#god it's exhausting | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

halfdeadwallfly · 5 months ago

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so.. i accidentally touched a trash can which made me feel like my hand was burning so i went to go and wash it and in the process i nicked the faucet with my fingernail and i got like dirt(?) under it. which. terrifying???? anyway i started hyperventilating and my hand started burning again but worse and i was trying to figure out what to do bc i was in the bathroom of all unsafe places to be, so i like ran out to the hallway and my hands are covered in soap and water which feels unsafe enough as is, and everything is just dangerous and i feel like someone's wedged something under my fingernail and tried to pry it off me and i'm trying so hard not to scream again bc i don't want to freak my mom out and i'm still hyperventilating bc there's this unknown thing on me. so anyway. it took a bit to get it together enough to like. go back and wash my hands again. and now i'm like. completely exhausted. aaaaand i still feel like i can't breathe like an hour later :') i had lovely plans to go out this evening and maybe walk and watch the sunset but now i feel like death! point being. fuck ocd :)

#boink #vent #ocd #i think i might've had a panic attack?#idk #i don't really have those very often or very severely #but that might be the worst like contamination ocd event i can really recall #which is good ig #but still not so nice seeing as i'm supposed to be better after going to therapy and i am most definitely not #normally it's just like a general veneer of complication and anxiety on top of everything #but this was like #this was terrifying #i'm still kind of rattled ://#maybe i'm being overdramatic #i don't know :(#i'm super ticcy now too lol #unsurprising ig #and ofc i'm not actively panicking anymore #but still nothing really feels safe rn #my coffee cup smells like ice which is scary and my clothes were in the cabinet and maybe even on the floor so god knows what's on them #i'm glad i took a shower earlier today already or else i wouldn't hardly be able to move at all #i had to use some fertilizer in the garden and ofc it got on me bc gardening is messy so i already had to shower after that #unless i wanted to be stressed all day and contaminate my clothes and my bed and any food i wanted to make #not ideal #ough #it's just so fucking tiring isn't it #god it's exhausting #and what makes it worse is that i can't even deal with it on my own when everyone's around #and when everyone's around there's so much more chance that things are unsafe #it's been so much worse at home

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transcarcinization · 8 months ago

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okay i have a meeting today and then after the meeting i have to do that regrade request + hw for optics. and tmmr i have to get up super early and actually go to my iss class (i have not done this all sem) and ii also have to drop by j's office and sign timesheets. thursday i have to figure out the show and also study for my math exam on friday..... it'll all be fine probably

#show is stressing me out as it's one i really don't want to have to do w 2 people but no one else is free #i should have just cancelled it.... i don't want to now it's so so close to the show #i've been very much just handling things 1 day at a time recently. it's nice i can trust myself to do that and still get everything done bu #god it's exhausting

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bixels · 29 days ago

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In the past, people in the Animal Crossing community would make fun of Tom Nook as a sleazy landlord. Since then, he's really rehabilitated his image as this 'heart of gold' businessman (he's the one who puts bells and furniture in trees for you to find! he adopted orphans! he donates to charity!), but New Horizons genuinely paints the most devious version of him.

He's successfully privatized settler colonialism: you pay HIM to move to a "deserted island" (which apparently the oceans in the AC world are just full of) and start a colony that he is directly invested in. At best he's running a weird vacation package scam (you arrive on the island with no money and in debt for "using his services"). At worst, he's using you to set up company towns. For god's sake, he literally has his own fake currency that he forces you to use to pay off your debt. But don't worry, he's repackaged it in a way that definitely doesn't sound like an MLM scam: the Nook Mileage Program!

You're no longer just his tenant or his temporary part-timer, you're his business lackey. The entire tutorial section of the game has you spending actual weeks running around completing tasks and doing hard labor to set up his colony. You're even tasked with preparing his properties and finding buyers for them. No, you aren't a tenant anymore. You work for the landlord. You are directly responsible for finding tenants for him. And he doesn't even fucking pay you. Not for setting up town hall and museum, or his nephew's shop –– which is the ONLY store on the entire island that sells necessities –– or bringing KK Slider to town, or helping populate his town. Not a single cent. No, actually, you have to pay HIM to BUY infrastructure like bridges and stairs and park benches. And all the while, he's telling you're the "resident representative"; you get to call the shots! That the reward is the community's progress. That what you're doing is in everyone's best interest (but most importantly, his).

Since NH's release, people have done a lot of legwork to say that Tom Nook isn't a capitalist while the game shows him at his very worst. He owns the only general store in town. You're forced to use a phone that he modified and branded as his own. Buy Nook-branded furniture and merchandise at the self-serve kiosk in the town hall, a governmental building! There's no conflict of interest here!

But hey, if you're tired of being the landlord/business mogul's goon, you can also find work as a deluxe resort home designer for a company that also pays you in their special company currency that can only be used to buy their products instead of a real salary! Because that's what the Animal Crossing franchise needs! More vacation homes!!!

#this is a really long winded way to say i really really really really hate new horizon's storyline and player role #i really hate that not only your house but the entire TOWN. the whole COMMUNITY you're a part of is owed to tom nook's business #i really hate the “vacation getaway package” angle because it shows just how commercialized the entire premise of nh is #and how lost the game is in its original core concept #animal crossing is about the experience of moving to a new town and becoming a part of that community #just to compare: all past ac games have a similar opening #you're on a bus or train or taxi to someplace new. a stranger strikes up a conversation and you get to know them before arriving #new horizons opens with you at customer service desk filling out an client application before a flight.#in prev games working for nook in the tutorial is meant to be demeaning. you want it to be over with so you can actually start living life #but in new horizons working for tom nook IS your life. and it's so rewarding! don't you feel rewarded?#you aren't a person. you aren't a new neighbor. you're tom nook's client. and then his unpaid employee. and the game insists it's fun to be #that's how void the game is #because it's bad enough that a rpg life sim got turned into a sandbox game where you have to build the town yourself #but the only reason why you're building it is because the landlord who you're in debt to TOLD you to build it.#everything is a rewards program! everything is a tour service! be sure to do your daily tasks to earn nook bucks to spend on nook merch!#that really sucks imo.#i mean. the entire game is based around the vacationing industry. of course it all feels fake and temporary. it's only a vacation.#long post #rant #not art #god the fact that your starter villagers can't even decide where to live you have to decide for them #i've never played a game that does the opposite of handholding #where instead it's the PLAYER who has to handhold the npcs through everything. and newsflash!! it's really exhausting and boring

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junebugdunes · 5 months ago

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Welcome back to another episode of "I spent 10 hours making a fan comic instead of updating my OC refs"

#i am exhausted dear gOD I spent so long on this #anyways percy and ramsey hehehehehe #my favorite two goobers #epithet erased #epithet erased fanart #percy king #percival king #ramsey murdoch #my art

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blushedfemmes · 2 months ago

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slut autism is a curse because i was designed in a lab to reach pure sensory ecstasy during sex but actually having sex in these wacky modern times requires constantly responding to messages on a piece of metal that doesn’t feel real to me and i suck at it so bad so idk. if you want this pussy write me a letter

#blushing #am i the only person fucking exhausted by messaging….#i want to connect with people so bad. i wanna hear their stories. and yeah i wanna fuck nasty #but oh my god. i cannot keep doing this 😀#personal

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turtletoria · 2 months ago

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one downside to digital mediums of art is that you cant see the tear stains (they just slide down the screen)

#turtlearts #tf2 #team fortress 2 #not even gonna lie i dont think ive ever struggled to draw as much as i had during this time #these are also a couple months old . and oh my god #i literally thought i was going insane. deep in the clutches of 3/4 head hell and i couldnt escape #like no sleep levels of drawing the same thing again and again until i either got exhausted or just gave up #when the therapist and psych nurse i had at uni said that i have ocd tendencies maybe they were onto something lowkey #side note but thanks to tf2 spy i got a butterfly knife trainer bc i wanted to do tricks #unfortunately i lost the knife :(( but i did learn a couple (really simple) tricks which was neat :)

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cangrellesteponme · 8 months ago

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wife

#yeah i'm not dead woo let's celebrate #my art #kuroshitsuji #kuroshitsuji fanart #black butler #black butler fanart #grelle sutcliff #grell sutcliff #anyway i didn't draw SHIT for a good while and when i got back to it i suddenly hated using the flat marker brush???#it's part of what makes my signature distinctive so i used it for that but yeah i switched brushes #oddly enough i'm not hating the more textured look? it gets very pixelated at times but it's not awful #back to the signature- it felt weirdly nice to sign things again #i haven't in a while #if you're one of the very few people who also follow me on instagram you'll know i don't use it on there #and the only art i've been doing these days has been original work so yeah nothing on tumblr #and thus the words 'brain exhaustion god stan' have not been written by this comically large hand in a hot minute #enough rambling this is just grelle art because i love her and i know y'all love her too so i thought it would be a nice comeback piece

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hinamie · 26 days ago

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completely innocuous vash sheet :) fr practice

#my art #trigun stampede #trigun #vash the stampede #trigun vash #trigun stampede fanart #trigun fanart #vash fanart #STILL dont know the tags gomen ill do research one of these days #anyway . 4 gd days later hes finally done #here is what i am learning . i love his design sm. but jesus CHRIST #all the individual elements r so time consuming i want to tear my face off. im slowly getting more familiar w the arm but God.#im so peeved at how long this took but i am trying to cut myself some slack. remembering tht his design is a 24 hour endeavour #and i drew 4 of him #3 of which being fullbody 2 of which being foreshortened 1 of which being a Maid Dress #the price i pay fr self-indulgence.....the price i pay fr [redacted]#this started out as a treat fr me n it became my purgatory #but it is DONE and now i can look at vash in a maid outfit and tied up and jacket off turtleneck Out and shirtless and- *is shot dead*#anyway huge shoutout to mey rin black butler fr being the og Maid With Gun #stole the thigh bustle from a panel of her it was just too good #anyway take it enjoy the fruits of my labour enjoy him i am . exhausted.

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miikanui · 2 months ago

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live laugh love an shiraishi

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teaboot · 1 year ago

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Cant wait for the age of enlightenment that will come when we all collectively realize that serial killers aren't highly-capable savant geniuses toying with police and the media for grand and complex reasons but are actually usually just random dumbfucks who stumbled into the golden ratio of 'low-empathy sadist with bad reasoning skills hates women/kids/sex/other races and wants to feel powerful, happens to be in an area with a poor investigative force, gets away with it one time and gets fucking cocky' cause I'm kinda getting tired of it

#Murder cw #serial killers cw #God it's exhausting how are you not tired

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b0tster · 1 year ago

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good to know that reddit is still months behind the curve as they are currently having the 'worse graphics' discourse where it immediately devolved into hating on the trans woman oc in 'that picture' that just got reposted lmfao

#liliths mind #god its so exhausting

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hesperocyon-lesbian · 1 year ago

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I’m so fucking tired of this stupid fucking resurgence of people arguing that misandry is real or a coherent form of oppression at all so I wanna address this more directly. Most of the arguments I’ve seen rely on the fact that men are harmed and constrained by the patriarchy, and you know what, that’s true!

But cis people are harmed and constrained by the existence of the gender binary. That doesn’t mean that cisphobia is real. Straight people are harmed and constrained by heteronormativity, but that doesn’t make heterophobia real.

I really thought this stuff was obvious but I guess it isn’t. I need all of you who are complaining about “misandry” to understand that you sound like the down with cis bus post

#transmisogny #god I’m so exhausted by this #some of you are so desperate to prove that women are oppressing you

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curse-of-dming-strahd · 2 months ago

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Oh right... The curse. The curse of Strahd. The curse chosen specially to torture Strahd, Strahd’s curse.