#Is this just me or is this an us thing
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Any other aroace people feeling this one in the club tonight
idk my wife and I were discussing actual traditional romance and I brought up how feeling "crushes" came across as feeling physically ill in my brain and due to that it was so sensory overloading any fragment of an irl experience of it was just unpleasant and unnerving for me. Like trying to eat a raw oyster
Like yeah wow your brain is telling you this is good and so are other people! And maybe it could be if you changed some things or made it differently or tailored it to your tastes but even though you know you could make it more tolerable, you aren't really sure you could ever like it.
Because sure. Hypothetically, it sounds like it could be good.
But right now, you're feeling something that's so unsettling it's making you physically nauseous.
And that's all you can think about.
Idk food for thought. (Ba dum tsss)
#aroace#aromantic#aromantism#arospec#aspec#acespec#asexual#aromanticism#asexuality#asexual aromantic#Aro#Ace#lgbtq#lgbtqia#lgbtq community#Is this just me or is this an us thing#Aros speak up#grey aromantic#grey aroace#Rahhh rahhh
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filipina miku!! my mom helped me with her outfit ^_^
#THIS TOOK ME FOREVER RAAHHHH#i had help from my mom with stuff like the parts of the traje de mestiza which is the outfit shes wearing#this trend looks so much fun and i wanted to join in.. im first gen canadian though so ive never been to the philippines and only#know thru stories of my parents growing up. im proud of my heritage but there are some things i didnt grow up with that#make me feel disconnected from my culture. so it was nice to talk to my mom abt it and ask for her help with this :3#the pleated tapis is meant to resemble her skirt.. i had no way of adding her stockings but i noticed the piano key design#so i used that for the saya. the bandana is meant to resemble her hairties and shes wearing bakya wooden slippers with embroidery#i kinda wanted to add the panuelo to resemble her tie as a finishing touch but i forgor ;w; just imagine it i guess#my mom really likes this. shes a little confused abt the blue hair and i had to explain her hair is like that but she thinks shes pretty#originally i wanted her holding the woven pamaypay and fanning herself because ITS HOT ITS 25 FUCKING DEGREES TODAY#but i couldnt get the pose right so i settled for this. i wanna draw her and brazilian miku high fiving ill do that tmrw#my art#myart#hatsune miku#miku worldwide#philippines#vocaloid#miku
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please i love you i'm begging you bring back suspension of disbelief bring back trusting the audience like. i cannot handle any more dialogue that sounds like a legal document. "hello, i am here to talk to you about the incident from a few minutes ago, because i feel you might be unwell, and i am invested in your personal wellbeing." "thank you, i am unwell because the incident was hurtful to me due to my childhood, which was bad." I CANT!!!!
do you know how many people are mad that authors use "growled" as a word for "said"? it's just poetics! they do not literally mean "growled," it's just a common replacement for "said with force but in a low tone." it's normal! do you hear me!! help me i love you please let me out of here!!!
#i am so sick of writers having to anticipate the most boring#bad-faith readings of their work. i am like - if you use cheese as a currency#okay! as long as the world makes sense to me: cool. cheese tax. moving on.#my job as the reader is to suspend my disbelief and say okay! i am so sick of like#fanfiction authors having to write dissertations#because they had an interesting idea they'd like to try out!!!#just write it! if it doesn't make sense that's someone else's problem!!!#PS OP is autistic. yes sometimes i take things literally at first glance. then i think about it lol#this is so clearly not about accessibility etc. it's about like. girl even i an autistic person#am able to understand ''they probably didn't mean his eyes darkened LITERALLY''
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024
#ramble#if you say unalive in front of me i will personally kill you with my hands#you just can't muffle and censor and hold someone's hand through some things#some things are horrible. and they should be spoken aloud and they should upset you. because they are horrible#the second we started kidzbopifying the world was the end of taking anything seriously i think#i'm not even joking i've spoken to people older than me who won't even say the world sex#this isn't the playground you're not going to get in trouble just let us say the word!!!!!!#how am i supposed to listen to you when you won't even say the thing you're supposed to be talking about#yes this is the fault of the platforms with their censorship rules but the fact that we all just go along with it like it's not dystopian#you do know it doesn't stop with cursing right. people are already having to censor queer terms because they get flagged as inappropriate
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"match my freak!" match my sweetness. match my benevolence. match my empathy. match my ability to feel emotions so deeply it tears me apart from the inside out
#me when the#when#when the#freaky#thoughts ୨𖹭୧#girlblogging#it girl#wonyoungism#girlhood#pink pilates princess#female insanity#girly tumblr#this is what makes us girls#girly stuff#im just a girl#girlcore#girlworld#girl things#girl thoughts#girl code#girl therapy#divine feminine#hyper feminine#hyperfemininity
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#girlblogger#girlblogging#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#hyper feminine#lana del ray aesthetic#lana del rey#lizzy grant#girl blog#girl blogger#girl interrupted#femcel#localy hated#girl interupted syndrome#this is what makes us girls#moodboard#lana del ray moodboard#girl things#adult human female#im just a girl#cinnamon girl#hell is a teenage girl#tumblr girls#manic pixie dream girl#dark femininity#divine feminine#female manipulator#female rage#female hysteria#sylvia plath#just like me fr
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as most girls do
#im just a girl#this is what makes us girls#coquette#female manipulator#girlblogging#lana del rey#girlhood#girl interrupted#hell is a teenage girl#lana unreleased#the virgin suicides#female rage#born to die#cecilia lisbon#just girly things#just girly thoughts#female hysteria#cinnamon girl#girl interupted syndrome#girl rotting#girl blogger#girl blog aesthetic#coquette aesthetic#coquette angel#bed rotting#this is a girlblog#this is girlhood#just girly posts#ultraviolence#made by me
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#girlblogging#girlblogger#just girly things#thought daughter#thoughts#this is what makes us girls#coquette#girl hysteria#hell is a teenage girl#lana del rey#ldr#ultraviolence#female manipulator#female rage#female hysteria#manic pixie dream girl#girl interrupted#the virgin suicides#lisbon sisters#sofia coppola#relatable#im just a girl#girlhood#so me coded#nonchalant#whisper girl
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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10 years later
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushi#itafushikugi#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#least heterosexual group photo ive ever drawn tbh#u have the kings of subtle pda and their judgy lesbian third wheel#this does remind me a lot of the kind of art i used to do jhgdjghdfj#specifically that one furuba main trio piece i did forever ago. same vibe better art#anyway......i tried my best........ i tried so hard#i do not know how old they look . the goal was 25/26 but atp i've gaslit myself into thinking they look the same#especially megumi im so . throws hands in the air in defeat#but idk what else i can do cries at least i like it??? i think???????#i don't know!!! if they look younger than 25 whatever!!!!!!!!#why is it so hard fr me to make chars look older im gna slam my head against the door#maybe its fine. idc <- (lie)#in other news itfs are married fight me abt it . yuuji rockin the right hand ring fr Lack Of Finger reasons#also i am Eating nobara's fit . she might also look a bit younger than intended the more i look at her gDI why cant i have nice things#new hairstyle carrying tbh. i think she would a. grow it out and b. switch the side she parts it on to make Seeing easier#god just take it all tht really matters 2 me is low pony nobara and Rings On Fingers itfs#i did my time in yoi i know how to make wedding bands Work
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#the perks of being a wallflower#tpobaw#gaslight gatekeep girlblog#just girly things#lana del ray aesthetic#girlblogger#coquette dollete#hell is a teenage girl#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#cinnamon girl#girlblogging#coquette angel#im just a girl#female hysteria#girlblog#this is a girlblog#this is what makes us girls#pink#coquette#girlcore#dollette#lana del rey#girl blog#female rage#girl blogger#lana del slay#literally me
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#girlblogging#coquette#girly stuff#hell is a teenage girl#this is what makes us girls#female hysteria#manic pixie dream girl#me core#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#just girly posts#girl interrupted#girlhood#black swan#screaming crying throwing up#this is a girlblog#just girly things
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it’s so awkward :|
#made by me#black swan#black swan 2010#nina sayers#natalie portman#ballet core#coquette#ballerina#girlblogging#cinnamon girl#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#girlblog#girlhood#hell is a teenage girl#girly things#girlblogger#just girly things#girl problems#girl blog#im just a girl#girl interrupted#girl hysteria#girlrotting#this is what makes us girls#this is a girlblog#female hysteria#female experience#female manipulator#female rage#just a girlblog
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#girlblogger#girly stuff#coquette#dollette aesthetic#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#girlblogging#coquette angel#coquette aesthetic#this is what makes us girls#cinnamon girl#manic pixie dream girl#girlhood#im just a girl#just girly things#just like me fr#lizzy grant#lana is god#locally hated#tumblr girls#bambi doe#sylvia plath#sofia coppola#dollcore#hyper feminine#pinterest
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#gone girl#girl problems#female rage#devine feminine#female hysteria#female experience#femme fatale#female manipulator#the feminine urge#femcel#cinnamon girl#cool girl#coquette girl#girlhood#manic pixie dream girl#girl interrupted#girl blogger#girlblog#girlblogging#coquette#girlblogger#lana del rey#girlcore#girlboss#just girly things#just girl stuff#dream girl#this is what makes us girls#literally me#waifspo
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