#I might come back to this tomorrow to talk about her properly but I’m too tired now

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

God I wish we knew more about Dunyasha

[penelopepine]

Elephant in the Room Pt. 4

Part 3 Part 4

Summary: John and you hooked up after a night at the bar. You two after that never saw each other again. At least until 12 years later when Price discovers that 9 months after your time together you had given birth to not one baby, but two. Word Count: 2309

Price continues to avoid you even after getting back to base. That seems to be what you want right now as well if the glare you shoot his way when he attempts to carry a few of the bags inside was anything to go by. With that in mind he swiftly made his retreat; leaving the rest of the team to help the two of you get settled while he excused himself on account of needing to do some paperwork.

His mind was racing far too much for him to truly focus on that though. Price tries to stay away, but after a few hours he can't help but find himself at your door once more today. Things like this do require space, but they also need to be discussed as soon as possible lest resentment and anger continue to grow. Ghost's words from earlier echoing in his mind. 

He knocks firmly on the door, and waits to see if you'll open the door, and surprisingly you do. You don't seem surprised to see him either. The two of you stand there in silence for what feels like hours before your moving, and gesturing for him to come inside. 

The silence continues even after the door shuts and you lead him to the living room. Price sits across from you, and only then does he finally speak, "I know the things that have been happening are my fault, and I'm- I'm sorry. I am going to fix things though. The only thing I'm begging of you is that I get a chance to talk to Amelia and Andrew." 

“No, no this isn’t your fault John. I shouldn’t have implied that I thought it was earlier. It’s just- everything is happening so fast; I mean just a few days ago everything was perfectly normal, and now it feels like I’m in an unending nightmare.” You explain to him before taking a calming breath, “Would you … like to talk to Amelia tomorrow? She was asking about you earlier, and I admittedly didn’t have any answers for her” 

“May I ask how much they do know about me; about us?” 

It's here where he sees a wave of sadness hit you. "They know just about as much as I do. I told them your name, that you were a lieutenant when I met you, and that you were kind. They also know that we weren't any official. Would be a bit hard to lie about not knowing your last name if I said we were."

Price softly whispers your name before continuing, "I shouldn't have left like I did, love. You didn't deserve that. Maybe things would be different now if I did."

"I tried to find you John, I wanted things to be different." 

"There was only so much you could have done. Heaven knows there are hundreds of 'Johns' in the military." He pauses here thinking about the conversations he's had with you today, "I still haven't properly introduced myself to you."

You let go of a soft laugh at his words. This might be the first time seeing any sort of happiness on your face since meeting you again. "Well go on then! I'd love to finally know my children's father's name." 

"John Price, and it's captain now."

"Captain John Price." You look at him with a soft smile, "it suits you." 

He likes the way you say his name. It only makes him wish he could have told you it all those years ago. You both sit in comfortable silence for a moment before he asks, "Were you serious about letting me talk to Amelia tomorrow?"

"Maybe- maybe you could come by for lunch; talk to her then." 

"I'd like that." He answers you with a gentle tone. "What is she like; what is Andrew like?"

Your eyes are soft and smile sweet as you reply to him, "Amelia … She's a good kid; smart too, but a little spitfire that one. I don't think that girl has ever been afraid of confrontation. Very blunt, I'll warn you now about that. I'd prepare yourself for some hard questions from her."

"Good to know," Price nods at the information you've shared. He can only imagine right now what a kid who's meeting their father for the first time in 12yrs could ask. "And Andrew?"

"Football is life is a phrase I'm pretty sure he actually lives by with how much I've heard him say it." You lightly chuckle at your words, and wipe a fallen tear from your cheeks before continuing, "He's a sweet boy though; always wanting to include others in whatever he does." 

"They sound like great kids." He pauses for only a moment, "You're a good mum." 

Your eyes snap up to meet him when you hear this with surprise shining through your face. "Thank you," your voice cracks out.

Price takes a moment of silence before speaking again, "It's late and I don't want to keep you up any longer, love."

You walk him to the door, and before you shut it you whisper, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow." Hell or high water he'll be here tomorrow. He won't let you down again.

-

It's the next morning and only a few hours until his first conversation with his daughter when Laswell decides to make a sudden appearance in his office. “John.” 

“Laswell,” He addresses her, “what you got for me?”

She steps up to his desk and immediately hands him a folder, “Information about who took Andrew.” 

Instantly opening up the folder Price sees the name of the same group who had managed to take him captive for a few hours months ago. He had always thought that the interrogation had been odd. They didn’t ask for any information, any codes, or any future plans the team had. Instead they had swabbed his mouth, and left him alone for most of his time there. 

Looking back on it now though their intentions are becoming more clear. They didn’t want to simply torture information out him; they wanted to take something seemingly much more important to him. This was in the plans for much longer than he realized. 

Flipping through the other pages he sees a printed scene shot of a DNA test website. It shows a profile with his name being listed as father above Andrews’. That's how they found Andrew it seems; by a stupid online genetic test. 

"Where are we now on getting him back?"

"We have a basic location on their base of operation as of now. Be prepared to be sent out on a moment's notice; even for today. We're getting this kid back as soon as we can."

"I can agree with you on that. Has anything else been sent to us since the video?"

Laswell shakes her head at him, "Nothing as of yet. Which we should take as a good thing. Hopefully that means Andrew has been left alone for the most part."

"We can only hope."

She takes a step closer to him, and gives his shoulder a quick squeeze, "We're going to get him back, John.” With a slight pause she continues, “What about the girls; how have things been with them?” 

“Well I’ve been allowed to have a conversation with Amelia today so things are doing good, all things considered.” 

“Yeah? Are you ready for that?”

“Laswell.” 

“Yes, John?”

“How do you talk to 12 year old girls?” 

Laswell gives a small chuckle at Price’s question, “Don’t treat her like a soldier for one, and two … I’d just be honest about whatever questions she might have. She probably already feels like her life has been turned upside down. The last thing she wants right now is to be treated like she can’t handle knowing the truth.” 

“So just be honest about everything?” 

“Well she is 12 so there are going to be things you’ll probably want to explain in a more age appropriate way, but 12 year olds aren’t babies; they can handle having a serious conversation.” 

“And what if she’s angry?” Price can’t help but ask. Of all things, that is the one that he’s not sure how to properly react to or handle that.

Laswell merely sighs at him, “She’s going to be angry. You just need to stay calm, actively listen to what she says, and don’t take everything she says out of anger to heart. Especially with how crazy her life is right now.” 

He doesn’t say anything else right away; thinking about what Laswell had just said to him. As always she’s right; Amelia is most likely going to be angry. He knows if he was in her position he would be. “Thank you Laswell.” 

“No problem John.” She then turns around and walks out of the office.

Once alone he takes out the photo he had taken from the first folder Laswell had given him; the one that showed all three of you smiling together. Price thinks about how once he gets Andrew back he'll make sure all of you can be together like that again. 

-

It was noon right on the dot when Price stepped inside your house once more. The first thing he noticed was how delicious it smelt inside. It really made him think for a moment about how long it’s been since he’s had a meal that wasn’t from the base cafeteria. 

You both exchange slightly awkward greetings with one another before you lead him into the dinning room where Amelia is already sitting at the table; a notepad sits in front of her. Price stops in the arch way as he watches you walk over to her, and give her shoulder a squeeze. 

“Lunch is almost ready; it’ll just be a few more minutes.” You move your head between Amelia and him, “While I’m finishing up you two can have a talk. Amelia, come get me if you need to.” You say before nervously exiting the room.

With you gone now it just leaves Price and Amelia alone to have what he can already tell is going to be a hard conversation. He makes his way further into the room and sits across from her with a hand extended, “Hello, Amelia. I’m John; John Price.” 

He watches as his daughter takes a calming breath as she extends her hand to shake his as well, “Hello, … John.” 

She sounds unsure saying his name which he can understand. Price didn’t come in here expecting her to call him any sort of partial name; that is something he hopes later on she’ll be comfortable giving him. That time is not now though, now is the time to build trust. 

“I heard you had some questions for me, and I promise to do my best to answer them for you,” He slightly motions towards the notepad. 

At the mention of questions Amelia seems to immediately perk up; even flipping her notepad open to reveal several lines of text. Price unfortunately couldn’t read it from this distance. It seems all nervousness from her has been thrown out the window though. 

The first few questions were basic get to know you questions. Things like age, birthday, and where did he grow up. Price noted how this felt more like an interrogation rather than a talk which actually eased his nerves a bit; she strangely reminded him of Laswell at this moment. 

Those kind of questions could only last for so long though before you started asking about things currently going on. “Have there been any updates about Andrew?” 

“We’re hoping to retrieve him any day now.” Price hesitantly answers; unsure of how much he should really be discussing with her. “You’ll get your brother back soon.” 

“And afterwards?”

“Hmm?”

"So like … what's going to happen afterwards then? You keep saying you're going to get Andrew back, but what about after that?" Amelia questions him, "Are you just going to save the day and all these years without you don't matter anymore because of that, or are things going to go back to when we never knew you?"

“Amelia!” Your voice rings out from the other side of the room. 

Price doesn’t know how, but you had managed to come into the room with him noticing. He puts a calming hand up to you, and softly says your name before continuing, “No, it’s ok it’s a valid question to ask,and the answer truthfully is that I don’t know what is going to happen afterwards. That is something your mum and I have yet to discuss.”

"What do you want to happen?" You are now sitting next to Amelia with a comforting hand on hers.

"I- I don't know." She says as her head hangs low and picks at her nails.

"That's ok; You don't have to know." You stand up and gently help Amelia out of her chair, "Why don't you come and help me bring out the dishes?" 

Price watches as you both leave; knowing that you wanted to have a private conversation without him present. It only takes a few minutes for you both to return, Amelia mood seems to have risen based on the easy smile on her face. 

The conversation that follows is stilled in the beginning, but quickly becomes livelier as Amelia talks about her friends and upcoming school year. Everything for just a moment feels calm, but of course nothing can last forever. 

A loud rapid knocking sound rings through the house; stopping any conversations in an instant. Price is the first one to stand and walk towards the door. He knows that whoever is on the other side is most likely looking for him anyway. 

“Captain.” Gaz stands before him, a serious look on his face. “Laswell needs us in the debriefing room. It’s time to get your boy.” 

Taglist: @zarsghost @lulurubberduckie @mafer383 @7thsthings @sazifer

[anjaelle]

Hii I’m in loveeee with your writing I was wondering if you could write a Dave Lizewski x bimbo reader fic?

Oooh this sounds fun. I had to ruminate on this a bit, but I think I got it.

Pairing: College!Dave Lizewski x Bimbo!Reader

Rating: She's tame

Word Count: 1.3K

--

He was staring again. Every time you turned to look at him, he would quickly avert his eyes to the front of the room. In confusion, you turned to look behind you, only to see the blank wall of the classroom. You looked back at him and found him staring straight ahead like he'd been caught doing something bad.

You pulled your phone out of your bag and opened the front facing camera to check to see if you forgot to properly blend your makeup again. Or maybe you had crumbs on your face.

It didn't look like you had anything on your face. Though you did think you could use a re-up on gloss, and maybe a touch-up on your brows. You accidentally left your makeup bag in your dorm, and you kept losing all of your backup purse makeup, so all you had was a lip balm and school stuff. You supposed that you could use this as an excuse to do a quick drugstore run across the street to pick up another backup makeup kit. But you also felt like you'd be missing out on the sushi buffet in the dining hall if you got there too late. You hadn't had sushi in a long time, it would've been a shame to miss it. Then again you could always order it from that one spot you went to with that one guy. What was his name again? Something with a "F"--

"Hello?" The professor said, addressing you and pulling you out of your thoughts. You raised your brows in surprise, and smiled sweetly.

"Hi!"

Your professor tapped her chin with a beautifully manicured nail and looked you over with a funny look on her face. "Your presentation topic for next week?"

"Oh!" You said, looking down at your notes. "Well, I might talk a little about how hard influencing is and how it's actually harder than a 9-5 job. I'm still deciding. What do you think, professor?"

There were a few whispers in the class as she thought hard on the question. At least that's what you thought she was doing.

"Why don't you workshop that and get back to me tomorrow?" She finally said, turning away from you and moving onto another classmate.

You pouted at yet another presentation subject being shot down and made a note in the margins of your notebook to do just that. You hated going to her office hours, because you felt like you could never really do anything right.

When class let out, you pulled your phone out to text your friends about your change of plans tomorrow, when you felt a gentle touch on your elbow and turned to find Lizewski. Knowing that he was quiet and always a little bit stuttery, you smiled politely and gave him your full attention.

"Hi, how are you?"

"H-Hey," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets, "Uh...I saw that you've been having a bit of a hard time with our media class."

A few people passed by the two of you in the hallway and greeted you but shot a curious look his way.

"It's so bad isn't it?" You frowned, crossing your arms in front of your chest, "I'm literally so great at most Social Media outlets, I don't understand why this is so hard. I mean...it's all the same shit."

He nodded, wide eyed and eager as always, "You're so right."

"And I'm trying really hard, but I just can't get it."

"I can help!" He blurted out. "Only if you want. I mean, you probably don't need my help. But I'd be happy to, if you want."

"You'd help me?" You asked, genuinely touched. "I don't know if I can pay you much, but how much do you want?"

"You don't have to pay me, come on." He dropped his eyes to his sneakers and shifted his weight on his feet, "We've known each other since middle school."

This time your eyes widened in surprise, "We have?"

This time it was his turn to look at you in surprise and confusion, "You went to my Bar Mitzvah."

"I did?" Then you thought about it, "I only remember going to one, and it was this boy named David."

He let out a short laugh and nodded, "Yes, that was me."

"David?! But everyone calls you Lizewski! That's your last name?" He nodded again and you gasped. Your whole world turned upside down. Without thinking you pulled him into a tight hug, "It's so nice to see you again, David! I thought you moved away in high school!"

"No," he said against your shoulder, "I just grew my hair out. And got taller. And you can call me Dave, or David, or Lisewski. Whatever you want."

You pulled away from the hug with a huge grin, and you reached out to readjust his glasses which sat crookedly on his face. Then you looked him over, trying to see the skinny thirteen year old you remembered in the grown man in front of you. You could almost see it. If he cut his hair shorter, and lost about a foot of height, he'd totally look the same. You grasped his shoulders in appreciation.

"Well this is wonderful! I've never had a friend for longer than 3 years before!"

As you walked side by side across campus, you could feel people staring like you had three heads. After the fourth set of eyes on you, you nudged Dave with your elbow.

"Do I have something on my face?" You tilted your head from side to side so he could examine you properly, and he shook his head.

"No, why?"

"People keep staring at me." You frowned, "It's kind of weird."

Dave said nothing at first, but looked around to see the evidence of your suspicion and sighed. "I think it's because you're hanging out with me."

You snorted, "That can't be it. That's so silly."

He kicked a small rock down the footpath and hummed in disagreement, "Is it? I mean...you're you. I'm me. We don't really hang out. I think people are used to seeing you with guys from...Sigma Alpha Epsilon"

You still didn't get it, and you crinkled your nose in disgust at the mention of the name.

"I don't talk to them. They're losers," you shuddered again, "They all have a weird obsession with skulls too. Have you ever seen those skulls with the blue stripe down the middle? They all have them on their trucks. It's so weird."

You watched him raise a single brow as he kicked the rock further down the path, "Are you talking about The Punisher's symbol?"

Before you could ask, he showed you a picture on his phone and you nodded.

"Yeah that's it! What's The Punisher? Is that, like, a band?"

He chuckled, "It's a comic book character and his symbol gets misused a lot. He's a vigilante."

You frowned, thinking of why someone would choose to do something like that. That seemed kind of mean.

"Well can you really see me hanging out with a bunch of guys who like vigilantes?"

For some reason, Dave's step seemed to falter, and he peered at you curiously, "Oh. Are you--do you think vigilantes are bad?"

There was a hint of poorly disguised panic in his voice.

You were confused about why he was confused. The answer was obvious.

"Vigils are a good thing," you said, matter-of-factly. You were surprised that you had to break this down to someone as smart as him. "Sometimes people have vigils for their dead grandmas and their pets, and stuff. Someone who's anti-vigils is obviously not a good person."

Dave gave you a long, strange look and laughed. Like, actually laughed. You didn't understand what was so funny about being pro-vigils. You felt like that wasn't exactly a controversial opinion. Were you on the wrong side of history this whole time? Were vigils actually bad?

"Are they bad for the environment or something? Like, the candles?" You squinted at him. He rushed to ease your worries with an extended hand.

"No! No, it's--vigilantes aren't people who are anti-vigils. They beat up bad people."

Oh.

"What a weird name to have for that," You admitted rolling the word over in your brain. Then you brightened at the memory of something, "Hey there was a guy back home that was like that! Kick-Ass! Do you remember him?"

He said nothing for a moment, but shrugged in response.

"Yeah, kinda."

"All the girls in our grade were obsessed with him," you continued, fishing through your bag for your dorm key. "At first, we thought it was that one weird guy who used to try and sell us coke from the trunk of his car down the street from our school. But one girl said that he saved her dad from getting jumped, and he was apparently, like, young. At least college aged."

"Ha," Dave simply said, "Maybe. I kind of remember people thinking it was someone from our school, though. Someone most people wouldn't even really expect, because it'd be super hard to keep a low profile. Someone who's probably super strong and really cool, even though most people don't know it."

You suddenly giggled, "What if it was that guy Todd Haynes?"

Dave stumbled over his own feet and shot his hand out to steady himself.

"You know who Todd Haynes is?"

"Yeah, I know him. He was in my gym class!"

"He's my best friend, I've known him my whole life. I'm--shocked that you know him." You brightened at the new information.

"I didn't know Todd had friends! You sure are full of surprises today." He stared at you again. For a super long time. You weren't sure what was going on in his brain. You touched your cheek, "Again with the staring. I think you're lying. I definitely have something on my face."

[misguidedasgardian]

Wildcats (Part XXXI)

XXXI. Lonely day

MASTERLIST

Summary: The most loneliest day of my life (sarcastically)

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Zombie apocalypse AU, living dead, zombies, guts, blood, guns, minors with guns, cursing, a friends reference, might miss some important warnings, but you know what this is about

+18, MINORS DNI

Notes: I highly recommend you to hear this song (the title of the chapter) by System of a Down, it's very good. I really like it.

“You know? I used to defend myself pretty decently in the kitchen”, you began softly, “but in the old times I would… you know watch a video on my phone and go, uh I want to eat that, so I would go to the store and get the ingredients to make”, you told them with a soft smile, “but never like this you know, you are like a witch, make magic out of… just things”, you laughed, Carol giggled as she put ingredients in a bowl, many of which came from a can

“It’s not that difficult, come here”, you passed by her side of the kitchen after washing your hands, and she began teaching you little tips. This goes with this, if you want it with sugar you can eat this, this can replace butter, and so on.

Daryl just watched the two of you bond sitting on the kitchen bar with his head on his hands, he seemed hypnotized by the two of you, so he just looked at your interactions with a small smile on his lips 

He stayed until she served the three of you food, and you ate happily, it was one of the best things you had eaten, and you let her know that.

The environment near Carol, for the first time since you knew her, wasn’t heavy or tense, for the first time she was being honest with you, her true self, as the three of you ate. You still could feel the darkness looming, of the impending conflict, of the coming war. But tonight, you decided to put all of that aside.

As soon as you were done with dinner, you cleaned up, and, to your surprise, Rosita came to the house looking for you

“Hey, what’s wrong?”, you asked her softly, her eyes were a bit bloodshot, like she had been crying

“Can you cover my guard shift tonight?”, she asked you, and if she was coming to you, you knew she didn't have another choice, so you nodded

“Of course”, you assured her

“Its from eight to 4”, she warned, but you nodded

“It’s everything alright?”, you asked her, she just shook her head.

“Abraham left me”, she whispered, “I thinks there’s someone else”, you opened your mouth

“What? really?”, you asked her. From all the couples of Alexandria, Abraham and Rosita would be the last ones you expected to split up, “I’m so sorry”, you whispered

“I’m just… too distracted you know? I don’t think I would be able to guard properly”

“Say less”, you assured her, she only nodded, and left. You weren’t concerned, she was a woman of a few words that preferred to lick her wounds alone, yet… This proved to you she knew she could count on you, so if she needed you, she was going to come to you.

“I’m on guard duty”, you told Daryl, as he was talking to Carol in whispers, both seemed like they were onto something very interesting, stopped speaking just as you entered back to the house

“Alright”, Daryl said simply, “ya sure?”, you barely nodded, so he didn't fight it. Rick came next to the house and Daryl took the opportunity to leave quietly, thinking you wouldn’t notice, you didn’t know what that was about.

“Tomorrow we are going to the Hilltop”, he said, you frowned

“Why?”, you asked

“To gather support to fight the saviors”, he said, he expected you were going to be against it, like he prepared for you for it. “I know you are not into the idea”

“Of my family starting a war?”, you asked him, “not really”

“We will win this”, he said, convinced

“But at what cost?”, you asked

“We will get Hilltop’s help, Jesus said they were trading with more groups… this could be the start of something, if we all fight the saviors they’ll have no choice but to release them”

“Promise you are only going to talk to the Hilltop”, you begged him, you didn’t even know what Hilltop was about. 

“Yes”, he said quickly, “I need you to stay here”. you would ask why, but you guessed is because of your negative for the whole operation in the first place, “Need you to keep the place in one piece, besides, Deanna is not into this either”

“Fine”, you said, “but I want to go eventually”, you said with a soft smile

“Of course you will”, he said, “Carl is staying, the new guys too”

“Fine”, you echoed. He left you. Of all the things you had disagreed on with Rick, this was definitely the worst one, the strongest you felt. Besides you couldn’t get distracted with a war, you needed to deal with the walkers on the quarry and to make Alexandria stronger and more united.

You went directly to the armory, you grabbed an assault rifle with a scope and a silencer, and you went to the gates, you stopped on your tracks when you saw Abraham and Sasha talking and laughing, with a very -strange- closeness between them. 

No… What?

You relieved them, and she nodded in your direction with a smile, you nodded back, but Abraham just didn’t even look at you, he was too smitten with Sasha to notice. 

You didn’t want to take sides, Abraham was… a great figure in your life and in your group, but Rosita was your friend and… you really needed to get more info on the matter. 

You shook your head and you climbed onto the platform near the gates. 

Something you had learned in your months alone… At night, you remembered how scared you were, those first nights, in complete darkness, not knowing what loomed there, until, one night, when you found a bottle of moonshine, you decided, very drunk, that you could “connect” with the night, with the darkness, that it was a state of mind, and after many nights -sober-, you determined you were right.

It took a couple of minutes, it required you to close your eyes to tune your ears, then open them to adjust them to the low light.

It’s a state of mind, it’s a state of mind

You chuckled when you remembered a funny chapter of one of your favorite TV shows, anyways… Unagi: A state of total awareness 

Anyways, of course you looked outside the walls, but you looked inside as well, from this perspective you could see the main street of Alexandria and many of their houses

From here, a silent post beside the wall, you could see many things.

You saw Rick coming out of Jesse’s house, what was up with that?

You saw the couple that just left take a turn and not go for Abraham’s house, the house he shared with Rosita, you saw them going into the group’s second house. You saw Denise with Tara walking hand in hand… and then you saw Daryl, coming out of Aaron’s garage, his usual workshop, with Carol and they seemed to be talking about something, they both seemed excited, which was very odd. They didn’t even catch you watching, so you just turned back to the complete darkness. 

It was such a contrast 

Out there? the wild, sick world that wanted to rip you apart and eat you, and in here… behind the safety of walls, stood you, protected from the outside world. Life & Death, Danger & Safety.

Bananas.

Some voices took you out of your determined stance, again, from here, you could see everybody, but nobody could see you. You look back towards the street, but the voices were ricocheting, it finally led you to the source, against the side of Deanna’s house, against the wall. From here, and with the help of the lights from the houses still on, you could see the distinctive figures of Smith, and Spencer, they were talking in angry whispers.

And then they both started walking towards you

You were a curious person, you wanted to know what they were talking about… but.. also if they say something you shouldn’t hear… But you couldn’t hear shit, Ross would be so disappointed. 

You just stood there, guarding, they are the ones that should be careful, right? But you really started to wonder what they had to talk about in such… 

“Good night darlin”, Smith seemed to interrupt Spencer in the middle of his sentence, clearly meant for him to shut the hell up now that he noticed that you were within ear range

“Good morning gentlemen”, you said with an even voice

“I thought Rosita was going to be up there tonight”, muttered Spencer

“She asked me to cover for her”, you answered firmly 

“You heard her, my turn to guard”, Smith muttered, climbing the platform you were on.

“It’s Spencer’s turn”, you clarified

“Well, I’m covering for him”, he said simply, and you didn’t want to be difficult, so you just nodded, trying to ignore his imponent figure by your side. You looked at Spencer walking away from the both of you, he seemed disappointed. “So? how are you feeling tonight darlin?”, he asked, there's something about him that made you terribly nervous

“I’m better”, you said, more firmly, trying to put as much distance between you as you possibly could, in that small platform it was a bit difficult, but you liked the space

“You ran off today”, he said, “I can tell this is hard for you”, he was being condescending, but you really didn’t want to react poorly

“It is”, you whispered, “I don’t want anybody to die”, you whispered, “we have been through so much, we finally have this thing going on for us and… I just want to enjoy it, but we can’t seem to catch a break”, you whispered. “With an army of walkers looming over us, and then the Saviors”

“They seem like nasty sons of bitches”, he said

“I just don’t get it”, you answered, “I’ve come across groups that…”, you interrupted yourself, “nasty ones, truly nasty ones, that I still have nightmares about… I just don’t understand, we should all be fighting the dead together, not amongst ourselves”, yous aid, exasperated, “we have all lived through unimaginable pain, none one of us has gone through this unharmed… we should be focusing all of our efforts into ending the hordes of dead ones, and try to make things right again, instead, we are fighting and killing each other” 

“So what do you think we should do with the Saviors?”, he asked

“Cut the best deal possible, now… before there’s dead ones on both sides… before it's too late, maybe we made it out the lot of us”, you said simply, “but Rick is right, they will not treat us fairly, I have seen it, these bastards are bullies, feeding on the terror they can impose on their victims, they will tease, and take, and bully, and press, and threaten, try and make us bend, and bend, and bend… but the thing is… we will break first”, you muttered, “we will snap”

“So that’s it uh?”, he asked, more outloud than expecting an answer

“I get what this Negan guy is trying to accomplish, I think, but that isn’t the way, you can’t put the worst people to deal with the decent people still in this world… that’s how it works, bigger empires had fallen for less”, you whispered, “anyways... The idea of having two people on watch is that they guard different points”, you said giving him a side eye

“Yeah sure but this is way more entertaining”, he said simply. You only chuckled

“Where you out there much?”, you asked him then, curious 

“Not really”, he said, “I was never alone, first I was with my wife, then with Laura and her father… then more people joined us… then… Well, some left, some died… other came and went, we were the last ones standing”

“I’m sorry”, you whispered

“How about you?”, he asked

“When this shitshow started I was in Atlanta, met some people there, we put on a team to try and wipe out the dead”, you muttered, “then I left said team after a couple died, I was alone out there, scavenging, never staying in one place… until Carl found me sleeping on a roof”, you whispered, “then I met the group, and we traveled together here, found it on our way to DC”

“Damn, you were out there alone?”, he asked

“Yeah”, you whispered, “For a while”

“How did you manage?”, he asked

“I’m not gonna lie there were some days in which I just… didn’t seem to see where the ship was going, know what I mean? so I just… discovered that primal part of me that many others have too… the survival part”, you rambled, looking into the void of darkness beyond the wall, “I have done things, thought things that a couple of years ago would have frightened me, but now, I just… I internalized it, created this thing, between the survivor and the old me, and she is… kinda unhinged”, you said, chuckling, he chuckled too, “I’m gonna take a lap”, you muttered

The hours passed slowly, by the time it was done, it was 4am and everything was dead, dark, not lights in the houses.

Smith found you in the other post and walked you back home

“So you are saying, you could work with the saviors”, he said

“I don’t think we have a choice, but I will do as Rick and the rest want”, you said

“What about Deanna?”, he asked then, and then you remembered his heated conversation with Spencer

“She is great, and a good leader, but my loyalty goes to Rick first”, you warned, he smiled, and nodded

“Good to know”, he said.

“Hey”, to your surprise, Daryl came out of the house

“You waited for me?”, you asked sweetly, but Daryl was too occupied throwing daggers at Smith to care for your words, as he reached where you were standing on the porch and placed a hand on your hip, possessively., “thank you”

“F’course”, he said, but he was still looking at this guy. “Let’s go”, he said, you waved weirdly at Smith who was just looking at the scene, entertained and walked away once you were back inside the house

“What were you doing with that guy!?”, he asked angrily, as soon as you were alone, making you flinch

“We were on guard duty, the both of us”, you answered back with a frown

“It's like everytime I turn you are with him!”, he said, and you didn’t understand why this guy make Daryl tick so much

“it was an unfortunate set of accidents”, you said calmly, “nothing else”, he promised, caressing his arms

“Don’t like him”, he said

“I know”, you answered back, “I will try to stay away from him, alright?”, you asked, with a smile creeping onto your face, you kinda found this jealous Daryl… interesting.

“What are you smiling for?”, he asked

“Never seen you this jealous before”, you teased, he smirked

“Yer mine, I told ya”

“Yeah, and you are mine”, you said, with your hand on his hips, “in that same square, what were you up to before, in Aaron’s garage?”, you asked him, he chuckled, but he averted your gaze

“Nothin”

“Are you going to try to put another bike together?”

“Yeah”, he said with a soft smile

“Well… if you are a biker you know what that makes me?”, you asked him with a cheeky smile

“Mmm my ol’ lady”, he said, you laughed

“Indeed”, you brought him to you and kissed him softly, “let’s go to bed”

“We aint’ gonna’ be sleepin’ much”, he warned

“Yeah I know”

“Tomorrow I got that trip to the Hilltop”, he said, his blue eyes analyzing your face

“Don’t go”, you begged him, his face quickly twisted into a frown

“What?”, he asked 

“Don’t go”, you insisted, “stay home, with me”

“I have ta’ go”, he said, “we are getting people to fight the saviors!”

“We shouldn’t”, you said quickly, “we shouldn’t fight them”

“They kidnapped and tortured you!”, he said angrily

“Yeah, and the claimers threatened to rape and kill us, after beating us up, and the terminus people locked us up and tried to eat us, and the wolves tried to hack us up while I wasn’t here, but here we are!”, you said

“Yeah because they're dead!”, he said quickly, “they are all dead!”

“I’m trying to get what happened to me behind this”, you said, he stopped in his tracks, “I’m not going to let what happened define me!”, you said angrily, “I’m not going to let those bastards ruin my life!”, you said, “but maybe it's too late, if you keep going down this path, it will be ruined!”, you said. He shook his head

“How ya’ think I feel?!”, he asked angrily, making you jump in your place, “M’yer man, of all the men here ya chose me to protect ya, ya gave yourself to me and I failed!”

“I’m with you because I love you for who you are, I did not “gave myself” to you because I wanted you to protect me!”, he stood there, quietly, “you are not at fault for this!”, you said back

“We need to make it right!”, he said back. 

“If you want to make it right just… don’t let it happen to anyone else!”, you said, “we can’t get anybody killed, especially not one of us!”, you said quickly, “do not go to war with that jackass, we will lose, we will, many will die, and that will not be in our hands, alright?”, he shook his head

“It’s happenin”, he said, “wer goin”, you just nodded. And he walked away from you

“Where are you going?”, you asked him

“My room”, he said, he wasn’t angry, but he did seem disappointed. You pouted, you literally pouted, he didn’t tell you to go with you. You just shook your head to keep your tears at bay and you went up the stairs, to your room.

One step forwards, and two back…

You slept alone for the first time since you were back, and it felt crappy, and you promised yourself that whatever it was, tomorrow you were gonna fix it before he leaves. You were so tired you fell asleep immediately.

The very next day, you helped them get everything they needed.

You looked like a little kid, whose parents were going out and were going to be left at home with their least favorite aunt or uncle.

“When we come back, we’ll deal with the walkers in the quarry, we will need the training”, Rick promised, just like a parent would give a poor consolation prize to the kid left behind.

You barely nodded.

You watched Daryl move things into the RV, head hanging low, so you approached him with a smile

“Be safe”, you said, he looked at you surprised, as he didn’t expect it, like he expected you to be mad at him

“Yeah”, he assured you, you hugged him tightly, kissing him softly on the lips, everyone was there, you didn’t care, he was smiling when you split

“Come back to me?”, you asked him

“Always”, he answered back

“M’sorry fer last night”, he whispered

“You don’t have to be, people disagree on things, that’s what happens”, you said gently, “I did not like sleeping alone tough”

“Yeah, me neither”, he whispered

“Have you heard the saying, if you can’t fight them join them?”, you asked him, “I will join you in whatever you all want to do if I can’t convince you otherwise”, you whispered, he nodded, “there’s strength in numbers”

“love you”, he whispered

“love you too”, you answered back

“You both are going to give me diabetes because of all that sweetness”, Carol mocked as she walked by, ready to go.

Going out there was a risk, with the saviors going around, so they were taking most of the team, and where heavily armed, just in case

Maggie, Glenn, Beth, Abraham, Sasha, Eugene, Carol, Michonne, Aaron, Daryl, Morgan and Rick.

Leaving you with Rosita, Tyresse, Gabriel, surprisingly Alexander, and of course the kids and the Alexandrians 

You wanted to go to the Hilltop, but this wasn’t the day, and you were not gonna fight it, you only regret you didn’t have that jealousy-motivated sex, Daryl was looking all riled up and… you were getting horny again

“I know that look”, whispered Daryl in your ear, you giggled

“You get me all riled up and then you bolt, that is not nice Dixon”, you warned, he chuckled

“I have something nice for ya, fer when I get back”, he whispered, that truly peaked your interest, you looked quickly at both sides, and when you made sure nobody was watching you, you hooked your finger in the hem of his pants

“It better be something I haven’t seen before”, you teased, he got so red he hid under his hair

“It ain’t”, he said, after shooking his hair off of his face and looking at you with a sheepish smile. You smiled widely

“You know how curious I am, and you saying this just before taking off is kinda mean”, you laughed, “but… I’ll make sure to have something nice for you too then”, you said with a smile

“Yeah, and I don’ mind if I had seen it ’fore”, he teased back, hooking his finger to the belt loop of your jeans. You giggled

“Come back soon then”, you said confidently, “my ol’ man” 

“We will, my ol’ lady”, he whispered back, leaning in and kissing your lips.

You made sure to hug each and every one of your people that were going on that mission, as you liked to do, and you even waved goodbye when you saw the three cars leaving through the gates.

You helped Rosita close them.

“Wanna tell me what happened?”, you asked her. She looked back at you with a sad smile

“I’m gonna be needing a drink for that”, she said, you nodded, “I know where Spencer keeps his good stuff”

“Good thing he is guard duty tonight”, you said and she smiled

“What are you ladies planning?”, asked Alex, walking towards you

“Is a weird thing you didn’t go”, you said, changing the subject, he shrugged

“I’m conflicted with the chain of command”, he said, “I want to follow Deanna’s lead, and she doesn’t approve of this, and maybe because of that it was Rick to ask me to stay, so we don’t leave the place without that much firepower”, he said simply

“Well, good one, we should get together for a little dinner at night”, you said with a soft smile

“Yes, but… we have a busy day ahead of us”, he said, “training the people for once”

“I’ll go with you”, you answered back, “I need it too”

You weren’t here, when a band of fuckers that called themselves the wolves jumped the walls and started butchering everyone

They didn’t get far, luckily most of the people where here, but there had been several casualties, and now the Alexandrians were more motivated to take their classes in defense, they had seen first hand the cruelty of the new world.

It had been a bloodbath, it got bad

10 people died, Alexandrians, old people, defenseless people, many of Carol’s fake friends

But the wolves had died, all of them, something ensued with Morgan… it got ugly. You didn't like him, you avoided him. He was a bit… unhinged 

You were kind of glad you weren’t here for that. 

It was a productive day, it felt like it. You participated in the class with Rosita and Alex, you made lunch for the people still here, and then you helped Tobin in the guard posts. He insisted one day you could have a whole walkway between the posts, and more of them too. All around the wall, it was a nice dream

Alex told you he was gonna fill a well to help with a water system for the plants, but he told you and only you he was going to hide the guns away from the community before you could use the tanker, so you went with him, so you could watch nobody was following you. 

You hid the guns in a container Alex and Abraham buried with Alexandria’s machinery they were using for the walls, it was a nice place near the construction place.

You took another Pentagon gun, you believed it was the coolest thing ever, to have a once government issued gun? super cool. You were gonna need another silencer, lucky for you, it wasn’t common for them to use them in their guns, so there was always one around.

You also took a couple of walkers on the way

And you came back before the sun sets

You were concerned for your friends. You had this weird feeling in your stomach, that something was terribly wrong, and yet, you couldn’t quite pinpoint it.

What if they got attacked on the road? What if the saviors get to them?

You wanted to believe they would give them a chance, if their plan was mainly to subdue communities to get their shit, you guessed they needed them alive for that… and also… they were badasses… you were gonna pity the saviors they encountered. 

When you were back in the streets of Alexandria, you were walking abc home after refilling the well when you encountered Laura

“Hey, wanna grab something to eat at my place?”, you asked her, she smiled at you

“Sure”, she said with a smile

And you gathered with Carl, Alex, Rosita, Gabriel, Tyresse, the guy Gary, even Spencer, Smith, you all joined. You laughed with them, told stories, you talked, and you were happy, they were finally joining in. 

You wanted to include them, like Rick and their people included you.

But you’d come to find out… soon… that Daryl’s words, the ones that he told you last in that barn before you got to Alexandria… prove them right.

In the longest debate on who to trust and who don’t, which people are good and which ones aren’t, on those who are deserving to be welcomed in Alexandria and in the inner circle and those who weren’t… this was going to be a hard lesson to learn.

You managed to get rid of all the rest and stayed home with Rosita and Alex

“That pelirrojo hijo de puta left me for someone else”, she said, sipping on the scotch. You looked at her and wondered: how the fuck did Abraham could possibly pull someone better than Rosita?, and Alex seemed ready to poach her too. That sneaky motherfucker

“I’m sorry Rosita”, you whispered, “never saw it coming”, you said 

“You know what he said? that he thought I was the last woman on the planet, so that’s why he got with me, and now he realizes that I’m not”

That seemed to be unnecessarily cruel.

“But I don’t want to ruin the night, el puede irse a la mierda, so… how are you and Dixon doing?”, she asked you

“We had a little fight last night… but we made up this morning”, you said simply, “I’m just worried about the savior’s shit, 

“Oh yeah, you made up… miss that honeymoon face”, she mocked. 

“Well lucky you ladies, i haven’t been with anyone since before the collapse”

“WHAT?!”, you both asked at the same time

“Not many choices”, he said as a justification, “I was in killer mode”

“Ah c’mon, there’s plenty of nice women right here”, you said back 

“Este está como un avión de combate”, muttered Rosita. Alex laughed. “You speak spanish?”, she asked, surprised and amused 

“Sí señorita”, he said, and now, as they exchanged heated glances, you felt like you were third wheeling but BADLY

“Oh my, should I get out of the line of fire?”, you mocked

 “Oh c'mon this is just getting started, we have Smith and Spencer covering our asses tonight”

“Yeah and I slept like 4 hours and I’m on Judith duty tomorrow morning”, you said 

“Well, tonight she is with Olivia”, said Rosita.

“Still… I…”, you were destroyed, feeling like you could sleep for days.

“Fine we are going home”, she said, winking, as they both said their goodbyes and left you home. Haunting thought, but if something you knew about relationships in the apocalypse is that each new day you were alive, it was some sort of gift, and there was no time to waste, so… if you wanted something you better get it.

All the couples were getting together rather quickly, again, no time to waste

So you went up to your room, Carl was sleeping, Judith was with Olivia, and the rest of the house was empty.

You fell asleep quickly

But the thing is… when you knew everything, meaning, the safety of those around you, depended on you… your senses heightened, it happened when you had your nieces and nephews with you in the past, and it happened now, it was funny, when you were with Daryl you could sleep through the third world war, but now? you jumped out of your bed when you heard the gates (that were like three blocks away), being opened. And then the sounds of engines. 

Were they back at this hour?

You got out of bed and walked to the other side of the house, and looked through the window

You felt your heart in your fucking throat when you saw a strange trucks coming in, and other vehicles behind it.

What the fuck?

You ran back to your room, your jeans on and boots, got your gun and ax with you, and went to get Carl

“Something is going on!”, you alerted him, and he jumped right with you, he looked at his windows and came back to you, he grabbed his gun from under his bed and was ready in a second

“Go to Olivia’s, wake her up, take care of Judith, shoot anybody that crosses the threshold”, you commanded, and you went down the stairs with him.

You needed to get back to Rosita and Alex, you needed to alert.

“WAKEY WAKEY EGGS AND BAKEY”, someone shouted, it sounded like it was out of a speaker. “PEOPLE OF ALEXANDRIA, WOULD YOU BE A DEAR A JOIN US HERE ON THE STREET?”, that voice sounded hauntingly familiar

You got out of the house by the back door and you escorted Carl until he was inside Olivia’s, and then you managed to turn towards the main street

Trucks with their high lights on were illuminating the main street like a macabre show. There were at least a dozen silhouettes standing there in front of the vehicles, you couldn’t tell who they belonged to.

“WE AIN’T GOT ALL NIGHT PEOPLE!”, you could see people exiting their houses, an

The you saw even more people coming towards the houses, a couple to where you were standing, hiding behind the side of a house

“SAVIORS, GET IN THERE, BRING ME EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THIS LAZY PEOPLE!”, fuck, the saviors where inside the walls, they just went in like they belonged here, but… Spencer was on guard! Spencer and Smith and…

“Spencer? why don’t you give a few words to these kind people? tell them we have nothing to fear”, the voice said simply

“If you come out now, nobody is going to get hurt!”, he said shakily, that traitor. You went inside Rosita’s house.

“It’s me!”, you said quickly, at this point, nobody was asleep

“UP HERE!”, she said. 

“They’re coming”, you said, climbing the stairs 

“Ese hijo de puta!”, she cursed, and when you got to them, in the second floor, you gasped

“Is that… Smith?”, you asked, as the angle finally let you see who was there, front and center

He whistled, a whistled that made your blood ran cold, he was holding a barbed wire bat, and dressed in a leather jacket, but it was him alright

“I HOPE YOU HAVE YOUR PISSING PANTS ON!”, He said loudly, “you are gonna needed them, NEGANS HOME!” 

taglist 🤍 @crazyunsexycool @capricxnt

[cb-writes-stuff]

Too Many Hats

Loop 2

You wake up in a field. You stare up at the sky, the darkless clouds drifting lazily through the air. The breeze ruffles your cloak a little. Somewhere nearby, there’s some birds singing.

So the looping thing isn’t a one-time deal… That’s good to know. Loop said as much, but you’re still not sure how much you trust them.

With an annoyed sigh, you pick yourself up and head into the village. It wasn’t bad for your inaugural loop. You got past the Death Corridor this time, and made it through the whole first floor. Unfortunately, you weren’t prepared for that Sadness with the big ball head. Not that it matters, much. Now you know for next time.

Mirabelle comes up to you as you’re crossing the bridge into the village proper. You’re prepared, this time. “Siffrin!” she says. “You’re up!”

Just be casual. “Hey Mira.”

“Hey, Siffrin!” She giggles a little. “So how was your nap? On a scale of one to ten!”

Don’t screw it up this time. “It was alright.”

“I’m glad!” she tells you, clasping her hands. “I know how much you value your naps.” Suddenly, her face scrunches. “Oh, wait! I had something I wanted to ask you!!!” As she talks about her sleepover idea, you realize you’ve heard this before. You don’t guess there’s much reason to listen to it again… She’s done. “It would be nice, wouldn’t it?”

Yeah, you know what to say. Make her happy. “That sounds like an AMAZING idea, Mira!” you say with your most enthusiastic voice.

Her face lights up as you say it. “Yeah? Oh, I’m so glad you think so! I was thinking it was a little silly, but if you think it could be fun, then great!!!” You nod with her. That’s encouraging, right? “Ah, I can’t wait…” she continues. “This will be delightful! I’m smiling just thinking about it…”

Stars, her excitement is literally infectious. Seeing her so happy makes you happy too. You can’t help but smile back.

The conversation goes on just like it did the last two times. You thought it’d get boring, saying the same things over and over again, but it’s not so bad. It’s comfortable, even. You wave at Mirabelle as she walks away.

Right. Next thing to do is head to the shop and talk to Odile. She seemed suspicious last time… You wanna make sure you’re not that obvious.

Just like before, Odile is in the back of the shop, picking out various supplies. Unsurprisingly. You head over to her. “Odile!”

She glances at you. “Oh, Siffrin,” she says, turning to face you properly. “You look rested. Glad to see you this laidback on the day before the end of the world.” So that’s still normal. Good. She goes on, “Anyway. How can I help you?”

Might as well come right out and ask. “So, um. Anything weird happen lately?”

“Weird…?” she asks. “Like what? I didn’t see anything weird. Did you see anything weird?” Her eyes are drilling holes into you! You forgot about that!!!

Quick, say something normal! “Nope! Not at all, not a single weirdo in sight.”

Nice.

Odile stares at you. You can’t tell if that face is suspicious or confused. There’s a long silence between the two of you before she finally says, “Okay.” She turns back to the shelves, sifting through them. “I’ll keep an eye out,” she tells you. “I do hope you’ll also let me know if you see ‘something weird’.”

You don’t say anything.

You screwed it up again. Stars, when will you get it right?

…You’re glad she’s not looking at you right now.

“Anything else?” she asks. You quickly tell her no. “Okay. I’ll see you at the clocktower later then.”

Okay. Good. Odile talked to. Now you can leave. Which you do very quickly. And head for Bonnie as quickly as possible.

★〜★〜★

Odile watched Siffrin leave from the corner of her eye. They were acting strange. Not strange enough for her to care, though. And besides, knowing the world was ending tomorrow could make anyone act strange.

She hears the door open and close again, and someone’s footsteps approaching. “Hey, um, Odile.”

“What is it, Siffrin?” She turns, looking down at him. He seems bothered.

Their face quickly changed, now looking a little hurt. “Did I do something wrong?” they ask.

She raises an eyebrow. “No? What would make you think…” Hmm. She hadn’t used the kindest tone. She shakes her head. “No, you’re fine. Is there something I can help you with?”

Siffrin shuffles in place, and the shifting lumps in his cloak tell her he’s fidgeting. “Have you… seen anything weird, lately?”

“Not since the last time you asked me, no…” She fixes her gaze on him. Something isn’t right. “Have you?”

They jump, plainly startled. “Nope! Not at all!” they say, very unconvincingly. Except… they acted as if they hadn’t done the same exact thing just a few minutes ago.

She spends a long time just looking at him, trying to find some hint of… something. Because something was definitely off. “Siffrin… are you alright?” She normally wouldn’t be bothered to ask, but this was just too much. “I know you’re forgetful, but you’re not this forgetful.”

They were actually sweating. She’d never seen Siffrin sweat before. “Yeah! I’m fine! Super fine!” They give her two thumbs up, to show just how fine they are. “Fine and dandy! But…” They try to retreat into their cloak like a turtle. Good. Normal Siffrin behavior. “Why do you ask?”

Odile looks him over, scanning from hat to heels. He doesn’t seem to be faking it, and even if he is, it’s an odd thing to fake. She crosses her arms. “I don’t know. Something doesn’t feel right. Do you really not remember talking to me already?”

Siffrin just stares for a moment. Then their face pales. Odile hadn’t thought it possible for them to be any paler. “W-wuh… When?” they stutter.

Okay. So he had forgotten. Concerning, but not highly unusual. Along their journey, the group often had to remind him of things he forgot. “Just a few moments ago,” she tells him patiently. “You asked me the same question you did just now. Is something on your mind, Siffrin?” There must be, if he remembered to ask but not the actual asking.

They shake their head. “No, not really,” they say a little too quickly. “Um. I’m gonna go now.”

“Okay…” Odile tries one more time to find any clue as to what’s wrong. “See you tonight then…” He only nodded before fleeing the shop.

Strange. Very strange. She’ll have to keep an eye on them, she decided.

★〜★〜★

Well. This has been a very weird day so far.

You died. Flattened into a pancake by a surprise rock. Then you woke up, yesterday. Somehow. And no one but you remembers what happened. It seemed like Odile did for a second when you were talking to her, but that weird Loop person said she doesn’t.

Doesn’t matter though. What matters is that you’re here. You’re alive. And you can change things. And you’re never at risk of dying, so that’s pretty cool. And—

You’re just passing the sign that says “Favor Tree” when you see it. There’s someone at the Change God statue, wearing a darkless cloak and a big floppy hat, just like yours. They swing their dagger—curved, like yours—a few times, and fumble it. They quickly pick it back up and look around, hoping no one saw.

Their eyes lock with yours. Slowly, very slowly, they approach. And they just… stand there. Looking at you.

You take a few steps closer, circling your way in. They do the same.

They have an eyepatch over their left eye, and mostly darkless hair to their shoulders. It’s dyed lightless in the back. This feels like looking in a mirror. Except there’s obviously no mirror here. Maybe it’s invisible? You’ve heard that birds can’t see glass. Maybe this is like that. Maybe you’re a bird.

You look up and see them make the same confused face as you.

You’ve switched sides with them now, you with your back to the Change God statues and them with their back to the path to the Favor Tree. Very cautiously, you reach out a hand, a finger, as they copy you exactly. You inch closer and closer, until finally… you touch.

Nothing happens.

“Um,” they say, staring at the point where your fingers meet. “I kinda thought the universe would explode, or something.” Their voice sounds just like yours.

“Yeah,” you reply, your mind racing and giving you nothing to work with. “Me too.” You look up, and meet your own gaze.

Your other hand twitches. So does theirs. You both want to reach for your knives. But what’s the point? Aren’t you evenly matched? Won’t you just tire each other out, or worse… kill each other.

They grimace. “I… don’t really feel like killing myself,” they say.

You shake your head. “Me neither.”

They look around, then wave for you to follow. “Probably don’t want anyone seeing us.”

You nod, and follow them towards the Favor Tree. But instead of turning, they lead you through the trees, and into a tiny clearing. You could cross it in a few steps. It’s hardly a clearing. But, looking around, you can’t see through the trees.

They whip around, knife drawn. “Who are you?” they ask. Calling them “angry” was an understatement. “Why are you… me!?”

One hand, you fling up defensively. The other flashes for your knife and rests there. You can’t take any risks right now.

Okay. So, on top of all the other weirdness, you’re now being held at knifepoint by another you. What do people usually do here?

Oh, yeah. Try to smooth things over. “I’m Siffrin,” you say. Okay. Good. What next. “And you are?” Good. Very good. You’re surprisingly calm, given the circumstances.

“…I’m Siffrin.” He sounds calmer, but he doesn’t put the knife away. “How… How did you get here?”

Um? “I’ve been travelling with my allies, gathering the—”

“The five orbs, I know. I mean, why is there another me?”

You don’t know that one, so you shrug. “I’m as confused as you are.” Are you in shock? You’re probably in shock. That would make sense. Normally, people aren’t so calm when their other self is threatening to kill them. Oh, you should probably explain all that, in case the other you doesn’t know. “We went into the House, and there was a Death Corridor, and then I couldn’t find any switches or wires or traps or anything, then a rock fell on me.” Oh stars, you’re rambling.” And I died. Then I woke up back in Dormont, and I met this weird star person, and—”

“Wait.” Thank the stars, they interrupted you. “You’ve only looped once?”

You nod. “Why…?”

They hesitate. “I’ve looped twice.”

Oh. Well that changes things. “So you’re me from the future?” He nods. “Huh. What happened?”

“Big ball head killed us.”

You have no idea what that means. “Cool.”

They put their knife away. “We should probably head to the clocktower.”

You nod. Together, side by side, you head east. It’s more than awkward.

You don’t want to say anything. You know he’s thinking the same thing. You probably don’t have to say anything at all. They look at you, their face… concerned, you think.

Yep. You’re definitely thinking the same thing.

How are you gonna explain the fact that there’s two of you?

[dira333]

Imaginary Friend - Kageyama x reader

just a little something my mind was not leaving me alone with

tagging @revasserium for the Kageyama feels

You saw your husband today.

Well, technically he’s not your husband yet, you don’t even know his name, but you’ve locked eyes with him when the doors of his train closed, and saw him smile warmly as he moved further and further away.

Your brain supplied the rest.

You’d see him again tomorrow and he’d call out for you, get onto your train going the opposite direction because he couldn’t let you get away again.

That’s you. Friend and lover to many imaginary friends.

Your imagination might be your biggest strength and your greatest weakness.

-

“It’s easy,” your coworker tells you after she’s heard today's story, “When you see him tomorrow, you’re going to talk to him.”

“I can’t. I’d miss my train.”

“You can’t expect everyone else to risk it if you’re not willing to do something yourself.”

She soothes the sting of her harsh words with a box of chocolates.

“I got them on sale. Share them with lover boy.” She winks at you when you leave, hoping against all odds that you might see him again.

He does not cross your way and by the time you walk up the stairs to your apartment, you’ve almost forgotten about him, eager to start your evening routine that consists of good food and a book.

-

There’s a boy standing in the hallway, dark-haired and tall. 

“Oh…” You’re a little too breathless to be comfortable but you wave at him nonetheless.

“You just moved in, right?”

He nods, his eyes a startling shade of blue. His gaze is intense as he takes you in and you stutter through an introduction, offering him your hand.

“Kageyama.” He takes your hand and shakes it, his grip a little too tight to be comfortable, “Kageyama Tobio.”

“Nice to meet you,” your voice is barely above a whisper, too stunned by his attractiveness. “I’m leaving right across from you if you need something.”

He thanks you and falls quiet again and you don’t know what to say, if you should say something at all.

It’s awkward, creeping back to your door, his gaze still on you.

It feels like he doesn’t want the conversation to end but maybe that’s just you making things up, as usual.

Inside your apartment, you’re a sweaty, breathless mess, your heart fluttering so fast you can feel it in your fingertips as you unpack the groceries you bought on the way home.

The box of chocolates falls heavy into your hands, your coworker's words tumble out as well, rolling around your brain like colorful marbles.

-

You’re back at his door, knocking shyly.

When he opens it, he’s not wearing a shirt, the pale expanse of his muscular chest visible.

You squeak, unable to form words.

“Sorry.” He shuts the door and opens it moments later, a rumpled blue shirt now covering his chest. You’re still frozen on his doorstep, chocolates in hand.

“I…” You stumble over your tongue and try again. “I wanted to say hello properly.” You bow awkwardly and offer him the chocolate.

“I don’t really eat chocolate.” He tells you just as awkwardly but he still takes it, a soft pink hue growing on his cheeks. 

He looks deep in thought for a moment, his brows furrowed tight as he speaks.

“I just made Curry. It’s good… Do you want to come in for a moment?”

“S-Sure… Why not?”

-

As it turns out, Kageyama had spilled Curry onto his shirt right when you had knocked.

When you ask if he needs help with getting the stain out, he shakes his head and serves you a bowl.

It’s good. It’s the kind of Curry that pours warmth into every corner of your body and leaves you humming with your eyes closed when you take bite after bite.

When you open your eyes there’s the faintest little smile playing around Kageyama’s lips.

“What do you do for work?” You ask, slowly starting to find your footing.

“I play Volleyball.”

“No way!” You clap your hands in excitement. “What position do you play? And what team? Oh wait, let me guess….” You pause and take him in, trying to pin something on him. 

“Setter?” You ask because it seems the most likely. 

His eyes widen in surprise, the smile on his lips growing bigger.

“How did you know?” He asks and you shrug as if that’s just something you do.

“I play for the Schweiden Adlers.” He tells. “Just started this week.”

“How do you like it so far?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know yet. But they have Ushwaka, so…”

You furrow your brows at the name. It rings a bell.

“Ushijima Wakatoshi,” he explains when he sees your confusion. “He went to Shiratorizawa and we beat him once-”

“Karasuno.” You interrupt him, the words spilling from your lips without a chance to hold them back. “You went to Karasuno.”

He blinks in surprise.

“Yeah, I did. How did you know?”

“I was a manager for Tsubakihara Academy. You played against our team first round of Nationals in my first year.”

There’s something flashing through his eyes that you can’t read. It’s gone too fast to be even sure that it was there.

“What do you work now?” He asks, his voice surprisingly timid now.

-

The hardest thing is saying goodbye at the end of the evening, walking back to your apartment, not knowing if this might happen again.

But hey, at least you tried.

He calls your name when you slide the key into your door and you turn.

The smile on his face is forced.

“I-” He waves his phone around awkwardly. “I don’t have your number. I don’t really know much of Tokyo yet and-”

“Of course.” You’re back at this doorstep in a second, pulling your phone out to share contacts.

Your heart feels lighter after that, the sight of his blush burned into your mind - even his ears had gotten a little red.

-

Later:

“Oh, it’s you.”

You look up to a boy smiling at you.

“Do I know you?” You ask, furrowing your brows to fight the confusion. Maybe someone you went to school with?

“Well, not yet.” He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. “It’s just… I saw you at the train station, I think it was a week ago or something, and we locked eyes just when the train left. I wanted to find you but couldn’t until now-” He stops and looks at something right behind your shoulder.

You turn, still surprised that your imagination had not failed you that one time.

Behind you is Kageyama, or Tobio, as you’re now allowed to call him, wearing the deepest scowl you’ve ever seen on him.

You laugh at his face.

“What’s wrong with you?” You ask, cupping his face in your hands and pulling his mouth into a smile. “You look like you want to eat someone.”

“I think I got something wrong.” The boy behind you mumbles and when you turn around he’s already leaving.

“I think you scared him away.” You tell Tobio who nods solemnly.

“Good.”

When your hands drop from his face he takes one of them in his and pulls you closer.

“Which train do we need to get?” He asks, his voice passive.

It doesn’t hide the pink of his cheeks or the red of his ears.

[archiveikemen]

Xeno Main Story: Chapter 2

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection; expect mistakes, grammatical errors, and some creative liberties. All original content and media used belongs to Cybird. Please support the game by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

Read this before interacting

Xeno: What are you doing here?

Xeno-san questioned in a demanding tone while forcefully grabbing me.

(Scary…!)

Xeno: Answer me!

Rina: I-I’m here to look for my phone. I forgot where I left it, so I was thinking if I left it here by accident.

Rina: I’m really sorry for peeping at you. I don’t mean to interrupt…!

Xeno: … Is the reason why you came to this condominium to do your presentation? 

Rina: Huh? … Yes, it is.

His gaze was intense, as though he was trying to spot a lie in my words…

(Why is he asking such questions? I’ve already said it countless times.)

Xeno: Is that really the only reason why you accepted Sakura-san’s suggestion?

Xeno: Allowing you to live here and interact with us is just reckless and nonsensical. Foolish.

Rina: That’s… that’s what I think too.

Xeno: If you get it then why accept the suggestion? Are you that desperate to make your presentation succeed?

(Could Xeno-san be doubting my sincerity? In that case…)

Rina: Yes.

I replied clearly.

Rina: My dream is to become an advertising planner. But… I haven’t had chances to be involved in the related work.

Rina: I put in my best effort even when completing miscellaneous tasks as an assistant… 

Rina: This is my first time encountering an opportunity this big. That’s why I want to challenge it with all my might, and I absolutely want to succeed. 

Rina: I want to fulfil my dreams. I’m willing to do anything for that to happen, no matter how reckless! 

I spoke with powerful determination.

Xeno: …

Xeno-san stared at me.

Xeno: … Then don’t just use your mouth, prove it in your actions.

(He finally let go of me. Looks like he’s convinced for now.)

Rina: So, umm, about my phone…

Xeno: Your personal item isn’t here.

Rina: I-I see.

Xeno: Then leave. You’re getting in the way of my work.

(Oh!)

(Is he still going to continue working? Regardless…)

Rina: Um, the sun is about to rise. Everyone is resting, you should get some sleep too…

Xeno: Save it.

Xeno: … The actual performance is tomorrow. I have a load of things to check before morning.

Xeno: I don’t have time for sleep. … Now hurry up and scram.

Xeno-san turned his back on me as if to say he was no longer interested.

…

I found my phone in the living room afterwards.

But instead of relief, I felt weighed down by my exchange with Xeno-san earlier on.

(That person is terrifying indeed. I wonder if I’ll be able to properly converse with him before trying to talk him into accepting my project plan…?)

…

My first morning at the condominium.

I went into the living room to see that all the members of exe Creed were present, except Xeno-san.

Ivy: Oh. Good morning, Kawanaga. 

Rina: Good morning.

Ivy: Come sit.

Rina: May I?

Ivy: Of course.

I nervously sat down on the sofa, and the members turned their gazes towards me.

Ivy: Jace and Finn didn’t meet her yesterday, right? She’s the housekeeper assigned to Xeno’s room.

(Ah, I see. He just wants to make it easier for us to meet.)

I thanked Ivy for being considerate and bowed to the two.

Rina: I look forward to working with you from now on.

Ivy: Don’t give her any troubles.

Finn: That should be my line. Oi, don’t come anywhere near my room. You’ll only be a nuisance.

Jace: You can come have fun in my room~ I welcome girls with open arms.

Rina: O-Okay…

Finn-san seemed a little rough and brusque, whereas Jace-san was more lighthearted.

(The two of them remain the same as ever.)

Hugh: …

(Hugh is absent minded. Everyone’s personalities are so different.) 

Rina: Is everyone heading for work right now? Ivy: Yeah.

Finn: All members are performing at this event. 

Jace: Now we’re just waiting for Sakura-san to be done with the preparations. 

Hugh: Xeno too… 

The mention of his name made me recall what happened last night and my heart gave a loud thump. 

Rina: Um, where’s Xeno-san? 

Ivy: He’s getting ready right now because he’s been cooped up in the lesson room ever since our morning practice session ended. 

Finn: That guy’s a perfectionist, always practising till the very last minute. 

(It was almost dawn when we met in the lesson room. He definitely didn’t sleep at all last night.)

(Followed by the practice session in the morning, and he’s still there…) 

Ivy: I’ve told him millions of times that rest time is very important and that he should take proper breaks.

Jace: Isn’t it fine as long as he doesn’t feel tired? This is nothing new for him anyway. 

(Is this really okay?) 

… The conversation went on. 

Xeno: …

Ivy: You’re finally here. 

Even though there didn’t seem to be a single hint of exhaustion on Xeno-san’s face as he walked into the living room… 

Rina: Um, are you tired? If you’re okay with it, I can make you something to drink. 

Xeno: No need. We’ll leave now. Sakura-san is already heading to the car. 

Ivy: Really? Let’s go, everyone. 

Jace: Got it~ 

Finn: Let’s go, Hugh. You can continue sleeping in the car if you want. 

Hugh: Mm… *yawn*…

The members left the apartment one after another; and I hastily called out to Xeno-san. 

Rina: Xeno-san, today is my first official day as a housekeeper. Please guide me well. 

Xeno: …

All he did was glance briefly in my direction and left without saying a word. 

(My future’s going to be so full of hardships…) 

I sighed and left for work too. 

…

(… I saw this coming, but the gazes from the eyes around me are chilling…)

On top of my usual work, I was also assigned all sorts of miscellaneous tasks from other teams; I was basically so busy that I barely had time to even breathe. 

Mori: Quit dawdling around. Take this as a learning opportunity to compensate for your lack of experience. 

Rina: … Got it

(… I just have to put up with this for now. If the presentation succeeds, my situation will definitely change.) 

Meanwhile, I happened to overhear a conversation between some other employees. 

Apparently, exe Creed was going to be a guest performer at the concert of a very famous musician visiting Japan. 

Female Employee 1: Look, it’s trending on SNS (social media)! Netizens are saying that this is exe Creed’s best performance yet! 

Female Employee 2: Amazing~!

(The musician was a Grammy winner, right? I’m certain they’ve collaborated with exe Creed before…) 

= Flashback Start = 

Xeno: … The actual performance is tomorrow. I have a load of things to check before morning.

Xeno: I don’t have time for sleep. … Now hurry up and scram.

… 

Finn: All members are performing at this event. 

= Flashback End =

(So this is the performance Xeno-san and the others were talking about.) 

(They truly are a group of great individuals…)

…

(I’m pooped… but this is my first day of work as a housekeeper, I have to do my job well.) 

…

Sakura-san and the members were gathered in the living room. 

(The air feels tense…) 

Sakura: Oh, welcome back. 

Rina: Thank you. Um, what happened? 

Sakura: We’re just doing a little bit of reflecting on today’s work. 

Rina: Is it the guest performance for the concert? I heard it was the group’s best ever performance— 

Xeno: What do you mean “best ever”? It was the complete opposite. 

Rina: Eh…

Sakura: There was an unexpected incident.

Sakura: Xeno had already thoroughly discussed with the other party on what kind of performance would be done at the concert. 

Sakura: However, during the actual performance, Finn disregarded everything that was practised so far and inserted a solo dance part on his own accord. 

Xeno: As a result, I had no choice but to improvise on the spot.

Xeno: Even though we managed to recover our positions immediately, the performance we’ve been rehearsing was messed up… 

Rina: But it’s impressive that you managed to get back on track. 

Xeno: We merely dealt with the given situation. Such matters should never be allowed to disrupt a perfect performance. 

Xeno-san shot a glare at Finn-san. 

Finn: You’re so annoying. Stop nitpicking and fussing about such insignificant things. 

Facing Xeno-san head on, Finn-san spoke without holding back. 

Finn: The most important part when it comes to dance is the tension and momentum of the surroundings. 

Finn: At that time, the audience called for a more passionate dance. All I did was fulfil their request. 

Hugh: Finn is good at dancing… 

Jace: The audience went wild too. That was the most enthusiastic crown we’ve ever seen, I think? 

Finn: Isn’t it? 

Ivy: While that’s true… we can’t ignore the fact that there was indeed a slip up on stage. 

Jace: It’s nothing bad, though? Even if you call it a slip up, it was brushed off in an instant. It’s not as if the entire performance failed. 

Xeno: There’s nothing good about it at all. Don’t ever tackle stage performances so haphazardly. 

Xeno-san’s chilling voice echoed through the living room. 

Xeno: Since we’re performing, we should do our absolute best to make it through and flawless.

Xeno: As professionals, there’s no room for mistakes. 

Xeno: I choreographed today’s performance while taking the program and client into account. 

Xeno: A stage exe Creed stands on has no need for troublemakers. 

Finn: WHAT? So you’re saying that I’m not needed? 

Finn-san had fury written all over his face. 

(What should I do? If they start quarrelling, they’ll…!) 

Amidst the increasingly tense situation, I could only hold my breath and watch in silence. 

Ivy: That’s enough, Finn. You too, Xeno. I get what you’re trying to say, but you went too far. 

Xeno: … exe Creed must be perfect. Just follow the arrangements I planned out, is all I have to say. 

With that, Xeno-san left the living room. 

Sakura: Goodness, here we go again. 

Rina: Uh-uhm, is everything alright? 

Sakura: I can’t exactly say it is, but… well, this is a common occurrence. 

Rina: T-this? 

Ivy: Yeah… because Xeno’s a perfectionist. 

Hugh: I’m tired… 

Jace: Me too… 

Jace: The stuff Xeno said wasn’t entirely wrong, it’s just that his tone always sounds like he’s lecturing us and that’s a pain in the ass. 

Finn: That guy’s way too meticulous. A person’s character can be expressed through dance too. 

Finn: Our stage isn’t so floppy that it’d be ruined by a slight change in choreography.

Ivy: You need to reflect on yourself, Finn. The stage was indeed messed up.  

Finn: We had fun still, so can’t we call it even? 

… Despite the quarrel earlier on, the atmosphere among the members was surprisingly calm. 

Ivy: Sorry for scaring you. Xeno often clashes with the members like this. 

Ivy: Don’t be mistaken, though. None of us hate Xeno. We acknowledge his abilities. 

Rina: I see… 

Indeed, although the members were somewhat annoyed, they didn’t exactly take his words to heart. 

(But what about Xeno-san? What does he do after arguments like that?) 

I got very curious about him. 

Rina: … I’ll go do some housekeeping before checking on Xeno-san. 

I hurriedly prepared myself for my housekeeping duties and headed for Xeno-san’s room…  

[changingplumbob]

Knightstone Household: Chapter 9, Part 4

Pollock: Mummy gift tomorrow

Suzanna: Yeah, it’s Winterfest tomorrow. When you wake up there’ll be a lovely tree and some nice presents for you

Pollock: I excite

Suzanna: Well before that can happen you need to sleep so snuggle down

Suzanna read a book to Pollock until he was snoring. After tucking him in she went over and tucked in Silas to. She was intrigued by human holidays and knew Winterfest should have snow. They never got any in Oasis Springs so she hoped Chestnut Ridge would put on a show.

Before heading to bed Suzanna attended to the various plumbing problems that had sprung up that day. The toilet in the guest bathroom needed fixing and the dishwasher had started playing up. After those she performed an expert repair on the shower she and Adam use.

Adam on the other hand had been working on his debate skills. He was almost at the top of his career but there were a few more things he had to upskill before he could try for a promotion.

Suzanna: Hey you’re human

Adam: Well you wanted to try a traditional Winterfest right? I see you’ve put on your disguise to

Suzanna: Yeah but... I may have been thinking about things other than Winterfest

Adam: Knew it! You’ve been glowing pink for hours

Suzanna: And the watcher put this new mod in and I can feel the heat of a flush in my cheeks, it's so weird

Adam: It looks nice. Do you think it’ll stay

Suzanna: I don’t know, she’s not too sure how the sickness part works but she wants to try

Adam: Man this watcher sounds much less stress than the Sixam aliens. You know I swear I saw a UFO when I activated the satellite this morning

Suzanna: Don’t worry about them. Worry about me

Adam: Care for an early present in bed

Suzanna: *laughing* Smooth, let’s go

During the night the snow started falling and our aliens transformed in to Winterfest Elves!

Of course wanting to properly immerse in the Winterfest spirit Suzanna made the family pose for a holiday photo. Happy Winterfest everyone!

The boys however were excited for gift time, and could hardly pull their eyes off the pile of gifts.

Suzanna: Alright, Adam you go first

Silas: I helped pick it

Adam: Hmm, too small to be a grill

Suzanna: Why would you need a grill in winter

Adam: I heard someone at work say they wanted one for Winterfest. Oh new paints! I’ve been looking for this blue for months but they were out of stock. Where’d you get it

Suzanna: Tell you and outlive my usefulness? I think not

Silas: What’s this

Adam: It’s a composition book. You were asking about writing songs so I thought you might like a place to write any you come up with. Your mum picked the colour

Silas: Thank you Daddy, thank you Mummy! Now Pollock it’s your turn

Pollock: For Pol

Silas: Yep. I went through my toys and I’ve found some you might like now that you can play with more

Pollock: YAY!

As Silas and Pollock discuss toys Adam pulls Suzanna away to give her gift to her.

Adam: Happy Winterfest Starlight

Suzanna: Let me guess. It’s an outfit you want me to wear

Adam: *chuckles* Not this time. I uh... I heard you talking to Shelley about gemology being a new skill? And I know you love to learn so I got you a book, I hope it’s the right one. I figured you’d like to learn a bit before cutting in to you collection

Suzanna: Oh Adam it’s perfect!

Adam: You’re not just saying that because I’m a hot head and could fly off the handle if you don’t like it

Suzanna: Adam, you’re my hot head. Besides, I know you wouldn’t mess with a woman with a simray

Adam: *laughs* I would not

Suzanna: I feel bad I only got you the paint now

Adam: Don’t be. You’re a gift to me, every day. I love you so much they can probably detect it on Sixam

Suzanna: *smiles* I love you right back, always and forever

Suzanna headed out to the garden and was mesmerised by the snow. She knew the watcher had installed a snow override but she hadn’t expected it to be this crisp and clear. It looked beautiful, and she loved seeing defined snowflakes rather than the old clumps. Most of the plants had spawned fruits, flowers and vegetables overnight but a few were still holding on to not growing. Hopefully when she returned to work they would snap out of their funk.

Inside Silas took some time to practice on the piano unobserved while Adam took Pollock to learn to potty. Their guests would be arriving soon and he didn’t want his youngest to miss it.

Previous ... Next

[woman-of-balnain]

You Don't Form in the Wet Sand (I Do) - Part 1/2 (Alpha Rick x Omega Reader)

Masterlist | AO3 Ver. | Next Part

Pairing: Rick Grimes/Fem!Reader

Request: An omega reader who is able to handle and defend herself and how Rick would deal with that considering he just wants to protect her.

A/N:

So, this all takes place during the early period of the ‘farmer Rick’ era (between s3 and s4). I have it so that Hershel wants to get the infirmary stocked up with everything he needs to get it properly up and running (Dr S isn’t part of the community yet).

The hospital in this story isn’t the one that Dawn runs.

I’m going to write chapter 2 right after posting this, so it’ll be up soon and is just 100% smut of their first shared rut/heat.

TW: Strangulation of the Reader in an attempt to kill her (by an enemy, NOT Rick). The way it’s described might make it seem like it’s going on for longer than it is, but I intended it to be fairly minor, with no permanent or serious damage. Idk if that comes across clearly though, sorry. I also don’t know how realistic it is, because I am not a doctor, but a complete idiot…

Warnings: See the TW above, a/b/o dynamic (some non-traditional), established relationship, dominant Rick, protective Rick, killing both walkers and other people, independent omega Reader, female Reader.

Word Count: 4,576

Dividers by: @newlips + @cafekitsune

You loved the moments when Rick didn’t realize you were looking at him. He was so cocky whenever he caught you, that you savored the times when he was completely unaware, and you could just take him in with open and unrestrained appreciation. He was tending to the crops in the prison yard alone, like he always did these days, and you realized that you missed the way he was before he’d decided to basically retire.

There had been times where he’d get too protective of you, whenever the group was in a dangerous situation, but you knew it was just his instincts as an alpha coming through. Luckily, you could handle your own, so he really didn’t have any reason to worry. That never stopped him though, and even now he hated when you went out on a supply run without him.

“Hey cowboy,” you greeted Rick, walking up to him.

He stopped what he was doing and turned to look at you, a grin curling up on his lips at the familiar nickname you always used.

“You ever gonna stop callin’ me that?” He asked, letting out a light laugh.

“Nope,” you replied playfully with a small smile of your own. “You’re just asking for it.”

You loved his southern drawl, the slight lilt his tone had with certain words. You would never admit it to him, of course, and teased him about it constantly instead. Sometimes you would mimic him, emphasizing certain syllables, like how he tended to say ‘anythang’ and he would just roll his eyes or kiss you in that way of his where he reminded you just how much you loved it.

Because, in reality his accent drove you wild and you found everything about him to be incredibly sexy. You’d never outright admitted it, but he never missed an opportunity to let you know that he was perfectly aware of it all the same.

Rick shook his head with amusement, bringing you back to the present moment.

“What’re you doing out here anyway?” He asked.

“I wanted to talk to you about something. Hershel asked if I could go on a run to get some medical supplies he needs.”

“Who’re you going with?”

“I’m not sure yet, but I just wanted to let you know in case I’m not back for a while.”

Rick frowned and you just knew that his protective instincts were kicking in.

“Baby, can’t it wait ‘til tomorrow?” He asked.

“Why?”

“I’ll go with you,” he said it so simply, like it was something he still did all the time.

“I thought you weren’t doing stuff like that anymore…”

“It’s just a supply run,” he pointed out. “And I could use a day off.”

“Okay,” you agreed. “We can head out in the morning.”

He nodded and you turned to head back up to the prison, but he stopped you. Rick wrapped his arms around your waist from behind and bent his head to give your cheek an affectionate kiss.

“Omega…” he murmured against your skin. “You’re just gonna walk off without saying goodbye?”

You melted a little from how sweet he could be at times, and the way his fingers traced light patters through the material of your shirt was undeniably tantalizing.

“Don’t you have work to do, cowboy?” You asked him playfully. “I don't want to distract you.”

“Just you being here is a distraction,” he retorted, moving his mouth down to the curve of your neck.

You pulled away slightly until you could turn to face him again. You faltered a little, seeing the look he was giving you. Rick’s gaze had become heated, and it wasn’t the first time that the intensity in his eyes had thrown you off. You hadn’t been together for very long, but he always seemed to look at you with such open desire and admiration.

Unlike you, Rick had no problems with being open about his feelings. But he was an alpha and they were supposed to be confident and strong. You, on the other hand, had never really been a typical omega. You were too independent, too headstrong, too capable of defending yourself, too much of what an omega wasn’t.

Most alphas you’d encountered in your life either found that to be a turnoff or took it as their chance to ‘fix’ you. Because of that, you’d never actually been with an alpha before Rick, always dating betas instead. While he worried and got protective over you, he was never overbearing or domineering, and it all stemmed from the genuine care he held for you.

Yet, despite all of that, the idea of being vulnerable around him still filled you with trepidation. You kept that side of you hidden, because you didn’t want to be underestimated even more than you usually were by people who didn’t know you well enough. But deep down, you liked Rick’s protectiveness and you wanted to show your more sensitive side. You just weren’t sure how to yet.

Pushing those thoughts aside, you brought your focus back to Rick and the present moment. Letting your fingers curl around the collar of his shirt, you pulled him closer and gave him exactly what he wanted by bringing his lips to yours. His hold on you tightened and he started to deepen the kiss, but you pulled away again.

“You should get back to work, cowboy,” you told him playfully, masking the inner conflict you felt.

Yet, Rick frowned, likely picking up on it through your scent anyway.

“Okay,” he said softly, apparently letting it go for now. “I’ll come find you later.”

You gave him another quick kiss before turning around again and heading back towards the infirmary, intending to tell Hershel that you wouldn’t be going out until the next day.

The town you had picked out wasn’t exactly close to the prison, so Rick was glad that you’d both decided to head out early in the morning. Still, he couldn’t help but to feel on edge due to the fact that your destination was the local hospital. Sure, it would hopefully have everything Hershel would need, but it would also be crawling with walkers.

He had just wanted some time alone with you, away from everyone else, but now Rick was mentally kicking himself for not organizing a bigger group for the task. He knew you could handle yourself, but that didn’t stop his inner alpha from getting the urge to protect you and make sure you didn’t run into any danger. On a trip like this though, danger was inevitable.

“Hey, let’s check out that pharmacy first,” you pointed to a building further down the street. “It might have some of the stuff we need.”

Before Rick could even begin to respond, you were already jogging towards it.

“Y/N!” He called out after you, wishing you were a little more cautious about these things.

“Keep up, cowboy!” You teased him, never once slowing down.

Rick sighed when you disappeared into the building and ran to catch up. His heart skipped a beat when he saw that there were a few walkers in there with you. But as he took care of the one closest to him, you pushed one of the others away before plunging your knife into the third one’s head. After that was taken care of, you bent down to kill the second one, which had fallen over after you shoved it away from you.

Rick wanted to admonish you for not being more careful and just running in there recklessly, but ultimately, you’d had it handled. Just like you always did… You straightened back up after pulling your knife back out of the walker’s skull and wiping it clean on its tattered clothes. Then you turned to face Rick, evidently catching the annoyed look on his face as you did.

“What?” You asked.

“Nothing,” he groused, knowing it was useless to say anything.

“Okay, grumbles,” you teased him with a smile before taking in the empty shelves of the pharmacy. “Damn, this place has been wiped clean.”

Your observation was stating the obvious, as there was quite literally nothing left.

“C’mon,” Rick gestured back to the street with his head. “We shouldn’t waste any more time.”

“Do you think the hospital is still worth checking out?” You asked as you both left the store again. “It could’ve been looted by now too.”

“Maybe,” Rick agreed. “But we should at least go and see.”

He didn’t like it, because he knew it would be worse than the pharmacy and likely completely overrun by walkers. But he also knew that the trip would be a waste if you both didn’t at least find out. So, you both continued on towards the hospital, with Rick trying to ignore his growing uneasiness.

Something was off with Rick; you’d picked it up in his scent all day and it just seemed to get worse as the hours passed you by. It was usually comforting and gave off a calm sense of confidence, but now there was an edge to it like something was bothering him at an instinctual level. The weirdest part was how it wasn’t even unpleasant – just notably different.

You tried to ignore it as you looked through your binoculars and observed the outside of the hospital from a safe distance. But his scent wrapped around you more than usual, almost like it was trying to coax some kind of reaction out of you.

“Think these are the guys who cleared out the pharmacy?” You asked Rick, scanning the front of the building.

There were two men with machine guns standing outside and talking together. You both knew there must be more of them inside, and walkers were no longer the issue you would have to deal with.

“Yeah,” Rick muttered from beside you, his scent suddenly becoming more prominent.

“Are you okay?” You questioned, turning your head to look at him. “Your scent is… I don’t know, but it’s stronger than usual.”

“I’m fine,” he frowned in response. “Let’s just work out what we’re gonna do and get out of here.”

“Okay,” you relented, deciding to drop it for now. “So, do we take them on? They don’t exactly look friendly; I doubt they’re willing to share whatever they’ve got stashed away in there.”

“We should just leave it,” Rick suggested. “We don’t have a reason to attack them. We can find the supplies somewhere else.”

You almost agreed with him, but it also seemed like these guys were just hoarding stuff because they could, while there were children and older people at the prison who likely needed it more. You weren’t ready to give up on the trip just yet, especially when you knew there had to be some good stuff inside. Maybe even more than you’d been expecting to find when you set out earlier that morning.

“Okay, you’re not gonna like this –” you started to say.

“Y/N…” Rick’s tone was full of warning as he cut you off.

“Just hear me out,” you argued. “No one’s guarding that side entrance over there, see? I can sneak in and see if I can find anything and get a feel for the place. But you need to stay here.”

“No way,” he denied you without hesitating.

“Your scent will give us away, Rick,” you pointed out. “Anyone could smell you from a mile off right now. It’s a wonder those two haven’t already.”

“You’re an omega. They’ll pick up on that too.”

“I’ll be fine,” you tried to placate him and handed over the binoculars. “Just stay here. I won’t be long.”

You were already moving away from him before Rick could retort – yet again. He groaned in frustration, briefly wondering if his scent really was that strong or if it had just been an excuse to make him stay behind. But Rick knew you would have acknowledged the fact that you’d work better together, so he begrudgingly accepted that you’d asked him to stay there for a good reason.

He looked through the binoculars, tension swirling through him as he watched you approach the unguarded entrance. You were keeping low to the ground, making sure you wouldn’t be spotted, and Rick was at least grateful that you weren’t approaching the building recklessly like you had at the pharmacy. But his relief was short lived, as you then disappeared inside, and he was left to wonder what was going on within those walls.

He became more agitated and restless as time seemed to drag on at a torturously slow pace. He was itching to just go in and make sure you were okay, but the knowledge that they might pick up on his scent and that alerting them would put you in danger was the only thing holding him back. Yet, when he heard a gunshot ring out and the two men guarding the door reacted by rushing inside, Rick’s instincts took over.

He sprinted over to the entrance, drawing his Python from his holster as he did. He was so on edge that he could hear the pounding beat of his heart drumming away in his ears. Rick pushed his back against the wall to the side of the entrance and peered inside cautiously, forcing himself to be tactical rather than just barge in like he wanted to.

He saw that the two guards were walking slowly down the hall, clearly trepidatious since they also weren’t sure what they were getting themselves into as they went to investigate the signs of a disturbance that had rung out. One of them called out a name, likely checking to see if everything inside was okay. Rick waited tensely, also wanting to see if he needed to make a move or not. Maybe you were okay, and it had just been a coincidence or the result of some trigger-happy idiot.

But then another couple of gunshots rang out and Rick’s frustration reached its boiling point. He was done guessing. He pushed his body away from the wall and turned towards the entrance, letting two of his own shots ring out, hitting both men in the backs of their heads and watching their bodies slump down onto the floor.

He didn’t care in that moment, pushing aside the fact that he’d been trying to put all the killing behind him. Because Rick had picked up on your scent after that third gunshot and it was filled with distress. He had never sensed that in you, which just made him more anxious. There had been fear and worry in the past, when things had gone wrong, but never the raw panic that was there now.

So, Rick didn’t hesitate and headed further into the building, seeking you out and hoping that he wasn’t too late.

Things had been quiet when you first entered the hospital and it set your mind at ease, because you felt like you were correct in your suspicion that there weren’t many of them. You snuck through the halls, peering into rooms and keeping an ear out in case anyone was nearby. It disappointed you to find everything looking fairly empty, with everything useful seeming to have been ransacked.

“Do you smell that?”

You froze, sensing that the voice had come from just around the corner.

“No… what?” Another one replied.

“’Course you don’t, you’re a beta,” the first voice muttered with slight annoyance. “There’s an omega’s scent. Someone’s here.”

You panicked slightly, realizing your plan to sneak in and out unnoticed had definitely failed. There was some slight hesitation within you, as you debated between unholstering either your knife or your gun, but there were two of them, so you decided on the latter.

As you tightened your grip around the handle and raised it up in front of you, the two men finally turned the corner and paused, leaving the three of you in a standoff. The alpha had raised his gun instinctively as soon as he saw you, while the beta, who stood a little behind him, was slower to react.

“You lost or something, omega?” The alpha asked you gruffly.

“I need supplies,” you replied coldly. “I’m betting you have enough to go around.”

“Like hell we do. All the shit here’s ours, we ain’t sharin’.”

He looked you up and down then, eyeing you in a way that made your blood boil.

“Maybe we’ll take you too,” he suggested. “Ain’t many omegas around anymore.”

He took a step closer, and you cocked back the hammer of your revolver, getting ready to shoot.

“Don’t move,” you warned him.

“What’re you gonna do?” The alpha patronized you. “You ever even fired that thing?”

“Take another step and find out,” you seethed.

“Sugar, this ain’t a game,” he moved forward again. “Now, drop th–”

You pulled the trigger, getting him right between the eyes. You barely processed his body going limp before you were pointing the gun at the beta who had remained silent during your exchange with the now dead alpha.

“He was right about one thing at least,” you told the beta calmly. “This isn’t a game. Hands up.”

He reluctantly complied, raising his arms to show that he wasn’t going to act as stupidly as his friend had.

“You make any sudden moves and you’ll be the next one to get a bullet in the brain.”

The beta nodded before his eyes briefly flicked behind you. There wasn’t time to react, as you realized one of them must have snuck up on you, because you were pushed to the ground almost immediately after. The gun fell from your hands as you felt like the wind had been knocked out of you, but you were quick to try and reach it again.

It was another alpha who had now climbed on top of you, and he pulled your head back by gripping onto your hair tightly. You groaned from the pain, but never stopped trying to reach for the gun. When your fingers finally wrapped around the grip again, the alpha turned you over roughly, his hands now reaching up to your throat.

“Don’t just stand there, you idiot,” the new alpha yelled at the useless beta who still hadn’t made a move. “Get the damned gun off her!”

His fingers started to tighten around your neck, and you began gasping for air. As the beta was brought out of his stupor, you panicked and lifted the gun up to aim it at him. The trigger was pulled before you even had time to really think about it, and the bullet hit him in the chest, causing him to stagger forward and then fall on his knees. You pulled it another time, this time getting him in the head and you briefly hoped that it had lodged into his brain. But that was the least of your worries, as you struggled with the lack of oxygen you were still experiencing.

You bent your arms to try and aim it at the alpha instead and he finally relinquished his merciless grip around your neck. Unfortunately, the action just caused you to let out a choked gasp and then a desperate inhale as air filled your lungs again. He took it as his opportunity to lean forward and try to wrestle the gun from your hands. You pulled the trigger once more in an act of desperation, fear completely overcoming you in that moment. But the bullet just went up into the roof and the alpha continued to try and overpower you.

But then by some miracle, his grip loosened, and he was pushed away from you. Turning onto your side, you coughed a few times as your throat still felt sore from the way he'd been squeezing down on it. Rick was focused on the other alpha, absolutely furious as the force of his fist brought the asshole down onto the floor. He glanced at you briefly, seeing that you were okay for the most part, but still struggling to get your breathing back to normal. Yet, when he caught sight of the discolored skin around your throat, with the imprint of the other alpha’s fingers there, he saw red.

He rounded on the other man again, bringing his fists down relentlessly while the bastard struggled to try and gain the upper hand. Rick vaguely noted the way you stood up on slightly shaky legs and closed the distance between the two of you. A final shot rang out as you fired another bullet into the alpha’s head, bringing an abrupt end to Rick’s assault on him.

“He… he’s not worth it,” you told Rick, your voice hoarse after the recent assault on your throat.

Rick stood up, clearly still fuming as he regarded you irately.

“He could have killed you, Y/N,” he yelled, gesturing to your neck and the tender skin there. “Do you have a death wish or something? I tried to tell you this was a bad idea, why don’t you ever listen?”

You had never felt so vulnerable around Rick as you did in that moment. You had truly been terrified that you wouldn’t make it through that alive. But he had come for you and while you knew that he was right about you being reckless and that his anger was coming from a place of protectiveness, you still hated that he was mad at you.

So, before he could get another word out, you stepped forward and wrapped your arms around him in a grateful hug. Rick hesitated for just a moment before he returned your tight embrace, his head falling to the crook of your neck as he let out a sigh of relief. For the first time, you let him see a more sensitive side of you, because if there was any alpha in the world that you felt safe around like that, it was him.

But his anger and frustration hadn't faded yet and you let out a startled gasp as he pushed you against the nearest wall. Despite his agitation, you melted into his hold as Rick turned his head and began pressing frantic kisses along your mating gland in an attempt to calm himself down. It felt so good and so right, and it caused your inner omega to feel completely and utterly content. His lips were soft against your sensitive skin and a rush of desire swept through you from how he teased all of your senses by stimulating that single spot. When his tongue darted out, licking along the entirety of the gland that was still smooth and unclaimed, you let out a desperate moan.

"You're gonna learn to listen," he practically growled out against your skin.

The underlying warning that was in his tone caused your stubborn nature to rise within you.

"Or what?" You challenged him.

Rick's teeth bit down onto your gland and you realized with surprise that you were disappointed because he didn't break into the skin. You had never even seriously considered him claiming you, but that one small action left you yearning for it.

"Don't push me, omega," he warned you again, his fingers digging into your waist through the material of your shirt.

"What're you gonna do, cowboy?" You asked him again, wanting to do exactly that.

You weren't just surprised by this new dominant side he was showing, but you were also surprised by how much you liked it. Maybe you should have been worried, because he seemed less in control of himself than usual, but your own mind and body seemed to be drifting away from any sense of logic and all you could really consider was how badly you wanted him in that moment.

Rick gave you his answer by biting down harder and it didn't matter that the skin was already sore from what had just happened. Your mating gland was one of the most sensitive parts of your body, so the action only made you feel overcome with desire. You knew it would likely leave a mark - even if it wasn't the one you suddenly craved - but you didn't care and instinct took over. You tilted your head up slightly, letting your nose rest against his own scent gland before you breathed him in, almost feeling addicted to the sense of comfort he so effortlessly gave you. But you picked up on something else there too and you suddenly became worried again.

“Oh shit,” you breathed out. “Rick, you’re going into a rut…”

It all made sense to you. How on edge he’d been all day, the way his scent had become stronger than usual and now it was just obvious with your nose pressed to his mating gland.

"I know," was all he said, because of course he knew.

What was strange though, was how suddenly it had escalated. But considering the danger he'd found you in, it wasn't really that hard to believe. The whole thing probably caused his inner alpha to become desperate to claim you as his own. Even if he didn't bite into your mating gland, just spending his rut with you would likely be enough to satiate his need to prove that you belonged to him, that you were his to protect. Rick pulled back a little to look at you and you realized that you had never seen him look that turned on before. You squeezed your legs together a little as your own desire grew.

“You’ll have to stay with me,” he pointed out.

You knew what he meant. If you stayed out of his sight, he would go crazy with worry and just come and find you anyway, due to how much an alpha’s instincts took over during their rut. More to the point, he would still be able to pick up on your scent and that alone would mean that there was no way he would be able to stay away from you.

No matter what, you were about to experience an alpha’s rut for the first time, and it made you a little nervous.

“I won’t hurt you, baby,” Rick promised, knowing about your trepidation regarding the whole thing. “Just trust me.”

You nodded and Rick looked into the room behind you before apparently deciding that it would have to do. When he stepped away from you and gave you a chance to look, you saw that that there was a simple but clean hospital bed, yet practically nothing else.

“Wait here,” you told him. “I’ll find some stuff to barricade the door.”

But he tugged on your arm as you turned to leave and brought you close to him again.

“I can’t wait that long, ‘mega,” he murmured huskily in your ear.

Your eyes widened as you felt his hardened, but covered length poking into your back and you realized again just how quickly his rut had advanced. Rick’s arms wrapped around you, holding you there against him as his lips returned to your scent gland and his hands began exploring your body.

“Baby, I need you now,” he told you insistently.

And as he continued to tease you in every possible way, you knew that it was pointless to try and resist, because not only was his rut now in full force, but a familiar sense of heated and uncontrollable desire had begun building up within you too.

--

Next Part

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[soulofapatrick]

Make Me Yours - Tommy Miller x reader

Summary: In which Joel tells Ellie the truth but Y/N makes Ellie forgive Joel and  Joel doesn't die... was meant to be a Joel x reader but Tommy won me over so mainly Tommy and Y/N accepting feelings when Y/N returns to Jackson with Ellie

Words: 3.4k

Warnings: Smut; oral (female receiving); p in v

Y/N’s POV

I find Ellie up at one of the patrol stops, Shimmer grazing on any grass she can find in the snow covered ground. Ellie’s kneeling in the snow, hands over her heart as she gasps as if mid panic attack. I make sure she can hear my approach as I do not want to get shot or stabbed by her as she might be young but she’s got a fucking amazing aim. 

She flinches when I kneel down next to her, not caring for the snow that has begun to seep through my jeans or the burns I’ll get from wet jeans later. All I care about is Ellie right now and being there for her and show her that Joel really does love her despite lying to her. He lied to me too and I am mad but I understand why he did it. 

“Peanut,” I touch her shoulder and she shoves my hand away while whipping around and I feel my heart break. She looks a mess and I just want to pull her into a hug but I’m not going to push her, she’ll come to me when she wants to. 

“He lied to me!” She’s yelling but there’s a waver to her voice and her clover green eyes glassy with unshed tears. Her eyes have always enthralled me because they look like the growth of new spring, always bright and soft at the same time. Even full of tears her eyes hold promises of hope and agelessness. 

“Yeah, yeah he did,” I agree. I’m not going to lie to her as she’s been lied to enough.  I know what it’s like to be lied to like that and I never what her too feel like, she’s too young to be feeling shit like that. She’s seventeen, she should be going out to parties and having fun, not feeling like her heart’s been torn to shreds. 

“I wanted my life to mean something. I wanted it to save the world.” Her bottom lip is trembling now and her hand moves a little closer to me but she’s not going to ask for comfort just yet. Ellie is every bit as stubborn as Joel so I decide to risk it.

“Oh baby girl,” I reach out for her, brushing a loose strand of hair out of her eyes, “You did save the world. You’re his world Ellie, you saved him. You taught him how to love again and you became everything to him. In saving you from that hospital he was saving the world. His world.” I whisper, just watching as her eyes widen in realisation and those tears finally fall. She lets out a heaving sob, falling forwards into my open arms, face buried in my shirt as she grips it like I’m going to disappear. I just hug her back, a hand rubbing comforting circles until the sobs turn to quiet sniffles. 

“What about you?“ She pulls back enough to look me in the eyes, “Did I save you too?”

“Yes,” The word slips out before I can even process her question properly. I hold her face in my hands, thumbs wiping her tears away before continuing, “I couldn’t imagine my life without you or Joel. I’m also pissed at him for lying to me about it but I understand why he did it. There would be a massive hole in my chest if you weren’t in my life Peanut.”

She smiles, corners turned down still as she sniffles so I grab the back of her head and pull her against my in another hug which she accepts, a shiver going through her. She’s getting cold and I want to get her home so she doesn’t get a fever but she’s speaking before I can, “I need to talk to Joel. I need to-“ 

“You’re going on patrol with Tommy and Joel tomorrow. Let’s get you back and I’ll talk to Tommy okay? You’ll have all the time in the world to tell Joel anything you want.” 

She nods, taking my hand as I lead us back to Shimmer. I climb up before holding out my hand so she can settle behind me and we can make out way back to Jackson. Ellie had run off and I told everyone to let me go as over the last few years Ellie and I seem to have gained a mother-daughter bond despite there only being 4 almost 5 years between us. My heart melts just that little bit more when she lays her cheek against my back, humming to herself. 

Tommy’s waiting in the lookout for the gates for us like I asked him too, pulling the gates open so Shimmer can trot inside before he shuts the gate after us. Ellie slides off Shimmer’s rump, grabbing the reins for me while Tommy approaches. My heart flutters when his firm hands grip my hips and he’s helping me down so Ellie can take Shimmer back to her stable with a wiggle of her eyebrows at the way my face flushes when Tommy’s hands haven’t left my waist yet. He’s studying my face, an unreadable expression on his own rugged one. 

“You’re a miracle worker,” He finally speaks, that southern lilt making me weak at the knees and I think I would really fall there and then if he wasn’t holding on to me. I’m stumbling when he drags me forwards and our faces are oh so close but I can’t… not after the events of today and he seems to understand because he’s hugging me instead. I can’t deny I’m a little disappointed he didn’t kiss me but I’ll take any physical contact from the younger Miller I can. I’m relaxing into his grip, gently scratching his scalp under his soft blond locks and relishing in the small sounds he lets out into my shoulder where his face is buried. His hands are rubbing my back soothingly through my hoodie and it’s as if he’s just realised I’m not in  clothes suitable for winter weather, “Oh sunshine, you’ll catch a cold. Come on, lets get you inside and dry.” 

I revel in the feel of his hand in mine as he leads me into the bustling town, a few eyes glancing at us as anything Tommy is gossip as he is the right hand man of Miss Maria Jackson - leader of Jackson. Yeah, yeah funny, her last name is the same as the town she runs. I found Tommy when Joel; Ellie and I stumbled upon the power plant. Maria almost shot our heads off but it lead to a reunion of the Miller brothers that honestly had my eyes watering because I’ve never heard Joel so broken or ever seen him smile as big as he did when they hugged. 

Tommy’s ushering me inside his bungalow and it still surprises me how humble he really is compared to all the stories Joel’s told me over that year I spent travelling to Jackson with him and Ellie. Tommy’s place is very homey with things he managed to retrieve from his house in Austin like some photos of him, Joel and Sarah as well as one of the many guitars they apparently had in the house. It feels like a breath of fresh air compared to other homes in Jackson and I love visiting Tommy and just spending time with him. 

I must have stopped walking because Tommy’s bumping into me, his hands flying to my sides to steady as I stumble a little, “Sorry there Sunshine, help yourself to whatever you need from my room just get out of those wet clothes before you catch a cold.” He’s lightly shoving me towards his room down the corridor before making his way to his kitchen. I do as he says, kicking my shoes off by the door so I don’t track mud and snow all over his home before going into his room.

It’s very Tommy like with a few old posters from bands and movies I’ve only heard stories about from friends or my brothers. The guitar he saves in against the wall, a few burn marks in it but it’s still beautiful as if the burns add to it’s meaning. His duvet is a deep blue that just screams Tommy and on his bedside table is a photo of him and Sarah: she’s laughing as he’s midway through spinning her and they just look so happy. It makes me wish I could have met Sarah as she seemed like the world to both Miller brothers and it hurts to see the way their eyes soften with past trauma whenever talking about her or hearing her name. 

The sound of movement outside the door has me snapping out of my thoughts and I’m unbuttoning my now soaking jeans, wincing as the rough fabric burns my icy cold skin on the way down. I’m then yanking my hoodie and shirt over my head in one go, letting it fall to the floor before I head over to the newly built chest of drawers. 

I settle for a pair of baggy black sweatpants that cling to hips for dear life to stay up at how big they are and a grey long sleeved henley. I can’t help but bring the sleeve up to my nose and inhale as it smells like Tommy and it’s intoxicating the way vanilla; hay and gunpowder all rolled up into one is enough to make me weak at the knees for the man. 

“You ready?” Tommy’s calling through the door and I grab my clothes off the floor and exit his room with one longing look back at the very comfy looking bed before joining him in the kitchen. He’s leaning against the counter, one leg crossed over the other at the ankle, hair now pinned back in a loose bun and mug of coffee in his hand. He looks good and I can’t take my eyes off of him as his jade ones drag down and then back up my body unabashedly and I suddenly can’t move. I can’t think. I can’t breathe. 

He’s putting down his cup and heading over, pulling the clothes from my now trembling grip to hand them up to dry before he’s turning back to me. There’s a look in his eyes that has me swallowing thickly as he stops in front of me, hands grasping mine and pulling me into his chest. I want what he wants but it feels somewhat wrong, having travelled with and spent so much time with Joel and Ellie so for me to want someone else than everyone thinks… it feels like I shouldn’t want it. 

But I do. Oh I really fucking do want this. 

Warm and open mouthed lips press against my collarbone, leaving me feeling electrified. It causes warm shivers to trail down my back, especially when his enthralling lips move upwards until they reach that sweet stop where my jaw meets my neck and I’m grabbing his arm as a small sound escapes my slightly parted lips. He smiles and before I can react teeth are sinking into that spot before his tongue soothes the pain and I’m tilting my head to the side to give him more room as my nails dig half moons into his arms. He’s guiding me to the sofa but I barely notice until I’m being pulled down onto his lap. 

It draws a sharp gasp from me but I don’t protest, instead I shift myself into a comfortable position with my legs either side of Tommy’s own so I’m straddling his lap. He’s grasping my chin and guiding my lips to his, slowly enough for me to pull away if I want to but I don’t. Instead, I let my eyes slip shut and he’s kissing me. I know in this moment that I will never get bored of these lips, gentleness in the way he kisses me. I always thought of first kisses with your partner being rough and needy, hot and heavy but this… this is full of sweet innocence and the type of slow burning want that has me breathless. Anything Tommy does has me breathless. He tastes like strawberries and coffee which isn’t something I thought would taste nice but it’s just as rousing as anything else he does. 

“Darling,” He pulls away enough to rest his forehead on mine, reluctance in the action, “I’m not gonna be able to stop soon if we continue on like this,” His strong and large hands are gripping my hips tightly and some part of me hopes it’s tight enough to leave bruises. It makes me groan and I plant my hands on his shoulders, keeping eye contact as I roll my hips down into his just to watch his jade eyes darken dangerously, “Baby girl-“

“I know.” I breathe and suddenly he’s standing, hands under my thighs to hold me up as he carries me to the bedroom and drops me unceremoniously on his bed. I sink into it as he shut the door, before turning back to me with those sharp eyes raking over me. The sweatpants I put on have slipped down my hips even more to reveal my black cotton underwear and his eyes seem stuck there as he approaches. 

“Baby girl,” He whimpers as he falls to his knees in front of me, nudging my knees apart and calloused fingers ghosting over the waistband, eyes looking up at me for consent. I’m nodding, anxiety and lust pooling deep in my belly when he darts his tongue out to wet his bottom lips as he hooks those fingers under the waistband of my underwear and tugging. I lift my hips for him, suddenly feeling embarrassed when he throws the clothes to the side and turns his attention back to me. I’m trying to close my legs but his firm hands stop me so I cover my face with my hands, letting out a surprised sound when his lips ghost over my inner thighs. The light burn of his beard igniting a delicious fire within, letting out a whine as he then trails kisses up my other thigh until I’m trembling underneath his hands. 

His arms finally wrap around my thighs and he’s pulling me closer to the edge of the bed before he’s burying his face between my legs and drawing the dirtiest sound from me. He licks a stripe up my folds before diving straight in, tongue thrusting inside of me and it haas me crying out. The sudden pleasure has my body trying to wriggle away as I’m sensitive but Tommy’s grip on my thighs tightens even more. I’m not going to last long with the way his very talented muscle swirls around the even more sensitive nub and my back is arching into it and I’m muffling my moans with my hand. 

“No, Baby girl, I want to hear you.” 

Oh fuck. He’s going to kill. I’m going to die and go to heaven. I might already be there when two fingers thrust into me, the slight burn fading when they curl just right and I’m starting to see stars. The moans slipping past my lips would be embarrassing if he weren’t making me say prayers and have my back arching into the feeling of his sweet, sweet tongue and fingers. I never thought of Tommy as a possessive person but the way he devours me and draws unholy sounds from me has me second guessing it in the best way possible. 

My hand flies down to his hair, tangling my fingers in it and pulling, hard. He lets out the most delicious moan, eyes meeting mine as I raise onto my elbow and that pooling feeling begins to happen. 

“Tommy… oh fuck… Tom-“ 

“That’s it baby girl,” He mumbles, jade glazed with bliss and want, “Taste so fucking good. Want you to cum for me baby girl.” 

He thrusts his fingers faster as his mouth focuses on that nub of pure sensitivity. It only takes a few more well aimed thrust and the graze of his teeth before I’m crying out, falling back against the bed with my back arching into him and falling into pure bliss. I see white as he continues in his actions as I ride the high until I’m pushing him away because it’s all oversensitive. 

“Want you baby girl,” He mumbles, kissing up my chest as his fingers slip out. He’s wiping them on his jeans as if he isn’t going have to wear those later tonight at dinner, ‘Can I have you baby girl?”

“Please,” 

It comes out in a whine that has him moaning against my skin. He’s pulling away and his shirt and jeans join the ever growing pile of clothes, desperation in his movements. I’m copying him, throwing the shirt aside and unclasping my bra, sliding it down my arms until I’m laid out naked beneath him. My eyes slide down his firm body and my breath hitches as he’s girthy, curved upwards and head weeping as it twitches at the sight of me. He’s going to wreck me and I’m going to let him. 

“I’ve got you baby girl,” He mumbles, leaning over me to capture my lips in a sweet kiss. It changes the whole mood from rushed and needy to passionate and wanting. It has that throbbing feeling back between my legs in an instant, especially when the head rubs teasingly against my folds before he’s slowly guiding himself in with a soft whimper of “Fuck.”

He buries himself to the hilt, holding himself steady as his head falls onto my shoulder, stretching me deliciously. It fills my heart that he gives me time to adjust to the feeling and soon enough I’m rocking my hips against his, letting him know it’s okay. He pulls out, thrusting back in slowly as if savouring every drag and it has my eyes rolling into the back of my head. He’s so loving and passionate it makes me almost cum there and then, precisely when the hand not gripping my hip seeks my hand and he’s intertwining our fingers. He sounds so wrecked with every pant and moan but I want more. I love the passion but I want to be able to feel him later tonight so I bring my lips to his ear, panting, “Ruin me.” 

It’s like a switch flips and he’s sitting on his heels, drawing me up with him so I wrap my legs around his waist. He’s got one arm around my back while the other moves up to my hair, pulling it hard and yanking me into a hot and heavy kiss. His hips cant upwards into, this new angle hitting that sweet spot that has me seeing stars and dragging my body down with every thrust, capturing my cries and moans with filthy kisses that has the heat pooling and my stomach tightening as I’m teetering over the precipice of pleasure. 

"Shit, I’m so close baby girl," He pants against my lips, pulling my hips down roughly and that's all it seems to take for me to come undone. I'm squeezing around him so tightly I feel worry I'm hurting him and the edges of my vision whites out as I bite his shoulder and my whole body tightens around him. Tommy keeps pounding up into me to join me in release. 

I know he's there when he's gently laying me on my back again and his thrusts become sloppy before he's pressing himself as deep as he can, eyes fluttering shut and mouth open in a silent moan. My name repeatedly slips from his lips like a broken prayer as he rides out his own high. 

His eyes flutter open, searching my face before he’s capturing my kiss swollen lips in a gentle kiss, pouring emotions into and I’m doing the same. It feels like heaven and I never want to be away from him again. He’s pulling away too soon, leaving me empty and wanting more as he stands, “We should probably shower before be head to dinner.” There’s a cheeky grin that foretells his next words, “I’m sure we can find some interesting ways to make showering fun.” 

Oh he has me wrapped around his finger. 

[wearfinethingsalltoowell]

Quick TealOranges drabble that I’m dashing off before tomorrow renders it moot!

“I kissed someone.”

Olu couldn’t say he was expecting anything different. They’d been seperated for months after having sex once, it was natural to move on. But he had his best friend back, and that was what mattered.

And Archie was pretty cool. He was looking forward to meeting her properly.

He was appointed to go to the Pirate Queen to beg for the crew’s lives. Captain Bonnet was in no state.

And he wasn’t going to deny that poor man anything, circumstances being what they were. His problems seemed small compared to saving the people who killed the love of your life.

He liked Zheng—they had been fast friends when she masqueraded as a soup seller, and she had taken them in when they were in need. An pirate legend who had a soft spot for those…less skilled (looking at you, Stede). She reminded him of the Blackbeard they had met months ago, before…

He really only intended to talk to her, but when she admitted she was trying to seduce him, he wasn’t opposed. If it crossed his mind that he was evening the score with Jim, he only had to look at Blackbeard and Stede to reassure himself it was hardly the worst thing to do after a breakup.

And she was really, really pretty. He tried to keep his head on, to advocate for the crew, but no one could blame him for getting a bit distracted.

“Get your pants on, they’re escaping!!” Auntie burst in, startling Olu out of his thoughts.

Stood there in shock, all he could say was “I have my pants on.”

Zheng looked at him with fury, and he understood completely. This looked horrible. No one would ever believe he didn’t know.

He wondered if he should go after her, or if it would be pointless, when Jim dropped down from the ceiling.

“We have to go, now!!”

“Are you escaping?” Olu was a bit offended that the crew hadn’t waited to see if he could save them before running. Were they going to leave him?

“We’ll talk about it later!” Jim was frantic, motioning Olu over, but he stayed put. He cast a glance to the door, feeling a rush of guilt for what happened with Zheng.

“Olu!!” Jim called, and at the look in their eye, he followed them out. They were family, and he wasn’t about to let Jim lose any more family.

“Okay, what the fuck?” he asked, when they were safely back on the ship.

“Captain said we were retaking the Revenge, we did a little chloroform, made a makeshift rope, and..ta-da!” Jim punctuated their statement with a thumbs up.

“Did he not know I was negotiating? Was he gonna leave me there?”

“The whole plan was pretty spur of the moment. I feel for the guy, but I could’ve killed him when I asked where you were and he said he didn’t know. You would’ve been killed if you had stayed there!”

“It would probably have been fine,” Olu muttered, not sure how much of the story he should share.

“You’re too optimistic,” Jim sighed, “I wasn’t leaving without you!”

“Thank you,” Olu smiled at them, and Jim dove into his arms for a hug.

“Missed you.”

“I missed you too, you know that.” He wondered again if he should tell Jim about Zheng. This seemed like the perfect opening, and, as Jim had said, they were best friends who told each other things. But he couldn’t make himself do it. What happened would come out, probably in an embarrassing way, and he wanted to keep it to himself for a bit.

They went above deck to join the rest of the crew, sans Stede who had gone to say his goodbyes to Edward. Olu’s heart hurt for them—they were in love, it was plain as day to everyone who knew them. He didn’t understand Jim’s newfound sympathy for Izzy, the man so vile and hateable they were ready to kill him after one day as captain. He couldn’t help but eye him with continued suspicion—that day on deck, before everything had gone to shit, Edward had seemed, if not happy, then content. The marooning only happened after Izzy emerged from his cabin later that day—they might never know what happened, but Olu had known people like Izzy. He would never trust him.

Blackbeard’s half of the crew were settling back in nicely, Frenchie and Fang already having changed out of their Kraken-era garb. Jim kept theirs on—said they liked the style.

Olu took a seat next to the newly-returned Lucius, who had struck up a fast friendship with Archie.

Relief flashed over Lucius’ face when he saw Olu.

“Oh thank God, Olu! Though I wouldn’t have blamed you if you’d chosen to camp out on the Red Flag. Competent captain, you know?”

Seemed like he and Stede were still on the outs.

“Wait, you’re Olu?” Archie broke in, sticking out her hand for an introductory fist bump, “sorry, you’re just kind of a figure of legend on the ship. Jim told me all about you! You’re the smart one!”

“Hey!” Lucius scoffed.

“You’re smart too, bud. I just didn’t hear your name 20 times a day. If I had to hear the cake story one more time, I was going to kill them.”

A smile graced Olu’s face. It was better than her reaction to meeting Stede, from what he’d heard.

Frenchie walked over to him later that night, offering him the room back. Something about bad juju, again.

He didn’t argue, he could use a warm bed.

He curled up into his pillow, trying not to think about the day ahead. Their troubles were far from over, having made an enemy of the queen of Pirates.

When he was half asleep, he heard his door open, which wasn’t necessarily odd, but annoying. He didn’t want to get out of bed in the middle of the night for whatever trouble the crew got themselves in.

He waited for whoever had come in to announce themself, but it didn’t come. He heard near-silent footsteps and began to wonder if they were being invaded.

Instead, he felt the covers pulled back and the cold hit his bare skin, before another body jumped into the bed with him.

He relaxed a bit when he realized it was Jim, who was climbing on top of him and nuzzling their head in his neck.

“Made Frenchie give us the room back.” they announced.

As confused as he was, Olu laughed. Only Jim would bully poor Frenchie for a room that wasn’t even that big.

He could ask Jim what was going on in the morning. Right now, they were sleeping soundly for what was likely the first time in ages, and he didn’t plan to wake them.

[antivanruffles]

For the Valentine’s Day 💋 (y’all already know which pairing I’m gonna choose lol) so maybe we can get some Cassaric + 39 or 7! Whichever you want, I just love the way you write them 🥹💕

7. I know we're fighting but come here (swoons) 39. Shushing them in the middle of kissing to make them stop talking.

Eyyy, why not both? 😏

_________________________________

The whole thing had gotten so blown out of proportion. It had started with a disagreement that had evolved into an argument which then promptly devolved into a fight.  

Varric couldn't even remember what started it, exactly, only that it had turned into them both airing all the little things that had been annoying them recently until they were left feeling defensive and raw. And she'd only just gotten back from her most recent errand for the Seekers. It seemed a pity to waste all their energy on fighting about stupid shit. They could have a real talk about the shit bothering them later. Much later. 

He found her sulking in the library, which at least was better than the armory. Less access to sharp pointy things. She was nestled by the fire, with a ridiculously plush blanket thrown over her legs that Bran had probably procured for her at one point or another. A book lay open on her lap, but he could see her idly flipping through the pages which meant she wasn't actually reading it. The jut of her lip looked suspiciously like a pout which meant she was moping. 

It also meant he could defuse the situation. 

Varric approached cautiously because he was still likely the last person she wanted to see at the moment. 

"Seeker--"

"No, Varric. I am still mad at you. Go away." 

Her tone lacked any real heat, so Varric took that as a good sign. He stopped by the fireplace, a few feet from her. She was now dangerously close to full on pouting, and that meant she was tired. He was too, honestly. They'd spent the better part of an hour going round and round again before she'd finally stormed off. 

"I'm not here to fight, Cassandra. We can fight later if you really want to, but for now why don't we put aside the petty shit so I can welcome you home properly. Seeing as I never got the chance before."

She didn't acknowledge him, only went back to flipping through her book even through it was obvious she wasn't reading it. Or she had learned to read at the speed of light. Which, he wouldn't put past her, but still. Since she hadn't told him to leave again he decided to press his luck. He crept closer to her, soft footed and slow. 

He stopped beside the chair, waited for just a moment, and then reached out to take her hand in his. "I know we're fighting, but I am glad you're back." Varric lifted her hand up and pressed a warm kiss to the inside of her wrist. 

"You are not winning me over that easily, dwarf." She narrowed her eyes in warning, and amusement. 

"But I can win you over?" He grinned. 

"I did not say that!" 

"Didn't have to." Varric bent his head slightly and hid his laugh against her skin. Then he looked up to meet her gaze again, and noted that her eyes were far lighter than they had been. "Just, c'mere?" 

He tugged gently on her hand to get her to lean forward. She gave in and sat up, letting herself be pulled toward him until their faces were inches apart. Varric cupped her cheek and placed a soft kiss against her lips. He might have said she hummed in appreciation at the contact, but he wasn't going to push his luck and mention it. 

"Hi, welcome back," he said instead. 

"Hi," she whispered. Her eyes were as soft as her smile, but then she seemed to remember herself and frowned at him. "Do not think this means I have forgotten our--"

"Yeah, yeah, you can yell at me tomorrow." He slid his hand from her cheek to the back of her neck and tugged her forward in order to kiss her fully. And to effectively shut her up. "For now," he said between kisses, "just let me show you how much I've missed you." 

[lucy90712]

Jorge Martin- Be mine forever

A/n: this is going to be the start of a mini series where there will be two parts for proposals, weddings and honeymoons so hope you guys enjoy 

Jorge's POV

Here we are yet another weekend where y/n can't make it to the race and god do I miss her so much this race had been a double header so I haven't been home in between and its killing me. Y/n couldn't make it to the first race because she had work but she said she would try and come this weekend but things just didn't work out as they really rely on her at her job so it makes it hard for her to get away. In fact she's only been to 3 races so far this season with all of them being in driving distance of where we live which has been hard on us both because I'm away so often that we don't spend a lot of time together but I know she desperately wants to come to more races its just she can't get away from work. I know she feels awful about it because she is always apologising even though it's not her fault and I don't mind that much I just want her to be here because I miss her every weekend she's not around. 

It's Saturday evening after qualifying and everything is done and technically I'm with my friends but I keep checking the time waiting for it to be the time that y/n will be home so I can FaceTime her and see her face. They must have noticed I was distracted because suddenly the room went silent and Jack waved his hand in front of my face which brought me back to the real world. Once I was back in the room they continued talking but I still wasn't paying too much attention as I was still thinking about y/n and what she might have done today or how ecstatic she's going to be that I got pole position as she always knows whats happening on track even if shes not watching. Finally it got to about the time y/n would be getting home so I waited for the current conversation to end before I tried to excuse myself. 

"Guys I'm gonna go y/n should be home soon" I said knowing they'd understand 

"You really miss her don't you?" Pecco questioned

"Yeah its hard not having her here I feel like I can't celebrate properly because the one person I want to share it with isn't here" I replied 

"Wow man thats real love" Jack said 

"She's the one I want to spend my life with oh my I want to marry that girl" I said while realising it for myself 

No more words left my mouth I just ran out the room and to my motorhome to gather all the millions of thoughts going through my mind. For a long time I've thought about marrying y/n but never seriously even though I love her so much it just seemed like something for the future. However talking about how much I wish she was here made me realise that I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with her like she is my future thats for certain and of course I would love to still be racing in years to come but if I'm not as long as I have y/n I'll be ok. In that moment it seemed obvious that I need to get myself together and actually propose to her as nerve wracking as that seems I know it will be the right move and a good next step for us to take.

When I picked up my phone to call y/n there was a a much bigger smile on my face than usual which she picked up on right away but I lied and said it was because of the pole position which seemed to satisfy her as she went on to talk about how proud she was of me. I tried to ask her about her day but she answered all my questions in just a few words before moving on to talking about the race tomorrow which she said she would be watching while working from home. The whole time we were talking all I was thinking about was marrying her and spending the rest of our lives together. The thought of getting to see her smile first thing in the morning and cuddling last thing at night for the rest of our lives was like a dream to think about but hopefully I can make that a reality. Y/n knew that my thoughts were elsewhere I could just tell but she definitely doesn't know what I am thinking about or at least I hope she doesn't because when it happens I want it to be a complete surprise although I don't have the best track record of keeping secrets from her but this one will be worth it.

~~~~~~~~~~

It's been a few weeks of being at home with y/n which has been the best thing ever and I have a new spring in my step for this next race not only because I'm excited to be back racing but also because I have other plans this weekend. Seeing as y/n isn't going to be here I'm going to use the opportunity to go out and buy an engagement ring. Since I first thought about proposing it hasn't left my mind and secretly I've been looking at rings online to try and find some that would be perfect for y/n but so far none of them seem right but this weekend I'm determined to find something special that will be perfect for y/n. I have also stolen one of y/n rings that's she sometimes wears on the correct finger on her right hand so that I can get the size right but she did ask me if I'd seen the ring before I left so I need to do this quickly before she gets suspicious.

Now that I'm done for the day I've roped some friends into going with me to a list of jewellers I gathered from looking at Google, I was going to go alone but when I mentioned it they wanted to come along and I thought it was best to have a second opinion so that I don't get carried away. They met me outside my motorhome and we got a car to the nearest town where we could walk to all the places I had looked up but that's when I got nervous because this is a big deal to pick an engagement ring. I mean what if find something I think is perfect and she hates it or what if she says no and then I have a ring that hold nothing but bad memories. We have talked about getting married before but it was when we had not long started dating and at the time we both said we wanted to get married in the future but is now the right time for her or will she have changed her mind completely. Despite trying to stop myself thinking about that it didn't work and all that was going through my mind was scenarios of everything going wrong. 

"There's no need to be so nervous dude I'm sure she'll love whatever you pick because it's from you" Fabio reassured me clearly noticing that I was stressing about everything 

"That's the least of my worries what if she says no?" I questioned 

"You definitely don't need to be worried about that we can see the way she looks at you and I'm sure the other guys agree there is no way she will say no" Fabio said as the other guys agreed 

"Thanks guys that helps but for the record I'm still nervous" I joked 

They all shook their heads as we arrived at our destination and got out the car to head into the first jewellery shop, from the outside the place looked small but when you went in it was packed with display cases filled with all sorts of sparkling jewellery. An older lady greeted us when we came in the door and asked what we were looking for and when I told her she led me to the back of the place to a large display case with a load of beautiful rings in and then she showed me another smaller one with more rings in it. That's when I saw one that just stood out to me it was a gold ring with a string a 3 tiny diamonds leading to a slightly bigger one but it wasn't too big. It was so delicate but classy at the same time and it wasn't too flashy which is what I've been looking for as y/n doesn't like to stand out so any jewellery with big stones on it isn't her style at all. 

As much as that ring stood out I wanted to make sure what I picked was perfect so we left and went to all the other jewellers I had found but all of them just had rings with bigger and bigger diamonds on them and even the ones that didn't just didn't seem right. The whole time I was looking at the other ring I was comparing them to the first one which is how I decided it was the perfect ring for y/n, I knew that when I found the one it would stand out and it really did that ring was like no others I've seen anywhere which makes it even more special. By this point the guys were bored but I made them go back to the first jewellers with me as they didn't get to see the ring and I wanted their opinion before I committed to it even though I'm pretty much 100% sure it's the right one. We went back and the lady said hello to us again as I went right back to the small display case that held the ring and showed the guys eagerly awaiting their opinion, luckily they all thought it was y/n's style which settled it. 

Before I could ask the lady running the place for her help she came over clearly able to read my mind, she asked if I knew what size I needed the ring so I grabbed y/n's ring out my pocket and gave it to her so she used it to get the right size before going into the back of the shop and coming back with a little black box and showed me the ring inside which made a smile spread across my face just looking at it. The lady explained that the ring was one that had been ordered over a year ago but never picked up but it was the exact same size as y/n's ring and the lady kept it the whole time as she was sure it would sell at some point which happens to be today. That made it really feel like the right decision it was like everything had fallen into place perfectly which is what I was looking for when picking a ring it needed to be perfect and this one really is. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Your POV

Holidays are supposed to be a time to relax and now that it's Jorge's off season I was excited to take some time off work and spend time with him after not seeing him much for a good part of the year but he just seems off. The whole time we've been away he's just not been himself it's like there is something bothering him but he hasn't brought it up so I'm not going to ask him about it as he always shares things with me so he's clearly just not ready to talk about whatever it is yet so there's no point pushing him. I would be lying if I said I wasn't at least a little worried about him though because I've never seen him act like this in the whole time we've been together and a small part of brain can't help but worry that maybe he's fallen out of love with me when I'm more in love with him than ever. For the last few months I've fallen more and more in love with Jorge every time I see him and I've even been thinking about wanting to spend the rest of my life with him so if he really is falling out of love that would be devastating. Loving someone has always been hard for me but it didn't take long for me to feel that way with Jorge which is how I knew he was the one for me but that feeling has really intensified over the last year to the point that I don't think I could ever love someone as much as I love him. 

This morning I woke up to an empty bed which right away made my heart sink but before I could get too carried away Jorge opened the door to the bedroom and gave me the first genuine smile I've seen from him the whole time we've been away. Right away he crawled on top of me and showered my face in kisses which brought a blush to my cheeks and butterflies to my stomach which he still manages to do despite us having been together a few years now. Once he was done he rolled back off me and slid his arms under my back which he used to pick me up and place me over his shoulder making sure I was ok before moving his arms further down my body and gripping on tightly as he walked into the living area of the beach house were were staying at. He carried me until we got to the sofa where I thought he would gently let me down but no he leaned over and just let me fall which didn't hurt because the sofa is soft but it did take me by surprise. 

He made me stay sat down as he went to make finish the breakfast he had started making so I took the opportunity to look out the back door out at the beautiful view from the beach house. The sun was still rising to its position in the sky but the sky was still a beautiful blue colour and there was hardly any clouds in the sky. Through the balcony you could see the water which was quite far out but the there were still small waves gently splashing against the shore in a calming rhythm. Jorge soon took me out of my daydream when he came in with a breakfast of waffles for us both which I gladly took from him and tucked in to as he sat down next to me joining me in looking outside at the view. Once we finished eating he took the plates and put them in the sink for us to deal with later before coming back and pulling me up so we could change into swimsuits and go and sit out on the beach like we have done every other day we've been here. I stupidly decided to wear a bikini that required tying around the back where I couldn't reach so I had to wait for Jorge to be ready so I could get him to do it. 

"Baby can you tie this for me please my arms are too short" I said when he came out the bathroom 

"Of course love turn around" he instructed 

"This bikini looks stunning on you" he complimented when he was done and I turned around 

"Thank you you look pretty good yourself" I replied running my hands down his chest and stomach gently making him blush 

I kept teasing him a little bit before he decided he wasn't going to take it anymore and pushed me down on the bed and started tickling my sides where I'm the most ticklish which got rid of the smirk I had on my face within a second and instead left me laughing while begging him to stop because I was running out of breath. It took a few minutes for him to stop but eventually he did and he let me catch my breath before leaning down and kissing my lips gently and then pulling away to offer me a hand to help me up which I took and kept hold of as we walked out the back to the beach. The beach was relatively empty because only the set of beach 10 or so houses have access to it so there is never many people which is exactly what we both like because we spend a lot of time surrounded by people so it's nice to get away. Me and Jorge set up our towels and other things in front of our beach house and as far away from everyone else as possible. 

We laid under the sun together for a while with me laying on my stomach reading a book and Jorge doing the same but with his arm around me and watching me read even though he definitely has no idea what's going on. After I finished a chapter he asked me what was going on in the book so I explained the storyline which he listened to and then started reading with me when I started the next chapter. We read together and when it got to a good part of the story he audibly gasped which made me laugh as he talked to me about what just happened as if I wasn't also reading the same thing as him but we talked about it nonetheless before going back to reading. I closed the book at the end of the next chapter which he was disappointed about but when I got up to drag him to the water he cheered up very quickly. 

When we got the the water he pulled me in behind him until we got far enough out that my feet couldn't reach the floor any longer which is when he grabbed hold of my waist and spun me round as he pulled me to his chest. He just stared into my eyes for a while before kissing my nose and letting go of me so we could actually swim around which we did and it was super relaxing as the water super warm from the sun and the waves were only small so it made swimming a lot easier. At one point I stopped swimming and saw Jorge laying on his back floating looking very relaxed and the mischievous part of my brain took over so I quietly swam over and splashed him taking him completely by surprise and making myself laugh. He quickly got me back by trying to push me under the water but I saw it coming and pulled him down with me which meant when we came up we were both laughing at each other like idiots. 

After spending most of the day out in the sun we went back inside and Jorge told me to get ready to go out for dinner which of course I did because we haven't been out together in a long time as we are often too tired to go out anywhere. Luckily I brought a few nice dresses with me incase we went out so I looked through them and decided to wear a black dress with long off the shoulder mesh sleeves which I haven't actually had the chance to wear out yet but I thought it looked pretty good when I brought it. I got ready quickly doing simple makeup and leaving my hair pretty natural just touching up a few bits to make it look neater before putting on my dress and checking myself out in the mirror before I left the bathroom to find Jorge. He was waiting for me in the living area looking at his phone so I called him name to let him know I was ready which made him turn around and I watched his jaw drop as he looked at me which made me blush knowing he thought I looked good. 

"Take a picture it will last longer" I joked walking toward the door to grab my shoes 

"Sorry babe but I can't help but stare when you look so stunning" he admitted 

"Why thank you you look nice too" I said 

No more words were said he just grabbed my hand and we walked to the nearest restaurant which was only about a 5 minute walk. The place wasn't busy so when we got our table there wasn't really anyone else about which made it easy for us to talk to each other during our meal. While we were eating I noticed Jorge get nervous again and I could tell he was nervous because he was fidgeting a lot which is what he usually does when he's nervous for a race. It was kind of sad to see him go back to the way he's been acting because I really enjoyed today with the normal happy Jorge not the one that doesn't say a lot and doesn't want to be as affectionate as he usually is. 

Once we finished dinner he took me down onto the beach to walk along the sand enjoying the last of the sun before it disappeared over the horizon leaving the sky to grow darker and darker the longer we walked for but there was still light from the stars and moon shining in the sky. It was actually really romantic it's just a shame that Jorge had gone back to thinking about other things leaving me feeling like it was just me living this moment by myself. As we walked along I felt Jorge's hand slip out of mine which I ignored for a moment but when I couldn't feel his presence I turned round to see what was going on, I did not at all expect to see him down on one knee holding a box containing a ring. He reached out and grabbed my hand with his spare one looking up at me and suddenly everything made sense and I understood what has been going through his mind all week.

"Y/n I've never felt happier than when I'm with you and it made me realise that there isn't a single other person I'd want to spend the rest of my life with so will you make me even happier and marry me?" He asked 

"Y-yes" I managed to stutter out while holding back tears of pure joy 

He slipped the ring on my finger and stood up placing his hands either side of my face and kissing me sweetly. When we pulled away he rested his forehead against mine for a moment before properly pulling away and taking my hand so we could walk back home. It was only when we got inside and I looked at the beautiful ring in my finger that it really sunk in that we were engaged and I would be spending the rest of my life with Jorge just like I've been thinking about doing for the past year. In that moment nothing would have taken the smile off my face I was just that happy to be engaged to the love of my life.

[solarsystementertainment]

Irregular Debut

 Prompt: hey can i have one when daeun is on her periods and joey comforts/takes care of her? 

Daeun had been feeling sick the past couple of days. She was fairly certain she had caught some kind of stomach bug that was just presenting really weirdly. The symptoms she’s had thus far are nausea, headache, stomach pains, and change in appetite. The only thing that was confusing her was the lack of fever. She was currently on day five of feeling like shit and the others, mostly her unnies, had talked her into taking the day off to rest yesterday.

Even though she had stayed home to rest yesterday, Daeun still didn’t feel good. The only issue was that today was the group’s debut day, so she couldn’t sit out. She didn’t have a fever, and she didn’t have any other symptoms that would warrant delaying their debut or sitting it out. She walked out of her room ready to debut while feeling miserable.

When she entered the living room, Daeun was met with her members, who all had hard to discern expressions on their faces. “What’s going on?” She asked as she sat down, not being able to hide the wince as her abdomen began hurting again. Jihye stood up and raised the blinds, revealing that a fairly significant amount of snow had fallen overnight.

“All the roads are closed until they get properly cleared. Our debut has been delayed until tomorrow.” Haneul said this then sighed as Jihye screamed something about a snow fort and ran out of the room. She came back a couple minutes later fully decked out in snow pants, boots, a coat, thin gloves, and a hat. She grinned somewhat mischievously before running out of the dorm.

“Unnie has the right idea. If we can’t even go to the company today, we might as well have some fun.” Nari stood up and grabbed her coat. Haneul soon followed. “JJ and Daeun unnie, you should come out and play too.” Nari said.

Joey shook their head in response. “I’m going to stay here. I might go out later, but I think Daeun still isn’t feeling well. I’m going to keep her company.” Joey, Haneul, and Nari all looked over to Daeun, who quietly confirmed that she still wasn’t feeling good. Haneul and Nari nodded before going outside to join Jihye.

JJ moved closer to Daeun, mild concern etched onto their face. "Do you think you want to see a doctor? You've been feeling sick all week." 

Daeun shook her head. While she was feeling sick, she didn't think warranted a trip to the doctor. Besides with roads closed, she wouldn't be able to go in until tomorrow. Daeun's stomach growled just then, signifying that she's hungry. She stood up to go to the kitchen, only to feel JJ tug on her shirt. "What is it?" Daeun unintentionally sounded a bit annoyed and was quick to apologize.

"I don't think you're going to need a doctor Daeunnie." Daeun looked confused and Joey disappeared to the bathroom and returned with a pad. They handed it to Daeun before walking to the kitchen. "I'll make breakfast, you should change your clothes.”

Daeun was a bit confused as she went to the bathroom with the pad Joey handed her. As she undressed, she saw a decent size blood stain on her pajama pants. She swore under her breath as she threw her clothes into the laundry hamper and began to run a shower. When she finished her shower, Daeun saw that Joey had placed some new clothes on the bathroom counter for her. She sighed as she got dressed.

Daeun walked into the common area and saw that Joey had made omelettes. She thanked JJ before sitting down and beginning to eat. “You know,” Joey began. “If you had told us that you were feeling sick because your period was coming, we wouldn’t have been so pressed on making you take the day off yesterday.” 

Daeun shook her head in response until she swallowed down the mouthful of food she was chewing. “I didn’t know my period was coming. Thanks for the change of clothes by the way unnie.” This time Joey looked confused.

“What do you mean you didn’t know your period was coming? Don't you keep track of it?” Daeun once again shook her head.

“I’ve always had very irregular cycles. I think my last period was like three months ago and the one before that was like back in January or something. It’s fine, besides, it means that I’m not actually sick." Just then Daeun was overcome with a cramp and winced as she placed a hand on her abdomen. In response, Joey got up and went to the group’s medicine cabinet, grabbing the bottle of tylenol. They placed it in front of Daeun then went back to eating their food.

After breakfast, the duo moved back to the living room. Although Joey made a detour to their room first to grab something. Daeun had turned on the tv. She decided to turn on Netflix and pulled up the drama Beauty Inside. She was a few minutes into the first episode when JJ returned carrying two hot water bottles. Joey had Daeun sit up and they placed one water bottle behind her back then gave the other one for her front.

“I promise that the heat will make you feel much better when it’s on both your stomach and back.” Daun nodded and seemed to deflate a little bit in relief as the heat immediately began to help with the pain. “So, what’re you watching?” Joey asked as they sat in a nearby chair. Daeun explained what little of the drama had currently played.

Over the course of the next few hours, Joey continued to care for Daeun. Which mainly meant making her tea and keeping her company. It had also become apparent that Daeun didn’t actually know a whole lot about how period’s worked, because she kept asking Joey questions. Of course Joey answered to the best of their ability, occasionally having to look up a word or two because they didn’t know the word for it in Korean.

When Joeoy decided it was time to make lunch, Daeun was feeling much better. She had decided to help with making lunch, and even ran outside to bring the others in for the meal. They were all glad to hear that the second youngest was feeling a bit better, and even more glad to know what exactly was wrong. Apparently the three women that had gone outside had spent the last few hours working on a snow fort and now that Daeun knew she wasn’t sick, Jihye and Nari couldn’t help but ask Joey and Daeun to join them outside after eating to continue building. The duo quickly agreed, and the group ate their lunch.

The group spent the entirety of the afternoon working on the snow fort. Haneul made sure to take some pictures with her phone to post on SNS later so Anti-Venom would be able to see how they spent what was supposed to be their debut day. Joey, who was actually a bit of an ecology nerd, had spent about an hour by themselves making something in the snow. When Jihye had approached them to see what they were doing, she saw that Joey was making miniature sculptures of each members’ representative animals. She was quick to call the leader over to take pictures of that as well.

The following day, the group had their actual debut Joey had been checking in periodically with Daeun to make sure she was feeling okay. They also made sure to bring pain meds and a heating pad so that Daeun would hopefully not be in too much pain as they waited in the waiting room to go up on stage.

[causenessus]

MY LOVLINESS <33333333333333 HELLO HELLO good morning evening or afternoon!! i hope you’ve eaten today(MAKE SURE YOU EAT) and i hope your day has been good!! i’m always manifesting a good day for you because you deserve it !! amongst other good good things <3333333333 I MISSED YOU SO MUCH LIKE my whole day i was like I NEED TO REMEMBER TO SHARE THIS WITH NESS like you’re always on my mind like that <33333 right now i’m eating instant pho(which is so funny because my mom is making pho rn but it won’t be ready until tomorrow sooooo…)(SUBSTITUTE!!) ALSO LITERALLY MICROSLEEPING AND WAKING UP IS SO FUNNY BECAUSE LIKE!! one moment it’s 7pm then it’s 7:15 THEN ITS LIKE 9PM AND IM LIKE WHAT?? literally when i woke up this morning my phone was on 30% and i had like keyboard spammed a bit in my response like i did NOT remember passing out so it was so so funny LOL

WE DEFINITELY WORKED IN PARALLELS BECAUSE TODAY AT WORK IT WAS ACTUALLY A GOOD DAY!! which meant you were there in spirit making my work day better <333333333333 my brother came to work and he gave me some snacks which i very much needed and appreciated and i had my favourite manger on duty too! and it felt like such a short and fast day because it was like kind of busy(everyone was back to school shopping so a lot of kids and parents!!) BUT the like thing i was bothered by was how many CRYING KIDS THERE WERE like i don’t know what was in the air but every kid was crying in the store i kid you not!! i wanted to pull my hair out JUST a little bit but overall it was still an okay work day!! and since it’s sunday and we close early IT MADE IT A LITTLE BETTER!! like coming outside and the sky still being bright is always a win! ALSO I GET WHAT YOU MEAN BY THE BREATHING THING DONT WORRY!! like being on autopilots is so weird like especially at work but sometimes it’s scary because ill be doing things so fast and then when i mess up i kind of pause and im like… what… what was i doing??? LMAO IDK IF THATS UNIVERSAL OR IF THATS JUST ME BUT!! literally my brain is just static tv and i’m just MOVING until someone is like “mango anon!” and i’m like OH HI?? like i love out of body experiences idk i think they’re funny LOL ALSO UR COWORKER SEEING YOU GROW UP IS SO CUTE <33333333333 like a lot of my coworkers are moms so they’re all very motherly and lovely it’s so endearing like i love my coworkers so much so i really don’t want to quit but like I NEED TO THINK OF MYSELF !! i have until wednesday i think to decide because then the new work schedule comes out right but THATS SO SOON SO IDK!! IDK IM SCARED!! but i will 100% update you on that if i do decide to quit or i might just take a break and come back during winter time so i can help out but WE’LL SEE! i’ll definitely talk to my manager about it though!!

YES THE GOODBYE MESSAGE LIKE I WISH I COULD SEND IT(i mean i could but it’s basically what you said! like here’s the intro ill copy and paste it)

“Hi team, good morning. I’m pretty sure by now. You might have heard the news that I have decided to resign my position as your store manager. I am sorry that I didn’t have a chance to say bye to many of you. YAP YAP YAP YAP”

(by the way we did NOT HEAR THE NEWS LIKE THIS WAS NEWS FOR EVERYONE!!)

like it just came out of nowhere and i was literally like OH OKAY!! because this was when i was literally thinking of quitting THEN SHE SENDS THAT AND IM LIKE oh!!! oohhhhh!! okay! AND PLS YOUR SISTERS BF SENDING YOU THAT MESSAGE??? LIKE ITS KIND OF ENDEARING THAT HE DID BUT the fact that you heard it from HER BF before HER was actually crazy like RANDOM BIG NEWS OUT OF NOWHERE IS SO FUNNY BECAUSE IM ALWAYS LIKE …. what happened to hello!.. how are you!.. how’s you day! like nope right to the case like if my brothers girlfriend ever sent me that i think i would literally like have a disconnected moment like i would just STARE at the message before properly processing it like…. wdym… WDYM?? WHY IS MY BROTHER RADIO SILENT RN???

OH MY GOD COLD KISSES MENTION??? I LOVE LOVE LOVED COLD KISSES SO MUCH I LOVE KENMA I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVEE AHHH cold kisses was so great like ALSO I DIDNT KNOW YOU WROTE BINARY STARS?? like i didn’t see it on your page until you brought it up again just recently and i was like WHAT!! so you bet i will 100% read it when i have the time because i literally love your writing so much like i wanna eat it and absorb it into my soul because reading it isn’t enough, i need to FULLY absorb it into me!! AND UR SO RIGHT!! i don’t blame him for totally being distracted by your smaus because me too! sometimes i’ll be sitting down then i remember a certain part of one of your smaus and i go back and read it LOL like LOVE NOTES<3333333333333 LOVE NOTES I MISS U <33333333333333333333 ALSO PLS FIGHT HIM OR TELL HIM TO GET OFF MY BACK!!! i unfortunately can not do 20 things at once as much as i wish to!! like i couldn’t even argue back when he was like “wait you aren’t done your main task?” like i was trying to be polite so i was literally like “no im sorry i’ve been busy doing the other stuff” and he was literally like “make sure you finish before you clock out!” LIKE REALLY??? REALLY???? OH NO I WAS JUST PLANNING ON NOT DOING MY JOB!!! like i wanted to scream because im just a girl and maybe stop making me do your side missions!! also i find it so cute how we’re starting to share words or kind of text mannerisms?(if that makes sense) LIKE WE ARE LITERALLY ONE NESS!! WE ARE ONE!!! SOULMATES FOREVER I TELL YOU !!!!

also the way i can totally imagine your manager LOL WITH THE HAIRCUT AND THE CAR WITH THE DUCKS?? AND YES I REMEMBER THE BLACK CORAL THING THAT WAS CRAZY! your manager sounds so unserious like WDYM A POUND OF COCAINE?? like he’s so silly i agree we should have more silly managers like i have my male manager, a silly manager, my fav manager aka the girl manager i was talking about AND THE STORE MANAGER THAT JUST QUIT(still literally FLABBERGASTED BY THIS) ALSO UR CLOSING LIKE UMM PROCEDURES(?)ARE SO DIFFERENT FROM MINE! because we literally just all clean together like there’s not really a department separation? but we do have like a home section but everyone kind of like does their own thing right like the manager will send some people to one section of the store and other sections and stuff like that but overall we all kind of close together if that makes sense??? ALSO YOU SWEEPING THE ENTIRE STORE??? absolutely NO WAY like i was paid to stand here and help little customers NOT SWEEP THE WHOLE STORE?? me personally i would’ve helped you because there’s no way LIKE IDK WE HAVE CLEANERS TO DO THAT AT MY STORE BUT THATS STILL CRAZY! like wdym sweep the ENTIRE STORE?? BY MYSELF??? like i would cry but i hope you were okay! also not being able to take your 15 i would RIOT and i would give myself an extra 15 minute break on my next shift because there’s no way… and to the manager that yelled at you for being on your phone I WILL BITE U !!! NOT LOVINGLY I WILL BARK BARK BARK LIKE HOW DARE SHE?? the nerve after MAKING YOU MISS YOUR BREAK AND SWEEP THE WHOLE STORE?? i’m absolutely FUMING FOR YOU RIGHT NOW!!(also i did find it funny but funny in a way where i’m like THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED?? LIKE THATS CRAZY) if i ever had to miss my break like that i would literally make it EVERYONES problem like i will be a total maniac about it like “ugh i couldn’t take MY 15 MINUTE BREAK” (like its just 15 min but 15 MINUTES IS 15 MINUTES OF MUCH NEEDED ME TIME!!!)

ALSO PLS I DO NOT WISH CLOTHING RETAIL ON U!! like i’m not saying it’s terrible but i feel like clothing retail workers get disrespected A LOT and like customers are not very mindful and I DONT WISH THAT ON U!! U DESERVE NOTHING BUT THE BEST!! also that manager that made you cry??? i hope he knows i’ve casted a hex on him and that he will not know peace…. i will personally make sure he doesn’t know peace …… i’m coming out for him(not lovingly) and not the compromise LMAOOO like no it’s not a scheduling problem it’s a HIM problem !! also i think i will just like write a letter like hey sorry im quitting because i can’t prioritize work anymore and YAP YAP YAP ty for teaching me how to do clothing stuff and YAP YAP YAP AND UR SO RIGHT!! god knew we’d be too powerful together so he put us in different countries because otherwise?? WE COULD BUILD HOUSES!! RUN A RESTAURANT BY OURSELVES!! TAKE OVER THE WORLD EVEN!! anything is possible with u LIKE WE’D BE TOO POWERFUL!!

WE ARE DIFFERENT TWO PEAS IN A POD BECAUSE WHENEVER YOURE LIKE “i’m sorry idk if that made sense” i’m always like IT DOES!! I GET YOU!! U DONT HAVE TO WORRY!! like we are on the same wavelength we are one in two we are soulmates twin flames lovers and everything in between

NESS UR LITERALLY THE SWEEST LIKE IDK IT FEELS SO ENDEARING THAT YOU THINK OF ME LIKE TELL ME WHY IM KICKING MY FEET AND GIGGLING RN !! i love hearing work drama because it’s so crazy like i have so many old work stories that i swear they sound fake BUT ITS REAL LIKE literally the most random things happen at work and maybe that’s why i like staying like maybe i need that extra drama in my life you know!! AND STOP NESS STOP STOP YOU SAVING YOUR DAY FOR ME?? FOR ME HHHH AHHHHHH i’m gonna give you a big fat kiss like i’m AHHHHH IM SO SOFT AND SQUISHY RN!! you’re making me smile like if people see me smiling at my phone like no it’s not a MAN it’s NESS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE MY EVERYTHING!!! ness i love you like my life is yours i genuinely like every words of endearment will be dedicated to you for the rest of my life like i would catch a grenade bruno mars style for you like STOP IM SORRY I CANT GET OVER THIS AHHH ur so sweet i will bite ur cheek lovingly and give you my heart and soul and body and mind and anything you want <333333333333 just say the word and ill do it for you <3333333333333333 also i will keep in mind the requests thing because that’s so cute like i’m IM SO SQUISHY RN I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AHHH AHHHHHHHHH

ALSO UR RIGHT MEN DONT DESERVE MY POLITENESS!! like i lost my customer service voice a LONG time ago because i can not deal with these customers anymore!! because some of them just don’t deserve it like im not gonna gentle parent you and be like “no sir! i’m sorry that the government made you pay for bags but that’s not my fault! would you like to express how you’re feeling and we can talk it out?” LIKE NO I DO NOT CARE LIKE IM SORRY OUR BAGS ARS 50 CENTS BUT THATS LIFE BUDDY!!! NOT MY FAULT!! like he’s acting like i was sitting with the damn president and making that decision with him like he’s acting like i was like “yes mister president we should get rid of plastic bags and make the customers pay for reusable bags” LIKE IM SORRY MAN I WAS NOT THERE !! u think i like asking you to pay 50 cents for a bag? NO!! but i don’t want to lose my job unfortunately!! but i think i will be quitting which is very bittersweet and sad but we’ll see!! maybe ill try out just working 9-5 every saturday and see how it goes… BUT WHO KNOWS!! my managers are silly so maybe they’ll say yes or no but ill update you on that!!

also omg the cinnamon almond butter i found online is $20 SHIPPING FEE??? AND THE JAR ITSELF IS $17 LIKE THATS CRAZY! the jar itself costs more than what i make in an hour and you want me to pay $20??? FOR SHIPPING?? at this point i will make it myself OR I WILL MEET NESS AND SHARE THE CINNAMON ALMOND BUTTER WITH BAGELS <3333333 we can eat it together like a cute little picnic and talk about how terrible work is <3333333333333333333

ALSO I DECIDED I WILL MAKE A BURNER ACCOUNT FOR YOU !! just because my account right now is so messy like i’ve reblogged a bunch of things from like old fandoms so you’ll scroll and you’ll see like gravity falls, fnaf, fairy tail like LOL A BUNCH OF MESSY THINGS but also just so you have a way to reach out to me and like also i miss you a bunch throughout the day so maybe ill just be like “missing u hours !!!” and also if you ever wanna tell me anything somewhat personal(like the bday thing WHICH IM SO SO SO SO SORRY ABOUT LIKE I GENUINELY CANT EVEN EXPRESS HOW SORRY I AM FOR BRINGING IT UP but ill expand on this more later)(AGAIN IM SO SO SORRY LIKE I FELT SO BAD AND I HHHHH) then ill be there!! BUT I LOVE OUR DYNAMIC TOO LIKE this is literally me sending you LOVE NOTES everyday!!

OMG SCORPIOS AND CANCERS ARE COMPATIBLE?? STOP IT BECAUSE WE ARE LITERALLY MEANT TO BE NESS LIKE EVEN THE STARS SAY SO!! also ness im so sorry like im genuinely so sorry for bringing it up I HAD NO IDEA HHHH I DIDNT THINK ABOUT IT AND IM SO SORRY LIKE I DONT THINK YOURE A LIAR AND YOUR REASONING MAKES TOTAL SENSE but i’m still so sorry like oh my god i felt so bad when i read that like im gonna send you a bit birthday cake and presents right now :((( and a big sorry cake like I FEEL SO BAD AND IK YOULL TELL ME NOT TO FEEL BAD AND TO NOT FEEL GUILTY BUT I DO IM SORRY(if i ever bring up something you’re uncomfortable with please please please don’t feel obligated to answer like i will not mind!! id rather you be comfortable than feel like you have to admit something you don’t want to)(you’re my number one priority so please please don’t ever feel forced to say things!!)it definitely wasn’t upsetting to find out i’m so sorry i was just more concerned that i missed your birthday and i didn’t say happy birthday </3333 i literally love love love you so much please don’t say sorry </3 you’re okay!! i’ll literally give you the biggest hug ever im so sorry and everything is okay you’re okay and you’re doing fine!! <33333333333333333333333

AND OMG I KNEW THE SUNA AND ATSUMU LOSER THING WAS YOU!! i’ve been your guardian angel since day one <3333333 your guard dog and everything! i remember seeing it and i was like if 2020 haikyuu fandom finds this they would grill this poor girl so im going to send in something to make sure she knows i have her back!! ONE MAN ARMY I TELL YOU!! i will literally stand in the frontlines for you and protect you against the suna smoking headcanon-ers(?) like I HAVE YOUR BACK FOREVER AND ALWAYS!! i remember also i kept checking your blog to make sure no one was sending in hate like i was on GUARD because i was like i will literally defend this girl with my life if i see her starting to get hate (i loved you from day one it was love at first sight) AND I WILL PROTECT YOU IN PHAS SO DONT WORRY!! you can stay in the van and watch the cameras while i set everything up!! you can just sit and look pretty and ill enter in the house for you <33333333333

YES THE RANDOM INTERMISSIONS ILL DO THAT NOW TO REMIND YOU TO DRINK WATER !! MYSELF INCLUDED!! because sometimes i forget to drink water since like i don’t get thirsty sometimes but i realize that i haven’t drank that much water… SO ALWAYS REMEMBER TO DRINK WATER!!!

ness im literally on a plane rn flying to the states for you like I WILL BE YOUR SOUND PERSON!! your director sounds kind of mean i hope you don’t have that same stress and everything goes smooth sailing for you </33333 unfortunately idk what a thespian conference is? i don’t think my country does that or maybe just my high school LOL but i hope your stage manager duties goes well because you deserve the best!! and if your director says something to you then i will appear right behind him and kick him unlovingly!! but i know you can do it and YOULL DO A GOOD JOB!! IM ROUTING FOR YOU AND IK YOULL DO WELL!! don’t stress to much and remember that at the end of the day, it’s just tech and you’re more important than the show <333333333333333 please prioritize yourself and make sure you’re eating and drinking lots of water!!

I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU ON THE KIDS THING!! there will definitely be the annoying menaces but then you find the absolute sweethearts and they just <33333333 like motherly instincts coming in quick because i just want to protect them!! like i wish i adopted a tech theatre kid so i could protect them from the director but unfortunately all of them were so annoying so FREE FOR ALL!! DONT WORRY ABOUT TYPOS BECAUSE I PROBABLY MAKE TYPOS TOO BUT DW!! like i stopped proofreading these so i just wrote and hope for the best and im glad that i get my point across enough LOL BUT SOMETIMES I IMAGINE LIKE “i wonder if ness reads these and thinks im crazy…” AND I WOULDNT BLAME YOU!! you could never do anything wrong and even if you HYPOTHETICALLY DO it would turn a blind eye because i know ness can’t do anything wrong!! AND THE NIGHTMARE WOULD SCARE ME TOO OH MY GOD having tech theatre nightmares are so real because i literally had a nightmare before like during high school where i totally messed up my cues and just started free balling the motherboard and it was a MESS!! it was definitely pre show anxiety since this was like the night before the show or like close to the show (i’m not too sure i don’t remember it was a WHILE AGO) but omg i’m so proud of your kids like THEY DID IT WITH YOUR GUIDANCE <333333333 UR ALREADY DOING SO WELL AS STAGE MANAGER!!!

OMG US COPARENTING YOUR THEATRE CHILD <3333333333 me mango anon being not a step father but a father that STEPPED UP!! us literally being the cast of some tech theatre sitcom LOL WE WOULD TOTALLY BE LIKE HIGHSCHOOL MUSICAL!! and i totally get going back like i would probably go back too (i think i said this already) but the drama i live for!! like i love just sitting back and observing it all like it’ll literally be like keeping up with the kardashians(i’ve never watched that before)(or any reality tv show to be honest)

AND YES BEHIND THE SCREEN IM LITERALLY SUNA RINTAROU!!! NESS UR SO CUTE LIKE THE CUTEST I LOVE YOU SO MUCH LIKE i will be your suna rintarou <3333333333333333333 we are meant to be like i was meant to live during this era in this lifetime in this universe because i can’t imagine me without you now like you’re part of my life forever and always now <3333333 i can’t imagine myself without you and ill literally do anything for you

I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE ILL LITERALLY CURSE WORK FOR TAKING UP MY TIME AWAY FROM YOU <////////3 i’ll be your suna forever, whatever you want ness ill do it for you <333333333 literally the love of my life is you like YOU ARE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!! don’t overwork yourself pretty i will pay for your ticket <333333333333333333333 i literally love love love you I CANT WAIT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR DAY AND WHAT YOUVE HAD TO EAT !! you mentioned cooking on monday so lmk how that goes!! make sure to eat and take care of yourself I LOVE YOU TONS HAVE A GOOD MORNING EVENING OR NIGHT!! xoxoxoxo

MANGO ANON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH <3 HELLO I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!!! AND UNFORTUNATELY THE LAST TIME I ATE WAS AT LIKE 7 AM (it's 5 pm 💀) I'M SORRY FOR GIVE ME I DID MY CLEANING RAMPAGE AND LOST TRACK OF TIME BUT DW I'M DRINKING MY SILLY LITTLE ICED TEA LEMONADE DRINK AND I BROUGHT ALMOND BUTTER TOAST WITH MYSELF TO THE LIBRARY!!! SO I WILL EAT THAT NOW DO NOT WORRY!! THANK YOU SO MUCH AND MAKE SURE YOU EAT AS WELL!!! (and this is so funny bc i was about be like!! AND U SHOULD TELL ME WHAT U EAT!! BC I FEEL LIKE U HAVEN'T TOLD ME IN A BIT!! and then you said instant pho SO WE WERE ALREADY ON THE SAME WAVE LENGTH and omg pho is so good!! lowkey may have to go out to get pho soon bc that sounds so good now </33 AND YOUR MOM IS MAKING PHO???? THAT'S SO COOL I HOPE IT TURNS OUT GOOD!!! and dw everytime i accidentally fall asleep i'm always hitting a key so i'll wake up and it's just a bunch of j's 😭😭😭

AND AA I'M SO GLAD YOUR DAY AT WORK WAS GOOD!! I THINK MINE WAS TOO,, LIKE IT WAS A LITTLE BUSY (and basically at my job like i have to do the production [actually framing things] AND take orders whenever people come in wanting to frame something but I SUCK and HATE TAKING ORDERS) and people kept coming in wanting to frame things but like i'm usually a closer and never have to deal with people wanting to make an order so after the second order i was DONE i was like "please no one else come in i cannot look at this tape measure and figure out which 16th of an inch ur child's first grade art falls on again" so like?? the WORK wasn't good but it definitely went by quickly!! and we close earlier on sundays too SO IT WAS SUPER FAST!! AND I TOTALLY GET THE AUTOPILOT AND DOING THINGS FAST TOO I REMEMBER I WAS DOING A FRAME ONCE AND WAS SO FOCUSED I DIDN'T SEE A CUSTOMER WAITING FOR ME and this is like a middle aged man but he was literally like "oh dw!! i didn't say anything bc i didn't want to bother you when you were LOCKED IN" and i was like "did u just say locked in to me??? who r u???" LMAO idk that was the only thought going thru my head during that interaction i was NOT expecting that BUT I'M GLAD YOUR DAY WAS GOOD AND THAT YOU HAD A GOOD MANAGER ON DUTY AND EVERYTHING!!!

(i just full on dropped my toast container and hit the table in this silent library btw. not a w moment for ness.) ANYWAY DEF KEEP ME UPDATED ON IF YOU QUIT OR STAY!! IK THERE'S LIKE PROS AND CONS TO BOTH SIDES AND IT'S A DIFFICULT CHOICE AND I WILL SUPPORT YOU EITHER WAY!! <33

AND YOUR STORE MANAGER'S GOODBYE MESSAGE 😭😭😭 "i'm sure you've heard the news by now" WHEN NO ONE KNEW IS SO FUNNY AND THE WAY IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARDS SHE WAS LIKE "i'm sorry i didn't have the chance to say goodbye to most of you" i just KNOW that woman left asap like she was running out of that store LMAO 😭

AND YEAH LIKE MY SISTER'S BF IS SUPER SWEET I'M GLAD THEY'RE BACK TOGETHER AND EVERYTHING <3 BUT I WAS DEF SHOCKED WHEN I SAW THAT TEXT IN MY NOTIFS OUT OF NOWHERE WITH LIKE NO OTHER CONTEXT OR MESSAGE 😭

YES COLD KISSES!!! COLD KISSES WAS SO FUN TO WRITE OMG <3 AND PLEASE i can't stop you...but like i would not reccomend reading binary stars....that was my first smau and it was NOT good (there's definitely like an oikawa curse that a few of us haikyuu smau writers have realized...like writing for oikawa as the love interest just NEVER GOES WELL idk what it is about him but 😔😔😔) so there WAS THAT on top of it being my first smau AND someone was like lowkey rb all those chapters and saying things yk like "they fr just need to confess omfg" and ik like!! it was probably lighthearted!! (maybe) but it was very pressuring so literally i cut that smau super short WHICH I'M GLAD I DID but like the entire experience of writing that smau was NOT good AND another bonus thing bc u know him now but like....that was heavily based off of my dynamic with regina george kin man (i love that we call them that) bc UNFORTUNATELY... I DID LIKE HIM FOR A BIT 😔 and we had a very strange dynamic until i finally opened my eyes and realized he was not a good person LMAO SO LIKE THAT'S WHY I NEVER TALK ABOUT BINARY STARS BC I'M NOT PROUD OF THAT SMAU BUT OFC I CAN'T STOP YOU!! 😭 AND I TOTALLY GET WHAT U MEAN MANGO ANON!! WE ARE ONE <33 AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! I WILL TOTALLY BEAT UP UR MANAGER OR JUST START SPAMMING HIM WITH SMAU LINKS BC HE NEEDS A CHANGE OF HEART!!!

AND YEAH ALL OF MY MANAGERS ARE LIKE SUPER SPECIAL 😭😭 IDK MY WORK LOWKEY IS SO SKETCHY AND BAD YESTERDAY ALL OF MY COWORKERS AND ME WERE SITTING IN THE BREAK ROOM WAITING FOR OUR MANAGER TO GET THERE SO WE COULD CLOCK OUT AND WE ENDED UP JUST COMPLAINING AND VENTING ABOUT OUR WORKPLACE (i could not tell u how terrified i was talking in there i was like "???????? what if they have secret cameras in here!! what if we all get fired after this!!" and then we were just talking bc like one of my coworkers has been there for seven years and was telling us about how like she started out at like $18 or something and then over the years it's gone BACK DOWN TO MINIMUM WAGE despite all of her credentials and like time with the company which is CRAZY and then she was talking to me and she was like "and ur a framer. so ur getting paid more than minimum wage, right?" (and my other coworker agreed with that statement) but then i was like ".....no....they're paying me minimum wage....and also never put me in the system as a framer....and also made me start framing when i was still 17.....so...." IT'S PRETTY SKETCHY IDK 😭 AND LIKE I THINK EVERYONE ELSE WORKS TOGETHER?? IT'S JUST BC THE FRAMING DEPARTMENT IS COMPLETELY SEPERATE FROM EVERYTHING ELSE WE HAVE DIFFERENT DUTIES IG BUT YES THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING ME ABOUT SWEEPING THE FLOORS!! I LITERALLY HATE IT BUT NOW HAVE SO MUCH RESPECT FOR THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO DO IT EVERY NIGHT </33

AND UR SO RIGHT!!! WE ARE LITERALLY TOO POWERFUL OF A DUO LIKE LITERALLY CAN YOU IMAGINE IF WE HAD DONE TECH TOGETHER?? WE'D LITERALLY BE BREAKING LIKE WORLD RECORDS FOR HAVING THE FIRST FUNCTIONING THEATRE DEPARTMENT (BC WE'RE SUCH A COOL DUO AND KNOW HOW TO DO EVERYTHING LIKE IF WE WERE TOGETHER EVERYTHING WOULD'VE BEEN FINE YK </33 NOT AS MUCH TRAUMA MAYBE!!) AND BEING THE COOLEST DUO EVER!! but god said no why would i do that </3 BUT PLEASE YEAH WHEN I CAME BACK TO WORK AT THIS RESTAURAUNT AS A HOSTESS LIKE THEY WANTED ME TO WORK FRIDAYS AND SATURDAYS BUT IF I WORKED FRIDAYS I'D BE WORKING WITH THE MANAGER THAT MADE ME CRY SO I WAS LIKE "ummm no thanks!! i'll just stick with saturdays <3" (ALSO an entirely other thing let me rant about this lady OMG FIRST OF ALL no offense everyone is beautiful BUT SHE LITERALLY GOT LIKE EYE LINER TATTOOS SO SHE NEVER HAS TO DO HER EYELINER BUT FIRST OF ALL IT JUST MAKES HER LOOK SCARY BC LIKE IT'S NOT CUTESY OO LOOK AT THIS WING OR ANYTHING IT'S JUST FULL ON LIKE ALMOST EMO EYELINER YK AND ALSO??? YOU GOT A NEEDLE THAT CLOSE TO YOUR EYE???? NO THANK YOU OMG. OKAY SECOND THING I'M SURE A LOT OF RESTAURANTS LIKE OLIVE GARDEN USUALLY DO LIKE SECTIONS FOR THEIR SERVERS YK?? BUT AT MY RESTAURAUNT I STARTED OUT DOING ROTATIONS [i feel like i've explained this to u before i'm sorry] AND IT'S NOT REALLY IMPORTANT JUST KNOW THEY'RE DIFFERENT AND MY SERVERS LIKE ROTATIONS MORE AND SO DO I BUT THIS MANAGER WOULD ALWAYS FORCE ME TO DO SECTIONS WHEN I WORKED WITH HER [and spoke in a way that was always objectifyig and dehumanizing the servers which i HATED. she'd be like "well if we do sections then they have no choice but to make sure their tables are clean so that they can be sat again. if they don't have any more tables in their section, that's their fault. skip them." BUT LIKE??? I'M THERE TO HELP THEM CLEAN THEIR TABLES THEY'RE ALREADY DEALING WITH SO MUCH AND??? THEY DON'T CONTROL WHEN TABLES LEAVES LIKE U CAN'T BLAME THEM IF A TABLE STAYS FOR HOURS. AND LASTLY bc i work there with my mom!! this manager was always scared i was like biased towards her and would constantly PURPOSELY give her bad tables or one time she had a regular come in but like three other of my mother's regulars came in so my manager was literally like "no. you can't have her [my mom] be your server. why don't you try having another server for once?" SO LIKE I HATE HER SM okay sorry i'm done!!!)

AND AAA MANGO ANON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! YES I SAVE ALL MY DAYS AND DRAMAS FOR YOU BECAUSE I LOVE TLAKING TO *YOU*!!!!!!! YOU ARE SO SO SWEET I AM GIVING U A KISS BACK <3333 YOU ARE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!

BUT OMG THE STUPID 50 CENT BAG THING 😭😭😭 I'M SO GLAD SOMEONE GETS THAT BC I DON'T THINK EVERY PLACE DOES THAT BUT I'M ALWAYS FIGHTING WITH THAT TOO AND IDK IF I'VE EVER SHARED THIS STORY ON HERE BEFORE BUT WHEN THEY FIRST STARTED ENFORCING THAT AND MY SISTER'S BF DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS SO MAD HE LITERALLY JUST TOOK A SUPERMARKET BASKET he was like "ur making me pay 50 cents for a plastic bag?? THEN I'M TAKING UR BASKET TAKE THAT" BUT AS U SHOULD!! LOSING YOUR CUSTOMER VOICE!! LIKE IF THEY DON'T RESPECT YOU THEN YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO RESPECT THEM!! did that guy think you were going to give you the bag for free?? like, "oh i'm so sorry you are so right mr. karen. it is so stupid that u have to pay 50 cents for this bag idek why we started doing that!! here just the take the bag!!" LIKE BRO WHAT WERE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT IT AND IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE THE ONLY STORE THAT DOES THAT 😭😭😭

AND YES IDK WHY ALMOND BUTTER IS SO EXPENSIVE!!! DEFINITELY DON'T PAY THAT MUCH FOR SHIPPING OR EVEN JUST THE JAR 😭😭 DW!! I WILL SHIP YOU ALMOND BUTTER FROM MY STATE!!! YOU CAN HAVE IT FOR FREE AND MAYBE I'LL JUST LIKE SHIP MYSELF WITH THE ALMOND BUTTER AND THEN ALL OF OUR PROBLEMS WILL BE SOLVED!!!

and omg FAIRY TAIL WAS MY LIFE AS A KID i will not ever be reverting to that era of my life!!! but DW AT ALL LIKE THE WAY I HAVE RESTARTED THIS BLOG THREE SEPERATE TIMES DON'T EVEN WORRY BUT YOUR BURNER ACCOUNT IS SO SO CUTE <33 AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE BDAY THING AT ALL!! LIKE I DIDN'T HAVE TO SAY ALL THAT AND I FELT SO BAD TOO BUT LIKE I THINK I MAKE IT MORE DRAMATIC THAN IT REALLY WAS LIKE I WAS MAKING A BIG DEAL ABOUT IT BUT YOU WERE SUPER CHILL ABOUT IT AND I APPRECIATE IT SM!!! BUT I ABOSLUTELY LOVE YOUR BURNER ACCOUNT TOO AND WILL VERY FREQUENTLY BE SENDING YOU "missing u hours </3 dms!!!" ily mango anon!! i'm giving u another big fat kiss rn mwah <3

YES THE STARS SAY SO!!!!!! WE ARE LITERALLY MEANT TO BE (and bc i'm writing this while we're also dming) LITERALLY WE JUST NEED TO MOVE IN TOGETHER!! LIKE MANGO ANON AND NESS MEET UP NOW!! WE WERE ALWAYS MEANT TO BE </33 AND DON'T BE SORRY ABOUT IT AT ALL!! AGAIN IK I DIDN'T LIKE I HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING OR SAY ALL THAT BUT I JUST WANTED TO LIKE BE AS HONEST AS POSSIBLE AND I TOTALLY TRUST YOU AND DID NOT MIND TALKING ABOUT IT AT ALL!! THANK YOU FOR BEING SO UNDERSTANDING LIKE THAT'S ALL I COULD'VE ASKED FOR AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND NEVER FEEL PRESSURED TO TELL ME ANYTHING AT ALL AND YOU'RE ALSO MY NUMBER ONE PRIORITY!!! <33

I'M CRYING THAT YOU WERE THERE TO PROTECT ME FROM DAY ONE OMG 😭😭😭😭 I'M LITERALLY SO IN LOVE WITH YOU!!! THAT LITERALLY MADE ME START KICKING MY FEET WHEN YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT CHECKING MY BLOG TO MAKE SURE NO ONE WAS SENDING IN HATE PLEASE </33 I AM LITERALLY SO HONORED I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MANGO ANON!!! THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS BEING THERE TO SUPPORT ME <33

random intermission!! do not worry i have finished my toast after that embarrassing moment where i dropped it </3 and then some guy who was wearing WAY too much axe spray came up to me and was like "hey can i have this chair?" (the extra one on the other side of the table i'm at) and i was like "oh ofc!! 😃😃😃" AS YOU READ THIS TAKE THIS AS ANOTHER BREAK TO DRINK WATER!! AND I ALSO WILL THANK YOU LOVE <333

THANK YOU MANGO ANON!! PLEASE BE MY SOUND PERSON </3 AND YEAH THEY'RE BOTH A LITTLE CRAZY AND MEAN AND LIKE THEY ARE MISOGYNISTIC HET WHITE MEN SO I DON'T THINK I COULD EXPECT ANYTHING MORE FROM THEM (one of them's usually pretty nice <3 except that one time he made me cry) BUT IT DEFINITELY ISN'T LIKE AMAZING WORKING WITH THEM BUT I WILL GET THROUGH IT THANK YOU!! i will tell you all about it once my duties start up!! (the day is slowly approaching and i am NOT ready at ALL)

LMAOO I LAUGHED SO HARD ABOUT YOUR NIGHTMARE WHERE YOU STARTED FREE BALLING THE MOTHERBOARD 😭😭 it's not funny i totally get it (i am once again trying to hold myself back from always talking in caps SORRY) and i've had SO many of those nightmares too (i'll tell u about them sometime LMAO) but like bc i've literally done that in person before and had nightmares like that i laughed 😭😭😭 AND I TOTALLY GET IT like when i was actually in high school?? yeah there was one kid i loved she was super sweet!! but she was an actor and i didn't really interact with them much and everyone else was SO annoying LIKE I GET U so i also didn't really adopt anyone!! BUT YES NOW I HAVE KIDS AND I'M SO PROUD OF THEM <33 I'M VISITING AGAIN TOMORROW BC I WANT TO SEE MY CHILD LMAO 😭

YOU'RE THE FATHER THAT STEPPED UP LMAO YES FR!!!! JUST ANOTHER WAY WE ARE THE MOST ICONIC DUO!! LOOK AT US COPARENTING TOO OMG <3 AND YES YOU ARE MY IRL SUNA RINTAROU!! I'M ALSO SO SO SO SO GLAD YOU'RE IN MY LIFE I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'D BE DOING RN WITHOUT YOU I'M SO SO HAPPY TO KNOW YOU AND TALK TO YOU ALWAYS!!! <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

YOU ARE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!! PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AS WELL AND DON'T OVER WORK YOURSELF!!! AND IF YOU WANT DEFINITELY PLS LET ME KNOW HOW YOUR OUTING WITH YOUR COWORKERS WENT NEXT TIME!!! let me rq drop my skater boy and purple heart boy lore AND THEN I'LL BE DONE!!

okay SKATER BOY so sophomore year he was in a tech class with me and actually the year before i had had a class with him but we never talked but i thought he was kind of good looking (BROTHER EUGHHHHH I'M SORRY I REGRET ALL MY CHOICES AND THE FACT THAT I HAVE TO SAY THAT BC I DO NOT KNOW WHAT WAS GOING THRU MY HEAD AT THAT TIME) but ANYWAY the short and long of it is i left school for a month during that year for mental health reasons but he was like worried about me!! so we kept in contact and when i came back to school he stuck close to like make sure i was doing good!! and i was still in a bad place and making bad decisions!! like i think one time i walked with him to his house without telling anyone (bc i was mad at the world LMAO) and that was just the worst night of my life like we didn't do anything yk LMAO 😭 but OKAY NVM UGH I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT SORRY MAYBE IN DMS IF YOU'RE CURIOUS I'LL TELL YOU BUT ANYWAY LIKE BAD MEMORIES BAD TIME FOR ME and he was a skater boy!! and a crazy man who did drugs and then when we were getting close he was like "i've stopped doing drugs for you!!" and then like right before winter break started ghosting me and started doing drugs again so then i was like "okay ig you don't like me so i'm dipping!!" (sorry we're all over the place rn but bacially so like before winter break yk we're all close and cutesy and everyone was like "OH HE DEF LIKES YOU" but then he ghosted me so...) AND ANYWAY so second semester rolls around we're back from winter break we're not talking BUT HE'S IN MY TECH CLASS AGAIN 🙄🙄 but i was one of those kids that got adopted by like all the seniors and so within that tech class we usually make like construction groups yk and so i wasn't in his group BC I WANTED TO STAY FAR FROM HIM AND I WAS WITH MY BESTIES INSTEAD!! (best tech group of my life i tell u mango anon. the only thing that could've beat them would've been working with u <3) BUT ANYWAY so one day he like randomly started talking to me again or would purposely say hi to me so i'd say hi whtvr back or something BC I NO LONGER CARE and then i think he texts me an apology for how he acted and wanted to know if we could be friends again and i think i was still in a bad place so i was suddenly like "allow me to put on my rose tinted glasses so i can block out the red flags bae let's do this" BUT NOT REALLY (sorry i don't remember my thoughts back then anymore) BUT ALL I KNOW (i think i said yes bc i felt bad? or was like "yeah we can be FRIENDS again but that's all) OKAY ALL I REMEMBER IS THEN ONE DAY HE TEXTS ME AND HERE'S THE BREAKDOWN

skater boy: i like you

me (unsure of what to freaking do so i decide to take the let's be a stupid and oblivious y/n route!!): i like you too!

(which i mean as "i like you as a friend"

skater boy: oh thank god i've been so scared to tell you

me: oh

I LITERALLY SAID OH. I SAID OH MANGO ANON BC I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY AND HE DIDN'T GET THE HINT. HE KEPT YAPPING ABOUT HOW HE DITCHED ME DURING WINTER BREAK BC HE LIKED ME BACK THEN BUT DIDN'T WANT TO SAY ANYTHING (WHICH ALL MY FRIENDS SAID SOUNDED LIKE BS BC WHY WOULD YOU STOP TALKING TO SOMEONE YOU LIKE AND WAIT MONTHS TO TALK TO THEM AGAIN BUT WHATEVER) so like nothing happened from there LMAO we never talked about it again he left me a bag with fake flowers and rings from florida on my doorstep during the summer (very weird and made me uncomfortable. i had no idea what to say) and i had a friend tell me to "✨ take a chance at love ✨" BUT LIKE THAT WAS NOT LOVE BRO THAT WAS TOXICITY AT ITS FINEST AND SO ANYWAY THE REASON I AM TELLING YOU ALL THIS BESIDES BC IT'S FUN DRAMA AND I LOVE TELLING YOU EVERYTHING IS IT'S ALSO A GIANT REASON WHY I WILL NEVER WRITE SUNA AS A SKATER BOY OR ANYTHING HAVING TO DO WITH DRUGS (and mainly why i don't write about drugs anyway bc THAT MAN TRAUMATIZED ME OMG) bc it will always remind me of skater boy™ 😭😭😭😭

OKAY PURPLE HEART MAN!! JUST A SILLY THEATRE STORY I THOUGHT OF WHILE DOING LAUNDRY YESTERDAY AND I WANTED TO TELL YOU LMAO but anyway so i think this was actually also my sophomore year how silly!!!!! that was such a wild year for everyone ig but ANYWAY so my theatre was doing this one play and it was like a farce and a fixed set and only like six actors but anyway OUR MAIN LEAD WAS JUST LIKE BEING HEXED OR SOMETHING so man literally got a concussion bc there was this one bit where he dove into the audience and had to be carried off by a stretcher by techies as a bit but one night at rehearsal one of the techies tripped over a rock so he fell and bonked his head (WHICH ALSO RANDOMLY REMINDS YOU ALSO DURING THIS SHOW WE LITERALLY HAD A TOXIC FREON LEAK IN THE BOY'S DRESSING ROOM AND SOMEONE WENT MOMENTARILY BLIND) AND he like twisted his ankle i think!! another time he dove off the stage?? and then another actor accidentally stomped on his toe and that got injured too LMAO SO HE WAS REALLY GOING THROUGH IT AND ALMOST DIDN'T MAKE IT TO THE LAST SHOW BC HE WAS IN SUCH BAD CONDITION (if i remember correctly on like our second show day immediately after the show he went to the er??? and also when we were striking the set and tearing down posters one of them tore in a way that like yk some of the paper was left on the wall and it LITERALLY SPELLED OUT 'DIE' IDK WHY THIS SHOW WAS SO CURSED) and so at the end of the play he was awarded a purple heart as a joke bc that's what they give people who serve in the army yk 😭😭 if they were injured during their service

SORRY THAT'S ALL AND SORRY FOR THE LONG YAP!!! I HOPE THIS MAKES YOU LAUGH A LITTLE BIT THOUGH AND THAT YOU ARE DOING WELL!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MANGO ANON!! TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DAY AND YOUR OUTING WITH YOUR COWORKERS AND WHAT YOU ATE AND MAKE SURE TO EAT AND DRINK ENOUGH WATER I LOVE YOU SM!!! <33

[eurovision-del]

After a very full on weekend last week, we’ve got a much less busy weekend coming up, with only San Marino actually selecting their song this Saturday (which I probably won’t be ranking in advance). However, Croatia are also selecting their entry this weekend with Dora starting tomorrow evening, finishing with the final on Sunday. The songs have been out for quite a while, so here’s my ranking of them all:

Barbara Munjas – Nepobjediva

Baby Lasagna – Rim Tim Tagi Dim

Let 3 – Baba Roga

Damir Kedžo – Voljena ženo

Lana Mandarić – More

Noelle – Baby, Baby

Natalie Balmix – Dijamanti

Vatra – Slatke suze, gorka ljubav

Lu Dedić – Plavi leptir

Erna – How Do You Love

Alen Đuras – A Tamburitza Lullaby

James Night – Nebo plače

Stefany Žužić – Sretnih dana dat’ će Bog

Lara Demarin – Ne vjerujem ti

Pavel – Do mjeseca

Vinko – Lying Eyes

Marcela – Gasoline

Eugen – Tišine

ET – Pametnom dosta

The Splitters – Od kad te sanjam

Mario Battifiaca ft. Robert Ferlin – Vodu piti trizan biti

Boris Štok – Can We Talk

Misha – One Day

Saša Lozar – Ne plačem zbog nje

The overall quality of this selection is pretty high, it's the rare selection I might find myself throwing on the playlist of all the entries for casual listening in the future – there's nothing I really dislike, my worst criticism of any song here was 'forgettable'. That said, while I like a lot of the songs here, I actually don’t think there’s an obvious standout.

I think my favourite song here is actually Nepobjediva by Barbara Munjas – I ranked her entry last year pretty high too, there’s something about her sound that appeals to me. Nepobjediva combines electronic pop with a bit of rock influence in an interesting way. The rhythm of the guitar in the chorus is great, I vibe with it so much. The song goes through quite a few different ideas in that it feels more like a train of thought than a strictly structured song, but I like that, it feels like I’m going on a journey with it – before I was properly familiar with it I wasn’t sure where it was going to go next but every time I was excited to find out. I also really like Barbara’s voice, she’s got a proper rock vocal with the power and attitude she can sing with – I wasn’t surprised when I looked her up to find that apparently she’s fronted a couple of rock bands before.  

I much prefer when I can do all these rankings completely blind, even though I might have a guess at which songs might be fandom favourites I don’t look at any fan polls or odds until after I’ve finalised my ranking – but unfortunately with these songs being out for so long before I got round to it, I’m aware that Baby Lasagna is the clear favourite here. It’s put me in a weird position, because I feel like I should really like Rim Tim Tagi Dim, and I do like it, the general sound of it is right up my street, but I do have reservations that mean it’s not quite my favourite. I love the pace and energy of it, it hits exactly the right note to get you hyped up at the start, but if anything I want even more! It feels like it sits on one level, and while it’s a good level, I wish it shook it up a little more. In direct comparison to what I was saying about Nepobjediva it’s got a pretty standard structure – first verse, chorus, shorter second verse, chorus, instrumental break, chorus, chorus. After you’ve heard the first chorus you’ve heard pretty much the entire song – though to be fair when it sounds good that isn’t always a bad thing.  

We’ve also got a couple of artists who’ve won Dora in recent years back again. I really enjoy what’s going on in Baba Roga, Let 3 continue to tread their own path and I appreciate them for it, but I don’t want to see them back at Eurovision so soon, not when there are a couple of other songs here I prefer. On the other hand, I would actually love it if Damir finally got his chance to properly represent Croatia at Eurovision. I’m so glad he’s gone back to a ballad after not really feeling his song last year. He knows how to do passion, and I think Voljena ženo builds really nicely as a song – I love how it picks up at the end, it nails the key change. I think Voljena ženo would have real potential to do well at Eurovision, especially since we’re a little low on ballads this year, but I think Rim Tim Tagi Dim could also do well for Croatia too if staged in a way that captures and sustains the energy it has in an interesting way. I’d also be absolutely thrilled if Barbara somehow won on Sunday, but I think I might be in more of a minority in loving Nepobjediva.