#got youtube recommended a video essay

[planefood]

Mine (like everyone elses) youtube recommended has been so shit lately i've been getting those art commentary videos with like a twitter drama screenshot in the thumbnail and titles like: "woke liberal mob forcibly transgenders baby yoda" or "artist draws a white anime twink, gets disembowled live on camera by lefties (real)" and it feels like i've been teleported back in time to the worst era possible but all the videos were made in the past 6 months or so and its so fucking... jarring. Draw a crudely drawn fat my hero academia character and these motherfuckers will make videos about you for the next 2 years

[heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon]

The only thing "insufferable" here is some shit ass muppit danny phantom v-tuber making a two hour long video calling vivziepops female characters "insufferable" and then having the goddamn audacity to lump goddamn fucking Star Butterfly in with the likes of Katara and Naruto as if those two insufferable weeb shits are even remotely on my girls level...

Oh and the fact that we as fans need to subjected to perceiving the existence of some insufferable attempt at a video essay on "Problematic Media" now in the related videos, every single fucking time we click on a vivziepop video or literally right after one ends....

Oh. and then sometimes just being jump scared by this insufferable leprechaun's asshole:

Your neo nazi gamer simping, crusty misogynistic arse has no place here, man! Let the girlypops make fanart if they want to! It's for them and not you!

[lemonaficionado]

For those wondering why Brennan Lee Mulligan rightfully makes modern-day capitalism the true villain of his campaigns, here's a 25 minute-long video essay on the 2005-released Blue Sky Studios film Robots.

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

That's very fair. I'm just forever haunted by pop psychology.

had a dream all of my friends were telling me to date a guy and then he turned out to be like a very fucked up scary arsonist. which could mean nothing (it means nothing, that's how dreams work)

[bikiniarmorbattledamage]

Silent Hill 2 is the greatest game I don't think I can unconditionally recommend to people. Because it is amazing, but its also about trauma, guilt, abuse (of adults and children) and how unhealed, festering harm perpetuates itself onto innocent bystanders. A play-through of it is a rough ride emotionally.

It also features this adorable little scamp with the excellent points.

Now, if you're at all familiar with Silent Hill 2 you're probably very well informed on what this particular meme relates to. But if you're not, and you want a primer - Dead Domain has created a video pointing out the absurdity of this particular fiasco.

This was, of course, followed up when trailer seasons came around and Naughty Dog released a trailer than seemed to depict a woman who didn't care for gender conformity, and CD Projekt trailer that indicates, let me check my notes... Ciri's appearance has changed slightly as she's grown older - also she's probably going to be the protagonist of the next game, as all variations of The Witcher always build to. This has lead to some truly amazing fan art, and also the greatest possible observation by @dyingnome

And this isn't a surprise to anyone who follows these conversations, I think it's worth talking about because certain events globally have emboldened these types (who always seem to be gulible enough to pay for a blue tick on X nee Twitter) - leading to them trying to shout out all other conversation on the medium. We are, in fact, at the point where they're admitting they are Nazis who don't play games.

Truly we have never had more confirmation that the people who aggressively campaign for a standard of cartoonishly over-sexualized as the baseline for female characters do so not out of a love of gaming, but rather because of overwhelming indifference to a medium they don't participate in.

@verilybitchie has recently just released an essay that focuses initially on disappointment with current trans, particularly non-binary, options in games, but also covers how we got there in terms of certain genres of games having been historically unwilling to to let go the male gaze.

This, of course, is not an excuse for the self-identifying Nazis etc, but goes a long way in explaining why your more normal friends might have a confused reaction, and highlights the kinds of issues in the industry that are still unaddressed.

Also, in case you're the sort of person who needs to hear it from a middle-aged or older white man:

-wincenworks

DeadDomain's YouTube | All dyingnome's links | VerilyBitchie's YouTube

[nyancrimew]

since this is currently kind of topical i feel like i should really recommend this Extremely good queer media analysis video essay by a small trans youtuber that i fortunately just got recommended to me by youtube! very well made and extremely thoughtful

go give it a watch!!!

[ohnoitstbskyen]

PINNED POST, FAQ, INFORMATION

Hi, I'm TBSkyen. I make videos on YouTube sometimes. This is my main tumblr blog, the "brand" blog as it were. I also have a sideblog called @tbposting which is for shitposts and reblog spam and the occasional funny observation.

You can find me in most places online as TBSkyen.

Here's my Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/tbskyen.com

Here's my main YouTube channel: https://youtube.com/@tbskyen

Here is my short-form YouTube channel: https://youtube.com/@tbskyenshorts

Here's my rambly spam-and-reactions channel where I will spend an entire whole hour frame-by-frame gushing over cool animation and such: https://youtube.com/@3bskyen

And here's my Linktree where all of those links are collected and easily accessible: https://linktr.ee/tbskyen

About Me

I am a thirtysomething content creator whose primary expertise is character design.

I have a bachelor's degree in English, never finished my master's, did most of a bachelor's degree in history, and that's it. These are my academic qualifications, no more and no less.

My professional experience is primarily being a freelancer and self-employed creator. I spent the better part of a decade working as a commission artist, running webcomics, drawing fanart, and the occasional animation work and not safe for work commissions, and I have at this point a decade of experience and self-study in the subjects I cover. I have also done online community management for, god help me, almost twenty years, so that's a part of my skillset I'll never escape.

I do not have any particular professional creative industry experience, although given what I hear from my professional friends, sometimes that seems like a blessing.

Please maintain a critical distance when engaging with my work. I am a critic. My work is very rarely meant to be taken as authoritative or didactic, and when it is, I will make it clear in my writing. Just because I speak with confidence doesn't mean I am trying to assert objective truth.

---

TAGS (to follow, or filter)

#tbanswers is the tag for every single ask I answer on this blog

#tb reblog is the tag for reblogs

#tb essay is for the occasional longer essay or critical writing

#tbvideos is for my videos and Content™

#tb recommends is for the occasional recommendation of a video essay or other creator

Yes, I know the spaces are inconsistent. It's not on purpose, I just typed them in haphazardly when I started using them and it's stuck.

---

FAQ (before you ask)

Q: Will you ever do a video about ____ ? A: The answer to this question is almost universally "maybe someday, if I have time, and if I feel I have anything worthwhile to say." And the more realistic answer is "no, because I already have far too much on my plate and I have burned myself out too many times." In general, please don't ask me this question, I will most likely not answer it because I have given the same answer a thousand times, but I still feel guilty about not answering them.

Q: Will you continue your series of videos about ____ ? A: Yes! I will continue the let's plays I started, I will finish the Boss Designs series, I will do another What's the Deal With, I will do more shorts about the subjects I've got going on. The main obstacle is, again, my tendency to overload myself.

Q: Do you have a PO box? Can I send you something? A: Not yet, but I'm looking into it. It may be a while before I get it set up.

Q: Do you have merchandise? A: A little bit, yes, at crowdmade.com/collections/tbskyen

Q: What's your opinion on [game/movie/comic/book/etc]? A: I struggle to answer very open, broad questions like this. Most things I have opinions about, I have multiple opinions, and different ones depending on the perspective and specific element in question. I'm much more likely to answer specific, bounded questions.

Q: Can I send you fanart? A: PLEASE. Askbox, tag me on bluesky, send it to my email! I love seeing every piece of it!

Q: Why do you never appear on camera? A: A forest witch cursed me to look not quite but ALMOST like Paul Giamatti in all photos and videos ever taken of me, and his laywers sent me a cease-and-desist.

Q: Are you gay/straight/bi/other? A: The decision I've made for myself, at least for this period of my life, is that privacy is precious, and once given up can never be reclaimed on the internet. I am open about being aromantic (not asexual), because it's a sometimes invisible and underdiscussed identity, and I know it would have helped me a lot to see someone speak about it when I was younger.

The rest of it is for me to know, and for you to speculate about, although preferably somewhere I can't see it. I accept that this is a part of being a Personality, but it still feels weird, y'know?

Q: Is it weird if I find your voice kinda hot? A: I've put a lot of work into developing this voice and making it nice to listen to, so that's not weird at all and I find it quite complimentary, thank you.

I generally don't mind people doing flirty/thirsty posting about or at me, just so long as we all understand that 1) you should never give a stranger like me information which could be used to harm you. Nicer-seeming YouTubers than me have turned out to be monsters.

And 2) it will never go beyond playful online flirtiness. I like to fluster my live chat, I'll flirt back in an ask or a post maybe, but I am not flirting with you, or inviting any kind of closer intimacy with you, the person I responded to.

Think of me like a comedian doing crowd-work at a show - you can chat to me in the bar after the show, but when I asked you what you do for work I wasn't looking for a personal connection, I was doing my work as an entertainer. Please no sending me nudes, or propositions, or confession letters in my email inbox. We are strangers, and I am always performing a persona in public.

[fatliterature]

The Streamer

Something was happening to Carlos. 

Before it began, he was an early 20s hoodie-wearing streamer boy. See his tub of protein powder on the shelf behind him, his laundry basket in the corner, his gym bottle reflecting the blue LED lights of his room. He had all the gear, the lights, the mic, a good brb animation, his subscriber count wasn’t crazy but he was happy with his progress. ‘What is uppp guys uhhhhhh I’m gonna stream some Fortnite tonight guys… but I also wanna watch some stupid videos on YouTube maybe?’ See his face framed by his hood. He’s cute, he has big dark eyes and thick eyebrows, lots of potential. This is the night he makes a mistake. ‘Okay okay okay lemme get up my YouTube okay I have uhhhh…’ He shares his screen with the viewers. There is a kind of guilty pleasure in seeing a streamer’s screen shared for a few seconds, a weird wallpaper, a messy desktop, how many notifications? He opens the browser and brings up YouTube. It’s the usual recommended videos, they look like yours, games, video essays, meme compilations. But what’s that? The bottom right hand corner. There is a recommended video. It’s on his ‘watch again’ list. The screen changes but it’s too late. The chat starts to react. ‘Uhhhhh what are you all talking about?’ There’s a long pause. Belly play video. Belly play video. Bro…. Belly play video? WTF LMAOOOOOOOOO. Bro is watching belly play videos whatttt. OMG. No. No, no, no, no. ‘Chill. Someone uhhhh somebody sent that to me as a joke chat literally chill.’ It’s fine. They’ll move on. They’ll forget it. Jesus why would the algorithm do him dirty like this. Last time he ever shares his screen on his YouTube homepage. Plus, it was TRUE, somebody had sent him it as a joke, and he had loved it, he’d laughed and watched it again, and again, and again. Each time laughing less, each time getting a little quieter, totally perplexed, and… curious. ‘OKAY guys, we’re gonna go to Fortnite.’ He thinks the moment is forgotten. But someone watching him won’t forget. 

It’s a few months later. And chat is driving him crazy. He had started eating on stream, just snacks and whatever. But someone in the chat was making it into a thing. 600 calories! The first time they did it he barely noticed. But the next time he ate… 450 calories! Was that the same person in the chat? 1800 calories!!! OMG yesss! Okay, so every time he ate something, they were gonna comment the amount of calories it had, kind of a weird joke. Also, what the fuck, this meal has 1800 calories? He finished his soda. 400 more calories! Keep it up king! Fuck. Something about this was making his brain feel funny. ‘Chat why is everyone calorie counting me? Let me live!’ He looked away from his game for a second and read the chat. We love it king. You should eat more. Everyone spam 5000 CALORIE GOAL in the chat right NOW. 5000 calorie goal!! 5000 calorie goal king Carlos!! You can do it! BANG! He looked back at his game. Game over. You placed #80th. ‘Fuck.’ How long had he been staring at those words? ‘Alright guys, clearly I suck at this game tonight.’ His heart beat a little faster. ‘You wanna see me reach 5000 calories by the end of the stream? Get me to 5000 subscribers! Then maybe I’ll think about it you fucking weirdos.’ 

It’s a few months later again. This is where it’s safe to say, something was happening to Carlos. He tried not to think about it too much. His audience of subscribers had grown, a lot. And they seemed to be in on the joke. It was a joke by the way, the calorie counter at the top of the screen, which had made the chat go WILD when he first put it up to make them laugh. Carlos found that the more he leaned into the joke, the more his subscribers grew. The more he did what they wanted, the more they came back for more. The more he ate, the bigger he got. And he had definitely gotten bigger. ‘I mean chat, look at me, you’ve made me blow up it’s not even funny, I don’t move off this chair and you want me to RAISE the daily calorie goal are you insane?’ He jiggled a little when he laughed. His brain felt funny a lot of the time now, it made him feel kind of foggy, to play along with this. But what was he doing? He had actually gained weight… and he had yes, gained a lot of subscribers too. And they loved it, they loved it more than the games he was streaming. His breathing got a little faster. What if my subscriber count just kept getting bigger? What if I kept it up? Could this be like, my gimmick? Ge could just let his chat decide how big…. His breathing got a lot faster. Up until this point, he had denied the semi erection that happened every time he started thinking like this. He tried not to think about it too much. But he wanted those subscribers, he wanted his platform to grow… he wanted…to grow. What? ‘Chat I think you guys are messing with my head.’ A long pause. The comments appeared… We just want you to be who you truly are - Calorie Carlos! Omg yes. Calorie Carlos… our fat streamer boy. Carlos felt dizzy. Calorie Carlos! Our growing streamer pig lmaoooo. Okay, his erection wasn’t going away. What the fuck was happening. He tried not to think about it, as he reached for the keyboard. He tried not to think about it, as he raised the daily calorie counter to 6000 a day, he tried not to think about it, as he lifted his hoodie, jiggled his belly for the camera, and changed his name to Calorie_Carlos. 

It’s a year later. The games Carlos plays are almost irrelevant. The calorie counter glows in the corner of the screen, it makes sounds and animates as it tracks his every meal, and every time it updates the chat goes wild. The more he gave in, the more he shared his growing belly and showed himself eating, the more every stream filled with responses. Encouragement. Looking good Calorie Carlos! Looking BIG. Keep growing! This changed the landscape of his chat. It…. turned him on, it KEPT him turned on. And eventually it began to change the landscape of his brain. Good streamer. Good piggy. Never stop. He couldn’t get away from it. The hazy brain fog that happened when he read these things, it became how he spent most of his days. Show your belly in the next 1000 calories king. Good fat boy! Eat more for us. What effect did this have on Carlos? He stopped worrying about why this turned him on, the validation he received from so many subscribers meant his mind was filled with encouragement and gluttony, it struggled to find space for anything else. His personality began to change. See his tubs of ice cream on the desks around him, his neglected gym gear pushed into the corner and hidden under empty pizza boxes, his 2 litre bottles of soda reflecting the pink LED lights of his room. He is Calorie Carlos. ‘What is upppp guys uhhhh URPP tonight I’m getting a HUGE fast food order and I’m gonna rate it all as I eat it, I know you all wanna see this massive belly when it’s full ha! Well, you’ll just have to keep watching.’

[read-marx-and-lenin]

Do you have any video essay recommendations? I find them more accessible for my brain than books but I haven’t found many good commie ones to dive into more theory. Tysm!!

I'm not a huge video essay person, but I do spend a lot of time on YouTube, so here are some of the communist creators I know about. While there are a lot of "leftist" creators out there, I'll be focusing on creators who are on the Marxist side of things.

Hakim is probably one of the bigger explicitly communist creators out there, and while I haven't seen every one of his videos, the ones I've watched have been pretty good.

Fellow Traveller is an underrated one, and while the quality of his videos is a bit scattershot IMO, he does some good deep dives into the history of various socialist nations.

revolutionaryth0t is a newer channel that I found out about recently, and so far her videos have been pretty high-quality for a channel that's less than a year old.

Luna Oi is a Vietnamese Youtuber who primarily focuses on presenting information about Vietnam for a Western audience. She's also got an ongoing translation project for translating Vietnamese dialectical materialism textbooks into English, with the first book already available for purchase or free digital download.

azureScapegoat isn't very active these days, but his videos on Cuba in particular were very informative for me when I was first "unlearning" capitalist propaganda.

Even less active, DPRK News Room is the channel that produced the documentary "Loyal Citizens of Pyongyang in Seoul" that you will see me recommending all the time, and while they have on average maybe one video a year, they have made some very good ones.

And on the subject of the DPRK, while this channel isn't explicitly communist and tends to avoid politics, DPRK Explained is a high-quality source for general information about the DPRK that avoids a lot of the anti-DPRK bias that a lot of Western sources tend to have. If you simply want to learn basic facts about DPRK history and DPRK culture without the sensationalism, you should check them out.

If anyone else has any suggestions or wants to criticize any of the channels I've mentioned, feel free to leave a note.

[arcane-strangeness]

idk actually you're not That Small

ushould get into the band gorillaz it was my mental illness when i was ur age

ok >_< why do you say that like I'm a kid

[lizawithaz-notlisawithans]

The Pitt Crew and their Preferred YouTube Rabbit Hole

Robby: Those survivalist dudes building homes off the grid. Also vintage watch collecting videos. It’s a hobby born from being Dr Adamsons mentee. He has a very small but unique collection.

Collins: Leather handbag refurbishing. She is a vintage bag enthusiast and enjoys watching the slow craftsmanship.

Langdon: He has two under four so he has watched every Ms Rachel video under the sun (his wife strictly prohibits cocomelon but he has caved a couple of times so he could have some peace). On his own, he is watching medical videos cause it’s easier for him to process than just reading journals.

Mel: She is a Trixie Mattel stan. She has watched every Unnnh video and jumps to watch every new Queens Who Like to Watch video that drops. She and her sister love watching Defunctland videos together.

Dana: Live concert footage from 80s/90s artists. She loves reading the sweet comments of people sharing stories about the song being their wedding dance or their passed lovers favorite song. She will share them on facebook with her own stories about seeing Springsteen with her sisters in 88.

Santos: She has the most chaotic Youtube Homepage of anyone at the Pitt. It’s MMA videos, video essays that just recap whole TV shows verbatim that are 6 hours long, music videos from queer artists and knife sharpening videos. Whitaker doesn’t understand a single thing thats going on.

Whitaker: Since moving in with Santos and wanting to earn his keep he has been watching all those internet dad teaches you how to unclog a sink/caulk a tub/fix your fridge videos. Other than that he loves watching soul train performances, npr tiny desks and music history video essays.

Javadi: She watches all the study influencers and has BIG opinions on who is legit and who is a phony looking for a cash grab. She also watches a bunch of lifestyle vloggers to lowkey live vicariously through. She loves Emma Chamberlain and her Paris vlogs.

Mohan: (sry this is so sad) She watches ASMR Hair Brushing/Massage videos to go to bed. She has a hard time falling asleep especially after an adrenaline filled shift. She watched one as a joke but it instantly relaxed and made her think about how her dad used to brush and oil her hair before bed when her mom worked late. (Not sad) Perfume influencers especially ones that focus on indie fragrances.

McKay: She’s watching Mr Beast with her son. She holds no opinion on him.

Abbot: he only watches videos people send him. Samira sent him a Ted Talk hosted by a journal author they were talking about. His therapist recommends guided meditation videos to help with his PTSD but he got bored and stumbled onto those dancing fruit videos for toddlers. He unironically loves them.

Ellis: She plays DJ sets (Chicago House/Louisiana Bounce/etc) while she cleans her apartment. She has few Loc influencers that she follows to find ways to make her wash days shorter and find new hairstyles.

Shen: He is a Dropout Subscriber. But he will still watch the old collegehumor sketches. If he’s feeling nostalgic he’ll marathon lonely island, BriTaNick and good neighbor videos.

Mateo: He is mainlining the most insane Youtube shorts.

Walsh: She ironically loves the dancing fruit videos for toddlers.

Garcia: old clips from the L Word. And she gets into fights in the comments.

Princess: recap podcasts for dating reality shows like Love Island/Bachelor/Love is Blind. The long shifts make it hard to watch every show but she needs to know the tea.

Perlah: She uses Youtube as her gym. Her house is chaos with her kids and pets but she will do her daily Chloe Ting workout!

Donnie: He loves those British guys who are amazed at seasoned food in America. Also grilling videos and reviews of smokers.

Please comment your thoughts on these characters youtube rabbit holes (tell me that im wrong!)

[cyanomys]

Hey TTRPG nerds

Anybody got recommendations for indie ttrpg youtubers? I'm looking for content that is broadly not D&D-specific, and not actual plays. So, video essays/reviews of games, how-to-plays, GMing/playing advice, game design, etc.

[buskingalbatross]

AmazingPhil channel marathon musings

during a pre-show q&a back in november, in response to a question about what show someone should binge next, dan said they should watch all of the AmazingPhil channel from the start. I was not the person who asked this (nor was I at this show), but regardless I did decide I wanted to take dan’s suggestion seriously. just a few days ago, I finished watching all of AmazingPhil in chronological order. and now i really want to talk about what it was like and why I would recommend marathoning his channel to pretty much anyone—because it was a blast.

I watched all of the 369 currently public AmazingPhil videos over the course of 35 days, which is from my perspective a pretty casual marathon. 369/35 = roughly 11 videos a day, though due to algorithm and monetization policy stuff, phil’s videos became longer in duration around 2015-2016; for many years, most of his videos were around 4 minutes long or less, which for me meant that early on in this marathon I was watching more videos per day, and then later on my pace slowed. phil’s videos with dan are usually pretty long as well, so if I had something like a baking video or wdapteo up next to watch, I might have only watched one or two videos that day. 

unsurprisingly, watching all of phil’s videos in order in a relatively short span of time gave me a really cool perspective on how phil has grown as a person and as a YouTuber over the past eighteen years. surprising to me, though, was how I felt like watching his channel in such a linear way felt a bit like coming to know who phil is for the very first time, again. despite having watched his videos for over a decade, i feel like i understand his style and creativity and personality more fully, and in general better, than I did before. watching 2007 phil become 2009 phil become 2011 phil and so on in the span of a few days or a week meant seeing clearly how his sense of humor evolved, how his editing and creativity developed, how his perspectives on life and relationship with his audience shifted. much as when you binge an entire tv or book series and immediately afterwards feel like you’re brimming with information, and have all the context, that’s sort of how I felt. and it was new for me because I’d never done that with phil’s content before—I’d never followed the course of his life the way you might a fictional character’s. 

AmazingPhil is also an incredible capsule of 2000s, 2010s, and 2020s Western internet culture, obviously. it’s like an anthropologist from the future with a very hyperspecific thesis topic’s dream treasure horde. what a person can learn about one corner of the world, and one corner of society, from AmazingPhil’s videos is, well, a lot. I see so much cultural value in AmazingPhil, it’s insane. his videos are not sketches, essays, and commentaries on society and life like Dan’s, but I’d make the argument (as I’m sure most of you would) that they’re just as important and critical to helping people understand themselves and the world they live in. and the kind of people they want to be, too, perhaps.

there were also certain videos that stuck with me more than they had in the past. I discovered new favorite videos and videos that I considered more interesting than I previously had. (I tried just now to make a list of some of these but it rapidly got too long, so instead I’ll restrict myself to mentioning only one, a new favorite, from 2021: “I Got Catfished.” - which i think is a fantastic example of phil’s storytelling style). dnp have both said before that they view life as a performance – and phil is without a sliver of doubt a magical and incredible performer. he knows so well how to tell stories with words, pacing, structures, and effects that are hilarious and entertaining; he turns anecdotes from his life into these amazing whimsical pieces of art made in a way no other person has ever made things. YouTube has from the beginning presented him with the perfect way to be creative in a way that suits him. and more than that, i found that it was never even remotely unpleasant to watch his videos every day for over a month. there is simply not an AmazingPhil video that doesn’t bring me joy and make me sit there smiling like a fool. my cheek muscles are probably stronger than they were 35 days ago. 

so, to you I say, go: watch all of AmazingPhil, draw your own conclusions from his current oeuvre and deepen your parasocial relationship with Phil Lester in ways you cannot yet comprehend. I really recommend. 

(final notes: one side effect of watching all of phil’s videos was being unexpectedly yet thoroughly convinced he does indeed possess psychic talents. even though i don’t believe in magical anything, i do now believe phil lester inherited prescience from his grandmother.) 

(also dan is completely right that every time phil changes his hair, he regenerates into an entirely new man.)

(also also I made an AmazingPhil spotify playlist that is highly specific to my music tastes but that anyone is welcome to listen to all the same) ✨🐗💙🥱

[catras-breakup-song]

catradora's canon status turns 5 today. i also turn 20 today. 🪅

i've spent an entire quarter of my life, a whopping 25% of it now, loving the center focus of she-ra and what this show teaches us...

it's actually pretty wild for me to think too deeply about. truly, it can't not mean something absolutely special (if i love myself, of course) when that much of a coincidence is actually reality.

this story isn't just a hyperfixation, it's a permanent part of who i am. it's shaped my later teenage years and helped me through hard times consisting of confusion and loneliness. i resonated better with catra & glimmer than any other fictional characters i had known before or would ever know since then. i found the art style soothing to stare at all the time. i appreciated the words of comfort we're supposed to internalize. it's been a consistent source of familiarity when i needed nothing more than to rewatch the same scenes repeatedly.

the online community surrounding western queer animation, and particularly this piece of media, kickstarted my hobby of collecting video edits, up to the thousands, that many talented creators have made, on an external drive. unfortunately i lost that project over the summer last year and it devastated me deeply, however i never stopped keeping track of my favorites and supporting the works i loved as i continued coming across them, such as this one to “the great war” by @somanypetals, which i will never stop recommending to others here ─ you can also go through my tag for this topic if you'd like! in fact, i also got back into video editing myself for the first time since 2021 last month!

additionally, it wouldn't be an authentic CBS post of mine if i didn't highlight how beautiful five by five takes' analysis videos on youtube are to me. their writing is a top-tier heart-wrenching gold mine and i've lost count of how many times i've rewatched through that playlist again and again. if you love this masterpiece as much as i do, you'll do so tenfold here. i still remember watching the first part of the series, "how she-ra gives us hope", when it was brand new, and i love bragging to fellow friends about being one of 5X5T's earliest subscribers from this fandom!

i (sort of but not really, which is a long complicated story on its own), came from the traumatized wave of angry voltron/KL fans. thankfully i didn't struggle with trusting the writers to follow through on the groundwork they laid down because it had only been my first fandom and therefore i hadn't been hurt by queerbaiting multiple times, but i say this because it was a big deal when she-ra's finale showed something on screen that could not be taken away or undone. catra & adora's romance helped me find peace & pride in my lesbian attraction. although i ended up not being homosexual despite failing to realize it for another year, i am still very much sapphic and wouldn't trade that gift for the world!

speaking of which, one of the best things you can find in a partner is the relatability of a common interest that brings out the emotional connection between you. i've seen @bluedandylyon around before, but i got to know xim more closely on the SPOP creative flex discord server after i jumped in activity there about a month and a half ago (and i only started being active on this blog again after creating it in 2022 back in august last year, it's amazing what that did for me). the two of us genuinely could not have clicked better with anyone else and i believe we were always destined to stumble into each other eventually. i don't know why the universe decided that time was to be so recent, but after spending half a decade single it's been very exciting to finally leave that break behind. because of SPOP, i asked them if they wanted to date on lesbian visibility day (april 26) and something within me renewed to make me the happiest i've ever been! 💟

my thoughts are too scattered and unorganized for this to feel like a proper essay of some sort, but i know i needed to get this done in time and i enjoyed it. i can't appreciate enough how much my identity, the core essence of who i am inside, has been shaped by this 50-episode cartoon. a simple love letter could never cover how important this reboot means to so many people, even if mattel still refuses to acknowledge it. ⚔️🌈💖

[v1lsxe]

𝓑ETTER 𝓒R ✷ ; intro

born under the southern sun with a heart full of poetry and fire, she grew up dancing through sun-drenched streets and scribbling lyrics on napkins. VIOLETA [...] has always been one of the most creative amongst her peers. well, passionate. passionate is the word. the kind of passionate that speaks with no rush, takes out her watercolors at 2 a.m, and falls in love with songs before the second verse. the kind that rewrites the world using a camera and the media that shapes her.

she's equal parts old hollywood glamour and barefoot rebellion - a walking contradiction wrapped in aguayo and smudged lipstick. violeta doesn't just live, she performs life, humming through the quiet and soaring through the chaos. always a dreamer, always a doer, she channels that fire into everything she touches, whether it's a song she's composing or a vlog capturing her latest musings.

and if you ask her where she's going, she'll probably say "everywhere" with a smile that makes you believe it.

violeta was born on the twenty-eighth of may, two thousand and four, in the warm, electric heart of santa cruz, bolivia—where the air hums with music and the streets remember everything. raised between cultures, sounds, and stories, she grew up with the kind of rhythm in her bones that couldn’t be taught. by the time she was seven, she was humming guitar solos and reciting poetry in two languages. by twelve, she was making films in her head and teaching herself three more.

now fluent in six languages and probably an actual genius (or so some of her teachers think), violeta is equal parts brain and heart—cultured, curious, and chronically creative.

A GIRL WITH HEADPHONES IN EVERY SCENE ✷ if you ask her friends, they might say her first love was her long-term boyfriend, ramón herarte. if you ask her, however, she’d tell you it’s music. because music is violeta’s first and truest love—classic rock is the religion, but she’ll find something to adore in almost any genre. if it makes her feel something, it makes the playlist. she plays guitar the way some people pray, and there’s always a song stuck in her head—though she’ll never complain about that. she’s got the kind of taste that makes people ask for her recommendations and then lie about having heard them.

CINEMA FOR THE SOUL ✷ film isn’t just a hobby, it’s a language. she watches movies the way some people read tarot—searching for signs, symbols, truths that hit too close to home. her mind holds scenes like stained glass, and she’s always noting the lighting, the way someone breathes between lines. she’s a romantic and a critic in equal measure. if it moves her, she’ll write about it. if it doesn’t, she’ll still find something to say. it was no surprise when she chose to major in film after graduation—everyone already knew the girl was born for the arts.

YOUTUBE: PART DIARY, PART REVOLUTION ✶ her youtube channel is a patchwork of her mind—video essays that spiral into poetry, vlogs that feel like long phone calls at midnight. it’s part film school, part diary, part nonsense. one week it’s a deep dive on coming-of-age tropes, the next it’s a quiet montage of city lights and thoughts she can’t quite name, and next is her ranking movies she watched this year based on how much they made her want to walk out the theater. nothing is ever just surface-level. every video is laced with feeling, framed like a scene, and backed by a soundtrack that always, always hits.

INK STAINED FINGERS & CALLOUSED HANDS ✷ when she’s not stringing together sentences or scenes, she’s probably playing guitar until her fingers ache or sketching lyrics in the margins of whatever paper is nearby. her notebooks are messy and sacred. she pours herself into every word, every chord, every late-night brainstorm that turns into a masterpiece before morning.

AT THE COURT ✷ oh, and she plays basketball, too. for the school team. she’s not loud about it, but when she’s on the court, she’s a force. focused, graceful, fast. the kind of player you don’t notice until she’s already made the shot. athleticism meets artistry—because of course it does.

violeta’s better cr !

[gffa]

I don't usually watch pretty much any Star Wars YouTube video essays because I like myself far too much to put myself through that kind of torture, but I watched one from a YouTuber I regularly watch and suddenly my recommendations were full of videos about Why The Acolyte Was The Worst Star Wars Show Ever and, given my complicated feelings on the show, I couldn't resist my curiosity, so I watched a handful. It's been an interesting experience. I agree with some criticisms that were pretty universal (the characters did things because the plot demanded it, not because they felt like organic decisions) and disagreed with others (Mae's decision to prioritize Osha over the Sith made perfect sense to me), but it was a glimpse into an area of fandom I don't usually go into and the kind of arguments formulated and how they present their views. The feeling I was left with is that there's a lot of really salient points being made, but also that I really felt like a lot of people got swept up in how much they hated the show that they refused to admit that some stuff was actually fine, even beyond that the lightsaber fights were loved by the vast majority. It's just a constant search for more things to be mad about or say were dogshit when there's already plenty to work with. I didn't really feel the need to defend the show or jump on the hater bandwagon and I think that's the two biggest lessons for me: 1. Ultimately, there were things I liked and things I didn't like, but after a week out from the finale, I can't really muster up the energy to get into the cage match myself. 2. Star Wars YouTube essays make me feel nothing, I was so bored, where's the pizzazz, where's the passion for loving something even when you're mad about a disappointing show, where's the spark?