#grief (bargaining stage specifically)

[namelessprayers]

lu guang could never understand what made a tragedy so much more superior when crafted with a romance. that always seemed so superficially dictated by society, so obviously manufactured by the world's overwhelming obsession with love.

then, when cheng xiaoshi kissed him, it was like something snapped.

because cheng xiaoshi kissed like it wasn't their first time. cheng xiaoshi kissed like they had all the time in the world. cheng xiaoshi kissed like he wasn't the dead man which lu guang would risk the world to keep alive. they kissed as though time was not of the essence, as if they could somehow transcend it.

and it was tender, and right, and troubling. so troubling.

because he wasn't ignorant, and when they broke apart for air, lu guang could only clutch desperately at cheng xiaoshi's shirt and bow his head down, refusing to look him in the eye. to pass it off casually, he nuzzled his face into cheng xiaoshi's neck, hardly able to stand upright without holding on like this might all evaporate into a dream.

"awh, you really are like a cat." cooed cheng xiaoshi, naive, blissful, all too familiarly and achingly genuine. how sweet, lu guang couldn't help but say to himself.

but it didn't feel as sweet as it looked, because all lu guang could attempt was to not imagine cheng xiaoshi with blood on his chest. lu guang belatedly realized, now he wouldn't just remember everything else about cheng xiaoshi, but also how he tasted and smelled on top of it all. it was a harrowing thought.

and additionally, it seemed apparent that this was a big change. it was a problem big enough to possibly make or break the timeline.

"hey-" started cheng xiaoshi, only to be cut off by lu guang pulling him back in for another kiss. he decided that the timeline was a problem for another day, and secretly, lu guang was hoping that this timeline would be different in a better way. improved, perhaps.

he thought, stupidly, that love could somehow be enough.

then, when cheng xiaoshi died, streaking lu guang's hands in a far too familiar shade of red, another thing snapped.

it became apparent that they weren't getting any time.

lu guang's jumps became less of a dull pain that simply needed to see cheng xiaoshi and live through their friendship again, it became something feral, something carnally desperate. he wasn't sure how to live without getting fifty or more years of this; this, being cheng xiaoshi looking at him that way, kissing him that way, knowing lu guang without the imminent end looming overhead.

and it wasn't fair. yet inexplicably, lu guang began less drained each time, instead becoming somewhat reinvigorated each return, each reignition of what he sought so hard to maintain.

but it was futile, a matter of time, and they were running out.

lu guang could tell, with every shift that got further and further as well as closer and closer, time was mocking them.

because he could see them lasting. he could easily imagine them eighty years old, changed but still the same, stubbornly holding onto the habits of their youth and each other.

he knows cheng xiaoshi would still drag him to pose for a needless amount of photos and hang the pictures everywhere around their living space. he knows cheng xiaoshi would still buy him elaborately childish cat themed apparel and he'd still wear it because it's comfy despite looking ridiculous. he knows cheng xiaoshi would still order his milk tea with the ever consistent levels of sugar and ice.

it especially hurts, because instead of having memories of repetitive routine in old age, lu guang is intimately stuck with the feeling of cheng xiaoshi dying in his arms, bleeding out, taking a final breathe, over and over again.

so he tries, claps and dives back to the beginning without hesitation, any attempt to salvage what feels natural, what feels right. lu guang can't stop time, but he'll live forever if it's the only alternative.

and though the love enhances the pain of loss, it also enhances the joy of living, and lu guang finally understands the value of a tragic love story; in every scream and every timeline and unavoidable death and slightly reiterated kiss. lu guang just has to let it linger, end and all, hoping that one day it'll finally pay off somehow.

[mars-ipan]

damn... charlie's a good ass actor

[eroguron0nsense]

Garp Rant #11543

Because I'm something of a Certified Garp Hater/extremely obsessed with this man, and because Tumblr people seem to like my Garp takes and/or find them extremely pain-inducing, here's another one for funsies! Again, Garp is an incredibly written character and I massively enjoy his moral failings and human shortcomings, hence why I won't shut up about how much he sucks. So we all remember Garp crying in front of Ace during his imprisonment and awaiting his execution, lamenting the fact that his son and grandson could have maybe avoided this horrible horrible fate that awaits them at Marineford if they'd just become good marines like he'd tried to press them into. Every time he says it, he sounds more desperate, sadder, and angrier, like he's experiencing the stages of grief and going through denial, anger bargaining all at once, lashing out at his grandkids for supposedly causing him grief by defying his wishes, or maybe praying or wishing for a world where they could have followed in his footsteps and lived happily ever after. And when Ace hears that again at Impel Down, he says this:

Here's the thing though: Ace is unequivocally correct Garp should, by all rights, know this. He lived through the fallout of Roger's execution. He knew long before that exactly what would happen to Roger's loved ones and anyone the government could get their hands on who'd ever associated with him. Even before they started committing femicides/infanticides in Baterilla trying to end Roger's bloodline, he knew that the Marines were going to target completely innocent people in the name of purging the bloodline and cementing their "victory" over the greatest threat they'd ever faced. He specifically had to smuggle Rouge out of there so she could give birth to Ace, and all the while dozens of families were being brutalized by his peers and having their lives torn apart. That was the cost the Marines were willing to incur to kill a hypothetical infant, and years later, when that very same child is set to be executed, Sengoku goes on a remorseless public tirade about the necessity of killing babies and the horrible trickery and audacity Rouge displayed by dying so that they wouldn't kill her baby too.

Garp knows every single piece of this information in painful, excruciating detail. He's so horrified by it he feels the need to fulfill this wish of Roger's because he knows blameless people will die. He has Ace raised in secret to protect him from Marines who are figuratively and literally out for his blood. And yet, throughout this boy's childhood, he clings to the notion that maybe, just maybe, the people he knows regularly commit atrocities, who have carried out at least 3 genocides that we know of in Garp's lifetime, who were willing to commit mass infanticide for a woman and child they hadn't verified the existence or identity of at the time, would have accepted him within their ranks and turned a blind eye to that information when it eventually, inevitably surfaced. That Ace can find salvation from the people who stole every loved one he ever had before he was even born, who slaughtered his mother's community and pushed her to her death, and were slavering at the opportunity to kill her. That even though Ace was born in direct opposition to them, has had a target trained on him before he was born, these people who tried so goddamn hard to kill him would surely welcome his presence and not murder him the second they found out if he could just be a compliant model soldier and make himself useful. It's hammered home pretty effectively–especially in the manga– and One Piece has never been known to be subtle in its messaging, but I swear to God I see so many people echoing the notion that Garp's attempts to force his grandchildren into serving the Evil Empire was done because he knew was their only shot at safety from the WG, and I fucking despise this take. Ace saying that he could never be a marine here in Impel Down isn't some young man's rationalization for his (beyond valid) desire not to subscribe to the preset path Garp laid out for him; it's literally the only logical conclusion if you know literally anything about the circumstances of his birth and upbringing, and Garp only thinks that the leopards wouldn't eat Ace's face because he's fucking delusional This in and of itself is extremely telling of how horribly warped Garp's perception of the Navy is, and how deeply he's willing to buy into the Marines and their warped propaganda no matter how many glaring examples he sees throughout his life that counter his worldview, but let's not forget that this applies to Luffy too. This is slightly hairier, in that if Luffy was a) the sort of person who could willingly accept a career in the marines and b) managed to cling really, really tightly to his grandfather's coattails and legacy, there might have been a very, infinitesimally small chance that he could have joined the Navy. The higher ups know that Dragon is Garp's son and therefore Luffy is Dragon's by logical inference, but I could see some AU where Luffy is a fundamentally different person and manages to build himself up in the Navy if not for two things I think warrant examination. It's pretty evident, and Dragon explicitly confirms, that Luffy being known as his son would have put him in incredible danger, only feeling comfortable with acknowledging it and the possibility of actually reuniting with his child after Luffy was both publicly recognized due to factors beyond his control, and proved that he was more than capable of holding his own. But I want to draw attention to this one otherwise pretty silly little gag moment between Garp and Sengoku when they learn that Luffy's broken into Impel Down, and present a theory that's kind of a reach but also not really

Now the phrasing here kind of interests me, in that it ties back to earlier demonstrated patterns that the Navy uses repeatedly in collective punishment for the families and loved ones of their primary targets. Rouge and Ace barely escaped the mass murders intended for them because of their connection, but Tom was also originally sentenced to death for having had a connection to Roger, and ultimately chose that as the offence he wanted to be sentenced for at Enies Lobby. Law, as a child survivor of Flevance, has multiple hospitals try and turn him in to the World Government to be killed when Cora tries to find someone to treat him because their policy is to pull out the roots and salt the earth whenever they deem a person or population politically inconvenient. Robin's flashback shows us Akainu blowing up a refugee boat on the off chance that one of those people that they were planning to evacuate might have gotten past their initial screening for archaeologists/poneglyph readers. At Marineford, Akainu specifically targets Luffy not because of his prior offences or even his attempt to rescue Ace, but because he's Dragon's son and his and Roger's bloodlines need to be eradicated. This is not an institution that is in any way reluctant to destroy anyone tangentially affiliated to a designated enemy, and Luffy being the son of the worst criminal in history seems to put him right in line with all of those other cases. In light of this, and Garp's massive blind spots and wishful thinking regarding his peers and employers, it's not that much of a stretch to assume that the only reason Garp's exempt from being targeted like Dragon is because of his popularity/symbolic importance/utility, and that Luffy likely wouldn't have been safe even if he weren't a pirate. Garp's circle of confidantes/friends in high places is powerful, but clearly there are factions (Akainu, Ryokugyu etc) that would be substantially less willing and who are given preferential treatment by the Elders and Celestial Dragons. There might be something to read into based on the fact that Garp is the only known person from a D bloodline who's achieved massive success in service to the World Government and not defected from the Navy after realizing its true nature (props to Saul), and therefore he might project the fact that he's been rewarded by the system despite being a "sworn enemy of the Gods" onto his family, but that still doesn't account for the massive, delusional arrogance he displays in insisting that, despite everything–especially, especially the murders committed in pursuit of Ace, that robbed him of his birth mother and community–the Navy is the best and safest place for either of those boys. TLDR Garp not wanting his grandsons to have a bounties on their heads is one thing, but it says a lot that in spite of everything he knows, he's willing/determined to put Ace and Luffy in an environment that's extremely dangerous for them –and in Ace's case 100%, unquestionably fatal– because he's so convinced that compliance and the platonic ideals of "justice" and military service/hard work being rewarded by the system could supersede all of that.

[alllgator-blood]

We have had big shows of narinder, shamura, and kallamar angst. Heket hasn't been fully outright said but certainly implied and noticeable. What about the baby of the family

I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED ACTUALLY- I have a few comics that get into my idea for what Leshy Angst would be. They moreso tie into heket and shamura's angst as well but he's the first focus of this one specific comic I unfortunately never finished the sketches for...

I posted a few panels from this in a sketch dump a while ago, so here's the continuation of the comic I posted where leshy is flexing his incredible art skills (with a page taken out):

[this is the part where the page is taken out, and also where I'm putting a cut cause this post is super long]

This dialogue/art is all subject to change but this is the base idea! This comic takes place on the one-year anniversary of the red crown schism, and is supposed to explore all of the bishops' relations to the stages of grief. Heket is denial, Leshy is anger, Kallamar is bargaining, Shamura is depression and Narinder is acceptance (lol). Leshy is actually the only one I got the sketches done for which is why I'm happy to hear you ask about him specifically! So in short, my leshy angst is basically him running around in circles screaming WHY WON'T ANYONE TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON!! WHY ARE YOU ALL ACTING LIKE IT'S OKAY THAT MY FACE IS GONE??? because everyone still sees him as you worded it in your ask, the baby of the family. They don't want to freak him out by saying he's never gonna get his eyes back, shamura as the sibs knew them is pretty much gone, and narinder will never stop hunting them down.

I have a heket angst comic that was supposed to be my first big project, but it got put on the backburner cause I was having trouble writing for it. It's pretty much entirely about her and shamura coming to terms with the fact they're gonna die soon, and making sure the brothers don't ever find out. Leshy and heket's angst directly ties into each other, because one of them is desperate to protect the other and the one being protected does NOT want that.

This is close to the end but there's still more after this part, I have....SO MUCH to say about these comics but I probably shouldn't infodump about my ideas all at one or I'll run out of shit to talk about

[chrolloluvr]

May I request Mammon angst HCs please? Like the reader is possibly breaking up with him or something? (i love your HCs for mammon<3)

Mammon Breaking Up Hcs

note: Thank you i'm so glad you like them pookie!! also yes i love this idea ❤️❤️

warnings: Cursing, creepy behavior, unbalanced power dynamic, killing. Not proofread!

Female!Reader, (no specific gender, so can be GenderNeutral!Reader)

It would be best to tell him over text, since he is guaranteed to throw a toddler like temper tantrum if you ever told him in person.

So you text him over text, what happens? He 100% thinks you're joking at first. He thinks you aren't being serious at all, and that wow babe, you might even be a bigger clown than I am.

But when he realized that you were being serious, he gets angry. How dare you? Why would you ever break up with him? He is the king of greed, he has trillions of dollars in the bank, so why don't you want to stay by his side? Did he do something? Did he hurt you? What happened? Baby, we can sort this out-

In a way, still doesn't think you are being serious, which is what he tries to tell himself. So he will let you leave, and will act like he doesn't need you.

Another author said this already, but he will 100% go through the stages of grief, (he will never go through acceptance, because in his mind, you will always come crawling back to him.)

He will be in denial for a very long time. Let's say you move out, and even start residing in another ring. He will send you texts. All. The. Time.

Your phone will mods likely have 103 Missed Calls, 986 Messages, and 37 Voicemails. He is crazy, and especially crazy for you. So when you don't respond to him, he does not understand why. He likes to think that you were just going on vacation for a while. He genuinely thinks you two are still together.

Anger- Once he sees that you have indeed moved on, and that he is no longer living in fantasy land, he gets extremely angry. His general mood spikes, he lashes out (wayyy more than he used to), and a-lot of his servants are scared to talk to him. Will absolutely keep bombarding you with texts every day. He will even get his servants to start texting you on his 100's of extra HellPhones.

Mamm 🕸️💚 11:34

Come hone ygu little cungt

Mamm 🕸️💚 11:35

ANSWERF ME.

Mamm 🕸️💚 11:35

Do ygu knoe how easily i can replaece yu

Mamm🕸️💚 11:36

Fine go shack uo with sorm dirty hoboes you little slut

Mamm 🕸️💚 11:36

I dont kneed u and youir mediocar holes

So yeah... thats just one example. He has so many spelling mistakes because he is typing so fast, and practically brekaing his phone from how angry he is.

But in reality he does need you. You are. the one thing that keeps him running. However he will never, over his dead body, ever admit that.

Bargaining- He will send things to your... new home... in gift baskets. Fizzarolli plushies, flowers, tickets to his live events, expensive jewelry, the list goes on. It gets to a point where (if you live in an apartment complex) People start stealing his gifts and start putting them up online to sell. (And they go for 10s of thousands of dollars.)

He send these to you so that you can hopefully come crawling back into his life, so that he can control you again.

At this point, you have most likely made it public about your distance between you and the sin. Your relationship was extremely public, and known by everybody.

He refuses to speak publicly, because he wants people to think he still controls you. And when i say your relationship was big, it was definitely the most talked about relationship in all of Hell. People will go nuts about you two breaking up. Another author said this as well, but people will go crazy with the comments.

"L Mammon fumbled so bad its actually wild."

"Bros got plenty other options 💀"

"Why tf would she/they break up w/ HIM???🤰"

"Now that hes single I call dibs 🙌"

You try your best to ignore the comments, but eventually you cant, its not just online, but in real life you feel cornered as well. You might even start to reconsider your departure with him. Which is exactly where he wants you.

Depression- He spirals into somewhat of an insecure man. He strives to be better. He ups his game for his big pageants, soon to be bigger, just to impress you.

He maaaay or may not have killed people in your favor. This is known, obviously, but his obsession along with his newfound insecurity has left him no choice but to show that if you dont want to come home, he will show you its safer than anywhere else.

Overall, if you do end up coming back to him, he is overjoyed with happiness, and will take extra precautions to ensure you wont ever walk out on him and his warm embrace again.

However if you end up never wanting anything to do with him, he will be devastated, but he will force himself to get over it. He is Mammon, he truly does not need you. In reality, you were somebody he felt an unexplainable feeling to protect. He absolutely can live without you, but for some reason, he feels like he cant. If somebody were to ever bring you up, he would lash out, and make his anger everybody's problem. He may get over you after a while, but he will never fully accept the fact that you left him.

[fushiglow]

Hi! I'm such a huge fan of your fics; you write Satoru and Suguru really beautifully, as individuals and as a unit.

I absolutely devoured JJK (anime and manga) in the span of like three weeks a couple of months ago. I've been completely obsessed ever since. I really love your meta - I totally agree with you about Gojo really caring about people, and your analysis of 236. (I also really loved 236, even though I was devastated by it. Like, sobbing while lying facedown on the floor for a full 45 minutes level of devastated lol.) I really struggled with Nanami's airport comments on Gojo, and I liked how you interpreted those comments and the airport scene overall.

In my stages of grief of processing Gojo's death - probably around the bargaining stage - I kept thinking about whether he would've lived if Geto hadn't defected from JuJutsu society. Obviously it would've been a totally different narrative, but it's still something I can't let go of. I'd be super interested to know your thoughts on that - whether there would've been a different outcome of the Shinjuku showdown if Geto had been there. (I mean, I know canonically Gojo would've fully been satisfied in his life and ending if Geto had been there, but would he have won?)

(I also understand the narrative decision to kill Gojo and think it actually makes a lot of sense, doesn't mean I can't still go through the stages of grief lol.)

Sorry for the novel of an ask - love your writing and meta!

Oh my gosh, thank you so much and don't ever apologise for sending such a lovely ask! This made my day — and super nice to see your name in my inbox again too ♥️

Really glad you enjoyed the analysis of 236 too; that chapter is incredibly dear to me. God, I could literally write an essay on 236 alone. I think it's genius on multiple levels. It really inspired me as a writer, too. That meta level commentary that spans characters and readers is something I've consciously tried to emulate as a result of that chapter!

So, I have definitely given this some thought before and it's my firm belief that Gojō would have defeated Sukuna if Getō were at his side (I think you can argue he "won" the ideological fight. It was a fight of many against one, and the many couldn't have won without Gojō!).

I don't necessarily mean physically at his side fighting alongside him, because I think as soon as Gojō had his "enlightenment" moment, he did become someone who fights best alone. However, I've already shared some thoughts about how "the strongest" was perhaps never actually about raw physical strength for Gojō but about state of mind. He felt stronger with Getō at his side, and that's the only reason I feel this certain about my answer.

Of course, all "what if?" scenarios are pointless to pursue beyond being an intriguing thought exercise. Everything would have been different if Getō was still around, but I love cataloguing each and every one of them. Whether Gojō would be a less experienced fighter in any meaningful way, whether the students could have reached the heights that they did without that specific version of Gojō teaching them — and yes, whether "The Strongest Duo" fighting side by side would actually have made defeating Sukuna (even with the Ten Shadows) look like a piece of cake.

So, my answer is mostly narrative informed. I think throughout the entirety of JJK, Gege was trying to hammer home the idea of strength in numbers by contrasting Gojō Satoru's (and Sukuna's) solitude with that of his students — thanks to his efforts to protect their youth and ensure they didn't suffer the same fate he and his classmates did.

I hope that answers your question, and thank you for asking! It's been a long time since I've received any JJK based asks like this and it's always such a treat to me. God, I love this series so much...

[gghostwriter]

Entangled Strings of Fate

Chapter 8. Time heals (almost) all wounds

Spencer Reid x Fem!Original Character

Summary: Caltech, Pasadena - Cleo considers herself a woman of logic. With an IQ of 158 and an eidetic memory, how could she not. But meeting Spencer, the boy genius to hers, had her believing in intangible theories like the invisible string and the fates. Now, if only he would notice the depth of her feelings. Set in Caltech, pre-season 1 and will progress from there. w.c: 1.9k a/n: ngl i had a hard time taking this fic off of hiatus. There were some instances where I just wanted to drop it all together but i persevered so here we are, slowly back in the game. The updates would be irregular since I’m also working on other ideas behind the scenes but hope you all still enjoy and support. Comments & reblogs are greatly appreciated! previous chapter || series masterlist || next chapter

”If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” - Frederick Douglass

Change was a peculiar thing.

If Spencer Reid was to describe it from his own experience dealing with his fight with Dilaudid, he’d liken it to the well-known ‘five stages of grief’—denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance. His progress was never a linear thing, there were days his emotion would swig back and forth within stages like some sort of pendulum. He resented it. It made him feel weak, resentful, and angry. At the world, at the people around him, and most of all at himself.

The first and second stages were denial and anger. Two emotions he regrets to know too well and deflect to others poorly. 

“Reid,” Morgan’s tone coming off harsh from restrained anger. “What was that? I just saw Cleo—” he pointed behind him towards the door. “—rush out and crying.” 

He scoffed. “Nothing. It’s nothing for you to worry about.”

“Yeah, well let’s talk about the elephant in the room then. Since when had you had those?” Morgan nodded his head in the direction of the medicine bottles left haphazardly on the coffee table.

“Since Tobias,” he shrugged nonchalantly, opting to go with a half truth and a half lie to try and throw his fellow profiler off his trail. Not that it would ever work with how tenacious Morgan was. “He must have slipped it in my pockets before his murder—”

“Murder?” Morgan picked up on his specific choice of wording. 

“—and its not like I used it.” 

A lie.

“Kid, we both know that was self defense and Cleo told me the truth, don’t like to me.”

Spencer averted his eyes, finding all the scuffles on his floor suddenly interesting. It was indeed self defense, he knew that, but Tobias didn’t deserve to be killed—not really. He wasn’t like the rest of the unsubs that they have hunted down. He was just a victim of bad fate and his own fractured mind. Inside, the real Tobias still saved him and for that he felt grateful and regretful that his way of repayment was made through by a bullet. 

“Reid, I thought you were getting better. What you went through was traumatic but this isn’t the right way to cope—drugs and pushing away probably the person who cares for you the most. This isn’t you, Reid.”

“Yeah well, maybe this is the new me, have you thought about that?” He glared at Morgan. “I don’t even know why you’re here lecturing me about keeping secrets and coping, we all their own demons locked up, don’t we? The members of the BAU aren’t really known to be the most trusting and forthcoming with our pasts. We brush the trauma all under the rug and hope it doesn’t catch up to us.”

Morgan sighed as his shoulder dropped, all the fight in him leaving. “Come talk to me when your anger has passed—” he stepped back until he was almost by the door. “—and Reid, let’s hope this isn’t the new you ‘cause if it is—” he trailed off, shaking his head.

As the soft closing of the door echoed through the apartment, Spencer felt relief. Relief in being free to do what he wanted without judgement and relief to unknowingly hit rock bottom as his trembling fingers reached for the sealed bottle of Dilaudid. 

———

The third stage was bargaining.

Spencer didn’t know how he got here. Here being the present without the two strongest pillars in his life, Cleo and Gideon. One he pushed away and the other, leaving him behind with just a letter to his name. 

The team felt incomplete. He felt incomplete. 

As a man of science, he didn’t believe in higher power or the cosmos but one late night, he found himself on the rooftop of his apartment complex, cursing the stars and bargaining for the past to come back to the present.

If the star placements that night were different, maybe the present would be too. If he had worn a different combination of socks, maybe Cleo would still be by his side. And if he had not separated from JJ, maybe he would be here—at rock bottom.

It was a place he never thought he’d be in. Did he really have 187 IQ for nothing? Was all those knowledge in his expansive brain useless in recognizing wrong decisions made? 

He sighed as he watched the sun break the horizon.

Another day powered with no sleep.

Another day of wishing things had been different.

And another day of missing the one he pushed away.

———

The fourth stage, depression, hit when he least expected it and with it, came an immense regret that threatened to pull him under it’s ravaging tides.

By definition, depression was a general emotional dejection and regret was the act of feeling sorrow. Easy to understand in wording but difficult to explain when both were cruising through his body.

If Spencer was to explain what both were beyond it’s dictionary definition, he would liken regret to a bone injury that was never reset right and depression to deep, self inflicted wound that had been picked on numerous times that caused it to scar permanently. He felt himself riddled with both—fresh and old, reminders of his inactions and wrongful judgement. The optimists would wade through it and wear their progress with pride. These so called life battle scars that lead them to a better future but he wasn’t one of them.

No, he carried his with such shame causing his shoulders to hunch further forward from the accumulated weight of his whole life’s misfortunes. The heavy, heavy weight of sorrow from not being good enough for his father to stay. Remorse from not being strong enough to carry his ailing mother’s load and having her admitted in a facility. Disappointment from choosing the easy way out of his drug addiction—lashing out and using behind closed doors. Heartache from pushing away the only person in his life that cared enough to be angry and concerned, Cleo—his constant, his number one supporter. 

A rhythmic knock on his door pulled him out from under the waves. Blanket draped over his body, Spencer sluggishly made his way to it—ignoring the hunger pains in his empty stomach. It was nothing compared to what his heart was going through.

“Spencer,” Garcia uttered as she took in the boy genius’ form in worry. 

He cleared his throat, rough from the lack of use. “Garcia, what—what are you doing here?” 

“Taking care of you since it’s obvious you’re not going to,” the tech analyst maneuvered her way through with a Tupperware on hand. She headed straight to the kitchen regardless his small protests.

Garcia worked fast in plating him soup and a slice of bread. If this were a normal evening, he’d feel grateful and enticed by the smell but this wasn’t so all he felt was an urge to retch. 

“I don’t want it,” he mumbled, shuffling further away from the source of the stench.

She sighed. “Reid, what day is it today?” 

The question threw him off a loop. What does that have to do with forcing him to eat?

“Friday. It’s just Friday.”

“It’s Sunday,” she walked closer until he was reaching distance. “I’ve been calling you and you haven’t been picking up so I took it upon myself to visit you instead. Now—” dragging him to the dining table. “—I need you to eat. Even a little bit ‘cause I know you haven’t eaten at all.”

He brought a trickle to his drying lips. It was chicken soup and if he didn’t know any better, it tasted familiar. Homemade, even.

“How is it?” Garcia asked.

“Did you make this?”

Her eyes widened before her hand waved in front of her face in jest. “What? No—no, I got it from the restaurant near my apartment.” 

That was a lie.

A lie that Spencer didn’t question. He had lied about worse things and he had no right to question where the soup really came from when he knew the answer.

From Cleo. 

Or at least it was Cleo’s recipe.

The thought of her still being part of his life, no matter how inconsequential, warmed his insides more than the chicken soup had. 

“Do you think I’m bad for taking those drugs?” 

She gave a brief pause, enough to have Spencer worry. “No. I don’t have the right to judge you on your actions but—”

“But?”

“—it’s sad that other people bore brunt of your anger, which wasn’t your fault but wasn’t your greatest moment either.”

“Do you think—” he downed the last few spoonfuls. “—she’d forgive me?” 

It was what kept him awake most nights. The thought of never being part of Cleo’s world any more than a passerby was a living nightmare he hoped to escape from. Losing her felt like he lost his own limb. It threw him off balance. It broke Earth’s gravitational pull to his self. And when he does sleep, he wakes with this fog that he never pushed her away—never hurt her like a phantom limb before he drops back down to reality.

She reached into her glittered purse, rummaging through before she found what she was looking for. “I’ve been keeping this with me since that night and I think it’s time I give it to you.”

The single piece of paper looked worn at the edges and its folds. It looked non-descriptive. It was the contents that mattered. That truly mattered.

Law Enforcement: Narcotics Anonymous

(555) 657-02149

  All hastily written in Cleo’s loopy handwriting

“Oh.”

———

The final stage, acceptance, came with a physical change in the team. A new old member was stepping up to the plate in Gideon’s place.

David Rossi.

He had been feeling like his past self for a while now. All in thanks to the support each member has extended to him. As he started his climb up from the abyss of addiction, he had realized that his team—Hotch, Morgan, JJ, Garcia, and Emily, were there to cushion his fall should be falter and as the warmth of daylight hit his face on the way up, he wondered why he decided to stay in the darkness for so long. 

Why he had to lose two pillars before realizing that this is where he belonged? That this is who Spencer Reid is—a paradox of good and bad, a person who chooses the good no matter his demons.

And although adjusting to a new BAU member would take a while, he felt optimistic that everything would turn out just right. That it was time to finally let go of self loathing and make amends to those he can, no matter what the outcome.

That was how he found himself penning a letter to the one person he hadn’t seen in months.

To the one person who mattered after his mother. 

To Cleo. 

Comments & reblogs are greatly appreciated!

[undeadenn]

The 5 seasons of TMA represent the 5 stages of grief

I realized how much the stages of grief line up with TMA, specifically Jon’s grief over the loss of his humanity.

Season one (Denial): “It feels like I’m being watched. I… I lose myself a bit. And then when I come back, it’s like… like if I admit there may be any truth to it, whatever’s watching will… know somehow.” Jon realizes something is wrong, but instead of facing it, he pretends that everything is normal. Nothing strange is going on, it’s just crazy people with crazy stories.

Season two (Anger): “I can’t forget it. Everyone in this place has so many goddamn secrets and I can’t trust a word you say. Not about this and not about Trevor!” Jon can no longer deny that something is deeply wrong with the Archives, he just doesn’t Know what. It frustrates and scares him. He then redirects his distrust and anger and confusion towards his coworkers.

Season three (Bargaining): “Okay. What do you want?” “Oh, nothing much. Just shake my hand.” Jon makes a lot of bargains in this season, all in the pursuit of knowledge about what’s happening to him. He makes a deal with Melanie to find out what’s going in the Archives. He made a deal with Jude Perry to find out where Mike Crew is. He makes a deal with Daisy to compel Elias to tell them what he knows. He convinces Julia and Trevor to let him talk to Gerry. His desperation in finding out what going on with him causes him to get into some truly dangerous situations that he wouldn’t have otherwise been in.

Season four (Depression): “You need to stop moping.” “I what?” “You need to stop swanning around acting all sad.” “I’m not-“ “Boo hoo, I’m so alone and a monster.” (This is unironically one of my favorite scenes of the whole podcast. S4 in general is my favorite season) This season is when Jon fully comprehends that he is no longer human, and let’s just say he isn’t very happy about it.

Season 5 (Acceptance): “I wish it was, Martin. I really wish it was. But it feels… right.” By S5, Jon has completely accepted the role of The Archivist. Sure, he’s far from happy about it, but he’s no longer trying to hold onto his humanity. He has let go of his grief over the loss of his humanity. Of Jonathan Sims.

[elegantsplendour]

Of Blossom and Betrayal

Summary:

AU: Green victory, the realm called for a new queen after Queen Helena's demise

Seraphina Tyrell did not belong to the worldly realm of Westeros; a lone child conceived of loyalty, love and devotion. A beacon like her attracts the darkest of souls, in the darkest of times.

💌 Aegon II Targaryen and Aemond Targaryen

Warnings: manipulation, abuse of power, mentions of rape, slight underage, dub con, violence. Specific warnings will be added at the beginnings of each chapter.

Cast

Chapter 1

Prologue: Highgarden

Tag list: @purple-writer8 @vhagarswar @femmechaotic

Other friends: @boundlessfantasy @arcielee @qyburnsghost

Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!

Lord Lyonel Tyrell was a man of honour, loyalty and vigilance. Succeeding in remaining neutral, assuring his family’s survival and maintaining the influence of his house in one of the bloodiest war since Aegon’s Conquest, if not of all of Westerosi history, was an accomplishment that many of his position had dreamt of.

Loyalty? He laughed bitterly at the memory of the bright and confident smile on his long gone brother Bryan’s departing figure to King’s Landing to serve under Prince Daemon Targaryen.

Be loyal to no one but his family, his loved ones.

It was the code he had lived by since Bryan’s unexpected tragic demise at the hands of Rogue Prince himself, a man his poor brother, the innocent messenger sent by King Viserys, admired and sworn loyalty to, fourteen years ago.

Lyonel remembered the day the news of his demise reached his father, the former lord of Highgarden.

People sing that there were six stages of grief.

Shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

But when it came to a devoted seventy two year old father, the grief ended in the very first.

Two days later, Lyonel, the second son, whose ambitions never surpassed the allure of marrying Lady Jayne Lannister and sampling the finest wines and sugary with his beloved, inherited the legacy he had never been prepared for.

The Targaryens will always do what’s best for the Targaryens.

Those were his late father’s last words.

To survive the Targaryen rule, Lyonel played by their rules. Schemes, betrayals, deceptions and bloodshed? He did not shy away from them. He bore the burden so his family, his people, didn’t have to.

With his hands on the cold balcony, Lord of Highgarden bathed the fresh air of flowers, the peaceful chirping of insects, the giggling of young maids and the distant melodies from the small folks returning to their homes after a long day of labour.

This was his empire he defended.

One of loyalty, honour and love.

His beloved Jayne, her arms wrapped around his waist.

Seraphina, his precious jewel, his sweet little rose, the one and only fruit of his and Jayne's love's many attempts at blooming.

His Lancel, Bryan's illegitimate offspring, whom he had taken under the Tyrell bloodline, a fierce and honorable knight, a fine protector, his heir.

“Lord Ormund has written again,” Jayne rested her head on his shoulder, her golden curls soothing his skin as much as his mind, “The letter touched me, the words he’s chosen, the sincerity of his voice. He truly desires a betrothal between his first born and Seraphina.”

Jayne traced her fingers on her husband’s cheeks, “He wishes to introduce them in King’s Landing.”

“King’s Landing?” Lyonel frowned deeply, “It should be fit for them to present themselves to Highgarden, especially when Phina was the one who treated their wounded bodies in the woods, risking the slaughter of the ruthless Northerners.”

Jayne swallowed hard as she recalled the turbulent times of the war.

Although negotiations, strategies and armies kept the castle away bloodshed and dragon fire, the walls were not impenetrable to whimpers of loss and screams agony from the highborn’s well acquainted soldiers calling the Rose without Thorns to their rescue, even at the interdiction of her parents.

Every time the Rose sneaked away from safety, the Lord and Lady of Highgarden sobbed while the peasants and soldiers rejoiced. Her empathetic smile, attentiveness to their wounds and of course, the herbs and food she had carried with her ignited the flicker of hope in the darkest times.

One fateful day, Seraphina stumbled upon two injured knights bedecked in green armor, hidden in the woods—Ormund and Daryn Hightower, gasping for air, on the brink of death from the Battle of Tumbleton.

As Seraphina returned with the blood stained figures of the castle, Lyonel and Jayne’s anger and fear exacerbated.

Highgarden had remained unharmed because of its neutrality that their naive daughter had just broken.

Yet, the gods seemed to show them mercy, perhaps in honor of the lives House Tyrell defended. The Blacks remained oblivious to this act, which could be seen as a declaration of allegiance. Instead, Seraphina’s uncalculated move of benevolence eaned House Tyrell a favourable position in the new Targaryen court: an intimate alliance with the most influential house beside the new king.

As Lyonel contemplated the offer in silence, Jayne squeezed his hand, “Daryn is a handsome, brave and honourable young man. I recognized the look on his face when Seraphina brought him back from the wild,” she pressed a kiss on cheek, “It’s the same way you looked at me years ago, lord husband.”

Lyonel’s gaze softened as he enveloped his wife into his arms with a light chuckle, “Your jest on formality never cease, my love. If the young Hightower truly feels the same about our daughter as I did to you twenty five years ago,” he cupped her cheeks, “Then, perhaps, that boy deserves her hand.”

Jayne held her husband tightly, relishing his scent and warmth. In a world cruel as this, she thanked to the gods everyday for granting her a man of his devotion, wisdom and strength.

“To King’s Landing then?”

“To King’s Landing,” Lyonel nodded before rolling his eyes, his never dying youthful side emerging, “Where the drunken king will be holding a foolish lavish pageant while his people starve. Seven bless the poor girl he will choose as the new queen.”

Jayne laughed wholeheartedly before tending to his arm, returning to the warmth of the interior, “You know, fate favoured us immensely,” she whispered with a mixture of gratitude and anxiety, “If we had agreed to the Kinslayer’s proposal in marriage-“

Lyonel suddenly gripped the touch of her hand, “Thank the wisdom my father and brother had bestowed me. Never trust a Targaryen. The rumours of…” disturbance and disgust written all over his face, “Lady, now a Princess, Cassandra Baratheon’s screams of pain echoed through the Red Keep on her wedding night. I cannot imagine-“

He buried his face in his hands as he sat down with his wife next to the fireplace.

Jayne brushed his hair with adoration, “Don’t overthink about the past, my love. Phina is about to marry a good man.”

The lord smiled as he lifted his head to face his beloved, “Everything I risked, I fought for, it was worth it. For you, for her, for Lancel, and for our people.”

Jayne kissed him passionately before whispering, “You are too good for this world, Lyonel Tyrell.”

As the stars gracefully pirouetted around the moon in the embrace of the night's darkness, and with the imminent date of embarking on the journey to King's Landing drawing near, the wheel of fate began its inevitable revolution once more.

[distant-screaming]

dragging this out of my drafts in celebration of the final saga which reasserted my idea, so I present to you my take on epic + a reflection through the stages of grief! if anyone has a different take or wants to add something please feel free to do so, I would love to hear your opinions!

so. the stages of grief is considered to have seven main stages: denial/shock, pain/guilt, anger/bargaining, depression, upward turn, reconstruction/working through, and acceptance. I think as epic the musical progresses through its sagas, it works through the stages of grief in a really interesting way.

stage 1 is denial and shock, which fits in with troy saga and cyclops saga. in troy, we see the denial + shock very clearly in just a man (+ the last section of the horse and the infant). cyclops saga is also much of the same - the denial and the incredibly impactful shock of his comrades and specifically polites' death that literally shows up to make sure he's still traumatized every saga. cyclops saga also kind of bleeds into the next stage!

stage 2 is pain and guilt, which we can attach to the saga odysseus loses the most number of men, that is, ocean saga! this is also associated with guilt because the death of his crew is directly related to odysseus' decision to open arms style let polyphemus live.

stage number 3, anger and bargaining, has the most sagas attached to it - circe, underworld, and thunder. circe is very clearly bargaining, as he does exactly that with circe to let his men go. underworld is a mix of both anger and bargaining, as he bargains with tiresias and himself, and eventually uses his anger to fuel his decision to accept becoming a monster. thunder saga fully centers on anger, ruthlessly killing the sirens and sacrificing his men to scylla. there's also an element of bargaining, though, in both mutiny and thunder bringer, as he bargains with his crew and with zeus respectively.

stage number 4, the most fun (lie), depression! this stage parallels wisdom saga for multiple reasons. firstly, on calypso's island odysseus really is at his lowest, emotionally speaking, tormented and desperate and, yeah, pretty depressed. also, something interesting is that this is the first saga where we pull away from odysseus' pov, which fits because a depressed odysseus is not going to be up to lead an entire saga.

stage 5, at long last, is the upward turn - that is, vengeance saga! after seven years of apparently no way to escape, he gets a chance, an opportunity! and he's immediately met with hermes - odysseus isn't alone! also, he finally defeats the most prominent godly opponent, poseidon, and in some vague way gets a tiny bit of closure from the people he's been haunted by so far (it's definitely not a complete fix, but it's a step!).

and finally, ithaca saga is stage 6 (reconstruction and working through), and touches on stage 7 (acceptance and hope). odysseus spends the saga reconstructing his place as ithaca's king by getting rid of the suitors and reasserting himself as the most powerful. he also (re)constructs his relationship with telemachus, athena, and penelope. he works through (inasmuch as he can in two songs) the issues in their relationships. these last two songs also touch on acceptance (as telemachus' father, penelope's husband - both as this new odysseus, not the one who left 20 years ago) and hope, but I think the majority of this stage takes place post musical.

[drifting-pieces-blog-blog]

Jed MacKay you are a GENIUS.

New Moon Knight out today (no major spoilers, I promise).

Moon Knight is dead. GENERALLY there are five issues in every collected trade. We're on issue three and I just figured out what he's doing. Maybe I'm a little slow and this has already been discussed somewhere, but give me this moment.

MacKay has already noted that he is going to be addressing each member of the Midnight Mission in each issue over the loss of Marc. Each issue is named after who is reflecting over their relationship and the loss of Marc. What I didn't realize?

Issue one: Reese

Issue Two: Tigra

Issue Three: Soldier (We are currently here 03/20/24)

Issue Four: Hunter's Moon

If you've been reading the issues as they come out you might have noticed each character is dealing with the loss of Marc in their own way. Reese is convinced he's going to come back. Tigra is enraged and wants revenge and violence. Soldier believes he should have been the one to die and (ITTY BITTY SPOILER) is negotiating with people to stop the pretend Moon Knight. MacKay has already noted in an interview that Badr is sad about the loss of another Fist of Khonshu and that he could be the last Fist of Khonshu without the ability to make more.

Huh. Those are some pretty strong emotions. Wait a minute. What are the five stages of grief?

Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. ......But wait a minute... Who's getting the last issue? Who is getting number 5? The most important stage of grief? Who is getting Acceptance?

Here's the real kicker.

I don't think we are getting Acceptance.

You see, a big event is brewing at Marvel. A Marvel Event. This means a huge upheaval in all the comics is about to happen and all side comics are going to have to do tie in responses to the event. But this event has been sneaking into the Moon Knight main plot for some time now.

Ever heard of Blade?

Blade was a HUGE deal back in the day. And since Marvel has Been introducing and reintroducing the comics to the big screen. Blade had his run back in the day, but old fans have been begging for Blade to get rebooted for some time.

And they brought him back to the comics. Specifically... They introduced him into Moon Knight comics when he trained Reese. And then they have been having Vampire plot points for ages.

There's a new event happening called Blood Hunt and Issue 5 and 6 are a direct response to this event. And while it fits in with the plot, there is no direct title name like the other four.

So where is the Acceptance? A run isn't 7 issues long. It's rare to get 6. So either this is a break and a side step to deal with the event and we'll get back to the main plot of figuring out the new Moon Knight identity in issue 7, which would actually be the issue 5 conclusion....

Or....

Who needs Acceptance when the one we grieve isn't dead?

[iwanthermidnightz]

I can’t believe (but also can) that she really went there with the 5 stages of grief thing that a bunch of us lgbettys have been talking about on the internet because it’s so relatable to the universal queer experience™️ and even put her own songs in each category that describes those specific feelings.

denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance… and in that order

[aspoonofsugar]

Life, Death And Rust

The Parfait Predicament is that the Parfait is the least important thing that happens this episode :P

Here are some thoughts on what we got this week.

THE CYCLE OF LIFE AND DEATH

When we break or wear out or simply finish what we were made to do we are called back (...) I know, I know. Wehre you come from, things die, but we are not like you at all. We ascend. Herb will have his purpose again.

The CC's speech and Ever After's creatures not dying, but "ascending" ties into 2 themes dear to RWBY and Ruby:

Grief

Creation and Destruction

Both ideas come together in The Cycle of Life and Death, which is illustrated (or at least hinted at) in the character of the mysterious Blacksmith:

The Blacksmith's role seems to be collecting lost weapons and to use their metal to forge something new. When it comes to this, she is similar to Jinxy:

Jinxy takes things that are lost, changes their shapes and gives people the chance to get them back, if they are willing to pay the price. It is possible that what is left unsold is then given to the Blacksmith, who gives new life to it.

Two details have interested me of the Blacksmith's introduction:

She is made of gold and her workplace is all gold

She is forging a butterfly

Both are important symbols in the series.

Gold is the perfect metal and the objective of alchemy. The characters are going through the scale of metals and getting more and more refined, so that they can become gold. Pyrrha is gold to begin with and is the first one to become a true Huntress and to end her arc. Penny dies surrounded by a golden cloud because she goes from copper (her metal) to gold and reaches perfection. (This also ties with Pinocchio's fairy tale btw). In short, gold is important and the Blacksmith being covered in it frames her as an alchemist. Someone who starts reactions and transforms things.

Butterflies are symbols of transformation, of death and rebirth. So, it is important the Blacksmith is forging this specific animal. It may hint to how she is some kind of God in the Ever After. Or at least, that her role is God-Like. People who lose themselves in the Ever After come to her in the form of weapons and metals. She reworks them and gives them new life. The Butterfly might even be a reference to Herb, who "ascended" and is now being "fixed up".

So, what does all of it has to do with Ruby?

RUBY RIDING HOOD

(I have yet to write a full analysis of Ruby's allusion, I only have snippets of it for now. However, the imagery this episode was rather strong)

Ruby's meeting with the Blacksmith develops 2 ideas already present in the previous episode:

Her Journey Through Grief

Her Loss of Identity

So far, each episode has explored a specific stage of grief. Let's review:

Episode 1 > Denial

Episode 2 > Bargaining

Episode 3 > Anger

Episode 4 > Depression

Last week I identified episode 4 as Acceptance, but now I think it was depression (both Ruby and Herb are depressed). What is true is that it ends with the concept of Acceptance, which is fully developed this episode. The CC's speech and the appearance of the Blacksmith hint to this idea. Ruby, however, is still far away from fully reaching this stage.

Still, she is slowly getting closer to fully facing her ghosts, even if it is difficult to say if this is a good or bad thing right now:

The Blacksmith's weapons give Ruby 3 different mirror images:

Penny

Alyx

Summer

Why is that so? @lintuwaterfall shared a theory where they could represent Id, Ego and Superego (these are their words):

Penny - Id - Desire - She has deep feelings about her friend

Alyx - Ego - Reality - Doing what one can to survive in the world

Summer - Super-Ego - The ideal set out by a Parent

I quite like this idea and whatever the case, it is clear Penny, Alyx and Summer represent 3 parts of Ruby. In particular, they could once again allude to past, present and future (just like Neo's allusion while Ruby is falling may):

Penny is a lot like Ruby's past idealistic self. They became friends precisely because they were so similar. This is also why when Penny came back it is as if Ruby could find her childhood and innocent self once again.

Alyx went through a journey very similar to Ruby to the point they are often paralleled and juxtaposed. Alyx is described as a girl running from herself and she probably lost herself eventually.

Summer is set up to be Ruby's future. She is who Ruby has always wanted to be. An ideal she has been chasing after. She is the self Ruby has always wanted to become. Until recently, at least.

In short, the Blacksmith's scene is just Ruby going through the exact same pattern she did last episode with Herb. There she meets her past self, who asks her who she wants to become and suggests she may meet the same fate as Summer. Here, those unsolved and repressed feelings manifest themselves in a more subtle ways through the weapons.

This may also be why Ruby goes from Penny's beautiful sword:

To Alyx's humble and small knife:

From an ideal:

Ruby: Not just a powerful warrior, the most powerful to ever lived. She was touched by magic, and she gave her life for thousands. She took a message of hope to the stars, and she saw the world through better eyes. Take us to the royal birthday, and allow us to present this most precious gift.

To reality, which is much less beautiful and impressive:

The Blacksmith: What are you? Are you lost?

Ruby starts as beautiful as Penny's sword, a precious gem (rubies and jades), but has right now turned into a smaller knife. The question is... who will she become? Which weapon will she choose to wield?

Blacksmith: If you change your mind, you may choose anyone of these you like.

As for now, she seems to be willing to let go of her past self to a degree that is almost dangerous and destructive:

Ruby: Here, I'll give you this! It carries a mother's promise!

A moment after seeing a glimpse of Summer in herself, she immediately bargains away a reminder of her. Just like she gives up Penny's sword after getting it in order to meet the Red Prince. Ruby has just gone through the stages of grief when it comes to Penny. However, Penny's death has now forced her to go even deeper and to face Summer's. She is probably going through the stages once again, so that she can deal with Summer. Only then she will be able to accept both her friend (her inner child) and her mother (her future ideal self)'s deaths. And change.

RUSTED JAUNE

It is too soon to say for sure, but so far Jaune seems a foil to Ruby when it comes to dealing with grief and identity.

It is implied Ruby wishes to forget:

Ruby: When Herbs come back... will he remember anything?

And she is willing to let go of herself completely. To self-destroy:

Young Ruby: You can do whatever you want! Be whoever you want! You don't even have to be Ruby Rose.

The first glimpse we get of Jaune instead suggests he wants to remember:

He calls his new friend Juniper

He chooses to live in an acre called "garden" and full of flowers (Nora) and leaves (Pyrrha)

The leaves have a rainbow pattern, which calls back to both his teamd and name

His house is a giant lotus (Ren)

He wears a red bow to remember Pyrrha:

He seems to have been in the Ever After for years, but he has apparently failed to change. He is still wearing his old armor or at least a similar one and his weapon is still broken:

In short, if Ruby's reaction to grief is to refuse it, to forget it and to self-destroy, Jaune's reaction seems to be not to let go when he should. Both characters clearly have to change and evolve, but Ruby only sees the relief of self-destruction, while Jaune only sees the importance of moving forward. Interesting considering they reacted in opposite ways when it comes to Pyrrha and Beacon. In general, the 2 of them seem to also have exchanged places since the beginning of the series. There Ruby was an already experienced Huntress in theory and very effective in combat. Jaune was instead unsure of his role and was often the load. In this week's episode instead we see how Ruby seems helpless when it comes to fighting, while Jaune rushes to the battlefield and basically takes Ruby's role as the 4th of her team. (This is a superficial note btw... I think the point is simply Ruby doesn't know where to fit right now, which reflects on her fighting style and willingness to fight - see the chess fight).

Basically, Ruby and Jaune explore 2 opposite and extreme reactions to grief. It is probable them both will be forced to revisit them. Ruby might have to accept her own pain, while Jaune might be asked to let go of an already consumed persona.

Obviously, Jaune's appearance might be misleading and he might have already been remade into something new. In this case, his own attachment to the past and knight persona might be an illusion to hide how broken his own identity is (the shattered sword).

Whatever the case, it is probable Jaune will be forced to change and to be remade into his true self. So, that he can finally evolve.

JAUNE AND NEO - RUSTED KNIGHT VS JABBERWALKER

We have reached the midway of the season. So, all the main characters and ingredients for the story have gathered. This means that both Jaune in the form of the Rusted Knight and Neo in the form of her illusory Jabberwalker have joined the fray and interacted with RWBY.

This gives us space for a meta commentary (this partly repeats last week's post):

Ruby is the protagonist - she even more so than the others has 2 animals guides there to help her out. Still, she is thinking of refusing her role and wants to lose herself and to be remade.

Neo is the antagonist - she multiplies the Jabber Walker aka the only antagonistic forse in the Ever After > the only thing able to kill. Symbolically, she is spreading her grief in a world which knows no death. However, she might seem to want more than just a role and is using her semblance to add new characters and potentially change the story (only 1 Jabberwalker was supposed to exist).

Jaune is the side character- he has completely fused with the story to the point the protagonists know his character even before they meet him. It is as if Jaune is running from his role of main character in RWBY to be content with an easier role in another story.

At the same time:

Ruby processes grief through wishing to destroy herself (she internilizes)

Neo processes grief through wishing to destroy others and the world (she externalizes)

Jaune processes grief through refusing destruction altogether, so he doesn't let go of his mementos and protects others even in this strange world.

We'll see where we go from there. That said, it is interesting the Rusted Knight is introduced fighting the Jabberwalker because these 2 characters are juxtaposed in the opening:

And there is clearly something going on with the Jabberwalker... are they a person trapped in the Ever After? What is their deal?

The wonderful Chatterbox's song seems to suggest there might be a problem with communication:

I don't think the Jabberwalker is evil. Rather I think they have a problem, but since they are scary, dangerous and impossible to understand people have made them be the villain. Which leads us to the final thematic highlight of this week.

CREATION AND DESTRUCTION

Weiss: It's impossible. Things have to die someday, right? CC: Goodness no! Although, I suppose there is a creature...No, no. That's not the sort of thing you talk about while in polite company.

The CC may insist there is no death in the Ever After, but there actually is in the form of the Jabberwalker. Whatever form this death takes is left to be seen. (When is it that stories die? I would say when they are forgotten or their meaning is lost... so maybe the jabberwalker not being able to articulate things might be the reason behind it?). What is sure is that the Jabberwalker is a creature of Destruction, while the Ever After is the world of Creation. And yet, Destruction and Creation can't be divided:

Weiss: I am so tired of leaving places in ashes.

So, very poignantly the Ever After is compared to Atlas. Both are Kingdoms of Creation where the inhabitants live happily and think they are untouchable. And yet, Destruction arrives and changes things.

I don't think this is the only similarity between Atlas and the Ever After, though. First of all, the 2 places appear as incredibly rich and wonderful, but both ignore their shadows:

Atlas ignores Mantle and the Ever After ignores whatever place the Jabberwalker comes from. Not only that, but both places are in the end run through control and manipulation and roles.

Each character has a role and is dismissed the moment they are not able to fulfill it anymore? Doesn't it remind you of something? Like a very utilitarian and strict military state?

Maybe this is why the CC's power seems at the same time extremely kind and extremely dangerous. Atlas explores trust, but shows how it can degenerate in control. The Ever After might introduce the theme of empathy and how it can be used for manipulation:

CC: I gave him something new to do for the moment...

MISCELLANIA- A CAT AND A MOUSE

Blacksmith: Are you her guide, little one?

Little being recognized by the Blacksmith as Ruby's guide makes me wonder... is it possible Alyx too had a guide? And if yes, could that guy have been the CC? Did they fail their role as guide and this is why they are so interested in RWBY and Ruby especially? To the point they are ready to challenge the Red Prince, to have Herb ascend, to sacrifice a Poor Bird and to risk their own life, just to protect Ruby?

It seems a little bit too much investment for character introduced as minding their own business and acting on a whim.

If so, then this take on Alice In Wonderland is a retelling where Alice fails to get home and The Cat wants to make sure the story doesn't repeat itself? And yet, the CC is not Ruby's guide. Little is. Interesting the juxtaposition between a naive little mouse (heart) and an experienced tricky cat (mind).

Finally, this week's song rocked! I am enjoying the new songs, I must say! Also, this volume's soundtrack so far seems to be about Ever After Characters. Both the Red Prince and the Jabberwalker have now their own song. Interested to see if this continues or if our titular RWBY characters will get new songs as well.

[nellasbookplanet]

Sorry but my thoughts are still on the nature of death in dnd (and other fiction where resurrection is possible), specifically on the implications it has on worldbuilding.

Resurrection magic existing kind of makes for cultural issues that have no parallel in our world. Some of it compares - such as the inherent class divide and tensions when the rich and powerful can literally buy their way out of death (a class divide is a class divide, this just digs the chasm deeper, which I'd love to see explored more in media btw) - but the implications on grief and acceptance are on another level. In our world, there is no bargaining with death. So much of our lives is spent coming to terms with the fact that we will all die one day, and mourning and moving on whenever death strikes near us. We experience stages of grief like denial and rage and bargaining but in the end there is no escaping it, no matter how hard you work or beg or rage. Clinging on can only hurt you. It's pointless. All you can do is move on, and it is so hard.

But if death is conditional. Impermanent. Something that can be defeated with money or power or faith. How do you ever move on. On a societal and cultural level, there should be entire rebellions based around who has access to resurrection. Powerful people offering resurrections as incentive would be all over the place, with desperate people selling their souls and freedom and entire lives to save a loved one. Would soldiers fear dying, seen as disposable, or would they fear being brought back again and again to die eternally on the battlefield?

But on an individual level. Is acceptance of the inevitability of death even possible when it’s no longer inevitable? If you decide that no, you can not give up everything to go pursue resurrection of your child, will you hate yourself? You could save them. Why aren’t you? Why aren’t you doing everything in your power? How much do you hate the people who have this power but won’t offer it freely? If you yourself are brought back from the dead and find out most of your loved ones just, let you go, would you hate them? Would you feel abandoned and betrayed? If you’re watching from the afterlife and see your loved one, who’s been working to get you back, decides to accept your death and move on because they have found new love, would you find a way to fucking haunt them? Oh, you think I only lived for you? That I don’t want life just because I can’t have you, too? How selfish is that. But how selfish would it be to bring someone back only to salve your own feelings of guilt, whether they want to or not? Would there be an entire industry of mediums based on people needing to ask their loved ones if they wish to remain dead or not? How much more powerful would hate and love and hubris be in this world, lacking the absolute limit of death?

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Ep2 Musings - At the Chateau

More random musings; this time specifically about The Hunt at the Chateau.

I hate these two wenches specifically, but NGL, they look cool here.

Ohhhh, AMC knew what they were doing, going RIGHT for my ovaries! 😍 DADDY TUAN PHAM! 😍😍

Sincere is one thing. HONEST is another, though. Y'all knew those Americans were sus, Armand. They're not buying that "Bruce" BS, Louis, don't sleep on them!

I am SO BUMMED that we didn't get to SEE this scene; I was so excited!

Now I'll never get to see Louis so bored out of his skull by Santiago's thespian charms that he starts snoring in the middle of the play. U_U

Mr. I Could Not Prevent It, what were YOU doing to protect your man? You slaughter random innocent fledglings just for blinking, but you let your whole coven plot Louis & Claudia's demise right under your nose?

Bull frikkin crap!

Daciana been knew. U_U

Who is the coven LEADER, and the coven MASTER?

"COMPLICIT" finna be my favorite word this season, istg.

SO well said, Louis; as this beastly monstrous coven has TWO heads, these SNAKES, this immortal Hydra that only dies when Hercules cuts its head off and cauterizes the wound.

I am SO ready.

I loooove this transition frame; the Moulin Rouge as the most famous French theatre in pop culture, as Louis snaps his sad photos and Claudia whoops and the Theatre Louis sets on fire takes them hunting to a chateau they'll set on fire.

Reminds me of what Lestat said: "there is a veil between us; but it is a THIN veil." Louis will never be "one" with y'all. He's already bound by "a cord you cannot see, but it is real;" all your Mind Gift's mindscrewing can't un-screw Lestat out of Louis' blood! 😜 Louis drags that camera EVERYWHERE, ducking behind the lens, seeing the world thru a Glass Darkly; a warped perception of time & space. Cuz he's STRUGGLING; looking for God; looking for ("the wrong kind" of) love in all the wrong places.

Look at the things he takes pictures of! He's documenting DEATH; a MASS MURDER--"you are chronicling a suicide"--as the coven rides their bikes to the house they're gonna KILL everyone in. This isn't a mere road trip; this is a HUNT.

Equestrian statues & triumphal arches--monuments of blood-soaked imperialism & colonialism.

Hedonistic bacchic revelries. "I want food, I want sex, I want to go home."

Meanwhile, Claudia's high as a kite, on cloud 9.

EVERYBODY, Claudia? As they pan to Louis? "I hate you both!"

I wanna throw up when I remember Claudia's ashes got mixed with the coven's when the Theatre burned down. U_U No justice, and no peace. Claudia, I would've become the most notorious Parisian poltergeist in history--the Pope himself would've had to come up to perform the exorcism, on god I'd make my death everyone's problem.

But the LOOK on Louis' face, omg.

Whole 5 stages of grief in reverse:

Acceptance: he TRIES to "be one with us," taking on the "collective hunger;" smiling (fake AF) as he tries to soak in Claudia's ecstasy; riding in Armand's sidecar, flirting with the "Maitre," cozying up with his potential new beau

Depression: knowing full well he hates the rampant bloodlust & violence, the carnage in the chateau on fire behind him

Bargaining: Mr. I Only Eat Once Every Other Day, refusing to take part the the slaughter but still standing by--you are all COMPLICIT--while they were being killed; and agreeing to have Armand teach him how to be a better killer by honing the Mind Gift, etc.

Anger: The Fire Gift WHENNNNNNN? Foreshadowing AF! Claudia, you WILL be avenged!

Denial: Lestat WHO? Being told straight to his face that Armand knows he's lying, knows he's been collecting alimony & child support checks from Roget, knows Claudia wants to join the coven that set up a frikkin shrine to the dude, knows Santiago's a cheap imitation of Lestat, knows DreamStat's gonna keep haunting the narrative, I can't

An EFFED UP Gothic Romance.

The book stans who keep complaining about this show are just willfully ignoring what AMC's doing here. There is PLENTY we can complain about absolutely! But overall this adaptation is a slam dunk.

[shannendoherty-fans]

Published Aug 1, 2024

The Cancer Community Says After The Loss of Shannen Doherty, It’s Important To Keep Going- A Legacy of Bravery

The 'Beverly Hills, 90210' star candidly shared about her day-to-day fight with metastatic breast cancer up until the end.

By Marissa Sullivan.

An Inspirational Icon

The loss of Shannen Doherty, who died on July 13 of stage 4 metastatic breast cancer at age 53, affected fans and loved ones from around the world, and the cancer community was hit particularly hard by this profound loss.

The Beverly Hills, 90210 actress gave people hope, and despite her passing — which can be especially devastating for other late stage survivors, it’s important to keep going in her honor and not give up that hope that she instilled.

After the death of a loved one or someone you looked up to, it’s key to remember that grief may look different for everyone. The stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These labels help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. These stages can also occur in any order.

As far as your own cancer journey, don’t give up. There are more and more options becoming available for patients to manage symptoms of advanced stage disease, and it’s best to talk about specific treatment plans and what is best for you with your own doctor.

The loss of Shannen Doherty, who died on July 13 of stage 4 metastatic breast cancer at age 53, affected fans and loved ones from around the world, and the cancer community was hit particularly hard by this profound loss.

The Beverly Hills, 90210 star gave people hope, and despite her passing — which can be exceptionally heavy on other late stage survivors, it’s important to keep going and not lose faith in your own journey.

Doherty was over four years into her advanced stage diagnosis and had gained a powerful voice in the health space with her Let’s Be Clear podcast, holding nothing back as she aired out past personal struggles in her career and love live, and candidly spoke of her day-to-day fight.

Actress Shannen Doherty became a household name after starring in hit shows like ‘Beverly Hills, 90210’ and ‘Charmed.’ “This is what I am currently facing. #cancer #life,” Doherty captioned what would be her last video post.

The day the world woke up to the tragic news, comments came pouring in on Instagram for the late pop culture icon.

“Rest in peace. I’m donating to metavivor today in your honor,” one fan commented, while actress Selma Blair shared: “Thank you for showing us how to keep going.”

CEO Alana Stewart — who runs the Farrah Fawcett Foundation in honor of her late best friend’s cancer mission — wrote, “God bless you, you’re an amazing inspiration.”

How to Cope After Losing a Loved One to Cancer

After the death of a loved one or someone you looked up to, it’s key to remember that grief may look different for everyone.

Everyone is entitled to their feelings, and yes, the emotions are real, even if you consider yourself “just a fan.”

The stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These labels help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. These stages can also occur in any order.

The time it takes to navigate these stages can also vary, so giving yourself grace and patience is essential while navigating your feelings.

“It often gets better over time, but on certain days, it can look like depression, and on other days, people look perfectly normal and can function,” Dr. Scott Irwin, a board-certified psychiatrist and Director of Supportive Care Services at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, previously told SurvivorNet.

‘Grief Comes in Waves’

Dr. Irwin added that grieving people are coming to terms with “the change in their life; the future they had imagined is now different.”

SurvivorNet also had a prior conversation with Megan Newcomer, who lost a close friend to metastatic cancer in 2018. She shared her unique way of coping with grief.

Newcomer’s friend was an athlete and soccer player, so to help her cope, she embarked on a marathon race in his honor, and advises others grieving to first “acknowledge your feelings.”

Shannen Doherty was a passionate animal rights activist. Courtesy of Instagram/Shannen Doherty

“Then, think about a way that you could honor the person through a mechanism that is meaningful to you,” she continued. “So that can be artwork, music, or developing a financial fundraising project. It could be something very simple, but I do think having it be intentional is what you’re doing to help honor this person.”

In a column for SurvivorNet, New York-based clinical psychologist Dr. Marianna Strongin expressed that it may be helpful to remind yourself that these feelings are “meaningful yet temporary.”

“If you approach them with compassion, kindness, and eventually acceptance, you will come away from this period in your life more connected to your resilience and strength,” Dr. Strongin added.

Understanding Metastatic Breast Cancer

Stage 4, or metastatic breast cancer, means that the cancer has spread to distant areas of the body. Even though there is currently no cure for metastatic breast cancer, doctors have many options to treat this advanced stage of breast cancer.

Hormone therapy, chemotherapy and targeted drugs are all options to talk to her doctor about, depending on your individual needs. Sometimes surgery and/or radiation is considered as part of the treatment, but mainly it is important to focus on improving your quality of life.

Dr. Erica Mayer, a medical oncologist at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, says clinical trials have shown that hormone medicines are more effective when paired with targeted therapies. At some point, chemotherapy will be introduced. And according to Dr. Mayer, it’s delivered at a dose and schedule that’s as well-tolerated as possible.

“We are so lucky in breast cancer that we have so many effective and well-tolerated treatments,” Dr. Mayer previously told SurvivorNet. I’m so gratified to see that patients are doing better and living longer today with metastatic breast cancer than they have ever done before.”

Bottom line, there are more and more options becoming available for patients to manage symptoms of advanced stage disease, and it’s best to talk about specific treatment plans and what is best for you with your own doctor.

Treating Metastatic Breast Cancer

With metastatic breast cancer, the primary goal of treatment is to control its spread. SurvivorNet offers information about what those options are from targeted therapies to chemotherapy and when these various treatment options can be used.

We also provide information on new, exciting research that is currently being tested in clinical trials and information about when recently approved drugs, like immunotherapies, can be used.

For help finding a clinical trial that may be right for you or a loved one, try our easy-to-use Clinical Trial Finder.

While there have been many developments in recent years when it comes to treating late-stage breast cancer, which therapies can be used will depend on the characteristics of the patient’s cancer.

What are the treatment options for late-stage breast cancer?

“Metastatic breast cancer is a treatable disease,” Dr. Kenneth D. Miller, medical oncologist at the Alvin & Lois Lapidus Cancer Institute at Sinai Hospital of Baltimore shared in a pior interview with SurvivorNet.

“Fortunately, we have so many new treatments for women with recurrent breast cancer and for many women who look at this as a chronic disease that they can live with — often for many years.”

*****

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