#has attempted to bribe Duke into doing it for him

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Hello, can I get more stories about yandere cheerleaders and the yandere soccer team ? It's okay if you don't want to write it right now. May you be happy and healthy. Be together with everyone for a longggggg time !

Yandere Cheerleaders + Football Team (2)

Last Post

The thing about having two of the most dedicated and competitive teams obsessing over you definitely means protection but it also means being the main point of their tug-of-war

While they’re more than gung-ho about chasing off anyone else at the college who’s thinking of being more than acquaintances 

When they’re aren’t bigger fish to fry they start looking at each other

“Look, we already planned to study with them so you need to back off!”

“Ha, you ‘planned’ to. We asked them already so unless you’d like to explain why we can’t hang–you back off!”

“Our Captain–!”

“Clearly isn’t updated on (Y/n)’s time. Better take your pom poms and go do that.”

“You’ll pay for this!” 

Just because the Captains who’ve headed this interest are dating doesn’t mean the animosity between their teams goes away

“That’s what they said? Really? You know your girls have a tendency to exaggerate.”

“Exaggerate!? Your muscle brains went and posted all the evidence needed. No, they did not exaggerate they asked them and you know how weak they are if they’re asked by the group! Which is why we made the rule–!”

“I know. I know. They probably were just tired of the stalling, the week started and they haven’t gotten any alone time.”

“Yeah well now they’re going to pay for it, the girls are vengeful before they are patient.”

“Can’t you stop them, we have a big game on Thursday.”

“No we have competitions on Wednesday and if the girls don’t have their blood our competitors are going to get more than just their butts kicked. And I refuse to bribe those judges anymore. ”

“Please baby just this once.”

“No.”

“...”

“...”

“Alright guess we’ll have to duke this out later.”

“Yeah, now do you want to invite them over for takeout or go over to theirs for takeout?”

“Oooh, we haven’t been in a while! Let’s go to theirs!”

They do end up agreeing amicably

But that doesn’t mean the teams do

Whoever’s turn it is as decided by the Captains is always happier

It’s the ones who don’t that begin to talk amongst themselves

“I love our captain but he’s such a pushover!”

“Yeah, a leader should be a leader over his woman too!”

“But have you seen the cheer captain? She’s scary!”

“Yeah but the question comes up at some point who do you love more? The witchy cheer chic or (Y/n)?”

“That’s an obvious answer for me!”

“(Y/n) all the way!”

The cheer team is no different, barely waiting for their captain to leave the bathroom before scoffing

“I can’t believe she screwed us over again.”

“Hate to say it but did you really think she’d hold her ground to him?”

“Yeah, you guys remember that one ex right? She abandoned us back in Summer just for his that greaser wannabe.”

“Hmmm true…Hey do you guys think she’d dumb Captain manscape if (Y/n) asked?”

“Oooh that might be fun to find out!”

But despite how malicious it sounds the heart of those teams knows not to act they know better

… or most of them

There’s one or two in both teams that break 

Usually hinting at the cheer captain’s doing something awful to you

Cheating on the other or talking bad about you to the new students you’ve been trying to be friends with

While they’ll swoon in the moment because you’re hanging off their every word it never lasts

By the time they return to fraternity or sorority, the dream is over

And they're about to feel the worst and last pain in their life

“Look ladies here’s someone who’s threatened our flock…MY flock. New Girl!”

“Yes, Captain!”

“What do we do with the mockingbirds?

“We push them out the nest?”

“Very good!”

On the cheer squad, a simple alone time or texting without informing two other cheerleaders is humiliation by way of social media

Flirting with you earns a spanking by the vice leader

And attempting to undermine the captain…well let’s say the Cheer team is careful to wear  their running mascara when one of their teammate's severed hand appears a couple of miles off campus

No one really knows exactly what happens

Just that the only thing that identifies their old teammate is the obscure telltale feature

Like the green manicured nail on her index, the only one not torn off 

As for the Football Team they tend not to make it too imaginative

NOT because they aren’t smart…they just don’t need to be that creative with it

Plus they’re not that great at cleaning their own messes

“Captain, can I do the honors? I’ve got something special for our…dear friend.”

"Go for it."

“Edibles, the big M, a couple of high-grade stuff from our pharma buddies, and for an extra touch something out of this world to make sure you regret all that you’ve done.”

They’re big fans of injection

Holding the offender down and give one two three if they’re awful shots and then letting them loose

On a club’s rooftop, or a dodgy club, or even on their football field 

it’s just the horrible drugs that leave them totally unaware by the rabid dog pack or the unfenced edge or the sketchy people hovering near them

It’s textbook after all that kids too focused on their careers just get lost in the drugs

A shame that this pandemic isn’t exempt from infesting Energi University

It’s a little sloppy because they don’t always die

But thanks to their indulgent cocktails they sure won’t be remembering or even capable of getting a proper sentence out

“Honey, I wanted to congratulate you on that good catch you did. I was really impressed with that blend.”

“Thanks, babe but don’t think I didn’t notice how you killed that cheer!”

“....Are you guys talking in code because I really don’t get it.”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it hon! Now about that takeout.”

“Yeah babe, we’ll pay for it and put on a movie or somethin’.”

“Oh but then it’ll be dark and even if your together I wouldn’t want you guys out there with all the danger around campus lately.”

“Then we’ll stay over!”

“Wait–”

“Yeah, it’s cool we don’t mind cuddling up with you.”

“Yup! Not at all!”

“Uh okay I guess.”

“Oh also you’re free to come to our practices right?”

“Yeah, both teams have been missing you real bad.”

Thanks for the well wishes anon! 🖤🖤🖤🖤 Rules | Kofi | Commissions

[5rozebub5]

The Batfamily in line for a roller coaster at an amusement park:

Bruce: Is slowly losing his mind from hearing the same upbeat repetitive 3 minute song play over and over from the ride's speakers. He's mentally plotting a way to buy the amusement park specifically to change this one rides music to something less suicide inducing

Barbara: Got a fast pass to skip the line and has already been on the ride several times. She didn’t buy them in advance or anything, she just hacked in their website to get virtual copies. She is having the time of her life and is making sure everyone else knows it.

Dick: is the only reason any of them are there. Refuses to succumb to boredom and has been trying forcefully engage everyone else as well. He’s played rock paper scissors 32 times with three different people. Is contributing to Bruce's crippling sanity by occasionally humming along to the ride soundtrack.

Jason: Trying to annoy Bruce enough that he makes them leave so he doesn’t have to confess how much he doesn’t want to go on this ride. He’s not scared by any means but this particular ride made him motion sick as a kid and he doesn’t want to test it as an adult

Cassandra: Doesn't mind waiting in line and is enjoying just watching everyone else and their varying increasingly amusing behavior. Has no intention of actually riding the ride and already has a getaway route planned when they make it to the front

Tim: Is extremely tired from back to back all nighters and doing anything he can to wake himself up so he doesn't accidentally fall asleep on a roller coaster again. He still hasn't lived down the first time.

Steph: Is trying to get Tim to play line games with her to varying success since he keeps spacing out. Doesn’t understand why Bruce doesn’t simply bribe his way to the front. Has attempted to sneak through the fast pass line with Barbara several times but keeps getting stopped by security

Duke: Thinks that waiting in the line is part of the amusement park experience and was happy to be invited along since he rarely went o parks as a kid. Has played 28 of the 32 rock paper scissors games with Dick to pass the time

Damian: Was forced to come and doesn’t understand why any of them have interest in seeking a thrill from a roller coaster when their lives provided more than enough adrenaline. Would rather have Goliath just drop and catch him a few times but can’t say that as his family doesn’t know he does that in the first place

Alfred: On a bench nearby patiently waiting with all their things while he reads a book. Has already secretly paid for the photo of the experience for later use

[headspacedad]

The Villainess Captured the Grand Duke

So today I've got a fun one for you. The Villainess Captured the Grand Duke is - well, yeah, okay, its the story of a girl that ends up in a story she was reading. And yes - she ends up in the body of Schuer, the main villainess of the story. In the story, Schuer gets envious of her younger sister, the female lead of the novel, tries to poison her and -

look, our girl just isn't interested in that. Instead, she catches the first cart north. Our girl has Priorities and its to meet her favorite character in the novel.

This is the Grand Duke Raegrane Vlenn (yeah, I don't know with the names either, they're just mumbles in my head). Point is, in the novel, Raegrane is one of the two main houses of the Empire (Schuer belonging to the other). House Vlenn has the ability to wield an amazing magic through their swords but the swords feed on human emotion. No only does this make the members of the family unable to feel emotion over time - once they lose their ability entirely the magic stops working and considering that magic is used to fight the horrifying monsters that live in the North, the end result is often a quick death as the members of the house aren't going to stop fighting just because their swords won't work anymore. This is what happened to Raegrane in the novel. After falling in love with the heroine, only to be rejected, he lost the last of his humanity and was killed fighting monsters. Shortly after that, the North fell to the creatures.

Our girl Schuer is not having that.

Because Raegrane is her favorite character in the novel and our girl has A Plan!

That's right. She wants him to have happiness -

and if he can't feel happiness, well, annoyance is still an emotion. Schuer is going to do whatever it takes to make sure the Duke survives.

As for the Duke, he's got the ability to emotion the way a fish does to breath air and yet, Schuer's whole-hearted, unashamed and over-the-top fangirling stirs... something in him.

Now the story could just go on that line and I would have entirely enjoyed it. Schuer is all about building her fangirl collection and it doesn't take long for the Duke to start bribing/distracting her with things. It's so enjoyable seeing him deadpan handing over items to her grabby raccoon paws.

But there's more to the story than that. Schuer plays the role of airhead but there's some serious Machiavellian planning going on behind the scenes for her. She's going to save her duke and that means from a lot more than just his sword eaten emotions. The story in the novel is vastly different from the story she's uncovering behind the scenes and its enjoyable watching the tiles flip from what the story told her to what really happened.

She's not the only one discovering a different story either. Watching the duke's reaction to his over the top wife - and the absolutely acceptance, love and adoration she pours out onto him - plus watching him following how clever she is - it gives me little bolts of delight each time something new happens. He's so nonpulssed with indulging her. I just love the combination of her wild enthusiasm and his flat response - and how well that works for them together as a couple.

There are some hiccups with the story. There have been several times I've felt as if I was supposed to understand something by inference that I must have missed and its jumped subjects without fully explaining what's going on a few times as well. I'm not sure if its the translation I'm reading or if the story is expecting me to make connections clearly from things I'm only catching vaguely but it really hasn't slowed down my enjoyment of the story so far. Watching Schuer blow through situations as if she's not aware of them and yet being exactly aware of them in reality - and watching the Duke slowly starting to respond to her affection is feeding me wonderfully.

rating: solid PG

warnings: death, sibling favoritism, maybe some second-hand embarrassment (YMMV), attempted murder, smarmy crown prince, Vulcan logic, overly pretty high priest

finished: no

abs?: not yet but we got a delicious back in Chapter 20

if you want a sweet, funny, surprisingly clever story of a melting heart of ice and a chicken named Dowry, this is the story for you.

[nottosh]

Batfamily playing Minecraft

Bruce: Either Creative or Hardcore; this can be for two reasons: he feels like he always destroys anything around him as Bruce Wayne or Batman. He is constantly surrounded by things he cannot control, so in playing Creative, he has sway over stuff around him. Or in Hardcore, him expecting everything to go wrong makes him more safe when playing (especially with all his contingencies).

Dick: Creative or Survival. Either he is the type of person to enjoy mindlessly making structures or he is dead set on proving he can survive by himself but also doesn't like the chance of losing his world to an accident.

Jason: Hardcore. Was that any question? Every time he plays he makes a death joke, along the lines of him already playing in survival (him 'respawning') and wanting to know how other people feel about being restricted to one life. The real reason is that he wants to be able to live out this life to the fullest, like he wasn't able to in real life.

Tim: Survival or Hardcore: He would play to automate everything (iron farm, gold farm, villager breeder, etc) and would probably throw himself into learning redstone mechanics; leading to him creating a calculator or something high-tech in Minecraft. He would play both Hardcore and survival like Bruce; trying to control the simple things like a block game helps his mind to relax is stressful situations

Cass: Creative- she, like Bruce feels like she destroys more than she creates and in this fun little block game she can create to her heart's content

Steph: Hardcore. She would be extremely protective of her world (probably lasting for at least 2 years), leading to it being used as a hostage in arguments. She understands how redstone mechanics work to some degree but refuses to make anything above an iron farm, stating that if she wanted to play Minecraft easier she would have played survival

Duke: Survival. He wouldn't 'complete' the game but he would get to a point in the world where he doesn't know what else he wants to do and starts over, leading to him creating at least five different worlds each month

Damian: Creative- he would say that he plays survival but really he just likes making huge houses for pets and animals. At some point, he made a survival world but saw no point in continuing after constantly dying in caves

Babs: Survival or creative- she would really like command blocks and also redstone contraptions. There was a time when she researched how to make the hidden doors and the rest of the Batfam attempt to bribe her for her wisdom

[blogger360ncislarules]

The second episode of The Gilded Age Season 3, titled “What the Papers Say,” dives deeper into the somewhat concepts of arranged marriage after introducing divorce in the first episode.

Those who tuned in for the Season 3 premiere last weekend will remember that Taissa Farmiga’s Gladys Russell ran away from home in the middle of the night as a rebellious response to her mother Bertha’s rumored arranging for The Duke of Buckingham to come back to their mansion. It turns out she ran away to the home of her latest suitor Billy Carlton (Matt Walker) and his mother Joan (Victoria Clark).

“For every generation, marriage is a crapshoot. Nowadays, we see much more of each other than they did in the 19th century. We live together more, and we sleep together, and we do all of these things, but at the end, you don’t really know the person you’ve married until you married them,” series creator Julian Fellowes told Deadline. “The modern world always likes to pretend that it deals with everything better than any previous generation, but you can’t take the luck element out of marriage.”

This season, Bertha has her eyes on the prize of an esteemed husband for her daughter, and not just anyone will do. Even though Gladys claims she loves Billy Carlton, a suitor she covertly met up with at the opera thanks to the secrecy of Mrs. Fish and Gladys’ brother Larry Russell (Harry Richardson), Bertha firmly rejects him as a potential husband for Gladys.

When Mr. George Russell (Morgan Spector) comes home from Morenci, Arizona where he is tending to railroad business, he is greeted with a heated discussion between mother, daughter and son about Gladys’ lack of agency in who she can marry. The railroad tycoon feels a bit more conflicted about where Gladys’ life could be headed, because he did promise her that she could marry for love.

Those who have watched the period drama since Season 1 may remember that Gladys also had high hopes for Tom Blyth’s Archie Baldwin, one of her suitors before she was even out in society, but it was her father who turned down the young man at the time through a twisted job offer to bribe him.

“I mean, arranged marriages were the norm in this period, and I mean even today, there are still places where people have arranged marriages, sometimes they work out,” Spector told Deadline. “People do fall in love with each other. Some of those marriages really last. Some of them are very happy. It’s not impossible that there can be joy and real fulfillment in those relationships.”

Even after Billy attempted to approach Mr. Russell to ask his blessing for a proposal to Gladys and he chickens out at the Young Women’s Christian Association benefit — hosted by Aurora Fayne (Kelli O’Hara) and her husband Charles who is desperate for a divorce, George states to his wife that the young man didn’t get a chance to present his argument. Bertha doubles down on her desire for her daughter’s future to be one of empowerment, influence and high status.

“A lot of the world still operates on the basis of arranged marriages. We always feel superior about that, but it’s not safe to feel superior about anything. I think that some aspects of it work better and some don’t, and that’s life. We take life as it comes and we take chances,” Fellowes said. “The first few years [of marriage], you get to know your wife or your husband, and sometimes it comes as a pleasant surprise, as aspects of their personality are much more interesting than you’d realize. Other times, it’s the reverse. I’m not sure there’s any kind of insurance you can take out against that. I think that’s how life is.” 

Unfortunately for Gladys, it looks as if her mother got what she wanted in a way because Billy showed up in the last minutes of Season 3 Episode 2 to call off their relationship and any potential engagement. With Hector, the Duke of Buckingham’s return at the end of the third season’s second episode — attorney in tow — only time will tell what path Gladys, still teary-eyed and looking like a deer in the headlights, ends up walking amidst the wishes of her mother. As Mr. Russell tells his daughter, he is just as surprised as she is at what this could signal.

[mrszatara]

My favorite hc is that Zatanna is basically every batfam member favorite aunt.

She met Dick when he was first adopted and he loved her show so much and even asked to play her assistant once, she teaches him a few tricks like escaping a shark thank, he called her to asked for advice when he went to his first date because Alfred and Bruce were useless. Dick attended to both her parents funeral and brought flowers to put on the grave.

She loved Jason enthusiasm and loved to pamper him with normal stuff that kids are suppose to do like take him to the movies and buy him ice cream. He was not into magic, but loved when she gifted him silly things that made Bruce annoyed. He was sweet enough to always ask her to dance in every Wayne Gala that she attended. When he came back from the dead she felt the change on his aura and was absolutely heartbroken by it, but she’s still the only one allowed to call him Jay and she always invites him to her shows with a sweet note, even though he never shows up he keeps it every single one.

Although she loves every single one of them, Tim is secretly her favorite (everyone always thinks Dick’s her favorite). She was stunned how he figured out everything about Batman as a kid, he was so curious about everything and made her so many questions all the time. She would often invite him to Shadowcrest, open her library so he could explore and have some tea. She also calls him a lot to ask how he’s doing, if he had been sleeping enough, threatening him to make his coffee taste like sour milk if he doesn’t take care of himself. He opened to her about his sexuality first and she made a sweet speech about how much she loved him and she was proud and if anyone messed with him she would hex them forever.

Damian was surprised that his brothers had such an affection with her, but quickly understood why. She charmed him slowly, bribing him with magical creatures until he finally opened up to her. He likes to spent time at Shadowcrest too (something that inspires Tim to be a bit jealous sometimes and she teases both of them for it), but hates visiting her on San Francisco. She likes to make him watch animated movies that he pretends to hate first and then talks about the whole day. They also try a lot of vegetarian recipes together, because Zatanna and Damian are the only two people Alfred allows to come close to his kitchen. If everything goes wrong the just order take out and take notes on how to do better next time. He also has her on speed dial in case something happens to Goliath.

She loves watching Cassandra’s ballet concerts. Zee is so sweet about her difficult with communicating, always leaving her comfortable. She often attempts to kidnap her to a girls day, since she never could it with the previous boy, but Cass is not very used to it. She asked for Zatanna’s help when she went on a date with Conner Kent.

She thinks Duke is the sweetest of them all. She had the privilege of reading some of the stuff he wrote and thinks he is a literary genius. He doesn’t understand much about magic, but she teach him a lot about control, how easy is to lose control when you have this kind of power at hand. She’s also very attentive to his school, always asking how he’s handling.

They annoy Bruce to the most to always invite her to perform on the Galas. They are not very good on picking gifts, but they always sent sweet birthday wishes to her. They asked Alfred to do her favorite meal when she’s coming over. They think the rumours about her and Bruce dating are funny, but also disgusting, but if the media asks them something they show support so Zatanna calls them angrily demanding they take it back. They are also very nosy on her life always asking who she’s dating and she always tells them to get a life. Whenever someone comments she is old enough to be Dick’s mom she threatens to hex them.

She is so proud of them, she loves them so much and they love her. SHE’S THEIR AUNT ZEE.

[julymusings]

if i may add on to this...i can see them doing it like a major extreme version of the b99 halloween heist where they can form teams or go solo trying to take him down. everyone takes it sooo seriously; they're planning and strategizing a year in advance to sabotage one another. babs has bugged all of WE to get a leg up on tim. tim has been secretly pavloving damian for a year so that whenever he smells a certain spice, his fight or flight is activated and he starts attacking jason. damian has been sneaking into duke's room every night and whispering "strategies" in his ear while he sleeps, so duke thinks he thought of them but really they land him in damian's traps. duke has offered cass his entire trust fund to be on his side, not knowing that three other siblings have done the same. steph has rubbed poison ivy into everyone's suits. there are betrayals. there are bones broken. there are bribes made in the millions.

bruce is just happy because their long term attempts at espionage and psychological warfare against him means they are willingly spending time with him <3

I think Bruce's kids should be allowed to hunt him for sport annually. They are legit trying to cripple/murder him, whereas he sees it as way to bond with his kids.

this is so funny— their little anti-stress day in a year full of crime-fighting, family drama, and dare i say, more family drama

i imagine them recreating the hunt from yellowjackets, where Bruce always gets the card that makes him a target anyway, and he is genuinely so excited. like. come on. all of his kids are so talented and unique, and some of them trained afar from him with different masters! it is so FUNNY and CHALLENGING for him. in the meanwhile, kids are having fun to, except they have little presentations in their heads of all times, when Bruce somehow wronged them during this year. it fuels them. but at least everyone is happy by the end of it!

[lilac-den]

Can we have a little more details on the Countess's personality? And, how much of siblings does the TSR ROs have in their new life? And what's their family background and the personality of their new parents and siblings?

Hrm...In regards with Sylphina: She's charming and knows how to speak appropriately. But if she is to be honest, she prefers the commonfolk over the nobles. She also has a small sense of mischief but due to her trying her best to be a proper lady, she doesn't get to see much (imagine chaotic!MC being a bad influence! The horror!)

Just for the record: There are same-sex parents and there is the option to adopt or use magic to conceive a child for them. The one who carries the baby throughout the pregnancy is known as 'the carrier' while the one who sired is known as 'the sire'.

TSR ROs' family are like so:

Maverick: Only child, mom and dad still alive and the same as his past life.

Rydigan: He has an older and younger sister, as well as two moms.

Ittania: She has two older siblings (1 sis and 1 bro) and a younger fraternal twin brother (by two minutes). She has two dads.

Enid: She has three older brothers (ALL VERY PROTECTIVE OF THEIR BABY SISTER - HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA >:D) and a dad. Her mom died after giving birth to Enid.

As for their family backgrounds:

Maverick: His parents (A man and woman) are...a real piece of work. 💀 For one, they're the reason why MC never got to hold a proper funeral for Maverick in the past life.

(He wrote in his will to have his funeral handled by MC and co. if he meets his untimely demise and his parents wanted to gain sympathy and attention from relatives and powerful 'allies'. So, his parents not only disregard their son's will but they even bribe the legal system to deny MC any possibility of taking Maverick's funeral rights back. In a dystopian world, MC is completely lost and had to proceed with the funeral without Maverick's corpse. His parents, after the funeral, proceed to either burn the body and dump the ashes in a garbage bag to throw away somewhere or just throw it into the ocean to save money.)

They also cheat. A lot. The mom is known to attempt gaslighting and lies to get her way and has rumours that she may or may not have flirted with a married man or two. It is unsure if they are true or not.

The dad is a prideful, boastful guy and isn't afraid to flaunt his wealth and fame. He's the main reason why the Whisht family name has somewhat lost its original glory. He is insanely jealous of his son for being a prodigy and isn't afraid to yell and scream at him. But in truth, he is afraid of his son and Maverick makes it clear to his father that no matter how many assassins or attempts he puts on his life, he will pay it back tenfold. His father had once attempted to cripple his son to teach him a lesson by hiring a thug to do so. Instead, the head of the thug was served to him on a silver platter during dinner time when it's just him and Maverick. Maverick's father doesn't make another attempt since. He also walks with a cane due to one of his legs being limp during a previous war.

Maverick is smart, even at a young age, and already knew his parents aren't normal (especially after he meets Rydigan, Ittania and Enid in the new life). He has lost any hope of familial love and couldn't care less for his parents. The only reason he would be working hard as a Duke is to succeed his father and be a better one than him, despite how much of a shackle the noble lineage is for him.

Rydigan: His carrier mom is the head of the royal king's army and has made sure to instil good moral codes in her children and teach them defensive swordsmanship. She is known to be quite stone-faced but her wife manages to read her expression and thoughts well.

Rydigan's sire mom is the head of the household and the one born with the Soleil name. She was once known as the belle of her era, the most exotic woman during her debutante. In her youth, she used to attract many admirers but she never reciprocated or lead any of them (which, ironically, make them want her more). It's only when she met her now-wife that her admirers back off.

Ittania: Her carrier dad is a warrior and the one who was born with the del Toro name. He has a pretty boisterous personality and isn't afraid to speak his mind (much to his husband's chagrin at times). He's also the one who trained all of his children in the way of the swords and is always worried for Ittania due to her reckless nature at times. He believes Ittania is more like him than his husband.

The sire dad is a tailor who married into the family. He is a quiet man and wears round-rimmed glasses. He thought all of the kids would take up swords instead of the simple life of a tailor until Ittania's twin brother found the outfits amazing and showed him his first sketch. Since then, Ittania's twin has become his apprentice, much to the sire dad's surprise and delight.

Enid: Her mother died upon Enid's birth and since then, Enid's father and her brothers have loved and cherished her. She loves them but holy moly do they get overprotective.

Enid's father is...well, the closest description I can give is that he's a snake, which fits the Caespes's coat of arms. He can be your wittiest ally or your most dangerous assailant. As far as anyone knows, he is a polite gentleman with the friendliest of smiles. Enid's father values family above all and isn't afraid to use any means to protect them.

I have yet to understand or look into the siblings, but I imagine you'll encounter them in future chapters. Hope this suffices your curiosity!

[layingwithlay]

Bruce trying to handle His wild child while working:

“DAMIAN PUT THE KNIFE DOWN! my apologies everyone, my son seems to be murderous today”.

Bruce holding Damian down while on video call, everyone can see Damian’s top of the head but nothing else and the struggle Bruce is going through with Dami biting him.

Bruce threatening Dami with his eyes when he sees Damian about to act up.

Bruce holding Damian’s hand, people coo at it thinking Bruce doesn’t want his son to get lost. But the truth is it’s to keep Dami from attacking someone that comes to close.

“Damian, Son I promise if you don’t act up I will buy you a pony”.

Yes, Bruce does bribe his son to do things, other wise he is ignored completely

Damian has like 8 pony’s now and a bunch of new pets.

“If you don’t cooperate with me in some way I will ground you till your 40”.

Damian is lucky he is cute or else Bruce would have sent him to boarding school by now.

Bruce keeps Dami close to him at Galas because his son always ends up attacking some poor person for touching him.

Bruce has to keep his eye on Damian anywhere no matter what he doesn’t trust his son not to embarrass him in some way.

Bruce has lock his door when his kids are home so they don’t come in fighting while he is in a meeting.

Usually Damian is doing something else when Bruce is in a meeting but as soon as someone comes over he is fighting.

Damian’s actually pretty quiet when no one’s around, although he makes up for it by annoying Bruce for things because Alfred ignores him completely.

“Father can You buy me more art supplies?”, “father do you have a pen”, it’s always father this or father that.

It drives Bruce crazy that he was tempted to lock Damian in his room with food and entertainment. But Alfred said that it would prison if he did that.

Bruce was so so so close.

Damian’s always in Bruce’s hair, especially when he is doing something. But as soon as Bruce calls for him to do something. Suddenly he is no where.

Bruce doesn’t have time to even do anything other than W.E, Batman and fathering so he has no actual social life outside of Galas he is forced to attend.

And then on top of all that, he is attempting to date Selina while Dami pouts and complain he should dare Talia.

The only thing good that came out of Talia is Damian, and Bruce knows that.

Damian then decided he wanted a sibling, a younger one. So now Bruce has to deal with Dami pressuring him for a baby sibling.

As much as Bruce would love Dami not to be lonely, and have a sibling he could big brother like his brother he isn’t ready for another one.

Especially a baby.

The face Dami Gave Bruce when he took in Duke.

“You had one job”.

Bruce is pretty content with the kids he has now. He has alot and Damian is just a finishing touch on his master piece.

Even if Damian wants one more sibling.

[yandereforme]

Part 2: Damian’s cooking adventures

TW: light violence(a single slap), mentions of harassment

Damian doesn’t understand Thomas’s obsession with you. You were uncouth and disrespectful. You were nothing special, yet Thomas insisted on eating with you during lunch, and taking assignments with you.

Still, Damian continued to go with Thomas, trying to figure out Thomas’s interest in you. It was not romantic, that much was obvious. (He had seen how Thomas was with potential romantic partners, and it was much less intense.)

So, when he was informed that, as part of a program to foster relationships between older and younger students, he had to learn a skill from and teach a skill to an older student whom he wasn’t close with (The teacher was trembling when he said that, obviously expecting Damian to be upset. Honestly, they think he would lose it over something so trivial.) he immediately decided on you.

You raise your eye brows a bit, but figure it’s easier to go along with it, and at least you were fairly certain Damian wouldn’t ask about your family.(neither of you are aware of how Duke set this assignment up, bribing a few teachers to make it happen. He knew that he needed to make sure the two of you were close before he started introducing you to the rest of the family. )

Eventually, you agree that he will teach you about the basics of fencing, and you will teach him how to cook a few different dishes.(luckily the assignment is only supposed to be two months.)

However, as time passes, Damian begins to notice just how different you are. You do not bristle at his comments, but don’t allow him to blatantly insult you. You treat him as an equal, something he has not experienced before. Even with his siblings, he is the younger and often is infantilized by them, or demonized. You, however, treat him as an equal, neither attempting to order him around nor mindlessly following his orders.

You even become knowledgeable about his topics, and there is a strange warmth in his chest as you start to get better at fencing. The excitement you get when he does meals perfectly doesn’t feel like you are looking down on him, but just feels like you are proud. (He feels himself struggling with himself over why he basks in your pride. He doesn’t even notice when you stop just talking about the project, and start just talking to each other.)

It comes to a head almost a week before the presentation, when you are late to a meet up in the library. Damian is fuming when he has to look for you, but the rage changes and grows when he notices the idiots crowding you.(He recognizes some of them as the harlots who throw themselves at him and Thomas during galas.)

On the other hand, you are being accosted by the Wayne family Fan club, a.k.a. A group that wants to marry one of the Waynes. They are pissed and keep talking about how you are stealing Duke and Damian’s attention and blah blah blah. You are barely paying attention. You had barely slept the last two nights, having back to back shifts at the diner and you just wanted to take a nap before classes started up again.

The slap catches everyone off guard. One of the girls, the one pinning you who you vaguely recognized as an heiress to a smaller fortune, slapped you across the face. Even the other girls go stock still, as you slowly raise your hand to your face.

Damian is furious, more so than he has ever been outside of patrol. He storms up to those pathetic harlots, and verbally starts ripping them to shreds. He only gets distracted when one of the girls, the one who slapped you, starts clinging to his arm. He’s about to backhand her himself, chivalry be damned, when you punch her across the face.

“He doesn’t like people touching him. You say you love him, but you do not know anything about him.” The tone sounds bored, but you are very angry. You definitely broke that girls nose and normally you would be panicked about the potential call to your family, but right now you are so angry you couldn’t care less.

Teachers soon come across the group. Luckily, the security footage shows that you weren’t at fault. They almost try to get you in trouble regardless, the girl’s mother shrieking about pressing charges, but Damian stands up for you, making the principal back down and the mother quiet. You are a bit surprised by that, but you aren’t going to complain.

Damian uses the Wayne name to not only get you both out Scott free, but also excused from classes. He takes you back to your apartment, with minimal directions from you.(all of your lessons were on school grounds, so this is the first time he goes to your apartment.)

He is completely unimpressed by the apartment, sneering a little at the cracks in the walls and the worn furniture. Still, he places you in your bed, as you are already half asleep at this point.

“Thanks Dami.” You murmur into your pillow, and he stops. You have never called him that. With Grayson, it is an unfortunately fond nickname, but with you it almost feels softer, as if you can’t fully say his name.

This is the final mail in the coffin for him becoming Yandere. He takes note of everything in your apartment, and put a few bugs in there so that he can listen in later. He quietly cooks one of your favorite meals that you taught him to cook and leaves it in your fridge.(he would have bought you groceries, but did not have access to the credit cards at the moment and knew that you despised that you saw as charity.)

Your presentation goes perfectly, with him serving a meal you taught him and the two of you engaging in a fencing match.(and if he went easier on you than he would on anyone else, tempted to let you win, but not wanting to look weak in front of the school, well that’s his business.)

Duke takes the both of you out for dinner as a celebration. You take a group photo, smiling broadly. Damian has it printed and puts it in a special hidden part of his room.

Duke is extremely pleased at how easily Damian got attached. Now, he just had to figure out which family member to introduce next, as he slowly eased you into the family.

Edit; sorry I haven’t posted in a while. School started and the world hit me like a bus. Plan to update all of my stories with the next two weeks, but please be patient because life is hell. I hope you all have a lovely day, and a few of you who remember, this is what the old poll was for. 🩷

P.S. Who are you all interested in seeing next?

Yan!Mafia Batfamily x reader

Part 1:Introduction and Duke

TW: Mentions of murder, mention of harassment

After Bruce’s parents died, Bruce began having the same mindset Red Hood/Jason had in canon; You can’t eradicate crime, but you can control it.

He soon built a persona of the bat, a mafia boss that everyone knew and feared/loved. This is a less moral Batman, who doesn’t personally kill, but has nothing against murder if it’s just.(Justice remains a part of his mission.)

This leads to a slightly more complicated bat family, with each of them playing a vital role as their counterparts, and Robin being the term used for shadowing the big bat, and learning the ropes. (If you want me to expand on that part, let me know$

No one knows the Wayne’s are the Batfam, but they all know they are vaguely connected, with many suspecting a relationship between Bruce and The Bat or The Bat being an illegitimate child of Thomas Wayne(though neither theory is voiced in earshot of the Wayne’s. Connected to the Bat or not, the Wayne family is still terrifying.)

Most people are pretty scared of the Waynes and the Bats like, fearing them and avoiding them 

You, on the other hand, could give less of a shit about them.

You are an orphan with good grades and even better computer skills. So while everyone believed you lived with your parents who traveled, and that you were 17 to your actual age of 13, you got away with living on your own and working a part time job. Working as a waitress wasn’t terrible, though you occasionally had to deal with Karens and harassment.

However, after a terrible night at work where a Karen poured her drink over you and a drunk idiot slapped your ass, you had run out of willingness to deal with bullshit. So, when a trust fund brat tried to make you move from your seat in the library, you refused, glaring at the blurry person standing next to you, ignoring the gasps from the students around you.

You expected him to yell at you, or let his companion, who was glaring hard at you, deal with you. Instead, he spoke briefly with his friend in a language you didn’t recognize. After a minute or so, they both sat down and quietly studied with you

Duke was charmed by your behavior. It has been a long time since anyone outside of the family had said no to him. The look of anger in your eyes was belied by pure exhaustion. He knew you had no clue who he was, and you were too tired to care.

You were interesting. So Duke didn’t let Damian yell at you or (attempt to) intimidate you.(while Damien was very intimidating when he had to be, Duke had a feeling you would not care in the slightest.)

So Duke convinced Damian to sit with him while he observed you studying, instead of discussing Bat business like they had planned. He had known of you, and Duke remembered you being in a few of his classes, but this stunt caught his interest too much to let you go.

You weren’t sure why, but apparently the Wayne kid (or Duke as he insisted you call him) seemed charmed by you basically telling him to fuck off. He started partnering with you in classes when he would normally work alone. He started eating his lunches with you in the library or in the auditorium, even having his brother join you on occasion.

You slowly got used to his presence, and even became begrudgingly fond of him and his little brother, even though his brother tended to stare at you more often than not. You hadn’t had very many friends for a long time, so maybe this was gonna be a good thing.

A big thing with Duke Thomas was that while he may seem calm, he is one of the most calculating of the Yanderes. He will always appear to be on your side, but unable to help you. He will become one of your closest confidence trusted friend , all without you realizing how much of a manipulative and possessive Yandere he is. He just knows that letting you have more of an illusion of power will help in the long run of making you like him.

So for now he’ll be content, letting you slowly come to him, similar to a feral cat. You’ll adore him soon enough. Come to think of it, you might make an excellent addition to the family.~

Edit: Life has been hitting me like a semi truck. I won’t go into too much detail, but I just ended a long-term relationship, had one of my grandparents die, and the other have a stroke. There’s a bunch of other stuff I also could mention, but I don’t wanna talk about it. Updates will be very sporadic for a long time I think. I’m sorry and I really hope you guys understand. Got enough motivation today to finally finish the first part of the Mafia au. Don’t know when I’ll be updating any of the other ones. I really hope you like this.

[redrobin-detective]

Just one single glimpse of relief

TW: OC death, death themes

“Hey,” Sydnee looked up at the sound of the voice. It was familiar, safe, and it stopped her tears for a moment. She can’t remember where she was or what she’d been doing. All she knew was that she was scared and upset and didn’t know what to do. It felt like she’d been crying forever when the voice appeared. “Hey there, it’s Phantom. Can I come closer?”

Sydnee gasped as the town hero, Phantom, approached her slowly. Syd was a bit of a nerd and she couldn’t get enough of those superhero movies. She always tuned in to Phantom’s fights on TV; he was as close as she’d get to a real life Superman or Captain Marvel. She’d never seen him up close before though. He was younger than he appeared on TV, not more than his early teens. Sydnee, almost 24, was hit by a wave of mortification over how they’d described the hunky, we-thought-he-was-older kid on Margarita Night. This day just got better and better, not that she remembered it.

“How are you doing?” Phantom asked quietly, floating near her but not getting too close. He was watching her warily but not unkindly. She saw how some folks treated him, he was probably worried she’d throw a shoe at him. “What’s your name?”

“Sydnee, with an extra e not a y. Uh Tanner, Sydnee Tanner,” she mumbled. Ugh why were words so hard. Her head felt fuzzy and very far away, she thinks she was going to start panicking again. What was she even so upset about? “I don’t know what’s going on. Where are we and what happened. I don’t- I don’t remember anything.”

“It’s okay,” he said soothingly, floating a little closer. The soft glow he emitted brightened up the dark place they were in. Was she in a collapsed tunnel? What had she been doing here? She’d never been claustrophobic but the debris and rubble of the place seemed to close in on her. “Hey, hey, just look at me.” She turned and met his kind eyes, soft and easy. “We’ll walk through it together. What is the last thing you remember?”

“I was late to work,” Syd said, the memory popping up before her. “I um work at the Donut Delights bakery in that strip mall next to the middle school. My cats had knocked over some of my houseplants in the night so I had to clean them up and was running behind. I open the store on Wednesdays - oh it’s Wednesday! - so I knew I’d be in trouble. But I made it, just barely. I was starting up the ovens when.” Syd furrowed her brow and took in the hero before her. The one who was almost never seen outside a fight. “There was a ghost attack, wasn’t there?”

“Welcome to Amity Park,” Phantom said grimly. “I’ve been here a couple times; the jalapeno bacon topped donuts are my favorite. My mom and sister buy them sometimes if they want to bribe me into doing something.”

“You weirdo, only crazy people eat that weird flavor,” Sydnee chuckled. “You have a family?”

“Of course, we all have a family out there somewhere. What about you?” He asked gently. There was something about the soft way he was talking to her, the way his eyes flickered around the dark like he was looking for something. He had news he didn’t want to tell her and she wasn’t ready to hear it. Not yet. Just a few more minutes of denial before she faced the revelation she couldn’t bear to touch yet.

“Yeah, mom and dad and two younger sibs. Folks divorced forever ago, I barely remember them actually being together. Mom is is living it up in Dubai working as a pastry chef in one of their fancy hotels. Dad’s an auto-mechanic down on Maple street, Duke’s Car Services. Pretty sure you got tossed through the window a year ago.”

“I’ve been tossed through many windows but I know the place you’re talking about. So a big family, any friends? Boyfriends? Girlfriends?”

“I have a boyfriend,” she continued on hastily, taking the distraction for what it was. “I like him, a lot and we’ve been dating since high school. Everyone says I should marry him and we’ve talked about it, casually, but I’ve never dated anyone else and wonder if I should see other people first. You know, test the waters before I settle down with my high school sweetheart like my folks did and look how they turned out.”

“Mhmm,” Phantom hummed nodding, encouraging her to continue.

“DeShawn is great though, he’s very supportive and sweet in his own kind of absentminded way. He’s got epilepsy real bad though, I have to drive him everywhere since he’s always at risk of a seizure. Annoying sometimes but its nice, you can learn a lot about a person from a conversation while you’re alone together.”

“Very true, I’m learning a lot now,” Phantom smiled. “What about your siblings?”

“I have a brother and a sister, Kennedy is finishing his sophomore year of college and Janelle will be a senior in high school. She was a surprise baby, one last attempt of my parents to reconcile before the big D. It didn’t help but I got a great sister out of it, she’s a real firecracker.”

“Janelle,” Phantom’s eyes lit up. “She’s the one always dying her hair. I see her in the hallways of Casper, she’s hard to miss. I think she draws too, she won an art award I think.”

“Yeah!” Sydnee said enthusiastically, she reached out and grabbed ahold of Phantom’s arm. It was cold but solid. It reminded her that she really couldn’t feel anything, nothing but him. “Yeah, I swear her hair is a new color every time I see her. It’s a dark purple now, it looks pretty good on her. She was a peachy orange for picture day last year. Mom called her up screaming when she saw the photos.”

“I thought it looked cool,” Phantom grinned, “not that I was there for picture day. Ghost attack, you know. My mom was upset with me too.” They laughed lightly for a minute before it gently petered off leaving them alone in the dark. Sydnee didn’t have any feeling in her toes, in any part of her. She felt light and disconnected and all over out of sorts. She was pretty sure she knew what had happened but she couldn’t face it yet. But talking to Phantom, it seemed a little easier.

“I remember the attack now,” Sydnee stated quietly. “It was a big ghost bear only it was the size of a pickup truck. It rammed into the store there was chaos and screaming. It was so loud, the screaming of the customers, the bear, building coming down on top of us...” her lips wobbled. “We’re still in the store, aren’t we? I haven’t wanted to turn around because... because I know my body is buried underneath the concrete back there.”

“Yeah,” Phantom breathed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t get here in time. Most everyone in the area got out but you and a few others in the store got trapped under the rubble. Mrs. McDaniels who lived on Eustis street and was the first woman in her family to go to college plus Eddie Drake who came down from Chicago to check out the ghost stuff with their boyfriend and was a tattoo artist.”

“Did you talk to them too?” She questioned in surprise.

“Briefly, Mrs. McDaniels didn’t stay long, just long enough to tell me, and I quote, “stop wasting time on her dead ass and get to the others.” She already passed on. Eddie, they didn’t take it well. We talked for a while and I think they need a little more time to accept it, see their loved ones first. I warned them that the longer they delay death, the harder it is and the more you lose yourself. You’re the last, all the way in the back of the store. When you’re ready, I’m going to bring your body out.”

“Thank you,” she whispered before breaking out into hysterical laughter. “God I bet I’m a wreck, I think I put my shirt on inside out I was in such a rush this morning,” she sniffled. “What do I do now, as a ghost? I don’t have to, like, attack people, do I?”

“No,” Phantom sighed. “Most ghosts are just normal people, no one else but other ghosts will see you and you’re not going to be strong enough to interact with the real world for a long, long time. You can stick around a bit if you want, watch over your family but it’s like I told Eddie, you forget things pretty quick. Or you can move on, that part I can’t help you with but I’ve helped a lot of others go that route and I’m told it’s easy.”

“Easy, then why haven’t you?” She questioned angrily, the full weight of the situation crashing over her. She shoved him and he floated back passively. “I’m a freaking ghost and you’re here talking to me like you’re my therapist or something. Who’s gonna take DeShawn to his appointments? Or praise my sister’s creative messes? Or badger Ken into picking major? My life is over and you think you can float there and lecture me about it being easy to move on!”

“I didn’t mean it that way,” Phantom soothed, scratching at the back of his neck. “I’m so sorry Sydnee, I wish I could turn back the clock an hour, two hours, and prevent this from happening but I can’t. I’ve tried to mess with time and it doesn’t end well for anyone. I just want, I just want what’s best for you now. You can stay or you can go but I want you to make the decision that you feel most comfortable with. That’s all I can do for you.”

“I think I’d be sad,” she said, crying again, “being able to see everyone but not talk to them, to watch them cry over me. I don’t want to forget them either.” Phantom watched her, easily and earnestly. “What made you choose to stay? Why didn’t you go?”

“I’m a little complicated but I can tell you, when I’ve done all I need to here, I’m not hanging around a second longer than I have to. Being a ghost has it’s perks but it’s also, it’s being stuck in a place you longer fit, watching the world go on without you.”

“Okay,” Syd hiccupped. “Okay, yeah okay.”

“Okay,” Phantom nodded. “Do you want me to leave?”

“No, please don’t,” she grabbed his hands again. “Please I don’t, I know I died alone but I don’t want to do... this alone. Please stay, ugh, calling you Phantom is weird sorry.”

“I don’t know if it’s any less weird but you can call me Danny,” Phantom, Danny, laughed. It was an ordinary name for a superhero but it fit. There was a special thrill in knowing the ghost boy’s name but it’s not like she was going to be around to tell anyone. It was scary, to think of not existing but also sort of comforting, like a long nap with nothing pressing to get up for.

“Can you tell them that I love them, in my place? I know it’s a lot and I’m sure you’re super busy saving the town and everything-”

"It’s not a problem. I’m sure they know but I’ll be happy to pass on the message,” he smiled and it made him look so young. For a second she was struck by how sad it was that she was relying on a kid a decade younger than her for support. But he was here and he was kind and he was what she needed right now. Maybe one day, he’d have his own person talking him through this last step. 

“Okay, Danny, thanks really. For talking, for staying. I’m scared but I, I think I’m ready.” She closed her eyes and squeezed his hands tightly. “Do you, will it hurt?”

“No,” he said, his voice warm despite his inherent chill. “No, Sydnee. No, the hurting is all over now. All you have left ahead of you is peace. Thank you for all that did, you’ll be missed.”

“I’ll see you on the other side. Goodbye.” The world faded to a pinprick, consumed by light. The last thing she saw before she went into it was a stranger’s smile. 

XxX

“Here’s the last,” Phantom said solemnly, delicately setting a broken body he’d carried out of the dilapidated building and on the sidewalk next to the others. “This is Sydnee Tanner, she was the only employee in the store at the time. She has cats at home who will need taking care of. Her dad works at Duke’s Car Services along with siblings and a boyfriend.”

“Don’t know how you know all that but thanks for getting these folks out,” Sheriff Newton sighed. “Damn shame. Keep up the good work kid, we’ll save the next ones for sure. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some rather unhappy news to break to several people.”

“Do you mind if I tag along? I have a few messages I need to pass on.”

[foilfreak]

Beauty and Her Beast: Chapter 4

Warning: This fic is rated NSFW and contains graphic depictions of things some people may find disturbing or alarming, including, but not limited to: violence, gore, unhealthy family relationships, Oedipus complexes, gratuitous amount of pornographic literature, ableist language, physical, mental, and emotional abuse, etc. If you are someone who does not enjoy fiction with these elements in them, then I suggest you refrain from reading this, because this fic will have all that, and probably a lot more. So, this is your first and final warning to turn around and go somewhere else if stuff like this just isn't your vibe, because from this point forward, your emotional wellbeing is in your own hands, and I will not be accepting blame if you disregarded my warnings and ended up reading something you didn't like. Idk why I feel compelled to write one of these despite this being Resident Evil fanfic, but I figured I'd cover my ass just in case.

(Link to ao3 version in comments below)

Upon returning to the surface again, Mother Miranda seems confused, but mostly relieved, that Salvatore did not show interest in lingering in the village any longer than necessary. Though Salvatore did end up needing to stay for one last brief conversation, in which he and Mother Miranda discussed various parts of Nadine’s file, as well as finalized the date and approximate time in which Salvatore could expect the villagers to arrive at the reservoir gate with his gift in tow.

2 days from now, was the final agreement, as it would ensure that Salvatore would be the first of the Lords to receive his gift, making up for the fact that he was the last of them to pick. It also permitted him the luxury of some spare time to prepare a new permanent living environment of some kind for his gift. Whatever the hell that was supposed to mean.

Regardless, Once their conversation finally concluded, Salvatore bid his beloved Mother a quick, but appropriately appreciative thank you and goodbye, before closing the large wooden door to the meeting room and trudging back out into the cold, harsh winter snow. Despite a lack of improvement in the weather since Salvatore’s initial journey into the village, the mutant man maintained a solid pace through the snowy paths, seemingly uninhibited by the forceful winds attempting to throw him from his course.

With little time remaining, Salvatore wanted to return to his reservoir as quickly as possible to begin making preparations; though, what exactly it was he was supposed to do in order to prepare for a tiny, beautiful, and apparently violent cadou-mutant woman to begin living in his reservoir with him, once again, Salvatore still had no idea.

Grimacing in frustration, the hooded man wracked his brain for something to do, some way for him to make a good “first” impression with his new gift when she finally arrives. Something that would catch her fancy and hopefully convince her that, despite his terrifying appearance, he wouldn’t harm her and merely wanted to be friends.

Well… technically speaking Salvatore wanted a great deal more than just friendship from the young woman, however given how low his chances are of ever achieving the former, the mutant man decided that he’d happily squash his vile and disgusting desires down deep within himself if it meant he’d gain at least something similar to a friendship with Nadine.

He’d been doing the same with Mother for all these years, so it wasn’t like it was going to be difficult… hopefully.

Upon returning to his reservoir finally, Salvatore retreated from the harsh weather, deciding that he’d likely have a much easier time cleaning if he waited the snowstorm out and got started in the morning, instead. Once the skies had cleared and the sun had just begun to peak over the mountaintop horizon however, Salvatore immediately set to work cleaning up the areas surrounding the reservoir.

It wasn’t until after several hours of diligent gathering and disposing of the numerous unsightly piles of rotting wood and garbage lying around, that the unusually bright and hopeful atmosphere surrounding the reservoir was rudely disrupted by a surprise visitor Salvatore would have never seen coming in a million years.

“HEY, FISHFACE, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU? I gotta talk to you about something, so hurry up and crawl out of your sewer system so we can get this over with, already” Karl’s rough and booming voice echoed out from somewhere within the reservoir.

Salvatore flinches in fearful surprise at the demanding voice, wondering what on earth could possibly have brought Karl, the notorious recluse of the family who never left his factory unless bribed or threatened, all the way out here to the reservoir. And to speak to HIM, on top of all that too.

Despite not feeling like subjecting himself to Karl’s recent tendency toward physical abuse disguised as “brotherly affection”, Salvatore sighs and swims his way toward his younger brother’s voice anyways, knowing that ignoring Karl would only prompt the younger man to actually enter the reservoir in search of him, which was the absolute last thing Salvatore needed right now.

“Mornin’, brother! It’s about fuckin’ time you answered the door. You were taking so long I was beginning to wonder if you’d finally decided to run away and live out the rest of your life as an actual fish, like I suggested to you at the last “family” meeting” Karl says bluntly, clad his characteristic attire of green sunglasses, a brown hat atop his head, a long tan trench coat covering his day clothes, various items strung around his neck, and large titanium hammer.

“H-hello, Karl... W-why is it th-that you’re h-here for?” Salvatore asks slowly, peering at the younger, but taller man from behind the only partially opened gate.

“Hey, hey, come on now, Sal, what’s with the cold welcome? Am I not allowed to visit my favorite older brother without a specific rhyme or reason. I think you’ll be surprised to know that I was actually already in the area, and wanted to stop by and see if you were in the mood for a chat. You know, like old times?” Karl says defensively, placing both his hands up as Salvatore narrows his eyes at the younger man.

Salvatore was a lot of things, but stupid most certainly wasn’t one of them, regardless of what other people thought. While it might be true that, when Karl was first introduced to the family as a child following his successful cadou mutation, they had something of a positive older-younger brother relationship that lasted a good many years into Karl’s adulthood, that relationship has been growing progressively shakier and unstable over the past few years, at least it has during the times Karl has acted like Salvatore wasn’t the only one to reach out and attempt to connect with the emotionally volatile, but secretly terrified young boy, when he first arrived.

Deep down, Salvatore still had something of a soft spot for Karl, a soft spot that he occasionally allowed himself to indulge in whenever Karl wasn’t acting like a royal asshole, but those moments of peace and solidarity between oldest and youngest brother had been few and far in between recently. Not to mention that Salvatore would be lying if he said he wasn’t growing increasingly more suspicious and distrustful of Karl and whatever secrets the younger man was hiding in that factory of his. He hadn’t the slightest idea what he could be up to, but something told Salvatore that Karl had more reason to be here than just pure coincidence.

“P-perhaps… what i-is it that you w-want to t-talk about?” Salvatore replies curtly, not wanting to just go along with whatever Karl wanted, but for some reason still willing to give the younger man a chance to prove himself.

Taking a brief moment to look over both his shoulders, Karl places the heavy end of his hammer on the ground and leans inward toward Salvatore, lowering his voice as he whispers, “You see your gift from Mother yet?”

This question took Salvatore by surprise, not expecting the gifts Mother Miranda had given them to be the reason why Karl was here.

“I… I h-have… why?” The disfigured man asks curiously, pushing the gate open a little further so that Karl, despite Salvatore’s earlier reservations toward the younger man, could squeeze his way inside.

Upon entering through the gate, Karl immediately takes 2 cigars out of his back pocket and lights the first one. “Curiosity mostly… but also cuz I think there’s more to this whole “gift” thing than Miranda wants us to believe,” the bespeckled man says, blowing a lungful of smoke out his nose as he offers Salvatore the second cigar. “You still smoke, old man?”

“I-I… I r-really shouldn’t” Salvatore says, turning his back toward Karl’s outstretched hand, even as the wonderfully woody scent fills his nose and his mouth begins to water.

“Oooooh, but something tells me you want to” Karl teases, sauntering over to the older man so that he could wave the fresh cigar in Salvatore’s face, chuckling in amusement when the fish mutant’s gaze locked onto and followed the unlit stick like a dog would a slab of meat.

“B-but it… M-Mother has s-said… m-many times… th-that she d-doesn’t like… doesn’t like when we s-smoke… because… uh, b-because...” Salvatore trails off, trying to remain strong for Mother Miranda, even as his self-control slowly continues to crack.

“Come on, lighten up a little bit, old man. It’s just one cigar. You smoked a pack of these things a day, like they were the only things keeping you going, both throughout my whole adolescence and, if what Duke says is to be trusted which we both know it is, well after I left for my factory, too. When the hell did you start being such a stick in the mud? No wonder I stopped hanging out with you, you’re like a fuckin’ parrot that repeats everything than goddamn woman says, it’s like I can’t escape her no matter where I fuckin’ go” Karl groans in a slightly childish tone of voice as he trudges forward to sit on one of the docks overlooking the calm water below.

Salvatore slowly moves to join him as he says, “S-she’s right th-though… it r-really isn’t good… f-for you… I smoked e-everyday for m-many years... an-and now I’m p-paying for my i-ignorance… Mother o-only nags at you… b-because she c-cares… and s-she’s always r-right… in the e-end...”

“Oh, fuck what Miranda says, I’m tired of that woman. Always telling us what to do and then thinking that pushing a couple of failed experiments onto us as “gifts” will make up for the fact that she’s disappearing off the face of the planet without a single trace and not telling us when she’ll be back. As far as I’m concerned, when Miranda’s not here, she’s not the boss of me. And the same goes for you, too” Karl says, roughly punching Salvatore in the shoulder.

“I-I don’t… I don’t think th-that’s how this w-works, Karl” Salvatore counters. “Even w-with Mother l-leaving us… f-for a t-time... we still h-have to make s-sure that th-things c-continue on… continue on as p-planned… or e-else we’ll really b-be in trouble… w-when she g-gets back.”

“Maybe,” Karl says thoughtfully, before taking another drag of his cigar. “I don’t know… I just have a sinking feeling that there’s something weird going on behind the scenes and these “gifts”, that she’s giving us, are nothing more than distractions to keep us entertained while she goes and does… whatever the fuck it is she plans on doing while she’s gone.”

Salvatore pauses for a moment, briefly remembering back to when Mother first told him that she’d be leaving the village to go “visit someone”, who she believed could be very important to their mission of reviving Mother’s long lost baby, Eva. Although he hadn’t thought very much of it at the time, the mutant man also remembers Mother saying something about how well Nadine would do at “keeping him occupied” until she finally returned, and maybe even after that, too. But why would Mother Miranda want or need him to be “occupied” when she got back? Wouldn’t she want to share her findings with him so they could work toward creating a vessel to revive Eva in? Wouldn’t she want to see and speak to him again after being away for so long?

Or maybe… could… could Karl actually be onto something here? Salvatore felt terrible doubting Mother Miranda, but he’d be lying if he said that Karl didn’t have a point about Mother’s behavior seeming odd, now that he was in the proper headspace to go back and analyze the memory properly, at least.

“B-but… if Mother h-has gone o-out of her w-way… to make sure that w-we won’t be l-lonely... w-while she’s away… isn’t th-that a… a good th-thing… doesn’t that m-mean she c-cares a-bout us... enough to… e-enough to do something l-like this?” Salvatore asks nervously, watching the younger man intently as he contemplates his response.

“I guess so, at least when you word it like that, it does. But something tells me there’s more to this than she’s led us to believe. She’s got something planned, and she’s definitely after something, and once she gets her hands on it, who the hell knows what’ll happen… whatever it is though, I doubt it’ll be very good, for any of us.”

“D-don’t say th-things l-like that… I-I’m sure M-Mother has a-a reason… a reason w-why she’s leaving… an-and if she d-doesn’t tell us w-what it is… b-before she leaves… th-then Im sure… I’m sure sh-she’ll tell u-us when she g-gets back… she’ll l-let us in o-on her p-plan… wh-when she’s ready… an-and then… once e-everything is… said a-and done… we c-can revive… r-revive Eva… and b-be a real f-family… a-at long l-last… isn’t th-that what w-we a-all want, after a-all… a f-family?” Salvatore asks, hoping this was doing something to ease the younger man’s clearly agitated mind.

What on earth it was that was causing so much turmoil as it flew around inside Karl’s head, Salvatore had no idea. But something about the bespectacled man’s unusually contemplative and concerned mood, coupled with the fact that he’d only punched Salvatore once since his arrival, was beginning to leave an acidic taste in the deformed man’s mouth.

Karl really and truly thought something was wrong, and the younger man’s continued insistence upon this fact was beginning to make Salvatore very very anxious.

Perhaps it was the unusually good and excited mood that Salvatore was in due to the near arrival of his gift, or maybe it was that soft spot for Karl I mentioned earlier, but regardless of the reason, Salvatore felt the odd need to help alleviate the younger man’s bad mood, just like he used to do for him back when Karl was still barely taller than his shoulder.

Mother Miranda certainly wouldn’t be pleased if she found out that Salvatore had broken his mandatory sobriety despite her explicit orders to avoid smoking so his experiment results wouldn't be hindered. That being said however, Miranda always seemed to want her 4 children to get along and be close, like real siblings, so Salvatore supposed that he could allow himself a break from his smoking break so long as, if Miranda did manage to find out somehow, he could get himself out of trouble by spinning it as a rare moment of sibling bonding between the oldest and youngest siblings, rather than the reality of the situation.

“I… I’ll t-take that cigar… if you’re n-not gonna smoke it… th-that is” Salvatore says, a small chuckle escaping him when Karl cheers in delight, practically throwing both the lighter and the cigar into the deformed man’s hands.

Salvatore’s first breath of the cigar is nothing short of heavenly once he finally lights it and takes a drag, and its moments like these when the mutant man finds himself secretly grateful that Karl hasn’t listened to a goddamn word Mother Miranda has said in nearly 4 decades.

A long period of silence passes as both brothers merely sit beside one another and secretly enjoy each other’s company.

“Miranda let me pick my gift first, so I didn’t get to see where the others went. Who did you end up with?” Karl asks, finally breaking the silence.

“T-the… the sh-short one,” Salvatore replies, “with b-blue skin, black h-hair, a-and, uh… oh, an-and white d-dots… all o-over her… l-like freckles… fins t-too”

“Oh ya, I remember that one. Gorgeous little thing, she was” Karl says, nodding his head in appreciation as a devilish smile spreads across his unshaven lips. “With quite the… voluptuous figure too, if I remember correctly.”

“I… well… I-I don’t know i-if… I d-didn’t... shut up...” Salvatore mumbles under his breath, taking a long drag from his cigar as Karl throws his head back laughing like a hyena at his older brother’s sudden bashfulness.

“Ah, come on, Sal, don’t be such a downer all the fuckin’ time, I’m just teasing. I know you still think about shit like that, too, even if you’ve managed to convince Alcina and everybody else that you’re just an innocent little follower who hasn’t had an independent, or dirty thought of his own since the cadou took hold. You used to be a fuckin’ doctor for crying out loud, and you’re still annoyingly the person Miranda goes to first whenever she has a new experiment in mind, cuz you’re smart AND she can trust you. You might look like you fell off the truck that was taking you and your fishy friends to market, but I’ve known you too long for that bullshit act of yours to work on me.”

“Act?” Salvatore asks, genuinely confused by what Karl means.

“You know, that stupid fuckin’ “moronic freak” act you do whenever Miranda’s around. The one where you act like you don’t know what the fuck is going on or what something is so that she’ll take pity on how stupid and childish you’re acting and give you more attention. It’s pathetic to watch and I’m gettin’ sick of seeing you do it all the time. Knock it off, you’re better than that.”

“I’ll… um… b-be sure not to… to m-make it s-seem as… uh… I’ll k-keep that in m-mind” Salvatore finally says, casting his gaze down to his pants for a moment, unsure how to feel about how… friendly and kind Karl was being all of a sudden. Salvatore knew Karl secretly cared about him, the brat does far too many conveniently nice things for him throughout the year for him not to, but hearing the younger man voice his surprisingly high opinion of him was definitely shocking, though still quite touching, all the while.

“W-which gift… d-did you end u-up… getting, Karl? I d-didn’t get t-the chance to… to s-see the others… M-Mother only showed me Nadi-er… my g-gift” Salvatore asks, deciding, at the last second, against using his gift’s real name lest Karl be given even more artillery to tease and riddle him with.

“Eh, just some tall dark haired broad. I think Miranda said something about her being Indian, or something along those lines.”

“O-oh… d-did Mother say a-anything about… whether she’s actually f-from here… o-or did she immigrate… f-from India?” Salvatore asks, tilting his head curiously as this new information about Karl’s gift piques his interest.

Karl stares at Salvatore with a look of confusion for a moment, his mouth opening and closing silently like he wanted to say something, but couldn’t find the words for it. Until, “Aren’t Indians from America?”

The sound of Salvatore’s right palm making firm and painful contact with the back of Karl’s head echoes across the reservoir almost as loudly as the following cry of pain from the man himself.

“OW! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?” Karl roars angrily, pushing himself to his feet while he rubs at the back of his head, hat lopsided and barely hanging on to his head and green glasses no longer perched upon his nose, likely sinking to the murky lake floor just below the docks they were sitting on.

“I d-didn’t spend… th-the better part o-of 15 years… p-pounding an education... i-into y-your th-thick head... for you t-to say… f-for you to b-be spouting dumb shit… l-like that” Salvatore growls in annoyance, eying the taller man with a look that even he wouldn’t dare argue against, at least not with Sal he wouldn’t.

It’s moments like these when Salvatore is very happy that Karl, for as strong and fearless as he is now as a fully grown adult, is still just a little bit afraid of him after all these years. Not because of anything bad or horrifically traumatic of course, especially considering how often Salvatore had gone out of his way to ensure Karl had the least traumatic upbringing he could possibly provide the young boy, given both their situations. As much as he hated to admit it, even Karl would agree that Salvatore had done a pretty decent job of not fucking him up anymore than he already was, which the younger man would secretly always be thankful for. However, even a person as naively patient and serving toward others as Salvatore had his breaking point, and all it took was one especially bad day, resulting in the one and only time Salvatore has ever left a mark upon the younger man’s skin, for Karl to realize that Salvatore was the last person in this godforsaken village he wanted to purposefully make an enemy out of.

Thankfully, their relationship never suffered negatively from that one-off event, but it did force the two to come to a mostly unspoken agreement that has remained present and active, if slightly ignored at certain times, from that point forward. Agreement or not however, Salvatore could never bring himself to harm Karl like that again, even if he wanted to, which was probably the main reason why Karl was still the most comfortable around him, even after all these years. It was a secret they shared between them, and them alone, and it would be one that he would cherish for the rest of his life, as Karl would secretly cherish the kindness and brotherly love Salvatore had treated him with for all these years. They were brothers, regardless of whether they got along or not, and nothing in the would world would be able to change that.

That being said however, Karl was about to be in for a very rude awakening if he thought he could just do and say whatever the hell he wanted around Salvatore without there being any consequences.

“‘A-aren’t Indians f-from A-America?’ G-good grief... I o-oughta throttle y-you for th-that one” Salvatore grumbles through another drag of his cigar, shaking his head in utter disbelief and disappointment. Karl was so intelligent, and yet he could be so stupid sometimes that it physically hurt Salvatore to think about.

“But there ARE Indians in America, aren’t there? I know I’m not wrong here” Karl defends aggressively, his anger quickly giving way to embarrassment when Salvatore raises his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose in frustration and annoyance.

“Th-they’re called N-Native Americans... f-first of all... they w-were only c-called I-Indians... b-because the g-guy... the moron who f-first sailed t-to the A-Americas... w-was actually... looking for I-India... the r-real India... b-but back th-then... you h-had to go all th-the way... a-around Africa... to g-get there... but he th-thought h-he could do... d-do it a d-different w-way... he thought h-he could f-find India... by s-sailing straight f-from S-Spain... and g-going around the whole w-world... until h-he came b-back around... an-and hit Asia” Salvatore explained slowly, hoping to maintain his delusion that Karl had, in fact, paid attention to at least some of the lessons he gave the boy throughout their time together, even if it wasn’t actually true.

“But he didn’t. He hit the Americas and started calling the locals Indians cuz the guy, what’s-his-face... Columbine... Columbus... whatever, was dumb enough to think he was in India and not a totally different landmass” Karl finishes, looking like he at least remembered hearing about his information before, which was good enough for Salvatore.

Despite the grimace still etched onto his face, Karl groans in annoyed defeat and slinks back down to sit next to Salvatore, still cradling the back of his head.

“Anyways, as i was saying before I was so rudely interrupted with a goddamn history lesson-”

“You w-want another s-smack?” Salvatore threatens, mildly amused when Karl pauses his dramatic retelling, before sliding just a few inches to the right, away from Salvatore’s preferred disciplining hand.

Coughing slightly, Karl continues. “Anyways… going back to my “finding the silver lining” idea, or whatever the fuck its called. This whole “gift” thing might actually work out kinda nice for me in the long run, especially since the one I got looked like she was strong and could handle herself in a rough and tumble environment. If she proves herself, I’m planning on turning her into my assistant” Karl explains casually. “As much as I hate working with other people, normally, I’ve got some projects that would really benefit from a second pair of hands, so I’m attempting to make a “silver lining” moment out of this bullshit “gift” thing Miranda’s tryin to do and just hope and pray that things work out in my favor. Though, to be fair, if things with this girl don’t go well, I could always use her body for a cool idea I’ve had cooked up for a while now. What about you? What are you planning on doing with your new little toy once it finally arrives?”

Salvatore merely shrugs his shoulders. “It w-would be nice… i-if we c-could be f-friends… somehow… but…”

“Ya… you’re not exactly working with the latest and greatest set up, huh? Even a mutant girl might need a little bit to get adjusted to a face like that” Karl says.

“That’s c-certainly one way o-of p-putting it” Salvatore replies dejectedly.

Karl flinches slightly, which surprises Salvatore, since the younger man has a habit of caring very little for how his words affect those around him. Why on earth was he being so considerate, all of a sudden?

“Look, uh… what I meant to say was that… ok, so maybe you’re not like, the best looking guy ever, but like…” Karl stammers and stutters, trying desperately to figure out what he wants to say but seemingly coming up short every time.

Salvatore narrows his eyes again, suspicion returning. “You’re h-hiding something f-from me… w-what are you a-after, Karl?” Salvatore asks seriously, fixing the younger man with a stern look that he knows Karl recognizes.

“Hey, don’t you give me that fuckin’ look. I am too fuckin’ old for you to be looking at me like that, what am I, 12?” Karl asks.

“You c-certainly act l-like it… most of th-the time” Salvatore grumbles under his breath.

Karl clearly heard him, but knew better than to argue with the water not even a foot below where the two were currently sitting, his sunglasses having already taken a nice little dive as punishment for his big mouth. Salvatore might have only agreed to speak with Karl because the latter had demanded it, but they were still very much in Salvatore’s territory, and it wasn’t even a question of who had the topographical advantage should an “argument” actually break out between them.

Karl is strong, nobody can deny that. But Salvatore has the home advantage, and they both know it.

After a moment of tense staring, Karl finally breaks first, sighing heavily before tossing his finished cigar cap into the water below them, a crime Salvatore briefly contemplates knocking the younger man in for, before deciding against it, knowing, with his luck, that it would only come back to bite him in the ass later.

“Alright look,” Karl finally says, a look of frustrated determination on his face, “I don’t know what Miranda really has planned past her whole “get a suitable vessel for Eva” obsession, or what she’s really after on this mission of hers… but something about this whole situation going on recently just doesn’t feel right to me, and I think we need to do something about it before something bad happens and we all somehow end up dead. Now, I'm not 100% sure why I’m talking about this with the head of Miranda’s fuckin’ fanclub, but considering what my other 2 options were it wasn’t like I had much of a damn choice. My only saving grace right now is the fact that you’ll at least occasionally listen to fuckin’ reason, given your gaping maw can be yanked from Miranda’s tit long enough to hear me out, that is. It’s certainly better than my chances with Lady Super-sized Bitch and Crazy Psycho Doll, over there.”

“Are you s-sure you’re n-not just being p-paranoid?” Salvatore asks slowly, not wanting to offend Karl by outright stating he didn’t believe the younger man’s hunch, but also trying to figure out if Karl actually has something to be concerned about, or if he’s just looking for an excuse to badmouth Miranda.

“No, no no no, don’t you do this to me too, Sal” Karl begs in frustration. “You can go about the rest of your life loving the absolute shit out of that crazy woman if you want to and I won’t say a goddamn thing about it, but I need you to promise me, and I mean promise me, that if you see or hear something weird regarding Miranda and this little “trip” she’s about to go on, you come tell me so that we can at least make sure our own asses are covered when shit hits the fan.”

“Well… I-I uh…”

“Come on, Sal. None of these psychotic assholes have ever had my back like you, and that’s exactly the reason why I’m telling you all this” Karl says honestly, catching Salvatore off guard with the oddly familiar wording.

“I know I can be a royal fucking pain in the ass most of the time and that I’m not always the… nicest to you… even though you did kinda do... a bit for me here and there when I was a little tyke... But none of that matters now, because even if Miranda isn’t trying to hide something from us, with the two of us banded together, we could do whatever the hell we wanted while she’s gone, and neither of the other shitheads would be able to tell us otherwise. What do you say, Sal? Come on, you and me, together, just like when I was a kid, remember?” Karl asked excitedly, his eyes shimmering in boyish glee as he spouts off all the things they’d be able to get away with when Miranda finally left, the torment they’d be able to unleash upon Alcina being a particular favorite of Karl’s, it would seem.

Salvatore remained silent for a moment, contemplating the deal he’d just been given.

It’s… not a terrible deal, at least compared to some of the previous deals Salvatore has been offered in the past. It wasn’t like him agreeing to “ally” himself with Karl was a direct declaration of war against Mother Miranda or anything like that, merely a mutual effort that would guarantee safety for both him and Karl should Mother’s plan not go exactly as she wanted, which scientific experiments were known to do. Not to mention that giving Alcina a good messing with did sound like quite a bit of fun.

Maybe… maybe Karl was right. Maybe Salvatore was being a bit too much of a stick in the mud. It was just Karl after all, who Salvatore had practically raised, starting from the boy’s arrival into the family at 6 years old and more or less up until his factory was completed just after his 22nd birthday. Karl could certainly be a handful for even the most powerful individuals, but even on his worst days, he always found some backwards, convoluted way to apologize for his behavior.

“W-well… I-I’m not s-sure… I d-don’t know how I f-feel about… about d-doing things th-that Mother… wouldn’t a-approve of… just b-because sh-she’s gone...”

“But...” Karl continued for him.

“B-but I suppose… k-keeping each other u-updated… when we f-find… or h-hear s-something weird is… wouldn’t be… wouldn’t be th-the worst idea… in th-the world… e-even if it just t-turns out that… we w-were just being p-paranoid.”

“Excellent! That’s just what I was hoping to hear” Karl says triumphantly, standing up.

“A-are you l-leaving, already?”

“Ya” Karl affirms, “I’ve got work to do at the factory, and based on the look of things here, you were busy with a project of your own it looks like.”

Salvatore nods, pocketing his freshly finished cigar cap for later, proper, disposal. “I c-can’t even remember… the l-last time I… p-properly cleaned this p-place… it l-looks so m-much nicer… even w-without being f-fully finished…”

“Good for you. My own property could probably do with a good cleaning of its own now that you mention it. If nothing else though, I’m sure your new little lady friend will appreciate that you picked up the place for her arrival.”

“Y-you think s-so?” Salvatore asks.

Karl shrugs his shoulders. “Who knows with chicks, they’re unpredictable, but I suppose it’s possible. Then again, maybe not considering who you ended up with. I don’t know the full story or anything like that, but based on what I heard from Miranda, that blue bitch you went with was the craziest one of them all. Practically tore her pod apart the first time Miranda tried to put her in it, and caused all sorts of other damage throughout her mutation phase too, not that I blame the poor girl. I’d tear that whole lab right out from under the surface and set it ablaze if I could. Going back down there after so many years… I was puking like you for the rest of the fuckin’ day when I finally got out of that hellhole. Stomach still feels a little nauseous if I’m being honest...”

“I-I’m sorry… to h-hear that” Salvatore says, though Karl is quick to brush him off.

“Eh, don’t worry about it. I’m a big boy and I can handle myself. But do we have a deal? Keep each other in the loop whenever we hear anything… strange or abnormal about Mother Miranda or her special little mission?”

Salvatore pauses for a moment, thinking one last time about whether this was a good idea, before finally shrugging his shoulders and nodding. “Y-yes, we h-have a deal… b-but just remember something, Karl… 40 years d-didnt do… nearly as m-much for your p-poker face as i-it did for your s-smart mouth. If I c-catch you lying to m-me-”

“Ya, ya, ya, you’ll chop up my body and toss my remains in the lake to feed the fishes, I’ve heard that one a million times before” Karl interrupts. “Don’t worry, Sal, if I was planning on lying to you at any point throughout this process, you’d have already caught me by now. Even I know better than to try pulling a fast one over the walking fuckin’ lie detector.”

“I’m h-holding you to th-that, Karl” Salvatore calls over his shoulder as the younger man stands and begins heading toward the gate to return to his factory, chuckling lightly when Karl returns his warning with a middle finger.

“Take it easy, old man. And let me know how that crazy fish bitch you ended up with turns out. If all else fails I’ll turn her into a nice stuffed pillow for you” the bespeckled man says, throwing his head back in laughter as though he’d told a funny joke, before adding, “And I’d better get my sunglasses back within the week, or else I’m draining the whole fucking reservoir so I can find them myself. Don’t think I won’t do it, old man.”

Salvatore merely returns the middle finger, a response that Karl seems to appreciate, if the wolfish howl of laughter the younger man let's out says anything, at least.

‘Cheeky brat. Always plotting something’ Salvatore thinks fondly to himself as he slips back into the water to continue cleaning the reservoir, quickly grabbing the green sunglasses that had sunk to the bottom and pocketing them to return to Karl later. He pauses for a moment when a thought crosses his mind.

Within the past 24 hours, both Mother Miranda and Karl had been… unusually kind and affectionate toward Salvatore, which pleased but also confused the twisted man.

Karl was easy enough to explain away, the younger man has been flip flopping between periods where he likes and spends time with Salvatore, and periods where he’d sooner set himself on fire than be in the same room as his older brother, since the day they met, so as far as Salvatore was concerned, Karl’s behavior was hardly breaking news, though perhaps a bit surprising given everything going on with Mother’s gifts. Mother Miranda, however, was a different story.

Usually more distant and hands-off in her parenting ways, Miranda had been uncharacteristically affectionate toward the disfigured man the night before, going as far as to openly praise Salvatore for all his hard work and even hold him without being asked to. It had been such a wonderful experience at the time and yet, the more Salvatore thought about it, the stranger and stranger the behavior seemed, especially now that Karl had confronted him.

Speaking of Karl… Mother seemed quite upset with him when she spoke of him the night before. Going as far as to badmouth him specifically, calling him a ‘conniving little snake’, despite the younger man usually being her favorite by a country mile. Had Karl done something to incur Mother’s wrath? Is that why Karl came all the way over here to make that deal with him? Is he trying to rally the 4 lords to rebel against Mother Miranda?

No... No, no no no, that couldn’t be true, there’s no way.

Even Karl, for all his incredible intellect and hunger for power, was too afraid of Mother Miranda to ever try anything as drastic as that. That being said however, even though Salvatore doubted that Karl would ever try to rebel against Mother Miranda, it did seem like the younger man was trying very hard to get Salvatore onto his side for some reason. In fact, both Karl AND Mother Miranda appeared to be trying to sway the eldest Lord in their favor, though for what reason, he still had no idea.

It was definitely something that made Salvatore slightly wary of the both of them, though.

There’s nothing in this world that Salvatore hates more than doubting his beloved Mother, but even he couldn’t write this oddity of a situation off as a mere one-off incident or sudden change of Miranda’s tune. Mother has been acting very strangely recently, doing things she wouldn’t normally do and acting overly affectionate as if to try and throw everyone off her tracks, and the longer Salvatore thought about it, the more he couldn’t help but wonder, as painful as it was to admit, if maybe Karl was actually onto something.

Logically, he knows that Karl is just being Karl, looking to stir up some trouble for his own, and supposedly Salvatore’s, amusement, and that Mother Miranda is likely just trying to enjoy the time she has left with her children before she leaves on her mission. However, something in the back of Salvatore’s mind can’t help but wonder if maybe there’s more going on than he’s been led to believe by either of them. And as if this situation couldn’t get any more confusing for the deformed man, now his overly anxious and analytical mind was beginning to understand what Karl meant when he said there was something strange going on, no matter how much the rest of him practically screamed to just listen to Miranda like he always has.

Shaking his head of his scrambled thoughts and turning his focus back to his work, Salvatore decides that the best thing he can do right now is keep an ear to the ground on both Mother Miranda AND Karl, just to be fair. He still isn't sure if he plans on being 100% honest with Karl regarding their deal, but he supposes that maintaining a good relationship with the younger man wouldn’t hurt in the event he turned out to be right and Mother’s plan backfired on all of them.

Besides, if Karl did turn out to be right, and Salvatore was ready for if things took a bad turn, he could still be there to rescue Mother Miranda and ensure she’s brought to safety along with them. He’ll have successfully fulfilled his family duties to both Karl and Mother Miranda, without ever having to actually choose which side he was definitively on. A perfect plan if the mutant man says so himself. Now the only thing left to do between now and whenever things started getting interesting was work on the reservoir and wait for his gift to finally arrive, his mood regarding this whole situation greatly improved thanks to Karl’s visit.

Hopefully, if things went well, he’d have some exciting news to tell the younger man the next time they met up.

Maybe he’d even have a new friend to introduce.

[hiccanna-tidbits]

okay, okay but hear me out!

Hiccanna, Moanida and Jackunzel (and maybe someone else if u want) going on a holiday trip together (it could be sea or lake or just swimming pool).

And that three couples playing "chicken fight game"~ When u have to sit on partner shoulder or ridding piggy-back and knock down or separate the other couple!

sksksks just imagine the fun and the chaos!! hahaha

Okay SO I recently watched Palm Springs so I’m just imagining The Gang going to like…a fancy pool resort in like Arizona??? SURE LET’S GO WITH THAT

I’m imagining the only resort the gang could afford to stay at is someplace out in the middle of Arizona or something

It takes a LOT of persuading to get Jack to go, because he haaaaates deserts. Rapunzel basically has to beg. Moana finally managed to bribe him with really good homemade ice slushies. (She’s used to making smoothies for Merida, so how hard can slushies be??? Just throw in some ice!)

Rapunzel offers to help Moana with the slushies, since she gave Jack SO many puppy dog eyes to get him to come. Since they’ve got two people working on them, they’re REALLY good slushies. Jack approves.

Anna also tries to convince Elsa to go, but the perpetually-single Elsa is just like “Um, deserts? Sunburns? Being indefinitely stuck with gross couples doing gross couple stuff?!? Yeah no thank you”

Hiccup tries to wake everyone up at like 6 am to go hiking because "that's when the desert iguanas are out guys!!! C'mon, we have to go!!!" Anna is only persuaded to go after Hiccup makes her coffee--she really wants to make her bf happy, but also mornings can suck her dick. Rapunzel is more than happy to go, because she loves mornings anyways!!! And oh my god, IGUANAS!!! Jack, Merida, and Moana are like "oh FUCK no" and put the pillow back over their head, shoo Hiccup away, and go back to sleep.

On their hike, Hiccup just goes "!!!!!!!" about every reptile he sees. Snake, lizard, horny toad, literally anything with scales will send the boy into an excited frenzy. Rapunzel has similar reactions. Anna could not love both of them more.

At one point, they stumble across a gila monster sunbathing, and Rapunzel is overtaken with the unwavering desire to adopt him. She gets Hiccup on board, and he tries to lure the lizard over with a dusty piece of a snake carcass he found (Anna tried to tell him he really shouldn't touch that, but he was not to be swayed and Anna ended up figuring he could just wash his hands really well when they got back). Anna finds herself in the unusual position of having to be the Voice of Reason, having to be like “hey uh I think this might be illegal and stuff??? Also aren't they poisonous???”

(I know what you're thinking. Bold of you to assume Anna knows the difference between poisonous and venomous.)

Rapunzel literally CANNOT stop gushing to Jack about all the wildlife she saw when she gets back! Jackrabbits! Kangaroo rats! Roadrunners! Peccaries! Centipedes! Jack has only mild to moderate interest in desert ecology, but loves hearing his gf gush so he listens attentively anyways. 

Anna and Rapunzel definitely hit up the gift shops in the resort town at some point, and go ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT HOGWILD buying gifts for everyone. They probably max out their credit cards. It's embarrassing, really. But Anna gets Hiccup an absolute shitton of those little wall lizard things and he nearly cries tears of joy when he sees them, so it's all worth it, really.

Moana will not leave the pool like. The entire time. The girl is just obsessed with being in the water, honestly. She gets restless, though, and can't just stand in the pool and vibe--she needs to constantly be moving and swimming around or she'll explode. Merida is more than happy to indulge her by hanging out in the poor with her, but Merida is also constantly challenging her to swim races--a very dumb idea, considering Moana is on the high school swim team and water polo team. Merida, naturally, is an extremely sore loser and is not above excessive pouting, splashing, yelling in angry Scottish, and dunking her girlfriend in revenge. It's at least entertaining for all of their friends to watch.

Jack keeps fucking taking huge buckets of ice from the ice machine and dumping them in the pool. At first he only does this because he keeps griping about the pool not being cold enough (this boy will accept nothing less than sitting in the goddamn arctic ocean), but after her figures out that it pisses off his friends, he takes to pouring said ice directly over their heads. Merida has threatened to murder him several times for this.

Hiccup and Anna's main pool activity is just lazing around on their pool floaties (Anna has a duck one, Hicccup has a dragon one because obviously), sipping cocktails, and just generally vibing. Through some ungodly mixture of pure charisma and a fake ID that Rapunzel helped photoshop, Jack manages to talk his way into getting the whole group access to alcohol. Hiccup is a sangria or Moscow Mule kinda guy while Anna usually gets a Pina Colada or a Sex on the Beach (she's aspec, so she literally will not stop joking about the irony of this). Merida makes a game out of attempting to tip over their floaties and dunk them. Jack, chaos gremlin that he is, puts aside his usual rivalry with Merida to join in. They have a surprisingly strong dunking alliance.

Hiccup and Anna try to form a syndicate of their own, and try to lounge on the same floatie so that they can protect each other while fighting off Jack and Merida together. Unfortunately neither of their floaties were made to hold 2 peoples' weight, so the one they're on ends up tipping over, spilling their cocktails everywhere and dunking them anyways. Jack and Merida consider this a Win By Default.

Moana of course loops everyone into playing water polo at some point. Unfortunately some idiot decided it would be a good idea to let Merida of all people pick the teams, which means of course that they are incredibly rigged. It's Moana, Merida and Anna vs. Jack, Rapunzel, and Hiccup, so basically The Jocks vs. The Nerds (although admittedly Anna is more of a softcore jock--she's nowhere near on Moana or Merida's level, but she's still more naturally athletic than Hiccup, Rapunzel, or Jack). Naturally, Jock Team absolutely whoops Nerd Team's ass. Jack gets salty and demands a rematch. ...Jock Team kicks Nerd Team's ass again.

Throughout all of this, no one thinks to just...rearrange the teams a little. Merida was counting on this. All according to plan.

In the titular chicken game (yes, I remembered, don't worry!), it's Merida on Moana's shoulders (Moana swims and has a lot of upper body strength, what can I say?), Hiccup on Anna's shoulders (I mean...Hiccup's a twig, and Anna HAS to have a fair amount of upper body strength from throwing busts around and punching men off boats and such), and Punz on Jack's shoulders (Jack's pretty lithe and good at keeping his balance while jumping around, so he's their best candidate for not just falling over).

Jack and Rapunzel actually manage to stay in the game longer than anyone expects--their primary strategy is “be good at dodging and staying out of the way while Merida and Hiccup duke it out.” And it works! As limber as Hiccup is, Anna's not nearly as coordinated as Jack and is no match for Moana's sturdy footing. Also, neither Anna nor Hiccup are prepared for how goddamn ruthless and determined to win Merida is. Even though they really, really should have been. I mean...have you met Merida???

When it comes down to Merida-Moana and Rapunzel-Jack, Mer feels a little bad for having to go up against Pure Sweet Punzie. Unfortunately, Rapunzel turns out to be a very hardcore fighter when she puts her mind to it, and Merida is much more evenly matched than she initially thought and realizes she must use her Full Power. It definitely helps her snap out of Going Soft when Jack starts brutally roasting Merida in particular (as per usual). Merida gets a rage-fueled Second Wave, and finally manages to knock Rapunzel over in one foul swoop. Merida and Moana are victorious!

Moana and Merida basically always shower together after a day at the pool. They claim it's because they both know how to handle curly hair in chlorine, and just like to wash each other's hair, but the rest of the gang is pretty sure that's not all that's going on in there.

One day, Anna hits up the resort town alone to buy some kind of secret gifts for her friends with what little money she has left (this girl seriously has no chill when it comes to buying presents).  She goes past this huge, fancy ice cream shop and she's like “!!!! OMG!!! I'm gonna surprise all my buddies with pints of their faves!!!” She just gets super hyped and buys everyone ice cream, getting so caught up in the thrill of it that she forgets that she'll have to like. Drive all this back all the way back to the resort in the rental car. In like. You know. 110+ degree weather.

By the time she gets back to the resort, the ice cream is, of course, goop. Poor Anna, feeling incredibly dumb and like an utter failure of a friend, just kind of bursts into tears. Like damn. This is too much. She was gonna make all her pals so happy, and all for naught! Jack just kinda shrugs and throws all the melted ice cream cartons in the freezer anyways. Once they're (partially) re-frozen, Rapunzel and Moana make slushies with them. They actually come out pretty decent. Anna is substantially cheered up.

Moana prepares some tropical fruit platters for everyone to snack on. Rapunzel tries to “improve” them by adding chocolate sauce and nutella to half of them. Sometimes it works (I mean...bananas and strawberries with chocolate and/or nutella is pretty solid). Other times it just tastes...very weird. Merida gest frustrated and yells at Rapunzel for “ruining all of her girlfriend's good mangoes.”

Jack just thinks this whole thing is so funny, and decides to swap the chocolate sauce with barbecue sauce to cause further chaos. Absolute mayhem ensures. Everyone has a bad time. Except for Anna, who apparently is just a freak who enjoys eating pineapple slices dipped in barbecue sauce.

At some point, Merida gets really drunk on appletinis or some shit and signs the entire group up for a local archery competition. Much to everyone's chagrin, it's no refunds. Naturally, basically everyone sans Merida does terrible. Rapunzel and Hiccup very nearly shoot themselves, while Jack and Anna come very close to  accidentally shooting a group of referees (although Jack might have done this on purpose). Moana gets the farthest, if only because Merida's taught her how to shoot a bow at some point. Merida actually ends up winning--although unfortunately, the prize is $20 and a very cheap plastic trophy (which Merida STILL manages to find a way to break before the trip is even over).

The rest of the group is much more amicable to the concept of going on hikes when said hikes are in the evening. Hiccup and Rapunzel are still excitedly chattering about the local ecosystems the entire time, and Jack and Anna are just kind of looking at their nerdy SOs like “<3 <3 <3″ Moana and Merida, meanwhile, are just kinda vibing in the back, passively listening in and watching the desert sunset.

Rapunzel manages to capture Mer and Mo's interest and gets them to participate more with geology, of all things. Merida just thinks rocks are cool (especially when they can be thrown at people bothering her!), while Moana likes learning about the physical history of places--how water can carve out landscapes, and all that. Hiccup and Jack just kind of exchange a look like “I had no idea that they were into rocks, but...the more you know, I guess???”

Jack makes fun of every reptile they see, mainly to piss Hiccup off. Unfortunately it has the opposite effect, and Hiccup can't help but be entertained--mainly because Jack's insults are so weirdly specific and over-the-top that they loop around to being hilarious. Seriously, he keeps saying shit like “Those are the lamest scales I've ever seen. Absolutely drab, and not nearly shiny enough to prove that nature is beautiful. 0/10.” and “Ohhhh, this fucking rattlesnake think's he's so scary, with his dumb percussion instrument tail!!! I could be more intimidating with a mean look and a large pair of maracas!”

At some point, a bunch of tourists riding donkeys pass them. Anna, Rapunzel, and Merida just absolutely lose their shit fangirling over how cute the donkeys are, thus exposing all three of them as the unabashed Horse Girls they are. Hiccup, Jack, and Moana find this extremely amusing, and definitely aren't above teasing their girlfriends about it. Hiccup asks if next time they take a couples' vacation, the Horse Gang (as Moana insists on nicknaming them) would like to go to a ranch instead.

Anna gets like. Obsessed with palm trees. Like they're just so pretty and exotic and tropical!!! OMG!!! And they definitely don't have them wherever the gang is from in this AU. (Also if griping about Elsa not having "tropical powers" is anything to go by, she DOES canonically like the tropics!) She has to take a picture of like...every palm tree on her phone. And considering the gang is in Arizona, that means Anna is stopping to take a picture like...every 2 minutes. Rapunzel catches onto the fact that Anna likes them, and paints her a picture with some when Punz has the time. Anna definitely cries when she sees it. Hiccup can't do nearly that good, but he does buy her some little plastic figurine ones in a gift shop that she can put in her room. Anna also cries about this. She just cries whenever any of her friends indulge her random fixation on palm trees. Surely she doesn't deserve such niceties!!!

Rapunzel is just. In love with the desert landscape tbh. Like the huge funky cacti!!! The shrubs!!! The desert wildflowers!!! The mesas!!! All of it!!! So of course she needs to pull out her easel and paint it. Jack walks by one day and sees her working on it and, partly just to troll her, he's like “put some snow in it!” As he walks away, Rapunzel just stops like “wait...that'd actually be such a great idea for a surrealist-type fantasy piece!!!” After she finishes the main landscape, she adds an overcoat of little puffs of snow on top of everything, and has some clumps falling off of the cacti. When she shows Jack, he just about cries tears of joy, but frantically tries to hide it. She gives the painting to him as a present at the end of the trip. He hangs that shit front-in-center in his room and cherishes it forever and ever.

At some point, Jack gets the ingenious idea that he's going to prank Merida by catching a tarantula and leaving it in her room. It's one of the harmless ones--Jack fact-checks this by offhandedly asking Hiccup and framing it as a casual interest in local etymology. Still, Merida screams far louder than is at all dignified, and also probably loud enough to wake a neighboring country. Rapunzel later has to physically hold Merida back to keep her from absolutely beating Jack into a pulp. Rapunzel also manages to get the World's Largest Sheet of Cardboard and the World's Largest Cup and somehow manages to get the damn thing back outside.

[cto10121]

The bad Shakespeare takes keep coming, I see. This one had the cleverness to couch itself as a personal narrative (makes it much more interesting, tbh). But as bad Shakespeare takes are my bread and butter, my boon and bane, mamma mia here we go again, with Merchant of Venice.

“But those who thought the play was irredeemably antisemitic were, the consensus went, vulgar and whiny—​and, completely coincidentally, they were also Jewish, which somehow magically invalidated their opinions on this subject.”

I’m glad (is that even the right word?) this author found scholars that don’t think this play is anti-Semitic, but my experience with scholarship has been way more mixed than that. Suffice to say, this is literally all the play is known for these days, and views of the play as anti-Semitic are everywhere (Rosenbaum even had a hot take that since the Nazis liked it, it must be anti-Semitic). Didn’t know Harold Bloom thinks this play is anti-Semitic, though. That in itself is a bit of a red flag, as Bloom is a notoriously poor reader of Shakespeare.

“[I]n Merchant, Portia unhappily fulfills her father’s requirements of her suitors, while in Il Pecorone, the lady enjoys drugging her suitors and robbing them blind. By removing this detail, Shakespeare removed the suggestion that malicious schemers come from all walks of life.”

Or, by removing this detail, Shakespeare removed the clear and abhorrent sexism of his original source that turned a woman robbed of her autonomy by her father’s will into a criminal. It’s almost as if you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

“Dr. Lopez, one of the most respected physicians of the 16th century, had indiscreetly revealed that he once treated the Earl of Essex for venereal disease. The earl took revenge by framing Dr. Lopez for treason and arranging for his torture; while on the rack, Dr. Lopez “confessed”—​though “like a Jew,” as the court record states, he denied all charges at trial, while the attorney for the Crown referred to him matter-​of-​factly as “a perjuring murdering traitor and Jewish doctor.”

This is a very twisted account of the Lopez affair and Essex’s motives in going against him, at least to my understanding. For context, Lopez was accused of receiving loads of money from the King of Spain to poison Queen Elizabeth.

According to Stephen Greenblatt, in Will of the World: “Essex had tried some years before to recruit Lopez as a secret agent. Lopez’s refusal—he chose instead directly to inform the queen—may have been prudent, but it created in the powerful earl a very dangerous enemy. After his arrest, he was initially imprisoned at Essex House and interrogated by the earl himself. But Lopez had powerful allies in the rival faction of the queen’s senior adviser William Cecil, Lord Burghley, and his son, Robert Cecil, who also participated in the interrogation and reported to the queen that the charges against her physician were baseless.” Lopez apparently had been taken bribes from various sources, and confessed (freely? under torture?) “that he had indeed entered into a treasonous-sounding negotiation with the king of Spain, but he insisted that he had done so only in order to cozen the king out of his money.” Weird.

Greenblatt isn’t a historian, though, and Essex was indeed an asshole to Lopez, (and for what is worth, I feel Lopez was innocent; I just get those vibes) but so far I can find no other source that Essex actively framed Lopez. Most likely he did some sleuthing, dug up some questionable, compromising stuff, and tried to blow a hearth flame into a firestorm.

“After all, the historical record gives Queen Elizabeth a cookie for dawdling on signing Dr. Lopez’s death warrant; her doubts about his guilt even led her to mercifully allow his family to keep his property, not unlike the equally merciful Duke of Venice in Shakespeare’s play.”

Again, Lopez had powerful allies (doesn’t get much higher than Burghley), and again, re: Greenblatt: “According to court observers, Elizabeth gave Essex a tongue-lashing, ‘calling him rash and temerarious youth, to enter into a matter against the poor man, which he could not prove, and whose innocence she knew well enough.’” A cupcake, then?

“And it is of course entirely unclear whether this trial and public humiliation of an allegedly greed-​driven Jew attempting to murder an upstanding Christian, rapturously reported in the press with myriad antisemitic embellishments, had anything at all to do with Shakespeare’s play about the trial and public humiliation of a greed-​driven Jew attempting to murder an upstanding Christian—​which Shakespeare composed shortly after Dr. Lopez decomposed. Most likely these things were completely unrelated.”

Nearly all the major Shakespeare biographies and articles I’ve read literally and explicitly talks about the possible influence of Lopez’s execution on Merchant of Venice and names it as an inspiration: Greenblatt, (he even headcanons that Shakespeare watched the execution!) Bate, Ackroyd. That’s how Horn managed to ping my BS radar something awful—because I had read about it, many times, even if it was mentioned in passing. It’s solid, legit Shakespearean academic fanon. The sarcasm is really unwarranted, and childish besides.

“It was damned hard to hear the nuance while parsing lines like “Certainly the Jew is the very devil incarnal,” or “My master’s a very Jew; give him a present, give him a halter,” or explaining what Shylock meant when he planned to “go in hate, to feed upon / The prodigal Christian.”

The first two are the fool’s, Lancelot’s, lines, I think. As for Shylock’s hatred toward Christians, while ugly, it’s entirely understandable given the Christian characters’ treatment of him pre-play and during it (Antonio spitting on Shylock’s gaberdine and then asking him to borrow money from him is called out by Shylock himself for its sheer hypocrisy). It also fits Shylock’s character as an unassimilated Jew, resenting Christian hypocrisy and racism.

“The actor began the brief soliloquy that every English-​speaking Jew is apparently meant to take as a compliment: ‘I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? . . . ​If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?’

“Wait, that’s the part where he’s more human?”

[…]“Sure,” I told my son, game-​facing him back in the rearview. “He’s reminding us how he’s like everyone else. He’s a normal person with normal feelings.”

My son laughed. “You seriously fell for that?”

[…] “What do you mean?”

“Shylock’s just saying he wants revenge! Like, ‘Oh, yeah? If I’m a regular human, then I get to be eee-​vil like a regular human!’ This is the evil monologue thing that every supervillain does! ‘I’ve had a rough life, and if you were me you would do the same thing, so that’s why I’m going to KILL BATMAN, mu-​hahaha!’ He’s just manipulating the other guy even more!”

And then the crowd applauded, Harold Bloom cried, and the mayor gave the author’s six-year-old son a gold medal for his Brave Hot Take. Honestly, this was the most unbelievable part of the essay I’ve read. Unless this kid has been reading academic essays on MoV that posit this exact same interpretation (“Shylock was just using humanistic rhetoric to justify his ~bloodthirsty revenge!”), this one’s for a fake Internet stories anthology. Shylock may be a dour, miserable pain in the ass, but he is no Barabas, an actual anti-Semitic caricature—he has a character, and a recognizably human one, and the play bears it out that he is right in his anger.

“I reviewed the other moments scholars cite to prove Shylock’s “humanity.” There were two lines of Shylock treasuring his dead wife’s ring, unlike the play’s Christian men who give their wives’ rings away. But unlike the other men, Shylock never gets his ring back—​because his daughter steals it, and becomes a Christian, and inherits what remains of his estate at the play’s triumphant end.”

Er, this is a non sequitur—that last has nothing to do with the first. The point is, Shylock doesn’t give away his ring; the fact that his daughter stole it means nothing to his treasuring it. It may be proof of the play’s marginalization of Shylock (which accurately if sadly reflects real-life systematic marginalization), but not his humanity. Shakespeare just doesn’t do backstories, even for major characters, so it is significant that he gave Shylock a wife/beloved in the first place.

“Finally, scholars point to the many times Shylock explains why he is so revolting: Christians treat him poorly, so he returns the favor. But for this to satisfy, one must accept that Jews are revolting to begin with, and that their repulsiveness simply needs to be explained.”

This makes absolutely no sense at all. If one accepts Jews are inherently revolting, then no explanation need be given for when a Jewish character acts revolting! The racist accepts the revolting Jewish characterization without qualm. The fact that the play insists on his grievance is significant.

“We listened together as Shylock went to court to extract his pound of flesh; as the heroine, chirping about the quality of mercy, forbade him to spill the Christian’s blood as he so desperately desired; as the court confiscated his property, along with his soul through forced conversion; as the play’s most cherished characters used his own words to taunt and demean him, relishing their vanquishing of the bloodthirsty Jew.”

YMMV, but to me there are no cherished characters in this play. That’s the whole point! Everyone is so mired in this dreary capitalist materialism that denigrates genuine human connection into mere transaction. Everything to these characters is money, money, money (and class), or at least tainted by it. Shylock is simply the most overt (and honest) of the lot. Love relationships, religion are impoverished; Portia and Bassanio are scarcely more suited than Portia and her other suitors. Shylock and Antonio are Jews and Christians in-name-only: They are capitalists first and foremost. Portia is a smarter, more likable Karen. Lancelot isn’t funny. Jessica is okay, but her leaving her father is framed as a asshole moment at least in one instance. Portia is probably the most lovable, but she has her asshole moments too. There are no truly awful characters, but you don’t need to demonize and dehumanize your whole cast into two-dimensional racists just to make a point.

Merchant of Venice is not the best of plays. It is one of Shakespeare’s experiments, a proto-problem play before his Jacobean era, using dark comedy and a slight bent of farce to explore and elucidate social issues, racism and discrimination, chiefly. At least it tries, anyway. Taming of the Shrew is the first proto-problem play done completely farcical, which at least makes it compelling in a slapstick-satire way; Merchant is much more sociologically astute, but also more dull and coolly distant even from its own concerns. I don’t blame anyone, much less Jewish people, for not liking the play or thinking it a masterpiece. I myself don’t, though for reasons that have nothing to do with the usual ones. I like what Shakespeare was trying to do and I think he did some things very well. It has ambition and thought. But I feel like for most of it Shakespeare was on writing autopilot while mentally looking around for something a bit meatier to adapt and develop. It’s a jogging-in-one-place play; he has a couple of those.

In sum: Author argues for complicated play’s anti-Semitism, ends up just saying the racist slurs by the flawed/asshole Christian characters made her and her son uncomfortable (feat. A distorted and even misleading account of the Lopez affair). Plus some internalized anti-Semitism to sort through, methinks.

[bellatrixobsessed1]

The Killing Cure (Part 6)

Sleep takes her regardless of whether or not she welcomes it and her waking comes as a very unpleasant surprise. She is only tolerant of her awakening as far as her daughters go, even then she is  no more able to protect them than her rotting corpse could.

“Mother?” Cassandra murmurs sleepily.

Alcina weakly strokes her hair, “I’m still...here dear.” She isn’t sure for how long. She needs to get up but her body ails her unceasingly and without mercy. She tries to stand, her muscles are all so weak and the pain in her abdomen is still so sharp. She gets to her feet anyhow, she is going to have to endure. Endure until her last breath.

“Lay back down mother.” Cassandra mumbles.

Alcina shakes her head. “I have to do things for myself.” She makes her way across the room, somehow she has to make herself useful. She loathes to think of what Hiesenberg will say to her when he sees her again, the mockery and the endless taunting. And she would deserve it getting bested like that by a human man.

She braces herself against the wall.

“Don’t hurt yourself, mother.” Cassandra frowns.

“Where are your sisters?”

“Daniela thought that it would be nice to make you some new dresses. Bela is better at sewing though.”

“When did Bela learn…?”

“She watched the maiden do it before we turned her into fine wine!” Cassandra replies joyfully.  

Alcina chuckles. It is the first prickle of genuine humor she has had in a while. At the very least it is the first moment that the pain had subsided even just a little. She attempts to heave herself away from the wall and stand on her own. It is still dizzying to look upon her furniture from this vantage point. It is one thing to get adjusted to it from the semi-comforts of her mattress and another thing entirely to walk by the towering room decor.

She inhales deeply--at least she doesn’t have to put thought into breathing anymore. And she takes her first few steps, slow and meek. Cassandra holds out her hand and Alcina takes it, privately pretending that she has done so for the girl’s comfort and not her own.

“Where are we going, mother?”

“Let’s check on your sisters and perhaps I can find myself something to eat…”

.oOo.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” Ethan shouts. Lady Dimitrescu is not tucked safely into her bed when he arrives in her bedroom. He runs his hands through his hair, he can’t imagine that she could get very far.

Most likely, she is somewhere in the castle, lurking as she always had. But what if she has gotten herself further hurt than she is already? He imagines that she is the exact sort of woman who would push herself well beyond her limits just to prove something to herself, to impress an audience that isn’t even in attendance.

Or maybe she has assumed that he wasn’t coming back for her. Maybe she has left the castle in search of something to fix her up. But she wouldn’t leave those little demon flies, would she? He rubs his hands over his face and curses again.

He tells himself that he is only frustrated that he had gone all of that way and endured all of the Duke’s chatter and taunting for nothing.

“Got yourself in a really tight situation this time, didn’t you, Mr. Winters?” He’d chuckled. A fool he was to think that that would be the end of the Duke’s commentary.

“I thought up an assortment of scenarios about you and Lady Dimitrescu but this one never crossed my mind…” He had trailed off. “A small human. You might have four daughters to take care of now.”

“Absolutely not, Duke. She’s ill, not a child.”

The Duke had chuckled. “You’ve never overheard one of their family meetings, boy! The woman can cavil and grouse like the most petulant teenagers I’ve come across.” He took a swig of ale. “And that Hiesenberg, what a mouth that one has!”

“Duke…”

“Just how small is she now? I’ve heard hearsay that she was a tiny thing.”

“She’s...she’s small. Yeah.”

At that he had given his heartiest, most bellowing laugh yet. “Oh! What a treat. You’ll have to bring your new missus by when she’s all healed up!”

“She’s not...she won’t be...just sell me my goods, Duke!” He had waved the coins at him. Even a bribe--double the usual charge--hadn’t been able to deter him from his jesting. And so he’d resigned himself to several hours of jokes, gossip, and idle conversation. None of it of any particular importance. And now Dimitrescu is gone.

“Son of a fuck!” He shouts, noting that Heisenberg would probably appreciate that one. He slams his fists against her nightstand, knocking a glass to the floor. It shatters at his feet.

“Haven’t you ruined enough, Winters?” The woman, looking more thoroughly exhausted than before, stands in the doorway pinching her nose.

“I’m sure that you have a lot more glasses.”

“It’s the sentiment, Winters.” She, accompanied and assisted by her daughters, finds her way back to her bed. She falls heavily upon the mattress and just about curls in on herself.  “What kept you?”

“Have you talked to the Duke?” He groans.

The look on her face and that deep sigh tells him everything that he needs to know.

“Now, you might want to start treating me better because I didn’t have to do this…”

“You didn’t have to put me in this condition either, Winters. I won’t thank you for fixing what you broke…”

Broke. He looks her over. Does she really see herself as broken? Really he thinks with the proper treatments she could probably function relatively well. “Well, look, I didn’t just get you medication, I also got some new clothes for you and some food that’s more...suitable for a human.”

She seems none to pleased about this.

“Look, I even got you a new hat, just like your other one.”  He tries.

This seems to lift her mood, if only a little. She reaches for it and fixes it onto her head. It is only when he hands her the pile of clothes that he realizes she is already dressed in something new. Rather, aged but different than what she had been wearing.

“Bela and Daniela made it for me.” She notes.

He doesn’t want to be touched by it but, by God, he is. To think that those beasts have flickers of humanity. “There are two types of drugs here.” He holds them out, “one for diet and nutrition and one to suppress the immune system. Believe it or not, the Duke said that he got a supply just in case something like this happened.”

Lady Dimitrescu takes the pills and supplements.

“He was going to charge me extra too! He said that he was planning on getting extra riches from this, I told him that I put up with enough chatter to get a discount!”

She rolls her eyes. “That man is a character.” She takes a glass of water and swallows a pill. He can’t imagine that someone so small would need any more than one. She seems to stare sadly at her hands. But when she looks upon him it isn’t with as much hatred as it has been prior.

.oOo.

Alcina picks her way through the pile of clothing and, to her relief, finds a pair of gloves. She stuffs her rashed and blistered hands into the gloves, glad to be rid of the sight of them. She hates the sight of them, hates the sight of herself in general. She doesn’t just hate the sight of herself, she thinks that she hates herself entirely.

“Do you want something to eat?” Winters breaks her from her daze.

“Yes!” Daniela declares.

“I wasn’t talking to you.” He mumbles.

“A meal would be ideal.” She replies quietly.

The man seems to bite at his cheek before asking, “what would you like?”

“I don’t know, Winters. I haven’t had a taste for human dishes since making dishes of humans.”

For some reason, he chortles at this.

“Surprise me, you’re aggravatingly good at that.”

Ethan nods. “Alright, I’ll cook some potato salad, Mia used to love potato salad especially when I added cider vinegar…” He trails off in thought.

She thinks that the memory is painful for him, it must be with his wife so newly dead. She tries her best to fight off the sympathy but doesn’t quite succeed. She has enough success to not reassure him but not enough to stop herself from pulling him out of his own head. “My girls need food too.”

“They can have some of the salad.”

She shakes her head and rolls her eyes. “You need to go hunting. They prefer raw human, but deer or wolf will suffice.”

He sighs and says exactly what she hadn’t expected. “Alright, I’ll show you how to make a good potato salad and then I’ll go on a hunting trip. I’ve already shot dozens of lycans, how hard can one deer be?”

[bi-robins-club]

im gay and playing minecraft this is where this came from. no i do not accept criticism, only acceptance

batfam playing minecraft hc!

bruce bought the game when dick told him that it encouraged team building

"yeah b, me and the titans used to play it all the time!"

he literally sat them down and was like "i was told this would help you get along. i want you guys to play at least a few hours a week"

cass adores it. she has built a perfect replica of the manor and batcave.

barbara helped her build the redstone for all the secret entrances.

in return, cass started to build the clocktower

damian has made a petting zoo with every animal except he is the only one allowed to pet them and if you step foot in it, he'll attack you with a diamond sword he literally named katana.

steph goes around pillaging villages to help build her little house

the walls are all made of dirt but she placed flowers and vines everywhere to spruce it up. she has an army of parrots and a sea turtle that lives in a pond near her shack. no one knows how it got there.

dick lives somewhere in the jungle and he parkours all over the place

"can u just build a staircase. it takes me 20 tries to reach ur house"

no one knows where tim is. but he has an underground lair and has already defeated the ender dragon.

jason has given out the server to both teams of outlaws, eddie bloomberg, kyle rayner, donna troy, essence and rose wilson.

"i like them better than you, fuck off bruce. this is MY minecraft family"

they have built a castle and booby trapped it. like its bigger than a woodland manison but if you don't know the way in, youre dying.

dick tries so hard to get in. he attempts it at least once a day. at first he tried to bribe roy and donna. they blew him up

he screams when he discovers that cass, steph, and duke have unlimited access

duke has an army of llamas (he has three) and just goes around exploring. he doesnt have a house. everytime he dies, he spawns back at jasons castle and leaves to collect more llamas

bruce is a noob. hes died so many times that the batkids have placed signs every spot hes died

theres a stack of signs placed around the world

dicks signs are always like "b tried to hug a creeper!" while damians are like "father has been defeated" jason goes with "this fucking idiot i swear"

selina once joined to tame every cat and she checks on them once a week. they live at damians petting zoo.