#hard to know just how much to do myself tho bc like... humans are social animals! but im in a situation that doesnt allow for much social

[toastsnaffler]

weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<

[robertseanleonardthinker]

house and wilson r both autistic and on complete opposite ends of the spectrum

(bear with me here i'm autistic myself and it's hard to articulate my thoughts)

wilson masks heavily. he knows he's different than everyone else and he tries so desperately not to be. he wants to be seen as a normal guy. he's the furthest thing from it but nobody needs to know that if he can help it. he knew he was different since he was a kid and it upset him. he worked so hard to create an image of himself that is palatable. he is very concious abt it. he clings to normalcy. his knuckles r white and his nails r digging into it. the only person he is ok with letting go of it for is house. house is is safe space. house is the one person he knows will not care if he acts a little different.

house, however, doesn't mask very much at all. if he wanted to, he probably could (although i also partially think he couldn't) but he doesn't. he just doesn't give a shit. he doesn't care abt what ppl think and he doesn't rlly care how he affects them either. he says what is on his mind. he is the way he is and he feels no shame for it. social rules r stupid and he doesn't respect them. he doesn't respect any rules.

wilson is primarily sensory avoident. he likes peace and calm. he especially doesn't like visual overstimulation. he likes things to be neat and pristine. when his space is organized, he can function. his environment influences the state of his head.

house is very sensory seeking. he thrives in chaos. he needs the outside world to be as fast and loud and hectic as his mind is. he needs noise and things to look at and something in his hand (his stupid red autism ball). he's never doing nothing when he's thinking. he likes soap operas and crappy reality tv partially because it's good background noise. it doesn't take up much brain power, but it's still a constant noise.

wilson has big body language. he is very expressive. i know this is rlly bc rsl is a stage actor and that's what they do but. let me have this. but that's just how he is. every symptom of autism exists on its own spectrum. some autistics have a very flat affect, very little body language, and very little expressions. some (wilson) have the exact opposite.

house doesn't outwardly show many of his emotions. he definitely feels them, they're very intense, but he doesn't display them. he isn't expressive, and it's not by choice. that's just naturally how he is.

this is more of a headcanon but whatever. wilson likes stim toys. he stims subtly (part of him trying to cling to normalcy. he needs to stim and he knows that but he won't do anything like hand flapping or rocking.), like with a fidget cube or one of those spinny rings. when he's alone, he'll sometimes let himself stim in bigger ways and it's a great release. he doesn't rlly need to stim as much as house does tho. also i think he'd love pressure and cuddling for stimulation. he'd like to be squished.

house is always stimming. this isn't a headcanon. this man is always doing something! pacing, playing with his ball, listening to music, he's always doing something for some sort of stimulation. he likes vestibular stimming and big full body stims best. he likes to move and do things. he likes to be busy. a fidget toy won't do much for him. he was a pretty active person before the infarction, and that was a great release for his emotions. but now he can't do the things he used to so he needs to constantly be moving. he doesn't get a big release so he's just constantly letting it out.

they're both very particular abt their ways of living, but they do not live the same way. wilson likes calm, house likes chaos. if this is disturbed, they get upset and distressed.

wilson has more shutdowns, house has more meltdowns. not to say they don't have both, tho.

also i feel the need to say this: house's special interest is humanity. he loves puzzles and humans are the greatest one of them all. everything he does is motivated by his need to know why people do what they do. oh and also monster trucks.

[westerberg]

I feel like such an ass whenever I try and explain to my sister that I don’t actually think I have autism (she self diagnosed a couple of years ago and was immediately convinced I must have it) but it gets so frustrating when a person who has never bothered to actually try and understand my emotions tries and acts like she understands me “better than I do myself” or whatever… like it really annoys me autistic doesn’t mean “quiet friendless weirdo” like it’s a mental condition and frankly I don’t really relate to the majority of the symptoms… the small extent to which I do I think could be explained by CPTSD/Depression/and maybe ADHD but I’ve never had a thing with overstimulation or meltdowns or have ever had a thought about a foods texture or anything, and I actually kind of hate routine….I don’t seek out small talk but I can be a pretty great conversationalist if I actually click with another person. But I’m not really a person to waste time talking to a person I can tell I don’t click with- which I don’t think is an experience my sister has ever had as far as I can tell. So I think she thinks I’m lying to save face or something and I’m just a horrible socially awkward weirdo incapable of conversation. Like when I said to her I can’t “connect” w/ people my freshman year of college and she thought it was autism- like no, I grew up in a trailer park with an alcoholic dad and my mom died 3 years ago and I’m going to college with 18 yrs olds whose parents are lawyers and go on yearly vacations to Florida- THATS why I can’t connect with them. But she’s so insecure I think she really needs to believe that I have the same issues as her bc she sees me as “cool”

Mostly it’s just I know my sister projects like crazy and I really don’t think she has an understanding of how I go about in the world considering she once tried to diagnose me as a sociopath. She clearly does not respect me as an individual human being with my own individual experiences… and I hate how fucking pathological she has to get with me, in a way it feels massively disrespectful. And she pretends to respect me saying I don’t think I have it but then she’ll do things like try to calm me down by saying “change is hard…” and then later I ➡️ can see that she is understanding me being stressed by something anyone in the world would be stressed by as an “autistic meltdown” (maybe in part bc she understands every problem I’ve ever had as insignificant no matter the situation) which I have seen her have many times and I have definitely never had something like that.

Like I don’t wanna be a dick about autism and part of me worries I’m just getting defensive and then I’d really look like an ass but I genuinely don’t think I have significant autistic traits apart from needing some time alone, sometimes having trouble with making friends (I do think this is much more about environment + bouts of depression than my ability to “connect”), and I do get really obsessed w/ random things but I think it’s more like ADHD in that they tend to be kind of fleeting (but I will NEVER change my Richard Lewis icon even tho that obsession has definitely mostly passed LOL)

[stuckinapril]

hello! i also don't have instagram (and personally i've really enjoyed my time having) but i wanted to also ask how/what your experience has been without it (and also ashstfu's if they want to share :))

p.s. i love your blog mwah!!

Ash has absolutely no regrets hahaha. Like she gives no fucks about not having ig at all. It makes sense bc she’s a lowkey person to begin with / prefers to stay out of the loop. The pros outweigh the cons for me as well, but I’ll give you a comprehensive list anyway so you can make your own conclusions. Hope this helps <3

Cons:

There’s less to talk about w your friends. Unless you talk w that particular friend on a daily basis, not many people will be good about updating you about their lives. I actually found that watching people’s stories helps me start a conversation w them on whatever their stories were about, whereas if you don’t have insta you kind of have to dig. A lot of people are just used to others watching their stories rather than actually having a conversation about it, so this could impede communication w more casual friends (or even close ones honestly if they’re just bad at socializing, which a lot of people are now precisely due to apps like ig).

Lots of casual friendships will fizzle out. Insta is perceived as more casual than text, so many people would rather text you through ig rather than something like iMessage. This shouldn’t be a big con if you don’t care about superficial friends to begin w, but if you do it might be a dramatic change / might start to feel lonely.

Small, independently owned businesses love to update through ig, so if you follow those you’ll need another source to stay in the loop through. Same goes w album drops / tours / tickets. That kind of information is almost always shared through Instagram first.

Orgs love to update through insta as well, whether it be your uni orgs or nonprofit orgs. You’ll have to work a little harder to extract information your peers might have acquired just by checking their stories.

I used to follow the paris review / ny times / the new yorker / the washington post etc etc, and I actually really enjoyed their daily posts/stories. Same goes for the once-a-day poem accounts I followed. This is an easy fix tho bc I just substituted it w subscribing to their daily newsletters / one poem a day newsletters, but if you’re not into that maybe take this into consideration.

You kind of become?? A ghost??? The moment you decide to eschew an ig presence, you become inconvenient to a lot of people who couldn’t be bothered to hit you up & learn what’s going on in your life. So definitely prepare to find out who really cares and who doesn’t when you deactivate insta hahahah. This was a pro to me, but I can understand why it’s a con for a lot of people who like their casual networks.

Pros:

You don’t have the compulsion to check on anybody else. At all. Which is good, bc the human brain is absolutely not designed to know what 800 people are doing at any given moment. It’s too much. It leaves you burned out bc of media consumption overload, but not many people realize this. I realized it once I deactivated Insta & magically started having a will to live again hahah.

You won’t be in an imaginary competition w other people. Instagram is all about glamor. It’s all about fabricating a life that does not actually exist, for the purpose of impressing people you don’t actually know. Once you have insta out of your system, you’ll stop comparing your life w the make-believe lives people on Instagram want you to think are actually real. I had a very bad phase of comparing myself bc of ig, so deactivating it really helped me not be so hard on myself.

No FOMO. You won’t feel like you constantly have to be updated on your insta feed. You don’t need to know what celebrity selfie #827262626 is or story #2728727 is about.

You won’t feel the dying need to be perceived. Every trip isn’t about taking pictures you can post on your ig. Every good thing in your life doesn’t have to be something that gets broadcasted to your followers. You’ll enjoy sweet moments in the privacy of your own mind, and you’ll go somewhere for the simple joy of going somewhere rather than posting about it for validation, and you’ll be more present in general. Big pro for me. Very big pro.

No creeping your significant other’s insta to see who they followed, what they liked, etc. Blessed to have never fallen victim to this.

You’ll actually discover who your real friends are—the people who actually make the effort to hit you up to know what you’re up to, rather than choose the path of least resistance (liking your picture and moving on with their lives a second later).

Less time on your phone!!! This is so important. This genuinely scares me sometimes, bc imagine how many hours it would be if you summed every hour you spent glued to your phone over your whole life. The answer will always be too many. We already have so little time on this earth. Digital minimalism really is the way to go if you want to live a life you won’t abhor on your deathbed. This is not impossible to achieve while also having an ig, but this app has been designed by several people to be as addictive as possible. Sometimes deactivating it is better than simply minimizing it.

[gogolstoelicker]

OB gang with albedo mc ?

Like at first they got the cold treatment (aka how albedo treated anyone and anything he wasn’t interested in)

Then slowly they warmed up and got to see the other side of them ( aka how albedo treated the traveler (kinda smug low-key flirty etc)

OB! gang with Albedo! MC

a/n: •FUCK THAT MAN HE DIDN'T COME HOME EVEN WHEN I WAS GUARANTEED

•if im being honest, albedo would probably be so interest in twst that he could not be cold to them. well maybe some of them but I'll make it work

warning:spoilers abt book 6(that i myself barely know about but here we are)

Friendly and popular, you gained fame for your alchemical talents. Though popular, you have an extreme distaste for social interactions. Barely anyone knows anything of your personal life as you are quite secretive about it.

Fueled by the feeling of enlightenment, you research about the things that pique your interest and once the feeling is gone, you lose all interest. Along with your alchemical genius, you're also a respectable artist.

Riddle:

he had heard u were really good at alchemy and making potions from trey who heard from ace

so he is very much curious about your world and how you got to know alchemy

start up a convo with u when he saw u in the middle of his walk

and you're sketching grim LMAOAOAOA

literally acted like u didn't know he was there bc you're sketching can't he see🙄

riddle thought it was kind of rude and pointed it out

still acted like u dont know

it takes u finsihing the grim drawing for u to even look at him

we all know hes angry so lets skip!!

riddle would like to know the basic alchemy of ur world and got absolutely flabbergasted when u showed him

"how the heck did a magicless student like you managed do that⁉️"

"but that is basic alchemy??" -u after turning dust to a bird

eventually,riddle had to cut the convo short bc he have a schedule to follow🤗so u went back to grim sketching

he tried to invite you to the unbirthday party bc he really enjoyed ur convo

but u declined it

but still went there bc the adeuce duo forced you LMAOAOAOA

so like kapoosh kapow the ob happened and a day after that he got interrogated by u

no break for riddle💀

u were very much interested in how he felt before and after the ob, if anything changes about him after the ob, what was it really that triggered the ob and-

CALM DOWN HES TRYING TO ANSWER ONE BY ONE

you're like "🤔hmm i see" the entire time with this serious face

u also gave him a potion for quick recovery so good for him!!(u gave everyone who overblot btw im just too lazy to write for all)

saw ur sketchbook one and saw some sketches of him

in both his ob form and how he is normally

"🧍why did u drew me"

"u carry a different aura and look different from how u usually do, it's quite fascinating"

"BUT IN THE MIDDLE OF MY OVERBLOT??"

multitasking royalty😂🙌who knew you could draw him while fighting him off

Leona:

you've seen some people with ears like him back in your world so you're not exactly as interested 🤷

even ur assistant have non-human like ears

tho u do wonder if there's anything different abt him since hes technically not from ur world

i dont think yall will interact much before the ob but after? and when book 3 is happening??

knowing how he acts, you're quite disappointed

"not only are u skilled but you're also quite knowledgeable. you could've been something greater if only you could muster up some motivation and ambition in you other than for the throne"

leona goes 🤨🤬you picking a fight or smth⁉️

but then also got goosebumps bc why is this small fry doing analysis of him and how come you know so much already😱

ruggie snickering beside him bc bro got called out so hard

bc hes pissed at u, he quite literally got an A on every single subject LMFOAOAOAOA

mans live off of spite (me too)

you did saw it and was quite pleased hes showing more of his potential

praised him so hard u made his ego bigger

is this... the feeling of recognition😍⁉️ -leona /hj

saw ur sketches of him during ur stay in savanaclaw in book 3

was surprised you captured every single detail about him, lowkey smug abt it

"you were staring at me so hard huh. you could've just asked if you wanted to draw me"

"oh? then by all means, strike up a pose for me. i would love to draw u again"

"...i never said yes, herbivore"

Azul:

not interested in you other than taking ur dorm for business + not interested in him at all

signed the contract anyway bc why not LMAOAOA

totally not bc grim was trying to get u to sign it so bad, no. not at all

anyways now you're homeless and is staying at savanaclaw

lets skip a lil bc i literally have nothing to say

yknow when the tweels tried to sabotage yall?

u literally fend them off using ur geo vision

them: 😧⁉️

they did report to azul

"but that bitch is magicless⁉️" is what he would say if hes not a professional businessman

hes sobbing and crying and clutching his contracts bc how dare⁉️

and u found out he is an octopus like after the blot so yknow what that means

"i would like to see u in that form, if you do not mind"

azul's glasses breaking bc he absolutely refused to

"😕😔a shame but it's alright" *starts studying that childhood pic of him instead*

azul standing right behind u🕴

he did ask why do u wanna see that form of his

and u go "that's something u wouldn't find in my world, i would like to know everything i could know"

the tweels agreed for a price btw

idk whats the price dont ask me

u sometimes visit the lounge bc that place is pretty as hell

notices how u would draw the place sometimes and the gear in his head was working so hard on how to get money from that

peeked into the sketchbook once

saw many sketches of him in his other form or what u think would be his other form

and the way its so accurate😧⁉️

🕴🕴- u and azul

Jamil:

i feel like u would recognize him for his many talents??

and would totally go "why are u hiding it if you know you could do it🤨🤔"

"i do not know what you're talking about☺" -jamil

u just shrug bc oh well. none of ur business

hes kind of glad u decided to drop the topic but also kinda :/ bc there goes his plan if u could see through him that easily

he is quite knowledgeable so u often ask him abt his homeland and their designs there and everything else bc

my god is scarabia pretty😍

u drew scarabia so often its not even funny anymore

and yknow those times he would like hypnotize kalim?

u knew smth was up but decided not to confront jamil abt it

he witnessed u eating a spider one time

he considered letting u go back to ur dorm out of fear LMFAOAOAA

u noticed him and asked if he would like some

U EVEN RECOMMENDED HIM SPIDERS TASTED GOOD WITH THIS AND THIS💀

he was on the verge of tears😔🙏rip jamil, he could've lived a normal life if life loved him enough

u finding out jamil and kalim is a little like subject 2 and u: 😱⁉️(trying to uh replace someone's position or smth)

after the entire blot stuff, he absolutely let u know if theres any bugs around

bc like hell is he fighting those bugs

you're delighted bc yes nutritious foods!!

jamil watching it all:

Vil:

you drew vil quite a lot since he's very pretty

vil is quite drawn to u from the start bc you're also very pretty

has heard of how great you are at making potions and alchemy from epel

so when the program thing happened, hes quite happy that he got to talk to you more

since he was living with u, he could see the many drawings of him and the others (vil and the non-vils. u totally don't play favorite)

vil seeing those beautiful sketches, thinking of ways to promote yalls group with ur talent

he did commission u for it and even offered to pay

u going k sure, i dont mind

vil posted the art on social media and it got so many attention💀

and yknow how vil is so popular and all? yeah so many people asked him to get in touch with u so they could commission u smth bc ur talent is just so😍😍🙏🙏‼️‼️

congrats⁉️it was supposed to be for their promotion but u accidentally got promoted as well

vil is very happy and proud

well after the whole overblot thing, u sometimes visit pomefiore for various other reasons

sometimes bc some famous ppl wanted to get in touch with u, sometimes u just wanna go potion potion with vil

Idia:

he is actually very thankful that you're not interested in him in any way

or so he thought

you're in fact very interested in him

his hair is quite unique to you + his creations are quite interesting to you

"woah unique robots😍" u 5 mins before disaster

and by that i meant a bigass hole in the dorm you're staying in LNFAOAO

so yknow how rook, epel and mc tried to save the others by going to this place they're supposedly brought to?(i dont think i missed anyone)

and my god are u taking ur time

"what is this fascinating creature?" *tries to eat it*

"PREFECT NO!!" -epel and rook

be thankful you're not from their world or else you would've overblot for that

idia and ortho seeing it all🕴🕴

and when idia and ortho came to see yall, you are even more delighted

"i would like to study you, if you do not mind"

idia bc its supposed to be the other way around:

epel, rook and ortho staring at u:

u did ask again after the whole incident and he def did not broke out in cold sweat

[dreamtydraw]

hi there!! so I was recently looking for visual novels to occupy my time with, and I came across 21 questions, so I played it. and I loved it. so I played tulipe. and I liked that one a lot too. then I checked out your social media and I was really curious about the ✨️paranormal club lore✨️, so I just played all of them-

I didn't realize it when I was playing the game, but I've seen a lot of your our life art here on tumblr and I can't get over how pretty it is! even when it's just doodles that you do for fun, I still really like your style cause you make everyone look so nice. even if you're just drawing clem in a clown suit, we still love that

I don’t usually draw anymore because even though I used to like it, I feel like I lack all motivation to do it now, but seeing your art is really giving me inspiration to pick up a paper and a pencil and start drawing again :D

I personally share your love for visual novels, and I enjoy replaying yours because they're honestly so nice. I guess I just like seeing the way the story progresses and how relatable the characters feel, especially as a non-binary person who struggles to see themselves represented in games. plus I just like the voice acting in 21 questions

if I'm honest, even if it wasn't my usual genre of romance, night shift was a good play as well, especially for your first game! I can feel the inspiration from horror games and I love those types of things sm. I get why you'd wanna go back and redo it someday, but I think especially in terms of the plot and characters, it had a captivating plot and it was well written... françoise betrayed us tho rip

also this isn't about the games but from what I've seen, it honestly feels like you're a really nice person who happens to be really talented and so you deserve really nice things. even if you haven't been getting them until now, I hope you do start because you deserve it!! I like reading your visual novel rambles bc I agree with a lot of stuff, just me nodding my head in agreement like I wouldn't look crazy if anyone saw me. and it feels nice to see that people still talk about fictif stories to this day cause god they've been collecting dust 😭 I miss those days where I'd be so excited whenever an update was announced... guess I'll never get my rime route now :(

lastly, I just wanna say that I love clem sm. they're literally so cool but still so adorable and I wanna give them all the love and affection. I want us to bake together and then paint each other's nails 💅

and this question has been keeping me awake at night so I just have to ask, I know that at the end of the game he said we'd keep in contact like aurore and her partner, but would they let mc just. follow them to London while he does his thing? there's no point in being in France without your blond french, and I've always wanted to move to an english speaking place anyways... clem can put me in their suitcase, I'll be good 🫶

thank you for listening to my silly rambles, I hope you're having a good day and if not, I really hope it gets better! remember to take care of yourself and take breaks whenever you need them, you're only human so you aren't always gonna be perfect, but at least you know you always try your best even if things don't go the way you want them to <3

Anon whoever you are I love you and I really wish you a wonderful day I started sobbing a bit too hard and now my eyes kinda hurt a bit but your message makes me feel a lot of things and I’m really grateful for such kindness. I’m fucking crying on my poor plushies cause I don’t have tissue, they are all wet and miserable 😭😭😭😭 Words trully can’t explain how much this message means to me, like, this is the kind of message that i’ll keep in my phone gallery to look at when i feel sad and it’s just so sweet and it rassure all the bad things I think about myself so I’m very emotional. It’s 2 am and I had a very long day so I physically and emotionally don’t handle it well but i promise it’s / pos i’m just blabling incoherent thoughts just to say thank you so much and I’m glad you enjoy what I create and I’m glad you draw again and I hope you find joy in making stuff you like + you get soft and cold pillow at night and warm meals in winter anon.

Now i am so sad to spread bad news BUT…. The canon ending of 21 questions is the platonic ending. 21q happens in 2019, Clem move to London in 2021 and ( spoiler alert ) will be spotted in Apple bag which takes place in 2022. Clem’s character and story haven’t entirely been revealed in his game for reasons that I’ll hopefully share in a futur but it’s for the same reasons that realistically… the relationship in 21q is destined to end with distance.

BUT that not the end if you imagine a future with Clem. If your intention is to romance them then there is an open window for the timeline where he’s a bit older. When exactly ? I won’t spoil but all I have to say is that this relationship can work on long term ! It’s just a good person, wrong moment situation and once you know everything about him, then his romance options become more real :}

Mystic talk sorry, like i said i just had an emotional breakdown and it’s late so i will shut my mouth and go to sleep ! Once again thank you so much for your kind words an hopefully you’ll like what I plan to release in the future. Tons of love ❤️

[void-thegod]

I am in one of those moods.

probably bc I have been feeling good all week.

so I have to crash.

don't wanna eat or go outside.

too much peopling the last two weeks.

tired.

it's beautiful tho. besides being broke my life is pretty good actually.

but.

well. I just have to let it go, don't I?

I'm not going to have...that.

look on the brightside.

look on the brightside.

look on the brightside.

people forget that we exist in this world "whole" - body mind and soul - they all affect the other. and sometimes you can mind over body or spirit over both.

but sometimes you're fucked up physically and you have to take care of it. it's affecting you mentally.

or you're fucked up mentally and it's affecting you physically and/or spiritually.

or you're fucked up spiritually and you're just fucking up some things and not others. and so on.

like.. do people understand what's it's like to always be under assault or strain in one of these areas and have almost none or no support? what it's like to be a minority with social issues and physical issues (chronic and accute)?

it's a godddamn nightmare.

this shit. and people. goddamn the fuckinh people.

sometimes they're good. so good. and other times they may as well be demons. really.

I'm tired. I've over extended myself. I need to eat. and maybe get a little sun and sugar.

but mostly?

MOSTLY?

i actually need the goddamn love ive been seeking from another human being for my whole life. yeah

i actually need the sort of love that's described with words like soul mate, eternal, unconditional

and to feel that same love for the other person..

and every time. idk. i get overwhelmed? too excited. too ready and committed. i fall fast and hard.

i know what i like. i know who and how and what i am. if i want to love you.. i will give you everything short of what i cannot give you.

like my cats. or my health (bc wtf)

but i would try so very hard to do everything in my power to support. i would be the most loyal and loving person. i would learn you inside and out. how to pleasure, how to relieve, how to teach, how to learn, how to be and be there.

...

maybe that frightens people.

i'm just an anxious cringefail guy. i'm pretty boring, i'd say. but im hot and smart and funny and talented. i like to get better at anything i do. i'm always curious. love cats and nature and science and thunderstorms and autumn and life and strange things

ranting. gah. i just need to get it out of me.

because .. i know i'll never find the love im looking for.

i'm tired

i'm more likely to gain enlightenment than to find the woman im looking for

so imma devote myself to that 🤷🏽‍♂️

[lettucedloophole]

i never considered sex also being a social construct, and when you pointed that out, (ESP W THE USE OF DWORKINS QUOTE OMFG) it literally blew my mind, including the fact we don’t know what a society looks like outside of patriarchy. i’m having some trouble tho w homosexuality as a social construct. did you mean that in a way where the term and idea of homosexuality is a social construct bc all love is the same, and shouldn’t be classified as such bc of the fact we think its “different”?

also totally unrelated to the specific topic but still on the basis of radical feminism, how do you keep pushing? lately i’ve been feeling like its so hopeless bc i hardly see any significant change happening in the western world, one of the biggest examples is like how u said everyone wants to defend the status quo, and that contributes to my feelings of “im only one person i cant change it all by myself in my community and inspire others to do the same so i should just give up”. i know i won’t really be able to go back to how blissfully ignorant i once was :��) and that’s probably what keeps me from leaving rad feminism bc there’s just so much truth in it and i know i’d rather me and every other human in the world be liberated than give in and live a life with even more misery but there’s still times where i have those thoughts of complying and it just sucks. i gave up my skincare routine (now its just cleanser and moisturizer & the occasional sunscreen if might be out in the sun), makeup, fashion marketed towards women, porn, FANFICTION 😭, crushing on men, dating men, and even being friends w men. i didn’t give up my libido but it disappeared on its own bc of everything i continue to learn. i realize how deep misogyny is in our society and culture and just want to isolate myself from everyone. I CANT RUN FROM IT NO MATGER WHAT THO……💔

for homosexuality as a social construct; kind of. if sex is a social construct (i.e., the categories of male & female don't exist outside of society), it follows that sexuality is as well-- especially because the social construct of women & man are packaged with expectations of submission (to man), pregnancy, confinement to the home, and domination (of women), all but the last trait for women. in patriarchal mythos the class of people defined as "women" are supposed to be heterosexual, and the same goes for men.

the only context which heterosexuality exists in is under patriarchy, so it's impossible to untangle from bioessentialistic complementarianism. similarly, homosexuality is also a construct of patriarchy, albeit a positive subversion / defiance of the heterosexual structure of relationships. but when sex is eventually abolished, and men + women no longer exist, current classifications of sexuality will disintegrate with them. instead of 'man attracted to woman' or 'women attracted to other women', we will just have people liking people, & relationships formerly regarded as homosexual will no longer suffer a stigma compared to heterosexual ones.

if we argue that people are just "born" as heterosexual or gay without investigating what in society makes hetero or homosexuality so appealing or alien & disturbing (the patriarchy), we concede that homosexuals are naturally unnatural (in that, so little of the world is bisexual or gay or asexual under patriarchy, and this is not because of patriarchy, but "nature". therefore, the order of patriarchy is made acceptable through naturalization.)

-

ANYWAYS, onto your more important question... resisting mental domination, as bell hooks put it. unfortunately this is the hardest thing to answer as i myself haven't even gotten it down yet :') i relate to what you're saying so much, and a lot of other radfems do, so know that you're not alone even if it feels that way.

if i could talk to myself when i first Rad(fem)icalized, i would say... don't be too hard on yourself. we're all suffering from a lifetime of gendered socialization which basically amounts to self harm for women 💀 i went Ham with the radfem stuffs, giving up makeup & sexualized fashion & shaving, and it was relatively easy for me since i was already quite gnc & angry lol, but.

while i think it's good to give up much of that stuff, the world's not gonna explode if you struggle or give yourself some exceptions. don't let up on anything that gets in the way of your personal/political liberation, at least not for a long time, but. don't let people online jerk you around or make you feel like you're a bimbo for wearing makeup or whatever. some internet terfs can be reallyyy misogynistic if you adhere to gender roles or. don't hate trans people.

when you feel angry, don't turn it inward. it's something women & gender minorities do way too much. if you're not comfortable expressing it, though i think expressing it "unhealthily' (screaming at someone, breaking a plate) is better than pointing it at yourself, find a healthy and / or productive way to release it. we are trying to avoid this aspect of female socialization ↓

it's also mega important to remember that... it's easy to think men don't understand the patriarchy, but they do. the thing is, though, they don't give women grace for struggling with sexist socialization and use it as "proof" that women are actually inferior. women who are aware of the patriarchy but have no faith in other women do this as well. have faith in other women. have faith in trans people. have faith in gay & bi people. their liberation is tantamount to your own. and i don't mean individual gender minorities who are assholes... just don't let those assholes make you lose faith in these groups as a whole.

honestly i feel like there's a lot more i could say but idk, don't want to bury you in words lol. feel free to send more asks or message me if there's anything i can elaborate on or help you with! or even if you just need someone to talk to. much love, anon :') 🫶

[luna-sheep]

autism rambling

sometimes i think about the post someone made about how when autistic people meet each other, they often either get along super well or can't stand each other for reasons unrelated to their character

not sure how true it is, BUT it makes me think back to college when i was trying to be friendly with this girl in my class who was neurodivergent (don't know what genre)

i wasn't sold on the idea of me being autistic yet. But i wanted to befriend her, she made her own clothes and liked history.

i was internally like "ok, what do we know? when we wanna be friends with someone, we smile, initiate conversations, and opening with a personalized compliment is good. Talk about her clothes. that can lead to more talking!"

so using all my hard-learned social skills i opened a script, only to hit a total wall. she was scowling, wouldn't look at me or talk much. from my end, this all indicated she was upset with me or irritated. So i backed off, dismayed.

i kept thinking "ahhh what did i mess up? did i insult her somehow? what buttons can i press to make the situation work right?"

she may not have meant anything by her behavior, could just be how she was! but i couldn't figure out how to work with her.

looking back, it's funny to see how strategic and scripted i was being! i didn't even think of it that way, they were "tactics" i had learned only after years of trial and error.

can't fault the girl, i myself only learned i should smile when I greet people well into high school.

I doubted i was autistic for a looong time bc i was like "i don't use scripts tho!!! no one taught me scripts! (like what you learn in class)

yeah girl, no one taught you. you taught yourself after a long, lonely childhood. lmao.

in high school, i also considered "studying" and taking notes on the behaviors and social rituals of my peers to write an anthropology book of some sort. I often spoke of humans as an outsider, because the people i knew felt so foreign and unrelatable to me.

[lemonlovemeanslove]

while im on the topic, i wonder how much i personally have contributed to this problem, bc when it comes to making friends irl, where i can see what the person looks like before i get to know them, i have always hanged out and made friends with pretty people, with people that i find attractive. not bc im attracted to them per say, its more of an unconscious thing. and yes my idea of beauty goes beyond what social media said bc ive been friends with plenty of fat people, but thats bc i dont see fat as not attractive, not in other people , with me its more difficult bc ive been bullied by my mother about my weight since age 14 so im kinda sick when it comes to this topic in general, but that doesn't change the fact that the girls who i would consider to be amongst the best looking out of all girls ive been friends with was also the biggest, in both height and weight. But it feels like an excuse, bc if i don't find fatness to be a deterrer from beauty, doesn't that make me just as shallow?

i also realize that i actually dont have the greatest authority on this topic, being conventionally attractive, which my sister (who is STUNNING btw) reminded me of when we were talking about how looks really aren’t that important, when really, they are, its just that we have always benefited from that fact, and never really been victims of it (expect from our mother who HATES and i mean HATES our bodies, like my sister has never in her life been overweight, even by the bullshit medical definition, and yet she’s been called everything under the sun by our mom lmao)

I just think that i might actually not be that objective when it comes to this stuff. Like me not wearing makeup has NEVER been a on im going against society thing, or I actively dont want to participate in this aspect of the beauty change. I thought of it was boring and the idea of wearing something on my face is a sensory nightmare for me. i feel like im being suffocated when i wear makeup or nail polish, like i can feel it on me, which made me anxious. But if I hadn’t come from a family of good looking people with great skin, if i at any point in my life had struggled with acne, or anything similar, would I have submitted? despite how unpleasant wearing makeup is for me from a sensory point of view? bc im most certainly fucked up about weight and food and eating, and how falling into phases of disordered eating plenty of times in my life. idk if any of it would count as an eating disorder, i dont know what ''counts'' or what doesn’t (sorries if this is a very triggering way of speaking about this stuff just trying to be honest). But if i didnt know that my face was ''good'' lol, would my mess around body image be worse of? if i could rely on my face? bc its always been a comfort for me, being pretty. like im not a model which is fine bc i dont want to be, i don’t really want to look different face wise, I do really like my face. I would never rate my fave tho bc i think its sick to rate yourself the sick sick behaviour like never ever do it if people ask u to do it tell them no im not doing that weirdo. but like, when ive been upset of felt like a failure and i walk past a mirror i can stop and go well at least i have that god i love being pretty. i don’t really think that makes me a bad person, just that it's probs bad FOR me. to centre my looks less, which i dont do a lot compared to most girl my age (which isnt really saying anything given how fucked up everyone is nowadays) is probably in my best interest. But it's HARD. bc i really enjoy being pretty. i enjoy finding myself pretty I enjoy others finding me pretty. like this whole thing started bc i was introduced to a stranger and the first thing she said to me was wow ur really beautiful, like she looks great, and my friend said yes im always telling her that. and it make me feel GREAT. maybe better than i should. def more that we should, as humans.

At the same time, i worry about not being good looking enough for my family, like my parents are good looking, essentially my mom, who is gorge, and all my siblings are good looking, and i get this worry sometimes, like, what if im the least good looking of my siblings (i think this bc im the biggest out of all of them) which is crazy bc were siblings so we all look alike and several people have asked if me and my older sister are twins when they first meet us and she is pretty much my idea of beautiful but idk. Im fucked up both ways, i guess. I was never never ever self-conscious about my weight until my mother, so now im sick in that regard, but im also sick in the way i use my looks as a crutch. I need to work on both, admitting it to myself is probs a good first step or whatever. rant over i think

[piplupod]

OH BIG SIGH!!!

[wildermouse]

so basically i am pretty sure i’m autistic and i’ve suspected this for years now, but i am constantly talking myself down from it, saying it’s actually just bad social anxiety and i’m not autistic and i’m just grasping at straws or whatever the fuck. looking for something other than ‘just anxiety’ to blame all my issues on.

now there are definitely reasons i think i’m autistic that have nothing to do with social anxiety and that’s why i question it so much. major sensory issues with food and smells and sounds for example, being a human encyclopedia and vessel for lots and lots of facts i spew at random times. there are many more (..pages more) but this isn’t the point rn.

autistic issues with socialization are primarily not picking up on social cues, too little or too much eye contact, lack of empathy (this is bullshit tho). like basically being oblivious to how nts communicate i guess - not picking up on facial/body expressions, tones in voice like sarcasm and hinting at things.

but i’m sometimes that but mostly the opposite, which would be the main symptoms of social anxiety. i feel i’m hypersensitive to peoples tones and expressions, though i don’t often look at peoples faces. i’m aware if they take a step away from me or sound disinterested in what i say, and my head runs wild with anxiety at the tiniest thing thinking i’m annoying and a burden and should spare everyone having to socialize with me.

and because of that, i keep talking myself out of thinking i’m autistic. but then i also wonder- if i can read social cues but can’t actually portray them properly myself, is that a social anxiety trait as well or an autistic trait? i really don’t know. and i don’t really know how i socialize bc i kinda black out during it most of the time lol, but i do know it’s nearly always painfully awkward because of me. i’ve been called rude when i was not trying to be and didn’t think i was being, ive been told people didn’t think i liked them bc of how i interacted with them, which wasn’t the case. i’ve been told i’m weird or cute bc of my social awkwardness.

anyway my main point of this post is: what exactly are some examples of social cues you often miss as an autistic person? the more specific the better.

because i wonder if i think i can understand them but in reality actually don’t. i sometimes have a hard time knowing what specifically people mean by certain things so i’m wondering if i just have the wrong idea of social cues in general? also being raised by who i was raised by would probably have an impact, no? because i was basically raised by sarcasm. my family doesn’t know how to be serious and i’ve become hyper aware of sarcasm (especially my dad’s) to avoid embarrassment and come up with witty comebacks. same with passive aggression. my dad has always been passive aggressive and it’s also just a very canadian way to deal with things and i hate it but i grew up with it so it’s easy to detect for me. it’s all learning right?

i could go on, and on, ….and on, but i’m gonna leave it at that for now.

[ppnuggie]

hello ppnuggie <3

can i have a lost in space match up please :3?

i go by sunny, my pronouns are she/they and im omnisexual!!

i have short, curly ginger hair and a lot of freckles,, im planing on getting little solar systems tattoed on diffrent clutters of freckles which is not really relevant ig but,, freckles

my eye color is a mix of blue and green and people have actually argued over what my eye color is at school lol,, i dont really have an aesthetic but i do have these really cool pants with doodles on them and a little ufo on the back pocket that says "i need space"

i have a very cheery personality around friends and i would literally die for them,, i dont express myself around my family as much because they can be really judgy and im really sensitive,, and if im around someone i absolutely hate/someone who has wronged me significantly, i will let them know exactly how i feel - if i do have an issue with someone i will always try to solve the issue in a civil mannar without hurting their feelings,, i rely on communication a lot and its an important thing to me with different relationships

but other than that, im very friendly with new people and friends, im very open and try very hard not to be intimidating, because as an antisocial and socially anxious person ik how it feel when talking to knew people,, im definitely more confident over social media and texts than i am in person.

im an artist!!! im graduating a year early from high school and going to one of the country's best art schools!! ive had art set as acareer path in my brain since the 5th grade,, art is my life

i also dabble in creative writting, mostly fanfics but its just so incredible to come up with stories,, im a big book worm,, if im not drawing or watching cartoons/syfi films im reading, could be ao3, wattpad, tumblr fics, poetry, or a physical book i bought, i will read it

i love syfi and action that simmer in some romance ya know,, it just hits diffrent,, especially alien robot themed syfi,, idk my brain just eplodes when i see space robots

i hate being surrounded by clutter, my surroundings affect my mental state so i try to be as clean as possible to keep my attitude and motivation up :))

i have anxiety + social anxiety,, especially if im alone in crowded/public spaces- went on a college field trip once in middle school and i had a break down at taco bell because none of my friends were there and i was surrounded by strangers,, students or not,,

i hate broccoli and coliflower and public speaking/presentation assignments

im sorry if this is too much? ive never asked for a match up before but the ones ive seen are kinda lengthy so im not too sure :// i might do another match up ask in the future for tfp if its still open i love those funky dudes

anyways thank you for reading my tf stuff and requesting it was the highlight of my week !!! :D

ahh tysm for requesting !! 🥹🥹🙏❤️ im so sorry i havent been able to reply to the comments and stuff you make on my posts 😭😭 i promise im not ignoring you ,, its just this isnt my main blog but instead a side blog ,, my main one i dont bother or toucb anymore 😭😭 but my dms are definitely open if you ever wish to talk or so <33 and np !! i cant wait to see the finished result for the request :D i like your work so much 🥹 its rlly good !! heres you matchup <33 under the thing ,, and dw ,, you can request again for tfp bc no ones rlly requested so far 😭🙏 congrats on the art school tho ! :D hope you do have fun with that !!

𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 : robot !! :D

𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐃𝐄𝐒 :

• he would stay around you often ,, not bothering to spend time with others and instead stick close to you unless you told him not to

• hes very curious about you ,, lights swirling around inside the glass on his face ,, he finds you interesting and nice to be around

• whilst hes not all that sure about humans just yet ,, as they all act differently from one another ,, he does feel safer and more comfortable around you

• whenever he catches glimpses of your drawings he tilts his head to the side ,, wondering about them in his mind

• he loves to see your drawings ,, how each varies differently from one to another ,, it just makes more memories for him

• he has tried to draw something for you before ,, wanting to indulge in this littke artistic hobby of yours and make something ,, though it was only in the dirt as he doesnt know how to use pencils and stuff yet

• he’ll help you with public spaces and crowds and strangers as best as he can ,, making it known hes there for you shall you need some reassurance <3

𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐎

the small stick glided around in the dirt ,, shapes starting to form as he moved it about. he had his mind focused on a plant form ,, gazing back and forth at it as he tried to mimick its shaping. the lights swirled softly inside the glass ,, hand moving to make another shape.

once finished ,, he turned to look up at you. the lights never once stopped swirling ,, a soft hum coming from robot as he awaited for your reaction. laid there in the dirt had been a mishapened flower ,, the one just a little bit in front of you two.

he hoped you liked it somewhat ,, hoping you’ll enjoy his creation as much as he enjoys yours. the lights slowed their pace ,, blue gazing into your eyes as he awaited.

[thebreakfastgenie]

Sending this as an ask so it doesn't need to be a public conversation unless you want it to be. I noticed in the tags of your post about being uncertain you said you don't identify as disabled "but tumblr would consider you to bc of your adhd". And I guess I'm kind of curious about your reasoning if you want to share (no pressure tho). Mostly bc in my experience as someone who is both autistic & has adhd those things very much are disabling in a world where most people *aren't* like that. Just in a "the world was not built for this and I have to work to accommodate myself in a way others usually don't". And I'm also curious why you feel like adhd "would be considered a disability by tumblr specifically" bc, well, it very much *is* a disability under the ADA as well as most definitions of disability. I've also mostly encountered people who don't think of themselves as disabled when they have adhd (or are autistic or have some form of learning or social disability) bc they either a) are dealing with internalized abelism, b) were raised in a way that very much treated said disability as a normal variation of the human condition & were accommodated well & taught how to accommodate themselves, or c) their whole family or most of their family is like them so they never realized their way of interacting with the world was different (and occasionally d) all of the above).

So I guess I'm just curious your reasons for why you don't consider yourself disabled & also if it's more of a not considering yourself Disabled with a capital D (as in someone who is or wants to be part of a greater disability community) or disabled little d (as in someone with a condition that is disabling at times that they account for and accommodate in their life).

This was worded kind of oddly, sorry about that, my brain is slightly mush atm. Also please don't feel pressured to answer publicly or even at all, I'm mostly just curious bc people's reasons for identifying or not identifying with certain traits and/or communities tends to fascinate me, but I recognize I asked a personal question which you have zero obligation to answer.

I am going to answer this publicly because it's the only way to answer directly and get to keep the ask. In the future, if you want a private conversation, don't hesitate to DM me! I think it was worded quite clearly!

This isn't easy to explain but I'll do my best!

It's kind of all of the above and none of the above at the same time. I'm very aware that ADHD is a disability; it functions as one for my older sibling. The reason I specified tumblr is because I was posting on tumblr. I was basically saying my audience would include me under this umbrella, but I don't personally see myself that way.

I am also not exactly legally defined as disabled. My actual ADHD diagnosis is sort of a gray area. I only started referring to myself as having ADHD without a disclaimer a few months ago when I read the report that was written about me as a child. It said I fit the diagnostic criteria for ADHD, however, I never took the process any further than that. I've never had accommodations, and while there are situations where they might make things easier for me, I haven't felt that I've needed them. This isn't internalized ableism or some feeling that the "hard way" is somehow morally superior; it has to do with the ways I feel are best for managing my own brains and needs. I've also never taken medication and I don't know if I ever will.

We all have things that are easy for us and things that are hard for us. I think of the symptoms of my ADHD as "these things are more difficult for me" along the spectrum of human experience. That's not mutually exclusive with thinking of it as a disability, I just don't for myself personally. My older sibling has been on ADHD medication as long as I can remember and needs it to function. My dad also has ADHD. Many of my closest peers growing up had ADHD. So there is an extent to which it's both normalized and to which I'm "less" ADHD in comparison. I don't think either of those is the reason I feel this way, but since you brought it up I thought it was worth acknowledging.

It did take me a while, I think, to understand that certain specific things about the way I interact with the world aren't universal, but at the same time I was always aware that the way I interacted with the world overall wasn't typical. Also, I'm still trying to figure out exactly what is going on because my ADHD symptoms are all significantly affected by my menstrual cycle and were much less prominent when I was taking hormonal birth control.

Honestly when it comes to "identifying" as something, even if I technically "qualify," if I don't feel totally comfortable claiming the label I just don't. That's the reason. Why I don't feel totally comfortable claiming the label is another question that I don't necessarily have the answer to. Part of it is that I have disabled people in my life and my experiences feel different to theirs. Part of it, probably most of it, is that I don't really identify as anything.

I've mentioned this before, but I use gay and lesbian as descriptive terms rather than identities. I simply don't think about identity the way it's typically framed on tumblr. I only have one identity: me. When it comes to neurodivergence and mental health specifically, I honestly just think about it in terms of "this is how my brain works."

I'm not sure if this made any sense or if it really answered the question. I love and deeply respect the disabled community I try to be aware of disability rights as an issue (and btw you'd be amazed how many people don't think of the ADA as a civil rights law), but I feel that's motivated by caring about others, not by a personal connection.

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Do you think they would actually enjoy the modern world? Or would they want to stay in their current time period?

Hm, well, I think that may vary depending on each suitor if I’m honest! (I’ll be excluding Sebastian from this one, only because he is a modern man and I wager he would want to stay in the mansion in order to finish his thesis) 

Under a cut bc it’s a long boi:

I think for people like Arthur and Theo, for instance--who always seem to live in the fast lane--it might not really prove much of a problem. They would continue enjoying the night life and move with their busy schedules. Tl;dr: (For them? Same shit, different day)

Vincent would likely be doing just fine given how Theo often provides assistance in places where he struggles; to promote his art, to spark intrigue in the general public and benefactors. He might be a little overwhelmed by the influx of stimuli that comes with the modern era, constant noise and interaction and movement--perhaps worry that people are losing their ability to live in the moment. (Not to mention what’s being done to the environment...) There might be a learning curve/adjustment, but I think Theo would help him ease in. Plus, it would be a little easier to promote his art given the less stringent restrictions on public exhibitions. He’d still have to work for his fame, but at least the van Goghs wouldn’t have to live in constant unease in the proximity of the cutthroat academy.  Tl;dr: (Mixed feelings, but tries to stay positive about modern times)

Dazai is more familiar with this kind of life of quick turmoil and breakneck speed, if anything he falls back into his old coping mechanisms--hello writing, drinking, and smoking. An overwhelming influx of information and suffering would probably be hard for him to manage, despite how expertly he hides it. I think I would be worried he would lose himself in the dismal reality of diminished connection with other people. Yes I’m shoving him into therapy, I want him to start living for himself and taking care of himself ffs

That isn’t to say there aren’t happy possibilities for him, just that I think he really needs to heal first. I could see him very happy in a kind of writer’s circle with people he loves and trusts; less expending his energy in a desperate attempt to fill the void and please others, more cultivating his own happiness... Tl;dr: (Positive potential, but honestly part of me thinks the past quieter/simple/rural life suits him better...he still loves meme culture tho, he finds it so expansive and creative)

Isaac is in a similar boat as Dazai, I think! He has wonderful potential as a mentor and professor, and living in a world that has a little more patience and respect for genius might help encourage him to put himself out there. That being said, I think the pace of life would exhaust him though--he is very much the kind of person that prefers to keep to himself and just puzzle and tinker. Baby boy just wants to do equations, build little inventions, and read up on the recent discoveries in astrophysics (BRUH WHEN THE IMAGE OF THE BLACK HOLE CAME OUT HE FORGOT HOW TO B R E A T H E) Napoleon is the only reason he eats anything healthy or on any kind of regular schedule s m h. Tl;dr: (Not a lot changes, honestly? He was reclusive then, he still is now--he just has more toys/academic resources. If anything he might get a little too lost in his work because of it, somebody please make sure he’s eating/sleeping/socializing;;;)

Poor Jeanne is SUFFERING. Please release him from this nightmare he is begging. Jk jk, I don’t think it would be too bad for him--but I do think that he would have the aforementioned problem of too many stimuli and too much interaction. I think he would ease into it a little with Mozart’s help; he would just be awkward and wooden until he got the hang of it. Most people just find him quirky in an amusing way, and don’t think too hard about it. I’d wager he’d probably become literate at this point because of the abundance of resources and necessity to read/write (okay but imagine this baby with a little kid workbook iM GONNA CRY!!! TAKE ALL MY CRAYONS JEANNE). 

Can you imagine this mofo at a Starbucks??? Tall and stoic, dark and debonair (EVERYONE IS S W O O N I N G), and he just asks in a light tenor “can I have a mocha with eight shots of expresso” with a completely straight face. “Sir, that could kill you” “Don’t worry, I’ve been dead a long time” And he just moves to wait for his order. 11/10 cryptid I could watch an entire show just about his daily adventures

He works with Napoleon a lot given their similar skillsets. They coach kids at high schools that have fencing teams (it’s really REALLY cute bc if they’re on the younger side, Jeanne will very dramatically lose bc he wants to encourage them and the kids are delighted--but the parents are INCHES from laughing so hard they’re in tears). Otherwise, he mostly takes up gigs as a security worker/bodyguard, only really works for the money. He prefers to spend his time in ways that feel meaningful if he can, so don’t be surprised if you see him in foster homes and in social working spaces. He has an uncanny understanding about him, a kind of silence/patience that doesn’t stifle; it makes the kids/teens calm down in milliseconds. They really listen when he does talk, and he sets good and clear boundaries--he knows how to be firm when it’s required. He gives them the structure and placid grounding they’ve never had, and really pays attention to what’s important to them. Brings them little things he notices; brings flowers to the one that likes to draw, brings CDs (he is bad with technology, but they usually only have access to older/outdated stuff anyway) to the one the one that struggles to write with white noise in the house, brings little plushies to the ones that lose theirs. He’s simple but solid, and he finds a lot of meaning in helping kids overcome the similar kind of struggles he faced.  Tl;dr: (Steep learning curve, but he just sees it as all the same really--just more work to be done with the literacy requirement and adjustment to technology. Will be resistant at first, but when he gets accustomed and starts finding people who are important to him, he wouldn’t want to change anything/go back. But will admit there are some days he just wants to go to the most remote place he can access and just live there for a month with no human interaction whatsoever; people are inefficient and insufferable sometimes)

Mozart’s life honestly doesn’t change much? I feel like he would easily be able to keep composing and continue releasing his work as per usual. Given his quick capacity to schmooze and say what people want to hear when he must, he’d be more than able to network his way into success. I think the only thing he might struggle with now and again is inspiration, given the world operates on a very surface level in the modern era sometimes. Profound insight and depth are not quite as cultivated in many ways, and he can struggle to find something that just sparks motivation/novelty in his mind, makes him start composing at breakneck speed. He reads a lot and watches some TV shows/movies when he’s at really low inspiration levels, the kind of guy that sneers at Game of Thrones--but finds things like BBC’s Sherlock more passable (wants intrigue and complexity, doesn’t much enjoy the sensationalized drivel). When Arthur finds out he loves ATLA he about falls off his seat. “It’s a children’s show.” “Yes it is, with a remarkable level of depth and craftsmanship, what are you trying to say?” He begins to find a kind of rhythm in his composing, and Jeanne and Dazai often drop by with so many crazy stories he finds himself filled with music anyway LMAO Tl;dr: (Same as Isaac, really just keeps doing his thing without being impeded, and he enjoys the luxuries/conveniences of the modern era. Will be slightly resistant at first because of how alien some of the changes are, but will fall into the habits/customs slowly and surely. Fine with it, will whine a bit at the growing pains tho)

Leonardo actually canonically owns a bar, and does that really surprise anyone? He really enjoys the excitement of meeting new people and hearing about their myriad histories, the influx of cultures/languages/experiences. It’s a nice but lowkey place, people stop for a drink, listen to some good music--chat amiably and relax after a long day’s work--before heading out. There are regulars and people that just stop for that single day; tourists, vacationers, so on and so forth.

When asked, many people note a sleek black cat with sharp eyes that led them to the bar... Tl;dr: (Don’t Let the Existential Dread Set-in: The Prequel, adapts well to the modern era because of centuries of experience but also...he’s so tired...somebody please hold him I can’t watch him live like this, lord jesus)

Optimally, I see Comte filling his time with myriad pursuits; ranging from philanthropy, indulging in art/music/theatre (often a benefactor as well), and keeping track of his chirren (they may exist more independently now, but he still worries about them ;-;). Otherwise nothing much changes for him, still goes to galas and fancy gatherings, still enjoys fashion and spoiling people, still seeks to occupy himself with social interaction and care-taking--if he doesn’t have a family of his own. He’s basically just that meme that’s like DON’T LET THE EXISTENTIAL DREAD SET-IN. DON’T LET IT SET-IN!!!!!!!!! Tl;dr: (Not to repeat myself but also Don’t Let the Existential Dread Set-in: The Sequel, literally just desperately trying to fill the void please somebody help him he also just needs to be held fuck’s sake, I’m going to drag him kicking and screaming into happiness--but otherwise has no great trouble adjusting to the modern era. I feel like he would have a more minor form of what Dazai struggles with, maybe a lack of personable connection that he once had; fewer chances to be himself and relax. Also probably worried about the increasing unhappiness and turmoil building in the world in general...)

Napoleon is similar to Comte in that he often checks up on Isaac and Jeanne from time to time, and does the aforementioned fencing lessons with kids. He also takes a lot of basic security positions--for venues, concerts, museums--you name it. He dislikes the idea of sitting behind a desk a lot, so he prefers to do a lot of different things; he even cooks from time to time at the restaurants  that know him very well. One gig he particularly enjoys is battle choreography for movies/theatre! He tends to stay away from anything too historically close to his era of origin, but he has fun coming up with realistic (smaller scale) hand-to-hand combat scenarios and duels. Tl;dr: (This era doesn’t feel like too much of a change. It’s a little more intensive in terms of pace, but he manages to keep up pretty well, it just exhausts him from time to time--and he usually goes on trips or hikes to unwind when he needs to like Jeanne LOL they do not go to their happy place, they go to their high lonesome place).

Shakespeare also continues to do his drama thing, organizes troupes on tons of different levels--from community level to more intense, skilled groups that re-enact his own work. His life doesn’t change all that much beyond a new form of theatre logistics, and he adjusts to the technology fairly easily out of necessity. He’ll stop by Vincent’s place from time to time to show him recordings of his latest shows, but otherwise is almost always on the move. Tl;dr: (So long as he can keep following his greatest passion, he doesn’t really mind the changes in how theatre happens--he doesn’t have any sizable issues with the modern era.)

Ability with technology (phones mostly):

Arthur: more than capable, well-versed, loves to do everything on his phone no prob--maybe lives a little too much on his phone (Vine/TikTok/Youtube can kill his productivity RIP) also yes he has a fidget spinner on his desk, no I will not be taking any constructive criticism at this time

Theo: yes but with a lot of cursing at first, had to do it for work and now looks down on anyone that can’t keep up with him (except for Vincent)

Vincent: knows the basics, taking and sending pictures, writing things in notes for later, texting (tho sending emails is a little harder for him); he does his best but he can be slow. Really really enjoys the paint programs on his iPad for when he’s on public transit, but he starts setting alarms after he gets the hang of it (he’s missed his stops before because of it LMAO)

Leonardo: what kind of stupid question? Man knows how to pick them apart and put ‘em back together for crying out loud, uses it like a pro--comes to him naturally, and he’s the guy that keeps coming up with ways to jailbreak Apple products and thwart their money-grubbing tactics. Catch him playing Minish Cap on his emulator on the way to work, brah

Comte: just vibing, keeps up with the times easily since he’s been doing it for so long, much like Theo uses it to keep in touch with the people around him--he’s the “prefers to call instead of text” sorta guy though, he worries about losing emotional subtleties and he likes to hear people’s voices. Doesn’t do anything special on phones, more just a tool; will read/listen to podcasts/does have emulators (courtesy of Leo) and enjoys playing Pokemon when he’s bored

Jeanne: types one finger at a time, it will take a while--but he’ll get there (deleted all his contacts by accident once and Mozart was just. HOW.) He barely knows how to use a phone, and it’s a steep learning curve for him

Mozart: purely functional when it comes to his phone, refuses to rely on it beyond the necessities that only tech can do (for instance, sending emails or reading articles or uploading compositions) he still writes his music before making more polished digital copies. He will sometimes listen to pieces digitally, but prefers to play them in-person; he feels that a lot of the soul in a piece is lost despite the convenience

Dazai: you absolute fools. you baboons. why would you ever give him this kind of power. it is 3AM and he has been on a wikipedia trail spanning hours, started with Cleopatra being the seventh in her line with that name all the way to cotton candy being called “daddy’s beard” in French. please help him he hasn’t slept in years. Also probably binges anime and manga lbr. He’s the one making vine references every other second, always up to date on the memes^TM

Isaac: also mostly uses it as a tool for research and calculations; it’s a way to keep track of information. He also likes to play background music while he’s working, so he finds the device nice and convenient--plus less having to go around pestering people in-person. he does start to get interested in coding and tinkering with apps/programs eventually, too

Shakespeare: finds it a delightful little contraption, so useful because it lets him jot down ideas as they come to him quickly, and he can edit his texts much more easily with digital interfaces. also likes that performances can be recorded, because now he can analyze his staging more efficiently--it gives him a good sense of what needs to be adjusted, and encourages him to keep streamlining/try new concepts

Napoleon: likes it because he can keep in touch with people more easily, the kind of guy to drop a line before checking on a friend. he really likes to look up recipes and find out more about cooking techniques he’s never encountered before. Isaac starts making an Instagram account just to show Napoleon’s impeccable plating, and Napo gets quite the following without knowing for a while

[juni-ravenhall]

the thing i really want to practice in 2022 is to feel more comfortable about the fact that the ppl who think negative things about me even when i didnt do anything wrong, ppl who judge me even when i didnt do anything wrong, just for being myself / being mentally ill and vocal about it / being comfortable and proud of myself for having skills and knowledge and being smart / etc... that those ppl just arent worth minding, that there are ppl who dont think negative things about me for unfair reasons etc.

but its really hard. and its not rly about ‘them thinking x of me’, its about that i struggle to handle how so many ppl are unfair and judgmental and mean. its not about tumblr or such at its core, its about that being treated like that and interacting with such ppl reminds me about how i cant cope with being alive in a world full of ppl who dont make sense and who dont care about others, ppl who are unhealthy and immature and dont care to check themselves before hurting others, etc. ppl who dont care to improve. ppl who dont try as hard as we do to be good ppl and be kind and rational and fair.

idk how long i will be able to stick around ssoblr if i dont get better at ignoring the ppl who are thinking negative things of others for no reason. ppl who polarise things and humans into “perfect, wholesome, no criticism allowed” versus “the worst thing in the world, no redemption” instead of understanding everything needs to be thought of with nuance in this world.

and ofc not just ssoblr, just being anywhere whatsoever. i dont have other social fandoms. i cant cope with ppl letting their irrationality affect others negatively, to hurt and harm others for literally no reason other than not self-reflecting or thinking before you talk. its valid to be mentally ill, to be immature bc youre young or bc u were neglected, but its not ever valid to hurt others bc of those things, theyre not excuses for treating others unfairly or causing harm. 

(fandoms - i do check other things im into - i browse sims cc and post my own sims cc sometimes, i mod stardew, i look at dolls and arts and crafts stuff, etc, but im not social in those fandoms, i lurk.)

so yeah idk. i plan to work on forgetting about the ppl who are unfair and hurtful to others for no reason and focus only on those ppl who treat others respectfully and understand nuance. but i dont know if i can do that. i dont know how much i can live in this world socially ever again. 

also, it would be nice to make new friends in 2022, so if anyone of those ppl who actually understand me and arent negative about other ppl for no reason want to get to know each other better and talk in dms (either tumblr or discord - i can sort of handle discord dms on my good days, i just cant handle servers or groups) then just lmk. (not rly for minors tho, i appreciate ur feelings but i dont think its reasonable for me to be besties with minors as an adult)