#guy playing with his hair properly for the first time: WTF is this stuff. have u guys seen this shit.

[teobug]

hey wtf is pomade and why does it make my hair do magic actually

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Tues 8 June ‘21

Harry recorded a message that was played at the Stoneman Douglas High School graduation; SD is the school in Parkland Florida that in 2018 became the site of the deadliest school shooting in US history. Harry has consistently been a vocal supporter of the student activism to curb gun violence that followed the shooting (it was when he added the Stop Gun Violence stickers to his guitar and he spoke about it before when playing near there on HSLOT, for example, as well as signing on to things and donating money and talking about the bravery of the young women leading the effort in particular). “You are an incredibly strong group of people and I have no doubt that you’ll all do incredible things whatever you chose to do in the future, so good luck, love each other and be nice to each other and I hope at some point I’ll get to see you guys,” he said in the video.

A blurry blob in a blue hoodie in London last night was said to be him, out for a stroll, Don’t Worry Darling was announced to be set for release next year, and some fans literally chased Harry and Olivia down the street while filming them against their wishes (recently, not today, seems like she might be back in the US with Jason now that his filming is wrapped) and then people tried to blame their behavior on... larries?? UM did larries possess them and force them to literally chase a person asking to be left alone I DON’T BELIEVE SO, I am BEGGING you guys to quit listening to anything anyone on twitter says. My Policeman is filming in Hitchin, at a location reported by local media to be “shrouded in mystery”, but I’m pretty sure the hordes gathered to peep at filming have killed any aura of mystery at this point. They are working on location at a pool in Butts Close (YEAH I KNOW) and are apparently besieged with fans, some of whom managed to get more pictures of a blurry blob said to be Harry- this time in tiny yellow short shorts (2021/1950 version)!

Niall and Anne Marie’s Tonight Show performance aired! Anne Marie’s black and white cheetah print lined three piece outfit is amazing, like Niall is pushing the envelope a little with shapes and fits but her look takes center stage I’m afraid; anyway also they sound great and are cute, yes yes.

Liam has been in his discord lots, commenting on things and polling people. Current polls, yes no or wtf about NFTs, which landslide result (wtf) got him to say yeah okay I’ll make an explainer, and should we rename my fandom which resulted in a chat for people to make suggestions. About front runner Paynedora’s Box (Liam’s own amazing suggestion) he said “it came to me as I thought it meant every type of fan is a possibility, never know what you’re going to encounter.” Yes plus Pandora’s Box was full of demons! Apt indeed though Liam’s fans are sweeter than some, it’s true. He gives a little love to Champaynes too, which is good though given our boy’s struggle with alcohol addiction I’ll stick with my vote for the first one. He posted from an “impromptu night photoshoot” (about which his hair guy said “bringing the grit back, prepping for a very exciting launch…”), followed NFT co-creator Gabe Damast who later posted some behind the scenes talk about the making of Lonely Bug (with glimpses!) and the page for animated film Ron’s Gone Wrong, which he commented about (“this looks amazing!”), liked a Lonely Bug fanart of the bug with his face on it, and signed on to a UNICEF letter, along with 28 other celebs, asking the G7 (rich countries) to donate vaccines for distribution where most needed. And he was seen today at a Top Golf! An employee posted a distanced pic with him. Also btw those necklaces he’s been wearing all the time lately are apparently diamonds and are £50k each, but he wasn’t wearing them for golf time at least.

And additional bits from Liam’s interview from yesterday because it’s REALLY LONG, one recap wasn’t enough-- Liam said he definitely has not yet figured out what makes him happy (which makes me sad although also, normalize not having it all figured out in your 20s I don’t think that’s unusual) and talked about the difficulty of figuring out what to do when you’ve already accomplished your life goal so young, he mentioned the people speaking out against the X Factor and that he thinks there needs to be a care system for people in those shows, and said “find you a man who looks at you like Russell Brand looks at you when he’s listening to your stories, he looks into your soul,” and when host Steve talks about meditating naked says “now that’s what I want to think about!” (they’d been talking about what to focus your thoughts on for meditation). He said he wants to experiment with the way he does promo, specifically to wait to see if a song is doing well before doing press tours that might not have any point and that he thinks the industry is in a place where they need to throw out the old molds, and he talked about the industry wasting money on things they don’t need to do for promo. “You have your fanbase, grow it organically, properly,” he said, which is so much more true for any one of the 1D boys than anyone else, for sure, and it makes sense he’d say this stuff not just for the obvious reasons- we’ve all seen how badly labels have fallen short with post 1D solo stuff- but also because the 1D fandom always has been in a position out at the forefront of new ways that fan engagement work (as Liam points out, he talked about the perfect storm of the rise of twitter trends and of 1D) and modeling what will be next for other artists, so trying to fit it into old boxes doesn’t make sense, and it’s still true. Other solo artists simply DON’T HAVE the same kind of fandom these five do, and trying to market them the same way you would any random artist is just throwing away money and engagement! So it is exciting to see these guys take the lead on their own stuff and experiment with new ways of doing things, and Liam is smashing it at that.

[leia-imogen]

aaron & the family he's found all by himself; vol. 2 // vol. 1

( ft. short jokes, a belated birthday shopping trip, & an ultra-chaotic winter break )

( for @criswisstuff & anyone who enjoyed the first one <3 )

savannah, who is 5'9, is constantly teasing aaron and cleo for being short. katelyn's good at 5'6, and also a bit impossible to tease bcs she's the actual best, so she gets to escape this

cleo ( 5'2 ) is perfectly delighted to have someone shorter than her for once in her life, even by only 2 inches

aaron: guys, just try and see this from my point of view

sav: [ collapses ]

katelyn: [ crouches down ]

cleo: [ sits cross-legged on floor ]

aaron: dude you're literally 2 inches taller than me

cleo: 2 and a quarter

sav is so smug about this but in a good-natured way, in that she and cleo call aaron "kid" or "kiddo" or "pipsqueak" and he doesn't mind bcs they always say it w such a huge smile and he likes to respond to sav with "how's the weather up there, tall-ass?"

and katelyn thinks it's ridiculously adorable how tiny aaron is and obviously she uses him as an armrest all the time

katelyn, petting aaron's hair: guys guys omg he's like an angsty mini blond kitten and i would kill for him <3

sav, popping up between them: mini-yard :))

before i get super distracted, i just wanna mention that aaron met sav and cleo towards the end of november, so they missed the twin's birthday

but sav still insists that she must take him shopping bcs sure his fashion sense is fine but there's always room for improvement, isn't there, aaron??

he relents, so long as she and cleo and katelyn ( who already gave him a birthday present?? why's she doing this??? ) don't spend too much money

sav drags him all around south carolina to the best thrift stores she can find and cleo and katelyn are amazed that she can get such fantastic deals on the supermodel clothes she wears

fr she's literally a fashion design major ( + minoring in business management ) and she shows up to class in skilfully done drugstore makeup and an absolutely killer outfit for like 15 bucks

she grew up poor, and she's still poor now, even if she ( thankfully ) managed to scrape a cheerleading scholarship

sav, flicking through a rack of dresses labelled $4 apiece: RIP to little miss rich bitch reynolds but i'm different ;)

no hate to allison she's awesome but she grew up in the lap of luxury surrounded by designer brands so she knows NOTHING about thrifting and rationing money in general

oh and sav and allison have kind of a frenemies thing going on bcs they're both fighting for the top spot of their fashion design course

they spend the whole day shopping and aaron ends up with a highly upgraded wardrobe that contains a lot of cute pastel stuff and sav's promise to do his makeup

aaron insists on paying for dinner at the really nice pizza place a short drive from campus even tho they all protest

and andrew knows he's found new friends, but has no idea that it's the vixens and he's dating one of them. nicky does tho, but he's sworn to secrecy

nicky thinks his new clothes are adorable and is stunned when aaron tells him the total cost

"oh my GOD that girl sounds like a genius."

"yeah, her name's sav. you guys,, would get along, i think."

okay now for the winter break part!!

i think that you can get permission to stay at dorms if you're an international student or something??

anyways since sav's super upset bcs her father straight-up told her not to come home bcs he has a new girlfriend ( god i hate sav's father )

katelyn would stay with her, but her dad can finally have her home in new york for christmas and she really doesn't want to miss it

cleo, the only one with a properly functional family, is going back to her big family house and loving parents and grandma and aunt and siblings and cousins. love that for her.

so aaron and sav are stuck at psu for 2 weeks and aaron's surprisingly cool with this. and sav's excited bcs for the first time since her mom died, she can spend her christmas with someone she actually wants around instead of her shitty-ass father and his constant stream of bitchy girlfriends

they spend a lot of time together, stealing food from the athlete's dining hall to make their own weird combos, which usually ends with aaron making something Cool and Interesting and sav gagging and spitting out whatever strange concoction she had previously insisted would taste good

i literally can't bring myself to give a shit about the twinyards' deal bcs andrew literally became best friends with renee?? and hooks up with guys at eden’s??? idk what's going on there but it's like andrew is trying to control aaron's life while he can do whatever he wants??? and honestly wtf????

also let me just make it clear that i ADORE andrew so so much he's one of my favourite comfort characters ever but i'm not gonna make excuses for his shitty behaviour. i fully believe he heals and puts away his pride to apologise to aaron, nicky, and kevin for his treatment of them

that's definitely not to say that aaron's internalised homophobia isn't eww, but with so many important people in his life gay, he makes a huge effort to get over it

so andrew just thinks that aaron is spending a lot of time in the library or out with nicky or something

and when aaron tells sav about this deal, she's kinda horrified, but it's pretty clear to her that aaron so desperately wants to fix his relationship with his brother, and she's not in any place to discourage him, is she?

the only thing she can do is hope that he won't come out all the worse for it

and stare at the boy curled up on the other end of the pale pink sofa cleo's parents had gotten, wonder just how much shit he'd been put through, and decide she was going to be his best friend

aaron's face has gone entirely impassive. sav nudges his fluffy-socked foot with her own, then reaches out to smooth the crease between his eyebrows. "careful, you'll wrinkle your pretty little face."

aaron is very caught off guard by this, and very promptly flushes bright red, which contrasts with the pale teal hoodie he stole from katelyn

"okay, enough talk about depressing crap. wanna go make christmas cookies now?"

"yeah."

so they make christmas cookies. well, it was supposed to be christmas cookies, but it turns into double chocolate fudge cookies somewhere along the line. neither of them knows how

them baking together is the definition of chaos. they're still blasting songs, and sav is singing along terribly

"yOu'Re A mEaN oNe, Mr. GrInCh," while poking aaron's cheek as he tries to mix something. he throws a handful of flour at her. "yOu ReAlLy ArE A hEel."

anyways obviously sav retaliates and that ends in a flour fight. it only stops when aaron deadass cracks an egg on sav's head and she smears chocolate into his hair

she also tries to make him sing along to baby, it's cold outside

"i'Ve GoT tO Go `wAAyyy~" she holds a spatula up to his face

"go away."

they video call katelyn, who takes one look at the mess in the cramped dorm kitchen and sighs so loudly and dramatically that her dad pops in and asks if everything's okay

aaron freezes up at the sight of him and sav quickly turns off the camera, bcs they both want to make good impressions on him, and being covered in various cookie ingredients just won't cut it, ya know?

the cookies turn out delicious and sav sends all their group chat various photos of the process, most of which consist of selfies with her making goofy faces while aaron is simultaneously baking and flipping off the camera

plus a several videos of sav enthusiastically dancing and mouthing the lyrics of, as follows, all i want for christmas is you, let it snow, and santa claus is coming to town and aggressively pointing a spatula at aaron

"c'mon aari, just sing! please??? please???? please you can do it i believe in you!!"

finally he just. gives up. "okay, you know what? fine, i'll sing to ONE and then you will STOP bothering me you insolent dumbass."

sav beams. santa baby starts playing. aaron is very clearly going through five stages of grief in 0.5 seconds

"go on," sav says sweetly as she slides in next to a pouting aaron, "i'll sing with you."

sav slings an arm around his shoulder and sways with him, so it's just her doing that and him grumpily mumbling the lyrics

and when the cookies are cooling down, they start cleaning the kitchen up. aaron rubs some spilled egg yolk into sav's hair but it goes pretty okay otherwise, since they're just listening to more christmas songs and chatting about light stuff, like aaron's biochem course, sav's fashion course, and their dumb classmates

aaron mostly listens tho, and learns that sav kind of hates allison reynolds for giving up her inheritance when she would do ANYTHING for even the tiniest fraction of that money

but she still thinks allison's gorgeous bcs c'mon

and that sav's dream is to one day open her own boutique!!

aaron spends most of the actual christmas day with the monsters at eden's bcs nicky and andrew wanted to

he spent a lot of the time texting on their group chat

doessavvyisgay: so u just go to a nightclub every week??

unaliveme: i mean yeah, i literally worked here for a while. we needed money and nicky was already working 2 jobs night and day

actualblessing: babe ur backstory is so tragic

unaliveme: i'm a fox for a reason ig

cleo.magda: Yes but-

doessavvyisgay renamed this conversation "aaron miniyard support group"

unaliveme: oh ffs

unaliveme: sav subject change go

doessavvyisgay: i'm at the clothes store what should i get?

actualblessing: something pretty :)

doessavvyisgay: sorry, i can't buy the cashier

cleo.magda: Wow.

doessavvyisgay: I DID GET HER NUMBER THO

unaliveme: lmaooo what's her name?

doessavvyisgay: uh

unaliveme: savannah istg u don't even know her name??

actualblessing: s a v

actualblessing: damn u really do be turning on the Charm tho

actualblessing: respect i didn't even talk to aaron till i asked him for notes bcs he has rly pretty notes and also a rly pretty face

actualblessing: and even then i was like :0

unaliveme: IT WAS CUTE I PROMISE

doessavvyisgay: u 2 = the only valid heterosexual couple

actualblessing: rt

unaliveme: oh shit i'm getting super drunk

cleo.magda: Aaron, you drink? That's not legal, get out of there right now. Kids these days-

unaliveme: cleo u have literally seen me get drunk af,, the first time we met,,, and anyways this is how my family bonds ✌🏻

doessavvyisgay: that's. so damn weird kiddo but go off ig

actualblessing: no go find better things to bond about other than alcohol and weird sweaty dancing

cleo.magda: Yeah, go watch some Christmas movies!

unaliveme: nicky makes us watch die hard every year

doessavvyisgay: see u in hell, kiddo ;)

cleo.magda: I meant things like The Polar Express and Home Alone.

actualblessing: merry christmas ya filthy animals!!

doessavvyisgay: merry xmas y'all i'm gonna go to that christmas party bcs i'm super bored

unaliveme: merry christmas mothers and fuckers

cleo.magda: Merry Christmas, you guys!

[kiss4kazu]

Hi! could I request some headcanons for what kissing Ashe and Dimitri (Felix too if thats not too much if not its fine) would be like for the first time?

☆ first time kisses with ashe, dimitri, felix 

↳ ashe babie boy 

although ashe is really innocent and pure i think he’s easily one of the most romantic in blue lions and would really go above and beyond always for the person he loves. 

i know a lot of people probably see ashe as someone being too reluctant and nervous to actually ever make a move first but i think if he really liked someone, he’d be extremely obvious about it, blushing like crazy, a stuttering mess, etc and after enough pep talks from sylvain he’d finally make a move to ask u out on a date and it would be an absolute wreck.

would literally put together something so fckin cheesy n corny but in the most adorably ashe way that it makes you want to punch him from being so precious

like a cute picnic or something by a lake and he’d make cute little cakes with some help from annette and it would just be so pure. 

he’d rehearse how he’s going to confess in his head like a million times but when the moment actually comes it ends up just being a jumbled up mess filled with “ums” and he’d try to stick to the script him and sylvain came up with and get out a “y-you’re r-really… u-uh… p-pretty..” but then he’d fuck it all up by saying something weird n dorky like “a-and you s-smell really nice… w-wait that’s weird i’m sorry-” and you’d just hold back ur laughter, ur heart swelling with so so much affection for him. 

ofc he’d ask for permission to kiss you, cheeks crimson and his eyes looking up at yours like tht one starry eyed emoji. you’d give him a vocal response, since he rly needs that reassurance. no stutters just “of course ashe” and he’d smile so so big and then just swoop down totally uncoordinated. 

would probs miss your lips and have to readjust. 

kissing ashe for the first time would be … messy. he’s not experienced at all, and doesn’t know what to do with his hands and he’d honestly be a dead fish for a good few moments. but as you ease him more into the kiss, he’d loosen up a bit, tilt his head and just stop overthinking. his lips would be really warm and would taste so sweet from the cake and he’d smile so hard into the kiss that your teeth end up bumping into each other and you’d pull away laughing

ashe kisses are the best honestly the butterflies fireworks the whole shebang yknow. 

as he gets more confident he’d probably try out a few things he’s seen in books like slipping his tongue in and would be completely taken aback by just how nice it feels. would probably whine into the kiss, cradle your face in his hands, and once you guys pull apart for some air he’d just breathe heavily against your lips with the dopiest smile on his face :( <3 

he’d be rly slap happy after kissing you for the first time and would probably tackle u onto the picnic blanket laughing from happiness kissing your face everywhere and showering you in compliments, shoving his face into ur neck and just breathing in ur scent. 

he’s very clingy ok. 

↳ dimi !!

whew. ok so we’re gonna do academy phase dimi since feral dimi is uh… probs not sfw & violent skjdfjslkjfd  

academy phase dimi knows NOTHING about kissing n he has 0 experience so it takes him forever n a day to finally get the balls to kiss u and when he does … whew. 

i can imagine kissing dimi to be during like , a deep convo or something late at night, when he’s having trouble sleeping or something and ur just running ur fingers through his hair, listening to him as he vents and admiring the sound of his voice bc he’s always more talkative at the dead of night when he’s sleep deprived. 

he’d just look at u so so lovingly and it would be suffocating and ur just staring at his lips but u know ur probs way in over ur head bc uh he’s the future king of faerghus 

but then he’d ask for permission too like ashe tbh bc he’s just polite like tht and has too good mannerisms 

plus he cares a lot about your comfort and would never want to make u feel unsafe or uncomfy especially by his doing

and you would nod with quickness n he’d waste not a second to connect ur lips 

kissing dimi is like a trance tbh, type of kiss that feels like something in u is short-circuiting 

literally the type of kiss that makes ur knees buckle u know the ones. 

he’s a rly rly good kisser n it makes no sense bc he’s literally never kissed anyone before in his life n it kind of makes u mad bc why is he perfect 

a rly rly passionate kisser and he can be kind of rougher than he intends to bc he’s not good with fragile things 

clearly v dominant in the kiss, one hand with an iron grip on ur hip the other tangled up behind ur neck, gripping ur hair. after a while gets reluctant and starts to overthink things and pulls away apologizing for being too rough

you’d probs have to reassure him a million times tht its okay dimi ur not hurting me!! 

he’s rly touch starved tbh so he always tends to take pecks into full-blown makeout sessions or when he intends to just kiss ur forehead he ends up kissing ur cheeks too, ur jaw, down ur neck just riling himself up tbh and then he finally  looks up at u with his eyes all dark n ur just like … here we go

did i mention he groans a lot during kisses bc he does 

dimi’s other sides shining through when his emotions overwhelm him is just .. dimitri 101. 

he’s rough, seemingly an expert at this shit, his tongue shoving past your lips and completely taking u off guard. he’d literally kiss you so hard your head would spin and he’d do it all with a blush on his face bc he’s still a shy babie.  as soon as the moment is over he’s back to stuttering n being all awkward boyish prince. 

he’s also the type to shower u in compliments between kisses.

kisses lips “you’re so gorgeous” smooches neck “so amazing” kisses jaw “goddess i love you” 

im scream crying

↳ felix too bc WHY NOT ! i love him 

listen. 

this little fucker kisses the life out of people u heard it here first folks. 

he’s 100% a heat of the moment type of kisser. it could go two ways tbh. like if you got hurt or something on his behalf he’d scream at you with glossy eyes for a good 5 minutes and then just stare at you all >:( and then he’d just grab you and  kiss the fuck out of you.

probably the most passionate kisser out of the three, he kisses to the point where u can’t feel ur toes and stuff he’d just completely indulge without any fucks given bc he almost lost you and he’s not good with explaining his emotions so hopefully this helps you understand. 

the other way i can see a first kiss going down with felix is more.. vulnerable, despite his hard exterior. he is rough and mean but it’s not bc he’s genuinely a bad person he just has walls built up so high tht its impossible for anyone to rly climb over 

to get a kiss from lix, u definitely have to have climbed over tht wall of his, or just fly a wrecking ball through it n send it crumbling to the ground

you’re literally the only exception, the only person who can rly get through to him 

he’d probably turn to you for comfort a lot, when dimitri agitates him with memories of glenn or his dad says something that ticks him off and he wants to punch something he’d just go to you instead, knock on ur door and just waltz in like he owns the place, sitting down on ur bed and u would know he wants cuddles bc this is how felix communicates 

if he had to actually say ���i want cuddles” out loud he’d probably shoot himself in the foot with an arrow so he’s glad u understand, u always understand him just by looking at him n it’s reassuring bc he’s never been good with words.

its kind of cringe to him that he likes being held but shocker he likes being held 

he also rly rly likes it when u play with his hair he’s like a cat he will literally start nuzzling into you, so warm and pliant to your touch

ok im getting distracted back to the kissing shit

felix would probably just be rly overwhelmed with emotions n he doesn’t rly know how to tell u “i like u” so he just says “im going to kiss you.” like a literal statement n then he does it n ur just like o-o bc wtf. 

if ur not responsive at first he’d just pull away after a while and wouldn’t meet eyes with u and be all blushy. 

would let out a tch like the little shit that he is, and u have to turn his face so he’s properly looking at u again and meeting eyes with u 

he looks so vulnerable and stupidly gorgeous so u kiss him this time so he knows the feeling is mutual and it’d take him a min to really gather whats happening but once he does he’d literally. suck. the. life. out. of. your. face. period. 

felix kisses r rough n messy n just completely self-indulgent and he groans shamelessly when u pull his hair tie out from his bun and tug at his hair yes i have a thing for felix’s hair leave me alone.

gives 0 fucks would literally shove his tongue down your throat pull you flush against him and he always calls sylvain insatiable but rly its this fucker who’s insatiable he is literally eating your face. 

you’d have to pull him away from you and he’d just pant so hard against your lips and look at you like he wants to devour you and its kind of overwhelming bc he’s fucking hot !!!!! 

would shove his face into ur neck and mumble out an “i like you”  and u would tease him n be like “what did you say i cant hear u?” and he’d elbow u in the ribs  and groan into ur neck and u would laugh n kiss his head, telling him u like him too

at tht he’d lift his head up, his hair falling over his amber eyes and u would just push the strands away from his face and kiss him softly one last time before going back 2 ur conversation about punching sylvain’s face or sumn

anyway i love felix thanks 4 coming to my ted talk. 

requests are open! <3

- vivi ★

[electricea-archive]

jassi’s adventures with the persona 5 manga, volume 2, pt. 1!

this volume was actually a bit of a struggle to get but i got it, it’s in my hands, along with volume 3!!

-so last chapter, i complained about ryuji’s awakening being sort of jammed into the end volume 1.  well the first few pages of volume 2 more than make up for it by showing him kicking ass, taking names, and enjoying the hell out of himself - it’s nice to see this cocky and confident side to him that he has as skull.

-at one point, morgana jumps in and summons zorro to help out being like ‘can’t you do anything without me?’ and later goes on to call ryuji sloppy.  the start of a classic rivalry.  also morgana calls him blondie lol.

-also this must have slipped past me but unlike in the game, morgana isn’t there for ryuji’s awakening and is surprised to see that he’s a persona user.

-they have to be reminded of their goal to steal his treasure by morgana but given we’re barely a few pages in, they make their exit to the real world pretty quickly after.

-ryuji’s a lot more confident after awakening his persona - meanwhile cat!morgana turns up and claims he’d noticed something special about ryuji all along and how these two were all part of his infiltration plan.  sure, jan.

-though i do like how ryuji raises of the point as to why didn’t morgana just steal the treasure himself if that’s so imperative.

-ryuji takes charge of the calling card - everybody thinks it’s a prank and it features his trademark crappy artwork but i do like how his wording ‘to the creepy bastard of lust, suguru kamoshida’.  get ‘im ryuji.

-oh there’s more - ‘we know how shitty you really are taking your base desires out on helpless students, thus we have decided to steal those twisted desires and make you confess your crimes, we will arrive today to commit the deed, prepare thyself, signed the phantom thieves of hearts’

-akira must have helped with writing that lmao - that or ryuji’s a lot more well spoken than i thought.

-ann wonders if it’s because of shiho, meanwhile kamoshida flips the fuck out and demands to know who did this.  he starts accusing random students and rips that shit off of the bulletin board.  yep, he’s rattled lol.

-the group prepares to end the castle, but ann turns up - even in phantom thief gear, she immediately recognizes skull as ryuji and i guess came to the conclusion that they were the ones who wrote the calling card because kamoshida freaked out so much.

-she wants in on in the action too and there’s a funny exchange where ryuji is trying to explain how they have to go through a palace and she’s like ‘...a palace? yeah, i can see that.  it’s a castle.  so what?’

-morgana already crushing on her but meanwhile she’s just wondering how the hell that cat talked.  there’s a funny little callback to the ‘castle vs palace’ line with ann, who seems to be getting confused by the two.

-ryuji just kind of tells her to get lost and starts shoving her away - she looks to akira for help but he’s just like ‘we’ll take care of kamoshida’ - though to be fair, he does mention feeling bad about it.

-there’s a lot of castle parkour, ryuji nearly slips and falls off the side of a wall.

-a lot of the following pages are game accurate - morgana loves treasure, they grab it and try to carry the giant crown, kamoshida spots them, though he offers to trade them ann (who i guess at some point he captured) for it.

-the next chapter is ann flashback one, lots of references to her alienation by her classmates, they think she sticks out like a sore thumb because she’s not fully japanese, her hair and her eyes are too different, they treat her like a foreigner, they find her really aloof and generally just a lot of gossiping and whispering going on around her.

-‘this is what it’s like for me every day.’

-i can��t tell if this a first meeting between ann and shiho but it looks like they’re in art class and shiho tells ann her art sucks - but then says she finds it really unique and weird.  ann bursts of laughing at this and it looks to be the start of a best friendship here?

-she’s strapped to that crucifix looking thing - kamoshida grabs her face which just makes me shudder, and it’s mentioned she went back in and got ambushed by the cards.  he’s still trying to convince them to trade her for the crown.

-...they give it back - aww, such sweet guys, but asshole kamoshida never planned on being honest and calls ann an ‘interesting new toy to play with’ and says how he likes seeing the looks of helpless frustration on people.

-he grabs ann’s face AGAIN - asking what fun he can have with his new toy and cognitive ann makes her entrance basically saying that he can’t let ann talk back to him like that.

-i know that cognition is more or less well explained but it’s still disgusting that kamoshida’s perception of ann is that of a skimpily dressed, obedient, mindless sex slave.  the whole idea of cognitive ann is just so repulsive to me.

-ann rightfully calls him insane - kamoshida doesn’t like that and THREATENS TO DISSECT HER IN FRONT OF THEM, WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK.

-he goes on another disgusting tangent about how everyone is his slaves and calls shiho a stupid girl, saying there are more slaves where she came from and she was just a poor substitute for ann.  he says he had shiho ‘take her place’ and while it’s never outright said, i’m sure you can infer what happened and to put the icing on the cake, he blames it on ann saying that if she would have just graciously accepted his advances, none of this would have happened.

-he asks her if she thinks she actually has the right to feel angry - wtf man??

-ryuji and akira give her a pep talk saying how they’re nobody’s slaves and neither is she, even before they become phantom thieves together, they’re such good friends to her.

-ann’s had about enough of everything and is getting pissed off - i think there’s an awakening coming on!!

-her awakening is actually really cool, though with the black and white color scheme, her mask gives me catwoman vibes but carmen? super beautiful. ._.

-her tangent is more or less the same in the game - he took everything from shiho, she’s gonna take everything from him.  still super badass!!

-the first four phantom thieves have assembled - and kamoshida is not taking this well!

-he morphs into his shadow form and devours his own guards and from here, the next few pages are more or less the boss fight in manga form.

-there’s a panel where joker saves ann and they’re like staring into each other’s eyes, ryuji’s in the background being like ‘i helped too! where’s my thanks?!’

-kamoshida drinks from his giant drink glass and he’s all healed up.

even though the book feels about the same size as volume 1, it feels like there’s a whole lot more to go through with it, so i’ll be tackling it in parts, i think.  this volume doesn’t even end with kamoshida’s defeat, that’s only about halfway through - and they still have time to introduce yusuke afterwards, though i’m pretty sure that all of the actual madarame stuff is properly covered in volume 3, but yeah, ann was handled a lot better in this version, she got a lot more screntime, a lot more badass scenes, i liked the development with her.  kamoshida continues to be an immense pile of shit and it’s just fun watching ryuji grow more confident in himself as a phantom thief!

[skinsharpenedteeth]

just a little piece...

AN: This is just a little bit of a Malex WIP. It’s actually a piece of about Kyle and Alex’s friendship which makes me smile a lot. Because honestly... Kyle and Alex in my mind are the kind of friends that are uncomfortably, intimidatingly close. And Kyle is the kind of guy who always goes OVERBOARD. So yeah. I thought it was cute and wanted to share it. 

The next morning, Alex groaned loudly into his pillow as he came abruptly into consciousness. He’d forgotten to close the curtains in his hotel room and the sun was glaring in on him as if seeking vengeance. It took him a moment to remember that he wasn’t in some other dessert half a world away and that the pounding he heard was not the distant sound of bombs dropping, but of someone knocking on his door….loudly. Way too loudly for… Alex squinted at the clock on the bedside table, 8 a.m.  

              “Coming!” Alex called, voice a little hoarse from sleep. The knocking stopped and he groped around for his crutch before hopping over to the door. He left the security chain on as he opened it and peaked outside.

              “Delivery for Mr. Alex Manes?” a short, Hispanic woman said from the hallway. Alex shifted his eyes down to look at the package she held in her hand. She was wearing the hotel’s uniform, but the package was definitely not from the hotel gift shop.

              “Yeah, okay…” he said gruffly, closing the door to unlatch the chain and then reopening it. The woman, ‘Martha’ her name tag read, thrust the object in question at him as if it were on fire. He looked down at it and realized why about the same time that she turned on her heel and all but fled down the hallway to the elevator.

              “Uh… thank you!” he called, closing the door with his foot and backing into his room. He set the… thing on the bed and went to call room service for coffee. He had a feeling he was going to need to be more awake to deal… that.

              As he waited for his coffee and fruit bowl to arrive, Alex found his eyes continually traveling back to the desk. He tried watching TV, playing on his phone, and even going out onto the balcony attached to his room, but the thing on the desk was always at the back of his mind. Sighing, he hopped into the bathroom and started up a shower. It always took room service twice as long as he felt like it should have to deliver even the simplest orders, so he was probably safe to take a quick shower and wake himself up. He grabbed a clean pair of briefs and some sweatpants before closing the bathroom door firmly and starting up the water to warm.

              He figured he knew who the gift was from, but he didn’t want to presume until he’d actually looked at the card. Scrubbing his hands over his face in frustration, he turned and hopped into the shower and sat on the stool inside. He washed himself slowly and thoroughly, trying to draw out the moment when he’d have to deal with reality of his surprise gift. Halfway through washing his hair he heard the door to his hotel room open and an indistinct voice call out “Room Service!” followed by a squeak and giggles. Gritting his teeth, he stuck his head past the shower curtain and called out a thanks. He listened for the thud of the door shutting before he continued washing out the conditioner. If he was lucky, maybe the attendant stole the damn thing and he wouldn’t have to open it.

              A ping from his phone was a welcome relief once he was out of the shower.

<Kyle> Did you get your gift? > I did. I haven’t really looked at it yet. What the fuck did you get me???? <Kyle> Text me when you’ve looked at it! And also, tell me how your date went last night? Am I too late? > Too late for what? <Kyle> Go look at your fucking gift, Manes! > Ugh. Fine.

              Alex slipped on his clothes and prosthetic before re-entering the main living area of his room. He spotted the coffee and fruit set on the desk right next to his present… from Kyle, apparently. Sighing, he stepped closer to the desk and finally gave it a good once over.

              “Where in the fuck did you find a penis shaped gift basket?!” Alex asked as he took in the shape of his present. Groaning, he closed his eyes briefly and felt a headache coming on. Kyle never did anything halfway. He was thoroughly dreading what he would find once he undid the bow and let the acetate fall away to reveal the contents. With shaking hands, he reached out and pulled at the strings of the red and pink heart covered bow. He parted the thin, crinkly grey plastic and swore under his breath, face heating up from instantaneous embarrassment.

              The box was filled to the brim with sex paraphernalia. Alex tried to suppress his horror as he slowly took out all the items. There were three different boxes of condoms, a bottle of lube with a pump handle, as well as a bag of pocket sized packets of lube, a reusable douche kit, a sex candle, a box of dental dams, a tub of something called Boy Butter, a packet of sanitary wipes called Crusty Cock Wipes, a REALLY NICE abalone cuff style cock ring, 2 or 3 silicone cock rings,  a silver butt plug with a touch-sensitive multi-color light-up flared base, some silk scarves, a tube of Nu vitamin tablets, and a bag of penis shaped THC gummies. By the end of the reveal, Alex’s face was so hot from embarrassment he wasn’t sure how the fire detector hadn’t signalled. And his coffee was stone cold.

>First and foremost, What. The. Everloving. Fuck?! >Secondly, OMG. WTF!!! <Kyle>Text leaves something to be desired. I can’t tell if you’re excited, chagrined, or furious. I’m going to call you.

              Alex glanced over his desk now absolutely covered in sex-related products and let his face fall into his hands, whining piteously. His phone started chirping that a video call was coming in from Kyle. He glared at his friend’s photo and pressed the ‘Accept’ button aggressively. Kyle face popped up smiling and excited.

              “What the fuck, Kyle?!” Alex half-yelled, gesturing towards the desktop. Kyle’s smile fell a little, but Alex could tell he was rallying to defend his gift.

              “I thought you might need some stuff! You didn’t bring a lot with you for your trip and I know you weren’t getting a lot of hot dong while in the military. That gift basket is like… amazing and I’m kind of hurt you aren’t appreciating it properly. Plus, I think it catches me up on like every birthday and Christmas I’ve ever missed because some of that shit was pricey. I almost kept that cuff cock ring for myself.”

              Alex looked at his friend incredulously. Kyle looked completely unrepentant and like he did not see where anything he’d done was crossing a line.

              “I think maybe med school has desensitized you too much. Or maybe we’re too good of friends. I have no clue which, but you bought me a BUTT PLUG? That’s a pretty personal purchase to get from someone who is not ever going to be intimate with my actual ASSHOLE,” Alex may have screeched the last word. It felt like a screech. Kyle’s cackling told him it was a screech.

              “I’m just being supportive. You don’t have to USE all that stuff. At least not in one night. I mean, that’s a lot of lube and condoms to go through. At our age, it’s a little ambitious to think you’d even finish off a full box…” Kyle trailed off and started laughing again. Alex’s face must’ve been doing something hilarious, but all he could feel was embarrassment and affection for his friend’s misguided attempts to make up for a couple shitty years of high school where he’d been a jackass homophobe.

              “Kyle… you could’ve just gone to a Pride parade with me someday. You didn’t have to… buy me weed gummies shapes like penises… or Boy Butter?” Alex picked up the tub and examined it. It was designed to look like a tub of margarine and proudly proclaimed to be water-based.

              “I have it on good authority that stuff is amazing for any sort of prolonged anal play. Good thick texture, doesn’t dry up quickly…”

              “Kyle, no! No, Kyle! I just… You just… YOU BOUGHT ME A DOUCHING KIT!!” Alex cried piteously, thumping his head onto the desk and moaning in despair. His best friend was the worst.

              “You’re being dramatic, Alex. Honestly, as the Smashing Pumpkins would say, Cleanliness is Godliness and God is empty… like your bowels will be if you use the kit,” Alex opened his mouth to protest, but Kyle cut him off quickly, “Also, everyone involved in the results will praise heaven when the time comes. Jeez, I mean, a guy tries to help a bro out in the twenty-first century and this is the kind of thanks he gets,” Kyle complained, starting to look a little hurt at Alex’s response to his gifts.

              “Kyle…. I think we may be too comfortable with each other. I’m not saying that as a bad thing, but you know this is not a normal gift for like… anybody, right?”  Alex asked, softening his tone and trying to inject some humor into it. “I mean, I’m appreciative and all… I definitely WON’T be telling you if and when I use any of this stuff… but like….”

              Alex was at a loss. It was a really nice gift and he was kind of being a dick about it. Sighing, he smiled and covered his eyes for a moment. Resting his chin on his upturned palm, he finally gave in.

              “Thank you for the gift, Kyle. Let me know next time you get in a serious relationship so I can repay the favor. And never… and I mean, NEVER…. Buy me underwear,” Alex finished, trying to look serious though he was smiling. Kyle smiled back and laughed some more.

              “I apparently didn’t do well enough picking your outfit for last night or you’d be begging to let me buy you underwear next. I take it the evening did not end up with any naked shenanigans?”

              Alex smiled and thought back to the previous night.

[uraharabyakuya]

Rant: ChenQingLing is a disgrace.

Disclaimer: this is a rant, and it’s antiCQL. So those who like it, pls ignore and refrain from posting your counter arguments to me. I just want to vent my displeasure of this live action and only welcome those who agree with me to comment and share.

Being a massive fan of MDZS, I just have to get this off my chest. I am sick of all these brainwashing and gaslighting by so called “fans” of the original work who are singing high praises for this shambles of an adaptation.

The live action series should be ashamed of themselves because they’re simply using the popularity and following from the franchise and totally disrespecting the core of the story and characters. Before these nincompoops come and wax lyrical about adaptations being different from the source material, there is an obvious difference between a genuine adapatation to screen whereby the major plot lines are maintained, the core stories are maintained, the character histories are maintained and superfluous or extrapolated materials are minimised, also where there are obvious gaps of non-explained or non-elaborated space only is where things are created and imagined. Whereas a rubbish excuse of an adaptation is what CQL has done. Because what it did was to use the characters names, take the fantasy world setting and cool elements, and then totally walk over the storyline by completely meshing and mixing and stirring everything and everyone into a big pot of dog poo. And testament to them just using the franchise’s popularity to milk money and attention is by completely unashamedly BL-bait with all the WangXian interactions including many that are either not in the book or extras, or not in the right context or scene, or completely nonexistent and made up. And then the shameless tag that it’s just a platonic bromance since censorship in China wouldn’t allow this. Right.

So let’s talk about the plot. So WWX is not some grandmaster of demonic cultivation since it has already been going on behind the scenes with Xue Yang casually helping WRH practise some hardcore demonic cultivation and the fact that the Tiger Stygian Amulet is just some relic that’s been around for ages. Nothing to do with WWX’s ingenuity and talent for harnessing the resentful energy stored in that sword found at the TuLuXuanWu cave. Then apparently the TianNu statue that comes to life was already something that he and LWJ had encountered before in their youth whilst they go along to hunt for the Amulet pieces. And then WQ apparently is able to influence the zombified with a flute like instrument anyway. And then apparently Lan Yi and WWX’s mum knew each other cos nothing spells more destined love than when your respective previous generation also had some sort of bond and connection. And the bunnies were really reared by her so not a sweet little homage of the Wangxian love. And the forehead ribbon is not just ugly aesthetics wise but LWJ can’t decide if he’s steadfast about it or he is nonchalant about taking it off and tying it onto WWX’s wrist even when he was not intoxicated. And then WWX was already using some unexplained paper puppet powers which was apparently not seen as demonic cultivation in his youth to mess about, and he apparently could manipulate LWJ quite easily to get him drunk. And when things that are not canon like LXC and JGY they just had to make their first meeting so obviously charged with innuendo. And then WQ since the actress invested in the series, had to be important, so she is given some all so noble duty of being the good guy in the bad camp who is doing stuff that she doesn’t want to but she is still good and should be liked though she’s still a bad guy nonsense trope. So she goes to GuSu to get the amulet piece for WRH, because only when he gets the piece will she be able to somehow bring WN away. And WN was a great enough character both alive and dead as the Ghost General with his design from the source material, but no, they want to embellish it that he’s afflicted with some condition that makes him susceptible to being possessed and taken over by evil spirits. Wtf. And naturally, WQ should somehow capture JC’s eye, because why would JC want to be infatuated with a Wen person when eventually they cause the demise of his parents and his clan. But hey maybe he’d be so selective thinking WQ didn’t do it though so that’s okay. Like wtf.

Let’s talk about the actors. I like WWX’s look, the actor has a good face, he “looks” like a WWX, but damn his acting is bad. And damn, he cannot do the duality of WWX, because he does not exude that dangerous aura and the strength and power that WWX naturally possess because of his natural abilities, evident even before he was a Yiling Patriarch, much less if this guy wants to play a convincing Patriarch. He does all these ogling of LWJ from the get go since they met, cue all the cheap BL baiting. And he pouts and stomps his feet and acts cute the whole time. WWX is cheeky, naughty, devious, mischievous, but not girly, not a sissy. Wtf. Then we move onto LWJ. So that guy is some boy and heartthrob, but damn he has neither r looks nor the presence nor the acting skills to touch LWJ. WTF. The moment he appeared he made me want to slap LWJ, want to cry for his ru8ning of his whole imagery. The action sequence is so wooden, and the expressions are so constipated or dead. Everybody else looked bad. The actors I think chosen right for their looks were WWX, WN (alive version, the ghost general version has such awful make up it makes me cringe), NHS, JGY, XY (he apparently got to get a good looking dude to play him who also looks kind of evil and yet looks like an anime character walked out of the anime) and maybe JC (that’s because aesthetically he actually can be considered good looking and that is ridiculous because he’s better looking than the Twin Jades of Lan in this). LXC and his butt chin hurts my eyes. WRH looking like some voodoo witch doctor gone drag in his evil volcanic dungeon lair makes me want to throw an encyclopaedia at someone’s head violently. NMJ looking like a complete perverted uncle complete with hentai stache is just blasphemous. JZX just looks weird, no better way to put it.

So onto the make up, costumes and props. Make up is so shit that you can see up close where spots are done smoothed over or powdered down, the gore or the effects of veins and wounds are so fake and so obviously drawn on it looked like a 6yo went to arts class and took some marker pen and crayon and created these outcomes. The props are so cheap that the ghost hand looks like a rubber Halloween glove you get from the prop shop around the corner, the deity binding ropes look exactly like rough ropes. The Emperor Smile bottles look so tiny and white that it looks more like medicine bottles on ancient times than an expensive alcohol bottle. Where’s the YunMeng silver bell, the jade piece on LWJ’s robe. The forehead ribbon looks so cheap because it’s too thin and the stupid metallic piece in the middle is ridiculous. Why can’t they just stick with the original to have the silk cloth with the cloud patterns embroidered on the cloth. And the clothes, Lan sect is supposed to be ethereal, so why are they dressed in such plain white and tight clothes. They should have the flowing sleeves, the light blue tones, and the cloud embroidery. YunMeng needs to have their original violet colour, the Wen Sect does not need to be full body red like they’re getting married (see WQ), and the Jin sect needs their golden robes with the centrepiece of the JinXinXueLang peony, not some watered down white with yellow hues and nothing else to show for it. And what is with LWJ’s hair do and hair piece, it has such a disgusting look to it and it doesn’t look right. Do the bun properly and the accessory properly, not some weird plop of hair right in front on top of his head and then put a flat piece of elaborate metal on top of it.

I had been looking forward to seeing the epic ness of MDZS brought to the small screen. I had been completely prepared for changes in terms of the romance line being cut, but I fully expected the main storylines to be followed and perhaps elaborated on. Not to be chopped and changed and meshed up and violated like they’ve done so. And with the ability to get some really lovely natural scenery and some of the sets that actually look good eg the Lotus seat in Yun Meng was elaborate and intricate. So why won’t they invest in the right places like making the make up perfect, getting the costumes and looks correct, getting actual actors who can act cos even if they don’t look aesthetically good enough but if they’re solid actors it would flow so much better, and more vitally, why don’t they retell and elaborate on the existing epic storyline as it is! That’s the core of it, the MDZS storyline and major scenes are so awesome wit( their backstories, no changes need to be made, but merely elaborated and extrapolated on, not to be comepltely vandalised and violated. My heart breaks as for the sake of my love for MDZS, I’ve watched 8 eps and had to stop and restart so many times because of how jarring, unnatural, awkward, infuriating, irritating and frustrating the factors above contribute to my viewing. And now the greatness of MDZS as an original source material will forever be tainted by the sacrilege that is the Untamed.

[angelicorn]

FFVII Remake Analysis Chapter 1 (1/2)

My sister was introduced to FFVII via my gameplay and reacted to it with fresh eyes which I’ve written down and posted to tumblr up to chapter 5–which I will continue posting some time in the future (I finished the game, but have looked towards another project in place of the reactions) The past couple weeks, she’s been playing the game while we stop every so often to dissect and analyze the mediums used in this game for story telling purpose. We analyze the music, blank/negative spaces, lighting, camera angles and shots, the introduction of characters, using characters to reveal information/reveal to us the lack of info the players know, etc.

Everyone is free to their own opinions. We just wanted to share our thoughts and understanding of the story and its characters through the use of rhetorical appeals found in the game that push towards a common narrative that all players of this game can agree on—what FFVII’s story is about. We are free to our own interpretations and preferences. The plot devices and rhetoric strategies used in this game are there for specific reasons and this is our (me and my sister’s) take on that. We hope you enjoy this lengthy analysis.

Spoilers, for those who have not yet played the game.

When you begin the new game, you’re introduced to dry and barren land. The first sign of life we see is a bird flying across the sky and towards a bleak looking city. The scenery is washed out with hues of gray, black, etc.—the city is filled with people in contrast to the rocky terrain we saw prior, but it still seems dry and barren in a different sense. The flowers aren’t even growing. A reflection of a washed out greenish light reflects in the eyes of a child playing at a park and it’s coming out of something steel and man-made. It doesn’t look welcoming—it looks ominous. The brooding music and the way this pale light doesn’t illuminate everything around it, but rather makes everything else in comparison, darker, tells us so.

The scenes fades to black and we are next shown a mysterious nameless girl who is perched in front of a pipe(?) with the same glow that we saw coming from the reactor in the last scene. She opens her eyes and the camera cuts to a side view of her. We don’t see her expression, but we see the green glow of the pipes flicker almost as if it’s conversing with her. We see a yellow flower and it’s a a call back to the dead flower growing by the curb in the earlier scenes. It makes us question whether the green glow is something that’s alive and not meant to be harvested to an extent that the flowers are dying. She stands up and looks away from the screen into something unknown to the viewers. We’re further intrigued. Maybe she isn’t meant to be near the green glow? We don’t yet know.

She walks out into the street and bumps into someone who doesn’t even apologize or excuse himself. She drops a few of her flowers. A woman glances at her but no one helps this girl. A man even tramples on one of her flowers. We don’t see her face, but she picks it up with two hands—she’s carrying it like it’s something precious to her. Yes—this steel city is empty of greenery similarly to the way most people depicted are empty of compassion towards life (the environment)

She looks towards the sky and we are left with a lot of questions as to what she is to this story we are embarking on. The camera pans out to a large city enclosed within walls and divided into sections like a pizza—a telltale sign of a society being controlled by a higher power/hierarchy. The sound of drums, wind instruments and the brass instruments gradually become louder and louder until a streak of pale green light shoots across from the upper right corner and strikes the middle of the screen like a meteor. The logo appears to the sound of brass instruments and drums overpowering the score and this crescendo marks the beginning of an epic journey: Final Fantasy VII Remake.

The music gradually quiets down and we pan closer and closer into another section of the city with cuts of a moving train and a mysterious man with a large sword on his back perched on top of this train. We can’t help but wonder why he isn’t inside the train like a normal person and we‘re left to wonder if he’s trying to sneak in undetected. The train slows down to a stop in front of 2 grunts whose faces we can’t see. A closer look at the train—it doesn’t look like it’s meant for people to ride in. It looks like a heavy duty train that’s meant to transport things.

The grunts get their asses handed to them by three characters that are introduced. They’re wearing attire that’s a bit similar to each other so we get the feel that they’re acting as a 3-man unit/team. The camera pans to a big guy with shades and a metal cylinder arm. The guy looks intimidating and to be quite honest, sketchy. Is he supposed to be a good guy or a bad guy? We’ll have to play on to find out.

The three headbands wait for this big guy to give the signal and when he gives them the ok with a head nod, they nod in understanding and turn around to get to their destination.

“Get down here, merc.” The first line is spoken by this big guy whose name flashes on the screen as Barret.

We see the same man with the big sword riding atop the train from before as he back flips onto the scene and coolly looks up at the viewers in true protagonist/hero fashion and this is where we know without a doubt, we are definitely going to be playing as this mysterious, fellow. The striking eyes and spiky-hair tells us so (lol).

The story begins in the middle of all this action. We don’t know this guy’s name, why we’re working for Barret or what their objective even is yet, which leaves a unique way of storytelling by piecing information together. We rely on characters around us and our interactions with them to figure out just wtf is going on.

I wanted to note that the music is quick paced while the brass carries a low melody which, together, evokes a sense of urgency and covertness. We get an idea that perhaps we will be infiltrating this place. Also, the chapter of the title clues us in on what we’re doing. We’re destroying a reactor—a source of energy—which we can safely assume is that green stuff shooting out of that structure from the intro and that it is supplying this walled city with power/electricity.

The player has control of this character and, as Barret puts it, “you’re up” and made to engage in a battle with the same type of grunts as before, all in tutorial fashion. We learn that this man’s name is Cloud. We learn from the first few battles that Cloud is a cocky little shit swordsman based on his scripted dialogue between himself and the grunts. (The grunts warn him that they’ll shoot if he moves and he challenges them with the line, Go ahead.) Our first level up isn’t level 1, it’s level 7, and he already has a few abilities and a spell, plus different fighting modes, so we know he’s has some kind of fighting experience already. 

Additionally, the fighting modes are called Operator mode and Punisher mode. These are words that evoke a lack of autonomy. Operator suggests that a person must do something to make a tool or system function properly. Cloud is a tool to make another tool work. Punisher suggests that a person is inflicting damage, pain, death, etc.towards people who have committed grave crimes/sins —someone who takes away someone else’s autonomy.

We learn more about our main man through the other characters. Jessie and Biggs’ conversation reveals his full name, Cloud Strife, and that he was a SOLDIER which is stylized in all caps in the subtitles showing us that it may be more than just a title or occupation in this game. Biggs describes him as a professional in comparison to the rest of them. Professional in what specifically? He was trained to fight, what with all the abilities and fighting styles he has at this point. That leaves us with the question: what is a SOLDIER exactly, and why isn’t he a SOLDIER anymore?

His interaction with Wedge tells a lot about his character and gives us insight as to what the situation is and what his relationship to them is. Wedge gives a thumbs up—no words from Wedge—yet Cloud is moved to say this is a one time “gig” emphasizing his role as a mercenary and he reiterates it by saying when the job is done, their connection between himself and their group will also end. From a storytelling standpoint, this interaction leads us to separate ourselves emotionally from the rest of the group. To Cloud—the player—this is just another day at work.

Jessie and Biggs continue to talk about the player character, but you cannot interact with them at this point. As you approach Barret, he pushes you aside to watch over Jessie and Biggs. We get a stronger impression that Barret is a team leader of some sort—one that doesn’t seem to approve of your presence. Does that have anything to do with being a former SOLDIER?

Cloud isn’t interested in what Wedge thinks. Cloud is aloof and kinda fuckin’ rude. We wonder what made him this way?

Barret warns Cloud that he’d better be worth the money. He doesn’t even call him by his name. He calls Cloud merc, which further puts emotional distance between the two.

The fact that the player is left behind to fight the baddies alone while the rest make their way forward creates a distance between them as well. Cloud is working for them—not with them. A job’s a job.

Cloud takes the elevator alone and enters an area where we see Wedge is left behind while the rest of the group tells you to hurry and to pick up the pace.

As the player, I personally was annoyed that they aren’t more appreciative. I can’t keep up with you guys bc I’m left behind doing all the fighting keeping all of you from harm. However—fighting is what’s expected of the player—that’s what we were hired to do, right? I’m just being salty bc my efforts aren’t being noticed the way I want. Here, I feel inferior.

If you choose to interact with Wedge before going further, he tells you he will secure an escape route, asks you to keep his friends safe, and not to worry about him. Cloud may not give two shits yet, but as the player, I’ve begun to form an emotional attachment to Wedge. This guy is so caring! Cloud’s cold personality does not sway him! HOW can I not like Wedge?

We join up with the others and Barret asks him for directions to get to some bridge above mako storage. He then goes on in an increasingly aggravated manner and asks Cloud if he’s still a “loyal little doggy”. We can draw several conclusions from from this dialogue.

1. Cloud was once affiliated with some kind of power/company/force in opposition to Barret & co.

2. We are made to believe that Cloud left this company some time before for reasons we do not yet know.

2. Cloud was hired to help them infiltrate a building belonging to this opposing entity.

3. Barret’s lack of trust in Cloud correlates to his former affiliation with the opposing entity.

4. Mako is a source that this opposing entity has in possession. This building is huge. They must have quite a lot of it.

We are left with several questions about this character we are playing.

1. What is his objective?

2. What are his morals?

3. Where does his loyalty lie?

We lack this information, but we do know that Barret does not fully trust him because he’s a former enemy. So, can we trust Cloud too? Is he credible? Is he speaking the truth? Should we believe what he says? What if he’s a double agent? We have to play on as this character to find out.

Cloud experiences some kind of headache at the mention of “loyal little doggy” and it feeds us the idea that maybe he’s negatively triggered by it because it reminds him of something traumatic. This may be a clue that explains the reason for his departure from SOLDIER.

Barret calls him a mutt and exclaims “we can do this with you or we can do this without you.”

Cloud recovers from his headache and responds calmly. “Different reactor, different layout, depends when it was built. Never seen one like this, but I’ll manage.”

Barret’s use of “we” and “you” followed by Cloud’s “I” creates more of a separation between them.

Biggs gets the door open, but not for long. Cloud enters first—alone—Barret reaches his hand forward and shouts “wait!” and Cloud is left to fight alone while the others are locked outside of the room. When the fighting is over, Jessie chirps happily as she enters the room and makes a flirtatious comment which Barret tries to quickly shut down (lol).

Jessie gets this new door to open with her knowledge of passcodes through a friend. No one else at command will talk to them, but they must make due.

Now we know that this small team is a part of a bigger force, however, there isn’t a sense of unity as the command won’t socialize with this team specifically. Why though?

Biggs tells Jessie to be careful to which she responds with a smile. Cute moment showing Biggs’ concern and Jessie’s optimism/confidence—traits that may help us to understand their motivations and nature’s little more in the upcoming chapters.

If you talk to Barret, the first thing he tells Cloud is to be ready for the increasing security. “We can’t afford any more mistakes.” And he includes Cloud in this “we” this time around. It’s a subtle way for Barret to say they are a team and they should be working together. It also subtly reveals Barret’s soft and caring side. Classic soft teddy bear in a grizzly bear’s skin. You care, Barret—and the players care about you too, regardless what Cloud says.

Before getting into the elevator, Jessie asks about someone named Tifa and though it isn’t any of her business, she wonders if she and Cloud are close which is italicized to give an important emphasis on their relationship. Here, Jessie separates herself from the relationship between Cloud and Tifa, yet her interest in their relationship plus the flirting and comments on Cloud’s appearance hints that she may be interested in him ins romantic sense.

We hear and see a new name and for new players to the FFVII franchise, it’s common for people to consciously try to connect that name to a character. Tifa...Tifa... who is she? Why is Jessie asking Cloud about her? Wait, was Tifa the one who hired Cloud? Oh, is she the pink girl we saw in the intro?

The flashback sequence is important because it affirms to us that the pink girl from the intro is not Tifa, but an entirely different character. It is also worth noting that before the flashback, Cloud looks away from Jessie and willingly tries to remember Tifa. This flashback juxtaposes the quick flash of memories and migrain he receives when Barret calls him a loyal doggy. Those memories cause him pain when he remembers even bits and parts of it. The memories with Tifa are...well, we don’t quite know what they are to him yet, but there’s a stark contrast between how Cloud reacts towards the two memories.

The flashback reveals a town that doesn’t look like the city streets of the intro. We are experiencing this flashback through Cloud’s eyes. He looks at this tower hears Tifa call his name, and there we see she is surrounded by other boys. His focus jumps back and forth between her back to her surroundings. He turns away and Tifa asks if he is ignoring her. He focuses on her displeased face again and that is the last thing we see before the flashback ends—everything else in the background gets washed out with a pale green hue except for Tifa’s face. A hue of red is the only vibrant color left, and it’s centered on her face—we cut back to Cloud, and I don’t know if this the lighting effect was intended, but the red color on Cloud’s face is emphasized against a washed out background for a brief moment as well before the pale green hues face back into the regular color scheme. We also here what sounds like a heartbeat within the sharp static sounds? And so what are we left to think about this scene?

The music, mostly string instruments are played in a minor key that evoke mystery, nostalgia, and a sense of meekness. Tifa is the only one waving to him while the other boys rarely move an inch.

In the English version, he lifts his right hand with his palm open, a gentle gesture, and says “Tifa and I...” before he’s interrupted with the elevator buzzer.

We’re left with a sense that Tifa is someone from his childhood—a cute girl who is evidently popular among the other kids. The flashback initially leads us to think he wasn’t interested in being her friend as a child or that he was too shy/felt too inferior to all the boys hanging around her to accept her invitation...? The focus on Tifa’s face in his flashback, the redness in his face, followed by the subtle heart beat hints at a crush and that perhaps he may have been jealous/inferior to the other boys around her—thus, his hesitation when trying to explain his relationship with Tifa to Jessie.

An interesting fact that I noticed outside of my sister’s play through and discussions, the Japanese version has Cloud saying “oretachi” to refer to himself and Tifa. I looked into it, and basically—he’s trying to make himself seem more masculine and confident while also revealing that the relationship between he and Tifa is informal—implying that they are close.

It also shows subtle feelings of inferiority. He had to refer to himself like that to establish his masculinity right after a flashback with Tifa being surrounded by other boys. Way to be subtle about his feelings!

The English version, while less obvious, hints at his crush on Tifa in a different sense. The way he says “Tifa and I...” is a little less deep than how he usually speaks. Vocalization, hand gestures, facial expressions, music, and lighting and colorization in this short scene reveal a lot about Cloud’s feelings. His shyness in remembering this flashback reveal something tender in relation to this friend of his.

Just a fun fact that I personally wanted to share. For the sake of this analysis however, I won’t be talking about the Japanese dialogue and will only be referring to the English localization from this point on. Just wanted to share this info as it blatantly points towards Cloud’s characterization so early on in the story.in comparison to the English version.

Also note: the distance between Jessie and Cloud before the flashback and after. Jessie inches closer to Cloud and is the active participant in trying to close the distance between them, while Cloud stands still—a reflection of Cloud’s characterization and his relationship to others at this point. He’s seems to be socially stunted. While everyone else is trying to get closer to him, he’s emotionally and mentally not ready to make that connection.

There is so much to dissect in every chapter, but I’ve reached the image attachment limit and will continue this another time with screenshots attached as I believe it’s important to examine visual mediums while also providing images that are being examined in an analysis. 

So... to be continued in another post... stay tuned.

[afraschatz]

Leverage - The Rashomon Job

‘The Rashomon Job’ is clearly one of the cleverest episodes ever, is pretty much sheer storytelling porn all over. And I’m not even trying to go for a full analysis why it is so awesome and instead just stick to a random list of stuff I love aboutit. I love (that)...

... how the ep starts with the bar being ready for closing but the team minus Nate are mid-argument and completely oblivious to the fact that everyone else has left. This is so their living room, and as much as I like the notion that they all have other friends (one of my favourite thing about The Girls Night Out / The Boys Night Out actually), there is nothing more lovely than proof of them hanging out, even when they are not on a job

... Parker having fetched Dad err Nate to resolve the argument

... Sophie’s “shush, you did fine in prison the first time”. Like, Moreau who? We’re having a SERIOUS argument here

...”I STOLE IT” and ALL their expressions, but particularly Parker’s facepalm (haha, you know you’re in trouble when Parker is the sane one in a fight) and Hardison’s MASSIVE eyeroll. And Nate’s utter GLEE. He is so evil. And I think one of my favourite things about this ep is that his smirk does not go away for the ENTIRE episode. He is just so amused for the entire thing <3

... Eliot and Hardison backing each other up re: Sophie is lying

... Sophie being the first one to tell her story. Which makes so much sense because everything we see - the museum itself, the guests in the background, the music, the food, everything, is what Sophie TELLS us. Even though we don’t hear her say all that of course, the fact that we as viewers see all that is due to Sophie setting the scene with so much attention to detail. It’s a setting that the others’ stories will continue using / warping to their convenience, but the ground work is all Sophie’s

... Sophie’s choice of dress for this. I love you, Sophie, but what an actual catastrophe is that pink thing? Whyyyyy? I mean, okay aside from the fact that everyone else is NOT wearing pink and clearly she is the center of attention (I mean, she takes the time to tell us that she got fricking APPLAUSE on arrival)

... Nate appearing out of nowhere behind her, completely not dressed for the occasion and the only one not smitten with her. His questions of course clue you in that this is Nate-in-the-pub asking these questions, but I am so in love with his sudden appearance, his casual clothes, his lack of admiration being the visible info that he is NOT part of the story. And don’t get me started on the mirror / Nate behind glass thing, and Coswell standing in exactly the same spot that Nate just vacated

... and there is the second thing about Sophie’s way of telling the story. She is so proud of her accomplishment and the scene she set and is setting again for Nate’s sake that she includes details such as other people’s jewellery etc, but she completely fails to focus even just once on other people. She dismisses the waitress/Parker without looking at her, same as she didn’t even glance at Coswell. Such a great bit of Sophie characterisation right there

... Bioko slapping the offended guest’s butt. Because of course Bioko is Hardison and while we can’t trust his account of events later on either (=being adored by every female in the room), THIS kind of behaviour doesn’t fit him either. So again, it’s down to Sophie’s kind of faulty storytelling here; she needs an oaf for a fall guy/distraction and Bioko kinda fits the bill and she leaves it at that

... Sophie hurrying up the storytelling when Bioko is coking. That contrasted to the amount of time she spent relaying to us how utterly enchanting Abernathy found her? Again, so neat, because Sophie isn’t really interested in any kind of drama she isn’t the centre of, and thus the entire man-dying-situation is merely a footnote to her - hastily told, strangely paced and comically overacted by Abernathy

...Sophie’s completely different body language when she plays the doctor. Her accents of course are legend, but man, the way she changes her walk and posture and gestures as well? So flawless

... Sophie perceiving Coswell’s attention to her as a threat and thus completely missing that he is flirting with her. That in combination of her thinking that Abernathy is flirting while Eliot definitely has other motives (as well)? Wow, Sophie, something really is going wrong with your pulling game that night :)

... Sophie even adding sound effects to the completely over-the-top (and imaginary) shotgun that Coswell in her story carries down the stairs

...”The dagger wasn’t in the shipment” - and Eliot’s GLEE. Seriously, he and Nate in this ep? Such dicks. Such brothers. <3

...the setting for Eliot’s part of the story. Where Sophie gave us an establishing shot of the museum, then the museum in all its glory and filled with guests, what does Eliot give us? Some concrete walls, cardbord boxes and neon light. What is far more important is a detailled account on the fight with two guys we don’t even know and that don’t even matter. Because fighting is important, damnit

... “If I’m not honest with you, you can’t improve”

...after Eliot re-used Sophie’s establishing shot of the museum, once again, he goes for the dark-corners-close up. In that car, with that poor guy. And all Eliot has to do to be seriously scary is to just not smile. He doesn’t even need to raise his voice

... Eliot taking the piss out of Sophie’s accent. We know he can do Sophie’s normal accent properly - he just DID it when he took over the story and told the team that he was Abernathy - so the sole reason why he uses that accent is because he wants to mess with Sophie <3

...the size of the knife. Thank you, Eliot, for clearing that up. That makes so much more sense than Sophie’s (or Hardison’s or Parker’s OR Nate’s version)

...Bioko and Eliot in the basement. Eliot being annoyed by Hardison without even knowing it IS Hardison, hahaha <3

... locked-up comedy frame. Always hilarious

...again, a very detailled and close up account of the fight

... Coswell carrying the box for the roses, not a gun, in Eliot’s story. Because different from the grifter, the hitter of course can tell a box from a shotgun

... “Ipcress. Weird eyes. Funny hair.” - Hahaha, so charming, Eliot

...Eliot throwing away that vase so it shatters. Given that the entire box of stuff belongs to Sophie? Just another way to mess with her

...Eliot’s story ending before he opens the box. Different to Sophie whose first version of the tale showed us her holding the dagger (“That was the plan”), Eliot is honest, he just leaves out the important bit. Too bad that Hardison knows what happened next

... “What, is stealing mail a crime?” Parker <3

...”Well, whatever it takes to get the job done, babe.” - WHY, Leverage? WHY is Eliot not calling Sophie “babe” all the time. I want that now. Give it to me.

...I also want Hardison to call Eliot “babe”. Why didn’t I get that either? Unfair

...such a neat way to wrap up Eliot’s side story of Gutman blackmailing him. So perfectly framed - because while watching it for the first time, you’re so hooked on the dagger theft that you don’t notice Nate’s expression and the suspiciously convenient way that got resolved

... Hardison’s villainous cackle and his grin <3

...Parker and the shell-game. Again SO NEAT. Because this is what’s being done to us as viewers here and we SHOULD know how the shell-game works, that Hardison doesn’t end up with the dagger either, that Parker as the one operating the shell game actually has the prize (well, is closest to it)

... Hardison’s accent. Accent porn

... Hardison’s repeated slip-ups (“My nana’s house, err my house”) and his competely over-the-top recollection of his flirting success in that ultra-short montage

... his version of the Eliot/Sophie dance and his grin of approval. Why exactly do you take a photo of that, Hardison??

...Hardison making Sophie sound like one of the dwarves from LotR. Because clearly he COULD do a better job at a British accent. But why should he? Especially since the boyfriend err I mean the partner in crime err Eliot so obviously approves

...Eliot, the maniac, tackling him to the ground, trying to open his throat with a figgin machete (what is a knife that size doing at that party?)

... “Let’s get you somewhere quiet now, where there is no witnesses” continued by Eliot being CREPPY in the basement and Hardison’s ultra-fake smile hahaha

...”I still beat you” - because for Hardison this is what this is about. Beating Eliot. Who are these other people even :)?

... the shell game reveal and Nate is SO PROUD of Parker <333

...Parker’s story is SO not about any of that mood-setting shit or any of the details like... other people in the room. She even interrupts Nate when he asks her for her way in. Because this is about where to stash her gear, and how to get to the prize. Nothing else matters.

...Hardison stealing food and being SO adorably Hardison, Sophie being weird in her Britishness, Coswell being annyoingly “there” in Parker’s story

... SOUND EFFECTS FOR THE HUGE KNIFE. Because Parker’s life clearly is anime.

...the hasty and jagged storytelling. Yes, that is also because we’re hearing the story for the forth time, but it definitely shows how Parker tells a story

... Parker skipping <3

...Parker being honest about losing the dagger

...Nate’s portrayal of the others in his version. Sophie being just that little bit arrogant, Parker being cold, Eliot and his swagger, and all that in contrast to the utter adorableness of Coswell (and Nate being a DICK to him) : All that is very realistic. And then he adds a dash of humour to it: the size of the knife that Parker hands Eliot and Eliot’s WTF reaction to it for instance

... the actor playing Coswell is just awesome. So awesome. I feel for him here, poor guy.

... Nate not being IN his version of the story except for the beginning and the end. Instead his job is to put the pieces together and get the most imporant (and realistic) bits from the others in a straight line

... “Pretty eyes, little ponytail in her hair” - Aw, Nate <3 (And Eliot’s AMUSEMENT in that version of the story. Really, Nate, in your world Eliot is a romantic softie? I am not judging. Actually, I approve. Of that and of “You need a tissue” compassionate Hardison as well)

... Nate being a cold-hearted insurance guy asshole. I mean I don’t love him like that because he is horrible, but I love the contrast of that Nate to Team-Leverage-Nate and what that says about the influence of these four people on him <3

... while Sophie, Parker, and Hardison run out, Eliot hangs back. That moment of silent communication between him and Nate? I LOVE their relationship

SUCH a perfect episode <3

[ramblingshit]

Jane Eyre - 1996 - 2/5

what even is acting. what even is a script.

wasn't gonna do this one but fuck it's aunt petunia and rogue. here we go.

lots of credits fairo. more credits. damn fukin eh - i hear you're a wicked child! lol hi. now we're talking about hell and where bad people go. 'keep well and not die' ahaha m8. fkn reed putting seed in that she's a liar. teach her at her prospects, don't let her come back, she's a lying little shit take her away from here. he's appropriately scary oh shit she's saying this in front of the priest. damn tear that lady a new one. unruly, obstinate, wicked, deceitful, man these people hate kids who act out. walks in and damn she's on teh stool already - IS THAT THE LADY FROM PERSUASION. damn she just got here and he's telling everyone to not trust her, she doesn't get to eat and has to stand - she's just done hours of travelling fuckin assholes. IT IS THE LADY FROM PERSUASION. shes got dark hair and dark eyes and shes like glaring at everyone like shes onna kill him in their sleep. lol enjoy helen while she's alive. eatin bread and cheese in bed like she's not gonna get crumbs. omg telling these kids how to stand properly what why this lady hate her she's gonna cane her for not washing her hands. bish doesn't even flinch go helen. 'cleanliness is next to godliness' alright crazy. this school is a lot more chill than most of the others - they're laughing and doing what they want as well as learning and playing games. making jane out to be a pro artist. oh no ol mate saw her with her hair out. no dont cut it. 'vanity?' shes out here with naturally long, red and curly hair and he's out here calling her vain? because he recognises it as lovely she must be vain about it? what a fkn dickhole get off your high horse sexist moron pig anus head. what. he's saying her naturally  iwgh what i don't even understand his shit - it isn't offending him thats the issue its her naturally occuring sin and vanity (because her hair exists?) that is the issue??  what. lol go Jane. NO. oh fuck go Jane go. this guyyyy. don't do it Jane. chin held high she only does it when Helen nods at her to. DAAAAAAAAMN. took of her own bonnet. if Helen's hair goes so does Janes. they stood together looked at each other and flipped their heads over for him to go snip snip, bish looked shock and actually stepped back in horror. What a bae. Helen's fkn dying send help. fuck this lady should not be working with children considering how much she hates children. o shit where's helen. her beds all rolled up. can hear her hacking away in the distance. yikes that sounds bad. jane be creepin. oh fuck she's a terrible actress even as a kid. who honestly thinks its a good idea to hire her. she lying in her dying friend's bed and she's breathing all over her. isn't anna paquin australian? no? ah new zealand fairo. oh fuck Helen's daed. she's trying to squeeze out tears ahah oh no. she can't manage it. anna go back to new zealand you suck at acting who hired you ever. Riparoonies helen. that was actually the greatest jane and helen moment i've seen tbh. oh damn cool transition as she walked from helen's grave - she went from kid to adult. whats this part down the midde all of them got. Miss Temple fam, persuasion lady, fantastic lady, crying as Jane leaves like her mumma. this jane is long-flat-faced with a long protruding jaw, and very tall and skinny. thornfield looks like its already burned down ahaha. straight up castle here. she's got her drawing stuff as well as her bag. nice friendly ol mate meets her and opens the gates - big ass square this is some game of thrones shit yearh this place is like medieval more than victorian. the middle parted hair and the curled twists behind her head they're pretty much exactly the same in most Janes. all chillin and chatting about this together rather than completely separate. adele actually legit sounds french rather than just pretending? noice. dreary, cold, dark halls. her room is bright and airy with a four-poster bed and bay windows and lots of very nice furniture. river runs beside it; enormous tapestries; main gallery with lots of furniture and paintings and sculpures all covered in sheets with windows open to let in light; the doors are very large and heavy. Janes got a very long neck she looks legit like a fkn swan lmao. ooh a rochester backstory. well-travelled, intelliegent, can't tell if he's talking in jest or in earnest, or if he is pleased or irritated, not a happy man. they're just walking about in his rooms. the sun shines bright but cannot reach them through the thick mist. they're very soft-spoken. god her head is so far forward she's like the alien - long ass neck stretching forward and then her chin and jaw stretching wayyyy forward. wack wack anatomy.  it's very dark and dreary. she's off for a walk leaving adele to do like 5 sums. oh she's been here five minutes and they're already meeting. the music is like ... not appropriately intense? he just sorta looked at her, the horse tripped over and then he was on the floor and she's like whoops uh you alright bro. he's outright lying and pretending that he's not rochester his hair is grotty he's got like no hair on top they've just tries to scraggle it. this is so stunted and awkward. i hope it gets better. he's very gentle and she's pretty nonexistent to far. my god very gentle man. what. is he even rochester? that's a german shepherd. noice. playin chess by himself by the fire lol. this movie would be made infinitely better by an actual soundtrack. they're all chilling together again it's interesting - adele and fairfax and rochester and jane. wait she's been here 4 months. it literally didn't show anything about her chilling here. she talked back and now he's grumpy lol. what a terrible start compared to like... every other first convo. isn't she supposed to be not great at piano and yet she's teaching adele -- wait now we're at another convo between the duo. this convo is the other half of --- wait now we're talking sketches? jesus she hmm what are they talking about she's being forward and fuck her chin twists forward as she speaks she kinda looks like the wicked witch of the west. he's judging her drawings like he can do better. this is a mess? the best part about this so far is adele.  there's no sense of time. adele is gorgeous honestly. she's pale and gaunt with bags beneath her eyes. wait here's the next part of the conversation. blunt and brusque replies from her. god they're so obviously acting its painful. they have no chemistry because the CONVERSATION IS ALL OVER THE PLACE. they've done it on pruspose to try stretch things out a bit but like plz EY why he scrunch up the drawing wtf. 'and remember the shadows are as important as the light'. dudes. these are private conversations? it would be alright to try it more naturally but they're just not the kind of things you casually say. it's impersonal and there's no intimacy. sit there and watch a kid dance to the sound of a music box. he's so grumpy looking. now snapping at the kid. he's annoying. like a violent dude he feels more like a nice guy quick to snap - definitely kinda unhinged. and now drunk. hmm i don't like it. she told him not to be mean to adele and he rages about her mother, 'you've made adele feel unwanted and unloved' damn this Jane goes for the throat. she's too good for him I can see it now m8. he's a psycho run. red flag red flag. don't like it. lol he wake up like huh.... oh look beds on fire... huh... well suppose i should sort it out... huh... fuck they're barely acting huh. do they even want to be here. how much are these guys getting paid. he's literally a drunk. and has she had a drink in her life? she just went for it? omg so impersonal - isn't he supposed to be already half in love with her by this point? camera angle just flicks forward and back as the conversation goes on and when theres action it just pans back to the widest shot ever lol just show the entire scene why give any emphasis or focus to anything who needs reaction shots and feelings of being in it rather than observing it. fkn ey. he's literally just an angry blitering brooding drunk yikes. he's staring at her tits? these conversations man... he definitely just said jade instead of jane. m8 don't tell me he didn't. there's more intimacy between all the servants and jane and feeling more like an actual squad living together than there is any feeling between rochester and jane. adeles got a frog lol cute. 'you're a fool,' jane tells her reflection. this music is so shit it's bringing everything down. rochester, who's been an unfeeling ass the whole time, holds her hand once and now she's got a big crush on him. she's very spirited - to the point where she could too easily be cruel. like it's not just a repressed forcefulness it's like a hidden rage. can see her going mad and chopping someone up with icy rage and poised pleasure. wonder if i'm in a mood and interpreting this wrong? but honestly. dancing rochester now? instead of singing. adele is glaring at Mrs Ingram who just insulted jane lolol go kid she's definitely the best part. the background people actually make this place feel alive and natural, completely unlike their FUCKING AWFUL conversations. jesus what. god could you have two people less interested in each other? i think this fairfax knows about bertha. there's a 'tapestry bedroom'? lol what does that mean. they're dancing, playing cards, piano, the lot. oh the walls are literally covered in tapestries, that's creepy af. theres so much blood my dude would be dead yo. will hurt like doesn't know how to act. wwait theyve skipped my 'fav scene'?? theyre shaking hands again, wtf is this. wait what shes just met stjohn n he;s the one telling her all about the reeds? petunias dying 'love me then or hate me as you will - you have my full and free forgiveness' - i cant forgive any version that misses that out: its so powerful as part of her character. stalking her while he smokes in the dark what a creeper. 'how cuold you be so stupid!' lol fight him Jane i dont even know how we got to kissing likr the movie is almost 2 hours and yet it feels SO rushed. literally took away all the secret courting and his sneaky declarations. shes a modern woman trapped in an old age.  she is so skinny. and with entirely stiff expressions. ew he makes me so uncomfortable. theyre not even trying lol. acting ey acting have u heard of it. just left jane at the altar like bye bitch.shes just in a giant empty ugly room. bertha is a very young and frightened girl but also very sick in the typical long white dress and long dark hair. god this guy is a whingebum. bertha understands everything he's saying. oh yikes lol she just whipped a log from the fire and went after Jane and Jane just put her veil back down with like a sigh turned and yeeted slowly away long ass veil over a white bonnet, silk cape thing in a dark hallway walking all miserable. she's outies lol he's just let her walk out? i love u and i love u. bye. bertha's taken another log from the fire and lit the wedding dress on fire along with the house ahaha. wait he let her leave the house then ran after her on horseback but had to stop after bertha lit the place on fire it started burning and we're actually seeing it happen? interesting. the house is burning, pepople are running, bertha's on the battlements and rochester is going up there to --oh fuck grace poole got yeeted over by bertha oh she's flying ahahaha jumped down to where she threw grace poole. rochesters in the fire. jane's off and racing. it's all happened at once. she went to stjohns, didn't even get dumped in teh marshes but down she goes after chilling in a coach for 3 days. shes been there a month. her jaw is so long and forward its creepy. again one fo the few telling her that she's wealthy from inheritance from her uncle. more backstory. she was deeply loved by her parents, now she's wealthy, lifes looking up but she's all upset after than asshole lol move on and be happy. she's hearing his voice on the wind like please chill. damn 6months. what. um. he's very awkwardly trying to propose? but its like the last half of the conversation with the first bit just cut out. so weird. she looks normal face-on. oh she decides after the proposal to go back - none of that chasing after voices nonsense. whoops that shit burned downnn. doggoooo is still alive. what a good boy. fuck me there's like no anticipation, no intensity, no build-up, no chemistry, it's so dry and cold and heartless. christ acting. act. acting. act. please. act. what is happening. act. she has the neck of a swan ol mate. fucking gross. their words are stilted, and not romantic in the slightest and especially not in their delivery. theyre walking with no kids but the dog but they're talking about the kids. oh my god. that was pretty fkn awful. like seriously not good.

[softstraykidsimagines]

Boyfriend!Felix Stray Kids

OH BOY

Felix.

The meme himself

The creator of Changpil

I know right here and now this is going to end me

Let’s get started!

His crush on you is so bloody obvious

He’s not the subtle type

That’s not to say he isn’t hella shy with you tho

No no

He’s gonna tease you to no end istg

But he’ll always end up reassuring you that he doesn’t mean it at all and how special you truly are

Just RaNDoMly likes to crush you in a hug

Quoting the meme “that’s my best friend that’s my best friend!!””

Ye he’s very energetic with you

He’s never

NEVER

Going to stop talking around you

Unless he gets flustered with you

And then he’ll sit verrrrry still

Hands on his lap

With his lips pressed together

And owl eyes

0_0

You don’t really get why he does it

It’s cute tho

What you don’t realize is that he’s fighting with every fiber of his being to not scream and dance around because

Holy shit

He’s head over heels for you

He’s gonna try to confess romantically

Pfft like that’s gonna work out

Gonna try to take you to your favorite takeout restaurant and buy your favorite food

And he’s gonna try to stay calm

He doesn’t stay calm

He’ll suddenly blurt everything in one go:

“Soireallylikeyouandivelikedyouforasuperlongtimesoiwashopingwecouldhangoutasmorethanjustfriendssometime???!!!!!”

Basically shouted

And you’re sitting in front of him SH00K AF because

1) he confessed so suddenly

2) he did just basically yell in your face

Needless to say you’re a little lost

And poor Felix

He just looks at you horrified, apologizes for shouting and kinda looks in every direction as if waiting for someone to come rescue him

But he doesn’t get up

And finally lowers his head

“Sorry I was an idiot there…. I panicked…? I don’t know how to think staight with you”

And you’re about to get teary-eyed because BOI THAT WAS SO SINCERE

“I really like you too, Felix” you say beaming

He’s gonna look at you with the happiest smile ever omg

The same expression he had when JYP said they were debuting as 9 that expression gives me life tbh

So there we go! You guys go on a first date and it’s a sealed deal from there!

Dates with Felix

How to put it?

Chaotic? Ye that’s the word

Improvised, chaotic, fun, amazing dates

You’re ready to collapse at the end of it lol

Especially loves to go to archades or a laser tag I LOVE LASER TAG AND I WANT TO PLAY LASER TAG WITH FELIX DAMMIT *ahem* excuse me

Can you imagine running around in a dark room playing against another huge team

Which Felix is in

You don’t really know-how you both ended up on different teams smh

And you round a corner to see him facing you with the slyest of smiles

“Hey y/n! Look, I’ve got a gun!!” And proceeds to shoot you

Earning a yell of anger from you as he runs away laughing his ass off

Isn’t shy about skinship

Holds your hand without hesitation

But if you peck him on the cheek without warning

He’s gonna have a red face

And he’ll slowly melt into a puddle of goo in your hands

Ye he’s soft

Your first kiss is from a dare I bet

“You need to beat me at this game or I get a kiss”

“But you’re really good at this game and I suck!!”

“Exactly! Now let’s play”

He wins but you refuse to kiss him

“I never agreed to your terms, mister”

He pouts like a puppy but you don’t back down

“Fine then” he sulks “I’ll play it your way” and he snatches your food

Crisps, gummy sweets or a churro, he’s gonna take it and run off with it

“HOW. DARE. YOU STEAL MY FOOD! GET BACK HERE” you run after him, and you both get looks from passing people they judgin you hard

You finally catch up to him, huffing and puffing “give it back, dork”

He jumps around refusing to give your food back

You’ve lost all patience by now

You’re practically steaming when you finally growl “give it back you son of a b—“

He kissed you right on the lips, interrupting you

When you part he’s gonna let out a little scream

“I’m sorry I surprised you! That wasn’t at all planned! Can we rewind and start over??”

And then he’ll run away again, panicking.

With your food.

“FELIX ITS FINE JUST GIVE ME BACK MY DAMN SNACK”

Hehe you better wear ear defenders when you meet the rest of SK

They’re gonna scream 10x louder than ever when they see you

Congratulating Felix, warning you not to tell him where you hide your food etc

You know, Stray Kids stuff :)

“Y/n, can you teach us how you keep him under control?” -Hyunjin

“That would be useful but no one can control that hurricane of a kid” -Chan

“Feel free to hit him if he gets too annoying” -Jisung, as felix tries to wrestle him into the ground

“I hope you’re the right one for him, y/n” says Changbin. “He’s a good person, so don’t hurt him; or you’ll have to deal with me” it highkey sounds like a threat, hello Changlix

You two are the couple that don’t know wtf they’re doing half the time

You’re just having the time of your lives being together

Both of you will be lost if the other gets sick

“Is it a cold? Flu? What can I do to help?? And I might need help in helping you...” -either one of you

After many failed attempts at trying to make food or find the right medicine, you’ll just fall asleep on each other, completely exhausted 

Felix can get insecure about his elimination in the 9th cries in 4 different languages 

And sometimes will work himself to the bone 

If you try to stop him he’ll get really defensive 

He’ll push you away 

“You don’t understand! You can’t understand! How can you?! I need to get this perfect or... or.....” 

He realizes what he said and that it must have hurt you 

Even if you keep a plain face and a steady voice, he’ll know that it hurts you 

He’ll just break down in tears 

“I’m sorry *sniff* I can’t even talk to you properly.... I want to get this right, I want to prove that I deserve to be in Stray Kids....” 

You’re crying as hard as he is

Because his pain is yours as well 

You hug him tightly, listing all the amazing things he can do 

And all the things you love about him 

And you’ll repeat over and over how much he does deserve to be in Stray Kids

And that will calm him down 

NO MORE ANGST IM CRYING DONT LOOK AT ME 

He loves teaching you dances 

Not just dances that SK have done, but dances he’s done before moving to Korea 

Will actually interrupt you if you try to tell him that you can’t dance 

“You can. Because I’m teaching you. And i say you can dance. So you can dance.” 

Veeeerrry stubborn  

Tried to teach you to beat box like him 

It doesn’t work 

Sometimes asks for help when he’s learning something new in Korean 

Even if you suck at speaking it he’ll enjoy trying to learn with you 

Isn’t the texting type 

He’ll call/FaceTime you when he knows you’re free and when he wants to update you in the day 

Is the type to yell your name as soon as you pick up 

And you reciprocate by yelling his name 

If you’re in a place where you won’t draw too much attention to yourself 

You both send your fav memes 

Or quote them lmao 

He loves quoting hella old things the other members have said and melts when you start saying them too 

It drives SK up the wall RIP 

You two are in charge of cooking 2-3 nights a week for the boys 

Neither of you know why Chan was so ruddy insistant on it 

But meh you just roll with it 

If you have to cut onions, you’re both gonna start singing Seventeen’s ‘Don’t Wanna Cry’ 

The cooking days can be either a complete success 

Or a total disaster 

There is no in between 

At all. 

But most of the time you guys make a decent meal to feed 8 other hungry children artists so everyone’s happy 

This boy is nervous as fuck to meet your family  

At first he tries to back out of it 

“Ah ye, I think I’ll be sick on that day?” 

“What?” 

“I MEAN I MIGHT HAVE AN APPOINTMENT” 

He sucks at lying 

But he actually gets his shit together when you meet up 

Good clothes, perfect hair I mean he has perfect hair anyway sooo 

And he’s super smiley 

He’s obviously tense 

To you anyway 

But your fam don’t seem to pick up on his nervousness 

And the day goes by smoothly, and Felix finally relaxes 

He’s gonna flip his shit when you ask to come with him next time he goes to Australia 

He’s gonna start planning it immediately 

If his family don’t beat him to it and visit in Korea that is....

Then he stops functioning 

Amazing s/o + family = happiest boy on the planet 

And you’re relatively chilled about meeting him parents 

And they are SO SWEET 

You get along so freaking well with his sisters and he lowkey becomes jealous 

It’s just the most amazing thing for both of you ever 

In the evenings after practice Felix loves to just drift off while you two talk 

From what you did in the day to a random anecdote from a decade ago 

He enjoys the peace of it until he falls asleep 

Will collapse with happiness if you wear his hoodies 

“ITS LOOKS SO GOOD ON YOU” 

“Felix are you seriously crying right now?”

“I’m just so stupidly lucky” 

Definitely not gonna say ‘I love you’ on purpose 

100% an accident 

He’s gonna say it when he’s half asleep, probs won’t even realize that he’s said it until you react 

“Man, I must dead-ass be the luckiest person on Earth to have someone as amazing as you” he rambles. “I love you so much and I just want to tell the world that I do....” 

Leaving you SH00K to the core 

“YOU WOT MATE?” 

If you say it first he’s gonna cry 

Don’t @ me I know he’s gonna cry 

He's probs stolen your food again

And he’s lowkey being a twat 

“If you had to choose your fav food or me, what would you choose?” 

“Seriously? The food, duh” 

“DUDE WHAT? Alright then! I’ll just leave” you drag him back by his arm 

“Noooooo don’t leave I don’t want you to gooooo” 

“Why not?” 

“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU DAMMIT, WHY ELSE YOU IDIOT” 

He’d do that thing again 

0_0 

“Oh my god, Felix I’m sorry it just slipped out” 

“...”

“Felix?”

“I LOVE YOU TOO” he screams 

Once again leaving you SH00K 

And he’ll crush you in the biggest hug ever 

IM SO SOFT HALP MEH 

When SK are away 

Ngl, I would pray for them 

Felix is a whiney baby without you 

Can even be in a grumpy mood 

FaceTimes you in the evenings 

His or your evenings, depending on the time zone

And you two will talk quietly until one of you falls asleep

It’s insanely adorable 

Will actually start dancing in the airport before seeing you because he’s so bloody excited 

And the rest of the boys disown him 

“Who’s that, dancing? He looks like a pigeon” -Woojin

“Dunno, never seen him before in my life” -Minho

Earning a protest from Felix

Your ears will fall off when he finally sees you 

“OHMYGODY/NYOU’REHEREI’VEMISSEDYOUSOMUCHI’MSOGLADTOSEEYOUAGAIN” 

“FELIX SHUT UP YOU’RE RAMBLING AGAIN”

“WHY ARE WE STILL YELLING?”

Changbin butts in “I DON’T KNOW SO SHUT THE FUCK UP”

He’ll go public about your relationship anytime after a year 

In the least flattering way for you 

He’s definitely the guy who pretends to take a photo and ends up taking a video smh 

You’re both smiling at the camera and he’s not taking it 

“Hurry up, man, my cheekbones are getting sore” 

No response from him 

You immediately catch on what he was doing 

“Omg I can’t believe you!!!” 

As he laughs like an idiot 

Will still make sure you’re ok with him posting it tho 

And when he does 

TheInternetHasShutDown.jpg 

You guys will break the internet

There’s not a single person of consequence who doesn’t love you two 

It’s absolutely amazing 

A/N: PHEW! This adorable nugget coming to wreck all your bias lists lmao

Hope enjoy reading! Later :D

[mentalcurls]

8. Lo sanno tutti a scuola

Episode 8! Thing are not great for Eva right now. It’s fun that I always start the episodes and think I don’t have that much to say about them, then I always end up writing at least 3 pages of ramblings. This time the topics that came up were Giovanni’s maturity, my headcanons about Edoardo and romance novels. And of course at the end of the post there are the results ot the Bechdel test!

that shot with the sky, Eva and the house with the gradient geometric shapes behind her is gorgeous, jeez

also, the song that mimics Eva’s heartbeat skipping while she looks for Gio

ok, so, did Gio send Marti out or was he leaving on his own?

Marti sure loves his dramatic pauses

and like, Gio was dealing with this in a pretty mature way? Not talking to Eva but not asking anyone else (Marti) to ostracize her, asking her for space and telling her he’ll contact her; except then there’s the “you made everything go to shit”

MARTI FEELS SO FUCKING GUILTY! Look at him, he avoids looking at Eva for too long, his eyes are basically soulless, he’s staring into nothing and hating himself

“Stai tranquilla” says Marti and then again Eleonora, a few minutes later: guys, I get you don’t really know what to say to make Eva feel better, to tell her you’re there for her but “Stai tranquilla” doesn’t help! She feels guilty and ashamed and isolated, she need reassurance she’ll get through this with you!

that scene with “Million reasons” playing 💔 Gio glancing at the back of Eva’s head then turning away 💔 the fact that I can’t see Gio’s eyes properly to gauge how shitty Gio feels, how much he cried, how little he slept 💔

the boys all turning back to look at Eva 💔 Marti lingering 💔 Elia turning Gio’s head 💔 (but also threading his fingers through Gio’s hair 💖)

and it’s so significant that Ele and Silvia get to Eva’s class walking upstream, against the current of people going outside (who are represnt the sheep mentality of high schoolers blaming Eva for Fede cheating because they listen to gossip)

and Eva takes a breath when she sees the girls and she must be so relieved, it must feel like it’s the first time she’s able to breathe properly since Alice slapped her

Silvia keeps looking at Eleonora while she talks, as if looking for reassurance, and I’m so curious! I wanna know if Ele’s looking back, if they’re pulling a full on Elia-and-Giovanni-parenting-Martino!

ohhh, the showdown between Ele and Silvia and Laura and Sara (also, notice how both couples of girls are blonde+brunette?)

that last look between Ele and Silvia before the second group hug! They’re totally concerned moms parenting Eva

that second hug is so soft I’m 💖

oh, poor Eva! As if her week wasn’t bad enough she has to get her period, poor babe

not to mention the misogynistic insults written in the bathroom stall about her

oh God, I know what Eva’s feeling when her mom confronts her: I bet she genuinely hasn’t thought of the fight in a while, more concerned with Gio and the looks and insults and general hostility (on top of school of course) so she’s honestly caught off guard (it happened to me with a professor who took me aside cause he found out I’d let a classmate copy a translation during a test, and I’d completely forgotten about it, I had no idea what the hell he was talking about when he asked me if there was something I wanted to tell him… it was horrible)

Paola is obviously concerned already but I don’t think she’s let herself fully appreciate the kind of situation Eva is in and she only gets a glimpse when she sits her daughter down and listens to her rant, but her expression changes immediately

except them she brings up Giovanni! As if that is the most important thing! Her daughter told her she’s stressed, she doesn’t sleep at night and she latches onto Gio?? WTF

and that sigh at the end, that’s Paola realizing just how much she is in fact out of the loop of Eva’s life, just like Eva told her a minute earlier, cause probably they haven’t talked about Eva’s boyfriend since the failed dinner! She let weeks pass without asking who he is again? Cause Eva would’ve told her if she’d asked around ep. 6, let’s say right after the park scene with Gio

ok, but Eva is slightly stalking Giovanni: they’re in the same class, fine; she went to look for him at his house immediately after the fight, understandable; but when she’s on the steps with Ele?? Girl, he asked you for some space!

Silvia is making good choices as far as fashion consultant go in this season (in S2 however she asks Marti to go shopping with her,so…….)

“You don’t have to wait for his permission, just go there and talk to him” and Eleonora Sava lets me down here. If someone asks you for space, you give ‘em space, love

Eleonora is kind of OOC here: since when is she so concerned with what other people think that she polices what kind of music she listens to and feels like she has to justify herself because of it’s a silly, catchy, pop song?

anyways, this whole scene screams Evanora to me, with pining!Ele trying to distract Eva from Gio and at the same time show her that she’s there, available, look at me Eva, I make you smile!! Men are trash, but there’s *drumroll* girls! Like me! I’m a girl! 

and then Edoardo gets there, interrupts their moment and proves men are trash: he creeps up on them from behind, insinuates himself in a conversation he has no business being involved in and mocks Ele both for her singing, her musical choices and her justifying herself. Primary school level pigtail pulling.

and then he just stares at her! Like a dumbass! Like he hopes she’ll get lost in the bottomless pits of his eyes or something! Like he’s out of a clichè romance novel or a bodice ripper!

new headcanon: Edoardo secretly reads tons of Harmony paperbacks (similar to Harlequin novels, for those of you who aren’t Italian) and all of his ideas and opinions on love and romance come from the books. So far, he’s been the typical rich, popular, brooding hero who loves and leaves with Silvia and now he’s the man who pursues the woman who tells him no with Eleonora so the shoe fits perfectly. Let’s see how it evolves

he offers her a ride home! The only thing missing is a white horse and the slain of some attacker who wanted to hurt Ele

the “Eduardo” thing is so stupid! They could have gone the Eberardo/Everardo route much easily and it would have been much funnier cause it’s an uncommon, pretentious name! Or they could have gone for something completely different like that still started with E, there’s a lot of pretty weird-sounding names like Evaristo, Eusebio, Ermenegildo that start with E (in the og Noora calls William Wilhelm which is pretty different, so I think they would have worked well)

Edo is smart here: Ele tries to shove back in his face the not-knowing-your-name thing he did to Silvia, but he neatly sidesteps her and the only comeback she has is insulting him directly: Edoardo 1 - Eleonora 0 tbh, this is a struggle of wit and she went vulgar

Eleonora is badass, but I can’t help but feel she’s very 16 years old

ok, the following conversation is a bit weird: Eva’s question is pretty clear, yet Ele asks for clarification, then when Eva says she did it on purpose Ele denies, then say the thing about manipulation

the real thing that should worry Eva is that Eleonora has mind categories for the people she knows such as “adversaries” tbh

Eva shaming Ele for listening to Baby K (along with Ele asking for a vow of secrecy and justifying himself for the song she sung) throws me back to ep. 3 when Eva talks to Gio about her classmates enjoying k-pop and manga: girls, who on earth made you believe that liking silly, catchy, fun, pop stuff that is marketed specifically for you, that tries to cater to your interests, that exists and is successful thanks to you, is wrong and something to be ashamed of? Why being passionate about something feminine or light, that doesn’t require a huge effort to understand it, or again frivolous is such a bad thing? You’re allowed to like whatever you want, you’re allowed to spend hours and hours on it and you’re allowed to share your interest with other people like you who enjoy those things! Let the others say it’s trashy or stupid stuff, they don’t know shit about what it means to you!

aaaand we’re back to Eva not giving Gio space, going to his place again then having Marti tell him where he is

and she’s even wearing an oversized denim jacket that’s quite reminiscent of Gio’s!

blue Eva, blue train, blue pool

red Gio! I don’t think I’ve ever seen Gio not wear blue or grey, even in this season?!

this angry Gio is not exactly the same hurt, disappointed boy from 5.6 Quante cazzate in S2, because with Marti it’s been a slow boil, things bubbling up a little bit at a time plus there’s the extenuating circumstance of his home situation; with Eva, there some foreshadowing, something wrong, but it was a sudden stab, a fundamentally unexpected betrayal; so where in S2 there’s a lot of sadness too, in this situation it’s pure anger

and Eva does the right thing, she tells the truth… except she doesn’t, the very first thing she says is a lie she tells both Gio and herself, because it’s not true she isn’t attracted to Federico

AND AGAIN WITH THE SEXIST LANGUAGE GIOVANNI, you asshole, did you really have to go for “hysterical”?? A very gendered term?

and thank God Eva is given a chance to throw it back to his face, all the gaslighting and manipulation he put her through; except then she goes for “victim” blaming

aaaand Giovanni confirms the rumor Eleonora heard, the thing Silvia confronted Edoardo about, is true! In case anyone had any doubts after Edo’s convincing performance of pretending it isn’t a thing

Gio sees right through the lie, he knows Eva likes Federico, if not for the person he is then for the things he represents: Eva is in full on Silvia mindset

I think this is the episode where we meet S2 Gio: except for a few moments, caused by hurt and anger, he handles this whole mess in a mature, contained way that we see again and again in S2, like when he takes Marti aside to tell him off for using him as a cover with his mom without telling him, like when Marti comes back to school after the “hiatus” week or when he comes out; whereas up until now, I’ve seen a younger, dumber Gio, who lied and didn’t give much thought to people’s feeling (like when he teases Federica with Marti in ep.3) and who manipulated people to get his way (the gaslighting, the fight at the park with Eva in ep.6)

the bus being cancelled without warning or being so late it’s as if it’s canceled is such Italian culture

Edo is smart: he doesn’t even know Eleonora’s name, but he kept Eva’s face in mind and he’s found the perfect opportunity to exploit his, albeit limited, knowledge and to appear kinder with at least one of Ele’s friends, since he botched things with Silvia

on the other hand, hello again saviour complex straight out of a bodice ripper

this scene is so Twilight: the expensive, fast car, actually going to school by car at all, Eva being late and in “trouble”, Edo acting like a gentleman and stopping the car for her

Eva is a great friend! She hesitates! Despite having a super important test that could determine if she passes or fails a class! And then she pretends she doesn’t know he’s talking about Ele ad she refuses to give Edo her number!

“Then I save your life for real this morning” what did I say about a saviour complex? Also, way to fish for gratitude and compliments, asshole, let her study!

“I’ll find her on Instagram anyways” arrogance is not the same thing as confidence, Edoardo, and you’re an exemplary display of the first here

Bechdel test: this episode passes the Bechdel test, thanks to Eva’s conversation with her mom Paola and to Eva and Eleonora talking on the steps (except for a very brief mention of Edoardo that I decided to overlook).

This post is part of my complete series of meta about Skam Italia season 1.  If you’d like to read more of my thoughts about the other episodes, you can find the mastepost linked in the top bar on my blog under SKAMIT: EVA. Cheers!

[yoonminist]

college au where after a misunderstanding jimin ends up telling everybody on campus he’s dating infamous underground rapper agust d (who he’s never seen or heard before in his life), and when yoongi marches over to ask him about it he ends up Totally Enamored with jimin despite the fact that he’s telling him all these stories about his boyfriend ‘agust’

jimin doesn’t even know how it happens

he’s finishing up work one day in the computer lab and on his way out when he sees a hoodie left out on one of the desks

and he being the good samaritan he is, picks it up to find out who it belongs to

except, it smells really good and he’s in a rush, and it’s pretty cold outside 

so since it’s late he thinks he’d better take it for safekeeping, and he puts it on since he can’t carry it with his stuff

it’s too big on him but he likes it and he doesn’t think anything of going back to his room with it on

the next day, he meets his friends taehyung and jungkook for breakfast and since he’s still wearing it, taehyung asks about it

“jimin. where’d you get that hoodie from?”

“this?”

“holy shit,” jungkook breathes, “that’s the one agust d wears all the time”

jimin has no idea who agust d is but he did notice that the hoodie says ‘agust d’ so

“yeah it was an accident but i’m looking after it since he left it–”

“oh my god jimin are you dating agust d?”

“what? no–”

and because taehyung’s so loud, it’s only a matter of time before people overhear and start asking him about it

because agust d is pretty well-known around the area, especially because he’s super mysterious and lots of people want to know about him

so after like a full week of people asking him agust d’s real name, what perfume he uses, ‘can i touch the hoodie’ (which he hasn’t given back because he still doesn’t know who agust d is) he finally decided to embrace it so people will stop pestering him about it

(because surely if this agust d guy cared he’d have found jimin himself and told him to shut up and/or taken his hoodie,, right?)

“yes, okay? he’s my boyfriend, we’re dating.”

but it only gets WORSE after that because people want to find out how they met

so after stumbling through an explanation (he knows he’s in too deep but he’s certain by now that nobody knows him so he plays along) he finally has a story

and people like it so much he starts getting more popular because of it, because he’s dating THE agust d

so of course he gets more confident every time he tells his story, and he even adds in little details he recalls hearing about the rapper from his friends

and it’s maybe two weeks after it all started when he finds some guy waiting for him outside his dorm

he’s all cool and mysterious leaning against the wall waiting but jimin doesn’t pay much attention because he’s got his arms full of groceries

“i heard you’re dating agust d,” the guy says before jimin can even ask what he’s doing

and jimin immediately knows what he wants

“you must be one of his fans huh? i’m guessing you want to know how we met?”

(that’s not the reaction the guy was expecting, but) “…all right.”

so as jimin unlocks the door (with the help of this guy who offers to hold his stuff whilst he gets his keys out) he tells him his story.

“–so there i was in that club, dancing, just minding my own business when this guy comes over! puts his hands on my hips all smooth and we’re really getting into it when he whispers into my ear, ‘do you know who i am, baby?’ and i don’t, so i tell him. and he says ‘i’m agust d.’ then he says something about his tongue technology and that really put me off, so i push him away. i wasn’t there looking for such a low-class hookup, you know? so he gets all embarrassed and starts apologising and i’m just laughing at him because, it’s kinda cute. then– what was your name by the way?”

the guy is sitting on jimin’s sofa and he’s kind of stunned. it takes him a second

“min yoongi”

“oh,” he smiles. “i haven’t seen you around before”

“i don’t go here, actually”

“well, i’m jimin. anyway, i brush him off and he follows me, catches me on the way out. he tells me he’s really into me and i’m not sure how to react because we danced on each other for only a couple of minutes? but he insisted on a date. i said no – isn’t that kind of weird? he got all upset, but i still kind of found it cute. so i gave in. our first date was a lot better, we’ve been together ever since.”

“…right. okay. what did you say your boyfriend’s name is, again?”

“he still doesn’t want everyone to know. agust is fine.”

(yoongi is… impressed) “okay.” (and he can kind of see this club scenario happening–if he were drunk out of his mind, that is)

“is that all, yoongi? hyung?”

(yoongi’s also very intrigued by how jimin doesn’t seem to recognise his face or voice)

jimin tells yoongi he’s busy but he offhandedly offers to tell him more about agust some other time

and this whole situation is just so amusing to yoongi so he accepts and doesn’t remember to ask about his hoodie or to even correct him until he’s on the way back to his own place

so jimin comes back to his dorm a week later (when most of the hype has died down) to find yoongi waiting for him again

“listen hyung, i’m sorry but i can’t set up a meeting”

“that’s not it” yoongi doesn’t know why he’s there, honestly he kinda just wanted to see jimin again

so jimin offers to let him stay whilst he makes himself dinner and tells him about agust d

and he makes up all these dates on the spot

whilst yoongi sits and watches him with this amused little smile, soaking up every work until jimin tells him he can help with dinner

so they end up eating together

and it’s fun because after hearing all about himself, he asks about jimin and they end up talking together for another few hours

so dinner once a week becomes routine for them

they forget about agust d by the third meeting; instead yoongi tells him all about himself and his hobbies and interests (though he very briefly mentions music and wanting to be a famous composer and rapper)

 the fifth dinner in, yoongi takes him out to a restaurant because so far jimin’s basically been paying and that isn’t fair

for some reason though jimin looks really on edge

so yoongi asks: “jiminie? you okay?”

and jimin turns to him all distraught and wide eyed and tells him that he lied

and that he isn’t dating agust d and that everything he said is a fake and that he’d understand if yoongi doesn’t want to be his friend anymore–

but yoongi knew anyway and he’s in too deep but he can’t tell him that yet

so he instead asks why he did it

and jimin tells him about how it wasn’t his fault at first until he decided he liked the attention and went with it

“i still have the hoodie hyung, i don’t know how to get it back to him.”

yoongi tells him that it’s okay and that he’s sure agust will forgive him but–

“hyung. this is too much to ask i know, but. can you please please please pretend to be agust d and meet my friends because they really want to meet my boyfriend and i’ve been putting it off for so long that they won’t take no for an answer now and they haven’t met you yet either so please–”

yoongi’s really taken aback because jimin wtf are you like but he finds himself agreeing to it anyway

(he barely shows half of his face on stage so he gets why jimin would ask some random guy to pretend to be him. it’s funny)

(jimin almost cries out of gratitude)

so a few days later he’s at jimin’s place and jimin’s forcing him to wear The Hoodie because he isn’t sure what else agust d would do

 “just act like a rapper would, or something”

“jimin. tell me honestly, do you even know who agust d is”

“no hyung that’s the whole reason i’m even in this damn mess so please just–”

tae and kook show up not long after and they’re practically shaking with excitement

jungkook almost passes out when yoongi greets him

“holy fuck i’m staring at agust d, he’s standing right in front of me as we speak and he’s way cuter in person”

it takes them a while before they can talk properly but they ask all about him and his music and his lyrics and inspiration and jimin think it’s cute how much research yoongi must have done because he’s talking non-stop, one arm around jimin’s shoulders, the other hand absentmindedly tracing patterns over jimin’s knee

(yoongi’s usually like this but it’s different for jimin to think about it in a boyfriend context)

they ask how agust d met him too just in case jimin was lying

(so yoongi tells them his own version of jimin’s story)

“i… really wanted to talk to him, i can’t dance very well but he can, so that’s how i tried to approach him. i’d just performed too, i was drunk and all over the place, but jiminie was too cute not to approach and i ended up really embarrassing myself.” he laughs then, nudges jimin who’s all red just listening to yoongi talk about him like that, “he said yes the first time i asked him out, though. i don’t know why he tells it the way he does.”

“i knew it,” taehyung laughs

jimin hits yoongi’s arm

yoongi musses up his hair and plants a kiss on his forehead

they start asking more about yoongi as agust d then and jimin starts getting nervous because he doesn’t know that yoongi knows Everything

but according to him, they just about manage 

(though he almost loses his mind when they ask for autographs on their way out and yoongi very shyly signs some things for them–because forgery is a little too far, isn’t it?)

as soon as jimin shuts the door behind him, he collapses onto the sofa and yoongi laughs as he follows suit

jimin laughs about how they’re lucky his friends didn’t suspect a thing and they start laughing about everything that happened since they can, now that it’s all over an done with

and they’re both in this giggly little pile when jimin asks about yoongi’s story

“i don’t know, you made that agust guy sound pretty lame there jiminie, i just made it better for his sake.”

and jimin starts laughing because,, it’s true

yoongi shifts a little closer “so. after all of that, you don’t have a boyfriend.”

“i don’t. unfortunately.”

“so unfortunate. so i wouldn’t have any scary rappers on my back, if, say,” yoongi tentatively wraps an arm around jimin’s waist and tugs him closer when jimin fists his hands in his hoodie, “i did this?”

“no. you’re good.”

“and what about,” yoongi leans in, but it’s jimin who closes the distance before he can get the rest of his question out

epilogue:

yoongi’s taking jimin out on a surprise date like a week after they’re officially together

jimin think’s it’s a concert but he won’t stop asking so yoongi tells him

you’re going to meet agust d and return that damn hoodie since it’s apparently one of his favourites

and jimin starts freaking out because he’s certain agust d knows and will kill him when he sees him

“we have to go back, hyung”

“we can’t” “wh–” “i invited taehyung and jungkook to tonight’s show too, and they’re really excited”

“hyung did you forget you’re not actually agust d you can’t just go around pretending to– tae!! kookie!!”

and yoongi laughs at them all before kissing jimin’s cheek and excusing himself 

‘bathroom break’ he claims but taehyung and jungkook are wishing him the best of luck for his performance and jimin just Does Not Know What To Do

that is, until agust d starts performing a little later and–

oh 

fuck

[sept-dix]

young father! hwang minhyun

a/n: requested; i hope you don’t mind the fact that there’s no actual plot to this thing sdkfjd ;;

always wanted a son but gets a daughter instead

but wtf he falls in love the moment he lays his eyes on her and he forgets about ever wanting a son 

does a lot of research about everything one needs to know abt raising a baby so by the time she's born he's an expert 

so lets say you're married to him right 

you're lucky af bc he takes such good care of you when you're pregnant like he knows which foods are good for you and he knows which activities you shouldn't do

so thanks to that you have such a stress free pregnancy as compared to some of your friends bc you know minhyun got yo back 

anyways like i said he's also super knowledgeable when it comes to taking care of babies like he's read all these parenting books 

he always helps to make sure that the baby is safe and comfortable like when she's bathing or eating 

and he's so warm and his voice is so comforting that he has the power to calm her down and put her to sleep whenever 

just imagine it's like ass o'clock in the night and suddenly you hear your daughter crying screaming from her crib 

you just sigh because you haven't slept properly for two days and you're too tired to add another day to that list 

but minhyun’s just like "i got this" 

 all he has to do is hold the baby in his arms and sing her a soft lullaby in his honey voice and she's asleep in no time ejdjjsjs wtf picturing this makes me wna die 

and you're just watching them about to tear up bc wtf this is amazing 

he would never be like those parents who keep posting about their kids online and stuff he prefers to keep it to him and his cute little circle of fam & friends 

but he does invite the nu'est uncles to come over often 

and he gets so happy seeing people he loves love other people he loves

nu'est uncles would pamper her so much wtf 

she's the luckiest kid in the world 

both of you take turns dropping her off and picking her up from school and you know to expect your daughter coming home with fingers sticky with ice cream on the days minhyun goes to get her bc he always succumbs and buys her whatever she wants 

because the truth is that as much as he loves acting like he's in total control of everything the reality is that his daughter has him wrapped around her pinky 

the thing is that beyond all this knowledge and information that minhyun deliberately goes out and acquires, he just innately has super good parenting instincts 

like he just knows when to be harsh and when to give her what she wants and when to leave things to you bc he knows you know better sometimes 

on days when he's free he spends the whole day playing with your daughter with you 

such a family man 

sometimes you just look at them together and you get overwhelmed 

every time your daughter smiles so does minhyun and you swear one time you saw him trying to comfort her when she was crying and like he's going "it's going to be okay baby shhhh" and stroking her head but ,, there are tears in his eyes too 

why is he so soft??!1 

there are also times when your daughter asks him about things that are more related to girls 

 "daddy can u help me braid my hair"

or after a while "daddy can u help me go buy some pads" 

and he's like djdjhdhs go ask ur mom 

your daughter grows up to be super energetic and cheerful as she gets older 

she loves teasing minhyun like "dad why are you so old fashioned wtf" or "dad?? what do u mean the first time u dated was when u were 22 um??" rip 

and he's like "hey watch urself" but he's only half serious bc he takes all the teasing like a tru dad 

when her first boyfriend comes home to meet you guys he gets really intimidated because wtf if she grew up with this handsome young guy as her father then she must have some insane expectations of men lol

anyways its cute bc minhyun is super apprehensive about this dating stuff 

you're like it's okay just let her experiment!! this is the age for her to try out this stuff 

and he's just looking at his daughter and her boyfriend holding hands and he's like "i'm not so sure..." with this pained expression on his face

aw

but your daughter also knows that if someone was to ever hurt her she could count on her dad to know exactly the right things to say to make her feel better

in conclusion minhyun’s future child is the luckiest kid on earth

[justahalfling]

Vaishu finally watches... Baahubali 2: The Conclusion

Yes its liveblogging time again! Here goes...

HOLY SHIT THOSE 3D MODELS ARE AMAZING. 

I feel bad for that elephant (i know its CGI but like). bruh that elephant just wants out of the land of crazy humans

oh great Baahu never a moment of not looking good huh... he could do with some depth in his character, but its only the first few min of the movie so I’ll withhold judgment for now

wow Mommy’s boy™

ewwwww bijjaladeva is so gross in the head wtf killing your own wife dude go get therapy for chrissakes

lmao Kattapa fucking rekt yall!!! Someone call the ambulance woo eee woo eee woo eee (sound of an ambulance, if you couldnt tell)

i have to say... rana has a really nice butt ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I LOVE DEVASENA ALREADY

but seriously, need to get me a girl like that

oooh someones has a crush (its me. also baahu)

robust appearance.... lmao

yea GO GURL UPGRADE YO SKILLS

okay the wild boar scene is funny and all but like... why cant the lady win for once why does the guy always have to one up her

i love how much of a loser kumara varma is, he is highly #relatable

boi did you literally get hit by a bull to keep your identity secret so that you can tease her properly. literally what.... straight people are so weird

how is devasena a literal goddess in every scene. how. ((pls be my wife))

i really like this song and i vibe HEAVILY with the aesthetic here. i love the clothes give the costume department an award already

look at bhalla’s content at the whole scheme why do you have to be like this dude. #beadecentdude2k17

look here Sivagami i love you and i would literally die for you but promising a girl’s hand in marriage without her consent is not cool bruh. dont be an accomplice in the crimes of patriarchy and sell out your fellow women like this.

LITERALLY HOW CAN DEVASENA BE SO AMAZING. YOU TELL IT LIKE IT IS, GIRL . CRUSH THE PATRIARCHY. MAKE YOUR OWN CHOICES AND EMPOWER YOURSELF

she is literally the “I will not hesitate, bitch.” kinda gal

wow sudden hero kumara varma good for you mah dude

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD THATS THE MOVIE POSTER POSE RIGHT THERE. MY WARRIOR BABIES THEY ARE SO GOOD TOGETHER

wow them cows though... (better watch out for the BJP lmao dont kill me for that joke)

my boi... he was wearing armor underneath... how XTRA ™ can you get

I love devasena so much my homegirl. MY BAE. even if she likes the guy she is not going to submit to the patriarchy. you go girl

that is a lovely... boat... the VISUALS IN THIS MOVIE ARE SO GORGEOUS MY EYES ARE SO BLESSED RN

wow they have such great chemistry. its better than avanthika and baahu jr’s chemistry 

i love how she kisses first. yes girl make the first move!!! go get yo man! 

wow that flag breaking is very... omimouse (not a typo thats just the word ominous in vaishu language)

but seriously is that supposed to mean something? im too dense to get it. is it that she has to break off her loyalty to kuntala now

Devasena is just like “you see this right here bitches? this is a no bullshit zone. no bullshit allowed yo”

“agangaram as alangaram” amazing line 10/10

but like that isnt even temerity. its literally standing up for her rights though

OOOOHHHHH SHITTTTT

dont people write the names of the potential groom? why are you people like this

oh wow the coronation scene is amazing. all the military stuff is cool. and the symbolism of the cheers making stuff come crashing down. good job rajamouli you played this well

what do you mean you’re just a slave. bro if you had to act as wingman you best believe youre family now. stop with that hierarchy bullshit its so uncomfortable for me to see

MOM NO *cries forever*

I LOVE THE KUMARA VARMA AND BAAHU BROMANCE SO MUCH. GIVE. ME. MOAR.

wow when bhalla was like “a pregnant woman doesnt want riches or possessions... she only wants her husband’s embrace” my gutter brain almost thought he was going to give them a bed or some fertility thing like a creep. but that thing he said already made my creep radar go crazy

you’re literally the worst my dude the worst

deva is such a firecracker holy shit i LOVE HER 

ewww that is so gross. dude i will break your hand. i will break it and set it on fire. i am not joking. 

well you did my job deva so anyways.... ufos more like identified flying fingers amirite... heh heh

but didnt ancient india invent plastic surgery anyways i dont see whats the huge deal here

i cant believe im saying this but devasena would make a much better ruler than sivagami. in fact i personally think she would even be better than baahu. girl’s got her priorities right 

its interesting how baahu has a moon pottu and bhalla has a sun pottu. one would think the positions would have been reversed. maybe they wanted to show that baahu was more nurturing and stuff. but like. its sunlight that grows plants? anyways.

NOICE. COOL COOL COOL COOL COOL NO DOUBT NO DOUBT NO DOUBT NO DOUBT. 

THERE GOES THE HEAD.

wow no you got it all wrong. “scorned the laws”? dont you know the highest form of patriotism and responsible citizenry is criticism!! what the literal fuck, why are you like this. i loved you so much why would you do this

wow baahu busting out some engineering skills right there. why is this the first time im seeing this. most of the times hes like a big fuck you to physics. but like engineering ex machina i suppose

man hes so tall he has to bend down so the lady can pat his head LMAO idk this is adorable. this reminds me of the time i was scrolling though the baahubali tag and someone called the beefcake that is prabhas a “smol bean”. wtf tumblr

omg bhalla let a guy live. so not cool mah dude

baahu has such a magnificent mane. he has better hair than me what the hell

bhalla is so fucking rude... how can you choke your actual dad... granted he’s the reason why youre like this

wow and treating a disable person like that... why are you literally so vile

why is he suddenly turning on his son... THIS IS HIGHLY SUSPECT

OH MY GOD I KNEW IT. SEE. I WOULDNT HAVE FALLEN FOR THAT. DUDE WHYYYYY

oh my god this is such a tire fire what the heck

man i would have said yes and just run far far away if i was kattapa

its so sad to watch this when you know its all going to end horribly

oh my god “as long as you’re by my side no man has been born yet to kill me” well this line killed me so

cant you follow your moral code instead! is your allegiance to the throne so important! an innocent man cant go through punishment like this its wrong

oh my god this is so sad

also uhm i just realised that baahu has wonder woman bracelets

that was the most dramatic death scene ive ever watched. it gave me the chills.

WOAH bhalla is SO messed up in the head good god

look this is all well and good but you should really wash and disinfect your hands before touching babies... as i always like to say, common sense is not so common

aw baby promise that is so cute

omg he called him grandpa that is so adorable

omg devasena i love you so much 

okay but dont forget your adopted parents too

they dont have weapons! they cant succeed by their will alone! what i would do is create like an elite task force and infiltrate the place. boi you need some strategy. a map of the citadel at least

holy shit devasena is not to be messed with my lady literally carrying a dude’s head

that is so fucked up man the people behind this movie went so hard. they didnt have to but they went so hard

wow that was smurt

okay where is avanthika though dont tell me she stayed home

DEVA NO. WIELD YOUR SWORD BABY COME ON YOU’RE STILL STRONG

that is so.... creative...

HE JUST DID THE WONDER WOMAN SHIELD BOOSTED JUMP

omg i love the grandpa and grandson duo SO CUTE when he calls him “thatha” man grandparents are wonderful my thatha is so excited for me to get a job and i havent even entered uni yet (okay side tracking here)

AVANTHIKA YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

is his own classic tyrant statue gonna kill him cause i think it will. im calling it now everyone. poetic justice okay

aw her future daughter in law protecting her 

oh yea the statue didnt kill him sadly

shes stepping on his face omg the symbolism

ripping out his heart omg how grosser can you get

omg is that... a blood abhishekam.... i have no words..

YAASS GAUNTLETS (but seriously... wonder woman)

Avanthika looks gorgeous and aw its his Ma 

thats... baahu thats water pollution you cant do that

wow poetic justice huh

that was... amazing wow

[ifitzpatrick]

Since the new Twin Peaks is out tonight, I thought it would be a cool idea to introduce you guys to some David Lynch films that you may or may not have watched. If you don’t know who David Lynch is, he is basically the embodiment of, what multiple sites have called him, “a renaissance man of modern filmmaking” and does just about everything you can think of a person doing. He is a director, screenwriter, painter, photographer, musician, and producer. He has created a TON of cult classics that have not only blown peoples’ minds, but changed their perspectives on a lot of things, especially living in small town or Los Angeles, but at the end of the day, David Lynch is a surreal and complicated filmmaker at heart.

Now, I’m not saying you should watch these films in order, but I’ll lay out the important ones first and then get into stuff that you can see any ol’ time. So, let’s get started.

1. Eraserhead (1977) This masterpiece was David Lynch’s first feature length movie that combines surrealism and body horror all mashed into one. The plot is pretty damn simply… complicated. Henry Spencer (Jack Nance) is a man who is left with a lizard or serpent like child, born from a one night stand with his then girlfriend Mary X. Henry, however, starts to also have hallucinations and vision of strange things that may or may not be real. The film is known to be a great cult classic and is one of the coolest midnight movies with El Topo (1970), Night of the Living Dead (1968) and Pink Flamingos (1972) to name a few. If you’re gonna start with some David Lynch weirdness, why not try out the best of the best first.

2. The Elephant Man (1980) The Elephant Man is one of the most heartbreaking films on this list. The Elephant Man tells the real life story of Joseph Merrick, a severely deformed man who was exhibited in freak shows before he was taken to a London Hospital. The film takes us into that history with John Hurt, playing John Merrick and Anthony Hopkins, playing the doctor Frederick Treves, who takes him from out of the freakshows. It’s a heartbreaking movie and incredibly acted from start to finish. Fun fact: the Academy created the Best Makeup and Hairstyling because this movie had the best of that year.

3. Twin Peaks (1990) You knew this was coming. Twin Peaks has become a cult classic over the years and for good reasons. It’s one of the most bizarre and brilliant television dramas that have ever been produced. Created by David Lynch and Mark Frost, the show focuses on the death of high school teen and homecoming queen Laura Palmer (Sheryl Lee). FBI Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) is sent to Twin Peaks to investigate and teams up with Harry S. Truman (Michael Ontkean) to investigate the case, but it’s not a straight up murder that they’re investigating. It can’t be that simple guys. There’s something deeper, shady, and sinister going down in the town of Twin Peaks and you’ll never see it coming.

4. Blue Velvet (1986) I actually still don’t know how to properly describe Blue Velvet to people, but I will try very hard for you guys. Jeffrey Beaumont (Kyle MacLachlan) is just a normal guy, but one day he finds a ear in a backyard. (I know, I know, just hold on for me guys.) He goes on a small investigation to find out where it comes from, but takes a very sharp left turn into bigger investigation a nightclub singer Dorothy Vallens (Isabella Rossellini) whose being held hostage by some f*cked up group of people, including ether-loving Frank Booth (Dennis Hopper), who tortures her in brutal ways. Jeffrey discovers that there is way more to the surface of the small town and himself as he becomes intertwined with Dorothy’s life. Guys, just watch Blue Velvet. It’s a really great psychology, wtf of a movie. 5. Twin Peak: Fire Walk with Me (1992) I know what you’re thinking Twin Peaks fans. “Why would you even put this anywhere near a list?” Well… because it’s Twin Peaks. No matter how you feel about Fire Walk with Me, it’s still a piece of the Twin Peaks history and dammit, it should be watched at least once! Directed and written by David Lynch and co-written by Robert Engels, the films tells the last seven days of Laura Palmer’s short life while going into the investigation of Teresa Banks. Most of the cast had returned for the movie except for Lara Flynn Boyle, who was replaced by Moira Kelly and Sherilyn Fenn because schedules suck. The film was met with… not so happy people and even though it was met with negative reviews, again, still apart of Twin Peaks. Also, you gotta watch this before you get into the series!

6. Mulholland Drive (2001) Another movie that I can’t properly describe, but goddamnit, I will try! Betty Elms (Naomi Watts) is an actress that wants to make it big in L.A. Fresh into her environment, she meets a amnesiac woman Rita (Laura Elena Harring) and try try to figure out what happened to her and get back her memories. I can’t say much else without giving away most of the plot so I’ll just leave it there. I can tell you that there is a super cool (kinda?!) twist at the end of this psychological mystery film. The fun part about this movie is that it very much lets you come to your own conclusions of what the ending might mean. Nothing is right, nothing is wrong. Mulholland Drive will always be there. Fun fact: Mulholland Drive was inspired by Audrey Horne’s character in Twin Peaks. They meant to send Audrey into a spinoff where she goes to Hollywood, but it didn’t pan out.

7. Inland Empire (2006) Love is apparently a super f*cking dangerous when you’re on the set of a film that is cursed. That’s what Inland Empire presents us and it’s a really well done film by Lynch. Inland Empire follows the story of Nikki Grace, an actress whose perception of reality gets surreal and distorted as she falls head over heels for her co-star Devon Berk (Justin Theroux). She also starts taking on the characteristics of the character that she’s playing in a film that is cursed. Yeah, f*ckin’ bonkers. Laura Dern is outstanding in the lead role, she does a great job in Blue Velvet and Wild at Heart, but this movie, Laura just goes all out!

8. Dune (1984) Dune is a great accomplishment, but I will warn you that when you go into Dune, be prepared to sit for awhile. Based on Frank Herbert’s 1965 novel with the same name, Dune is set in the future where there is a war brewing between families for control of Dune, or Arrakis. They mainly want it because the time travelling drug, “the spice” is vast on the planet and it’s the only place it can be found. I’ve watched this movie a couple of times and I’m still very unsure about it’s meaning, even though I totally should know what it’s about right now. In the scope of things, this was one of David Lynch’s most *raspberry noise* of movies. It was regarded as a flop, but I kinda disagree, for what it was at the time, Dune is an epic movie on a global scale and Kyle MacLachlan sports some pretty hair. OH, ALSO, THERE’S STING, so, yeah…. Watch it.

Honorable Mentions: Lost Highway (1997), The Alphabet (1968), Wild at Heart (1990), The Amputee (1974) and Six Men Getting Sick (1967)