#grayro culture

[aro-culture-is]

Greyro culture is not knowing if you're polyamorously in love with all your friends or not in love with anyone

.

[acelor-acetaylorswift]

Any other ace/ aro spike, ace or ace flux, demi, grey-ace/aro people relate?? I'm beginning to wonder if I'm the aro spike microlabel because it seems like occasionally I'll get an intense crush on someone and I start questioning everything and then the obsession just fades and I'm back to being "nothing that you want" because I won't reciprocate feelings to anyone interested. Idk I just feel these lines and like them a bit better than what ended up. It's a confusing thing to live because you can't figure out who you are, and I feel like I get so desperate to want to fit in or get that fairy tale relationship I dreamed of growing up that I try to try romance but it's just not quite right. Anyways, thankful for Taylor's lyrics as always.

“GORGEOUS” ORIGINAL LYRICS

[117-opossum-teeth]

i was gonna wait to share these until arospec awareness week but i’ve been in alloro spaces for too long and wanted to share my recent art of my aro ocs to shake the bad vibes off!! im gonna do a little bit of infodumping abt them below >:)

the first drawing is of tatum (left) and dylan (right)! they are QPPs! :] tatum (she/her) is aroallo, grayro, and polyam! she’s also in a romantic relationship with another character. she loves being out in nature and has lots of hobbies like gardening, photography, and foraging! she’s big on appreciating the small things and prefers to be in quiet, peaceful areas. dylan (they/them) is aroqueer and genderqueer, and loves vulture culture and anything to do with bugs (beetles are their favorite)! they like sketching and being competitive (although sometimes they take it a little too far lol), and they take awhile to be comfortable around others.

i don’t have their backgrounds completely fleshed out, but i like to think since she was young tatum never got the big deal abt romantic relationships (while she’s in one now, she doesn’t view it as inherently superior to other relationship types) and didn’t buy into amatonormative ideas. dylan, on the other hand, tried to be in a romantic relationship which failed, and they fell victim to some amatonoramtive ideas until they met tatum! tatum taught them about aromanticism and generally made them a lot more comfortable with themself and their identity. sooner or later the both of them realized they wanted to be QPPs and they now call each other their zucchinis! <2

the second drawing is of mistletoe (he/him)! he’s frayromantic, homosexual, and non partnering! he has a group of friends, one of whom he has a fwb situation with. he can act arrogant sometimes but he means well. he’s actually a big softy but tries to act cool (he doesn’t like people treating him like he’s weak or “lesser” for being a rabbit, so he thinks he has to make up for it by acting tougher sometimes). while being aro, he actually loves flirting with people, he treats it like a game haha. although as soon as the flirting advances to something more, he gets freaked out and repulsed. and ironically, being frayromantic, on the rare occasions he does experience romantic attraction, he loses his entire ability to flirt due to nerves.

thanks for reading!!! i love these guys sm :]

[demiro-allosexual-culture-is]

Demiro allosexual culture is being in a soft romo rlshp w ur aroace partner and having the best most positive rlshp defined on ur own terms

Also not being able to decide btwn aro grayro and demiro lol (but 100% bisexual 😎)

.

[rosetyler42]

@dollopheadsandclotpoles Hi, Aroace here. While I don't have first-hand experience, I've also been writing/working with Gray-ace (and grayro) characters, and have found these resources helpful:

This from @fuckyeahasexual :

And this from @gray-ace-space and @ace-culture-is .

I may reblog again with more.

I’m writing a character that’s demi or gray (not sure yet just know that I want them to be aroace spec), but there’s just no way they would know the terms (I want to use them but the world is such that it would be too jarring for anyone to know any specific terms) so I want to describe the experience in a way that makes it very clear that they are aspec. Anyone who experiences attraction infrequently, would love it if you could hmu or share what the experience of discovering attraction for the first time was like/how it came on (was it sudden? Gradual? Etc)

[romo-aro-culture-is]

greyro/aroflux culture is having a crush-intensive period for a few years, then it just Vanishing and missing the feeling

(technically erasromantic but shhhhhhh)

totally fair!!

[rudolphsboyfriend]

Ok! So! I figured out a few things about my aro-ness

1.

I have no interest in romantic attraction BUT i do want Romantic affection like kisses n cuddles. I only say "romantic" affection bcuz of the norm. I don't see that stuff as exclusively romantic (maybe bcuz I don't get romance as a seperate feeling) but everyone else does. This is. Pretty obvious when i say it now but it took a while for me to really get it. I want to be in a romantic relationship not because i have "romantic feelings" i need to satisfy or whatever but because i want to do those things and my friends won't do em w me.

2.

Even tho i want to date and i love romantic media, if anyone actually flirts w me or if i imagine someone asking me out i get. Very Uncomfortable. And it confused me so much but i realised it's bcuz when someone wants to date me i feel so. Suffocated? So trapped in this box of "i need to feel romantic feelings for this" but i just CAN'T. I need to reciprocate a certain way, a way that i can't give them.

And its not like saying "i don't like you back". Imagine someone gives you a piece of paper w "do you like me?" And then the options "yes" or "no". You choose one based on ur feelings. I don't like people romantically, but for me, it's not just choosing "no". For me, its like the question is at the top, and then there's no options. I can't even choose no because the rest of the page is just blank. There's no "yes" or "no" for me. That's how it feels. And so feeling like i have to choose either one makes me so. Claustrophobic.

i wanna date someone but only if they know I'm aromantic and can't like them back romantically. I'd still care for them like a lover does and do all those 'romantic' things but. the feelings will just be different. Not less intense or special but definitely different. It won't be the clear cut romance of the allos. I can't date anyone who can't accept that. It would kill me.

Idrk why i made this post, i was explaining how i feel to an allo friend and it madd me realise a few things. It made me happy so i thought id post it incase it could help even one fellow aro :) maybe it will. I hope so.

[rolaplayor101]

Since a new chapter of Bleach has come out for it's 20th anniversary, I think it's a good time to remind people that Ichigo Kurosaki is Demiromantic 😌

[acelor-acetaylorswift]

Assorted aromantic flags

Had to clean up my camera roll 💚

🖤💜🤍 this is acelor where we document every time Taylor has looked like the asexual flag (black, grey, white, and purple stripes) or aromantic flag (green, black, grey, white) 🤍💚🖤

[aro-culture-is]

greyromantic culture is when your sister tells you that she thinks your friend has a crush on you, so later you go up to your friend and say "my sister told me that she thinks you have a crush on me" and not seeing why anyone would have a problem with that

.

[gray-culture-is]

The last one of these I did apparently made a lot of people happy, so here's another! Aspec people? You're amazing, have a great day. Aspec people who are sex/romance repulsed? You're amazing, have a great day. Aspec people who are sex/romance neutral? You're amazing, have a great day. Aspec people who are sex/romance favorable? You're amazing, have a great day. Aspec people who just aren't sure, but know they fall on the aspec? You're amazing, have a great day. Aspec people who have partner(s)? You're amazing, have a great day. Aspec people who are in QPR's? You're amazing, have a great day. Aspec people who fall somewhere in the middle? You're amazing, have a great day. Aspec people who want to spend the rest of their lives alone? You're amazing, have a great day. Aspec people with kids? You're amazing, have a great day. Aspec people who want a partner someday? You're amazing, have a great day. Aspec people who experience attraction sometimes? You're amazing, have a great day. Aspec people who are allo too? You're amazing, have a great day. In conclusion, you're all amazing, have great days.

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

Hi. I have a question about the aro spectrum and I would be really grateful if you would like to offer me some advice.

I found out about the aspec community a few months ago and right away started to identify as ace, it felt like it was the word I had searched for for so long. Now I'm questioning if I'm also aro and I'm feeling really confused about it all.

I can start off by saying I'm a really romantic person; I love the idea of romance, I love reading about it and I would really like to be in a relationship and experience it like the movies and books show it. I want the kisses, the cuddles, the handholding, the lingering touches, someone to wake up and fall asleep next to, someone I can leave cute notes to on the fridge and make them a cup of coffee in the mornings.

The trouble is I never seem to find a person with whom I want to share all of that. I've never had a crush on anyone. When I actively search for someone to have a crush on (this is something I just recently figured out not everyone does? Apparently crushes just happen to people? I mean, how??) I have twice found a person I could picture myself kissing (in a "yeah, I guess I could kiss her if it came to it" kind of way) and it was usually based on the fact that they were nice to me, not a sudden strike of romantic feelings towards them. I've never acted on it and the feeling was soon forgotten.

I was in a relationship some years back. It was my best friend who kissed me one day (for me this came out of the blue) and admitted to having a crush on me. I had never thought of her in that way before the kiss but I told her anyway that I had had a crush on her as well, just because it felt like that was expected of me and I didn't want to lose my best friend and it seemed to make her happy. I loved being in a relationship with her and we did all the usual stuff romantic couples do (like kissing and cuddling etc) and I was a very cheesy girlfriend. I loved her, even though it was quite a toxic relationship in the end, she cheated on me multiple times and we broke up after a couple of years and since then I haven't had any relationships. I still don't know whether I loved her romantically or if I just loved the feeling of being loved, if that makes sense?

So now I'm really confused about it all. I have all of these romantic ideas in my head and I would really like a girlfriend to share them with, but I can't seem to find anyone to target my feeling towards. I've tried dating but it always felt awkward and uncomfortable so I gave it up. For a really long time I thought I was to picky with my crushes but since I started to learn about asexuality and aromanticism I started thinking. Could that mean I'm aro? Or gray-aro? Cupio-aro? Gray-recipro-aro? Is it even possible to have multiple microlabels? Or does these romantic ideas mean I'm not aro, I just can't find someone?

Sorry for my very long rambling and I'm sorry if I've totally misunderstood the concept of aro. I've tried reading about it but I'm still really confused by it all. I just know that for the first time in my life I've started to feel like maybe I'm not as broken and weird as I've always felt like.

I would be truly grateful for any advice you can give me! Please only answer to this if you want and feel comfortable to and when you have the time!

Thank you in advance! And thank you for this blog, it has been very helpful now that I'm trying to figure out who I am.

You absolutely can have more than one microlabel. You can have them all, if you think they fit!

I don't think you've misunderstood the concept of aromanticism at all - it's experiencing little to no romantic attraction. From what you've told me, it sounds like you experience little to no romantic attraction. Therefore, you could be aro!

If you decide you are aro, it's perfectly fine to leave it like that, without a microlabel. However, if you would like to label your experiences further, it definitely sounds like all three of the micorlables you mentioned might be good for you to use, especially cupio and recipromantic! Having 'romantic' ideas does not mean you're not aro, not at all. The only thing that might mean you're not aro is experiencing frequent romantic attraction.

No need to apologise! I'm glad your perception of yourself is becoming more positive - and, you know, if finding out about the aromantic community makes you feel like that, chances are you belong here :)

[romance-evil-aro]

Romance neutral aro culture is only being into people when you can be bothered (for context I'm demi/gray-aro since I realize this may pertain to only some aro-spec people)

[demiguy-culture-is]

What is a grayaroace??

I guess this came up since it's on my personal info post - I'll gladly give a simple overview

Just to fully break this down for everyone in case someone hasn't ever heard this term/parts of this term..

This is going to be a rather simple info post, so I'll attach a few resources here and there if you want to further explore the various labels.

Aromanticism

Aro, or aromantic, is an umbrella term and as defined by the LGBTA Wiki is "a romantic orientation defined by a lack of romantic attraction"

This does NOT mean that aromantic people or people who exist on the aromantic spectrum are love- or emotionless. They can still feel and experience love in various forms.

People under the aro umbrella, can still be sexually attracted to others.

People who do not exist under the aromantic umbrella are alloromantics

Resources:

@aromantic-official

@aro-culture-is

Asexuality

Ace, or a asexual, as defined by the LGBTA Wiki is "a sexual orientation defined by a lack of sexual attraction"

People under the ace umbrella, can still be romantically attracted to others.

People who do not exist under the asexual umbrella, are called allosexuals

Resources:

@asexual-society

@ace-culture-is

---

Being aromantic and/or asexual is does not need to be a binary thing, it doesn't have to be all or nothing. Being either/or can be an experience that exists on a spectrum. There are many sub-labels

E.g. (THIS IS A NON-EXHAUSTIVE LIST)

- Aroace, when you identify with both the aro AND ace labels

- Grayaro, a general term for being on the aromantic spectrum

- Grayace, a general term for being on the asexual spectrum

- Grayaroace, general term for being on the aro AND ace spectrum

- Demiaro, "a romantic orientation on the aromantic spectrum defined as someone who does not experience romantic attraction until they have formed a deep emotional connection with someone"

- Demiace, "a sexual orientation on the asexual spectrum defined as someone who does not experience sexual attraction until they have formed a deep emotional connection with someone "

- Demiaroace, BOTH demiro and demiace

ETC.

---

I hope I've covered the basic info about the labels.

I personally ID as grayaroace (I also use demiaroace, but I like to keep it more vague just because of how much it really fluctuates)

[aroace-autie-culture-is]

Grey aro autie culture is never being able to tell if your “crush” on someone is actually a crush or just wanting a connection with someone

Greyro autie culture

[demiro-ace-culture-is]

Demiro / grayro ace culture is feeling both a traitor to the aromantic community cause you are very much in love with your romantic partner (even if it's the first person you had feelings for in years) and to the asexual community cause you have an important physical/sensual attraction towards them (even if you still are sex-repulsed)

it rly is :(( im sorry hon, you're so valid <3