#grey aromantic

[that-girl-glader]

Read this and got jumpscared cause I thought I wrote this for a hot second(not really but this is literally like my experience.) When people ask I say I've only ever had 3 crushes in my entire life and that was within the past 2 years. Like my first crush was last year august. And it's insane to me. Like obviously I can like people and maybe even feel sexual attraction BUT it's not the same as with allo people. And people barely even know that about me. I'm still an Aroace voice. I still value my identity so much because it's such a large part of who I am. And I also feel erased a lot of the time. But that doesn't stop me from shutting up about who I am.

Being somewhere on both aro and ace spectrums and having a partner is such an odd type of erasure. Like up until accidentally starting to date my current partner, I'd always just say "I don't really date" if people asked about my romantic life and just left it there. I knew that I was so rarely romantically attracted to people, it wasn't never, but the number of people I've been romantically attracted to in my entire life is maybe three? My partner is one of the three, so I ended up having this cute person that I'm romantically attracted to and now share large portions of my life with, but my identity hasn't changed. Our relationship is the rarity, not the normal for me, but now when people ask, and I tell them I have a partner, that larger portion of me that doesn't always understand why other people are so set on having a partner or why there's so much stigma around being single, is just erased in that person's eyes.

I was happy alone and didn't feel like anything was missing. I'm also happy with my partner. But I just hate that the aro (and ace) spectrum parts of my identity become invisible as soon as I mention my partner.

[aroacearchangel]

hey. do whatever you want btw. it’s your identity. kiss people for fun. enjoy sex. nobody’s stopping you. being aro and/or ace doesn’t mean you have to be repulsed by romantic or sexual activities if you don’t want to.

and also! things only mean what you meant them to mean. you can have platonic sex and platonically make out with your friends. it’s true. just be sure to communicate so that everyone involved understands and you’re good.

[genderqueerdykes]

i want to see more asexual, aromantic & aspectrum representation this year during pride month 2024. we've been made to feel like we're not queer at all, and when we are seen as queer, we are pushed to the VERY bottom of the priority list, seen as not as queer as others, or not a priority because we do not suffer from any kind of oppression.

i want to break the silence on this matter this year. even if an aspectrum person isn't affected by any sort of societal oppression, they still deserve to have a space to talk about how they experience their identity. having a complicated relationship or no relationship at all with romantic feelings and relationships in a society that guilt trips people into developing romantic relationships starting in their teens is not in line with our societal view of what is "normal" and "correct". constantly being told that you "haven't found the right one" is harassment.

Not experiencing sexual attraction, refusing to have sex, or having a complicated relationship with sexual feelings is 100% queer and outside of the norm in a sex-obsessed society that guilt and mocks people for not having experienced it, and at the worst of time, forces it on people, telling them that they'll have a changed opinion of they just experienced it for themselves. being guilted or forced into interacting with sexual media or having friends try to force you into sleeping with someone is harassment and assault.

having a complicated relationship with gender that results in someone feeling agender, whether they have no gender at all, or have a gender that feels partially agender and partially another gender often results in someone being told they're confused, or have no idea what they're talking about. many people refuse to acknowledge someone who totally lacks a gender identity, or identifies with gender neutrality.

aplatonic people are frequently told they are losers, or just have anxiety or are experiencing their feelings due to depression or something similar. aplatonic people are told they do not understand their own feelings, when it is a very valid experience to not experience platonic feelings or have a very complicated relationship with them that leads one to feel happier not engaging in those relationships.

these are very real issues aspectrum people face. even if an aspec person doesn't face these problems, they are still queer. they are still aromantic, asexual, agender, aplatonic, or some other like of aspec. you don't get to tell them how they experience their identity, and you don't get to tell them they're not queer or don't experience hardships and denial of their identity. i want to see more people talking about and accepting these identities in 2024. no more pushing aspectrum people to the back, we are here in the front with everyone else, shouting alongside you. we all deserve to be heard- including asexuals, aromantics, agender people, aplatonic people and other aspectrum folks. we are all shouting for our rights together. let's shout for each other, too.

[samsayswhatever]

Shout out to the people who wake up a woman and go to bed a man. The the people who wear lipstick and have a beard. To the people whose gender is complicated. To the people who need a minute to think about it. To the people who don't really care. To the people who never stop thinking about it. To the people whose gender and sexuality are the same thing. To the people who like people in a way they can't explain. To the people who don't like anything. To the people with a thousand crushes. To the people who never had one.

[isobug]

So the state of Virginia has "Virginia is for Lovers" as it’s tourism tagline. A friend and I thought that editing the logo to be Aromantic would be Incredibly Funny and I'm happy to say we were right. So here's some Aromantic Virginian pride edits.

General Aro / Aromantic flags

Arospec / Arospectrum flag

Aroflux

Demiaro / Demiromantic

Greyaro / Greyromantic ( or Grayaro / Grayromantic )

Litharo / Lithromantic

and finally, a template for any flags I didn't include!

Free for anyone to use anywhere as always because this is just for fun; I don't need credit but I'd Love ( ha ) to see if anyone else makes anything with these so feel free to tag me if you do !!

( This is just a silly joke for a friend. I don't claim to own anything about this logo and if this already exists than I'm sorry, please link me to OP !! )

If you want the exact border outline to make flags with white stripes more visible, the line is just a 3px layer style stroke effect that's the same color as the letters. Be Free.

[scribe-cas]

Any other aroace people feeling this one in the club tonight

idk my wife and I were discussing actual traditional romance and I brought up how feeling "crushes" came across as feeling physically ill in my brain and due to that it was so sensory overloading any fragment of an irl experience of it was just unpleasant and unnerving for me. Like trying to eat a raw oyster

Like yeah wow your brain is telling you this is good and so are other people! And maybe it could be if you changed some things or made it differently or tailored it to your tastes but even though you know you could make it more tolerable, you aren't really sure you could ever like it.

Because sure. Hypothetically, it sounds like it could be good.

But right now, you're feeling something that's so unsettling it's making you physically nauseous.

And that's all you can think about.

Idk food for thought. (Ba dum tsss)

[aceoffangirls]

You know sometimes I doubt being on the aromantic spectrum but then I hear people talking about dating for fun or being in a relationship even if they know it won’t last and realise I would only be intrested in a romantic relationship if it would be endgame and would skip the dating aspect and just like be in love

[bisexualsafespace]

smashing amatonormativity doesn't mean adding qpr's to amatonormativity

it means smashing amatonormativity! no relationship is inferior to another!!

a qpr is that a platonic relationship that is "queer" as in different from more common platonic relationships.

[iwantsomefries]

i have now accepted something about myself

(By “accept” btw, I just mean I’ve debated this for a long time since I’m not a typical arospec person, therefore I feel like I’m less valid to talk about it. That’s all!)

[cowheist]

Aro and Ace fantasy flag designs! A tree going on a walk and a dragon playing cards.

Please remember to check out “I Spade You” on Kickstarter for more aromantic and asexual content!

It’s an anthology (collection of short stories and comics) all created around the theme of asexual relationships (romantic and platonic). My comic “Killer Arrow and Ace Assassin” is in there, so I’d really appreciate you checking it out :-) it has an aro-allo and allo-ace queer platonic partnership between the two main characters.

Here’s the pitch for my comic:

Arrow and Ace are partners in life and partners in crime. The two assassins need to go under cover on a dating show in order to hit their target, the bachelor. Between contestant interviews and speed dates, the aromantic and asexual duo might need to step out of their comfort zone to not blow their cover. Please back the Kickstarter to see their story published!

[cookthepenguin]

being aroace is so hard sometimes. there’s a guy in my class I’m 100% sure is gay and he tried to make moves and he’s really cute and I wish we could have something but I’m just incapable of loving the way he’d like it and now I feel like a horrible person.

and we can’t even talk about it because he isn’t out (and apparently no one sees it)

pls someone shoot me

[aroacearchangel]

at any point in time i become so overwhelmed with adoration for my friends that I wanna kiss them but if it’s read as romantic i will feel violently ill

[genderqueerdykes]

aromantic and asexual people are not inherently "miserable" or "unhappier" than other people. we are not "missing out" on something- if we do not experience these feelings to begin with, we have nothing to "miss out" on. the only time that aromantic and asexual people are miserable is when we are forced into relationships or forced to believe we "need" to be in one to be complete. destroy this argument in your mind- aromantic and asexual people define our happiness. we are not inherently miserable, we are doing just fine

[leresq]

How and why is 'im not attracted to anyone' or 'im not attracted to most people' controversial on the eve of 2024 the year of our lord.

[matcha-milo]

Was I the only aro-spec person who had the experience of thinking that I had crushes growing up, but looking back, they might not have been crushes because 1. I could never or only rarely name any traits that I liked about them (and those rare times that I could were traits that I simply admired), 2. I felt immense relief when they rejected me, or 3. I just wanted to have a crush, so I chose a person and consciously decided to develop feelings for them, not knowing that it doesn't work like that?

[genericartist27]

Hey, have you ever head cannoned a character as Aroace because you thought it would be a fun idea but then you realise that it might be bad to have the one Aroace character be the dumb one so you make the smart one Aroace as well since all your ships with him have fallen though the floor and you get invested on the conflict that could happened between them and then you make the dumb one Grey Aroace because you just learnt that there’s a different group and flag for that?

probably not but yeah fun story.