#gonna call this the

[mx-myth]

Mlc au where li lianhua just. Doesn't re-enter the jianghu. He has a couple of Big Realisations and disassociates so hard that li xiangyi is permanently dead now and he's not touching that shit with a ten foot pole.

He still meets fang duobing except they meet during on of fdb's probationary cases because he's like, sprained his wrist. He's also bleeding a lil' bit everywhere so when he sits down at the booth where llh has set up shop llh is like who is this yucky boy. Fdb is like daifu I'll pay you x amount of money to heal me. Llh ups his first impression to yucky rich boy.

Anyway it turns about when llh isn't there to guide him fdb is really reckless. But guess what! He always meets li-daifu wherever his case is! Isn't it a miracle? (Llh is long-suffering. Why does this (his, unfortunately) yucky little rich boy keep coming back to him)

Very soon fdb starts giving him gifts instead of money (because he has no money management skills). He starts off small like flowers and little soaps then desserts and then suddenly he's showing up with a set of fancy robes for llh (who had seen fdb looking at him all intently when he was estimating his measurements and thought he was checking him out. It was the start of a minor - soon to be major and ongoing - crisis) (but it turns out he likes the fucking robes).

At some point fdb runs into A Spot during one of his cases and declares, to everyone in the vicinity, that he's li xiangyi's disciple. This is overheard by di feisheng's spymaster (I CANNOT remember what his name is) who reports it back to dfs, who is like hmm, interesting.

And obviously, the most logical response here is to kidnap him and announce that he has li xiangyi's disciple held hostage.

Llh hears of this, scoffs because xiaobao can take care of himself, paces for ten minutes, and then grumbles to himself while grabbing his sword and booking it. He bursts onto the scene and it's all like:

Dfs: ...li xiangyi? You're alive?

Fdb: li lianhua-daifu!!! ...why do you have a sword.

Dfs: oh, i get it, you went into hiding. *shaking fdb* is this your new boytoy

Llh: di feisheng! Unhand him, he's a paying customer!

Dfs, nodding: I see. Boyfriend then. But you haven't had the balls to court him properly, huh

They have an argument that is actually just them exchanging small talk. Fdb is slowly dying because this is dfs, villain of the jianghu, so why is he having a reaction to him scruffing him like a kitten? Also, is li-daifu actually li xiangyi???

Long story short about three weeks later dfs arrives for dinner. And then he just. Keeps showing up. The third time he shows up fdb is there also having dinner with llh. They bristle at each other like street cats but eventually it becomes a Thing That They Do.

(In the background dfs is picking up the fucking slack and destroying the whole nanyin revival plot. Fdb keeps unintentionally and accidentally foiling related plots as he takes cases)

(Fdb: I found this in my latest case and I don't know what it is. *holds up the Rama heavenly ice shard or whatever it is*

Dfs: ...it's a screwdriver.

Fdb, who has never seen a screwdriver in his life*: oh, okay *sticks in a drawer of the lotus tower and immediately forgets about it*)

(Dfs thinks it's amusing bordering on ridiculous because fdb just keeps bringing these artifacts back. But he doesn't know what they are and neither does llh so the lotus tower is turning out to be a really safe place to put them)

Also because this version of llh actually knows from the start that he wants to live. He just never actively looked for a cure because he didn't have much to live for in his little life. But now he does so he accepts the Styx flower or whatever dfs finds for him and they all live happily ever after.

(*Edit: oh I'm an idiot. Of COURSE fdb knows what a screwdriver is. He lives with the Queen of Inventing Clever Things (master he my beloved) for god's sake. I think if he knew dfs was lying to him he wouldn't be able to let it go, since we all know how he is. So I don't know what dfs would actually tell him lmao)

[blabberoo]

Idk what au im cooking.. but Im cooking..

[knockknockwhosthereartistism]

I was inspired

[lastoneout]

"sugar is poison" sugar is your body's preferred fuel choice and if you stop eating it entirely you will die

[noelledeltarune]

EVERY SINGLE DAY there are MILLIONS of characters in their late 20s who get falsely accused of being father figures to teenagers when in reality the description of "weird older cousin" or "step-sibling that moved out before you were born" is 1000000x more apt

[typewriter-worries]

The New York Times did a piece titled 100 Small Acts of Love and these are some of my favorites 💕

[cubbyhole-for-flea-bee]

Macaque spent the whole season Big-Damn-Hero-ing and was NOT happy about it xD

[spitblaze]

I guess Chilchuck has brought us right back to 'adults who are short are child-coded and if you like them you're a pedophile' discourse huh

[evermoreal]

thinking abt some kind of outlaw!au where the 141 walk away from a raid with a lot more than they bargained for.

౨ৎ *· edit: this is now a series!

a few weeks back they’d received word of a nobleman and his wife who’d be leaving for their honeymoon, valuables aboard the carriage. after a bit of lurking and bribing, they’d narrowed down just which road was desolate and wild enough to get away with the raid.

concealed by the bordering forests, they’d waited. an embarrassingly opulent carriage came dawdling down the road (polished wood, velvet curtains, ostentatious engravings) & they pounced.

the drivers & guards, they’d expected. the gunshots, the shouting. what took them by surprise, though, was the wife, who did not fight as gaz wrestled her into his arms. who watched a little too closely when ghost dragged his blade across her husband’s chest, demanding the location of their funds.

“where’s’a money?” price questioned, moving towards the woman when her husband’s pride weighed heavier than his cowardice. his broad palm gripped her jaw as gaz held her arms behind her back. “hm, lovey? y’speak english? y’better tell me, or your sweetheart ‘ere ‘ll be gutted before tha night’s over.”

she watched her husband writhe for a long moment, before meeting price’s gaze. her voice was flat, steady. “kill him.”

soap barked a laugh. ghost cocked his head.

price, though, was intrigued.

“kill ‘im?” he echoed. then, he lifted her hand, yanking the diamond ring off her finger and pinching it between his fingers. “wha’ bout this? just a rock, is it? ‘till death do us part’ mean nothin’ to ya?”

“words don’t mean much when you’re forced to say them, sir.”

“forced?” price questions, narrowed eyes flicking across your features. he looks to your husband, then, who’s soiled his pants. “tha fuck is this muppet forcin’?”

price is quiet for a while, watching your husband as he wriggles in ghost’s grip. when he meets your gaze, there’s a small, barely-there curve to his chapped lips. “you really want ‘im dead?” there’s an amusement to his tone, a disbelief.

you steel your gaze. “yes.”

the curve of his lips bends into a grin, and you’ve barely exhaled before he’s lifting his pistol, aiming it at your husband’s head, and shooting.

limp, he falls to the ground.

you don’t flinch. in fact your voice is steady when you state, “the money’s in the chest, beneath the seats.”

once again, price approaches you. grips your jaw, tilts your face this way and that. he taps your cheek twice, and says, “you heard the woman. soap, get the money. gaz, tie ‘er up, she’s with me.”

[what-am-i-doing-in-this-fandom]

Suddenly, bell bottoms aren't so bad

Bonus sketch, because I had to vv

"Stop checking out my assistant, Stanley."

[spacespacespace]

Someone’s talks abt superboy and robin and I’m js like

Do you mean loser nerd robin and cool cloned superboy?

Or the stabby stab stab robin and ray of sunlight superboy?

[gingerswagfreckles]

After 146 days, the Writer's Strike has ended with a resounding success. Throughout constant attempts by the studios to threaten, gaslight, and otherwise divide the WGA, union members stood strong and kept fast in their demands. The result is a historic win guaranteeing not only pay increases and residual guarantees, but some of the first serious restrictions on the use of AI in a major industry.

This win is going to have a ripple effect not only throughout Hollywood but in all industries threatened by AI and wage reduction. Studio executives tried to insist that job replacement through AI is inevitable and wage increases for staff members is not financially viable. By refusing to give in for almost five long months, the writer's showed all of the US and frankly the world that that isn't true.

Organizing works. Unions work. Collective bargaining how we bring about a better future for ourselves and the next generation, and the WGA proved that today. Congratulations, Writer's Guild of America. #WGAstrong!!!

[minnow-doodle-doo]

Harsh consquenses.

Pt. 1

[roach-works]

pokemon theory i just thought of: new pokemon appear in the pokemon universe when they're designed in this one. they're created ex nilho but they have retroactive realness; they weren't here yesterday, but today they've always existed.

pokemon researchers have had to suss this out on their own over decades, and it's a really unpopular theory, made worse by the fact that no one can come up with a better one. from their perspective pokemon generate spontaneously but in both chronological directions, and the similarities of many pokemon seem to be detived from a conscious and creative understanding of the world--their world, though? what other world could there be?. there are ice cream pokemon and pokeball pokemon and sword pokemon and trash bag pokemon.

there are so many pokemon with both wings and a beak. is this like swords? is there an ur-flying type that this class evokes? there are so many canine pokemon. but what is a canine? is there such a thing? there's only one set of sword pokemon, right. one tea-set line. is *feline* a coherent category? would the ur-feline have two legs or four? why do so many pokemon have humanlike bodyplans-- but then again, why so few?

pichu has always been the prior form of pikachu. why didn't it get counted in order? why do we call it that instead of saying pikachu is the middle evolution of the pichu line? why can so many trainers remember finding this out well into their journeys? why didn't ash start with one?

this is why pokemon researchers do a lot of labwork, drink heavily, and use ten year olds for field research. you can't have an existential crisis if you don't even know what time is yet.

[egophiliac]

still ruminating over Lost In the Book With Spooky Skeletons Part 1, so here's a selection of some of my favorite little bits! (...some more loosely paraphrased than others) (I just feel like Idia has no room to criticize in general, okay)

anyway, I'm sure we're just going to have a fun time celebrating Halloween and nothing bad is going to happen whatsoever! :)

[cesiscribbles]

More ineffable parents and the mystery baby!