#gonna have to be carried out the cinema i fear

[zer0point5ive]

wearing my sorry for being insane about john and amanda. it will happen again t shirt to go see saw x

[slashingdisneypasta]

Horror House Reacts... to Zoo Animals!

.I've been watching Robert Irwin and Dave Salmoni take wild animals onto the Jimmy Shows and scare the Jimmy's and various other guest stars sOooooo... I had to make this XD

Plot: We are gonna hand each horror Villains a dangerous animal and see how they handle it. Warnings: Swearing. No actual mention of meerkats despite the gif.

Audrey II: A European Brown Hare.

Audrey II, staring at this hare stood up on its hind legs giving them the Eye: ... that is one ugly bunny rabbit. Y/N: AUDREY TWO!!- Audrey II: wh- AM I WRONG?-

Audrey II has no fear, they're a plant from outer space. He also doesn't particularly care for animals though, since its pretty globally accepted that animals are allowed to eat plants when they're peckish... and understandably, they are not having that. Not in this green house XD Nu uh, no siree, nope nope nope, the hare is gonna get eaten first if he even looks at Audrey II wrong.

Billy Loomis: An Emperor Scorpion.

Y/N: Close your eyes and put out your hands. Billy: ... *sigh* *does as he's told as to not be called a coward* Y/N: *Places the scorpion in Billy's cupped hands* Open them! ^^ This is Phil, he's very chill. Please don't drop him. Billy: ... heheh, can I keep this?? Y/N: ?? What??? No, you cant keep Phil- Billy: I wanna leave him in Stu's bed. Y/N: DEFINITELY not-

Billy, is... *sigh*, a teenage boy.

Bubba Sawyer: A Red Kangaroo.

Bubba: *Very cautious, looking at this jacked foreign creature. He's never seen anything like this, he lives in buttfuck nowhere Texas with no tv.* Y/N: Here, Bubba. *hands Bubba a bouquet of gum leaves* Offer her these. Bubba: *Unsure, but approaches the weird pocketed creature and offers out the branches... Quickly calms down when the kangaroo starts simply munching on the leaves* Y/N: See? ^^ Bubba: *Already petting the kangaroo. Wants to take her home and keep her safe and pet her and give her leaves forever.*

Bubba does not love casually 😅😅😅 Once he's warmed up to someone, that person is his family and he wants to keep them safe. My suggestion?? Sneak the kangaroo back to the zoo in the dead of night while Bubba's asleep. (or call Drayton. He certainly don't want no goddamn kangaroo in his house)

Carrie White: A Boa Constrictor.

Carrie: Um, is this safe?? *Eyeing the snake's head closely as you place her gently over her shoulders* ... Y/N: Oh yeah, don't worry, this one's a sweetheart ^^ Carrie: Okay... *snake raises her head and looks around very peacefully, just surveying the room* Oh, she's sweet!... Y/N: She seems very comfortable with you! Carrie: ! Really??

Carrie was apprehensive at first, but when she realises that the boa is not feeling threatened (or hungry), she relaxes and spends quite a while with the snake in her arms! ^^ She's disappointed when she has to say goodbye ):

Chucky Lee Ray: An Eastern Canadian Moose.

Chucky: *staring up at this giant fucking creature, clearly ready to run at any second if the thing makes an unpleasant move* ... You have gotta be fucken kidding me. Y/N: Nope. This is Jessica-Mae! She's from Canada, and she's really nice. I think she'll let you sit on her back, if you wan- Chucky: No I don't wanna sit on Jessica-Mae's back actually Y/N, Jessica-Mae is a fucken monster- Y/N: c h u c k y

Chucky has a... healthy cautiousness when it comes to wild animals XD He does like tarantulas, though.

Freddy Krueger: A West African Lion.

Y/N: Okay so for this one, um, I'm uh... yeah I'm gonna step out. Freddy: ... wait. Wait wait wait. Why are you- *You close the door one side of the room and as soon as the lock clicks into place, the lion prowls in on the other side* Freddy: Oh. Freddy, hands out like 'i mean no harm': ... nice kitty Freddy: ... um. I saw the lion king. It was... a great piece of cinema; your people should be proud. Freddy: ... please don't eat me, you giant son of a bitch.

Freddy was SO EXCITED to meet an animal, but now he's got some concerns about those teeth and his privates.

Jason Voorhees: A Ussuri Grizzly Bear.

Bear: ... *Staring down Jason* Jason: ... *Staring down Bear* Bear and Jason: *Staring each other down* Y/N: ... *Wondering if you should do something* Jason: *Suddenly walks over and gives the bear neck scritches*

... this is a giant toothy puppy to Jason XD Jason loves wildlife, they were his friends growing up in the woods! ^^ And he knows how to keep them calm, so he's very good with them. He hangs out with the bear until its time to go outside, then Jason follows him outside and hangs with him out there ^^

Jennifer Check: A White Rhinoceros.

Jennifer, as soon as Grizelda the rhino steps in: -oh jesus fucking christ. Jennifer: You're fat. Y/N: Oy! Jennifer: What??? She's meant to be, right?? 🙄 G o d... look who's animal-cist. Jennifer: ... can I feed the fat bitch?

The fact that this is an animal does not change a thing about the way Jennifer talks to her XD She is so fascinated, though, and wants to feed Grizelda, pet Grizelda, ask many many questions about Grizelda... she loves her.

Jerry Dandridge: A Perentie Monitor Lizard (Goanna).

Y/N, helping goanna onto Jerry's lap: Now, be careful with Sandy, he can be kinda easily startled and then his claws will cut into your skin, and- Jerry: *Getting along great with the Sandy, Sandy is in the best mood you have ever seen him in; purring.* Y/N: ... Y/N: ... wtf, how?! Sandy's usually so grumpy!- Jerry: Oh I guess we just have a connection~

Jerry and reptiles get along great, they're cold blooded and he... is always cold. He has no blood. He's a vampire XD Try giving him a puppy, though, and watch that puppy leap away from him and growl like a possessed thing (Jerry gets so frowny about it XD).

Michael Myers: A Bengal Tiger.

Michael: *Stock still, actually considering running for the first time in 50 decades* Tiger: ... *yawns* *prowls over to Michael and lays on top of his feet, promptly falling asleep* Y/N: ... um. Well, I think she likes you?? Michael: *Does not move an inch for 3 hours while the tiger naps, staring at it*

Michael, just like cats... is a bitch. They basically adopt him into their family as their big dumb weirdo child (Yes, even the big terrifying ones) and there is not a thing grumpy old Myers can do about it XD

Pamela Voorhees: A Silver Fox.

Pam: *Loves the fox. Sitting in her chair and leaning down to give it treats. Cooing at her.* Y/N: You're so good with her! ^^ Pam: ~Stay away from my son, dear, and I wont have to sick her on you~ Y/N: ... D: What?

Pamela and a sharp toothed creature is a dangerous combination. Stay away from her son.

Patrick Bateman: An African Savanna Elephant.

Patrick: *A too-big smile glued to his face as he strokes the dirty wrinkly elephant* This is... this is fun... Y/N: I knew you'd like her! ^^ Anna is so sweet, and gentle, and quiet, so- Patrick: -You cant tell when I'm fucken lying through my t e e t h!?

Patrick doesn't like any animals, they're wild and filthy and break irreplaceable things he spent hard-earned money on to be unique, but he will force a pleasant face because that is what he does

Pennywise: A Mountain Zebra.

*i was tempted to do a turtle but... seemed too obvious XD Still unsure i made the right call*

Penny: Heheheheh, whats black, white and- Y/N: Don't do it. I swear. Dont do it. Penny: Okay okay okay, I'll be serious. Hey, why do zebras have stripes? Y/N: Oh, well they developed stripes because- Penny: Because they didn't want to be Spotted!

Penny c a n n o t s t o p m a k i n g z e b r a j o k e s. Otherwise, he's pretty good with the zebra. No problems ^^

Stu Macher: A Somali Ostrich.

Stu: Heheh... Y/N, these things don't bite, do they?? Y/N: Oh they totally do. *Hands Stu the leash* Anything with a mouth bites. Stu, levelling his gaze with the giant flightless bird: ... I will bite you back.

Stu is a little chicken, but he's also really curious!! XDD So sure, he'll hang onto the leash and feed the monster bird!! But he will absolutely crouch down and cover his head if the ostrich starts fluttering his wings. And don't you dare leave him XD

Tiffany Valentine: Baby Nile Crocodiles.

Tiff: Chucky!! We have new children now!! Chucky: THE FUCK WE DO- Y/N: N- no... you cant keep them actually... Tiff, ignoring you and Chucky: The kids are gonna love these ^^ Come on, sweethearts, into the sack, single file now- hey, Trudy, no biting your brother-

Tiffany is in love XD And you know how one-track-minded she can be when she's in love XD

[thealmightyemprex]

Universal Monster watch through thoughts part 1

So I have a 30 film set of Universal Classic Monster movies.What I am gonna do is every five films is share my thoughts,not really reviews but just thoughts

1.Dracula 1931

The first black and white film I saw as a kid .Its a capital C Classic for sure....But its never been my favorite,and there are many other Dracula adaptations I prefer .I think my big issues are Johnathan and Mina here are just so boring,while some of the silence is eerie I find most of it awkward and the ending just suuuuuuucks,we dont even get to see Dracula's death .That said four things make this film worth while ,one is the gothic vibe is peak here ,then you have Dwight Frye who is a scene stealer as the deranged Renfield,Edward Van Sloan who is a perfect heroic foil to the titular character as Van Helsing and of course Bela Lugosi as one of the most iconic villains ever,mesmerizing ,suave,seductive and yet still eerie .Its got flaws but Its good parts are so good,mainly those three performances

2.Frankenstein 1931

The movie I say is responsible for me being a horror fan and truly my favorite horror movie .Lets get this out of the way,Boris Karloff delivers one of the greatest performances of the genre ,cause he isnt a big scary monster,hes a lost child in world that fears and hates him .I actually feel this is a good film to show kids,as kids really connect to the plight of the Monster .Karloff is not the only highlight,James Whales direction is superb ,the moments of silence are actually eerie,the film looks gorgeous ,gotta praise JAck Pierces extraordinary makeup and Colin Clive gives a phenominal performance as the obsessed creator .Only thing I am not fond of is the tacked on ending .The opening however is brillaint with Edward Van Sloan warning how scary the film is and his ominous "We warned you "

3.The Mummy (1932 )

Man I wish I liked this film more then I do.Like its not bad but not a favorite .Theres a lot of good in this movie,cast is good ,Zita Johan is a good leading lady,Edward Van Sloan is always a plus ,and Boris Karloff gives a nice undestated performance as our villain Imhotep ,with some legit frightening shots of his hypnotic glare .Jack Pierces makeup is extraordniary ,the production design is good ,there is some legit shocking pre code stuff like a bunch of guys getting impaled .I also like the angle of it being a dark love story with Imhotep just trying to resurrect his lost love .Also has the scariest scene in a Universal Monster movie so far ,when Imhotep awakens and scares a guy into madness .Unfortunately its slow pace ,David Manners as the Boring Pretty Boy protagonist ,the weak love story between Manners and Zohan ,and the fact that plot wise it is WAY to similar to Dracula hold me back from fully loving it.ITs still good ,I just dont love it

4.The Invisible Man (1933)

James Whale hits it out of the park again with another great film .Claude Rains gives a powerhouse performance ,which is really impressive cause you dont see him for most of the movie ,hes either just a voice or bandaged up yet he carries the whole film as one of the best villains in all of cinema .The effects for being 91 years old look pretty damn good ,the film has an amazing supportinjg cast including Gloria Stuart ,Henry Travers and ESPECIALLY Una O Connor and to top it all off,the film is HILARIOUS.I mean it folks this film has an amazing sense of humor,from being very witty,eccentric character to examining the absurdity of the premise .One of my favorites

5.The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

While Frankenstein is MY personal favorite,I TOTALLY get when people say this is the BEST of the Universal Monster movies ,as this is a masterpiece .Also DEFINATELY a queer classic(Happy Pride ) .The performances are great with the stand out being Ernest Thesingers wonderfully comic and camp villain Pretorious (So far my favorite non monster character in these films ) and of course Karloff at his best giving an utterly heartbreaking performance as the monster ,his scenes with the blind man bring a tear to my eye .Thats really the word to describe the film,heartbreaking ,the filmmixes tragedy,horror and humor so experetly .Also Elsa Lanchesters role as the Bride is so brief but is rightfully iconic and the ending is utterly magnificent

Ranking so far

5.Mummy

4.Dracula

3.Invisble Man

2.Frankenstein

1.Bride of Frankenstein

To be continued

@ariel-seagull-wings @the-blue-fairie @themousefromfantasyland @theancientvaleofsoulmaking @piterelizabethdevries @countesspetofi @princesssarisa @barbossas-wench @amalthea9

[linkspooky]

what are your favorite scary movies?

THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT

This is the most predictable response for top found footage movies list, but some things are popular because they're good. Blair Witch shows wat is good about found footage as a medium because you get to follow these college students who just act like regular people deteriorate in real-time. There's no narrative behind it like a normal story. You just see them wander around trapped in the woods with no end in sight.

The scare doesn't just come from the monster that may or may not be there lingering just out of sight, but your concern for the characters that you have spent long enough time to grow attached to. It's distressing to see their distress. There are some horror movies that scare because they make you dread the inevitable fate of the characters, you wish for their survival but you know it's not happening so you just watch hope get slowly peeled away from the characters. The scariest quote of the movie is just one girl giving into her despair as she's lost in the woods.

Heather Donahue : Everything had to be my way. And this is where we've ended up and it's all because of me that we're here now - hungry, cold, and hunted. I love you mom, dad. I am so sorry. What is that? I'm scared to close my eyes, I'm scared to open them! We're gonna die out here!

"I'm scared to close my eyes, I'm scared to open them" is just such an emotional statement to make.

PSYCHO

The shower scene in Psycho literally changed cinema permanently, and is probably one of the most scary thoughts that a film maker has preyed upon that someone can just bust in when you are traditionally naked and vulnerable like that

Psycho is far scarier however for the reasons underneath the surface of the film. This video analysis does a good job of eplaining what made me love Psycho.

Psycho is famous for doing the protagonist switch, the movie starts out as a typical thriller about a woman who stole money to elope with the man she's having an affair with until she stops in a strange motel on the side of the road. What makes the shower scene so shocking itself is because Janet Leigh who played Marion was a big name star at the time. No one was expecting her to get killed halfway through the movie, and no one was expecting the movie to turn into a horror in the first place.

The way the protagonist changes, from Marion to Norma, just goes to show the foiling between the two of them as illustrated by the above picture. Marion smiles like this at the beginning of the movie when she believes she has gotten away with her crime. Marion begins the film as an ordinary, slightly put-down woman who succesfully bamboozles all the men in her life and makes her escape because practically none of the men expected such deceptfulness in such a tame woman.

Norman at the end of the film smiles like that while the "mother" personality speaks in his head, informing the audience of her plan to play innocent to try to deceive the detectives that have arrested Norman.

At that moment the two of them display the term uncanny in its true Freudian sense.

"For Freud, fear comes from a natural progression of phantasy, so that the uncanny is not just the familiar turned unfamiliar but also the childish wish turned monstrous. It is Marion's quest for fantasy and respectability by running away and marrying her lover, that leads her to the Bates MOtel, where she encounters Norman a manifestation of respectability turned pathological."

The uncanny is the connection between Marion and Norman that manifests here, the same way an unseeming woman can flip around and turn money, the unseeming man she meets in the hotel can turn out to be her killer.

CARRIE

The single best Stephen King Novel, Carrie simply tells the story of a girl who snaps, but it tells it so well. There are a lot of ideas in play in Carrie, including the inhuman actions of bullying itself and how it's perpetrated by everyone in Carrie's life just making the collective decision just not to treat her as a person basically no reason.

The pointless cruelty of what happens to Carrie. The logic of Carrie having to be bullied, because she's ugly, because she's socially awkward, because in the book she's fat and pimply. Also, the hidden underlying reason for all of Carrie's strange behavior at high school being that she's relentlessly abused at home, and that not a single person in school cares or shows empathy for her. They've all just made the collective decision to either ignore what's happening to her, or take part in that cruelty.

This is what makes the pig's blood falling on her at the prom such an effective scene, because o the pointlessness of that cruelty. Carrie was finally having a moment of feeling like a normal girl, and several bullies had to go out of their way to kill a pig and set up that prank just to humiliate her further. They also thought there'd be no real consequence afterwards, they just get to keep beating down on their bullying victim for the satisfaction fo it.

Carrie is also a character that blurs the line between victim and perpetrator. She is both the monster of the story and the main character. It's like if the creature of the black lagoon was a teenage girl. The moment where she snaps the audience feels far more for her than they do the innocent children she's massacring, which is kind of the whole point of the story to blur the line between how much of Carrie's rampage was her own fault and her own fault, and how much of it was caused by the way people around her treated her.

TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE

There's so much themes and meaning in a movie that basically got famous for a guy wearing a leather mask who chases a woman around with a chainsaw.

The whole movie takes place in what's basically a post-apocalyptic landscape, even though it's just the declining rural America.

"Hooper's apocalyptic landscape is ... a desert wasteland of dissolution where once vibrant myth is desiccated. The ideas and iconography of Cooper, Bret Harte and Francis Parkman are now transmogrified into yards of dying cattle, abandoned gasoline stations, defiled graveyards, crumbling mansions, and a ramshackle farmhouse of psychotic killers. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre [is] ... recognizable as a statement about the dead end of American experience." Charon Charett."

This is what American Gothic looks like. It's a man chasing you around with a chainsaw.

Leatherface and his family are victims of capitalism, and the dry, dusty desert and the ruins of an old farmhouse the main characters spend most of the movie journeying through are the wreckage left behind by American capitalism. The movie is basically about the cannibalism of capitalism, using slaughterhouses as a metaphor and treating human lives as callously as the way the animals marched into slaughterhouses to be killed and made into meat is treated. Their house parodies a typical wholesome farm home, but everyone inside of it are murderous monster.

The themes of the exploitation of women in this movie are so strong too, especially the ways their bodies are both sexualized in brutalized not only in horror movies but in society at large are also right on point. There's the reason that the ending scene to Texas Chainsaw Massacre is so legendary and it's because despite representing the "final girl trope" Sally Hardesty, chased, terrorized, tortured over the course of the movie does escape but her experience has completely mentally broken her.

[whatharrysang]

Harry Styles & feeling

Harry Styles

Carolina - Feeling oh so far from home 

Carolina - She feels so good 

Two Ghosts - Sounds like something that I used to feel 

Two Ghosts - Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat 

Two Ghosts - I'm just trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat 

From the Dining Table - He said you feel just fine

Fine Line

Golden - But I, I can feel it take a hold (I can feel it take a hold) 

Golden - I can feel you take control (I can feel you take control) 

Watermelon Sugar - I want more berries and that summer feelin' 

Watermelon Sugar - I want your belly and that summer feelin' 

Falling - And I get the feelin' that you'll never need me again 

Sunflower, Vol. 6 - I don't wanna make you feel bad 

Canyon Moon - Carry the feeling 

Treat People With Kindness - Maybe we can find a place to feel good 

Treat People With Kindness - Find a place to feel good 

Treat People With Kindness - I got a good feeling 

Treat People With Kindness - Feelin' good in my skin 

Harry's House

Late Night Talking - If you're feelin' down 

Matilda - But I know that you feel like a piece of you's dead inside 

Cinema - Don't know why, but it feels so right to me 

Daydreaming - It just feels right 

Boyfriends - You feel a fool

Songs Harry wrote for other artists

Just a Little Bit of Your Heart - And I don't feel the need to 

Just a Little Bit of Your Heart - I don't ever tell you how I really feel 

Changes - 'Cause I don't wanna feel like I don't know you anymore 

One Direction Songs Harry wrote on

Everything About You - I still feel it every time 

Everything About You - The way you make it feel, new, new, new 

Summer Love - Feels like snow in September 

Story Of My Life - She told me in the morning she don't feel the same about us in her bones 

Happily - And if he feels my traces in your hair 

Right Now - I love this feeling that right now 

Right Now - You know I can't fight the feeling. 

Right Now - And every night I feel it. 

Right Now - I'm feeling like right now 

Where Do Broken Hearts Go? - Tell me where you go when you feel afraid? 

Fool's Gold - That's not the way it feels 

Fool's Gold - That's not the way you feel 

Stockholm Syndrome - But I feel I'm getting used to 

If I Could Fly - And pain gets hard, but now you're here and I don't feel a thing 

If I Could Fly - I can feel your heart inside of mine 

If I Could Fly - (I feel it, I feel it) 

Olivia - Say what you're feeling and say it now 

Olivia - 'Cause I got the feeling you're walking out 

A.M. - Feels like this could be forever tonight 

A.M. - Feels like this could be forever right now

Unreleased Songs

Already Home - We’ve been stealing, moments, feelings 

Don't Let Me Go - 'cause I'm tired of feeling alone 

Endlessly  -  I feel stronger

Half the World Away - Tell me you don't miss this feelin' 

I Just Wanna Love You - You know what it feels like 

I Just Wanna Love You - Tell me it don't feel alright 

Jesus Christ, Happy New Year - Feel no fear you’re older now 

Jesus Christ, Happy New Year - I don’t feel at home anymore 

Lately  -   Not just gonna skip another feeling 

Lately  -  And I still don't know why I'm calling, I've been feeling fine, l'm falling, out

Make My Day  - They make me feel wanted, make me confess 

Medicine - And up to your mouth, I'm feelin' it out 

Medicine - I'm feelin' it now 

She Got Away - What I feel, what I feel, I feel for her  

Spanish Girl  -  Feeling, you might not sleep anymore

Talk - Sick and tired of me, I can feel the heat 

Too Much Sauce - I'm a good time, make you feel alright 

Too Much Sauce - Have a good time, make you feel alright 

Too Much Sauce - 'Cause I'm a good time, make you feel alright 

Too Much Sauce - (Good time, make you feel alright, keep you up all night, you'll never want it back) 

Trouble - But I feel like I do sometimes 

Try Honey - She said "you make me feel so alone" 

Try Honey - It feels like I'm slipping away 

Try Honey - Feel lucky when I lay next to you

[itsmymeaningoflife]

I know it’s weeks late but 11x20 review

* the flashbacks of Daryl and Carol moments through the seasons and Carol being a badass is making me sob

* Look you know I’ll always be a Caryler through and through but Zeke might have been one of the best thing for Carol. He was genuinely sweet and loving and open with her and she needed that. But like I say. Caryl for life

* That’s my queen 🥰 fighting off those men with a baking tray and a rolling pin was ICONIC

* Carol is so pretty when she’s running from the Law

* Hell yeah Carol went straight off to find her man (went off to find Daryl even though Zeke go nabbed from right under her nose might I add. I see you miss girl)

* Daryl bro that’s a bit embarrassing that you’re getting choked out.

* Carol handing Daryl’s crossbow back to him🥺

* Shut up Pamela I literally don’t care

* Okay Yumiko go off. Smack that bitch

* DOG NO

* Daryl immediately trusting Carol in her plan to get Hornsby >>

* Once again I ask myself - is Tommi hot or is he just British?

* On a side note Tommi and Yumiko are amazingly cast siblings. They look so similar (even down to the CHEEKBONES) and have similar mannerisms

* CONNIE!! Hey girl!! Long time no see. I need more Connie and Kelly content. Best sibling duo

* Oh my lord I will never be over how seamlessly Daryl and Carol can work together without even speaking a word

* Hornsby is cracking the fuck up Jesus

* Daryl bro Hornsby looks like he’s enjoying being choked out a little too much

* Carol pushing Daryl off Lance was SO FUCKING HOT

* DARYL WATCHING AS CAROL SOFTLY THREATENS HORNSBY AHHHHH

* Lance asking Daryl to carry him was the funniest fucking scene ever why did no one mention this. I’m pissing. I had to pause the ep. The slightly unhinged flirty undertones? The pissed off but slightly taken aback look on Daryl’s face. Carol man handling him. Cracked me up

* The brief

* shot of blood covered Hornsby with Daryl over his right shoulder and Carol over his left is a beautiful piece of cinema.

* Carol stopping in fear when Daryl is being shot at— not much phases this woman but put her man in danger then she’s gonna panic

* “Not without you!!” !!!! The looking back at each other as Carol leaves!! The final glance!! The fear!!! God these two

* Daryl’s look of relief as he watches Carol leave!!! Knowing he might die in this shoot out but knowing that Carol made it out is enough!! The brief sigh and droop of his head as he turns away from watching Carol leave before springing back into action!!! I can’t deal with these two anymore

* Was Pamela really expecting to keep Sebastian’s Walker in that cell forever?? That’s fucked up

* Lance telling Carol that she was right to leave Daryl behind and he was slowing her down…. And asking who else could do what she just did??? Now I’m not saying I agree with Lance… but I low-key agree

* Lol Carol pulling a gun on Lance after he mentioned Daryl is peak simp energy

* CAROL ONE CHANCE IS ALL I ASK I CAN TREAT YOU SO MUCH BETTER THAN DARYL DOES GIRL

* I’m sorry but I’m not that attached to Eugene so his whole story isn’t hitting these emotional beats for me. I do feel bad for him tho

* “It’s hard to find someone like that, someone you’d do anything for.” And then Lance goes on to compare his feelings for Pamela to Carols feelings for Daryl. AND THEN asking Carol what comes after all the trouble at the commonwealth?? Bros I’m not being funny but like… I don’t think cannon is lost just yet. This convo might be important

* “I know you.” Then in the next breath “Will you let the commonwealth burn?… yeah of course she will. Any of our group would for the safety of their group

* Lance, I’m telling you now, DO NOT hold the kids well-being over Carols head

* That slow mo peely Walker was v cool

* THE MUSIC!!! THE RELIEF ON CAROLS FACE WHEN DARYL SHOWS UO TO SAVE HER!! The shot of him walking through the light!!! Her Guardian Angel!!

* Hell yeah they did get away!!

* Okay Yumiko pop off. Big respect

* That look between Carol and Daryl when Lance mentions the tracks and the train

* Lance stfu these two don’t need you for a single second

* My parents are so hot when they threaten Lance in tandem

* Daryl stepping forward like an attack dog the second Carol says “we’ve heard enough.” They’re so in sync I love them

* Yes Carol take him down. I love her. Nothing but respect for my queen

* Carols little disappointed shake of her head as she gets into the truck after killing Lance honestly makes me think she respected the game he played. He made the wrong choice in the end tho

* Oh my god have they drugged them all?!? That’s awful

That ep was brilliant. A bit bitter sweet knowing we could’ve had way more of that content in the Caryl spin off but what can you do about it aye. Hope isn’t lost just yet

[lovely-v]

LOTR (films) Review

So I finally watched the LOTR films (20 years later). I’m super excited to review these because I read the books very recently so I feel at least a little prepared to voice some opinions. Overall I loved the films, here’s a very long (but by no means exhaustive) compilation of my thoughts, which are of course, totally subjective:

(Warning: a lot of me saying “well, actually, in the book...”)

THINGS I LIKED

- Casting! not much to say here, I thought the casting was great. One of my favorite actors that I didn’t think i’d have a huge opinion on was David Wenham as Faramir. I was kinda ambivalent on him when I saw pictures but i thought he did a great job. he showed his quality.

- Music. so much has been said about the films on the music front. I can’t offer too much original insight but when a bit of the Shire theme started to play as Frodo tries to make his way up Mount Doom I cried a little.

- Boromir and Aragorn. I liked the scene where they interact a little in Rivendell. I also like how Aragorn saves Boromir in the Moria battle and gives him this little nod of friendship. I think the films did a great job portraying the dynamic they have where Aragorn is clearly suspicious of Boromir’s motivations but grows to respect him to the point where he doesn’t even blame Boromir for being corrupted by the ring because he understands that, at heart, Boromir is a good person. 

- Sam and Frodo in Osgiliath. I expected to be kind of annoyed with the way this plot point played out (I knew ahead of time that it strayed from the book), but I actually liked it a lot. As I’ll say later, there’s some gripes I have with the way the films extremely play up the disagreements between Frodo and Sam, but I loved the scene where Frodo pulls the sword on Sam and then seems so defeated when he realizes what he’s done. I was pleasantly surprised by how emotional this scene made me. It’s admittedly A Lot, but it was done nicely, especially in conjunction with Sam’s “there’s good in this world” speech.

- Treatment of the ending. I almost think I should dislike the ending as it is in the movies, but my heart is soft and I like that they sugarcoated it a bit. I know the whole point of the Scouring of the Shire and Frodo’s depression conveys a lot about war and trauma and I think that is important, but after watching these things for twelve hours I just wanted Frodo & co. to be happy and I was kinda relieved that they cut the Scouring. Does that make me weak and perhaps bad at film analysis? yes. do I care? no. I was also very glad that the movies didn’t portray how depressed Sam was about losing Frodo in the end. Yes, he cries, but when he walks home to his family he seems happy and in the books that scene came off so much bleaker. I definitely liked the lighter tone.

THINGS I WAS NEUTRAL ON/DIDN’T LIKE

- Arwen. (Neutral) I don’t hate her, I don’t love her. I think the story she and Aragorn have is compelling and I 100% get why the filmmakers decided to add it to give her character more depth, but it felt misplaced at times. maybe it’s just because it was the only storyline I didn’t know in depth, but the scenes with the Arwen/Aragorn flashbacks felt a bit confusing and disorienting. Don’t have anything against Arwen as a character though, I think she’s pretty alright.

- Gimli. (Complicated thoughts) I want to start off by saying I don’t dislike Gimli. I like him a lot! I just think the movies did him a bit dirty. He had some good movie-exclusive moments, but I think his character really fell into this place of being the butt of too many jokes. Would have liked to see some more serious Gimli development, especially with his relationship to Legolas. Their friendship felt too much like subtext here, whereas it’s explored far more in the books.

- Two Towers Pacing. (Didn’t really like). The pacing of TTT was...weird. maybe I’m going into this with a closed mind because of the books, but it was odd to have the movie begin with Frodo and Sam and then have them only appear for a few rapid scenes after that. I think the fact that a WHOLE LOT of what happens to Frodo and Sam in TTT is moved to RotK is what makes it feel that way? In the books, Two Towers ends with Sam discovering that Frodo isn’t dead from Shelob’s sting, and I was surprised by how long it took the movies to get to that part. However, I will give the films a little leeway because I think they needed Frodo & Sam content for RotK, since most of what happens in that book is them walking through Mordor basically starving and dying. Doesn’t make for great cinema I guess, so they had to put the whole Shelob/Cirith Ungol saga into the final film. Still, I think there’s a weird lack of Frodo and Sam’s presence in TTT.

- The go home/missing bread arc. (Full of rage abt this one) yeah. so. my criticism of this is gonna sound pretty tired because people complain and complain about this part of RotK. but I’m gonna complain some more!! I don’t think the split between Frodo and Sam does anything for the plot. I really don’t. I guess it emphasizes the fact that Sam doesn’t understand how much Frodo is projecting onto Gollum, but it’s just. unnecessary angst? They had enough angst in the Osgiliath scene! Which I actually liked! And it simply doesn’t make a lot of sense for Frodo to suspect Sam of eating the bread when Sam had already offered Frodo his own food and made it clear that he would very much starve if it meant making sure Frodo could eat. But what I hate most about this scene is not that Frodo gets mad and tells Sam to go home. No. It’s that Sam actually... thinks about doing that? he actually? goes down the staircase? emotionally this is bad because Sam clearly cared enough about Frodo to follow him this far, to nearly drown for him, so why would he leave now. Practically this is bad because 1. how would Sam get out of Mordor alone and 2. where would he go. He turns around almost immediately, yes, but what was his plan. where was he going. why.

THINGS I LOVED

- For Frodo! This line, and every other shoutout to Frodo. In the books, they didn’t really actively talk about/worry about Frodo (and Sam) as much as they do in the movies. I like that they talk about Frodo more in the movies! I like that they’re thinking about him! I know it was implied that they were in the books, but I really like how it’s shown here. I think it gave a more complete picture of how much they all care about him on a personal level in addition to just needing him to succeed from a pragmatic standpoint. 

- Merry and Pippin! I feel like Merry and Pippin were so well rounded in the films. I’ve heard criticism about them being turned into comic relief characters (which they always were a little bit) but it honestly didn’t feel that way to me. They had a bit of a rough start because the films didn’t make their motives for going with Frodo as deep as the books did, but I think that by TTT they were absolutely amazing characters in every scene. In RotK their respective arcs hit really well and the scene where Pippin is singing to Denethor? *chef’s kiss* poetic. beautiful. sad. idk man I just feel like I have such a newfound appreciation for Merry and Pippin.

- Parallels! people have pointed out the parallel of Frodo and Sam’s hands before (drowning scene/mount doom scene) and I love how the movie did that. Just stunning. Also! The moving of the Smeagol & Deagol scene to RotK surprised me because in the books it was like,,,at the beginning of Fellowship, but I think the placement of it in the movies really helped emphasize the similarities between Smeagol & Deagol and Frodo & Sam (and how much Frodo fears this similarity.) There were a lot of other well done parallels between storylines and a few bits of dialogue that were repeated with great timing, but I can’t remember all of them at the moment.  

Edit: here’s one I remembered! when Frodo wakes up after being rescued and sees Gandalf, he says Gandalf’s name in a very similar tone to the one he used at the very beginning of Fellowship. It was a nice little subtle connection.

- I can’t carry it for you...alright this is self-indulgent. everyone knows I love this line. I’m just so glad it made it into the movie intact. Sean Astin’s delivery was amazing. I cheered. My mom cheered. It’s a raw line and it makes me feel secret emotions...like if shrimp colors were feelings. that line makes me feel shrimp feelings. idk i’m so tired i just watched twelve hours of movies this review is decreasing in quality by the minute but i’m about done for now anyway

Various silly afterthoughts

- I would have liked to see Sam kiss Frodo’s hands at least once. This happens 50 thousand times in the books, they could have given me one scene. one little extended edition scene. Please Peter Jackson I’m dyin’ out here

- They literally made Gollum so hateable. kinda the point yes, but I was so on board with Sam’s murderous rage. I know why Gollum’s a profoundly complex character, I know why Frodo pities him, I know why murder is bad, but I too would throw hands with that creature. also he literally body shamed Sam so much what was that skdjksdjksd. Sam is lovely. let him commit a small homicide. 

- the scene where merry and pippin drink the tall boy juice (as someone once referred to it in the tags of one of my posts)... not accurate to the books (since they don’t ever drink it with the end goal of getting tall) but so accurate to life. if I found some water that made me taller than my friends? let me at it

- Frodo panicking when he falls into the spider webs. so real bestie. i felt just as panicked watching that. i am terrified of spiders and Elijah Wood did an amazing job doing exactly what i’d do in the situation. yelping a lot and falling down.

- I feel like it’s never stated that Sam’s a gardener (or at least that he’s specifically Frodo’s gardener) until he tells Faramir he is. Did I miss this. Or do they really never say.  are you just meant to know. are you just meant to pick up gardener vibes from him.

*

This has been a very chaotic lotr movie review. Thanks for reading.

[queenofgotham800]

Hi! Can you do a Victor Zsasz x reader Fluff? Thanks 😊😚

Off-Duty

(Victor Zsasz x Reader)

Warnings: Grammatical Errors, Swearing

Summary: Victor would like to spend some time with (Y/n), but with his boss, (who by the way doesn't know that Victor is dating someone) is taking a day off really complicated. 

(A/n): Hi, yes of course! Thank you for the request, I hope you'll like it.

Club was loud like always, when Victor pushed through the dancing crowd, walking behind to the big booth in which was his boss sitting surrounded by guests. 

He leaned forward so Roman could hear him through the loud music. 

"Boss, would you mind if I went home sooner?" Victor asked. He wanted to spend the rest of the day with you. 

"Where are you rushing?" Roman laughed and drank another glass of tequila. 

"Home... I have to... Feed the cats," Victor mumbled. 

"You have cats?" Roman asked and Victor nodded. It was easy to lie to Roman when he was drunk, because he quickly forgot all those talks. 

On the other side, it meant that Victor should look after him in this state. You never know if somebody doesn't hide a weapon in their suit or gun under their dress. 

Victor was the only one, besides bodyguards and Roman who could carry a gun or any weapon in the club, he prefered knife. 

"Wait..." Roman walked out of the booth to face Victor.

"Yes?"

"I'll let you go... If you... Let's say... Can get some lady dance before me," Roman smiled. Either way Roman was too drunk, or he was just playing games like always. 

"Boss, that's not much fair since everyone knows you here," Victor mumbled. 

"Well..." Roman looked around the club, looking for new faces. Suddenly he noticed one girl sitting in the booth at the end of the club, alone. She was looking at her phone, dressed in pretty normal clothes. She certainly wasn't here for clubbing and fun. 

"She's new, she doesn't know me. Let's say that who can pull her on the dance floor can do whatever they want next... Whole week!" Roman said, pointing at the girl. Victor's eyes widened from fear, because he already knew you very well. 

"I... Okay," he nodded. 

"I'll go first," Roman smirked and made his way to the booth. Victor saw you smiling and talking to Roman. You were kind and polite to everyone. At least, you tried, that was one thing that Victor loved about you. 

When Roman pointed at the dance floor you shaked head and said that you were waiting for someone. At least that was what Victor thought you said, because Roman walked out of the booth disappointed. 

"Your turn," he mumbled angrily. For one second, Victor really thought it would be better to keep you safe from Roman. But spending a whole one week with you, that was a dream vacation for him. 

He walked to your booth, sitting slowly on the other side of the table. 

"(Y/n)? What are you doing here?" he asked. Roman was probably watching, so he had to approach you slowly. 

"Vic?" your eyes slowly found a way from phone to Victor, "I just thought that if you can't come over, I'll come over, just for five minutes, just to see you..." 

You wanted to grab his hand, but Victor pulled away from you. 

"Listen, my boss is watching. He... Made some kind of challenge or game... He doesn't know who you are," Victor said. 

"I know," you smiled, "He was here like ten seconds ago." 

"He proposed that if I make you dance with me, then I can do whatever I want next week," Victor whispered. 

"That sounds great," you smirked and Victor offered you his hand. You accepted it and walked together with him on the dance floor. You two were dancing and having fun, until Roman didn't approach Victor. 

"You have a week off, but the next one, you'll be here on time. Mrs. D want's the gold that we stole last night and I need a fucking reliable bodyguard. So better be here, or else I'll find a replacement," Roman whispered, his eyes were not leaving you. 

"We can go, c'mon," Victor turned to you quickly and walked together with you out of the club.

"So... We have a week to spend together. What you want to do?" Victor asked you.

"I wasn't expecting that you were free for one whole week, we could go home... Or to the restaurant... Tomorrow we could... Perhaps go to the park or just out," you smiled. 

"Yeah, I would like that," he smiled, "Which restaurant?" 

"You know that one where we met at first?" 

"The Heaven on plate restaurant?" Victor asked. 

It was one nice day, years back, when Roman and Victor visited that restaurant to meet Falcone. You were doing a waitress there, for their table. That was when Victor first saw you. He never kept an eye on girls around, but there was something up with you. After work, when he didn't have to babysit his boss, he went into that restaurant again, just when they were closing at 9pm and talked with you. 

After that, whenever he had time, he invited you on little dates in the park. 

"Yeah," you nodded with blush. 

"I am actually surprised that Roman doesn't remember you," Victor said. 

"Those are years that we saw each other the last time," you rolled eyes, "Of course he doesn't remember," you said, but then laughed, because Victor was actually complimenting you, "Well, thanks!"

"You know what? Maybe we should go just home, we have one week we can do whatever we want," Victor was suddenly nervous. 

"You are afraid that they won't let you in the restaurant with the knife and guns?" you asked. 

"Well, yeah," Victor lifted his eyebrows. 

"Look, you can always tell them that you are Roman's henchman," you joked. 

Victor laughed and pulled you into a small kiss.

"I missed you (Y/n)."

"I missed you too Vic."

"Oh, I nearly forgot," you said, pulling away from him, "check your pocket," you winked at him. 

"Don't tell me you started pickpocketing," Victor smirked and put his hand in his coat. He pulled out one ticket. You held the other one with excitement on your face. 

"What are we watching?" 

"I know that romantical movies are not your thing, mine neither. It's some Horror movie, or maybe action, I'm not so sure," you smiled, "We can drop weapons home and we'll be there just in time."

Victor smiled and put his hand on your back as you walked with him through the Gotham streets. Sun was disappearing behind tall skyscrapers. 

"Wait, did you say weapons?" 

"Do you think I would go to the club unarmed?" you smirked. 

"But... What about bodyguards? And how did you know that I'll be free today?" Victor tilted his head. 

"Bodyguards don't do their work like they should... It's called hidden pocket in coat love," you smiled, "I don't know, I guess that I was just lucky."

"How did you?" 

"I have one friend who works there, she managed to... Well, how to put it. Get your boss drunk?" 

"No you didn't..." Victor laughed. 

"Yes I did," you smiled and watched how Victor unlocked doors. You walked through them and ran up stairs to the small place that you both had. You put the gun in Victor's weapon stand and walked around him. 

"You borrowed my gun?" 

"Yep," you smiled and took his hand pulling him away, "Shall we go?" 

"Maybe we should get really some cats," you smirked when you came across the pet shop. 

"Yeah, maybe we should... Wait a moment," Victor turned to you and you gave him a quick peck on his lips. 

Cinema was full of people already, but you had your seat next to Victor and that was all you needed for today. You put your head on his shoulder, you could easily fall asleep like that. On his shoulder... And the dark that was in cinema wasn't really helping you with keeping yourself awake. 

"Aaaaaaah!!!" Painful screaming cut your ears. You flinched, realizing you fallen asleep. The scream came from the movie, thankfully. Well, this is Gotham, you never know... 

"Babe, you fell asleep?" Victor snorted. 

"Yeah... Probably," you mumbled, tiredly looking on the big screen. 

"I'm gonna tell you later what happened," Victor said and kissed you on top of your head. 

"I love you," you whispered, because you noticed that few people were giving you ugly glares. 

"I love you too," Victor said and kissed you again. 

[omegangrins]

[Kong: Skull Island/Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2017/2019)] Private Reg Slivko = Dr. Rick Stanton

Okie dokie, here we again.

Before we start this one though, I'll admit it's gonna be stretchy. Honestly, the more I researched it, the more I wanted this theory to be correct because the people behind the scenes were sooooo close to connecting all the dots and it was maddening that they hadn't. So with that, I give a push. Hopefully the right people are listening and if not, well it's some fun head-canon. Which is allways the goal!

Tl;dr: After his time on Skull Island, Rick Stanton (who's army nickname was Reg Slivko), motivated by fear and his love of music, got degrees in sound engineering to become a crypto-sonographer so he could be of more use to the world in its defense against M.U.T.O threats.

A lot of places to start but continuing off music is the best. Especially when comparing the characters side by side. This was something I only realized in reading up on it,

but in Kong: Skull Island (KSI and GKOTM as the other one from here on out), Slivko grabs his personal record player out of the helicopter wrecks and carries it with him through the movie. Now that's a level of dedication for a luxurious item that speaks volumes. That thing's heavy. Like, 1980's cellphone-as-luggage heavy. It's an unknown jungle and you've just been attacked by a giant gorilla. Deciding to lug a record player through that is.... well, it's insane. But hey, I begrudge a person their little pleasures. Most of all in moments like that. What's it mean though?

It means that Rick Slivko loved music so much he decided to go to school for acoustics after the army. I mean, that's the point, right? Join the army, get some money and training, and use them to do what you wanted to do [Not that that's how it actually works 😘 ] And why wouldn't he want to get a leg up after seeing everything on Skull Island. That kind of thing gives you some serious life lessons along with a dose of motivational PTSD. It makes double sense too when you realize that in the briefing Reg Stanton was given at the beginning of KSI, the Landsat officers said that they would use bombs to measure the acoustic vibrations in the Earth. Upon learning that too, what's he say?

"Ya hear that, boys?! We're scientists now."

So R.S. got scared, realized that bullets and bombs wouldn't solve the problem and went and got a doctorate to help for real. Stranger things have happened. And really, would you blame him?

"I record everything, man. Everything."

This is why he's such a fan/proponent of Dr. Houston Brooks' Hollow Earth theory and also explains his playful rivalry with Ilene Chen. They all know each other from waaaaay back.

And this is where I'm gonna ask for some audience cooperation. The behind the scenes material is slightly contradictory on what this is saying. Now, according to Gojipedia,

Rick Stanton earned his doctorate while at SETI and THEN met Brooks while working at Landsat and hearing MONARCH rumors. AND amazingly, seemingly missing a good story opportunity, San Lin in KSI is NOT one of the Mothra twins from GKOTM. What the hell?! I'm not sure if it's racism or bad storytelling but I had just assumed she was half of the legacy of twins. It does state though that Ilene and Ling Chen ARE third generation MONARCH so maaaaybe they're the daughters of San Lin and Houston Brooks. But alas, the wiki says those two only had a son named Aaron and the age wouldn't match up. Yet there's still the naming connection. San Lin and Ling Chen. Just like Reg Slivko and Rick Stanton. Private R.S. and Doctor R.S.. Lin and Ling. Coincidence? Perhaps, but there is truth in a name.

So let's throw out a little bit of the behind-the-scenes narrative and fill it in to go just a slightly different direction. What if R.S., Brooks and San Ling Chen all met on Skull Island? Slivko was still in the army so he serves out his tour and Brooks/Lin go off to work for the larger MONARCH. R.S. gets out of the army and decides to do something more with his life. Goes and gets his degree, working at SETI as an intern, slowly building up the knowledge needed to be of legitimate use to a monster hunting organization (Looking for life in space ain't that different from listening for it down here). Eventually he and Brooksie meet up again and they use their prior connections to get R.S. into MONARCH. The rest is cinema history.

This brings into play why Ricko knows and loves the Hollow Earth theory so much. Seen it, been there and done it. Hell, it's the whole reason he got here in the first place and he goes drinking with the man who came up with the idea. His kidding with Ilene Chen? Well he knows her sister and likes to rib the other twin about how she missed out on the Skull Island expedition. Even the man's verbage makes him sound like he's from the 70's, man. Like, you know what I mean, dude?

"Shut up, Rick."

I don't know for sure. When I first had this idea, it seemed like the people making it had thought of it too. So I was a little disappointed to see it wasn't so. Yet... still the idea persisted in me so hard that you're seeing it here now. True or not, planned or forced, the pieces are there for something more. Here's hoping better people can pick up the strings and finish tying this knot.

[zrtranscripts]

Home Front, Mission 8: Peter’s Fitness Montage

Fitness, not fighting

~

PETER LYNNE: Hello, listeners. It's me again, poor old Peter, still stuck in a projection box at the Princess Louise Theater. And since you last heard from me, I have faced my greatest survival challenge yet. Oh um, speaking of, you're going to be facing a few challenges yourself soon, courtesy of yours truly. So um, why don't you start warming up now? A few stretches, running on the spot, whatever gets your juices flowing, as the bishop said to the personal trainer.

Um, yes. Anyway um, in case you've forgotten, the auditorium here is absolutely packed with zombies, but keeping a movie on the screen distracts them. So there I was, looking through the cinemas digital archives for something nice and long, and I found a playlist of every single Rocky movie for a Sly Stallone fan marathon. Except the playlist got stuck and I've been watching Rocky movies on a loop for eight days straight, listeners. I've managed to stop the playlist around the tenth run-through of Rocky III.

I fear I might have gone a bit peculiar. I spent the whole morning on comms to Janine waxing lyrical about Mr. T, but - but it has given me a great idea for a workout, and you'll never guess. It is boxing. Plenty of fisticuff-related entries on my list of Ministry exercises. First, though, a song that'll help you with your warm-up. I'm going to put on some music you can dance around to and really get your blood pumping, and if I am very lucky, maybe I'll finally get “Eye of the Tiger” out of my head.

~

PETER LYNNE: Welcome back, friends. Now I know we're all quite tired of being stuck indoors. Oh yes, although uh, Runner Five, if you're listening, I gather you've had a change of location recently. Locked down in a camping shop, Sam said. Could be worse. [laughs] I mean, you could be me. But let me tell you, my cinematic ordeal has given me the perfect lens for viewing this lockdown. See, we need to not think of it as being trapped, oh no. We can think of this as one extended indoor fitness montage. We are just in that part of the movie where we have to hunker down, crank the volume, and get our pulses racing!

So let's keep our warm-up going with some more push-ups, because if they worked for Rocky, they're gonna work for us. [paper rustles] Right, here is our official technique courtesy of Ministry guidelines. First, I want you to get down on all fours with your arms just over shoulder-width apart, then straighten out your body, supporting yourself on your hands and also your toes. Now lower yourself to the floor and push yourself back up again. Now if that feels too difficult, that's fine. Don't be afraid to support yourself on your knees and lower legs instead of your tiptoes. We are going to try one whole minute of push-ups or as many as you can manage. And go!

Excellent. Don't get carried away. Tortoise and the hare, all of that. 15 seconds down. Don't rush. Take your time with each push-up. That's beautiful. Exactly what we want, I assume. Halfway there. Feel the burn, as the old cliche goes. Never quite understood what that was supposed to mean. Uh, 15 seconds left. Oh, you can taste the finish line now! And five, four, three, two, one, and rest. Done.

All right, well, you should be all warmed up. I'm actually going to do a few push-ups myself in the next music break and you know, feel free to rest or you can keep going along with me. Frankly, I'm finding this music by going through movie credits and I want to be distracted when Cats III comes up next. So stay put, everyone. Your pal Peter will be back after this.

~

PETER LYNNE: Well, my friends, I have a shameful confession. I'm actually starting to miss the Rocky movies. Even the really bad ones, which is something of a tautology, but it just goes to show a person can get used to anything. I mean, Janine told me to emphasize our goal today is fitness, not fighting. Abel runners always do their damnedest to avoid conflict, and rightly so. If you do end up in a scrap, you need to be able to dodge as well as hit, so before we get to the hitting, you are going to practice a move called the side-to-side hop. Not a classic dance move, but it'll help you hone your evasive reflexes.

So to do this, we start by balancing on one foot with your knees and your arms bent. Then you hop to the side like you're jumping over an imaginary line that's between your legs, landing on the ball of the opposite foot. So try that for me. And absolutely fair, if you've got any knee problems or if that's painful, you can just do a grapevine or sidestep instead, totally fine. Okay, now we just keep hopping back and forth across that line, but as fast as you can. See if you can keep that up for a solid 45 seconds. I promise you will find that deceptively challenging.

And we are going to start now. There we go, but don't get carried away. You've set yourself a high bar. 15 seconds down, 30 left to go. Probably starting to feel what I meant now. 30 seconds down. You can pretend that you're dodging punches or - or lunging zombies. There's - there's one on the left. There's one right. Duck, duck, move! And five, four, three, two, one, and stop hopping.

Brilliant work! Right, so that's got our fancy footwork in the bag, and that means we can [metallic bang] Um... Did you... did you hear that? Uh, well no. No, you didn't. And well, of course, no, me neither. Um... It's gone. That's... Okay. I'm going to put some music on so that we can all pretend that that just didn't happen. Uh, you all take a break and relax or um, you know, bust out your best dance moves. Oh, but uh, seriously though, uh, don't overdo it. Because when we get back, it's going to be time to, uh, really get the workout going. Okay? All right.

~

PETER LYNNE: Okay. Well, that's quite enough of that one. Yeah, that - that song always reminds me of a bad breakup. I can't actually remember which. [metallic bang] It's back, and that was - that was definitely louder that time. See, um, I've been hearing some not really great things in this booth, listeners. Sort of... shuffling from behind the walls. You know, I think... something might be crawling around in the, uh, ventilation system. But uh, I mean... I mean, there's definitely not going to be enough room in the ducts for-for zombie. That would be... I mean, unless it was just a half of a zom. Oh God, what if it was just like that? Just like the front half, just like some sort of fleshy gingerbread man just like rolling itself down there, looking for a way out?

Um... yes. Okay, I'm, I am quite scared, actually. Uh, there's nowhere to run in this booth, but we still have exercises like this, which I find are a fantastic distraction. You see, I can immediately pretend that I am a seven foot tall beefcake training to take on whatever that is. Good God, that sounds pathetic when I say it out loud.

Okay, we're gonna have to move on. Um, punches, ladies and gentlemen. [paper rustles] First, you're going to need to adopt a Ministry-approved fighting stance. Hold your fists up in front of you. You have to have your dominant hand held back, and that's protecting your face, and the other hand is extended in order to attack. So plant your feet diagonally, shoulder-width apart, with your knees just slightly bent. Your dominant foot goes to the back. Right, we're going to start with the basic jab. You punch out with your lead hand, rotating your arm so your knuckles end up facing up and your shoulder moves forward. So we're going to do one minute of jabs. If you'd like some variety, feel free to alternate your stance from time to time and then you end up leading with the other arm.

Ready, set, go! There we are, perfect! More aggression, get the anger out. 15 seconds down. You can try imagining a bullseye. Aim right for the center of the target. You could even imagine an actual bull's eye and aim right for the middle of its face. Great. Halfway down, just keep on beating that bull in the face. I don't know what it did to you. I like to imagine that it's taunting me. I don't know what sort of names it's come up with, but they were hurtful and I think it mentioned my mother. 15 seconds left. We're so near the end now, we're gonna get that bull. I'm gonna move away from the bull. You can imagine whatever you like. Jab! Jab! Five, four, three, two, and we're done.

Good, very good. It's important, though, with zoms of course, punching has to be your last resort. But in the meantime, as a way to get your frustrations out, it's not a bad go-to, eh? I'm gonna do a bit more of it myself in this next break and uh, if you guys want to keep jabbing alongside me, well, all things considered, wouldn't really mind the company.

~

PETER LYNNE: Right there, kiddos, time to get comfortable. Here's a genuine piece of advice. Now like I said, punching zombies has to be your last resort. I have seen more than a few tough morons get infected themselves from undead blood in their knuckles. All men, by the way. Shock, horror, I know. So if you do ever find yourself boxing a gray, remember, if you don't have gloves - and that's what you want - at least wrap your hands in cloth or gauze. Your aim is only to knock them down or away so that you can run.

So to that end, we are now going to try some punches with a bit more juice behind them than the jab. These are our hooks and uppercuts. So back in your boxing stance, one arm back, one arm forward. So the uppercut, you keep your feet grounded, bend your knees and rotate your body with the direction of your lead arm. So you're pushing off of your lead calf and punching upwards with the lead arm, releasing your rear heel and feel that rotate outwards as you go. So try that all together. It should feel like you've got the power coming through in that punch. Great, okay.

So now the hook. Back to the stance. Now you shift your weight to your lead foot whilst swinging your lead fist in an inward horizontal arc and moving your shoulder forwards. So try that. You can imagine just knocking a zombie's head off with this one, right off of his shoulders. Great, okay. Now we are going to try a full minute of mixed jabs, hooks, and uppercuts. Dealer's choice, so go wild, switch them up, swap stances occasionally. Get ready, and go!

Excellent, we're off to a flying start. Look at you, you scrappy little thing. 15 seconds down. Imagine you're fighting a big scary zombie version of Ivan Drago. You know, that's the um, the-the villain from-from Rocky IV. Why am I telling you? You know this. Keep going. Yes, lay into him! One, two. More! Halfway there. You've got him on the ropes. And of course, he's gonna get stronger and come back at you, and it'll look like you're down. but you're not down, you're back up! And it's 15 seconds. He's now almost down! Yes, you've got the upper hand now. Finish it off! Five, four, three, two... Oh, and it's a knockout! Surely not! They've won the belt and the title! Oh, good job, people.

Yes. Now I might have gotten a bit carried... [metallic bang] Okay, that one was... that was loud. See, there's um... so there's this air vent right by the projector and I can see a shadow moving under the grill. See, the reason I worry is that there's a, uh, there's this broken open vent in the toilet and so if that thing comes through that whilst I'm sleeping... Okay. Listen up, people. I am going to go and confront the monster. Fear not for old Peter. I am not totally unarmed. I have this mop. Perfect. I'm going to put on some music first. You can rest or... you know what? Actually, throw a few more punches in the break if you feel up to it. Can't hurt to know you champs are fighting alongside me, eh? [laughs] Okay, on three then, I suppose. One, two, three, and off we go!

~

PETER LYNNE: Well um, hello again, everyone. So that one did not turn out exactly as I expected. Turns out wasn't a zombie at all. That was actually just a scrawny little fox, and it must have come in through the window, sniffing after... I mean, I guess rotting flesh? I don't know why it would want that. But got itself lost and just came shooting out like a bullet when I opened the vent in here. It's just, uh, it's actually just sitting in the corner now. It looks friendly enough. [fox screeches] Maybe not. Right. Okay. That's your side of the room now. Completely understood. I've probably got some food around here somewhere, actually.

Tell you what. Um, I actually do need to thank you, listeners. Might sound silly, but without you, I actually might not have worked up the courage to open the vent. That would have meant this little fellow would have starved to death instead of coming out to occupy half of my room. Hey, hello. Yes, that's you. Catch this. Here we go. [laughs] Somebody's a fan of old, old cinema hot dogs. That makes two of us. Please don't tell anyone.

All right, listeners, I'm going to go and find more scraps to feed to my new roommate here, and it really is sometimes better to make friends than fight, especially when your rival's got those big teeth. Don't worry, I'll be back very soon. And in the meantime, stay safe out there, champs. You know, I'll be rooting for you. Oh, and uh, if anyone knows how to um, delete a movie playlist, could you try and get in touch somehow? Honestly, it is amazing the things you miss when they're gone.

~

[malethirsty]

Male Crow Eater: Tig Trager

Summary: As Charming Cinemas opens with a mattinee of Smokey & The Bandit, you plan on inviting SAMCRO as your plus group, however Tig has a plan of his own.

Warnings: M/M smut (21+), Bareback (Wrap Before You Tap!), Vouyerism

Inspired by: https://twitter.com/MaleThirst/status/1201339860633571334

After what seemed like a long time of work, the final stages of building Charming Cinema had arrived, which is a big time for any constructor as you gazed out at the finished work with SAMCRO all next to you to celebrate “Good work man.” Jax said to you & the club murmured it’s approval “At least your asshole boss will stop hassling you about us now.” Tig snarked “Well he’s gonna get a shock on Grand Opening day.” “Why’s that doll?” Tig asked intrigued, “As a thank you, we get to invite people this weekend, the mattinee is Smokey & The Bandit, and I” “We’re in, whatever it is, we’re in.” Tig proclaimed, causing you to smirk “Was wondering if ya’ll would like to be my invite, I can put it under ‘Teller-Morrow Workers’ so he won’t know it’s you guys, you need to keep you kutte’s out of sight though.” “Seems fair enough.” Jax looked to his brotherhood and asked “All in favour of being Y/N’s date to the Charming Cinema opening say I.” “I” the orher members spoke in unison all raising their hands “That settles it.” Jax said “When do you need us.” “It actually starts at midnight that day, so you all would be up, we get the day off as other people are coming in to make sure things are up and working, so I’ll be at the Clubhouse picking out suits and shit for you guys.” “Deal.” Said Jax leaning in for a kiss to seal the deal, with much wolf whistling from the crowd. “Not right now, I need to head back, but I’ll see you later.” SAMCRO waves you off, before Tig turned to the group “So tonight I’m gonna get Y/N to give me a run through of the place, here’s what we’re gonna do.”

A few days passed where final procedures were put into place. You went over to the clubhouse to get everyone’s measurements for their suits, everyone was cooperative, apart from Tig who asked you for the floorplan. You eventually gave it to him, wondering why he wanted to know “Don’t worry about it doll.” He grinned and winked at you, making you wonder about what he could pull, as Tig was often the most daring SAMCRO member.

The night before the opening finally arrived, and you were brimming with excitement at the product finally being shown off. You had rented out a limo for the club so they could arrive in style and piss off your boss with how formal they were. “I still don’t understand why we can’t scare him with our bikes.” Juice said “I’d love to, but it’s opening night procedure and I have to set an example, after tomorrow, you can rock up and vroom your engine to scare him, but doing it tonight would set people on edge.” “He’s right, we can be formal for one night, right guys?” Jax asked to a murmur of ascent. Things went smoothly after that, you made it to the confectionary stand with no problems with Ratboy being designated on carrying everyone’s snacks and then passing them out so you got your Ice cream and Popcorn to share with Tig who chose to sat right next to you “I’m excited, Smokey & The Bandit is my favourite film of all time! Love that damn film!” You smiled at his enthusiasm “I’m glad you could be here for me, all of you guys.” At that point as everyone had filtered in, the lights dimmed for previews so Jax sent an obligatory thumbs up.

Midway through the film, Tig tapped on your shoulder “What’s up?” You whispered, not wanting anyone else to hear “I need you outside, it’s urgent.” Quickly you rose to your feet and escorted Tig outside “Are you ok? Is something wrong? Are you losing feeling in your legs?” Your questioning was stopped by Tig slamming you into the wall and kissing you deep. “Fuck that was exhilierating.” Tig whispered hotly “You said it was urgent, I feared the worse!” You said a little angrily “It is Y/N.” He moved your hand to his clothed cock “I’ve been fucking hard since you sat next to me, my balls are so full of cum, I need you to milk it out of me like the good Crow Eater you are.” You shook your head, a grin forming on your face “Lead the way Tig.” He scooped you up in his arms and made his way forwards. You expected he’d take you to the men’s toilets to fuck in the cubicle, but he continued up the stairs “Tig, the” “I know doll, I have a surprise that I’ve been planning for a while.” He walked into the staff room, where your boss often had meetings, thank goodness it was empty. Tig sat in your boss’s seat at the head of the table and pushed you to your knees “Suck my dick.” Tig ordered and you wasted no time taking his pants down as he removed his kutte, finishing as you took his cock deep into your mouth “Oh shit, fuck yes!” Tig moaned out as he sat back, arms outstretched as he enjoyed your technique on his dick. “Like that (Y/N), Oh God, you wanna get a raise then you better suck me off like that! Fuck baby!” With the boss/employee storyline in place, you decided to up the ante and moved down and begun to suck his balls “OH FUCK!” Tig yelled out “Fuck yeah! So good for daddy! Now this is that good shit! Suck daddy’s balls baby boy, get em in your mouth, breathe in my musk, smells good huh?” You nodded your head, tongue circling around each of Tig’s balls reducing the man to a collection of groans and moans as he held your head and guided you.

Eventually he pulled you off him “Up on the table babe.” You quickly slid onto the wooden table in front of Tig, noticing out of the corner of your eye the CCTV camera “Oh shit! Tig, we’re being filmed!” You said pointing up at it “Oh yeah, we are!” He waved at the camera “Tig! This is bad! I could lose my-“ “Calm down doll!” He reached into his fallen pants and pulled out his phone. He worked with it for a bit before he showed it to you, on the screen was a FaceTime chat with Clay on the other end in what looked like the CCTV room, with your boss on the floor, seemingly knocked out “We figured your Two Suit Boss needed to get some SAMCRO vengance for the pressure he put you under for being with us, so Clay slipped out earlier and beat him unconscious, he has full control of the cameras & footage, we’re gonna take the footage of us and run our own SAMCRO Cinema unveiling later, the matinee is of you being my good fucking slut and taking daddy’s cock like a good Crow Eater.”

“You are something else Tig.” You knew he was out there but the fact he’d go this far for you was shocking but also really pleasing “Fuck yeah I am. Now spread your legs for me.” You did as he asked “Fuck your asshole looks good, can’t wait to get my dick up inside it.” Tig wasted no more time and fucked himself deep inside said asshole. “FUCK!” You groaned, your head hitting the table “Ouch!” “Fuck, doll, you alright?” Tig rubbed your head soothingly “Yeah, I didn’t expect how hard you’d be.” “Y/N, I’m a very big man, even bigger when I think about ya, now let daddy take care of you.” Tig began to work himself in & out of you with a rough pace, moans falling out of his mouth “You’re so fucking tight babe, fuck you’re the tightest hole I’ve ever fucked, and I’ve fucked so many over my time.” Tig leant down over you, kissing you deep. He rubbed your nipples as you ran your hands down his chest hair “Fuck you’re hot.” I breathed out “Back at ya.” Tig grinned, suddenly pulling out “Turn over.” You swiftly turned over, moaning out as Tig fucked back into you.

Now fucking from behind, Tig was able to go deeper, moaning louder “Fuck Tiggy, you’re so fucking good.” You praised, to the bikers ears “I wanna stay in your ass forever. Your walls are tight and cozy around my dick. Such a good Crow Eater for daddy.” You let multiple moans fall out as he continued to fuck you “Oh yeah!” Tig groaned, loving how well you were taking his cock “This is better than watching Smokey, this is way. fucking. better.” He hit your prostate deeply, leaving you a mess of sweat & moans as you tightened around him. He pulled out yet again, causing you to moan in despair “Tig, I need you!” He laughed “Get up from there babe.” As you moved off the table, you saw him sitting in your boss’s chair again “Sit on it.” He didn’t need to ask twice, you slid your legs in between the slats on the chair and lowered yourself onto his dick. “That’s it, Oh fuck! I fuckin love your ass Y/N!” He groaned out, slapping it as you both returned to your rhythm, the air filling with moans & groans from the both of you. He bit into your nipples making you scream out “OH FUCK TIG!” He laughed, “God I love you Y/N.” “I love you too Tig.” You moaned back, kissing him deep.

Both of your paces began to get sloppy & you knew you wouldn’t last much longer “Fuck Tig, I’m gonna” Tig began to stroke your cock “Do it babe, cum for daddy Tig, shoot all over daddy’s hairy chest!” His dirty talk, his Earth shattering fuck, it finally pulled you under. You were a mess of moans as you shot all over him “Oh fuck! You made a mess of daddy! But I fucking love it!” He went faster than before, causing you to bend backwards a moaning mess as he continued to work into you, your walls now extra tight from your orgasm. “Fuck doll, daddy’s gonna cum, Tiggy’s gonna cum deep inside you! You’re so tight round my cock, make Daddy proud & take all his cum, FUCK!” He kept going roughly before finally “OH YES! FUCK YEAH!” He shuddered roughly as he shot his load deep. You reached back up, giving him a deep kiss that he returned with matching passion, breaking it, you licked his moustache “Fuck, keep that up and I’m gonna get hard again.” You repeated your action & low and behold, his cock began to get hard again “Fuck, you are insatiable!” “Only for you babe, only for you.” You both kissed as you removed your legs from the slats and both of you stood up & started to get dressed again, Tig reached for his phone “What did you think Clay?” “See for yourself.” You heard him say, Tig let out a “Well shit.” Before showing you the phone, Clay was holding his right hand up, covered in his load. You & Tig took a moment to appreciate the sight before Tig disconnected the call. “SAMCRO Cinema is gonna be fucking great, I can tell. We’ll go back and watch the film, then I’ll go get confectionary for us all, then as they watch our movie, I’ll take you down the hall, shove my musky balls in your mouth, you’ll love them, I’ll fucking cum, we’ll have a good fucking night.” You leaped into Tig, wrapping your legs round his back as you kissed him “Damn baby, where did you come from? Doll, I fucking love you.” Tig kissed you deep again as you let his compliments wash over you, SAMCRO was where you belonged.

[emikochan]

I know I requested sth yesterday and I apologize for bothering you. Actually... *coughs awkwardly* I would like to make another request another time ofc if that’s alright so... Do you have any headcanons or maybe a scenario about married Russia with his partner and even their children??So basically marriage and parent headcanons and/or scenario. Thanks once again and I understand it if you can’t/don’t want to write about it. Have a good day（╹◡╹）

Jeez, did I write too much this time? Haha, maybe I got a little too carried away with this request! Enjoy🌸 PS: It's absolutely no problem, love! You guys are allowed to request and ask as much as you like🌸

~~~~~~~

Husband!Russia headcanons:

• a caring husband

• "You're tired, sunflower? I'll call in sick for you; don't go to work and stay home, da?"

• showers you with food, that he made himself

• brings home neat gimmicks that's supposed to make finishing chores easier, like a robot vacuum cleaner.

• he got servants to clean his place up but he wants to show you that he cares about them and wants to make their work easier.

• couldn't be more happy than now. He finally found a person that truly loves him and he can finally settle down with the peaceful life he yearned for for centuries.

• there will be a little field of sunflowers in your shared garden. No questions asked.

• walking with you through it is one of his favourite things to do

• once he lost you in there and almost had an anxiety attack

• abandonment issues hit him all over again.

• he loves sunflowers with all his heart but he was ready to thrash every single one in his way to find you, fortunately you found him just in time to stop him.

• would never, EVER strike you.

• you inspire him to be a better person

• when that one guy hit on you, he was ready to whack this dude's head with his pipe; but you once taught him that violence is rarely ever the answer and he found his own way to tell the guy off without bashing his brain in.

• tries to be the best husband, honestly. He's still very insecure about himself and constantly fears that he'll do or say something that ends up scaring you away.

• learns how to handle himself better by following your examples

~~~

Father!Russia Headcanons:

• dedicated father that surprisingly doesn't spoil his children rotten

• having experienced poverty in his own childhood, his first instinct was to spoil his kids but he knows that this would do them more harm than anything else.

• he wants for his children to be gentle and sincerely good people someday

• encourages them to do sports or other competitive activities, where they can learn ambition and have to work in order to succeed.

• just because you guys are rich doesn't mean that his kids should grow up thinking that their parent's money are enough to live with.

• takes them to charity events

• helping others is a thing in your family, that you often do together wether it may be handing out food or blankets to the homeless at christmas in Moscow or cleaning up a park.

• Ivan thinks that's good for his kid's character

• sometimes has Toris or Eduard watch over his darlings when he's going out with you

~~~~~~~~~

❄️Little scenario because I felt like it❄️

"Alex, would you like popcorn or chips?", you asked the little boy that inherited Ivan's hair.

The little one was conflicted, with the wheels in his head visibly turning. He bit his lip in deep thought as he looked up to read the sign with the prices over and over again in hopes to decide very soon what he actually wanted.

"They both sound good..." he concluded. "Can't I have both?"

"You know that would be too much sugar, Alexander", Ivan responded and layed a hand on his son's head. Though he must admit that this day was kinda special and that the two siblings were really really good when it came to eating healthy food during the last weeks...

"You know what we're gonna do?", chirped his daughter. "Mama and I are gonna share some popcorn and you two get some chips."

A mischievous spark flashed in little Katinas eyes as she looked over to Alex and he nodded in agreement.

Did they honestly think Ivan would fall for that? Obviously the siblings each get chips and popcorn and use the dark of the cinema to secretly trade the snacks between each other, so that they had both at the same time. Clever little six year-olds.

Before Ivan could kindly expose their little plan his wife spoke up.

"That sounds like a pretty good idea, let's do this!"

While the kids cheered and ran to line up at the register you raised an eyebrow at Ivan and took his large hand into yours.

"We got to spoil them once in a while, honey. They've been so good during the past weeks" you said and he let out a content sigh.

"When they suffer from a sugar rush, it's your problem to deal with." he joked and you giggled as you joined the kids in line, waiting to begin a wonderful evening

[danwhobrowses]

Justice League Snyder Cut - Review

Fan Power has willed the Justice League back to life

The much-awaited Snyder Cut came out earlier this week and at last I have found time to watch it, so now it’s time to review it

Did it live to the hype or did it fall and flounder like Whedon’s?

Spoilers for the Snyder Cut underneath, find 4 hours to watch it and come back. You can watch via HBO Max, NowTV (who do a 7-day free trial) and Sky Cinema

I will also preface that these are my opinions, everyone has them and they are not all the same, these are my thoughts about the film

And I did like the movie, I think it was much better than the Whedon one but not as much a flawless masterpiece it could’ve been

What wasn’t Great Every movie has flaws, and longer movies tend to have more flaws. While these are gonna be things I didn’t think were great about the movie this does not mean they entirely ruin the film for me.

4 Hours is Probably Too Long The 4-Hour runtime was manageable in terms of pacing, however, there were several scenes that kinda felt like padding - which for a 4-hour movie isn’t really necessary. Scenes like the two where it’s just a character walking to a song wasn’t needed and felt more like it was there for the sake of it being in trailers, and while I am a heavy advocate of trailers not showing us scenes not in the movie. As much as it was nice to see Iris West, because it didn’t really do anything for the film it didn’t need to be in the film, Quality over Quantity. The Epilogue’s Knightmare and Martian Manhunter sequence for the most part felt like it was lumped on too, like we had 2 other Knightmare Sequences of Superman breaking bad, the third one didn’t really give us anything new except for Joker, Mera and Deathstroke being a part of the Knightmare Squad.

Some Still Sour Casting While not entirely Snyder’s fault you do get a bit of a pit having to see some actors reprising their role, Amber Heard as Mera particularly. Eisenberg’s Luthor also didn’t feel like it was much better (though these were old scenes, I am aware of that). Leto’s Joker also was a mixed bag, ups and downs.

Keeping Some Bad Scenes from Whedon, and Cutting the Few Good Whedon Scenes So while it was rumored that the film would be completely different from the Whedon JL film it was of course not the case. While many, many scenes were altered, some scenes that weren’t too great still made it to the Snyder Cut, small scenes with crappy dialogue for sure but you notice them. I think the one that annoyed me though was the omission of the good scene in the Whedon version and it’s when Bats gives Flash the ‘Save One Person’ pep talk, I thought that scene went a long way in imbuing Flash with the confidence to embrace his heroics more, I also liked when he sharpied the guy’s face before visiting his dad in prison, sold his more playful personality.

Flash needs to Pick a Lane As much as Flash was the comic relief character at times, it did feel like he would flit between Competent and Incompetent throughout the film. This is where the Whedon JL pep talk scene could’ve forgave this, because Flash will either be invaluable in a fight, or a detriment to himself and others, sometimes at the same time. Boy trips over a lot! And his Iris scene was kinda creepy...

...And So Does Diana’s Romance Angle Frankly, Diana doesn’t need a romantic subplot, it doesn’t really progress her character at all for the situation at hand. But across the film there seemed to be bits here and there that looked like the movie wanted to nudge potential romances with her and other League members, and that’s members plural. The main romance seems to be the Bruce/Diana bit, they have had a tiny flirt in BVS so the one scene makes sense, but then there was this weird energy with her and Cyborg and then also her and Aquaman. I can understand the sentiment that every dude there finds her attractive but it’s not exactly necessary to try and push any of the three to be more than platonic, and Diana isn’t quite the mother hen trope that Alfred is.

Some CGI and Dialogue doesn’t quite fit TV CGI of course gets a hit and miss, but Cyborg many times does suffer a bit of uncanny valley, as does Steppenwolf’s armor. The dialogue also suffers sometimes, some things that look good on paper don’t come across the same way because of the tone and inflection used in the speaker. A prime example is when Diana, for some reason, only seems to call Clark by his Kryptonian name, another being Silas’ recording to Victor. The ‘Mrs’ ‘Doctor’ is always a cringey cliché, the headmaster wasn’t undermining you by gender, if he called Silas Mr. Stone there wouldn’t be such offence, it’s just an eyeroll. Cyborg’s ‘Didn’t think you were real’ is also dumb in context, he is a cyborg made from a Mother Box who recently talked to an Amazon goddess and fought Parademons, he knows about Superman but the Dude dressed in a Bat Suit for 20 years can’t possibly be real.

“This Place, it’s Toxic” This is a small one, but Steppenwolf’s base of operations isn’t much better than Whedon’s. Though it’s not populated, it’s supposed to be toxic, something Steppenwolf makes not of when he arrives. But all that kinda goes out the window when the Justice League lot come in and raid it. At the least when Whedon’s had a family living in it we could see that the environment wasn’t too hostile for humans to breathe in let alone fight in.

Cyborg’s ‘heart’ doesn’t fully land Upon promoting the Snyder Cut, a lot of focus came down to Ray Fisher’s Cyborg. The promotion suggested that he would be the ‘heart’ of the story, and the league, but upon watching the story unfold it didn’t quite land. When I hear that someone’s the ‘heart’, it’s more than just that they are core to it, it means that they carry the emotional story as well, and Cyborg’s emotional story wasn’t really something to be moved by. He rightfully has resent for his father and his father tries to make up for it, mutually having care for each other but not being great at showing it. While Cyborg was a good character showing good development, I wouldn’t say he kept the promotion of him being the heart of the movie. Also his ‘helping’ breaks the financial system, I mean you could’ve helped a different way.

There’s not Six, there’s Seven! But J’onn sits this one out The reveal of Martian Manhunter was great, J’onn has been one of my favourite DC heroes since the animated Justice League Unlimited where Carl Lumbly gave us a uniquely compassionate, intuitive and someone ethereal kind of hero. But in Justice League his reveal as the army guy in Man of Steel left me lacking a little bit, why has J’onn sat out of this? If he’s been around since MoS he would’ve had some idea of all the stuff going on from BVS and JL, and it’s not like he’s simply not caring because his human form is a military person sworn to protect people. It just would’ve been nicer if J’onn’s contribution was more than just getting Lois out of the house you know? Like if he was saving other hostages from Parademons or gifting the League intel it would have been nice. Also, ditch the glowing eyes, I know he has red eyes but the glow makes it more menacing, at first I thought Martha had been Parademon’d or had the Omega imprint.

Apokalips Technology kinda sucks For a planet that has razed several tens of thousand of planets, mind controlling their lives into Parademons, being able to open Boom Tubes and capable of space flight, the technology the League face doesn’t seem that great. Consider Steppenwolf’s 'Stronghold’; it is easily undone by breaking the ‘tower’ which the Batplane crushed through like a Kit Kat bar - after penetrating a weak outer shell - after that the Parademons have cannons that can barely even harm the Flash and stormtrooper aim. It does really feel like the only valid technology Apokalips brings to Earth is on Steppenwolf’s person, but even that suffers. Clark freezes the axe and shatters it with his breath, his armor is eye lasered off - more on those later - even though Bruce’s gauntlets were able to stave off the lasers for a bit. Consider that: Alfred built gauntlets that fared just as well as Steppenwolf’s armor...it just feels off. And it wouldn’t be as bad if the technology was praised, but Steppenwolf made note of how primitive the technology was, then lost. Even with the Mother Boxes that brought Clark back to life and were said to be able to rearrange matter however it is willed, but Steppenwolf’s fortress couldn’t make it out of a sturdier material.

Amazons take the L The Amazons are a warrior race, with superhuman power, no fear and enhanced skills in combat - but they barely ever win. Granted, the Amazons had to lose to Steppenwolf, but they were for the most part wasted as they were with Whedon. This would’ve been much easier to stomach if the Amazons were showing contributing better to the Darkseid flashback, but you don’t really see any of them fight Darkseid like the Atlantean King, the Greek Gods and the Green Lantern. You could make a call for Artemis being the Amazon pile since her arrow warns Diana but it’s not exactly enough, I don’t think it helps that the Amazons are consistently bringing swords to a gun fight. They only lasted longer than the Atlanteans in protecting the Mother Box because they kept throwing it out of Steppenwolf’s reach, only earning credit for failure and stubbornness.

Also I have to add, the Female Chanting that becomes the Amazon and Wonder Woman’s theme was heavily overused to the point where I got sick of it, needed more of Diana’s actual theme.

Too Much Slowmo! Snyder has his style, but he needs to have some restraint. Some slow-motion scenes did hurt the pacing. Slow Motion needs to fit a purpose of showing something we’d want to see that at normal speed would be hard to track, Bryan Singer knew this, but Snyder uses Slowmo as much as JJ Abrams uses lens flares.

Look at these Cars, MERCEDES CARS! Product placement happens, it needs to, but Mercedes needed to be a little less blatant with it. The cars looked ugly as balls as well.

The Over-Deifying of Clark Kent *sigh* So this is gonna probably be a me issue more than anything. I understand the crux of the plot is that Superman kept the Mother Boxes from calling Steppenwolf before, but I have to make this clear: Superman is NOT a God.

I have to make this clear because Diana is a God, daughter of Zeus, and she frequently struggled against Steppenwolf alone. While the resurrected Clark going unchained against the League led to the cool scene of Flash noticing that Clark can track him, it still left the sour realisation that in this universe, Superman is above all the other 5 league members combined, as well as being almost as fast as the Flash...who can turn back time. And that always hurts, Diana and Aquaman have at certain times of the comics slapped around Superman and have more than been enough to be his physical equal - the same is for J’onn and Shazam btw, Supes is weak to magic. It annoys me because making Superman the alpha defeats what makes Superman the leader, he’s considered one of the best heroes not because he’s the strongest but because he is humble, kind and reasonable, regardless of his genetic strength from an extinct race of aliens what makes Clark Superman is the Kansas Boy Scout attitude and what made the Mother Boxes fear him should’ve been his ability to bring people together.

His flexing on Steppenwolf did not nearly give me the catharsis others might have had, Diana’s sword and gauntlets are godly relics but a Kryptonian eye laser can fare better against Steppenwolf’s armor, Kryptonians aren’t gods.

Also they don’t really explain how Clark can resume normal life, people think he’s dead.

What was Great Okay that did look like a lot of complaints...but remember, 4 hours! There was still a lot more enjoyable moments and improvements upon the Whedon version, which we can delve into now.

Improved Character and Motivation Of the characters in the Snyder Cut there is definitely a greater improvement in fleshing out the main League Members think and feel, where they come from becomes key to how they act. This also is true for Steppenwolf, while a fully disappointing villain in Whedon, Snyder kills the ‘mommy issues’ dialogue and paints a much more desperate, outcasted and slightly pitiful antagonist, even in his defeat it’s shown just how little Darkseid cared. The inclusion of Darkseid also adds to Steppenwolf, because we see the head of the table we know that if Steppenwolf is overwhelmed there is still Darkseid, who was so tough that it took 2 of the strongest gods to wound him. While his emotional story didn’t land so well, Cyborg getting the backstory and the mental turmoil really helped with his character and made his declaration of ‘I’m not broken’ earned and emotive, through Vulko - and Dafoe’s glorious mane - we get to explore Aquaman’s reluctance to meet expectations of him a bit further. Affleck’s Batman also gets good development, attempting to assemble the League out of honoring his promise to Clark and trying to bring himself out of the darkness and anger. Barry’s dad happily rejoicing that Barry has his ‘foot in the door’ was also a sweet moment.

In the Knightmare sequence we see improvement in Leto’s Joker, a lot more like the Joker we are fond of and his underhanded taunting of Batman. Remove the orange gloves though...

R for Red, Blood Red I read somewhere in criticism of the Snyder Cut that it did not earn its R Rating, and I think that was dumb. You got blood, violence and cursing, Steppenwolf freaking bisects a dude and the rating allows Diana to behead Steppenwolf at the end. There’s believable brutality that never comes off as overcompensating or gratuitous.

The Fakeout That caught us off-guard didn’t it? A great way to use Flash’s time travelling powers by having the Unity actually be achieved. Seeing the Unity atomize Superman as well as Arthur and Diana was also a good display of the dangerous power of the Mother Boxes. For a film where we already know what’s going to happen because we’ve seen it before, the fakeout of the League failing was a great shock value moment.

Good Exposition The story had a lot of background  and backstory to cover, so it had to make sure that the exposition they used wouldn’t be dumps of preachy dialogue. This was done really well thanks to the way the story showed Cyborg’s abilities, producing simulations that Vic would then walk through such as when he explained the Mother Boxes, the Murals in the tomb forewarning Darkseid’s first invasion - which later became the flashback story - and the Mother Box visions were able to tell valuable information without overwhelming the audience with it.

Knightmare Warnings Although the final Knightmare warning was kinda lumped on the wrong place, it continued to give us teases of a different scenario, the fear of what will happen when Darkseid comes to Earth. Seeing the deaths of Aquaman and Wonder Woman paired with what seems to be the incineration of Lois and then Clark breaking bad forewarned Cyborg in a similar manner to how Bruce was warned in BVS and the epilogue. The scenes also teased their importance to the Knightmare resistance, since Cyborg and Bruce look to be a part of a bigger role which can be key to preventing such a thing. 

The Knightmare scenario did also make me want to see more of this apocalyptic scenario, as well as all the dynamics had with Bruce, Joker, Cyborg, Deathstroke and Flash (but not Mera, unless they change her actress because Fuck Amber Heard) as they try to face off with evil Superman.

Some Nice Easter Eggs As well as the awesome Martian Manhunter reveal and the Age of Heroes Green Lantern, we got cameos from Zeus, King Atla, King Arthur, Ares, Artemis, Iris West, Deathstroke, Joker, Commissioner Gordon - who looks really similar to his BTAS design, the voices of Jor-El and Johnathon Kent, Darkseid and Granny Goodness, we also got Ryan Choi - the third Atom - as Silas’ assistant and a cool nod with the policeman Lois gives coffee to every day. That guy is Mark McClure, who played Jimmy Olsen in the Reeve Superman and Dax-Ur in Smallville. There’s of course the Black Suit, which looks amazing, the code for the Mother Box is the issue which Cyborg’s origin story is introduced, one of the cops Crispus Allen would later become the Spectre and we finally see Arkham Asylum. You can also see Kilowog dead at the foot of the Hall of Justice in Cyborg’s Knightmare vision. You can also still see the open pod on the Kryptonian’s ship, implying Supergirl.

Two Fathers / Using Zimmer’s Flight Perfectly Zimmer’s ‘Flight’ is perhaps one of my favourite themes in Superhero movies, definitely the best in the DCEU next to Diana’s theme, so to hear it be used at the very mention of Superman was great. To hear it more than once was even better, especially in the Black Suit scene. With Superman about to return to the fight, hearing encouragement from his birth father and his Earth father was a wonderful touch, getting to finally embrace himself in the way Jor-El hoped and with the blessing of Johnathon. While the Amazon chanting was overused the film definitely made good on the rest of its music hitting at the right time.

Stronger Visuals While the visuals of Whedon’s version were never god awful, there was a lot of great visual moments in the Snyder Cut, Flash’s super speed scenes of course being one of the main highlights. Snyder is one for showing artistic frames and it does shine a lot here, the Comic Spread scene when attacking the Stronghold, the lineup after the battle, the view of Apokolips, the mural and even the Anti-Life Equation looked amazing. I particularly liked the ‘Melted Iron Zoom Call’ Steppenwolf did to contact Desaad and Darkseid.

Legitimate and Varying Dynamics Between Characters If every hero got along the same way then you’re not really doing much with your characters. Snyder made sure that each character had a varying level of dynamic with them, for instance: Barry is the same personality by default but he’s intimidated by Bruce, crushes on Diana, scared of Arthur and tries to pal with Vic and that affects his approach, Arthur doesn’t treat Vic the same way he treats Barry or Diana and so on. The dynamic is also sold by stuff like Bruce’s desire to atone with Clark, or Diana and Arthur’s people having been at war with one another causing distrust. There’s also the relationship between Vic and his Father which tragically only starts on the path of making amends, Alfred’s micro-managing of Diana’s tea making, Barry’s less-enthusiastic demeanor when around his dad, Bruce’s ‘hate you but need you’ dynamic with Joker and Steppenwolf’s estrangement with the rest of the New Gods are properly expressed.

Setting Up a Bunch More If the DCEU decides against picking up from the plot points of the Snyder Cut it’d be a huge mistake. As well as uniting the Justice League we’ve set up a future villain in Darkseid and Deathstroke, future members in Atom and Martian Manhunter (not to mention Shazam and the potential for Green Lantern), a potential AU film of Knightmare, and future normal developments with characters such as the potential Lois pregnancy and Barry getting a forensics job. With the Mother Boxes still on Earth as well there is potential to use them in a similar way that Infinity Stones were used in the MCU, Atom gaining abilities from the alien technology for instance such as introducing Nth Metal and then Hawkman and Hawkgirl, or just making more and the introduction of the New Gods allows other characters such as Mister Miracle, this can easily be a stepping stone for a lot more DC content to varying degrees.

Conclusion This film was very good, not the best superhero film ever but definitely a labor of love that succeeded in its expectations and bettered its previous version in nearly every way. Despite seeing the Whedon version and it having a similar plot it still had moments that surprised and excited me and the characters all felt better, whether every cut will have the same acclaim will be up for debate but the fan-charged attempt to salvage DC’s Justice League is definitely a success.

[himbowelsh]

Pls Hoosier on Valentine's list!

valentines day alphabet  ( accepting! ) 

A   :   AFFECTION.   how does your muse show affection?

He doesn’t, if he can help it. Unfortunately, Hoosier’s a bigger softie than he likes to admit. His affection shows itself through small gestures   ---   a blanket tucked around someone’s shoulders, food shared, limbs resting casually against each other during idle moments. If Hoosier’s willing to go out of his way for someone, even a little bit, then they matter to him. His smile could make flowers grow, so being on the receiving end of it tends to send the people he cares about a clear message.

B   :   BOUQUET.   does your muse like flowers? which ones are their favourite?

Absolutely not a bouquet man. Doesn’t trust flowers, doesn’t know how they work, and is not inclined to find out.

C   :   CHOCOLATE.   does your muse like chocolate? which one is their favourite?

Abso-fuckin-lutely. Hoosier would shank a man for some cherry cordials.

D   :   DATE.   what is your muse’s ideal date? where / who with / etc?

He prefers to split the bill on any dates, because he’s cheap economically responsible like that. Hoosier’s ideal date wouldn’t involve paying at all; he’d have a great time doing something on just the right side of illegal, like sneaking into a movie (makes the cinema experience 10x more fun) or loitering in a potentially dangerous place. Coffee dates are pretentious, but he really likes coffee, so sometimes you’ve gotta take the good with the bad. He’d love to go to an animal shelter and, like, play with the dogs...  Hoosier’s not a hard person to take out, and he’s satisfied doing pretty much anything, so long as it’s not too boring.

E   :   EMBRACE.   does your muse like hugs? what are their hugs like?

what the hell is a hug   He doesn’t love them  ---  mostly because he’s been on the receiving end of too many of Chuckler’s post-workout sweaty bear hugs, and that’s something you never recover from. Hoosier’s particular about physical affection, unless it’s from someone he really considers His People  ---  even with his closest friends, he can be weird about hugs, though he’ll make allowances for his little siblings. He’s not a hugger himself.

F   :   FLIRT.   is your muse good at flirting? how do they flirt?

He doesn’t, because it’s a lot of effort, and frankly he just can’t be assed. Hoosier doesn’t do charming small-talk; he’s not going to wine and dine someone he’s just interested in taking to bed. If he wants more than that, well...  he doesn’t even know how to go about it, so they better appreciate the drinks he’s willing to pay for. The other partner’s got to carry the conversation, because Hoosier can’t make small talk to save his life. His good looks and bluntness tend to carry him far enough  ---  as far as the bedroom.

G   :   GIFT.   is your muse good at gift - giving or do they struggle to get it right?

He really doesn’t try that hard. The sort of person to literally ask outright, “what do you want?” a week before a birthday...  then, to his credit, he goes out and tracks the thing down. (Leckie once gave him a really obscure book title, just to see what would happen. Hoosier turned up with it. The book had been out of print of years. This was a first-edition copy. No one knows where he got it, how, or if it was obtained legally.)

H   :   HEART.   is your muse quick or slow to give their heart away?

He’s...  slow because the idea scares him. Hoosier and intimacy...  do not mix. On a physical level, sure, but emotionally? He’s gonna glower that idea into submission and keep any pesky feelings that bubble up down for as long as possible. Hoosier does not love the idea of opening himself up to getting hurt, and doesn’t think he’s very suited for romance, so he’d just...  rather not.

I    :   I LOVE YOU.   does your muse find ‘i love you’ easy or hard to say?

Like we just said! Emotional intimacy is a Big Yikes for him! Anyone would be lucky to get an “I love you” out of him once. He’s got to be either very drunk or very sleepy to say it out loud  ---   both times are when he’s at his softest.

J   :   JEALOUSY.   does your muse get jealous in a relationship?

Oh yeah. Hoosier can be...  territorial when it comes to the people he loves. He passionately dislikes anyone getting too close to his partner; there’s being friendly, and then there’s being more, and he’s got strong instincts for when something’s more than friendly. Hoosier makes up for it by being bitchier than usual, glowering at them and being a bit more physical with his partner. He’s rarely one for PDA, but Jealous Hoosier has some points to make.

K   :   KISS.   is your muse a good kisser? why / why not?

He’s a very physical kisser, almost taking ownership of his partner through his lips; Hoosier Smith doesn’t kiss to play around. Hands on the ass, the thighs, gripping the hips as he grinds slightly against them; each breath seems to ripple between the two of them, a shared convulsion, before Hoosier goes right back in for more. He’s a hungry kisser, and a little feral about it  ---  bruises will be left along his partner’s neck, and their lips may be sore for days afterwards, but they way Hoosier leaves them seeing stars makes it all worth it.

L   :   LOVE.   who does your muse love?

He’s very fond of his little siblings, and very affectionate with them  ---  way more than anyone’s used to seeing out of him. Hoosier’s got Big Brother Instincts, even they don’t rear their head that often. He loves his mom and (very old, possibly immortal) grandparents; he’s very devoted to his friends, no matter how he rolls his eyes at Chuckler and Runner’s chaos or bitches at Leckie’s pretentiousness. That’s the thing about Hoosier  ---   he doesn’t love a lot of people, but the people he does love, he wants to keep.

M   :   MOONLIGHT.   is morning or night a more romantic setting?

Night, because he’s never up in the damn morning. Why would someone want to do things before 10am? Not this man. Anything that needs to get done can be done at midnight, or not at all.

N   :   NAUGHTY.   what is your muse like in bed?

He alternates between fierce and teasing, but Hoosier is very, very determined. God, does he love his partner’s reactions...  and he savors them, leading them along for as long as possible, dragging every encounter out until the end. Hoosier’s in no rush to finish; honestly, he has a bit of trouble finishing without his partner, and it’s usually seeing them go over the edge first that gets him there. He’s rough, rougher than he means to be at times; sex is the most energy he’ll ever expend at a given moment, and he turns it into a full-on workout, both parties slick with sweat by the end of it. Sometimes, he’ll just put his mouth to task, trailing it slowly along his partner’s body  ---  sucking kisses into their chest, their stomach, their hips, all the way to their thighs and what lies beyond.

O   :   ODE.   does your muse have a way with words?

Yes. Very succinct. To the point. Knows what the hell he’s saying. Fine with words, thanks.

P   :   PARTNER.   what does your muse look for in a partner? looks / personality?

Someone who doesn’t get on his last damn nerve. Hoosier would do well with a partner who goes with the flow  ---  probably someone more extroverted than him, but who really doesn’t demand much or tax his energy when he needs to just destress. He’d do best with someone low-maintenance. (Too bad the high-maintenance people are so damn attractive.) They have to love animals; they have to be able to keep things neat, because he hates a messy house; he’s fine with almost any quirk they might have, so long as they put up with his in return. He loves people who can sing...  and people who laugh at their own jokes really shouldn’t be as attractive as they are.

Q   :   QUESTION.   would your muse ask the big question or expect their partner to?

He’d ask as soon as he comes to terms with the idea...  which’ll take a while, not gonna lie. His partner asking first would completely take Hoosier by surprise. He wouldn’t be expecting it, wouldn’t know what to do with it, and his off-the-cuff answer would be, “what the fuck”.  Promising omen of marital bliss right there.

R   :   ROMANCE.   is your muse a romantic or a cynic?

Definitely on the cynical side. He’s...  afraid of romance, a little bit, and definitely doesn’t imagine himself as anybody’s Prince Charming.

S   :   SWEETHEART.   did your muse have a childhood sweetheart?

He didn’t, really. Little Bill Smith had way more important things on his mind, like taking long naps, stealing cookies, and hiding in places where his mama couldn’t find him. Bigger priorities on his mind.

T   :   TRUE LOVE.   does your muse believe in true love?

...  nah, probably not. It’s not something he gives a lot of thought to, because thinking about love in general leaves him feeling half-starved and irritated. True love...  well, to be honest, he’s got no clue what it is.

U   :   UNREQUITED.   has your muse had their heart broken?

...  let’s say he hasn’t and call it even. He’s not gonna talk about it.  (He hasn’t, but he’s been on the cusp of loving people who didn’t love him back. Caution is learned; if you go to the edge of a cliff and almost fall off, you’re in no hurry to dance on that edge again. He learned to fear love without ever feeling the full sting of rejection, cause he’s just proactive like that.)

V   :   VALENTINE.   how does your muse feel about valentine’s day?

A complete waste of time, unless there’s chocolate involved. Chocolate for him. Get him chocolate, please.

W  :   WEDDING.   would your muse get married? why / why not?

Mmm. I mean. He’s not going to not get married, if the opportunity arises, but it’s also, like...  a lot of effort, everybody makes a big deal out of it, it costs a lot of money, and, like...  if all his siblings get hitched, does his Mama really need him to, too? (If Hoosier gets to the point where he’s head-over-heels in love with someone, enough to want to spend his life with ‘em, yeah, he’ll get married. But he’s prefer a quiet ceremony, no muss or fuss, to a big white wedding.)

X   :   XOXO.   does your muse use / like pet names?

Absolutely never... unless he’s in the mood. An arm tucked around his partner’s chest or waist, and a muttered “darlin’” against the side of their neck, is Hoosier-speak for ‘let’s get someplace private now, before I take my pants off right here.’

Y   :   YOURS.   does your muse get protective easily?

In, like, the laziest way possible. He’s perfectly willing to sit back and watch the fireworks, glowering as some fool gets bolder and bolder with the person he cares about...  but he’s not apathetic, he’s waiting. As soon as the bastard crosses a line, Hoosier’s on his feet and swinging. He doesn’t say anything; he just puts an end to the situation, with a few well-placed hits. Cross Hoosier Smith’s people at your own risk.

Z   :   ZZZ.   how many people has your muse slept with?

...  do you really want to know the answer to this question? It’s...  a lot. Many people. An amount that should maybe concern him. He couldn’t count if he tried, but the number is probably in the double digits. (How? He literally never goes out! Hoosier’s got ways, okay. When he feels like having sex, he will find someone willing and eager. It’s never a challenge to convince them. The job gets done.) Don’t ask, cause he’ll just smirk and say nothing.

[worldofandromeda]

Stray Kids Headcanon: As Boyfriends.

A/N: I spent over two and a half hours writing this, I hope you fucking enjoy it. Requests are open. (I swear, if the fucking gifs don’t work, I’m gonna sue my mother for making me exist).

Requested: No. By Who: my fucking imagination.

Word Count: 2052.

Not proofread or edited.

BANG CHAN

extremely loyal but also a bit of a shameless flirt, so he would need a partner that is able to snap him out of that habit

doesn’t overreact in fights, is actually pretty calm and rarely loses his temper

indecisive, so his partner would nearly definitely always end up being the one picking where you two eat or going on vacation together, stuff like that

loves when you compliment him but will give you ten more for every single one you give him, he just wants to make you feel loved

I feel like he would really enjoy simple date nights at home like when you two have a movie night or cook together, it doesn’t matter what you do, he just wants to be with you

but, I also feel like he is a big money spender, so i feel like he would spend a lot of his money buying you unnecessary gifts when he travels and treating you to really expensive and fancy dates whenever it is possible for him to do so

KIM WOOJIN

impulsive, probably really into spontaneous sex, maybe even public but he wouldn’t do anything you weren’t comfortable with even if you were misbehaving (I think he’s a dom but eh, who knows, his personality seems a bit sub to me, so maybe a switch, who knows?)

easily jealous, will actually hit a guy if he won’t leave you alone, yelling at anyone who looks at you the wrong way and don’t get me started on if some dude groped you or slapped your ass, cute little Woojin is about to unleash his inner WWE wrestler

would love being near you but also needs his alone time, so sometimes he would just turn his phone off for a couple of hours, just to have a bit of time to himself and you understand that, so you’re all good, no fighting about it, except maybe the first time he does it without letting you know, making you worry for him when he wasn’t replying

gets bored easily and is probably really adventurous, so sometimes you two would just be watching TV when he’ll say, ‘wanna go rock climbing?’ or ‘I want to go on a hike this weekend, you in?’ something like that.

problem solver, you got an issue? Tell him. Will encourage you to be open with your feelings and he will try his hardest to find a solution and make you feel happy and content again (p.s. he loves your smile)

his partner will most likely plan most of the dates but he would really love them if they had to do with something active, like ziplining or ice skating, even just going through a haunted house will really excite him (but be ready for him to cling onto you whenever there is a jump scare)

LEE MINHO

wants to know everything about you, might come off as a little nosy but really, he just wants to feel like he knows you better than anyone else because that would make him feel really proud

it would probably take a bit of time for him to open up to you and also, he would probably be the most cautious member when it came to announcing your relationship to the stays

would tease you a lot but he does it out of love, sort of like a little boy pulling his crush’s hair to get her attention (except he already has your attention, have you seen him?)

wouldn’t let anyone else’s thoughts of you change his opinion, if he thinks your beautiful then he thinks you’re beautiful, if he thinks you’re his soulmate and the most intelligent person he has ever met, then you’re his soulmate and the most intelligent person he’s ever met, he doesn’t care about what others think of you or your relationship as long as you are both happy, healthy and together

I swear, he’s a psychic, knows what his partner is thinking before they do. notices when his partner is sad, even when they try to hide it. he can tell how his partner is feeling just by the littlest things and he always tries his best to make them smile and feel better

is very good at knowing when his partner is lying, will find their tells very quickly and he would be really sad if they were lying about something that could hint at them cheating but he would feel even worse if they lied about their problems as to not ‘burden’ him. he wants to know about their problems, so he can help.

SEO CHANGBIN

always wants your attention, probably a bit clingy but not in the annoying way, in the cute way, would love just talking with you, no phones or anything, just you two, focused on each other

dramatic, always showing you off and yelling about how pretty you are and about how perfect he finds you, even when you’re not there with him

i feel like he’s actually really sensitive (i mean, when chan wrote that letter, remember?), so, there’s a chance a chance that when you guys argue he would start crying, most likely after though because he wouldn’t want you to see him break down

low maintenance, you don’t need to do much to make him happy, kiss his cheek and ruffle his hair affectionately and damn bitch, you got yourself a tamed and cheery pup

would probably really like singing with you, so, look out for all of those karaoke dates, even if you do sound like you’ve just swallowed a pineapple whole, including the skin and leaves (leaves, stalks? i don’t fucking know)

will always try to impress you, showing you new dances and raps, really wants to make you proud (even though you obviously already are)

HWANG HYUNJIN

hates fighting with you, so he tries to quickly resolve fights but if he’s actually really pissed off then it would probably end up with him breaking down and you having to comfort him

probably didn’t make the first move but was definitely crushing on you and really excited when you approached him and introduced yourself

will blush whenever you kiss his cheek or doing anything affectionate, especially in public or in front of the members, no matter how long you’ve been dating

really romantic, gets you flowers all the time, always takes you out for a fancy dinner whenever he sees you after a long time, buys you cute gifts, etc.

tells you that he loves you all the time. no matter the situation, when you leave the room, come back to the room, go out, when you wake up or at just random times, he just blurts it out. you two could be paintballing on opposite teams but he would still yell those three words across the field to you.

really loves holding your hands or just touching you in general (sexual and not 😉), puts his hand on your thigh when you two are in the car, always has his arm around your shoulders, kisses your jaw head every time you hug

HAN JISUNG

for some unknown reason i feel like he would have really high standards, so his future partner better feel fucking good if he chooses to be with her

gets shit done, you need to pack? bitch it’s done before you get to your bedroom. you want food? he’s already on the phone calling the local pizza place.

would notice all the little things about you, like the way you bite your nails or pull at your hair when you’re annoyed. he would be able to easily figure out how you’re feeling because of his observations

loves planning dates with you and always has the most ridiculous but ultimately hilarious and really fun ideas.

loyal as fuck, no hoe is getting their hands on your man, probably really sassy with anyone that hits on him.

bit picky about everything but i think he would try his best to compromise with you when it comes to certain things.

LEE FELIX

Plays video games a lot which really annoys you sometimes and you tend push him off the bed if he accidentally yells at you when you unintentionally distract him.

Really talkative and has the most random conversations with you but you don’t mind because they either turn out really cute or funny as all hell. Said conversations tend to happen at 3am in the kitchen while you two eat ice cream out of a tub with you sitting on the counter and Felix standing between your legs.

Loves taking you everywhere, whether that be to events, dance practice, concerts, on tour, everything. He just wants to be as close to you as possible and refuses to let anything get in the way of that.

Tends to show up late to dates but it definitely isn’t intentional, he just loses track of time or on some occasions dance practice, recording or song writing ran late. Always makes it up to you though.

A bit crazy but I mean so are you if he agreed to date you. Dance battles, food fights and hysterical laughter are all very common within your relationship and you both adore those regular occurrences.

Something you are very jealous of is his ability to look like the human definition of a rotten egg (bitch, he could never look anything less than perfect) and then, 10 minutes later, this GREEK MOTHERFUCKING GOD walks out of the damn bathroom.

KIM SEUNGMIN

really good problem solver and refuses to let arguments get out of hand. He doesn’t want you to be yelling at him when you could be cuddling or making out or watching tv or making music or laughing (etc.) with him.

does random things for you, like grabbing your phone for you, carrying your bag, bringing your dishes to the sink, answering your phone (if you say he can because you’re busy doing something), brushing your hair and more. He just likes helping you out as much as possible even if it’s with little mediocre tasks.

is very, very honest with you. Will tell you the truth about anything, how an outfit looks on you, his feelings, what happened to your leftovers, that rash on his ass (CUNT, WHAT-).

likes easy dates, going to the cinema, aquarium or zoo, a small picnic, a music festival maybe, even an art museum.

sometimes gets insecure and needs you to help him out of that bottomless pit, like, when he had so much trouble confessing to you because of his fear of rejection, it was fine though seeing as you liked him back (obviously! Who wouldn’t?)

is randomly silent sometimes which worries you but most of the time he’s either staring at you or daydreaming about you.

YANG JEONGIN

sometimes gets randomly moody but tries his best not to take it out on you and instead, walks out of the room to try and calm himself down or sometimes he just ignores you, so he doesn’t accidentally hurt your feelings, even though that would end up annoying you, lol.

Really likes receiving sentimental gifts, he doesn’t care if it’s not expensive or designer, he would definitely love a scrapbook or photo album about your relationship more than some stupid Gucci belt (can’t say the same for Taehyung though, lollll, I’m not funny).

Whenever you guys fought, he would leave because he hated the drama of it all. He would probably write you a letter as a form of apology. Speaking of letters, love letters! Or poems! Wait! Songs, he would fucking write songs for and about you, yes. Bitch!

Always sees the best in you and literally nothing about you seems like a flaw to him. In his opinion, you are legitimately perfect and bitch, if you tried to change anything, just know that this cutie would throw you over his shoulder before you even tried to change your style to look like everyone else.

He would love every second he spent with you, always taking pictures of you and everything you guys do, he’s just really fucking cute, which we all obviously already know.

If you rejected him because you were worried about him hurting you, get ready for this determined boy to prove you wrong, if he wants you, he’s going to get you (as long as it doesn’t make you uncomfortable).

[ourownsideimagines]

The Eye of the Storm (Crowley x Fem!College Student!Reader)

Characters: Crowley, fem!reader, reader’s asshole ex boyfriend, a friend named Raul.

Requested: Yes 

Requested by: Anon

Point of View: Second Person

Summary: When your ex won’t stop bothering you, your boyfriend Crowley takes it upon himself to help you.

Warnings: Stalking from an ex, harassment from ex, unwanted touching from ex, minimal editing. I might have cursed???

Words: 1436

A/N: I sprinkled in a thing from the book where when Crowley is under stress his eyes go red.

---

You’d never exactly thought of school as a safe haven - especially not now.

You’d been going to the same university for a number of years now, and in that time had met and dated a young man named Steven. The relationship had only lasted a little under a year, and ended when you’d realized just how controlling he was.

He’d never let you go out with friends, especially not other male or masculine-presenting friends. He had to know where you were at all times, and if you couldn’t talk for a certain period of time (like during tests or going to the cinema) he threw a fit. The last straw was when he began to track your phone.

After the initial break up he continued to show up after your classes, and he’d follow you around like a lost puppy begging for forgiveness. He even found your new place of work, much to your dismay. But now it seemed like he was finally leaving you alone. It had been months since your last encounter with him, and you had happily began to date the demon Crowley. You’d known him for a while, having met him your freshman year when taking a trip to A. Z. Fell and Co. Bookshop in Soho with your sister. You couldn’t remember just how you’d become friends, let alone how you’d figured out what he was, but you could remember every moment of falling in love with him.

In fact, he’d been the one to finally convince you to dump Steven. You’d neglected to tell him about the harassment that had followed, not wanting to get him all mixed up in your affairs but when your relationship developed you became nervous - you knew you’d have to tell him at one point or another. When it came to an end, it was a relief.

At least, you thought it was.

As another class came to an end, you exited the classroom with your friend, Raul, who was excitedly blabbing on about his plans for the next essay. You were only half listening, and your eyes wandered down the hall. You felt your blood run cold when you spotted Steven waiting by the exit route you usually took. You grabbed Raul’s arm and he came to a halt.

“Let’s take the other exit.” You said. Raul gave you a funny look.

“Is something wrong, (name)?” He asked. “You look white as a sheet.” You took in a deep breath.

“There’s just someone I’ve been trying to avoid over there.” You tugged him back in the direction of the other exit. It would mean more walking to get to your class, but you’d take that over Steven any way.

“Okay, okay,” He laughed nervously but allowed you to guide him. You weren’t sure if Steven saw you, but at that point you didn’t much care. Maybe if he saw you with Raul, he’d have the brains to keep away. Sure, despite his height and his muscles, Raul wouldn’t hurt a fly. But Steven didn’t know that.

“Oscar’s waiting for me in the cafeteria,” He told you. Oscar was his boyfriend. “Do you want to join us?”

“Can’t.” You sighed. “My next class starts in ten minutes.”

“Oh, then you better run.” Raul laughed. “Don’t want to miss Mr. Gibson’s lecture.” Raul had taken Mr. Gibson’s class last semester and would often listen to you rant on about it. And to be honest, a part of you couldn’t wait to get to the class. You weaved in and out of foot-traffic, head down as you texted Crowley, asking him to come pick you up. Typically you’d take the bus and then grab a taxi to Aziraphale’s shop, but you didn’t want to risk being stuck on public transport with Steven. Crowley texted you back almost immediately, saying to meet him out front when your class let out.

Your mind couldn’t help but wander during Mr. Gibson’s lecture. Typically you’d be able to at least scribble down a word here and there but all you could think of was the fear that Steven was waiting for you.

And he was. You didn’t notice him at first because he was unusually blended in with the crowd. It didn’t take you long to spot him, though, and your feet instinctively began to carry you a bit faster away. If there hadn’t been such a crowd flooding out of the classroom with you, you had no doubt he would have tried to make a scene - then make it look like you had started it. He was good at that kind of stuff, and it was another one of the many reasons you’d broken things off.

You were halfway to the meeting point with Crowley when he’d finally caught up with you. You tried to ignore him, each gentle call of your name. And you tried not to flinch at the more aggressive ones.

“Love,” He grabbed for your wrist, which you quickly yanked away, turning finally to face him.

“Don’t touch me.” You snapped at him. A few people nearby turned their heads, and you had to bite your tongue to keep from snapping at them as well. “Don’t call me that. I don’t want to talk to you, leave me alone.” You began walking again, and Steven followed.

“Love, c’mon I haven’t seen you in ages.” He didn’t make an attempt to grab you this time, to your relief. But he wasn’t slowing down. The cars were coming into view. A part of you hoped Crowley had decided to stand outside his car - the other part worried momentarily what might happen if he was.

“That’s why I broke up with you.” You were almost there. You began to walk a bit faster, but Steven sped up to keep pace.

“C’mon, I’ve learned my lesson, this really isn’t funny anymore.” To anyone, his tone would have sounded playful. But you knew better. He was seconds away from snapping, and that terrified you.

“You’re right, it’s not funny, so stop following me.” You all but spat. Just when you thought you were in the clear Steven seized your wrists and pulled you to him, face to face. “What the hell, let me go!” You cried out.

“Look at me,” He demanded. “Look at me.” You weren’t going to give him the satisfaction. “Come on, love, let me see those pretty eyes-”

“Pardon me,” A wave of relief crashed over you when Crowley’s words hit your ears. “But I’m gonna have to ask you to get your hands off of my partner.” He said, and you could hear the low hiss in his voice.

“(Name), who the bloody hell is this?”

“I’m her boyfriend.” Crowley put an arm around your waist and pulled you away from Steven, who had fought to keep his hold on your wrists, but you jerked both arms back quickly. Steven was flabbergasted. “And who might you be?”

“My ex,” You mumbled, remembering that they had never met during your period of dating. “Steven.”

“How… How could you do this to me?” Steven put a hand over his heart. “We had something, and you’re gonna throw it away for this…” Steven stopped mid sentence as his gaze came back to Crowley.

“This what?” Crowley hissed. Steven said nothing. You could see a faint glow of red beneath Crowley’s sunglasses. “What am I, Steven?” Said man opened his mouth to speak, but found his throat dry. “That’s what I thought. Now, how about you go back to your normal, boring classes? And how about you start leaving (name) alone? Because if I ever hear you’ve bothered her again you’ll have much more to worry about than failing the semester.”

There was a split second between the end of Crowley’s words and Steven making a mad dash back towards campus. The red from behind Crowley’s glasses had yet to fade, and you took it upon yourself to calm him down. You took his hand gently, and his head snapped in your direction. You brought his hand up to your face, placing a gentle kiss to his palm before pressing your face into it. You nuzzled his hand for a moment before reaching up your other hand to caress his face. The red began to dull, and if the two of you hadn't been standing out there in the open you might have dared to try to remove his glasses. You would have to settle for gentle touches though, which you didn’t mind.

Crowley rested his forehead against yours.

“I hate men.” He murmured.

“Yeah,” You replied. “Yeah, I know.”