#got me 20 years old and not knowing SHIT about alcohol

[maybeamiles]

Someone direct me to resources on how to order alcohol without making a fucking fool of myself cause I ordered a Gin and Tonic today thinking "oh, this is similar to other drinks I've had, alcohol + soda base" and learned that A: it literally tastes like the gross sticky fluoride the dentist used to put on my teeth because my insurance didn't cover the kind that didn't taste BITTER AS HELL and B: it's apparently an old lady drink (unlike beer which reeks and I've been avoiding for a while).

[chrisstopherfilmed]

🍒 CAUGHT 🍒

Nate doe x sturniolo reader

Summary: Chris, Matt, and Nick catch their little sister y/n and their best friend nate drunk making out in her room after a party they had. Will they be mad? Will Nate and them still be friends?

A/n: first storyyyyyy🌸🌸 also if its bad just tell me Pleaseeee

Warning: NOT PROOF READ

🌸🌸🌸

Y/n pov:

You walk in your front door with party supplies for the major rager you’re throwing tonight for your 17th birthday with the help of your older brothers Nick, Matt, chris, and the best friend Nate who you’ve been seeing lately without them knowing.

Nate and you have always had a thing for each other, but lately you and him have been alone a lot more and 4 weeks ago when you and him where in your room and this all started, he kissed you.

Of course you kissed him back, both knowing that your bothers, his best friends where just up stairs. Things got a little heated and it turned into and really hot messy make out sesh.

But things stopped when you heard your brothers coming downstairs. That’s when you knew, sneaking around with Nate doe was gonna be one of the hardest things you could have ever signed up for.

You were only 2 years younger than him so when you really think about it, it’s not that bad. But to your 20 year old, overprotective, bat-shit crazy brothers, Oh it was the worst thing you could do.

You take your shoes off and set the stuff on your kitchen table. You walk over to the couch to find Nate, Matt, Chris, and Nick all playing fortnight. “Hey” you say pretty loud over the tv that is now blasting from gun shots. They all ignore you.

“HEY” you say even louder talking a pillow and throwing at Chris who had the controller in his hands. “WTF Y/N WE WERE JUST ABOUT TO WIN” Chris yells at you dropping the controller and leaning back on the couch, rolling his eyes dramatically. “If you couldn’t tell we were playing a game” Matt chimes and chuckling. “Guys stop being rude to her it’s her 17th birthday” Nick says rolling his eyes hitting Chris in the head.

“I got all the things we need for tonight. Cups, food, party essentials, ect” you say proudly with a smile on your face as you sit down a little to close to Nate. Matt and Chris give each other a look and Nick grabs you scooting you closer to him.

“I hope you know your NOT drinking tonight” Nick says “yeah there’s absolutely no way we are letting you drink anything but chocolate milk and apple juice” Chris says laughing “maybe just chocolate milk apple juice is a little to grown” Matt says laughing along with Chris’s

“Ok so you all can drink and I just have to sit there and look stupid at my birthday, great thanks” you say sarcastically looking at Nate, Matt, Chris, and Nick. “Whatever you all set up and I’m gonna go get dressed for tonight, I have to look hot for ALL the boys that are coming” you say getting up walking towards your room.

“I hope you fucking know if one god damn boy puts there hands you, 1 your fucking grounded and 2 they will be knocked the fuck out” Chris says. You roll your eyes and close your door.

-later-

7:30

“Shit shit shit” you say rushing to do your makeup and tie the shirt you had on. You hear the boys setting up around the house and you slip on your shoes and touch up your make up. Your wearing a white tube top, with and black leather mini skirt and some converse while your hair is curled.

Nate’s pov:

Me and the boys are setting up for y/na party. Putting out cups plates. All the necessaries. Matt bought drinks, alcohol and non alcoholic. We are about to head out to get some food.

“Nate will you go get y/n so we get go get food before the party” Nick says from the living room. “Yeah sure” I say walking over to y/n’s bed room.

Your pov:

You hear your door open assuming it’s one of your brothers telling you to hurry up. “Wow babe you look gorgeous” Nate says. You turn around and Nate grabs your waist closing the door behind him. He leads down kissing you. You kiss him back putting your hands around his neck and going on your tip toes to reach him better

He trys to slide his tongue into your mouth but you pull back out of the kiss. He groans from loss of touch. “Not now nate, your gonna mess up my makeup” you say arms still around his neck and on your tip toes.

“HURRY UP Y/N” Matt yells from the living room were all 3 boys are waiting for you. “IM COMING JESUS WAIT A MINUTE IM PUTTING ON MY SHOES” you lie so they wouldn’t suspect anything with you and Nate.

You and Nate walk out of your room. Chris drops his Pepsi and Matt’s face hardens. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WEARING” Chris screams so loud the neighbors could hear him “oh yeah be a little louder I don’t think the guy down the street heard you” “are you fucking serious, no go fucking change right now” matt says with a look of disbelief on his face

“I think she looks cute, guys don’t be so hard on her she’s 17 now we can’t baby her forever” Nick says “yeah Nick thinks I look cute” I say with a pouty face as I spin around so matt and Chris can see me whole outfit.

“Oh my god Nick do you not see how much fabric is on her body, like none” matt says trying to convince Nick to make you change. “Literally like 2 inches of fabric is on your body” Chris chimes in.

“Well your shirt is cute at least” Nate says trying to lift the mood “thank you” you say with a sheepish slime on your face “yeah I agree, for a stripper” Chris says rolling his eyes “CHRIS” Nick yells hitting Chris’s arm

“Can we just get in the god damn car and get the damn food” you say already annoyed enough “fine, and you can wear the outfit but so help me god if 1 boy even looks at you, your not coming out of your room for the rest of the night” Chris says walking to the door while you all follow.

-later at the party-

The music is blasting, everyone is dancing, drunk, and having a good time. This is one of the best birthdays you’ve had. And to spend it with your brothers and Nate makes it even better

“I can’t believe they haven’t caught me drink yet I’ve had like 5 drinks already” you say to Nate who has had only 1 drink. “Yeah well Nick and Chris are also a little drink and matt is too worried about clean up after everyone so I think your good” Nate says chuckling while holding your hand where no one can see.

“Follow me” you say with a smirk as your grab the tie Nate had on pulling him into your room. As you both into your room you close the door slip of your shoes and push Nate onto your bed to were his sitting on the edge.

“Mm I like were this is going” Nate says with a smirk as you climb onto his lap. “Yeah?” You say as you start to kiss his neck. “Yeah” he says. You start to take off his tie but he stops you. “Are you sure you wanna do this? I don’t want to take advantage of you while your drunk” “yes omg just shut up and kissing me” you says laughing.

He deepens the kiss, sliding his tongue in your mouth. You let him not even trying to fight for dominance. He makes you feel like you’re floating on air by the way he kisses you. You just can’t get enough.

His hand slide down your waist to your ass lifting you up a bit. He scoots back on the bed to were the back of his knees touch it. You slide your cold hands up his shirt and he jumps a little making you laugh into the hot, breath taking kiss. You pull back and just stare at him for a second.

Letting reality hit that your in a hot, handsy, make out sesh with all your brothers, best friends. And you could get two shits if they cared right now. You slam your lips back onto his and continue.

Chris pov:

Nick and matt try to help me find y/n. She’s been gone for a little bit and I can’t seem to find Nate either. “Guys I can’t find Nate anywhere either” I say worried something happend “you don’t think-“ matt says with a gross expression on his face “no they would never” Nick says

“They barely hang out” I say with a worried face “well do you really think it’s a coincidence they both went missing at her party” matt says “yeah y/n would never leave her own party” Nick says worry plastic on his face. 

My heart drops just the thought of my best friend and my younger sister. Chills run throughout my body and my head hurts. I run to her room scared to open the door.

“Matt you do it, I can’t” I say shaking. “WHAT NO IM NOT DOING IT” matt says grossed out “move idiots I’ll do it” nick says grabbing the door to open it

Your pov:

You and Nate are still making out but a little more heavy now. He’s now fully on your bed laying down with his shirt off. You’re on top of him, hands in his hair. His hands fully up your skirt but were your skirt isn’t up on your ass.

He flips you over and starts kissing and biting your neck definitely to leave marks. You turn your head away from the door to give him more access. As he’s biting on the sweet spot on your neck you let out a little moan.

Then you hear the door swing out and you both stop and swing your head to the door jumping off each other. Your heart stops. You’re still a little drunk but you can feel the emotions flooding to you.

“What. The. Fuck.” Nick matt and Chris says standing in your doorway. You and Nate look at each other and you jump off your bed running to your door to explain to them what they just saw.

“Look ik this looks bad but I promise I can explain”you says grabbing Nick 1 because his in the front and 2 so Chris or matt couldn’t get into the room. “Y/n let go of Nick right now and go downstairs to my room” Chris says looking like he wants to rip Nate’s face off

“I promise I can explain just please-” you say before matt cuts you off “y/n if you don’t get the fuck to Chris’s room right god damn now I will have Nick drag you down there” matt says with his jaw clinched so tight he could break a tooth

“Please just let me explain” you say before Nick grabs throwing you over his shoulder and drags you down to Chris room. “LET ME GO” you kick and scream “fine” nick says and throws you onto Chris’s bed, closing Chris’s door and locking it so you couldn’t get out

-15 minutes later-

You assumed Chris matt and Nick kicked everyone out because there was no more music playing and all you could hear was them screaming at Nate. You were still a little drunk, and laying on Chris’s bed made you tried.

You started to close your eyes with your arms crossed and curled into a ball. All you heard was Nate getting ripped (screamed at) by his best friend’s about how he was dating their younger sister without them knowing.

And that’s the last thing you remember before falling asleep.

🌸🌸🌸

A/n: SORRY SORRY IM SO SORRY FOR THE CLIFFHANGER, but lmk if yall want a part two and I hope yall liked this cus it took soo long and comment if you wanna be on the tag list for it😭



[wtchland]

Summary: A long night at the grocery store, shifts itching to its end. A recent college graduate just tryna save for her big move when her former professor finds himself grocery shopping just before closing.

Paring: Prof Joel Miller x Reader

Warnings: Protect P in V, Age gap 20 year old graduate & her 50 year old professor, Teacher x Student, Pet names (Bunny, Baby Bunny), No character description other than mention of tramp stamp and a peachy ass, Flirting, A dumb romcom moment, Cursing? No proofreading cuz we don’t do that around these parts, Mentions of Drinking, Self Roasting, F oral receiving

A/N: I forgot I was writing about a college girl for a moment. So what, sue me.

Graduation

The time for you to put on your last college party outfit and drink your night away. Except. Work waits for no one.

In addition to your graduation night it was also the night your petty bitch coworker Miranda called in sick. And you could use the extra money before you quit your job and move to Austin. So now you’re spending your Friday night bent over restocking ground beef.

“Nice tattoo”

You jumped up being greeted by a grin. Joel Millers grin. Or at least as of a few days ago Professor Joel Miller’s grin.

You pulled up your low rise jeans, not like they could go up any higher without a camel toe.

He looked different off campus. Almost hotter. Messy hair, flannel. Definitely here for a quick dinner and some alcohol. Except that’s not exactly how you imagined him outside of school..

Not that you imagined him much. Besides that one time he popped up in your head right before you squirted a few months ago.

Joel cleared his throat. Shit, you’ve been staring for a while.

“Sorry, did you need anything”

Joel raised a eyebrow looking you up and down. He liked when you wore jeans too small for your peachy ass. He really liked when you wore form fitting shirts to match and show off your tattoo.

“Yeah bunny, wheres the beers”

Bunny.

Imagine that voice calling your bunny while he pounds your pussy 6 ways to Sunday.

You pointed to a cooler in the back and he nodded with a grin. Ever the southern gentleman

You watch him walk away while you bite your lip and squeeze your thighs together feeling your pussy throb. If he was any other regular hot man you would've bent over immediately no question but he was your professor he probably didn’t even remember your name let alone your face.

10 minutes till closing. You sat at your register when Joel comes up with a case if beer, a wine cooler and small groceries. Along with a pack of condoms. You stand up and start scanning.

“Got a hot date?”

Joel started bagging his groceries “Sunday Night with a thing called Television Football” You smile and roll your eyes scanning.

“So why aren’t you partying bunny?”

You looked up surprised. He did know you. He did know you were his student. You help him bag his groceries slowly “Well I’m moving more into the city plus someone called into work late so i figured hello extra money.”

Joel nodded with a small hm in a acknowledgment before asking another question. “No one should have to work and sleep on their graduation night.”

You shrug and ring up his total. Joel hands you the cash “Though, your night doesn’t have to be boring. You’re young, hot and have ass for days. Sex saves people bunny. Go have some”

You don’t know if it was the fact that your professor just told you to go have sex or it was the fact that you decided you wanted to have sex with him that baffled you the most.

But you’ve never closed up a register and clocked out so fast in your life. You searched the parking lot for him before you saw a chevy starting.

You asked yourself what dumb bitch runs in a parking lot for some middle aged dick like it’s a romcom. Apparently you. But that would just have to be your secret.

You knocked on the driver window before he could pull off and he rolled his window down with a confused eyebrow.

You didn’t even know what to say. Let’s have sex? Weird. Do you wanna have sex? Shy. Let’s go fuck. Absolutely the fuck not.

“You forgot your receipt.” The fuck? What fucking receipt.

Joel looked at your hands “Did you loose it”

You nodded immediately just going on with whatever so you could just run away and never see him again. Joel unlocked the truck door.

“Unless the receipt is a metaphor for please fuck me I don’t think you ran all the way out here to give me a receipt”

Did he speak incoherent 20 year old girl? This man was a damn dream. A perfect salt and pepper heaven. You did the slut of shame walk all the way to his passenger door climbing in.

Joels loft wasn’t the messy bachelor condo, pool table in the middle of the living room and panties hanging on the wall place you were expecting. It was earthy almost, neutrally brown with real watered plants and books for days. It was pretty.

Could this man get any hotter. No sexier. Is there even a word? You walked around his living room while he puts away groceries.

“Hungry?”

You shook your head. You just wanted your panties pulled down and your pussy on his dick asap. Joel pulled out his phone. “Pizza okay.”

This man. Feeds you. Teases you. Needs to bend you over.

Joel on the other hand was having fun. Watching you squirm. Smelling your arousal in the car the whole drive. Watching as you let out little whimpers every bump because you’re thong had accidentally rolled inside your pussy lips rubbing your clit. He knew when he got you there you were gonna be a mess.

“Wine or Beer bunny?”

You’re gonna need something stronger than both if you have to put up with anymore teasing.

You flop on his leather couch.

“Whiskey”

Joel walks over with two glasses. You down yours immediately looking over at him. You envy how collected he is. How he isn’t uncomfortable and squirming. Joel sets yours and his glass on the table before pulling you on his lap. Ge smells of whiskey and cologne.

Joel lifted your chin kissing you. It was everything you could dream. Sweet, demanding.

You moaned wrapping your arms around him. You felt that grin against your lips as her pulled you closer. The friction of your jeans against his your panties and your jeans against your clit.

You reach down unbuttoning your jeans and joel grab s your wrist pulling away and tutting. “Patience Baby Bunny. Patience.”

Screw him and patience. You needed him immediately.

Joel lays you down on the leather sofa slowly pulling your jeans down. “You smell so fucking strong baby”

In that moment all the slowness escaped from his body and he snatched your jeans down. His big thumb rain across the bow of your panties. Admiring them for a moment before snatching them off.

His hands roughly hiked your legs up and he plunged two fingers inside your snatch. Your breath hitches and your back immediately arches.

Joels fingers feel like heaven. 100 percent than your toys and all you can’t think about is if his fingers feel like this you cant wait to ride him.

“That’s it bunny. Just like that”

You ride his fingers. Wishing he would pull out and replace it already. After a moment of moaning and the wet sounds of your soaked pussy Joel pulls his fingers out.

You whimper and sit up on your elbows watching as he walks to the kitchen digging through the earlier bags. You continue to whimper your impatience.

“Joelll”

Joel grins walking back over “What did I say about patience bunny? Bad girls who don’t listen get bent over the knee. Do you want to be bent over the knee bunny?”

You shake your head immediately. Though the idea of Joel redding your ass to the point where you cant sit down sounds super fucking hot in the moment.

He snatches your legs to the end of the couch and unfastens his pants unbuckling his belt with the same steady movements he’s too good at. The condom slides on just about immediately but at this point you’re so embarrassingly desperate for him you would let him fuck you raw.

Just feeling of Joels tip of his cock alone had you moaning like a bitch in heat. The leaking thick head had your mouth watering at the sight.

Joel sunk in deep. No words were said. What could be said? Thank you for pounding my pussy do well? Thank you for giving me your big cock.

Your moans were music, a song to Joels ear. The way you weathered against his ministrations made him fight to bottom out immediately.

So when Joel felt you clench him through the condom when he felt you close he knew he wanted to wait it out. Wait until his bunny got what shes been begging for all night.

You reached for his hands squeezing them to death. He grunts holding your hands above your head. “Take it bunny, take what you need. Its all about you tonight”

Three more thrust and you cum hard. Harder than the dorm room squirt session. Harder than your first orgasm. Harder than your first toy. And Joel follows right behind you.

He stands there for a moment catching his breath before getting on his knees and licking you clean. You tremble and as soon as Joel finishes he grabs you up by your waist carrying him to his bedroom. He lays you down amongst the huge windows and the king sized bed.

Joel sinks down in bed next to you pulling you in his arms and kissing your forehead before mumbling “Best graduation party?” You give a incoherent response already falling asleep.

This wasn’t gonna be the last leg shaking orgasm your former professor is gonna give you. But it’s definitely the best graduation send off you’ve ever gotten.

[profoundbondfanfic]

do you have any destiel horrorfic recs?? (prefferably longfics with little to no smut but i can skip smut scenes)

also i love ur account ive found some of my favs on here/gen <33

Here are a few that came to mind (most with very skippable smut):

A Complete Kingdom by komodobits (Explicit, 85k words)

The sea; it swallows me. It comes up to my knees and it swallows me. The boys owe Jody a few dozen favours, and so when her niece goes missing near an old fishing village on the coast of Maine, Dean, Sam, and a newly human Castiel agree to take the case on. They settle into an old abandoned lighthouse-keepers' cottage, and slowly the tide comes in. (post-s8)

Between Love and Agony by Duckyboos (Explicit, 53k words)

Dean Winchester is in love. Like, bonafide heart eyes and deep sighs, hung-the-moon love. There's just one problem: the lucky guy is his husband's identical twin, Castiel. The two of them have been having a kinky affair for years, burrowing under each other’s skin and setting up camp. Which is why, after Castiel goes missing, Dean’s about ready to tear the world apart looking for him. When Castiel eventually returns to him, he’s been through literal hell, managing to drag himself out, bloody and raw, for Dean. Together, they discover a way to make Castiel whole again — though the price will be gruesome… and there will certainly be hell to pay.

empty places by dothraki_shieldmaiden (Mature, 71k words)

There’s something outside the house. Something is moving outside the house, moving inside the house. Maybe moving inside him. Something is outside the house, and it wants in. After tragedy derails his life, Castiel Novak needs to escape. He flees to Lawrence, Kansas, where he answers Dean Winchester’s ad for a roommate. There, he tries to mend the shattered pieces of his life. But as he starts to become closer with Dean, Castiel finds that escape isn’t so easy. The past doesn’t want to be left behind, and there’s something inside the house. Something hungry. And it won’t be appeased until it has him.

Every Part of the Animal by Askance (doomcountry), komodobits (Mature, 47k words)

It’s their first case after the Trials, after Heaven has collapsed: playing back-up to another team of hunters taking out some werewolves in the mountains. It's a routine job, an easy job - at least until the radio goes silent. Sam, Dean, and Cas follow after, but the caves into which the hunters have vanished wind deeper and darker than they could have expected, and something is wrong. Cas can feel it. The Winchesters may not believe what he’s hearing, but there's something down here with them—and it's not the people they came here to find, and it's not the werewolves they've been tracking. It's something else, something older, something violent, and it knows they're here.

Full Fathom Five Thy Father Lies by Ariasune (Teen and Up, 13k words)

"Look, Charlie thinks the Men of Letters have something that can help you actually, you know, find this monster.” “Good,” Dean licks at his thumb to get the last of the chicken salt clean. “Cause right now it seems like we’ve got a monster that’s some 20, 000 leagues under the sea…” He stops. “This isn’t some 20, 000 leagues shit is it?” “It’s a submarine, actually.” Fuck, that sounds like a yes.

Good Bones by emmbrancsxx0 (Mature, 39k words)

An apple pie, white picket fence American Nightmare. Dean and Cas, married and semi-retired from hunting, move into their first house together in a sleepy, secluded town. After a few run ins with the ghost that haunts the place, they must come face-to-face with the house's grisly past.

like a thief in the night by kingdumbass (Mature, 28k words)

Plagued by nightmares since the death of his mother as a small child, Dean Winchester is no stranger to grief. After the sudden death of his brother and the unexplainable disappearance of Sam’s fiancee Jessica leave Dean reeling, the former detective turns towards alcohol to cope with the loss, but when the news of another missing peron’s case all the way out in Pontiac, Illinois jogs Dean’s memory of an old unsolved case with possible connections to the mysterious note his brother left behind, he feels compelled to pick up where he left off. Though once he rolls into town, he encounters more questions than answers. Namely: what’s real and what’s delusion? And how is the creature from his nightmares tormenting the residents of this small, suburban town?

On the Cutting Room Floor by callsigntango (Mature, 23k words)

In an Arachne hunt gone wrong, Dean "wakes up" in an AU style world as what he'd gone undercover as for the hunt: a journalist. But when he shows up to cover what should be a routine story on a suspicious death in Kansas, the world around him starts to unravel in horrific, painful ways. The appearance of a man claiming to be an Angel sends Dean into a tailspin -- but just as something about Cas begins to spark very real memories in Dean, Cas seems to be losing his own grip on what's real and what isn't. And as they struggle to free themselves from this distorted web of reality, something sinister is lurking just beyond their reach.

The Elevator Game by bexgowen, xfancyfranart (Explicit, 88k words)

The game is simple. Get in an elevator, and follow the rules. If you follow them correctly, the elevator will rise and when the doors open, they will open onto a world that is not your own.

the gardener by captcas (Explicit, 17k words)

Dean loves the gardens at 918 Westview Lane. And if that has something to do with the gardener there that just so happens to be easy on the eyes? Sue ‘em. Too bad he hasn’t had the guts to actually talk to the guy. Cas doesn’t take too kindly to people who disrespect the objects of his affection but he does love gardening. AKA the one where Castiel gives us all a lesson in ultra-specialized begonia fertilizer

the inexhaustible silence of houses by Askance (doomcountry) (Teen and Up, 31k words)

Almost two years after the world doesn't end, Castiel falls from grace—and loses his voice in the process. It is the impetus for confession and change; before long, he is settling into a loving relationship with Dean, the Winchesters are tired, and hunting for a place to land has taken precedence to hunting anything else. Dean and Castiel fall in love with the strange little house on the end of Swallowtail Drive, and for a little while life is as it should be—sweet, affectionate, and beginning afresh. But more and more Castiel sees and hears things in the house that beg the question of whether or not a place itself can be alive. The walls and rooms seem to shift and grow and breathe, and one night, Dean comes home from a hunt changed in a way that Castiel cannot explain. In the months that follow, their domestic bliss takes turns for the dark and sour, and the confusion of their circumstances will ultimately test everything Castiel knows about the man he loves, and everything he believes to be true.

These Violent Delights by SomethingBlue42, xfancyfranart (Explicit, 43k words)

Dean Winchester, war vet and functioning alcoholic with a life that’s going nowhere, takes a job at Baltimore Hospital for the Criminally Insane. Dean had never heard of Dr. Castiel Novak notorious serial killer and cannibal given he’d been dodging bullets and performing field triage during Novak’s sensational trial. Seasoned orderly Rufus lays out the rules: Do not touch the glass. Do not approach the glass. You pass him nothing but soft paper - no pencils, no pens. Use the sliding food carrier only, no exceptions. If he attempts to pass you anything, do not accept it. And most importantly: don't tell him anything personal. But Dean was never much for following the rules and Castiel has a way of making Dean feel like he isn’t the grade-a loser his hot-shot FBI agent brother thinks he is. Then, a senator’s daughter goes missing, setting forth a chain of events that put Dean on a path that forces him to choose where his loyalties lie and just how far he’s willing to walk into the dark.

There's also our horror tag which you can check for more fics like these.

Additionally, there's the DeanCasHorrorFest filled with amazing destiel art and fic that might interest you.

[swappingbryn]

Contest Winning Halloween Costume

My name is Derek, and I everyone around here knows my name and gives me as much space as I demand.

Halloween was coming up and I had secured an invitation to a highly exclusive party, obviously invite only, filled with hot chicks, free drinks, and the best part was the costume contest with a $10,000 prize. The rules were simple, “Best Costume Wins, No Holds Barred.” I had an idea, I’d need my buddy’s help, but he wasn’t invited to the party and I’d cut him in on the prize money if it work.

My plan was to go to the party in a different body, the ultimate costume. My buddy’s dad worked for a government research company that had perfected the technology. Before I even started looking for a body, I made sure all the body swap trope shit wouldn’t be a problem, like it wasn’t a one way trip, there wasn’t an issue with a body swapping back with itself, if the machine was destroyed we wouldn’t be trapped and there were other machines capable of doing the swap in case one malfunctioned.

Satisfied, I went about finding the best, most different than my own, body. I found it as I was leaving the gas station, he was a guy asking for change on the side of the road. He had to be close to sixty, his clothes were dirty and looked greasy, and I could smell him as I approached. I gave him a $20 and asked if he wanted to make more. He thanked me, but looked suspicious and asked what I meant. I explained my plan and offered him $200 to swap, and an extra $250 if I won using his body. I explained that it was safe, that all the safety protocols were in place, that there was no risk. He just laughed and said “it seems like if anything happens, I don’t need to worry about being safe, I’d be making out pretty well.” I guess he was right haha.

We went to the lab and initiated the swap, and it went off without a hitch. I walked out of the room in his old, smelly, dirty body. When I got to the party, I was stopped at the door (which is a good sign that I’d be winning the contest, since no one recognized me), but I presented the invite and explained who I was, so I was let in. I was definitely in a great position to win, no one recognized me, and when the host questioned me, I pointed out he specifically said “no holds barred,” which made him laugh and reply “you’re right bro, you’re right.” I spent the night drinking (which didn’t do much to me since I guess this hobo has a high tolerance), hitting on chicks, who weren’t into it since I looked gross. When the contest winner was announced, it was no surprise I won. The host even said “I know it’s seems like a cheat, but I did say ‘no holds barred,’ which I meant to mean much less drastic measures, but still, his WAS the best costume, no one would ever guess it was him.”

I collected my winnings and decided to leave soon after. Chicks were ignoring me, alcohol didn’t work, other guys avoided me saying I smelled, and this body ached all over with age and years of abuse on the streets. I went back to meet my body and swap back. He wasn’t where we agreed to meet and I freaked out, he was supposed to wait for me and not leave. However my fear subsided as he walked over, saying he didn’t expect me back for a while. Turns out while I was gone, he’d gone to the gym with my buddy who had helped us swap, my body said on their way back he stopped to get a drink from the store, and apologized for using $5 from my wallet. I was so relieved and just laughed, I told him not to worry about the $5.

We went back to the lab and got ready. I gave my body the money and kept his $250 in his pants, and he placed my money in my jacket pocket, since after the swap we’d both have our money. The machine whirled and flashed, but nothing happened. We tried it again, I felt it working, but nothing happened. I asked what the fuck was wrong, and my buddy’s dad said there was a problem with my body, it was resisting the swap. This homeless fuck was preventing us from getting back. He promised he wasn’t doing anything, he was ready to swap back, he knew it was only fair.

My buddy’s dad ran some tests and said he figured out the problem, turned to me and said “it doesn’t look good,” before looking at my body and asking “do you want to swap back?” “Of course, I have to give him his body back, it’s only right,” my body replied. “That’s not what I asked. Do you WANT to swap back or would you rather stay like that?” “Well, I mean, I obviously like this body more. I’m younger, better looking, I don’t smell, and people don’t walk away from me to avoid me. But I know I can’t keep it.” “See Luke, that’s the problem. He is willing to return your body, he’s consenting to it, but he doesn’t WANT to swap back. The machine wasn’t calibrated for a forced swap, and we can’t change that mid swap. Since his mind doesn’t want to swap, the machine won’t do it.”

That was almost a year ago. That fucker has been in my body all that time. He has been living as Luke Potter, the hot jock, the big man on campus. He has been hooking up with everyone he can find, guy or girl, he’s been doing a little modeling and even became an OF star and gay findom.

And I’m stuck as Derek Grainger, the old, fat, drunk hobo. I developed a huge reputation at the homeless camp under the bridge. I’m ready and willing to fight any motherfucker that gets in my way. No one believes me about some swap, they think I’m just an old alcoholic that imagined it.

[slashv1xen]

Hiii! I have an idea in my mind, but you don't have to write about it!!!

Maybe Otis brings home a person he liked (not a victim, they met somewhere else) and waiting for them to realise about his deeds and THEN he can kill them because of their reaction. But the person is like "Oh, cool" and continues talking to Firefly family carelessly. What would be his reaction?

ooh this one got me thinking 💭

i reckon otis would be stunned, and have a blank expression on his face as he thinks why this person isn’t scared senseless. ‘what? how they ain’t scared?’

but if otis is interested in u he would probably have a smirk on his face and probably keep u around (ur also now baby’s best friend, good job!), but if not he’ll most likely kill u out of spite.

the two of u probably met in either a bar (this man is a heavy drinker), captain spaulding’s gas station or at red hot pussy liquor (he’s incredibly sleazy what can i say).

one shot 💗

“okay, enough!” you announced as you put the shot glass down, gasping from the taste of the strong vodka. the man beside you, who introduced himself as otis just laughed and took a swig straight from the bottle (much to the bartenders protests).

“what’s wrong honey, i thought you could handle this, hm?” he teased, chuckling at your annoyed expression. “not more than 8 fuckin’ shots!” you snap, in disbelief as he looked at you, amused.

“how about you come home with me, i ain’t so drunk i can’t give you a ride liar and my mama can fix ya somethin’ real nice. least i can do, especially after you paying.” you rolled your eyes at his offer, but a small smile on your face was present.

“fine, you’re right. least you can do after giving me damn alcohol poisoning,” you say, to which otis laughs and says that you’re being dramatic.

after 20 minutes otis pulls up into what looked like an abandoned farm house. if you didn’t know you’d think the house was derelict. the door happened to be unlocked, to which otis let out a grumble and pushed it open, the two of you stepping inside.

the house was a mess, to say the least. you stepped over the empty glass bottle and year-old newspapers and sat on the couch, smoothing over your pants. otis said that he’ll be back in a second, and for you to just “hang tight cutie pie”, smiling as you laughed.

after what seemed like a few minutes two women came down the stairs. a younger one, about your age, and an older one who looked about 55. they both sat down next to you and introduced themselves as “mama firefly but just call me mama” and “baby”.

you were chatting with baby about movies while mama was making you a “special meal”, when otis pulled you aside, a devilish grin on his face.

“well, i figured now would be a good time to tell you…” he started, purposely being slow to create tension (to be an asshole)

“yeah? what did you need?” you reply, looking back at baby who waved to you, and you waved back. otis sighed, that grin still present.

“i tell this to everyone that comes here, and well, none of ‘em have made it out…” you were confused, why was this man talking in riddles? “i’m gonna kill you.” he whispered in your ear, his hot breath on the nape of your neck.

“shit, really?” you ask, no emotion in your voice. he nods, waiting for your reaction. “okay, just make it quick then.” you shrugged and walked back to the couch with baby, chatting again as if nothing happened.

otis however, was dumbfounded. he just said he would kill you, and you didn’t care? how? he was so confused, he can’t even think straight. hell, he can’t even think at all. the smirk slowly returned to his face as he thought of his next move.

‘maybe we could have a future together…’

hi hi, this was so much fun to write! in my eyes, this is so in character and i can totally imagine something like this happening in one of the movies. please never shy away from requests, i’m happy to do anything (that is SFW ofc). have a good day and i hope you enjoyed!

[yannaryartside]

WHAT WE KNOW ABOUT CARMEN'S FATHER

and the impact of his absence.

This show has me like a fucking detective; if somebody has found more evidence on this aspect, like how nobody seems to know how old even Carmy is, please comment or tag. This is my first Tumblr post and a break from a long writer's block, the power of this show. I would appreciate tips on how to post, especially about how to tag sensible topics showcased in this show.

These are some of the things we know from Cicero's description of Carmys father:

Cicero is related to Papa Berzattos because he describes their father as "more a friend than family."

Did he die? It is safe to assume. Cicero says that they "were" close in age. It is pretty beautiful that Cicero is acting in a parental role to Carmy, even acting as his "provider" and "supporter," wanting the Berzatto family to finally catch a break.

Carmy explained to Cicero on 1x04, "I really didn't know him well enough to miss him." Based on that statement, Papa Berzatto was eighter really absent, or Carmy was like 5 at most the last time he saw him. He said he didn't "know" him instead of "remember" him, which makes me think more of the "absentee" angle; this also could be confirmed by Cicero saying that he saw Papa Berzatto about 20 years ago at the time the show takes place, and I think a safe bet is to assume that Carmy is at least 30 years old, so he was like 10 when his father died, but he didn't know him to much by that time. 

He did drugs/alcohol/gambling, and, again, according to Cicero: "insisted on doing fucking stupid shit all the time."

He had a new career like ten minutes: a broker, a defensive coordinator; eventually, he bought the restaurant The Beef, which Donna later had to be involved in (stuck by his husband), and then Mickey took over. My God, the restaurant is a generational curse. One of Carmy's cousins also owns restaurants, so it's safe to assume this got too many people inside the family, not just Carmy's brothers. 

Not but literally, Cicero says that being 5 minutes in the restaurant "makes him think about bad shit," like the place is actually haunted wtf. Obviously is haunted symbolically; Mickey, being there for most of his adult life, trying to "handle" the business, his parent's business, probably was a constant reminder of what his father was, or what he thinks he is, a failure, a disappointment, a burden, an embarrassment. The reason he consumed drugs. He seems to be defensive about his father when he said in 2x06 Fishes, "This is our father's home, my father's home," like something he had to stand up for, something that deserved respect, all of it while sitting at the head of the table, the place that his father will sit on if he was still alive. 

[static-radio-ao3]

@jegulus-microfic // august 12 // prompt: jealous // words: 669 // mentions of alcohol

The music is loud, almost unbearably so, which means Regulus has to lean into Evan's personal space to talk to him. 

"I'm gonna get a drink!" He yells into his friend's ear. When Evan nods in acknowledgment, Regulus moves away from the dancefloor and towards the living room where he can breathe a little easier. When a hand touches his elbow, he startles, but he relaxes again when he sees it's only Evan. 

"Sorry, did you also want a drink?" Regulus asks. The music is not as loud anymore, so he doesn't have to get all up close and personal with Evan anymore. 

Evan, though, seems to not have gotten that memo, because he drapes an arm over Regulus' shoulder, leaning in to talk into his ear.

"No, but I thought it would be funny to see how much we can rile Potter up. He's in the corner practically seething."

Regulus turns around so fast he swears he feels something pull in his neck. And sure enough, there is James Potter. The strobing lights cast his warm skin in shades of pink and blue. Regulus watches him for a moment, and James watches him right back. There's undeniable tension there, but Regulus can't quite put his finger on it, his thoughts slowed with alcohol.

James has a death grip on the neck of his beer bottle and Regulus is surprised he hasn't shattered it yet. He's curious enough to go investigate, so Regulus shoves Evan off him and ignores his cackle as he makes his way over to James. 

To investigate. 

Obviously.

"I never pegged you for a jealous man, Potter," Regulus says in lieu of a greeting.

"Please," James scoffs with a roll of his eyes, "I'm jealous of the spoon that feeds you soup because it knows what your teeth look like."

Regulus startles at that. James blinks back at him.

"Shit, sorry, was that too much? My brain-to-mouth filter is on holication," James slurs. "Wait. No, vacaday." He frowns at the floor, seemingly trying his best to get his words right. In the end, he simply settles for, "Away."

Regulus clamps a hand over James' shoulder and steers him towards the kitchen. "Let's get you some water, shall we?"

James only smiles at him dopily, happy to go wherever Regulus goes. Because James wants to be near him. Because that's a thing, apparently. Because James gets jealous of other men being near Regulus. And God, if that doesn't make warmth unfurl in his stomach.

The kitchen is empty, so Regulus easily maneuvers James to the sink and grabs a cup from the drying rack before filling it up and handing it to James.

"There you go, Potter, a nice cool glass of water." 

James simply blinks at him, as if he's not sure how he got from the living room to the kitchen. He's about to turn around again when Regulus grabs his wrist, gently holding it to keep James from wandering off.

A sigh, bone-deep and weary, even though Regulus is just a twenty-something-year-old wrangling a drunk guy at a party. He wishes Sirius were here to do this instead, but both Sirius and Remus had conveniently disappeared about 20 minutes after the party started. Regulus rubs a hand across his forehead. "James, please just drink the water. You'll feel better."

"Oh, I like that," James hums. He sways a little, unsteady, but dutifully reaches for the glass.

"Yeah, I bet," Regulus says, happy that James is finally cooperating a bit.

"No, I like when you call me James," he says. "Sounds nice, James."  The small smile curving up the corners of James' mouth turns sloppy and mindless, as if the mere mention of his name in Regulus' voice is enough to make happiness overflow. And oh, if that doesn't do dangerous things to Regulus' heart. 

"Drink your water and I'll call you James however many times you want."

"And when I'm sober?"

"Yeah, James, I'll call you by your name when you're sober, too."

[around1302]

XVII. YOU HAVE ME

SPARE PARTS: a series (17/20)

BOLOGNE, ITALY

(W) strong language, family restraints, alcohol use, fingering

good lord this has taken me some time to finish. i’m so sorry, life just got in the way. hopefully 4.3k of a smidge of angst and a fuck-ton of fluff makes up for it!

HARRY’S POV

“What’s the move for tonight?”

“You can do what you want, I’m taking Charlie out.”

Niall’s usual grin twists into a smirk, his eyes glinting. I resist the urge to roll my own.

I am taking Charlie out. Not that she necessarily knows that yet.

I don’t mean to sound like a desperate man, but I need Charlie and I to move on like I need air. I can feel her warming to the idea of me, but at the end of the day she still just sees me as her annoying bandmate who’s up to giving her an orgasm or two. 

I need to be more than that to her. I can’t be either nothing or just her temporary fix.

And if there’s one thing that’s apparent about Charlie, it’s that she’s a hopeless romantic. She doesn’t crave sneaking around and fleeting glances and meaningless moments. I’ve seen her face light up more from seeing a couple holding hands in public than when I’ve been literally going down on the girl.

In fact, in the time I’ve known her, she’s only ever dated one person – Zayn, which is also why this could get messy.

(But fuck him. I was there first).

“I’d love to say I’m surprised about this whole thing, but I’m really not.” Niall snorts.

I narrow my eyes, but before I can ask anymore questions, the guys barge into Niall’s suite.

“Fuckin’ Hell, Horan. You have it fancy in here.” Louis gawks far too loudly for the fancy establishment we’re in, but I have to say, I share the sentiment. We all have nice rooms (it’s the most expensive hotel in Bologne, for God’s sake) but Niall managed to bag da Vinci’s fucking shrine. 

Niall shrugs, sitting up with that mischievous flicker in his eyes.

“Lia still out?”

“Yeah,” Liam explains, “she’s dragging Charlie and Zayn round the shops. Tried to rope us in but we managed to escape.”

My chest tightens. I force it to relax.

Liam throws his legs up on the Ottoman, stretching out. After the show last night, we’re all exhausted. After nearly four months of touring, non stop performing and the consequential non stop partying, we’re all wiped the fuck out. It’s why Niall and I said no to their little day trip around Italy. To put it frankly: I can’t be arsed with the tourism shit when there’s a mini bar five feet away from me up here.

“Good,” Niall reaches behind him, pulling a small velvet box from his pocket.

“What the fuck is that?” I spit.

“This, my friend,” Niall flicks the box open. My suspicions are confirmed, “is about to get me the best head I’ve ever had.”

“Holy shit.” Louis grabs the diamond, making Niall fly up and snatch it back. 

“For real?” Liam stands too, while I’m still sat in shock.

“Why I got this fancy suite,” Niall’s as giddy as a kid on Christmas, “want to do it tonight. Italy’s always been her favourite place and I figure–”

“You’re twenty-one.” “Twenty-two this year.”

I scowl. Niall’s cheeky grin droops.

“Oh come on, man. Who cares how old we are? I know I’m gonna be with this girl till I’m all old and gross and grey, why not seal the deal now?”

“Because it’s insane!” I splutter. I’m not angry. Am I? Why am I angry?

“Hardly,” Louis sharply laughs, “they’ve been basically married since they met.”

“Okay, but being basically married and being actually married are two very different things.”

“Dude, don’t you think I know that? I have thought about this, you know.”

My jaw tightens.

My best friend is about to propose to his girlfriend, and I can’t say I’ve ever even had one. The girl I’ve been in lo– whatever. It doesn’t matter. The point is, I can narrow my anger down to one, ugly thing: bitter fucking jealousy. 

So, I do the mature thing; I storm out.

Luckily for me, the second I step out into the hallway – all heaving chest and unnecessary frustration – Charlie, Amelia and Zayn bump into me. They’re all laughing about something, a million shopping bags between them.

“Oh, hey man–” Zayn starts, but I cut him off by grabbing Charlie’s waist and pushing her in the direction of my room. The sliver of skin given to me below her crop top sends a spike through my spine. 

I don’t care that Zayn is probably about to start quizzing Amelia to no end, all I care about is the universe quite literally handing me the only person I want to talk to right now.

“Yo, what the fuck?” She twists, staring at me with what I assume is a mixture of vexation and confusion, but I’m too busy staring ahead to notice. Charlie doesn’t make a move to escape my grip (something I know she’s more than capable of doing), so I keep walking us to my room. 

I messily scan my keycard and grab her shopping, setting it down as carefully as I can in my haste before closing the door with her body. 

There’s something else I want to do before talk.

But, I hesitate for a moment, brushing my lips against hers. I silently ask for permission, pulling her toward me so her lower back lifts from the door and our torsos press together. She hesitates, too. Brushing her nose against mine before kissing me with as much urgency as I got her into the room with. 

I sigh into her mouth, completely wrapping my arms around her back to hold her flush against me. “Missed you,” I mumble against her lips, trailing my hand up to hold the back of her head. I rake my fingers through her hair, loosening her ponytail. 

“Missed you too.” She gasps, looping her fingers through my belt hooks.

I nearly let myself smile, but then she palms me over my jeans.

Quickly, I hold her wrist, preventing me from dragging her to bed and insisting we don’t leave my hotel room all night. “Go out with me.” I let the words tumble like a subconscious spill, letting my chest do all the work so my brain doesn’t have to. 

Frowning, she pulls back. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

I want to rewind and let her do whatever she wants with me. Why the Hell did I–

“Go out with you?” She’s smiling. She’s smiling.

“Yeah,” I feel my cheeks heating. I’m getting shy, for fuck’s sake. I don’t do shy. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve said those four words over the years, and I’ve lost count of how many people I’ve said it to. I don’t recall nerves ever being a factor in that habit.

“You realise I’m a sure thing, right?” She cocks her head, and I want to kiss the faint dimple that pops beside her lips. I settle for her bottom lip.

“I want to take you out.” I pull her lip between my teeth, bathing in the way she sighs. “Properly.”

“You’re having me on.”

“Nope,” I pop. I need to banish this shy thing. Fuck the shy thing. I realise our proximity might have something to do with that, so I step away, flicking the light on so I can see her properly. 

Her cheeks are rosy and her eyes are dark and her hair is mussed and– and shit. I’m so gone on this girl. She folds her arms across her shirt, and that’s when I notice the shirt. It’s my shirt – the one I gave her weeks ago, the band she claims to hate, the shirt I’ve dreamt about fucking her in ever since. 

The shirt which now rests just below her bra. 

“Oh,” she clocks my thought process – probably because I’m staring at her chest – and fumbles with the messy hem. “Shit, sorry. I never even asked if you wanted it back–”

“Never.” I murmur.

A pause. “What?”

I blink back to reality, back to her eyes. “I never wanted it back,” I clear my throat, try and regain some conviction, “the band sucks anyway.” I wink, she chuckles.

God, maybe we should just stay here. We could order room service and continue our theme of fucking in hotel showers and spend all night getting sweatier and sweatier in between the sheets and–

No! No. I need to take her out. 

“Be ready by seven.” 

I bend to pick up her shopping, handing it back. Charlie takes the bags slowly, looking at me like I just told her my name’s actually Bill.

Then, softly, nearly meekly, she whispers, “I thought we had rules?”

My lungs stop working. “We did. We do.”

Right – I’m not even considering her right now. I know what I want, and I know I want it badly. I need to learn I can’t just demand this. Sure, I’ve waited six years, but she sure as shit doesn’t know that.

Patience is a bitch.

She looks at me, scrutinising, studying. I want to read her mind, it seems to all work so complicated up there. A million bolts and cogs working tirelessly; I’d give it all up for just a peek. 

“I suppose I’d be pretty stupid to deny we’re at least friends at this point, right?”

I can breathe again. “Right.” I rush to say.

“So�� dinner as friends. Yeah?”

“Absolutely.” No, fuck no. “Bonding time.”

She purses her lips, seemingly amused. Nodding, she swivels from the door, palm wrapped around the handle and about to let me stand in my room and punch the air but…

“You sure you don’t want me to help you out first?”

Her eyes flicker accusingly at my crotch. Specifcally, my hard on, from just kissing the girl.

It’s like I’m fucking fifteen again.

I snort, pushing my tongue against my cheek to stop the habitual impulse to say something inappropriate. I want to scream yes, God, yes but I can’t. Charlie’s like some kind of kryptonite – one handjob will turn into one blowjob will turn into round after round after round.

“I’m good, love.”

Charlie scowls. “You’re really just going to try every nickname in the book, aren’t you?”

“That’s the plan, sweet pea.”

“You’re ridiculous,” she swings the door open, so before it slams behind her I shout a reminding,

“Seven!”

And then I stand in my room, and punch the air. 

“Jesus, Styles, this place is fancy.”

I smirk. “Only the best for a princess.”

“Hey–”

“I’m kidding! Here,” I let go of the small of Charlie’s back to pull her chair out for her, “sit, before you hit me.”

“I can still reach you from over here.”

I playfully roll my eyes as I take my seat. She definitely can. I made sure to get us a table hidden away, close enough for our legs to accidentally tangle and far enough away from anyone else Charlie doesn’t need to worry about people.

She’s always panicked about mobs. The first one was pretty traumatic I guess, and ever since she’s been the overly cautious one in public. Never seen without heavy glasses and an even heavier hoodie, so I made sure she wouldn’t be spending our first date (that is what I’m declaring that is, friends or not) in fear.

It’s not conceited if saying your name for a last minute res at one of the most established restaurants in Bolonge works. Fame has it’s perks, I’m allowed to admit that.

… I think.

Within a few seconds, a waiter comes over with a bottle of red I preorded on the phone. Charlie leans back, looking at me quizzitivley as he pours us both a glass and leaves the rest between us. We thank the waiter, and I gauge her reaction.

A pause. My heart awaiting a beat.

“I’m impressed.” She raises her brows, a glimmer of a smile on her rouge lips.

“Good,” I lift my glass, clinking it against hers before we both take a sip.

I let my eyes properly roll over her for the first time since I met her outside the hotel. It was too dark and too much of a rush to the car for me to drink her in, and God. She looks fucking edible. She’s wearing a strapless dress that lets my wind wander to every inch of skin I can kiss with her still in the thing – but, Jesus, stop. 

Tonight isn’t about that.

Quiet falls on us, because, well. What do we talk about if not for the security of sex or argument, if not for the safety net of anyone else around us? Here, we’re uninterrupted. In fact, no. We’re not anything.

We’re two people on a first date. We’re fresh.

“You know,” Charlie chuckles to herself, setting her glass down and leaning on her palms, “I love trying to figure out the other people at restaurants like this. Like, okay, that couple,” she nods behind me, so I try and turn as discreetly as I can. She hits my leg. “Don’t be so obvious!” She hisses behind a smile.

I’ve just gone and made things worst myself by taking Charlie out, haven't I?

“That couple is on their first date, and he’s trying to figure out how to leave.”

“And how do you know that, Sherlock?”

Charlie shrugs and leans back to take another sip.

“I know people. He’s fidgeting like crazy, looked at the bathroom like five times in the past thirty seconds. For sure planning his escape.”

“Or he just really needs a shit.”

Charlie snorts into her glass, spraying wine onto her cheeks. I guffaw, and both of us fall into laughter too loud for an establishment like this. “Fuck, my makeup.” Charlie taps at her cherry stains aimlessly, so I lean across with my napkin.

“Here, hold still,” I chuckle, pinching her chin between my fingers and trying to get as much grapejuice from her face. In the midst of the scene, our waiter returns.

“Are you… oh.” He clears his throat, and we pause to look up.

“We might need a few more minutes.” I mumble. Charlie grins sheepishly.

Yeah, okay, maybe it is conceited – but thank God we do what we do, because judging by the compressed scowl on the guy’s face as he leaves us, we were one 0 in our bank accounts away from being kicked out.

As I’m wiping at her face, our eyes lock, and the words tumble out before I can think about what I’m saying.

“Niall’s proposing to Amelia.”

She gasps. I sit back.

Silence holds us, until a slowly whispered, “shit,” punctures it.

“Yeah.”

I see her reach for her wine. Then she downs it.

“So I told my mum Gemma was a drug dealer. Of course my mum was like, Harry, she’s nine. But it was the worst thing I could come up with at six years old.”

Charlie throws her head back at the story of myself and my sister, one of my favourite memories to relay. I stab my fork in my pasta and try and muffle my grin as Charlie giggles away.

“I never thought you’d be the type to take WWF wrestling so personally.” 

I shrug. “I was a dedicated fan. I still refuse to believe it’s staged.”

Her laughter dies, and she gets this sort of gone off look in her eyes. Like she’s thinking about something, someone, and then it hits me – I’ve been sat here reeling off stories about my sister without any regard for the fact she no longer has hers. 

“You know,” she shifts, eyes dropped to her plate. She pushes a piece of broccoli around with her silverware, chewing on her lip. Then, her voice gets quiet, small, when she admits, “I don’t think my parents have called me one time this whole tour.”

She chuckles to herself, but it’s void of any humour.

“They did their usual prayer for my safety before I left, and rang to see if I had changed my mind, but…”

I dip my head to meet her eye. She looks up at me, meekly. Like tears are threatening to spill but she’s using every muscle to hold them back. I’m so terrible in situations like this, I never say the right thing because, truthfully, people don’t often open up to me.

(Not like this, at least.)

So, I go with my gut, and pray it doesn’t betray me.

“Pretend I’m your parents.”

Charlie piques. “What?”

Confidence begins to slip from me, evident in the way I mess with my hair and twist my rings beneath the table. “Pretend I’m your parents,” I repeat – despite the out she just gave me.

“This apart of that daddy kink you were talking about?” She smiles smally. 

“No,” I lilt. “Tell me about tour. Look,” I sit up straight, bringing my hair forward and cracking my neck. Getting into character. I lift my hand to my ear, pretending to be on the phone. “Hi sweetie, how’s tour going?”

Charlie snorts. “That supposed to be my mum?”

“I’ve never met the woman, go with it.”

She rolls her eyes, but she sits up and lifts her hand, too.

“Hi mum. It’s fine.”

“Fine? Come on, you’ve been away for months.”

She sighs, giving me that look through those lashes. I lift my brows.

“It’s been amazing, actually.”

I smile. We’re getting somewhere.

“Everyone really likes our album,” she continues, “and I started banging the one with long hair you always tell me I need to stay away from.”

“Heey,” I drop the ‘phone’. She looks pointedly at my hand. I raise it again.

She heaves a breath, her expression stone again.

“I wish you’d try and understand my job a little more. I think you’d see what I’m doing is actually really cool if you took the time.”

My chest aches. I knew Charlie had a strained relationship with her parents, I just never knew why. They’d never come to shows, she would never mention them. I don’t even remember them sitting with her at Poppy’s funeral.

Maybe when Charlie blamed herself for her sister’s death, her parents did too.

“You were wrong, by the way.”

I got so lost in my own anger I forgot we were doing this.

“Wrong?” I ask. 

“About the dude with long hair. He’s actually alright.”

I couldn’t let this night end.

We practically got kicked out of the restaurant when we wound up being the last two in there, and then we stumbled our way to my hotel room and have been laid on the bed giggling over nothing for the last hour.

Red wine is strong shit.

So far, I’ve learnt Charlie hates the colour purple, secretly loves 90s horror and sometimes worries she made a mistake by going to that audition six years ago.

“I just want a dog, y’know?”

“You can have a dog.” I laugh.

“No, no,” she flips, her hair messily cascading her shoulders as she hovers above me. I let the wine guide my hand, tucking a strand or two behind her ear. She leans into my palm. “I want a dog, and a spouse, and a kid.”

I caress her cheek, and then she lays her face completely on my chest. I freeze, watching in awe as she shifts so her legs hang off the bed and her head is on the spaces were my shirt gives way to my skin. Charlie tilts her head, closing her eyes when my fingers find home on her scalp.

I just want this, I want to scream.

“What?”

Fuck. Wait. Did I not think that?

The domestic bliss lasts all of ten seconds before she’s sitting up again.

I’m at a loss for words. I’m sure she’s going to leave, that I just fucked up this whole night, but then she’s climbing a top of me. My hands instinctively fly to her thighs, holding her close through the silk while she assesses me from above, her hair a curtain.

“You want friends with benefits forever? That’s your end goal?” She sounds amused, so I can’t tell if she’s being serious or not. I want to shout, is that all I am? Even after today, after everything?

I’m better at holding in my thoughts this time, though.

“You really think we can ever be friends?”

Then, she sighs and straightens. Her hair no longer tickling my neck.

“Jesus, you’re confusing. I thought that was why you took me out in the first place!”

This girl will be the death of me.

“Okay, Charlie,” I sit up, gripping her waist to pull her against me. I feel her chest huff out against mine in three quick, fluttering motions. “Let me be crystal clear,” I cradle her face, now, just brushing her bottom lip. She leans into my touch again, and I feel every ounce of self-doubt fade away with the sigh she lets out. I knock my nose against hers.

“I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.”

Charlie rushes to say, “You have me,” whilst fisting at my shirt.

As much as I want that to be true, I know she doesn’t believe those words in the same way I want to believe them. So, I stifle a breathy chuckle, shaking my head.

“I don’t think I do.” My throat stutters at the word baby. I haven’t tried that one out yet.

“What do you mean? I’m right here.”

Charlie looks genuinely confused, which I suppose is the problem. The problem I created. I pull back, sinking into her brown eyes till I’m sure I’ve turned to stone. All I’ve wanted for the last six years is to hear Charlie say those words: you have me. Yet, in this moment, I realise I’ve gone about all of this completely wrong.

“I want a redo.” I barely whisper, insecure in my words.

“A redo?”

I quickly lick my lips. “Of everything.” I thumb at her jaw. “I fucked it all up, Charlie.”

“Fucked what up?” She deadpans, clearly tired of my inexplicability.

“You. Me. Us. This.” 

Charlie shorts out a huff, as if she’s finally got it.

“We didn’t know this would end up happening–”

“I knew.”

I let my confession barrel before me. If I scare her off, then fuck it. I scare her off. But she needs to know. She needs to know that,

“I’ve wanted you since we were sixteen and you shouted at me for being late to our first recording. I knew the minute you stood there in your stupid scarf and your even stupider boots that I was going to have it bad for you and I’ve not known what to do with it since.”

Charlie looks startled, but she’s unmoving from my lap, so I take it as a sign to keep going.

“I thought that you’d always hate me,” my throat swells, “so I’ve been a prick to you and I… especially after Zayn, I just didn’t…” I shake my head, looking down, losing myself.

It’s the wine, that’s all that’s fuelling this sudden, dumb confession. The wine and the fact that right now my best friend is probably engaged. But, then...

Charlie lifts my chin.

Charlie hesitates.

Charlie’s eyes flick back and forth between mine.

Charlie kisses me.

I kiss back with force, pouring everything I couldn’t say into her lips. I hold the back of her head, moaning against her tongue as she pushes me back to the pillow and grips my shirt so hard it pulls nearly painfully against my back.

And then she stops.

“Zayn told me after Amsterdam he loves me.”

Just found the quickest way to kill a boner.

“Oh.” Is all I can say, apparently.

“But I don’t…” she trails off, her eyes dropping to my lips. “I don’t love him.”

“Okay.” I whisper. 

My insides are having a fucking party, right now.

“That doesn’t mean I love you.” She rushes to clarify. I smile.

“I know.”

“But you are the first person I think about when I wake up. And when I go to sleep. And while that’s confusing because most of the time you piss me off, you don’t seem to do that anymore.”

I try not to sound so excited as I respond. “At all?”

“I mean, don’t push it.”

I chuckle, brushing her hair from her face. But then a dreadful pit starts to hole its way through my stomach, and I have to ask,

“You’re not just saying this because you want a dog?”

Charlie smiles against my lips. “I want you, Harry.” One sweet, chaste kiss. “I’m not thinking about the dog right now.” 

I lean up to kiss her, flipping her onto her back. My hand slips under her dress, and her breath hitches. “Good,” I breathe against her mouth, rubbing her over her knickers. Her gasp travels to the back of my throat, and I swallow it, keep it, store it, run it over and over in my mind as I push her pants to the side and curl my middle finger in her.

“Stay the night?” I ask, adding my index finger.

“Oh,” Charlie moans, her head tipping back. I kiss her throat, “yes.”

“Yes, you’ll stay the night?” I nip at her neck, losing myself in vanilla and Merlot.

“Yes, Harry,” she pulls my face up, “just assume from now on I will always– fuck, stay the night.”

I grin. Her nails dig into my nape as I pull my fingers out and rub her clit. 

“God, like that,” she breathes as I push my finger down harder, tuning myself to every gasp and moan she gives me. I kiss her through her orgasm, muffling her cries with my mouth despite wanting the entirety of Italy to hear how pretty she sounds when she comes.

“Always so good for me, baby.” I murmur, gripping her thigh as I shift my weight and move her core to my own thigh, still covered by the overpriced trousers I asked Amelia to find for me. She bucks her hips, capturing my bottom lip between her teeth. I whimper.

“Baby,” she breathes questioningly. “I like that one.”

taglist: @lilfreakjez @be-with-me-so-happily @sirtommyholland @tpwksm @b-reads-things @tiaamberxx @daphnesutton @mleestiles

[seasidewanderers]

How Did I Even Get Here? Or As I Like To Call It, How I Became Syscourse Informed

I've been meaning to make this post for a while. I've been in syscourse for years now, more precisely from I think it was 2019. So for those curious of how even does one get into syscourse... Here's all the lore and backstory.

I'll put it under a cut. Read with extreme caution if you choose to, it's... gonna get ugly in here

Warnings: long ass post; talking about trauma, drug and alcohol abuse, self harm/suicide, psychosis

I had just started university and everything was going to shit. Yeah, I like cold opens alright. You should read my stories. A-hem. I had just started university. I was struggling to make friends - I never had friends before university - I had just shaved all of my hair off. New beginning and all that. My grades in high school weren't stellar but I was managing, while in uni it went all down the drain within the first month.

Living alone meant I could be doing everything I could ever dream of! Getting blackout drunk almost every night. I was buying a bottle of gin and a pack of Monster Ultra White cans to mix in my personal gin and Monster tonic every other day. I was an already psychotic teenager fighting regular psychosis with alcohol induced psychosis, having so many nightmares I was consuming the equivalent of 15-20 espressos a day just to stay awake. The only times I managed to get more than 3 hours of sleep I was near comatose. I wish I was misusing the word.

I was near constantly actively delusional.

(I've talked about it once or twice in here in the context of delusions related to trauma and DID, my most prominent delusion is related to survivor's guilt and early infancy medical trauma. I still get episodes, though now it's more chronic bizarre thoughts and sporadic psychotic depression)

In a year, I left my dormitory room to be with other people in the dormitory exactly once.

I also got to know a guy who turned out to be a drug dealer. I mean, a really nice guy otherwise. He never got me on hard drugs (it was his personal policy to not start someone who has never done hard drugs on hard drugs, and I had mad respect for that lad); he did otherwise just give me stuff if I asked for it. Mainly it was sleeping pills.

I was minding my business with a mix of alcohol, tranquillisers and caffeine up until a point where I took a little too much, fell asleep in class, and couldn't wake up no matter how much my friend was trying to get me awake. I got rushed to the ER and now I'm banned from taking sleeping pills again. Somehow my liver is intact though! Yay

So... what does it have to do with syscourse, you might ask. And you'd be absolutely right to ask.

Nothing and everything. I discovered my system eventually in university. I started noticing that even when I was not drinking, I wouldn't remember shit anyway (which only made me drink more, if I'm not to remember anything, why bother staying sober?)

I then started noticing that I didn't remember anything. About anything. My childhood is a blank. Middle and high school is so fragmented I have no idea what happened, and the few memories I have I'd rather forget.

So what does a 19-20 years old with no friends, almost always drunk, lots of the time high as a kite, forgetful and incredibly depressed, do with their free time?

Tumblr. I started out with looking up people who were talking about ADHD, thinking my forgetfulness was poor attention; then nothing really clicked, so I moved on to mood disorders spaces, thinking it was just depression; then again, yes I do have depression, it's been terrible for many years now, but stable enough, so the sudden heightening of forgetting and not being "really there" didn't really make sense to my depression.

By the end of the school year in June by means that I don't fully remember, I landed in system spaces. First just people talking about being plural, then I discovered the pit full of burning acid that is syscourse.

It actually wasn't so bad for me at first, but I was having a nice time online because I was just following that handful of blogs that I liked, and also I wasn't active in syscourse, just lurking around like a bog creature.

When I started expanding my niche of syscourse blogs, it was... something for sure though. I didn't understand why people were fighting. I didn't understand why everyone is so awful all the time. I get that spaces filled with trauma survivors are bound to get emotionally charged, and as the old adage goes, hurt people hurt people. I get that rationally, I get the anger, sadness, and grief, but I wouldn't imagine taking my frustration out on a passerby who's not the cause of my trauma. I don't get being mean on purpose.

At some point a few years ago I stumbled upon @sysmedsaresexist and @thecircularsystem (or rather, circulars-reasoning and circular-bircular)

If I remember correctly, they were both anti endo when I got to their blogs, and I was very pro endo. I didn't, and still don't, have any reason not to be.

I started reading everything they were putting out. Every little link and file they shared got under a microscope by my part.

Part of it was just paranoia - I know they're saying something terrible. There has to be something in there that says endos are all murderers or something and I'll be in so, so much trouble for being pro endo.

Part of it was just curiosity - what do they have to say? Let me take a look at that.

And then... There was absolutely nothing that made me believe they hated me specifically (more broadly, nothing in their resources that disproved the existence of endogenic plurality, but at the time that to me was equal to "if you're pro endo I hate your face and I'll be stabbing you in a dark alley first chance I get")

And... I loosened up a bit. I still didn't properly talk to them until this year, after SAS' Changing Mindsets post, and I can say I regret not reaching out sooner. I kept reading everything they were putting out, laughing at memes, and asked lots of questions. I tried going at it with more and more curiosity and less and less fear of stepping out of an imagined line.

It didn't always go well. I am very paranoid and it takes very little for me to retract into my shell like a turtle. But! I made a lot of progress with that, too. I also learned that a) I don't have to immediately respond to asks, comments, etc out of impulse or anger, I can actually take my time! and b) I don't have to reply at all if I don't want to!!! How great is that!!!!!

I don't know why people keep saying that you can't be friends with pro/antis. That's what I needed to do! I needed to get the fuck out of my own head, get to know other people, talk to them, see where they're coming from.

Though I wouldn't say I'm friends with them exactly, simply because friend to me has a specific connotation, but they are nice people who I love talking to. Who'd have thought the Scary Anti Endo could be *reads notes* a person with their own interests and hobbies?? Oh SHIT this is NEW.

Enough talking about my background, over to the thanks, like it's my wedding day and y'all are my best men.

Circ, Dude (and all other SAS mods, though I know half of you half as much as I would like), thank you. You've done a lot for me even if you didn't know who the fuck I was until two or three months ago. You threw some PDFs and links over to my general direction and, man, I needed that.

I've been very bad. And then I've been slightly better, and then very bad again, and I'm better again. This time I don't plan on going very bad again though. I hope I can get better every day.

[jongbross]

i just found you and love love love your writing! if you’re able to, can you do a frenemy to lover (suggestive maybe ) with baekhyun. both are in same friend group but never got along. thank you for your hard work, i love your content

red flag (byun baekhyun x f!reader)

pairing: byun baekhyun x f!reader word count: almost 2k genre: fluffy? i think it suits the best warnings: cursing, mentions of hook ups, alcohol. chanyeol has a good heart, he's just a mess please bare with him a/n: tysm for your support, anon! i got carried away with this, and i still didn't finished. hope you like it anyway <3

"i can't believe this", chanyeol said, wide eyes staring at baekhyun. 

"what?", the short one tried to act nonchalant about it. "he asked for it!"

"dude, you just stood up for y/n!"

never in a million years did chanyeol think he would witness byun baekhyun saying something nice about you - well, technically, he didn't say something nice, but he gave that stupid guy you hooked up with last week a piece of his mind, after saying guy called you a not very nice thing in front of him.

"yeah, so what?", baekhyun shrugged. 

you and baekhyun have been enemies forever. at least if you can call two people who hang out a lot, have the same circle of friendship, and have known each other for almost 20 years "enemies"...

the two of you never got along. it was even quite funny to your friends, see you two bickering every single day but never, ever being able to stay away from each other.

"of course it is a big deal, you hate her!"

"i don't hate her", baekhyun frowned. "i just don't like the way she acts. but that doesn't mean i don't care about her, so of course i wouldn't let that bastard say shit about her."

"well, he was a bastard...", chanyeol agreed.

last week, at a college party, you hooked up with some random dude one of your classmates had introduced to you. he was cute and all, but he definitely was a walking red flag, baekhyun had seen it before everyone else. his suspicions were confirmed when he heard the guy telling chanyeol "where is that bitch friend of yours?".

"wow, yeollie, didn't know you were friends with his mom! how does it feel to hang out with old people?"

childish comeback, i know. but it's byun baekhyun, what did you expect?

"you think you're so funny, byun...", the guy had said.

"thank you! that's only one of the many things i am, and you're not."

"just fuck off, dude", chanyeol rolled his eyes.

"yeah, whatever. just tell y/n that she ain't worth anyway, i had better."

"say her name one more time, and i swear you won't be here to see her not giving a fuck about you", baekhyun stared the dude dead in the eyes.

"exactly", baekhyun nodded. "any other guy would be lucky to be with her..."

"i'm sorry, come again?"

baekhyun looked at chanyeol, who was typing like crazy on his phone. thank god he didn't listen to that. "nothing, i was just thinking out loud."

the taller one hummed in response, quickly engaging in a phone call and forgetting about their talk.

(...)

days went by, and luckily it was friday night again.

happily walking into another house party with your best friend, you took a look around to scan the place. you noticed a few colleagues at the right corner, followed by some of your classmates - you waved at taeyong, who shot you a thumbs up and mouthed a “looking good” -, and then the dude you hooked up with at the last party. all he did was look at you from head to toe and then frown, quickly looking away like he was somewhat disgusted by you.

your best friend seemed to notice too, as he whispered to you. “what was that?”

“i don’t know”, you answered minseok. “he didn’t text me back the next morning.”

“asshole”, minseok cursed.

you chuckled, pulling him by the arm when you finally noticed your group at the very left corner of the party. junmyeon was talking to his crush, while chanyeol, sehun and baekhyun were heartily discussing something - probably their new favorite e-game or whatever.

“hello”, minseok said, dropping on the couch next to sehun, caressing his hair.

“hi, hyung!”, sehun answered, waving away his hand. “could you please tell chanyeol that the only way he can get over the phase he’s stuck on is by using the bow and arrow?”

minseok looked between them like a confused old mom. “wait, what?”

“they’ve been arguing about that for the whole night now”, baekhyun complained, rolling his eyes.

“and you’re probably annoyed because you’re also stuck at that phase and are too proud to use sehun’s tip, am i right?”

your comeback at baekhyun made everyone go silent. of course the two of you started the bickering already.

“hello to you too, y/n”, baekhyun said. “i’m not gonna indulge in your silly little competition tonight, i’m sorry.”

“oh, of course! you have always been a coward, it’s no surprise at all.”

chanyeol laughed out loud at that, being shut by both sehun and minseok holding him back on the couch and giving him the eyes.

“ha ha, how funny of you!”, baekhyun faked a smile.

“if you think he’s a coward you should have seen what he said to that guy you slept with… what’s his name again?”, chanyeol drunkenly mumbled.

at that, baekhyun froze. he snapped his head at chanyeol, praying that the giant dumbass would see in his eyes how he was desperately begging ‘please, don’t mention that, please!’.

but it’s chanyeol we’re talking about. of course he was clueless.

“who? the dude from the mechanics class?”, sehun asked.

“yes!”, chanyeol shouted excitedly. “he was talking shit about y/n this week, but baekhyun made sure to put him in his place.”

you looked over at baekhyun. the poor dude was doing everything in his power to avoid your gaze, while torturing chanyeol in a hundred different ways in his mind. he was playing with minseok’s blouse now, mumbling something like “this is nice, is it silk?”.

“is that why he’s avoiding me?”, you asked loud and clear, and by the tone of your voice, chanyeol knew he had fucked up. he looked over at minseok, who just shook his head.

when baekhyun didn’t answer, you scoffed. “of course i could count on you to ruin everything.”

you walked away at that, walking towards the kitchen. you vaguely heard minseok and sehun calling you back, but you opted to ignore them. all you needed was something strong burning down your throat now.

the dude from mechanics class, whose name you couldn’t actually recall if you were being honest, wasn’t a nice guy. you knew his reputation, you knew he screamed ‘red flag’ in every aspect… and you also knew baekhyun didn’t like him. but he was cute, and you two were tipsy and horny, and you never wanted anything serious anyway - the only reason why you went home with him that night was because you wanted the exact same thing he did.

you couldn’t actually pinpoint why you were so annoyed, but you guessed that it’s never nice to feel rejected, even by a douchebag like him. you didn’t care, but also didn’t not care.

sighing loudly, you got the first thing in sight and poured a little bit at one of those red cups. the liquid went down your throat like fire, making your head spin. your mouth was bitter now, but it was okay.

“hey”, you heard a very familiar voice calling you.

“oh, fuck off, i really don’t wanna talk now, baekhyun.”

you and baekhyun were friends, but also you weren’t. that silly, little taurus guy always got under your skin, with his stupid comebacks and dumb behavior. the two of you just didn’t click, no matter how hard you tried - and gosh, did you try.

he was too silly for your liking; he used to say you were too uptight. he was way too extrovert with people; it took you years to come out of your shell. he was always popular, but never smug about it; you never had many friends, and never understood why he never took advantage of that.

if it wasn’t for his father and your mom being best friends and reconnecting after meeting again at a college throwback party, you would probably never have met him. but they did, and somehow you were stuck with baekhyun forever.

“yeah? well, that’s too bad, because you have to listen.”

“no, i don’t”, you said, walking out of the kitchen - but of course he followed you.

“ugh, you’re just so stubborn! that’s why you were always grounded when we were teenagers.”

you turned around to look at him, not believing what he was saying. 

“why are you bringing this up now?!”

“because you get on my nerves!”

“poor you”, you faked a pout, walking away again.

baekhyun followed you like a puppy, even though you were determined to pretend like he didn’t exist. he stayed behind you as you talked to taeyong, pretending he wasn’t paying attention to the talk. he followed you when you decided to head back to your friends, staying up with crossed arms over his chest looking down at you, seated on the couch beside sehun and talking about something, anything. chanyeol tried talking to baekhyun two times, but he just gave the taller one a deadly gaze both times.

when baekhyun followed you up the stairs to the bathroom, and waited outside until you were done with your business, you finally sighed.

“fine, you win. say it.”

he sighed as well, but out of relief. he legs were starting to hurt, but he would never admit that.

“thank, god”, he rolled his eyes. “look, i’m sorry i ruined your little fairytale with mr. red flag or whatever, but he’s a bastard and i hope you know that.”

“i do know that.”

“great!”, baekhyun smiled. “wait, no, not great. if you knew that then why did you sleep with him?”

“i don’t owe you any explanations, baek.”

baek. he even forgot you used to call him that when you two were little.

“i guess you don’t…”, he shrugged. “well, i’m sorry then. but you can do better than him! he came over to chanyeol calling you something i don’t even want to repeat, and that just made me lose my cool because, honestly, how dare he talk about you like that?”

a little smile took over your lips, and at the back of your mind you hoped baekhyun wouldn’t notice.

“so yeah, i may have said something to him, and that may be the reason why he’s ignoring you”, he went back to venting. “but you know what i think? fuck him! he’s the one losing at the end of the day. any other person would be lucky to be with you, to sleep with you, and that son of a bitch ruined the only tiny, little chance he had with you. so fuck him!”

“what?”, you chuckled. “any other person would be what now?”

i swear, you have never seen baekhyun’s ears get so red so fast. he went silent, staring at you with wide eyes and lips pressed into a thin line.

“nothing”, he mumbled the first thing his mind came up with. “i didn’t say anything.”

“yes, you did.”

“no, i didn’t. you’re tripping”, he desperately said. “i apologized and then i didn’t say anything else.”

to hold back a laugh, you bite your lip. if baekhyun were a puppy, he would be with his tail between his legs now, trying to pass by you after doing something he shouldn't have.

“are you sure…?”

“i am! and now that we’re good, i’ll be back to the party”, his eyes got watery all of sudden. blink, baekhyun, you didn’t blink this whole time!

“okay…”

“okay!”, he almost screamed. “enjoy your night!”

baekhyun turned around and walked away the fastest he could, leaving you alone at the bathroom door with a smile on your lips.

did old little baekhyun still have a crush on you, then?

[outermaybanks]

Out of the Woods - ch 8

a/n: soooo close, we're soooo close to something I promise

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John B still wasn’t back. We went to Heyward’s to kill time, make sure Pope’s parents weren’t too worried. We were snacking, talking about last night, when Pope’s dad came in to say someone was here for Pope, and behind him walked in a police officer, Shoupe.

“I have an arrest warrant for felony destruction of property. Hands on the counter where I can see ‘em.” Everyone began talking over each other as Shoupe put Pope in handcuffs. We all followed Shoupe, begging him to stop, yelling at him that he was wrong.

“It wasn’t him!” JJ shouted, making everyone stop, making my breath catch. “It was me. He tried to talk me out of it, but I was mad because he’d just been beaten up. I was so sick of those assholes from Figure Eight that I lost my shit. I can’t let you take the blame for somethin’ I did. You got too much to lose.” “JJ what are you doing?” Pope asked. “I’m tellin’ the truth. For once in my goddamn life, I’m gonna tell the truth,” JJ said with a smile, turning back to look at me, then back to the officer. “I took his old man’s boat, too.”

Pope tried to speak up, but JJ yelled at him to shut up, then looked at Shoupe. “He’s a good kid. You know where I’m from.” Shoupe asked Pope if this was true, and after a moment of silence, he nodded.

Shoupe took the handcuffs off Pope, and put them on JJ before putting JJ in the car. He gave me one last look before Shoupe closed the door. I put my hand on the window. “It’s gonna be okay,” I said, hoping he could hear me. When the car started, I backed up slowly then took off running.

I ran all the way to the Chateau, and grabbed the box in my bag that was from under the trailer kitchen sink. It’s where I had stashed all my money growing up, since Theodore had a habit of sneaking into piggy banks. But the fucker wouldn’t touch cleaning supplies with a 10 foot pole. 

I grabbed my skateboard and went as fast I could to the police station. They said JJ was still in holding, so maybe I wasn’t too late.

“Look, I-I have money,” I told the lady at the desk, pulling out three envelopes of cash. “This is all I have, please, it’s like 2 or 3 grand, okay? Just please don’t call his dad. This has to at least cover his bail-” “We already called his father, he’s on his way.”  “No, no, no, no- You have to call his father back and say there was a mistake-” “The only mistake here is my son.” I turned to see Luke walking in, immediately my stomach churned. “What? You not happy to see me?” Luke questioned.

I turned back to the officer at the desk. “How much is his bail? I’ll pay it right now.” “$1,000.” “Fine!” I opened one of the envelopes and started counting on the desk. It was mostly smaller bills, but I had saved as much as I could over my 16 years. 

I could feel Luke staring at me from beside me. “Now where does a 16 year old get that kind of cash?” “From not blowing it on drugs and alcohol.” I spat back, still counting. “475, 480, 490,495- okay that’s 500-” I heard a buzz and whipped around to see them bringing JJ out. “Ma’am.” The officer reminded, I went back to counting. “20, 30, 35…1,2,3,4,5, 140-” 

The door opened and JJ walked out with his head down. I started counting faster.

“Once your girlfriend is finished counting, you’re good to go. Hearing will be in two weeks, if you fail to show up, you will forfeit your bail. The restitution is based on the average of three outside estimates-”

“Restitution?” Luke questioned. “Pay for what he broke. It’s part of the plea.” I tried to focus on counting. “350, 360, 380, 385…” “Sir, can you sign these?” Luke grabbed the clipboard. “Also, she isn’t his girlfriend. She’s just my loser son’s loser friend.” “Well this loser is paying your son’s bail. 425, 445, 455… 1,2,3,4,5- 460- anddddd here. $1000.” I said, handing the stack of cash to the officer. “C’mon JJ,” I tried to quickly get him out, but his dad grabbed my arm, hard. “He’s coming home with me.” “Like hell-” “Junie, it's fine. Just go,” JJ said softly, sounding so defeated.  “Let’s go. Now!” Luke said. I felt so powerless. JJ didn’t even look at me as his dad made him leave.

“Do you want a receipt?” The officer asked.

I scoffed. “No, I want you guys to do your fucking job for once. Protect and serve my ass,” I said, pushing myself off of the desk and walking out of there. JJ was stood at the end of the street, about to get in his dad’s truck. “Go,” He mouthed. My lip quivered, I dropped my skateboard, and started pushing to go back to the Chateau. 

I was alone, laying in the hammock, crying but trying to hide it despite the fact no one was around. I suddenly heard a commotion and sat up, seeing John B and- “JJ?” I called, scrambling to get out of the hammock and run over. JJ held a finger up to his lips, telling me to be quiet, then he pointed to a car sitting, watching us.

JJ had the idea to go through the marsh to get to the dock, but we’d be neck deep in water, all three of us held our bags over our heads as we slowly walked through the water. JJ climbed in first, then took my bag and helped me up.

“Hey, thanks for paying my bail,” JJ said casually. My face was twisted in horror.  “JJ, your face…” I said, slowly reaching to hold his face. “Hey, I’m okay. We kinda match now. Friendship bruises.”  “I’m gonna kill him. Where did you put my bag?” JJ quickly kicked it over to John B, who grabbed it and went to turn on the boat.  “JJ!” “If you go to jail, who’s gonna pay bail? Huh? They’ll call your mom, and Theodore, and it just goes around and around.”

John B drove us to an isolated part of the marsh, and JJ caught him up on what he missed, saying we should all just dip.

“Okay, where do you wanna go?” John B asked. JJ looked at me. “Yucatan.” I smiled to myself. “Mexico?” “I’m dead serious right now. Surf all day, and then we can just live off lobsters we catch with our bare hands.” “You just wanna leave ‘cause you got your ass beat?” “Hey!” I called.  “You didn’t see the photos man-” JJ said.

But John B didn’t want to hear it, and JJ told him he needed to give up or we’d die, and John B shoved JJ, so I forced myself between them.

“Stop!” I shouted. “The last time I saw my dad we got in an argument. Then he took all of our rent money and dipped for this Royal Merchant. And then I told him he was a shit father, and you know how the rest of the story goes,” John B confessed, finally backing off. “That wasn’t your fault, bro!” JJ said. “It doesn’t matter whose fault it is, JJ!” John B screamed. “Hey! He’s your friend, knock it off John B.” “Of course you’d take his side, real predictable Junie. You’re so obvious with it, there’s no way he hasn’t noticed so maybe it’s time to start asking why he doesn’t want to be with you, Ju-” I cut him off with a slap, hard across the face.

“Fuck you, John B,” I spat before turning away from him and walking away. “Fuck- Junie- Junie I’m sorry!” John B called after me. “What did you just say?” I heard JJ’s voice ask before I walked out of hearing range. I couldn’t be around John B, and I sure as fuck couldn’t be around to handle the aftermath of him telling JJ. 

I didn’t know where to go. I couldn’t go home, couldn’t go to the Chateau. So., I started walking towards Figure Eight, to Kie’s house. By the time I got there, I couldn’t hold back my tears. I told her everything, about JJ's father, about John B telling JJ I loved him. 

Kie had a Kook event, and she asked if I’d come with her. At first I thought she just wanted to give me a distraction, but when her mom came in to help her with her dress, it became obvious she didn’t want to go at all, but especially alone. 

“Mom, it’d be okay if Juniper came, right?” “We’re allowed to bring guests… do you have a dress sweetheart?” Her mom asked. “Uh-” “She can borrow one of mine. Thanks mom.”

And just like that, Kie put one of her dresses on me, and did my hair for me, and suddenly I was in a rich ass house, surrounded by rich ass people. I lost Kie, and it felt like I was drowning in overwhelming ignorance. I could see why Kiara didn’t like these people despite being born into them. 

“Hey, I don’t think I’ve seen you at one of these before”. I turned to see a boy, around my age. He was tall and blonde with blue eyes. He was like a Kook JJ, with bigger teeth. “Yeah, I um… My family made me come, I don’t usually do things like this.” “Well, I’m Tobias, you can call me Toby. Maybe you’ll like these things more if you have a friendly face”. Then he smiled, and I could tell by the way he did it, he was used to getting what he wanted with it, then it hit me, he was flirting with me.

“I’m June. Thank you, Toby, that’s very, uh, sweet of you.” “Do you wanna take a walk with me? It can be a bit much to be in the heart of one of these things.”  “Ummm,” I looked around for Kie, finding her and Pope watching me closely, both of them snickering at the sight. “Yeah, sure. Thank you.” “Pretty girl like you shouldn’t be standing alone,” He said, giving me that smile again. I forced one back. I take it back, this guy was nothing like JJ, with JJ I didn’t need to force a smile, this guy felt like he was putting on a performance. 

I walked beside him for a while, he told me how his family got rich, or really, how they stayed rich. We made our way back to the party after the sun went down. He was telling me about how he was gonna go to his father’s college and join his fraternity, while I looked for Kie or Pope. But to my surprise, I saw JJ, walking over to Sarah Cameron. 

“What about you?” Tobias voice cut through my train of thought. “Huh? Oh… Uh… Well, I’m gonna be a junior, haven’t really thought about college yet.” “Do you know what you want to do?”  “What I want to do? Like just in general?” Tobias chuckled, “Yeah, like in general.”

I thought it over for a minute, before smiling to myself. “I want to move to Yucatan. With a man that looks like Harry Styles.” “Oh yeah?” Tobias asked with a chuckle, obviously flattered. “Junie!” I turned to see Kie rushing over. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere-” she was cut off by a commotion, shouting. We turned to see JJ getting escorted out by security.

“Stop!” I shouted, “Kie, do something.”  “Let go of him! You can’t just boot him, I invited him here, I’m a member of this club,” Kie shouted. JJ shouted at the security guard, trying to wriggle free of his grasp. “Hey, mandatory power hour at Rixon’s, bugs, Kie. Pope, you as well, right? Alright, let’s go!”

Me and Kiara exchanged looks before we took each other’s hands and ran after JJ. 

When we got to Rixon’s cove, JJ and John B got to work building a fire, while I sat with Kie. John B gave me an apologetic look at every opportunity that he got, but I wasn’t ready to talk to him. I needed to find out what he said to JJ after I left, and if JJ believed him. 

“Junie, please, we can talk somewhere private-” John B said once the fire was stable. “I thought Pogues didn’t have secrets?” JJ interjected, making me look at him. It felt like it was confirmation that now he knew, and everything was ruined. “Hey guys, my dad is gonna kill me, so what’s this mandatory meeting about?”

John B gave me another look, as if he was still begging me to talk to him, but he had to give up when I looked away from him. John B sighed, then told us the gold didn’t go down with the Royal Merchant, it’s been hidden on land. Pope was skeptical, but John B had evidence, he had figured it all out. 

But, Kie had a problem when John B said Sarah Cameron was coming with the map we needed, and then the truth came out that that’s where JB had been yesterday, in Chapel Hill with Sarah.

“He was mackin’ on her,” JJ added. “What?!” I finally spoke up, in shock if nothing else.

Kie wasn’t happy, at all, and I couldn’t tell if it was because she hated Sarah Cameron, or if she was hurt by John B kissing someone else. But he swore up and down, it was just for information, nothing else.

John B had a meeting time with Sarah, so we all loaded into the Twinkie, but after we got to the meeting spot and parked, JB said he was gonna do this one alone.

“I just don’t want to spook Sarah with the peanut gallery,” John B said. “I just don’t understand why we’re involving her at all,” Kie said, still upset. “Kie, we’re not involving her, okay? It’s just, like, a business meeting,” JB explained.

JJ mimicked giving a blowjob to his blunt, making me and Pope chuckle.

“Look, once we get what we need, we cut her loose, alright? Plus we need the map.” “Cut her loose after we use her? What are we, Kooks?” I spoke up, earning a look of annoyance from both John B and Kie. I turned back around with my hands up in surrender. “Promise me nothing’s happening between you,” Kie said. “Nothing is happening, Kie.” “I’m being serious. This isn’t about you, this isn’t about us. This is about her. Dude, she’s gonna get inside your head. Just promise me nothing’s happening between you guys.” “I promise.”  “That was really believable,” JJ spoke up. “A hundred percent believable.” Pope agreed. John B looked to me, almost like he was hoping I would dog on him too, but I just looked down.

“Anyway… I’m gonna go take care of business.” “Yeah, you’re gonna take care of it,” JJ teased.

JJ handed me the blunt, then lit it for me once it was in my mouth. Pope was trying to comfort Kie, but I was nervous. This was the closest me and JJ have been since John B said I was in love with him. “Hey…” JJ whispered as I inhaled.

I sucked in the smoke then handed him the blunt. “Hey.”

“It’s, uh… been a crazy day. You-” JJ cleared his throat, which made Pope and Kie stop talking, but I don’t think he noticed. “You look really pretty.” “Thanks, Kie let me borrow her dress.” “Keep it. It looks better on you,” Kie spoke up, making me smile. Then JJ leaned closer, to get my attention. “I was hoping we could talk… about what happened earlier.”

I looked over to Kie and Pope, both of whom looked like two children who had a secret.

“Yeah, yeah, we can talk.” “Cool, uh-” JJ stood up from the open door, and I followed him. We walked around to the back of the van for more privacy. “So… John B said some crazy things, right?” JJ started. I crossed my arms and leaned against the van. “Yeah…” “But he was just saying them to be an asshole, right?” JJ chuckled, I didn’t respond, unsure if I could continue to lie to him. “Bugs?”

I brought the blunt to my lips and inhaled, exhaling while looking down. I couldn’t even face him. “Junie, c’mon. You can’t just ignore me when I’m asking you if it’s true.” “If what’s true, JJ? I don’t think John B would lie about getting into a fight with his dad.” “I’m asking you if you-if you have feelings for me, Juniper.”  “JJ, I love you, you’re my best friend.” JJ's jaw tensed, and he looked down. “You know that’s not what I mean.”

I finally forced myself to look at him, there was that serious look on his face. “Someone help!” A voice shouted. “Did you guys hear that?” Kie asked, and we all took off running. We found Sarah leaning over John B. “What happened?” Kie called as we came running. “I don’t know what to do, he needs help. Topper shoved him.”

Pope went to call for help. Sarah cried over John B, and it became very clear there wasn’t nothing going on between them.

©outermaybanks 2024 taglist: @lilliebellee

[queer-whatchamacallit]

Just rewatched 1x04 “Dogs” and here’s what I got for ya :D

Carmy’s “It’s on me now,” when talking about the debt Mikey and Richie put The Beef in, he doesn’t want to get into it being “his brother’s house,” it seems like everything there leads back to Michael, and that’s how he likes it, but he never wants to talk about it

“Name one cohort, name an associate” is one of my favorite lines lmao

Carm seems especially hot tempered in this bit, maybe because he doesn’t want to be catering a kids party, maybe he’s just not doing great after Mike’s birthday

“I answer to Jeff, the system” I love how T has incorporated Carmy into her idea of how The Beef functions, at some point he became part of the system :]

Carmy going to Cicero’s old address both shows how much everything has changed while he was gone and that he very much didn’t have the energy to keep track of any of it

One of the big displays of how the Berzattos want to be listened to but never listen to each other is the Cicero vs Richie argument, they’ve been at each other’s throats over a simple misunderstanding for 5 whole years

I need the “how she fell down those stairs” story please please please

I’m sure we’ve seen the post about the Mr Szorski (?) and how if someone heard “one of the Berzatto boys committed suicide” their head would easily go to Carmy instead of Mikey and… yeah ow

People should call Richie “Dick” more, it’s literally his name

“Richie what the fuck is that?” Carmy asks and you can almost hear his stomach drop in his voice when he sees the Xanax, also, this in combination with the “is there a name for that thing where you’re scared of a good thing happening because you think something band’s gonna happen?” “Life?” Starts to feel like Richie does genuinely have anxiety shit, and Carm’s “Who doesn’t?” Creates an interesting dynamic between them, they’re both really fucked up and reassuring the other that it’s completely normal

Gotta love Carm’s brag of “homemade Ecto-cooler motherfucker!”

And Chester’s “it’s this radiant orchid that’s fly as fuck”

There’s also the post about Marcus blowing off his work for the donuts because he thinks that level of dedication is what Carmy wants and the 1x07 breakdown mostly being the result of miscommunication, and yeah, Marcus’ “I want it to be perfect, like that plum” contributes to that

“You have given Marcus a lot of confidence, well done” from Ebra to Syd is so sweet omg

When Carmy has to go inside the party, he asks for ketchup from anyone and everyone, trying to get out of there ASAP

I think one of Carmy’s biggest love languages is words of affirmation, ie: Pete saying he worked at the best restaurant in the world (and that’s not an exaggeration), plus Pete telling him later about following his career and stuff, and suddenly Carmy likes Pete now

Jimmy goes “that fuckin kid” and Richie just says “that kid” in a way that feels detached, pretty much any time Richie talks about Mike, it feels like he’s just stating facts and trying to keep his emotions out of it as much as possible

Pete (loml) being so insufferably awkward <333

But also him being so sincere and “she also really missed you a lot too,” Carm’s been completely bombarded by his family yelling at him and I can only imagine how nice it was to hear that

Unless the cross got stuck by his coat or something, Carm’s necklace is just a gold chain

Cicero isn’t Italian, but he’s still related to Carm’s dad

“When was the last time you saw him?” And “he never lands” both point to him being alive (at least that they know of, this is a reckless guy that was last seen 20 years ago)

“Drugs, alcohol, gambling, mostly because he insisted on doing stupid fuckin shit all the time” Carmy’s eyes looks up from what he was doing to look at the picture again and I have this thought that this is him going ‘hey, that sounds familiar’ and Jimmy starts talking about Carm’s dad hopping careers and Carm knows for sure that Michael was a lot like his dad

“I’m in there for 5 minutes, I start thinking about bad shit” “I think that’s why I like it so much,” he’s not someone who avoids reliving his traumas, he’s always trying to take what hurt him and regain power over it, and now, we know he’s aware of this pattern of his

I think the kid in Cicero’s dream was Carmy. I think he really tried to look out for the Berzatto siblings, but the other two were already affected by their dad’s presence, unlike Carmy who just saw his absence, but Cicero always tried to put on a brave face and offer a helping hand to Carm. They seem close

“Taste it and tell me it’s shitty,” I don’t think Tina’s ever had that level of effort and care required of her in The Beef, and now, she’s terrified that when she really, truly cares, it won’t be good enough

But it is, and her “Thanks Jeff… Chef” means the world to me

Carmy isn’t good at articulating his thoughts, but sometimes, he’ll figure out his own methods of non-verbal communication, like his point to Marcus, and I think Marcus does get his intended “I care, good job Chef, I love to see you improving” from it

So I think that is all!

[hrodvitnon]

Tiamat: Ay, yellow jacket.

Battra: Battra will suffice.

Tiamat: Whatever- anyways- you've been tight with Ozzy for a helluva long time, yeah?

Battra: We've been allies in defending our world since we were both old enough to kill for it.

Tiamat: Right. So how in the flying fuck are you still a goddamned virgin???

Battra freezes for a moment before glaring at Mothra sitting across the table.

Mothra: Hey! Wasn't me! Cross my heart and hope to die.

Battra: Hope to die, huh?

Tiamat: Hun, I got a knack for this kinda stuff- had you pegged like the first day you got here.

Ozzy: Heh, he fucking wishes.

Battra: One more word, Ozymandias!

Tiamat: No, I'm serious, I need to know. How? Is he just- not your type Ozzy?

Ozzy: Woah- hey, don't pin this on me. I've tried. I've tried a lot.

Shimo: He has. An embarrassing amount of times.

Ozzy: Not embarrassing if you're shameless! And man- I felt bad, he seemed lonely whenever we weren't fighting together.

Battra: My duty to the Great Mother will always be company enough for me. As it has always been.

Ozzy: Well...

Tiamat: Ok seriously I think we're underselling how herculean of an accomplishment this is. This is like a college freshman who's never had a sip of alcohol having to live with the knowledge their mom has an 1878 vintage in the wine cellar for their entire time as a 20-something year old. I think you may literally be the only Titan he knows that he hasn't slept with that isn't like- blood-related to him.

Ozzy: I am only more upset now that you've pointed that out...

Maia: Can I say something? Maybe dude's just asexual.

Battra: The fact that you consider that is appreciated, but no, I'm not.

Tiamat, huffy: Oh, what, so none of the Titans here on Earth are good enough for your sky-high standards? ...shit, your ideal woman isn't this Great Mother herself, is it?

Battra: YOU FUCKING TAKE THAT BACK, YOU HEATHEN! HOW DARE YOU SULLY HER HOLINESS WITH YOUR FILTHY MOUTH! THAT'S LIKE A HUMAN FANTASIZING ABOUT THE VIRGIN MARY!

Mothra: Battra, my Brother in the Mother! This island is a strict no-fight zone, and you know it! Now CHILL!

Battra, grumbling: Tell me to chill over such heresy...

Mothra: And as for you, Tia...

Tiamat: All I wanna know is why the fuck your brother hasn't gotten his cherry popped yet! Like, is he sworn to chastity or what?! Fuck, the very idea sounds like torture!

Battra: I am perfectly content with not losing my virginity! I know my role in the grand tapestry! Fertility is one of Mothra's domains, not mine! So I don't need to go showing off my unmentionables to anyone with a pulse no matter how it makes me feel!

Ozzy: ...wait, so you do have an interest in sex? Even just a little?!

Battra: OZYMANDIAS SON OF DAGON I SWEAR--

[disturbnot]

EDIT NOTICE 06/07/2024 - some info may be out of date or no longer apply. i will either update this or make a new common knowledge post another time, but for now, this post will still cover general gists.

COMMON KNOWLEDGE - pretty much anyone who knows of ash likely knows at least one of the following:

currently thirty-seven years old. he was born on the 22nd of May 1986.

is on and off world champion for one of the few global leagues.

is half kantonian, half anahuan. he has dual citizenship for both the kanto and kalia regions.

long thought himself bisexual, but later came out again as gay at the age of 35 (celadon pride was jumping that year i tell you hwat).

has had many ace pokémon in his time - including charizard, sceptile, infernape, krookodile, etc. - but is hardly ever seen without raichu, his one true right-paw man.

has saved the world several times (although the deep extent of which is not broadly known - some events have been covered up entirely).

is also reasonably well-known for often being tangled up in scraps with team rocket, incidents both frivolous and deeply grave.

was alola's first champion back in the day.

"holy shit it's the omnicorp life insurance guy".

is aura sensitive - this one is slightly lesser known, but the basic fact isn't really kept secret. the true extent of his aura-based gifts, however ... that's when people get tight-lipped.

is broadly considered to be a pokémon master, but ash himself doesn't claim this, has often stated his journey will never be over.

despite this, and all of these towering feats, in recent times he has bizarrely chosen to take up a regular job at pallet house, under his mother delia. he hasn't been particularly chatty to any reporters about why this is.

ash is related to the anahua region's equivalent of a champion, zaniyah. she is his paternal grandmother.

has a crappy twitch stream from time to time that betrays how utterly awful he is at most video games.

he didn't cope well with fame / the overwhelming burden of responsibility in his 20s. tabloid readers probably remember this fondly. ash does not.

probably has a lot of old flings from this aforementioned period of personal upheaval.

ash can communicate with pokémon pretty well. he claims this isn't by strictly translating or reading a pokémon's mind, but that he is somehow able to intuit meaning and feelings all the same. raichu goes 'chu chu chu' and in his head, ash hears everything his buddy is trying to say.

"of course i'm a functioning alcoholic, it came free with me being born a millennial".

tiktoks either unhinged or adorable shots of his pokémon.

DUBIOUS KNOWLEDGE / "CONSPIRACY THEORIES" - somewhat recognised knowledge, but may be misunderstood, covered up, or relegated to the realm of a conspiracy theory/parody:

ash is immortal / ash has super powers / ash has crazy aura powers / i heard that ash ketchum has an 8 pack that ash ketchum was shredded / chuck norris jokes just got a whole lot more annoying / etc.

he worked with professor larch of the sabiri region; a scientist broadly considered to be criminally insane after a lab accident decades ago that caused plural deaths. the man refuses to talk about it.

there is a theory that ash caused the 'kholoss disaster' - this was a 2014 calamity (in-universe time runs parallel to us, everything is kind of in real time) during which a supposed megaseismo/volcanic event occurred on mount kholoss, in the sabiri region. this event caused a domino effect of disasters around the world, many of which some regions are still recovering from.

ash's dad is missing, and i don't think he's ever used the word 'dead' to describe him. i don't think ash wants to believe it. even after all this time. presently, ash's dad is known in some circles as one of many infamous unsolved and unexplained disappearances.

ash can summon lugia by whistling for it. his mileage varies in landlocked areas.

ash has often claimed not to believe in any one divine pokémon, but his attitude about arceus in particular seems bristled. in truth, this is because he once sought out the "original one" on his path to rediscover his purpose. ash sensed confusion in it, fear, even anger. for reasons ash couldn't understand then, arceus began behaving destructively towards him and the general environment, and although it was eventually calmed, ash has held no particular reverence for the thing since. (in more metaphorical terms, arceus sensed a great 'glitch' within ash and attempted to give the universe a hard reset).

professor larch is an old colleague of professor oak's. back in the 80s, they worked as a duo to work on the first properly computerised pokédex.

HIDDEN KNOWLEDGE - only ash himself knows these things, or those incredibly close to him might know these things:

ash has made one (1) attempt on his own life before. told no one. pretends it never happened. everyone has their moments of madness, even shiny immortal golden boys.

ash has only ever had Feelings(tm) for well-known scientist gary oak. although his fandom may well have picked up on this. rpf is a pox on every universe.

ash was literally dead when pikachu evolved into raichu. desperate times, desperate measures.

in a well covered up altercation with some rockets, ash may or may not be guilty of murder.

actually, there are probably a good few cover-ups for various things that have happened to ash as well. i imagine his interpol file is something unwieldy, the sight of it brings their admin staff despair.

has both encountered missingno and visited glitch city. has not only somehow made it through each incident alive, but has survived unharmed.

META KNOWLEDGE - things about ash's world he doesn't know (yet), but i do:

ash was 'chosen' by enevaxis during his first death. being turned to stone by mew and mewtwo sent him hurtling into the same void that enevollath had condemned enevaxis to, eons and eons ago. upon ash's resurrection, by the power of aura in the tears of pokémon, he came back irreparably altered by the encounter. not only that, he came back with a simple favour to fulfil. he would remember none of it though, no thanks to mewtwo. this was his nexus point. the origin of all that ails him. just wait until he finds out that all of his nightmarish life has been because he wanted to stop two stupid cats from fighting.

ash's dad, tonalli/'tony', is certainly dead. and his disappearance was no accident. rockets: a thorn in the ketchum family's side for three generations and counting!

ash's maternal grandfather is bruno. delia never knew her father, and according to her mother, he was a great trainer who had descended from the mountain one day to recharge and refuel at pallet house, and sweep the old landlady off her feet for the night before retreating to the mountains again. unfortunately, knowledge of who delia's father is died with her mother in delia's teens. and with it, any chance of ash knowing his ties with the legendary fighting master.

grandma zaniyah is probably a straight up fucking serial killer. i'm sorry ash.

literally all ash needs to do to end this absurd chosen one struggle is climb up a super freaky mountain and let enevaxis out of its cage. that's it. he'll have to get past zaniyah when he realises this, though, that's the kicker.

[thats-so-weird]

Thoughts on So Weird's 25th Anniversary

It's hard to believe So Weird premiered 25 years ago. It feels like we JUST celebrated the 20th anniversary, but then again the pandemic has completely distorted my sense of time.

Maybe it's because I'm in my 30s now or maybe it's because I was fortunate enough to meet the wonderful actress who brought her to life, but I have discovered that I am in my Molly Phillips era and Molly has overthrown Jack as my fav.

I truly have had a different favorite character for different stages of my life and I love how as I grow older, I continue to love this show for different reasons.

Now as the show is 25, I've been doing a lot of thinking about the lost episode Chrysalis and the character Molly Phillips and the content that is on Disney Plus now and the content we were denied. It was such a missed opportunity.

At the time that So Weird was airing, I was 6-8 years old and my dad was struggling with a disease. I remember asking my mom what it was that my dad had that made him have to sleep on the couch or stay in the hospital and her just repeating "He has a disease!" until I stopped. It wasn't until I was adult that I learned he struggled with alcoholism.

At 6-8 years old, all I knew about diseases were that they could be caused by smoking and that they can kill you so I assumed it was related to his cigarette smoking and feared he was going to die. I also knew that he had stopped smoking for 4 years, around the time he and my mom got married. My sister and I are exactly 4 years and 6 days apart. At 6-8 years old I knew basic math and the conclusion that I came to was that having a second kid (me) must have bad so stressful it led him to smoking. I fully believed for my whole childhood that my mere existence was killing my dad by driving him to smoke.

That is some heavy shit to carry as a 7 year old and a whole lotta shit to unpack in therapy as an adult.

And it was all because everyone thought it was in my best interest not to explain things like alcoholism in a way that I could understand because they thought children shouldn't know about such things.

As a latchkey kid, I was raised by television as much as I was raised by my parents and if the execs at Disney would have allowed So Weird to do that issues show they were so afraid of, it could have been lifechanging. Being able to see my favorite characters discuss alcoholism and provide some context that shows and explains what it is in a way a kid could understand would have been so valuable.

But Disney was too afraid to do an issues show.

Earlier this year, I watched the new Goosebumps series on Disney+ and was surprised to see kids openly making fun of one of the moms for being a wino. I'm glad that Disney is no longer afraid to show real life situations in that alcohol is a thing that exists and kids (well, the ones who aren't extremely sheltered like I was) are aware of it. But as happy as I am to see Disney is evolving to include these elements and showing more kid-friendly horror, all I could think of was the missed opportunity they had with So Weird. They could have done so much good with Chrysalis.

One of my favorite things about So Weird as a kid was that I never felt like I was being talked down to.

As an adult, I absolutely love the depth to Molly that a past struggle with alcoholism brings. It indicates just how visceral losing Rick was, how much pain Molly was in that she needed to self-medicate it away and stop feeling feelings because they were too hard. It shows how strong she is as a person for getting her life together since then, being able to do a comeback tour and be the amazing mom we see her as. It humanizes her on such a real level. She's the best portrayal of a tv mom because she very much is a MOM-- she doesn't try to be best friends with her kids, but she makes sure they know they can talk to her and go to her for help.

Dealing with my dad's unexpected death in my early 20s (which was surprisingly not due to smoking, or at least not primarily) showed me that my parents are above all else PEOPLE-- with flaws, with struggles, who just did the very best they could with the hand life dealt them. Molly represents that so well and I think it's why I've been drawn to her lately.

25 years of So Weird and I am still finding so much to relate to and gush about with this show.

Forever keeping the faith that one day So Weird's full story will be told, either by graphic novel or reboot.

It is still absolutely timeless.