#gonna call this the

[mx-myth]

Mlc au where li lianhua just. Doesn't re-enter the jianghu. He has a couple of Big Realisations and disassociates so hard that li xiangyi is permanently dead now and he's not touching that shit with a ten foot pole.

He still meets fang duobing except they meet during on of fdb's probationary cases because he's like, sprained his wrist. He's also bleeding a lil' bit everywhere so when he sits down at the booth where llh has set up shop llh is like who is this yucky boy. Fdb is like daifu I'll pay you x amount of money to heal me. Llh ups his first impression to yucky rich boy.

Anyway it turns about when llh isn't there to guide him fdb is really reckless. But guess what! He always meets li-daifu wherever his case is! Isn't it a miracle? (Llh is long-suffering. Why does this (his, unfortunately) yucky little rich boy keep coming back to him)

Very soon fdb starts giving him gifts instead of money (because he has no money management skills). He starts off small like flowers and little soaps then desserts and then suddenly he's showing up with a set of fancy robes for llh (who had seen fdb looking at him all intently when he was estimating his measurements and thought he was checking him out. It was the start of a minor - soon to be major and ongoing - crisis) (but it turns out he likes the fucking robes).

At some point fdb runs into A Spot during one of his cases and declares, to everyone in the vicinity, that he's li xiangyi's disciple. This is overheard by di feisheng's spymaster (I CANNOT remember what his name is) who reports it back to dfs, who is like hmm, interesting.

And obviously, the most logical response here is to kidnap him and announce that he has li xiangyi's disciple held hostage.

Llh hears of this, scoffs because xiaobao can take care of himself, paces for ten minutes, and then grumbles to himself while grabbing his sword and booking it. He bursts onto the scene and it's all like:

Dfs: ...li xiangyi? You're alive?

Fdb: li lianhua-daifu!!! ...why do you have a sword.

Dfs: oh, i get it, you went into hiding. *shaking fdb* is this your new boytoy

Llh: di feisheng! Unhand him, he's a paying customer!

Dfs, nodding: I see. Boyfriend then. But you haven't had the balls to court him properly, huh

They have an argument that is actually just them exchanging small talk. Fdb is slowly dying because this is dfs, villain of the jianghu, so why is he having a reaction to him scruffing him like a kitten? Also, is li-daifu actually li xiangyi???

Long story short about three weeks later dfs arrives for dinner. And then he just. Keeps showing up. The third time he shows up fdb is there also having dinner with llh. They bristle at each other like street cats but eventually it becomes a Thing That They Do.

(In the background dfs is picking up the fucking slack and destroying the whole nanyin revival plot. Fdb keeps unintentionally and accidentally foiling related plots as he takes cases)

(Fdb: I found this in my latest case and I don't know what it is. *holds up the Rama heavenly ice shard or whatever it is*

Dfs: ...it's a screwdriver.

Fdb, who has never seen a screwdriver in his life*: oh, okay *sticks in a drawer of the lotus tower and immediately forgets about it*)

(Dfs thinks it's amusing bordering on ridiculous because fdb just keeps bringing these artifacts back. But he doesn't know what they are and neither does llh so the lotus tower is turning out to be a really safe place to put them)

Also because this version of llh actually knows from the start that he wants to live. He just never actively looked for a cure because he didn't have much to live for in his little life. But now he does so he accepts the Styx flower or whatever dfs finds for him and they all live happily ever after.

(*Edit: oh I'm an idiot. Of COURSE fdb knows what a screwdriver is. He lives with the Queen of Inventing Clever Things (master he my beloved) for god's sake. I think if he knew dfs was lying to him he wouldn't be able to let it go, since we all know how he is. So I don't know what dfs would actually tell him lmao)

[themandylion]

Six Sentence Sunday

The fish man smiles with far too many teeth and bends over to gently pat his head. "It's alright, you don't have to pretend. We know you come from a very primitive society. The Angels rescued you before they realized their beneficence would be much better applied elsewhere."

"Gee," Jason forces through through grit teeth. "I'm so lucky."

[blabberoo]

Idk what au im cooking.. but Im cooking..

[knockknockwhosthereartistism]

I was inspired

[lastoneout]

"sugar is poison" sugar is your body's preferred fuel choice and if you stop eating it entirely you will die

[noelledeltarune]

EVERY SINGLE DAY there are MILLIONS of characters in their late 20s who get falsely accused of being father figures to teenagers when in reality the description of "weird older cousin" or "step-sibling that moved out before you were born" is 1000000x more apt

[10001gecs]

i think there’s something to be said about how the gig economy makes things ostensibly more convenient but also worse. and not just like, doordash guys take too long to get to you so your food is cold. but because the business model is centered around a million people doing work without any familiarity with what theyre doing and decentralized from the businesses they’re working with, you get service that’s being reinvented from scratch every time it’s purchased.

it happens all the time that I’ll order an uber and when they pick me up, they’ll just stop in the middle of the street with their hazards on, making me dodge traffic to get to them and pissing off the cars around them. and then I’ll get in the car and chat with the driver and find out they’re actually from two counties over and they’ve never driven here before, so they don’t know where parking is or whether they’re heading to a wide open parking lot or a busy downtown. and then you start to realize that they’re not being a dick, they’re just given as little information as possible every time they pick up a ride so they have to just guess how and where to pick up a passenger. and since they’re paid by ride, they’re incentivized to pick you up as fast as possible. and all the people who cared about finding a safe place to pick you up quit the app or stopped doing that so all you’re left with is the pissed off cockroach motherfuckers.

and then you see that this happens with every fucking app. doordash sucks because you pay 8 million dollars for delivery and you still have to hike half a mile to find the guy because he got lost in your apartment complex. Instacart sucks because the guy picking your groceries couldn’t care less about getting ripe fruit and replaces your heavy cream with shaving cream. customer support for all this sucks because the guy helping you can’t do anything more than offer you $5 credit, beg for your forgiveness, and hope you get out of the queue fast enough for him to go to the bathroom. because all of them aren’t given enough time to do a good job or enough money to care.

and every time a gig worker makes the experience suck for you, it’s a rational decision. they’re evaluating the money they’re being paid and if it’s worth getting paid less to do a good job, and correctly deciding that it isn’t. so you can’t even get mad, because you’d do it too. and so the company manages to pass on its race to the bottom to its lowest-paid employees.

[kitskiis]

He keeps doing this I’m gonna cry

[typewriter-worries]

The New York Times did a piece titled 100 Small Acts of Love and these are some of my favorites 💕

[unforth]

Y'all have got to stop virulently hating men. Like, I'm sorry, I fucking hate the patriarchy too, but the patriarchy isn't just men and saying it is just exculpates complicit women. I am the mother of a young boy, and I look at this precious, empathetic 8 year old boy I'm raising and I don't know where online is safe for him. Places like this will say he's evil just for his gender, and other places will say "we'll be your friend if you hate with us," and still others will radicalize him in other ways. Where is he supposed to go? Why are we saying the radicalization is the fault of the kids just trying to find a place to hang?

Like this is seriously getting urgent. You have got to fucking stop conflating the patriarchy and men. 53% percent of white women voted for Trump. Men aren't the problem. White supremacy and Christian patriarchal structures are two examples of patriarchy-reinforcing structures that aren't solely couched in maleness. Men aren't the problem, and pretending they are drives more men into more welcoming extremist spaces and also ignores all the parts of this that are forwarded by people who aren't men.

What I see happening all over is scared, depressed, lonely people looking for someone they're allowed to hate automatically, unquestioningly - someone they're allowed to place all the blame on. Fascism says people of color, non-Christian people, queer people, etc., are the ones they're allowed to hate.

And way too many of yall answer that no, it's leftist to hate men instead. You are doing *the exact same thing they are.*

Fucking knock it off.

The answer is we're not supposed to hate anyone automatically based on their immutable personal characteristics. Hate the specific people who've hurt you. Hate the self-reinforcing systems that let them get away with hurting you. Hate the strangers who prop up those systems. Hate the fascists. Hell knows I hate Donald Trump, but it's not because he's a man, it's because he's a piece of shit.

Hate the pieces of shit, not the gender.

But don't hate men just because they're men. That's unhelpful, stupid, insane, and entirely counterproductive. Fucking. Stop.

[wwillywonka]

hey so what the actual fuck

edit: that's the link to the video btw^^

[sunfortune]

need the eagles to win solely for this fox article i just read written in such contempt about their quarterback but ends up just making him sound funny as hell LMAO

[spitblaze]

I guess Chilchuck has brought us right back to 'adults who are short are child-coded and if you like them you're a pedophile' discourse huh

[paracosmicka]

have doodle lol

functionally, i am alive, emotionally?? idk about that work has me crying almost everyday now chat idk if i can do this anymore

[hoaxghost]

Unfortunately speaking, generational gap does exist even within the angelic hierarchy