#has it really been 4 years already
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merry destiel canon election day to all who celebrate
i am in shambles
#destiel#november 5#us election#has it really been 4 years already#jackles release the tapes#sponsor season 16#remember#dean winchester#supernatural#jensen ackles#spn#castiel#deancas#cockles#misha collins#jenmish
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#selfie bee#me telling a coworker who I have been working with for 4 months and whose name I do not know about my toenails#i'm sorry Tobias (?? Paul ??) it was the only topic I could come up with after I already told you about the big bird I saw in 8th grade#FRIENDS how are you!! :) how has the new year been so far!!#did you have a lot of snow on christmas!#we did and it was really fun! I had a very bad cold so I just watched the snow from inside but that was good too c:#do you have any plans for the new year?#i always have lot and most of the time I do not do any of them but planning is fun#this year I REALLY want to watch all of Star Trek ヽ(´∇`)ノ#I would also love to learn how to make a handstand#imagine if you could just make yourself upside down#but it is a far away dream because honestly I am not very good at being usual side up most of the time either#but I will try probably at least 2 times to learn it ( ᐛ )#maybe I'll finally finish that website!#new years are good and fun#it's wild to think about how much daily life has changed since last year but I feel just the same :)#who knows what this year will bring!#I hope I don't hit a pheasant with my car#I almost hit a pheasant with my car last year and the pheasant made direct eye contact#I wonder how he is doing today#since that moment I think about pheasants a lot#I knew they were real but I had never seen one#just to know they are out there is a mystical feeling#right know it is raining so all the pheasants might be wet#get dry soon pheasants!!#I don't think I've ever seen a wet bird either#I don't know what do do with all these birds thoughts#also thank you for the person who asked about my skirt!! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡.°⑅#I've finished it and its really really bad#but I love it
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compiled whatever this is (and I run out of tag space)
meh HoT gifs (3/?)
#alek gifs#ninjago#ninjago krux#ninjago acronix#hands of time#time twins#alternate title to this series is : stuff i noticed after watching this season 10 whole times#okay actually thats a lie. i realized this the 3rd time around#i think of acronix and how he barely makes any decisions for himself and i go crazy#ppl equate that with him feeling forced to do stuff.. uh hes always been a follower guys!!#cue him calling wu “master wu” even after the twins betrayal. him liking machia bc shes “mean” and bossy#he has no issue with following orders lol. prepare for a long acronix rant one day#contexts -> gif 1 barely counts i just wanted to include him looking at krux. he does this a lot during that fight#gif 2 is before they kill blunck and raggmunk (idk how to spell their names still ... sorry)#gif 3 is before they were going to kill wu in the golden hour legacy short. which is canon !!#gif 4 is before they sent themselves into the temporal vortex#that one post that was like “are we still doing revenge? yeah? cool” bc thats basically acronix#there is something fundamentally wrong with these two's brains but idk how to describe it#krux who literally lost his mind after losing his brother to the point he adopted an entire identity#“he just needed to go undercover!!” counter point as soon as acronix came back he was unable to pretend to be saunders. he acted super weird#like when kai was in the museum he couldnt pretend to be this person he wasnt. acronix was back !!! so was he. krux was 100% going to kill#the smith sibs if maya and ray didnt comply. also.. canonly they knew him when they worked as teachers back in s3. he watched them grow up#and pretended all was well meanwhile their parents were being forced to work and slave away to build the iron doom. he is not normal#then you have acronix who thrives off of violence and is described as throwing himself into battle like a blunt object. has no regard#for himself as a person and just takes (almost) everything his brother says as gospel. s7 couldve done smthn really cool with how#the only thing the twins ever really disagreed on was technology. also ive went on a semirant about how krux's hatred for tech was misplaced#hatred for losing acronix. wanted to travel to the pre modern era? okay well whyd he pick 40 years ago specifically. also NOTE that they#went back after their past selves had lost. they wouldve faired better if they went and helped their past selves. also the reversal blade#had already fallen so when the twins went back in time there was two kruxes. he literally went back to when he had been all alone for the#for the first time. he went back to when his life was ruined and his brother was gone!! but he had nix with him this time . ughdhf
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All That's Left follows two journalists and their friends in post-apocalyptic United States as they travel from the fallen east coast megalopolis Opportunity back to Los Angeles, crossing through a harsh wasteland overrun with zombies— only to find out that there is a lot more life left than what the protected cities want them to believe. On their journey they meet dozens of people living their lives as peaceful as possible away from military forces, corporations, and corrupt governments; and they learn that the same mutated ghouls that took down Opportunity are spreading rapidly through the country, destroying everything in their path. Will this finally be the end of the world as we know it?
taglist (opt in/out)
@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart;
@vvanessaives, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;
@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;
@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree
#all that's left#edit:misc#nuclearedits#so um. hi. this is an original story i've been working on since 2016 and i love it so so much. sorry#it's not a tv show but i would love for it to be a tv show do you understand. my vision. are you seeing the vibes of this#it's BRIGHT. it's COLORFUL. it's FUN. there's so many cool characters and it's focused a lot on like#the connections between the main characters and all that#mac and layla (the journalists) go from having to write about this megalopolis which. if anything is just. a city version of a nepo baby#to writing about the people who are still living out there who are being completely overlooked by the safe cities and everything#everything really is not that bad out there!! in fact all of the misery that IS still in the wasteland is created specifically by like#the safe cities who keep snatching away supply drops from people who need it etc etc. and governments pretending that#there's no smaller settlements out there anymore and all that#and also there's zombies. ghouls. i call them ghouls but they have many funky names across the whole world in this universe#anyway yeah there's a lot more to this universe already because well 8 years in the making LMAO so i have another edit incoming#for the fictional season 2. aka book 2. yes there's a book 2. there's also a book 3 and 4. sorry for being insane#the linked playlists has songs for book 1-3 right now :]#if you have any questions PLEAAASSEEEE send me asks. preferably asks and not dms because tumblr dms suck ass#but i would love to talk more about this :^)
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Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.
#I've sort of made a new friend? Like we met at the same art group and he's also trans which was like pleasantly surprising in our small town#but like. We have Differences Of Opinion#and it's not totally his fault because it sounds like he's had a Lot of bad shit in his past that's obviously made him wary and closed off#but like. He's slightly older than me (only 4 years) and keeps blaming a load of his problems on other trans folks?#like you know the type. The like 'all these nonbinary/other identities the kids are doing are complicating shit'#the 'it hurts to see people younger than me inc. kids get hormones thrown at them when I still can't get 'em' (which... yeah not even true)#and he's told me himself he doesn't engage much with the queer community bc it's too 'toxic'#and like. I can absolutely understand why he could've had some bad experiences esp. since he has some mental health shit going on#but he wants to be friends bc he doesn't know anyone else going through the medical shit and it's like. Yeah no shit you don't?#you decided the community you'd find them in is toxic? and that people in them are doing being trans wrong?#and I think if he was just some guy online I'd like roll my eyes and ignore him#but he's a real person in my vicinity and I feel fucking bad for him#and I can see how much self loathing he has and how much that probably informs the bullshit#like he told me he thinks that trans men and cis men are fundamentally different categories and trans men will never be cis men#but not in a 'the experiences are just different and come with different perspectives way'#in like a self defeating way. Like a I just have to settle for being a trans man way.#and it made me SO SAD#like bro#I'm so sorry for whoever the fuck made you feel like you're fighting an unwinnable battle#and I want to be a friend to him. I want him to feel like there's other queer people out there and there's friends and hope#but also I genuinely could see him being the kind of person who would get really angry at you for no fault of your own#like I already get the distinct feeling he resents me a little#like obviously not too much since he still wants to hang#but he's been trying and failing to get HRT for years and I got it super quickly basically by sheer luck/a doctor who looks out for me#like I'm so fucking lucky. And I just genuinely feel like he's the kind of person who might take that personally.#I just do not think I have the fucking. Emotional tool kit to salvage this shit#But I also can't exactly text him and say sorry I don't think we should hang out so. What do.#.....I wasn't even LOOKING for a new friend! I have enough friends!!! I wanted to make clay faces and look at pretty buildings dammit!!!#now I have to be the emotionally mature one who goes hmmm maybe let's not blame other depressed trans kids for our problems buddy#I'm just gonna have to be like. Upfront about my stance and if he doesn't like it well he doesn't have to hang out with me
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hi guys im still alive lol. havent been drawing too too much lately (depressions a bitch xd) but i do have a few things yay yippee!!!! i ended up doing a style study of sorts a few months ago (i dated em so yk when theyre from) and ive been trying to make this my new style bc i really like it (with some hiccups but hey. arts hard lol) so heres some pyrrlinas :-] (yes ik its a redraw (and u may have to zoom a little bc the croppings kinda. yeah.))
#913's art#ok to rb#♡ pyrrha alexandra#digital art#clip studio paint#self ship art#self insert#self insert community#wlw self ship#pyrrha alexandra#soulcalibur v#scv#//help i cant believe the last time i posted any pyrrlinas was in fucking april why has it been 4 months already STOP PASSING SO FAST TIME#//i need to fix my lack of drawing but. yk. what i mentioned above plus my usual pc imploded on itself and we've been stuck using an older#//that kinda sucks lmao.#//but mainly what i mentioned b4 is my issue. not really the pcs fault xd#//i have been trying though!! its just. really difficult @_@#//i did draw something yesterday though and i'll post that in a little bit!!!#//its very sketchy but i just HAD to color it you guys'll see when i do post it i prommy <3#//siiiiiiiiigh i love pyrrha u guys i love her so much u have no idea#//OH YEAH ALSO THE FACT IT'LL HAVE BEEN 12 YEARS SHIPPING WITH HER IN A FEW MONTHS??????????? WACK.
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hey guys so I just started reading Flatland by Edwin A. Abbott and OMG AHSBNSBSBSNSNBSHZHSHDBFHGGHFHGRJ2KSHSBSNSK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THINKING ABOUT THE RELATIVITY BETWEEN DIMENSIONS!!!!!!
#probably the nerdiest thing i will ever read in my entire life but I AM SO HAPPY#Its the unabridged and corrected 1992 republication btw. if you wanna get specific#the only book in which i have actually decided to read the introductory notes and i do NOT regret it because the editor's one IMMEDIATELY#brought up the “oh but surely the second dimension has thickness how else would flatlanders see anything” AND GAVE A REALLY GOOD ANSWER.#which i cannot tell you here. bc it is several paragraphs long and idk how i would shorten it. i would hit tag limit. if thats a thing.#anyways. I'm only a little bit into the first part which basically explains how Flatland works as a society so i haven't even gotten to the#sphere yet but OH MAN I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED ABOUT A ROUND OBJECT IN MY LIFE#IM LOSING IT OVER THIS BOOK AAAA :D#me: im so glad i dont have a math class during my senior year! now i dont have to learn anything math-related!#also me: but what if i started studying a complex and almost entirely theoretical part of geometry#bc YEAH i didn't just buy this book bc of gravity falls. I BOUGHT IT BC IVE BEEN RESEARCHING THE 4TH DIMENSION WOOOOOOO!!!!!#one thing i will say i dont like. introductory note suggests the the 4th dimension might be time. this is ok tho bc its followed up with#also saying that time is not a spatial dimension and exist across the 0 1st 2nd and 3rd dimensions which. that epuld mean we live in 4d#already. so. i was worried for a second but THANK YOU THANK YOU OH MY GOD PEOPLE TRYING TO SAY “OH THE 4TH DIMENSION IS TIME” I HATE THAT SO#MUCH AAAAGGHHHH AT LEAST RECOGNIZE ITS NOT SPATIAL!!! TIME IS NOT A SPATIAL DIMENSION!!!!!!! IF IT WAS THEN 4D TRAVEL AND TIME TRAVEL WPULD#BE FHE SAME THING AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MUCH COOLER POSSIBILITIES WPULD BE THROWN AWAY IF THAT WAS THAT CASE!!!!! AND. AND. IF THE 4TH#DIMENSION IS TIME. THEN WHATS THE 5TH?? 6TH?? YPU CANT KEEP GOINF ON FOREVER LIKE THAT. YPURE JUST MAKEING MORE 3D WORLSS WITH STUFF IN#ADDITION TO TIME. INTERESTING BUT THAY IS NOT ABOHT HIGHRER DIEMSBSJSNSBAKAJSHDHDHHDHDHDJ#sorry for the rant. jsut. agh i want a spatial 4th dimension. i dont think tesseracts exist through time that would just be an aged cube#anyways yeahhh i love the 4th dimension. new hyperfixation or new special interest? ill have to wait and see. anyways i have done it i have#an oc whos 4 dimensional now and she is the coolest ever i love her#but yeah this book is sosososo good i am literally gonna bring it to school to read instead of draw bc i would lose it if i didn't#10/10 would recommend to anyone who wants to Think
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tw vent
#i was super duper excited because at the end of last year i took a test#and i got a high enough proficiency level that i could skip spanish 4#still am excited#my teacher said i really should do it#and it made sense#i thought that it would be so great etc yk because people want to be there in spanish 5#you've already taken 4 years#anyway it is#just not for me because I know no one#and in trying to find somewhere to sit#ofc i end up at a table with the kids who shouldn't fucking be there#they speak in english constantly#how am i supposed to learn?#and i really want to learn like really really want to#i also wanted to make friends#like its spanish 5#people talk in spanish whole class#always to the teacher#discuss in table groups#not these people#bro is talking about his gf being bi in the middle of class like#one of them didn't know lunes was monday#i want to cry#i actually have cried#then we had to present something and i tried but it's like the joke of the class#I AM SO DISAPPOINTED maybe it will get better but AHHH#i thought it would be so much better it could be so much better#idk what to do i could talk to the teacher but i don't want to be that kid#i want people to like me but I just really want to learn#it has only been two days but still
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man... rhoam's "redemption" in aoc really sucked, huh?
like botw SHOWED us, several times, how much pressure rhoam put on zelda to unlock her powers, despite her telling him, several times, that it wasn't working. he got angry and banned her from doing not only something she saw as useful, but something that she was clearly very interested in and passionate about because she "wasn't dedicating enough time to her prayers." yes, his diary expresses regret for it, but at the end of the day, if zelda saw that it wouldn't mean much to her. the actions rhoam took, and the way zelda grew up under so much pressure that she nearly died as a child in one of the springs (this is in urbosa's diary, iirc) mean so much more than his regrets and his intentions. it took him nearly 10 years to realize that he fucked up, and by that point it was too late. the calamity had returned, and rhoam had lost any chance he had at making things right with zelda.
meanwhile, in aoc, all that's there is some half-hearted scene in the temple of time that's supposed to make everything better? yes, aoc had a very different and arguably better outcome than the calamity that led to botw, but the damage was still done by rhoam. it's still the same hurts and abuse and trauma that he put his daughter through all because of the prophesized calamity.
#legend of zelda#breath of the wild#hyrule warriors age of calamity#sorry i just. i don't know what nintendo meant to do with rhoam#i guess they were trying to make him into a guy who did bad things for a good reason but still#i think the action matters more than the reason because the action is what impacts others the most#when someone is hurting and they lash out what people remember most is them lashing out#that scene in aoc really felt kinda empty and half-hearted (even kohga crying during the scene kinda felt forced)#yeah i guess they were trying to make him into a stern father who we were meant to sympathize with because he didn't want to do#what he had to do. but it kinda... fell flat?#i don't think he was a good king either. he wasn't a tyrant for sure but also what kinda king puts the fate of his entire kingdom#on the back of like 6 people. 4 of whom are considered kids or young adults by their society's standards#(urbosa also mentions this in her diary and she hates that she and daruk are the only seasoned warriors of the champions)#(her diary is full of worldbuilding gems because of her relationship with zelda and its worth a read if you have the DLC)#don't think i forgot about link in all of this either. he was like 12 when he pulled the master sword and he wasn't much older than zelda#if he was older at all. and he was already a knight as a teenager. he was a child soldier who rhoam personally appointed#because he was able to wield the master sword#and maybe revali has a point there. maybe he didn't deserve any of it but not in the way that revali thinks#i don't think that's a writing mistake. revali is a very flawed character and he's young and brash and impulsive. he's very harsh on link#because he thinks he's being overlooked for his skills while link gets all of the pomp for doing the bare minimum#which isn't true but there's also not really anyone proving otherwise to him. link himself doesn't talk a lot#BUT I DIGRESS this post is about rhoam not link and revali#yes i have sat on this for 3 and a half years. what of it#i think rhoam could have had a redemption if he didn't like. deliberately lie to link at the beginning of botw. several times.#like.... these are flawed characters and it would take a LOT for rhoam to shift his world view like that#if he had come to the conclusion he did earlier and listened to zelda maybe things would have been a bit different#but he didn't. he missed his chance to speak with his daughter and tbh the fact that it took him about 10 years to realize this#says a lot about his character i think#post brought to you by the copious amounts of hades i've been playing (zagreus and zelda are an interesting point of comparison in my mind)#(like yeah rhoam and hades are two completely different parents but they both had similar outcomes with their children)
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#am tryin not to cry about this right now. I wonder when it’ll be over#this specifically. the trauma from my parents from being the savior the mediator and I’ve been communicating and trying so hard#and it’s been months and we still need to go to therapy and like everything’s ‘fine’ like I’m gonna be moving to dorms in the fall but#my sis will be stuck here for 4 more years#I don’t wanna start a fight and try and become her legal guardian and like she literally has a plan to run away if stuff gets worse#so like everything’s ‘fine’ a stalemate really and it’s all good if I don’t think about it too hard and it’s whatever sorry#I just want to heal already#(that’s not even touching the trauma having a chronic illness gives and how that’ll never go away lol) and other things#vent sorry#just look at the pic and feel things
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i read this book back in like 2019 and i liked it so much i wanted my own copy and then found out it was out of print, despite having been published in 2015, AND there was an article from 2018 saying they were making a movie adaptation of it?????
#polls#t.v. talk#books#poll#also sorry for the weird formatting i've never included a picture on a poll before so i was not sure how to#ALSO i have not read this book since 2019 or 2020. i do have my own copy though i got off ebay. originally read the library copy#so if you decide to read and are like um T.V. you like this book? it has x wrong with it. ummm. i don't remember everything that happens in#it sorry#anyway i was thinking about it last night bc i had californiacation stuck in my head and i heavily associate that song with this book. or#rather i really just associate it with Skark. who in my brain will always be PINK thank you very much!!#wait also should clarify it was out of print IN 2019. idk how long it had been already but that was crazy to me bc the book was only 4 year#old at the time
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just found out that instead of my mom my fucking shitass dad is coming home FOR A WEEK
#ugh i really want to kill someone rn im so mad#why can't he just fucking leave us alone#i know he used to be home 24/7/365 days just a year ago but istg it took us no time to adjust to life without him#now he comes home for like 2 days and my blood starts to boil i can't bear him he's so fucking irritating and interfering#mom coming home would have been relaxing finally burden free after 15 days#now the burden will be double tripled he's such a fucking lazy slob he can't even get his own glass of water#and he'll sleep in our room because it has ac UGHHHHHHHJHH it's so yuck i won't have a minute to myself and my mental health will decline#even MORE than it already has like if that's even possible#and he doesn't take his fucking meds so he's all weak and sick and lazy and he expects us to coddle him#well you know what fuck him im not even going to pretend to be happy that he's here or be nice to him and try to make him feel welcome#he broke this family up and it's going to stay broken up forever so fuck himmmm#and i have a freaking 750 ml bottle of vodka lying in my dresser what the fuck do i do with it now huh?????#it's only like 1/4th empty 3/4th is still full#and it's my sisters birthday on 26th and they'll both be here ugh i was sooo looking forward to actually celebrating with her#now she'll feel miserable and horrible and it'll be JUST like every other birthday she's spent at home#fucking grand#ugh god i sooo do not want to cook dinner for 4 people im so sick of this#and he isn't even satisfied with dinner he fucking eats like 4 times a day he wants a hot breakfast and lunch and evening snack and dinner#man i hope something happens to him and he isn't able to come🙏🙏 god if you're real 🙏🙏🙏🙏
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day 61
one a those days
#day 61#year 4#it me#i dont know how much detail ive gone into on this blog#because i do like to keep a particular vibe here#but without going into detail im on like my sixth major family medical crisis in like#3 months?#and i just think. if everybody could stay out of the hospital for like.#more than 2 weeks at a time?#that would be fantastic#that would be really great for all of us actually#anyway everybody is fine we just had a scary ER visit today after my grandma had a nasty fall#she is okay she didnt break any bones and she is now having the chillest and comfiest time she can manage at home#busted her right arm pretty good but shes getting along just fine and has followups already scheduled with her doctor#HOWEVER. the energy of the day has still been hot garbage and id like to speak to the manager
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Oh. Sad
#the rhetoric and blame shifting is already bothering me btw#like ppl saying this has nothing to do with her policies like okay#the assumption everyone has that Green Party would automatically be democratic votes if they weren’t green is unreal#I have 0 opinion accelerationists tbh bc idek what the hell the intricacies of that are#the demographics#hate to say it but latinoes really did surprise me like wow guys. crazy work#the fl 60% amendment rule is insaaane#and tbh back to the Green Party thing the idea that they’re guaranteed democrats if under other circumstances is crazy#not just bc those numbers so far wouldn’t have gotten her any state#but bc the logic doesn’t hold up bc by that logic u should still be pissed at catering to right wing policies and ideals#her stance on immigration militarism fracking etc. bc she’s catering to ppl who would STILL be right wing#like the ppl who agree with her on these stances would rather see it on a white man#hate to say it but Girlboss feminism doesn’t work when you’re black#and everyone’s tip toeing around it but yes. as a black women you DO have to go harder and set more stances that align with ur voter base#bc for everyone who’ll show up for you being u in a country like this there’s twice the ppl who won’t just bc ur u#and ppl keep tryna say this isn’t about race like it kind of was. in the sense that everyone forgot that when ur black u do have to work#harder for half the credit - which is unfortunate and frustrating that bw don’t get to be vile and get rewarded but that’s what u account#for when running. like u can’t appeal to right wingers and their ideals bc their ideals and biases mean it was never gonna be you#uhm anyways this is like. are we choosing overt or covert racism for the next 4 years and apparently overt#and idk maybe I’m naive I thought this was gonna be an eye opener#that ppl would go back review the campaign see what went wrong have real convos on what we care about as a collective#but so far ppl are saying ppl who thought politicians should earn their vote need to be on the front lines and saying leftist ideals that#fell apart the second they tokenized one of us as the possible face of the imperial core#ig It’s like. are we bracing ourselves to set back until the next panic or are we finally gonna be motivated to haul ass#yknow hopefully in the end some of y’all see what we’ve been going through the entire time#also now that we can’t say at least they’re not trump anymore are we gonna break down Harris and bidens own transphobia and Zionism#or are they useless to discuss now after y’all propped them up as ur saviors for the last few months
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I'm not American I'm sure I've made that clear here but since it's Election Day in America it's worrisome that I once again have to compel myself to tell voters not to be stupid.
You're 1-1 right now, and the fact that this is considered a close election is a bafflement to the world. You are either voting for someone with a plan or a cult leader looking to use presidency as a Get Out Of Jail Free card, again.
So please. Don't. Be. Stupid.
#us election 2024#us elections#Musk giving voters money to vote red seems like it should be illegal that's literal bribery there#if you want to think financially then red accrues 100bn more national debt than blue#look at the endorsements: one side has a long list of academics and unions while the other has a long list of racists and petrol companies#we've already been hearing 'stop the steal' rhetorics start again - that is not the actions of someone seeking peace and order#How is it that McCarthyism still works on some red states when their guy is literally buddies with the 3 main communist world leaders?#do you think the world really wants 4 years of another leader threatening Nuclear war (while he keeps classified codes in Mar-a-lago)?#let's not let Trump escape proper justice yet again? Not when this time the jury won't be majority republicans that blindly support him#it's bad enough that you literally set him for life by giving him a single term#don't get me wrong british politics is fucked too but we don't have to wait 4 years to vote out our shitstain leaders#the right decision is literally looking directly at you
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The seasonal depression + major life stress to agoraphobia relapse pipeline is kicking my ass
#the adhd & demand avoidance don’t help any either#I end up wanting to avoid responsibilities out of spite and bc I’m time blind I don’t even notice how many days I’ve gone without leaving#the house#by the time you add the actual depression and anxiety and trauma I’m already struggling#it’s gotten so hard to go to shabbat services on friday nights bc it’s dark at 4:30 and the temple is in the middle of downtown#in not the safest area and there’s almost no parking#(to be clear it’s not just anxiety or fear preventing me from going. it’s hard to want to go anywhere when it’s dark and cold for normal#human reasons)#but still#i hate being in a position where I feel like I have to assume the worst of other human beings#bc that’s just. not who I am. its incongruent with who I am to walk down the street and assume people are bad and want to hurt me#that’s not a judgement I’d ever want to make lightly#even if I’ve also always been hypervigilant (it’s complicated ig)#(really feel like my nervous system has just not been able to fully stabilize for the past six weeks. it’s already such a hard time of year#for me and with recent events on top of that…)#anyway. I need to start planning ways to leave the house ig.#agoraphobia
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