Our little Atlas with the world on his shoulders, a fire in his heart, and not a thought in his head. Still I'd wager on him before anyone else.
tell my muse what your muse thinks of mine on anon! Anything goes!
🌀 "Eh... what does this mean?" 🐈⬛
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Why do I still wish you would care? Why do I still wish you wanted me even though I no longer want you?
Maybe I’m just still mad about what we could have had. Maybe I’m mad we built up this idea of this life and you couldn’t even commit to it. And now you’re off having crushes on people and telling me about your feelings about them, already trying to move on to another potential future with another person you won’t commit to. And even knowing that it won’t last it still hurts and I hate that it still hurts.
I wanna not give a single fuck about what you do anymore.
I’m like 85% of the way there, it’s just that last 15%. And fuck you for what you did and what you clearly will continue to do.
I can’t wait till I can find whoever I’m meant for. Because I deserve so much better. And I can’t wait till I’m in a place where I can maybe attempt to find that love that I deserve. Because right now I’ve got no time and I’m too fucked up to trust anyone anyway. But I hope I can find someone that shows me it’s ok to trust them, because they’ll actually be there.
I’m manifesting it : WORLD SEND ME THE PERSON I DESERVE NOW PLEASE; thank you. 🙏
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re: rugby team ghoap
it'd been a one-off, seize-the-moment kind of thing. casual hookups aren't really for you, plus you distinctly remember your ex prating on about how the team would only be here for the weekend hence the absolute burning need to go, and you've got work monday.
goodbye, great knowing them. you'd traipsed out of the hotel room with your sneakers in hand, soap's used jersey in the other- a memento of sorts, a trophy. mild serial killer behavior but you reckon since you just became another pearl in their long string of conquests, the least you could do is take something with you that won't be gone with a warm epsom salt bath and a couple of days rest.
("would ye believe yer the prettiest we've ever brought back with us?" right. you know where you stand on that scale, and people like you don't typically pull men like them. another cringe-worthy comment like that and you'd mistake their interest with pity.)
you'd put both jerseys in the wash later that day, and the rattling of your washing machine marked the end of your exciting weekend.
or so you'd thought. from your side of things, you'd wiped your hands clean of their sweat, spit and come and went home, once again falling back into semi-familiarity, expecting to go to work feeling completely relaxed and loose, in more ways than one, while ignoring the photos taken of you and the "star players" at the stadium on social media.
(no one caught your face, what bloody luck.)
when you see them again, it's by pure chance. you'd been ordering a sandwich at a deli down the street, hand already reaching for your wallet when an arm curls around your shoulders, dark, coarse hair of a forearm brushing against your cheek.
cedarwood and citrus. it clings to your senses— a sharp, tangy reminder of that time you'd only look back on when the familiar pang of want pooled searing hot between your legs. small world, you suppose.
"didnae leave a note. stole my jersey. 'm surprised ye didnae leave us money on the table, bonnie." warmth flared beneath your cheeks but you didn't cow to his crude joke.
"i suppose i could've left a tip. what do you want?"
the playful lines around his eyes smoothed as his lips straightened into a firm line, his eyes frostbitten. you ignore the way his touch makes you feel trapped, tethered, a cage made of velvet.
"took my shirt and then didn't show up to a single game after tha'. jus' gettin' wha' i'm owed. unless he's yer favorite."
how can he be your favorite when you know nothing about the sport they play and have no interest in knowing?
"too bad. we come as a package. get yer food, we've a place nearby."
(simon had been nowhere near as good-natured as johnny had about you leaving without a word. made you spit out apologies with swollen lips, only accepted the ones that came with a fluttering of your raw pussy around the splitting thickness of him while soap condescendingly cooed in your ear about lessons having to be learned the hard way.)
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i'm only 14, however i didn't understand this gimmick blog last year, since i hadn't learned about it in school.
i bring great news, i have been enlightened bro
i can now enjoy this blog to the fullest extent.
i feel like a fish who had been trapped in a bowl introduced to the splendor that is his home, the ocean
thank you
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Closest match: Hermodice carunculata genome assembly, chromosome: 10
Common name: Bearded Fireworm
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i just think more ya and genre fiction in general should have the balls of mr stroud's bartimaeus trilogy. wrap up your series not just with your young mc dead as a doornail but he's also: unforgiven for his crimes as an agent of empire; his death saves lives but does not itself end any oppressive systems (spirit summoning OR the terrestrial british empire); and frankly there's very little indication that either of those systems will get any better post-canon whatsoever! the british proletariat has thrown off their chains, but it's not looking likely that they'll do the same for the colonies! kitty may try to proselytize about human-spirit relations, but she's one woman against the world! i just don't think her chances are great! nathaniel's death saved a lot of people who will never thank him for it and exactly two people who would (edit: BUT CAN'T! BECAUSE HE'S DEAD!). it improves nothing about the world, just gives it the slim chance, in other hands, of some unlikely day getting a smidgen better. his morals are so totally absent by mid-book 3 that the major emotional revelation he comes to, building up across three books, the climax of his personal arc, is "oh fuck other people are also people too." he was fully unaware of that one prior. great fucking series. cry every time
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