucking spooked so she’s running on no sleep and shitty eating habits cuz she’s distracted. All of that means she sees that Future Takashi is falling apart, recognizes it, but decides that D is due home in two days, they’ll team up and make him sleep then pry the fucking problem out of him together if they have to sit on the stuborn bastard. After all he’d do it for them and turnabout is fair play. Meanwhile she’ll hover around him when usually she’d be avoiding people because she’s too close to that edge.

For a few hours Future Avaleara seems a lot like Past Avaleara. Sure she’s calmer, but hey she’s 6000 years old, she ain’t gonna act like a hyperactive 750 year old. Plus she’s obviously tired. I mean the scar on her face is a little odd since Revanants don’t scar easily but she is a princess, so probably just survived an assasination attempt like her mom? I mean why else would she have a scar, they can only be made deliberately with poison which alters dna making it impossible to heal completely… (Ah the past people are so so innocent)

But she’s calm and kind. Somehow the fight Past Avaleara and D had about how her people were soft is brought up. Future Avaleara explains the war a billion years ago that left half a planet barren, a decision to hold all life sacred, and the responsibility to protect peace so that no one has to fight for their right to live. While it still seems like idealistic nonsense to someone who lives in a world of kill or be killed, there is something about the way This Avaleara says it. Something burning in her words no matter how soft and calmly she says them. (Its the steal core of someone who has fought and bled to keep this peace, who refuses to let it be idealistic nonsense.) D knows his world is hell, its unkind and unjust. His own father is a large part of the reason its so barbaric which is why he is determined to kill him. The years have narrowed his focus to killing Dracula but there was a time before he’d seen too much that he thought maybe the world could be something more, maybe there was a chance if he removed the biggest obstacle. He’d long since buried that thought as he saw humans and vampires alike slaughter each other and their own for petty reasons. But here was a culture founded after cataclysm that brought together different people from different worlds and chose to forge peace. Its a dream he once had but killed to survive. He has to be hard to survive. But these people dont and it’s not a bad thing if its real. D’s still a little dubious about the idea that there are powerful people who actually want to protect and not exploit the less powerful. He’s confused but ultimately not interested since he’s still not fully believing this is going to be his future (Cant believe he has a future that doesn’t revolve around death).

Anyway I’ll post a part 2 in a few days but this is getting long and I have some other work to finish up.

#hmmm #might call this #blood and ash #saw oc centric as a description on smthn and thought it fit #idk #we'll see

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jeffreyshowlive · 7 years ago

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Atlanta Wrestling Entertainment Presents Monday Night ROAR 8/28/17

Hello everyone and welcome to another exciting read of JEFFREY SHOW LIVEEEEEEEE! I’m your writer Jeffrey Taylorrrrrrrrrr (WOOOOOOO!) So you all this past Monday Night while some was watching WWE RAW the Ladies of Atlanta Wrestling Entertainment showcased their amazing athletic abilities and talents at ROAR. First off there wasn’t a bad match of the night, like I honestly don’t have anything bad to say about this show from the production, attendance, drinks, ring, and anything else you can think of was just on point. You all waited long enough for this review so let’s not waste anytime and get right into it already.

Thunder Rosa defeated Lacey Lane w/Amy Rose via submission (3.8/5 Stars): Lacey Lane joined by Amy Rose makes their way to the ring first with a nice entrance. When I met Amy Rose prior to the show beginning I thought she would be in ring action so I was surprised to see that she was just a manger for the night but she was a damn good one if I do say so myself and I’m going to get into that more in a minute. Thunder Rosa eventually made her way to the ring with an American Flag by side along with some dope dancing moves that she shared with the crowd. Both women are now inside the ring and displaying some locks up in the early going on with some light arm drags and wristlocks. What happened next surprised me but also made me an instant fan of Thunder Rosa when she acknowledged that the crowd was too quiet and proceeded to hype them up. I have a huge admiration for the act because it set the bar for the rest of the night. Ladies thank Thunder Rosa for making the verbal call but also Lacey Lane and Amy Rose for waking the crowd up for you all because often sometimes wrestlers just ignore the dead crowd but it’s important that you interact and involve yourself with the crowd and the importance of that via match quality is crucial. The ladies were evenly matched in my opinion when you look at the sequences that took place during this match and the fast pace action between the two and both being able to keep up with one another but Amy Rose proved to be the edge in this match in the favor of Lacey Lane. Thunder Rosa went for a springbroad on the middle rope and got caught up and usually in this case the crowd eats you alive with BOTCHMANIA chants or making jokes at the athlete for the remainder of the night but instead Thunder Rosa embraced it and immediately got her balance back to land the move properly and kept the crowd behind her and excited for her next move, major respect for the natural instinct to perform. Thunder Rosa look like she was getting on a roll at this point about to finish the match early but Amy Rose finally got involved and saw that Lacey may be in danger and tripped Thunder up and held her at ringside as Lacey Lane put them paws on Thunder. The match from there went to the outside where Lacey took strong control at this point but knew she had to get Thunder back in the ring to finish it all off, great ring awareness on her behalf. Thunder Rosa executed this unorthodox surfboard maneuver that looked really nice and painful but that didn’t keep Lacey Lane down at all. Towards the end of the match we got a lot of near falls from both competitors and I was here for Amy Rose going at it with the fans on the outside back and forth and displaying how nervous she was by the face alone. Amy Rose is one of those managers that don’t have to say much but still get her point across with body language and facial expressions which really isn’t an easy skill just ask the late great Woman who had to scream all match and Vickie Guerrero at ringside. The match is now coming to an end with Thunder Rosa locking in the submission but Amy not letting her girl go out like that and causes a distraction but Thunder ends up releasing the hold and dropkicking Amy off the apron but turns around into a SUPERKICK by Lacey Lane for what you think would be a 3 count but it was just 2, SUCH A NEAR FALL!!!! So it turns out the move that Thunder Rosa was attempting to hit was a submission but it was in fact a nasty slam that got her the win it was really nice at that. Really good opening contest!

Kamilla Kaine defeats Aspyn Rose via pinfall (3 Stars out of 5): Kamilla Kaine comes out to the ring with so much INTENSITY! A lot of people are now calling her the female Goldberg which is interesting to me because I don’t see it. This match gets a three stars not because it was bad at all but I just can’t give squash matches more than three stars personally. I hope this makes sense but the booking and action of this match was really good and executed well but there were longer matches that had a lot more going on so I couldn’t just slap four stars on this one, I MEAN I COULD IF I REALLY WANTED TO! Let’s get into this match, I think Rose literally had one offensive move the entire match and the rest belong to Kaine There was this POUNCEEEE like shoulder tackle that wasn’t pretty at all but mad effective and Kaine followed up by taunting, she really does a great job of keeping the crowd energized like a Georgia Bulldogs football game. The match ends briefly after that shoulder tackle when Kaine hits a powerslam on Rose that landed dead in the middle of the ring but lifts her arm when it’s time for the three count which surprises me. From there Kaine proceeded to hurt the poor baby and put Rose in a torture rack slam and BY GOD Rose is getting up at this point but Kaine tackles her right back down with a SPEARRRR!!!!! Another great win for Kaine but I’m really intrigued to see what Rose can do in a match although she didn’t stand a chance against Kaine on this night I would love to see her in action soon in person.

Amanda Rodriguez defeats Ashton Star via submission (3.5 out of 5 Stars): This is the match where the crowd really got into their zone and was like around the ring now and talking hella shit. Like maybe the drinks were starting to kick in at this point but a great shoutout to Starr and Rodriguez for their shit talking prior to the match beginning that immediately got the crowd engaged. Rodriguez expressed how she’s not able to talk about her boobs at shows as much as she would like and the fans expressed how they are not able to curse and be uncensored as much as they would like so with that being said thank you AWE! So much name calling from calling one another bitches to talking about each other bodies, but ultimately the hair is what triggered the fight. The hair psychology within the match during the early going was great it was like you want to talk about my hair well I’m going to ruin yours. After all the hair pulling stopped we saw Amanda hit some arm drags followed by a beautiful dropkick and the momentum was definitely behind her at this point where she capitalized with a beautiful suicide dive mid rope that connected to Starr. Once the two got back into the ring, Starr started wrestling and nailed a nice back slam onto Amanda from there we saw this crazy reversal sequence that took place from a jackknife roll thru to a guitine to finally a standing overhead suplex!!!!!! The crowd went fuckin nuts and it wasn’t even close to being over yet we then got Ashton signature back breaker which landed dead on the back of Amanda. There was this moment where Ashton set up for a tombstone piledriver but Amanda countered it oh so perfectly into a hurricarana. Mannnnn these two were really raising the bar high for the remainder of the show with this one. Clothesline and elbows at this point that led to a backstabber being countered to a captain’s hook that made Starr pass out which secured Amanda with the win!

Chip Day comes out on a ROAR show and at first I was upset like come on man handle your business elsewhere this isn’t the time or the place. However, Chip Day is a part of a huge storyline here at AWE and it needed some attention. As Chip was talking shit about what happen at the last show, The Hierarchy members (Murder One, Jimmy Rave, and Adrian Armour) alongside was Paul Cockhard was making a complete mockery of Chip in the VIP section above. While distracted Chip Day was assaulted by a nameless man that nobody’s knows but his tights look like they said Gabriel on them so we are going to go with that.

Chip Day defeats Gabriel (3 out of 5 Stars): I really like that if they did put a match on the card like this it was a jobber that Chip was facing. It was one of them matches like why the fuck is it happening but yay we get to see Chip wrestle. It was like no one legit knew who this kid was because the Hierarchy wasn’t claiming at first. The best thing about this match was Murder One commentary it was hilarious as hell and I would pay for that. Chip Day for some reason played with the jobber longer than he should have with slaps and kicks but eventually after Adrian made his way down to the ring Chip ended the match with no involvement whatsoever. It was cool little filler match to keep the showing.

Gabby Gilbert defeated Kiera Hogan via pinfall (3.8 out of 5 Stars): Kiera Hogan was originally supposed to face Mickey Knuckles but if you read the fine print card is always subject to change. Kiera Hogan came out to one of the hottest tracks out right now Cardi B “Bodak Yellow” and had the crowd rocking and moving and sounded so good in the Opera venue. Prior to the match beginning Josh took the time to announce Kiera recent signing to Impact Wrestling as a Knockout. In addition to that Josh asked would this be Kiera last match in AWE and she proceeded to answer that, “Atlanta will always be home.” KIERA WE LOVE YOU!!!! Gabby Gilbert came out to the ring looking as sweet as she could be but I FOUND OUT FIRST HAND THAT Gabby is super tough and isn’t the one to play with. When this match first started off the athletes exchanged pinfalls back and forth which showed a nice deal of athleticism. There was this spot during the match when Gabby slaps Kiera on the ass and the crowd exploded with an “ASS ON FIRE” chant it was so funny. The crowd was really behind Kiera the entire match which put everyone against Gabby which was funny because Gabby looks like the sweetest wrestler like Bayley and she is now being boo’d out the venue. Gabby however embraced this role and played the part very well, I haven’t seen Gabby prior to this night so I’m not sure if she’s use to playing the bad guy role but she did excellent on this night. Just a reminder ROAR has no rules in all of its matches so when Gabby went for the wooden chair the match leveled up within intensity. Ya’ll this match lasted a good minute and it was really good because of the movesets they were using wasn’t the normal but they really went all out and kept the fans engaged all the way thru. Now this match was the sloppiest of the night and some of the really big moments ended very softly to be honest but with all that said it didn’t take away from the overall experience of what these women provided on this date. Gabby ankle lock out of nowhere was crazy I was legit marking out at that moment for a second, it was just a lot going on ya’ll have to believe me. There was a moment when I didn’t know how Kiera would get the win because Gabby would not stay down but Jimmy Rave came out of nowhere and hit a mean backslam drop on Kiera and Gabby capitalized for the win. Fantastic ending to a great match.

Post-Match: Owen Knight is furious at Jimmy Rave attacking his girl and start releasing some pipe bombs on The Hierarchy in their VIP section above. Now Murder One mentioned JeffreyShowLive and noted that I indeed stated that Owen Knight promo sucked ass at the last AWE Event however I felt like he was commited to it but my point of saying that is that HE WAS FEELING SOME TYPE OF WAY THAT HIS WOMAN WAS ASSAULTED. Excellent promo by Owen Knight I don’t even remember what he said to be honest but I felt the passion it was believable even when he said “JeffreyShowLive don’t get bitches”. We all know that I get bitches, seriously I really do you guys. Anywho this was excellent to set up for the tag team main event match for next month event, well done and properly executed.

Intermission: Huckabee made sure he kept his distance too!!!! I’ll see you at 8 weeks. Shoutouts to Tamika & Danny at the commentating table for the night and Patrick with the sounds!

Isla Dawn defeated Ivelisse via pinfall (4.5 out of 5 Stars): Can you say. MATCH OF THE FUCKIN NIGHT! Really strong start off these athletes did not waste anytime feeling one another out they dived right into it. I saw a hammerlock slam from Ivelisse and that was a clear message like you know who I am and what I’m about, you better come with it. Isla didn’t back down for one minute though that was her cue to step up and take her down and don’t look back for the rest of the match. I honestly can’t say too much about this match because I wasn’t taking notes because it was so much action, I couldn’t keep up and I was living in the moment. I love my readers but can you really blame me for just wanting to enjoy this match and bask in its glory without excessively recording and missing something because I’m a detail writer. This was a very physical match; the crowd was split during this contest a little more people behind the undefeated Isla Dawn but the most part it was split. Kicks, knees to the face, and a dash of wrestling moves in there from time to time and it was going down. So many fuckin near falls during this match, I mean some of the nearest falls all night, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. The match ended with exchanges of blows, combination, and reversals that lead to Isla Dawn having Ivelisse in a pinfall close to the ropes, Ivelisse grabbed the ropes and referee Grandpa Booker T proceeded to count to 3 giving Isla the win! Ivelisse felt unjust about the ending but under ROAR rules the ropes don’t mean a GOD DAMN THING! Ivelisse expressed her frustrations with the call by giving Grandpa Booker T a SUPERKICK SUCKASSS! The crowd went fuckin bannanas including myself, I’m guilty of losing my shit but a great ending to a great match.

Main Event Priscilla Kelly defeated Leva Bates via submission (4 out of 5 Stars): Although I really enjoyed the match of the night there’s a difference to the presence that this main event brought. This was a main event from the entrances to the actual match that took place these two athletes really took it there. This is another match that I really just enjoyed it and didn’t focus too much on the reviewing aspect of it. Leva Bates came out as Constantine with the cigarette and all. Priscilla in the beginning let it be known that “6 6 6” chants were dead and it’s now “Sex Sex Sex” which surprisingly the crowd was receptive to. The match began with Leva using the trench coach she had on as offense and it was so fuckin entertaining to start off the contest with. Priscilla was chasing the coat around like she was a bull before finally ending the game. Priscilla was very sexual during this match and the crowd went crazy for it, for example Priscilla was licking all over Leva. Priscilla from then used Leva own tie against her even taking it as far as fuckin Leva from behind with the tie. Leva managed to get out of that uncompromising position and tied Priscilla up to the ropes and you will never believe what happened after that. Leva pulled out a few dollar bills and threw them at Priscilla! OMGGGG. Leva told Priscilla if she wants to act like a whore, I’m going to treat you like one. Wait a minute ya’ll, Leva wasn’t done yet she from there threw water on Priscilla and treated it as holy water and Priscilla went fuckin NUTS!!!!!! Makeup wipes from then came out but I don’t know how they were used so that’s high key irrelevant but then Leva pulled back out her cigarette to burn Priscilla!!! THIS IS JUST TOO MUCH AT THIS POINT. The match from there went to the outside and ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE. Priscilla and Leva Bates involved a fan from the outside and were grinding all over him as they were beating one another up, I am not making this shit up, I swear. The match from there went into a photobooth and we didn’t know what the hell was going on but it had to be going DOWN! A really great match that was all over the place you all but it unexpectedly came to an end when Priscilla locked on a submission maneuver and under ROAR rules which means no GOD DAMN RULES Leva Bates didn’t stand a chance once it was securely locked in and tapped out.

Post-Match: Priscila Kelly is celebrating her victory and about to do her final wave on stage and BAMMMMMMM!!!! Out of fuckin nowhere once again Kamilla Kaine hits Priscilla with a SPEAR! I wasn’t ready, I had no idea this was going to happen once again and I was so upset because I didn’t get the footage. This is the third AWE show in a row where Kamilla is left standing over Priscilla motionless body, something has to give soon. This feud just keeps getting better and better, I LOVE IT.

Excellent show you all the next event will be held September 24th and you can find out more information on that at http://atlantawrestlingentertainment.com/index/ but this show gets a 4.7 out of 5 stars. Amazing show from top to bottom.

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