#going to sleep. too tired to think
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I don't know what im doing. This is the first weekend in a long time where I just don't know what to do with myself. I really dont get enough free time to do stuff actually for me anymore. Im usually doing or creating things for someone else and like right now. I love making them but
i dont wanna do anything but there's people waiting and deadlines to meet and preparing so im not completely stressed later. I havent wanted to do anything in a long time. Like draw or talk. My brain has been so foggy since the start of the year.
I genuinely cant think of my usual funny comments or ideas. I wanna be fun but my head is so empty most of the time i cant even think to respond cuz brain fog is so bad. I wanna do nothing and say nothing.
#my brain is fried. my memory is worse#ignore me im just eh. i'd like to not be any more boring this week lol#going to sleep. too tired to think#flame vents
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doodley
#xmen#xmen evolution#charles xavier#professor x#snap sketches#ignoring the comedic rollercoaster of xmen comic twit rn by doodling the man of the hour on there jAELKVJAKL#i started this on the train home from the city hi ....#yeah thats it. thats all i got.#i think im finally done with all the 'busy' things this month and i can ACTUALLY relax now#or at least ACTUALLY focsu on comm stuff since ive still been having to juggle that with other things#but yeah NOOWWWW im all done with major events .. for at least a week... maybe two#hopefully this means ill be able to draw personal stuff like this more .. i know i have a lot of doodles backed up#ok bye im tired. this is Blah and thats ok cause itsj ust a doodle and this the first time ive drawn charles with his evo outfit#aka My Dad Wore An Outfit Similar Enough To It That I Felt Inclined To Draw It After I Got Comm Sketches Done JLAEKJAERK#bye fr now. ima nap and then play some rivals#'snap its like 9PM just go to sleep' no that's too sensical. BYE
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Matching pyjamas mayhaps?:3
#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#bungo stray dogs dazai#soukoku#skk#my art#bsd art#Ngl this looks like loungewear I think lmao im sorry#I legit looked up pajamas and then i was like…hmm#on my first attempt it did look more like pyjamas I promise#the height difference is not accurate SHHH im sorry by the time I ‘realized’ I got too lazy—-#every time I post I hope things dont look over saturated I fr dont know#I stare on different devices sometimes to check but#this i what I get for posting late instead of sleeping#what sleep#I am going to be so tired tomorrow *rambles in tags*#I read my tags later on and wonder why did I write an essay
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I like them a whole lot 💜
#tf2#tf2 fanart#team fortress 2#tf2 medic#tf2 engineer#science party#engiemedic#digital art#artists on tumblr#you can see these as platonic if you want#anyways theyve just been on my brain a lot and i needed to get them out#im a peach fuzz engie truther sorry#hed only be like that for like a week every 2 months but that wouldnt stop me from drawing it anyways#also my medic drawings are so fucking inconsistent i am so sorry it will happen again#his eyebrows are always fire tho#my tablet died when i was nearly finishing the second drawing so i had to color it with my mouse SOBS#i think medic looks a bit twinkish in the second pic and i hate it but im too tired to fix it#also tablet not working as i mentioned before#anyways goodnight im going to sleep (it is 6 pm)#demos art
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i've seen figure skater sanji and hockey player zoro before. idk if its been explored but i'd love to put it out there:
hockey player sanji (specifically goalie bc he desperately wants to avoid being checked) and then pairs skater zoro.
pairs skater zoro's long time partner has been nami. though many people ship them together a Lot, they just know each other super well. Well enough to try dating and both of them realized they don't swing that way. in fact, it makes them a really good team. they fought long and hard to claim top spots in competitions because they portray a chemistry that's separate from the rest. plus zoro can carry nami like she weighs fucking nothing. so their lifts are so much more dynamic. they even have a whole next to impossible combination that they're trying to get the ISU to name after them officially.
sanji plays for the East Blue Straw Hats in the Grand Line Hockey League – a formidable rookie group that took down lots of big names in the preseason. they want to make it all the way to the postseason playoff finals but always seem to fall short. but theyre so determined. they reignited a lot of old sparks that were no longer there for old fans and brought in new and curious fans. sanji is the starter goalie and a damn good one at that. it makes sense bc goalies are often doing splits on the ice just to make a save. he's perfected the technique that utilizes just his legs to make saves that make the crowd go fuckin insane.
we have the usual "i booked the rink to practice before you did" trope but a little more spice. in actuality, sanji loves watching pairs skating competitions. his favorite pair rn is franky and robin (mostly for robin). and he adamantly does not want to admit to anyone that he watches zoro and nami's routines much more frequently. (and if anyone asks, he always says its bc of nami. its never just bc of nami.) and zoro's besties with luffy so he always watches their matches even if he barely understands the rules. and he definitely does not stare at a certain blond starter goalie most of the match thats fucking ridiculous
one day zoro and sanji are invited to do one of those comparison videos between hockey players and figure skaters. both get to laugh at the other even Attempting to do their sport. zoro frankly looks ridiculous in all of sanji's usual goalie get-up. and sanji couldn't land an euler to save his life. the video producer suggests they try a simple pairs skating routine. sanji is like "oh i couldn't do that–hEY WHAT THE FUCK MOSSHEAD PUT ME DOWN" because zoro lifted sanji and had him sat on his shoulder like it was normal.
zoro smirks, "you might be lighter than nami, actually. wanna be my new partner?"
sanji knees him in the stomach before skating away while blushing so hard he could melt the ice beneath him.
#listen#both figure skating (most especially pairs skating and ice dancing) AND hockey were my hyperfixations at one point#and zoro? built like a pairs skating man#sanji? has the ass of a hockey player#iT MAKES SENSE TO ME !#but also the dichotomy of zoro doing a graceful sport and sanji in a fast paced brutal game#idk man im too tired to psychoanalyze why i think pairs skating actually works well with zoro's philosophy on strength and balance#and sanji's phobia of being checked tied to many little league games that led him to become a formidable goalie#i COULD GO ON#But i will sleep instead#one piece#sanji#roronoa zoro#zosan#niki's log: op#niki's fics: checks and balances#dO YOU GET THE PUN IN THE TITLE GOD IM SO ANNOYING !!!!!#lowkey my contribution to zosan week even if it might not fit any promprs#i just wanna feel included
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The nitpicker arrives. I dislike it when people say testament has “transcended gender”, its absurdly common for something that hasnt been said officially. First off i assume people are mixing up daisuke’s quote about them “transcending humanity”. He essentially says testament is sexually androgynous due to not being human, being something above humanity, which really is not an uncommon idea. Their early coding revolved around the conflation of sex and gender, saying something was going on with them while still considering them to be a man. What i think was less typical though is daisuke’s obvious very genuine interest in depicting testament androgynously in general, and well that intention was fully realized with making them explicitly agender in strive. And really, while its VERY interesting history, that previous statement shouldnt be applied to testament as of strive. Riku ozawa said outright that the team wanted to change how they handled testament’s gender, seemingly referencing the phrasing of that daisuke quote and proposing something new in its place. Developer backyard vol 10 says testament lives “without the concept of gender”, phrasing that has a lot less implied Otherness and lack of agency than “transcending humanity”, especially with referring to gender as a concept. Admittedly this is still attached to them being a gear, possibly still with implications about their body, but its pretty clear that the japanese fandom’s idea of testament’s body being related to their androgyny has changed with these statements and i’ll trust them on that. It was never about identity before strive, i think a lot of people dont really get that. Theres a reason for the shift in phrasing alongside the shift in their portrayal.
Just wanted to ramble about this. Ummm my bad. I love that daisuke quote, i’ve tried to do as much as i can to research it, to find more information and proof of its existence (DID YOU KNOW. Theres currently no actual archival of it’s origin. It was allegedly in a mail-only arcsys fanclub newsletter, probably from the first 4 volumes in 1998/99. We only have volume 15 currently. But it’s existence is fortunately kind of undeniable at this point. I wont ramble further.), but it drives me crazy seeing people both misquote it and incorrectly apply it to strive testament. Okay
#sorry i went crazy and typed this instead of going back to sleep like i should have. i think i only got like 5 hours. fml. but testament…!#SORRY IF NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE I CANT TELL RIGHT NOW IM TIRED!!!!!#idk i see it too much. and it feels like an unwillingness to recognize them as just being transgender. sometimes#they are just trans now and its cool. but they were something else before and thats interesting.#the kat goes meow
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shit man he's downright POSTITNOTE'D
#ouma kokichi#kokichi oma#drv3#im so tired#good luck with may gamers lets get through it!!!!! (sleepiest voice imaginable)#i got nothhing else to say bye mwa#maiora draws#wait i do actually does anyone wanna see the bleedthrough#questionmark#*spooky bgm* there's a secret forurth kokichi that lives exclusively it the confines of other-side-of-the-page and a layer of varnish ooooo#its SO unimpressive <3 it's just there. buried under inappropriate use of material and postits#truly a nothing burger!!!#he just stares at me when i look throu the book. taunting.#you too can be haunted by the face of 'finish your fucking perspective studies maiora' for the LOW low price of asking nicely!!#as a gift <3#taunted#you get it#im babbling at this point all of this is in the name of a silly goofy time (mine) all is good#im v sleep deprived#i don't actually know english the more i think about it#i need to stop procrastinating im going back to stress time BYE HAVENICEDAY
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God I wish we knew more about Dunyasha
#guess what chapter I’m listening to hard edition#it’s chapter 35#this is supposed to be helping me go to sleep and all I can think about is Dunyasha#I might come back to this tomorrow to talk about her properly but I’m too tired now#she’s so fascinating#I have so many questions#I would fully read an entire novella dedicated to her I’m not even joking#like the lore that it would provide us???#the worldbuilding it would add????#*sighs dreamily*#I wish#six of crows#crooked kingdom#grishaverse#leigh bardugo#Dunyasha#kaz brekker#inej ghafa#jesper fahey#wylan van eck#matthias helvar#nina zenik#crooked kingdom meta#soc meta
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19.09.23, tuesday
tired !! but nOT SLEEPY damnit
things done today:
2h lecture
4h of coding
#but i should be sleepy bc it’s 8pm and i’m trying to go to sleep early#but I also would need an evening walk to reset my brain I think#but im tired#but if I won���t go I might not be able to rly sleep too well#but !! i am !! tireddd !!#and i dont want to go !!!!!#studyblr#bookblr#booklr#aesthetic#books#study#reading#read#book#studyspo#dark academia#september 2023#2023
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You know something is Deeply Wrong with you when you get into a car crash and then immediately correlate your thought to, "holy shit. This is JUST like my friend's modern cotl au ?????"
#sydneys thoughts#i dont remember it happening though but maybe its just cuz of my already brain damage ?#Not saying that as a joke I gen do have brain damage to clarify nd it messes with my ability to walk properly && communications#<- (ex; my language barrier + frequent misreading & misconception ppl + rarely talking + anxiety + etcetc)#I was rlly tired on the road cuz my lack of sleep but i was also thinking abt the game to stay awake but then That happened 🗿#HELPPP. The autism may have been a little too strong#Still going to school tmrw though 🫡 we MUST stay focused brothers! INSHALLAH!
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#going crazy over the grandline sountrack cds again#I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THEM ALL WEEK#WHYYYYY ARE THEY LIKE THIS#posted it onto sanuso daily while rubbing my little paws together like muahaha the masses r gonna love this one#i need to draw them cuddling and resting next to eachother and sleeping and#(im tired so i need them to be well rested too)#it's summer so i have a lot more time now!!! YIPPEEE#op#one piece#sanuso#usosan#sanji#usopp
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✨𝒫𝒶𝓈𝓈𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒻𝓁𝒶𝓈𝒽𝑒𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓇𝓁𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉✨
#-opens my hand as if to present a treat but it is instead more sad Ymir art- 😊#I HAVE HAD THIS CONCEPT IN MY BRAIN FOR TOO LONG#TAKE IT AWAY#elden ring#count ymir#elden ring shadow of the erdtree#my work#elden ring dlc#shadow of the erdtree#elden ring sote#sote#elden ring art#elden ring fanart#ymir mother of fingers#manus metyr#ymir elden ring#count ymir elden ring#drawing the astrolabe? shockingly fun and rewarding#i think there are concepts here im just too tired to elucidate... theres stuff. im sure of it#-waves hands vaguely- you know its like. passing stars. starlight shards. passing on. are stars dead by the time the light reaches us?#joining the stars. being amongst them. being made of them. falling with them.#but maybe it's also like...paralleling the curtains and big stone basin bed in Marika's room#maybe its 3am and i need to go to sleep#ah but also the moon...
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couple of mello + near doodles
#death note#mello#mihael keehl#near#nate river#meronia#bright colors#eyestrain#been having fun w colors recently :3#these are the product of me really really really not wanting to do some discussion boards#like i don’t even hate discussion boards but something about them has been filling me with dread i’d rather just do exams tbh#i'm like dragging myself through the rest of this semester but it's different from last semester last semester i was losing my mind#this semester i've been able to sleep more than 4 hours a night and go outside bc it's not freezing but also i'm just so fucking done#with school i've been here too long i'm tired but i'm always tired and will always be tired it's tragic honestly i think i'd be more cool#with school if i weren't living how i am rn w my family but eh i don't have the money to move out so it's whatever and it doesn't really#help that i know i'll have to get at least a master's to really do anything in my field and the though of doing more of this makes#me so tired i think i might take a gap year after i get my bachelors this fall idk#anyways enjoy my doodles or don't if you don't want to i'm not the boss of you
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hi! i havent been on tumblr in a Hot minute but i wanted to come here JUST to tell you that hfbe might be my fave pla fic ive read ao far! the worldbuilding and the characterization of everyone just feels so so right i fall in love
i reread it on ao3 and even tho its not completed its still a joy to reread everytime
Hello hello!! Anon you have no idea how much it meant to me to get to read this. Knowing I put something out there that you wanted to back to and reread means A LOT.
I’m glad you like it so much but man I have been editing the first two chapters (fixing errors, making characters say and do things that are more in line with how I write them now, and just adding scenes in between to help things seem more clear or hit harder), and I’m like man this really isn’t that good haha.
It’s fun to see how much I think I’ve improved since I’ve started trying to write fanfics (I wasn’t aware of how obsessed I had been with commas and run-on sentences at the start lol)
So reading this nice message really gives me such a boost of motivation. I’m so glad you like the worldbuilding, and it makes me excited to get more out because later chapters are when I really introduce specifics on a lot of things. Namely the Pearl Clan’s hunting parties, that has been my favorite.
Now I just gotta get more out! Hoping to put more out for you to read soon kind anon, I really appreciate that you find it’s something you like to reread!
For now, here is a snippet below the cut; I am unsure if I have shared this before, but it’s a scene where Ingo is preparing to advocate for the Clan to use pokeballs to store their pokemon in, so that there is less food consumption (as in HFBE, it’s emphasized that pokeballs put pokemon into a stasis where they don’t need to eat, drink, sleep, etc. for as long as they’re in them. Ingo does it with his pokemon, and he wants the clan to do it too, for their own sakes).
Wording is subject to change (VERY MUCH SO), but enjoy!
—————
“Excuse me Miss Irida, but may we talk for a moment?”
The Pearl Clan leader turned back to see Ingo – he was trailing behind the group, purposefully so. He had been waiting for the right moment to approach her.
“Right now?” Irida’s eyes flickered back over the tops of people’s heads, up towards the communal hall at the top of the hill. “I’m sorry, but can it wait until after the meeting?”
“It is actually about the meeting.” Ingo’s grey eyes were unwavering, waiting — he wanted to ask her something. And Ingo was not one to usually ask for things.
“Ok,” She relented, pausing in the snow both so he could catch up, and they could have their conversation with some privacy. “You have until we reach the hall.”
“Thank you, I assure you it will be quick.” Ingo fell into step beside her, shuffling through the snow as they now both trailed behind the group heading towards the warm hall. He kept his head tilted down just like her, using the brim of his hat to protect against the wind and snowfall. “I, well… I am planning to re-propose a proposition at this meeting tonight. I’d like to make another attempt at advocating for the use of pokeballs.”
“Tonight? Are you serious?” Irida lowered her voice for his sake, looking back between him and the group. How could he possibly think about proposing that when this meeting was for them to discuss how to prepare for this famine? “I’m saying this not as your leader but as your friend, Ingo; now is absolutely not a good time for that. Everyone is already going into this meeting angry. And if you try and start this again, they’re going to-”
Irida took a deep breath; she was already getting stressed over it.
“You know how people are going to react to that. You know who it’s going to upset, Ingo. Especially after last time. And you said you’d let it go.”
“I am well aware of what I said and I intended to stick to it, but these circumstances have changed our tracks, and I believe this may save us from derailing!” Ingo whispered back. He kept throwing quick glances at the nearing hall, gauging how much time he had left to persuade her. “Pokeballs can help us much more than the clan realizes – I’m confident that this can bring us closer to a solution, if not at least be a part of one!”
Irritation and confusion were replaced with genuine curiosity, but a fleck of doubt hesitantly followed after. Irida shook her head, not understanding. “How could they possibly help with all of this?”
“I will explain that in the meeting.” Having conquered the snowy hill, the two reached the warm light that spilled through the hall’s windows to project onto the snow. “But to do that, I need to actually present my proposal, and I’m afraid that will be difficult with the elders tonight. I am trying this for the fourth time now, and I’m aware of how this will most likely be received. I expect they’ll call to send me back to my seat before I even start.”
Ingo paused just outside the doors, waiting for Irida to go in first — she could do so and end the conversation right now if she wanted to, but she didn’t. Instead she stood there, staring at their fading shoeprints in the snow.
Irida could see why he approached her about this now, and a part of her felt sorry for him. “So you want me to vouch for you.”
“Not the proposal itself. Just the time to talk.”
#wayward’s asks#sorry for the late response I am still having stomach problems#so I still feel like I have no energy#to do much of anything#doing my best to get energy to do things I wanna do!!!!#instead of blowing all of it on things I NEED to do and having nothing left to have fun!!!#and that includes wanting to write more HFBE and my other fics oughhh#RANT ABOUT EFFECTS OF FOOD DEPRIVATION BELOW IF YOU WANT TO AVOID THAT#I talked about this last time I got sick too#but going through what I’m going through has made coming back to HFBE… certainly an experience#I don’t have it as bad as Ingo obviously and never will I know that much#but man I had wondered at the time if I was pushing things too hard with him#about how he’s cold and tired all the time and wants to sleep all the time#and can’t focus or hold conversations and being shakey#and that people even comment on him#it’s weird coming back to that and reading it and thinking ‘that is me’#it’s just. weird reading stuff I wrote during a time I was much healthier and never even thought I’d go through the same thing#and I’m dealing with all this while my situation isn’t nearly as bad as his#now it makes me wonder if it was not bad enough#but I don’t want to go harder on him#Not unecessarily#Akari would not let that happen anyways#ref for fic
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Actually, Y'all can see these as well
Based off @/xinrouska's dtiys on Instagram (i dont know if they're chill being tagged over here)
I am obsessed with their villain Leo (and artstyle in general) and am going slightly feral for it lol
#sad•leonart#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise donatello#rise donnie#rise leo#rise leonardo#i think... i might put that 2al animatic i have cooking to the side for a bit#...... maybe......#ive just been so tired and angry and i dont know why but i hate ut#actually scratxh that#i do know why but im not giving in#anyways- take these goofy guys and im gonna go read and sleep before i vent and overshare on tumblr dot com#it was very experimentive for me#i dont think thats the word i was looking for but itll do#i was gonna do greyscale like the origin but i wanted to add colors#i did a stupid layer thing that got rid of the colors in their clothes but oh well#by the time i notuced it was too late to fix it
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Y’all thinking about an older Ares has RUINED me
#hyrule warriors#hw link#kheprri rambling#fucked by the ‘perfect hero’ treatment and is a little hit jaded and scruffy and i am INSANE FOR IT#he does not cope well and i love that for him#obsessed with him. been thinking about him for a couple months now for my wargod au and yall i cannot stop#volga gets the treatment too but its slightly less noticeable coz hes a dragon#also sorry about there being nothing going on. every time i want to start on something i get hit by just utter pain and cant focus#so ive just been playing games and sleeping trying to get through it lol#but that also gave me a lot of thinking time for the aus. especially the main one (and this one obv)#also sorry if u dont vibe with the headcanon/au. hes far from being a dick or entitled hes just tired of being perfect for others—#—and just wants to live in peace with his dragon bf lmao#2024+ is the era of khep(me) forcing myself to draw facial hair because ive always been afraid of not doing it right#actually i love drawinf facial hair and all hair in general tbh im just horrified of people being like ‘lol ur wrong die’ XD#anyways sorry. rambling. too many brain thoughts not enough outlets for#will be posting the mistflier species sheet wip on kofi eventually i just wanna type the words out to make it more legible#it IS still a wip and thats why its gonna be going on kofi until its finished#<- and also coz its tailnrr related
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