#grief (bargaining stage specifically)

[namelessprayers]

lu guang could never understand what made a tragedy so much more superior when crafted with a romance. that always seemed so superficially dictated by society, so obviously manufactured by the world's overwhelming obsession with love.

then, when cheng xiaoshi kissed him, it was like something snapped.

because cheng xiaoshi kissed like it wasn't their first time. cheng xiaoshi kissed like they had all the time in the world. cheng xiaoshi kissed like he wasn't the dead man which lu guang would risk the world to keep alive. they kissed as though time was not of the essence, as if they could somehow transcend it.

and it was tender, and right, and troubling. so troubling.

because he wasn't ignorant, and when they broke apart for air, lu guang could only clutch desperately at cheng xiaoshi's shirt and bow his head down, refusing to look him in the eye. to pass it off casually, he nuzzled his face into cheng xiaoshi's neck, hardly able to stand upright without holding on like this might all evaporate into a dream.

"awh, you really are like a cat." cooed cheng xiaoshi, naive, blissful, all too familiarly and achingly genuine. how sweet, lu guang couldn't help but say to himself.

but it didn't feel as sweet as it looked, because all lu guang could attempt was to not imagine cheng xiaoshi with blood on his chest. lu guang belatedly realized, now he wouldn't just remember everything else about cheng xiaoshi, but also how he tasted and smelled on top of it all. it was a harrowing thought.

and additionally, it seemed apparent that this was a big change. it was a problem big enough to possibly make or break the timeline.

"hey-" started cheng xiaoshi, only to be cut off by lu guang pulling him back in for another kiss. he decided that the timeline was a problem for another day, and secretly, lu guang was hoping that this timeline would be different in a better way. improved, perhaps.

he thought, stupidly, that love could somehow be enough.

then, when cheng xiaoshi died, streaking lu guang's hands in a far too familiar shade of red, another thing snapped.

it became apparent that they weren't getting any time.

lu guang's jumps became less of a dull pain that simply needed to see cheng xiaoshi and live through their friendship again, it became something feral, something carnally desperate. he wasn't sure how to live without getting fifty or more years of this; this, being cheng xiaoshi looking at him that way, kissing him that way, knowing lu guang without the imminent end looming overhead.

and it wasn't fair. yet inexplicably, lu guang began less drained each time, instead becoming somewhat reinvigorated each return, each reignition of what he sought so hard to maintain.

but it was futile, a matter of time, and they were running out.

lu guang could tell, with every shift that got further and further as well as closer and closer, time was mocking them.

because he could see them lasting. he could easily imagine them eighty years old, changed but still the same, stubbornly holding onto the habits of their youth and each other.

he knows cheng xiaoshi would still drag him to pose for a needless amount of photos and hang the pictures everywhere around their living space. he knows cheng xiaoshi would still buy him elaborately childish cat themed apparel and he'd still wear it because it's comfy despite looking ridiculous. he knows cheng xiaoshi would still order his milk tea with the ever consistent levels of sugar and ice.

it especially hurts, because instead of having memories of repetitive routine in old age, lu guang is intimately stuck with the feeling of cheng xiaoshi dying in his arms, bleeding out, taking a final breathe, over and over again.

so he tries, claps and dives back to the beginning without hesitation, any attempt to salvage what feels natural, what feels right. lu guang can't stop time, but he'll live forever if it's the only alternative.

and though the love enhances the pain of loss, it also enhances the joy of living, and lu guang finally understands the value of a tragic love story; in every scream and every timeline and unavoidable death and slightly reiterated kiss. lu guang just has to let it linger, end and all, hoping that one day it'll finally pay off somehow.

[mars-ipan]

damn... charlie's a good ass actor

[silly-cuchufli]

Can we talk about how pantheon weaves the exploration of grief into every aspect of its story!!!!!! Specifically, the show captures the complex nurture of grief by highlighting the different stages of grief through its individual character and how they progress throughout the story

First, you have Ellen, who represents denial. She lost her husband, David, and somewhat forces acceptance upon herself and her daughter. Even though the story picks up after David’s death, we see Ellen’s journey through grief when David comes back. Ellen’s acceptance of her loss is juxtaposed with denial. When her husband comes back, she’s confused and hurt. She doesn’t want to accept he’s back because, well how could she? She’s lived two long painful years without him. She’s gone through so much, having to accept that he’s gone just for hime to come back. She’s terrified with the pain that comes along side embracing him. If she accepts him as alive again, she also has to accept the possibility of losing him again. She has to learn to accept the pain that accompanies love. Even though she eventually accepts David, her denial to his resurrection is still highlighted earlier on in the show.

There’s also Chanda. He is a not so subtle representation of the anger associated with grief. He literally burns a building and kills a family because he was blinded by his grief. He was grieving his life, and how he would never live as he once did. All of his actions are propelled by his anger over the loss of his life. He is desperately trying to achieve what he never got the chance to while he was human. He’s trying to create the world he never got to live in. He can’t accept the way things are because he’s still stuck in his anger over his loss.

Next, there’s Cody. He represents bargaining. He can’t accept the loss of his wife, so he does anything minimize and postpone his sadness. He doesn’t question or deny Laurie when she comes back like Ellen did with David. Rather he accepts her without a second thought. His actions aren’t solely propelled by love, but rather his avoidance to pain. Even before he knew Laurie’s upload was successful, he didn’t accept that she was gone. He still felt that she was alive and the same as she had been. When she came back, he did anything for Laurie because he didn’t want to lose her or accept that things had changed. He did everything in his power to keep things the same and try to live as he did before. When Laurie is prepared to die to spread her message to the world, he doesn’t accept losing her again. Rather, he prepares to “reboot” her and keep thing the way the are, even though they’re not.

Next there’s Capsian, who represents depression. Now the thing he’s mourning is a bit different from the other characters in this analysis. He isn’t mourning the physical death of someone, but rather the death of his innocence. He found out he was a clone and that his entire life was a lie. Everything he thought he knew wasn’t real, and that’s terrifying. While he goes through the other stages of grief, the show draws attention to the depression part of grief through Caspain. He quickly recognizes the true extent of his loss but still struggles to accept and cope with it. Thus, he is easily manipulated by Pope and throws himself into curing the flaw because to him it’s a way to avoid the looming hopelessness of his situation. He’s lost interest and passion for the things he once cared about, and focuses on what he feels he has to do. He feels hopeless, and desperately trying to cure the flaw is his way of trying to reclaim agency. If he solves the problem, he regains some control over the hopelessness he feels.

Finally, there Maddie, who represents the complex journey to acceptance. Throughout the show, she experiences all the stages of grief. The show focuses on her journey to accepting the loss of her father and the life she once had. We watch her go through the stages of grief at her own pace and eventually come to terms with her loss. We watch her grow into the person that can eventually let her father pass. We watch her move forward despite her loss. She still is in unimaginable pain because of the death of her father, but she still keeps moving.

While all of the characters experience all the stages of grief, it feels like the show focuses on specific stages with specific characters. Pantheon displays how grief is complicated and messy, and not just some straight line. It highlights non-linear growth and how character progress and regress throughout their respective journeys with grief. It shows how grief isn’t something that it easily overcome, but rather a long and exhausting process. It shows through its main cast how each stage of grief is its own journey and hurtle to overcome. Pantheon demonstrates that even after you accept loss fully, it doesn’t take away from the immense pain loss causes you to feel. All you can do is keep moving forward.

[eroguron0nsense]

Garp Rant #11543

Because I'm something of a Certified Garp Hater/extremely obsessed with this man, and because Tumblr people seem to like my Garp takes and/or find them extremely pain-inducing, here's another one for funsies! Again, Garp is an incredibly written character and I massively enjoy his moral failings and human shortcomings, hence why I won't shut up about how much he sucks. So we all remember Garp crying in front of Ace during his imprisonment and awaiting his execution, lamenting the fact that his son and grandson could have maybe avoided this horrible horrible fate that awaits them at Marineford if they'd just become good marines like he'd tried to press them into. Every time he says it, he sounds more desperate, sadder, and angrier, like he's experiencing the stages of grief and going through denial, anger bargaining all at once, lashing out at his grandkids for supposedly causing him grief by defying his wishes, or maybe praying or wishing for a world where they could have followed in his footsteps and lived happily ever after. And when Ace hears that again at Impel Down, he says this:

Here's the thing though: Ace is unequivocally correct Garp should, by all rights, know this. He lived through the fallout of Roger's execution. He knew long before that exactly what would happen to Roger's loved ones and anyone the government could get their hands on who'd ever associated with him. Even before they started committing femicides/infanticides in Baterilla trying to end Roger's bloodline, he knew that the Marines were going to target completely innocent people in the name of purging the bloodline and cementing their "victory" over the greatest threat they'd ever faced. He specifically had to smuggle Rouge out of there so she could give birth to Ace, and all the while dozens of families were being brutalized by his peers and having their lives torn apart. That was the cost the Marines were willing to incur to kill a hypothetical infant, and years later, when that very same child is set to be executed, Sengoku goes on a remorseless public tirade about the necessity of killing babies and the horrible trickery and audacity Rouge displayed by dying so that they wouldn't kill her baby too.

Garp knows every single piece of this information in painful, excruciating detail. He's so horrified by it he feels the need to fulfill this wish of Roger's because he knows blameless people will die. He has Ace raised in secret to protect him from Marines who are figuratively and literally out for his blood. And yet, throughout this boy's childhood, he clings to the notion that maybe, just maybe, the people he knows regularly commit atrocities, who have carried out at least 3 genocides that we know of in Garp's lifetime, who were willing to commit mass infanticide for a woman and child they hadn't verified the existence or identity of at the time, would have accepted him within their ranks and turned a blind eye to that information when it eventually, inevitably surfaced. That Ace can find salvation from the people who stole every loved one he ever had before he was even born, who slaughtered his mother's community and pushed her to her death, and were slavering at the opportunity to kill her. That even though Ace was born in direct opposition to them, has had a target trained on him before he was born, these people who tried so goddamn hard to kill him would surely welcome his presence and not murder him the second they found out if he could just be a compliant model soldier and make himself useful. It's hammered home pretty effectively–especially in the manga– and One Piece has never been known to be subtle in its messaging, but I swear to God I see so many people echoing the notion that Garp's attempts to force his grandchildren into serving the Evil Empire was done because he knew was their only shot at safety from the WG, and I fucking despise this take. Ace saying that he could never be a marine here in Impel Down isn't some young man's rationalization for his (beyond valid) desire not to subscribe to the preset path Garp laid out for him; it's literally the only logical conclusion if you know literally anything about the circumstances of his birth and upbringing, and Garp only thinks that the leopards wouldn't eat Ace's face because he's fucking delusional This in and of itself is extremely telling of how horribly warped Garp's perception of the Navy is, and how deeply he's willing to buy into the Marines and their warped propaganda no matter how many glaring examples he sees throughout his life that counter his worldview, but let's not forget that this applies to Luffy too. This is slightly hairier, in that if Luffy was a) the sort of person who could willingly accept a career in the marines and b) managed to cling really, really tightly to his grandfather's coattails and legacy, there might have been a very, infinitesimally small chance that he could have joined the Navy. The higher ups know that Dragon is Garp's son and therefore Luffy is Dragon's by logical inference, but I could see some AU where Luffy is a fundamentally different person and manages to build himself up in the Navy if not for two things I think warrant examination. It's pretty evident, and Dragon explicitly confirms, that Luffy being known as his son would have put him in incredible danger, only feeling comfortable with acknowledging it and the possibility of actually reuniting with his child after Luffy was both publicly recognized due to factors beyond his control, and proved that he was more than capable of holding his own. But I want to draw attention to this one otherwise pretty silly little gag moment between Garp and Sengoku when they learn that Luffy's broken into Impel Down, and present a theory that's kind of a reach but also not really

Now the phrasing here kind of interests me, in that it ties back to earlier demonstrated patterns that the Navy uses repeatedly in collective punishment for the families and loved ones of their primary targets. Rouge and Ace barely escaped the mass murders intended for them because of their connection, but Tom was also originally sentenced to death for having had a connection to Roger, and ultimately chose that as the offence he wanted to be sentenced for at Enies Lobby. Law, as a child survivor of Flevance, has multiple hospitals try and turn him in to the World Government to be killed when Cora tries to find someone to treat him because their policy is to pull out the roots and salt the earth whenever they deem a person or population politically inconvenient. Robin's flashback shows us Akainu blowing up a refugee boat on the off chance that one of those people that they were planning to evacuate might have gotten past their initial screening for archaeologists/poneglyph readers. At Marineford, Akainu specifically targets Luffy not because of his prior offences or even his attempt to rescue Ace, but because he's Dragon's son and his and Roger's bloodlines need to be eradicated. This is not an institution that is in any way reluctant to destroy anyone tangentially affiliated to a designated enemy, and Luffy being the son of the worst criminal in history seems to put him right in line with all of those other cases. In light of this, and Garp's massive blind spots and wishful thinking regarding his peers and employers, it's not that much of a stretch to assume that the only reason Garp's exempt from being targeted like Dragon is because of his popularity/symbolic importance/utility, and that Luffy likely wouldn't have been safe even if he weren't a pirate. Garp's circle of confidantes/friends in high places is powerful, but clearly there are factions (Akainu, Ryokugyu etc) that would be substantially less willing and who are given preferential treatment by the Elders and Celestial Dragons. There might be something to read into based on the fact that Garp is the only known person from a D bloodline who's achieved massive success in service to the World Government and not defected from the Navy after realizing its true nature (props to Saul), and therefore he might project the fact that he's been rewarded by the system despite being a "sworn enemy of the Gods" onto his family, but that still doesn't account for the massive, delusional arrogance he displays in insisting that, despite everything–especially, especially the murders committed in pursuit of Ace, that robbed him of his birth mother and community–the Navy is the best and safest place for either of those boys. TLDR Garp not wanting his grandsons to have a bounties on their heads is one thing, but it says a lot that in spite of everything he knows, he's willing/determined to put Ace and Luffy in an environment that's extremely dangerous for them –and in Ace's case 100%, unquestionably fatal– because he's so convinced that compliance and the platonic ideals of "justice" and military service/hard work being rewarded by the system could supersede all of that.

[alllgator-blood]

We have had big shows of narinder, shamura, and kallamar angst. Heket hasn't been fully outright said but certainly implied and noticeable. What about the baby of the family

I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED ACTUALLY- I have a few comics that get into my idea for what Leshy Angst would be. They moreso tie into heket and shamura's angst as well but he's the first focus of this one specific comic I unfortunately never finished the sketches for...

I posted a few panels from this in a sketch dump a while ago, so here's the continuation of the comic I posted where leshy is flexing his incredible art skills (with a page taken out):

[this is the part where the page is taken out, and also where I'm putting a cut cause this post is super long]

This dialogue/art is all subject to change but this is the base idea! This comic takes place on the one-year anniversary of the red crown schism, and is supposed to explore all of the bishops' relations to the stages of grief. Heket is denial, Leshy is anger, Kallamar is bargaining, Shamura is depression and Narinder is acceptance (lol). Leshy is actually the only one I got the sketches done for which is why I'm happy to hear you ask about him specifically! So in short, my leshy angst is basically him running around in circles screaming WHY WON'T ANYONE TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON!! WHY ARE YOU ALL ACTING LIKE IT'S OKAY THAT MY FACE IS GONE??? because everyone still sees him as you worded it in your ask, the baby of the family. They don't want to freak him out by saying he's never gonna get his eyes back, shamura as the sibs knew them is pretty much gone, and narinder will never stop hunting them down.

I have a heket angst comic that was supposed to be my first big project, but it got put on the backburner cause I was having trouble writing for it. It's pretty much entirely about her and shamura coming to terms with the fact they're gonna die soon, and making sure the brothers don't ever find out. Leshy and heket's angst directly ties into each other, because one of them is desperate to protect the other and the one being protected does NOT want that.

This is close to the end but there's still more after this part, I have....SO MUCH to say about these comics but I probably shouldn't infodump about my ideas all at one or I'll run out of shit to talk about

[chrolloluvr]

May I request Mammon angst HCs please? Like the reader is possibly breaking up with him or something? (i love your HCs for mammon<3)

Mammon Breaking Up Hcs

note: Thank you i'm so glad you like them pookie!! also yes i love this idea ❤️❤️

warnings: Cursing, creepy behavior, unbalanced power dynamic, killing. Not proofread!

Female!Reader, (no specific gender, so can be GenderNeutral!Reader)

It would be best to tell him over text, since he is guaranteed to throw a toddler like temper tantrum if you ever told him in person.

So you text him over text, what happens? He 100% thinks you're joking at first. He thinks you aren't being serious at all, and that wow babe, you might even be a bigger clown than I am.

But when he realized that you were being serious, he gets angry. How dare you? Why would you ever break up with him? He is the king of greed, he has trillions of dollars in the bank, so why don't you want to stay by his side? Did he do something? Did he hurt you? What happened? Baby, we can sort this out-

In a way, still doesn't think you are being serious, which is what he tries to tell himself. So he will let you leave, and will act like he doesn't need you.

Another author said this already, but he will 100% go through the stages of grief, (he will never go through acceptance, because in his mind, you will always come crawling back to him.)

He will be in denial for a very long time. Let's say you move out, and even start residing in another ring. He will send you texts. All. The. Time.

Your phone will mods likely have 103 Missed Calls, 986 Messages, and 37 Voicemails. He is crazy, and especially crazy for you. So when you don't respond to him, he does not understand why. He likes to think that you were just going on vacation for a while. He genuinely thinks you two are still together.

Anger- Once he sees that you have indeed moved on, and that he is no longer living in fantasy land, he gets extremely angry. His general mood spikes, he lashes out (wayyy more than he used to), and a-lot of his servants are scared to talk to him. Will absolutely keep bombarding you with texts every day. He will even get his servants to start texting you on his 100's of extra HellPhones.

Mamm 🕸️💚 11:34

Come hone ygu little cungt

Mamm 🕸️💚 11:35

ANSWERF ME.

Mamm 🕸️💚 11:35

Do ygu knoe how easily i can replaece yu

Mamm🕸️💚 11:36

Fine go shack uo with sorm dirty hoboes you little slut

Mamm 🕸️💚 11:36

I dont kneed u and youir mediocar holes

So yeah... thats just one example. He has so many spelling mistakes because he is typing so fast, and practically brekaing his phone from how angry he is.

But in reality he does need you. You are. the one thing that keeps him running. However he will never, over his dead body, ever admit that.

Bargaining- He will send things to your... new home... in gift baskets. Fizzarolli plushies, flowers, tickets to his live events, expensive jewelry, the list goes on. It gets to a point where (if you live in an apartment complex) People start stealing his gifts and start putting them up online to sell. (And they go for 10s of thousands of dollars.)

He send these to you so that you can hopefully come crawling back into his life, so that he can control you again.

At this point, you have most likely made it public about your distance between you and the sin. Your relationship was extremely public, and known by everybody.

He refuses to speak publicly, because he wants people to think he still controls you. And when i say your relationship was big, it was definitely the most talked about relationship in all of Hell. People will go nuts about you two breaking up. Another author said this as well, but people will go crazy with the comments.

"L Mammon fumbled so bad its actually wild."

"Bros got plenty other options 💀"

"Why tf would she/they break up w/ HIM???🤰"

"Now that hes single I call dibs 🙌"

You try your best to ignore the comments, but eventually you cant, its not just online, but in real life you feel cornered as well. You might even start to reconsider your departure with him. Which is exactly where he wants you.

Depression- He spirals into somewhat of an insecure man. He strives to be better. He ups his game for his big pageants, soon to be bigger, just to impress you.

He maaaay or may not have killed people in your favor. This is known, obviously, but his obsession along with his newfound insecurity has left him no choice but to show that if you dont want to come home, he will show you its safer than anywhere else.

Overall, if you do end up coming back to him, he is overjoyed with happiness, and will take extra precautions to ensure you wont ever walk out on him and his warm embrace again.

However if you end up never wanting anything to do with him, he will be devastated, but he will force himself to get over it. He is Mammon, he truly does not need you. In reality, you were somebody he felt an unexplainable feeling to protect. He absolutely can live without you, but for some reason, he feels like he cant. If somebody were to ever bring you up, he would lash out, and make his anger everybody's problem. He may get over you after a while, but he will never fully accept the fact that you left him.

[fantasynexus]

Stages of Grief in Veilguard (Major Spoilers)

I firmly believe that the theme of Veilguard is the Five Stages of Grief and Loss and how the first five companions have their own stage that ties deeply into their individual stories.

Lucanis Dellamorte: Denial

Loss: Illario (Closest Friend) and potentially Treviso

Lucanis Dellamorte, especially a Romanced Lucanis, will tell you he's unsure if he even left the Ossuary. He's in denial that he's free, and you see him deny the 'realities' around him. Concerning the 'death' of his Grandmother. He's constantly questioning where and how she died as if he cannot believe that she is dead or the story of how she died. He also refuses to see the truth about Illario's Betrayal, at first, telling us he doesn't want to believe Illario would betray him.

Lace Harding: Anger

Loss: Varric

Lace Harding, as the game goes on, expresses a large amount of resentment and anger about what happened to Varric and the Ritual, as well as towards Solas, for obviously valid reasons. Killing Varric, The Titan's Fall, and the use of Lyrium to create the Ancient Elves. That just being the top of the list, I don't think this requires much explanation, considering we fight the 'Wrath of Stone' and Hardings Rage-filled Lyrium Double.

Davrin: Bargaining (Not the Strongest Argument)

Loss: Purpose

After Weisshaupt, Davrin consistently wonders what he did wrong and if he's even a real Grey Warden because he didn't die when slaying the Archdemon. He questions and dwells on the Gryphons being taken and if he could have done something different.

Neve Gallus: Depression

Loss: Minrathous (It gets destroyed no matter if you save it or not)

Depression forms itself in many different ways, including guilt and insomnia. Neve, feeling guilty for the Death of Rana's partner, consistently goes to their memorial to recharge their light and keeps their pendant. Neve is an apparent workaholic (Can't think about your feelings if you're drowning in work) who drinks way too much bad coffee that induces insomnia. Part of Depression is being withdrawn (Lone Wolf Archetype). Neve's Diet can also cause depression; it's a fact she mainly eats fried fish (if Lucanis Romances her). Poor Diet can worsen it or even trigger depressive episodes. Specifically Fried Foods and Caffeine.

Bellara Lutare: Acceptance

Loss: Brother

Bellara, by the time we meet her, has already accepted that her brother is dead. There's still a pain (There always will be) when talking about him, but she has accepted the loss and uses her work to honor him and continue what he wanted for the Dalish. Even when they go to honor his second death at the end of her quest line, she's already accepted that he's gone for good because she's already experienced the other stages of grief regarding him. (She also experiences them again in quick precession after finding out he's still alive)

We can also add in Emmrich and Taash for Funsies

Emmrich shows Bargaining and Depression regarding becoming a Lich, unable to let live because he's scared of dying. It's something that will inhibit him from becoming a Lich, and Depression with his lifelong dream being out of reach because of his fear.

His potential Loss: Manfred or Lichdom

Taash shows Denial, Anger, and Depression regarding their Mother. Whether it's their identity issues, relationship, or their Mothers' (and Hardings') death.

Loss: Mother and potentially Lace Harding

The Veilguard is just one giant support group talking to a therapist (Rook) who also needs a therapist.

I do think some could be switched around:

Bellara could also be Denial, Lucanis could be Depression, and Davrin could be Depression or Denial. I am open to other interpretations.

[undeadenn]

The 5 seasons of TMA represent the 5 stages of grief

I realized how much the stages of grief line up with TMA, specifically Jon’s grief over the loss of his humanity.

Season one (Denial): “It feels like I’m being watched. I… I lose myself a bit. And then when I come back, it’s like… like if I admit there may be any truth to it, whatever’s watching will… know somehow.” Jon realizes something is wrong, but instead of facing it, he pretends that everything is normal. Nothing strange is going on, it’s just crazy people with crazy stories.

Season two (Anger): “I can’t forget it. Everyone in this place has so many goddamn secrets and I can’t trust a word you say. Not about this and not about Trevor!” Jon can no longer deny that something is deeply wrong with the Archives, he just doesn’t Know what. It frustrates and scares him. He then redirects his distrust and anger and confusion towards his coworkers.

Season three (Bargaining): “Okay. What do you want?” “Oh, nothing much. Just shake my hand.” Jon makes a lot of bargains in this season, all in the pursuit of knowledge about what’s happening to him. He makes a deal with Melanie to find out what’s going in the Archives. He made a deal with Jude Perry to find out where Mike Crew is. He makes a deal with Daisy to compel Elias to tell them what he knows. He convinces Julia and Trevor to let him talk to Gerry. His desperation in finding out what going on with him causes him to get into some truly dangerous situations that he wouldn’t have otherwise been in.

Season four (Depression): “You need to stop moping.” “I what?” “You need to stop swanning around acting all sad.” “I’m not-“ “Boo hoo, I’m so alone and a monster.” (This is unironically one of my favorite scenes of the whole podcast. S4 in general is my favorite season) This season is when Jon fully comprehends that he is no longer human, and let’s just say he isn’t very happy about it.

Season 5 (Acceptance): “I wish it was, Martin. I really wish it was. But it feels��� right.” By S5, Jon has completely accepted the role of The Archivist. Sure, he’s far from happy about it, but he’s no longer trying to hold onto his humanity. He has let go of his grief over the loss of his humanity. Of Jonathan Sims.

[fushiglow]

Hi! I'm such a huge fan of your fics; you write Satoru and Suguru really beautifully, as individuals and as a unit.

I absolutely devoured JJK (anime and manga) in the span of like three weeks a couple of months ago. I've been completely obsessed ever since. I really love your meta - I totally agree with you about Gojo really caring about people, and your analysis of 236. (I also really loved 236, even though I was devastated by it. Like, sobbing while lying facedown on the floor for a full 45 minutes level of devastated lol.) I really struggled with Nanami's airport comments on Gojo, and I liked how you interpreted those comments and the airport scene overall.

In my stages of grief of processing Gojo's death - probably around the bargaining stage - I kept thinking about whether he would've lived if Geto hadn't defected from JuJutsu society. Obviously it would've been a totally different narrative, but it's still something I can't let go of. I'd be super interested to know your thoughts on that - whether there would've been a different outcome of the Shinjuku showdown if Geto had been there. (I mean, I know canonically Gojo would've fully been satisfied in his life and ending if Geto had been there, but would he have won?)

(I also understand the narrative decision to kill Gojo and think it actually makes a lot of sense, doesn't mean I can't still go through the stages of grief lol.)

Sorry for the novel of an ask - love your writing and meta!

Oh my gosh, thank you so much and don't ever apologise for sending such a lovely ask! This made my day — and super nice to see your name in my inbox again too ♥️

Really glad you enjoyed the analysis of 236 too; that chapter is incredibly dear to me. God, I could literally write an essay on 236 alone. I think it's genius on multiple levels. It really inspired me as a writer, too. That meta level commentary that spans characters and readers is something I've consciously tried to emulate as a result of that chapter!

So, I have definitely given this some thought before and it's my firm belief that Gojō would have defeated Sukuna if Getō were at his side (I think you can argue he "won" the ideological fight. It was a fight of many against one, and the many couldn't have won without Gojō!).

I don't necessarily mean physically at his side fighting alongside him, because I think as soon as Gojō had his "enlightenment" moment, he did become someone who fights best alone. However, I've already shared some thoughts about how "the strongest" was perhaps never actually about raw physical strength for Gojō but about state of mind. He felt stronger with Getō at his side, and that's the only reason I feel this certain about my answer.

Of course, all "what if?" scenarios are pointless to pursue beyond being an intriguing thought exercise. Everything would have been different if Getō was still around, but I love cataloguing each and every one of them. Whether Gojō would be a less experienced fighter in any meaningful way, whether the students could have reached the heights that they did without that specific version of Gojō teaching them — and yes, whether "The Strongest Duo" fighting side by side would actually have made defeating Sukuna (even with the Ten Shadows) look like a piece of cake.

So, my answer is mostly narrative informed. I think throughout the entirety of JJK, Gege was trying to hammer home the idea of strength in numbers by contrasting Gojō Satoru's (and Sukuna's) solitude with that of his students — thanks to his efforts to protect their youth and ensure they didn't suffer the same fate he and his classmates did.

I hope that answers your question, and thank you for asking! It's been a long time since I've received any JJK based asks like this and it's always such a treat to me. God, I love this series so much...

[gghostwriter]

Entangled Strings of Fate

Chapter 8. Time heals (almost) all wounds

Spencer Reid x Fem!Original Character

Summary: Caltech, Pasadena - Cleo considers herself a woman of logic. With an IQ of 158 and an eidetic memory, how could she not. But meeting Spencer, the boy genius to hers, had her believing in intangible theories like the invisible string and the fates. Now, if only he would notice the depth of her feelings. Set in Caltech, pre-season 1 and will progress from there. w.c: 1.9k a/n: ngl i had a hard time taking this fic off of hiatus. There were some instances where I just wanted to drop it all together but i persevered so here we are, slowly back in the game. The updates would be irregular since I’m also working on other ideas behind the scenes but hope you all still enjoy and support. Comments & reblogs are greatly appreciated! previous chapter || series masterlist || next chapter

”If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” - Frederick Douglass

Change was a peculiar thing.

If Spencer Reid was to describe it from his own experience dealing with his fight with Dilaudid, he’d liken it to the well-known ‘five stages of grief’—denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance. His progress was never a linear thing, there were days his emotion would swig back and forth within stages like some sort of pendulum. He resented it. It made him feel weak, resentful, and angry. At the world, at the people around him, and most of all at himself.

The first and second stages were denial and anger. Two emotions he regrets to know too well and deflect to others poorly. 

“Reid,” Morgan’s tone coming off harsh from restrained anger. “What was that? I just saw Cleo—” he pointed behind him towards the door. “—rush out and crying.” 

He scoffed. “Nothing. It’s nothing for you to worry about.”

“Yeah, well let’s talk about the elephant in the room then. Since when had you had those?” Morgan nodded his head in the direction of the medicine bottles left haphazardly on the coffee table.

“Since Tobias,” he shrugged nonchalantly, opting to go with a half truth and a half lie to try and throw his fellow profiler off his trail. Not that it would ever work with how tenacious Morgan was. “He must have slipped it in my pockets before his murder—”

“Murder?” Morgan picked up on his specific choice of wording. 

“—and its not like I used it.” 

A lie.

“Kid, we both know that was self defense and Cleo told me the truth, don’t like to me.”

Spencer averted his eyes, finding all the scuffles on his floor suddenly interesting. It was indeed self defense, he knew that, but Tobias didn’t deserve to be killed—not really. He wasn’t like the rest of the unsubs that they have hunted down. He was just a victim of bad fate and his own fractured mind. Inside, the real Tobias still saved him and for that he felt grateful and regretful that his way of repayment was made through by a bullet. 

“Reid, I thought you were getting better. What you went through was traumatic but this isn’t the right way to cope—drugs and pushing away probably the person who cares for you the most. This isn’t you, Reid.”

“Yeah well, maybe this is the new me, have you thought about that?” He glared at Morgan. “I don’t even know why you’re here lecturing me about keeping secrets and coping, we all their own demons locked up, don’t we? The members of the BAU aren’t really known to be the most trusting and forthcoming with our pasts. We brush the trauma all under the rug and hope it doesn’t catch up to us.”

Morgan sighed as his shoulder dropped, all the fight in him leaving. “Come talk to me when your anger has passed—” he stepped back until he was almost by the door. “—and Reid, let’s hope this isn’t the new you ‘cause if it is—” he trailed off, shaking his head.

As the soft closing of the door echoed through the apartment, Spencer felt relief. Relief in being free to do what he wanted without judgement and relief to unknowingly hit rock bottom as his trembling fingers reached for the sealed bottle of Dilaudid. 

———

The third stage was bargaining.

Spencer didn’t know how he got here. Here being the present without the two strongest pillars in his life, Cleo and Gideon. One he pushed away and the other, leaving him behind with just a letter to his name. 

The team felt incomplete. He felt incomplete. 

As a man of science, he didn’t believe in higher power or the cosmos but one late night, he found himself on the rooftop of his apartment complex, cursing the stars and bargaining for the past to come back to the present.

If the star placements that night were different, maybe the present would be too. If he had worn a different combination of socks, maybe Cleo would still be by his side. And if he had not separated from JJ, maybe he would be here—at rock bottom.

It was a place he never thought he’d be in. Did he really have 187 IQ for nothing? Was all those knowledge in his expansive brain useless in recognizing wrong decisions made? 

He sighed as he watched the sun break the horizon.

Another day powered with no sleep.

Another day of wishing things had been different.

And another day of missing the one he pushed away.

———

The fourth stage, depression, hit when he least expected it and with it, came an immense regret that threatened to pull him under it’s ravaging tides.

By definition, depression was a general emotional dejection and regret was the act of feeling sorrow. Easy to understand in wording but difficult to explain when both were cruising through his body.

If Spencer was to explain what both were beyond it’s dictionary definition, he would liken regret to a bone injury that was never reset right and depression to deep, self inflicted wound that had been picked on numerous times that caused it to scar permanently. He felt himself riddled with both—fresh and old, reminders of his inactions and wrongful judgement. The optimists would wade through it and wear their progress with pride. These so called life battle scars that lead them to a better future but he wasn’t one of them.

No, he carried his with such shame causing his shoulders to hunch further forward from the accumulated weight of his whole life’s misfortunes. The heavy, heavy weight of sorrow from not being good enough for his father to stay. Remorse from not being strong enough to carry his ailing mother’s load and having her admitted in a facility. Disappointment from choosing the easy way out of his drug addiction—lashing out and using behind closed doors. Heartache from pushing away the only person in his life that cared enough to be angry and concerned, Cleo—his constant, his number one supporter. 

A rhythmic knock on his door pulled him out from under the waves. Blanket draped over his body, Spencer sluggishly made his way to it—ignoring the hunger pains in his empty stomach. It was nothing compared to what his heart was going through.

“Spencer,” Garcia uttered as she took in the boy genius’ form in worry. 

He cleared his throat, rough from the lack of use. “Garcia, what—what are you doing here?” 

“Taking care of you since it’s obvious you’re not going to,” the tech analyst maneuvered her way through with a Tupperware on hand. She headed straight to the kitchen regardless his small protests.

Garcia worked fast in plating him soup and a slice of bread. If this were a normal evening, he’d feel grateful and enticed by the smell but this wasn’t so all he felt was an urge to retch. 

“I don’t want it,” he mumbled, shuffling further away from the source of the stench.

She sighed. “Reid, what day is it today?” 

The question threw him off a loop. What does that have to do with forcing him to eat?

“Friday. It’s just Friday.”

“It’s Sunday,” she walked closer until he was reaching distance. “I’ve been calling you and you haven’t been picking up so I took it upon myself to visit you instead. Now—” dragging him to the dining table. “—I need you to eat. Even a little bit ‘cause I know you haven’t eaten at all.”

He brought a trickle to his drying lips. It was chicken soup and if he didn’t know any better, it tasted familiar. Homemade, even.

“How is it?” Garcia asked.

“Did you make this?”

Her eyes widened before her hand waved in front of her face in jest. “What? No—no, I got it from the restaurant near my apartment.” 

That was a lie.

A lie that Spencer didn’t question. He had lied about worse things and he had no right to question where the soup really came from when he knew the answer.

From Cleo. 

Or at least it was Cleo’s recipe.

The thought of her still being part of his life, no matter how inconsequential, warmed his insides more than the chicken soup had. 

“Do you think I’m bad for taking those drugs?” 

She gave a brief pause, enough to have Spencer worry. “No. I don’t have the right to judge you on your actions but—”

“But?”

“—it’s sad that other people bore brunt of your anger, which wasn’t your fault but wasn’t your greatest moment either.”

“Do you think—” he downed the last few spoonfuls. “—she’d forgive me?” 

It was what kept him awake most nights. The thought of never being part of Cleo’s world any more than a passerby was a living nightmare he hoped to escape from. Losing her felt like he lost his own limb. It threw him off balance. It broke Earth’s gravitational pull to his self. And when he does sleep, he wakes with this fog that he never pushed her away—never hurt her like a phantom limb before he drops back down to reality.

She reached into her glittered purse, rummaging through before she found what she was looking for. “I’ve been keeping this with me since that night and I think it’s time I give it to you.”

The single piece of paper looked worn at the edges and its folds. It looked non-descriptive. It was the contents that mattered. That truly mattered.

Law Enforcement: Narcotics Anonymous

(555) 657-02149

  All hastily written in Cleo’s loopy handwriting

“Oh.”

———

The final stage, acceptance, came with a physical change in the team. A new old member was stepping up to the plate in Gideon’s place.

David Rossi.

He had been feeling like his past self for a while now. All in thanks to the support each member has extended to him. As he started his climb up from the abyss of addiction, he had realized that his team—Hotch, Morgan, JJ, Garcia, and Emily, were there to cushion his fall should be falter and as the warmth of daylight hit his face on the way up, he wondered why he decided to stay in the darkness for so long. 

Why he had to lose two pillars before realizing that this is where he belonged? That this is who Spencer Reid is—a paradox of good and bad, a person who chooses the good no matter his demons.

And although adjusting to a new BAU member would take a while, he felt optimistic that everything would turn out just right. That it was time to finally let go of self loathing and make amends to those he can, no matter what the outcome.

That was how he found himself penning a letter to the one person he hadn’t seen in months.

To the one person who mattered after his mother. 

To Cleo. 

Comments & reblogs are greatly appreciated!

[elegantsplendour]

Of Blossom and Betrayal

Summary:

AU: Green victory, the realm called for a new queen after Queen Helena's demise

Seraphina Tyrell did not belong to the worldly realm of Westeros; a lone child conceived of loyalty, love and devotion. A beacon like her attracts the darkest of souls, in the darkest of times.

💌 Aegon II Targaryen and Aemond Targaryen

Warnings: manipulation, abuse of power, mentions of rape, slight underage, dub con, violence. Specific warnings will be added at the beginnings of each chapter.

Cast

Chapter 1

Prologue: Highgarden

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Lord Lyonel Tyrell was a man of honour, loyalty and vigilance. Succeeding in remaining neutral, assuring his family’s survival and maintaining the influence of his house in one of the bloodiest war since Aegon’s Conquest, if not of all of Westerosi history, was an accomplishment that many of his position had dreamt of.

Loyalty? He laughed bitterly at the memory of the bright and confident smile on his long gone brother Bryan’s departing figure to King’s Landing to serve under Prince Daemon Targaryen.

Be loyal to no one but his family, his loved ones.

It was the code he had lived by since Bryan’s unexpected tragic demise at the hands of Rogue Prince himself, a man his poor brother, the innocent messenger sent by King Viserys, admired and sworn loyalty to, fourteen years ago.

Lyonel remembered the day the news of his demise reached his father, the former lord of Highgarden.

People sing that there were six stages of grief.

Shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

But when it came to a devoted seventy two year old father, the grief ended in the very first.

Two days later, Lyonel, the second son, whose ambitions never surpassed the allure of marrying Lady Jayne Lannister and sampling the finest wines and sugary with his beloved, inherited the legacy he had never been prepared for.

The Targaryens will always do what’s best for the Targaryens.

Those were his late father’s last words.

To survive the Targaryen rule, Lyonel played by their rules. Schemes, betrayals, deceptions and bloodshed? He did not shy away from them. He bore the burden so his family, his people, didn’t have to.

With his hands on the cold balcony, Lord of Highgarden bathed the fresh air of flowers, the peaceful chirping of insects, the giggling of young maids and the distant melodies from the small folks returning to their homes after a long day of labour.

This was his empire he defended.

One of loyalty, honour and love.

His beloved Jayne, her arms wrapped around his waist.

Seraphina, his precious jewel, his sweet little rose, the one and only fruit of his and Jayne's love's many attempts at blooming.

His Lancel, Bryan's illegitimate offspring, whom he had taken under the Tyrell bloodline, a fierce and honorable knight, a fine protector, his heir.

“Lord Ormund has written again,” Jayne rested her head on his shoulder, her golden curls soothing his skin as much as his mind, “The letter touched me, the words he’s chosen, the sincerity of his voice. He truly desires a betrothal between his first born and Seraphina.”

Jayne traced her fingers on her husband’s cheeks, “He wishes to introduce them in King’s Landing.”

“King’s Landing?” Lyonel frowned deeply, “It should be fit for them to present themselves to Highgarden, especially when Phina was the one who treated their wounded bodies in the woods, risking the slaughter of the ruthless Northerners.”

Jayne swallowed hard as she recalled the turbulent times of the war.

Although negotiations, strategies and armies kept the castle away bloodshed and dragon fire, the walls were not impenetrable to whimpers of loss and screams agony from the highborn’s well acquainted soldiers calling the Rose without Thorns to their rescue, even at the interdiction of her parents.

Every time the Rose sneaked away from safety, the Lord and Lady of Highgarden sobbed while the peasants and soldiers rejoiced. Her empathetic smile, attentiveness to their wounds and of course, the herbs and food she had carried with her ignited the flicker of hope in the darkest times.

One fateful day, Seraphina stumbled upon two injured knights bedecked in green armor, hidden in the woods—Ormund and Daryn Hightower, gasping for air, on the brink of death from the Battle of Tumbleton.

As Seraphina returned with the blood stained figures of the castle, Lyonel and Jayne’s anger and fear exacerbated.

Highgarden had remained unharmed because of its neutrality that their naive daughter had just broken.

Yet, the gods seemed to show them mercy, perhaps in honor of the lives House Tyrell defended. The Blacks remained oblivious to this act, which could be seen as a declaration of allegiance. Instead, Seraphina’s uncalculated move of benevolence eaned House Tyrell a favourable position in the new Targaryen court: an intimate alliance with the most influential house beside the new king.

As Lyonel contemplated the offer in silence, Jayne squeezed his hand, “Daryn is a handsome, brave and honourable young man. I recognized the look on his face when Seraphina brought him back from the wild,” she pressed a kiss on cheek, “It’s the same way you looked at me years ago, lord husband.”

Lyonel’s gaze softened as he enveloped his wife into his arms with a light chuckle, “Your jest on formality never cease, my love. If the young Hightower truly feels the same about our daughter as I did to you twenty five years ago,” he cupped her cheeks, “Then, perhaps, that boy deserves her hand.”

Jayne held her husband tightly, relishing his scent and warmth. In a world cruel as this, she thanked to the gods everyday for granting her a man of his devotion, wisdom and strength.

“To King’s Landing then?”

“To King’s Landing,” Lyonel nodded before rolling his eyes, his never dying youthful side emerging, “Where the drunken king will be holding a foolish lavish pageant while his people starve. Seven bless the poor girl he will choose as the new queen.”

Jayne laughed wholeheartedly before tending to his arm, returning to the warmth of the interior, “You know, fate favoured us immensely,” she whispered with a mixture of gratitude and anxiety, “If we had agreed to the Kinslayer’s proposal in marriage-“

Lyonel suddenly gripped the touch of her hand, “Thank the wisdom my father and brother had bestowed me. Never trust a Targaryen. The rumours of…” disturbance and disgust written all over his face, “Lady, now a Princess, Cassandra Baratheon’s screams of pain echoed through the Red Keep on her wedding night. I cannot imagine-“

He buried his face in his hands as he sat down with his wife next to the fireplace.

Jayne brushed his hair with adoration, “Don’t overthink about the past, my love. Phina is about to marry a good man.”

The lord smiled as he lifted his head to face his beloved, “Everything I risked, I fought for, it was worth it. For you, for her, for Lancel, and for our people.”

Jayne kissed him passionately before whispering, “You are too good for this world, Lyonel Tyrell.”

As the stars gracefully pirouetted around the moon in the embrace of the night's darkness, and with the imminent date of embarking on the journey to King's Landing drawing near, the wheel of fate began its inevitable revolution once more.

[distant-screaming]

dragging this out of my drafts in celebration of the final saga which reasserted my idea, so I present to you my take on epic + a reflection through the stages of grief! if anyone has a different take or wants to add something please feel free to do so, I would love to hear your opinions!

so. the stages of grief is considered to have seven main stages: denial/shock, pain/guilt, anger/bargaining, depression, upward turn, reconstruction/working through, and acceptance. I think as epic the musical progresses through its sagas, it works through the stages of grief in a really interesting way.

stage 1 is denial and shock, which fits in with troy saga and cyclops saga. in troy, we see the denial + shock very clearly in just a man (+ the last section of the horse and the infant). cyclops saga is also much of the same - the denial and the incredibly impactful shock of his comrades and specifically polites' death that literally shows up to make sure he's still traumatized every saga. cyclops saga also kind of bleeds into the next stage!

stage 2 is pain and guilt, which we can attach to the saga odysseus loses the most number of men, that is, ocean saga! this is also associated with guilt because the death of his crew is directly related to odysseus' decision to open arms style let polyphemus live.

stage number 3, anger and bargaining, has the most sagas attached to it - circe, underworld, and thunder. circe is very clearly bargaining, as he does exactly that with circe to let his men go. underworld is a mix of both anger and bargaining, as he bargains with tiresias and himself, and eventually uses his anger to fuel his decision to accept becoming a monster. thunder saga fully centers on anger, ruthlessly killing the sirens and sacrificing his men to scylla. there's also an element of bargaining, though, in both mutiny and thunder bringer, as he bargains with his crew and with zeus respectively.

stage number 4, the most fun (lie), depression! this stage parallels wisdom saga for multiple reasons. firstly, on calypso's island odysseus really is at his lowest, emotionally speaking, tormented and desperate and, yeah, pretty depressed. also, something interesting is that this is the first saga where we pull away from odysseus' pov, which fits because a depressed odysseus is not going to be up to lead an entire saga.

stage 5, at long last, is the upward turn - that is, vengeance saga! after seven years of apparently no way to escape, he gets a chance, an opportunity! and he's immediately met with hermes - odysseus isn't alone! also, he finally defeats the most prominent godly opponent, poseidon, and in some vague way gets a tiny bit of closure from the people he's been haunted by so far (it's definitely not a complete fix, but it's a step!).

and finally, ithaca saga is stage 6 (reconstruction and working through), and touches on stage 7 (acceptance and hope). odysseus spends the saga reconstructing his place as ithaca's king by getting rid of the suitors and reasserting himself as the most powerful. he also (re)constructs his relationship with telemachus, athena, and penelope. he works through (inasmuch as he can in two songs) the issues in their relationships. these last two songs also touch on acceptance (as telemachus' father, penelope's husband - both as this new odysseus, not the one who left 20 years ago) and hope, but I think the majority of this stage takes place post musical.

[nectarine-neuroticism]

SEVERANCE TALK

Need to talk about Severance, BAD. I watched it first with my mom back in Feb/March 2022. I have said before that I will never EVER forget about how that finale felt (me pounding my fist on the ground). God, it has really been THREE YEARS. I'M SICK. Anyways, watched first episode last week with my mom and my roommate (separate occasions), and I just want to put down some thoughts that have been rattling around in my brain for a while.

Pre-S2 Thoughts

Just some things I accept in my mind from the first season (before watching S2E1):

- Mark & Gemma were coworkers to lovers, their big professor brains, and their love was too powerful for the world (Lumon took her ass out).

- Ms. Casey (aka Gemma) behaves so bizarrely because she has limited "awake" time; often getting experimented on down on the testing floor. She has minimal experience as an innie and she is just one of many test subjects Lumon utilizes because people who are presumed dead, missing, or whatever else/poor/homeless/what-have-you "won't be missed." I don't know if they took advantage of her situation and utilized the crash to their advantage, staged a crash, or wanted to get Gemma specifically (because she was also really smart). IDK. Maybe she even signed up for something (inspired by connections at the university), and got more than what she bargained for.

- Irving's dog, Radar, is inspired by Radar from M*A*S*H. He COULD be a service dog. I don't know if Irving was a veteran, following in his dad's footsteps. He could have gotten severed due to PTSD (we have no idea what wars have went on during this alternate timeline that the Eagans have ruled since the 1800s).

- Irving is reintegrated (maybe unintentionally) explains the zoning and drifting/goo/whatever. His Outie constantly paints (what we learned to be) the testing floor. OBSESSIVELY, which implies he has been down there. He is trying to figure out what's going on down there bc he was either suspicious of Lumon from the get-go, or experience symptoms (related to possible reintegration or a failed integration) and was probably being gaslit by medical professionals.

- HOWWWW does he know so many severed workers? Was Irving a part of a group of people intending to infiltrate Lumon to some degree? (I'm realizing a lot of these are about Irving, but it was mainly because we had the knowledge that Dylan had a family, we knew Mark's story, and we realized Helly was Helena Eagan. We only had Radar and tangible things to tell Irving's story, he was alone).

- Helena Eagan could've definitely been groomed to fit the position. She might be the nasty bitch she was painted to be (from Helly's perspective) (and our perspective, honestly, "I am a person, you are not" eeueugh)), she might not be a believer of what she was sharing to the public. She might have doubts. Her dad is such a creep omg. Her body and soul easily could have been molded to fit atop the throne, and her skull carved to support the crown (I don't know what the fuck I'm saying). Some monsters are made, but some... who knows, some aren't monsters at all.

- We all know why Mark got severed, and we know Petey's severance was inspired by his divorce + strained relationship with his daughter (or at least that's what the show seemed to imply TO ME)... Helena's could have been out of obligation, Irving's could have been due to PTSD/grief/pursuit of knowledge/infiltration... but what about Dylan? He has a family, but does he have a spouse? Is he a caregiver? Was it hardship that pushed him to this job? I think it has been shown to us that most people who were led to this job (at least severed positions) due to pure desperation, or potentially manipulation. Were there any aspects of Dylan's life that were darker/pushed him to this? His Innie things the world is a shitshow up there, and the numbers are... eels??? (Idr what his ass said fr), but he also thinks he's got yachts and bitches for days. Obviously, not all of that is factual, but maybe he was pursuing the job as a promotion (already working for Lumon) and just thought it seemed "sick as fuck" and more efficient.

- Thinking of trans folks... idk how to put this into words, but imagining the transference of dysphoria and not having the words or material to understand it - in the same way grief seems to transfer. "You feel it down there too," thank you, Petey... that's devastating. Is there any room for exploring that? Does this make sense? If your feelings aren't spatially deviated – your wants and needs – repression or avoidance does nothing. Anyone (if this is even read by another person) feel free to add to this, or direct me to someone who HAS talked about this. I'm... unable to articulate what I'm saying, or even figure out what I'm asking. But there is definitely avenues to touch on here.

- This also brings me to pregnancy. We know about the senator's wife who got severed just to give birth (horrifying), and we heard about the Innie relationship drama/affairs that was on the news Mark clicked past. Regardless of where conception occurs, the body will carry that everywhere regardless of the mind's deviation. Are there clauses that prohibit Outies from getting pregnant while working on the job? Are they granted maternity leave the moment they start experiencing symptoms (so their Innies don't experience that), or do they make them work through it knowing that no matter what happens - they have no control over what is growing inside them? This is horrible and making me shudder, but it's definitely a twisted question I have. It would be cruel for the Innies to know this, to experience this, then to live without knowing. Just a vessel for something they cannot understand beyond those walls.

- How many departments are there??? Goats??? Purple rooms??? Is Lumon global? Are there "Lumon towns" in the way there are coal mining towns? (Thinking of the subsidized housing)

- Girl scouts, boy scouts... Kier scouts. What the fuck was on Harmony Cobel/Selvig's wall? Is this a societal thing? People being raised in community-based things instead of cult... stuff? Because it isn't like the Lumon principles are universal (people protest it, it's newer technological advances the company has made) ... idk, I think I'm losing myself in this. I think I should stop on reflections I've drafted in relation to S1.

So, NOW.... reflections post-S2E1.

Episode One Thoughts, Pre-Episode Two

- Ahhhhhhhh. An episode all on the inside was so fascinating. No intro credits, so I'm wondering if the second season will bring us a new animation? Because there was no sequence in the first episode of the first season. Who knows? Either way, I'm excited. Theodore Shapiro is a phenomenal composer.

- What the fuck is going on with Miss Huang? Is she just there to be disarming to the employees? Are they THAT short staffed? That kid is eight years old LMAO. WAIT- AS I WAS TYPING THIS.... KIER SCOUT. Jk jk, it's not that deep (or is it?). Is this just a daughter of an employee, a kid getting extra credit, a test to push an employee into remembering something—like how Cobel/Selvig (wtf is her real name... is it Selvig?) brought in that candle Gemma made in hopes of triggering some kind of olfactory reaction from Mark (freak). IDK. I don't understand where the kid came from. Mark made my blood run cold, I thought he was gonna chuck the ball at that kid... he's gonna crack soon. Like, Dylan-level BITING. (He still doesn't know his best friend is dead)

- Additional new characters: Mark W is funny as fuck actually. Thank you for saying Milkshake. Hello, Maeby (Arrested Development)... get tired of the family? Why the random Italian guy? Where were his subtitles? Did anyone understand what bro was saying??? Where did they go?! So sad how they asked "how the sky was" ..... the wind. Devastating.

- I wasn't sure if Helly was gonna tell them the truth once they got together. Because how do you say, hi... I am behind this evil corporate scheme. And the way she did it, I almost wondered if they sent Helena IN. To gather intel. But as the episode progressed, I don't think Helena knows Helly well enough to even do that - and her charms kind of came out as it went on. So I think it is truly Helly.

- Irving was truly devastating this episode. Girl is at his wits end over the most painful situationship ever, first love heartbreak vibes (my current life situation).

- People say they saw crazy tension between them, and yeah, it was raw unbridled emotion. However, I don't see what ppl are seeing. Irving was devastated and effectively planning to end life as he knew it, and Dylan was talking him down. I guess yall can read it as romance, but I know gay when I see it and I say that it wasn't. Homies can kiss homies, but it wasn't beyond that. It was just a very charged moment. I loved it.

- That claymation video was giving peak corporate horror. And Moral Orel vibes.

- The newspaper was SOOOO fucking redacted, with no date (obviously), and the picture looked fake as fuck. Just an edited version of their office picture into a car that doesn't look like it is from the same timeline all the other vehicles are in. If anyone has more insight on that, feel free to provide it. I tried to take a screenshot and image grab it to see, but it wasn't working.

- I think it was fascinating to see ONLY Innies perspectives. We didn't get a single fucking peep of the aftermath from things on the outside and how that went down, how everyone reacted. I wasn't expecting that at all for the first episode, but I think it was a wonderful choice.

-Obsessed with how they blatantly called Cobel/Selvig a freak. Wanted to pursue a throuple. SHE IS SUCH A PERVERTTT, I KNOW IT IN MY SOUL. SHE'S A FREAK. However, they are using any ill intent that Lumon enacted as material to use her as a scapegoat. Like, that trickles down. It wasn't JUST her. Milchick, you treated them like animals because you COULD.

- What the fuck happened at the end of the episode... is GEMMA doing the testing? Idek what to think, I'm sick. I don't want to entertain that. Idk wtf they're doing. Genetic sequencing, cloning, whatever!!! WhatEVER. I have no idea what to expect.

- And lastly, because my brain is tired... they all went back to their desks. Severance reform my ass... the best way to tame a prisoner is to make him believe he is free. Or whatever.

[drifting-pieces-blog-blog]

Jed MacKay you are a GENIUS.

New Moon Knight out today (no major spoilers, I promise).

Moon Knight is dead. GENERALLY there are five issues in every collected trade. We're on issue three and I just figured out what he's doing. Maybe I'm a little slow and this has already been discussed somewhere, but give me this moment.

MacKay has already noted that he is going to be addressing each member of the Midnight Mission in each issue over the loss of Marc. Each issue is named after who is reflecting over their relationship and the loss of Marc. What I didn't realize?

Issue one: Reese

Issue Two: Tigra

Issue Three: Soldier (We are currently here 03/20/24)

Issue Four: Hunter's Moon

If you've been reading the issues as they come out you might have noticed each character is dealing with the loss of Marc in their own way. Reese is convinced he's going to come back. Tigra is enraged and wants revenge and violence. Soldier believes he should have been the one to die and (ITTY BITTY SPOILER) is negotiating with people to stop the pretend Moon Knight. MacKay has already noted in an interview that Badr is sad about the loss of another Fist of Khonshu and that he could be the last Fist of Khonshu without the ability to make more.

Huh. Those are some pretty strong emotions. Wait a minute. What are the five stages of grief?

Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. ......But wait a minute... Who's getting the last issue? Who is getting number 5? The most important stage of grief? Who is getting Acceptance?

Here's the real kicker.

I don't think we are getting Acceptance.

You see, a big event is brewing at Marvel. A Marvel Event. This means a huge upheaval in all the comics is about to happen and all side comics are going to have to do tie in responses to the event. But this event has been sneaking into the Moon Knight main plot for some time now.

Ever heard of Blade?

Blade was a HUGE deal back in the day. And since Marvel has Been introducing and reintroducing the comics to the big screen. Blade had his run back in the day, but old fans have been begging for Blade to get rebooted for some time.

And they brought him back to the comics. Specifically... They introduced him into Moon Knight comics when he trained Reese. And then they have been having Vampire plot points for ages.

There's a new event happening called Blood Hunt and Issue 5 and 6 are a direct response to this event. And while it fits in with the plot, there is no direct title name like the other four.

So where is the Acceptance? A run isn't 7 issues long. It's rare to get 6. So either this is a break and a side step to deal with the event and we'll get back to the main plot of figuring out the new Moon Knight identity in issue 7, which would actually be the issue 5 conclusion....

Or....

Who needs Acceptance when the one we grieve isn't dead?

[forrestorrest]

i think mark bringing up the stages of grief this episode, specifically bargaining, is proof that he and gemma arent gonna work out and walk out of lumon a happy couple. hes like "but i actually get my dead wife back 😁" no way in hell. either he doesnt get her back orpheus and eurydice and has to deal with grief or he does get her back and shes still dead somehow. i simply cannot believe its gonna end like And Then Mark's Secret Wish Is Granted And The Only Inevitable And Permanent Thing That Can Happen To A Person Is Reversed And The Original Grief/Death Has Not Changed The World Or Characters At All!

[iwanthermidnightz]

I can’t believe (but also can) that she really went there with the 5 stages of grief thing that a bunch of us lgbettys have been talking about on the internet because it’s so relatable to the universal queer experience™️ and even put her own songs in each category that describes those specific feelings.

denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance… and in that order