#goodbye my beloveds I will see you next year

[somuchforahobby]

crawling back to you (pt. 2 of "how many secrets can you keep")

Second and final part of "how many secrets can you keep" Tags: Bad flirting + lots of angst + fluff Warnings: 1 mention of death / a few ugly arguments / you and nikolai are both jerks and u kinda hate zoya so sorry for that 😭 Word count: 5.5K GIFS belong to @dearemma Read on AO3 Writer's note: i am very happy this exists and I can't get enough of it but this might be my (temporary) goodbye to Nikolai. I hope you have enjoyed this ride as much as I have :)

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“Whatever we do next will define how wars are fought in the future. We should think about that.” Nikolai said before the council. He was standing beside the map, their closest advisors on his sides while you sat on your usual spot drinking coffee.

You changed your strategy; if before you avoided Nikolai at all costs, now you were everywhere he looked. You did not miss a single council meeting, breakfast or dinner, and invited him to everything your agenda allowed.

“You won’t win this war with the biggest weapon, Nikolai.” He turned to see you with wide eyes, you continued, “You will win this war with the fear you can inspire. An alliance with Shu Han and Novyi Zem will be enough for Fjerda to drop to their knees.” 

“And how, my dear wife, will I have that?” There was a slick of annoyance in his tone, your smirk deepend.

“When your beloved wife sends word to her daddy to stop supplying steel to anyone but Ravka and its allies.”

“I appreciate your enthusiasm, love, but that is not enough to make them fear us.” His gaze returned to the army generals.

“It would also be a shame if Kerch pirates sacked Shu Han and Novyi Zem, don’t you think?” 

“That would be very interesting.” Zoya turned to see you with a grin, “how would you reach out to them?”

“Oh well, a Queen can not have any sort of link to lowlifes and scoundrels, can she?” You shrugged, “But it wouldn’t surprise me if Kerch’s organized crime learnt of Ravka’s economic interest with their country and decided to protect them. With the right incentives, of course.” You took a sip of your coffee, feigning innocence.

“I will not pay for pirates nor organized crime to do dirty work.” 

You rolled your eyes, “darling, pay attention here, you will not” your tone was obscenely condescending, “you nor Ravka will encourage them, they’ll do it because it’s what’s best for their own businesses.”

Nikolai sighed, his eyes still on the map.

“Can you make that happen?” Zoya asked, suddenly interested.

Your lips quivered, “maybe”

“What do you need for that maybe to become a yes?” She pressed.

“For the King to ask me very nicely.” You purred with a diabolical smirk.

***

“This is risky” Nikolai said while reading.

You sighed, thinking he would not agree to sign it. “Every reform process is a risk, it is a political decision whether or not to change your country into what you want it to be.”

His eyes remained reading, “but right now? In the middle of a war?” 

“There is never a good time to release women from oppression.” You decided to stand your ground.

His eyes finally raised to yours. “Would you have signed it?” There was a slight sadness in his question. 

The new law stated that all girls should attend school until eighteen years old, and then they could get married as long as they signed a declaration agreeing to the match.

“I don’t fall into that law because I am not Ravkan, Nikolai.” 

“But would you?” 

“I would have” you lied and he saw right through it, a hopeless sigh leaving his mouth. “Well no, not really” he nodded but before he returned his sight to the paper you continued, “at least not until I meet you.” 

That brought a smirk back to his face and air back to your lungs, “Would my dashing looks have been enough?” 

You tapped your finger on your mouth, fake-thinking, “well maybe after meeting you and seeing this place, I mean, look at it!” You turned to look at the walls around you.

“I like this, myshka, I really do” he moved the pages in his hands, “but it will cause us trouble.”

“Nikolai if you’re not gonna sign it just say it.” Your tone was soft and respectful, even if your blood was boiling. “I respect it.”

Without answering you he drew a signature at the end of the final page and extended the pages back to you. “You know what to do.”

Taking them, you rounded his desk until you were next to him, leaning against the wood. “Thank you, Moi Tsar.”

He leaned back into his chair, raising his face to look at you standing, “I’d recommend you learn to like my face better than this Palace darling, because after you have that published we might have to live in the tunnels.”

“I give you permission to throw me to the horde and save yourself.”

He smiled, “Now that is one idea that I won’t ever implement.”

After a minute of comfortable silence and staring, he extended one hand to you, you placed your own against his, which he then led to his lips, kissing your knuckles. 

“Your Royal Highness” a valet said from the door, “General Nazyalensky requested your presence in the war room.”

Nikolai sighed, exhaustion all over his grim face.

“Can I go with you?”

“This appears to be an urgent yet confidential matter.” The man pressed.

Nikolai looked at you, without granting you an answer. “May I please see you tonight?” He said, your knuckles still on his lips.

You sighed, a grimace on your face, “I guess not.” 

*** Every morning you asked for a tailor to make up your face, a slight blush on your cheeks, curling your eyelashes and fixing your hair was the standar. You also chose the tighter dresses with the lowest cleavage, just to torture Nikolai a little. You were the first to arrive at Council meeting and the last to leave, always pitching in ideas and debating the King’s strategies. And you came up with good ideas as well, you wanted to tease him but you also knew what was your goal in Council, but that morning the energy felt different.

It all had started when you walked in, nearly everyone looked at you strangely. Nikolai gave you his trademark smirk, gesturing to a seat next to him.

“Your majesty, the following information is sensitive, we recommend the Queen to leave the room.” a First Army general said after the first half of the meeting

“Excuse me?” you muttered, Nikolai placed a hand on your arm, insting you to calm down.

Your husband walked next to the officer, leaning close to him, listened to a few sentences before nodding and returning back to you.

“Myshka, for this time I think you should not be here.”

You did not give him an answer, you merely stood up and left.

You were waiting in his study when he walked in.

“May I say you look absolutely ravishing when you are upset?” Nikolai flirted with his usual smirk.

“You may but it will not change my mood.” 

“It might lead you to use your energy differently.” He winked as he approached you. “Please, darling, have a seat.” He sat next to you on the loveseat.

“What was that, Nikolai?” 

Leaning back in a relaxed position, he answered, “Ah, love I know my flirting is a bit rusty, but not enough to make you wonder what the hell am I doing”

“I am not in the mood for this, Nikolai-“

“Saints” he muttered,

“Why did you kick me out of council?” Your tone was firm but kind, even if you wanted to kill him right there and then, a part of you hoped he had a reasonable motive to do so.

“Ahh” he sighed, “there are delicate matters in this damned kingdom that I’d rather shield you from.”

“Like your late night buddy?” You pressed with a slight playful grin.

“Indeed” he matched your grin, “this one is a bit more… vulgar and common. It does not require your attention in the slightest.”

You scoffed, “As opposed to the gardens and the Palace decorations that require my intricate and academic dedication.”

“Precisely.” He smiled. “Dear, I wouldn’t have asked you to leave if it wasn’t a truly delicate matter I want you far away from.”

You nodded unconvinced, “Is it dangerous?”

“Not really.” He grabbed your hand and by the way he drew circles with his thumb, you knew it was, “I just think you’d sleep easier without this bit of information.” His fond smile made you trust him.

“Alright.” Your chin was up regally, “but please let this be the first and last time you kick me out of a political matter.”

“Of that you can be certain.” He kissed your knuckles to seal the deal.

***

It wasn’t. Which is why you had chosen a next victim in your war when you were on your way out after some First Army officer kicked you out of Council, again. 

“Count Nerenski, what a pleasure to see you again.” You said with a smile.

The man seemed tortured, a grimace on his face told you enough of how clear Nikolai’s threat had been. “Your majesty, the pleasure is mine.” He bowed awkwardly.

“I was just leaving for a walk, would you like to join me?”

The poor Count turned yellow, “I am here to see his Majesty, The King, I would not want to interfere with your plans for the day.”

“Nonsense!” you looped your arm on his, “Besides, my dear husband is really busy right now with the war council and he would not want you to wait by yourself.” 

He did not stir, he followed your pace easily, but if his slight trembling told you anything, it was that he was terrified. You sent a prayer for forgiveness to the Saints, but it was quickly dismissed when Anton began speaking.

Your mother was right when she said if you want to earn a man’s interest, ask him about himself. The man would not stop talking about his Estate, his hunting, his art; if this did not mean an easy win in your war against Nikolai, you would have left him standing outside the Palace for hours.

“You should visit my Estate soon, your majesty. I am sure we can find some other activities I can join you in while the Tsar is busy.” A flirtatious smile spread through his mouth.

“Perhaps” you fake-smiled and kept walking by his side, “where do you say it is?” 

While he spoke, you guided him to the very place in the gardens you knew was spottable from the war room, and just like magic, a guard appeared requiring Count Nerenski back in the Palace.

When you saw Nikolai standing by the dais, you did not hide your smirk, which he noticed and grinned back.

“Anton, what brings you around today besides flirting with my wife?” Nikolai spat at him as soon as you stepped inside the Palace.

Count Nerenski was appalled; the man was a flirt but you did not want him to be sent to prison. “Oh, love, you’re so funny!” You threw your arms around Nikolai’s neck, placing a kiss on his cheek, “I merely asked him to walk with me to the gardens while he waited for the council meeting to end.” 

Nikolai put a possessive hand on your waist, pulling you to him, the killer stare was still in his eyes. “Well, the council meeting is over so please, Anton, join me at my study.” He gestured to the hall, Anton following his instruction neatly. You hanged to his shoulders, your face inches from his. He turned to you with an amused smirk, “That was low.”

“All is fair in love and war.” You said with a seductive smile.

“Which one is this?”

“Both”

***

“Heading out, darling?” Nikolai asked from the dais of the stairs, your carriage already waiting outside.

“Yes, I have a busy day so if you don’t mind I will get going.” You answered without looking back. Your ladies in waiting, already standing by the carriage.

“I do mind” he approached, “I’m afraid I’ll miss you terribly so I must accompany you.”

You turned to find him much closer than you expected, “I’d be honored, moi tsar.” You gritted the words out.

“Two can play this game, myshka.” He said in your ear.

You visited a women’s hospital. In every room a young pregnant lady would batter her eyelashes at the King while you asked the nurses and doctors for their supply needs.

“Wouldn’t you like one?” The main doctor asked while you walked through the cradles.

Nikolai rushed to answer, “oh, doctor, we can’t wait to get that lucky.” You merely smiled.

“You do know how those are made, right?” You whispered to your husband while the doctor continued explaining the different areas of the hospital.

Nikolai scoffed, “would you like me to show you?” 

“I am just wondering if you actually know?” you asked sarcastically, “since you’re praying for us to get lucky while not getting it done.”

“I can’t have you questioning that, love, now can I?” With a hand on your waist and a winning smirk, he whispered, “I’ll answer you anytime, anywhere, as long as you drop your little hatred act.” He winked before following the doctor.

***

“I respectfully request your majesty to derogate this law that will hurt the Ravkan values and economy.” A Duke stood before you and Nikolai, making his case against your latest project. “Treats must be made over land, products and cattle, you can not take away one of the main strategies of negotiation.” 

“You will have to come up with new ways to negotiate that do not involve the freedom of children.” Nikolai tried to dismiss his claim.

“They are not children, they are women!” He pronounced it like an insult, making your skin crawl.

“They are human beings and wielders of rights, and as such they will be educated until eighteen years old and then, and only then, they will marry if they wish.” You sat next to your husband while he dictated his decision. Proud of him but upset that your ideas had brought him too many problems.

“When women are educated their value as a wife decreases, moi tsar.” The Duke insisted.

“I wholeheartedly disagree.” Nikolai’s comeback arrived with a smirk.

“The Kerch values are not Ravka’s” the Duke turned to you before returning his gaze to Nikolai, “There are businesses, alliances and peace that can only be granted with a marriage alliance, shouldn’t you know that moi tsar? Given you’re so engulfed by a common cunt.” The man spat on the floor, your eyes widened in horror.

Nikolai stood and the twins were beside him instantly, “seize him” he ordered, “take him to a cell, he will face a trial for injuries to the crown and treason. Take him out of my sight.” 

When he turned his body towards you his eyes were closed, his chest moving up and down in rapid motions.

“Thank you” you whispered.

“Do not thank me, a man like that has no place in my country.”

He stormed out of the throne room.

***

Most of the time you were not this anxious, but the festivities had you going ballistics. Back home, whenever you were this anxious, you’d cook, but in the Palace that was not a possibility you had, until today.

You were cutting vegetables when Nikolai walked in with a puzzled look on his face. “Your majesty?” He placed both hands on the counter, opposite from you. “What are you doing here?”

You scoffed looking at him; he was wearing his First Army uniform as always, with his hair perfectly in place, yet he was hunching on the kitchen of the Palace, where -you were certain- he had never been before. “I could ask you the same thing.”

“I am looking for my wife, have you been blessed to see her by any chance, cook?” He flirted.

“I don’t think so, no.” 

“Mmm” he sat on a stool, “is that enough for two?” With his chin he pointed at the vegetables you were boiling. 

“Depends”

“Oh?” He smiled, “on what?”

“On whether or not you’ll help me chop that.” You pointed at the onion with the knife. With a smile, he grabbed a chopping board, a knife and one onion. “How did you find me?”

“Tamar told you ran away, I sent a search party to town but the minute I saw Anna the cook sleeping in the gardens I knew where to find you.” He looked up with a grin, “why did you run?”

You sighed, “I was overwhelmed, Nik.”

His eyes widened for a second at the nickname, regaining his poker face shortly. “Overwhelmed by a party?”

“Overwhelmed that everyone knows my husband better than I do.” You did not meet his stare.

“That is not fair, some people here have known me my entire life.”

“I feel like an idiot when someone asks for your favorite color, food or music and I stand in silence while Genya answers everything in a heartbeat.”

Nikolai sighed, “Genya spent the last 15 years of her life with my mother, she knows those things” leaning back and folding his arms he continued, “green, pancakes and sea-shanties.”

A scoff left your mouth involuntarily, raising your eyes you found him smirking. “Thank you.”

“Yours?”

“Pink, the soup I am preparing and” you bit your lip thinking, “ars nova.”

He nodded, “Anything else you’d like to know?”

“Is this the first time you enter the kitchen?” You resumed your work and pointed the knife at his.

Nikolai laughed, denying with his head while chopping the onion, “You must remember I was the second son, and a bastard at that, I ate here all the time.” 

Your head shot up, “really?”

“Yeah, I was friends with the workers’ children, I’d sneak here to have a jam sandwich whenever.”

“And where did you learn to chop onions?” 

“At sea” he raised his eyes to you, “no fancy cooks 24/7 in the Volkvolny.”

“I can’t believe the fancy prince of Ravka would get his hands dirty.” You teased.

“And the King has a taste for getting dirtier, dear.” He shot you a wink and you blushed. He passed you the chopped onion and you put it in the soup, you did the same with your own work and then covered the pot. You turned to him with your arms folded.

“We have a few minutes, what do you have in mind?” 

He raised both eyebrows and smirked.

“Not that, definitely.” You rolled your eyes playfully.

“Why did you come here?” He asked, leaning forward on the counter.

“I craved normality, for once. And cooking gives me that sense of home.” 

Your confession made him smile, “so you kicked every worker out and threatened them for not telling anyone where you were, very normal dear.” 

You laughed, “I did what I could.” Your eyes wandered the place, “do you ever wonder if all this is necessary?” 

“The kitchenware? I think it is.” 

“No” a scoff, “all of this Nikolai. Thirty kitchen workers, seven gardens, a lake, a thousand rooms—“ 

“A monarchy” he interrupted you.

Your eyes returned to his, expecting to see him upset but he seemed relaxed, “maybe that too” 

Nikolai stood up and rounded the counter to stand in front of you. “Saints help me, my wife will be the leader of the revolution.” 

You looked up to him, just a step from you, and you realized just how big he was; his broad shoulders appearing bigger with the uniform lapels, your eyes barely reached his chest. He could overpower you so easily and yet you challenged him. “If you don’t treat me nicely I might.”

He laughed, extending both arms to the sides, “I will spend my life treating you more than nicely; not to keep my crown but to persuade you to keep yours.”

You turned to the pot, uncovering it to see the progress, in a lame attempt to hide from Nikolai.

“I miss you, myshka.” He put your hand between his gloved ones. 

“I miss you too.”

He pulled you to him, “then please let’s go back to where we were” his eyes were warm and kind on you, pleading.

“We can’t” your own filled with tears, “not until you trust me.”

“It’s me and the monster I do not trust.” His sobbed whisper broke your heart.

“I trust you enough for the both of us.” 

The next thing you knew his lips were on yours, both of his hands on your cheeks leaning you backwards to deepen the kiss. Your barriers were a joke, you gave up every single inch he demanded with his tongue. He pushed you against the counter, guiding you leg to his hip when the sound of water boiling made you push him away.

You gasped for breath while looking up to him, your hunger quickly shifting paths.

“You should take your seat.” You instructed him after regaining your breath.

“As you order, moi tsaritsa.”

***

You had a genuine smile on your face during Nikolai’s birthday party. You even opened the dance floor with him.

“This is lovely, myshka, thank you.” Nikolai said with a gilded smile as he swayed you through the dance floor.

“I’m glad you like it.” You smiled back.

His hands moved to your waist as a slower waltz played, “this is so easy” he whispered in your ear.

“Dancing?”

“Being your husband” Nikolai’s warm eyes sink into yours, “I don’t have to be anybody else, being myself is enough.” 

“Of course” you reassured him, “but I was going to ask which one of you is your favorite?” You asked playfully.

“Oh? What do you know?” One of his eyebrows lifted in question.

“Well, Genya shared a few stories with me today.”

He laughed, “did she tell you how my mother called me?” 

“Yes”

A slight blush crept through his face, “I will fire her as soon as possible.”

It was your turn to laugh, “I forbid you from doing that.”

Nikolai bit his lip, “I hate to pull ranks on you, honey, but I am the king; nobody is above me.” 

“We’ll see about that later” your smug answer erased his winning smirk off his face and replaced it with a blush.

Your dance was interrupted by a man whispering in Nikolai's ear; you spotted Zoya already leaving the Saloon, so this could only mean your husband would be following shortly. Which you confirmed when he looked back at you with an apology hiding in his warm eyes.

“I can go with you” you attempted.

“That won’t be necessary, love, enjoy the party.” He turned to leave but you grabbed his wrist.

“Nikolai, please”

“Stay” He replied in a serious tone. “I will come back later.”

Couples kept dancing all around you.

“Do you not trust me anymore?” 

“It is not that”

“Then what is it? I was meant to be a political advisor.”

He looked around, “Let's not do this here.”

“Nikolai, stop pushing me away.” Your voice cracked at the request.

He took a step back to you, his hands laid tenderly on your face, “everything I do is for your safety, love can’t you see that?” His condescending tone was enough to bring back all your anger, but he kept you in place. “Let’s not make a scene, smile and keep dancing.”

“No” angry tears were already in your eyes.

“Do as I say.” His tone was commanding, then he leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on your forehead, when you looked  back at  him there was a perfect smile on his face.

“I hate you right now.” You said with a fake smile.

He knocked on your door that night, harsher than usual. You opened with a grimace. “No need to prove your rank further, moi tsar.”

You met a strange version of your husband, his hair disheveled and frowning. “Do you want out of this?” 

“Excuse me?” A strong smell of whiskey reached your nose, “are you drunk?”

He sighed and repeated, “Do. You. Want. Out. Of. This?” 

Your stomach turned, you could feel your blood falling to your ankles. “Are you asking me to leave you?”

“I am asking if you’d like it so.”

Your anguish turned to anger. “If I’d like it so?” You took a step closer to him, out of your room. His eyes widened given you were in a nightgown with your hair down, “how thoughtful of you, moi tsar. I do not. Want. Out.” You pointed each word with a finger on his chest. Now you were both standing in the middle of the hall, guards peering through the corner of their eyes. 

“It seems like you do, you’d be happier anyway!”

“Stop with deciding for me, first the marriage and now the divorce. Allow me to make choices by myself for once, Nikolai.”

“You’ve grown to hate me! Forgive me if I offer you an easy way out of your worst nightmare!”

“My worst nightmare is a blue kefta standing outside your door! waiting for you to go to bed, Nikolai. Do not turn this on me when you are the one who has disrespected me over and over!”

He leaned closer to you, “I have told you, there is nothing going on between the General and me.”

“Enough is going on for me to hate it! even if, for once in your life, your dick is not to blame.”

“Alright that is enough.” He turned to leave.

“The truth is all I ask of you, and you cannot give me that.”

“You have the truth!” He turned back to you with a grimace of pain, “I hide nothing from you.”

“Then why do you not let me into Council anymore?”

A cruel scoff left his mouth, “alright, you want to know why? Because I have riots all over the country because of your laws” he pointed a finger on your chest, the touch left a sting of guilt, “guards have been killed, people have been arrested and I wanted to shield you from learning that.” There was an air of arrogance in his tone and movements, like he had been dying to see your face when learning this information.

“I am sorry”

“No, love, I am sorry for prioritizing your feelings while having protesters at our gates just for you to light up this place from the inside.”

“Saints” A sobbed cry left your mouth, “I still wish you would have told me before, so I could have been there for you as your friend, your confidant, your advisor, your wife, instead you kept crawling back to her.” Your tone was lower than before, tears gathering in your eyes.

“I am crawling back to you!” he was practically yelling now, “begging for forgiveness and understanding! Begging you to understand as my queen why I have made such decisions. But if you won’t I will prevail in my place as King, waranteing those choices that have been made for your safety and Ravka’s. I will not apologize for putting your safety first, above everyone else’s. And if you can’t understand that, then you are no queen.” He spatted.

You looked at him with weary eyes, his last sentence had been a knife on your chest, and he had noticed it too, taking a step closer with kinder eyes.

“Maybe I am not.” You whispered, “maybe I am just an idiot who loves you.” 

You walked back into your room and cried until you fell asleep.

***

Since that night you did not leave your rooms. You wallowed in solitude, refusing to let anyone in but an occasional meal a day.

Weeks passed without anyone asking you to go out, but every single night, Nikolai knocked on your door, asking you to let him in and begging for forgiveness.

You did not summon the courage to answer any of them.

*** After your month of solitude, you decided you had to leave. So you got yourself ready, as best as you summoned the effort to, putting on a dress but letting your hair down and not bothering to call a tailor to make up your face.

You finally walked out, everyone in the Palace looked at you with wide eyes before bowing to your confident strut. You let yourself into his study, ignoring his valet’s explanation of who was inside.

Nikolai stood up when the door opened, ready to storm whoever dared to interrupt his meeting. You saw some First Army officials do the same, but the moment your husband laid eyes on you he ordered everyone out with a shocked reaction.

“Myshka” he looked at you with tender eyes, “you look-” Nikolai walked to you, looking like a bull in a china cabinet, cautious not to break anything.

“awful, I figure” you interrupted him with an unbothered tone, he denied with his head. You looked up to him as he stood a step from you. “How is everything?”

“Much better. The riots have stopped although we had to send some incentives to the leaders and work with several communities to reach peace agreements.”

“Did you derogate my laws?”

“It did not have to get to that.” He reassured you with a soft smile.

“Good, thank you.” You cleared your throat. “I want to go home” 

“This is your home” he whispered

“No, it is not.”

“I-” he swallowed, “I am your home” 

You looked away, the tears in your eyes threatening to come out, “I thought that too” 

“Myshka, if you go, we will never go back to where we--”

“Well maybe we shouldn’t, Nikolai. Maybe I should go, and you should declare our marriage null and find someone else.” The cracks in your voice made it clear enough that you did not want that either, yet he asked.

“Is that what you want?”

“That’s what you wanted” 

“No” he quickly corrected you, “If that is what you want I will respect it, but that is NOT what I want and you know it.” 

“I am not fit for the job” you cleared your face with the back of your hand and by the way his own turned into fists, you guessed he was dying to do it himself, “you deserve a queen.”

“You are my queen.”

“I am not, and I will go home.”

“Love, please don’t” Tears started to gather in his eyes.

“We could not make this” you repeated the gesture he did on your wedding day, “work”

“Don’t do this to me, please.” He sank to his knees, grabbing your wrist as he looked up to you with weary eyes.

You knelt in front of him, “you deserve a proper queen, Nikolai.” You laid a tender kiss on his cheek before standing up and leaving the room.

He did not knock on your door that night. ***

You had only been to his rooms on your wedding night, when he had promised to never abuse you. And given the latest events you did not think you’d be getting inside any time near, much less the night before you departed back to Ketterdam, but his screaming made you change your mind.

The second you realized it was his terrified screams in the room next to yours, you jumped out of bed and ran there without even pulling out a robe. With the corner of your eye you saw the twins running to his door as well, but before they could ever say a thing, you opened the door and locked yourself in.

Nikolai was in his bed, screaming in pain, his hands and feet were chained to the posts, while he helplessly pulled and tugged, trying to ease himself from whatever nightmare was clouding his mind.

Drops of sweat went down his face and neck while he frowned in pain, guttural screams and sobbed cries filled the room.

“Nikolai wake up” You sat next to him.

“GET AWAY FROM ME” he shouted with eyes still closed.

“Nikolai” you touched his face and he leaned into your palm; tenderly you continued to call his name repeatedly but his terror was only increasing. You could hear the twins already calling you out and threatening to knock down the door while your husband shrieked in pain.

Out of ideas, you climbed on his lap, pushing yourself against his agitated chest, while your fingers wiped his forehead.

“Easy, love, I am here with you.” You mumbled with your face crooked on his neck, kissing his skin softly. The weight of your body against his helped to lure him just enough to stop pulling the chains. “Nikolai, my love, everything is alright, it is just a nightmare.” 

“I don’t want to hurt you, go” he cried in his sleep.

“You would never hurt me and I would never leave you.” You said in his ear.

The door opened with a loud kick and soon enough Zoya and Tolya were next to you.

“Your majesty, you need to leave this room.” Zoya instructed while Tolya tried to lift you off Nikolai. You slapped his hands off and returned to your previous position. 

“He does not need an army, he needs to wake up.” You nearly yelled.

“He will turn into the monster, this is how it usually goes.” Zoya spatted, “He would want you to leave.”

“Then wake him up before he does!”

“We can’t, moi tsaritsa” Tolya said with shame.

“What do you mean you can’t?”

“The King is heavily drugged now, it is physically impossible for him to wake up before morning.” Zoya’s face remained proud, with her chin up and perfect posture.

“HE IS WHAT?” You spat.

“There is a solution but he has never taken it in this state” Tolya explained.

Under you Nikolai kept struggling. 

“Wake him up, NOW.” You ordered.

“Your majesty, with all due respect you do not know what you are aski-” Zoya began but you interrupted her.

“I am not asking, I am ORDERING you to wake him up.”

Where did you summon the courage to speak to her like that would be a mystery for the centuries, because all the time you had been here you barely dared to look at her and now you were ordering her to do something while you hugged your drugged off husband like a koala. With pursed lips, she looked at Tolya, who carried you off Nikolai with an ease you had never witnessed while Zoya took out a small vial and put a few drops on Nikolai’s mouth, it was a matter of seconds when he woke up startled.

“Where is she” he mumbled, still struggling to wake up. 

You stopped struggling at Tolya’s arms, securing you to the spot, looking at your husband while praying internally he would not call out for Zoya. None of you dared to make a move. With eyes still closed, he whispered in lazy words, “my wife, is she gone?” 

Tears spilled from your face freely, you knelt next to him, “I am right here, Nik.”

He barely opened his eyes when he whispered “Zoya”

You moved to stand when he struggled against the cuffs again, “take this off” He instructed while still looking at you, “I need to hold my wife.”

The General uncuffed him efficiently, when she was done, Nikolai ordered to be left alone with you.

“Did you hear what I said?” You did not summon enough confidence to look him in the eyes while you asked.

“I did.” he mumbled, “Come here” He commanded you as well.

You sat next to him on the bed, he rearranged you to lay next to him, an arm on your waist and your back to his chest. “What was that, Nikolai?”

“That was you stopping the monster.”

Both of you were exhausted, so without saying another word you nuzzled in him, falling asleep shortly after.

***

It was all a haze.

Rays of sunshine fluttering in your eyelashes, golden curls against your skin and a strong arm keeping you in place. 

He held you like a kid holding a teddy bear, his head on your chest with your heartbeat as a lullaby.

“Nik” you mumbled, still half asleep.

He raised his head to you, lids heavy and a smirk already on his face. “Good morning sunshine.” He mumbled before tumbling next to you again, nuzzling his face in your hair.

“What am I doing here?” Your slumber fog faded last night memories.

“Saving me.” He whispered in your ear as he laid a lazy arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him. He laid sleepy kisses on whatever skin he found; shoulders, neck, ear, and when he ran out he turned you to face him and continued his work on your neck.

“Nik” 

“No” he mumbled, “let me stay in this moment” he found a place that made your breath hitch and worked there with his teeth.

“We should ta-ahh” a soft moan caught your voice.

“Much better” 

Next your nails were digging on his scalp and he was on top of you, pulling your nightgown to make room for his trace.

“You’re never leaving this bed, darling.” 

“How, are you gonna chain me?” You joked.

The dirtiest, mischievous grin appeared on his face, “I was planning to keep you myself, but I am always open to comply with your darkest desires.”

You pulled his shirt open, sliding it off his arms.

He returned to your lips with a desperate pace and you felt his desperation between your legs as well.

The door opened with a loud thud and a man’s voice announced in panic “Moi Tsar, the queen is gone!”

Nikolai’s shoulders limited your visibility, and you thanked the saints the announcer could not see your crimson cheeks either. Nikolai bit a smirk, turning to the man without leaving his place on top of you, “I found her, you can go now. And lock the door on your way out.”

Your face was hot with embarrassment when Nikolai turned back to you.

“Now, would you rather have both hands together or one on each post?” He asked you with a grin.

“I’d rather have them in your hair.”

“yeah that’ll do” he leant back down to kiss you.

You pushed him softly, “Nikolai, we should talk about last night.”

He laid next to you, “Don’t you remember?”

“I remember yelling at Zoya” you looked at him, biting your lower lip in regret.

“Oh that will be fun” he mused.

You smiled, your sight and fingers focused on playing with his hair, “And climbing on your lap while you screamed, but then you woke up and everything was alright.”

“I was-uh- struggling with the monster.” He swallowed, his eyes lost on something past you, “I felt it overcoming me and then I heard your voice, I begged you to leave but you didn’t and somehow that… helped.” 

“Well you are very welcome” you joked.

“Since you’ve found the cure I am afraid I will have to keep you by my side forever” He pressed a peck on your shoulder, “if you want?” 

“Do you want me to? And not because I am useful to keep the monster at bay.”

His lips continued to kiss wherever skin could find, “I want you to stay.”

“Then ask me to.” Your gaze returned to his warm eyes.

“I can’t ask you that” he moved his head sideways, “because asking requires a logical process of thinking and certain authority to inquire in your life choices, and with you I have none of that. I can only pray on my knees for you to spare a glance my way.” He kissed your shoulder again, but more intently this time, “for you I only have incoherent beggars and unworthy cries” his lips traced towards your chest, “I save for you my most human pledgaries and I am to you not a king nor a sovereign but a man. This place fooled me to believe myself regal, all mighty, then you came around and turned me into a man, a lame attempt of one, so as one I do not get to ask of you a thing, as such I only get to beg the love of my life to please spend the rest of her nights nuzzled next to me, and her days holding my hand.” He left a wet trail on your chest and neck to fall back into your lips. 

Your eyes weary with emotion, you pulled him deeper into you with hunger. 

“Is that a yes?” He mumbled against your lips.

“I don’t think I can say no to you, moi tsar.” You finally answered before kissing him again.

[artificial-condition]

The last of the summer produce ❤️

[superbat-love]

Old!Superman: Happy New Year, young Bruce! [grabs him and kisses him]

Bruce: Superman. Wouldn’t it be Happy Old Year to you?

Clark: [horrified] What the— It’s you again! Please go back to your own timeline!

Old!Superman: But it’s a tradition for me to give all my beloved Bruces a kiss on New Year’s Eve!

Clark: [gritting his teeth] Stop cheating on your husband!

Bruce: Technically, it’s not considered cheating.

Old!Superman: [cheerfully] That’s what my Bruce said too. Goodbye, young Bruce! See you again next year! [disappears into a portal]

Clark: Ugh. How and why did I turn into a perverted old man in the future? I regret everything.

[violet-butterflies]

❥︎ yandere! Dilf Part 2

❥︎ Warnings ! ☞︎︎︎ drugging, stalking, delusional, doing things without consent, masturbation, NSFW ( male yandere! oc x female reader ) Click to see part 1 and part 3 !

"You wanna join daddy and mommy in bed, Yoon?"

The four-year-old nodded at his dad cutely as he climbed onto the bed, right between an unconscious woman and his dad. As soon as the four-year-old was comfortable, his dad took both his son and the sleeping woman. He then kissed the cheeks of both his son and the woman in his arms.

"I wuv you daddy..." the kid sleepily said to his dad as he let out a big yawn. His dad let out a loving smile as soon as his son said the adorable statement.

"I love you too buddy... What about mommy? Do you love mommy?"

"Mhm! But... why can't I call her mommy daddy?" Yoon asked as he tried his best to keep his eyes open to listen to his dad's answer.

"Mommy doesn't know that she's a mommy yet... It's a big surprise and we'll tell her soon!"

It never occurred to Junho (yandere! dilf) that his perfect mirage of a family would be broken anytime soon. He's always followed a very specific routine that rarely changes. It's always dropping his son to kindergarten, working until it was time for his son to go home, watching the hidden cameras in his house as y/n brings his son home to babysit. Then, it was either drugging the girl so she would be knocked out on his bed and in his arms or letting her go home and watching her in her house through a hidden camera he planted in a teddy bear he gave her.

He was stuck inside of a fantasy where you were his wife and living a domesticated life with him and his son. One day that fantasy will come true, Junho is definitely dedicated to making that dream a reality, however, why rush when he has all the time in the world?

After all, y/n was always under his watch so at this point he knows everything about her!

"Junho! So I have this barbeque party that I'm gonna host at my place next week. You and Yoon should totally come!" y/n invited one day before going back to her place.

"Barbeque party? That sounds fun! What's the occasion?" Junho curiously asked as an asleep Yoon was carried in his arms.

She giggled before answering, "It's a secret until the party!"

y/n then said her last goodbyes before walking out of the door, leaving a curious Junho standing at his front door.

A secret? What is she hiding that Junho could possibly not know about? To be completely honest, Junho did not like surprises at all. He likes to know as many things as he can and a surprise could either be bad or good.

Junho grumbled his way into his son's room to tuck his lovely son before sliding into his room. He plopped himself on his king-sized bed before trying to go to sleep and yet, he couldn't.

After tossing and turning a couple of times, he decided to take something out of his nightstand drawer.

It was y/n's panties.

Junho always felt guilty when he has to take the article of clothing out. He never likes it when he does something behind your back, especially something so lewd.

With one swift move, he took off his sweatpants before bringing one of his large hands that clenched onto y/n's panties over his nose. The other hand, went to his cock which was already beginning to get hard at the thought of masturbating using the panties of the woman he loves. It's not the proudest thing he's ever done but, it was the closest thing he has to making love with his beloved girl.

"Oh y/n... My beloved wife," he sighed after taking a whiff of the scent the panties held. His other hand was furiously moving on his angry cock as he desperately needed a release. His head was filled with images of a naked y/n under his body, moaning beautiful noises and holding his muscular body tightly with her soft hands.

With one last grunt, he released white strings of cum all over his hand and stomach. Sighing for the final time, the carefully made sure to put the panties safely into his drawer without it touching any of his cum (because that means he would have to wash it and that would make all her scent disappear) before lying back into bed.

Now he was tired and ready for bed and he did exactly that, falling asleep before post-nut clarity decides to bug him with any unwanted thoughts.

The week after, a casually dressed-up Junho and his excited son, Yoon, were waiting in front of y/n's front door. Multiple cars were parked around her house, all probably belonging to the other guests who were also invited to her barbeque party.

"Ah, Junho and Yoon! Please come in! We just finished grilling the first batch of food!"

Junho and Yoon eagerly walked in, Junho taking in all of the details of his beloved (soon-to-be) wife's house since it was his first time really being inside.

The muscular man recognized some of the guests that attended the party; those guests being some of the other teachers from the kindergarten she taught in.

Junho got to mingle with some of y/n's friends as he and his son ate the wonderful food prepared at the party. It made him feel closer to you now that he's met the people you surrounded yourself with and it was also a treat to see his own son getting along with some of the kids present; happy laughter and chatter filling up the wide backyard.

"Ok can I please have all of your attention please?" y/n's sweet voice asked while she softly hit the back of a spoon to her glass with to get everyone's attention.

All chatter suddenly halted as all eyes were on the h/c (hair colored) woman smiling happily.

"So, I'm sure that you all are very curious as to why I suddenly held a barbeque party," y/n started, "And it's also been very hard hiding this surprise from the closest people I know. But, I wanted to make it a special event since it is something that would only happen once in a lifetime."

For some reason, Junho had a terrible feeling in his stomach. He had an inkling of a thought that suggested that whatever y/n was about to announce would be something that could absolutely destroy him but, for her, he chose to keep a bated breath as he waited for this big surprise.

Junho watched as her hands held another man's hands to help him stand up, a loving gaze present in both of their eyes.

'No please don't do this to me.'

The foreign man then kissed his beloved's cheeks tenderly making her lips stretch into a wide smile.

'It's not what I think it is right? It can't be it right?'

She then showed off a diamond ring on her finger with a giggle that would've sounded melodic if Junho was the one to be the reason behind it.

'This has to be a joke right?!'

"Everyone meet Josh, my fiance! I'm getting married soon!"

At that moment, Junho felt his perfect daydream be painfully ripped away from him as his heart stopped at the announcement.

A/N Please send help I wrote this chapter after playing League of Legends for 13 hours straight. My back is so sore ouch. I wasn't gonna leave you all on a cliffhanger but the post was getting super long and my back is slowly transforming me into a shrimp.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this upload, and keep an eye out for part 3!

[ceoofglytchell]

Butterfly

| Prequel | Part 1 | Part 2 |

Summary: That fateful night on Driftmark Aegon has made a promise to you, one that he has even once never forgotten, while you were gone. However now six years later you return to him and- gods be good- he is going to make that promise a reality and he most certainly won't let you leave him another time.

Pairing: Aegon II Targaryen x Strong!Niece!Reader

Word count: 4214 words

Warnings: incest, Reader is described of having Strong like features, Reader is Rhaenyra's and Harwin's second child, fluff, angst, longing, thoughts of major dubcon (it’s only a thought and does not really happen), kinda miscommunication, hurt/comfort, allusions to smut, aegon being miserable, no mention of Y/N

Notes: I was not feeling good last week, but I am back now with this piece here, but I’m not sure if it’s good. But, as always, feedback and criticism is always appreciated and please remember that english is not my native language. Enjoy 💛

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅

"I promise that one day I will marry you."

Never once in your life have you forgotten the promise that your uncle Aegon had given you six years ago on the shores of Driftmark. Yes, he was drunk, and yes, he knew that your families would never let a union between the two of you come to be, but a boy could dream. At least that was how he had justified the vow later on when you had to separate the following morning.

You have always wished that your beloved uncle would fulfill his very promise one day, but unfortunately the chance got slimmer and slimmer the more years passed and the more protective your mother has gotten over you, because as Rhaenyra's first and only daughter nothing was easy.

You were born with brown curls and hazel eyes like your brothers, making the sin your mother had committed all the more obvious to anyone else, a walking reminder of her carelessness. However you were born much smaller in comparison to your brothers and even as you grew you remained petite and delicately looking, which caused Rhaenyra to fuss over you like a mother hen constantly, as if she feared you to be a porcelain doll that could shatter into a million pieces with just a touch. She certainly treated you this way.

Aegon however has always seen the watchful eyes and silent warning glances of his half-sister to be more of a challenge than an actual prohibition.

The prince had always been enamored with you, his little niece, but he has always bottled up all his hidden feelings for you within himself so it was only natural that one time where he had swallowed down cup after cup of dornish wine and you sat by him and held his hand after he had been scolded by his grandsire, the words spilled out of his mouth like a river.

He had barely been able to remember it the next morning, but as he saw the flush on your cheeks when he stood before you to say his goodbyes, he knew that you knew. It was either a curse or a blessing, but even as he had watched you leave with your mother, brothers, and a few of the servants, he had known that he would see you again one day and if he did, he would take you as his wife.

You were not sure what you had imagined when you and your family returned to King’s Landing after so many years to assure yourselves that Lucery's claim to the island of Driftmark was defined and would not be contested, but no matter how easy this task seemed to be on the first look, you quickly learned that this was not the case. Vaemond Velaryon and your great-aunt Rhaenys had also come.

However, their presence brought you less out of the concept than to see Aemond beating Ser Criston during sparring on the courtyard as if the man was nothing but a normal knight and not a loyal and trusted member of the King’s Guard. His cold look, when he had seen you and your brothers, made a shiver run down your back and a spark of fear set its roots within yourself, even if you had nothing to do with the tragic loss of his eye.

On that dark night you were with Aegon when it had happened. The older prince had drunken too many cups of wine and stumbled down the stairs that led down to the beach and hit his head. You had sat with him afterwards and watched over him, while he had clung to you as if you were the very last thing that kept him rooted to this world and that kept him from loosing himself to the darkness within his heart.

And then he had given you that promise. That one terrible promise that has been on your mind every single day, which had taken a special place in the depths of your heart. He had promised to marry you and you knew that he would do it, if you would get permission, which you doubted, however, because your mother wanted nothing to do with her half-siblings whatsoever.

You were reminded of said promise when you faced him again in the throne room after six long years; He and his family dressed in Hightower green and gold and you with yours in Targaryen red and black. The difference could not be greater and the tension that lay in the hall could be felt by everyone.

You tried to stick to your mother's words, you really did, but over and over again your warm gaze found his and every time you caught him staring right back at you, an unknown glimmer in his amethyst colored eyes, which you neither could nor wanted to explain.

However, things escalated quickly and your mother quickly pulled you out of the throne room by the arm, leaving the headless body of Vaemond Velaryon behind on the cold stone floor, for which your stepfather was responsible, the word 'bastards' echoing in your ears. It was not easy to be confronted with the truth after all these years, which your mother tried to hide so convulsively, although it was obviously in everyone's eyes and the entire realm knew the truth of your parentage.

Your shocked eyes found those from Aegon before you vanished behind the doors and you immediately knew that this was not the last time you would see him that evening- and you were right.

Your maids, who were also some of your closest friends at the same time, were currently dressing you for dinner when it suddenly knocked on the heavy wooden doors to your chambers, which still looked exactly the same before you had been forced to leave back then. Without having allowed him to come inside, Aegon stepped into the privacy of your old chambers, which were illuminated with flickering candles, whereupon the servants stopped tugging uncomfortably on your hair and stepped away from you, bowing their heads as was custom.

"You may leave us," you told the other women, whereupon they all looked at you with a questioning frown.

"But princess-" "Please, I can do it."

Neither you nor the maids knew really whether you meant your hair or the prince who stared at you without having lost a word so far, which was extremely untypical for your uncle. However, the cup of wine in his right hand was familiar and you immediately became painfully aware of how much you had missed him.

The moment the doors fell shut again and you both were alone in the room and actually stood in front of each other for the first time again in six years, a bright grin broke out on his face and he slowly took a few steps to get closer to you. "Welcome home, little butterfly."

You didn't know exactly what it was; the nickname, his voice, which had matured, or the fact that you finally looked at him again after such a long time, but you couldn't help but close the distance between you two and jump right into his arms.

Aegon was surprised for a brief moment, but he immediately returned your gesture and wrapped his arms around you as well and pressed your slender body tightly against his, burying his nose into your long brown curls, which were half put together into a braid, which was not finished, because you had sent your handmaidens out of the room as soon as you had laid your eyes on him.

He could hear how a quiet, content sigh escaped your lips, whereupon he felt himself relax in your embrace and he felt his grip around his golden cup of wine loosen slightly as if you were the sole cure for the addiction he had developed. After all these years and although you both have grown and changed, you still fit perfectly against him like the last piece of a puzzle that had finally found its rightful place.

"You cut your hair," you noticed with an audible smile in your gentle voice and you immediately snuggled closer to him as if the sole thought of being parted from him for a second time was unthinkable for you.

"And you have grown- if only a little."

You hit him playfully against his shoulder and leaned back a little so that you could look him into his lilac eyes, which you noticed no longer held the same glint as they had back then. In addition, deep dark circles under his eyes adorned his handsome face and he had become even paler, which was why you feared that you needed to worry about his health. He also looked very much tired. However, these little details did not change the fact that the man in front of you was as beautiful as he had been back then if not more.

"Still feisty, I see, butterfly."

"You did not forget it," you noticed with an almost melancholic smile on your rosy lips. Ever since you were children and a small white butterfly had landed on your head in the Godswood, which would happen two or three times more over time, he called you by the name of the animal, since you were probably just as fragile and delicate, you mused. At the beginning you did not really enjoy it, but over time you wanted to hear him say it over and over again- now too.

"Of course not. I would never forget you, my darling."

"Stop it." You looked down onto the ground so that he would not see the obvious blush on your cheeks, but he did regardless. As for you, he paid attention to everything, every little detail.

"I did not forget my promise to you either." The prince said and stroked with one hand over the length of your arm, which was covered by a silken red sleeve. Actually, you did not want to wear a red dress to dinner, as it would only illustrate the fronts between the two sides of your families, but your mother insisted on it. You personally have always preferred lighter colors.

"Really? You appeared to be very much... drunk when you gave it to me, Aegon." You carefully replied while you hesitantly grabbed his hand, the contact igniting a feeling of warmth in you, which you had been longing for as well.

"I was drunk, that much is true. However, I always am and I remember very well that I said that I would marry you."

"This was so long ago-" you said with a quick shake of the head, because you knew that time did not change anything about what he felt for you and what you felt for him. A marriage between the two of you would never be agreed to, even if you could not imagine marrying someone other than him. The hatred between the two sides of your family was just too big and your love would not mend the crack again.

"No, I am serious. Be my wife, please. There is no day that I did not think of you and wanted you to be by my side." He reached for your hands and held them firmly in his own as if that alone could convince you to marry him without further ado and preferably that evening right after having had dinner. He would not allow you to get betrothed, because then he would lose the opportunity to have the only person who has ever taken care of him and who has actually listened to what he had to say. If you were not there, he was miserable- the last few years have been proof of it.

On the other hand, you were completely perplexed and overwhelmed with the situation. You wanted him. He was the only one who had never treated you like a fragile doll or a mindless duckling, but just like a girl like any other and you liked that. You did not want to be considered weak by everyone- of all the dragons you rode Silverwing, by the gods, you were not weak. It was bad enough that you were a dragon rider and your mother did not allow you to ride as much as you would have liked.

Unfortunately, the truth was that Rhaenyra and Alicent would never agree to a union between him and you. They would rather die or burn in the seven hells and you wanted to save yourself the pain that would follow if you asked and the two older women would vehemently forbid it even if nothing spoke against it and it would actually serve to strengthen House Targaryen for future generations. Unfortunately, it was more likely that at some point he would marry one of the daughters of Lord Baratheon or his own sister Helaena and that you would have to marry Lord Cregan Stark eventually.

"You don't know me anymore. If you excuse me, my prince, I have to continue preparing myself for dinner now.”

With a jerk you pulled your hands out of his and sat down at your dressing table, trying to ignore him and push him away from you, because you would not be able to allow your feelings for him to bloom now and in the end you would have to spend your life with another. You would not be able to bear it. The prince looked at you with an expression of utter disbelief on his features, until then a flicker of anger crossed his gaze and he stormed out of your chambers without hesitation, the door falling shut so loudly that it made you flinch.

You just wanted to protect him as well as yourself.

Later at dinner you watched Aegon drowning himself in alcohol and staring at his plate without touching the food at all. Aemond, who sat on the other side of the table, stared at your siblings and you at all times, not letting you out of his sight, until it suddenly escalated and a single toast made everyone become aware of how fragile the bond that held your family together actually was.

Shortly afterwards, your mother informed you that you would return to dragonstone the very next morning and you felt right in your decision to have pushed away the man for whom you had deeper feelings for. It was better for both of you. At least that was what you kept telling yourself.

You told that to yourself when you came back to your rooms and found them empty and dark, you told yourself when you sat alone in front of the fireplace and loosened your braids, when you undressed, put on a light nightgown, and you kept repeating it to yourself when you climbed in bed at last and slowly began to fall into a peaceful sleep. You would not be able to bear the pain that would follow if you allowed yourself to actually be with him.

Aegon still felt the taste of dornish wine on his tongue and its effects clouding his senses when he stood in the middle of the night in the darkness of your bedchambers and stared down at your sleeping form in your bed, the moonlight that fell through the windows illuminating your soft features like you were the very image of the Maiden. He was slightly shaky on his feet and he was well aware that he should not be here, but he just could not control himself. Your rejection before dinner and the way you refused to speak a single word to him while you had sat beside each other had robbed him of his last bit of sanity and he just had to know what you felt.

He had a simple plan; slipping inside your rooms unnoticed, tainting your honor and showing his mother the proof of it in the morning, because then she would have to agree to a union just like his half-sister, since you would ruined for any other man. His plan had been so simple, he would just have to tear the blanket right of you, push your nightgown up to your hips and take his pleasure, but when he approached the edge of your bed and saw how peaceful you looked like sleeping, he could not bring himself to do it.

The prince felt a lump forming in his throat, his heart becoming heavy and he could not help but kneel on the floor next to the bed, while he buried his face next to yours in the pillow in the hope that you would not notice the tears of shame burning in his eyes. You should just sleep on and never find out that he was even here. He was a monster for even thinking of ruining you.

He sobbed into your plush pillows, his hands fisting the silken bed sheets tightly when he suddenly felt something stirring beside him on the mattress, but he did not raise his head just yet. He did not want to look you in the eye after what he had originally come for.

"Uncle? What happened?"

Your gentle voice was like a balm for his soul, but he still continued to quietly sob into your pillows. You did not even ask why he was here, but what had happened. Even now you took care of him, although you had wanted to distance yourself from him a few hours ago for a reason that he simply could and would not understand.

"What have I done? Why are you pushing me away from you? What has changed?”

You quickly rubbed the remnants of sleep out of your eyes and you began to caress his back with your small hands, which made a shiver run down his spine and the tears on his wet cheeks slowly started to dry because no new ones fell, at least not right now. Like always, your touch calmed him.

"Why are you here?" You asked him instead of giving him an answer to his previous questions, because you could not tell him the truth. To see how the man you loved cried on the edge of your bed because of something that you had done when you had actually just wished to protect him from that very pain was making your heart shatter into a thousand pieces. You did not want to feel this pain nor did you want him to experience it. What have you done?

"Don't go," he murmured and finally raised his head slightly again to look at you with his reddened, swollen eyes, even if the room was dark and both of you could barely make each other out in the dark.

"Don't leave me a second time, please. Not again... don’t do this to me."

You sighed and sat up in bed, because this was exactly what you had not wanted to happen. His sensitivity was no secret to you and you knew how much you meant to him and how much he meant to you. Your mother had decided that you would return to dragonstone and you could not argue against her decision after what had happened today at dinner. Your house was more fragile than ever and if the others were to find out what you felt for each other, it would be the stone that would set a giant chaos into motion. It would be the end of Haus Targaryen as you knew it.

"Go away, Aegon," you murmured and sat down in such a way that your knees were pressed against your chest and your arms were wrapped around your legs as if you wanted to give yourself a hug to comfort yourself.

“No, please ... darling, don’t," whimpered the older prince and climbed next to you on the soft mattress, desperately searching for your gaze and your closeness. He wanted to pull you into him, love you and never let you go again even for a small second, because you were the only thing in this world that gave him something akin to a glimmer of hope, a light in the deepest darkness of his broken soul.

"Butterfly…"

"Don't call me that!" You suddenly spat at him loudly, which immediately made him wince and made hot tears burn in his eyes once more, threatening to spill over his pale cheeks.

You have never been angry with him before. Never.

"I love you! Don't you see that? I love you so much, but I cannot live with the pain of loving a man that I cannot call my own.”

That was it. The words and the truth were out and he had heard them. His suffering broke your heart, but he deserved to hear these three words from you at least once. You loved him, you truly did, but a miracle would need to happen so that you would be able to live out your love. It was not his fault, nor was it yours, as it was the hatred that has been burning between your mothers for years- a hatred that would probably never vanish.

Aegon was speechless. For a moment he just shook his head in disbelief, which made his white curls fall over his forehead, but it did not prevent him from looking into your beautiful face and seeing in the desperate look in your dark eyes that you were serious. "But I already am yours, am I not?"

"Aegon..." Your shoulders sagged even further down and you pushed your legs even further against your upper body, the sight of it making him miserable, because he did not want to imagine what would have happened had he actually went through with his plan and he would have taken you without your consent and made you his without warning. You would probably have shouted and fought back and he could never have forgiven himself for it and you would never have forgiven him either. No, he was glad that he had not done it.

He carefully approached your trembling shape on the bed and he tenderly wrapped his arms around you and pressed you against him as firmly as he could. Now you started to sob into his shoulder bitterly and he started to slowly rock you back and forth, while he buried his nose into your brown hair like he had done earlier, because your scent always seemed to calm him down, but your hair was also a sign for everyone else that you should not exist and that you, being a bastard, would be monstrous by nature, but he could not care about that in the slightest. You were beautiful on the inside and outside and one day he would prove it to you- perhaps even tonight.

"Marry me?" Back then it was a promise, now it was a serious question and he meant it with every fiber of his body. You were meant to be his wife, even if your love would be a scandal in the eyes of the gods, but he has never been a religious man anyways.

"I can't, uncle, I can't."

Aegon started to place soft and slow kisses on the top of your head. He began his exploration on your hair, then wandered down to your forehead, brushing his lips over your eyebrows, over your cheeks, which were wet from the tears that you shed for him until he reached your own lips, which looked so soft and inviting that he could hardly hold back.

"Marry me." He whispered against your lips and he looked for your gaze to see what was going through your head. Your eyes had always been the mirror to your soul.

His voice, his pleading tone, his warm breath that stroked your face, and the sudden closeness to him was just too much for you.

You do not dare to say it, but a simple, barely noticeable nod on your part was enough and the prince kissed you as if his life depends on it, his hands wandering over every centimeter of your body while he gently pushed you to lay on your back and he hovered over you, not separating his mouth from you for even a split second.

The rest of the night you both drowned in a sea of desire and pleasure, years of wanting and yearning coming to its climax. At some point, his hands had sneaked under the fabric of your nightgown, undressed you, while you had returned the favor at the same time, whereupon he had not lost any time to show you what it would mean to be his wife and you enjoyed every single second of it.

Neither Aegon nor you really listened to the argument that followed the next morning after your maid had told Rhaenyra who she had found laying next to you in your bed and what had to have happened at night based on the red stain on your sheets. Insults got thrown around, voices became louder, but you merely snuggled closer to your lover, who protectively wrapped an arm around your waist and leaned his head to yours while a feeling of happiness flooded him.

You were his now and neither his mother nor yours could ever take you away from him ever again. It was too late for that now.

Love was often said to be the death of duty and Aegon Targaryen would not give a single shit about duty for the rest of his life if it meant he got to forever hold you in his arms like this and love you like you deserved.

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅

[softlypaintedseafoam]

i'm your conscience, i am love

synopsis. with new waters on the horizon and wano embracing a new dawn, you enjoy a private moment with your beloved swordsman.

pairing. roronoa zoro x f!reader

word count. 0.7k | masterlist

content warning. wano spoilers, reader is coded black (written ambiguously. anyone can read), established relationship, soft zoro, silent 'i love you's

reblogs & interactions appreciated.

a surprise gift for my friend @triangularz >:3c hehe, surprise hazel, i'm sure you didn't see this coming! i'm also back at it again with the i would die 4 u titles, i did warn you guys though. i've never written for zoro before but i wanted to give it a go!

You'll miss the beauty of the Flower Capital.

A fragment of guilt takes hold of your heart; yet you can't stop yourself from admitting it. From the crystal blue lake with flower petals delicately floating across its surface to the vibrant green eaves that accompany you. The Flower Capital is aptly named. It is a sight to behold, especially when juxtaposed to the current conditions of the rest of the country.

The next time you see Wano, you pray that it will be when green covers the whole of the island.

Tama will be a step closer to her dream of becoming a kunoichi, darling and excitable. Momonosuke will be a touch more mature and Hiyori will be will be as rambunctious as ever, giving her brother a run for his money now that she no longer needs to project herself as the most sought over oiran in the whole of Wano. By then, Yamato may return with you all as a full-fledged Straw Hat, seeing the country of his birth for the first time in years.

Yes, it's a wonderful scene to imagine. The warm hugs and the banquet that will ensue privately in the castle, Wano unaware that its unsung heroes have returned.

For now, though, the unsung heroes will be living in the morning.

So for today, your crew prepares their exodus and says their necessary goodbyes. For today, you can enjoy a small walk in the forest with your partner and see the scenery one last time. All without the worries that Zoro will get lost like if you were to live him to his own devices.

Wano's healing won't be an immediate change.

No amount of hoping and wishing will do that. But everything has to start somewhere, you fasten your grip on Zoro's arm. He glances at you curiously before you smile in return, giving him arm a brief squeeze. All things are fine here! "Just thinking about how nice it'll be to see Wano after some time passes," you sniff the fragrant aroma of cherry and plum blossoms. "By then, Luffy'll be King of the Pirates, you know. And I'm sure you'll have knocked Mihawk off of his throne."

Zoro's lips spread into a grin, dark eyes glinting with mischief. Of course, you can hear him say. That's the only way we'll come back here! "I wonder who'll be trying to dethrone me by then," you're sure he is imagining his hypothetical opponents with he laughs. It's fittingly Zoro that he the prospect only excites him. You try to picture it; a Zoro 20 years from now staring down a spunky teenager challenging him for his title. What sort of adventure will that person go on to reach levels necessary to fight the King of Hell?

You can only hope it will be as wonderful as the one you're on right now.

"Do you think they'll go sailing across the Grand Line to get strong enough to defeat you?" Maybe they'll come across the sky islands or surf the sands of Alabasta. "Go on a crazy adventure and learn about the world?"

Zoro looks boyishly young, like a child winning his first match in a duel at his dojo. "They'll have to if they ever want to defeat me," he nods firmly, grinning with all of his teeth. "Maybe throw in one person whose fought me before. If they can't handle someone whose ass I've kicked, they definitely can't handle me. And they can't have any scars on their back," he adds in quick succession.

"Maybe they'll fall in love," you giggle knowingly, raising your brows in a playful motion. You hold the gaze of dark eyes with tender affection that is doubly reciprocated.

"That wouldn't be so bad," Zoro's voice is a quiet, warm timber. There's a near melodic quality to it that you can't describe and everything is green. When did green become your favorite color? Stubborn verdure, pulsing with the vitality of life and everything beautiful about it. You're arrogant enough to believe Zoro looks at you like you're the one that embodies those qualities rather than him. "That wouldn't be bad at all."

Your adoration bubbles over the surface and you raise one of Zoro's hands, pressing a kiss against his palm. The walk comes to a sudden pause, Zoro gently wresting his hand from your grip to cup the side of your face. A thumb grazes your bottom lip. "You might as well commit to the full thing," he murmurs, lips brushing against yours before pressing them together firmly.

[shunsuiken]

DON’T FORGET WHO’S TAKING YOU HOME (and in whose arms you’re gonna be).

pairing(s). kaeya, childe, ayato, kaveh, neuvillette x fem!reader

genre. fluff

wc. 200-400 for each character

an. AND SING WITH ME 🎤🎤 SO DARLING SAVE THE LAST DANCE FOR MEEE michael buble literally left no crumbs with this song i had to write about it omg + ALSO happy valentines day everyone !!! i may not have a valentine this year but im happy to post this for anybody feeling a little lonely today !! you are so so loved okay ?!!! come and collect a kiss from me before reading on 💋 MUAH have a lovely valentines day !!! <33

kaeya alberich

you’re really good at hiding, kaeya thinks to himself with a huff and a smile on his lips. searching all over the plaza for you was making him break a sweat in his navy blue tuxedo. with another turn around the corner he decides to remove his tuxedo jacket for the time being, folding it over his arm to carry instead.

“no, no, no klee! stop it! you can’t play with your things here, if you blow things up-”

“-master jean will put me in solitary confinement…”

oho, kaeya recognises these two voices very well. he finds it so hilarious that at the end, his feet lead him right to you! not even a single thought was processed as he turned the corner two seconds ago but here you are.

he hides behind the large potted plant, listening to the conversation you and the beloved spark knight share. he stays there until it becomes quiet between you two.

“kaeya, you peacock, i know it’s you.”

kaeya lets out a baffled noise, finally showing himself from behind the plant, offended by the ridiculous nickname you gave him. “snowflake, how dare you?”

“klee, don’t eavesdrop on people like this man when you grow older, yeah?” you point animatedly at your lover, who’s folding his arms and scoffing at you.

klee only giggles, nodding her head. “i gotta go find albedo now!” you watch as she skips off towards the plaza, waving goodbye.

you then turn towards your next problem that stands behind you. “i thought you were out dancing?”

“i was, but they’ll start playing the last dance soon and how can my last dance not be with you?” your lover walks towards you, pulling you closer by your waist with his free arm. you immediately wrap your arms around his neck, smiling softly at his intentions.

you hear an announcement echoing from the plaza before you can reply, and you figure it might have been mika because of how timid the voice sounded.

“good evening everyone, please bring all your friends and company over for the last dance of the night!”

“sounds like our queue.” you slide your arms off his shoulder to grab his hand, pulling him with you without warning.

“oh snowflake, hold on-” kaeya almost trips on air and the sounds of your laughter bounce off the concrete floor and walls as you drag him down the staircase leading to the plaza.

childe

you can never refuse ajax’s request for a dance, because he won’t take no for an answer. especially when it comes to dancing. your feet hurt so much. you’re so ready to just fall on top of your bed and go to sleep. but the only thing that keeps you wide awake, heart pumping and everything is the look on your lover's face.

his gaze usually has this inhumane and dull look to them, but you find that whenever he looks at you or when he participates in something he loves, his gaze finally twinkles. it works so miraculously too. like all of a sudden life was returned to him and he could see.

the smile on your lips grows when you think about this. you think it’s sweet how you’re one of the reasons that the life in his eyes returns.

ajax notices the tighter grip you hold on his forearm, making his lips curl in curiosity. “what’s going on in your head, baby?”

you zone in on the situation, you’re still dancing, and you shake your head in response. “nothing, ajax.” you want to keep your thoughts to yourself but when ajax smiles at you like that, with the most expectant look on his face, you can’t help yourself. “actually, i just thought about the dance.”

he twirls you around to the music before connecting arms with you again. “you just thought about the dance?” his brow quirks in amusement.

“no, no not like that,” you say with a sheepish chuckle before continuing, “i just thought that this number is the longest one so far.”

“well of course,” ajax responds with an eye smile. “it’s the last song.”

“it… is?” you look up at ajax while trying to fight the urge to look anywhere else.

if this is the last song… and you’re dancing with him… then that can only mean-

when the choreography allows ajax to pull you against his chest, he leans down so he can whisper in your ear, “you will be my final dance partner tonight.”

kamisato ayato

these few days at fontaine have been strumming the strings of your heart like a guitar—ayato has been spending so much time with you that you’re beginning to think of such ridiculous conclusions. his eyes that linger on your face, his hand that hovers on the small of your back when leading you out of a hall and it’s just these little things that he does with you that makes you want to claw an entire curtain off its rod. one time he even poured you a glass of wine before taking a sip with the same glass—it’s like he’s forgotten he’s the yashiro commissioner!

thoma and ayaka barely bat an eye. but also, they’ve known ayato for much longer than you have since you were a recent (and lovely) addition to the little family. so… perhaps this is just how he acts?

“uh-huh, when he’s courting someone that is.”

the sentence that thoma said offhandedly is the only thing that rings through your mind. but your thoughts must’ve shone through your expression because ayato is quick on his feet to smoothly guide you off the dance floor, gloved hand still holding yours as he brings you to a less crowded area—the balcony.

“you appeared to be distracted, that’s why i pulled us away,” ayato breaks the silence and your train of thoughts.

he’s still holding my hand—is what you’re repeating in your head. your eyes can barely focus on a single object within your field of vision. your bottom lip quivers at the revelation you’re carefully starting to uncover.

“i am not distracted,” you inhale sharply when you accidentally meet ayato’s gaze. “i…” your brows crease as you try to get words out of your mouth.

ayato brings your hand up to his lips, placing a chaste kiss on the back of your hand and you can physically feel the blood rush up to your fingertips. “would my lady like to return to the hotel?”

your voice leaves your throat in but a hoarse whisper, “what did you just call me?”

you hear a chuckle from ayato and it makes you snap your head around in embarrassment. this new term of endearment rolls off his tongue way too easily, the rascal must have been practicing!

“oh no, no, no, my lady, you must look at me,” a grin appears on ayato’s face at your attempts to hide your expression and when he finally gets you to look at him, you’re caged between his arms.

“why would you call me that?” you whine at his teasing.

“well i just couldn’t keep it to myself anymore,” ayato murmurs, a dust of pink decorating his cheeks. “will you allow me to call you that?”

kaveh

three hours. it’s been three hours since you and kaveh decided to learn a cute couples dance routine ‘for funsies’. whose idea was this again? weren’t you two supposed to be just friends? doesn’t kaveh have a client meeting tomorrow that he should be preparing for?

“so we do this—then this and then we’re supposed to oh—!”

the silence is deafening. the song playing in the background fades as you both stare at each other, even mirroring the same expression. eyes as wide as saucers. lips just inches from connection.

kaveh’s breath fans over your lips and you can hear the audible gulp he makes at the closeness. he’s also entirely aware that the red in his cheeks has reached his ears by now. while you, on the other hand, have started hearing the percussion of your heart in your own eardrums.

“o-oh…” your legs are frozen in place and hang on a second, why haven’t either of you let go?

his hand is respectfully sat on your waist, while the other is occupied holding your hand. you hear him inhale and it grabs your attention before you can get anymore lost in his gaze. his gaze observes your lovely face, eyes flickering from one feature to another as he whispers, “has anybody ever told you you’re pretty up close?”

you shake your head ever so slightly. “no.”

kaveh likes this answer, humming as he ponders for a moment.

your eyes sparkle when that handsome smile of his appears on his lips. he chuckles shortly at your expression, your palm feels so warm when connected with his.

“i’m glad i’m the first to tell you.”

neuvillette

“oh dear, neuvillette,” you chuckle softly, walking towards him as he takes another sip of his water. he stands in a more secluded corner of the hall, briefly greeting guests with a nod of the head. which is why he stands out like a sore thumb—arctic white hair, designer blue suit and a piercing gaze.

but that gaze doesn’t fool you. the dragon sovereign is probably pondering on retiring for the night and is only still present to keep up with appearances.

“yes, lady y/n?” it’s to nobody’s surprise that he heard you from metres away.

when he turns around, your eyes immediately land on the problem you’ve sensed since you returned from the dancefloor.

“your tie,” you reply, standing in front of his figure, nonchalantly raising your hands in preparation to adjust the garment. “will you allow me to fix it?”

the gears in neuvillette’s mind pause abruptly at your question. he certainly has no problem readjusting his own tie. his hands aren’t holding anything else other than his cup of water—which he can definitely put down on a nearby table!

but why can’t he bring himself to say no?

the ‘of course’ leaves his lips faster than he would have liked, but that’s no matter, your expression shows no sign of displeasure. instead, he watches your sweet smile brighten.

when your fingers reach the tie, neuvillette notices how you tiptoe to reach him. so he does what any normal person would do—he leans down.

it catches you off guard, the tips of your fingers just slightly grazing against his neck in the process. you profusely apologise in whispers to which neuvillette can only chuckle at.

“it is no trouble lady y/n, i appreciate the kind gesture.” the corner of neuvillette’s lips curve, his hands neatly tucked behind him as he allows you to redo his tie.

neuvillette’s lips only seem to further break into a smile as he watches you pat on the tie in completion.

“there, all finished.” you look up at the iudex, chuckling, “you ought to learn how to do this yourself.”

neuvillette hums, “perhaps you could teach me.” he takes your hand, gently brushing his lips against your knuckles before kissing it. “but for now a dance shall suffice, would you care to join me?”

[caplanbuckybarnes]

In The Lonely Shadows (2/2) Dean W.

Summary: Crowely's always there to help convince you everything's going to be okay after Dean leaves with Lisa & Ben.

the first part of this was requested by my beloved wife @midnight-moonlight-and-mars sometime back in March.

Request: I've got a Crowley request! It can be platonic or romantic. It takes place the year Sam is resurrected and dean is living with Lisa. The reader was close with the Winchesters but after the fight with Lucifer dean abandoned the reader to be with Lisa and cas never answers ( unrequited love maybe?) so the reader teams up with Crowley and becomes like a bounty hunter for him for Lucifer loyalists. 

A/N: It's technically not Crowley x reader since she's pining for Dean. Oops, but I hope you enjoy this all the same, my love.

A/N #2: people were rabid about asking me for a part two. So please, enjoy!

WC: 1.7K

Warnings: mentions of loneliness, and blood, the reader feels abandoned and unloved, crowley’s nice, dean returns. sassy & protective crowley

[READ PART ONE HERE]

Read on Ao3!

--

Dean watched as your chest heaved up and down with every breath you took. The wind was howling outside, with rain pouring down. He was only partially soaked, having run for cover under teh pitiful awning above your hotel door. A suitcase was tucked into one hand and a backpack filled with supplies slung over the shoulder. He'd wanted to say goodbye before he left. But he couldn't. He was a coward, after all. He'd had a few visits from Castiel and Crowley, neither of them saying a word about you.

Though, he asked. He hasn’t spoken a word about Sam, either. The horror of watching Sam fall into the pits of Hell with Adam devastated him. So he ran away. He ran away to the person who would get him away from the hunter’s life, Lisa and Ben. He played pretend for as long as he possibly could.

Until he couldn’t keep up with the facade anymore. All he did was think about you, and the life the pair of you could have had. He’d find himself hovering over your name in his cellphone but never pressing the call button. Oftentimes, he’s stay up late at night, while Lisa laid peacefully next to him sleeping.  He knew he couldn’t lie to her forever about what - or who - truly had his heart.

Oftentimes, when he dreamed, it was about you, your face and your hands wrapped tightly in his as you started behind him on hunts. Thats what he loved about you the most, how much you trusted him to protect you.

So months after he departed, he located you in this dingy motel, where rodents and garbage littered the parking lot, and a few street lamps flickered dangerously in this damned storm. He’d gotten a replacement key to your room, claiming to the sketchy old man at the kiosk that he was your husband and you didn’t leave the key outside for him. So, on the threshold of the hotel room is where he stood, his fight or flight response kicking in the moment he laid eyes on you again.

He hadn’t seen you in months, far too long. But not long enough to forget the way your cheeks puffed out while you were embarrassed or the way your hair always fell into your face when you’d laugh at his stupid jokes. He couldn’t forget the way you would shuffle into his warmth at night, either.

God, did he miss the way you infected all of his clothing with your perfumes. 

He hesitantly stepped into the room, only to stop midway through in almost a panic. What if you moved on? What if you didn’t want to see him? What if you shot him? He wondered at that moment if you held any protection on you, or if you’d thrown all of it away.

But he took the chance anyway and stepped fully into the room, closing the door behind him quietly. He quietly toed out of his shoes and turned around before fully surveying the room. He couldn’t see any other person’s belongings in the room, so he assumed you were indeed alone.

Nervously, he tiptoed to the bed and studied your face for a long moment. He remembered everything about you-- your eyelashes, the dimple on your cheek. He wanted to reach out to you, nearly stopping himself as he felt his arm move without his command. He brushed his fingers against your cheek before he knew what he was doing and stepped back as your eyes had flung open in terror.

“Y/N,Y/N, it’s me, it’s Dean,” he said, reaching behind him for the pistol he always carried with him, though, he would never attempt to hurt you in any sort of way. “Hey, hey.”

“Dean?” you blinked through the darkness of the room. You must have been sleeping. Because you thought you heard Dean’s voice. And you thought you seen him standing mere inches away from where you slept on the bed.

Before he could get the chance to respond, another voice filled the room, a voice you’d come to recognize and acknowledge throughout these last few months.

“She doesn’t need you, Squirrel. She’s doing great without you.” Crowley’s voice echoed in the small room. 

Pulling yourself into a sitting position on the bed, you wiped at your eyes before switching your gaze between the pair in front of you. Crowley had been watching you over the weeks, which you had grown weirdly accustomed to, so it was no surprise that he had appeared out of the blue. What had startle you, was the other man standing mere inches away from you. If you just lifted your arm a few inches, you would be able to clasp your hands together.

“You left her high and dry after Moose had fallen into the depths of Hell, where, mind you, he’s been shacking it up with Lucifer. You should hear the agonies and woes from him.”

You could see the agitated twitch in Dean’s cheekbones, even in the poor excuse of light shining through the cracked window curtains.

“But now, back to the matter at hand, hmm?” Crowley snapped his fingers, and the two-night lamps turned on, casting the room in sudden brightness that none of you was prepared for.

“How’s Lisa and Ben?” Crowley smirked as Dean looked entirely uncomfortable at the jabs. “Didn’t want to be a family man anymore, huh? Did she decide she didn’t want your baggage?”

“It’s none of your business, Crowley,” Dean quipped. He snuck a look towards you and almost melted at the sight of tears in your eyelids. He wanted to erase the heartbreak he had caused you. He wanted to erase the pain away from you.

He only wanted you to forgive him. He wanted you and only you. He wished he hadn’t run off after Sam had gone to Hell, but he was broken and insecure. He was scared that you would leave him as well, so he did the only thing he could think of doing at the time: He ran away.

He begged for Lisa to forgive him, and she did. She took him in immediately, even after he explained all that went down with Lucifer and Adam and Sam. She took care of him. And for a while, he could forget all the pain. He could mourn the loss of his brother in peace. But there had always been a hole in his heart that Lisa nor ben would veer be able to fill.

He hadn’t known it at the time until he had sat up the night before and wallowed in misery after having nothing but dreams and nightmares about you for months.

“No harsh words, Not Moose?” Crowley taunted as he took a step toward you, causing Dean to nearly topple backwards onto the bed you were still sitting on. “No quips? Nothing? What do you have to say for yourself? Because while you were playing house, I was left to pick up the piece of her broken heart! How noble of you.  Leave her behind to wallow in misery, and now what? You expect her to swoon because you're back? Pathetic."”

You never thought you would see the day when the king of hell would be red in the face at the Winchesters. But here he was, pointing a threatening finger in Dean’s direction while the other man looked like a kicked puppy. 

You wanted Crowley to stop the insults at Dean. But the fact that he was protecting you in this way meant so much to you. You never knew how much Crowley actually cared about you. 

"I bet she’s just thrilled to have you back. Nothing says 'I care' like a good old-fashioned abandonment, right?" Crowley scoffed.

“Crowley, enough,” you sighed as you finally pushed the duvet away from your body and stood up, causing Dean to look at you with hope. With your request, Crowley quieted down, though he didn’t cease the glare or scowl on his features. Ignoring him, you took a breath, taking Dean’s height in stride. “So, what? You show up at my doorstep and nearly scare me to death, for what?”

“I was wrong,” Dean swallowed, blinking slowly as tears piled against his eyelids. “I never should have left you the way i had. You were mourning Sam as well, and I was a coward for leaving you. I never once stopped thinking about you. I never once let you out of my mind. Lisa knew it, Ben knew it.’

“I’m not forgiving you, Dean.” you held your ground, even as you had to wipe the tears away from your cheeks. “How could I forgive you? Do you know what the hell I’ve been through? You weren’t the only one to lose a brother, you know? Sam was my family as well.”

He opened his mouth, only for you to cut him off.

“It’s been fourteen months, Dean—fourteen long, terrible months. I celebrated Sam’s birthday without you. I celebrated your birthday without you. Crowley was the only one to check with me. Do you know he saved me from death on numerous occasions? That could have been you.”

He looked utterly defeated at the mention of the birthday celebrations. He could only imagine you singing to yourself with some cheap cake and a gas station lighter, wishing for the family you once held as you blew out the candles.

“Dean, I don’t know whether to hit you, kiss you, or put a bullet in you.” you scowled, pushing past him to walk over to the bathroom to wash your face. Leaving the door open, you heard Dean shuffle around Crowley to get to you again. 

“I can’t leave you, not again. Never again,” he watched your reflection as you grabbed for a hand towel and wiped the water from your face. 

Glaring at him momentarily, you sighed heavily before turning around and leaning against the counter. “Crowley will kill me for this. But I can’t help but think that I’m still in love with you. We can talk more about this in the morning. I had a long few weeks, and I’m absolutely exhausted.” 

Eagerly, Dean followed you out of the bathroom, barely noticing Crowley’s absence as he tucked you into the bed before he climbed in himself.

--

**totally up for a part three IF people want it. So please, please, please, if you enjoyed this reblog this & leave comments.

[bunji-enthusiast]

Hope you're doing well!! Please take however long you need to get your creative juices flowing <333 may I order a Dogday recognizing Poppy's Angel is actually the former Playtime Co. employee he and many others came to love and cherish due to their kindness? The reader is THAT employee that others envy, many of the toys LOVES them and prefer to be taken care of by them.

Maybe the reader had found out the sinister nature of the company but is understandably afraid to speak up about it as they realized their old co-workers maybe weren't just fired or " quit " out of thin air after all... Perhaps something happened behind the scenes that made the reader " quits " ( Maybe they could be threatened but by a lot of pleading and bargaining, they're spared but has to keep their mouth shut and never come back, otherwise... )

The toys are devastated, angry and just lots of mixed emotions. The reader feeling more and more guilty as they venture through their once happy place and having to harm the ones they once swore to care for.

The rest is up to you! Please again, take care and take your time, all the best in everything <333

I'm So Sorry

Note || oh my hearttt the angstttt, lovely to write this as always. In the form of head canons if that is alright? ^^

WC || 1,035

Sypnosis || you knew otherwise, presumably what went on. You just didn’t mean to harm those around you.

Being aware of something most employees where not had dug you a thorough grave, you didn’t want to leave your beloved friends in the toy factory. A factory misconstrued on a basement of lies and futility you may as well be well over with, and bury it in the ground. Yet, bury in the ground they did. 

Your superiors had learned of your knowledge of these things, and began sending letters. Bit by bit, they had only started off by threatening you; telling you to keep quiet. They didn’t want their precious reputation to be ruined by the likes of you. Still, you continued to stay, you didn’t want to leave your loved ones. All the friends you’ve come to love, eventually becoming like family for you.

You weren’t deaf nor blind to what the superiors at Playtime Co. do, quite literally you’d have to bandage your eyes or plug your ears to ignore all that was happening behind the scenes, you didn’t let it fall on deaf ears however. Eventually soon enough it was eating away at you to actually just quit, just straight up disappear from Playtime Co.’s eyes. 

Among the many toys; Huggy, Kissy, Mommy, and Poppy, hell even CatNap began to wonder where you went. Why did you flat-out depart from working at the Factory so suddenly? One day you were visible and present, the next you had not shown up. Oddly enough they soon had gotten their answer when the Hour Of Joy had occurred, Huggy Wuggy had come across your paper of termination when he had taken upon himself in the act.

So long ago, that was a decade past you left that life behind. You really wished you would have granted them goodbyes before you had gone, yet it seemed you got that chance to do so when you received a paper in the mail that had appeared to be from your co-workers. Word for word you could remember reading, everyone thinks the staff disappeared ten years ago, we’re still here. Find the flower.

The only reason you even had to come back to the factory in the first place was because of the guilt easily overwhelming your logic, you needed answers. You needed to know what happened to your co-workers and all the toys you cared deeply for, yet you had an overwhelming suspicion you really knew what happened to all the staff in Playtime Co. you simply just weren’t present for it. Having technically already left. 

Seeing Huggy Wuggy on the pedestal again brought back some memories for you, he was certainly a hoot. In a way, you really liked him along with the rest of the toys. He was certainly a unique one out of the few–especially along with Kissy Missy. You thought they were a cute pair together, Kissy always managed to calm his murderous tendencies and Huggy was always someone you can count on for a good hug if you ever had a bad day.

Killing is not something you would ever dare think of doing, it was simply not in your mind or blood to do so. So why did you have to resort to killing Huggy? You silently wept, having no time to grieve for him properly as you had to trudge on along to the flower.

Poppy was the last person (or toy, ahem) you expected to find in that case you came across. Now you find yourself in the game station, seeing her get pulled away like that right after she offered to give the code to you had you on the steels of your nerves, you were immediately very close to being in an angry mood. 

Now you had to deal with Mommy’s antics, you felt for her, but you certainly wouldn’t want to go through the trouble of trying to get the code from Mommy. Least of all having to resort to killing her, as she would not listen to your words. Convincing her was impossible to do, trying to make her remember you was a whole different story.

Crap.

Why’d she have to go in a rage? Now she’s dead too, and what in the seven circles of hell did she mean by “HE’LL MAKE ME PART OF HIM! YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME!” You shudder when a mechanical hand comes to pull away Mommy’s corpse, you mentally make a note that is the Prototype. As you’ve come to learn the name after you had scavenged Elliot’s office. 

Soon you learn what Mommy had meant, arguably enough you were angry that Poppy had derailed your only train to get out of Playtime Co. but your heart had ached too much to not finish what you started. Now CatNap was hunting you while you ran around in Playcare, you just never expected to see such an untimely sight that nobody should be put in.

DogDay was hurt, real bad. His legs were severed, he wasn’t long and limber like you remember him to be. His life seemed to be completely drained and sucked away from him, you wince when he moved, movement appeared to be harsh to even put energy into. Your heart bleeds for him, yet you are surprised when he actually recognizes you from before, all those years ago. 

“Angel, you! Y-You're the one that cared for so many of us.” You nod, parental instinct already kicking in to free him from his belts from which he hung from. DogDay doesn’t deserve a fate like this, not then and especially not now. “You don’t need to, leave me here.”

“Oh hell no, you need to live.” You refute, shushing him before DogDay begins to protest. You sigh in relief once he finally is free, as selfish as it may be, he hadn’t ever attempted to kill you. You wanted someone with you that actually remembers you and doesn’t try to gun for you the moment you even step into the vicinity.

Gosh, you really hoped to get this over with. Guilt weighing heavily in mind as you had to kill so many toys, so many that you cared for. 

At Least it meant to be in the name of self defense.

Right?

[imtryingbuck]

Seven

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky comes from a well respected family, he falls in love with a girl who prefers the simple things in life. Follow their journey through the years.

Word count: 6,178

Warnings: fluff, angst, talks of child abuse - heavily. mentions of injuries and scars on a child. swearing

A/N: No description of reader other than she has curly hair.

Masterlist   Series Masterlist

He first met her when he was seven.

The day started off as the same as those that came before; wake up, have breakfast, get ready and head to the east wing of his home to begin his tutoring. Have lunch, carry on with the schoolwork, and be done for the day.

Even after he said his goodbyes to Mrs Mars he was still stuck in a routine.

Day in and day out.

However that day was different because it was Friday. Every Friday his best friend Steve came to stay over for the weekend, every weekend they caused havoc. Not that Winnie or George minded, all week they saw their son miserable until his friend arrived on Fridays at 3pm, not a minute earlier and not a minute later. Sadly that hadn’t happened for three weeks as Steve and his ma had to go to Staten Island for a family emergency.

To Bucky Staten Island was on the other side of the world, so when he found out that Steve had to leave for a few weeks - well he kicked off.

He destroyed everything that was in his path, crying and begging his ma to stop Sarah from taking his best friend away. Promising her that if she let Steve live with them that he would be on his best behaviour, forever and ever he promised her.

Once he had exhausted himself out and grew tired the whole house went quiet.

For the three weeks that he didn’t see Steve he was quieter, he sulked at his desk and at the dinner table. He was restless, and as the Fridays approached and went by his attitude only grew worse.

Winnie nearly cried in response to hearing Sarah saying that her and Steve would be leaving the next day. Winnie oddly enough found some comfort in knowing that Steve was acting the same way as her beloved James. Winnie had decided that she wasn’t going to tell James about how on that Friday he was going to be reunited with his best friend, keeping it to herself and her husband in order to surprise him. 

A seven year old Bucky made his way in to the kitchen glaring at his mother when she told him that he needed to come with her, they made their way to the front door just as a knock cut through the silence.

“Open the door sweetie” she told him, ignoring the glare that was coming from her only son.

Not wanting to be in trouble with his father again he complied with his mothers instructions.

Hand on the door handle he opened the door, the frown he wore day in and day out for 21 days vanished when he sees his best friend standing there.

“S-Stevie?”

“Bucky”

“You’re back?”

“I am”

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too.“

Both Winnie and Sarah watched on as their sons talked and as Bucky pulled Steve into a bone crushing hug - which didn’t last long as Steve started to scuffle up Bucky’s hair, then both of them started to wrestle with one another.

“Come in Sarah, I’ve missed you my friend” They left the two seven year olds wrestling in the foyer.

Their wrestling match came to an abrupt end when Steve’s asthma got the better of him.

He was playing in the backyard with Steve when he felt eyes on him, Bucky chose to ignore the feeling thinking it was just one of the staff members keeping an eye on the pair.

“Buck get the ball” Steve shouted slightly out of breath.

Nodding he turns to where Steve was pointing, frowning at not being able to see it straight away. “Steve I can’t find it!”

“Do that means I win this round?” Steve shouted back.

“No! Why did you have to kick it so hard?”

“Because I’m the best!”

“No you’re not! I’ve found it!”

Bucky bends down to grab the ball, ball under his arm he stops when he hears someone talking. He knows he shouldn’t go and check it out but he’s never really listened to his father, so he drops the ball again and climbs over the fence that separates the woods from his garden.

“-Miss Ladybug come back”

He watches a girl; a little bit smaller than him with wild bushy hair, the dress she wore was ratty and ripped on the bottom. He notices dirt on her arms and neck and that she wasn’t wearing any shoes.

“-Mr Ant that tickles, what have you been up to today?”

“Ants don’t talk.”

“You scared me!”

He watches her spin around to face him, his eyes widen when he sees the dark bruise around her eye and her bottom lip having dried blood on it.

However even at seven years old he likes the bright colour of her eyes.

“I-I’m sorry. I’m Bucky what’s your name?”

“Y/n, Ducky’s a weird name”

“It’s Bucky not Ducky”

“Can I call you Ducky?”

“Fine. But I get to call you…um Bunny!”

“But my names not Bunny it’s Y/n”

“My names not Ducky but I’m letting you call me that. So Bunny what are you doing?”

The girl waves him over and smiles “Look Miss Ladybug and Mr Ant are friends”

“They can’t be friends”

“Why not?”

“Because it doesn’t make sense, Miss Ladybug should be friends with other ladybugs and not ants.”

“They can be friends.”

“They can’t”

“Yes the can!”

“Whatever. Why don’t you have shoes on?” He asks changing the subject.

“I don’t have any, what are you doing here?”

“Why don’t you have any shoes?”

“My parents are poor.”

“Mine are rich”

“Oh. I guess you live in that house over there?”

“Yeah, where’s your house?”

“On the other side of the woods. It’s super small and poorly”

“How can a house be poorly?”

“I don’t know but that’s what my mama says. Do you want to play fairies with me?”

From where they were stood they called hear Steve calling for Bucky, he watches as her smile fades slowly.

“I’ve can’t, got to go back to my friend. I can see you tomorrow?”

“Okay!” She beams up at him.

“Bye Bunny”

“Bye Ducky”

She watches him as he walks away, her tiny arm still waving side to side long after he climbs over the fence.

“Buck what took you so long?” Steve questions from his place on the ground.

“I-I met someone Stevie” Sitting down next to his friend.

“What do you mean?”

“Her names Y/n-“

“Her? A girl?”

“Yes a girl. She’s pretty Stevie, b-but she had bruises on her face and arms I thought it was mud at first but I got closer-“

“You met a girl that is pretty?”

Rolling his eyes “stop butting in! But yes, real pretty. I like her eyes”

“Bucky loves a girl, Bucky loves a girl-“ Steve sings as he runs around the garden.

“No I don’t!” Bucky shouts as he runs around after the blonde.

The next day Bucky leaves Steve in the living room so he could draw, his asthma had worsen over night so he wasn’t up to playing games.

“Go and see your girlfriend”

“She’s not my girlfriend!”

“But you love her”

“I don’t love her Steve! Stop saying that. I’ll be back soon okay?”

“Okay, have fun”

Climbing over the fence he wasted no time in going to the spot he had saw her the day before, frowning when he couldn’t see her.

“Y/n? Bunny?”

“Up here Ducky”

He looks up and sees her sitting on the branch of the many trees that filled the woods.

“What are you doing up there?”

“Hiding”

“From what?”

“The monsters”

“What monsters?”

“The worst kind of monsters” He’s about to reply when she drops down from where she was perched “they call themselves the tickle monsters!”

She laughs at his deadpanned look. “How old are you Bunny?”

“Six, you?”

“Seven. Can I ask you something?”

“Okay”

“What happened to your face?”

“My father is not nice. He drinks special juice and gets mad”

Bucky stands and watches her twiddle her fingers, feeling bad about asking her that question but he was curious.

“He gets mad and hurts me, I don’t know why but I don’t think he likes me very much. Do you like me?” She continues and asks.

“I like you. You’re my friend Bunny” Smiling when he sees her smile.

“I’ve never had a real friend before. Your my friend Ducky”

“I have another friend his name is Steve, he gets poorly a lot”

“Why?”

“I’m not sure but he’s great” Bucky states as he picks up a twig off the ground.

“Would he be my friend too?” Y/n asks and copies what he did, waving the twig around in the air.

“Maybe”

“I would like that.”

Y/n took him to her favourite spots in the woods, introducing him to the animals she named. He liked it, liked her.

“It’s getting colder” he says as they walk around.

“It is. You should go home, I’ll walk you”

“What about you?”

“I’ll stay out later my mama is at her job and I don’t want to go home just yet”

“What about food? You need to have dinner”

“I’ll eat some berries like always, father doesn’t know how to cook not like my mama”

“You can come with me if you want, my ma wont mind”

“I’m dirty but it’s okay. Will I see you tomorrow Ducky?”

“Your smelly too and yeah I’ll see you tomorrow”

“You’re smelly!” She giggles.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Bunny”

“See you tomorrow Ducky”

The next day after Bucky, Steve and their parents got back from church he ran into the kitchen to ask the cook to make him some sandwiches. Saying his thanks he leaves Steve once again to go and see his Bunny.

“Bunny what happened?” He says as he see her in the same spot they keep meeting in.

One side of her face was swollen with dried blood splatters darted across her face. Her left eye was completely swollen shut and her lip had been split again.

“Ducky you’re here! I’ve been waiting ages”

“I’m here Bunny but what happened?”

“I thought you wasn’t coming”

“Y/n what happened to your face?”

“My father got mad last night when I came home. I like your clothes”

“I had to go church, why was he mad?”

“He ran out of his special juice” she shrugged one shoulder.

“Have you had any food today?”

“Just a few berries. I won’t be able to play today my arm really poorly”

“I brought you some sandwiches the cook made them”

“You can eat them Ducky”

“It’s for you, eat and I’ll take you to my home and have my ma look at your arm”

“I can’t”

“Why not?”

“I’m dirty…I don’t want to get mud in your home, I’ll be okay promise”

“Don’t be silly Bunny, eat”

He watches as she carefully undoes the foil that kept the sandwiches safe, her eyes going up to his he smiles and nods. “We’ll have to take the long way round I don’t think you can climb the fence”

“It will get better just like last time Ducky, I’ll be okay. Thank you for the food”

“My ma can help she’s a nurse”

“I-I…I’ll be fine Ducky I swear it”

Bucky wasn’t having any of it. He was going to drag Bunny home to get his ma’s help whether she liked it or not. He didn’t know why but he felt such an overwhelming urge to protect her, he didn’t want her to have bruises on her pretty face anymore or see her pretty eyes sad.

He’s only known her for a few days and all he wants is for her to be safe.

Bucky watches silently as she devours the ham sandwiches, regret washing over him when he realises he forgot to bring a drink with him for her to have.

“Thank you Ducky, it was very yummy” she says as soon as she swallows the last bit of food.

“It’s okay Bun-“

The rest of his sentence dies on the tip of his tongue, Y/n looks at him with wide eyes, the fear drowns him whole at the monstrous booming voice coming from the other side of the woods.

“Y/n! Get home now you bitch!”

“I-I-I have t-to go. Bye Bucky” she whispers as she stands up on shaky legs.

“Bunny come with me” he whispers back afraid to speak any louder the monster will get him and his Bunny. He leans on his knees to hold her good hand as a way to get her to stay with him and not to go towards the voice that echos over the silent woods.

“I-I can’t-“

“Get back here you fucking cunt!” The voice sounds again, angrier and louder this time.

“Bye Bucky” She pulls her hand away and takes off running towards the monster that awaits her. Bucky can only watch, scared for his friend, his Bunny.

The woods fall silent once again.

On Monday after he was released from Mrs Mars’s clutches he runs into the kitchen to ask the cook if she could make sandwiches once again. Saying his thanks he runs through the doors and into the garden and over the fence.

“Bunny?”

No response.

Looking up in the trees to see if she was hiding again his shoulders sagged in defeat when she wasn’t there.

So he waited. And waited. And waited.

It was getting dark and truth be told he was kind of scared of the tall trees that looked mean and scary in the darkness.

Reluctantly he left, slowly putting one foot in front of the other just to see if she’ll come back to see him, before he knew it he was back at the fence.

Tuesday he did his whole routine and once again asking the cook for sandwiches he takes off to the woods.

“Y/n? Bunny it’s Ducky…”

No response.

This time he ventured further in and went to the places Y/n had shown him, coming up empty he made his way back to the spot. The hope he had disappearing when she wasn’t there waiting for him.

So he waited. And waited. And waited.

Like the day before he took his time in reaching the fence, however moving just as slower in hopes of hearing her voice.

It didn’t happen.

It was Wednesday and like the past two days he repeats his actions. Frustration and sadness are the only emotions he feels when he sees that she’s not there once again.

Bucky repeated his actions for two weeks straight. On the first Friday he had even took Steve over the fence in hopes that if she senses that he brought his friend with him that she’d come back to him. Steve thought he was going crazy, honestly. He generally thought that Bucky had made the whole thing up just to mess with him.

It was Saturday and it had been almost three weeks without seeing her. Bucky thought Steve was right about him making it up, he thought that maybe she was his imaginary friend but she looked, sounded and felt so real.

Bucky promised Steve that this would be the last day that he ventured out into the woods to try and find her. After helping Steve over the fence he climbed over and both made their way to the designated spot.

They’d been out there for a while when Steve spoke up.

“Buck come on she’s not real”

“But she is. I know she is”

“Let’s go please it’s really cold”

He was right, the winter air was getting colder now. Nodding he turns around and helps Steve off the ground, walking back in the direction of his home Steve speaks again.

“What did you say?”

“What?”

“Did you not just say something?”

“No what did you hea-“

In the distance he hears the voice that he had been wanting to hear for three weeks now, the voice belonging to Bunny.

“D-Ducky!”

He spins around and his heart drops. She’s there, getting closer to him and Steve. Her smile takes up most of her face as she limps as fast as she could towards the two boys.

“Bunny!” He says just as he takes off running towards her. His legs pushing him faster than ever before.

Once she was in reach he wasted no time in pulling her into his chest and wrapping his arms around her, just like he seen his father do to his ma.

“Sweet Bunny you’re here” he lightly pants into her bushy hair.

“I’ve missed you Ducky”

“I’ve missed you too Bunny”

Steve stands just off to the side watching the scene in front of him. She’s real and his best friend isn’t crazy he thinks to himself.

Bucky slowly pulls away from her, his smile fading at seeing the damage and pain caused to her face close up. A cough from the side of them have their attention taken away from one another to the blonde standing there.

“Y/n this is Steve my best friend, Steve this is Y/n my Bunny”

“Hi it’s nice to meet you” Steve says waving awkwardly.

“Hi. Will you be my friend too?” Y/n asks shyly, burrowing in closer to Bucky’s embrace.

“Yeah but you have to be mine too”

“Yes!”

Bucky smiles before turning his full attention to Y/n. “Bunny…what happened?”

“I wasn’t allowed to come out. I was naughty”

“D-did your father do this?”

“Yeah. Hey look I lost two teeth” she smiled baring her teeth, and sure enough she was missing her two front ones.

“Where did you lose them?” Bucky chuckles.

“I don’t know” she shrugs with a giggle.

“Bunny I’m going to take you to my ma and she’ll take care of your face”

“It’s fine Ducky I promise”

“Ducky?” Steve questions with a small laugh following.

“His name is Ducky and I’m Bunny” she says proudly.

“That’s cute!”

“Steve. Shut up. Bunny come on”

Both boys have to convince Y/n to follow them and accept help, Bucky notices the limp she has was getting worse as they walked back to the fence and he worries that if they go the long way around she’s going to be in more pain so he tells his two friends that he’s going to help Y/n over the fence first then he’ll help Steve.

Easier said than done.

After struggling to pull himself over the fence for what felt like the hundredth time he gently took Bunny’s hand in his and marched off as if he was on a mission.

“D-Ducky…what if your ma doesn’t want to help and we can’t be friends anymore” She whispers as the trio get closer to the huge house.

“She will help you I promise and we’ll always be friends Bunny don’t worry”

Steve opens the door that leads into the kitchen and holds it open for the two, shutting it behind him he follows closely. Ignoring the muddy footprints that Y/n leaves behind her.

The trio follows the sound of music that comes from the living room, when they reach the room they see Bucky’s parents slow dancing to the hum of the song.

Bucky rolls his eyes.

Steve looks down at his shoes.

Y/n watches with a smile gracing her lips, her eyes following their movements.

“Ma” Bucky says loudly startling the couple.

“Jame-oh my goodness, James who is this and what happened?” Winnie starts before her eyes land on Y/n. Detaching herself from George she moves closer to the girl.

“This is Y/n she needs help Ma”

Winnie lands on her knees with a soft thud in front of Y/n, her hands going slowly and gently to the little girls arms - noticing her hand linked together with her sons. “Hello sweetie, I’m Winnie I’m going to clean your wounds for you okay? Would you like to come with me please?”

“O-okay” she says hesitantly her eyes going from Winnie’s to Bucky’s who nods and smiles at her.

Winnie takes her free hand in hers and waits for Bucky to untangle his fingers from the girl, she leads her upstairs to the bathroom, speaking softly to the girl as they go.

“This will sting sweetie but I’ll be as gentle as I can be, let me know if I’m hurting you okay” she says after she’s sat Y/n on the closed lid of the toilet.

“Okay”

Winnie takes a few wipes from the packet and moves closer to the girl who sits there swinging her legs back and forth. Slowly wiping the ray of cuts that cover the girls face she can’t help but wonder who would hurt such a beautiful creature.

“My son James, he didn’t do this did he?” Hating herself for even asking but she had to be sure.

“No Miss, m-my father is not nice”

“Your father did this?” Halting her movements she watches as the girl nods. “Where’s your mother?”

“Mama goes to her job”

“Where does she work?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t seen her in two weeks, do you know where she is?”

Oh how Winnie’s heart breaks.

“I haven’t sweetie, does your father hurt your mama?”

“Yes. Did you know that Ducky’s my friend”

“Ducky?”

“Bucky”

Winnie chuckles which causes Y/n to giggle “you call him Ducky?”

“Yes and he calls me Bunny. Why did you call him James Miss?”

“Call me Winnie darling and because James is first name, his middle name is Buchanan but Stevie calls him Bucky”

“And I call him Ducky” Y/n giggles loudly.

“You do. Sweetie do you have any more cuts that I need to clean?”

Winnie watches as her face drops and as she scoots further back on the toilet. Clutching her tatty dress a little tighter in her tiny hands.

“I-I can help you Y/n, it’s okay I promise”

“Yo-you won’t be mad?”

“No my love I won’t be mad”

Y/n pushes herself off the seat until she stands up, her eyes finding the tiled flooring more interesting as her hands pull the bottom of her dress further up her thin body.

Winnie had to slap her hand across her mouth as she sees the unmistakable light red lines of scars mapping across the girls’ very thin, bruised thighs.

“Sw-Sweetie, i-is there more?” Her heart cracking as Y/n nods again, pulling her dress further up until Winnie had to help in pulling the whole ratty thing off her.

She fights with herself trying to keep the tears at bay as her eyes dart around from one scar to the next. She fights off the thought of how any of them happened out of her head, she knows if she let that thought in she wouldn’t be able to sleep ever again.

“M-my father gets mad when he runs out of his special juice. It’s my fault because I’m a stupid bitch a-and a worthless cunt” her eyes go to the ceiling as she remembers the words that her father calls her most days.

“No no no my sweetie, you are none of them things you hear me? Y/n you are such a sweet girl, oh come here my sweet baby” Winnie says as she brings the girl into her warm embrace gently wrapping her arms around Y/n’s slim body, pressing light kisses to her forehead. She lets the tears fall freely.

Since Y/n wasn’t so use to feeling of loving hands on her she tenses up. She was confused by Winnie’s words and affection all she wanted was her Ducky.

After a while Winnie pulls away, wiping her tears with the backs of her hands she stands up on shaky legs. “I’m going to run you a nice hot bath, it will help. I promise” she turns to where the bathtub sat when she felt small hands tug lightly on her dress. Looking down she sees Y/n standing looking scared.

“It’s okay, here take my hand”

Filling the bathtub full of water she lets Y/n pull her underwear down and Winnie helps her into the tub.

“I’m just going to ask George to get some clothes for you and I’ll help you wash your hair okay? I’ll be right back I promise”

“O-okay”

“Bucky who’s that girl?”

“Y/n” he says as he watches his ma and Bunny go upstairs, he starts to follow when his fathers hand stops him.

“I know but who is she? Where did you find her?”

“In the woods-“

“You’re not suppose to go out there!” George scolds.

“I know! But I did and she’s my friend now”

Bucky really doesn’t understand what the big deal is, okay so he disobeyed his fathers order of not going over the fence but if he didn’t he wouldn’t have met Y/n.

George sighs and crouches down to his sons level “son what would have happened if you fell or hurt yourself and me and your mother couldn’t get to you huh? Listen son I’m not that mad at you okay, I just worry”

“I-I’m sorry dad”

“It’s okay. Do you know who’s hurt her?”

“Her father” he spits out in disgust “he drinks special juice and he hurts my Bunny!”

George is puzzled by what this special juice could of been before it clicks, sighing at the memories of him calling the alcohol that his father use to drink when he was younger comes up after so many years of repressing the memories.

“Oh son-“

“It’s not fair dad, why does he do it? She’s amazing and pretty and funny and weird and she’s my friend and sh-she’s my Bunny-“

“James breath! Come on son breathe with me a-and Steve, watch what we’re doing. There you go, oh come here sweet boy” George says seeing the tears fall from his sons eyes, pulling him into his arms he lets his son cry.

He hears sniffles coming from the side of him and he sees Steve crying too so he wastes no time in opening his arms for his unofficial adopted son for him to run into the hug too.

They stay in the hug before Bucky pulls away first, wiping his tears “dad can we go up and wait for ma to finish? I-I want to be with Bunny p-please”

“Of course, come on” he holds his hands out for his sons to place theirs in his before moving towards and up the stairs.

George and Steve sit down on the wooden floor as they watch Bucky pace back and forth, his eyes going from the bathroom door to the floor and back again.

“Dad what’s taking so long?”

“I’m not sure son, it’s okay though your mother knows what she’s doing don’t worry”

“It’s been so long though”

“Bucky come and sit down and tell me why you call her Bunny, ay?”

“She calls him Ducky, George” Steve giggles and George has to stifle his laugh as Bucky glares at Steve.

“Ducky, um strange. So Bunny?”

Bucky rolls his eyes and sits down next to his father “she calls me Ducky because she said Bucky was a strange name, I call her Bunny because she’s cute…like a bunny.” He shrugs, lightly tapping his knees with his fingers.

“I think Bucky loves Bunny” Steve tries and fails to whisper to George.

“I don’t love her Steven!”

“You sure James?”

“I. Do. No. Love. Her!” Bucky growls.

“Boys calm down, Steve stop winding Bucky up about him loving Bunny and Bucky just admit you love her” George laughs which gets slightly louder as Bucky starts hitting him.

“I do not! That’s gross! Girls are gross”

“Girls aren’t gross James”

“Yes they are. Bunny’s yucky”

Steve and George share a look full of mischief just as they start chanting “Bucky loves Bunny”.

“I hate you both!” Bucky says standing up to begin his pacing again.

“Buck we’re only messing with you” George starts “your right girls are gross and yucky”

“Dad can I ask you something?”

“Of course you can”

“Can Bunny live with us? I’ll be extra good and I won’t ask for anything for my birthday or for Christmas I promise”

“I-I’m not sure son-“

“Why not? Please dad-“

“Because she has parents Bucky-“

“Her dad hurts her!”

“She has a mother?”

“Yeah but-“

“Bucky-“

“I’ll run away and I’ll take Bunny with me.”

Sighing whilst sliding his hands down his face George is about to reply when the bathroom door opens, Winnie waving him over.

“Is Bunny okay ma?”

“She is darling I just need to talk to your father for a second”

“Can I see her?”

“Not yet, she’s in the bath. George can you go and get some clothes from James’s room please”

“Of course my love”

Bucky and Steve watches as George heads down the corridor and slipping into Bucky’s bedroom, not long after he comes back with a red checkered pants and a woolly sweater and some socks.

“Will this be okay?”

“Yes, thank you. How about you take the boys downstairs and start doing dinner? Make enough so that Y/n can join us” Winnie smiles trying not to look George in his eyes knowing that he’ll know that she’s been crying and she really didn’t want the boys knowing that their friend is covered in scars.

“Come boys you can help me, you have to make sure I don’t burn the house down”

Bucky waits until Steve and his dad is a little further down the hallway, turning to his mom he cocks his head to the side. “Ma…is she really okay?”

“She will be James, you should be proud of yourself for bringing her home to get help”

“Yeah…Ma I already asked dad but can Y/n live with us? I’ll be extra good I swear!”

“We-I-Bucky please go downstairs and help your father and Stevie with dinner”

Huffing loudly he nods and heads to the kitchen.

Winnies heart breaks as the hope vanishing from her sons eyes at the prospect of Y/n living with them. She couldn’t lie that the thought of having her in their home where she was safe and protected hadn’t crossed her mind, sadly she knew she just couldn’t kidnap the child no matter how bad her home life was.

“These belong to James but you can wear them, let’s get you cleaned up before we have some dinner”

After carefully cleaning Y/n’s body with the sponge and lavender body wash Winnie took her time in washing the girls hair, slowly untangling the knots apologising every time she snagged a rough one.

Once cleaned, dried and wearing warm clothes Winnie started on brushing Y/n’s hair, taking her time once again as the girls hair was curly and bushier than before.

“All done my sweetie. Let’s go and get some food in our tummies, yeah?”

“A-are you sure Miss?”

“Of course, you must be hungry”

Y/n nods and holds out her hand for Winnie to take, the woman does so with a smile on her lips and leads them downstairs to the kitchen. Steve was the first one to notice Winnie and Y/n standing at the archway he had to blink a few times to make sure it was really his new friend standing there.

“Buck” Steve whispers towards Bucky.

“What?” He whispers back.

“Look”

“Wha-Bunny!” Bucky noticing the blonde staring off so his bright blue eyes followed, landing on Y/n. Dropping the cutlery on the side he rushes over instantly pulling her in for a hug. “You smell nice an-and your hair isn’t wild no more”

“I had a bath Ducky!” She beams proudly, hugging him just as tight as he was.

Winnie’s eyes found George’s smiling sadly at her husband as she moves closer to him.

Steve stands there for a few minutes before slowly moving towards his friends and wrapping his arms around the pair.

“It’s called spaghetti and it’s nice” Bucky says showing Y/n how to twirl her fork around the food, after he had to stop her from picking up the food with her hands.

“It looks like wormies” she giggles.

“It’s nicer then worms Bunny”

She soon gets the hang of twirling the spaghetti around the fork and everyone’s taken back by the fact she’s the first one to eat every last bit of the home cooked meal.

“Would you like seconds Y/n? There’s plenty more left” George says already standing up to place more on her plate.

“Seconds?” She asks.

“It means you can have more Bunny” Bucky informs her.

“I-I-am I allowed Ducky?”

“Yeah, do you want so more?”

“Yes. It’s very yummy”

George piles more food on her plate, feeling rather proud of himself that someone likes his cooking - at the weekends the staff have the two days off and normally Winnie takes over cooking, on the rare occasions that George cooks everybody complains about it being burnt or undercooked.

“Thank you Mr” Y/n whispers before digging in again.

Her plate is once again empty before anyone else’s.

Y/n sits patiently waiting for Bucky to finish, her eyes fluttering around the room looking from one thing to the next when her eyes dart straight to Winnie who’s sitting there chuckling, Y/n has no idea what is funny but she starts to giggle too smiling widely at the woman.

“Darling what’s so funny?” George asks from his seat at the end of the table.

“Sweetie look at James for me” Winnie tells Y/n so she does. Bucky bursts out laughing when his Bunny looks at him with spaghetti sauce covering her lower face…and somehow a bit on her eyebrow.

“Bunny you’re messy again” Bucky laughs, taking his napkin and lightly and as gently as he could he starts rubbing the sauce off her face.

“Sorry”

“It’s okay Bun, all…clean”

“It just means that you enjoyed your dinner” George tells her.

“It was yummy. Thank you Mr Ducky’s dad”

“You can call me George sweetheart”

After dinner was done, they move into the living room, Bucky helps Y/n onto the couch and he sits next to her. Steve sitting on the other side of Y/n.

“Ma, dad can Y/n live with us now?”

“James I’ve told you it’s not that simple son” George starts before looking over at Winnie silently begging her to help him out.

“Your fathers right darling, she has a mama who is probably worried about her”

“But-“

“No buts James-“

“Please Ma”

“It’s okay Ducky, my father has gone away until Wednesday I’ll be okay and I’ll get to see you tomorrow and the next day”

“Sweetie…what do you mean? Where’s he gone?” Winnie asks.

“He said he had to go to Mexico for work, do you know where Mexico is? It’s super far away!”

“And where’s your mama?”

“I’m not sure I’ve not seen her in two weeks Miss Winnie doesn’t know where she is, do you know?”

“N-no I don’t sweetheart. Is there anyone at your house?”

“No”

“Who would be looking after you whilst your father is away?” Winnie then asks.

“No one, I have to go to my spot in the woods like before”

Winnie looks at George in what can be described as horror. George looks at Bucky who just shrugs.

“The spot you took me to Bunny?”

“Yeah…do I go now Ducky?”

“No!” Winnie and George shouts causing the three children to jump further backwards in their seats.

“No, we meant you can stay with us until Wednesday w-when your father gets back” Winnie says quietly.

“Yes!” Bucky cheers pulling Y/n under his arm “it’s going to be so much fun Bunny!”

Y/n giggles and nods.

Winnie tucks Y/n into bed in one of the spare rooms, she sits on the bed looking at the little girl as she brushes her hair out of her face.

“Are you okay sweetie?”

“Yeah, thank you Miss Winnie”

“You don’t need to thank me darling, would you like me to leave the light on for you?”

“No it’s okay”

“Okay, I’ll leave the door cracked open a little bit for you, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Night night my sweet girl, I’ll see you tomorrow” she bends down and places a kiss to the girls forehead. Winnie freezes by the door staring into the darkness as she hears-

“Night night mama”

She meets George in the living room where she breaks down crying, telling him what she had saw on the tiny body belonging to Bucky’s friend, her husband holds her and cries himself.

A few glasses of wine later they head to bed themselves, Winnie stopping as she sees Y/n’s door fully shut, opening the wooden door she smiles at seeing her son in bed with Y/n, holding her tightly in his arms.

George comes up behind her, placing his hands on her hips and smiles. Whispering to her that they should go to bed, Winnie closes the door quietly.

“Night night my sweet Bunny” Bucky whispers into the darkness, kissing her forehead lightly, he heads off to dreamland.

Next>

Tags: @cjand10 @unaxv @mcira @bisexualnikkisixx

[reedsllve]

Sindarin words for fanfic writers

I used parf edhellen and a few other websites all listed at the bottom!

Includes: greetings & goodbyes/ questions/ commands/ terms of endermeant/ compliments/ insults/ family titles/ clothing/ body parts/ years & months/ numbers

Greetings/ goodbyes

Well met - Mae Govannan

Greetings - suilaid

My heart sings to see you. - Guren linna chen cened.

My pleasure to meet you. - Glassen na chen govaded.

Hail - Ai

Welcome - Nathla/Nathlo

A star shines upon/on the hour of our meeting - Êl síla erin lû e-govaned vîn

You are welcome here - Gi nathlam hí

Farewell. - Navaer.

I hope you have a good journey. - Harthon gerich lend vaer.

I hope useful winds will speed you on. – Harthon huil vaer chen horthatha.

Fair winds! - Suil vain!

I hope you will have kind seas. - Harthon gerithach aeair vilui.

I hope you will have a good hunt. - Harthon gerich rui vaer.

I hope the leaves of your tree of life will not wither. - Harthon i laiss en-Galadh e-Guil chîn ú-belithar.

I hope you will have green paths and a breeze behind your body. - Harthon gerithach raid gelin ar chwest adel thraw chîn.

I hope you will have paths green and golden. - Harthon gerithach raid gelin ar velthin.

Nothing will stop the weeping of my heart until our reunion. - Unad nuithatha i nîr e-guren nalú aderthad vîn.

I hope you will have sweet waters and joyous laughter until our next meeting. - Harthon gerithach nîn velui ar lalaith veren na-lû govaded vîn.

I hope you will have sweet dreams tonight. - Harthon gerithach elei velui nef fuin hen.

I hope to see you there. - Ennas harthon chen cened.

I hope to see you at this time. - Harthon chen cened na lû hen.

Questions

Do you speak elvish? - Pedig/Pedil edhellen?

Where are we? - Mi van me?

What are you doing? - Man ceril?

What did you do? - Man agorel?

When? - Na van?

Which one? - Man pen?

With what? - A van?

Who is leading? - Man tôg

Why? - Am man?

Why? (For what purpose?) - Am man theled?

Why not? - Avo garo am man theled?

Commands

Be gone - Ego

Run - nor-

Halt - Daro

Let’s go - Gwaem

Come near the fire - Tolo anin naur

Come with me - Tolo ar nin

Come, join us - Tolo, govano ven

Release me - Leithio nin

Save me - Edraith enni

Don’t be afraid - Av-'osto

Terms of endermeant

My sweet heart - Guren vell

My love - Meleth nîn, mil nîn, melethen, or milen.

My friend - Mellon nîn or Mellonen

My friends - Mellyn nîn or Mellynen

My Lord - Brannon nîn or Brannonen

My Lady - Brennil nîn or Brennilen

Foe of my foe - Coth o chothen

Friend of my friend - Mellon o mellonen

Little father (dwarf) - Adar dithen

Bearded one (dwarf) - masc. Fangon fem. Fangil

Mighty one - masc. Belegon fem. Belegil

Valiant one - masc. Gornon fem. Gornil

Ancient one - masc. Iauron fem. Iauril

Wise one - masc. Saelon fem. Saelil

Loyal one - masc. Sadron fem. Sadril

My champion - masc. Thalion nîn or Thalionen fem. Thaliel nîn or Thalielen

My beloved - masc. Melethron nîn or Melethronen fem. Melethril nîn or Melethrilen

Love of my life - Meleth e-Guilen

Lovely one - masc. Miluir fem. Miluis

Compliments (literal translations)

It is my joy to see you. - Glassen na chen cenin.

You did well. - Mae carnen

You have a heart like a lion. - Gerich ‘ûr sui raw.

You are a mighty and brave warrior. - Ech maethor veleg ar gornen. (Gornen constructed from the noun gorn “valour”)

You are an archer skilled and sharp-eyed. - Ech pengor vaen ar maecheneb. (Pengor in feminine form is Pengel)

You are as beautiful as a rainbow. - Ech vain sui ninniach.

Your radiance shines like the moon. - ‘Law chîn síla sui Ithil.

Your love glitters in your eyes. - Veleth chîn thilia mi chinech.

Your radiant eyes conquered my heart. - Chin gelair chîn orthernir guren.

Your beauty took my breath away. - Thîr vain chîn darn thulen.

Insults

Your head is empty. - Dhôl chîn nâ cofn or Dhôl chîn nâ lost.

Cowardly dog! - Hû ú-gaun!

Go kiss an orc! - Mítho orch!

I hate you! - Chen ú-vilin!

Listen to my laughter! - Lasto al lalaith nîn!

Much wind pours from your mouth. - Súlon 'wanna nîf chîn.

Son of snakes! - Lýgion!

You disgust me! - Chen fuion!

You’re ugly and your mother dresses you. - Thiach uanui ar naneth chîn chen hamma.

You are stupid. - Ech uchand.

Orc lover! - Orvelethron! Or feminine orvelethril!

You are hideous! - Thiach uanui!

Family titles

Father - Adar

Mother - Naneth/Emel

Parent - odhril

Sister - Nîth/ Neth/ Nethel

Sister in law - bethres

Brother - Hanar

Brother in law - bethren

Sibling - hest

Half-brother - perhanar

Half-sister - pernîth/ perneth/ pernethel

Half-sibling - perhest

Pair of twins - Gwanûn

Grandmother - mam

Grandfather - dâd

Kin - rennas

Kinsman - gwanur

Family - nothlir/ nothrim/ nos

Clothing (I couldn’t find much for these)

Jewel - mîr

Jewellery - mîrith

Ring - corf

Necklace - sigil

Ringlet - laus/ loch

Crown - rî

To crown/ coronate - rìnada

Boot - saeb

Shoe - habad

Clothes - hammad

Body parts (also couldn’t find much for these)

Hair - findë

Face - thîr

Eyes - hen

Lips - pemp

Nose - nem

Body- Rhond

Years/Months/days

The month of January - Narwain

The month of February - nínui

The month of March - gwaeron

The month of April - gwirith

The month of may - lothron

The month of June - nórui

The month of July - cerveth

The month of august - urui

The month of September - ivanneth

The month of October - narbeleth

The month of November - hithui

The month of December - girithron

First age - mein andrann

Second age - edwen andrann

Third age - nail/nelui/neil andrann

Monday - orithil

Tuesday - orgaladh/orgaladhad

Wednesday - ormenel

Thursday - oraeron

Friday - orbelain

Saturday - orgilion

Sunday - oranor

Numbers

“There were two different number systems in use in Middle Earth; the duodecimal system (base 12) and the decimal system that we use today. Interestingly Tolkien tells us that although "in Common Eldarin the multiples of three, especially six and twelve, were considered especially important" the decimal system developed first - "and eventually beside the decimal numeration a complete duodecimal system was devised for calculations".

Although he goes on to say that "the special words for 12 (dozen), 18 and 144 (gross) were in general use" we don't have any record of what that special number for 18 might have been in any language. Tolkien further noted that "for general purposes the numeral names were decimal in origin". This is why the numbers for 20, 30 and so on mean 'two tens', 'three tens'.”

The numbers 13-19 are reconstructed from Quenya.

1 - min

2 - tâd

3 - neledh

4 - canad

5 - leben

6 - eneg

7 - odo/odog

8 - tolodh/toloth

9 - neder

10 - cae/caen/pae-

11 - Minib

12 - Ýneg

13 - Neleb

14 - Canab

15 - Leben

16 - Eneph

17 - Odoph

18 - Toloph

19 - Nederph

These then, are the deduced numbers 20 - 90 using Tolkien's later material. I suggest that these are for Sindarin as spoken by the Elves, and the original forms as written in the King's Letter are Gondorian Sindarin

20 - Taphaen

30 - Nelphaen

40 - Cambaen

50 - Lephaen

60 - Enephaen

70 - Odophaen

80 - Tolophaen

90 - Nederphaen

100 - Haran

Numbers like 33, 67, 82 etc. can be formed like this Nelphaen a neledh = Thirty and three (33) or Neledh a nelphaen = Three and thirty

Enephaen a odog = Sixty and seven (67) or Odog a enephaen = Seven and sixty

Tolophaen a dâd = Eighty and two (82) or Tâd a dolophaen = Two and eighty

For any number after 12 you just need to put -ui on the end to form the ordinal, e.g. nederphaenui = 90th

1st - Minui

2nd - Tadui

3rd - Nelui

4th - Canthui

5th- Lefnui

6th - Enchui

7th - Othui

8th - Tollui

9th - Nedrui

10th - Paenui

11th - Minibui

12th - Ýnegui

[hbyrde36]

STWG Daily Prompt 3/9/24

Written for the @strangerthingswritersguild

Prompt: Bite

Rating: G | WC: 867

Emotional hurt/comfort, Steve Harrington's parents being the worst, the best uncle Wayne Munson, supportive boyfriend Eddie Munson, the party loves Steve Harrington

Steve had given up on his dad long ago, he was never going to be the kind of man Richard Harrington had always wanted his sons to grow up and be, but he’d held out hope for his mom—hope that someday she would learn to love him the way she loved his brother.

More than ten years between them, and the fact that the Harrington’s had moved to Hawkins only after Christopher had graduated high school and gone off to college, meant no one really knew Steve had a sibling. 

The party, Robin, Eddie—especially Eddie because how could they have been dating for over a year now and him somehow still not know about this—were all stunned to learn of the existence of another young Harrington.

He hadn’t meant to tell them at all, but then Christopher and their parents made a surprise visit home so that his brother could take possession of their grandmother’s ring and pop the question to his girlfriend of a whopping 9 months. Less time than he and Eddie had been seeing each other and didn’t that get under Steve's skin to know he’d never get to propose to his boyfriend with a family heirloom, not only because gay marriage wasn’t legal, but because his parents would never dream of handing down a piece of jewelry to their least favorite son.  

Steve wound up having to make the rounds, letting everyone know movie night was canceled because his brother was in town. Naturally they all wanted explanations for why this was the first they were learning of this mysterious person, and by the time he got to Eddie’s place, Steve was a mess. 

Years of mistreatment and neglect bubbled to the surface, and not just the big things but the little sniping comments, the small injustices—inequities between the way Mr. and Mrs. Harrington spoke of their older son vs their younger—hurt feelings that he’d pushed all the way down in order to function, in order to put a fucking smile on his face and hide the fact that he was damaged goods who not even a mother could love. 

It all came spilling out of him on Eddie’s bedroom floor as his boyfriend held him, rocked him, was his rock, tethering him to the earth.

When it was all over and Steve was calm, Eddie asked him why he still spoke to them, why he still lived in their house when he and Wayne had both–on separate occasions–invited him to live with them instead.

“They’re my family.” Steve said, shrugging. “I don’t have a choice.” 

“Of course you do, Stevie. You always have a choice. If you were to decide right here and now that you never wanted to see or speak to them again, you are allowed to do that. You hold all the power here. I’ll support you in whatever you decide, but I have to say in my humble opinion, they never deserved you.”

Steve took the night to think about it, though in the instant Eddie had said the words, given Steve the power to take control of his own life, he’d known what he was going to do. It was his life, he could do with it as he wished. He was already doing that with almost every other part of it, so why was he still letting his mom and dad hold any power over him? Why did he subject himself to their passive aggressive comments and disappointed glares?

In the end he never went back, not even to get his stuff. Wayne and Eddie did it for him, leaving behind his keys and his beloved car. 

A small price to pay for freedom. 

He called the next day and left a final message on the answering machine. 

“Please leave your message after the beep.”

“Hey mom. You’re the hardest one to say goodbye to, the last member of this family I held out hope for so you’ll have to forgive me for not doing this in person. My car keys are on the table by the front door. I know the BMW is in dad’s name and I know he wouldn’t want me keeping it under the circumstances.”

“I am no longer a Harrington. I’m sure you won’t mind because you barely thought of me as one to begin with but it’s official now. I’m moving on, and moving in with my boyfriend. Yes, boyfriend, because I am nothing if not a consistent disappointment.”

“It took me longer to see it with you because I've witnessed the way you care for the people around you, most of them anyway, and what you’ve done for this community.”

“You are a good person, except when you’re not. And you were a great mom, just not to me.”

There was no bite in his words, just a sad truth finally spoken aloud.

Steve hung up the phone feeling lighter than he ever had in his whole life, and sat down to dinner with the people who really loved him. His found family, who’d all dropped whatever they were doing at a moments notice to throw him an impromptu moving-in party at his new home with Eddie and Wayne. 

Thanks to my beloved @penny00dreadful for having a look over this 🥰

[papergirllife]

Lee Jeno (M)

fratboy!Jeno x reader

Synopsis:

Jeno has a past that holds him back from what life could potentially offer him, and one of those, he thinks, is you.

WARNINGS UNDER THE CUT, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED, FEEL FREE TO BLOCK ME IF YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE

warnings: minor character death (in the past), themes of grief and moving on, tooth-rotting fluff, Jeno being down bad but he was sort of an ass for a bit, crying during sx, sp@nking, mc's a masoch1st (kinda), body worship, unprotected sx, 0verstimulation, oral sx.

The music resonates the walls of the dingy frat house as Jeno makes his way through hordes of people on the dance floor, trying his best to squeeze through drunk college students to get to the kitchen, he's too goddamn sober to handle this amount of people as a self proclaimed, he checked his MBTI, obviously, introvert.

“Jeno! Finally made your way down from your room! Finally done studying?” Chenle asks on the top of his voice, clearly a little more than just tipsy, seeing how Jisung's the one making drinks right now, which the latter offers, but Jeno declines, he wants some alcohol to get him going, not blackout drunk, he still needs to get to his quiz in the afternoon tomorrow.

“I don't have much choice, not even the earplugs work against Johnny hyung’s speakers,” Jeno says with a sigh, looking out at the living area, this is going to be a long night, he thinks to himself.

“I told you to get the ones from that brand, they're only slightly pricier, you know,” Chenle chides, the irony, coming from the international student, but he knows his friend means well.

“They're out of my budget, it's fine, I started earlier just to get it done before this party anyways, I'll see you guys later, if you're not passed out by the pool that is,” Jeno jokes as he pours himself a mixture of whiskey and coke.

“Very funny, Lee, even if Mark leaves me out there in the cold, I know Jisung would save me, right bro?!”

Jeno doesn't hear what Jisung has to say, merely chuckling to himself as he makes his way through the crowd once more.

The worn out couch sinks as Jeno takes his seat, he watches as Jaemin talks about something animatedly with bombastic gestures and his tone pitched higher, he's going to be the perfect kindergarten teacher after he graduates being an education major and all, then there's Shotaro, watching wide eyed, engrossed in whatever tale Jaemin is telling, he's going to miss this, Jeno notes to himself, sighing at the fact that his sophomore year has begun and in a year's time he's going to say goodbye to all of this.

“Renjun said you'd be studying, didn't expect to see you tonight,” you say as you take the empty spot next to Jeno, Renjun on your side, you've always been his beloved little sister, Renjun is tiny, but for you? He'd pack a punch any time, his last victim was a 6 feet guy who was too handsy for his liking and dude ended up with a broken nose, he broke a finger too, but no one mentions that unless they want to end up in the same fatal tragedy.

“Finished studying, so I thought I'd come down here and join the rest of you,” and maybe because he wanted to see you too, not that he'd ever admit that, to himself or others, he has no right to delve into these emotions, it wouldn't be fair to you or her.

“Wow Jeno, no need to brag about your smarts like that, all of us know you're the top of the department,” you joke with a nudge of your shoulder, and with that slight movement, your thin cardigan slips down your smooth shoulder, revealing the strap of your tank top.

“Says the one that doesn't need to study and still passes,” Jeno retorts as he lets his eyes linger for a bit, before he decides to finally scoop up the collar section of your cardigan, covering your shoulder once again, and from the corner of his eye, he sees Renjun watching him.

“That's because I only aim to pass, unlike mister high achiever here, and I'm not cold, don't worry,” you say, but regardless, your body naturally inches closer to his, his warmth seeping through his bomber jacket has you hooked.

“Enough about me, what about you? What type of content are you shooting next?” Jeno asks, you're an almost full time influencer, the only reason you're still in college is because you want to get the degree as plan b, and Jeno, one of the few with a car, secondhand from his sister, always offers to drive you and sits through shootings with you, whether it be a trip to Olive Young or the newest cafe on the block.

“Probably gonna try doing those ‘a day in my life as a college student’ vlogs cuz some of my followers have been asking, but I'm not sure, it's a lot of work to film, might just end up going through my PR boxes instead or a review of this lip balm I've been looking for an excuse of getting,” you joke, knowing you, Jeno knows you're gonna get it and review it regardless, unless it's sold out, then he'd be one of the firsts to hear about your complaints.

“I could hold the camera if you want to,” Jeno offers, he always does, and you knew he would, it's why you asked in the first place.

“Thank you, my sweet assistant, knew I could always count on you,” you say before booping Jeno’s scrunched up nose, he always does that when you call him that, very textbook Taurus of him.

“Hey Jeno! Wanna play beer pong with us?” a girl comes up to him over the back of the sofa, tapping on his shoulder, probably his coursemate or something.

“Sure, I'll see you around, let me know when you wanna film, I'll see when I'm free,” Jeno says before giving you a little wave, following the girl to the beer pong area, and everyone knows she's going to end up inviting her to his bed, whether you like it or not.

“Since I'm not drinking tonight and I'm not a smoker, I'm craving Shin noodles, anyone want some?” you ask as you smooth down your skirt, you're gonna borrow your brother's apron, god knows you're one clumsy bitch and you love this mini skirt you searched high and low for, the things you do for a shushu tong dupe.

“Did someone say Shin noodles? I'm down,” is the first thing Mark says when he finally joins your friends’ little section, sex hair and a rumpled shirt triggering a few snickers.

“Sure, Markie, you should probably tidy your hair though,” you say before ruffling it up further, quickly making your way to the kitchen after, distantly, you hear Jaemin’s laughter ringing out even with the loud music playing still.

When you’re cooking the noodles, someone walks in, out of the corner of your eye, you see a familiar mane of orange hair.

“Hi Yang Yang, want noodles?” you could probably look for another pot if he wants some, you're sure Renjun stocked up some extra pots here, and even if he didn't, you're sure Taeyong did.

“I'd be down for your noods, if you know what I mean,” he answers coyly, his hand resting at your waist as he attaches himself to your side, watching you separate the noodles to cook them faster.

“Very funny, I'm on day 6 still, so thanks but no thanks, bud,” you reply, patting him on the hand at your side before you turn off the heat.

“Damn, talk about bad timing, no wonder you're craving for noodles, I'll just have a bit of yours, who's sharing with us? I'll go out and call them in, you can take the bowls out and stuff ” Yang Yang offers.

“Mark, he's at the sitting area,” you say before you feel Yang Yang leave your side, you carefully move the pot before fetching the bowls and utensils, grabbing the big thongs and ladle, you quickly get yourself a small portion, almost moaning at the familiar spiciness that ignites your taste buds in the best way possible.

“Wow, thanks bro,” Mark says, eyes lighting up at the sight of food, quickly fetching his own portion.

The two boys start talking about the latest NBA match while you eat in peace, you love eating while chatting up with friends, but you cherish having one on one moments savouring the food you're eating, Jeno calls you weird for that, but maybe that's because he keeps having that dry chicken breast for meals.

“Oh, if you guys want to fuck, you need to hurry up cuz Renjun just left with this girl not too long ago, and you know how he is,” Mark informs,

Renjun’s very particular about sleeping conditions with his one night stands, one time he was willing to pay extra for hailing a cab at 2am because he was sick of the artificial vanilla scent of this girl's diffuser.

“Not tonight, crimson rain's still in season,” you joke before getting more noodles into your bowl, meanwhile Yang Yang's stopped eating, he was just craving for a little taste.

“Oop, that explains the noodles, too bad for you dude, maybe Yuta hyung would have more luck,” Mark jokes, he always liked joking about how you got a roster of boys lining up at your doorstep, when in reality you're always bouncing between Yuta and Yang Yang.

“He got her last time, I gotta make my move faster this time,” Yang Yang says with a groan, putting down his chopsticks, having had enough of his fill.

“l'll let you know when I'm done, how about that, you whiny baby,” you tease, pulling his ear playfully.

Yang Yang cheers from his seat before getting up to wash his bowl.

“See you when the sky's sunny, baby, and Mark, basketball tomorrow afternoon, right?” Yang Yang bids the two of you goodbye, probably off to find another girl or game with Hendery.

“He's not bad, you know, simple minded dude,” Mark suddenly suggests, scooping more noodles then soup into your bowl before you put your hand up to stop him, that's enough noodles for tonight.

“He's alright, but I'm not looking for a relationship right now,” both of you know you're lying through your teeth, but it's the answer that won't stir anything up, you enjoy the dynamic you share with the boys, you're not gonna risk it, not that your feelings would ever be reciprocated.

“What about Yuta then? Is he more your type than Yang Yang?” Mark asks, always looking out for your heart, more than you ever did for yourself at least, which is almost the same for all your friends.

“Maybe, but no, he's not looking for a relationship either,” you explain, this time, not a white lie.

“Yuta thinks you're cool, I'm sure he'd be down to try if you showed interest,” Mark tries his best to convince you.

“I don't think I can watch idly if he looks at a girl with some neon-coloured box dye hair a little longer, I'd be seething, I need someone who's 100% down bad,” you say, trying to deflect the topic at hand.

“Alright, alright, I'll let you be, I'll get back to you when I think of someone new,” Mark says, not giving up on playing matchmaker.

“Have fun playing cupid with that terrible aim, Markie,” you tease before saying goodnight to him, planning on spending the rest of the night alone rewatching this k drama you love.

You were about to text Yeri, your roommate and bestie who had came with you, but upon opening your chat room with her, you realise she has once again ditched you for a boy she found. Oh well, guess you're just gonna crash in your brother's room, Renjun’s room is slightly bigger than most of the rooms in the house because you had once stayed here for a brief period of time when you were in between rentals, so there's space to fit in one more super single in his room, albeit a slightly tight fit, but at least you get to steal your brother's skincare for the night.

On your way to Renjun’s room, you bumped into Yang Yang once more in the hallway.

“Hey! Wanna game with us for a bit? It's just me and Hendery, we're playing COD,” he offers with that bright smile of his which strangely enough, reminds you of Lightning Mcqueen from the Cars cartoon.

“I don't know, Yang, I kinda suck at it,” you would love to have a switch from mobile to Xbox, but not at the expense of potentially ruining someone's game night.

“Come on, we're chill, Hendery dies all the time anyways,” Yang Yang insists, a hand on your back, steering you to his shared room, “but don't tell Hendery I said that,” he whispers by your ear before Hendery turns around to greet you.

“Yo! Nice of you to join us, Ten ditched us for the night so it's nice to have three players again,” Hendery exclaims, enthusiastically passing you the remote.

“Why aren't you guys partying like the rest of the frat?” you ask while picking a character.

“Parties are here every week, this one's kinda boring so might as well game the night away,” Hendery explains before noting how you're an urban tracker girlie.

And after two matches with the boys, you have to agree with the sentiment.

Jeno throws on a simple sweater before leaving his room to go get some water for himself and the girl on his bed, but something catches his eye from the other end of the hallway, it's you and Yang Yang, cosying up outside his room, Jeno’s fist clenched up when he sees you following into his room, he knows you sleep around casually, but he rarely ever catches sight of it, and it leaves a bitter taste on his tongue.

The party is finally starting to phase out, most of the partygoers are either passed out on the couch, or the unfortunate ones, by the pool or at the lawn. The frat members themselves are mostly gone, either retreated into their own respective rooms or have gone back with someone, so Jeno hadn't expected himself to bump into anyone when he came in to fetch two bottles of water.

“Why do you look like you want to squeeze the life out of those bottles, dude? Was tonight's lay not good enough for you or something?” Haechan asks, car keys dangling from his hand, he must've come in through the backdoor instead of the front, he once had someone puke on his Nike shoes so he isn't taking any chances anymore.

“Nothing, go to sleep,” Jeno deflects, god knows he doesn't need Haechan nosing into his business, which he has a reputation of doing so.

“When you're this pissed off it's usually either you fucked up a test or… is it her?” Haechan didn't even need to emphasise on who's the her when Jeno threatens to throw his half full bottle at him before he was stopped by Jaemin who had come in to dispose of some of the trash he had cleaned up from the living area.

“Jaemin ah, Jeno’s bullying me again!” Haechan whines moving to hide behind Jaemin’s wide frame.

“Stop provoking him and you'd be fine, now go, you're lucky I'm here to take the trash out,” Jaemin says before he ushers his bratty friend out of their kitchen.

“As much as you don't want to hear this, Haechan does have a point,” Jaemin says as he sorts the trash into different recycle bins, “she's not going to be single forever, and I know you love Eunbi, but it's been years, she wouldn't want to see you like this,” Jaemin explains with his most motherly tone that he dishes out unconsciously at times.

Eunbi was Jaemin’s cousin sister and Jeno’s girlfriend from 15 to 17, she passed away suddenly due to a drunk driving accident, and from that day onwards, Jeno has never really been the same again, he swore off the possibility of loving someone again, until you came into his life, his restraint wavering bit by bit as you take up his heart, piece by piece.

Jeno’s hand rises to his chest to feel the familiar butterfly charm hanging on his necklace, Nabi, he used to call her, because she used to love butterflies and also because they rhyme with her name, this necklace is Jeno’s only significant remembrance of her, other than their shared memories.

“I don't have any feelings for anyone, so it doesn't matter,” Jeno brushes off the topic with ease, he's had a lot of practice, and quickly leaves the kitchen.

With a defeated sigh, Jaemin watches his best friend go, hoping that one day soon, he'd be able to finally move on from Eunbi.

Another week passes and the weekend rolls around quicker than expected, Yuta was in the kitchen pouring himself a drink, spiked punch of some sort that Taeyong whipped up, some people got too drunk for his liking last week, so now he’s doing it himself before Chenle or Jisung gets the chance to.

“Oh, Yuta-ah, can you go and play with the kids? You know how truth and dare gets, and I don’t trust Johnny to be responsible, he’s always been such an instigator,” Taeyong says with a shake of his head, as he measures the vodka down to the tiniest drop.

“And you think I’d be the perfect candidate to keep an eye on them?” Yuta asks in disbelief.

“I trust that you’d do as I say for once, Yuta, the others are all still studying for their finals, just this once?” Taeyong asks, and how could Yuta say no when his best friend pulls out the big boba eyes.

Yuta sighs when he sees the sight of Jisung putting a whole dollop of wasabi in his mouth, but he can’t help but laugh when the youngest rushes to the bathroom before he inserts himself in the circle in between you and Mark.

“You’re playing?” Shotaro asks, already perking up at the idea of his big giving away bits and pieces of himself, Yuta isn’t exactly an open book, so he's excited to learn more about him.

“Yup, Taeyong told me to keep an eye on you scoundrels,” Yuta says before he catches Johnny’s eyes, the latter barking out a laugh, Yuta also notes how Jeno was seated next to his friend, he must be here because you’re here, maybe Yuta won’t keep his promise after all.

Things go by uneventfully other than some truths being spilled and Jaemin being told to twerk in the middle of the circle, which he was more than happy to do, however, when he was done his eyes landed on you, and because you’ve been saying truth for a few turns now, you switch it up by saying dare, and honestly, he knows all the truths because all these boys ask are things in the bedroom, taking advantage of the fact that Renjun is absent tonight, so things weren’t all that interesting, but now, Yuta’s interest is piqued.

“I dare you to make out with the hottest person playing,” Xiao Jun suggests, which garnered some groans, Yuta snickers next to you, Yang Yang isn’t here, so things are very much predictable.

You smooth down your skirt before you circle the men around you, eyes lingering on Jeno for a bit too long, the ones that know watch intently, but when you stop in front of Johnny, gasps ring out around the circle, cheers started erupting when squat in front of Johnny, the surprise on his face was evident, cute even if you’re honest, you’re glad you chose to be chaotic tonight, the panic in his eyes had you giggling, breath hitched when you lean in place a chaste peck on his cheek, when you lean away, and did a quick turn back to facing Yuta, Johnny barks out a laugh, while the rest of them back to groaning, you catch a few of them saying that they knew you were just playing them.

Yuta extends his arms, a knowing smile on his face. His eyes take in your plump lips coated in his favourite cherry lip gloss.

“Someone’s been stirring trouble, haven’t you?” Yuta says before he feels your hands tangled in long hair, and out of the corner of his eye, he sees Jeno glaring at him, Jaemin watching nervously where he’s seated.

“I’m always down for trouble when it’s you,” you retorted before you seal your lips with his, climbing into his lap, the familiar bulge of his belt buckle digging into your pelvic and the feeling of of his hands enveloping your thighs sends a shiver up your back, and you couldn’t help yourself, grinding into his crotch, the material of your skirt covering most of your movements, but Yuta could feel everything, smiling against your lips, before he pulls away from you, he could feel his cock twitching at the sight of your dazed eyes and swollen lips.

“Show’s over, I’m taking this one up,” Yuta announces, carrying you away from the shameless group of frat boys that were watching, it’s not their first time, but their curiosity never satiates.

“Damn it, now I need to be the chaperone,” Johnny says begrudgingly.

Jaemin’s silent as he watches his best friend fume in his spot, with a sigh, he cracks a bottle of soju he placed next to him before the game started, passing it to Jeno, the latter taking a huge swig, not long after, Jeno opts out of the game to look for a distraction for the night.

Your eyes flutter when you wake, the sun shining from Yuta’s opened blinds, his body warm under yours, his arm tossed over your waist which you remove to go wash up in his ensuite bathroom, the good thing about sleeping over at Yuta’s.

When you’re done, Yuta’s still sleeping away, you close his blinds for him, he’d probably want to sleep longer, he finished his finals not too long ago, he should be getting more rest.

So you put on your skirt from last night and stealing a sweater from his closet before you padded down to the kitchen, opening the fridge to fetch some ingredients for a basic omelette, spinach and eggs.

“There's still some leftover cranberry juice from last night,” Jeno says, startling you from stirring the omelette in your pan.

“Oh, nice, could you pour me a glass?” you ask, “if you want an omelette then you can fetch me more eggs and spinach, I'll make it,” you add on.

“Thank you,” Jeno says, handing you the ingredients after washing and chopping the spinach.

Soon after, the two of you are sat across each other on the island, joking about last night’s events, from the part where Haechan was dared to take off his shirt and go out for a quick run in the cold till the part where Jaemin had twerked in the circle and had accidentally shoved his ass at a very confused Jaehyun who had just finished a round of beer pong and wanted to see what was happening in the truth or dare circle, conversation was going smoothly and lighthearted until it wasn’t, by then the two of you have finished eating and Jeno’s washing the dishes.

“So you and Yuta…” Jeno trails off, his gaze absent, his fingers holding the fork rather tightly, knuckles white from the restricted blood flow.

“It’s nothing serious,” you brush off absently, you’re not lying, what you and Yuta have is strictly no strings attached, but if the lines were more blurred…you wouldn’t have minded if Jeno hadn’t holed up a place in your heart.

Jeno nods, unconvinced, or maybe he’s just blinded by jealous rage.

“Jeno?” your voice yanks Jeno away from the many images of you and Yuta holding hands and kissing, a scene cruller than what he had witnessed last night, but he bites his tongue from saying anything, not when he still has Eunbi’s necklace hanging on his neck, it wouldn’t be fair to any of you if he acts on his urges.

“Yeah?” Jeno grunts out, he didn’t mean to sound mean, but he can’t help it, just the thought of you and Yuta being something more just pisses him off, he isn’t even worried about Yang Yang, he knows you go to him for pure casual fun, you can never settle with a guy like that, he could tell you crave someone who has a natural leading aura, and that’s why he’s so down bad, the way your eyes light up when he helps you with something as simple as carrying your bag or ordering your food, every time he does something for you, he could feel his heartstrings tugging painfully.

“Jeno, if you have something to say, then say it,” you say, you don’t know why you’re feeling so confrontational today, but it’s been two years of running in circles around Jeno, and honestly, you’re tired, and maybe this would send your friend group into a catharsis, but you can’t keep tiptoeing your feelings around Jeno anymore, not when he obviously knows how you feel.

Jeno shuts the tap off before turning to face you, and something breaks inside him when he sees the conflicted look swimming in your pupils, and at that moment, he wants to wipe it away, and so he makes the mistake of pulling you close by the waist, sealing his lips with yours, and Jeno hasn’t felt this alive since a long time, he could feel all the nerves on his lips igniting like a dying flame miraculously being sparked till they’re a blazing wildfire, and the way his hands wrap around your waist, the warmth of your body rekindles a physical craving he’s never felt before with anyone else he used as a distraction of the loss of Eunbi. Eunbi, no-

Your heart shatters when Jeno pushes you away, searching his eyes for an explanation, but Jeno has his eyes closed, he looks too calm, taking a deep breath as if that kiss was merely a simple mistake, you’ve seen him act more emotional when he doesn’t receive his desired grade for a paper, are you nothing to him?

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that,” Jeno mutters through gritted teeth, eyes avoiding yours at all cost.

“Is that it? That’s all you have to say to me, Jeno? That our kiss was merely a mistake? Don’t tell me what you feel all this time is also some sort of fucking misjudgement, Jeno!” you lash out, venom in your tone as you throw out punches on his sturdy chest, and what made you angrier was that he let you hurt him, like he doesn’t even bother defending or protecting himself from your lethal accusation, you can’t even call him a coward, a coward wouldn't stand there and let you do as you please.

Fortunately for Jeno, Jaemin comes to his rescue, detaching your agitated figure away from his friend, trying his best to calm you down with sweet nothings, that you’re better off, that Jeno’s being an idiot, but the damage has been dealt, there’s nothing that can make you feel better, but you guess you expected this, you had too much faith in Jeno.

“I’m so disappointed in you, Jeno,” you say before you take your leave, casting one more disappointed look at Jeno, and at that moment, the man that you’ve always thought looked so broad in your eyes now looks like the smallest man who’s ever lived.

Jaemin sighs when he no longer sees you within sight, Jeno heaves out a shudder of breath, he could tell his friend was trying his best to hold himself up in front of you, how quintessential of Jeno, never letting anyone into the depths of his mind.

“You can’t keep doing this to yourself, Jeno,” Jaemin mutters as he checks for bruises under Jeno’s shirt, but Jeno brushes his hand away, rolling his sweater back down, even if you did bruise him, he deserved it for what he keeps putting you through, “Jeno, Eunbi wouldn’t have want to see you this way, she would’ve wanted to see you happy, not punishing yourself like this, she would’ve wanted you to move on, Jeno, you think she’d like seeing you wallowing in self loathing?” Jaemin says in a huff, he’s tried spelling this out in a kinder way to his best friend, but it doesn’t seem to get through that thick skull of his.

Jeno doesn’t answer, he just dodges his friend’s attempts of wanting to talk more, locking himself inside his room, wishing that the remorse, guilt, and heartbreak would just swallow him up. He hates himself for betraying Eunbi, even if it was just a mere kiss, contemplating on what Jaemin had said, could he really move on without feeling guilty as sin?

The cold wind prickles Jeno’s skin, his worn out padding not doing much to block the harshest of the weather, cursing to himself as he climbs down the stairs, not a single person in sight at this period and this hour, and then he sees it, the familiar tombstone, he sighs in relief as he takes in the sight of Eunbi’s tiny photo on the slab.

Fishing out a small cloth from his jean pocket, he wipes the photo of Eunbi before he wipes away the dust atop the tombstone and the dust on the slab of stone where he sits whenever he visits.

“I’ve missed you,” Jeno says as he places down a bouquet of roses, Eunbi loves roses, he calls it cliche, she says it’s because she loves how roses are one of the flowers that attract butterflies the most.

“I used to think I would get the opportunity to grow old with you, a house, a car, and maybe two kids, the cliche, but,” Jeno stops himself, swallowing the lump down his throat before he continues, “I guess those weren't in the cards for us in this lifetime,” Jeno says before exhaling a long sigh, “but sometimes I do think, would we have really gone on our entire lives? Would we have broken up along the road? Those 2 years of loving you, and spending my whole childhood with you by my side were beautiful, and every single day without you by my side was a living hell, but when I thought nothing could really bring me back to life, I met someone, and I feel so fucking guilty towards you, and I don't know if I'm supposed to feel what I'm feeling for her, I love you, and I always will, but I can't deny what I'm feeling for her either, so now I'm here, Eunbi-ah, please tell me what should I do, if you told me to wait till my dying days to reunite with you, I will, please just give me a sign,” Jeno pleads hopelessly, a hand caressing the tiny photo of Eunbi.

Just then, a tiny flutter of wings catches his eye, and a butterfly lands on the bouquet of roses in front of him.

‘Is this the sign I’m asking for?’ Jeno asks himself, but when he tries to sit closer for a clearer look, the butterfly flies away with a quick flutter of its wings, the bright yellow contrasting the cloudy sky.

“Are you telling me to move on too, Eunbi-ah?” Jeno says with a long sigh, next life, maybe things would be different then.

After watching the sunset with Eunbi, Jeno drove home and immediately stormed into Jaemin's room, his friend was busy watching cat videos when he interrupted him, not a surprising thing for him to do honestly.

“What’s up?” Jaemin asks, swivelling his gaming chair to face his friend who had made himself comfortable on his bed.

“I need advice,” Jeno said, which earned him one of his friend’s classic menace smiles which makes him look like the Grinch.

You have no plans today, you had just finished having pizza with Yeri, your roommate slash bestie announcing that you needed a self care day after the shit storm a certain someone put you through.

Suddenly, your doorbell rings, Yeri’s in the bathroom, so you get the door, assuming that she ordered dessert in advance without telling you, but to your shock, it was Jeno, and in his hands are supermarket flowers that he used to joke were overpriced for its minimal packaging.

“I’m sorry for everything, I was a coward and an emotionally constipated asshole, and I know I don’t deserve a second a chance, but if you’d give me the chance, I promise I’ll try my best not to fuck up, and if I do, I’ll promise I’ll make it up to you,” Jeno says, pleading his case with you, everyone often jokes about how Jeno looks like a samoyed, but right now, he looks like a puppy with the way his eyes are trained on you, analysing your every movement and flicker of expression, awaiting your verdict.

“You’re not an asshole for taking your time to mourn and move on from Eunbi, but Jeno, are you sure you’re ready to jump into a relationship? I know you still miss her dearly, and it was mean of me to ask so much from you, you don’t have to be with me if you’re doing this out of guilt, Jeno, I don’t want your pity,” you explain, you don’t want to see the sight of his guilty eyes whenever you’re with him, it would crush your soul to bits, to never have his heart entirely.

“No, I’m serious, I thought things through and realised that I can miss her and love the moments I had with her and still move on to the next chapter of my life, I used to think to love her means I shouldn’t allow anyone in my heart, but Jaemin’s right, she wouldn’t have wanted to see me like this, and I know you wouldn’t want to see me like this either, I want to give us a chance, I’m sorry I came to my senses so late, I hope it’s not too late,” Jeno says, his heart aches when he sees rivulets of tears stream down your face, he places the flowers on the bench next to him before he extends his arms to you, and he sighs in content when he feels your arms around him, your face buried in his chest, he reaches a hand up to pat your head, comforting you.

“Well, I just got a text from Joy that she wants to grab drinks, so I’m gonna head out, you two talk things out on your own, call me if you need anything,” Yeri says before she takes her leave, wanting to give the two of you privacy.

Jeno directs the two of you to the living room, plopping the two of your conjoined bodies onto the couch.

“Hey… don’t cry for me, I’m not worth it,” Jeno says, his hands wiping away your tears with the back of his hand. You choked up a laugh through your tears, swaying your head sideways.

“It’s not that, I’m just, I already accepted the idea of not having you, and now that you’re here… I’m just, surprised– but glad,” you confessed, god, you hate crying for a man, but at least the fool in this fable gets her happy ending after all.

“I’m glad too, sweetheart. I wouldn’t have been mad in the slightest if you said no, but thank you, thank you for giving me this chance,” Jeno says as he wraps you up in his arms, and he feels you sink into hold, and that’s how the two of you fall asleep on your bed that night.

‘Come earlier, I have a surprise for you ;)’

You smile to yourself when you see the text from Jeno, wondering if he got you the new grapes that are in season or something. When you got there a few hours earlier, the house was relatively empty, partygoers aren't here yet and only a few freshmen were setting up the place for the frat party. You let yourself in Jeno’s room, surprised to see that it’s empty, but soon you hear light footsteps pad into the room before your eyes are being covered by a familiar pair of hands.

“What grand surprise do you have for me, Jeno?” you ask, turning around, his hands drop from your face, but you keep your eyes closed, not wanting to spoil the surprise on his behalf.

“Wait, one sec, okay, now you can open your eyes,” Jeno says excitedly.

You peered your eyes open and a gasp left your lips.

“Oh my god, it’s blue!” you say, not believing your eyes, your hands reach out to touch his hair, not fried from the bleach dye, thankfully.

“Wanted to have something fresh to mark the start of our relationship, and seeing my hair on those filters you put on me gave me the idea of dyeing my hair,” Jeno explains, “do you like it?” he tapers off, a bit insecure because you look like you love it, but you haven’t said anything to confirm it yet.

“I love it,” you say as you turn his head from side to side to get a better look at the entire haircut with a giant smile on your face.

“Let me take a quick shower and get dressed then we can head down,” Jeno says with a quick peck before he retrieves his things and leave for the bathroom, leaving you to your devices, or moreso Jeno’s devices, you love watching concert videos on his screen, that expensive hunk of equipment is clearer than your vision.

However, halfway through watching old concert videos, you took notice of his drawer not being closed all the way, out of curiosity, you open it to see what it stores, and to your shock, a jewellery box is the first thing you see, the box design tells you that it isn’t anywhere near brand new.

Maybe you shouldn’t be snooping around, but you couldn’t help yourself, Jeno never gets mad at you, he even tells you his phone password, he has nothing to hide, and so you pry the box open with gentle hands.

The glint of the perfectly preserved crystals caught your eye, then you recognise the shape of the pendant, butterfly, Jeno used to wear this ever since Eunbi passed, why isn’t he wearing it anymore? Did he think you’d mind that he did? That wasn’t the impression you wanted to give off, there’s no point being jealous of someone who’s no longer here, that’s just absurd.

“Oh, you found her old necklace,” Jeno notes with no malice in his voice despite the fact that you feel yourself jumping slightly at the sound of his voice.

“I, I saw your drawer wasn���t closed all the way and just wanted to check it out, sorry,” you apologised, but Jeno quickly brushes off your apology with a reassuring smile, “why aren’t you wearing it anymore? It’s not like I’d get jealous,” you say, scared that the reason he felt like he was obliged to stop wearing it was because of your relationship.

“I know you won’t get jealous, and I didn’t take it off like right after you said yes, I just thought it was time a few days ago, to put some things to rest, I’ll look back on these things from time to time, but I think it’s time to put some distance for me to move forward,” Jeno explains as his hands are laid on your shoulders, the weight and the brush of his thumbs comforting you.

“I’m just worried you’re rushing things for me,” you reason.

“I’m not, so don’t worry,” Jeno assures once again, “how about we go down now?” Jeno suggests after hearing the music starting from below, you agree instantly, maybe you’re just too stressed about everything, a drink sounds amazing now.

“Look who just made their long awaited debut,” Jaemin said at the sight of the two of you making way to the usual spot your friend group usually sits at.

Jeno tenses up when Renjun meets his eyes, his best friend had given him a long talk when he had heard from you that Jeno finally came around, needless to say, Jeno would never want to get on his best friend’s bad side, he’s sure he would manage to beat him up despite being much shorter than him.

Distantly, Jeno could hear you tell Jaemin to shut up before there’s too much attention placed on you and Jeno, your skin is thick, but you know Jeno doesn’t like too much attention on him, hence with a little more teasing, your friends switch topics, and just like that things are back to normal, a bit too normal for your liking, because soon, a girl makes her way to Jeno to ask for a dance, but your boyfriend quickly declines and explains that he won’t be casually hooking up with anyone anymore.

Even though you were silent the entire interaction, Jeno could see the jealousy in your eyes and the way you immediately downed a shot of soju.

“Someone’s jealous?” Jeno asks, clearly amused by the sight in front of him, pulling you closer into his embrace, he doesn't want anyone eavesdropping on a conversation where you could possibly feel vulnerable.

“Nope, not at all,” you say briskly, clearly overcompensating, dodging his kiss, Jeno laughing at your antics.

“Okay, whatever you say,” Jeno says, letting you be.

Although unfortunately for Jeno, things get a twist of events when he sees Yang Yang waving to you from afar with a smile too friendly for his liking when the two of you were swaying to the beat on the dance floor, and you quickly see your samoyed of a boyfriend turn into a doberman right in front of your eyes, gone was the puppy eyes that are quickly replaced by the obvious glare in his eyes.

“Looks like someone's jealous,” you tease, playing with the freshly cut ends of his hair at his nape.

“Let's head up, party sucks today,” Jeno says, pulling you by your hand, leading you upstairs to his room, quick on his feet but not fast to the point where you can’t keep up in your heels.

When the door shuts behind you, Jeno quickly kicks off his own shoes before he squsts down to slip off your heels for you, then immediately he tosses you over his shoulder as if you weigh as much as a feather, tossing you on his bed with a bounce before he climbs on the bed himself, his moves slow and calculative as if he was predator stalking its prey, behind his eyes, you can see the gears behind moving as he thinks of what to do with you, but when you reach up to touch his cheek, you see his eyes softening around the edges, the control you have over him sends a shudder down your spine, Jeno smiles at that realisation when he comes to the conclusion that if you asked, he’d relinquish all control over his life to you if you asked, he’s willing to give you all of him at your request, now that he knows life is fragile not to love wholeheartedly, but he knows what you want, and for now, at this moment, you want Jeno to guide you, but what he asks you catches you off guard.

“What’s your average kill in a match on codm?” he asks as he hovers over you, arms caging your body.

“What? I don’t know, like 15 if you’re asking about multiplayer,” you answer in a tone of disbelief.

Jeno has that familiar cunning mirth on his face when he reaches for your phone that you had previously placed on his nightstand so as to not get in the way when things get heated.

“You think you can reach your average while I eat you out?” Jeno asks as he passes you your phone.

You feel heat crawl up your face when you register his words, can’t help but laugh at how ridiculous he sounds, but you’ll indulge him.

“I’ll try my best, just for you,” you agree, but you know there’s more to his proposition.

“Before you say yes, there’s a catch, if you don’t get 15 kills, for every kill you lack is one spank,” Jeno says with a quirked brow, his eyes challenging you.

You don’t consider yourself competitive, but when it comes to a game you know you’re good at, it ignites the dormant competitiveness in you that you swear you outgrew as a teenager.

“Deal,” you agree, you’re gonna win either way, if you fail awfully at the game, you still get to get your back blown out regardless, and in Jeno’s words, you've always been a masochist, maybe just a little bit. There must be some truth to it since you were sleeping with Yuta of all people.

“Let me know when you start,” Jeno says as you open the app, telling him when the countdown begins, and quickly he takes off your skirt and panties to toss it to the side of his bed.

Jeno starts off slow, his index finger tracing your slit, starting from the bottom, it piques your interest, but it doesn’t take away your focus entirely, until his fingertip hits the bundle of your nerves, your breath hitches, but you still manage to get your third kill of the game.

You look so hot like this, all concentrated on your phone screen, not so different from how you usually game, other than the fact that you now have your bottom lip between your teeth to ground yourself, Jeno hears another three more kills when he decides to go in for the actual kill, leaning down to capture your clit between his lips, hollowing his lips as his fingers enters you, so fucking wet, god, Jeno, groans to himself, he can’t wait to be inside you, your cursing distracts Jeno from his train of filthy thoughts.

“Died?” Jeno asks before he dives back to his feast between your legs, he distantly hears you cursing at a sniper before he feels your legs twitching when he finally finds your sensitive spot, fingers curling upward, knowing that you usually cave in and ask him to fuck you at this point when you’re having regular foreplay.

You curse silently when you realise you lost count of how many kills you managed to secure, you haven’t gotten a single headshot in this match, and when the score limit reaches its end, you can feel the knot in your abdomen threatening to snap, and so you quickly toss your phone aside to grind back on Jeno’s face, his nose has always been such a good placeholder for your clit to hump on, and Jeno loves it, loves how debauched you are, he could just watch you use him to chase your orgasm all night if he wanted to, and when you finally reach your high, a whine of Jeno’s name reaches his ears as he feels your sexy legs wrap around his head and your juices burst in his mouth and the excess dripping down his forearm.

When you finally come back to your senses after ascending to heaven, you check your score on your screen, you breathe a sigh of relief, 11 kills, you proudly show Jeno your score.

“So four spanks, you want to sit through your punishment or would you prefer if I do it in between rearranging your guts?” Jeno offers, since you did so well for him.

You ponder over the suggestion, but the thought of needing to wait longer to get filled has you choosing the latter.

“I think I’d like to be surprised today,” you say before you strip off the rest of your clothing, Jeno’s eyes following every movement you make, licking his lips when he sees the slight jiggle of your tits as you move about, that is until you settle on all four, presenting yourself to him, and a beast claws at Jeno’s belly for a need to just take you.

It’s like you read his mind, because you tell him to just put it in, that you’re loose enough from the foreplay, you say as you spread your cheeks for him, the sight of your wet pussy has him losing all control, who is he to deny you when you’re presented so prettily for him like this? He’s no god, any man would crack under your ministrations.

So he doesn’t hold back, grasping his cock in one hand while he parts your folds with the other, cursing when he finally slips in your warm and wet hole, slowly sliding in till the hilt, he loves this process, loves the way you shudder when you feel him intrude your walls inch by inch, your lips parted as your head rests on his pillow.

When you’ve adjusted to his size, you whimper out a singular word, move, before you feel your whole world fizzle away as pleasure clouds your head at the first thrust, always rough when you need him to be, rough and fast, that’s Jeno’s preferred pace, quickly locating your sensitive spot with the thick tip of his cock that has you screaming into his pillow, but no matter how hard you try to muffle your voice, the headboard banging against the walls is dead giveaway of how you’re having your back broken by Jeno, but you throw all caution to the wind if it means you get feel the feeling of such ecstasy flowing through your whole body, you swear every time he drills his cock inside you, the more pleasure you feel, and the dumber you get, when all thoughts of sanity get replaced by the primal need to chase your high, your train of thoughts, or lack thereof since all you were thinking were the word ‘cock’ on repeat, gets broken by a harsh smack on your butt, it came out of nowhere, catching you off guard, and it shows by how your walls clench tightly on Jeno’s dick, your release coating his length.

“Fuck, you’re such a fucking pain slut, aren’t you? One smack has you cumming on my dick like some virgin,” Jeno spats out as he keeps fucking you, knowing that you’re extra sensitive after two orgasms upping his motivation to drive you absolutely mad.

Jeno quickly finds your clit, the poor thing swollen with the treatment Jeno previously put it through, rubbing circles on your bundle of nerves roughly, which has you bucking before he sends two smacks its way.

“Fuck,” you curse to yourself as you feel tears prickling the corner of your eyes, trying so hard not to cum from the pain, and in doing so, you clench around Jeno so hard that has him stop mid thrust to anchor himself, he still wants to get at least one more out of you before he cums.

He resumes after having a bit fun with fondling your tits, thanking gravity with the way he could feel the weight of them in his palm, he’s gonna have to suck on them after he’s done with this, he thinks to himself before he goes back to chasing his high, planting one of his feet on the ground to fuck you faster, and soon you could feel yourself cumming at any second, whispering how you’re close to Jeno, before you feel another spank being sent to your clit, the pain and the oversensitivity pushing you over the edge with a scream of Jeno’s name and a fist forming with the sheets on his bed.

“Fuck, love it when you squirt for me,” you hear Jeno distantly, not really registering his words until you feel your thighs being slicked with your release, which Jeno promptly cleans up with his pack of wet tissue he’s kept in his room by the dozen ever since he found out you’re squirter.

When the three towels are stripped from under you and into the hamper, Jeno finally joins you under his fluffy blanket, holding you close.

“I didn’t go too far right?” Jeno asks, he trusts that you will use your safeword if he ever goes over the limit, but he always does a final check in after you settle, just in case you drop into a vulnerable state where you need extra care and attention.

“No, of course not, I feel more than fine, but thank you for asking,” you say before pecking his lips sweetly.

“You hungry? Craving anything? I could check if the guys are getting delivery, see if you want anything,” Jeno offers, but you shake your head.

“Just want some cuddles and sleep, I’ll let you know what I’m craving for brunch tomorrow, but now, I need to recharge,” you say as you snuggle closer to Jeno, practically attached at the hip, but Jeno lets you, combing through your hair for you as you drift off to sleep.

Jeno was first to wake, quickly climbing out of bed to shut his blinds, knowing that you absolutely despise being blinded by the sun rays first thing in the morning, you’ve always been a night owl after all.

After washing up in the bathroom, he makes his way back to you, still sleeping, cuddled under his blankets, just like how he’s tucked you in before he left his room, you don’t move much in your sleep, Jeno notices as he climbs back in bed, it’s no wonder why you always remain in his arms the whole night.

Jeno looked over to his alarm clock to see that it’s almost 10am, he knows this is the time you prefer waking up, and when Jeno sees his blanket slipping off your shoulder to reveal your smooth skin, Jeno has the best idea on how to wake you up, and maybe, even the whole house if he does well enough, and well, unfortunately for the other people sleeping right now, Jeno’s always been a top scorer for anything he puts his mind to, Jeno chuckles to himself at the thought of being a menace as he makes his way under the blankets.

You’ve never had everyone giving you the stink eye before, well, at least not in this frat house, and the one who looks most annoyed is none other than Haechan, whose room is next door to Jeno’s.

“I swear to god, hearing them made my hangover even worse,” Haechan mutters, but loud enough for everyone at the breakfast table to hear, Johnny was the first one to laugh, Johnny had left the party early for a hookup hence the lack of a hangover, he had just got back in time for this comedy show.

“You’re laughing?! My head is still pounding from last night’s drinking and worsened by their shenanigans and you’re laughing?! God, why did Renjun have to get lucky last night, they always pull shit like this when he’s gone,” Haechan complains, or moreso whining, if you asked Jeno.

“Come on, Haechan-ah, it couldn’t have been that bad, I didn’t even hear a thing,” Sungchan says, coming to Jeno’s defence quickly, they’re coursemates after all, and Jeno is always a big help to him, he loves Haechan, but he’s doing this for his own good.

“Your room is on the other side of the house, of course you barely heard anything, she literally sounded like she was getting mauled by a wild animal, listen, let me try and recreate-

Two taps on Jeno’s lap has your boyfriend springing up from his seat with a deadly gaze and Haechan goes silent before he screams bloody murder, running for Jaemin or Mark, whoever he finds first, Sungchan sighs to himself while Johnny and Jungwoo laugh at the comedic scene in front of them, and you can’t help but laugh along with them too, Haechan might have tried making fun of you, but you know Jeno would always be there to silence him for you, and honestly, you could get used to this life you share with Jeno.

The end.

[deya38]

*English is not my real language, so I work with a translator. I apologize for the errors found!!!*

"Cracks in the Heart" Prologue...chapter 1...chapter 2

You loved the rain very much, you and mom and dad often went for walks in it… But the rain took your beloved parents away… now you are alone… with your toy Harley…. This is the last gift from mom… And here comes the rain again. A five-year-old child stands under an umbrella in a black dress, crying and wiping her little tears. Your nanny Lily stands next to you and holds the umbrella. Alfred stands nearby. You watch as your parents' coffins are lowered into the damp, cold ground. Tears roll down your cheeks, your little nose is red from how many times you wiped it with a napkin. The final resting place of your parents is covered with dirt. Alfred placed his hand on your shoulder.

“Lady… it’s time to go…”

I turn to him and hug Lily one last time.

“Lily, I will miss you…”

“(Your/name) I will also miss you, but the best life awaits you… You will have many opportunities… when you come back here, I will meet you with open arms…”

She hugs you tightly.

“Goodbye, little one,” kissing you on the forehead, she let go. Wiping your tears and getting to her feet, she helped Alfred put you in the car. When the car started moving, Lily watched her with her gaze, you looked in response into her beautiful blue eyes that radiated sadness… you watched until she disappeared from sight. Sitting up straight, you turned your attention to Alfred.

“Alfred…”

“Yes, lady?”

“And Bruce… is he good? Is he as good as my dad?”

“Lady, Bruce is your father, and he has a kind heart. You have many brothers and sisters, and your father loves them all…”

A He Will Love Me?

A he will love me? His love for me will be enough? After all, he loves so many people, I am afraid that his love for me will not be enough! -Of course, it will be enough. His love is inexhaustible.

At this point, your conversation stopped. You looked out the window, the trees quickly flashed before your eyes, the rain drummed against the window.

_________________Time Skip________________

You stood in front of a huge mansion more resembling a castle. You took Alfred's hand with your little hand, he headed towards the entrance of the house. Opening the large doors, the elderly butler let you inside. You looked around the hall, but there was no one there...

When Alfred closed the door and turned around, his face frowned.

-Alfred... where is dad?-You thought that your new father would come to greet you, but apparently, that is not the case.

-Perhaps he is in the office... I think it is worth notifying him of your arrival.

Going up, you walked down a long corridor, you counted about five doors, and at the very end of the corridor was it... a dark door... shadows emanated from it... as if warning you...

-Alfred, do you see this too?- The elderly butler looked in your direction with a look of confusion.

-What exactly? ...

-Nothing... just seemed so...

The rest of the way to your father's office you spent in complete silence. Here you are standing at the threshold, Alfred raises his hand and with a light wrist movement knocks on the door, and a knock is heard.

Come in, you heard a deep and clearly tired voice that belongs to your father. Alfred was the first to enter the room, followed by you, and carefully closing the door, he straightened up...

-Master Bruce do you remember that Police Commissioner Gordon called you about your biological daughter?

-Yes…-he replied, still hunched over the table, sifting through a pile of papers.-What’s the matter?

-She has already arrived, sir… -Alfred nudged you forward a bit so that your father could see you. You looked at the stern man and hugged your toy Harley tighter.

-Come on, miss, you need to say hello-whispered the elderly butler to you.

-Hello…- during the entire conversation, your so-called father did not lift his gaze to you; he was more interested in the papers on his desk.

-Alfred, place her in one of the rooms and order everything she needs.-

He spoke as if you were not in the room.

-And please do not distract me until dinner if it is not something serious.-

That’s how your first meeting with your “father” went.

————————————————————————

All the rooms are occupied, and now you wander through lonely and confusing corridors.

The walls are adorned with grotesque portraits of people unknown to you and gloomy landscapes that you have never seen.

You hear some buzzing… and it is so familiar… you are being led by some unknown force… Harley hangs in your hand, dark shadows crawling out of nowhere wrap around your legs and lead you… They seem so familiar and dear… You want to cry from this…

Here you stand before a door, voices are calling you… asking you to open this door… Your eyes darted to the portrait hanging next to the door.

It was a woman of unprecedented beauty and elegance.

-This is your grandmother, Martha Wayne.She was like an angel descended from heaven, kind and ready to help everyone.I’m sure you would have liked her.-

Looking back, you glanced at Alfred. a soft smile was visible on his face directed at you.

-You look so much like her.-

Turning back to the door, all the shadows disappeared, and you no longer heard the voices.

-Alfred, I want this room.

----------------- Time Skip -----------------------

Almost a week has passed since your move; new furniture was ordered for you, and you and Alfred went and bought a lot of new clothes and many new toys, but you never parted with your beloved Harley.

You started to see the shadows more often; they crawled out from the corners or the bed, but as soon as someone appeared in their line of sight, they disappeared.

You ran through the corridor playing with Harley.

You began to do this more often; you liked running through the large and spacious corridors.

The ringing laughter echoed through the deserted halls zalam

Harley was dangling in your hand while you were running. Suddenly, you bumped into something or someone, but you managed to keep your balance just in time.

-Baby! Watch where you’re running! You are my new little sister, right? Nice to see you!I’m Dick. The guy ruffled your hair.

-Y…YES! I (your/name) -You exclaimed excitedly, as someone other than Alfred paid attention to you.

-You haven’t seen Alfred? He usually cleans up here at this time…

-He went to get groceries…-you mumbled barely audibly.

-Don’t you want to play with me and Harley? -You shyly averted your eyes and raised the toy so he would notice it. His face twisted at the sight of the toy in a black and red suit, but you didn’t notice that.

-No, baby, I have a lot to do. I’ll definitely play with you next time!

With that, your conversation ended, and you smiled like a silly girl because you finally met one of your brothers.

———————————————————————-

After dinner, you were getting ready for bed. Shadows began to crawl out from under the bed… they became bolder and bolder…

Getting up from the chair, you approached the shadows and extended your hand… A misty little whisker timidly reached out to your outstretched hand, as if studying you… and then, scared of something, it slid back under the bed.

Leaning down and looking under the bed, you saw only darkness that was luring you more and more…

[saltnsugarbear]

we've been breathing the same air for too long

summary: you invite Lip to one of your games!

title from: "Brando" by Lucy Dacus

word count: 1.5k

content warnings: fade to black smut moment, lots of volleyball babble, nothing crazy!

side note: today's is for my Sonia!! I know youre not a sports girlie but I love nerd bf/sports partner with Lip, you are my beloved! you're so darling! I'm so glad I met you <3

It started out purely neighborly.

You lived on the same street, it was easier for Lip to catch a ride with you. He didn't know you guys lived on the same street until you had a English project together. Lip thought he'd do most of the heavy lifting, mostly because you were, well.... you were a jock. And he kind of assumed you were.... Well not dumb, but certainly not as into the curriculum as you were.

So when you contribute just as much to the project as he does, Lip is surprised and... Endeared to you. You're much more opinionated on the romantic era than he gave you credit for.

What he liked less was having to wait after your practice. Traditionally, Lip would have set up in the library to wait for you, but of course they were using it this year to help try and get their passing grade percentage up. So he has no choice but to make his way down to the gym. The net is already set up and the ball cart next to one of the posts.

Lip doesn't miss the double takes that some of the team does, looking back at where he's set up on the bleachers. He doesn't bother looking back at them, he's got work to do. What does get his attention is the ball that hits the bleachers below him. Lip furrows his brow before he looks up from his worksheet. What he doesn't expect is to see you standing at the foot of the bleachers with your hands on your hips.

"What are you doing down here? I thought I was collecting you from the library?" Your voice echoes slightly, raising it to be heard over your team talking.

"They're using it," Lip shrugs. His response makes you grin, leaning so you're resting your elbows against the second or third bleacher and place your head in your hands.

"You just wanted to see me practice," You tease, crossing one ankle over the other despite your knee pads. Lip rolling his eyes makes you smile wider, pushing yourself up to rest on your hands.

"Just don't stare at my ass the whole time," You tease him further, not missing the way the tips of his ears tinge just the smallest bit pink.

And he doesn't, for the most part. Keeping his eyes and his mind on his homework. The rest of the week follows much of the same, save for when he catches a few glances of you, hands on your knees while you wait for serve. After practice you change and Lip collects his things, and then you lead him to your car and drive to your house to work on your project.

And your interactions stay strictly focused on the project. Keeping space between you both on your mattress or on the couch. Keeping conversation light or on the section of Self Reliance you had both picked.

That's until the day you have to turn in the project. To say you're going to miss seeing Lip in the bleachers is.... Pathetic. He only ever sat there because he had to, not because he wanted to be there for you. So, you bring it up after you pick him up from his house, waving his siblings goodbye as they mope their way to the bus stop.

"So, I was thinking-" You start.

"That's never good," Lip says after blowing smoke out the window, glancing over at you when he ashes his cigarette out the window.

"Shut up, free loader." You scoff, lightly reminding him you're the one driving.

"You were thinking?" Lip coaxes, motioning with his hand to encourage you.

"I was thinking," You continue. "That... I don't know, that you could come to my game today. I mean, since you were at all the practices. Why not see it pay off?"

You shrug before glancing at him. Lip is watching the road, humming in thought.

"Fuck it, why not?" Lip huffs, like it's something out of his way to stay after school. His response makes you scoff and roll your eyes, trying to suppress the smile toying at your lips.

Lip agreeing to watch your game puts you in a good mood for the rest of the day. Makes you noticeably more cheery at your lunch table and brush off the poor grade you got on your history quiz. However, you don't see Lip after you guys walk into the school. So you just have to trust he doesn't change his mind at some point during the day and just hop on the bus home.

The crowd inside the gym is loud, and they only get louder when your team walks in. There's too many people to try and pick out Lip's face in the crowd and you feel your stomach twist. Maybe you were stupid to think he would actually show up.

Your warm-ups and game go off without a hitch. Except that your nerves nearly cause you to start a fight with one of the rival girls, faces up in the net and calling each other names. The timeout you receive quickly reminds you that there's more than just your feelings at hand.

Your bench time is when you spot Lip. He's managed to wiggle is way to the front bleachers opposite of you. He knows when you see him by how you perk up, eyes wide when you sit up. The only thing he gives you is a two finger salute and nod towards your coach. Who is telling you to get back on the court and hopefully help bag the game point for this set.

The rest of the game is a blur, one that results in your team winning. The celebration with your team is short as you try and hunt down Lip. He's easy to find along the edges of the gym, pushing through families and friends to get to him.

"You made it," You sigh, bringing him into a quick hug. You don't miss how Lip pauses before wrapping his arms around you, holding you close before you slip out. "Ready to go?"

"Ready to get away from these freaks.." Lip huffs, shouldering his bag. His response makes you roll your eyes before you drag him out to the hall.

"Two seconds." You tell him before slipping into your locker room to collect your bag. You text one of your teammates to fill you in on the after match huddle, they're usually the same but just in case.

Once you're ready, you taking Lip by the hand and lead him out of the building.

Your car is the only one in this corner of the student parking lot and no one across the lot will see you down there. You take advantage of that and press Lip up against the side of the door. He makes a noise of surprise that you cut off with your own mouth, not missing the way he drops his bag on the asphalt to get hands on you.

"Thought you weren't gonna come," You say between kisses, placing stray ones along his jaw before going back to his mouth.

"And miss you nearly fighting that girl? Not a chance.." Lip sighs, fumbling for the door handle behind him. You hum, opening the front passenger door to throw both your backpacks in there while he finally opens the door. He waits for you to slip onto the seat before following you in.

You practically jump on him after he closes the door behind him. You hold his face between both your hands as you kiss him, keeping him as close to you as you can.

"Fuck-" Lip mutters against your mouth, panting heavily as you make your way to pressing kisses along his jaw. "Let me- shit- Let me show you how proud I am of you.."

His words make your eyes widen, pulling away to look at him.

"What?" You ask breathlessly.

"Let me," Lip quickly loops his fingers into your spandex shorts. "Show you. How proud I am.."

"Lip, you don't have to-" You start.

"Want to," Lip smirks, tugging gently at your waistband until you get the hint to lift your hips up for him.

"Are you sure?" You ask, helping him push them off your ankles.

"Why wouldn't I be sure?" Lip asks, leaning forward to start pressing kisses along your neck.

"Just that," You sigh softly when Lip places a soft nip at your jaw. "Most guys don't like... Y'know.."

"Most guys are idiots," Lip mutters into your skin, slipping one hand under the hem of your jersey to grope at your chest.

"Wait," You huff, slipping out of his touch to lean up against your center console. You manage to grab at the bar that allows you to push the passenger seat up so Lip has more room in foot well. The pinch Lip gives your ass makes you squeal, nudging him gently with your leg.

Lip gets the hint and slips into the foot well when you slide back into your seat.

"Lean back," Lip urges you, hooking his fingers in your underwear.

"Gonna show you how proud I am.."

[snail-noodle]

thinking about how my oc and shadow milk cookie (before his fall) would first end up meeting.

this ended up turning out as a small fic??? Oh! And shadow milk cookie will be called light milk cookie in this :)

Also here's how I see Shadow Milk Cookie's design! Follow this artist, I'm begging ya'll 🙏💖

Clam Cookie fell sick to a mysterious illness in her early adult years. Her parents called for the best doctors/healers near them, but no one could figure out a cure. Both being desperate, not wanting their only beloved daughter to die, eventually sought the help of one of the five great cookies, the virtue of knowledge, Light Milk Cookie.

Light Milk Cookie agreed to find a cure, feeling compassion for her parents and for her. Sadly, with how far away his kingdom was from her home, he had to take her with him. So, with hushed goodbyes and tears in their eyes, the two parents watched as the carriage carried their daughter to a faraway kingdom.

And so, the great hero worked day and night to find a cure for the young lady. Thanks to her parents, he found out about the herbs and medicines the other doctors had tried on using. With this information, he would mix or replace specific ingredients for each medicine he would make. One particular medicine he made ended up showing some effect, but it still wasn't enough to cure her fully.

Then he had an idea. An absolute ambitious idea.

Perhaps, with some of his soul jam's essence and a mixture of the medicine, perhaps that could be the cure to her illness? Wasting no time, he hurried on making the new version. Once finished and given to her, he waited to see any changes.

As days went by, signs of the medicine healing her gained his attention. The new version was fully curing her! Relief and fatigue filled his entire body. He had gone a few nights and days without sleeping. At last, all his hard work had come to fruition.

Opening her eyes for the first time, Clam Cookie weakly sat up from bed. Groaning at the uncomfortable feeling of her dry throat, she looked around and noticed a glass of water on the desk next to her. Quickly taking it and gulping the refreshing liquid down, she took in her surroundings.

The colors of purple, blue, and white filled the room she was in. Shelves filled to the brim with books, tapestries dedicated to five certain cookies hung on the walls, and the desk near her had a few scrolls laying upon it.

She jumped at the sound of the door opening. She felt her heart race and her face turning warm as the most beautiful cookie she's ever seen in her life walked into the room. His entire look screamed of a sophisticated scholar. However, she knew he was far more than that as she took in more of his features. What took her attention the most was his hair. It flowed constantly, like that of an endless stream.

Next were his eyes. The dark bags underneath them from the lack of sleep were noticeable to her, but even so, they shined like that of two beautiful sapphires being held up in the sunlight.

Light Milk Cookie stood frozen in place. The look of surprise was written all over his face. This was the first time he had seen her eyes, and by the witches, they were absolutely mesmerizing!

Her eyes were the darkest blue, like that of the deep blue ocean. Her long, unkempt hair, which hung loosely behind her back in waves, only made her even more beautiful.

Both were at a loss of words. Neither one of them was able to speak as they studied each other. Clearing her throat, she finally spoke, "W-who are you? Where am I?" Snapping out of his trance, Light Milk Cookie gave her a gentle smile before closing the door.

"Please, have no fear, Clam Cookie. I only came in to check on you." He proceeded to walk closer to her, but stopped once he noticed her flinch. He raised up both his hands, signaling to her that he meant no harm.

"I only want to check if you still have a fever," he spoke softly at her. His tone easily taking away any tension she may have had of him.

"You've been sick for many weeks. This is the first time I've seen you fully awake." Now standing next to her, he gently placed a cool hand on her forehead. He paid no mind to her gasp, only taking note of her fever no longer there.

Humming in approval, he took his hand off and stepped back. With a wave of his hand, he summoned a scroll and a feathered quill pen, jotting down notes of her improved condition.

Clam Cookie looked at the display of magic in awe, her eyes shining as she watched the handsome scholar write.

"I will have to inform your parents about this, but you'll have to stay with me for just a few more days. I need to make sure the symptoms don't return." Looking back at her, he covered his mouth, chuckling at her reaction.

"I'm going to assume you've never seen magic before, yes?"

Clam Cookie shook her head, confirming his question. "I-I've only heard tales and stories of cookies being able to wield magic. I knew they were true, but to actually see it happen in front of me…" Light Milk Cookie couldn't help but blush as her eyes sparkled up at him with absolute admiration.

".. It's absolutely breathtaking."

One would assume her words were aimed directly at his display of magic, but with the way she gazed at him with those eyes, he knew those words were meant for him.

Clearing his throat, he set the scroll and quill down on the desk before turning his attention back to her. He gave her a bow, surprising her from the action.

"Forgive me, Clam Cookie. I haven't fully introduced myself. My name is Light Milk Cookie." he raised his head, gracing her with a charming smile that made her heart skip a beat.

"Though, you may also know me as one of the Five Great Heroes. The Virtue of Knowledge himself."