#it’s gunna take a lot to convince me to date anyone though so
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Why do I still wish you would care? Why do I still wish you wanted me even though I no longer want you?
Maybe I’m just still mad about what we could have had. Maybe I’m mad we built up this idea of this life and you couldn’t even commit to it. And now you’re off having crushes on people and telling me about your feelings about them, already trying to move on to another potential future with another person you won’t commit to. And even knowing that it won’t last it still hurts and I hate that it still hurts.
I wanna not give a single fuck about what you do anymore.
I’m like 85% of the way there, it’s just that last 15%. And fuck you for what you did and what you clearly will continue to do.
I can’t wait till I can find whoever I’m meant for. Because I deserve so much better. And I can’t wait till I’m in a place where I can maybe attempt to find that love that I deserve. Because right now I’ve got no time and I’m too fucked up to trust anyone anyway. But I hope I can find someone that shows me it’s ok to trust them, because they’ll actually be there.
I’m manifesting it : WORLD SEND ME THE PERSON I DESERVE NOW PLEASE; thank you. 🙏
#personal#I need to find love#real love#but like when I’m ready to accept it#unless life wanna suprise me then I guess whatever#it’s gunna take a lot to convince me to date anyone though so#good luck world#lgbtqplus#pansexual#also fuck my ex#can’t wait till I’m over him so I can move the fuck on#at least I do it properly and don’t get with anyone till I’m over the last one
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Body Swap
The first part was done as part of kinktober, but I couldn’t let the idea go. There’s probably a bit more sex than a standard story as a result.
Pairings scenes in order: Kedgeup, Edgepuff(Fontcest), Kustard (Fellcest), Fellcest, Kustard
Warnings: It was written during kinktober, half the scenes are a little kinky.
Words: 16k
Sans came to flat on his back. His vision was hazy, but he could vaguely make out the shape of Alphys above him. She had a pretty serious look on her face, pointing at him very sternly, and gesturing over to something he couldn’t see.
“E-Edge! I didn’t c-call you here to cause a fight! You could have broken something! You got Sans caught up in this too! Look at him!” She pointed a claw over across the room and Sans turned his head to look.
His eyelights went out.
“Alphys...why is my body over there?” She did a double take, but Sans’s brain had already gone into a panic. His voice hadn’t sounded like his. He whipped himself up to sit and looked at his clothes. Black armor, with a red tattered scarf sweeping around his neck. His gloved hands went to clutch his face, but he even seeing them brought on panic.
“ALPHYS! EXPLAIN THIS INSTANT!” Edge had gotten up and walking menacingly over to her, but his lack of height and Sans’s usual attire dampened it heavily. Sans’s deep voice almost cracked under Edge’s use of it.
“Stop yelling. You’re making me sound as dumb as you.” It was kinda disturbing to watch his own head whip around to glare at him.
“YOU!” His body’s hands gripped at the scarf around his neck. “GET OUT OF THERE! THAT IS MY BODY AND NO ONE BUT I CAN USE IT!”
“Yeah, because I’m super enjoying this right now. Let go of me.” Sans flicked Edge back with a bit of blue magic. At least he still had that. He tipped his head back to glare at Alphys, who was admirably attempting to vanish into the wall. “So...Alphys...w a n t t o e x p l a i n ?”
Edge paced back and forth in front of her, much softer without his heeled boots. Slippers didn’t give him much presence.
“I...I don’t...know?” She hid behind her hands. “I need time to replicate it! Edge broke the machine and I can’t even pretend to fix this until I fix that.”
“AND HOW LONG WILL THAT TAKE?!”
“Let me inspect the damage…” And she vanished leaving them alone.
“YOU COMPLETE PIECE OF SHIT. YOU ARE AN IMBECILE AND-”
“I’M the imbecile? Who fucking lashed out like a little fucking kid and broke the machine that did this to us, because I’m pretty damn sure it wasn’t me asshole.” Sans put a hand on these unusually long legs and stood to his new full height. Damn he looked small. “Red’s gunna lose his mind.”
“PAPYRUS! GOD DAMMIT. WE HAD RESERVATIONS!” Edge shuffled around, fiddling with the hoodie around him.
“Because that matters right now. Who’s going to be a Royal Guard in Underfell tomorrow?” Sans sighed, exasperated and mind working overtime. It’s not like Edge could show up in his body. He���d be dust in minutes, and Edge was useless in the lab even though Sans could do his work in this body.
“YOU OBVIOUSLY. WE’RE NOT TELLING ANYONE ABOUT THIS.”
“Red will when I show up in your body. And then try to convince him it’s not a prank.” Sans pinched his nasal ridge, and Edge instantly stopped pacing.
“Unless I show up in your body.”
“What?” He turned to stare at Edge, his eyes distant and unfocused.
“I could be you. And go home to Red.” Edge had purposely lowered his voice, and it did sound much more like Sans.
“And why would you do that?” Edge’s face went blue.
“Do you not want to go home to Papyrus?” Sans didn’t answer, but did let his mind wander.
He could sweep in as Edge, take his brother out to dinner, have a good evening. They’d go back home and be comfy on the couch, cuddled up under a blanket in their home, and maybe Paps would turn his face up to look at him. All leaned against him, face bright orange and wanting...
“WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN MIND?”
-------------------------
In the end, Alphys gave them a week. A few days to fix the machine, and another few to match the previous conditions. Edge and Sans agreed to return in a week, told Alphys to keep this quiet, and walked out. After an hour or so, they met at Waterfall, in the quiet bench area.
“THIS PLAN IS PRETTY SHITTY.”
“You just need to put in more effort. I’m dying in this despicable hoodie, but I’m making it work.” Edge attempted to casually slouch, making a more lax face. The casual grin looked so off it was giving Sans anxiety.
“WELL, THEN ALL I NEED TO DO IS TALK ABOUT HOW GRAND AND TERRIBLE I AM. LET ME KEEP YELLING.” Sans was grateful this body was used to this. His voice would’ve been gone instantly. He glared at Edge, standing up straight and marvelling at the lack of pain. “THIS RUSE IS MISSING SOMETHING.”
“And what would that be, edgelord?” Edge winked. He chuckled and put on a pretty convincing contented grin.
“ARE YOU THIS INSUFFERABLE IN BED TOO?” Sans smirked at the flash of indignation.
“I don’t think that’s your business.”
“I’M SURE PAPYRUS WILL NOTICE IF I’M NOT AS ATTENTIVE AS USUAL. RED WILL NOTICE IF YOU TRY TOO FUCKING HARD.”
“...you could have a point. Maybe.” Edge looked unimpressed. “So how do you think we should share techniques?” He shrugged stiffly. “It’s not like it matters. One oddly active or lazy night shouldn’t be too off.”
“I DON’T MAKE A LOT OF NOISE.” Sans reached over, and quickly pulled Edge to him. His hand went directly into his own shirt. He grabbed his lowest rib, dragged the unusually long fingers two bones up, and scratched hard along the length of it.
“AHHHH!” Edge went bright blue. “THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?!”
“IF YOU BREAK CHARACTER THIS EASILY, THIS WON’T WORK.” Sans went for another spot, stroking under the sternum. “I DON’T SCREAM LIKE THAT. I DON’T MAKE MUCH NOISE AT ALL.”
Edge fought against the urge to moan, biting down and growling. “I just needed a little warning.” He spun around and cupped Sans crotch. “You’ll struggle with Paps then. He likes vocals.” Edge pulled the pants down a way. He hooked some fingers into his pelvis.
“AHH. YOU’RE JUST NOT THAT EXCITING BASTARD.” And Sans watched him drop to his knees.
“Think of Paps then.” Sans felt Edge’s breath against his bare pelvis. “He makes the best sounds when I eat out his sweet pussy.” Sans eyelights blipped out the same time Edge pressed a tongue flat against his pelvis.
“FUUUUUUCK.”
“Language.” Sans glared down at his crotch, but Edge winked and licked up his forming magic.
“YOU’RE PRETTY GOOD AAAAAAAT THIS.” He trailed a hand over Edge’s (his own?) cheek. “I THINK I UNDERSTAND. BUT RED’S GOT A DIFFERENT THING HE WANTS TO HEAR.” Sans pulled Edge up, and into his lap on the nearby bench. He positioned Edge to straddle him and ground up with a purpose.
“Do you…top or bottom?” Edge held in the sound before continuing. “Paps and m-me switch it up sometimes, but I lead mostly.”
“WE’RE LAZY. IT’S WHATEVER EACH TIME, BUT SHUT UP AND PAY ATTENTION.” Sans gripped Edge’s hips and really rubbed their bones together. Edge hazed out a second, but tried to focus on the words coming out of his old mouth. “YOU’RE SO BEAUTIFUL LIKE THIS.” Sans leaned in to lap at the collarbone he could reach through the shirt.
“Narcissist.” Sans ignored him.
“YOU’RE SO GOOD TO ME. SO GOOD FOR ME.” The words were spoken against his throat. Edge wanted to scoff, but he held it in with everything else. “I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU.”
“He wants overly fluffy nonsense?” The lack of warmth startled him. The intensity of Sans’s glare almost knocked him over.
“YOU BETTER TREAT HIM LIKE HE’S AS GREAT AS ME, LAZY BASTARD. IT’S NOT THAT FUCKING HARD.” A hand gripped the back of his head to guide his eyes. “NOW, LET ME PULL DOWN YOUR FUCKING PANTS AND GET THIS OVER WITH.”
“Who said you’re fucking me, asshole?” Edge also didn’t stop him from pulling his pants down enough so they could fuck almost fully clothed on this bench. Thank god for neither being prone to summoning an ecto body. Fingers roughly crooked inside him.
“THIS PUSSY YOU SUMMONED.” Sans moved him a little cautiously, he didn’t want to make it wholly unenjoyable, but Edge was the last person he’d have chosen to do this with and he wasn’t feeling particularly giving. After some minimal fingering, he lined them up and dropped him.
“MMm!” Edge struggled but wiggled his hips until the ache dulled down. Sans may be smirking at him, but two could play this game.
“How’s your endurance?” Edge started a positively delicious pace, very quickly moving on the cock impaling him. He breathed through the pleasure, keeping him behind where Sans was, hopefully. The grip on his hips suggested success.
“F-FINE. YOURS COULD USE SOME WORK THOUGH.”
“Wha-” A hand slid between his fold, stroking his clit in time with the thrusts. Edge devolved to soft breathy moans. He looked up at his own face and the look he shared with Sans got to be too much.
“FUCK!” They both peaked within 15 seconds of each other, riding it out until they slowed down to lay against each other and the bench, exhausted and filthy.
“I think...we can handle it.”
“AGREED.”
It took them another five minutes to part, another three to tidy up and check on the plan specifics, and one extra to take one glance back before walking off in opposite directions of their homes. To their unsuspecting brothers’ waiting arms.
----------------------------------
Sans strode confidently through Hotlands towards the city. Being in Edge’s body granted him access to Papyrus, but it meant trying to emulate the taller skeleton, and Sans had a hard time doing so. Confidence didn’t come to him naturally. More accurately, his brain was choosy about when to give it to him. The luxury of choice was gone; he had to fake it for his life and continued ability to look his brother in the eye.
The boots had taken precious time to master, and Sans still had to walk in a particular manner to keep himself from stumbling.
Edge had told him about the reservations at the restaurant, explaining it was a semi-regular date night (not a proposal, and Edge had glared and said he’d sooner propose in Sans’s body than give that up) so to act casual. He’d briskly walked in, slightly late, considering the circumstances, but his face lit up seeing Paps.
“Do you have a reservation sir?” Sans caught his casual answer at the last second.
“ACTUALLY, I’M WITH THAT HANDSOME SKELETON OVER THERE, THANK YOU.” Papyrus waved him over, face orange and adorable. Here we go.
“HELLO EDGE! YOU’RE LATE AND I WAS WORRIED. DID SOMETHING HAPPEN AT WORK?” Papyrus tilted his head. Time to test his impressions.
“UNFORTUNATELY. I HAD A...DISAGREEMENT WITH YOUR BROTHER, AND IT RESULTED IN A BROKEN MACHINE. I MOVED SOME HEAVY PIECES FOR ALPHYS AS IT WAS MY FAULT.” Sans reached out and held Papyrus’s hand. “I APOLOGIZE. I SHOULD HAVE INFORMED YOU.” Sans’s brain winced, hoping that adding more words and dropping contractions would work well enough. The only reason he had any clue at all was from knowing Papyrus.
Sans’s advantage over Edge was that he knew his brother very well by now. After the timeline convergence, Papyrus had taken him aside to talk to him. He was worried by Sans’s low energy and depressive tendencies he saw in many other skeletons, and felt that not addressing them directly was contributing. He didn’t know what the older brothers had seen, but it clearly affected him and he shouldn’t have to shoulder this alone.
It had shocked Sans, revealing that as much as he watched his brother, his brother watched right back. And when they talked, really talked, Sans had seen him in a much more accurate light, Papyrus expressing something similar.
They were far more open now, though Sans wouldn’t deny that this unconventional opportunity did tempt him into keeping one more big secret.
“I WISH YOU WOULDN’T FIGHT WITH HIM SO MUCH. HE DOES MEAN WELL.” He clasped Sans’s gloved hand back. “I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU HAVE SO MANY ARGUMENTS. HE USUALLY DOESN’T ENGAGE IN THAT KIND OF THING.” Sans held in a laugh. Edge reminded him of Papyrus, if he had been a brat his whole childhood instead of the coolest little brother ever. He didn’t understand how Red tolerated it, encouraged it, but he respected his boyfriend’s choices.
He mentally winced. He really hoped Red didn’t catch on.
“MAYBE I JUST HIT A PARTICULAR NERVE.” That was an understatement. He drove those thoughts away, he had a goal to accomplish. He smiled warmly at his brother, hoping Edge treated him at least this well. “BUT ENOUGH ABOUT MY DAY. PLEASE, TELL ME ABOUT YOURS.”
-----------------
Edge shuffled through the front door of Sans’s house. Red’s shoes were by the door, but otherwise he was still fully dressed on the couch. He slipped off the slippers, and had to think out his approach before he reached Red. He settled on flopping next to him, falling half a foot sideways to lean on his brother. Then he looked up with a wink.
“Hey.” That sounded very Sans-like, like his brother but more judgey. Red put an arm around him.
“Hey yourself cutie. Get into a fight with my bro again?” Red leaned into him too. It was a cosy couch cuddle puddle. Edge tried to keep himself loose and focus on the comfort.
“Yeah. Tried not to. Know you don’t really like it, but something about him just gets under my skin.” Edge smiled at Red’s laugh. He rarely was this open with him.
Red had been the tough front of the two up until Edge got old enough to defend himself. Red always held him at arm’s length, not able to really act unguarded around ‘Boss’ for what felt like centuries. It didn’t help that Edge berated him for his non-murdering tendencies and his withdrawn demeanor. The few memories he had of Red laughing this easily near him were heavily split: a few blurry edged ones from childhood and a few in public gatherings after the convergence.
“I appreciate the effort but I know he’s got some rough edges.” Edge laughed, he could do this forever. The weight of this moment almost crushed him. At ease and happy with his brother, cuddled on the couch, it was something his soul desperately craved. It had been a long time since he felt lacking in any way, missing out on an entire half of his brother through stubbornness alone.
Red sensed Edge’s sudden seriousness, turning his head to stare at Sans’s face after the laughter petered out.
“Hey, you okay? I know weirdness is my deal, but I got you if you need it.” Well now he’d gone and fucked it up. He had no idea how to even proceed here. It’s not like their instructions to each other were this specific. Fuck it, he’d respond how HE felt, using Sans’s voice.
“Just realized how much I love you.” Red’s face went scarlet. He started shaking.
“I l-love you t-too…” Edge gently pulled Red forward, clanking their mouths together. Red clutched desperately at Edge’s hoodie. He didn’t deepen the kiss at all, sensing that Red was using this to hide, and when he pulled back, he got the full view.
Red’s face was still bright, eyes watering and clearly overwhelmed. His breathing was a mess, hunching his shoulders to make the hood trim cover more of his face. His hands shook hard along Edge’s (Sans’s) back. His brain traced back to his conversation with Sans earlier. He placed a hand on Red’s cheekbones, swiping away a tear that had managed to fall, guiding him gently to look him in the eyes. He prayed the sweet smile didn’t look wrong on this face.
“You’re so beautiful.” Red hiccuped and sniffled.
“Shut up…” He climbed into Edge’s lap, legs both off to one side, seated there and hiding his face in Sans’s hoodie. He wrapped his arms around his older brother.
“If you say so sweetheart.” Edge tilted his head forward, resting at the top of Red’s head. He rested against his shivering brother and felt his eyes start to droop. Maybe Sans’s body was accustomed to it; his soul pulsed happily at the idea of a nap. Edge hadn’t napped in years, but holding Red so close at true peace, he thought that perhaps, just for once, that Sans had it figured out and drifted off.
-------------
Sans and Papyrus had made it home after a very successful date. They had fun, Sans had kept character without straight lying, and holding his brother’s hand as they walked home made him feel happy and light. Papyrus’s happy humming suggested the feeling was mutual.
Their home ritual was neat and organized. They lined up their boots by the door, washing up and changing into pajamas in synchronized harmony. Sans did mess up one drawer pull, but their crazy ordered home was easy to follow.
“EDGE, I DID WANT TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.” Papyrus had been settled on the bed, after a brief hour of TV, and it seemed they were winding down to bed.
“WHAT TROUBLES YOU PAPYRUS? I AM HERE FOR YOU.” Sans tilted his head. He had to fight down his worried face. Edge wasn’t much for worry.
“IT’S NOT SO MUCH TROUBLE AS IT IS A REQUEST.” Papyrus turned to face him, kneeling on the bed. “I KNOW WE’VE DISCUSSED THIS A FEW TIMES NOW, BUT I ALSO KNOW YOU’VE PROMISED TO THINK ON IT AND I WANT TO REVISIT IT.”
Well, that could be a problem. Leave it to Edge to give him this conversation, even if on accident.
“I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT MANY THINGS, SO I NEED A LITTLE NARROWING DOWN.” Sans turned to face Papyrus as well, but did reach out and hold his hands. “I WANT TO BE ON THE SAME PAGE.”
“IT’S THE SAME CONVERSATION WE KEEP HAVING. I DON’T WANT YOU TO THINK I’M BEGGING, IT TRULY IS ONLY SOMETHING I WANT IF YOU WANT IT AS WELL, BUT I DO WANT TO DO SO, AND TO PRETEND I DON’T WANT THIS FEELS AKIN TO LYING.” Papyrus tightened their hands, knocking them together nervously. Sans ran his thumbs over the worried hands. He had no idea what conversation Edge was having, but he knew Edge hadn’t objected to marrying his brother, so anything else couldn’t be that big of a leap.
“I WANT TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. I AM HESITANT, BUT I AM WILLING TO DO THIS FOR YOU. YOU WILL HAVE TO LEAD ME THROUGH THIS THOUGH.”
Papyrus lit up with a wide bright smile. He didn’t know what he agreed to, but it seemed to have made his brother very happy.
“REALLY?! THANK YOU!” Papyrus leaned in for a brief kiss and stood directly off the bed. “WAIT HERE, I WILL RETURN WITH THE SUPPLIES!” He walked with a bounce in his steps straight out the bedroom door.
Supplies?
Papyrus walked back in with a long stretch of silken rope. He was bright orange, but obviously excited at the prospect of tying Edge up. Sans tried to hide his relaxation, Edge would be nervous right now to try something Papyrus had been talking him into for a while now, but Sans knew he’d be able to handle a little bondage. Hell, he’d even get to be lazy.
“WILL YOU BE JUST RESTRAINING MY ARMS?” Sans sat up ramrod straight, a little awkward in his forced nervousness. Papyrus pulled it taut.
“I WILL DECIDE THAT.” He averted his eyes, blushing, but turned back to stare at Sans’s (Edge’s) face, suddenly stern. “REMOVE YOUR CLOTHES...PLEASE.”
This was so precious. He dutifully undressed, refolding the clothes to almost the crisp lines he had found them in and set them on the dresser by the wall. He returned to the bedside to await further instruction. Papyrus pointed to the bed.
“LAY BACK ON THE BED. DO NOT RESIST ME.” Sans laid back, letting Papyrus take his arms and tie each one to the corner bed post. He tested the give when Papyrus had finished knotting them up. A quick little tug didn’t have them come loose, and he had enough wiggle room to keep from being uncomfortable. He had done some research.
“I HAVE DONE AS YOU ASKED. WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW?” Sans stared over at him, Papyrus himself getting undressed much the same way Sans had done earlier.
Papyrus had long smooth bones the entire way up, a cute gangly frame that was cute before, but very attractive right now, doused in the light from the bedside lamp. His soul pulsed in fondness, his bones turning red thinking about what Papyrus had planned.
“WAIT PATIENTLY.”
He used his long fingers to start working himself up while Sans could only watch. He watched him open his mouth in pleasure. Sans felt his own hips buck along with his brother’s, gently tugging the bonds, but refraining from breaking them to keep playing along.
“IF YOU CAN’T BEHAVE, I’LL MAKE YOU WATCH THE WHOLE TIME.” Papyrus tried to look stern, but did it so shyly that it looked funny, but Sans held his tongue.
“I’M SORRY. I WILL...ATTEMPT TO KEEP STILL.” Papyrus looked satisfied. He’d have more confidence the next time he tried this, more able to deal with Edge’s inevitable complaints. He felt a finger trail along his sternum.
“NOW, JUST ENJOY.”
Papyrus spent a long time feeling up and down each of his bones, a slow build of feeling, an ebb and flow of magic that didn’t truly gather. It wasn’t enough to draw out whines, but his breathing did get much harsher. Imitating Edge didn’t come as naturally as he hoped.
Papyrus left him in this state of foreplay for much longer than he thought, he didn’t know his brother to be this patient. He had been slowly working open his own ecto while playing. His patience was starting to wane, in time with the rhythm of Papyrus’s fingers squelching inside himself, with his soft moans.
He must’ve heard his thoughts, because he did start to focus his attention. Sans’s magic summoned instantly, jumping out after the lengthy teasing.
“YOU’VE BEEN QUITE GOOD. I THINK I WILL REWARD YOU.”
Sans licked his lips, watching Papyrus’s dripping ecto hover over his hips. The touch of him against his cock felt like a holy experience.
“OOOOOOOOH…” He forced the sound a little, not wanting to be silent like he’d be in his own body. He didn’t have to fake the groans from Papyrus starting to settle on the tip, allowing a little bit of slide.
“THANK YOU FOR THIS EDGE. I AM AT MY LIMIT, SO LET’S END THIS TOGETHER.”
“OH MY STARS, PAPYRUS!” Sans barely kept from slamming upwards. His arms ached from the angle, but he’d reached his limit and dug in his elbow for a little more anchorage. He’d been patient long e-fucking-nough.
“EDGE! NYEEEEH!” Papyrus matched his pace, bouncing down right when Sans thrusted up. Everything got hot, body sliding into the downward spiral of pleasure, racing to a finish after hours of foreplay.
They finished breathlessly. Papyrus panted, openmouthed and tongue out, through the aftermath, wet and messy on top of Sans, still tied to the bedposts.
Oh yeah, his arms were feeling the strain now.
“Could...could you untie me?” Sans felt out of it, hoping that Edge didn’t yell constantly because he definitely gave the game away then. So much for berating Edge for his lack of focus.
“OH! SORRY EDGE. ONE MOMENT.” Papyrus made his way up to his wrists, pulled a string, and they fell loose. Sans let his arm collapse. His shoulders would feel that tomorrow. For now, he settled on holding Papyrus close, their warm bones comfortable against each other.
“ARE YOU ALRIGHT?” Papyrus laid against him. “I KNOW THIS WAS TOOK A LOT OF TRUST FROM YOU, BUT YOU WERE MUCH QUIETER THAN USUAL.” Sans tried to hide his nervousness, but they were too close to hide it completely.
“I WAS UNSURE OF HOW TO FEEL FOR A TIME.” Sans sighed. He hated lying to Papyrus, especially after the evening they’d had. “I...STILL PREFER BEING IN CONTROL OF MY BODY, BUT I DID ENJOY TONIGHT. I’M GLAD YOU HAD A GREAT TIME.” He held them close together, but after a short while, Papyrus pulled him up off the bed.
Apparently, Edge and Papyrus always showered and slept in pajamas every night. Felt unnecessary, though getting under the covers with P made it all feel worth the effort.
“GOODNIGHT EDGE. I LOVE YOU.” His heart melted when he held his hand as he fell asleep.
“I LOVE YOU TOO. GOODNIGHT PAPYRUS.” Yeah, definitely worth it.
---------
Edge woke up to a loud commercial on the TV. His arms and legs ached and he found he couldn’t really move them. When he looked down, it came back.
Red had fallen asleep cuddled against him. He frowned in his sleep, but kissing his head repeatedly relaxed him. It also started waking him up. He kept it up anyway. Edge had precious little time with this opportunity.
He didn’t expect the hand that swooped up and pulled his face down into Red’s.
Red kissed him softly, lapping at Edge’s (Sans’s) teeth. Edge let him in without hesitation. He’d usually try to dominate this kind of kiss, but the mood was wrong. Everything was soft, exploratory. It lit his soul up in all the right ways, just sensually stroking the tongue in his mouth with his own, and when Red had his fill, doing the same to Red.
“Evenin’.” Red whispered up to him when they parted. It felt like hours.
“My nap was contagious.” Edge kept softly clanking Red’s face, over and over, like they couldn’t be completely parted. Red slid his hands under Sans’s hoodie, and casually ran his hands over his body over the shirt.
“Sleeping with you is the best. Offer I couldn’t refuse.” Red yawned, still coming to.
“Could say the same about sleeping with you.” Edge smiled at his brother’s soft chuckle, breath hitching when Edge turned Red’s body to sit facing him on his lap. The kissing still hadn’t stopped, Edge’s mind lost in the mood. The living room was darker, shadows creeping in all the corners besides the soft light of the TV and the kitchen.
“I-I need you Sansy.” Red clung to him like a lifeline, pulling back to see ‘Sansy’s’ answer.
“Then ya got me.” Edge tilted Red’s head up and to the side so he could get at his neck. He nipped and sucked up and down what he could get at around the t-shirt. Then he slid his hands down Red’s arms, one in each sleeve, taking his brother’s infamous hoodie with it. By the time it fell off, Edge held both of his brother’s hands in his own. Red shivered and whined in his grasp. He pulled back to look at his handy work.
Red’s eyelights were blown wide, big red pupils making him look so much younger than he was. He looked fragile enough to be broken by a single word.
“Gorgeous.”
Red surged down to kiss him again. This kiss was more aggressive, Red wanted to be led to what he needed. Had his brother always been this sensitive? He’d always thought Red was weak, in mind if not in magic, but not like this. Calling him gorgeous did this, and calling him beautiful had made him cry. Did he rarely receive compliments? When was the last time Edge complimented him, outside of Sans’s body? He couldn’t recall.
“I love you, I love you so much.” Edge just wanted to keep talking, to see what put Red into those happy loving hysterics. He shed his (Sans’s) hoodie and removed Red’s shirt. He flexed his hips upwards, Red scrunching his eyes shut and grinding back. “Can I get a ride to bed?” Edge worked off his shirt, tossing it when the scenery changed. The unkempt bed didn’t even phase him.
“Too lazy to take us yourself?” Red kissed him fondly.
“Just like the feeling of your magic on me.” He’d barely remembered to keep his voice at Sans volume. He closed his eyes and focused on the task at hand. Red would be very upset if Edge slipped up. He explored Red’s entire rib cage under the guise of cherishing every inch of him (though he was appreciating him more and more by the second), but more particularly to get the spots that’d drive him wild that Sans would know by heart.
“Sansy...I still need it.” Red ground his hips down, and the conjured ecto under their clothes grinded up against each other. “Stop bein’ a tease.” He hid his shyness under bluster, but Edge didn’t give in.
“Maybe I just wanna admire you.” He traced one hand over old scars, the other to the inner spinal column. Red arched under the touch.
“Sto-op. You don’t gotta make up things to get me to f-fuck ya. Laying it on too thick pal.” Red blushed and turned away, pulling at his and Edge’s pants. The shorts tugged the boxers with them. His dick barely grazed Red’s pelvis before he felt his body move on its own.
Edge flipped them over. He lined them up and casually slid up and down his slick folds.
“Liar, you want it thicker.” Edge leaned down, tracing the scars he memorized and put his face right by Red’s neck. “All these scars, so many things that have tried to kill you…” Up and down, up and down. His hot breath tingled up Red’s spine. “You’ve lived through it all. You’re so strong love. Nothing compares.”
Red cried and hiccupped, keening when Edge finally slid inside.
“Saaaans.” Red whined into the thrusts, Edge peppered his face in kisses.
His mind was so far away. He loved Papyrus with his whole soul, but this intensity gave him pause. Did he love them both this way? Was he just caught up in the moment? Possibly both. How much he wanted this earlier today seemed confusing now. He must’ve been carrying this around a long time.
“Red, tell me that you love me.” Red fisted the sheets, staring into Edge’s eyes, completely overwhelmed.
“I love you.” He pumped in and out, forcing Red to follow him up towards the peak.
“Again.”
“I love you.”
“Again.”
“I love you!”
“Red.”
And he snapped to attention, orgasm building like a wave, seconds away from crashing over him. He stared into ‘Sans’s’ eyes and could see how badly he needed to hear this, for the words to reach him. Edge held on solely through force of will, waiting, waiting for Red to make him feel complete.
Red put his trembling hands on his (Sans’s) face. He peered into his very soul.
“I love you.”
The tidal wave crashed over both of them. Red moaned loudly, breath leaving him. Edge struggled to stay upright. He had to stomp on the urge to scream. The tide didn’t roll back until both were on the verge of collapse.
Red sported bright red tear tracks down his face. He felt emotional spent, along with physically. Edge (Sans) had collapsed on his side, shaking worse than Red had early on, clinging to Red as he himself had done to Edge not long ago. Red pulled him close and cradled his head against his ribs.
“You know you always have me, right?” Edge’s hands held fast onto his back ribs.
“Yeah. I just...needed to hear it.” A memory of the two of them huddled in the trash of Waterfall, scrounging for anything to get them through the week, when they were attacked. Red had fought them off, snarling after them while Edge cried in the background, a big gash on his face that had hurt so much.
“You’re gunna be okay, bro. I got you.” He had healed him, magic smoothing over the bone. He wiped up the blood afterwards. Edge had run right into his arms.
“THANK YOU. I LOVE YOU!” Red hugged him back, Edge still short enough to be fully encompassed in his arms.
“No, I love you.” Red kissed his little forehead. Edge insisted on sleeping near him that night.
“Let’s get some sleep.” Red pulled the sheets up over them, holding Edge while he just nodded against his bones. This was confusing, overwhelming. He didn’t have the ability to deal with this and be Sans. He got more comfortable, making sure Red could also easily drift off, and closed his eyes. Red held him close until he completely drifted away.
--------
Red woke up when he felt Sans shift awake. He instinctively tightened his hold, but relaxed when he heard the small groan of complaint at being smushed. He released Sans.
“Sorry.” Red mumbled. He flipped over onto his back. “You’re comfy.”
“IT’S…” Sans coughed, roughly and violently. “It’s alright. I’d rather be home with you too.” He took a deep breath, his chest rattling oddly. “Unfortunately, I doubt Alphys would be wild about it.” Sans pushed off the bed, shuffling towards the bathroom. Red closed his eyes. The footsteps stopped and came back.
Sans kissed him chastely on the cheek.
Red opened his eyes. Sans’s grin was pretty dopey, although...his eyes were more open than usual.
“And good morning.” Red could feel the blush creeping up his bones, smiling at his retreating form. The temptation to join him in the shower was high. But no, he wanted a little time alone to really think on the events of the evening.
Sans had been really really lovey yesterday. Not that he didn’t dole out compliments usually, but he’d been obsessed with making Red feel special and loved. His soul warmed up at the memory, but his mind could find cracks in the hearth. The best word would be...possessed? If so, this demon resembled Sans heavily, hitting all the right notes and beats, but something forced in the fluidity. Red was a naturally suspicious person, and last night, especially the end of it, hit every paranoia button he had.
Sans walked back in, heading to the dresser.
And opened the wrong drawer, multiple times.
Sans tried to play it off as being tired, and Red pretended to accept it. What the fuck was going on? Red hoped he was as good at convincing lies as he remembered (even if he felt guilty doing it to Sans), and decided to make a mental list of the things that didn’t work.
By the time Sans was leaving for work (HE WAS WALKING?!), Red’s list had gotten entirely too long to be a coincidence. So, with a significant amount of guilt, he slid into his sneakers and followed him.
Sans’s walk surprised lots of people. People waved and said hello, all ‘oh hey Sans! Been a minute!’ also not used to this. So he didn’t teleport to the walk usually then. The path was pretty direct, no silly detours, purposeful trips, just walking like he had no fucking other way to travel. And THEN, right before he made it to work, he walked purposely away towards a Hotlands alley, walking right in like it wasn’t a weird thing to do. Red took a shortcut to the top of the buildings surrounding the alley to keep up and almost fell off the fucking roof when he saw Sans meeting up with his brother.
Seriously, what the fuck?!
“I’m surprised you were able to successfully put my armor on this morning.” Sans sized up Edge, crossing his arms. “I hope you made up a decent enough excuse for Papyrus about being late.”
“YEAH. WASN’T TOO BAD, TOOK A SHORTCUT TO MAKE UP MOST OF THE TIME.” Edge’s arms hung weirdly at his side. Since...since when could his brother shortcut?
“HOW?! You can do that in MY body?!” Sans stomped his slipper down on the ground. “I tried to do that and it didn’t work!”
“It’s about knowing the way it works. Understanding the way space, time, and magical potency affect movement and I kept that when I...Wait.” Edge suddenly looked straight at Sans. “You walked here.” Listening to Edge drop his voice to something less loud, Red started to put together some pieces here.
“WHAT WAS MY ALTERNATIVE?! FLY?!” Sans never screeched like that. His...brother...did… His brother whose hands awkwardly hung as if they were usually sitting in…
Hoodie Pockets.
“Fuck.” Edge’s body looked up at him, spying him instantly from the alleyway. Sans would know exactly where to fucking look. “Red.” Sans’s body spun to look where Sans was looking. Sans was in his brother’s body. His brother was in Sans’s body. And of course Edge didn’t know what drawer Sans kept his clothes in, how to shortcut, or slouch in a way that didn’t look painful.
I love you. Red eyes shrank to pinpricks, frozen looking at the two in the alley. His brother had fucked him last night, and Sans LET him.
“Red, are you-”
“Don’t you FUCKING touch me!” Red slapped the red gloved hand away from him. And before he could be spoken to again, he zipped away, thrown at the foot of the school, right in view of Papyrus. He couldn’t breathe and everything felt too restricting. He looked up at Papyrus, desperately reaching to grab his hand.
“RED, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?” He reached for Red’s hand back, and when he reached it, Red felt the whirl of magic behind him. Of course Sans would follow. Red wouldn’t let him.
“RED COME BA-” They were gone.
Papyrus pulled his hand away.
“RED, WHY WERE YOU RUNNING FROM EDGE AND WHERE ARE WE?” He sounded confused and Red envied this moment before he knew. Red glanced around.
His brain had shortcut him to the dusty remains of the machine at Sans’s place. Sans would never think to look here, and it sat at the edge of his shortcut range normally. Two people were a magical strain, but desperation did some incredible things. He put the disturbing thoughts as far out of his mind as he could to get through this conversation first.
“Papyrus, did my brother do anything...odd in the last 24 hours?” Sans had often said that Papyrus and the younger brothers were more observant than they let on, but he knew Edge’s patience was short on a good day. The tall skeleton crossed his arms, thinking hard.
“...NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT...THERE WERE SOME ODDITIES. WHY? DID SOMETHING HAPPEN?”
“Yeah.” How to start, he wondered. “I followed Sans to work today, because he didn’t shortcut himself like usual after a morning of acting really weird.” He paced back and forth, anxiety building. “Then he met up with Boss in an alley, but it was all wrong. He belittled Boss about how to put on his armor, and Boss talked about the shortcut he took to sneak around.”
“WHAT?”
“I think they switched bodies...yesterday, at that work incident thing that made them run late.” Red took a deep breath. “So now that I say that, do you think you were with my brother yesterday, or Sans trying really hard to be him? Because I’m 100% fucking sure it was my brother this morning, and I was with him all night.” Red swallowed hard at that. Not the time.
“I MEAN, I…”Papyrus did look worried. He paced quickly and tapped his foot whenever he stood still. “THAT WOULD EXPLAIN ALMOST EVERY WEIRD THING THAT HAPPENED, YES.” He didn’t look happy about it though. “WHICH MEANS I SAW SANS YESTERDAY ON MY DATE THROUGH NOW, INCLUDING...INCLUDING LAST NIGHT…” There was the look. Red knew it. Papyrus played with his gloves, wringing his hands together.
“Did...you also have sex with your ‘boyfriend?’” Red pulled his hood up over his head. “Because I’m freaking out.”
“I THOUGHT IT WAS ODD THAT EDGE WAS SO VERY WILLING TO TRY SOMETHING WHERE HE GAVE UP CONTROL. SANS...WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS?” Papyrus glanced over Red’s retraction into his hoodie like he wanted to be eaten up by the carpet.
“I don’t know P. All I know is that I had a really private moment with who I thought was my boyfriend, and now my brother just has that. And Sans fucking let him do it. If one of them said no, they couldn’t get away with it. Both of them agreed to not tell us.” Red pulled the hood tighter and tighter over his face to shrink further. “Sorry about pulling you from work. I just needed you to know before they tried to hide it from you.”
Papyrus sat on the floor, leaning against the lab counter. He still didn’t look nearly as wrecked as Red though.
“I DON’T REALLY KNOW HOW TO FEEL.” He finally settled on the words. “ON ONE HAND, I AM UPSET THAT SANS AND EDGE KEPT SOMETHING LIKE THIS FROM ME. I TRUSTED THEM, AND THEY KEPT THIS A SECRET, ESPECIALLY AFTER I’VE SPOKEN TO BOTH OF THEM DIRECTLY ABOUT SECRET-KEEPING.” Papyrus rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “BUT I AM SURPRISINGLY NOT UPSET AT THE OUTCOME.”
“...what?” Red turned to face him. Papyrus turned orange.
“I KNOW HOW THAT SOUNDS. I HAD SEX WITH SANS, UNDER A RUSE, AND THEY BOTH LIED TO ME FOR THAT TO HAPPEN.” He met Red’s gaze head-on. “BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY, I HAD A VERY ENJOYABLE NIGHT WITH HIM.” He hesitantly shrugged. “AND A PART OF ME WISHES TO DO SO AGAIN, BUT WITHOUT LIES.”
“You’re serious.” Red slowly uncovered his bright red face to openly stare slack-jawed at Papyrus. “You’d willingly fuck Sans again? Is that what I’m hearing?” Papyrus averted his gaze.
“I DON’T APPROVE OF THE CRUDENESS, BUT I SUPPOSE IT IS.” He looked at Red. “DO YOU NOT WANT TO HAVE ANOTHER NIGHT WITH EDGE?”
Red jumped up and flung his arms out.
“No! I’m fucking pissed. I don’t even want to have sex with fucking Sans right now, definitely not Edge!” Red stomped around the small room, kicking up dust and debris from the unused room. “They fucking conspired to do this, and they weren’t gunna tell us about it, and Sans had to have given him fucking POINTERS on the best way to fuck me, and...and…” Red dissolved into tears. Papyrus went to touch his shoulder, and Red almost flinched away. He still didn’t ever believe he was truly safe.
“AND?”
“I trusted him.” Red sobbed sadly. “I-I thought it was Sans and I let him in.” He felt empty, ashamed. “If he had asked for anything, right then, I would have given it up. I was so in love and it was a lie.” He wiped off his face. “Those bastards weren’t thinking about anyone but themselves.”
“I’M...SORRY. I DIDN’T REALIZE IT HAD BEEN SO SERIOUS.” Papyrus sighed. “THOUGH KNOWING EDGE BEHAVED THAT WAY HAS MADE ME MORE UPSET WITH HIM.” He stood, and offered Red a hand. Red took it, drooping so hard it looked like he hadn’t gotten up. “SO WHAT DO YOU PROPOSE?”
“I think we should talk to both of them. The fact Sans didn’t try and pull anything that sketchy says a lot.” Red shoved his hands in his pockets. “Doesn’t change the fact that I’m pissed. But it’s leaning sixty-forty towards Edge.” Papyrus hesitantly laid a hand on Red’s head.
“AGREED. BUT THAT DOES REQUIRE BEING HOME, ACTUALLY HOME.” He glanced around the dusty room attached to his old one. “CAN YOU RETURN US TO YOUR HOUSE? I FEEL SANS WOULD TAKE THEM THERE.”
“Alright.” Red closed his eyes, pooling all the excess magic he could find, and sent them home.
---------------------
“I have no idea where they are. I checked every spot we’ve come up with, and nothing.” Sans sat on his couch, much less comfy in the lanky frame. Nothing about the outfit was nice to wear.
“RED CAN BE VERY CRAFTY WHEN PUSHED.” Edge had his head in his hands. He’d gotten them caught, though part of it wasn’t his fault, but he really should’ve noticed a tail. “THEY WON’T RETURN UNTIL HE WANTS TO BE BACK.”
“I’m gunna be sentenced to the couch for life.” Sans sighed. “I really shouldn’t have let you tempt me into this.”
“So it was Edge’s idea then.” Red announced their presence loudly. “That makes sense.” He glared right at Sans’s body, Edge shrinking under the look. Red was furious. He hadn’t said this name to his face ever.
“I did agree to it though.” Sans stood up, not hiding behind the different face. He moved to sit on the floor in front of Red, mostly to put them back at eye to eye. He didn’t want to come off intimidating right now. “Shoulda stuck to my senses.”
“MY BIGGER CONCERN IS THE WHY RATHER THAN WHO. WHY WOULD YOU HIDE THE SWITCH?” Papyrus looked around Sans on the floor to Edge, still on the couch. Seeing him in Sans’s body brought back memories of conversations about secrets being kept long ago. But once again, Sans answered.
“It just seemed...fun. I had a unique opportunity to see more of you, and I took it. It’s not like I was looking to replace what I had.” He looked at Red. “Can’t blame you for being pissed, but know I wasn’t trying to find greener pastures.” He looked appropriately guilty, but Red hadn’t even reacted. He didn’t care about Sans’s answer.
“Did you sleep with Edge?” Red growled out. Papyrus whipped his head over for that one, and then confusingly looked between the two. Sans looked shocked but then shameful.
“Yes.” Edge looked like he wanted to complain, but Sans wasn’t interested in lessening the ire with half-truths. “We knew where we wanted this to go. We gave each other tips, verbally and physically.”
Edge’s face scrunched up at the phrasing; it’s like Sans wanted this to come off terrible from the start. Papyrus was sending over strange glances, Edge kept himself away from them. He probably should’ve been more attentive. He felt a hand roughly grab under his chin, forcing him to look at Red’s furious face.
“Did he tell you to sweet talk me Papyrus?” Edge’s soul plummeted, suddenly much more personal than his convergence name. “Tell me how fucking gorgeous I was and I’d just be putty in your fucking hands?” Sans was watching, but contributed nothing. “But you know, ya just had to take it and run away with the idea, huh? Compliment the scars, call me a survivor, say I’m strong. Did you just enjoy working me up or did ya like the idea of me fallin for you so goddamn completely that you couldn’t fucking stop yourself?” Edge didn’t even know where to start, but Red still wasn’t done. He felt pressure along his jaw where the hand gripped him. “And don’t you dare fucking lie to me Papyrus!”
Edge couldn’t tear his eyes away from Red’s. He was pinned to the spot, scrambling to find the right words. His boyfriend was a few feet away, and he didn’t want to leave him, he wanted to return to the before, before he could feel this thing living in his chest that he didn’t realize had been dying there for a long time.
“I-” Edge couldn’t stop the words. “I THOUGHT I WANTED FUN, BUT I...I DON’T KNOW ANYMORE.” Tears welled in his eyes. He hadn’t cried in front of anyone in years, his brother the only one to see him this way until now. “I LOVE PAPYRUS! I WANT TO SPEND MY LIFE WITH HIM.” He grabbed at his chest. “BUT THE IDEA OF LIVING WITHOUT YOU HURTS. NOT KNOWING YOU HURTS. EVERYTHING I DID, EVERYTHING I SAID, I DID NOT LIE. ALL I DID WAS WEAR ANOTHER’S FACE.” Red’s panic was setting in, but Edge couldn’t let him not know how he felt. He put his hand over the one holding his face. “I LOVE YOU SANS.”
“...why?” It came out as a whisper, shocked and horrified to hear the words from Edge’s mouth. So much of the night before rushed back to slap Red in the face. His soul ran hot, he pulled his hand free. He backed up until he hit the living room wall. Edge went to follow, but Sans laid a hand on his shoulder.
“SANS-”
“Get out.” Red covered his face with his arm, pointing at the door with his other one. “Take Papyrus and leave my fucking house.”
And the discussion ended, Edge dejectedly following Papyrus out the door, leaving Red and Sans alone.
“I don’t want to even start with you.” Red glared up at Sans, moving to the couch, energy knocked out of him. Sans sat by him, knowing the mood he was going to fall into.
“Then don’t. Use me for what you want.” His voice was scratchy, Edge’s voice not able to hit his deep tone, but he tried to make it less like the person Red was desperate to ignore. Red leaned heavily against him.
“Easy for you to say. You’re wearing his face.” Red sighed harshly. “He...he was never nice to me, not once he got big enough to defend himself. He’d call me weak most mornings, I’d get a daily berating during resets, and he constantly reminded me that I was nothing compared to him.” Sans hummed an acknowledgement, but didn’t want to interrupt. “When he was you, it was constant compliments. He kissed and touched every part of me, I was so relaxed and unguarded. I woulda…” Red let his head hang low.
“Woulda what?” Sans kept himself out of it. He was here for Red right now.
“Sans, I almost offered him my soul.” Red teared up. “If he hadn’t had a little breakdown at the end, I woulda offered it to him, thinking he was you.” He buried his face in the fabric between the black armor. “I’m sorry.”
Sans rubbed Red’s shoulder while he hiccupped and cried. Leave it to Red to be the one who got most hurt by this and then feel bad about something that theoretically could’ve happened that would hurt Sans. It would’ve been devastating to find out that Red had offered that to Edge in place of him (Sans had been steadily earning his trust for years now, which he threw away when he decided to trust Edge of all fucking people), but Sans wouldn’t have the right to be upset at Red about it. And if he had offered, and Edge didn’t take it out of respect for Sans, it still would’ve been awful because Red wouldn’t get over being rejected on that level by someone he loved that deeply.
“You don’t have anything to be sorry about. This whole mess is my fault. If I had said no, it wouldn’t have happened.” Red sniffled.
“Why did you do it Sansy?” Ouch, the nickname hurt.
“I’m hoping this is a once-in-a-lifetime thing, and I wanted to do something with it. Just being selfish.” He yanked the gloves off before pulling Red close. “It feels stupid to even say.”
“Was I not good enough?”
“God, love, no.” He rubbed his back through the hoodie. “You’ve always been more than enough. None of this was about not wanting you Red. I wanted a fun night with Paps and then to come back.” Sans sighed, hoping the tight hug would say it better than he could. “I thought Edge wanted something similar. I didn’t think he’d do something like that to you. I didn’t think he’d hurt you like this.”
Red mumbled something against his armor, but Sans couldn’t hear it.
“I can’t hear you Red.”
“Tell me about your time with P.” Red poked his face out enough to speak.
“Red, you do-”
“Please.” Red hadn’t pushed him away, so he had already forgiven Sans for far too much. He supposed the request wasn’t a high price to pay.
“It was fun. Went on a romantic dinner, went home, and he tied me up. Guess he’d been asking Edge for a while now, but he didn’t want to give up control. I don’t have that problem. Let him do whatever, he roleplayed a little; it was cute.” Sans leaned his head back, height making him hit the wall. Red clutched the side of the plate armor.
“Papyrus said he’d do it again. Even knowing who you are.” Sans stiffened on that one. He hadn’t expected that. “I know the thing with Edge was a means to an end. I’m still mad about it but I get it. But the minute Papyrus said he’d be down to do this again, I’ve got this bad feeling that it’s gunna become a regular thing and I’m gunna be the black fucking rain cloud dragging everyone down.” Red frowned, averting his eyes away from the couch, not wanting to be in Sans’s lap to say this, but needing the comfort.
“Red, it’s not gunna become a regular thing.” Sans shook his head, but Red didn’t look at him.
“It will. The other two will agree to it. And I don’t want to, so I’ll look like the asshole. Just watch.” Red climbed out his lap, and then stared Sans down (up?). “I wanna be left alone until you walk back in here with your face. Go stay with them. They’ll ask, just wait.”
“Red…”Sans reached for him, but Red didn’t budge.
“The fact I’m even letting you come back in your own body is pretty damn forgiving considering you cheated on me twice.” Red growled, and then turned around. “Well, twice for now. Whatever you do with those two idiots in that body is not my goddamn problem.” Then he shortcut away to the bedroom.
Sans hunched his shoulders, but just accepted fate, disappearing without another word.
---------
The walk home was tense, quiet. Papyrus honestly didn’t know where to start, and he didn’t want to air their “dirty laundry” in public, especially with Edge wearing Sans’s face.
His mind circled back to all that time ago, to that long uncomfortable chat with Sans about secret keeping. But he found that wasn’t what his mind wanted to actually focus on. Edge being in Sans’s body just brought back those memories, but the real issue was Edge, his behavior, his actions, their relationship.
They had not gotten along as spectacularly at first. Edge had a tendency to be crude, sometimes cruel, in his actions, and while Papyrus touted he was great, he stopped doing so as much when he was faced with it constantly from the others after the convergence, though Edge remained unfazed long afterwards. He and Papyrus had been put on many of the same patrols, guard posts, and while he didn’t appreciate lectures on language and naivety, he did appreciate perfect magic control.
After a few spars, Edge had invited him to a friendly outing.
One outing had turned to several, and they found a lot in common under the differences. They both were also adept at being upfront. It hadn’t taken long for either of them to admit their feelings for each other.
Papyrus thought they had been doing quite well, following along their plans of obtaining a home, a weekly date plan. At least, until he had admitted how much he loved Red in front of him.
They made it through the front door, but Edge was not the type to run. He turned to face Papyrus the minute they were alone.
“I’M SORRY.” Hearing the loud voice from his brother’s face was startling, but at least he was sure that this hadn’t been some elaborate prank. “I WAS IN THE SAME BOAT AS SANS, THOUGH I WAS THE ONE TO SUGGEST IT. I WANTED A NIGHT, PERHAPS THE WEEK I WAS TO BE STUCK AS SANS, WITH RED AND THEN TO COME HOME. IT WASN’T MEANT TO BE THIS.” Edge wiped at his face, remembering the tears from before. “I STILL WANT TO BE WITH YOU, BUT I WANT RED TO BE PART OF MY FUTURE TOO. I’M SO-!” Edge stomped his foot down.
“I...SURPRISINGLY UNDERSTAND.” Edge wrung his hands, anxious and confused.
“PAPYRUS, YOU ARE ALLOWED TO BE UPSET WITH ME OVER THIS.” Edge stood tall, or he would, if he were in his body. “THIS ISN’T SOME NONSENSE FROM MY WORLD THAT I ASKED YOU TO UNDERSTAND. THIS IS A PROBLEM OF MY SINGULAR CREATION.”
Part of their early arguments had been over Edge’s LV and EXP, but Papyrus had agreed to not bring it up anymore after a long emotional night of reliving Edge’s past.
“I KNOW THAT THESE THINGS ARE NOT THE SAME, BUT I WILL REPEAT TO YOU WHAT I SAID TO RED. I DO NOT MIND THE OUTCOME, BUT THE LIES AND SECRETS ARE BOTH AGAINST DIRECT CONVERSATIONS I’VE HAD WITH BOTH OF YOU.” Papyrus crossed his arms, stern and accusatory. “I UNDERSTAND THAT THE CONVERSATION WOULD HAVE BEEN DIFFICULT, BUT I DO NOT STAND BY DISHONESTY.”
Edge looked down to the floor. The carpet patterns were very interesting today it seemed.
“YOU ARE RIGHT. I WOULD DO THIS DIFFERENTLY IF I HAD THE CHOICE AGAIN.” Edge hugged himself, looking up at his boyfriend. “I DO NOT EXPECT INSTANT FORGIVENESS, BUT IS THIS SOMETHING WE CAN OVERCOME?” If he could work to earn his trust back, he would do so. He loved Papyrus, his spirit, his strength, and his kindness, but he knew that he hadn’t behaved in a manner deserving of such a great datemate.
Papyrus stooped down to hug him.
“OF COURSE WE CAN. THOUGH THIS WILL NOT BE EASY, ESPECIALLY FOR RED. HE AND I DID NOT AGREE ON SUCH EASY FORGIVENESS. I WOULD NOT BE SURPRISED TO FIND SANS AT OUR DOOR WITHIN THE HOUR.” Edge hugged him back as hard as he could.
“I DO NOT DESERVE IT, BUT I AM GRATEFUL FOR THE COMFORT.” Papyrus patted him on the head, backing up to smile.
“I AM HAPPY TO HUG YOU ANYTIME.”
Edge took a steadying breath. That was one conversation out of the way, one relationship mended. The others still needed work though.
As if summoned by their reconciliation and Papyrus’s forewarning, Sans appeared in their living room. His hard face looked correct on Sans for once. He didn’t speak before dropping down onto the sofa, head in his hands while Edge and Papyrus waited patiently. Out of all of them, Sans probably had the worst conversation to have, as Red wouldn’t talk to Edge right now.
“Red told me to stay here. Didn’t want to see me.” Sans sighed, unhappy but unsurprised. “He’s pissed.”
“I...GATHERED.” Papyrus sat beside Sans, figuring he’d be the best at diffusing the situation. “HE MENTIONED AS MUCH BEFORE WE ARRIVED AT YOUR HOME.”
“He said you weren’t upset at finding out I was in E’s body.” Sans looked up at his brother. He didn’t know how many people he could handle hating him right now.
“I AM UPSET YOU LIED AND KEPT IT A SECRET. I AM NOT UPSET AT THE REST.” Papyrus laid a hand on his back. “WE’VE DISCUSSED IT BEFORE, AND WHILE I DO WANT TO BE CLEAR THAT NOT ALLOWING SECRETS WASN’T A SUGGESTION, I CAN SAVE THAT CONVERSATION FOR ANOTHER TIME.” He pulled his brother into a hug. “FOR NOW, TELL US ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED.”
Sans couldn’t hold his body up anymore. Papyrus held him while he sat there, miserable. Edge wanted to walk away and hide from this, especially in this body, from Sans, but it wouldn’t be fair to him.
“He doesn’t want to see me or E. He’s convinced that we’re gunna start some type of love triangle or square or something.” He turned to look at Edge. “And you wanna explain the shit you pulled with him? Red thinks you were fucking with him since you were such an ass pre-convergence, and you changed your tune pretty quick. I know I said to compliment him and treat him well, but if you blame me for your bullshit-”
“IT WAS MY FAULT. ONLY MY FAULT.” Edge didn’t flinch away from the glare. “MY BROTHER STOPPED BEING CLOSE TO ME SHORTLY AFTER I GOT OUT OF STRIPES, AND WHEN I WAS YOU, I REALIZED HOW MUCH I WANTED THAT BACK.” He approached Sans, ready to accept whatever punishment he deemed appropriate. “HE IS THE BROTHER I REMEMBER WITH YOU. THE ONE I LOVED WHEN I WAS SMALL.” He bowed his head before Sans. “I DIDN’T KNOW HOW MUCH I MISSED HIM UNTIL HE WAS IN FRONT OF ME. AND IN YOUR BODY, I FELT LIKE I COULD JUST FULLY ENJOY IT.”
“Well I hope you enjoyed it enough to last a lifetime, because he doesn’t want to see this face again.” Sans gestured to his stolen countenance. “Then again, I’m not sure he’ll take me back with my face either.” He sighed, sounding defeated.
“HE IS ANGRY, BUT NOT UNREASONABLE. I DO NOT KNOW IF HE’LL FORGIVE EDGE, BUT HE LOVES YOU. I DOUBT YOU’LL BE TURNED AWAY FOR TOO LONG.” Papyrus held him in the half hug gently. He cocked his head to the side. “THOUGH I AM CURIOUS. HE BELIEVES THIS WILL BE A REGULAR OCCURANCE?” Sans closed his eyes, relaxing as much as the stiff armor and stress would let him.
“He’s under the impression that since we didn’t mind being with each other, you and E being a thing, and with him and I being a thing, that we’d make it a regular deal. Though that falls apart if he and E aren’t a thing, so it doesn’t matter.” He looked up at his bro. “I love you, but I need him. I wanted…” He hunched his back. “I wanted to share my soul with him.” He sat up, leaning out of the comfort to curl in on himself. “I fucked up.”
“I...KNOW IT DOESN’T MEAN MUCH, AND I DO NOT EXPECT YOU TO FORGIVE ME FOR IT, BUT I AM SORRY.”
Sans laughed humorlessly.
“Me too.”
Papyrus was the only one not forlornly staring at the floor. He stood briskly, placing his hands on his hips, calling for both of their attention with a heavy step.
“THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE! RED WILL NEVER FORGIVE EITHER OF YOU WITH THAT ATTITUDE.” He pointed at Sans. “IF YOU WORK TO WIN HIM BACK, HE WILL BE YOURS SANS. YOU JUST NEED TO TRY. IS HE NOT WORTH THE EFFORT?” Sans’s eye sockets glowed bright with yearning.
“He’s worth a lot more than I got. But I’ll work at it until I can look him in the eye again.” Papyrus turned to point at Edge.
“YOU SAID YOU LOVED HIM, AS MUCH AS I LOVE SANS AT LEAST. DO YOU NOT WISH TO CHASE THAT DOWN, TO MAKE HIM, IF NOT RETURN YOUR LOVE, THEN ACCEPT IT?” He got down on his knees to hold Edge’s small hands in his own. “I DO NOT KNOW WHERE I WOULD BE WITHOUT MY SANS; I KNOW YOU MISS YOURS. BUT HE MUST BE CONVINCED YOUR FEELINGS ARE SINCERE. CAN THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE EDGE RISE TO THE OCCASION?”
Edge shook in Papyrus’s grasp. He had risen so high, accomplished so much, with a mountain of his own blood, sweat, and tears to get to where he was. He’d stood on his own two boots and ran forward to create his own path. But now, the memories of the past were coming back to haunt him. Before he could stand alone. Red had cared for him selflessly, defending his tiny soul from scavengers without complaint. And now that he sought them out, he couldn’t recall Red ever throwing that in his face while he’d screamed Red down for all his mistakes.
He’d been selfish, and his soul trembled thinking of the monumental task ahead. If he failed…
But he had never failed! He was the great and terrible Papyrus! Even if he went by Edge now, HE himself had remained unchanged. He stared up into his love’s face, bold and determined.
“I’M GOING TO WIN HIM BACK, NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES!” He gently clanked Papyrus’s face. “THANK YOU LOVE. I HAD ALMOST FORGOTTEN MYSELF.” He hugged him tight.
“NOW LET’S FIX THIS!”
---------
“T-there! Back to n-normal!” Edge could feel the heavy press of his armor on his chest. Sans woke up in his hoodie and coulda cried with how much he had missed it. They looked over at each other.
“I APOLOGIZE FOR EVERYTHING SANS.” Edge needed to say this with his own face. This mess was his idea and the failure of it was his own fault. This experience had humbled him to many things, and this apology was a warm up of sorts. The bigger one was to come later tonight. “THANK YOU ALPHYS.”
“You’re welcome. Please d-don’t cause anymore trouble in my lab.” She shook her head and walked back to the other side of the lab. Sans scratched his skull.
“I mean, takes two to tango. Besides, I’m not the one you really need to see.” Sans straightened out his back, familiar popping instead of Edge’s smooth unfurl. “Not gunna give you tips though. Saw how that worked out last time.”
“THAT IS LIKELY BEST.”
“Good luck. We’re cheering for ya.” Sans winked at him.
They exchanged a few more words, but Sans waved him off to wait with Papyrus. Witnesses would complicate this.
He walked into the door, and Red was sprawled on the couch, shoes by the door, exactly as he had been when Edge had come in as Sans forever ago. Red growled from his spot, not looking at him.
“I told you to leave me alone until you were in your own fucking body Sans.”
“I WASN’T PRESENT FOR THAT, BUT I SUPPOSE I FOLLOWED THE INSTRUCTIONS ANYWAY.” Edge sighed, Red flinching and already turning red with anger.
“I don’t wanna see you, no matter which fucking body you’re in Papyrus.” Red snarled, throwing a remote that Edge easily caught, ready to snap his fingers and vanish.
“SANS, PLEASE.” Edge crossed his arms. “REGARDLESS OF THE RESULT, THIS CONVERSATION HAS TO HAPPEN. LET US HAVE IT AND NOT HAVE IT HANG OVER US.” His body un-tensed when Red lowered his hand, shaking his head.
“Fine. Let’s have this stupid conversation.” Red pulled his hoodie up tighter around him. His eyes were already glowing, anger flaring up his magic. “So, go ahead. Try to fucking talk your way through this. I’m fucking listening.”
Edge didn’t know how to begin. How could he even begin to describe the complex emotions he had? Maybe he could start with the obvious?
“I LOVE YOU SA-”
“No you fucking DON’T.” Edge felt blue magic drop him to his knees. Red was in his face an instant later. “Don’t start with the fake ass sweet talk. I’m not gunna be fooled into sleeping with you aga-”
“FUCK YOU! IT ISN’T FUCKING FAKE YOU PIECE OF SHIT!” Edge grabbed the front of Red’s hoodie like he’d done a million times before. “DO YOU THINK THIS IS EASY FOR ME? THAT I DIDN’T HAVE TO GRAPPLE WITH THIS FUCKING OVERWHELMING FEELING THAT I DIDN’T ASK FOR?!” Edge hoisted him up, toes barely dragging the floor. “IT WASN’T A FUCKING CHOICE!”
“CONGRATU-FUCKIN-LATIONS PAPYRUS! How do you think I fucking feel?!” Red clawed at Edge’s arm, glaring at him with so much vitriol. “You called me a useless, lazy, no better than dust piece of shit for YEARS! Then you fucking show up wearing SANS’S face, and suddenly it’s ‘you’re so strong love, nothing compares,’ fucking me like you haven’t been embarassed by me being ALIVE since you were taller than me!” He scratched harder, starting to dig in. Edge held even though his arm shook. “Now you want me to believe you love me when it conveniently makes you look less like an asshole?!”
“WHERE WAS THIS?!” Edge shook him until he rattled. “WHERE WAS THIS FUCKING ENERGY WHEN WE WERE LIVING IN OUR HOME?!”
“The fuck do you mean?!” Red kicked Edge, toes bouncing off Edge’s front plate.
“GOD DAMMIT SANS! I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO DIE!” Red just looked confused, sneering disbelief, not understanding his point. “YOU WOULDN’T WAKE UP. YOU WOULDN’T EAT. YOU ACTIVELY SLEPT OUT IN THE OPEN. IT WAS LIKE THE SECOND I COULD DEFEND MYSELF, YOU MADE YOUR LIFE MY PROBLEM ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE!” Edge felt a claw draw blood, he tossed Red back a few feet, stumbling on the carpet before falling on his ass.
“I was never your fucking problem to keep alive! You only needed to defend yourself! You’re the one who made my life YOUR problem!” Red coughed hard, growling Edge’s way.
“WHAT DID YOU WANT ME TO DO SANS?! JUST LET MY BROTHER FUCKING DIE?!”
“YES!” Red shouted, tears only gathering in the corners of his eyes. He wouldn’t let them fall. “You shoulda just let me die! You were fine on your own!” Edge felt something in his chest explode.
“What?” Edge tried to look at Red, but his gaze kept sliding away, unable to really contemplate what that meant. “You wanted to die?” He sounded lost.
“Wasn’t that obvious?!” Red scrunched up his nose. Edge’s gaze was still very, very distant.
“But...why?” Edge’s chest felt heavier than fifty armor plates. “I-” He cut off, unsure of how to continue.
“I killed our dad.” Red’s body drooped hard. “He was gunna kill you, so I killed him and ran. I was terrified; I was just a kid, and most kids died, much less kids looking after kids. But I had killed G, so I had enough LV to scare off other scavengers.” Red couldn’t look at Edge. “But it felt so bad. It felt wrong, LV didn’t sit right with me, and I could feel that sin crawling on my back all the time. I still feel it now.” Red had never looked more tired, Edge’s eyes watered, building up to tears. He didn’t fight Red grabbing him by the scarf. “But I couldn’t fucking quit on you! I wanted to die every damn second, but you were defenseless and I had to tough it out for you! So of course I checked the fuck out when you could fight on your own without help! You’re the great and terrible Papyrus, and I was a damn nobody.” Red let go of the scarf, holding Edge’s skull, wide tear filled eyes and all, with both hands. Edge still had no words.
“If you’d let me die, you would’ve been unstoppable.” Red sighed, rubbing off the tear tracks with his thumbs. Edge’s mouth was hanging slightly open. “You woulda been a hotshot Royal Guardsman with no weaknesses, and all it would cost you was a worthless sinner who wouldn’t kill in a world of kill or be killed, just waiting to be killed and holding you back.” Red laughed mirthlessly. “I couldn’t even do that right. Refused to kill but killed Gaster without hesitation.”
Edge could barely see, overwhelmed, like he had never seen his brother clearly before. The shock was wearing down with Red running his thumbs over his cheekbones.
“WHY...DID HE WISH TO KILL ME?”
“You weren’t a child prodigy. I could help him in the lab super young. You were a normal babybones. He didn’t want to deal with you. Was gunna dust you and try again.” Red let his face go. “Go ahead. I can hear you thinking from here.”
“WHAT I SAW WAS SOMEONE WHO ABANDONED ME THE SECOND I COULD CARRY BOTH OF US. I HATED IT, HATED YOU, FOR WANTING ME TO DO EVERYTHING INSTEAD OF HELPING ME. AND YOU MADE IT SO DAMN DIFFICULT BY NOT DOING ANYTHING TO KEEP YOURSELF ALIVE.” Edge laid his arms on Red’s shoulders, red scratches lining the bones. “I NEVER UNDERSTOOD WHY.”
“Who says shit like that to a kid? I raised you, I’m not gunna say that and fuck you up, thinking it’s your fault I’m screwed up in the head, like I regretted keeping you.” Red looked at his socks. Edge’s soul shook with anxiety.
“YOU DON’T?” Red snapped his gaze up to Edge’s face.
“The fuck? I’ve loved you since day one Papyrus. I’m pissed at you, but it’s not something you can lose.” Red said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Edge pulled him into the tightest hug he could, burying his face in the fluffy trim. Red’s arms hovered hesitantly, before laying them onto Edge’s back, hugging him back with a full body sigh. “You’re the one who had no reason to love me.”
“I THOUGHT YOU HATED ME. HATED THE FACT THAT I TOOK YOUR CHILDHOOD AWAY.” Edge cried into his shoulder. His bones rattled loudly, breath scraping in and out, half out of breath and half full of heartache. “I WAS SO ANGRY. I ADORED YOU SO MUCH BEFORE I GOT STRONGER, THEN YOU TURNED INTO SOMEONE WHO HATED ME.” So far, it’d all been the past, but Edge couldn’t stop the flood of words. “WHEN I CAME HERE AS SANS, AND WE LAUGHED ON THE COUCH, ALL I COULD REMEMBER IS THAT YOU HADN’T LAUGHED WITH ME IN DECADES.”
“I distanced myself as hard as I could. I didn’t want you to miss me when I died.” Red stroked the back of his skull. “I thought I had finally made you fucking despise me, and then of fucking course the convergence happened, and I had to live with that choice.” Part of Red still didn’t want to let any of this go, but he had always been soft on his bro.
“I THOUGHT YOU HAD SUCCEEDED AS WELL, BUT I THINK I HAD JUST GIVEN UP ON YOU LOVING ME. AND WHEN I COULD SPEAK AS SANS, SOMEONE YOU CHERISHED, I WAS SO JEALOUS. YOU LOVED HIM, BUT NOT ME.” Edge shuffled his legs around, Red suddenly seated in his lap.
Red leaned against his brother’s long chest, then grabbed Edge’s chin. He directed his view down to him.
“I love both of you. It’s not a competition.” Edge’s eyes went wide.
“SANS, PLEASE, TELL ME YOU LOVE ME.” Here he was, on the edge again, absolutely needing Red to do this. Red felt his soul skip a beat, he knew exactly what would happen when he said those words, and all that was left was to say them or not. He stared directly into Edge’s eyes.
“I love you Papyrus.”
Red closed his eyes before it happened. Edge pulled straight out of his grip and swooped down to kiss him.
Red groaned when Edge shifted him in his lap to get a real good angle to sneak his tongue in. His hands snuck up around Edge’s neck, locking him in until Red was good and ready to let him go.
When they parted, they were both blushing.
“I LOVE YOU SANS. I CANNOT UNDO THE PAST, BUT I MEAN IT NOW.” Edge ran his hands over each rib through Red’s jacket. “I’D TELL YOU WHAT I’M THINKING, BUT IT MIGHT UPSET YOU.”
“Say it anyway. We’re starting a no secret policy like those other two dumbasses.” Red hummed into the contact. The tension he’d been carrying all week was just starting to loosen.
“YOU’RE QUITE HANDSOME.” Red jolted up, pressing his face directly into Edge’s shoulder. Edge stroked the back of Red’s skull happily.
“Ya’re on thin ice asshole…” He mumbled into Edge’s armor, then mumbled again. “‘Sides, you’ve been the handsome one our whole lives.” A shiver shot up Edge’s spine. His soul hummed with the praise, pulling Red’s legs to straddle his lap, and going in for another kiss while Red was still wearing his cute blush. He moaned softly and Edge ate up every sound.
“CAN I TOUCH YOU SANS?” His hands hovered over the hoodie zipper, but he wouldn’t betray Red’s trust a second time. Two chances were rare from him.
“I dunno. Can you?” Red’s eyes were half lidded, lazy smirk tilted up at his brother’s face. Edge dropped his head on his brother’s shoulder.
“YOU’RE INSUFFERABLE. MAY I TOUCH YOU?”
“I...I don’t know.” Red laid his hands on Edge’s skull. They were shaking. “I’m feeling a little self conscious after last time.”
Edge gently traced over where he knew the scars were, completely clothed.
“YOU GOT MOST OF THESE DEFENDING ME.” He hugged him closer, slid completely up into his lap, pressed together. “YOU’RE THE ONLY REASON I MADE IT THIS FAR. THERE IS NOTHING I COULD SEE THAT WOULD MAKE ME THINK LESS OF YOU.”
“It’d help if you weren’t still trying to be so over the top with this lovey stuff…” Red leaned into the hug, slotting them as close together as he could manage. He pressed his face into the armor, breathing in the familiar scent of his brother. “I don’t need to be buttered up so much for a good time.”
“YOU CLEARLY ENJOY IT THOUGH.” Edge toyed with the tip of Red’s tailbone through his shorts. Red huffed into Edge’s chest, wiggling in his lap. “I ENJOY IT AS WELL.”
“Papyrusssss.” Red’s fingers stroked along Edge’s neck vertebrae. He pulled himself up enough to breathe right onto the sensitive bones.
“LET ME MAKE YOU SCREAM SANS…”
Edge slotted their pelvises together just right. Red whined into it.
“Fine. You can touch.” Edge captured his mouth in a kiss almost immediately. His hands pushed the hoodie off, and went for the shirt just as quickly. He broke the kiss to remove the thing before diving right back in. Red whimpered right into his mouth while his hands pulled which ribs were more sensitive than others from memory.
Red clawed at the armor, hands shakily undoing the belts holding it in place. Red had never forgotten how to put it on and remove it. He’d seen it done a million times. Edge removed the shirts underneath without needing to be asked.
Red pushed their chests together, scarred bones rubbing up against one another. Edge dipped a hand into Red’s pants to hold his pelvis and forcibly grind up against him.
“AAAAAH!” Red cried out. The harsher ministrations fit so much better. Edge wouldn’t be as gentle or lazy as Sans. His honesty was crude and cutting, and he didn’t do soft very well, but the meaning behind the acts were clear; Edge loved him, in his own way, and needed Red to know.
“SUCH WONDERFUL SOUNDS, I THINK I CAN GET YOU LOUDER THOUGH.”
“I’m gunna make ya work for it.” Red slid out of his pants when prompted, keeping to low gravelly moans and pleased hums. Edge kept trying new bumps, different techniques on the spots Red really responded to. Red didn’t increase in sound, purposely teasing him.
Then he gave up and bit down with his sharp teeth on Red’s collarbone.
“FUCK!” Red dug scratches into Edge’s back. Edge went to pull back and apologize, but once he let go, Red tilted his head the other way. “You bite your fucking boyfriend like that, you vampire?” Edge grinned ferociously.
“HE’S NOT INTO THAT, UNLIKE YOU, YOU MASOCHIST.” Edge bit down on the opposite shoulder. Red cried out, his ecto summoning without a thought.
“If you know I’m a masochist, what’re ya waiting for?” Red pushed down Edge’s pants, undoing the belt with a single hand, taking hold of Edge’s cock and freeing it from his loose pants. With skilled ease, he slid all the way down in one motion, whining at the bite of pain from going so fast. Edge forgot how to breathe. Red bounced, panting at the stretch and the soft pounding at the back of his pussy.
Edge gripped his hips to stop him. He adjusted their angle, did one slow slide inside of Red to make sure he’d bottom out each time, then proceeded to smash him down. Red gasped the first time. His moans increased in volume when Edge refused to let up.
“I WANT YOU TO FEEL THIS WHEN HE RETURNS HOME TO YOU.” Edge growled at Red’s bright face, overwhelmed and enraptured by him. “I WILL NOT LET YOU FORGET THIS, FORGET ME. I LOVE YOU, AND WHILE I AM DEIGNING TO SHARE WITH SANS, IF HE CAN HAVE BOTH OF YOU, I WILL AS WELL.” He could feel Red’s building orgasm in the clench of his fingers on his rib cage, the tears gathering in the corners of his eyes, the pitch of his whines.
“I love you too.” Red cried, pain completely melted away. Edge clanked their foreheads together.
“Then come for me.” Edge came kissing Red.
They came down together, passionate kissing devolving into soft clanks until they collapsed against each other. Red hid his blushing face.
“I have no idea how this is gunna work.” Red shivered without his warm hoodie. “You and Sans agreeing to share, considering how much you argue, is really fucking weird.” Edge reached a long arm over to grab the hoodie and wrap it around his brother.
“WE BOTH CARE ABOUT YOU AND PAPYRUS. I CONSIDER IT MORE OF A TRADE, AS I GET SOME TIME WITH YOU IN EXCHANGE FOR HIS TIME WITH PAPYRUS. I AM NOT AGAINST FAIR TRADES.” Red stood on shaky legs, looking around for his clothes. He tossed back any of Edge’s he found on the hunt.
“And what about you and Sans?” Red stood up straight, wincing when he put a hand on his lower back. Edge tilted his head.
“WHAT ABOUT HIM AND I?” Red raised a brow.
“I mean, you did have sex with him. I just want to know what that arrangement looks like going forward. This kinda complex shit only works when we’re all transparent.” Edge stood to his full height. He adjusted his clothes and then grabbed his chin.
“I ADMIT, I HADN’T CONSIDERED THAT. WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST, AS YOU WERE LEFT OUT OF PREVIOUS DISCUSSIONS?” Edge thought on the idea of him and Sans doing anything again. The first time had been for a direct purpose, but there was an allure to having a liaison with a partner who he was constantly at odds with.
“I’m not really that interested in him, but I guess if you wanna have Sans, then if P and I decide to do anything, ya can’t complain.” Red shrugged. “Not that I expect that it’ll happen a lot. It’s not like I’m giving up Sans as my partner. You aren’t exchangeable. I’m pretty sure you still want to marry P.”
“OF COURSE. I LOVE HIM. OUR DATE NIGHTS ARE SOME OF THE BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE. MAKING A HOME WITH HIM IS STILL MY PRIORITY.” Edge kneeled and took one of Red’s hands. “YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO ME, AND I KNOW THAT YOU CARE FOR ME. SANS IS JUST A MORE DIRECT MATCH.” He looked towards the bedroom knowingly. “I DO PREFER NOT TO LIVE NEXT DOOR TO A TRASH TORNADO NOW THAT I HAVE THE OPTION.”
“Come on Boss, it makes cleaning a breeze.” Red smirked, Edge squawking in indignation. He bopped him on the skull, but Red finally felt his body fully relax. Everything felt right again. With a smile, he led Edge to the front door.
“Go on, send home my idiot when you see P. You know where to find me.” Red leaned on the door frame as Edge stepped out. He stooped down to kiss Red on the forehead fondly.
“I WILL SEE YOU SOON SANS.” And off he went.
------------
“How was the sleepover?” Red looked back over his shoulder when he heard Sans come in. He’d been trying his hand at cooking lately, as having all their meals at Grillby’s was getting a little old. He heard the rustle of a bag and then a sheet behind him. Then something dropped over his head.
“Pretty good. You clearly got the movie taste AND looks in the family though.” He felt a kiss on the cheek.
The item dropped on him fluttered into view. A “Kiss The Cook” apron.
“Thanks Sansy.” He turned to face Sans, stirring the stew with one hand, pulling Sans into a better kiss.
“Mmmmm. Knew you’d like it.” Sans sat down at their kitchen table, patiently waiting for Red to finish cooking. “Your bro asked for help picking out an engagement ring for Papyrus. He’ll probably be out of touch for a bit.” He leaned back against the chair. “He offered to help me find one for you, but I turned it down.”
“Why’s that?” Red set down two plates of food. He settled into his chair, getting ready to take a bite.
“We both know we don’t wanna plan a whole shindig.” Red chuckled at that, blowing on a bite before chowing down. Pretty good this time, maybe sear the meat a little less, and almost too lost in his musing to hear Sans whisper to his plate. “That’ll never happen.”
Red couldn’t get the food down at that. It’d been months since the body swap thing, and while it took a bit to really get used to it, they were all better off for it. At least, that’s what he thought. Apparently Sans didn’t think so.
After a very awkward dinner, and a quiet clean up, Sans hugged him from behind while he put up the dishes.
“I’m feeling pretty beat. Think I’m gunna turn in a little early.” He felt so quiet, so distant. Red hugged over the arms.
“Wait up for me? Gunna shower, been stewing in sweat all day.” It barely pulled a chuckle. He did feel a slow nod against his back, then empty air. Red chest crushed under the weight of his heart. He quickly cleaned himself off, walking into their bedroom in his boxers and a t-shirt. Sans smiled, but it was tight and tired, not even reaching out to pull him closer for them to sleep. Red trembled and turned away when they turned off the light.
Sans would never marry him. He’d never be marriage material. He tried to keep his sniffles quiet, not wanting to disturb Sans while he slept. Who knows if he’d even stay boyfriend material if he was annoying on top of everything else?
“Red?” Sans had the light on in an instant. He turned Red over to look at his face, full of concern, pulling him into a hug without a thought. Sans was too nice to him. “What’s wrong, love?” Red leaned his head against him, miserable. “I shoulda noticed. I’m sorry, whatever you need, I’m here.”
Red clutched at his back, face buried in Sans’s shoulder while he hiccupped. He was such a crybaby. So easy to upset, no one would want such a sensitive spouse, always causing problems just by existing.
He would’ve kept wallowing if he didn’t feel tears falling on his skull as well.
When he pulled back, he stared at Sans’s unusual tears, confused.
“W-why are you crying?” Red winced at the stutter, caught between wanting to hunch in on himself and hold Sans. Sans kissed him gently.
“Because I love you and I’m still so bad at helping you, knowing what you need, being there when you need it. I’m such a damn failure.” He rested a hand on Red’s cheek. “You’ve been quiet since dinner, and I got too caught up in how I was feeling to be there for you, just being selfish as usual. I hate seeing you cry. What happened?” Red placed a hand over Sans’s, staring into his eyes. They had all agreed to no secrets, so he just quietly confessed.
“I heard you at dinner, that we’d never get married. I know I’m not that great of a boyfriend, but it hurts to hear it.” Sans’s eyes just got wider and wider as Red spoke. “I’m trying so hard to not be worthless. I love you so much Sansy, I don’t want you to leave.”
“Red, no.” Sans kissed his entire face, finishing by resting his forehead against Red’s.
“But you said-”
“I meant me. You’d never marry me.” Sans tired eyes wouldn’t meet his. “I caused that whole mess, and you were the one who got screwed by it, all for my selfishness. When you told me that you almost offered your soul to E in my body?” Sans laughed, humorless and tearful. ”I knew it was over. I fucked that up. I had you, and I threw it away, and I’ll never get that back. That trust is gone, and there’s no one to blame but myself.” Sans closed his eyes. “Everything fell into place but this, and I don’t think it was worth the trade.”
Sans certainly didn’t expect the soft kiss. For all their similarities, they sure could be blind.
“Sansy, I love you. I didn’t stop, even when I was mad at you. Don’t you love me?”
“Of course I do.”
“Then what’s not falling into place? We got each other and all the time in the world.” Red held Sans’s face, gently rubbing his cheeks. “Is this because of the soul thing? Do you think I don’t trust you?”
“Yeah...I just felt before, we were building up to that, to sharing each other that way, and now, it feels like none of that matters anymore.” Sans sighed. “I guess I coulda just been too focused on it. I wasn’t appreciating what I had again…” He sagged in Red’s hands, leaning forward until he rested his head on Red’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
Sans could feel Red’s body tense under him. He really was the worst sometimes, causing his boyfriend this much stress over his own inadequacies. He felt one of Red’s arms drop off his back, feeling the deep breaths in his chest, and then a hand by his own.
“It stressed me out and I was building up to it because I was nervous. I’ve never let anyone see it after we ran away from home. But after everything else, it just took a back seat. If I had known how important you felt that was, I wouldn’t have let it slip through the cracks.” Red leaned his head onto Sans’s. “If this is as meaningful as marriage where you’re from, then I’m sorry for making ya think I didn’t want that with you.”
He felt a weight transfer from Red’s hand to his own. Sans adjusted his head to see.
Red’s soul, floating above his palm. His eyes teared up again. He sat back up slowly, trying to not jostle the little thing, pulling it up closer to his face. It magically hovered a few inches above his hands, but he could reach out and touch it if he wanted.
“Wow.” It gently twirled in front of his face.
“It’s nothing special.” Sans didn’t glance away to respond to Red. He chastely kissed it, so very happy. “Aaaaah. That feels...nice.” Sans nuzzled against it like he would his boyfriend, happily humming into the warm soul. Red purred into the contact, laying back onto the headboard. He stretched out, bones warming up from the breath from Sans’s nose. “This is like getting the best massage of my life. I love you.” Sans smiled at him.
“Love you too. Wonder if you’ll like this more.” He took a long, languid lick right between the dip of the soul.
“Oh fuck.” His body arched off the bed.
“You taste like sugar. Always knew you were a sweetheart.” Red laughed, but it was short, breathless, while Sans traced the edges of his soul. Red tore off his shirt to cool down, but the sensation was deep into his marrow.
“You sure-” Red groaned. “-got me fired up.” His bones were starting to glow crimson. The magic in his body pulsed awake, craving Sans, wanting to share this feeling with him.
Sans was too focused on the tasty soul in his mouth, enjoying Red’s sounds, not noticing the scrambling hands at his boxers until Red had pushed them down.
“Hey, relax. This is about you.” But Red had pushed him backwards. He fell softly onto the bed, Red removing the pants with extreme prejudice.
“This is about us.” Red’s talented hands stroked and teased. His warmed hands made quick work of summoning Sans’s cock. Sans felt Red’s tongue on him in seconds, eyes hazy from all the soul teasing.
“Fuck Red, babe, I-” Sans sucked on the pointed end of Red’s soul, his boyfriend moaning around his cock. “-was gunna give you mine too.”
Red paused his work to look at Sans face.
“Your soul?” Sans nodded. With a little concentration, he summoned it to the front of his body. Red hesitantly reached for it. Sans kissed Red’s soul, trying to impart how much he wanted to share this with him with the simple touch. He plucked it from its summoning place with a look of reverence.
Sans soul pounded in his love’s warm fingers. Holding Red’s soul, the connection between them opened like a path, familiar but strange, like a trail only taken at night suddenly visible in the day.
Red kissed the soul softly, Sans doing the same, and the emotional feedback magnified.
“I love you so much.” It had come out of Red’s mouth, but they felt the echo of those words across their entire bodies. He laid forward, Sans’s ecto barely under his chin, licking at the soul while desire took over all his senses. His own soul was getting a similar treatment.
Once he’d gotten his fill of the flavor, however, he took the warm heart and moved it out of sight. Sans only knew because of the sudden mouth on him instead.
“My soul too gross for you?” He was kidding, Red could feel that, but he did sense the little spike of curiosity. He didn’t answer, keeping up his slow work on Sans’s cock with his mouth and single hand. His own ecto pussy had summoned ages ago, wet and dripping, and Red did flick his gaze upwards for that first little attempt. “Holy shit what are you doing ahhhhhhhhhh.”
Red continued working Sans’s hot soul up against himself, it sinking a little further each time. Sans tended to Red’s soul between dazed choked gasps.
“What’re you-hnnnnngh-doing to me?” Sans’s licked stripes got sloppy, feeling confined and hot, incredibly turned on. “I can see your mouth, so where’s this feeling-god DAMN!” Red finally managed to work the soul into himself enough for it to sink, his body swallowing it down his tight wet pussy. The first squeeze around it drew gasps from both of them.
“Being-mmmmmmm, ah!- double teamed by one person is new.” Red writhed, working to get Sans’s cock as far down his throat as the soul was up in his body. He used the free hand to rub over his sensitive nub, almost overwhelmed instantly from the soul feedback. He switched to fingering himself around the soul instead.
“Reeeeeeeed!” Sans’s attention became razor focused. He sucked and dragged his teeth across every piece of Red’s soul, singlemindedly trying to escape the inferno blazing through his body by igniting an even hotter one in Red, if it was even possible. His bones were glowing too, and where they touched steamed up the air, magic heavy and charged like a battery. His mind, Red’s mind, there wasn’t a difference anymore as they built up hotter and hotter bodies. Sans wasn’t sure he could even withstand the feeling of Red clenching down around him twice at the same time.
“Sansy. I’m so full of you Sansy.” Red kept up fast hand strokes when he came up for words. His tongue could scarcely keep away. “Hheeeeeeeelp me come AHHHHH!” Red took Sans’s cock to the base in one head bob, pushing the soul even deeper into himself with his fingers at the same time.
Sans could barely move, but he did have an idea. He pulled the entire soul in his mouth. His tongue wrapped around it, wet and warm, and swallowed.
“FUUUUUCK!”
Sans came right down Red’s throat at the same time Red spasmed around his soul.
It took so long for the aftershocks to leave Sans coherent. He could barely sit up, but he forced himself to tend to Red, who still hadn’t come down. His soul was still inside of him, and Red kept whimpering with his legs spread open. He put Red’s soul back first; he had pulled it out of his skull trying to stop the sensations.
“I-I-I think I go-ot t-too excit-ed.” Red curled his chin down, trying to push the soul out, but not making much progress.
“First idea after getting my soul is to put it in your pussy. Pervert.” Sans chuckled, hiding just how sensitive his body still felt. He gently slid his fingers into him. Red threw his head back, bucking up against them. “You gotta try to relax, or I won’t be able to reach it.”
“E-easy f-f-for you to say.” Red struggled to keep his hips still. Sans’s fingers could barely touch the bottom; he’d have to fit more of his hand inside. Red was still soaked from the stimulation, so the fingers did start to slide in.
“I’m gunna have to get deeper in there.”
“F-fucking fist me why don’t ya.” Red whined at Sans trying to work his hand up there.
“I almost have to.” When the widest part of his hand sank in, he finally got a grip on it. Holding onto it while pulling it out did make his hand too wide to pull back out easily. It was gunna hurt if he just yanked. With a hold on his own soul, the sensations on his end were dulled enough to focus, so he started stretching him from the inside, gently pulling and pushing while Red bit down to keep from getting too into it.
“S-sorry.” Sans heard it just before Red canted his hips with reckless abandon.
Well, this was about him.
Sans worked his hand harder, taking advantage of Red’s enthusiasm to work him wider. His overwarm bones complained, but he was so close. Deeper, almost out, faster, tightening around his arm, and when his hand was almost free, he used his free fingers to get Red off in time with him pulling free.
Sans fell back, soul finally free, already desummoning like Red’s ecto, and they collapsed against each other, their touch finally absent of feedback.
After centuries, Red spoke.
“Are we married now?” And Sans laughed hard enough to catch Red in it too, two silly boneheads rattling in the night.
“I think so.” Sans closed his eyes, and sought out his hand. Red settled in next to him, covering them in a mostly clean blanket, then clasped it right back.
“I love you husband.” The night covered them, only the glow of their eyelights left after the lamps were off. The air was light and happy, and Sans could finally breathe easy again after all this time.
“I love you too. Til death do us part.” His grin was sleepy and crooked, Red’s was fond and tired. And with everything right again, sleep finally took them.
-----
Holy shit, it’s posted. Have fun with that.
#kedgeup#fontcest#fellcest#kustard#sanscest#apologies to cherryblossom#the idea of writing that sex scene was stressing me out#it would've been a bonus if it didn't#story time
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YOU. ANGER MANAGEMENT FOR SHIP MEME.
they r so evil ur honor.
Send me a ship + some questions and i'll just fuckin develop the ship for us free of charge!! Or do as Grem did here and tell me to do all the questions ugghhh bastard
PRE-RELATIONSHIP
How did they first meet?
Hmmm Bubble primarily sings in like. mafia-based bars. Triana was a patron and heard the pretty fuchsia lady sing about how much she liked violence and was like OWOOGA i gotta fucking talk to her.
What was their first impression of each other?
Bubble "why is this lime talking to me. shes pretty but like why." Triana "im gunna make this fish my bitch."
Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?
LMAO Bubble definitely thinks not! Bubble is TERRIFIED (unreasonably so might i mention) that her sister or her brother will steal Triana.
Who felt romantic feelings first?
Hmm. Bubble. Triana i think wouldnt realize she was pale until the Incident where Bubble lost her leg.
Did either of them try to resist their feelings?
Bubble MAY have at first for Triana's "safety"
If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?
I don't think either would be too surprised, though Bubble when younger was convinced Bruuno was her soulmate
What would their lives be like if they had never met?
Kam would've killed Bubble via bloodloss!
GENERAL
Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?
Kam. Kam did. Accidentally. He yanked off Bubble's leg and Bubble called Triana for help. From there, moirails.
Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?
First OFFICIAL date was probably going out for drinks and dual seduction-murder of strangers
What was their first kiss like?
Sweet, curt, Bubble may have been giggling.
Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?
Nah.....well. Triana was Bubble's first moirail, but that's it.
What’s their height difference? Age difference?
They're ROUGHLY the same age....Bubble is uhhhhh almost 35ish yrs old if i had to give her an age. I have NO clue how tall Tri is but bubble's a whopping 5'5
What’s their relationship with each other’s families?
Bubble desperately tries to keep Domini and Meduza far away from Triana. I don't think she's care much bout Carbyn. What's that little twunk gunna do. he's gay.
Who takes the lead in social situations?
They both do :)
Who gets jealous easier?
Bubble. But she's prone to jealousy
Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear?
Bubble...............
LOVE
Who said “I love you” first?
B....Bubble......
What are their primary love languages?
.....murder? not poisoning each other?
Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?
Bubble does to get Triana to laugh :)c
How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?
Occasionally! Depends on the moment
Who initiates kisses?
Bubble does because shes a needy bitch
Who’s the big and little spoon?
both equally! But Bubble is DELIGHTFUL to hold, she's very soft. Lots there to hold and cuddle.
What are their favorite things to do together?
.........m.....murder....??? crimes?? poison??
Who’s better at comforting the other?
I think both have their ways!
Who’s more protective?
Bubble :)c at least OPENLY. Triana would be the kind to like, stand behind Bubble when she isn't looking and just death glare anyone who looks at her wrong.
Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?
Bubble prefers physical, I think Triana wouldn't have a large preference.
What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?
They hav playlist :)cccc
What kind of nicknames do they call each other?
Bubble calls her Tri, her beloved, her one and only, her dearest moirail, her beloved diamond, etc. Triana calls Bubble her bitch.
Who remembers the little things?
I think they both do in their own little ways!!
DOMESTIC LIFE
If they get married, who proposes?
they do so at the same time. one of those moments where triana gets down on one knee only for Bubble to reveal she was ALSO going to get down on one knee.
What’s the wedding like? Who attends?
bubble invites bruuno as like a >:P mean thing and triana would invite nobody. private ceremony,
How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?
GOD NONE. NONE AT ALL. ZERO.
Do they have any pets?
bubble wants to have kenny but she cannot.
Who’s the stricter parent?
neither they r not allowed.
Who worries the most?
Bubble worries about Triana's safety often
Who kills the bugs in the house?
Triana
How do they celebrate holidays?
With lots of gifts :)c
Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?
Bubble.......
Who’s the better cook?
Triana. Bubble was never much of a chef.
Who likes to dance?
I thinkt hey enjoy like, casual ballroom dancing....or dancing in bars.
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Death of a Bachelor
Non-powered coming out IronStrange AU in which Stephen brings Tony home under a few... false pretenses. And, as always when I write him, Stephen is Asian (Nepali). The title for this is literally because Death of a Bachelor is stuck in my head and it sorta fits lol.
Peter sighs, “just you know... be yourself,” he says.
Tony squints, “‘myself’ sucks, what kind of garbage advice is that?” he asks. “I’ve got one shot at this and I know I’m going to botch it.” He’s never been good at ‘meet the parents’. Its happened once and Pepper’s parents still hate him and they aren’t even together anymore.
“That’s what you’d tell me!” Peter says.
“That’s because you’re a sweet, loving young man and anyone would be lucky to have you. I’m an asshole with a long history of warmongering and that’s honestly not even my biggest flaw.” And that’s a fucking feat.
“Okay you know what, is Stephen even the type to care if his parents like you? Because you’ve been for dating for over a year and I think he’s mentioned them once and that was in direct reference to his dead sister so I don’t really think it matters too much,” he says.
Probably not, Stephen isn’t the type to care what others think period. But Tony wants at least one set of parents to like him and he loves Stephen so this is probably his last chance. If all goes well he wants to propose, was going to anyways, but Stephen brought up his parents so he thought he’d deal with that first. So he really, really only has one shot at this. “It would be nice if a set of parents didn’t hate me for once. Not that I’d blame them really- if you brought home someone who’s a fan of me I’d tell you to dump them immediately. My fans are worse than Fight Club fans.”
Peter laughs, “its true. But I think that’s mostly because they think that time you were a womanizing warmongering alcoholic is like peak you and glorify it, not because you’re actually crappy,” he says.
Across the apartment the elevator door dings and Pepper steps out, “what?” she asks when they swivel to face her.
“We’re talking about dad’s crappy fans,” Peter says. “And also him meeting Stephen’s parents tomorrow.”
Pepper rolls her eyes, “ your fans are awful. They take who they want you to be and tout that image around no matter how little it actually resembles you as a person. As for Stephen’s parents, I have no advice. You’re horrible at these things,” she says.
“See?” Tony says to Peter. “Even Pepper thinks I’m hopeless.”
*
Stephen considers not telling Tony but if he doesn’t he’ll be in for a rather nasty surprise and he can see how nervous he is already. “They’re going to hate you,” he says bluntly and Tony glares at him.
“Is that really supposed to make me feel better?” he asks.
No, but that isn’t why he’s telling Tony anyways. “It won’t be your fault, they’re raging homophobes so they’re going to hate you on account of not being a woman. And I sort of told them you were Christine because I didn’t want to come out over the phone so they’re also going to be a bit surprised. Not that I care, its my grandmother I’d like to like you anyways but if she doesn’t she’s old, its entirely possible that she’s gone senile.” She’d have to be to not like Tony.
Frankly the only reason he’s doing this is because he’s going to propose and his parents Google him once and awhile to figure out what he’s up to. He can’t not tell them and if he tells his gran she’s got a big mouth, she’ll tell them accidentally or maybe on purpose- its hard to tell with her- and then he’ll have to explain himself. So to bypass all that drama he figures he’ll bring Tony home, deal with his parents’ crap, and then propose and get married in peace. Assuming Tony says yes and its a very real possibility he won’t. He’s only been stated that he’s not a marriage person his entire life.
God, he loathes risks he can’t determine the outcome of with at least some educated success.
“This is going to be a disaster,” Tony mumbles and Stephen pities him, really. At least his parents are dead so Stephen doesn’t need to worry about impressing the dust in their graves.
*
To say meeting Stephen’s parents goes badly is an understatement. The first thing they did was look confused, which Tony can’t blame them for considering he very much does not look like a ‘Christine’ let alone Stephen’s Christine. First of all she’s taller. Then Stephen had issued a rather formal ‘I’m bisexual’ and pretended like he hadn’t just said that and then his parents launched into transphobia with their relief that Stephen wasn’t dating some kind of freak. Because apparently he can totally pass as a Christine. Stephen had winced almost harder at that than Tony considering he obviously forgot Peter is trans and Tony doesn’t have the patience for people insulting that.
As it was he only kept his mouth shut because he didn’t want to make anything worse but Stephen’s parents insist of doing that themselves with their weird and invasive questions. Eventually Stephen’s old as shit grandmother told them to shut up, which had resulted in the best part of the night. It had been pretty clear that Stephen’s relationship with his grandmother was stronger than the one with his parents so he’d look pleased when she stood up for Tony, who was very close to his wits end and he thinks he has a dash of patience these days.
When she tells him to stop putting up with Stephen’s parent’s shit Stephen stuffs his face into his glass of wine, obviously anticipating disaster. Tony considers not saying anything but he’s had a bad night and frankly it can’t get worse.
“Alright- I know I’m more than famous enough for both of you to know who I am and that I’m a recovering alcoholic. Stop trying to offer my wine, its ignorant. Neither Stephen nor I are the woman in our relationship, that’s the fucking point. Neither of us even fit traditional gender roles anyways and if this is some weird, coded way to ask about our sex life neither of us fit the ‘top’ or ‘bottom’ stereotypes either and its fucking boring to stick to one or the other. Also what the hell would it have mattered if I really was Christine? The fuck does my junk or gender have to do with you? You have a lovely home, but its too bad such shit people live in it. Except you, you seem like you’d be fun a a bachelor party,” he says to Stephen’s grandmother.
She grins at Stephen while his parents sit dumbfounded, “I like him, he’s spunky!” she says. Yeah, because apparently the woman who’s two days older than the damn earth itself is more openminded than people half her age.
*
By the time Tony gets home Stephen is howling with laughter. “I can’t believe you started quoting studies at them,” he says, shaking his head.
“Its not my fault they’re idiots, someone had to tell them they’re wrong and also I have an eidetic memory. Figured I’d put it to good use,” he says.
Stephen shakes his head, “well, at least you made that marginally less painful and gran likes you so there’s that. And she’s not easy to impress- she didn’t like actual Christine.”
Tony smiles, “she knew you weren’t going to last or at least that’s what she told me. And also she’s still convinced Christine is a lesbian even though I’m pretty sure she’s bisexual. But she seems to think we’re good together and she’s also completely convinced your father isn’t actually your father. She’s certain your mother cheated on him at some point but given the fact that she’s Asian and the guy she thinks is your actual father is white it’d be basically impossible to tell. Which is how she explains how fucking tall you are.” Turns out the woman, despite her age, is quite spry and has a lot of opinions that she’d been happy to share with Tony. But her conspiracies on Stephen’s parentage were his favorite and, to humor the woman, he agreed to run a DNA test to confirm or deny who Stephen’s father is.
Stephen lets out a long, drawn out sigh that indicates he’s heard this before. “I’ve told her a million times there is no way more than one person would be willing to sleep with my mother. I’m shocked one person was willing to sleep with my mother and if it weren’t for the pictures I’d assume I’d been kidnapped as a child.”
“Yeah, but apparently your actual father is a very tall Scandinavian man and I think your grandmother is on to something. I looked up the average height in Nepal and you’re a literal foot taller than that. You’d be a giant there,” he says.
“And if we’re going by the average height in Italy, you’d be a woman,” Stephen says, giving Tony an irritated look.
“Rude,” Tony mumbles.
*
Stephen settles an arm around Tony’s waist, “I think maybe we should have waited until she died to get married,” he says, eyeing his grandmother talking to Peter.
“I’ve always wanted a grandson that isn’t a massive prick, you seem like a lovely young man,” she says, grinning happily.
Tony looks up at Stephen, who is indeed his father’s child, “your grandma gives off chaotic trickster vibes, I’m half convinced she’s immortal.”
Stephen sighs, “you probably aren’t aren’t wrong,” he says.
“I don’t think Stephen is that bad,” Peter says in Stephen’s defense not that it works out in his favor given his grandma’s reaction.
“Honey I’m old, but my senses are still working just fine. He’s an arrogant little shit,” she says. Tony doesn’t think he’s ever seen a grandmother swear that much but when he met all her spunky granny friends last week he’d been subjected to a bunch of sex jokes and talk of dildos so he’s not really surprised anymore. Even if he genuinely had no clue that grandmothers made sex jokes.
“I think I’ve earned my arrogance,” Stephen mumbles, coming to his own defense.
“That doesn’t explain why you’ve been like this your whole life. Take some lessons from Peter, he’s humble,” she tells him and Tony snorts and starts laughing.
“Our wedding is gunna be awesome,” he says.
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Flowey’s First Christmas on the Surface
Months after moving to the surface and gaining emotions again after so long, Flowey experiences how humans celebrate the end of the year.
People who know my writing (or my previous rp blog) from before I started writing for Frisk and Flowey will recognize a few characters who I’ve made “Frisk’s Cousins”
It’s under a read more because it’s over 5,000 words
“How many people?!”
The small flower glared up at the human. He was pissed she’d waited till now to spring this on him. Frisk held up a hand as she forced a weak grin.
“It’s not going to be that many! Just … ten at the most!” Flowey growled. “They aren’t going to all stay here!” Frisk paused for a minute. “Well, Aunt Maxine and her kids will – but that’s it! And they’ll be in the guest room!” Frisk waved her still raised hand. “You’ll like them though, you’re actually older than them!” Frisk hoped that might win him over: the blossom hated being the youngest in any group.
The flower’s growling finally stopped, though he was still glaring daggers at the human. “Why’re they staying?”
Frisk shrugged. “The kids don’t like staying in bed and breakfasts or hotels. Freaks them out for some reason.” When Flowey didn’t respond, she added, “You don’t have to be around everyone at all times you know. They’ll only come upstairs to sleep so you can come up here if you need to get away.”
“Won’t that be ‘anti-social’?” Flowey even raised two roots to make little air quotes.
Frisk shook her head. “Not if you really need time to yourself. I’ll make sure the others know sometimes you do – it won’t be seen as being rude.” Frisk offered a smile at that point.
Flowey turned away while he thought this over. He hated the idea of more humans being around but he did like that he could leave at any time. “Fine. Just make sure none of them call me a weed.”
“Promise!”
Frisk’s phone chose that moment to ding with a new text message. Pulling her phone from her pocket, she checked it. Her eyes widened as a grin spread over her face. “Hey Flowey, out of red, green, gold, white, silver and orange, what’s your favorite color?”
Flowey didn’t trust that at all. “Why?”
Frisk glanced back down at her phone, before looking at her floral friend. “Ok, now first. This was an idea from mom – this means she was thinking of you while shopping which means she might finally be warming up to you! Ok…” She held the phone out for him to take.
Wrapping a vine around it, Flowey brought it closer to peer at the screen. He instantly grimaced at the sight of multiple bright colors and the sign above them that read ‘Christmas Bows!’ Under the image was a text from Luna: ‘Flowey would probably look really cute in family pictures with one of these.’
Flowey’s small black eyes flicked to Frisk as he cringed with pure disgust.
“You can say no, you know.”
Flowey turned back to the screen as he looked the image over. After months of living here, this was the first time Luna talked about him in such a way.
With a greatly exaggerated sigh, Flowey pushed the phone back into Frisk’s hands. “Tell her the red one with the gold trim.”
As the month went on, Frisk’s house joined the others in the neighborhood to be covered with various brightly colored lights. Flowey, still getting used to his new emotions, didn’t fully see the point, but it did remind him of Snowdin.
A tree was put up in the living room. A fake tree. Something Flowey was actually glad about. Being a plant himself, having a dead one right in the middle of the living-room, covered in brightly colored, breakable garbage would be… weird.
While decorating the artificial tree, Frisk held Flowey up so he could hang ornaments on it himself. Frisk would hold him up with one hand while passing decorations to him with the other. At first, Flowey just held the item, wrapped up in his vines, and stared at it.
“Flowey? Are you alright?” Frisk asked after a moment.
Flowey blinked out of his thoughts. “Yeah, it’s just… It’s been a long time.” He finally started placing things handed up to him on the tree.
Once the star topper was brought out, Flowey actually volunteered to climb up and put it on, himself.
The tree itself was rather fun to climb, and his small roots only sometimes became stuck, needing help to be untangled.
Frisk’s father Dante also started coming around more often. Flowey actually didn’t mind him. He reminded the flower of Sans, with how chill he was with everything, just minus the awful puns.
“You two aren’t too cold, right?” Dante asked, while the three worked on building a snowman. Truthfully, it was only Frisk and her father doing the building. Flowey was shivering on Frisk’s shoulder and pulling more of her scarf around himself.
“I’m fine,” Frisk started, before glancing at her shoulder.
“I-I’m f-f-fine!” the obviously frozen flower insisted. Before Frisk even asked, Flowey added, “I’m s-sure I don’t want to go inside!”
Dante walked over, pulling off one of his gloves. “It won’t be a perfect fit, actually it might be a bit snug, but can you fit into this?” The glove was held open for him to slip his roots into.
The glove was thick, which made it good for blocking out the cold, and even had fleece inside. Flowey was already climbing out from under the scarf and starting to climb into the glove when his (in his own opinion), stupid, new emotions made him ask, “What about your hand?”
Dante only smiled. Flowey began to see where Frisk gets her normal cheerful smile. “My small friend, I have body heat. You need this far more at the moment.”
Slipping his roots into the fingers of the glove, Flowey folded them over in order to fit. Then, he managed to wiggle his bulb into the hand part. Once he was in, Frisk took her scarf off and wrapped it around and around, and up and down, Flowey’s stem.
He felt a bit like a mummy, but he couldn’t help but sigh, finally feeling warmer.
“Better?” Dante asked.
Flowey nodded. “Yes. Thank you.”
He stayed on his perch on Frisk’s shoulder, but now he was actually enjoying it a bit more. Frisk even held him while he pushed the carrot-nose into the face.
As it continued to grow closer to Christmas, Flowey noticed there were a lot more shoppers running around spending money on everything: from cheap knickknacks to joke gifts and even large TVs. Other than the expensive purchases, it reminded Flowey of Gyftmas underground, only far more … obsessive. Ever since becoming a flower he's not cared too much for physical items, and in fact owns very little himself. Other than his large tub of dirt, which he actually needs to survive, his belongings fit in a single set of drawers and he prefers it that way. But Humans seemed obsessed with getting gifts for each other.
Well, most humans, except Frisk’s family. They put up decorations and had more outings, but Flowey couldn’t find any hint that they were just as obsessed with giving each other things.
The little flower wanted to believe he lucked out and was adopted into the only family of humans who weren’t fixated with giving each other useless dust catchers. Or, if not purchasing crap, who delayed, until a random, specific date, to give someone something they needed: just to have things to unwrap on a single day.
There was further proof this might be the case when the next time Frisk’s father came over, he had modified an extra-large glove to be a perfect fit for Flowey’s roots and bulb. He’d even made a little hat to go over his petals, and ‘Christmas’ was still a few weeks away.
As the days passed and it grew close to the time the rest of the family was due to show up, Luna took Frisk to help her pick out groceries. Flowey was invited along and he actually agreed.
Flowey’s flowerpot sat in the front basket of the shopping cart that Frisk pushed down the aisle. For what seemed like the fifth time in a row, Jingle Bells began to play over the speakers. Flowey snarled up at one of them. “If they play that one more time I’m going to stab someone and use their organs to choke whoever keeps playing it!”
A gasp came from behind the two and Frisk turned to see a little old lady hurrying out of the aisle.
“Flowey… you really can’t say things like that, no matter how much you don’t like something.”
“I’m not really gunna act on it!”
“I know, but just… try not to, ok?”
Flowey only grumbled in response, sinking in his pot.
At one point he raised a vine, pointing at something excitedly. Frisk followed the vine and sighed. It was bacon. “If you keep eating that you’ll eventually get sick of it.” Flowey only grinned and shook his head. She turned to her mother. “Flowey wants more bacon.”
Luna glanced down at the small plant who was sticking out his lower lip in a childish begging pout. His petals sagged down, wilting to seem all the more pathetic. “How about this, I’ll make a deal with you. I will get you one full package all for yourself – you don’t have to share it with anyone.” Flowey’s petals perked up and he opened his mouth to agree. “And tonight at dinner you will at least try your veggies rather than hiding them around the house.” The flower froze and sank down in his pot with a whine. “All you have to do is try them. If you truly don’t like them, you don’t have to finish. And you won’t have to try those same ones ever again.”
After another few mumbled complaints, and which didn’t convince Luna to drop her end of the deal, Flowey finally sat up in his pot a little. “Fiiiiine…”
“Good boy.” Luna gave the flower a soft headpat and grabbed a package of bacon, setting it in the cart.
Flowey took note that it was a large package.
That night when they all sat down for dinner, Flowey grimaced at the vegetables on his plate. Ones that this time, he wasn’t allowed to hide, and claim he ate. Grumbling, Flowey sniffed them first. They didn’t smell too bad.
“Only a bite. If you truly don’t like them, you don’t have to finish,” Luna reminded him.
Coiling a vine around a fork, Flowey stabbed at a brussel sprout like he was trying to kill it. He sniffed it again and checked it over like he was looking for something. Finally he shut his eyes and bit into it.
It didn’t taste terrible. In fact it actually tasted pretty good. They weren’t just plainly boiled in water: Luna cooked them with all kinds of spices. Soon Flowey finished that sprout and stabbed another.
Luna had a knowing smile. “Well? Not as awful as you thought?”
Flowey nodded. “Yeah Mom, they’re good.” He froze, petals lowering and cheeks going pink with embarrassment. “I-I mean Ms. Garcia!”
Luna regarded the flower with a thoughtful expression, but didn’t draw attention to what he’d called her. He was still trying to hide his face behind his petals as it was.
Finally the other people Frisk had warned about starting appearing. The one Flowey guessed was ‘Aunt Maxine’ was the first to arrive. She showed up with two identical kids who were both younger than Flowey and couldn’t have been older than six. While Frisk’s aunt greeted Frisk with hugs, her children instantly took a liking to the flower, one of them rushing over and scooping the flower up into a hug. Flowey squirmed, but as these were the youngest humans he’d ever met, he didn’t bring out his thorns to aid in his escape.
That being said, if they continued hugging him like he was some sort of stuffed toy, the thorns were going to pop out anyway: completely out of his control, in self-defense.
Frisk took note of this and rushed over, carefully easing the flower free. “Guys, guys, careful! You can play but please be careful. Flowey’s a flower after all. Play gentle.” Flowey climbed up Frisk’s arm and onto her shoulder in an attempt to be out of their reach. However after glancing back and forth from Frisk and the two kids, he started snickering.
“It’s kinda funny how six year olds are almost as tall as you.”
Frisk sighed in frustration before lifting Flowey from her shoulder and placing him back on the floor, much to his dismay.
“Sally, May, this is Flowey. He’s my best friend so please be gentle with him. Don’t pull his roots, or petals either. That would hurt him.”
As the two girls nodded in unison, Flowey looked up at Frisk in disbelief and horror. “You’re leaving me with the gremlins?!”
Frisk bent down, patting him on the top two petals and head, an action he’s grown to accept. “You’ll be fine, they aren’t gremlins. Plus, you’re older than them. Technically if you play your cards right, you’ve got a pair of minions!” The tone Frisk used was light and humorous, showing she was just joking. However when she went back to greet Marco and his twin siblings Martin and Darcie, cousins who had just arrived, Flowey grinned up at the two human children.
“You heard her! I’m older than you, so that makes me your boss and you gotta obey my every order!”
The two little girls looked at each other and then back down at the smug looking flower. “Ok Mister Flower.” May said? Sally? Flowey couldn’t tell the twins apart.
And….’mister’? Flowey blinked in confusion before shaking his head. At least that was easier than he thought –
“– But only if we can hug you and you’ll play tea parties with us!”
Flowey deadpanned. Oh, these girls were good, he was starting to see how these brats were related to Frisk. Grumbling, Flowey’s top two petals flattened like an annoyed cat. “Fine. But don’t hug me so tight and be – careful!”
On Flowey’s last word one of the girls scooped him up again. Although instead of grabbing his stem, she had actually picked him up gently, holding him much like a baby, supporting his bulb and roots, rather than just letting them hang. The flower grumbled more as the other girl patted his head, ruffling his petals a little.
A click that sounded suspiciously like a camera phone came from the direction of Frisk and her other family members.
“Is that better, Mister Flower?”
“Drop the ‘Mister’!” Flowey demanded, making an irked sneer. “And it’s Flowey, not Flower!”
Eventually the irritated plant had to use tape to label the girls with either an S or an M in order to tell them apart.
That night everyone went out for a meal. They all dressed up fancily: Frisk put on a glittery red bow and a green dress, and even Luna was wearing a dress as opposed to her usual suits.
While Frisk helped Maxine get Sally and May into their own dresses, Luna walked over to Flowey with the ribbon she’d texted Frisk about a few weeks earlier. “Would you prefer it on you, or around your pot?”
Flowey looked at it for a moment before lifting his head high enough to allow her to tie it around his stem. Once she had finished, Flowey attempted to peer down over his lower petals to see how it looked. He couldn’t see much more than the tips of the bow: his petals were too large to see over.
Luna stepped away to get a mirror, then held it up for the flower. “Adorable, see?”
Flowey’s face dusted with a light pink at the comment while he inspected himself in the mirror.
When the family left, Flowey left his flowerpot behind. He decided it was easier and more enjoyable to ride to dinner on his favorite perch: Frisk’s shoulder.
At the restaurant there was a mix of human and monster customers, as well as staff.
“Franziska, dear, are you the one who has brought everyone together like this?” one of her grandmothers asked, after the group was seated at a large table.
Frisk winced at being called her full name, but instead just nodded. “Yes, Grandma Anita.” Frisk tilted her head to the quiet flower on her shoulder. “Flowey’s done a lot of help too!” He sank a little on her shoulder at being brought into the conversation. “He’s a big help in meetings.”
“What is the flower?” asked one of her grandfathers. “Is it your pet now or something?”
Flowey glared at the old man while his petals lowered. Before he could say anything, Frisk beat him to it. “He. And no, he’s not my pet, he’s my best friend – actually at this point he’s like my brother now, actually.”
That seemed to only confuse the old man further. Luna turned to him.
“We’ve taken him in, sort of like an adoption, though nothing official.” She paused, turning to look at the small flower who now was listening to one of the cousins, Darcie. They seemed to be saying something about his petals, from the way they pointed to them. Flowey once again developed an embarrassed blush but nodded in thanks. Luna turned back to her father. “Yet anyway. It’s something I still need to talk to the little guy about.”
During the dinner, Frisk had to order Flowey some hot chocolate to help keep him awake. Despite this, he still ended up falling asleep, curled up in the girl’s lap.
“Is he ok?” Frisk’s Aunt Maxine asked. “He’s not been out of dirt too long, has he?”
Frisk shook her head. “He’s ok. Shortly after bringing him to the surface he synced up with the sun so he tends to get tired soon after it sets.”
“What does he do in the morning when waiting for everyone to get up?”
Frisk turned to little Sally at her question, before glancing down at the small flower in her lap, petals closed over his face, and then sighed, looking back up. “He, uh, he plays the role of a rather interesting alarm clock.” Frisk forced a weak grin. Interesting alright. If you could call being yanked out of bed by vines or flicked with rubber bands ‘interesting.’
“What’s that mean?” May asked.
“It’s like what you two do for me on your birthdays and most weekends,” Aunt Maxine intervened, helping Frisk out a little. Frisk nodded.
“Oh! Ok!”
After dinner, everyone either returned to wherever they were staying, or went back to Frisk’s house. Upon getting home, Frisk planted Flowey in his large dirt tub, being careful not to wake him up. After removing the ribbon she tucked his sweater around him as a blanket and pillow.
As days went on, Flowey still didn’t see all of these family members doing any shopping. They went to a lot of places: plays, movies, playgrounds and even sledding – Flowey actually liked the sledding until he fell off it and face-planted in the snow. But no one was doing any shopping. It would make it easier if they didn’t care for presents: there were far too many family members now. But everyone else in town seemed obsessed with buying things. Maybe they’d secretly gotten things already and they’d be annoyed with him for not taking part in Christmas, and buying gifts too.
It didn’t help that all of this togetherness, on trips out, or with everyone all staying in, was hard on Flowey. It was difficult for the little flower to really enjoy a lot of the activities, being too confused. Instead he spent more and more time hiding upstairs in his and Frisk’s room.
Dante took notice of this. Heading upstairs, the man knocked on the open door-frame. “Hey mi hijo, are you ok?”
Flowey looked up at the man, with a slight head-tilt, not sure what he was just called, before finally shaking his head.
“Is it something you’d like to talk about?”
Flowey hesitated for a moment. “Um, yeah – but I don’t want the others to hear.”
Entering the room and closing the door, Dante crossed the floor and sat down next to the little flower. “What’s wrong?”
Flowey’s petals wilted. “I don’t wanna make everyone mad at me. I mean, I don’t think they would be, but everywhere else I look, everyone’s always buying everything! Normally I wouldn’t care about these kinds of things but - but with these emotions and feelings I do care! And I like this family I’ve been allowed to join so I don’t wanna be a disappointment! But there’s so many people and there’s no way -”
Flowey hadn’t even been aware he had started having a word-vomit until Dante patted him softly.
“Hey, hey, it’s ok. No one will be angry or upset with you.” The man smiled warmly. “It can be a little confusing with how everyone pushes “the right way” to celebrate Christmas, but we do things a little differently than what’s marketed. While there are some decorations, we don't actually do the whole gift thing. A long time ago we all decided that getting the family all together and spending money on doing memory-building events rather than buying gifts is far better than just giving items someone will lose interest in a week later.”
Flowey’s petals perked up a bit. “Really?”
Dante nodded, “Si, mi hijo. If there’s something we know for a fact someone wants, and they don’t need it right away, sure. But there’s no focus on it.” At the flower’s relieved sigh, Dante smiled. “Feeling better?”
“Yeah. Thanks.” The flower paused before adding, “Um, what do you keep calling me?”
Dante chuckled. “Mi hijo, it’s Spanish for ‘my son.’” Flowey’s petals lowered again, though he didn’t look upset, the opposite really. “Frisk’s mi hija, my daughter, and she thinks of you as her brother, so it only makes sense, no?”
Instead of responding, Flowey raised his vines, silently asking to be lifted up. Once he was up, he curled his vines as best he could around Dante’s shoulders in a hug. When he pulled his vines back, he asked to go back downstairs to join the others.
Dante carried Flowey downstairs, and as soon as they saw him, Sally and May ran up. It took Flowey a moment, but he noticed they were wearing the tape initials he’d made for them.
“Flowey! There you are!” May cried.
“We were worried!” Sally exclaimed.
“What were you doing up there for so long?” they asked at the same time.
Flowey blinked at them before climbing down from Dante and onto May’s head, which made the little girl giggle. “I was, uh … planning a game! You two are my minions, right? I was planning a new game to play!” Flowey pointed a vine forward. “Onward!” The two girls giggled and rushed off.
The game soon had the other family members laughing because of how little sense it made. Every few seconds Flowey would make up a new rule, sometimes contradicting earlier rules. At one point, the game required only touching furniture, and another rule involved hopping on one leg.
This game went one for a while and only ended when the three of them were worn out. Both girls crashed out on the couch, with Flowey napping snuggled between the two. So he wouldn’t get sick, Frisk carefully placed the two vines that weren’t wrapped around the little girls’ wrists in one of his flowerpots so he was at least somewhat in some dirt.
At one point there was an ‘ugly sweater’ contest. Flowey started giggling as soon as he saw Frisk’s: A bright red sweater with white lettering saying ‘I’m not short, I’m a tall elf!’ That was until one of her cousins, Martin, shoved a small sweater on the little plant. It was green with what looked like a Christmas tree design. The top of the tree reached the neck hole, making his golden petal-framed face the ‘star topper’. The others were also pretty bad, covered with reindeer and snowmen, but Flowey declared Cousin Darcie had to be the winner by having taped a mirror to the front of their sweater.
For the remainder of the family holiday reunion, Flowey started to finally enjoy himself. Not only did he join in more often, but he even suggested things. One was for everyone to have a sledding race where he served as the referee. For the grandparents he let them interview him for plant facts only a sentient flower could give them.
The actual Christmas Day was surprisingly calm. Everyone stayed home watching movies and playing games. Flowey suggested a game of hide and seek and used his small size to his advantage.
Two of the grandparents taught Flowey, Sally and May a few board games, something Flowey thought would have been boring. Soon he was really into the games, especially the one with dice inside a plastic dome, asking to play again right after someone won. And he didn’t care who that was. He just wanted another game.
As New Year’s rolled around, Frisk darted out for a few hours and when she returned she held what looked like a collar of some kind up to Flowey. He looked at her like she was holding up a dog turd. “No, listen. Alphys made this. She said it should be able to help keep you awake after dark.”
The grimace didn’t leave his face.
“It can be hidden under a scarf or something,” she added.
“Why?”
“Fireworks!” Frisk grinned.
Flowey only blinked. “Firewhats?”
“You’ll love ’em, but they’re only done at midnight – after dark.”
Flowey rolled his eyes and huffed. “Fiiiine. But it has to be hidden. I don’t wanna be seen wearing a collar. This is why people think I’m your pet!”
Frisk clipped it high on his stem so it would also be hidden by his petals. “Alphys first suggested adrenaline injections. Would you have preferred that?”
Flowey nearly squeaked. “The collar’s fine!” He paused, then added, “How will it keep me awake though?”
“She said it leaks adrenaline and when held to you like this, should soak in through your plant cell walls – kinda like when people wear patches to quit smoking where a little bit soaks in. She said it also might make you smell vaguely like oranges.”
Flowey groaned but allowed it to stay on.
That night after the sun set Flowey actually did have more energy. Being awake after dark, Flowey insisted on being wrapped up in as much warm clothing as he could be, practically becoming a ball of cloth, and going out to look up at the stars. One of the grandfathers, André, Luna’s father, soon joined the flower outside.
“You like stars huh?”
Flowey only nodded, still looking up at the sky.
André carefully sat down on the porch steps next to the flower. “You know much about constellations?”
Flowey shook his head. “Not really. What’re those?”
“Patterns and pictures made up of stars. Sailors use them to have something familiar to help lead them back home.”
Flowey finally pulled his attention from the sky to look at André. “Really?”
The elder nodded. “Of course. When all you can see is ocean and you have no idea where land is, it’s important to have a beacon to focus on or you could end up just going around in circles and be lost at sea.” The man turned his gaze up, searching for a moment. He finally raised his hand and pointed up. “Do you see those four bright ones and the few going off to the side?”
Flowey looked back up trying to find the stars being pointed out. Finally he did. “Yeah?”
“That’s the big dipper. When I was about your age. …” He paused, looking down at the flower. “What is your age?”
Flowey grumbled before answering. “Ten.”
André nodded. “When I was about your age, I was hiking with a friend of mine and we got lost. I remembered it wasn’t right above us but to the right when we entered the woods and we used it to finally lead us back home.”
“Wow…” Flowey breathed.
The old man watched the flower staring up at the sky for a moment before adding, “I have a few books on constellations back home. When I get back I’ll send you one.”
Flowey’s focus shot to André. “Really? Thank you!”
Andre’ responded by reaching over and patting the flower on the head. “You’re a good kid.”
As it grew closer to midnight, the family filed into a few cars and drove to what looked like a large open field. A bunch of other people were there already and Flowey asked Frisk to hold him: with so many scarves wrapped around him, he was far too round to sit on her shoulder.
“Where’s this fire going to be?”
Frisk giggled. “You’ll see.”
And see he did. At some point a few people started counting down. Shortly after the crowed reached ‘1’, something from the field streaked up into the sky, tracing a grey line in the dark.
It exploded into a flower of color in the air. Flowey actually gasped. As more shot up and exploded into colors, Flowey’s attention was glued to the sky, staring up with wide eyes.
“Happy New Year, little brother,” Frisk said, giving the flower a quick kiss on one of his petals. He was more focused on the bright rainbows of color in the sky.
The fireworks, however, marked the end of the family get-together.
The next day, he was actually sad when it was time for everyone to leave. Especially Sally and May.
Sally and May tried to both hug the flower at the same time, and Flowey tried to do the same with the two girls.
“I’m gunna miss you Flowey!”
“Me too, Flowey!”
His petals lowered and he just kept trying to hug the two.
Maxine piped up with, “We’re only a few towns over, girls, it’s not like you’ll never see him again.”
Flowey perked up at that. “Really?” He giggled. “Maybe I’ll visit you two next!”
The girls nodded.
“Yeah!” May exclaimed.
“We can show you around our house and play more games!” Sally added.
Flowey nodded. “Sounds fun!”
The two girls each gave the flower a petal kiss before leaving with their mother.
Once everyone had left, Flowey climbed up on Frisk’s head.
“You enjoy your first Christmas on the surface?” she asked, trying to look up at the plant.
“Yeah, but it’s kinda nice having the house quiet again.”
Frisk’s giggled, reaching up to give him a soft pat and petal ruffle. “Most family reunions are like that. Fun while they’re going, but…” she sighed. “Nice when they’re over.”
They sat in silence a few minutes. “Frisk?”
“Yeah?”
“Can we do that again next year?”
Frisk laughed, and patted him again. “Sure.”
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stuck || sebco
Who: @fabsmythe & @snapshotxdelrusso
When: 31st January
Notes: Franco is having a panic attack and Sebastian comes to check on him. Conversations lead to a potential future
Triggers: Abuse, Sex is assumed and Panic Attacks
It wasn't easy getting to Franco's apartment. At least it was more tedious than normal. In fact, Sebastian had broken a lot of rules getting there but he didn't care. Eventually, he started shouting at his driver in French and his driver finally gave into the horror that Sebastian was putting on her. He arrived at Franco's nearly 45 minutes after the last message. It wasn't something that he wanted, but it was the best he could do. He shifted out of the car seat and tapped the window. He gave a command and the driver went away. Sebastian pulled his hoodie over his head and walked up the stairs. He knocked at the door and then tried the handle to see if it was unlocked. "It's me." Sebastian shouted.
Franco had left the door unlocked when he'd gotten the news and he was sat on the floor, tears running down his face as he struggled to breath properly, "H...Her..re" he managed to get out as he rocked a little, he didn't feel like a strong person, he felt weak and pathetic and he wanted to scream and shout but he couldn't even find his words anymore
When Sebastian opened the door without the other, immediately, he ran to Franco's side, leaving the door to shut him self. He reached into his pocket and was about to call 911. "Hey, hey, monsieur." Sebastian cooed in a soft tone. "I'm here." He moved quickly to wrap the other in his arms.
Franco fell into Sebastian's arms, "Don't call for help" he spoke, his voice shaking, "I can't go back to hospital" he whispered, "Please don't make me go back"
Sebastian put his phone face down on the floor and attempted to lift up the other. He was careful in his support as he brought the other to the bed so that they weren't on the floor. Sebastian kept his arms around the other. A body guard came up and discretely closed the door to the apartment. Sebastian peeked out before focusing his attention on the other.
Franco let Sebastian move him to the bed as his body felt like it wanted to give up. He was sad, he felt like he couldn't make the decision himself and he clung to Sebastian like his life depended on it
Sebastian's fist twisted into Franco's shirt, making sure that he had the best grip on him. Using all the strength he had, Sebastian pulled him close so that he could feel Franco's body warmth next to his. His other hand, he used to rub the other's back gently.
Franco's hands were balled into fists, his head buried into Sebastian's shoulder as he tried to calm himself down, "Why can't he just admit what he did" he spoke, his voice shaking and quivering, "Why is he putting me through this"
Sebastian was glad that Franco was on his left side. "Because he's ruthless baby doll. It's okay. It'll be over soon, it'll be over soon." Sebastian's voice turned softer than usual.
Franco wanted to scream at the world, wanted to fight anyone who came near him but instead, he sat clutching someone he felt like he'd forced into all this, "I'm sorry you have to deal with this"
"Shhh." Sebastian cooed. "Focus on yourself. It's all going to be okay." Sebastian's long slender fingers smoothed through the younger man's hair. Still, Sebastian kept his fist balled into Franco's shirt and his body encompassing the other, using his large tall body as an advantage.
Franco felt like he was breaking, "I just don't get it... How can he say I was happy?" he asked, his tears slowing, "I was never happy Sebastian, I wasn't happy"
"Exactly, nobody is going to see that." Sebastian reminded him. "They're going to know he's a liar just by looking at you." Sebastian rocked their bodies gently, making sure that it was completely controlled. "This wasn't your fault and you don't deserve it."
"It was though. When they ask why I entered into a relationship, they won't believe me when I say he was gunna fire me, everyone said he seemed like such a good person" Franco explained as he felt Sebastian's hands on him, "That I was making it up"
Very naturally, Sebastian unballed his fist, moved his arm down Franco's arm and twisted his hand into the other's and kept his motion going. "And they're wrong." Sebastian reminded. "You're not making it up and they're going to all say that. But you know what it was really like."
"If no one believes me, he walks free" Franco said, defeated as he pushed himself backwards, letting himself rest against the headboard as he kept a grip on Sebastian's hand, "And I have to move again"
Sebastian knew how these things worked. He watched it happen so many times and he was even asked to come defend somebody. This is what they did. "I believe you. And if you can convince me, I think you can convince them. You're not alone."
Franco sighed as he watched Sebastian, "Look, I can't pretend that I am OK and I gotta hope the courts see I am not" he whispered as his hands started to slow on the shaking and his breathing started to level out, "I'm scared"
"Honey, nobody needed a detective to tell that you're not okay." Sebastian stated. "I know, but I'm here for you. I'll protect you."
"Yeah but they need to believe I'm not OK" he whispered, "And I've been trying to pretend I am. I don't wanna be weak anymore"
Sebastian squeezed his hand and listened. Maybe there was something he wasn't hearing or something he wasn't thinking of. "What do you want to do?"
"What do you mean" he asked, looking up wide-eyed to the other, "What do you mean, what do I wanna do?"
"I mean, what do you want to do about this?" Sebastian asked.
"About New York?" He asked.
"The whole thing?" Sebastian asked. "What do you want the end result to be?"
"I want him to go to prison" he said with a nod, "I want him to never be able to touch me again" he whispered
At the answer, Sebastian nodded. "How can we put this hussy in jail then?"
"I don't know. I have to make sure they believe me" he whispered
Sebastian grumbled as he leaned in to hear the other. "What did you say?" Sebastian asked.
Franco looked up, "I have to make sure people believe me" he spoke again, "You really wanna come with me?"
This time, Sebastian made sure to tilt his head left to hear him better. "I really want to come with you." Sebastian told him in confidence.
Franco nodded, "Then I'll go" he spoke with a nod, "I'll go as long as you come"
"I booked the flight already." His lips curled into a sweet smile for him. "I even saved a seat for you in first class if you want it."
Franco gave a soft laugh, "You got me a seat in first class?" He asked with a bite of his lip
"Yes sir." Sebastian told him. "have you ever been in 1st class?"
"I was never allowed to book my own flights so what do you think" he said with a smile
"What man would ever allow his boyfriend to sit in that sort of filth of public class?" Sebastian puckered his lips. Maybe this was bad taste, but Sebastian couldn't help himself.
Franco raised am eyebrow, "Erm, the kinda man who would kick the crap out of me" he spoke with a gulp, "Can I ask you something?"
"You already did." Sebastian answered.
Franco shook his head, "It's fine, I won't ask" he spoke with a nod
Sebastian laughed. "Love, don't hang me like that."
Franco closed his eyes, "Would you... Would like... Would you be interested in going on a date with me?" He said, the words hard to come out after everything with Jake
Sebastian was a bit thrown off by this. He didn't think that was the direction. He puckered his lips at the question and tilted his head. A smile curled on his face. "I would love too." He eventually answered.
Franco was stunned he'd not thought Sebastian would be interested, "For real?"
Sebastian's toes hung over the edge of the bed. Even though Franco had a large bed, Sebastian still couldn't fit properly on it. It was one of those unfortunate things. Sebastian put his leg in between Franco's legs and hummed. "Even though I have a hearing issue, it seems like I have to repeat myself a lot." He said in a teasing manner. "And this cute little innocent school boy excitement, super hot."
Franco found the position odd, he'd not laid in bed with anyone since Jake and he gripped Sebastian's hand, "I'm sorry, I second guess myself a lot" he admitted, "Cute innocent school boy is kinda what you get with me"
Sebastian couldn't help the giddy laugh that evolved out of his throat. He let go of Franco's hand and went up to stroke through Franco's smooth hair. "Well, lucky me then." He responded. "And how about you tell me about what kind of date you'd like to go on?"
Franco moved his head into Sebastian's hand, wanting to feel the man's touch, "I don't know. Maybe like, dinner and a stroll through the park?" he offered. He'd not really done dates before so he was basing it on the cheesy movies he's seen.
"Classy." Sebastian commented, his grin huge on his face. It's been a while since he had attempted to really date anybody. Mostly one night stands, but really, Sebastian didn't really know what to make of it either. "Maybe a nice Italian Restaurant, fine wine?" He said, egging on the thoughts that would take the other away from his troubles.
Franco nodded, "Italian would be perfect, I haven't had good Italian since I left Italy" he smiled as he looked to the other, "Then we could find a nice little spot or we could get a car to the beach and take a stroll along and watch the waves?"
Sebastian hummed with Franco. "Love, what if it was in Italy?" Sebastian thought aloud. He was of course completely serious. "Do you have your passport love?"
Franco's jaw dropped, "In Italy? Like actually going to Italy for a date?" he asked, not sure if that was normal, "Well yeah, I fly all the time so I have to have my passport"
"Why not love?" Sebastian asked him. "From New York, we just to Italy and we send a week in genuine leather and floating down the river, leasing this miserable country behind us."
"Cause no one has ever asked me to go to Italy with them before" he said quietly, "After New York, sounds like a good time to go, god knows I'll need it"
Sebastian brushed his cheek with the other as sort of a butterfly kiss. "Love, don't get to use to it, because you have the most alluring surprises."
"Alluring surprises? What does that mean?" he asked with a frown, his issues with words showing now.
"Alluring means seductive." Sebastian answered as he continued to brush through Franco's hair.
"So you give seductive surprises or I gotta learn too?" he asked, still moving his head into Sebastian's hand
"No." Sebastian snorted. His hand showed as he pressed his smiling face into Franco's. "I mean it's sexy to see you surprised."
"Oh right" he said with a nod, "Your face is really close to mine" he said with a slight whisper, licking his lip
Sebastian tilted his left ear up again. "What?" Sebastian asked.
"Your face" he said a little louder, "It's really close to mine" he spoke as he bit down on his lip
Sebastian nodded. "It is." Sebastian leaned his face and let their lips match. He puckered his lips out to capture the other's perfectly.
Franco felt the breath leave him as Sebastian kissed him. The man was gentle, which is what he needed right now with his wounds and he kissed back, his hands moving so they could touch Sebastian, "Thank you" he spoke against the others lips
Sebastian chuckled against the other's lips before he dove deeper into the kiss, squeezing his eyes shut. His large hands went to Franco's body to feel over the bumps and bruises he had. "You're going to strong for this." Sebastian told him. "I know you can."
"I can do it if I got people who believe in me" he breathed as he kissed the other back, for once not ashamed of his scars
"I believe you. And in my line of work, you have to admit that there are a lot of snakes."
Franco nodded, "Lots of snakes, Jake just topped the chart"
"Agreed love." Sebastian's neck relaxed onto the pillow. He started to stroke Franco's cheek. He bent his leg up so that his shoes were no longer dangling over the edge of the bed. He adjusted himself so that he was a bit more comfortable, realising he hadn't moved since he had come in to put Franco on the bed
Franco sighed into the touch, "I never imagined being able to lay like this with someone again"
Sebastian tilted his head to Franco with a sly smile on his face. "Oh? Well, looks like somebody was wrong." Sebastian said bluntly. "And really? With that handsome mug?"
Franco gave a little laugh, "Yeah looks like I was. I just never thought I'd get past the Jake thing. Handsome, me... Don't be silly"
"Seriously, this whole bashful act is completely sexy." Sebastian cooed as he looked down at the other.
Franco shook his head, "I'm not even sure what you mean right now" he said bashfully
Sebastian snickered and wrapped himself around Franco again. He hugged him tighter than normal and leaned into his ear to whisper. "You're too much." Sebastian then turned Franco's mouth so that he could engulf his mouth. Sebastian merged carefully, moving his hands under Franco's shirt.
Franco felt his eyes flutter as the other kissed him hard and the hand went up his shirt, "God, your touch" he spoke out, "Crave your touch"
Sebastian continued his actions. He couldn't quite hear what the other was saying, he wasn't pushing and shoving at him to stop. He moved so that he was on top of the other, putting his hand all over Franco's trim body. Even though it was bruised, Sebastian was excited to feel the smooth patches of skin. Soon, his slender fingers moved into Franco's pant, reaching for his smooth cute butt that Sebastian would discreetly look at while they were together.
Franco was groaning at the actions and when Sebastian went to his pants, he gasped out, "Feels so nice, gentle hands" he breathed out, hands coming up to Sebastian's hair as he kissed the other
Very carefully, Sebastian pressed on, kissing all over Franco's body. Even as they glided into more in depth territory, Sebastian moved slowly and with as much control as he could muster.
--------------- SEX ASSUMED ---------------
At the finish, Sebastian fell on over on the large mattress, bare naked. He moaned with satisfaction as his breathe started to calm down.
Franco had enjoyed himself and Sebastian was super gentle with him. He was panting when they were done and he sighed as he took a breath, "That was amazing" he spoke, remembering not to whisper
"I know." Sebastian breathed out. "It was me." He couldn't help but laugh at his own boosting. "And you were also fantastic." As their bodies cooled off, Sebastian went to pull the sheets over them. He also put his arm underneath Franco's and brought him close.
Franco moved into Sebastian and he took the overs hand, bringing it onto his chest, "So erm... What does this mean?"
Sebastian leaned his head onto the pillow. "It doesn't have to mean anything love." Sebastian told him. "Or it can mean whatever you want it to mean."
Franco paused, "I meant for us?"
"I know. That's what I meant." Sebastian opened his bright green eyes. "It means what you want it to mean."
Franco shook his head, "I don't know... I don't know what it means cause I don't wanna get hurt again but I don't wanna watch you go around with loads of other people"
Sebastian sighed out. How had he got caught up in this so fast? Maybe it was just the fact that he wanted to help Franco so much? He rubbed his temple. "I've attempted exclusive before, and let me tell you, it doesn't work out so much. But, I will make an effort for you." Sebastian finally told him. He knew it would hurt him if Sebastian wasn't truthful from the beginning. Plus, the other had to know from multiple tabloids that Sebastian wasn't exactly made for monogamy.
Franco sighed, "Don't do it then" he said with a nod, "I can get over it. I don't wanna convenience you". He took a gulp and rolled onto his side, "I'm not gunna make you give up your lifestyle just cause I need someone Sebastian"
Even though Sebastian was known for his ruthlessness, he still felt a tinkle of guilt whenever things like this happened. He pressed his lips together as he watched the other flipped over. He thought for a minute how he would fix this. "I don't want you to think that you don't have a special place in my heart." Sebastian sat up. He hung his head as he thought of more words. For once, they didn't flow out of him like they normally did. "And I don't want you to think that you can't come to me. I will do anything to help you."
Franco sighed, "Sebastian, don't try and be something you aren't. You have needs, I get it" he spoke with a gulp, "Would I see you as a boyfriend, yeah but if you can't commit I can't do that" he said, biting his lip a little
Sebastian sucked in some air. "Even if I was ready for a committed relationship, do you think that you're ready for a relationship?" Sebastian asked with a bit of worry in his voice. "I figured that you just got out of a very... nasty situation and you're... still not done with it. You think even if we got together that it would be beneficial to you?"
Franco rolled over so his feet were over the side of the bed and he sat up, "What's beneficial for me is not having to do this alone... I went through shit so who are you to decide if that means I am not ready? I just want like... I wanna feel loved OK" he said, his voice starting to break, "I wanna feel like someone fucking wants me"
Sebastian grumbled in frustration. "Ooflala." He trilled harshly in his french mannerisms. His words came out controlled. "I do want you.. I just have to be honest with you." He sighed out. "I think it's because that we really just met last week..." Sebastian kept his eyes on Franco's back. "You have to admit that we're working a bit fast. I really didn't have the goal of coming over here and having sex. Though it was the highlight of my year so far."
Franco took a deep breath and shook his head, "Yeah OK but you've had one night stands before, telling me they move to fast?". He paused and looked at Sebastian, "You want me but you want to be able to sleep with others, that's what this is right?" he asked, "I was stupid to even ask you for a date. I'm glad I could give you an award winning night"
"No, that's not what I'm attempting to get at. I'm just saying that there have been times that... I've been unfaithful. Or I've made some decisions that might have been better if I were single." Sebastian warned. He sucked in some air as he admitted to this. He should've known this. Sebastian nearly built his social persona out of being the resident play boy. "Hey, hey, now. Don't be like that. Okay..." Sebastian put his hand through his hair. Damn did he fuck this one up. He sat in silence as he ran through scenarios in his head. He could do it right? He could enter into a relationship? The problem was how Franco was now, he couldn't get around it. This could be dangerous. He balled his hands into his fist and had a clump of hair in his hands. Sleeping with Franco was a mistake and that was only thing that he could think about in that moment. "I'm sorry, I went too far." Sebastian finally stated. "I still want to go on that date. And I can..." He took in a breathe. "Try. I am willing to try if you are willing to give me a chance."
"Yeah well if I'd had the chance I would have been unfaithful too Sebastian" he said with a nod as he finally looked at the other, "I got hurt so much by Jake and for me to even wanna put one egg in someone's basket, that should be a big deal". He gulped back his emotions and nodded, "I can't help it OK". "If you'd gone too far, I would have stopped you" he spoke honestly, "I would have told you no but I didn't cause I thought it was what we both wanted". He paused at the words, "Why don't we say, between now and the trial, you do what you need to do, an open relationship of sorts? We go to the trial, we go on the date and if we hit it off, then you try, you try and be faithful, you try and commit to me?"
"Oh, I knew you were a player." Sebastian praised with a huge smile on his face. He made sure that when Franco turned around that he was sitting there and staring at him. His green eyes connected with those deep brown hues. He couldn't lie, it made him melt a little on the inside. "I know." He reached down for Franco's hand and hoped that he'd take it. It wasn't that they couldn't be close? Right? In the past week, Franco had entrusted Sebastian a lot and now he was on the road to keeping that trust. He felt like it was his duty. "I did want you, just wasn't thinking too clearly on what it meant." He breathed out and nodded. "I would like that a lot. It's a bit better than my anxiety was betting on."
Franco rolled his eyes, "I wish, if I could have played the game I could have gotten out of there quicker then I did" he said with a small smile. He looked down at Sebastian's hand and gulped as he took it in his own, "I'm sorry". "So that's the plan yeah? We do this open thing for a few weeks and you get it all out of your system before Italy?" he asked, "And if you hook up with someone, I don't wanna know".
Sebastian gave him a broad smile and moved to lay down next to Franco. "Thank you." Sebastian said to him as he wrapped his warm naked body around Franco again. This time, he didn't let go as he rested his head. "Oh? You don't want to know. I'll just turn off your news feeds now."
"You gunna make it public?" he asked with a raise of his eyebrow, "Cause that's not classy at all".
"We're going to stop talking about this.... now." Mostly because Sebastian didn't want to get into more trouble that he was already in. He gave Franco another butterfly kiss before he settled into the same pillow.
Franco shook his head with a scoff, "Don't make it public, that will rub salt in legit all my wounds" he said with a sigh as he cuddled up with Sebastian
"Oh, I think that's the first joke I've heard you make." Sebastian said proudly with closed eyes. They were starting to become heavy.
Franco shook his head, "Yeah well... Come on, before you sleep make me that promise, that you won't publicly flaunt your conquests"
"Yes, I will not purposefully publicly flaunt my conquest." Sebastian genuinely promised to the other.
Franco nodded and he sighed as he closed his own eyes, "Goodnight Sebastian"
"Goodnight love."
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I have a lot of fucking feelings about you that I’ve held in for so long man. Like. I can’t talk about you without my mum getting mad and my dad telling me they don’t want to hear about it.
I never got to fucking get over it and shit because I was made to be quiet and I don’t even wanna fucking do that but now it’s too late and nobody will listen.
I hate scrolling down my time line and seeing your shit come up, because i don’t know how to feel.
And every time I see your stupid selfies with your dead eye stare I get so many fucking feelings I don’t even know what I’m suppose to think and what I’m actually feeling, they drilled into my head what they wanted me to think and feel about what you did that I don’t even know if I have my own opinion on it man.
I want to kill you and I want to hug you and help you but I know neither of those are possible.
I spent so much fucking time trying to help you, talking you down, jumping on a train whenever you called, I skipped so much school for you because you told me you couldn’t cope, and that you were gunna go there and do exactly what he did, and yet, it was all bullshit. I spent everyday with you because that’s what you said you needed, but it wasn’t.
All you did was lie and use me, you took everything I had and when I had nothing left to give, you just moved on, to the next dumb ass bitch that you could manipulate and screw over without them even knowing it.
I still fucking remember being stood at your bedroom door on the night before everything exploaded, you were just sat there, I don’t know if you realised what was happening but I looked at you and I fucking knew this would be the last time I’d ever see you again, I knew it. And it made me want to literally die, because that’s how dependant you had made me on you.
Before I met you I had so many friends, my parents trusted me, I had so much good going on, and when I walked out that damn room I have no one, I had nothing and no one.
And that’s your fault, but it’s also mine. I let it happen, I knew it was going to happen deep down. I could see it on occasion when I was sat on my bathroom floor alone and you wouldn’t reply to me because you were off doing anything you could get your hands on, I could see it. In those moments where you weren’t there, I could see that I had no one to call, because you made me drop them all, it was a slow process so I didn’t notice at first. But even when I knew, I would ignore it. Because I didn’t want to think of you as anything other than the angel I had once thought you were.
I was so desperate to keep you how you were the first day I met you that I sacrificed everything I believed in.
And anyone would call me crazy, but they will never see it from where I stood, they will never know how much fucking power you had over me, they’ll just think I was desperate and naive.
And it’s probably true.
But I stand here today and I know half the shit I do is still affected by you and how you made me into your little puppet.
I can still remember being in the bathroom with you, was about 2 am, you were dizzy and kept saying you would die unless you sat in the bathtub, so i ran you a bath and you sat in the water with all our clothes on i wasn’t sure how that would help but i stayed with you, I sat in the water with you because that’s what you needed. I told you I wanted to go get my mum, but you wouldn’t let me, you said they’d take you back to unit 06 for another week and you didn’t want to be away from me again, I knew I was bullshit, it was never about me, you never cared about me.
But I ignored it. You told me you’d be ok and of course, you were right, you always were.
I had to clean up after you that night, but by then I was use to it, I was use to you getting so fucked that you couldn’t keep anything down, I think the McDonald’s situation was my least favourite.
People were looking at you and it was so obvious why you were sick several times all over the table. I felt sorry for you, I shouldn’t have, it was your own fucking fault but I did, I still cleaned it up though. Your stupid girlfriend that I envied so much left you sat in your own vomit, saying “i deal with that throw up stuff” before leaving with a stupid smile on her face finding it all so fucking hilarious I wished I could of left, just walked out and given a shit, but I cared too much, so I cleaned up, apologised to the staff for you, took you to my home so you wouldn’t get a beating from your parents, Washed your jeans, and made you dinner. I did that for you, and you didn’t even say thanks, I let you sleep in my bed, I let you stay the night even thought my mum had refused several times because we had school the next day, but I didn’t care, I just wanted to help, I convinced myself she just trying to annoy me and that she knew nothing but that wasn’t true, you were the bad one.
I hated everything you did. You told me you loved me, you told me I was pretty and that we would end up together because that’s “how it’s suppose to be” but you never meant it, you just told be it because it’s what I wanted to hear, it was wrong of you, I wouldn’t have cared if you’d said ‘hey I don’t love you and we will never date but wanna hook up?” That would of been so much better, I wouldn’t have felt not good enough, I would of understood the sitation and kept it platonic. But nope.
Honestly I have no more to say, like, I do, I have a million things to say, I haven’t even got my feelings out about half the shit you put me through yet but it will have to wait until I get so mixed up in my emotions I just type without thinking again.
Goodnight.
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