#gum disease and heart disease

[happyteethcare]

The Connection Between Oral Health and Overall Health: Why Your Mouth is the Gateway to Your Body

When we think about health, we often focus on heart, brain, or muscle wellness. But did you know that your oral health plays a crucial role in your overall well-being? Your mouth isn’t just for eating and smiling; it’s a gateway to your entire body. Ignoring oral hygiene can have far-reaching effects on your general health. In this post, we explore the fascinating link between oral health and…

[ballroomnotoriety]

(pssst... you can buy glasses for like $15 online if you have your prescription.)

Made the mistake of bringing up that needing glasses is a disability on tiktok and people got real mad.

“You can fix it with glasses” yeah, cuz they’re a disability aid? But like, I still have to pay 160 bucks to use my own fucking eyes?

Like, by definition, if your eyes do not work without aid, you have a disability to see.

Having a disability doesn’t automatically put you in what people consider the “disabled” category, but that doesn’t change the fact that it is in fact, a disability.

[kurtcore]

all my stress from this final stretch of uni is turning into fucking health anxiety and its making me even more stressed every day. every time i have minor pain or discomfort i convince myself its cancer or some terminal disease or something like i’m gonna keel over and die in the next few minutes. and then because i get so fucking anxious i start feeling sick and becoming super aware of how everything in my body feels which obviously makes the health anxiety worse bc im like oh obviously im dying bc i now feel sick and my head hurts. its so exhausting im just stressed 24/7 over made up shit !!!!!!!!!!! like my brain can convince me that everything hurts and everything feels bad. like i know its irrational but i can’t stop.

[capturelifedental]

Exploring the Intriguing Connection: Cardiac and Oral Health

Ever wonder if there’s a connection between your mouth and your heart? As bizarre as it may sound, scientists have uncovered yet another incredible finding. It has come to light that maintaining good dental and gum health is just as important for heart health as leading a healthy lifestyle. Or, to put it another way, it’s like hearing that brushing your teeth helps prevent heart disease in addition to just keeping your teeth healthy.

Having said that, let’s explore this unusual relationship between cardiac and oral health and see why maintaining your gums and teeth may even benefit your heart! 

Before we head into this blog, you can explore the amazing offers that Capture Life Dental Care Clinic is running on their dental services! 

Understanding the Connection:

The mouth serves as a gateway to the body, and the state of your gums and teeth can have a variety of effects on your general well-being. Research has indicated a strong association between periodontal disease (periodontitis) and a higher risk of cardiovascular illness. Although the precise mechanism underlying this association is still being investigated, the following possibilities have been put forth:

Inflammation: The gums’ inflammatory reaction to the plaque bacteria is what causes gum disease. When there is persistent inflammation in the mouth, it may set off systemic inflammation of the circulatory system. Following that, there is damage to the blood arteries and an elevated risk of heart disease.

Plaque and Bacteria: The bacteria that cause gingivitis can enter the bloodstream and travel throughout the body, including the heart. The bacteria that live there have the potential to inflame blood vessels. One of the primary causes of atherosclerosis, or the hardening of the arteries, is this.

Shared Risk Factors: Smoking, diabetes, obesity, and other conditions are among the many risk factors that are shared by cardiovascular disease and oral disease, often known as gum disease. The relationship between heart disease and dental health issues might be further confounded by the fact that people with dental health issues may also be more likely to have other heart disease risk factors.

Maintaining Oral Health for Heart Health:

Having proper dental hygiene becomes essential for living a healthy, fulfilling life, given the strong correlation between dental health and cardiovascular health. Here are some pointers for maintaining the well-being of your heart and mouth.

Brush and Floss Often: Daily flossing and brushing for at least two minutes in the morning and before bed are the cornerstones of healthy dental hygiene. Plaque and bacteria are removed from tooth surfaces by brushing, whereas areas between teeth and along the gum line that are inaccessible to a toothbrush are cleaned by flossing.

See Your Dentist Frequently: Scheduling routine dental examinations and hygienic cleanings is the greatest approach to prevent gum disease. Early gum disease diagnosis by the dentist

Eat a Healthy Diet: Maintaining good oral hygiene and overall health are facilitated by an optimal diet that emphasizes the consumption of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins. A child’s risk of cavities and gum disease can be decreased by consuming sweets and carbs in moderation.

Avoid Tobacco: Two of the biggest risk factors for gum and heart disease are smoking and chewing tobacco. Both cardiovascular and dental health can benefit from quitting smoking. There are other advantages to this as well.

Manage Stress: Chronic stress reduces the immunological function and causes inflammation all over the body, especially in the gums. Adopting healthy coping mechanisms for stress like exercise, meditation, or spending time with your friends or family can guarantee you a heart that beats without problems and a healthy smile.

Be Proactive: If you see any signs of gum disease, including red, swollen or gums bleeding, or if you notice both bad breath and teething for some time, don’t take them lightly. Visit the dentist as soon as you can for examination and treatment.

Conclusion

As we wrap up our exploration of the unexpected link between oral health and heart health, one thing becomes clear: there’s a deeper meaning to a healthy smile than just its outward appearance. We could open doors to new possibilities for our wellbeing by realizing and accepting this interconnection. From flossing daily to scheduling that annual dental check, all are minor steps but they can be major toward the healthier heart. Thus, it leads us to the rule: brush, floss, and smile more because these may save the heart from troubles.

Have you scheduled your dental appointment yet? If not, visit Capture Life Dental Care Clinic for your regular dental checkup! 

[scientia-rex]

I made that post about how smoking is bad—actually, no, I’ve made two relatively popular posts about how smoking is bad for you. Raises your chances of dying from multiple factors including heart disease and stroke in addition to lung (and mouth, throat, and bladder) cancer.

I am always so baffled by the responses going “well I could die from something else!” Yes. You could. Statistically speaking, you will most likely die of heart disease, stroke, or cancer, if you live in the US. Your average life expectancy is somewhere around 78 for women, 76 for men. Many people die younger than that, for a lot of reasons. Many of my patients have illnesses that will shorten their lives. I hate to split it into “fault,” as if there’s some kind of perfect way to live a blameless life. (There isn’t.) The numbers, however, are both clear and pitiless. People who smoke are more likely to die younger than they otherwise might have.

Medicine is a numbers game. My job is not to psychically predict exactly what will punch your ticket and when. It is to improve your odds. I want you to both live as long a life as possible but also as high-quality a life as possible. I want for you to live a life you enjoy.

It’s that simple; it’s not sinister. I’m not out here going “I’ll tell them not to smoke so they can have LESS FUN before getting hit by a bus at 30!”

Because smoking isn’t actually fun. What it is, is a very quick (and faster = more addictive) reduction in physical feedback systems that heighten anxiety. Withdrawal of an unpleasant stimulus is rewarding. (Technically, it’s a negative reward; the negative doesn’t refer to a moral judgment, but the addition or subtraction of a stimulus.) Something that is very rewarding very fast will be very addictive. It’s why crack cocaine is also so addictive—it is also a very fast and very potent reward. It’s also why benzodiazepines like Xanax are so addictive to so many people; it’s a slower peak blood level but the removal of severe anxiety is profoundly rewarding.

So smoking can make you feel better when you do it. But your body will try to fix any broken signals. It doesn’t just want to be able to signal to you when you need to feel stressed: it has to be able to signal you, or your long-ago ancestors would have been eaten by predators. So it ramps up the signaling. Now you’re not smoking because you feel better than baseline; you’re smoking to get back to baseline.

That’s why quitting sucks. When you quit smoking, all of the sudden your body’s signals of stress that got dialed up to 11 to overcome the nicotine are just out there at full blast, making you feel scared and jittery and irritable. It’s why when you quit benzos (or daily alcohol) cold turkey you can get life-threatening seizures. It’s why when you stop alcohol you’re likely to have sleep disruptions that can persist for weeks to months.

That’s why things that help reduce the suckage can help. Nicotine patches, lozenges, or gum. Chantix. Wellbutrin. Slowly stepping down the nicotine level on your vape. Eating more, eating things you like. (I would 1000% rather have a patient be fat than be smoking. I know other people will be shittier to you if you gain weight. Living is worth it.) Being kind to yourself helps you quit smoking. You need to recognize that “quitting smoking you” is not your baseline you. It is you with an invisible illness that will take weeks to months to get over.

And sometimes you can’t face that hump right now. But if you want to maximize your odds of the longest and healthiest possible life, knowing that any number of terrible things can happen to you at any time, making the effort—over and over again, if you need to—is the best shot you have.

There are a couple of conditions where smoking does markedly reduce symptoms. The well-known ones are schizophrenia and Crohn’s disease. If you feel not just better, but better like this is a medication for you, like you poop blood or hear things without it, talk to your primary care provider, because there are other medicines that might be safer and/or more effective for you. The landscape around pharmaceutical research has shifted dramatically over the last 30 years. We have more options than we’ve ever had before. Maybe this doesn’t have to be the expensive, dangerous medication that half-works for you. And if what you’re self-medicating is your anxiety, nicotine is a pretty crappy medication for that, because it doesn’t fix you; it changes your baseline to an even shittier place.

You have bodily autonomy. You can make your own choices. I will never go to a patient’s house and slap the cigarette out of their hand. But if what you want is the longest and healthiest possible life, smoking makes your odds worse.

The number of people who think that I, as a doctor, would be unaware of how profoundly unfair bodily health can be amazes me. It’s like the first Father Brown story, where Father Brown is explaining to the villain that someone whose main job is to hear about all of the terrible sins people have to confess cannot remain naive. My job is watching people age, or filling out their death certificates. One or the other. I prefer watching them age, but everyone will die. Someday my doctor will be filling out my death certificate. I’ve removed one potential contributing factor from that line—maybe I’ll get diabetes, maybe I’ll get cancer, maybe I’ll have a workplace accident, but “smoking” isn’t going to be on that line anymore. That’s the best I can do. I can’t psychically predict my own death, either; just play the numbers, try to do my best, and hope.

[cosmicintro]

Astro observations: Health aspects from the 6th house 💫

6th house in Aries: Be mindful of strong reactions, impulses and emotions as these could trigger high blood pressure, stress or unwanted headaches. Possible problems associated with the adrenal glands if health is not good. The person could be nearsighted/farsighted. Teeth issues and sensitive gums are common with this placement. 

6th house in Taurus: Be careful with ‘burnout’ and try to keep a healthy work-life balance. The individual is prone to respiratory conditions, jaw and neck pain/problems, weight gain (associated with thyroid issues). Thyroid disease. Problems with your voice or throat. Take it easy and follow a rhythm that honors your needs. 

6th house in Gemini: Allergies, infections, asthma, cough, breathing issues. Arms, hands and fingers might be sensitive. Anxiety and nervousness caused by too many unorganized/unwanted thoughts. Be careful with hand, arm and/or shoulder injuries. 

6th house in Cancer: Sensitive breasts/chest area. Inflammation associated with water/fluid retention. Pay close attention to your salt and fat consumption. Intolerance to different ingredients. It is vital for individuals with this placement to express their emotions as this can feel like a detox process for a 6th house cancer.

6th house in Leo: Hear what your heart is telling you. Don’t let stress or anger take you 'over the edge'. Similar to Aries in this house, it is common for the native to suffer from high blood pressure if a balanced lifestyle is not followed; a healthy diet will help this native tremendously. Be careful with hernias and your spine. Back pain/injuries. Spend more time outside. 

6th house in Virgo: Food sensitivities. Problems with digestion. Pay attention to sugar, fats, starches and the way your body reacts to them. Pancreatitis. Bloating associated with food intolerances. Meditation is recommended to calm an active mind and a healthy relationship with food will help with digestive issues. 

6th house in Libra: Lumbar pain. Problems with the lower back. Sensitivity to salt. Kidney stones. Insulin resistance. Diabetes. Partnerships have a big influence in your life; stress or strong (negative) emotions resulting from these relationships can have a big impact in your health. 

6th house in Scorpio: Constipation. Bladder/Urinary tract infections. Issues with libido/sex hormones. Cystitis (inflammation of the bladder; can cause pain or/and a burning sensation when peeing). Problems with the colon and elimination systems. Let go of any guilt/shame around your sexuality and keep a healthy relationship with your needs. 

6th house in Sagittarius: Issues associated with the pituitary gland. Hip mobility problems, pain or injuries. Obesity. For optimal liver health, alcohol and stress levels need to be monitored and, if possible, reduced to a minimum. Yoga can help ease stiffness around the hips and thighs. 

6th house in Capricorn: Knee pain. Injuries/procedures can cause significant scarring. Hair loss or scalp issues. Arthritis and joint pain. If your body is telling you to slow down, honor it and rest. Movement in every way is beneficial for the native. Be careful with your bones. 

6th house in Aquarius: Varicose veins. Frequent cramps. Arteries and veins might need to be monitored closely, as the native is prone to circulation problems. Calf pain. Stress, nervousness, anxiety, insomnia. Be careful with addictions. Stay hydrated. 

6th house in Pisces: Problems with the lymphatic system. Feet pain, inflammation, discomfort, injuries. Plantar fasciitis. Be careful with falls. Sleep problems, nightmares. Sadness that can lead into deep depression. Time alone is necessary. Make sure you’re getting the hours of sleep that your body requires to work harmoniously. 

Stay tuned for more! :)

[joannasprose]

just don’t leave me alone, wondering where you are

CW: harassment, violence, a little bit of angst.

I’m sorry for not posting for like. five billion years :/ here’s some vi x reader angst/fluff because I’ve been thinking about her :p

———

You dragged your feet against the hot asphalt as though you were being held down by a large anchor.

The street of the underside had become crowded during this time, the bustling streets and the cities merchants hoping to get a grab of whatever you had in the pockets of your pants.

It had been seven years since then. Since Vander. Since Mylo and Claggor and Powder. Vi’s name had always brought bitterness on your tongue. Since the day she disappeared, you had never once spoken it out-loud. It plagued your mind like a festering and undying disease.

As you stride through the already crowded streets—your eyes find The Last Drop. Memories filled your mind like a flood. You remember days spent in the bar, speaking with Vandar and indulging in Powder’s unfinished.

Most importantly, you remember Vi. Nights where the two of you sat on the roof and she listened to you talk about your day. The same old story with the same old ending.

Pushing those memories far from your head, you turn the street corner nearest to the well-known brothel, a familiar face comes into view, making you unknowingly heave out an annoyed breath.

“How’re you doing, sweetheart?” His voice calls, one that fills your head with an irritation warranted light just for him. One of Silco’s guards, his arm resting against the brick of the alleyway, a smile displaying his teeth and gums.

“Sam,” you say, crossing your arms over your chest, putting your disinterest on display.

“Aw come on. Why the long face? You missed me that much?” His confidence is what stirs a smile on your lips. You can’t remember when he had first began to take an interest in you. Unfortunately, you wished you have have handled the days of being unknown with much more care.

Sam lifts himself from the wall, stepping closely towards you, and attempting to slightly graze the hair that hangs wildly out of place on your head. But before he has the chance though, you grab his wrist with as much force as you could muster up.

“Don’t touch me.” You say, venom laced in your words as his face once portraying a deep lust, now twisted into an agitated and offended expression.

He pulls himself out of your hands, his arms dangling at his side for only but a moment before he reels his right arm back, the palm of his hand meeting the skin of your cheek.

It stings. A harsh pain that you’ve felt a few times before. “I’ve been nothing but kind to you for months, and you’ve yet to give me what I want.” This time, you really do laugh. Is harassment really his judgement of kindness?

His brows furrow, anger tucked underneath. As he steps closer to grab your face, a figure pulls him back, throwing him off balance.

You can’t see their face. They don’t speak to you. Only harsh grunt from themself, and Sam, and the streets of the under-city are what clouds your senses.

Their fists meet his face unrelentingly. You hear him beg, pleading for the stranger to stop. You can’t see it, but you can hear it. Fist meeting bone with anger laced in the strangers knuckles.

You don’t say anything. No words escape the space between your lips as the stranger lets him go, and as he crawls away, limping frantically.

“Don’t come near her again.” That voice. So endearing yet harsh. Familiar yet distant.

As she turns to you, those light blue eyes creating heart ache and helplessness in you—you muster up the courage to speak.

“Vi?”

———

definitely planning on making this a little series! yes I know this is so obviously rushed but I really wanted to get something out because I’ve been gone for so long! but I promise the next part will most definitely be longer and well written <3

reread this and im cringing so hard omg

[ask-a-vetblr]

My 9 yo dog recently got 3 teeth extracted. I was hoping to control her tartar and plaque by brushing, and I feel like I waited too long and that this could have been avoided. Are there any risks associated with having general anesthesia regularly for dental cleanings? I was under the assumption that it is better to try to control tartar and plaque by brushing daily and that frequent dental cleanings should be avoided unless signs of periodontal disease start to emerge. I understand there are stipulations to this based on whether the dog has heart disease, but what would be the "general" recommendation?

gettingvetted here.

The recommendation from board certified veterinary dentists is that all animals need a dental cleaning with radiographs under anesthesia once a year, and that the teeth need to be brushed daily. If the owner cannot or will not commit to brushing, there is "no point" in doing cleanings at all, similar to if you got your teeth cleaned twice a year and then didn't brush your teeth between cleanings.

However, on a more realistic, general practice point of view, it very much depends on the animal. Daily brushing is definitely the gold standard. Not one of my clients brushes their pets' teeth daily. I will often recommend picking 2-3 products for daily use off of the VOHC product list if the owner won't brush. They usually won't get things from the VOHC list either. Because why would you listen to the professional that you're paying for an opinion. But that is what I recommend. Some animals, like small or brachycephalic dogs, or cats with resorptive tooth lesions or stomatitis, may need cleanings every 6 months and may lose many or all of their teeth even with aggressive care. The average dog or cat would probably need a cleaning a handful of times (3-4x) in their life but due to a lack of at-home care and more frequent cleanings, they will probably need to have a handful of teeth extracted at each cleaning or at least accumulate heavy tarter. Sometimes large dogs can get away with one or two cleanings in their lifetime but they will probably get some fairly heavy tarter between cleanings. This also doesn't account for dentals required for specific pathology, like broken teeth or jaws, checking the mouth, throat, nose, or sinuses for cancer, etc.

General anesthesia is not harmful for an otherwise healthy pet, and the effects of anesthesia are not cumulative. Also, part of the point of a dental cleaning with anesthesia is to perform radiographs which allows the vet to diagnose pathology below the gumline where it is invisible to the owner, as well as performing an ultrasonic scaling under the gums where regular tooth brushes cannot reach. Hence the gold standard recommendation of yearly dentals.

Hope this helps!

[nenelonomh]

oral hygiene practices

maintaining healthy teeth and gums is crucial for many reasons:

prevents tooth decay and gum disease. regular brushing and flossing remove plaque, a sticky film of bacteria that can lead to cavities and gum disease if not properly managed.

maintains fresh breath. poor oral hygiene can cause bad breath (halitosis). brushing your teeth, and tongue, and using mouthwash can help keep your breath fresh.

reduces the risk of systemic diseases. there is a strong link between oral health and overall health. poor oral hygiene can contribute to conditions such as heart disease, diabetes, and respiratory infections.

saves money. preventive care is often less expensive than treating dental problems. regular check-ups and cleanings can help catch issues early before they become more serious and costly.

so, let's look at some key practices to help maintain your smile.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ brush your teeth twice a day. use fluoride toothpaste and a soft-bristled toothbrush. brush for at least two minutes, making sure to clean all surfaces of your teeth.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ floss daily. flossing helps remove plaque and food particles between your teeth and under the gumline where your toothbrush can’t reach.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ use mouthwash. an antimicrobial or fluoride mouthwash can help reduce plaque, prevent cavities, and freshen your breath.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ maintain a healthy diet. limit sugary foods and drinks, as they can contribute to tooth decay. eating a balanced diet with plenty of fruits and vegetables can support overall oral health.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ stay hydrated. drinking plenty of water, especially fluoridated tap water, helps wash away food particles and bacteria.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ avoid tobacco products. smoking and chewing tobacco can lead to gum disease, tooth decay, and oral cancer.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ replace your toothbrush regularly. change it over every three to four months, or sooner if the bristles are frayed.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ visit your dentist regularly. regular dental check-ups and professional cleanings are essential for maintaining oral health and catching any issues early.

i know that i am only reinforcing what your dentist is already telling you - but my purpose is to provide easy information and further reading resources that may teach you something new. by incorporating these practices into your daily routine, you can keep your teeth and gums healthy.

unfortunately, i know many people who ignore simple health facts (for a multitude of reasons). but this is not the way! looking after your health and your body is so important!

for further reading:

Oral Hygiene: Best Practices & Instructions for Good Routine | Cleveland Clinic

WOHD23-factsheet-oralhygiene-EN.pdf | FDI World Dental Foundation

Oral Hygiene | National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research

the original oral hygiene post (by me)

❤️ nene

[happyteethcare]

Fun Facts in Dental Care: Surprising Insights for a Healthier Smile

Maintaining good dental health is an essential part of overall well-being. While brushing, flossing, and visiting the dentist regularly are well-known practices, there are some lesser-known facts about dental care that can make the topic even more intriguing. In this blog post, we’ll explore fun and surprising facts about dental care that not only enhance your knowledge but can also motivate you…

[gremlins-hotel]

Post headcanons abt Arthur and his first baby you coward, you fool. The audience arrived, we are here, yet you stay silent upon the stage.

(Just joking ofc, tho id give you a kidney if you gave us some hcs abt their early days <3)

I know it's not a headcanon, but I hope this will still be satisfactory. A moment between a new father and his first son, to whom Arthur wishes the world.

“You coddle him,” came Rhys’ voice, blunt and teasing.

Arthur waved his brother’s words away. They were meaningless like wayward flecks of spume against the broad side of a ship in the face of the treasure held tight to his chest. Sleepless nights, tears, and the terror of the unknowing life. He had watched his son like a hawk for years, and the boy now grew blessedly stronger. Each time little Alfred grabbed his finger, the babe’s grip was vicelike, and Arthur knew the little chubby squish of pain was worth all his toils.

Alfred burbled up at Arthur, seeing his father’s watchful eyes glimmer, a mostly toothless smile scrunching his small face with joy.

Heart squeezing and eyes wide, Arthur knew he would endure it all again as long as that babe was laughing. Hugging the heavy bundle tighter to his chest, Arthur bounced the boy gently as he fiddled with a pocket of his coat. Life was difficult when one-handed, but he hated putting Alfred down. The troubles a baby could get into with any degree of autonomy he did not wish to imagine, not after famine and disease and blood. Alfred seemed determined to bind the world with his gums if his father allowed him, in any case, and to grab it without hesitation. There were dangers on the floor that the boy approached fearlessly. That determination. It was a good thing to have, Arthur knew, but woeful for life still so seemingly fragile.

A faint jingle answering his seeking fingers told the man he’d found his quarry. Arthur whisked the trinket from his pocket in a closed fist, the toy’s chain hanging from between two fingers. The near-sterling silver rings tinkled prettily against one another as he shook his fist above Alfred’s head. Curiosity lit the deep skies held in his son’s face like stars and Arthur couldn’t keep the soft smile from turning the corners of his mouth, shaking the chain again. Skies and stars indeed, for he had never observed someone to watch the heavens so closely at such a young age. Silently he praised the boy’s curiosity; one day it might have its questions answered if Arthur had anything to say about it. He would give that lad the sky and the seas.

Short, squishy fingers reached up for the chain, seeking the noisemaker with excitement. Arthur raised it away from his baby’s reach and took delight in seeing him try again. So he played the cat-and-mouse, jerking the prize just inches from Alfred’s grasp when he waved his hands skyward. Alfred laughed uproariously each time the toy made its metallic clinking and at seeing the smile on his father’s face. Arthur opened his fingers to reveal the rest of the shining silver toy and raised it to his mouth. One end was a sweet little whistle, which he blew quietly in the face of the babe. A high, windy note spiraled out into the air between them and Alfred laughed again, his entire face bright and bold. It made the boy redouble his efforts.

Arthur finally acquiesced, lowering his hand enough for those ferocious fingers to grip the tiny silver rings and tug. Once more Alfred’s burgeoning strength shot a bolt of pride through the man’s chest. With reluctant fingers he allowed the toy to drop into his son’s happy hands. Little curved talons, blunt by youth, curled around the moon-bright metal like a hunting bird content with its catch. The babe brought the whistle end to his soft mouth and immediately made to teethe on the silver. Tiny puffs of breath made the whistle sing and stutter, and Alfred’s eye glimmered happily, gazing up at Arthur as though he’d hung the heavens. Quickly he slobbered on the toy, but Arthur couldn’t help but feel enraptured by his son, drool or not.

Having forgotten the watching eyes beside him, it was Rhys’ voice that broke his reverie. “You ordered the coral, after all? No measure too small.”

Arthur blinked, looking up and away, then back to the toy in his son’s burbling mouth. The opposite end of the whistle had a stub of red, red coral from lands far away, polished to a beautiful shine. It was worth it to him. Anything to keep winding spirits and the fey away from his boy who had already suffered enough. No measure too small.

“Someday he will not need it, I hope.”

[almostgigi]

🌹right here, right now🌹

Summary: Eddie and reader are in Mr. Kohl office waiting for their punishments but he's late.

Note: sorry in advance for any mistake there might be, I'm not fluent in English as it is not my first language.

WC: 3.8k

Content Warning: fem!reader, reader likes Eddie but he doesn't know her, smut MDNI, fingering, unprotected piv (don't do that, please be responsible), filthy talk, marking, exhibitionism kink, squirting, breading kink (if you squint), just filthy stuff. Let me know if I forget anything!!

I was sitting in the principal’s office when he came in, storming into the place like a hurricane. The door almost getting out of it’s place. I flinch at the loud sound and he doesn’t notice. He sits by my side with his eyebrows frowning and a look in his eyes that was kinda scary. I’m on my phone so it’s not awkward and there’s not weird looks in between us. He has his backpack across his chest and grabs it really tight like his life depends on it. I look at him slightly with my peripheral vision and notice his heavy breathing on my ears. His heart was probably going a mile per minute.

“you ok?” I ask without taking my eyes of my phone and the pictures I was watching. He takes notice of me and my question.

“you talking to me?” he sounds raspy like he was fighting to talk.

“do you see anyone else on the room I could be talking to instead?” my response comes out a bit more rude than I expected so I change my face and turn around.

“wow, rude girl, I see” he softens the grip on his backpack and turns too.

“sorry, I didn’t mean for it to come out like that” I really didn't.

“s’okay, I can imagine you got a bad day if you’re here” at least he’s nice.

“so do you right?” anyone who gets to meet the principal’s office is definitely having a bad one.

“you could say that, yeah” I get a confused look on my face as he stares at me. “what?” he asks in between laughs. Cute.

“what did you do?” I ask softly “to be here, what did you do?” I repeat.

“oh, uhm- I shouldn’t tell you, s’gross” he scrunches his nose as he speaks.

“ah come on, it can’t be worse than Jimmy Cooper sticking his used gum on Mrs. O’Donnell lunch last week. Can it?” there’s a little fear in my words as I can’t believe anything worse or more gross than that. He makes a face that indicates to me that it is, in fact, grosser than what Jimmy did. “what the fuck did you do, Munson?” I’m now on the edge of my seat.

“wait, you know my name? how come I don’t know yours but you know mine if I’ve never seen you before?” he’s at the edge of his now.

“you might have this rare disease called “not noticing pretty girls”, s’bad, if I were you I’ll be heading to the doctor right away after talking to the principal” I press my lips together in a fine line when I’m done talking and I nod, then laugh.

“ouch, I’m sorry lady. S’there a cure for this?” he ask with a hand on his chest, he takes it seriously as he can’t take his eyes off of mine.

“probably, haven’t been discovered yet tho. I know, s’shitty, m’sorry man, good luck at the doctor’s appointment anyways” we both chuckle after a few seconds. This is probably the best interaction I’ve had in years.

“no worries, I’ll call you when I get real sick” he says.

“what for?” I get confused.

“gonna need a nurse to take care of me and my poor state” his voice gets deeper as he talks like this.

“you should know I charge more for specialized treatment tho” I raise my brows at him, I’m not easy to get.

“I can pay you whatever way you need or want” he plays with me.

“oh now you’re just teasing. You’re awful Eddie, you killed the vibe” I get a finger in the air, accusing him in an also playful way.

“so there was a vibe, I wasn’t crazy after all” he moves the chair closer to me. “what did you do to be here” his eyes narrow on my way.

“don’t change the subject, I asked you first” I was not gonna forget that he never answered.

“well I don’t wanna tell but you insist so here we go. I got an f on one of my geometry test just because Mr. Larson doesn’t like me, I did good and he failed me, so I pissed his car door” I wish someone could take a picture of my face in this exact moment a frame it to put in the louvre “I told ya it was gross, you asked for it baby”

“don’t call me baby after you said that, eww” I scrunch my nose in disgust “although I think he deserves it, he’s pretty mean to me too”

“ohh we can’t have him being mean to baby right?” he teases again. I throw a look at him, letting him know what I mean. “sorry for the teasing, it’s who I am”

“wanna know what I did now?” I try my best to keep the topic of him teasing me as far as I can.

“yes, please”

“I got in a verbal fight with one of my classmates and I was in the right, but my teacher picked sides with my classmate and told me to shut up so I told her to go fuck herself. You should’ve seen her face, she could not believe what she heard. Was fucking hilarious” my foot was now closer to his, almost touching each other.

“savage” he says in a funny tone, but looking at the floor where our feet were now touching.

“I know, I know, I’m iconic” I joke, trying to make him laugh and I’m successful.

“I think is really brave to stand for yourself with an adult who doesn’t know what respect for the others is” most of his words come out shaky but genuine. I was about to say something to him but the door was opened and the secretary told us the principal was gonna be late for another half an hour, so we had to wait more.

“fucking awesome” I say. I watch as she closes door and Eddie goes to the principal’s chair and sits on it.

“he sure has better things to do right? Such a busy man” he sits straight and begins to talk again. “if it wasn’t for me this school would be a little shit dumpster. All this kids are nothing without me” his voice sounds funny since he’s trying his best to copy Mr. Kohl’s tone. “I’m a man of word, and you should trust when I tell you I’m gonna make this delinquents into decent people no matter how I have to do it” he continues.

“oh sir, but all that work must be so stressful, isn’t it?” I follow his game and he looks at me with open eyes.

“indeed it is sweet girl, why you ask?”

“I thought maybe…” I stand of my place and approach him. “maybe I could help you sir”

“you think you can young lady?” he says. I put one leg on each side of his sitting body. “what you think you’re doing?” he stutters in between words. I feel his body tense underneath me.

“I’m helping you sir, I can make all the stress go away and I’m gonna show you how” it’s not a secret I like Eddie, all of my friends know it. He’s the one that never noticed me, but I never cared; until now, where I find myself about to show him what he’s been missing.

“I-i- shit. I don’t think you shou- oh my god” all he can do is whimper from the way my hips are bucking into his right now.

“come on now sir, don’t you like me?” he probably should know I’m not playing anymore, this is true now. I pout and look intensely into his dark brown eyes.

“s’not that sweetheart, I-you shouldn’t be doing this here”

“you heard the secretary, he’ll be gone for half an hour more, we got time” he doesn’t seem to be comfortable with the situation as he keeps looking at the door. “I find the fact that someone could find us so fun, don’t you? I thought you were cool Munson”

“I am”

“not right now, you’re not being cool” my hands travel to the back of his neck and I kiss him deeply, desire building in my heart.

“fine” he says as soon as he can without stopping the kiss. One of my hands tries to unbuckle his belt with difficulty, and he helps me with his own hands. I lift my skirt to let him see my lilac and already wet panties. “holy fuck” the air I his lungs leaving is my favorite sound until now. Like he’s devoted to my body. I touch him over his boxer and I can’t believe he goes around packing like that. I don’t even exaggerate when I say he’s the biggest I’ve ever had. “found something you like?” I can’t take my eyes away from that part of him but I force myself and look up to him.

“maybe…” I say as I run a finger ever so slightly over his clothed length making him hiss at the contact.

“you’re such a tease” his tone let’s me know he doesn’t like it, he prefers if I just take it. But I’m not doing that just yet. This is too good to be so short.

“well, I was about to be put in detention for a reason sir” I keep my slight touch on his chest this time.

“you like being like this? like being a bad girl?” I nod “you do, right? you adore coming to see me. I bet you do it on purpose”

“I do sir, I misbehave so I can be with you in this tiny room, so I can be in your lap, so you can feel how good I wanna be for you” now where the fuck was that amount of words coming from? It’s like I was possessed and I liked it.

“my God, you’re so dirty baby” his voice is now so low, I can feel how he gets hard under me even more.

“you haven’t even heard half of it sir, I can be so much dirty. You just have to ask me” I put on my best puppy eyes as I look at him. The desire in his face shows. He’s just as horny as I am now.

“well then, I want you to be the dirtiest you’ve ever been, don’t even hold back a word. I want you full package” his hands go to my waist for a moment and then to my panties where the wet patch was. Two of his fingers touch me where I need him the most.

“please” the trail he does burns me.

“please what, baby? I need you to speak to me beauty” he says in a low tone.

“please touch me, I need you now” I can’t contain it anymore. I need his playful hands on my burning body.

“that’s what I like to hear” he smiles at me. The fingers that were dancing over my underwear were now putting it aside “you’re so fucking wet and I haven’t done anything to you. You got this worked up just by fantasizing with me baby?” I nod as that is the only thing I can do right now. He inserts his fingers finally, in an agonizingly slow motion, I watch as he does so. “already got you dumb on me princess? God, you look so pretty all dumb on my fingers” I whimper as my walls close around him. “so fucking hot, you sound amazing”

“i- Eddie i-” my pleadings seem to be satisfying to him as I look up at him and I find him grinning.

“you-you what sweet girl?” he mocks my stuttering and kisses my cheek. I keep whimpering because I don’t want the secretary to hear me. “you wanna cum baby?” I nod frenetically. “ow, then you do so” Suddenly his movements became faster, fingers hooking on a sweet spot inside of me that was making me see stars.

“oh, fuck, right there! yes! right there!” I scream in a whisper.

“right there baby? that’s the spot? how does it feel for you?” he asks, examining my face.

“it-it feels so fffucking good, I wanna cum all over your fingers” my senses are fucked right now, I can’t even think correctly.

“do it princess, soak me please” his dirty words were doing it for me and he wasn’t gonna stop there. “God, she’s sucking me in. Such a greedy cunt you have here” the feeling of release finally traveling to my lower stomach and letting me have the best orgasm of my life. I come undone on his hands as he helps me to come down of my high. As soon as he takes both fingers out from my insides he puts them in his mouth, sucking on them and getting them clean with his tongue.

“fucking hell, that’s so hot of you Munson” no boy ever had the decency of tasting me before.

“you are as sweet as you look, pretty” he says in a sweet voice. He leans in and kisses me, letting our tongues meet and collapse with each other. “I hope you don’t take this personal, but I need to fuck you”

“oh Eds, I take it very personal. Which means that if you don’t fuck me now I’m gonna fuck you myself”

“I’m very hard right now, if I don’t take it out it’s going to burst” his brows frowning and his big doe eyes looking up at me were the prettiest thing to see.

“take it out then, I wanna see it” with a fast movement of his hands and hips the jeans were lowered to the point where it was easier to have access to his boxers. Seconds later I tug the hem of them with my fingers and I set it free. My mouth waters at the view and I can feel myself getting wetter just by the thought of him inside of me. My cunt clenches and he sees it.

“such a pretty pussy, I wonder how it looks with my cock inside” he keeps the words heavy and dirty just for me. I feel hot and bothered just for him. I grab his cock and line it with my entrance, rubbing the tip just a little so it can get wet with my juices. I sit on him slowly and we both moan at the feeling. He’s stretching me so much. “Pussy’s so tight, it’s clenching around me so good” his hand grabs my neck and pulls me closer to kiss me in a feral way. My teeth catches his lower lip and bites it slightly not to hurt him. “get up, bend over the desk, I can’t fuck you properly in this fucking chair” I hear his demand and I obey him rapidly. My entire body trembling from the uncomfortable position I was in just now. I lower my chest in the desk and he takes one of his hands to the front of my right thigh and knee, bringing it up on the table. This way I was more open for him and he could see my pussy on display. I feel a smack on my ass and he grabs the flesh a little. Soon I feel a small source of air near me. When I realize it's his breathing I don't have time to prepare. His tongue runs the whole way down from top to bottom making me gasp at the sensation. “next time m’gonna spend an hour devouring this pussy, mark my words” he lifts from his knelling position and leaves me thinking about that next time. Was he sure there will be a next time? He wanted to fuck me again and eat me out. Fuck. I was looking forward for that next time already and we weren’t even done yet with this one. Aligning again his length to my entrance, he enters me with a hard and erratic thrust that almost makes me cry, in a good way. We were setting a pace and trying not to be heard. Suddenly one of his hands goes to my covered chest and lifts my shirt a little, grabbing one of my boobs and squishing it tightly. There will be marks on them tomorrow but I didn’t mind as I was lost in the moment, he was fucking me hard enough to cause our skins touching to make a sound. He grabs my leg again taking it forward on the table.

“fuck, I can feel you so deep inside of me, you’re so big Eddie” every inch of his cock making me see stars. My gummy walls accepting his length with love and hotness.

“You’re taking me so well baby, every inch. Perfect pussy was made for me, right baby?” again demanding me and I obey as always.

“y-yes”

“yes what? I thought I asked to be dirty, you’re not being a good girl right now” his tone was now lower and something in it let me know he was getting kinda mad.

“I’m-I’m sorry. Yes, it was made for you, just you” I mumble. I shake my head in an attempt to get my brain clear and be able to think but his hands on my waist and chest were taking out of my body. It was like I was experiencing it outside of what was actually happening, it was strange.

“that’s better. I love the sounds she makes when I go all the way out and I put it in like this” he says pulling out almost completely just to put it in again extremely hard making me moan into my own hand. The squelching sound my pussy made thanks to our juices combined was delicious.

“o-oh my god”

“you like that? Good. Wanna know what m’gonna do? m’gonna cum inside of you and you’re gonna take care of it” I never in my life had taken pills before, turns out I’m gonna have to start. Truth is, we were fucking raw and as much as I know Eddie hasn’t been with anyone else I don’t wanna be pregnant in a matter of weeks. He continues. “I want you to put your wet panties over this pretty pussy again and keep my cum stored until you get home and I want you to take a picture and send it to me. I wanna see my cum leaking out of you, from her before you clean it, understood?” he had a plan for me, a dirty, filthy plan and I liked it. How could I like this? In the whole year that I’ve spent liking Eddie I’ve have never imagined he was like this. I would look at him in the cafeteria with his friends and think he was sweet, always taking care of the boys in his club and making them feel safe and that they fit. Something that was never given to him. A sense of belonging was what he always needed and never had. Boys at school could be very cruel, even more to a kid that was different and proud like Eddie. I would also stare at him at the library, where I always find him on Wednesdays, looking for a new sci-fi book to devour. Or maybe on the parking lot where he would stop to smoke for ten minutes, probably listening to some music while he does. I loved to watch him smoke, even though I hate people that smoke, I find him really sexy when he does. It’s the way he grabs it in between his fingers ever so delicate and brings it to his lips, sucking and then blowing the smoke away. Like I said, so sexy. I get distracted in my thoughts that I barely remember to respond.

“I’ll be good Eddie, I’ll take care of your cum, please. I feel so full, fuck” his cock had found the spot and the head was now abusing it. I put both my hands on the desk, lifting my ass a little bit more and I feel my stomach revolve. The feeling of release again hitting my lower belly but this time there was something more. The hand that was on my boob releases it and goes to my clit, rubbing fast circles in it applying enough pressure to give me the pleasure I want so bad. A few seconds more and I cum around his cock, I hear the gushing sounds of my wetness and I feel sedated. I close my eyes and let go.

“Fuck baby, you squirted all over my fucking cock, Jesus. Got all over the table baby, shit” so I squirted, that was what I felt. He was fucking me so good it made me do something I never did before. He kept fucking me through my orgasm and I felt overstimulated. “Ah, you keep squirting baby, fucking shit, I’m going to cum so fucking deep inside you”. Once I regain my senses, I started throwing my ass back against his cock at the same time he hit me. “Oh that’s it baby, take it, take it, take it” one of his hands smacking my ass cheek as I did. “Yeah, take that fucking cock” I love this version of him that I didn’t know until now. He was a beast, a menace in the best of senses. If I had a very sweet person like him fuck me like this everyday I’ll loose my fucking mind. He grabs my face and makes me turn to look at him while he keeps pounding me from behind. “Look at me, here baby, I want you to look at me when I fill you up” a good and hard thrusts more and he came inside of me, all his hot, sweet cum shooting inside my walls.

He helps me lower down my leg and slowly pulls out and puts my underwear back in a fast movement. Gives a few pats on my clothed pussy and rubs it.

“I want that picture when you get home” he reminds me of his demand. I nod while smiling and I turn to kiss him. “how many classes you have the rest of the day?” he asks interested. We love around and sit on our places.

“just one, biology 3” I was already thinking about how uncomfortable that class would be with a big load of cum trying to come out of my cunt.

“great, I’m in that one too, it’s gonna be fun” I gasp as I realize he’s gonna watch me the entire time but I have nothing left to say as the door is open now. The principal enters and looks like he’s been dealing with something huge that we don’t know about.

“Okay kids, this day has been extremely tiring and I’m sorry I made you wait so long. There’s no much to say as you both have detention on Friday” he takes some papers from the desk and we turn to leave. Suddenly he yells to the secretary and we can’t help but laugh loudly as we hear what he tells her.

“Susan!? Why is my desk all wet and sticky!?”

Well we hope he doesn’t look at the cameras or we’ll be screwed. Detention would be the last of our worries.

[brosser-les-dents]

Do you (or anyone for that matter) know how bad vaping is for teeth? (Yes, I know I shouldn't do it, but addiction is addiction and I am working on quitting.) As best as I can figure, I shouldn't after brushing and should rinse my mouth out after, but is there anything else I should be doing, or any information about negative dental effects aside from cancer and disease associated with smoking/nicotine?

So I've been sitting on this a while, since I didn't know and had to do a little bit of internet searching. The first thing to remember is that vaping is pretty new and there's not a tonne of research that's been done on it. But all the research that has been coming out in general is that vaping isn't great for you. You already know the issues with addictions so I won't get into it.

I did find a couple of articles. Here are some snippets with sources.

Nicotine, whether smoked or vaped, restricts blood flow to the gums, which can contribute to periodontal disease. The fluid in e-cigarettes, which can include propylene glycol, benzene, formaldehyde and other chemicals, only increases the risks. A study published earlier this year in the journal iScience showed that 43% of people using e-cigarettes had gum disease and oral infections. That figure was higher among smokers – 73% – but only 28% among people who neither smoked nor vaped. "The oral cavity is really resilient tissue that heals faster than other parts of the body," Stinson said. "But we also know that when you repeatedly traumatize it, that's when you end up having issues that are irreversible." Those issues, she added, range from inflammation and tooth cavities to loss of bone that anchors teeth to the jaw, called periodontitis, and oral cancer. (Source: American Heart Association)

Several oral health issues have been associated with vaping, including: Dry mouth: Dry mouth (xerostomia) can be caused by irritants in e-cigarette aerosols. Saliva is essential for safeguarding oral tissues and overall oral health. Reduced saliva can heighten the risk of dental issues such as dental caries, periodontal disease, and oral infections. Periodontal disease: A study published in 2016 found that e-cigarette users were more likely to exhibit signs of periodontal disease compared to nonusers.5 According to Jităreanu et al., there is evidence that vaping changes the oral microbiome, leading to an overgrowth of pathogens and loss of beneficial bacteria. This leaves the patient more susceptible to oral disease.6 Tooth decay: The combination of dry mouth and exposure to harmful chemicals can contribute to dental caries. The lack of saliva makes it easier for decay-causing bacteria to thrive, leading to an increased risk of dental caries. Oral lesions: Some research indicates a potential connection between vaping and oral lesions, with vaping causing tissue damage that elevates inflammation and, in conjunction with DNA damage from e-cigarette chemicals, raises the risk of oral cancers. (Source: RDH Magazine, a magazine for dental hygienists)

Definitely poses issues for your overall oral health. So I guess please be diligent with your oral care. As much as you can be, and you already know, that if possible, to try and quit vaping and nicotine overall. Which is of course, much easier said than done.

Whatever you decide or do, remember you are worth the effort. I'd like to give more advice, but honestly, you know what's best for you. I'm here to remind you to brush and floss. Do what you need to take care of yourself! And I'll be here cheering you on and wanting the best for you.

[passivenovember]

Disaster hits on the thirteenth day.

Really, if Billy cared to get technical, disaster hits five minutes before the fourteenth day. Verging on a long weekend. 

It’s all detail.

He’s shitfaced to celebrate the full stop of an insane work week, he’s exhausted but floating in that perfect little space of cross-fade where he’s just happy to be barefoot watching Animal Planet in his living room, and Steve’s shitfaced because Billy is, and they’re still freshly moved into their brand new apartment when Steve drops a bomb.

“Robin,” Steve hiccups, sprawled like a newborn deer on the couch with M&M dust stuck to his lip, “Robin’s gonna set me up,” He says.

Billy itches for a cigarette but he promised Steve he’d stop smoking them. They’re adults now, in this brand-new apartment, and adults have to think about things like gum disease and lung cancer. They’re not as young as they used to be so he chews on his thumbnail instead. His brain pokes at Steve’s words with a stick and wonders if they’ll wiggle their consonants at him, raising one foot to reveal webbed membra. 

“Hmm,” Billy says in the meantime. 

“I told her not to,” Steve says distantly. He flips his feet over his head, heels hitting so hard that their bong rattles on the coffee table. “I tried to get her to stop but. She wouldn’t listen.”

Billy rights the bong with an uninterested hand. “‘Course not.”

“She’s evil.”

“She’s a lesbian,” Billy tries, shrugging his shoulders at Steve, like, what’re you gonna do, right? W.L.W.

But Billy’s arm wrestled Buckley enough times. Seen her chop and carry firewood on one shoulder just as often as she cries over rom coms, so he’s not so fucking stupid that he’d really believe lesbianism is the root of all evil, but Steve giggles anyway.

And that’s worth it.

Billy smiles to himself, smug as a bug in a rug for getting Steve to laugh like that.

“She is a lesbian,” Steve says, scooting along the couch until his head plops like wet dough into Billy’s lap. “She’s dating Heather.”

“Heather,” Billy says, tasting her name on his tongue. Hairspray and lemon drop shots. College years.

“Heather Feather,” Steve says, laughing to himself, “It’s so weird.”

“How’s it weird?”

“Just, like. They orbited each other in high school. Like we did, y’know?”

Billy doesn’t know. But his heart stops and kickstarts all in the same second. Runs wild with the possibility that Steve means what Billy hopes he does.

Heather and Robin. Robin and Heather.

Steve and Billy could be like that, someday. 

Steve pokes at his chest. “You know what I mean, Bills?”

Billy says, “Yeah,” so smart that Steve nods and chews on his lower lip until it gets swollen like a summer strawberry. 

Billy’s heart thumps, jumping its own battery.

He loves this boy.

Fuck, has he loved this boy for years--

Billy fiddles with two silky strands of Steve’s hair. Tries to braid two pieces of hair together and fails miserably. Steve almost purrs, rolling his head against Billy’s thigh until his crown grazes Billy’s very interested dick.

And Billy’s used to sporting a half-chub around Steve. It’s not so bad, anymore. It was a lot harder to deal with before he learned about tucking his cockhead into the waistband of his jeans but now, on the couch in his lazy sweats, smoking pot in their brand new very adult apartment when Steve could’ve easily moved into a place of his own now that they’re out of college--

“Heather gets what she wants,” Steve says. In awe.

Billy thinks about turtles without a shell, shriveled and dying, to make his dick calm down.

“Yeah,” Billy mumbles, “She’s the princess.” 

“Thought I was the princess?” Steve wiggles on the couch until Billy can feel his warm, schnapps-y breath against his belly. His eyes are big and wet and if Billy didn’t know any better he’d think Steve was a second from bursting into tears and that.

Does nothing to help Billy’s situation.

“Hey,” Billy says, keeping Steve down, “You’re my princes. THE princess, right? The Queen.”

“The King,” Steve says, smug.

“That Brat,” Billy tells him. He tugs on Steve’s hair and the sound he makes goes right to Billy’s dick. 

And.

Suddenly they’re two seconds from Billy stabbing up through Steve’s skull, throbbing and wet--

“Sorry,” Steve says, smacking a hand over his mouth, “When I’m drunk I get--”

“--It’s alright--”

“--Shit, sorry,” Steve tries to sit up, cheeks red, but Billy holds him down with a gentle, firm hand. 

“It’s alright, Steve,” Billy says. He’s pitching a tent and if Steve sits up right now-- “We’ve been roommates since we were eighteen years old.”

“We’re only twenty-two--”

“Yeah, and I’ve had a front-row seat to four New Years Eves, three big breakups, that semester you were worried about telling your parents you were switching from business to early childhood ed--”

“--My God--”

“I’m just sayin’ your star quality wore off pretty quick.” And turned into a bone-aching, heart-stopping, knee-trembling Disney Prince Level of Heartthrob pheromone that Steve spews like a rogue sprinkler. 

Billy’s kind of obsessed with it. With Steve.

Billy sinks lower on the cushion, thighs spreading so Steve’s gotta shuffle away. “What’s Robin setting you up for? Summer camp instructor at the Y, or something?”

“That’d be so cool, actually.”

Billy smirks, “Working with kids?”

“Yeah, teaching them about the recorded history of macaroni art, catching fireflies, going to the pool--”

“You’re insane.”

Steve blinks, eyes big and hurt. “Why, because I love kids?”

“Well. Yeah?” Billy deadpans, tugging on Steve’s earlobe. “It’s okay to love kids a normal amount but when you spend nine months out of the year teaching the brats to read while they cover the walls in Sharpie so you lose your deposit--”

Steve giggles and Billy tries not to preen like a fucking exotic bird. 

“--Why the fuck would you sign up to spend your two and a half months of PTO with more kids?”

“I’m not spending my summer vacation as a YMCA camp counselor, Billy.”

“Nice,” Billy says, “Because if you were I was gonna say that dusting off that same tired art circle lesson plan for the next unassuming group of brats is probably the first sign of insanity--”

Steve smacks Billy’s stomach, settling in with his bare feet propped on the arm of the couch. “You’re the Wicked Bitch of the Midwest.” He determines. Like he likes it.

Loves it.

“How’d you know what my lesson plans look like?” Steve peers up at him, smile soft and eyes warm like the center of a chocolate cupcake fresh from the oven.

Billy grins back, running his fingers through Steve’s hair until all the softness in his eyes melts away, “If it’s not a classroom of 14 strangers what’s left for Robin to set you up with?”

“A date,” Steve says.

And.

Billy must turn to dust on the spot. His face probably cracks like the surface of a mirror, his fingers ground to the bone so he can feel the rattling timbre of Steve’s heartbeat as he waits to see what’s going to happen.

“Say something,” Steve insists. Like he knows what that news means to Billy, and. He’s hoping it isn’t true.

Billy breathes deeply through his nose, but it feels like his airways have closed like summer roads, little red signs cluing construction. 

Steve sits up, Billy’s fingers slipping from his hair. He smooths it back into place. It’s wild. It pops up again like a spring-loaded toy. Like a jack in the box. 

Billy says, “Who’s the lucky guy,” flat and fragile because his windpipe is being crushed under the weight of unshed emotion.

Steve doesn’t hear it. His face hardens. “I dunno who he is,” Steve says, “That’s the point of a setup--”

“--you didn’t say it was a blind date, how am I supposed to know--”

“--it doesn’t fucking matter, alright?” Steve swings his feet to the floor, elbows to knees so Billy can’t see his face, only the angry red vein that thumbs blood through his neck to his brain. “I thought. I thought I would tell you--”

“And what?” Billy demands.

Steve turns, eyes like a summer storm. Muddy and swamped. He’s breathing like he just ran a race. Lost the gold. “I thought i would tell you about the date, and. I thought you were gonna say something.” 

Billy sits, frozen and terrified, “Steve--”

Steve gets up. He grabs his keys from the bowl on the coffee table, tugs his shoes on by the front door, and slams out of the house.

--

Billy doesn’t know why he couldn’t say it.

Anything. 

So he drinks. He drinks and watches the door and tries to figure out what he’ll say when, someday, it opens and Steve is there cloaked in sunlight.

--

Really, it’s Robin’s fault so he calls Heather, clutching a bottle of whiskey by the neck to keep himself in his place against the wall by the telephone.

Robin answers. “Hello?” She says. And she’s high. Billy knows she’s high because they went to college together.

“Put Feather on,” He demands because if he has to listen to Robin’s voice he’ll stick his head in the oven and end it all.

“Are you drunk?”

“Are you a bitch?”

“God, you’re such an asshole--” Robin starts, but someone yanks the phone away. 

“Billy baby,” Heather says, and Billy tries to not immediately burst into tears at the sound of her voice, scratchy from smoking too much.

He fails. 

In the background, someone’s grumbling under their breath. Someone else is shushing them. 

Steve is at Heather and Robins because. Of course he is, and. Billy doesn’t want to intrude but they’re his lesbians too, alright? They’re all friends. Best friends. Billy has just as much a right to run to their safety as Steve does, and--

“Billy, what’s wrong?” Heather asks. For once in her life she sounds worried. Tired.

Billy wants to tell her everything. 

He’s in love.

Steve wants Billy to be in love with him, and Billy is in love with him but he couldn’t say it and now--

“Do you want me to come over?”

Billy thumps his forehead against the wall. “Feather May, ‘M drunk.”

Heather pulls away from the receiver to whisper something at Steve and Robin. Distantly, he imagines all tree of them crowding around the telephone, anxious to hear what he’s going to say like this is the 1940s and Billy’s the President of The World, making a speech that will really change things, and not.

This. Whatever he is right now.

Pathetic. Smarmy little sack of shit--

“You’re not a sack of shit, Bills,” Heather says, shushing him. “You’re just scared, that’s all--”

“Makes me a sack ah shit, Heath.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

Someone’s mumbling again. It sounds like Steve. 

Steve, when he’s at the breakfast table reading the paper to himself quietly. Steve, his head tilted close to a museum plaque at that shitty little pioneer museum in the valley, reading to Billy because Billy was too stubborn to do it himself. Steve, whispering into the receiver in the middle of the night, every night, when he was studying abroad during their last semester of junior year--

“Is,” Billy tries, as the room trips over itself. “Is Steve there?” 

He is. Heather doesn’t have to tell him. Steve is everywhere, written in the sky and on diner tops and scrawled like graffiti over stop signs.

“Yeah,” Heather says. Solemn.

And Billy’s never heard his witch bitch sound solemn before so he starts sniffling again, worried that this means Steve’s never gonna come home because Billy’s afraid. 

“Can he hear me?”

“Yeah,” Heather says, and. 

Billy pushes away from the wall. Wants to stand on his own two feet for this. “I don’t want you to go on a blind date, Steve. Or a set up, or. Whatever. Because I want to watch T.V. with you. And we just signed our brand new lease, like, yesterday and we haven’t even unpacked yet and I thought I could make pancakes. We could fight over who gets the biggest room, or we could move into the biggest room together, like--”

“--Billy--”

“Not in twin beds. Not like those couples from the 1960s but like. Lovers. We could make it our home, and you could read the paper to me out loud on Sunday’s, and I could brush your hair because your hair is so soft, Steve. I want a pillow and a sweater and a blanket made of your hair, I want--”

“--Billy, stop--”

“I want to live inside you. Forever. In this house, inside of you, beside you, on top of you, I want. You. I love you.” Billy says, from the floor. 

He sat down.

Somewhere in the middle of that he sat down, and the floor is nice. Steve should be here with him.

"I can move out,” He says. Like. Problem solved, and. The line goes silent, everyone holding their breath, so Billy takes another swig from the bottle and clarifies, heart breaking, “I don’t want Steve to go away.”

No one says anything. 

Billy tries not to cry, again. 

Fails.

“I don’t want him to never come home,” Billy says, wrapping himself in the phone cord, somehow. “If he won’t come home because I’m here, I’ll go. I’ll go pack a bag right now, but. I’ll make sure it’s perfect for him. I’ll make sure it’s home. I’ll make some bread and put the coffee on and I’ll clean the kitchen before I disappear, I’ll--”

“I love you,” Steve says.

Steve.

Stevestevesteve--

There’s snot running down Billy’s nose. It’s disgusting. 

“I’m not leaving,” Steve says, sounding. Way more sober than Billy’s ever been in his entire life. Like he’s studied Billy, he’s mapped the path, he knows what he wants--

“I’m never leaving you,” Steve tells him, voice soft like feather down. “No matter what.”

Billy lifts his whiskey bottle to find that it’s empty. “Steve, I’m drunk.”

On the other end of the line, Steve hums. Billy knows he’s chewing on his thumb nail, deep in thought like he gets when it’s late and Billy’s a burning forest needing something cool to hang onto.

Billy leans against the wall. 

When he was a kid he used to imagine what he could’ve done differently. How many times he could’ve done differently, and.

It starts with his mom. 

He tried. She never listened, but Steve does. Billy wipes his eyes with the back of his hand and says, “Can you come home, now,”

And Steve says, “I’ve already got my shoes on.”