#god my mom needs therapy SO MUCH
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I've been rereading some parts of jennette McCurdy's "Im glad my mom died" and fuck some parts in the beggining feel so unconfotably relatable to me. My mom is NOWHERE NEAR as horrible as jennette's but how she victimizes herself? makes everything about herself? sees her daughter as an extension of herself? Infantilizes her daughter cause she is afraid of her growing up, thus making the daughter afraid to grow up as well? Having to constantly put on a performance in order to appease your mother? I've been there. I feel all of that on my bones.
And im so fucking glad that i had other people in my family to help build my worldview and behavior aside from her (those other people had their own set of issues but at least it gave me other perspectives). That i didnt just take everything she threw at me, that i fought back. (I used to have crying screaming fights with her, i cursed, i yelled that i hated her, i threw myself in the ground, a full on tamtrum every time she yelled at me, it was so horrible, but i do believe it was way better than if i had just took it all silently. I dont know what i would be today if i had. Gotta thank my ADHD emotional disregulation for that i guess, at least one "good" thing it got me)
Most of all im so glad my mom is trying to change. Actually trying. Im so glad that she actually loves me, even though she fucks it up big time. She did not had malicious intent back them, she just had so many fucking issues and did not know what the fuck she was doing, but that right now she is willing to learn how to be better for me because she legitematly cares. Im so so so fucking glad im finally convincing her to go to therapy.
I love my mom. I do want her to leave me the fuck alone and not put all of the meaning of her like on my back. But i love that she is noticeably trying not to do that anymore.
#personal#im glad my mom died#when i figured out she totally has OCD so many things started making sense#god my mom needs therapy SO MUCH#she talked for an hour on the phone with my therapist once and had like 5 epiphanies from that#and that oppened her mind to 'oh maybe therapy really IS something that could help me'#she hasnt actually gone yet tis happened loke two weeks ago#but im not giving up until she does (and i got my therapist as back up helping me out in this)
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Today we weren't allowed out on the playground due to wet paint, and my kids were doing great but by the end of the day we were getting stir crazy and bouncing off the walls
And also separately we've been working with this one kid to try and control her temper (her tiny body fills up with So Much Rage and she will bite!!!) and I realized that we only tried to give her tools to deal with that when she was all worked up, and that isn't any sort of way to build a new skill
So we all sat on the carpet and and dimmed the lights and took like 5 minutes for toddler yoga and deep breathing and it was actually great?????? We practiced taking deep breaths and blowing them out (toddlers can't see the difference between breathing in and breathing out, they just hear it, like a lot of times if you show them how to smell a flower they will blow on the flower!!!! So emphasizing the blowing out part helps them figure out the breathing in part) and we patted our heads..... And our shoulders ... Then gave ourselves a big hug!!!! (One little boy who loves hugs was so excited about this part!!) Then I walked them through a basic sensory activity where we felt the carpet with our hands and listened with our ears to see what we could hear and then looked around for what we could see, and then we did deep breathing and stood up together for some stretching and wrapped it up
And it was so helpful??? It really helped reset the mood in the classroom, it was amazing
AND THEN, later in the day, when my tiny child was full of rage when her classmate grabbed a toy, I said 'take a deep breath!!!'
AND SHE DID
SHE STOPPED RIGHT THERE ALL FULL OF RAGE AND TOOK THE TINIEST ANGRIEST MOST ADORABLE BIG BREATH IVE EVER SEEN AND IM SO FUCKING PROUD OF HER!!!!!!!!
#SHE DID IT!!!!!! SHE DID THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!¡!!#ive done enough therapy that at this end of time i forget how much of my childhood i spent Really Angry anf unable to cope#and the only times people ever tried to help me with it was during!!!! it was not effective!!!!!!!!#and so i realized this and was like 'what are we doing???' and by god we will do better by this child!!!!!#......is what I say about all my children lmao there is catharsis in a job like this#i understand my parents much better now and they did really try and also I see where they messed up and hurt me and why its a whole thing#ANYWAYS THE POINT IS THAT THIS IS A TEACHER VICTORY AND IM REALLY PROUD OF MY STUDENT!!!! LOOK AT HER GO!!!!#gotta chat with mom and dad so we can pass on the advice!!!#.....her mom and dad. my parents dont need to hear shit lmao we're beyond that hahaha#lori chat
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Glad I’m starting therapy so soon after moving out ☝️ I am already feeling the helplessness and loneliness
#vent#<- slightly? not that strongly? this is a pretty chill post like. I feel pretty chill#but also :( sad#I miss my family and friends at home#I haven’t really talked to my roommates#including the one who’s been my friend since high school bc she’s been sick (?) for the past few days#and this semester is definitely going to be A Lot#I got accepted into another choir but I’m most likely not joining bc my schedule is so packed#but the main thing is#I FEEL LIKE A BABY#my parents never really made me cook or clean and I just feel kinda useless#I’m just gonna have to force myself to learn which is fine#and my parents have offered to walk me through stuff over the phone when they can#but idk I just feel really immature bc like. damn I am 20 and don’t know how to cook Anything#I’m gonna go grocery shopping either tonight or tomorrow and get some sandwich supplies and other non-cooking stuff#so we are not completely doomed lol#also I need to do laundry tomorrow.. which. I can do and have done before. but I’m still gonna call my mom for guidance 😅#idk I think the main thing that’s stressing me out is spending money on food vs. groceries#and trying to eat at least some protein and fruits/vegetables etc. while also not spending exorbitantly#bc I am SOOOO irrationally anxious about money. I hate hate hate spending money#so the whole idea of grocery shopping is just kind of filling me with dread 🥲#but I will do it bc I need to Adult at some point#I just. idk I guess most students do this and I’m being whiny about it bc I’m not used to it??#but it just feels like So Much to be taking five classes and doing a bunch of extracurriculars and living on my own for the first time!#like! ahhh! too much at once!#😰😰😰#and I need to get an internship soon 😀 and if I don’t get one this semester I need to at least get a job so I can stress less about money 😀#but I always stress about money regardless 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀 even though I have scholarships savings etc 😀😀 ocd things! 😁 (🥲)#thank god for my meds and the thought that I’ll be starting therapy in the next week or two#and also my mom for being like the sweetest wver
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I would never have thought that playing Disney: Dreamlight Valley would make me ship Merlin and Ursula but here we are they're definitely a divorced couple you cannot change my mind
#psa i did not buy the game fuck disney#my nama bought the game forever ago and i had to do some finagally bullshit to play it because disney is fucking stupid with their weird#cloud save id thing whatever it was a whole thing of figuring out how to play on my acc on my switch w/out buying the game#the answer was just to transfer “primary console” control to her acc on my switch - now we can play it at the same time#the bad news is she bought literally every dlc EXCEPT FUCKING OSWALD. LIKE IM NOT GONNA ASK HER TO BUY IT BECAUSE AGAIN /FUCK DISNEY/#BUT IM SOBBING CRYING ROLLING ON THE FLOOR MY GUY THATS MY LITTLE GUY PLEASE GOD PLEASE MY LITTLE GUY I WANT HIM PLEASE GOD SOBBING#talk talks#disney dreamlight valley#dreamlight valley#ursula#im not tagging merlin because all the suggested tags i dont recognize ans i fear its like a character in an underground tv show#also mother gothel is like exactly like my mom and i hate it i completely forgot that i related to tangled too much#overly sheltered kid with a narcissistic hoverparent mom? noo totally not. my life FUCK#but i caught myself going “oh shes not so bad shes fine to live in the valley shes just bad to her kid :]” and then had whiplash#that is probably why everybody except me likes my mom isnt it. god i hate charismatic narcissists#not gonna get into it if anyone with npd follows me thats fine its just that my mom refuses to go to therapy or improve her actions at all#its like entirely a personal issue your a person too whatever whatever its 2 am#i am aware pds are stimatized especially npd but i think living with an emotionally abusive narcissist for 10+ years is enough to justify a#/bit/ of a negative bias. i dont want to encourage treating narccissists like shit but i do think people need to be held accountable
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aaaaaaand it's starting. mom's bestie just texted me asking to come over this weekend cause it's Bad and it's probably the last chance to talk and maybe say goodbye to my mom's husband and i need to take care of her. god. i wont get through this weekend unless im high or drunk istg.
#time to slightly overdose my depression meds again ig lol#anyway. it is a little better with me these last two weeks. turns out the meds do work when you actually take em regularly#but first my best friend's break up that she's blowing up to unimaginable size#acting as if she just got divorced with the love of her life after 20 years#and not ended a few months long relationship with a guy who's been the source of most of her troubles since the moment they started dating#(ofc she's valid and id never tell her that because like. i get it. some people feel stuff more deeply. but its hard to be supportive#when you genuinely feel like this is the best possible outcome for her and that the relationship was only dragging her down all this time)#and now this. and this is gonna be infinitely worse. and then it's gonna get a million times worse when he actually does die.#and i feel like the worst most selfish person ever which like. probably am. but i did tell my cousin who actually knows my mom really well#and she said she understands and that my fears ARE valid because SHE'S terrified of how she's gonna handle my mom#and she wouldn't wanna be me in that situation cause it's gonna be so much worse for me lmao#like i feel like people who know my mother casually really dont understand just how unhinged emotionally she is#anyway. i feel so overwhelmed. i cant handle this jesus.#but im also emotionally unavailable and refuse to actually confide in another person because i dont want to be a bother <3333#god i love tumblr. i can literally type anything in those tags lol it's the perfect form of venting since you can just scroll by#but i will still have let it out of myself anyway uwu i literally dont need that therapy fr#anyway. i feel so unbelievably fucking lonely and on one hand it's my own fault for withdrawing and refusing to ask for help.#but on the other hand. i AM alone. like there's no one who can help me in this particular situation.#i have no siblings. obviously my dad isnt gonna help. it all falls down to me. good god. i wanna throw up.
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Doesn’t all this “traditional” motherhood hype ever get old? Doesn’t it ever start to ring hollow? Doesn’t the constant stream of “you are doing the MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER by being a mom” homilies and meditations start to reek of just another industry that thrives on your isolation, insecurity, and loss of identity?
#just thoughts#I prayed to God to help me soften and open my heart towards the Catholic moms group and He is TESTING ME#the group organizer shared a clip of a fr ripperger homily talking about how nObLe motherhood is#how SO much more noble it is than ANYTHING ELSE a woman could possibly do#and she sent it with a FIRE EMOJI#🤢#it was from a blonde traditionalist influencer who is just gEnTlY aSkInG WHY you#you would save money to send your kids to catholic school instead of just homeschooling them#and I’m just#the fucking we are mothers and we are RAISING SAINTS and we are AWESOME#it’s just fucking girlboss culture in a lace veil#as you can see I am NOT doing a good job letting God soften my heart#if you need some wrinkly old rad trad priest to tell you your value you may be in a cult#or at least need therapy
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being the eldest daughter really is just how do i shield my sibling from everything bad in the world and also how do i gentle parent my own parents
#being home makes me realise how much i had to self teach emotional regulation and communication skills#i am truly the glue holding this family together no one talks to each other just immediate defensiveness and yelling and being mean#like i truly just sit here in shock listening to my sister and my parents interact with one another and how easily fights break out#little by little i’m starting to feel like a guest in this home again despite this being the place i grew up in#family tw#parents tw#going back to the city tomorrow and I’m sad leaving again but i’m also like.#this environment is so bad for me mentally and emotionally#and i try and fix it but i’ll never be able to bc no one else wants to put in the effort to fix it#so i need to just stop trying to hold everyone together bc my parents are grown fucking adults#my sister is my baby so she’s a lil different but seriously this is too much#why is mom yelling at my dad before he even shows any sign of frustration/anger…#not that THAT is even an excuse to start yelling but like she’ll get mad at him for being mad when he’s NOT even mad??#please make this make sense bc rn i cannot comprehend it#everyone please get therapy!! god#talk time
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Apparently my not doing well is noticeable because my boss gave me Friday off and was like hey take a long weekend and go see your family
#I’m not sure if I will go home#it depends on if I think I can talk to my parents about Why I’m struggling#without them trying to convince me it’s not as bad as I think it is#also to be fair the family comment is just because I do go home to my parents like every other week#when we convinced my grandma to move into a retirement home near them one of the selling points was it being easier for people to visit#mostly me since my other cousin doesn’t go by like ever even tho she lives half an hour away#(for those of you that know Zoe this is the other side of my family so a different situation grandma wise#anyways I go by and see her for a while on Saturdays I’m up and swing by Sunday morning when I head home#I’ve spent more time with her since she moved then I had in years#which is good I’m glad I get to see her m#I got off topic there but like the go home to see your family wasn’t a you’re barely holding it together and need your family#it’s more you need a break go see your family like you like to do#but like I said I’m not sure I mean honestly I only got my mom to understand I struggle with mental illness like a couple of years ago#I don’t know how she missed me going to therapy and being on antidepressants in high school#maybe she just thought it was a grief thing and that I’d gotten better?#god I wrote so much in these tags sorry thanks to any of you that read all the way through
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When is it socially acceptable to ask for a picture he has of me and none other than mother miranda's (brazilian) VA even tho we broke up over text?
#i cried all day yesterday and barely ate#but now I see I really needed this. he is childish and I was carrying the relationship asking for more effort all the time#ALSO HE LIED ABOUT BEING IN THE ARMY????#AND I ONLY FOUND OUT THANKS TO HIS MOTHER#and my anxiety is much better now 😎 i knew it was gonna end if he didnt change and guess what his problems take years of therapy#and i dont have that. as my mom says: dont think the minimun is the max. AND RESPECT YOURSELF#so as hanna montana's actress whose name I cant write says: i can give myself flowers and I will#i asked four time for flowers and he didnt listen. this will be my test for future relationships#.#vent#also ITS FUCKING MOTHER MIRANDA AND FREYA FROM GOD OF WAR CMON
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not my mom being a kirk cameron stan
#NOT HER SAYING WHAT THAT MAN PREACHES IS THE SAME AS GRANDMA#and my personal fav 'he just feels like the rest of us' WHO'S US? u gotta mouse in your pocket?#every day i think abt how close my mom is to to falling into the alt right pipeline and there's nothing i can do about it#also what is she even talking abt lmfao acting like some big disaster happened at the event when it didn't lmfao#yeah some ppl sat OUTSIDE drawing in chalk and some ppl walked around the library carrying a rope#and a handful of ppl showed up deliberately gnc and at one point someone IN THE LOBBY shouted love is love#and yet she's acting like protestors caused a scene#HELPPPPPPP HER TELLING MY DAD THAT SHE'S PRAYING FOR ME RN#LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOO WHAT ABT ME NOT LIKING KIRK CAMERON MEANS I'M NOT CHRISTIAN???????? I'M LITERALLY CHRISTIAN HELLO#hella personal#GOD this is why we can't have a fucking conversation like she always does this at the most inconvenient times#and then starts crying over Everything and it just all snowballs like we literally need mom-daughter therapy so fucking BAD#and she seriously needs to let so much of her own guilt go before we can have any conversation abt our shit#like sooooooo many of her feelings are about her and not me lmfao#and it's fucking uncomfortable. anyway
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ok guys i've never been more tense about a vote than this which says a lot because i am a milgram fan but
please vote molly i am on my knees
Overworked Blorbo Battle Round 3 Poll: 11
#allow me to explain. molly blyndeff is 12 years old. she has an older sister + a father + a dead mom.#the family owns a toy store. work used to be well split until mom died. now molly does basically everything and then some.#dad's an irresponsible deadbeat! so much so that he left little molly at a museum overnight.#sister is unhelpful. she has bigger escapism issues than me and just uses her powers to mess around in her magical dream worlds.#thus molly is left to do... everything. she runs the shop. she does the chores. she even does the god damn taxes.#even at the end of the museum arc she arrives home late into the night and her first instinct is 'well. time to run the shop...'#before she realizes her new friend the Criminal™ told her 'yknow you can say no to that right. it's hurting you'#even her other new friend the Therapist after finding out about her situation was like 'hey. if you need therapy my first session is free.'#mollysweep#one last thing though:#u gotta admit whether ur on mollys side or not. punkitt adding new susan facts mid battle is funny as fuck
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Sister's therapist called child protective services on my mother!!
#no idea how this will play out#maybe she'll go to a psychiatrist now#fingers crossed anyway#she just said this is why i think God hates us lmfao#only reason I'm anxious is bc Izzies having anxiety attack#i don't actually want my mother in jail though so I'll have to keep the hair she pulled out with me instead of in a drawer#she deadass was just talking about how when i was in high school my friends mother had cps called on her (she didn't do anything Wrong#she was just. incredibly overbearing very much a helicopter parent) but she goes and that was wrong too they didn't need to do that#TOO??????#YOU PULLED A KNIFE ON YOUR HUSBAND AND CHILD#YOU PULLED HAIR OUT OF MY FUCKING SCALP#If Anything is warranted This fucking Is#i don't think anyone will get taken away over this bc some people i knew lived in regularly abusive households and nothing happened there#no matter how often cps was called#two days before mother's day too this is good shit#very juicy#my post#. it might become a problem bc mom's saying she (izzie) is never going back there for therapy#and if that trickles to me needing a new psychiatrist for my meds again after i finally found someone i like I'll start crying
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i think i may have a form of agoraphobia at this point
#i cant tell how much of my fear is covid vs going out in public#gonna try to go to a nearby park tomorrow and the concept is making me uneasy#idk#a lot of this is also just paranoia bc my moms been through some Shit and she had no qualms telling middle school me all of it#so i have like second hand mental illness from being told all the horrible things that can happen in graphic detail#it's bc she needs therapy badly and decided i was good enough shrug#god forbid i go down the street at night to look at a cardboard box you'd think i was walking into a white van in front of#her not to mention i was 20 years old at this point#anyway i just have a fear of going places alone bc of that
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Heavy
Summary - Being a mother is so much harder than you expected, especially when Cassian is gone
Warnings - motherhood, signs of postpartum
A/N- I needed therapy, and this happened. To all my readers who are moms, readers who want to become moms, or dedicated aunts who are bonus moms: you are all amazing, strong, and valued.
You closed your eyes as your daughter cried out for the fifth time tonight.
She had just fallen asleep. She was warm, content, fed, clean diaper. You didn't know what you were doing wrong, but when she wasn't on your chest, her small wails would break the silence of the House of Wind. You sat up, picking her up to try to stop the crying and sat against the headboard.
Cassian had been gone for the past 4 days in Windhaven. He had, begrudgingly, agreed to go with Rhys and Azriel. Each item he packed was slammed into his bag haphazardly before he finally realized his anger was keeping your daughter awake, her little wings fluttering with each loud noise. He had slept with her skin to skin the whole night. He refused to allow anyone else to hold his girl before he left in the morning.
And Gods her cries when she realized daddy wasn't there, that daddy wasn't going to cuddle after feedings with mommy that day, they shattered you.
She loved her daddy. She loved you. She wanted you both at all times.
But daddy had to work, you would whisper before crying too.
Tonight had been your last straw. You didn't remember the last time you bathed and changed clothing, the last time you slept for more than 30 to 45 minutes at a time.
The tears came before you could stop them. Cassian's absence had taken a huge toll on your mental health as you constantly had your newborn attached to your breasts, in your arms sleeping on you, crying for you if you so much as left the room to go to the bathroom.
You leaned your head back crying with her little sniffles, “I know, babygirl. I miss daddy too.”
Cassian glared at Rhys as your stress and emotion stuck him. You had grown so exhausted that keeping the bond locked tight was no longer an option. "She's fine, Cassian. She's a great mom," Rhys said softly. "I wouldn't have pulled you away if she couldn't handle it."
Azriel made a face, having stayed the past week with you and Cassian at the house to be an extra hand. "She's an amazing mother, Rhys, but Sulwyn is a daddy's girl," Azriel leaned against the wall in the cabin. "This is probably overwhelming for all three of them. It's only be 4 weeks."
Cassia was about to respond, thanking Azriel for understanding, but you sent him one last wave before you realized the bond was open. It was that last emotion that hit him that had him standing without warning and taking off.
That he had never felt from you before. That feeling of completely worthlessness, of self doubt, of complete self loathing.
He pushed himself, straining each sore muscle before landing hard on your shared balcony in record time.
And the sight inside broke his heart.
Your daughter crying on your chest, and you with her, telling her you didn't know what else to try, what was wrong.
“Give her to me,” he said softly. “Give me our daughter. Go bathe. Do something for you.” You shook your head, holding her tighter. “y/n, give me our baby. You need a break, sweetheart. I can feel it. I can feel you falling apart. I can feel the pit forming. Let me take care of you two.”
“But Rhys-”
“Can fuck all the way off. My wife isn't okay. You need to give me Sulwyn and take a break.” You moved slowly, handing Cassian the tiny Illyrian female who instantly calmed in his arms. His face softened immediately, heart warming. “I missed you too, baby.”
He felt the moment that shattered you too. Another heavy emotion hitting the bond.
You sat curled up in the tub for what felt like hours. It was long enough Cassian had put Sul down and now sat next to you.
“Tell what’s going through your head,” he pushed wet hair behind your pointed ear. “Talk to me, sweetness.”
“I feel worthless. Like I've lost my sense of who I am and all value I held to the court.” You paused, wiping a few stray tears. “I feel like a burden to you, her, and now our family.”
That one struck Cassian straight in his heart. “You could never be a burden.”
“I can't even calm our daughter to sleep,” you broke again, voice shaking as you began to sob. “All I am her is her personal food slave. No one said it would be this hard.”
“I know, y/n.” Cassian sighed deeply. “We need to get you out of the House,” Cassian tilted your head to him, kissing your forehead lightly. “Madja warned us about this, remember? She warned us that you potentially would start to feel really down. Everything you are feeling is normal, even if it's so far from true.”
Cassian kissed your lips gently. “I need you to listen to me and hear me right now, okay? You are not a burden. You are not worthless. You are not her personal feeding dummy. You are her mother. Her best friend. Her safe place.” Cassian paused, wiping your tears. “You are my wife. My mate. You are the strongest female I know. You birthed an Illyrian with the wrong anatomy and somehow survived. You're caring for a newborn the size of your torso, and you do it with a smile and without voicing these feelings. She and I would be lost without you.”
He paused again, a small squeak being heard from the bedroom before silence fell back over. “You are her favorite person. She lights up at just the sound of your voice. I have to cuddle her under your blanket. Yes, she was upset and missed me, and Gods I missed her, but you are her world. And you both are mine, and it is killing me to see you like this.”
Another small squeak came. “She's hungry,” you whispered.
“Would a shitty mom know that just from the noise she's making?” You shook your head, allowing him to help you stand And wrap you in a warm towel. “I'll hold you two while she eats, so you can fall asleep if you want?”
It was such a little gesture. One of his small smiles gracing his face as he carried you back into your shared room.
Cassian dressed you gently kissing your fingers, your palms, your cheekbones. He laid in the bed with you two motioning for you to come between his legs and holding Sulwyn to you.
“Tomorrow mama is going to leave for awhile, Sul. You, daddy, and Auntie Nesta will hang out while Uncle Az takes mom to the Cafe they like to go to so they can discuss the latest in gross spy shit-” Cassian froze behind you. “Stuff.”
He smiled looking down and realizing you had fallen asleep in his arms. “You, little baby,” he looked at Sulwyn, “Are beyond loved. We need to make sure mama feels that way too, okay? Daddy is going to tell Uncle Rhys to shove it tomorrow. Then we're going to work on spoiling mommy.”
Your daughter gave Cassian a small smile, looking up at him with bright doe eyes as she continued eating. “That's my girl.”
#acotar#acotar x reader#cassian x reader#cassian#cassian acotar#girldad!cassian#girldad!cassian x reader
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Another deaged Dan and ellie or otherwise known as Crack.
Pt1 pt2 pt3. pt4
Jason was out patrolling Crime Alley when Clark called him freaking out.
Clark was currently in the doghouse with most of the bats and his sons. While most of it wasn't really his fault his family wasn't really the letting go type. He would know.
"What the hell do you want." He grimaced, that came out a lot rougher than he intended but sue him his brother had been missing for a week and they still were no were closer to finding him.
"Jason! How can you tell which rich men are predators?" What the hell.
"Get here now."
Which is how he came to be sitting across from a crisscross apple sauced Superman in his nearest safe house nursing a beer.
"I overheard something today at work." Kill him now. He was about to pull out a cyanide pill if this fucker didn't stop beating around the goddamn bush.
"What don't you overhear." He took another swing of his beer. He'd need plenty of it if Clark was gong to pester him for some fucking story while his brother was out there who knows where with God knows who, doing fucking anything. He could feel the green starting to rise and he did his best to push it back down but his vision was still tinged. It was happening a lot more often lately.
"Lex Luthor is apparently a sex trafficker." Atleast he was no longer beating around the bush but what the fuck? He knows the top suspect is Luthor and he's going to make a fucking joke about that. This was so not funny.
" I don't know what your playing at but you better explain yourself before I put a kryptonite bullet in your head." This fucker was going to singlehandedly destroy all his hardwork in therapy.
" One of my coworker's moms works at lexcorp, she called him today talking about the fact lex had two sick kids hanging around but disappeared and that a new one apparently showed up sick as well, last week." That got his attention.
"I also overheard her say he was experimenting on all of them and that the newest one spent time in Luthors own bedroom." He was going to cut Lexs dick off and shove it so far down his throat it was going to come out the other end. The green was suffocating.
"You think it's Damian."
"Who else? But the other kids I'm not sure." The other kids could have been surrogates for Damian but he was missing something. Kids because Lex has now kidnapped two other kids and experimented on them. And was probably hurting or experimenting on Damian in all kinds of ways he didn't even want to think about. The green spiking and flooding his senses, urging him to put down down anything that hurt his baby brother his...fraid? What the hell? He shook that thought off, that's never happened before. The green never allowed him to have such clear and borderline strange thoughts before.
"We need to go to the batcave." Shoving his helmet on, not even waiting for Clark's response, he'd beat him their anyway.
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Jon was sat perched on the rocks high in the cave, listening for even a hint of wherever Damian had gone. His dad who he was absolutely pissed at bad arrived and asked everyone to to 'please listen to whatever he and Jason have to say before you interupt'. Which led to a lot of shouting and arguing he was ignoring. He already knew what it was about he had been straining listening to every single person mentioning lex luthor.
He couldn't imagine Damian in that position. It wasn't that he didn't understand it could happen to anyone it was just disbelief that it could happen to... his best friend, who he's had a crush on for years. He obviously knew that no one was infallible, much less Damian, but he couldn't help think it. Damian always seemed untouchable.
Eventually, everybody quieted down again and went back to their own things. The quiet was unwelcome. He'd been having strange dreams since before he heard of Damian's disappearance.
They always started out normal enough. He was walking in a park that seemed familiar, but he knows for a fact he's never been to. After a while, he comes to a picnic table with various snacks and drinks thrown around in smaller piles like they were transfered from someone's arms to quickly care.
A boy with bright orange hair, covered in freckles everywhere, he can see wearing a basketball jersey attempting to twirl a ball on one finger, his hands are covered in colorful markers, both drawing snd wikd splotches. He instinctively recognizes him as 'Wes' even though he has no clue who he is. 'Wes' briefly tries to wave at him but loses his grip on his ball and has to chase it down the hill, cursing all the way. When he turned the back of his legs, have punctured, looking scars on them like something grabbed him and dragged him around, seering fangs into his flesh.
Another boy 'Tuck' is typing madly at what he can recognize as a PDA even though he's only seen them on old TV. He's placed in the center surrounded by tools most on his left and right side like he picked them up and threw them back down too quickly to care. His hands have several scars, but his left arm is the worst, 3rd degree burns healed, but still looked painful. His tongue is sticking out the side of his mouth, and he keeps pushing his dreads underneath a red beanie, but before his hands even touches his device, they've already slid back out.
There's two other girls side by side, one shooting airplanes and attempting to get the other to 'play with her'. One 'Val' his mind supplies somehow, has darker skin, and wears a typical y2k outfit complete with a flip-phone she secured on her body with a yellow ribbon. Her face has a huge jagged scar running from the side, almost touching her mouth as if her head slammed on something sharp, then dragged downward purposefully and other smaller scars on everywhere else. She looks straight out of one of his mom's old photo books rather than a 2000s fashion enthusiast. She smirks at him and waves her finger at him in a 'come hither' kinda way.
The other girl 'ellie', wear more baggy clothes, the knees are torn and darker from wear and tear rather than on purpose like what he himself has worn. From the little skin she shows he can see both bruising new and old with quite a few 'narley' looking scars. She sees him and waves, smiling brightly, she grabs one of the paper airplane and throws it into the sky. 'Ellie' then waves her hands around in a motion that looks like it was practiced for more effects than practical. Wind billows past her making the paper go soaring for a brief minute before it self-destructive under the stress of the wind. She pouts and stomps her foot before grabbing another one and trying again.
He continues past her and sits near 'val'. Val grabs his shoulders and snaps a phota on her phone. "Say cheese," she says through her teeth, smiling joyfully. For some reason, he obeys her command and smiles softly at the camera. He feels happy and peaceful. Val shoves the phone in his hand for him to inspect, but something is wrong.
He-she has dark black hair that seems to have a purple hue to it. Her makeup is dark and shadowed, and her clothes are shorter than he's ever worn before. They look sewn together cruedly but with an attention to detail he often lacks. She has quite a few scars ranging from scrapes to jagged cuts. Somehow, the girl holds a peace sign up, and he can see her claw like nails. The black paint was patchy in places, making him able to tell those were real nails, not just fake acrylics.
He looks down, and he sees her. Before he starts to spiral,'Danny' calls out. "Sam! There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you!" 'Danny' has even worse scarring than anyone else the way he leans over him he can see inside his shirt, a large autopsy scar is healed rough and jagged edges make it known he fought the whole time. He has litchenberg type figures from his right hands palm all the way up to his throat. Weren't they supposed to fade? He knows logically that he can't be Damian, but he also just feels like he is, like he's just like Jon's best friend, like he's known him forever and loves him. 'Danny' appearance then starts to shift from looking even more like Damian his eyes and face stay carefree, but his harsh scarring looks even more profound against his darker skin. 'Damian's' head comes to rest on his shoulder and he feels 'Sam' start to lean down and kiss him, but as soon as they lock eyes the dream is over leaving him in a panting mess, trying to catch his breath.
He's had that exact same dream for a week now with no change. All ending in the exact same spot. He wasn't sure who to talk to about it. It felt important, but what if it's just a dream?
"Jon? Hanging in there?" Kon floated up, he staying in the air probably in case he reacted negatively. He hates how they treat him like a ticking time boom, Damian never treats him like that. Come on, just say it. He's your brother.
"I just...miss him." he buried his head in his hands like the coward he was. Kon floated closer until he was landing right next him, bumping his shoulder.
"I know Jon, I get it." No you really don't. Cause i don't let you.
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"So there is a boy you like?" Vlad pestered him rubbing his back.
"I never said it was a boy." He snarked before throwing up his entire stomach up in the toilet.
"Please Damian, I went to school with your father. Both of them now actually." He said matter a factually.
"Gay." He said in between hurling. Finally after not immediately throwing up as soon as he even moves slightly Vlad places a water bottle in his hands.
"Thank you." He mumbles, mind your manners young master.
Vlad was nice and all sometimes, but he missed his family. Pennyworths chiding, Richard's easy smiles and praises, Father's lessons. He missed it all.
Vlad really wasn't the best at emotions or parenting really. He... cared for him but he was more that fun uncle you realize was really just crazy. Not he'd ever tell Vlad that.
"Let's go back to work."
"Are you sure? We can take a longer break?"
"We both know we can't afford it."
Things weren't going all that well. They had realized fairly quickly that the incubation was going to follow a real pregnancy timeline if not a little shorter up to the birth where they will just faze out when their ready. Vlad theorized it was a protective measure his body was doing to make the pregnancy less ghostly. He couldn't handle even a half-ghostly anything. The flight to the island drained him of all of the ectoplasm he was able to accumulate over the years despite the corruption.
Due to the corruptedness of the pits he was basically severely ecto-deprived and any ecto he gains goes to the two extra cores or fixing the corruption. He can't even make any ectoplasm anymore because of the corruption stopping it. He needs to get to the Infinate Realms as soon as possible or else neither him or his kids will continue to exist. Vlad was also weaker using his own ectoplasm to power things because the purified ecto was so much weaker than just natural.
The ectopods give him a boost but he was getting worse. The ectopods had failed Dan and Ellie to.
Vlad was starting to get a little protective and by a little he means not wanting to let him out of sight at all. Barely for a bathroom break. Ancients forbid he takes more than five minutes and Vlad pulls a sledgehammer out.
He may or not be going a little stir crazy. It was agonizing he's not used to dealing with this much attention. His parents in his first life were mostly focused on the portal or their work in general until they suddenly realized they had kids then showered them with affection just to forget about them just as quickly. The league of assassins and his mother don't need any explanation really, between training there wasn't much time for affection his mother sometimes did but it was always behind closed doors when noone was watching at all and that didn't happen near as much as you would think. His father wasn't really affectionate on anything, the most he would get for a mission gone right was a pat on the back and a "good job chum" and it often felt more forced with him than the others. Richard was quite affectionate with both his words and his actions. Getting a passing grade or winning a fight or even losing a fight seemed to be a cause of celebration. He was physical with his affection, hugs and kisses on the forehead, but even the second he started feeling uncomfortable he would pull away. Sometimes it was nice sometime he just wished he would push just a little further.
Vlad didn't have any of that. He was all antagonistic words, he didn't even always seem to mean it, it just happened with him. His attention nice for a while but got tiring and he couldn't just ask him to leave him alone because Vlad would take it wrong. He also never knew when to leave him alone. Like he didn't need to sleep in his room just cause he was having headaches and occasional nosebleeds he had that plenty with concussions before and had been able to treat it since he was 4 years old. He thinks if Vlad says one word more on 'taking a break' or 'drinking some more water' he was going to punch him in the face.
"You dont need to push yourself! you'll only end up in more pain just take a five minute break? Please think of the kids I'm also there father to you know!" There it is.
Damian while around and punched him in the face. The force and the surprise knocking him onto the floor.
"Damian! What the hell is your problem, young man!" He attempted to get up but he didn't let him. He easily swept his feet from under him and pushed him back down.
"I'm sick and tired of you always thinking you know what's best for me! Well news flash. You don't." He punched him in the face, expertly evading Vlads dodging. Vlad was powerful with powers but without them he was much more skilled.
"Stop this right now!" He'd have to make him.
And make him he did. Shit. He overestimated just how much ecto Vlad had been giving him because he stopped holding back his strength and shoved him off.
Crack.
Shit Vlad definitely either broke or cracked one of his ribs. He must of really pissed him off because that didn't stop him. He ran at him and kicked him in the throat. He gasped for air.
"Are we done yet?" Fuck you. He grabbed his legs and pulled him down. Almost straddling him and started to beat his face in. Vlad spit out blood but started to heal quicker than he could hurt him. Switching their positions he stsrted to choke him out. He choked for air but remembering his training, he quickly administerd a move that would have taken down any regular human down.
Vlad quickly recovered even angrier and threw him roughly at the glass of the lab shattering it and landing in it. He could feel the glass prickling against his skin. Bloody streaks painting his hands, glass embedded. He tried getting up but heard a loud gasp.
Susan stood hand over her mouth. Her skin pale and her hand gripped her tablet so hard he could hear creaks. He laid his head back down. He suddenly didn't feel like fighting anymore.
"Take him to the physician." Vlad spoke, voice distant and echoey. He couldn't resist the pull of darkness and fell under.
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After Clark shared his findings with the cave a month ago, Tim and Barbara have been hard at work trying to track the call, but meeting dead ends all around. Lex's security to tight and better than ever before.
Until, a new call came through.
"David! Oh David it's horrible!" She cried, her sobbing evident even through the poor phone service. They quickly got to work, everyone joining in around them. It had a two months since the last time they saw their littlest bat. No way where they letting the opportunity slip through their hands again.
"That little boy! He threw him through a window! He's been in and out of emergency surgeries for a week. A week! He had a punctured lung, an almost crushed larynx, a broken collarbone, and five cracked or broken ribs. Not to mention, he's covered in bruises and srapes from the glass! It's terrible! That little boy, just laying on the operating table, his heart stopped twice. Twice! Oh, David! I don't know what to do." She was in hysterics. Oh god, that was his brother. His baby brother.
He ignored the broken sobs around him and pushed his down.
"I've got it." Barbara announced, hse didn't sound relieved in any way but he understood they still had to save him and from what they heard from her, he may never fully recover.
"Supers, fly ahead, scout out. This is Lex, he's bound to have plenty of kryptonite." The supers flew out without even acknowledgeing their orders.
He paused. Please don't say it. Please
"Evrybody else... to the batjet."
It didn't really matter what he said anyway everybody in the cave was ready to go war, with or without Bruce.
A/N if yall think for one second that a relationship built from the ashes of one of the most traumatic moments in their lives is going to be perfect, yall kidding yourselves. Vlad is never going to be perfect he and damian/Danny will always be archenemys who may or may not have some fluffy moments they'll still have met because he wat trying to kill his father so he could marry his mother. Vlad desperately wanting him to be son is so obsessive and insane he creates a clone of him to be his kid. They may care for each other, but vlad will never truly be a good choice for Danny in general.
#bruce wayne#dp x dc#jason todd#dpxdc#damian al ghul#danny phantom#damian wayne#dcxdp#dick grayson#lex luthor#vlad as lex au#vlad plasmius#danny fenton#danny as damian au
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Daddy Dearest <3
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Girl dad!Leon x Mom!Reader
Blue for Leon pink for reader & purple for D/N
Desc: Despite his career path Leon has been developing pretty well to his girl dad life & revolves entirely around world around his wife & sweet little angel babygirl
Tags: Tooth Aching fluff, Dilf Leon, No smut ‼️‼️‼️, Just dad Leon living his dream! No use of y/n, D/n stands for Daughters Name
I'm very serious with you guys interacting with my writing!!!! it would make me so happy & excited, the more comments & reposts the more inspiration i have to write :) Votes and comments are strongly appreciated!!!
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Leon Loving his life was an understatement, He was a miserable guy not so long ago but it all changed once he met you & had his very first child! Of course after first he was worried about being a deadbeat father, but eventually he suited up and prepared for everything was to come, dropped his drinking habits, went to therapy for most of his trauma from working on the most messed up cases world wide known to mankind & even baby proofing the entire house you two shared for over 4 years.
He even went out of his way to take random target trips with you during your pregnancy to stare at nursery furniture and random trinkets and toys he found, holding up gender neutral baby clothing before knowing the gender & asking “you think this is cute sweetheart?” It was amazing how he became so obsessed with the thought of having his own little family with a white piket fence & beautiful front lawn garden (He started gardening as a coping mechanism which would soon be one of his top hobbies he brought onto his daughter.)
During the gender reveal he was nothing but pure excitement and joy to have a little baby girl that the next day he even went back to target and came home to baby-proof the entire house, testing objects to see if they would fall on a random baby doll etc, so much so that you had to go downstairs at 12 am and force him to take a break and come to bed, “You don’t think she’ll hit her head on the table one day right? I really wouldn’t want my little princess to get hurt” “I think you need to put down the baby proofing tools for the night & actually come to bed hun, it’s almost 1 o’clock”
Some days you would be in pure anguish because D/N would be doing pure gymnastics in your belly that Leon had to ‘have a talk’ but most of the time during your pregnancy he was always talking to your tummy, Asking her to relax on the jumping around in there, Sometimes waking up super early in the morning to talk to your belly & sometimes waking you up & hearing you tell him off a little bit in a muffled voice since you were buried in your body pillow. “Hi babygirl, you excited to get outta there & see your new room? Yeah? Oh I know your excited angel but you can’t keep kicking mama like this sweetheart it hurts her!”, “Can’t keep jumpin’ around in mommy’s belly sweetness your driving her insane sweetheart” “oh yeah!?You excited babydoll?” “Good morning my sweet girl, I can’t wait to see you y’know, mommy & I are so excited to meet you & hold you & love yo-“ “Leon what the hell are you doing awake at 5:30??” “Uh oh I woke up mom” “leon I swear to god if you don’t go back to sleep.”
And then came along the arrival of his awaited babygirl, he was so excited he even set up a little mini red carpet infront of her nursery & stars next to the door & even putting a little sign on your guys’ front door in bold glittery pink ‘Welcome Home Princess D/N” He even brought a little camera to make a home tape for every memory he makes with you & your daughter so when she is finally old enough she can watch, this tape includes her birthing where your shouting & screams could be heard such as “GOD FUCKING DAMNIT LEON!!” “I’M GONNA KILL YOU IN YOUR FUCKING SLEEP!”& his light crying of when she was born
After your daughter was born it was extremely difficult for you two to set a fair sleep schedule so for the first few weeks Leon would wake up at 2:30 AM whenever D/N was crying on the baby monitor and move the rocking chair placed in her room right next to the crib “What’s the matter sweetness? Can’t sleep again? I know babygirl it must be so tough trying to get your little beauty sleep huh?” He would slip his hand through the little bars of the crib and smile giddily every time she would wrap her little hand around his thumb, growing up was the most difficult for him, he cried every-time his sweet angel took her first steps, said her first word which was obviously a strained “da-da” which was to be expected since D/N was a total daddy’s girl. most of the time when he was off he would let you go to work so he could spend his days with your guys’ daughter, take her to the petting zoo, a random aquarium where she discovered her favorite animal was a sea horse, Leon’s entire existence revolved around D/N to the point where if her little fist was directed at something she wanted he bought it, she starts crying? He jumps right up to take her off your hands so you can relax, his entire world was revolving around her & you loved to see it, sometimes when you got home from work you’d see Leon on the living room floor with your daughter as she babbled playing with a random stuffed animal monkey “Hi honey, Took her to the petting zoo today, we discovered she really loves monkeys”
Some mornings when you would all sit at the table eating before the day started Leon would watch her in her high chair chew on whatever she had in-front of her causing a small mess where he would chuckle & clean up after her “Your just one messy little girl huh princess? Gonna have to teach you manners now little lady.” And then came the day where she got her very first booboo, I’m sure you can imagine what happened, Little D/N was running around the backyard chasing a butterfly while you & Leon just finished harvesting this falls apples and then randomly you heard a tiny little wail behind you causing Leon to jump up from the ground and scoop up his baby girl “Baby she has a cut on her knee we need to take her to the hospital now! Get in the car!” “Honey I think she’s alright nothing a little rubbing alcohol & a band aid can’t fix.” When the two of you went inside and into the bathroom he sat on the edge of the bath tub and sat little D/N on his knee while you rubbed some alcohol on her knee which reasonably made her wail out more than she did beforehand causing Leon to start tearing up and kissing the top of her head “I know angel I know it hurts but we can’t let your lil’ booboo get worse & nasty now can we?” Once you finished that 1 minute of anguish you two sat in the living room holding her close as you slightly teased Leon for his light crying “You love making daddy cry now don’t you honey? You know you have him tied up around your little finger huh” You joked while Leon grunted while worryingly making sure she didn’t hurt herself again
One day you caught him in her room when she was around 4 years old having a little tea party, he was sat in a chair next to her that was far to tiny for him to fit in as he wore a pink tiara around his head that was again to tiny for him & a pink fluffy tutu around his waist while fake sipping tea from the tea cup while causing her to giggle, You had just gotten home from work & leaned against the doorway smiling and holding in a laugh but Leon smiled back and stood up and had the tiny chair stuck on his ass causing you & D/N to laugh obnoxiously especially after he eventually was able to pull it off and walk over to you mumbling “shut up.” Before kissing you lightly & asking how your day went. Obviously because of his career he had to miss some important events at school for D/N and he felt AWFUL. He cried in your arms one night after returning from a 1 week trip where he missed father daughter school day where he imagined his poor babygirl sitting at her table in kindergarten watching everyone else with their dad while she had a confused expression. And every single night after that for a month straight he would have little sleepovers in her room where he read her bedtime stories, you know that one 3 little kitties book from despicable me? He obviously read that to her with the brightest smile on his face and once it was time for bed her would sleep on the floor right next to her toddler bed “Goodnight babygirl, daddy loves you so so much y’know that? You got his heart right in your little fist”
By the time she was 10 he was always helping her with school projects & homework & even going to father daughter dances with her, if
D/N wanted something all she had to do was ask and bat her little lashes, some days when he went to go pick her up from school with you in the car he would see her talking to a boy before running off to the car leaving him with a puzzled face “who the hell is that little twerp near my daughter? She does know he is not good enough for her right?” “Nuh-uh Leon, Don’t start let her have friend alright?” “Sweetheart just look at the little shit! He’s practically blushing looking at her right now!” “Oh stop it.”
Just imagine what it would be like when D/N is finally a teenager and brings a boy home for the first time..Leon makes it VERY clear nobody is good enough for his little girl & never will be, he is the entire reason why her standards will be extremely high…
xtripleiiix’s Masterlist
🏷️ List: @ginswife @coolpastelartshoe @greatkoalawizard @cokolin044 @kotoriarlert
#leon s kennedy rp#leon s kennedy fanfiction#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy fluff#dad!leon kennedy#girl dad!leon kennedy#god fucking help me#i made this
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