#hardboiled something or other

[icarus-suraki]

It was a rainy Monday night when she came up to my office. I saw her silhouette on my frosted pebbled glass door and I knew this was going to be trouble.

They don't make frosted pebbled glass doors like they used to. I had to source this one specially. I cut the door to fit it in myself. The landlord didn't like that but he doesn't understand aesthetics. Same reason I keep my blinds half-open all the time for those angular and linear shadows: aesthetics.

I put the decals for my name up on the door too: Harry Cross, Researcher. The letters were backwards for me on account of being inside my office: ɿɘʜɔɿɒɘƨɘЯ ƨƨoɿƆ γɿɿɒH

Then the letters were ||||| ||||| ||||||| when she opened the door.

"Hello, Hodie," she said.

"Hodie" is what they call me if they know me: Harry "Hodie" Cross. It was a long-ago yesterday that I got that nickname. I'll tell you why tomorrow.

"Hey, kid," I said.

You could call her a leggy blonde. Blondes come in only a couple of flavors in these kinds of stories: icy and honey. But she wasn't a blonde. She was pretty leggy, though, considering she had two of them. She'd be leggier if she had more but you take what you can get. So you could call her a leggy blonde if you wanted but I'm not about to. She was maybe somewhere between 17 and 43 and she looked like she had a lot on her mind. I'm telling you all this for your benefit; she's my cousin so don't get any ideas.

She took my hat off the rack and put it on as she walked over on those two legs; the hat looked better on her than on me.

"How're your brothers?" I asked.

"Fighting," she said as she sat down on the other side of my desk.

"Too bad," I said.

She shrugged. "It happens every night."

This kid here, Issy, she's got two brothers, Shem and Shaun and they've each got a share of the city. Shem's got a lock on the stationery business in this town and Shaun's got a mail delivery racket going. It never ends with those two and sometimes I think Issy just plays referee when they're brawling.

I kicked my feet up on the desk. "So what brings a girl like you to a nice place like this? The rain? The park? Other things?"

"I need you to find someone for me, Hodie."

"Yeah?" I lit another datura cigarette. I couldn't find the one I'd just had in my hand. "Who?" I lost my cigarette again.

"Ellmann."

I gave her a look. Two-ells-two-enns Dicky Davy Ellmann was another big man in this town, but for the right reasons. He was smart; he knew his stuff, and if he didn't know, he knew how to find out. A regular tome, that guy.

I found another datura cigarette in my hand and lit it. "With that blue and black jacket of his, he should be easy to find." I paused for a second. "You don't think he's…I guess some people would call it 'recycled'?"

"I don't think he's in the box."

We all know the old cardboard box where you end up when it's time to leave the city of letters.

"Still in the old place, then, huh? Why're you looking for him?"

"Because of this."

She slid a Tumblr post across the desk towards me:

I read it and gave a low whistle.

"I need to know if it's true, Hodie. And if anyone's going to know, it's Ellmann and nobody knows where he is."

I leaned back in my chair, which I also had to source specially as a vintage piece since the aesthetics demand something other than a pink gamer chair in this establishment, and kept looking at the post.

"Why not just ask the usual crowd?"

"With Artie out there causing trouble?"

She was right: Artie Intel was a thorn in everyone's side these days. He liked to talk but only about three words of what he said were true. It was all good language but it was all wrong--not even fiction, just plain wrong. Real gift o' the gab with this one. And a town like this might run on fiction but sometimes you just need facts. The problem was that people were starting to listen to old Artie and starting think what he was saying was making sense.

"Hodie, please?" she said. "You've got a nose like a bloodhound."

"It's not that big."

"You got droopy eyes, though."

She had me there.

"And droopy ears."

That was maybe going too far.

"All right," I said. "I'll take the case."

"I knew you would, Hodie. And I know you'll find him."

I tossed the post back onto the desk. "When I set out to find somebody I find 'em. That's why they pay me."

[starsinthenigth]

★..ehem. Ignore this. or not-★

⭐|.. I love you tortilla with feta and sun dried tomatoes, I love you hardboiled eggs and feta combo, I love you spicy food, I love you spicy chorizo pasta, I love you sriracha and tabasco, I love you lettuce with salt, oil, and a ton shit of lemon, I love you salted caramel ice cream, I love you lemon slushies, I love you mint lemonade, I love you ice cold water, I love you waffles, I love you cheese and ham toasties, I-

[alphajocklover]

Like OMG hunty! This is like totes, such a fun little site you have here. Apps, charms, and all that like. So here is like the stitch bitch, I’m this super swishy liberal queen but like I’m also an actor. And I’m up for this part and like I totes don’t know why my agent even thought of it for me. He’s this super conservative, awful straight douche. Like totally obnoxious. Crude. Belittles women and guys like me. And like I said super conservative. And I was wondering like omg, this is silly but is there anyway you could make me fit the part?

I’m glad you like my work, though I’m a little offended at how you put it. Calling it ‘a fun little site’ makes me worry you might not be taking what you’re getting into very seriously. Being transformed is incredibly serious business. You’ll be giving up your identity, or at least a large part of it, to become someone else. And even the safest ways of doing transformations can go horribly wrong. Taking on that risk for a movie role… either you’re a fool, or an incredibly dedicated actor. Possibly both. I’m going to assume it’s just the latter for my own conscience, and because if that really is the case… I’m actually pretty impressed. To go as far as to use unnatural means to alter your body and mind so you can better fit a role… it speaks to a passion for your work that most people never find. So even though I’m still a little offended… I’ll help you. More than that, I’m going to make you one of the greatest actors of all time. This isn’t going to be an easy task. I know you specifically asked for help fitting into this one role, but if you’re going to become a truly great actor, you’re going to need range. Playing only straight douchebags will only get you so far. You’re going to need to be able to change to fit whatever role you’re playing, which means an ongoing transformation. Those aren’t very easy to pull off. There are ways to do it, but my work isn’t sophisticated enough to do those. I’m a decent TF reporter, but actually doing TFs is still fairly new for me. A spell could work, but it would take much more magic than I have. I’m not even sure a talented wizard could pull off a spell like that without a coven to back them up. My next option would be nanobots or something, like the kind the Douchebag Revolution uses. But I’d have to get some from the revolution, and then reprogram them… and I’m not exactly an expert programmer. Programming is hard enough, but programming nanobots? Magically charged nanobots? Yeah that's not happening. I could always ask my Uncle’s friend Nick, the devil I’ve mentioned before, since his magic can do some truly incredible and complicated things, but for something this big he’d definitely want your soul. Even the wishing supernova might not work, as wishes this complicated are incredibly hard to pull off right. None of the other methods I’ve mentioned before would work well either… so if we’re going to pull this off, we’ll have to use something different. Something new. Something like… A potions set! Now, that probably sounds a little strange. I mean, considering how complicated I just told you this transformation will be to pull off, making it work with some magic cocktail probably sounds crazy. The thing is I’m not giving you one potion. I’m giving you dozens of them. In the box you’ve just received are a large amount of potions, each one set to transform you into a different movie cliche. We’ve got one that will make you into a hardboiled detective, one that will turn you into a sports star, and even one that will make you into a superhero. And those are only some of them. Take a potion that's the closest to the role you want to get, and for the next 24 hours you’ll have the personality of that person, all while still remembering your true self. With this, you will literally be the perfect method actor! And with a little extra magic, people won’t even realize you’re doing it. They’ll just think you’re a great actor! With the set of potions I’ve given you, some hard work, and a bit of deception, you just might be the greatest actor to ever live. And when you’re not playing a role, you can always have some fun with the potions in your regular life. Why don’t you try one now? This one looks interesting. ‘The Action Hero’.

Ok… wow. That worked really well. I wasn’t sure it’d be this effective but I guess I’ve got a knack for potion making! I’m glad you like your new body so much. I would too honestly, look at those pecs! And the personality transformation aspect seems to be working well too, considering the hint of superiority in your smirk and how you can’t keep your eyes off the delivery woman's tits. Enjoy being a straight, douchebag action hero. And if you ever need a potion refill or anything specific, just let me know. Now stop flirting with that girl and get going, you’re going to miss your audition!

**I'll admit, I think this one might have gotten a little bit away from me. I've been thinking about potions a lot lately, and the idea of an actor literally transforming to fit a role really excited me. I know the person who sent this probably wanted a bigger focus on the douchebag part of the TF, but I got so excited by the idea. I hope you still like it, and feel free to send in another on**

[feartoxinjelloshot]

clipsverse SWAP AU! for fun! character elaboration under the cut because it gets kind of wordy:

selina's deal is pretty straightforward: she has the typical “saw parents die as a child" backstory, but she’s obviously not a millionare so she’s operating out of some kind of condemned underground parking lot... somewhere. authentic gotham grunge i guess. she’s a functioning alcoholic and i am obsessed with her. she's a hardboiled detective like batman, but tends to be a bit more cynical - sort of like if rorschach from watchmen was a normal person and also didn't hate sex. firefly is her "guy in the chair" similar to what alfred is to batman in canon, minus the surrogate parent part, obviously. public opinion is pretty split on if the bat is a man or a woman under there. i don't really have swap ideas for the robins ironed out, but i'm thinking that cass and stephanie are her robin and red hood equivalents (cass being dick, stephanie being jason). cass would have an allblack bird theme going on, so she might be "crow" or "blackbird" instead of robin. dunno what stephanie's red hood rendition is like. purple hood? i'll figure it out eventually.

bruce’s parents are alive, but he has a terrible relationship with them and with his own wealth so he mitigates the guilt complex by dressing up as a cat to steal and redistribute resources to people who actually need it. he could probably do that in daylight but there is something very wrong with him. i don't think his dumb slutty playboy persona is entirely genuine even without his parents' deaths, but he does lean into it more and incorporate parts of it into his vigilante persona over time. i think this version of bruce is just generally very lonely under the surface. he tries to be normal in his daytime life and he's very bad at it - theft aside, in a certain sense being the cat(man? woman?) is his own break for freedom; he felt a need to plunge himself far into the deep end of what normal society calls a 'freak'. ...writing it out like this, we're probably lucky he didn't start killing people. fortunately batman isn't really that kind of guy in any universe.

meanwhile on the other side of the rails: ivy! her deal is slightly unformed right now due to the fact that the hatter and the joker also swap places in this au - so the hatter is a dangerous, evil mastermind intent on controlling gotham to suit their whims, and the joker is... just a harmless silly little guy. yeah. i don't have swap-hatter's exact personality ironed out yet, so detailing his and ivy's dynamic would be difficult, but i can say that while she is his loyal second-in-command at his table of advisors, she is also plotting against him. ivy is a consistent loner in both mainline cv and here, and while she doesn't have the same tumultuous, antagonistic, emotional relationship with him as harley does with the joker, she is also frankly not interested in being his number one until the end of time. she wants to do it herself and she wants to do it right. this is an ivy who, in lieu of her own world-altering gift, is scraping tooth and nail to successfully supersede the most powerful entity she can her her hands on. the hatter is blissfully unaware of this - we can't all be perfect.

harley, for her part, is very tame in comparison. she mirrors ivy's canonical backstory pretty closely: an esteemed scientist studying stem cell relations who was denied funding, mocked, and forced to experiment on herself to prove a point, unwittingly connecting herself to a worldwide hive-mind of plantlife. this version of harley, while still dressed as a scientist, is far more surface-level emotionally volatile than mainline ivy, more impulsive and irrational, and probably willing to lean much farther into the classic poison ivy reputation as a villainous seductress, to varying degrees of honesty and success. it takes ivy an incredible degree of patience and control to maintain the mental and physical balance she strikes with the green, and this version of harley has far less of both. she lets it use her body as a conduit of earthly rage and she lets the poison infect her skin and organs until mottled and decaying. she's not unhappy, but she's not exactly stable, either.

jonathan is a mysterious, faux-sleazy lounge singer who lost his left arm to a snake bite infection as a child and thereafter became obsessed with the symbolism of the balance of life via games, tricks and questions - winning and losing, birth and death, etc. the ouroboros is a common symbol in his theatrics. he possesses a certain degree of social confidence that the mainline jonathan has never quite been capable of - while he doesn't have the same fervent need for attention as edward, he takes a compulsory delight in the mental influence he achieves on small crowds and will employ many avenues to get ahold of it. he's certainly not outgoing: he keeps almost entirely to himself offstage, uninterested in fame outside of his show persona. unlike mainline jonathan who views the scarecrow as a genuine self-inflicted diety, this jon sees his persona as more of a mantle or responsibility that he must take on in order to discover new truths about the world. like his canon counterpart he is asexual and uninterested in sex, but i imagine that he has less qualms about leading people on as an act to get what he wants from them. he's not terribly famous in his singing career, but he's become a bit of an underground legend for his resolute 1920s-inspired style and occasional genuine debonair charm.

edward in comparison is not nearly as ritualistically compelled as mainline scarecrow, but he’s far less cagey about his own machinations and his mental relationship to them: he lives in a tricked-out barn somewhere on the far outskirts of gotham, and he spends his time as a propmaster creating elaborate saw-trap-esque haunted houses and escape rooms to invoke panic in his “guests”. he wanders the halls of his own houses along with the guests, repairing and tinkering, or just scaring the shit out of them. he also makes a genuine living by making and selling cosplay props and other related objects online; he's developed a bit of an internet presence through this channel, though he's not as fixated on it as the mainline riddler would be. he still craves spectacle and attention, but he's more of a "quality over quantity" guy according to his own standards and is rarely happy with the work he creates, hence the endless roundabout of creation and reinvention.

[anim-ttrpgs]

🌤️ Share your favorite mechanic from a game you’re working on.

I have a lot of mechanics in Eureka that I really really really love and have hardly seen anything similar to them anywhere else, but for the purposes of this ask I’m going to be answering with one of the unique ones that we haven’t talked about on here yet: The Woo Roll.

The Woo Roll is a special roll named in honor of director John Woo, well-known for his bombastic and extravagant use of practical effects in shootout scenes. Eureka boasts exciting and realistically dangerous firearms combat, and what better way to make deadly firearms combat more exciting in a theater-of-the-mind or grid-based shootout than by adding flavor and flare that emulates Hardboiled?

Firstly, it should be noted that it’s actually relatively hard to hit a target in Eureka firearm combat, doing so requires a fairly high roll. That means that participants are going to be doing a lot of missing. Besides just having a higher Firearms skill, the best way to increase one’s chance to hit is by firing more bullets in a single turn in the hopes that at least one of those shots will roll high enough to hit, which is why automatic weapons are more powerful than others: It usually only takes one single bullet hitting to disable a human target, so even with a low Firearms skill, firing more bullets at once greatly increases the chance that at least one will hit.

However, realistically, most shootouts in Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy will be done using semi-automatic pistols, which are only capable of firing a maximum of 2 shots per turn. We don’t want to make our combat be just and endless boring montra of “shoot, miss, shoot, miss, shoot, miss”.

So, how do we make missed shots fun?

The answer is the Woo Roll.

The Woo Roll is one of the few rolls in Eureka that doesn’t use 2D6, it only uses 1 D6.

(Quick note for those unaware: While Eureka is NOT a PbtA game, it does use a similar system of “Failure, Partial Success, and Full Success”, three possible outcomes of a dice roll instead of just Success and Failure.)

When firing a gun, all bullets fired that turn are rolled separately (we have a special speed-rolling system for when you’re firing more than 3 bullets in one turn but that’s a different post). A Full Success(10+ on a 2D6 roll) is required to hit the intended target with any given bullet, a Partial Success(7-9) and a Failure(2-6) both miss. But this is where the Woo Roll comes in.

I’ll let the actual Eureka rulebook take it from here.

As you can see here, missed shots in Eureka still have some effect on the environment and situation, even if they do not kill their intended target. This ensures that a roll in firearm combat will always do something even if it is a miss, and reminds the players of one of the fundamental rules of gun safety: Don't just be sure of your target, be sure of what's behind your target! High-velocity lead doesn't stop being destructive just because it flew a little too far to the left!

The fact that a Woo Roll is much more likely to have a negative result if the shoot was a Failure vs a Partial Success means that handing someone a gun who has no idea how to use it can be more of a hazard than a benefit, but it's not impossible for them to get that one lucky shot that makes the difference. Likewise, a Woo Roll made from a Partial Success still has a small chance to cause disaster, so even very skilled shooters have to consider whether it's worth the risk to start firing bullets all over the place at all.

We also have tables the Narrator(Game Master) can roll on just in case the shootout runs out of Woo Roll Elements or it happens in place where no Woo Roll Elements would realistically be. Here's a sneak peak at the table for Negative Woo Rolls.

Note also that this is a 2D6 table, meaning that the results closest to 7 are much more likely than the results farthest from 7.

[cooketimm]

Hardboiled #10-25 (1990-98) cover artwork by Bruce Timm

Interview from Cool Stuff Magazine #1 (1995):

Gary Lovisi: Much of your work is characterized by raw, intense energy and action, or beautiful women in stylish, dangerous settings. Some is obviously influenced by the pulps.

Bruce Timm: I’m big pulp fan, have been since the early 70s, when I started reading Doc Savage and Avenger reprints. I can’t really say how they’ve influenced my artwork much, except when doing pulp-homage stuff like the Bob Price books. But I do sometimes wish I was born decades earlier so I could have worked for some of the old pulps, which was why it was so much fun doing the Price stuff, and the «mock 50s» paperback covers for your Gryphon Books.

The hero pulps — Doc Savage, The Spider, The Shadow, etc — did have a big impact on my approach to the Batman cartoons. It’s something I tried to inject into the show from early on, the atmosphere, danger and illicit excitement, and especially that Norvell Page-type feeling of impending doom — the «doomed city» mood. It’s also why I set the sense in a timeless, 40s-styled world of big cars, padded shoulders, gangsters, shadowy streets, etc. I only wish we’d gone farther with it.  

For instance, my original version of Batman himself was actually close to the Shadow: rarely seen close-up, speaking in short, clipped phrases, more mysterious, literally. I wanted to play him cold and remote, almost unhuman. But the network and our various story editors would have none of that!  «We need to humanize him», «He needs to have a sense of humor», «We need to more about Bruce Wayne, the person», etc! Whereas I could care less about Bruce Wayne! He’s much more fascinating if you don’t know what he’s thinking, or what drives him.

A few «Shadowy» touches did survive. Batman is rarely seen be the public, almost never on TV. Even when dealing with the police, he’s usually off in shadows conferring with Commissioner Gordon only. And when he’s in the Batcave, he’s almost always in costume. My way of saying he’s Batman, not the other guy, not Bruce Wayne. Like Lamon Cranston, his true, «legal» identity is a facade.

I’ d love to do straight-ahead pulp hero adaptation someday. Doc or The Shadow or The Spider, either in comics or animation, without the senseless updating and over-explaining «character development» like in the Alec Baldwin-Shadow-fiasco-film.  

Gary Lovisi: Your stunning covers for my Hardboiled mag are very popular with everyone who sees them. What are your feelings on hardboiled crime-related art?

Bruce Timm: It’s hard, actually, to define «crime-fiction» art. There’s pulp crime-fiction art, and digest crime-fiction art, both of which cross over with paperback crime-fiction art. Basically, I’m a fan of good illustration. Period. Regardless of subject matter. Composition, emotionally intensity, color and lighting effects are what I look for. And pretty girls, of course!   

My favorite pulp crime artist is H. J. Ward, hands down. Gorgeous gals in twisty curvy poses, painted in luscious, creamy, wet-on-wet oil technique. My favorite paperback artists include Robert McGinnis, Robert Maguire, and Mitchell Hooks, the usual suspects.

My approach to the Hardboiled covers is different from my earlier «homage» work. When the covers were black and white, I used to experiment with different b&w textures, coquille board, zip-a-tone, xeroxed newsprint, whatever worked. Now that I’m doing them in color, I’m trying to make them as exciting and eye-catching as possible, with loud color, sexy gals, exaggerated action, and simple, graphic, almost cartoony styling.

[artemismoorea03]

DP x DC or Marvel: Somebody Fuckin' Has To

MENTIONS OF SCARS!!!

The team wasn't stupid they knew that in order to be a 'Ghost' no matter the definition required some kind of death. They knew and accepted this the moment they decided to approach the mysterious 'Phantom' who was said to protect Amity Park. They had been warned by Batman/Nick Fury that the hero they were meeting wasn't going to be what they expected but no matter what they were to show respect.

Out of all of the things they expected to see an underweight teenager with bags under his eyes, and a tired gaze wasn't anywhere on the list. Phantom - a hero who had been protecting not only this small town but their world and an entirely different dimension was working with the help of other teenagers.

Children.

Phantom was a ghost.

Danny Phantom was a dead kid.

For a while they tap dance around him, making sure that they don't hurt him or upset him but it doesn't take long for Phantom to comment that if they're going to be walking on eggshells around him they should at least make sure the egg isn't hardboiled. He was made of tougher stuff than they gave him credit for.

Something they understood later when Danny stopped an airplane that was going to crash on his own seemingly with little to no strain. Phantom was tough and repeatedly showed how tough he really was. After four months he was a full fledged member of the team and fully adjusted.

But they still had more to learn.

Something they didn't realize until one day after a fight that left them covered in muck, slime, and trash. They were all upset and even Danny grumbled that he wanted to shower. They learned then that not only was Phantom able to take off his suit at will but that he was covered in scars.

Lichenberg figures, burns, vivisection or dissection scars, bites, and healed cuts covered his body. All once hidden by his jumpsuit were now exposed to the world. When he caught them staring he told them to stop being creeps and ask their questions.

The only one who could think of anything to ask was Superman/Captain America who simply asked.

"Why? You've been through hell, so why did you keep going?"

Phantom thought about this for a moment, then smiled softly and said, "Where I come from the only ones capable of fighting ghosts are just as likely to accidentally kill people. I'm dead and I'm alive, the perfect middle and the protector of the living and the dead. I kept going because... somebody had to."

[whatevertheweather]

Hi hello. I miss y'all. That is my own fault but it's still true, and I'm writing this on saturday night and feeling maudlin about how wonderful and talented and dear this fandom is and how I never join in anymore, so I'm making my little post okay.

I'm going with Musical Chairs again because it's so far past time for that to be done. And I've said this before, but it is approaching done. And I'm gonna get into that, but it'll all be behind the scenes rambling, so it's below the cut, and for those who don't want to delve that far, here is some freshly written Penny POV.

“Ah,” Shepard smiled, “a good deed wasn’t motive enough on its own?” “Not when it’s for a stupid reason.” “What is your un-stupid reason?” “Un-stupid?” Penny repeated. She turned resolutely to her drink. “Nevermind. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.” “Hey now,” Shepard said, ducking into her line of sight. “You struck me as someone who prefers being honest.” It was a job not to smile at that, but Penny put the work in.

Now for the mess.

It's a good mess I think. I have a new section in my miscellany document, tucked in between nine (9) sections of ramblings and cut scenes, and the new section is called "we got it this time boys," and I think it's right. I've written a full draft of the scene that's been holding us all back. It's there in its entirety, it just needs to be edited. And I'm so scared to reread it, because every time I think I got this scene right I come back and it's wrong. Which I've decided to be fine with, because so what!!! So what if I got 36k right and there's 5k that doesn't quite hit the way I want it to!!! The earth will keep spinning!!!

Anyway, "we got it this time boys" is 3 pages of what is technically kind of an outline for 5 pages of story, and every time I read the header it's in the voice of someone from some black-and-white hardboiled detective noir, which brings me the joy that might be the only reason I feel I've gotten it right in the first place. The outline is all written about as cohesively as it starts:

I think maybe, and gosh haven’t I said this a million times, I just need to stop trying to go that way. Stop trying to go any way. Like always “how do I get them to this moment” instead of “what would they do in this situation.” Unfortunately, the latter requires I connect with them on a level I’m not sure I can right now. But I guess let’s try. Actually let’s go for a walk, I can see the sun setting on the top of the house across the way and it’s lovely. Okay nice, it was lovely. Relaxing, refreshing. Saw a stump that looked like a beaver. Saw a cat. Thought of the opening to something I’m never going to write. So anyway,

It also sort of ends with:

Oh shit came up on an obstacle immediately. [Redacted]. This does not actually open the door for Baz to say something that can incite “[Redacted].” Fuck god okay whoops already going completely back on all I’ve decided and thinking maybe we could keep some of the new exchange I’d written, maybe he does reveal the ugh no stop I hate this. Just figure out a transition to bring in [...], what would Baz say to that other than what I’ve written him saying to that which doesn’t work for what I’m trying to do. I guess it could just be, like…he murmurs incorrigible. Or something. With a raised brow, a la baz. Sure let’s do that, however, I’ve laid down to do this and learned I’m actually quite sleepy, so let’s do it another time. Hopefully I don’t come up on another immediate problem and despair. Just remember not to start combining things and rereading things yet, okay. Please.

This would be alarming if I hadn't already gotten past this point and written the thing. So I'm going to go into editing it with the mindset that nothing substantial shall change and boohoo to me if I want it to, and once that's done we're pretty much home free.

Now tags.

Gonna dip a toe back into being melancholy and wistful about this fandom k, I really do miss it even though I'm the only one keeping me out. You're all my friends even if that is a surprise for you to hear because we haven't talked in months or maybe ever, but I love each and every one of you x

@fatalfangirl @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @moodandmist @cutestkilla @artsyunderstudy

@bookish-bogwitch @aristocratic-otter @mooncello @noblecorgi @alexalexinii

@rimeswithpurple @ivelovedhimthroughworse @basiltonbutliketheherb @whogaveyoupermission @facewithoutheart

@martsonmars @iamamythologicalcreature @run-for-chamo-miles @thewholelemon

@forabeatofadrum @youarenevertooold @ileadacharmedlife @monbons

[smutlord-supreme]

SFW König Backstory Headcannons

-He has a German father and Austrian mother.

-His father was a sniper in the German military and died when he was between 6 and 10.

-His mother traveled for work alot so he was raised by his grandmother (mothers mother).

-He was fairly popular up until puberty which hit him like a truck. Then he was bullied mercilessly for his looks.

-He had horrible acne in his teens and still boasts the scar to this day (he was really bad about picking at his skin)

-His growth spurt was rough so he was in alot of pain most of his younger teen years.

-He was a disproportionate teen with big hand and feet and long thin arms.

-He was really into the pokemon trading cards as a kid, but now he collects postcards from the places he visits.

-His grandmother struggled to feed him, something she tried to hide but failed. So he still has pretty bad food anxiety to this day, often eating large portions, escpecially when the food is free.

-Due to his eating habits from childhood he has a bit of a tummy over his abs.

-After he enlisted his grandmother cried for days.

-He goes back for as many holidays as possible, her favorite is Christmas so he makes an effort to go back.

-His Father's family is Catholic but his mother's is Prodestant, so he makes an effort to go to both Christmas services.

-He is not religious himself, but he enjoys the Prodestant service better since he has trouble sitting still.

-During basic training he was so nervous that he didn't speak a word other than, Ja, Neil, Herr, and the various military ranks.

-Everyone thought he was a suck up, so he didn't make any freinds until he joined his first regiment.

-Although he wanted to be a sniper like his father he also understood why he couldn't be one and tried not to let it get him down.

-His hood belonged to his father.

-After joining his first regiment he became a nervous chatter. Often talking about nothing at all.

-Surprisingly everyone liked the chatter. It kept things lively and he became popular again.

-After his first assignment he became more depressed. He wasn't used to people being afraid of him, being bullied and all.

-He broke out of the slump when one of his teammates snuck a little black kitten onto base. It got loose and hid in Königs room, unbeknownst to him. When he woke up the next morning a kitten was asleep on the chair next to his bed, on top of his discarded hood. It wasn't afraid when he picked it up. König decided then and there that if this tiny kitten wasn't afraid of him, he wasn't that bad after all.

-The kitten was named Harold and loved with the team until they were caught a week later. König took the kitten home to his grandmother for Christmas the next day and he still lives there.

-Edit: Fanart of Harold submitted by my roomate

-He goes to counceling every week. His therapists name is Andrea.

-He has a dirty mouth, and is always swearing and cracking jokes under his breath. But his demeanor completely changes is his grandmother is around.

-He has a strained relationship with his mother in adulthood, she doesn't even have his phone number.

-He loves music, things with loud base and emotional lyrics.

-Maybe old school emo?

-He can cook, but only basic German fair. Think fleischsalat, kartoffelsalat (with vinegar and oil, duh), boiled wurst, pfankuchen (and of course Flädlesuppe with the leftovers, his father was Swabian) and the like, nothing fancy.

-His favorite breakfast is fitness-brötchen cold butter, teo hardboiled eggs with salt and teewurst. With water and black coffee to drink.

-He likes to indulge in quarkäallchen if he's out and about early, but he can eat an ungodly ammount of them so he makes sure to buy a roll or something to help fill him up.

-He actually really enjoys window shopping, but clothes in stores rarely fit him. If he has a partner he would most definitely know their size and bring them back clothes.

-He wears all black most of the time, but with the occasional pair of blue jeans or tan cargo pants. Really whatever pants could fit him.

-shoes are even worse, he's probably a size 17-18 in men's shoes (US, I think its like a 16 UK and iver 50 in Europe) He's probably got black new balances for day to day use and then custom workboots.

-He knows how to darn and hem. Making him very popular with his coworkers.

-He hums while he does chores.

Ok I actually do have more but I'm tuckered. Let me know if you want more I guess. I do have plenty of spicier ones so I may post those anyways. Goodnight little people in my phone

[suchine-toki]

Thoughts about Hijikata Toushirou

I think one of the most intriguing aspects of Hijikata's character is his internal conflict between his responsibilities as the Vice-Commander of the Shinsengumi and his personal desires. As the second-in-command, Hijikata is burdened with immense pressure to uphold the honor and integrity of the organization, often at the expense of his own happiness.

Initially, his deep sense of duty and loyalty to protect Edo is mainly associated with how he feels about Kondo, their dynamic being integral to the structure and dynamics of the Shinsengumi. They both possess a strong sense of responsibility and honor, and, despite their differing leadership styles and personalities, they share the common goal of keeping peace.

Eventually, this evolves into a drive of his own, something he wants to do for himself. He wants to protect Edo because all the people who are important to him live there. That is what leads him to challenge authority when he believes it’s necessary to achieve justice, despite being a stern and disciplined leader.

Yes, Edo is where the people important to him still live. One of the problems I’ve with the character is how he was written during the Mitsuba arc and, although he was portrayed as a great man who only wants the woman he loves to be happy, he assumed and made the decision for her about what he thought would make her happy, and even when she was dying he didn't visit her.

Hijikata is a more traditional guy, and I wouldn't be surprised if Sorachi wanted him to represent the typical Japanese man. There’s a reason the title of the chapter in which Mitsuba dies is called “German Suplex Any Woman Who Asks, 'Which Is More Important, Me or Your Work?” (132 of the manga). But I still would’ve liked his more traditional views on gender, which are presented on more than one occasion, to be treated as something to overcome.

But that’s tied to another problem, which is that Hijikata barely has a relationship with the women throughout the series, or many other characters to be honest. Having so much screen time, his interactions with the rest of the cast are usually limited to the Shinsengumi and the Yorozuya, mostly Gintoki. He later has a rivalry with Isaburo that has more substance, but the character is killed relatively soon after.

Overall, Hijikata is a standout character in Gintama, thanks to his complex personality, love for mayonnaise, internal struggles, and dynamic relationships with some characters. Still, I think Sorachi limited his relationships too much. He introduced a love interest to the story and then killed her in the same arc (and never mentioned her again), he introduced a brother who’d already died, he makes him form a friendship with the hardboiled detective that is then forgotten, and so on.

[songsformonkeys]

Saying I love you through an accidental kiss (Joel Miller x reader Pre outbreak)

Month: July

Word count: ~1100

Warnings: None

Notes: I think the title is pretty self-explanatory. Unbeta'd.

The rest of the Year of Creation stories

@yearofcreation2023

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's a little after six when you hear the screech of tire trucks pulling onto your driveway. He's late. You're not surprised in the slightest. If there's one thing you can count on regarding the Miller family, it's that they're never on time. The second thing you've learned - which has probably come about as a result of the first - is that they're always in a rush. And in the eight years you've spent living across the road from them, you have learned to adjust accordingly.

”Sarah!” you call up the stairs as you hear the car door slam shut outside, and you move to open the door before Joel can assault it with his impatient knocking. It swings open, revealing his perpetually frowny face. He looks tired, the way he usually does when he comes to pick Sarah up after a long day of work. Still, you have to admit there's something ruggedly handsome about the slight sheen of sweat mixed with construction dust on his skin and the patchy beard he never seems to have time to properly shave.

”Evening, Miller,” you greet him, cocking your hip and leaning against the wall. ”Driving like that, you better not have run over my lavender bushes.”

Joel looks over his shoulder and pretends to check. ”It's the purple ones right?... Nah, they're good.”

”In that case, please come inside.”

He steps past you into your home. You follow him into the kitchen, grateful for the dry weather since he's made no move to remove his work boots.

”Where's my kid hidin'?” he asks, looking around as if Sarah is gonna jump out of a kitchen cabinet.

”Last time I checked, she was rifling through my closet, looking for something to wear.”

”What?” Joel looks you up and down as if noticing your clothes for the first time in eight years.

”You're gonna stare like that, at least buy me dinner first,” you tell him, and he has the courtesy to look a little embarrassed. ”Speaking of, have you eaten yet?” You ask, even if you already know the answer. Between you and Sarah, you're lucky if you can bully Joel into eating anything for breakfast and lunch, other than hardboiled eggs and coffee.

”I'll make something when we get back from the meeting.” he says.

”I wasn't born yesterday, Miller,” you tell him, rounding the kitchen island to pick up a Tupperware container from the counter. ”For later,” you say pointedly. ”It's even in accordance with that stupid diet of yours.” You clap him on the shoulder as you hand the container over. Then you lean out of the kitchen to shout up the stairs.

”Sarah! Your dad's here!”

”Can you come and help me?” you hear her shout back. Turning to Joel, you shrug before heading upstairs.

”Tell her to hurry! We're late!” he calls after you and you give him a thumbs up over your shoulder.

You find Sarah in your bedroom, standing in front of the full-length mirror. She's wearing one of your dresses, light purple and a bit too big on her small frame.

”Well look at you!”

”It doesn't look good on me,” Sarah says with a sigh.

”It looks great on you. Just a little big. Here...” You pull a jean jacket from the closet and hold it out to her. ”Put this on.”

Sarah shrugs the jacket on and does a slow spin in front of the mirror. She seems pleased with what she's seeing.

”Stunning!” you tell her ”Now come downstairs before your dad has an aneurysm.”

As if on cue, Joel calls from downstairs to hurry up.

”Not my fault he's late,” Sarah mumbles but she follows you out of the bedroom.

”Come on, chop chop!” Joel snaps his fingers as you descend the stairs. Then his phone rings.

”Tommy! ...Yeah no, we've got the meeting at the school tonight... Have you heard back from your concrete guys yet?” He waves goodbye at you as he talks, motioning Sarah out the door towards the truck. ”No? Would you give it another try, we need... yeah, I know!”

Sarah turns to wave at you as well.

”See you at Dad's party this weekend!” she calls.

”Absolutely!” you promise.

You notice Sarah's bag not even two minutes later when you enter the kitchen. At the same time, you hear the car pull into your driveway again, which means Joel and Sarah must have noticed too.

Joel is hopping out of the car as you open the door to hold the bag out.

He jogs up to you.

”She'd forget her damn head if it weren't screwed on,” he complains.

”A trait that runs in the family,” you counter, holding out the food container that he also forgot, with a teasing grin.

”Yeah yeah, laugh it up.” He looks down at his wrist, as always, forgetting that the watch isn't there. When he remembers, he reaches for your wrist instead, tilting your hand to look at the display.

”Fuck, her teachers will murder me!” He tries to sling the bag over his shoulder but it keeps snagging on the seam of his jacket. ”Thanks again for looking after her today. You're a lifesaver, as always!” He gives the bag another frustrated tug.

Recognizing a stressed-out Miller temper tantrum rapidly approaching, you step forward to help him. You're reaching for his shoulder, and before you've even fully registered it happening, Joel suddenly pauses his bag struggles to lean in and oh my god, he's kissing you!

It's a soft press of lips against yours, casual but intimate, like this is something you've done a thousand times before. Like kissing your neighbor on the mouth is the most normal thing in the world.

The kiss only lasts a second or two before Joel's brain seems to catch up with what he's doing and his entire body freezes before he pulls back.

He stares at you. You stare back.

���Did I just..?” he asks, sounding just as shocked as you feel over what his body decided to do with autopilot engaged.

”I think you did,” you reply.

He looks around, eyes a little wild and panicky. You wonder if he's going to bolt.

”You reached for me first!” he suddenly accuses.

”To help you with the bag!” you say, incredulously. ”Not to smooch you!”

”I got confused. I- I...” The rest of the sentence is lost in unintelligible mumbling before Joel turns and stomps back towards the car where Sarah is watching you two with eyes wide as plates.

As he peels out of your driveway, he definitely runs over some of your lavender bushes but you can't bring yourself to care right now.

Because Joel Miller just fucking kissed you!

[deconstructthesoup]

I've been thinking a lot about my Slay The Princess ships, and I'm realizing now that the only Voice x Princess combo (LQ and Shifty don't count) that I ship is Prisoner and Skeptic.

Idk, I just like the combination of a hardboiled, prickly detective-type and a woman who's so stone-cold that she'll cut off her own head in order to escape something. They compliment each other. I dunno what to tell ya.

[slaygentford]

the jdcu: a comparative analysis in fact and fiction

several months ago I watched the netflix program mindhunter. this was a normal experience until I found out it is based on a memoir -- the work of 77 year old ex FBI agent John Douglas (jd). indeed, he is the man behind every behavioral analyst character youve ever seen, most notably jack crawford of silence of the lambs/Thomas Harris's novels, which consulted him personally.

I could not believe that those jds -- jack crawford and far more, as it turns out -- were based on the same man that jd of the show mindhunter was based on. mindhunter tv's jd is like if m3gan was a gay keebler elf. his girlfriend tells him to use his womanly wiles on murderers to get them to talk! and he does so -- the harlot! I was stunned. 77 year old ex FBI agent John Douglas consented for this little freak to be his eidolon forever on netflix? who even IS John Douglas?

and so I am compelled by intellectual curiosity to ask: by watching all jds ever committed to screen, can we qualify the multitude that is jd? and, after hearing John Douglas speak on John Douglas in his own words, can we decide who among the many is the most accurate fictional depiction? to conduct this study which is a really good use of my time, we begin by sorting the fictional jds into two categories: slaygent and hard boiled detective. after this, we will compare them to jd in his own words -- that is, his memoir and his masterclass.

mindhunter tv: let us begin where the problem first surfaced. much has been said about patient zero holden ford. a youthful thirty, he begins a career of seducing real life serial killers to learn about their behavior and so forth. many times I asked: girl what kind of interview is this? in the interest of time I will simply say that this evil roomba created and defines the slaygent category.

silence of the lambs: the next logical move. here we encounter the original and most famous fictional jd: jack crawford. despite a strong effort to manufacture chemistry with jodie foster, he is sadly still a man. three words I would use to describe this jd are Svelte, Serves in a trenchcoat, and Succinct. he falls in the middle of the slaygent/hard boiled Venn diagram.

manhunter: this jack is adorned with a rare and compelling mustache. in one scene he shouts, AND I'D DO IT AGAIN! I was not paying attention at this point to what he would do again but I did not doubt he would do it. no dignity, all exhaustion. hard boiled.

Hannibal nbc: jack crawford receives a much needed reboot! Laurence fishburne gives a nuanced and honestly moving performance of a man for whom meaning is unraveling one day at a time. this jack is sartorially aware but practical, and remains empathetic despite his painful job. hard boiled

the alienist: dr laszlo is our first sherlock holmes* archetype -- somehow this has not cropped up before now. with his difficulty relating to people, his lovely coat with a fur collar, and his genuinely sharp observations, laszlo alienist emerges as a dark horse slaygent.

*due to its original publication date, Sherlock Holmes and successive properties are not relevant to a John Douglas study.

criminal minds (& related procedurals): cm's david rossi, along with his counterparts across other networks, are unilaterally hard boiled.

though hardboiled jds prevail in quantity, slaygents are not necessarily an anomaly. now the moment of truth: is the real jd a holden ford or a jack crawford?

Mindhunter (book):

while reading this book I began to feel...discomfited. and not just because it's 400 pages of self aggrandizing ghostwritten prose. something was wrong. it wasn't until, in the last five pages of the gauntlet, that it all cohered.

jd and his wife separated because work kept him away, because he barely knew his children, and because when his daughter skinned her knee he couldn't find much empathy for the scrape because of the shit he saw all day. this isnt the unmarried antisocial slaygent ford who began our odyssey. this isn't even the stylish and heterosexual Jack Crawford of silence of the lambs, nor our mustachioed manhunter. a man who lacked empathy for his child? whose marriage crumbled? who thinks shrinks are dumb as hell? whose main recourse in difficult moments is to remind himself that serial killers are nothing but "inadequate losers" -- of no inherent interest to him outside of their contributions to his noble mission to stop serial killing?

whatever answer remains, however unfuckable, is the truth: holden ford -- and indeed any slaygent -- has never been John Douglas at all. even jack crawford is barely a jd himself. we've been overlooking the real jd all along. and he was right under our noses. hiding like the adder, right in plain sight.

the bill tench paradigm shift

a chain-smoking vet whose wife leaves him because he thinks their kid sucks? an unapproachable asshole clinging to his slippery moral high ground?

target locked.

but make no mistake. this is not yet a victory. if bill tench was right before us all along, then how many jds did I overlook with my narrow definition of a jd??? has hubris bested me again? who will we find now that the truth is blown open before us? how will we wrangle this new data into a useful paradigm? what does paradigm actually mean and can I use it in a sentence like that? questions we must answer.

I propose an ontological compromise. if we set slaygent at one end of a spectrum and the true jd at the other, we may examine all jds and potential jds without compromising the integrity of the real/tench jd, AND without ignoring the fact that slaygent ford is BILLED AS jd. indeed, slaygent and jd CAN coexist -- it is only that their differences must be accounted for.

below are MANY, though not every, possible jd.

now to the final frontier: www.masterclass.com, where for the low low price of 100 dollars you can access celebrities just verbatim reading from their memoirs. literally just verbatim reading from them. like I'm not joking like you could just go to fucking barnes and noble.

mindhunter (masterclass by jd): the discovery of this masterclass was a windfall in my work (thank you cj). now, at last, to the knowledge gleaned. jd (real) is man with white hair and a very slight New York accent. he is well fit for his age with minimal male pattern baldness. he confirms everything we have discovered regarding the bill tench paradigm shift; gruff, to-the-point, sardonic. even his controlled mannerisms are tenchian.

and so I must ask: from whence did the slaygent archetype spring? and why did jd consent for the scary keebler elf to be his proxy? despite the depth of my work, I cannot access the mind of this man, nor the circumstances which gave rise to these anomalies in the continuum.

still. in the indefatigable spirit of jd himself, I feel a theory nipping, nibbling at my ear. I mentioned sherlock holmes before, and now some unwanted voice within me calls out that very name. is it Holmes who shapes the slaygents into his image, even from beyond the grave? has all of this been a prelude to the real work -- the work of examining and classifying every Holmes committed to screen?

like vercingetorix, exhausted by the struggle, here I toss down my arms. with or without me, though, the jd quest continues. what doors remain unopened? what slaygent homunculi lay in wait behind them? and what will become of us, if we knock?

[l-in-the-light]

The most embarrassing series of posts about Lawlu you will ever read: edition Whole Cake Island (part 12)

Lawlu in Whole Cake Island? There is none! Actually... do we really need Law to be present to analyze it, come to think of it? Luffy is really all we need; to watch his behaviour, things he says, his determination, to guess how Law's influence would show and how partying ways with him (even if temporarily) would impact Luffy.

This is the Alice in Wonderland Arc of One Piece, which means Luffy's main struggle will be to face himself, his own weakness, fears, and maybe even his own self-hatred. Which is why this time it won't be the usual scrutinizing analysis of frame by frame, but instead I will take a deep-dive into Luffy's mind. Are you ready? :D

Luffy starts Whole Cake Island arc in a rush. Because why wouldn't he feel in a rush? There's a wedding to stop! There's a chance they won't make it in time, after all. But... seeing how Zou ended, there's probably one more reason why Luffy is so irritated and wants to get things done as fast as possible... there will be someone waiting for him in Wano, alongside the rest of Luffy's own crew. Luffy could tolerate being seperated from his own crew for two years, but this two weeks trip to Whole Cake Island seems like a torture to him. What changed exactly between timeskip and now? Oh, right, Law got added into the picture ;)

"See? She didn't have any problem with my yeeting!" and I wish he could add "Law also had no trouble after I yeeted us in Dressrosa, you should be more hardboiled like him!", because I swear, this feels like the thing he actually means. And he is right, Law hated being yeeted, but he dealed with it just fine in the end, keeping his clear mind and sense of direction intact.

And then, out of nowhere, Luffy gains an interest in cooking. Luffy, of all people! The very same Luffy who thought a musician is more essential on the crew than a cook!

He even compares Nami's nutritional knowledge to a doctor instead of a cook. For Luffy, a cook is just someone who makes your food look and taste extra great, but it's not neccessary for a kid who grew up in a jungle eating everything the way it comes or simply by roasting it over a fire. So why is he suddenly so interested in cooking?? Is he missing Sanji that much? Is he trying to make his crew miss Sanji so the reunion is more emotional? Good guesses, but they have one flaw: they don't take Luffy's personality enough into account.

Back in East Blue, Luffy agreed to recruit a cook before a musician only because his crew wanted one and also because he's a freaking glutton.

"You guys are really rude, I made this food for you!" now that doesn't fit with Luffy's personality of "I want to eat all the meat". Suddenly, it's for them, hm?

Then he tries his own "kitchen sink curry", spits it out, shouts that's it's inedible and flips the table! Why so mad? Oh yeah, because as we learn soon after, he tried cooking multiple times and it's still something that can't be eaten. He tried so many times that he wasted a stock of food they had that was supposed to last them for a week, for all of them! And it's all gone in one day.

Luffy's frustration is understandable then, because this is what he considers to be "his best attempt". As we learn from SBS, Luffy's best dish is just a bowl of meat (in other words: pieces of meat put in a bowl lol), which means he would not prepare "curry" or any sort of exquisite dish for himself. He indeed did this dish with others in mind. He would be more likely to just roast whatever he caught and shove it towards them, asking "you want some?", if it was only about him.

Despite his constant failures, he's still not getting discouraged and wants to learn how to cook edible things for people to enjoy. Nami though stops him and tells him "to never go into the kitchen again", ouch. They have been starving for days as the result of Luffy's "cooking attempts" and Luffy almost lost his life as the result (eating poisonous skin of a fish they finally caught), so her reaction is understandable. But this should make us realize that Luffy, thanks to this whole (mis)adventure, understands Sanji better without even realizing it. After all, Sanji was also told to "never cook again" by his father.

But I think this adventure has one more meaning. Whole Cake Island is basically a tale about the good and bad sides of food industry, but also how food creates connections between people. And I think XxXholic covered the latter part better than I could ever put in words, so forgive me for the unexpected crossover here. You don't need to know XxXholic, its plot or characters to be able to follow the quotes, they also don't spoil anything from the plot, so don't worry. We're just following one of the many, many side characters there.

First of all, if you want to repay a debt or show your gratitude, the best way is to offer food and good drink. And the best way to do it, is to offer stuff you cooked yourself, because they require your own time and effort, and include your feelings (of gratitude and love) for the person you cooked it for. If someone does you a favour, it's a good idea to say "thanks" by preparing a dish they like, for example.

"I would like to cook with you and then eat it together. And then I would really like to know more about you. And for you to learn about me, as well" says the protagonist to one of his clients. Cooking together is a big thing because it creates an equal, mutual bond: you get to know me, I get to know you, and we can both try to become better at cooking together, but also better people for each other as well. Because by cooking we learn more about what the other person likes and dislikes, but also about their personality: their usual way of problem solving, about their patience, flexibility, stubborness, ability to learn etc. Your prefered way of cooking can also reflect your personality this way and you try to offer your best through a dish you put a lot of effort to make, for someone to enjoy.

You can learn a lot about yourself as well through cooking. If you compare your own cooking to someone else's, you can realize your own personality traits you wished you would have never noticed (for example impatience, like Luffy flipping the table in anger: even Nami called him out on it, Sanji would not approve of that action!). You might also realize that someone preparing food for you did it with lots of feelings, of kindness and love, and that's why that food tastes good. And if in comparison your own food is terrible, bland, without flavour or personality, it just shows you don't really share your own love with the world through the act of cooking. In Luffy's case up there, his food was so terrible (though definitely full of his personality lol) despite him putting in his best effort and feelings. How did it make him feel about himself? Perhaps like he has nothing good to offer to people he loves? But his final reaction is always this: try to be better and do better!

Luffy offering his failed attempts to his crew serves the same purpose: he's offering them what he has, even if the result is disgusting. But this is the kind of person Luffy is at the moment and he has nothing better to offer!

The sidestory in XxXholic has a happy ending, the struggle continues on and the woman's significant other supports her efforts and says they will wait for as long as it takes. Now, what does that have to do with One Piece? The reason this woman couldn't cook something that would taste good wasn't because she's clumsy, or didn't put any effort in or lacked knowledge (she actually studied cooking like it's an university subject, it clearly mattered a lot to her!).

What she lacked in the end was love, not for others, but for herself. She hated herself so much that she believed anything she would do would turn out bad (which is exactly what happened over and over), almost like she was subconsciously self-sabotaging her own efforts. And since she didn't have love for herself she had nothing to give to others either, despite caring for them and being so grateful to people who loved her the way she is, imperfect, disbelieving in her own worth, broken. She just didn't feel like she has anything to offer to all the great people around her.

Sounds familiar?

"What can you do?" Arlong asks Luffy. "You can't do anything, you're a disgrace as a captain". And Luffy proceeds to say he has great people who support him (which means he does not think of himself as great, he knows he lacks in so many ways), but there is one, just one thing he can do for them back: it's to beat up people like Arlong.

And yet despite that, in Whole Cake Island, Luffy attempts to do what he literally can't do: to cook. He knows he can't do it, but he tries it anyway, knowing very well what the end result will be. It's not that he lost his mind. We mustn't forget why he's doing a stealthy mission on WCI. It's exactly because he can't do what he usually does: beat up Big Mom. He promised he won't do it. But what *can* he do then? It's his struggle to become better and get out of his comfort zone, and he starts that from attempting cooking. It won't be the first or last time that he will fight against himself in this arc, even denying things he had the most confidence in. This is the arc in which Luffy loses the sight of what he can and can't do, and needs to come up with a new answer or rediscover the one he already had all along. This is Luffy in a crisis.

Now is that related to Luffy being seperated from Law and dealing badly with it? Or Luffy realizing how much he knows Law has faith in him and he wants to live up to it? Because like we established before, Luffy is doing this stealthy attempt only for the sake of his alliance with Law, he would not bother usually and would just destroy Big Mom because she's in his way. I can only imagine Luffy's inner struggle when he tries to come up with a new solution here but can't get any, nothing works out if he just can't beat up the bad guy and move on. Luffy's later refusal to eat anything that isn't Sanji's cooking, not even the syrup rain, must reflect how Luffy feels about himself in this moment: he feels pathetic and useless and he must hate himself for it.

There's one more angle to it. Luffy suspiciously wants to cook as fast as they're seperated from Law. He thinks nutritional knowledge is something a doctor does and he's impressed with it. Law is a doctor. It's not a stretch to think that Luffy wants to learn something new to impress his favourite person upon return. It's highly likely he wants to cook for Law as well (and he's using his crew for taste-testing for now), because he has feelings of love and gratitude he wants to convey to him, but he doesn't know how to do it. But Luffy always had Sanji who used his cooking exactly for that: to show his feelings of love for people (and was very vocal about it!). Luffy is just trying to do the same, but he realized he can't do it no matter what. By the end of the arc he comes back to terms with himself and finds the old truth again: he will leave the cooking to Sanji and rely on his crew. He can try to be a better person in other ways, but he will keep on searching for a way to show love and gratitude to them.

And we will not talk about Luffy suddenly remembering people smooch each other and talking about it in context of Sanji's wedding, uhum. If that's on his mind all of a sudden when it wasn't even once for last 80 volumes, then you can guess why it suddenly would be. People who love and care for each other smooch, so maybe he was considering... things...

Another odd thing Luffy does, which is to check on the map and comments, frowning "it's weird". He has a point, because we learn later it was a deliberate trap. But he's paying attention here because he tries to be useful and does things he usually wouldn't be doing. Just like with cooking.

Same here. It's probably the first moment in which Luffy realizes that having a longterm plan would be actually a good thing. Yeah, Luffy of all people. That's because he must be thinking "if it was Law, he would definitely have one". I feel like other people were pointing it out to Luffy before, but it's the first time he actually shows that he kinda cares and isn't answering with "I'm just here for the adventure. And become a king of the pirates, no plans included!".

Look here. This is Luffy in a crisis. "I have to get back and I'll destroy everything in my way if I have to!" Not only he's not supposed to destroy everything or beat up Big Mom, which he points out a moment later, but Luffy is clear here, he made his decision: if he can't go back, he will simply get rid of everything on his way. Getting back is the most important thing, everything else be damned.

Except... are we really talking about Sanji here? Get back where, Luffy? To Wano perhaps, where your crew and Law will be waiting?

"I'm not going to die in a place like this!!", "I made him a promise, but it's not here!!". I'm just saying, this applies both to Sanji and the promise Luffy made "to meet up in Wano". And if he wants to get back no matter what, it's because he knows he can't die here, he can't force a certain someone to go through a big loss again. He would rather tear off his arms than not return at all and break his promise.

And we get Sanji with his "I didn't tell you to wait..." and Luffy just laughs in reply. This particular laugh he used only once before, btw, and I don't recall anywhere else:

When he was telling Zoro how much he's worrying about Sanji. Because why wouldn't Luffy know that Zoro and Sanji are the most important people for each other? Zoro is his best friend and his first crewmate, Luffy just knows what's in his heart, the same way that Zoro probably knows who is so important for Luffy as well.

Do you still think Luffy-Sanji scene was *only* about Luffy and Sanji? That the whole promise talk was only about Sanji? And not two particular people waiting for both of them in Wano? It was always about both reasons.

Luffy says he can't be the king of the pirates without Sanji. And demands that Sanji says how he really feels (which is "to go back on Sunny" ❤). Imagine if Luffy said both of those lines to Usopp in Water 7. Maybe a lot of the conflict could have been avoided. Especially if Luffy would also follow his very own advice, because he was not saying his true feelings in the quarrel with Usopp. What changed since Water 7 in Luffy? A lot, actually. Ace, timeskip, Dressrosa, Law... All those things are huge milestones in Luffy's development. But there's also the promise he made. He promised Zoro his crew to bring Sanji back. And that promise also changed everything.

WCI is also the first arc in which Luffy says he is ready to drop everything, even his own dream, and go save whoever needs to be saved for his crew's sake. It's very ironic how in this scene he also needs to struggle against himself, this time with his enormous hunger, that seems to sabotage his ironclad determination. For once Luffy doesn't do things for food and that despite the whole arc being exactly about food. That's how serious he is.

Now we have to talk about the alliance with Bege. Here is Luffy's initial reaction: "what an awful person", "Bege is gonna get it!". He does not like Bege at all, he also wants to punch him for what Bege did to Pekoms. In other words, Luffy doesn't think Bege is a good person, at all.

But just a moment later, when Jimbei tells him "you should work together with Bege", Luffy changes his mind immediately. He's all up for this alliance. His crew, that has been with Luffy the longest (Nami and Sanji) can't believe their ears. What an interesting change, isn't it? Like I argued at the beginning of this post, Luffy has to do things differently this time instead of doing what he usually does. The problem is, he's not good at anything else than "beating the main bad guy". That's why in this case he's determined to do something he would usually never do. And forgive me for the callback again to XxXholic, because I can't resist:

Luffy has the same idea as the protagonist here. "This is all I can do", and "if this person was with me, they would be able to find a better way". In other words, Luffy agreed to this alliance because he thinks this is something Law would do as well. Luffy is constantly wondering in Whole Cake Island how Law would handle the situation and he knows he can't come even close to his level, but at least he will try to follow in his footsteps.

Of course Luffy wants at first to punch Bege for Pekoms. He's still trying to make this alliance a friendship, and if he hits Bege then they will be even, so they can try becoming friends. That's basically the idea.

But he doesn't get to do that and in the end, Luffy agrees to alliance based on "common goal" or "allignment of interest". He did not become friends with Bege in the process and didn't make things even between them. This proves Luffy knows what an alliance is and it's not friendship. I wouldn't say this means Luffy finally learned what an actual alliance is (though it's tempting, ngl). I would rather say he always knew that, but he chose to make it a point that whatever he has with Law, is friendship firstmost, alliance second.

And here is Luffy listening to Bege's plan. He's trying, okay. Not his fault he's constantly getting distracted, sidetracked and overfocused on making a silly entrance party trick (jumping out of the wedding cake). Bege is just not Law, and Luffy's tiktok's level span of attention is struggling here, heh. Also please notice Luffy's unusual focus on the smooching lol.

Oh, so that's Luffy's idea for the wedding surprise. He just wanted to do ninja's shadow clonining trick, definitely inspired by Raizou's show in Zou.

Coincidentally, that's the technique that was Law's request and made Law so damn impressed. Yeah, this is for sure a coincidence, that Luffy chose to do it like that, even though he didn't really have to have multiple copies of himself here to make it work. I bet he just thought "if Law would be here, that would impress him, I'm sure!" and I bet he's looking forward to telling him all about this adventure later on and seeing his face.

But it was essenstial for his plan to create chaos! He didn't do it just for fun! Are you sure? Because it was Brook who hid himself in the midst and did the deed with Mother Carmel's photo frame, and Luffy did not tell him to do this. Luffy simply wanted to be cool, okay, he didn't think that far ahead. He was supposed to cause chaos, he delivered.

And in his fight with Katakuri, Luffy is the one who has to have faith. Law had his faith moment in Dressrosa, now it's Luffy's turn.

Luffy found his answer about what he can do and how to become a better person for someone. It's to master his observation haki. Which, coincidentally, is Law's forte.

Luffy's curious, very strict words to Jimbei. "Don't let even death stop you, we'll be waiting in Wano!" It's basically Luffy's own promise he made before leaving Zou, just said in more deadly serious manner. That's because his experience in Whole Cake Island made him realize it himself: he will go back to Wano and not even death can stop him from achieving that. Because he promised that to Law people.

I'm sure for Law this would be indeed the most important thing, not to lose anyone ever again, especially Luffy who he (miraculously) managed to save all the way back in Marineford. I don't know how Luffy knows this or if he knows at all about Law's deepest fear, but he's determined not to die on him, that's for sure.

This is also the first big seperation for Luffy and Law. Luffy deals with it, treating everything like an adventure to tell Law later so it feels like Law is there with him even though he's not. But also treats it like a challenge, to become a better and stronger person so he won't disappoint him.

Still convinced there was no Lawlu in WCI? Oh well, if that's the case then all I can say is: I tried my best :D

If anyone wants to read all the parts of this series without going to my masterpost, then just click "love is a hurricane" tag :3

[beanghostprincess]

Modern au trans Ace has been consuming my mind lately so I thought I'll just share all of my headcanons or else I'll explode:

• Sabo was the first person he had come out to. It happened when they were around 9. Ace had always felt that something was "wrong" about him. That the way he acted, his interests and past times, and just how he would do things were "unnatural" or wierd". Once Ace became familiar with the conspet of transgenderism he just opened up to him, and was met with instant support.

• Immediately after this, Sabo gave Ace his (trademark) transgender haircut in the bathroom of Dadan's house. She actually entered it while they were there and upon seeing it she cried out of happyness. (Mothers know everything)

• Coming out to Garp was a bit harder for Ace since he wasn't sure how an older person would have reacted, I mean Garp just left there his grand"daughter" and came back to a grandson after all. But we all know that Garp would never discriminate, and plus now he has another grandson to train.

• Luffy arrived in his life after a full year after he had transitioned, so at first Ace wasn't sure how to exacly explain this to Luffy, but he did manage to open up to him after they officially became brothers. Luffy wasn't just an innocent kid, while he didn't fully understood concepts like transphobia, to him Ace is just his brother so if anyone is mean to him or calls him names he'll just kick their asses.

• Ace had been homeschooled for the 5 years that would have been him attending elementary school. Middle school was the first time he attended an actual school and at first he wasn't open or confident at all and was ready to just beat up anyone who tried to shit talk him.

• Surprisingly he made a few friends. They were mostly just Luffy's friends who were older than him or his friends's siblings, but he appreciated it anyway. His absolute best friend ever tho is Kuina. I hd her as non binary using she/they so its just trans supporting trans, and they also have like a million of other reasons to be friends but those were already pointed out.

• His top surgery was payed by none other than his father Newgate. The Whitebeards pirates would be just this one tatoo shop Ace works at that Newgate he opened after "retiring" from biker gangs and stuff.

• Obbligatory T4T Yamace, but we all already knew this, didn't we?

• Ace gets the best older trans guy advice from Franky. Because to me, he is just what every trans guy aspires to be, cool and hardboiled. And who wouldn't want to get advice from the dude who did his own top surgery in his father's mechanic shop at 15?

These are all from me, but feel free to add your own or elaborate on the ones you like.

Trans Ace is so real to me that I quite literally can't imagine him being cis. It's just so,,, Weird to me. And I absolutely love everything you said. I definitely think Sabo was the first one to know and the one who helped Ace the most with his transition, also telling Garp, who actually is way better (if you can say 'better' when something isn't even 'good' but yeah) at raising boys. At least he understands them better. So I think he wouldn't have a problem with it at all even if he's more on the "I don't really get it that much, kid, but as long as you're happy" type of vibe. I agree with everything,, When he was younger he really didn't interact with many people and usually preferred to be alone. Teachers considered him more of a problematic kid than anything, and always compared him to Sabo with the typical "how are you like this when your brother is just so polite and smart!?" but then Sabo always ends up fighting the teachers for saying that shit in front of the class and Sabo stops being so perfect in their eyes (also he starts rebelling himself a lot against the educational system lmao). And not to talk shit about Garp, but talking shit about Garp I'm sure Ace would get in trouble a lot and Garp wouldn't show up to the meetings with Ace's teachers. That only makes Ace feel lonelier and everyone thinks he's extremely troubled. When he's literally a sweetheart to both Sabo and Luffy,, When he meets Luffy's friends, he starts to open up to people. He still gets in a lot of trouble, honestly, but that's just him. I think his classmates find out about him being trans, of course, and not a lot of people are okay with that. He truly wants to fight them but he knows that if he keeps going like this he'll get expelled and he doesn't like the idea of leaving Sabo and Luffy alone ('doesn't like the idea' meaning he almost gets expelled and Sabo had to scold him and tell him that even though he has his own friends he doesn't know what he would do without him in school), so Luffy and Sabo are usually the one defending him a lot of the time since the teachers, even though they're chaotic, don't really hate them (because look at those cutie patooties how could you hate Luffy???? He gets along even with teachers). The Whitebeard pirates accept him with open arms and he finally feels he has a place to belong to. Newgate doesn't even offer to pay for the surgery, he just pays without telling him first because he knows Ace wouldn't have let him do it otherwise. He's so so grateful for them. And his brothers. And his friends. And everybody that has ever supported him. I think that he has lots of issues with depression and self-image and he often has a hard time when he acts impulsively, but Newgate always helps him. He grounds him. Gives him something to focus on. And Franky is soooo fun to be around. Newgate tells him to go see Franky and give him the money he owes him, and that's how they meet, basically. It's obvious he's trans because he goes shirtless all the time and scars are there and everything... And Ace just has to ask about his experience. Franky helps him gladly. And it's not only cathartic but also very comforting. He also meets Robin there!!!! Because married Frobin in this one. And I think Ace would absolutely love her because she keeps being oh so nice to him. She kind of reminds him of Makino, and it's extremely sweet. I think Ace now goes to help Franky from time to time when the Tattoo shop doesn't really need him there or, well, whenever he wants to because he also is extremely interested in bikes.

T4T Yamace my beloved.... Guys being guys. Dudes being dudes. I think they meet because Newgate tells Ace something about this man Kaido (leader of a gang) who owes him lots of money or something or did something very nasty to him yadda yadda Maybe they just have beef from when Newgate was into the gang stuff. And Ace keeps saying he should go and settle things with Kaido and beat him up for that, but Newgate is retired and he really, really doesn't give a single fuck about it. Lmao. Ace says he could take down Kaido himself. Newgate laughs. Ace is too proud. So he ends up looking for Kaido and fighting Yamato late at night in the street and,, Well. You know how it goes. They become daddy issues besties and turns out Yamato does not want to follow his dad's steps. Ace is curious about Yamato's experience because he doesn't seem to want to have surgery or anything, and they keep bonding over their pasts and family and Yamato ends up joining the friend group. And it's so cute. Newgate can see the kid is in love because every day he waits for Yamato to come pick him up to hang out. Or maybe he begs to get out earlier to go see Yamato. He keeps talking about Yamato,,, All the time. Even Sabo and Luffy are done with him. It's endearing.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA This is just so good. Modern Au my absolute beloved.

[olderthannetfic]

wait i’d love to hear yr thoughts about tony hillerman bc i grew up in new mexico (and still live here lol) & always thought he was just like normal pulp mystery

--

Normal pulp mystery with ten thousand digressions to talk about clouds and rocks. Hahaha.

IDK, do we use "pulp" like this now? (Genuine question.) His mystery style was fairly standard for the cozy end of mystery publishing if we mean not hardboiled, not police procedural, etc. rather than the cozy mysteries that are actually cozy with their cat-themed bookstores and such.

When I was a kid, my mother was obsessed with one day moving to Santa Fe, so for holidays, instead of seeing family, we'd go there. She had another phase where she was convinced she'd move to Orcas Island one day where, again, we spent holidays up around Seattle repeatedly. In both cases, there were things that happened to be culturally big at the time and easy to find that were also connected to local indigenous stuff.

What makes Hillerman interesting is that, despite being a white guy, he focused a lot on the Navajo reservation. It probably doesn't seem like much of anything if you're from that part of the world, and there are certainly some inaccuracies in the books that he himself would talk about in subsequent forwards, but they were a highly accessible introduction for someone who'd otherwise have had no reason to know about anything like that. I don't think that's so true now with more media on the scene, but this was the 90s at the height of his popularity (and of the series actually being good).

The thing is, they are normal mysteries. That's what made them work: people who didn't have a reason to care about the setting or particular political struggles bought them because they bought mystery novels in general. And then there was some other stuff in there too, but mostly, they're just fun genre fiction. One thing they did that I can't recall any other 90s media with a thousandth the reach doing was depict Indigenous characters who don't know that much about other indigenous cultures. There are a couple of books where the Navajo leads have to deal with Hopi stuff, and it's very clear these are different people with different communities. That sounds so incredibly small and obvious, but these books were sold in airport bookstores all over the country to an audience that knew literally nothing.

As for the books themselves, I like all the contemplative noodling about the landscape and the sense of place. That's something I often like in a mystery novel, especially one set somewhere I don't live.

The characters are compelling aside from their romances, which are horrendous. (Leaphorn has a wife who is a nonentity until she dies between books of something stupid, and then she comes up endlessly as the love of his life. Chee is a moron who makes bad choices and forces us to hear about them at great length.)

There's a bunch of archaeology stuff in some of the books, and I was a kid obsessed with archaeology. Honestly, our understanding of, e.g., Ancestral Puebloans is way different than it was in the 70s when some of these books came out, but it was still interesting stuff.

The adaptations now... Robert Redford bought the rights an eon ago and has been trying to make fetch happen ever since. One of the attempts was a set of three tv movies for PBS's Mystery! They hired Chris Eyre and unfridged Leaphorn's wife. There's a lot more humor relative to Hillerman's often rather gloomy style. And I am weak to buddy cops, to age gap with obnoxiously over-enthusiastic younger parties, and to OT3s.