#god im tired time to go to bed
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todayisafridaynight · 6 months ago
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#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 3#yakuza series#yakuza 3#yoshitaka mine#snap sketches#i was thinking about all the weird mine variants that exist and theres more than i thought there was#i JUST wanted to do suit variants tho none of the extra okinawa and new year rggo cards. and a bare variant#because i can ...... also cause i needed to exercise the knowledge that his plushie's undies are white SOMEHOW#funny enough the only time i like properly assembled mines colors was on my kirin mine sheet so yay for a semiproper color sheet#anyway. the grey suit's inspo'd from the date scene in y3- that shot with him and kanda#i chose a brown tie to act as an in-between transition from blue tie to gold tie#the rggo cards are forever funny to me but while i was drawing these i remembered that for some reason#with the newest card mine's sleeve is. white ???????? its white .#i only realized this after posting these to twitter so if you saw this there first and are like 'girl his sleeve changed color'#Thats Why <- literally no one is thinking that#ok i have nothing else to say probably im gonna eat one more bowl of pasta then go to bed#i keep mentioning kirin mine so maybe ill doodle one of my things with that tomorrow ..#if not i have stuff i wanna draw tomorrow so if im not tired after grocery shopping Theres That To Look To#ok bye its pasta time <- has decided to make pasta my personality for june#oh my god wait its june now jesus christ. yeah happy pride month ive finally drawn mine again#ok bye bye pasta's calling my name
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the-holy-ghosted · 5 months ago
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im fighting art or something. cant promise ill do much but ill do my best. look at my characters, boy
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kaisollisto · 29 days ago
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innalheid · 2 months ago
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Feeling very Ascension by Gorillaz ft Vince Staples at 2:18
#i need to solve a puzzle or some shit. god. fuck.#i cant concentrate on anything i cant fall asleep i cant stay asleep i cant stay awake i cant wake up on time#i hate depression 😒 and all the other things wrong with me yknow#i need to do something like. good for me. but its so damn hard to drag myself into doing that too#brain. stop being so foggy. please.#im even like. im eating im drinking water. i could probably like do some sort of exercise but everything makes me so tired.....#like even a walk yknow? i do my shift at work and im at 3% battery. i dont. i dont know what to do man#and i dont even wanna die about it???? im actively NOT suicidal for once#like are you kidding me??? ive been suicidal for like over a decade and for once#my brain is still popping up like have you considered killing yourself? 🤔 but im Genuinely not swayed by it at all#which is weird. and probably good. but now i just feel like. numb#stuck. stagnant. foggy. can we PLEASE cut through this fog and have some meaningful brain functions for a little bit. brain. cmon#i dont wanna die but i *do* wanna sleep for like. three days#i want a week off where i have NOTHIN to do#genuinely nothing to do. chores are done work is on pause i need nothing creeping in at the edges thinkin bout#ohhhhh you should be doing this instead..........youre wasting your time........do a task.....#but i cant i cant do a task. i cant. and its so frustrating and i feel bad about it#id feel much worse about it if my BRAIN wasnt as foggy as fucking SAN FRANCISCO#and i keep trying like. healthy ways of ''feeling something'' like hobbies i like or yummy food#nothin. does fuckin nothin. i get off and it gives me a Little bit of clarity Maybe. like#no wonder bad coping mechanisms happen yknow??? its an absolute fucking miracle i havent taken up smoking#anyway. i need to go to bed. tomorrows gonna be a long day. if you feel so inclined send me mental love or something. im fuckin tired folks.
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erythriina · 3 months ago
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oof holy shit. someone clap for me !!!
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britneyshakespeare · 6 months ago
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screw whatever else i've said; the most important thing you can do in this lifetime is watch tv
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I have been awake coming up on 31 hours and its made me realise how LAZY my cat is
She sleeps so much
And like fair I would like to do that too if I didnt have a job, or bills, or neighbours but damn girl arent you thirsty? Hungry? She needs to hydrate
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stinkyhyena9000 · 1 year ago
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FInally just got to watch Sing 2 for the first time in a month or so (I'm a very busy gal) and ohmygod I just remembered why I love Sing 2 so much: the ending.
The entire performance of Out of This World is great, but I'll only be going over Clay's part and thereafter.
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Seeing Clay down breakdown, and hearing his voice softly apologize about not being ready. It really shows how vulnerable he is, and how even if we put on a brave face and think we're ready, loss and mental struggle is not just something done quick and easy. Furthermore, it really means a lot to see him here, finally putting of his whole facade and finally letting loose a second time.
Speaking of which, I actually wanna look back in earlier parts of the movie (still within the time frame of the performance). During the time where everyone gets ready and the scene where Meena and Alfonso singing, we get to see glimpses of Clay sighing and staring deeply at his guitar case, like he knows what's inside it is going to hit him emotionally, and hit him hard.
Back to the show, when we see Ash first exit, we can see her alone, sing the songs Clay have sung before. Clay sees this, and he sees himself within her. (See me later for how they're so father-daughter). He sees this, and realizes that he can do this too, and he's not alone either.
I also want to note that Ash's quills actually do sort of resemble a white mane here. (2nd pic from later in the song)
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We can even see Ruby's ghost come in behind Clay, kinda sort of saying "get in there, she needs you." I like to think it's also a little call back when Ash asked Clay if Ruby would've wanted him to give up on music.
The theatre is flooding with lonely silence as she sings, even though it's full of people, similar to how people going through depression may feel lonely when surrounded with love. The crowd eventually chimes it, but it still feels close to that same way still.
And then BOOM, we get chills when we get hit with that first guitar. As soon as we start to hear him, the room fills with life as well. We hear applause from the crowd. We hear percussion. It's just great.
Now before I continue, I just want to mention. This scene is probably one of the best animated scenes throughout all of Sing 2. They did just such fantastic work on his facial animations. I can say that for every Clay scene in Sing 2, but especially here. And they didn't just do a fantastic job with facial animations, but all animation here.
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GUESS WHAT BABY. IM BRINGING IN LYRICS TOO!! (of course I am). So, this part also goes with the following lyrics
I believe in the Kingdom Come Then all the colours will bleed into one Bleed into one But yes, I'm still runnin'
I like to believe the lyric about running can be interpreted two ways. Firstly, it can be interpreted as a call back to him running from his emotions, in constant denial over his loss of Ruby. Another way of seeing it is him running towards, trekking on through all the hardships he has faced.
Back to the actual movie, I just want to mention: bro is getting groovy with it. You can se by the way he moves his body that he is really getting into the music, especially after 15 years
Later on in the song, we actually see Ash and Clay look at each other, kind of like thanking each other. Clay, thanking Ash for getting him out of that rut, and helping him to continue onward. Ash, thanking Clay for coming to the show, and being her idol for who knows how many years.
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Oh yeah, lyric time again! Here they are
You broke the bonds And you loosed the chains Carried the cross of my shame Of my shame You know I believe it
Ash is the one who broke Clay's bonds of that rut he was in, and she buried the cross of his shame by never making him ever feel bad about what he was going through, but being understanding with him.
Anyways, back to the main summary. God I love the song. I love how you can see the pure unadulterated hope and joy enter Clay's face as he sings his song. I love how you can see the moment he's officially caught his second-wind.
I mean, look at this face and tell me it doesn't make you feel all warm and inside. It doesn't give you hope for a better tomorrow.
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Unfortunately, I can't include any more images at the moment, but I can still go on.
Anyways, now we're moving onto the next famous bus scene. You know the one that plays that one song. We all love it.
It's just so great seeing all the cast members finally interact with each other again after being separate for a lot of the movie doing their own stuff. It's just a great reminder on how they really are just one big family. Even better is seeing how quickly Porsha, Nooshy, and Clay were integrated into it. Sure, the other two had some time to warm up but Clay? Clay just got here, and yet he's still already seen part of the family, and I'm really glad to see it.
The camera angles and lighting here and before are also just plain phenomenal. They really do a fantastic job with the camera and the different views of the different characters, and the warm lighting just does a fantastic job.
Super random but Clay also does a nice sigh here, and it really just speaks words. You can tell that that sigh was long overdue, and how he's just so ready to keep going and not be so caught up in not letting go. He's finally allowing himself to relax. Around the same time, we also see Ash cuddle up to Clay, and I just love the idea of Ash seeing Clay as a father figure. It's so good and true.
Oh and do NOT get me started on that song. I could really ramble on about it all day, but I'll try to keep it short. (Mostly) each character was saved by music, and that really makes the music fit. It's also worth noting that FUNFACT. Bono and U2 kinda made that song for funsies too.
(Quick summary of what happened: Bono teased wanting to make a song because the story of Clay spoke to him so deeply. Jennings wasn't actually expecting it to happen, but then Bono literally gave him a demo at the end of his first recording session)
And now we get to The Majestic. It is just plain gorgeous, and it really shows off of Sing 2 could've been just jaw-dropping gorgeous the entire way through given they were able to utilize their setting a lot more. LOOK AT THAT CITYSCAPE!! THOSE PRETTY LIGHTS!!
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And then we also see just a lot of nice and comforting smiles. I mean come on, look at the guy!! It's so awesome seeing Buster Moon so unbelievably proud of what he's accomplished.
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And then of course we cannot forget the final part. I'm sure everyone knows this by now, but it's so amazing and invigorating seeing Sing 2 end the same way Sing 1 started, like Buster is finally a kid again. It's just an awesome throw-back. I really don't see how Sing 3 can top this.
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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 2 months ago
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I was just listening to a song I used to love while we were friends. I listened to it so often, we talked so often, it became the background music to our relationship.
I'm listening to it while I knit. I often forget that I started knitting because of you. I remembered tonight. It's strange, I never knitted anything for you. I've knitted for other loved ones, rarely for myself, but never for you. I remembered you showing me the amazing things you made, and I wished I could get to that level of skill. But at that time, you had to explain to me how to purl because I couldn't get it.
Everything reminds me of you in a terrible way. Everything I do is an echo of you. I started painting so that I could paint for you. I started knitting to bond with you. I hear your voice in the music I listen to. You're haunting the things that I love. Will I ever make a brush stroke or stitch without you on my mind?
#i should be able to block all music i listened to on Spotify from 2018-2020. i was not doing well and i dont need the reminders pls#im fine this was just kinda reflective#so much of what i do was inspired by her. i havent spoken to her in three years. we havent been friends for five#but my first painting was a gift to her. i started knitting because she knitted. i got so much music from her#we bonded heavily over music. and i used it to cope after she left. so unfortunately shes mixed into so much of it#she got me into dnd which got me into a different ttrpg im playing now (unknown armies)#shes a big reason i applied to the summer camp i worked at for six years#and a big reason i took the position i had the last two years. and the reason i told our camp legend (long story)#she was in my christmas in july gift i gave and received this year#i dont think ill ever be able to forget her. on good nights thats a good thing. its reassuring. she'll always be with me#but on bad nights. i feel like im never going to stop missing her#i was knitting tonight while listening to music. as the post suggests. and i was just overcome with her#this is the bed i was in when she called and left me. this is the bedroom we used to video call to practice sign language in#oh theres another one. i was going to be an asl interpreter. years ago in another life. i always practiced with her#we're both autistic and asl is easier than speaking a lot of the time#fuck. it reminds me of the ship of theseus. its 2:30am so i wont be able to explain well but#no actually i tried and i cannot explain. youll just have to understand. some days i wish i ciuld replace all the parts that were her#and sometimes im so afraid to lose the parts that were her because thatll feel like losing her#if i ever consciously decided to stop knitting (which i may have to do soon) it will feel like im replacing a board that was hers#how many of my boards are hers? are any of hers mine anymore? how many of hers can i lose before shes gone?#that last one was asked with fear and hope. and fear. depending on the day#god im tired. goodnight
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seventh-district · 10 days ago
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#vent#vent post#cw negative#Seven’s Public Diary#wish i wasn’t so fucking worthless and useless and stupid and selfish and mean#i am just so goddamn sick of my own bullshit. but i never change#i’m so tired of being weighed down by my 56492 mental illnesses. i don’t like being like this#my sleep schedule is so fucked up again and im tired of this constant cycle#this constant fight and endless effort to stay on a goddamn routine#all i want for christmas is a goddamn consistent sleep schedule#i hate sleeping through the day and being up all night but it’s like my body was fucking built for that or something#i don’t like it!! i want to be an early bird who goes to bed at 8pm and wakes up before the sun rises!!! but im the exact opposite!!!!!!!#i wish i just didn’t need to sleep at all. that would be the ideal. so many problems would be solved.#no i Really wish i just had the ability to fall asleep and wake up whenever i actually Want To instead of my body calling the shots#fell asleep at 9 this morning and im so mad that i didn’t get up when i was woken up at 11#a 2hr nap would’ve been fine and i would’ve made it through the rest of the day and been able to fucking sleep again tonight#but noOOooOoOo i had to give in to the allure of my warm cozy bed and fall back asleep for 9 more goddamn hours#now once again im too awake and rested to be able to go back to sleep. but once morning rolls around im gonna be exhausted again#and i’ll either give in and attempt to take a ‘nap’ and it’ll turn into a 12hr sleep again#or i’ll have to like. walk laps around the fucking house just to keep myself awake through the day#and i’ll be super irritable as a result and make everyone around me miserable too#but everyone is already beyond fed up with my issues and behavior. rightly so i guess. so i lose either way#god there was so much stuff i was gonna/supposed to do today#i don’t know how much longer they’re gonna put up with me being such a deadbeat#you think that��d like. motivate me to get my shit together or something but no. i’m addicted to being unconscious i guess#sleep feels so fucking good. until i wake up. which is funny bc it’s all nightmares and stress dreams anyway. why do i even enjoy sleeping#i guess bc for the first few hours after waking up i experience some modicum of relief from my other mental illnesses’ symptoms#like a soft reset.#and it’s the Only thing that gets rid of my migraines so god forbid i get one of those bc then i Have to sleep regardless of the time of day#anyways! :) that’s enough whining for one vent post. time to go do something productive
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trying to decipher if the overwhelming dread & Thoughts are cause of the state of the world or cause i need a shower.
vent post in the tags. idk. do whatever 👍
#sorry bros im about to ventpost in these mf tags 👍#im so fucking tired man. im already suicidal to begin with but the Everything happening is making it Worse. Yippe Yahoo Hooray.#therapy in a week though so ive got that at least.#this is the worst time of year for shit to go south.but Uh Oh saying that makes me feel like a selfish fuckass because other people -#- have it worse. like. god fucking damn. i get Extra suicidal around september -> march range sure. but other people are literally suffering#like as we fucking speak. and ive done fuckall to help cause i dont know HOW to help. but thats not a fucking excuse#im just being comfortable in my lazy ass depression spiral cause im a selfish fucking prick. “i cant spare the energy to vett things”#other people are fucking dying and im over here like “noo im too tiwed :( i cant do anyfing so im not gona do anyfing cuz im wazy and tiwed”#what the fuck is wrong with me lmao. knowing me im not gona change shit anyway despite fucking complaining about it cause im just. fucking#Like That.#idk. i was reblogging some of those “hold in there dont kill yourselves” posts cause like. yk. suicide bad or fucking whatever. but someone#on this site said something along the lines of “ok but how many people reblogging/posting these told jews to kill themselves” and like.#i dont know. i dont fucking know dude. so i guess im not reblogging Those anymore.#theres bigger issues out there and here i am focusing on some queer people who might kill themselves. idk. i should just join them yk#cause i never fucking focus on the bigger shit cause “i dont know how” and “i dont want to make things worse so i just wont do anything” so#im not doing fuckall other than just being part of the fucking problem here.#i should probably just delete social media for a while and see from there.#or just fucking drink about it thats the other option. its worked for me before (lie) so i may as well do it again am i right#im sorry i never like. boost gofundmes or fundraisers and shit i just.#i dont have a fucking excuse. im just a lazy fucking bastard in my own stupid fucking comfort circle.#“oh no seeing that people are dying makes me uncomforyable :(” ok well people are fucking dying you self absorbed douchebag. why cant you#get off your stupid fucking ass and do something. get a job so you can fucking help people or *something#its not like you have to pay rent and shit.#<- all about myself. cause yk. self centered douchbag. hooray.#i dont pay rent and i dont have to pay for my own food. i still live with my parents. im fucking useless to society so i may as well get a#job and send the money i dont fucking need to somrone who DOES need it. but here i am.#in.my stupid fucking bed til noon cause “the world is scary and jobs are hard :(”#its fucking retail. retail isnt as fucking hard as like. construction and shit but here i am anyway “unable” to do shit.#i fucking could if i just fucking ballsed up and put up with shit. but no. here i fucking am going “nooo i should just kill myself instead”#vent post
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low-battery-warniing · 1 month ago
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vent sorta. idk im just yapping tbh
oh fuck I just realized that I’ve been getting suicidal thoughts since the age of ten isn’t that sooooooo fun
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uitzinnigmp3 · 4 months ago
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floral-hex · 5 months ago
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I’m so tired. I’m always tired. This suuuucks. and I’m sad and shitty. I know it’s only been a couple of weeks, but I don’t think remeron is a workin for me. Accidentally typed “wormin for me” at first. I wish it was wormin for me. Why won’t you worm for me?😔
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the-tiniest-demigod · 7 months ago
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oh my god it is actually so bad today
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micamone · 5 months ago
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hey guys
#vent#just... gimmie a sec im gonna put it in the tags i cant find the readmore on my phone rn#im havin a straight up not good time but not the worst in the house!#the worst is my cat. whose old and dying. and i have no money to put to sleep to fuckin put us both outta this misery#typical. she cant get a heart attack and go fast like my moms dog#shes gotta wail and be ill for a month while im recovering from one surgery and trying to get ready for the next#its also an amazing time for my ocd that i learned i have from artists on hear explaining what it is to send me into spirals#over germs. but shes just 20 with teeth and respiratory issues her whole life and been struggling with constipation#so i KNOW how shes dying. shes backed up and hungry and dehydrated but feeling bloated still and not eating or drinking.#shes probably got arthritis and has been moving like a geriatric for a while but its to the point now she wont even lay down. shes just#perched on a pile of towels in the bathroom dozing and occasionally crying for me to come pet her. im so fuckin tired#and theres nothing i can do! the vet i could find a timeslot for in a reasonable time said 500$. so thats cool. im paying 1000$ for me in#a week for my stuff and its just. god all she and i are doing is crying and it sucks ass#she wants company for comfort and i dont blame her - so the fuck do i!#but i cant sit in the bathroom with her my damn legs keep going numb. and my roomate 1) cant emotionally buoy me thru this#and 2) has a long work day tomorrow and its already mad late. sigh#dont try to offer me condolences ive worked thru her dying already its just now we're botb exhausted in the form its taking#if anything i just need another distraction to keep me from spiraling over something again#edit: ARUGH AND THE OTHER CAT THROWING UP IN THE OTHER ROOM. GOD DAMN IT#the younger one has so many allergies and wont stop fucking eating things off the floor babygirl i am BEDRIDDEN you gotta stop eating shit#off the floor!!!!!!!! you have specialty food for a reason!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#awesome it was right in my bed
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