#guess i just liked ur stuff lol
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Your spamming blew up my notifs, like 64 notes???😭😭
thx for your encouragement tho
You're welcomeee
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Initial drawings of that old man… I literally, I haven’t finished reading the book of bill yet!!! I had to stop and take a break for a week to feverishly draw fanart of myself petting fords floofy hair and giving him attention and shit…!!!! The urge was too great….!! I’ve literally. I had a crush on this guy the instant he was first REVEALED in the show, but I did not have the artistic prowess to draw good looking old men back then… but I do now… thank god… thank fucking god
#gravity falls#ford pines#stanford pines#self ship#self insert#si x canon#it me#doodles#I got a haircut! so my hair looks different now.. as haircuts tend to do lol#anyway… yeah… I LOVE HIM… GRAHHFJH#the confirmation that he rlly is just sad and lonely and insecure and craving attention and validation#OHH FORD BBY.. WE R THE SAME#like… ghghg i loved him already just w his prickly nerdy outer shell but knowing more about the vulnerable center is GREAT. ITS AWESOME#also hes a smart nerdy guy who can do science and expirements and shit which is ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS FOR A CHARACTER TO DO#u kno im all about scientists….#I couldn’t draw ship art back then 1 cuz I didn’t kno how to draw old men and 2 cuz I was like 13 lol… which would have been wierd#but I’m an ADULT NOW. GET OVER HERE FORD#also it didn’t even rlly cross my mind TO draw that stuff cuz even tho I did love ford#self ship and x reader sorta stuff was not NEARLY as popular back then.. like I specifically remember it like. booming in popularity#at some point. but being pretty rare before that. anyway. thank u passage of time and trends and new gravity falls book for introducing#me back to fictional man I love. so I can now draw myself smooching him and shit#hell yeah.#13 is probably not actually correct I do not remember exactly which year fords reveal was in…#but I was probably older then 13.. but still#the point remains lol.#also omg. the bit in the book w the goth moth. ‘ur probably into this sorta thing right?’#I AM INTO THAT SORTA THING FORD. thank u book of bill for being written specifically @ me. the immersion it’s great.#like ur so right ford I AM edgy and goth how’d u guess that tee hee. eyelash flutter#aLSO PLS IGNORE MY FINGER BEING IN FRAME IN THE LAST PIC. I was drawing in a tiny bound sketchbook#so I had to hold the paper down to keep it flat. and. I didn’t feel like censoring my fucking. pinkie finger out of the image
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fictional female characters and characters with insanely obvious cluster B personality disorders will never know peace as long as te/s fans keep making posts about them i mean it
#text#this might be happening cause all te/s fans find the lore parts really interesting and don;t care about personalities and intricacies of -#- human behavior i guess which is cool you like what you like but @ some point U gotta understand ur saying some nonsense😒#U couldn't even pay me to read one page of some fantasy franchise lore doc let alone some te/s lore cus i don't find it -#- to be all that entertaining or useful. i generally don't get into fantasy stuff and stick to non-fiction when i can but i just love -#- sk*rim. lols#maybe the process of sucking in all the elf and dragon fictional lore is stripping some of the ability to form interesting thoughts#because the brain is occupied with all that knowledge#and it's hard to come up with them on ur own unless that video game is spoonfeeding a dynamic to you#i sound so mean but i don't mean anyone in particular so it's fine. my Blog MYYYYYY rules#everyone has some reason to like something they like and that's good. don't let me change your mind on wat u like kay#non-fiction is just very important to me#i sound snobby af don't screenshot me and post it on ur blog i don't need the te/s nerds jumping me KJUIIUEFRUHIJFREUERFIUOUERFIK
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come out of your shell chapter 3 epilogue is now out! thanks for enabling me, everyone! :)
#prohibitedwish#fionna and cake fanfic#my fic#scarab the god auditor#prismo the wishmaster#i guess if u dont like adult stuff u could just read the first and last chapters lol#this is practically rated T#u all made this happen couldnt have done it without ur glowing reviews <333
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would you like to elaborate on any gender analysis or headcanons for the bad kids?
I love th way this is worded. what if I wouldn't like to where would we be
#not art#I am Not puttin u on the spot anon u probs mean well! and we all talk that way in certain directions. this is more abt me bowing out lol#like. idk dont got a lot to add here! like I believe in transfem fig and a world of beautiful genders in the future for gorgug but#ngl I am. severely limited in how I experience gender. on account of not really having one#like thinking-a-character-changing-gender-would-mean-nothing-about-them level of limited#I did that post on riz and gorgug pretty specifically from the cultural angle bc That is something I have experience with#and most of it really was just like. reading the vibes from canon details#some stuff jumps out to me pretty clearly sometimes! and thats kinda it#and like. a lot of Gender Readings will necessarily return to elaborate on the setting and how it works specifically there for me#gender is a construct means gender necessarily depends on where and when it's perceived and enforced etc#and that I'm not putting in a post lol. at the very least if I talk abt that Im doing a comic#as well it will always interact with the world around it in important ways that are so mundane and small a tumblr post would be#a subpar container for it#so I guess my answer really kinda is ''I wouldn't like to'' lmao. genuinely. black box computing#when I got something to say abt it I will! and until then I will simply chill n do other thangs#thats all thank u for ur time. I resume drawing now. sayonara
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Would like to add fae to the obey me universe
But like the ones that steal your face if you dont follow some unspoken rule they have
#i watched someone play this ARG the other day#where you work at this hotline that is supposed to help people with fae issues#they describe whats happening#and then ur supposed to guess which type of fae it is#and if u guess wrong u end up making the situation like 10 times worse#so now im like#faes are kinda Wilding#if demons exist why not fae too (in obey me lol)#and mc just doesnt know about these thing#so could u imagine if they ran into a fae some day#and theyre like#oh theyre kinda strange but ig we can be friends#it could go so wrong so fast#obey me#super specifc au right here#writing idea#thats the type of stuff i like to write haha
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Some days I want to pull the bomb out of my chest (my heart) and throw it into the center of the earth and blow the whole place up :D
#i guess this is a vent post idk#just really frustrated and don’t feel like I can express it in my usual spaces cause it’s all related to people who share those spaces#like where do u go to vent and talk about stuff when u wanna vent about ur trusted friends#and partners like#man lol#the feminine urge to make an alt account to vent on so some people you trust can see#and then to need an alt for your alt so that those people don’t see it#and so on and so forth into eternity until you’re journaling alone and it doesn’t feel good cause it’s lonely
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Not trying to be a hater but I don't care for Flavio that much
Ok! 👍
#I mean not alot of people care about him anyways considering hes a minor character#or maybe ur just annoyed by the posts about him LOL#either way thats fine i guess#this is why i was thinking of moving my flavio stuff to a different blog#I dont wanna come off as too annoying about a character i like 😭
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IA 2.0 voisona test with a short version of drag on dragoon's ending B song tsukiru/exhausted :) now i can hear Lia's beautiful dulcet tones sing scary scary songs
#vocal synth wip#maybe i'll finish it. not sure if im fully happy with the base file yet. ive been working on it + the growing wings ver for a thousand year#the timing is super tricky. why did i decide to make an svp of the most intentionally muffled smothering whispering song on earth#as my first attempt at making an svp by myself. why did i do this myself#also the instrumental probably needs work since its just a basic like software remove vocal situation LOL#there is no official instrumental rip..... i think someone had made a nice piano instrumental like five years ago but the videos down so#this is all we got LOL#the base file was an svp because i started this whole project in sv because..... its easier for me LOL BUt also i didnt feel like dealing#with the whispering in the bg of the original so i was like. just gonna make a flat track and maybe output the aspiration separate#and like fuck around with that until it sounds weird enough. but voisona and cevio dont have that function so i just stopped at the main#vocal + the chorus double. which also i have been so spoiled by sv scripts. randomize timing my beloved. i had to manually randomize it her#it took.... a thousand years 😔😔😔😔 although i guess thats fine since the tuning is like mostly default with just some tiny adjustments#i was more interested in messing with the different voice expressions and stuff in voisona <3 IA 2.0 has like this awesome exhale expressio#that im in love with because like. okay the one thing i think UTAU banks always have on any other synth is the end breath situation#no other software has given me as expressive end breaths as ur average utau bank. but IA's exhale is getting there!!!#also hopefully this isnt too loud. this is a very loud song. drakengard is a very loud game#edit: i mixed this like deliriously melting from a lack of AC and a bajillion percent humidity and listening back i now realize how#fucked up the volume levels are LOL ia's a BIT too loud and that double should be messed with a lot#but it works for demo purposes i think at least. kinda
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i dont think i ever felt more annoyed at commercials than when those mean girls walmart ads were playing a few months ago or whenever that was
#i think it's mostly bc i thought mean girls was like. an okay movie. a fine movie? i think i liked it#but like. i saw it once. i have no nostalgia for it bc i saw it way later/not when it originally came out#and god the way people are so into it. i mean that is great like i dont wanna be a hater for people enjoying things#but me personally. i do not understand why it's a cult classic or whatever klsjfkdlsfj i hear people quote it all the time and im like. 🧍#so having those quotes i already dont care about re contextualized to try to sell me walmart. god. the worst experience jkfsdjfklJFDKLSJF#tbh maybe it woudlve been worse if i liked the movie but i saw comments saying those commercials were funny so WHATEVER#i feel like it's also the same w/like. vocaloid kfsjdflksjgh like i dont dislike it!! i enjoy some songs#but i never had a vocaloid phase when i was younger. i feel so very neutral about miku#ppl on the internet feel so strongly positive and again thats great and i objectively get it#ive been shown vocaloid songs and some are really catchy#but it is one of those instances where im like man. a level of hype i dont fully understand LOL#miku vocaloid stuff is at least endearing tho. i get.... tired... w/mean girls quotes......... ksljfsljfl#It's Always The Same Ones and i just dont think theyre very funny FKJLDSJFDKLSJF maybe i am a hater damn#jk i do think i liked the movie? god i dont remember i watched it like. i dont even know when. college at the earliest i think#but whatever thats just a case of people having different interests just cuz i didnt care about a thing doesnt man its bad other ppl like i#also tho i think bc the mean girls overquoted bits remind me of like. rae dunn ceramics LOL jkfskfjsekht#or like idk live laugh love stuff. yknow like. dont talk to me until ive had my coffee has same energy as on wednesdays we wear pink. to me#it's facebook wine mom humor.... bc it is people roughly my age that were/are really into it and they are now mom age i guess lwpfhewhfp#god i need to go to bed im tired and it's making me a cranky complainer about stuff that doesnt matter!!!!#went 2 my dash in a dif tab and immediately saw a miku post is she gonna get me for not having strong feelings about her#im sorry miku i just . i dont get it JKFLJDSKLFJKSLD#ur music is fun i just dont proportionately understand. i feel like im missing context w/this one girl maybe thats my bad idk#or maybe it's just i found u too late idk. i will jam to the bops tho#that endless/everlasting/whatever nights thing w/like the 4 alt storyline songs is soooo fun i love those#dont ask me the names of the ppl in them tho i dont fuckin know besides like. 3 of them. one is miku LOL#and those yellow twin kids. len and ren. or rin? len and rin? i dont remember and i dont care enough to look it up sorry small children#theres that blue haired guy that was in the one prsk route i played but i forgot his name again#i dont know if hes in those songs i was talkin about tho i only remember what he looks like in his youthful wonderland alt loll#i talk in the tags bc i get scared it feels safe in my burrow here underground#also im calling mean girls mid and saying i dont have miku hype so i feel like that does warrant going into hiding
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i try my best not to think of it and i havent in years but the fact the only people who were ever supposed to be my friends irl would always dump their love on me and then to leave me & say they dont like me over and over and over again only so they could watch my reaction n make fun of me together maybe did affect me huh
#i am normal i am not affected ii do not see ◡_◡#[distant sounds of me crying & screaming && gasping for air &&& ripping myself to shreds like a bear]#i was always an autistic lil freak who didnt speak so i guess i shouldnt be surprised#but like. i always just wanted them to like me#i always just wanted the chance to like them back and let be allowed. always just wanted someone to be pals with. someone i could trust to#have my back for once vs everything else#i remember such a specific moment right#and we were going on a roadtrip w her and one i already had#and they ended up talking before we left#the worst part is i had to keep seeing them. i had to just keep reliving the humiliation over n over again n it got so deep in me#& the og one had a plan that we would sit together in the back n n we had like. tons of stuff brought we could do n snacks n all this#n then at the very last second literally as i had just sat down she was like . actually. i dont want you back here. i want her she's way be#better#and i remember so specifically she was like. LOL look at ur face..........#and so i had to sit up front alone w nothing to do the entire ride but listen to them make fun of me for it#i feel like it would be better if they had left it at that but then they always came back n treated me so sweetly so i was like . ok i have#a chance#maybe they do like me#like the same girl went on to share cookies she had bought w me and we sat on the lawn for hours hanging out n eating them#and then she did it again#and again#but i was so alone in the world otherwise that i stayed#for years n years#my therapist always talks about how because of how long ive had anxiety means itll take either equally as long or longer to recover#and all i can think ab is how i lived with everything horrible at home#always just wanting to escape#to living through bad things outside of it too#just piling on top#from 6-16#and i kept going back
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i think perhaps saying dnis don't work is a bit silly because well they do as the function of them By and large "work" by showing what you will and won't tolerate or stand for as a person and what you will be posting about in that regard and anyone who willingly follows you will know this and if they didn't read it and would be upset by the criteria on it for whatever reason it's their own fault. it's like a built in contingency as well as a statement more so for others than a big sign saying "keep out racists!!!" that the racists will sadly walk away from your blog with. so. you can't reasonably say do not interact x y and z especially for systemic bigotry that anyone including ourselves are capable of enacting but you can reasonably say i don't agree with or tolerate this shit and will kill you if you are near me, which i think is better than people just assuming so personally, esp bc a lot of things AREN'T just like, something you can assume. mostly i think it's just quicker to say a 3 letter abbreviation than anything else.
#🐾#like yeah ppl will do whatever they want anyway but i'd say most ppl esp the kind in my dni for example#are very insecure and hateful individuals who consider themselves the victims and do not want to be quote unquote ''discriminated'' against#WHICH is why anyone saying something like pr*shippers dni works anyway bc they're so entitled that they wouldn't be ABLE#to follow someone who hated them they would rather pitch the mother of all tantrums than do that lol#and if they did follow or heavily interact despite it they have to put up with people being hostile towards them so well it's lose-lose#for them.. lol#dni's as a function anyway came from im pretty sure just normal etiquette culture in certain communities#like those banners and stuff ... ppl integrating them into their blogs themselves is a pretty natural progression but does come with other#issues that i guess other people are critical of but i don't really see the point in being so bc like well everyone KNOWS so who cares#like yeah you can't actually control who sees ur blog or posts / no one checks people bios before interacting w something#but it's expanded to just mean a plain ''don't follow me/talk to me or i'll block you''#you can't necessarily be mad perpetually at the idea of someone you dislike as a person touching your stuff but you can control ur own like#space...#other stuff that's like sounds obvious/could be interpreted as pandering/is ''the bare minimum'' is like well okayyy but it's not FOR THAT#it's for saying you don't tolerate that type of harmful bigoted shit
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...
#guess whos back in therapy bby 😎#the lady i saw was nice. 1st appointments r always a lotta blah blah blah so much to cover#and im always like bleh whatever im not that bad but when u put it all down on paper it is sorta a lot lol#i got the comment. hm u seem to kno a lot abt the dsm. and like listen. i have been meticulously categorizing my problems for the last 4#years. and i like to learn so ya kno. also said yea it sounds like u r having hypomanic episodes.#and asked if bipolar was a possibility and like if i was bipolar that would absolutely blow my god damn mind. im pretty sure its just pmdd#but whatever. im open to the possibility. mostly i wanna hear someone else perspective on this#i feel like im collaborating on a project. like gimmie ur notes i wanna see if were on the same track. bc im insane like that#i always feel bad when they apologize for asking invasive questions. like neh its fine. i got nothin to hide and i dont give a fuck#also i told a class of my peers that my distraction from research is drawing narut0 fan art. again bc i do not#give a single fuck. Professors response: hopefully we get to see it some day. bro. if u ask me i will show u. i do not care#i mean. probably nothing too weird but i feel like most of my stuff is safe to share. i just come off looking like a weeb i guess#but yea back in therapy bc my mum reminded me bc the ppl around me irl r also worried for my well-being based on my behavior lol#i mean its just bc i complain that im in like psychological pain a lot. so lots and lots of bitching abt my brain ^^#the lady i saw did fall a lil bit into my trap. like what woulf ur life look like if u had everything under control? bc it seems like ur#here and ur starting a phd what more do u want? and im like mwahaha but u see i can do school#i can do school so good. i am the best at school and thats it. i am otherwise barely functional#so i can be successful on paper and dysfunctional when it comes to having a life :-]#but whatever. well see what she wants to follow up on next week bc i threw a lot at her#also went to my office for the 1st time. it is really nice to sit in a working lab and watch ppl interact. but also i do feel like im#dying if i try to sit in that room with 2 other ppl lol. so well see how it goes. i may find somewhere else to hide#unrelated
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don't you just love when you reach out to a crisis chat line and all the responses feel like a literal robot is writing them because of how vague and unhelpful they are <3 /s
#so i guess an update on me again. thought i was doing better this week but i guess not really!#anyways!! if ur ever like 'huh xmcu-fietro seems quiet lately" it's bc my mental health has been in the absolute gutter this whole semester#I'm so sorry to be neglecting fandom stuff but I am really struggling. this month has generally been a little better though and I think#that christmas break will really help me just rest and focus on taking care of myself since i wont have school#unfortunately that break is a month away lol#fietro's personal posts
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2023 reads // twitter thread
Zombabe
paranormal YA set in a small town in 2003 where weird things happen that mostly get ignored
a boy is resurrected by his best friend after dying just before graduation. but he’s maybe a zombie now and if he ignores his hunger for flesh an ancient evil might start causing bigger problems
thankfully one of his friends’ aunt is a cop who has no problem helping get rid of some of the local nazis
queer teen friend group, m/m
#zombabe#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#i.s. belle#lgbtq books#i loved this!!!!!!#the like. 3rd person omniscient (i think) in a modern (ish) setting works really well actually?#and its one of those books that has little snippets of various side characters yknow what i mean.#it’s kinda slow building up until the end when it happens very fast#i have no idea where the next books will go????#I also really liked that like. while obv there's homophobia in the world (& the aforementioned nazis very much bully them up for being gay)#there's not any internalised homophobia or anything like that. and like even tho the nazis like threaten to kill them I guess-#you never feel like the actual threat and danger of it from the narrative. you know the bigots are just gonna die lol#is my intense fixation on wanting to bite my best friend a zombie thing or is it just the gay yearning i’ve been trying to ignore#I already made a post about this but tentatively comping to in the flesh.....zombies....slightly anachronistic small town people who#turn a blind eye to stuff..dark with a bit of humor...kind hearted quiet blonde gay boy MC....#I will say that ITF is a lot heavier re: mental health and like systemic oppression and stuff#(.....because I just rewatched it again. prompted by reading this book)#I will also note that; while I don’t think this is reskinned fanfic; the author used to write a lot of It movie fic#so if ur into that you might like this apparently it has similar vibes#nz author
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men who gift their wives/partners kitchen stuff for their birthday/christmas/etc should die
#my boyfriend almost gifted me a pink kitchen set for my birthday bc i talked about wanting one#but then he said he stopped himself bc he thought about it for .1 seconds and realized that’s the most patronizing gift ever#and then he bought me anime merch bc i am a weeb hehehe#like it isn’t hard to come to that conclusion bro 😭#it’d be like if he got me a toaster for christmas… like thanks i guess?#literally the dumbest gift idea i can think of#meanwhile there are ppl on reddit whose husbands DO THIS and it makes me cringe#i just read this post where this woman said she TOLD HER HUSBAND specifically what she wanted#and this man went out of his way to ignore her and buy kitchen stuff??#it isn’t even pink… listen i wouldn’t be mad if my bf bought me a fully pink kitchen set 😭 but imagine ur husband is like#marry christmas here’s a toaster. make me some toast ❤️#he dies immediately. i’d kill him#when me and bf shop for each other we literally just ask what we want bc guessing is hard lol#that way we always get what we want! see how easy that is men of reddit#reddit makes me realize just how little effort men put into their relationships. i feel fortunate my bf is normal and sweet 😭❤️#LIKE IT’S A SHARED SPACE WHY WOULD YOU GIFT SOMEONE SOMETHING FOR A SHARED SPACE JUST BUY THE TOASTER DON’T TURN IT INTO A GIFT WHAT
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