#god i love this family. they're unhinged.

[jaqobis]

truly think one of the other lowkey funniest moments in hdm is when mrs coulter says she and asriel should've kept and raised lyra. like it's such a poignant scene, and i see where she was coming from, but also she was completely wrong. oh god. if there are two people who should not be around a child it's asriel "child killer" belacqua and marisa "child torture, for science" coulter. like, mostly staying away from lyra for a lot of her childhood was in fact the best thing they could've done for her. good job team. that is not the thing to regret here

[pangolin-404]

officially finished yellowjackets s2 I'm hrghrgnrghrnggnng <- rabid

[evilminji]

Okay but? We of the DPxDC? Are COMPLETELY Sleeping on DPXBNHA?

And not even for the Main Plot Shenanigans!

Just?? It has ALL of DC's super powers? But MORE OF THEM. And like 80% of the population has um! Danny can?? Finally achieve his DREAM of being???

JUST SOME DUDE™!

Yeah, he's in Japan. That's a bit of a learning curve. And YEAH, there was a cataclysmic war like a few centuries back that sorta... fucked everybody up. No one wants to talk about it. There may be mass graves and Never Forget memorials. But?

On the SURFACE!

This place seems utopian!

No ghost hunters! Advanced technology! Robust social services*!

Wait... what was that asterisk? What do you mean "corrupt shadowy government organizations"? What do you MEAN "Immortal Supervillians"? NO SPACE PROGRAM!?!? AaaaaAAAAAAAAAAH?!?!? I'M IN HELL!!! This is ACTUALLY THE BAD PLACE, THIS IS HELL, OH GOD NOOOOOOO-!!!!!!

Cause see?

There are SO MANY REASONS he'd end up there?

Think about it! Wish that he lived somewhere his weird biology wouldn't exclude him from becoming an astronaut? In Quirks having Bnha Japan EVERYBODY has weird biology! Y'ain't special! You could TOTALLY be an astronaut!..... if we HAD those! We do not. Shut down that program during the Quirk Wars and never really started it again. (And somewhere, Desiree LAUGHS)

Or MAYBE? Things are getting a little hot on the ground? Bit TOO spicy. The Family Fenton and Friends have fallen back, behind the barely holding shields. Not even the Mansons considerable political maneuvering could stop the inevitably of human fear and blind unthinking hatred. Money can't buy everything, in the end. There is only ONE(1) way out.

Through the Zone.

Plan: Strangers In A Strange World is a go.

They're all Limnal enough to fake it. Sam with her plants. Tucker with his technology and persuasion. Jazz with her limited empathy. Their parents with their... well, weirdness. And with a touch of ghostly assisted meddling? Well, they've always BEEN there! Haven't they?

And that's not to MENTION the random 4 year olds with no control! JUST coming into their powers! With all those big emotions in tiny bodies? Startling events and tantrums? Villian attacks? What could THEY possibly hope to do to control or guide that fresh new power? It does what it does and the rest of us are just along for the ride!

If Danny happens to be minding his business and gets accidentally kidnapped by a VERY distraught 4 year old? Well, that's hardly the KIDS fault, now is it? They're FOUR! That is basically a toddler! Tiny child! They are upset, confused, and didn't mean to do ANYTHING. He's a hero. And Heros don't blame little kids from accidents, no matter HOW stressed it makes them.

No, the curse like a sailor INSIDE their head. Like an ADULT.

Just? Imagine~☆

The slow transition from *starry eyed shoujo sparkles* "This is SO COOL~!" to "huh, that's... kinda weird. And Sus. Weird Sus. Maybe nothing... oh! A distraction!" To "okay, this KEEPS happening, that was shady. You all saw that right? You realize that's not NORMAL, right? That that's fucked up? Not cool?" To "oh god, oh God, OH GOD! I'm in HELL! This is actually HELL! I'm trapped in HELL!!! WHAT THE FUC-"

Like? This kid LOVES space. LOVES the stars. And this is one of the few Superhero Cannon that SPECIFICALLY MENTIONS that IN CANNON? Thanks to Quirks? As in Superpowers? That VERY THING got fuckin SCRAPPED. Gutted. Consigned to be a relic of the past so they could all focus on punching each other Real Good.

He would weep BLOOD. Chew the WALLS. The LEVEL of unhinged this child would unleash? Not as Danny Phantom... but as DANNY J. FENTON? Beautiful. Vaguely psychotic. Definitely doing the Fenton Name proud. God, the NOISE HE WOULD MAKE would be inhuman and yet somehow? Come entirely from his human half.

They👏 Would👏 Hear👏 BOSS👏 MUSIC👏

I don't even know if he'd CARE about the main characters. They'd be tangential at best. The man would be in a one man war with I-Island over their lack of space program and hoarding of scientific progress. Probably living out of an abandoned building or forgotten subway station. Just? The MOST bedraggled, feral genius to ever haunt Japan.

As opposed to the REFINED feral genius. Who is Nedzu.

I bet Danny stands outside his school at one AM waving his scientific papers at a camera and YELLS. Like a deranged lunatic. Mismatched slippers and a "haven't slept in a week" crazed glint in his eyes.

He's Nedzu's new best friend. They GET each other.

And, yes, Nedzu COULD let him in... but it's faster to just let him yell and read the papers through the camera. Who CARES if they both seem insane! Let's shout about advanced physics and engineering at 1 am! Over the speakers!!! Oh? You need to physically SHOW me the notes? Well I COULD unlock the gates... OR just wait for you to finish scrambling up the walls like a feral Racoon, to then throw yourself OVER them.

Either, Or.

I'm just SAYING! We are SLEEPING on this! There is so, SO much fun to be had! Danny breaks rules and minds! His outrage over injustice and the complete lack of SPACE! His protection instincts going BUCK FUCKIN WILD. The INDESCRIBABLE hate boner he would have for Mr. "Lemme just rip parts of your soul out so I can collect your powers like pokemon cards" AfO.

There? Is SO MUCH, guys. SO MUCH!

@hdgnj @the-witchhunter @babbling-babull @hypewinter @nerdpoe @lolottes @dcxdpdabbles @mutable-manifestation

[byfulcrums]

been rewatching rtte

toothless is called T multiple times, but the letter T doesn't exist in the alphabet of this world

i think hiccup was also called H???

hiccup went to the wedding of the man who tried to kill him and his family multiple times. no wonder he thought he could change drago's mind

snotlout is canonically a theater kid

"you're so small and cuddly" "please never say that again"

the twins are really smart, but they're also just stupid

hiccup straight up disappears when he's working on something

heather had a super noticeable crush on astrid

fishlegs got a love interest!! a plus size main character actually has a cool, badass love interest!

it was super hetnormative but it was cute

there was an island full of flying women who were implied to regularly commit cannibalism

hiccup taught all the riders how to fly with toothless, that's so sweet

everyone is a flat earther except for the twins

hiccup almost directly killed a lot of people

and killed a LOT more when destroying their ships

“scalding– cal..ding--" "toothle, plama bla!" was pretty much the funniest part of the entire series

dagur was bullied as a kid by a guy 8 years older than him who literally tattooed an imagine of him beating up little dagur in his arm??? What was that all about

actually we need to talk about how messed up everything about dagur is and about how the things that could've/did happen(ed) to him may be the reasons why he's Like That

just why was he imprisoned by the outcasts??? he didn't do anything to them directly

oof my brain is spiraling. "he loved you" "ig now we'll never know" what do you mean he didn't know if his dad loved him

there's a technically musical episode

tuffnut became hiccup's defense attorney and immediately got him the death sentence

hiccup regularly jumps off cliffs

he also jumped off a boat, with his arms tied and without toothless. just where did he think he was going

snotlout's annoying attitude is actually because spitelout pressures him too much and he feels like he has to be perfect for his dad :((

THE 'HICCUP'S EVIL MIRROR' VILLAIN THEME DONE RIGHT YESS!!!

viggo is the best httyd villain change my mind (you can't, swords at sundown, you may bring backup but i will win on my own)

skrill comeback skrill comeback SKRILL COMEBACK!!!!

"COMEEE TO DADDY"

what is a boar pit???

oh my god i had missed this series so much. it has no right to be this funny

this was my childhood. it has forever shaped the way i am

berserker heather the unhinged >>>

actually good disability rep! yay

hiccup complains about his peg leg pinching him

he straight up cannot walk without it and it is shown many times

"well, there are the benefits of a metal leg" after it got caught in a bear trap

funny moments, like snotlout trying to steal it to use it as a weapon

the jokes!! toothless laughing at the jokes!!! hiccup being so fucking done with the twins, who are always making the jokes!

there's an episode where everyone is so sleep deprived they actually start spiraling

astrid becomes a happy go lucky girl, hugs snotlout and tells him he's handsome

the fucking mood swings snotlout got were insane

the twins were straight up just hallucinating

"i sent them to wash their dragons, how could they mess that up?" cut to heather falling on her face with a bucket full of water in her hands

fishlegs becomes so paranoid, he's yelling at everyone all the time

"don't you know the trapper's trap can trap the trapper?? ...oh gods, i must be losing it, i'm quoting dagur"

YOOOO VALKA!!!! it's so nice to see her

hiccup tried to murder dagur to stop him from getting to toothless, which is scary bc it shows just how far he's willing to go for his bff, but also funny because hiccup. that was not going to work

oh the hiccstrid slowburn, how i have missed you

the twins's made up language

there was a beach episode turned murder mystery and a musical episode held at gun point

hiccup has a whole little speech that he periodically gives astrid to remind her that the twins serve a purpose

[whatwooshkai]

"put this guy in earthspark" "put that guy in earthspark" I think you are all correct but I've been thinking about it so here's who I would love to see in earthspark and why:

-sunstreaker and sideswipe (this show is all about family when was the last time the twins were on screen together huh. they are speedster twins twitch and thrash would love them)

-ironhide (would be plotting megatron's demise the second he saw him. like optimus' scary dog who barks every time megatron gets too close "he don't bite" "YES HE DO")

-jazz and prowl (I think they should show up together. I think prowl needs someone to handle people for him because if he showed up by himself it would not end well. also I love jazz and find their dynamic fun, plus jazz would love the terrans)

-ratchet and deadlock (specifically deadlock. it would be so funny. imagine ratchet comes into camp and they're like "holy shit thank god finally an actual medic who can help us" but look he's got the cybtertronian equivalent of a feral attack dog following him that adores him and hates everyone else and he's not doing anything about it)

-thundercracker and buster (GIVE HIM HIS DOG!! bonus points if skywarp and starscream are like "oh we don't know about thundercracker. we lost him years ago. we hope one day to find him and welcome him with open arms" and this whole time he's had a dog and been writing screenplays like "oh they know I'm fine" [they don't])

-first aid (I love ratchet but bro's been dominating the medical field. put first aid in. or literally any other medic actually. put fucking pharma in and let him go wild. that would be fun. but back to first aid I love his character and I think his "I'm a medic, but..." attitude would fit perfectly, and he'd love the terrans)

-pharma

-whirl (do it you fucking cowards. and don't do it like cyberverse. make him unhinged. he would be such a bad influence it would be great)

[astaroth1357]

Oh God, What Have We Done??: Father!Solomon Headcanons

You know what? I'm a Solomon love-hater but I'll go to bat for him too. You could pick worse.

Contents: Unhinged Ms. Frizzle-style parenting, the horrors of human biology, possible pregnancy implications, fluff

~♡♡♡~

So. I can see this happening intentionally. Solomon craves a happy family, so I absolutely see the thought of rasing a kid with MC coming up once or twice.

That said, I think zero planning actually went into making it happen. This is a spur-of-the-moment decision made by two lovesick dolts. Not a damn thought was spared for the consequences, and it shows.

For starters, MC and Solomon both agreed to raise a child together while they were in the human world and told NOBODY ELSE. So from the outside looking in, they just left the Devildom for “training purposes” and returned with a random infant!

No call ahead. No fanfare. They both stepped out of the portal with a flying stroller and bottomless diaper bag, grinning from ear to ear like it all was just souvenirs from Disney World!

Naturally, all hell broke loose. The brothers were collectively hyperventilating, Simeon almost fainted, and Diavolo noticed that Barbatos wasn't moving or blinking, so the Little Ds had to carry him away like a malfunctioning android...

Does Solomon having a kid make him a grandfather…? He is not ready to ponder that thought. No one is.

Despite Mammon and Belphegor’s insistence they had to “Put it back!” after MC made it clear that raising a baby was what they wanted and that Solomon was there to stay, the brothers made peace with it… to varying degrees.

Asmo was the only one thrilled that his favorite humans now have an even cuter mini-human to take around because he'd get to try his hand at baby fashion design! The least happy was probably Belphegor because a baby means that MC is going to be way too busy to nap now. Plus, he had to deal with a lot more Solomon in his life, which very few people ever ask for...

The crew's reaction to the baby's development is actually pretty funny to see. Humans age much, much faster than their supernatural counterparts so, from their perspective, the new baby is growing at lightning speed!

Mammon was with them when they were teaching the baby to crawl and he started freaking out because, “How’re they movin' already!?” The first day their child came running, physically running, into the HoL without any help actually made Levi scream in fright.

The House had a complete meltdown when Beel was watching the child one day and they lost a tooth while eating some hard candy. They all thought that MC and Solomon were going to burn the place down, so imagine their surprise when the overjoyed parents kept congratulating their kid for losing a baby tooth...

And don't get any of them started on the growth spurts...

The one to take to the kid the most as they grew was, funnily enough, Lucifer. Most likely because their various milestones reminded him of when his brothers were doing the same things.

The child is more than happy to tell “Uncle Luci” anything, which he acts like he only tolerates, but in reality he loves being their favorite brother.

Barbatos is EXTREMELY protective of them. Nearly as protective as he is with Diavolo.

Their kid, of course, has no clue. He's just nice Uncle Barbie (he refused to be called Grandpa) who makes them sweets and watches over them in the Castle. But anyone who get too close while they're playing gets a stare down worse than all of Cerberus’ heads combined...

Mammon swore in front of them once and Barbatos strung him up so tightly that even Lucifer thought it was overkill.

Luke seems to enjoy having a baby sibling of sorts to look after, but he is going to be so upset when they get taller than him in the blink of an eye. He’s going to be their guardian angel for sure, btw.

As a father, Solomon is… spirited. Anyone can see that he’s ecstatic to be a parent, it’s just…

Well, years of isolation on top of being a once-in-a-lifetime prodigy may not have made him the most “in touch” with children these days, you know? MC has absolutely come home to find Solomon has propped up their 6-month-old with a stack of books to start teach them how to play chess.

Daddy-Baby adventure always end in spectacular fashion. Solomon is a very “hands-on science teacher” kind of guy with unwavering confidence in his abilities to keep his child safe. This, to be fair, isn’t unwarranted, however...

Does that mean you should make a plans to take your child to forbidden places for some sightseeing? Or let your child touch, paw at, and gnaw on any magic item that suits their fancy in the name of a making a new teaching experience...? Probably not, but it’s also how he learned so…

It must be assumed that whatever kid these two have, biological or not, will be a magic powerhouse of destructive proportions. All that training from Solomon himself since infancy? They'll have a wand in their hand before they can even work a fork!

I like to imagine that Solomon's kid would have a very, very hard time controlling their magic and it would get uncontrollable at times. Like, a sneeze could knock over a bookshelf or getting angry makes things go flying. But Solomon would never ever scold them for it like it’s they're fault.

He'd never make them feel the same isolation and shame that he did at their age.

It would be very, very sweet. But it also means that MC could come home to a flooded house and, instead of cleaning out the water, Solomon would teaching their child how to snorkel in the living room.

Pure chaos, but MC could never find a prouder father. Solomon would devote his entire being to giving their child all of the love and happiness they deserve. Their kid almost never sees him without a grin on his face, just ready to just wrap them a bear hug for no reason.

On quiet nights, he'd cradle them or rock them to sleep while holding back tears. MC has found him over their crib like he’s still trying to convince himself that they're real, that he's gotten this lucky.

He's not a conventional father. Hell, he's not a conventional human either. But he’s grateful for day he gets to be a parent... Every. Single. One.

[suiana]

Could I please request some yandere prince headcannons? Darling’s probably a servant or guard!

I love princes! even more if they're unhinged 😇

✎ yandere! prince headcanons . . .

✎ warnings . . .

― manipulation, violence, degradation, obsession etc.

(gn! reader x male yandere! oc)

✎ yandere! prince who was the youngest child of the empire's royal family. obviously being spoiled with riches since young, getting anything and everything he desired.

✎ yandere! prince who was the star of the empire, being perfect in almost every aspect. from sword fighting, to academics, to even his looks. he was almost like a gift from the gods above! if only it weren't for his violent tendencies when he gets mad.

✎ yandere! prince who always showcases the best side of himself to the masses. after all, he is the face of the royal family. being the perfect son, he was worshipped like a deity. and what deity would be a cruel one? no, he had to be perfect. he had to be the perfect, kind, caring and respectful son of the empire.

✎ yandere! prince who releases his pent up anger and stress on those around him in subtle ways. from making his personal servants feel lesser than him to choking his advisor when he made a small mistake... i mean, being asked to be perfect all the time has really taken a toll on his mental health, y'know?

✎ yandere! prince who has always had the same group of servants serve him since young. no one else was qualified to serve him! he's their perfect prince after all, he should only be receiving the best. it's also to prevent his unruly habits from getting leaked. it would be really disastrous if word got out that their beloved prince was secretly violent!

✎ yandere! prince who never thought about those below him before he met you. you were such a clumsy little thing! accidentally bumping into him while running down the palace hallways... god, you were so freaking adorable. and the way you actually didn't know who he was until his advisor shouted at you... oh, you had him intrigued. there was someone who dared to not know him? how interesting indeed...

✎ yandere! prince who requests for you to serve him. can you imagine the shock on the head maid's and head butler's faces when they heard that their perfect prince wanted an inexperienced and new servant to serve him? oh how jealous they were! someone like you? serving the famed prince? that was something that the lowly people could only dream of!

✎ yandere! prince who only becomes more intrigued by you when you treat him like a friend instead of your master. he's the prince and you're just a lowly commoner! and he even berated you and called you a peasant to try and make it clear to you about your status difference! did you have so much kindness in your heart that you overlooked that? or were you just a dumb klutz??

✎ yandere! prince who realizes that you were truly just a kind person when you defended a child from getting bullied. you didn't even have any benefit from doing that so what made you do that? you were truly so interesting...

✎ yandere! prince who has his obsession with you solidified when you reply his question. "do i need a reason to help another person?" oh my...you were far too precious... it's truly a shame that you happened to end up catching his attention because he's never letting you go now. no... most definitely not. especially after you made him realize that there existed such a kind person. someone truly untainted, someone who deserved the title of a deity way more than him.

✎ yandere! prince who still treats you like dirt when others are around. he feels slightly bad but...it's still amusing to see you act so submissive and obedient. he wishes he could worship you publicly though, you deserve it. but he can't. for if he does, what will become of the royal family? royalty no more and just a mere mockery is what will be of him if he just as much as treats you like an equal. so for now, he'll have to worship you behind closed walls in the dead of the night.

✎ "little dove, get on your knees and clean my shoes. there's dust on them."

[happypotato48]

Wandee Goodday EP 5 Unhinged Tangent Thoughts

Finally it's brainrot saturgay. we're back with a dumb homo, himbo bisexual, the cutest domestic hubbies in existence, tired acesexual eyebrows, and dr. 666 himself (i still can fix him!)

Well well well if it isn't the look of a dumb whore who is in too deep with this fake relationship. Dee i know you already imagine a nice big house with 2.5 kids, 2 dogs and 1 cat future with this man... oh wait that's me nvm then.

i bet Yak also remembers how many HJs, BJs, and all the other Js he received.

Oh hi baby i've missed you so much. now save these morons from themselves with the power of poorly made sextumes.

You took too long, now your candy's gone, that's what happened!

He's so happy how well his sextumes are received. Ahhhhhhh! he so cute! i can't, i RAK him so much, this eyebrows is my everything.

ตาคิ้วหนาาาา!!

I will be joining @lurkingshan in the recovery ward of saint framboise, hospital for the gays and the gals. and i'm expect many more will be joining us soon. for this scene is a mass casualty incident.

Why are you both still has thoes things on your heads. my first instinct in this kind of situation is probably to get rid of the very noticible kinky headband on my head. forking amatures.

Kawaii Dick!! i name him dick-kun.

Karma sure is a funny bitch. her comedic timing is impeccable.

God bless this mess.

Ok this show finally made me cave in and bought that tacky elapant pants that i used to associated with foreign tourists. turn out they are very comfy. man, i shouldn't let white people dictated my fashion sense. live and learn i guess.

Speaking of fashion sense. this look is definitely not working for you Yak.

Can you blame him! i too would be this cray if i have someone as hot as Yei as my bf.

My money is on a loan shark. i will forgive you for this one lie, Oye.

I have to remind myself sometime that i was not like other kids. cause i definitely would be bored out of my mind with this kind of stuff as a kid.

Two dick jokes in a row. NICE!

I can still fix him! no really i can i just need the right tools.

I love that even though i saw these two fucked each other nasty before. the anticipation of them kissing is still very much present.

This is a nice intermediate ep, not a lot happened but we get to spent more time with Yak and Dee growing their 100% not fake Boyfriendship. they had both met each others close families, very involved in each other lives. and emotionally supported each other. they're good together and they started to realized that. the many looks of Dee "oh shit" is already gave me all the angsts. and from the preview shit totally gonna hits the fan next ep and i can't wait for someone (hopefully Ai Phi Ter) to get punch.

[hunterbunter3000]

Okay so, since Krueger is obsessed with Sweetheart. Does that make him a Yandere? I mean like after he first met her and is with her like lost puppy. Does one of the men’s notice his behavior?

Oh damn... I guess so? 🫢🫢🤔🤔🤔🤔 he does have yandere tendencies. Wow I guess I made him a Yandere 😭😭 BUT LIKE-- HE WOULDNT KILL JUST BECAUSE?? like "just because you talked to Sweetheart I wouldn't kill you immediately, I would just threaten you and be intimidating so you can back off and not make a move on my future wife." But if you hurt Sweetheart then yeah you're done. DONE.

And he isn’t the type to be “if I can’t have you, no one can” and kill off Sweetheart, or be the type to lock her in the basement or have sadistic punishments. GOD NO

He would throw up if he ever tHOUGHT of hurting Sweetheart like that. (He has gotten on his knees, legit sobbing like he lost a family member, and apologizing to her because he slapped her when she accidentally startled him— it was a reflex and Sweets understood but Kruger did not stop crying. And then he bought her a designer purse 💀) he’s just a really big love drunk guy that treats his future love like a fucking goddess.

He listens to Sweetheart only, (and Graves I guess because thats his boss) so whatever she says goes. She says to leave her alone? Alright I'll give you some space. (Even tho he would be crying) she says to beat up that guy cause he disrespected her capitan? Done and done. She says to stop threatening strangers that come up to her? ...eehhhh that's gonna be hard, but I'll do it.

He does it because he wants to please her. Like a lot.

It’s unhealthy how attached he is to her, but he’s still respectful. He doesn’t want to lose her, but he also doesn’t want to be alone anymore. Does that even make sense lol

But yeah, I guess he is a yandere. BUT LIKE A SOFT YANDERE WHO UNDERSTANDS SOME BOUNDARIES

And good lord, everyone notices every time Krueger is around. Especially König (since they're step-brothers in this) König has always seen Krueger act like this, but not to a person, so it was shocking to see that happen.

He's so restless and snappy when Sweetheart isn't around and always asks where she is and why she isn't here yet. And one time, Ghost is like "Calm down mate. She's just running some errands." And Krueger just tenses, and you can see in his body language that he's getting angry. "By herself? You let her go by herself!? Where? Which store!? Fuck!" And he storms out of the lounging area. That was when they all knew that Krueger had a different kind of love for Sweetheart. And was waaayyyyy different than them. They feel a bit awkward with him because they know he's unhinged and a bit psycho, especially when it comes to Sweetheart. He's a very skilled soldier and will not hesitate to rip and tear everyone that is around her in a heartbeat. And they know Krueger's distain towards them, except with Ghost, Roach and König, Krueger just toys around with him like the annoying big brother he is. With Ghost, he's kind of friends with because he knows that Ghost will sacrifice everything for Sweetheart just like him. And they also have somethings in common- like torturing people and watching football. (soccer) With Roach, Krueger likes him because he's quiet and has sadistic tendencies when it comes to fighting enemies.

(He doesn't like when Roach hangs off of Sweetheart tho)

He gets jealous and irritated easily when he doesn't get his way when Sweetheart is around them. Like with Soap, he HATES Soap so much omfg- that is his enemy. He sees how close they are to each other and sees how Soap touches her and vice versa (he has many violent fantasies when it comes to Soap. König knows about this and purposely makes him avoid the two when they are together) those two butt heads CONSTANTLY

Like one more word from that Scottish dumbass and he will put him under bro 💀

They see how clingy Krueger is when she gets back from a mission, especially a solo mission omg

He would just hug her from behind and sway back and forth, his hood draping over her head as well as his (the hood that she made him is huge) and Soap can hear him whisper praises to her and her giggles. He can also hear Krueger kissing Sweetheart. Where? He doesn't know. Hopefully, not on the lips. WHY ARE THEY SO CUTE TO ME WTFF

And Krueger will not. Let. Her go. AT ALL. Like if he comes over to their side of the base, Krueger takes allllll of the attention from her (I talked about this before) especially if they're taking a nap together, like he's sitting on the couch with Sweetheart cradled in his lap, asleep on his broad shoulder as his arms hold her. Gaz fucking hates when they take naps together, especially when he sees their breathing in sync (Like FUCK OFF) So one time, Gaz was sick of it. He reaches for Sweetheart but Krueger tightens his hold on her, and he growls so fucking low and animalistic like a damn rabid dog protecting its owner-- it legit scared him. (Especially when you can't see his face 💀) And Krueger just says, "mine." In the lowest voice Gaz has ever heard-- he just backs up and leaves (AND WASN'T HE SUPPOSED TO BE ASLEEP??? LIKE IS HE MAGICAL-)

Krueger is something else yall 💀 can't wait to write more of him with Sweetheart 🤭🤭

[buddiebeginz]

Welcome to today's unhinged B*mmy thoughts:

Gotta say as a queer person I'm so done with that part of fandom calling me homophobic because I don't like a ship. Or because I don't think T*mmy treats Buck right. Or god forbid I don't think making a daddy kink joke in the same breath that Buck is talking about his father dying makes since.

Also B*mmy shippers this you???

Being so afraid of Eddie being queer and people relating to a fictional character you actually felt the need to make an entire video celebrating how much you want him to be straight. You do realize him having relationships with women doesn't automatically make him straight right? Because fyi up until very very recently all Buck has ever had has been relationships with women.

Oh and I don't know how it is that we're somehow fetishizing a ship many of us have been invested in for years. That we ship because we love the bond between Buck and Eddie and their family with Chris. Is there smutty fanart/fics sure but most of our fandom is centered around the love these two men share and us wanting to see that turn into something even deeper than it is. I also think it's insanely hypocritical to accuse Buddie shippers of fetishizing when a lot of you B*mmy stans used to be Buddie shippers. Only as soon as you got to see two guys you think are hot kiss Buddie didn't seem to matter anymore. You chose to care about a ship with very little substance because it has the physical stuff you wanted to see vs Buddie which has all the emotional depth your ship doesn't. But sure we're the ones fetishizing a m|m relationship. Okay.

I'm also just really tired of you all acting superior and like you're somehow the boss of the 911 fandom because your ship is canon. Is it fun to have a ship you love become canon? Yes. Would I love for Buddie to become canon? Hell yes. But canon ships have never been more important than non canon ships especially when it come to fandom. People have always headcanoned ships that weren't canon some that would never ever be canon no matter what. Especially when it comes to lgbtq couples. Yet now that Buck is dating T*mmy (which btw they've never confirmed they're even in an official rs) somehow it's not okay to ship him with Eddie. Or to have theories about them getting together. Or to dislike Buck with someone other than Eddie. Nevermind the fact that most of you B*mmy shippers disliked every other woman Buck and Eddie were ever even with. Somehow that was okay because they were women but it's not okay now that Buck is with a guy and it's a ship you like.

Also this you too???

But sure we're the homophobic and toxic ones in the 911 fandom.

[anticapitalistclown]

clownie

how would lookism men be as dads ?(how many kids, girl dad vibes or boy dad vibes)

yes! prepare yourselves bc this is going to be a long post...

Lookism men as dads headcanons

let's start with J High Crew and +:

Daniel - he has the vibes to have 1 boy and 1 girl, they're three years apart and get along surprisingly well, they have the typical sibling fights but at the same time they're partners in crime. His kids are well educated and are really respectful, but both of them are as bold as the father.

Zack - same as Daniel but reverse, he has a girl, an older sister responsible and harsh, the pride of her father, and the little one, a boy, a funny and impulsive little Zack that makes sure the family keeps a constant eye on him. They're four years apart, as soon as the eldest got into kinder that Zack went for a second.

Vasco - Vasco always wanted a big family, since young he wished for three daughters, genetics had other plans tho, he went for a daughter and had a son, a healthy and strong one, a year after he wished the gods for a daughter but life blessed the family with another son and so on till Vasco had three sons, each one a year apart from the other, the eldest, a strong, kind and responsible son, he is the peace maker of the siblings, the middle child, a wild and funny version of Vasco he gets along with Daniel's first child, the third child, an adventurous and curious boy, so curious that makes him get in troubles for that, making everyone worry about him. Five years later since the youngest was born, life blessed the family with a girl, a kind and adventurous little girl that gets spoiled by her father and has three bodyguards so called brothers.

(sorry about all this text but I love the idea of Vasco wishing for three daughters and having three sons instead)

Jay - I don't see him being a dad, more of the cool uncle (like jinyoung), but if life gave him a child, it would be a girl, a kind and classy girl.

Jace - a son, a little version of him, a little detective, he will born at the same time as Vasco's third son, a chaotic duo that will continue the father's heritage, on the other hand he would be like another big brother for Vasco's daughter.

Vin Jin - he was afraid his bloodline will inherit polycoria as him so he would be really reluctant to having kids, still, life blessed him with a daughter, she's the apple of his eye, his partner in crime, the reason that made him a god parent for her.

Johan - a son, a gentle and kind son, he's spoiled by Zack's eldest daughter and gets along really well with Daniel's kids.

Big Deal

Jake - he was more than fine settling with an only child, but life blessed him with two sons, genetics are hard on his side so Jake would have two copy and paste versions of him, they are two years apart and get along really well, even more when the youngest enters puberty, they share the same friends, same adventures and great times. The eldest is the extroverted one, his charisma makes people want to be around him, the youngest is more quiet but makes the most random and unhinged plans, when both brothers are together they make the most funny dynamics.

Sinu - a son, the best friend of Jake's kids, he's the eldest of the new gen of big deal. Sinu settled perfectly well with a son, but will foster home some runaway kids.

Samuel - a daughter, Samuel wasn't even sure to be a dad but to think of causing the same pain he had to suffer because of a shitty absent parent, to his bloodline made him settle and be more responsible. Samuel's daughter is spoiled to the brims, she is quite arrogant but she is not a bad person, at least that is what the big deal kids say. Every parent is scared of her, they will all let their sons date everyone they like and encourage them, but will warn them about Samuel's daughter, not bc of the girl, but bc of her father.

Jerry - a son, another blessed with a son and strong genetics, Jerry was more than fine with a single son, the wife did a great and enough hard job of bearing the big son of such a big man. He is the same age as Jake's youngest son, they're inseparable.

Jason - life blessed him with two daughters, they're five years apart, being the youngest, the youngest of all the big deal kids. The eldest daughter and the big deal boys are like peas in a pod, which makes Jason worry about her.

Brad - Brad settled happy with a son, the voice of reason of the big deal kids, he's a year younger than Jake's eldest son.

Lineman - a son, the second youngest of the big deal kids, he is a good boy but always manages to get in trouble (Jason's youngest daughter fault).

Hostel

Eli - his daughter, Eli settled with Yenna, he worked hard for giving her the world and wouldn't change it other way.

Warren - a son, who Yenna cared of him as a big sister, Warren also took in the family Like What and So Funny, so he has two daughters and a son.

Geniuses

Gun - he was blessed with a daughter, a spoiled girl, the pride of Gun, he taught her how to fight, how to grow up without needing any man, Gun raised a girlboss but surprisingly he did well enough to not give her any trauma. Gun didn't care much of making a bloodline of warriors so he was more than happy with raising his daughter.

Goo - two monsters both one year apart, first a boy, and then a girl, both are the the same as him, and the three of them are everyone's worst nightmare.

James - a son, unhinged just as his dad, the new nightmare of the next gen.

Ansan

Taesoo - three kids, his first one, a daughter, a smart girl both academically and street-smart, his best helper, the middle, a boy, a little wild version of him that makes his eldest sister stress, luckily, the third child, a girl, made the middle one focus and mature because she truly is a menace. The eldest and the middle child are two years apart, and the youngest is six years younger than the eldest and four than the middle.

Hudson - a daughter, she has Taesoo's eldest as her role model, she is smart and spoiled by her dad and uncles, doesn't need siblings bc Taesoo's kids take care of her.

Chungcheon

Jibeom - three, Jibeom wanted to maintain the tradition of having a big family so he got blessed with three children, the eldest a strong and independent boy that helps the family, the middle child, a smart daughter, daddy's princess, the youngest, the black sheep, a rebellious boy that warms Jibeom's heart, his youngest son makes him remind of his little brother.

Jihan - unlike his older brother, Jihan had more than enough with his only son, if the boy felt lonely he had his three cousins to play with, his little rebellious and hyperactive son made the same and enough chaos as Jibeom's three kids. When the two youngest cousins of the Kwak family were together the whole town trembled.

Workers

Eugene - twins, two girls, two times eviler than their father, the new gen better be careful.

Yuseong - a boy, the protector of his cousins.

Ryuhei - a girl, a beautiful and evil girl spoiled to the brims by her father.

Kenta - a boy, his heir and his pride, he will seek revenge on Gun's daughter only to get gasslighted by her

[kindestofkings]

nepobaby² [pt.2]

elijah hewson x pop singer! reader

description: people hate to see a hot girl killing it, so much so that tmz starts rumours that spread like wildfire.

authors note: heyy this is a random part two to this ! so go enjoy and tell me what you think :))

tmz

liked by inhalerfan1 and others

tmz 🚨 Scandal Alert 🚨 TMZ exclusive: Shocking photos reveal yourusername caught in a steamy affair with a Saltburn's heartthrob Barry Keoghan, despite being in a relationship of over 3 years! 😱💔

Stay tuned as we uncover all the juicy details behind this explosive cheating scandal.

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inhalerfan1 omg what a slut! always knew she was no good for Eli

inhalerfan2 she's so fame hungry going after the most popular irish celeb, watch out paul mescal

ynfan1 nooooo girl nooooo

ynfanupdates

liked by ynfan1 and others

ynfanupdates ehhhh guys did you see all this?? yn and eli were spotted together like a week ago what the hell is going on??

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ynfan1 I refuse to believe this is true, she's not like that

inhalerfan2 oh and you know her so well do you? ynfan1 maybe not but I do know tmz have lied in the past! they have no journalistic integrity

ynfan2 she must of really REALLY enjoyed saltburn

inhalerfan1 I will never listen to her again disgusting behaviour

deuxmoi

liked by inhalerfan1 and others

deuxmoi just hours after the news broke that his girlfriend of 3 years is cheating on him, elijah hewson is the picture of heartbroken at his show and their interviews :(

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inhalerfan1 omg baby, #ynisoverparty

inhalerfan2 this is crazy, how could she do this to him while they're touring !

ynfan1 we don't even know if the rumours are true!! inhalerfan1 evidence is pretty stacked against your girl

inhalerfan3 can't wait for the single Eli era !!

yourusername just posted on their close friends!

this is hell there was 6 other people at that dinner and we got in separate cars home

replies:

bobbyskeetz yeah didn't think you fucked with barry like that

↳ ...... bobbyskeetz too soon? yeah just a bit man

taylorswift they are ruthless! please call me gorgeous, you're not alone in this xx

trumanblack are you in LA right now?

↳ I am yeah why does that matter rn matthew trumanblack just wanted to make sure I booked the flight to the right place. ↳ matttttt I'm gonna cry (even more)

ynfanupdates

liked by ynfan1 and others

ynfanupdates THIS IS NOT THE FACE OF A CHEATER. Also look how in love those two are !!! I dont not believe tmz on bit. ALSO people are being so mean to her. LEAVE HER ALONE!!!

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ynfan1 couldn’t said it better myself

ynfan2 people hate to see a hot girl slay.

tmz

liked by 1975fan1 and others

tmz big brother to the rescue ? looks like the Healy siblings are sticking together through thick and thin. our cameras caught the eldest Healy sibling rushing to the states to support his little sister amidst her massive cheating scandal! 👀

looks like getting cancelled runs in the family huh...

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1975fan1 oh he looks pissed

ynfan1 omg the poor girl she looks in bits 💔

inhalerfan1 consequences of her actions ynfan2 WE DONT EVEN KNOW IF ITS TRUE NONE OF THEM HAVE COME OUT AND SAID ANYTHING inhalerfan1 you are clearly unhinged babe xxx

inhalerfan1 great job playing the victim girl, what about eli x

elijahhewson

liked by yourusername and others

elijahhewson stop making shit up to sell you papers. this is the love of my life who was at a group dinner, leave her be.

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bobbyskeetz ready to go to war for my favourite couple

ryanmcmahon_15 me too !

inhalerfan1 holy shit eli's is off private oh my GOD

inhalerfan2 it’s happening! everyone stay calm

trumanblack fair play mate

denisewelch its all so silly, clearly haven't seen how in love you two are !!

taylorswift glad to see her smiling again <3

ynfan1 I KNEW IT my parents could never .

ynfanupdates hope she's okay people were so mean to her..

yourusername

liked by elijahhewson and others

yourusername please learn to be nicer while I disappear x

comments have been turned off.

ynfanupdates

liked by ynfan1 and others

ynfanupdates it’s officially been a year and a half since we’ve heard anything from or even seen yourusername 🥲 I really respect her taking some time after that crazy barry situation but this is HARD

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ynfan1 noo I’m the same, I do be missing her bops

ynfan2 fr feels like we’ve been put in the worlds longest time out

ynfanupdates especially with that last insta post 😔

yourusername posted to their close friends!

replies:

charli_xcx yessss queen the world is not readyyyy

↳ AHHH thank you C <33

rass75 AOTY pending?

↳ heheh idk ! genre change pending tho …

taylorswift cannot wait to hear what you're working on !

↳ and what if you hopped on a track?

yourusername

liked by elijahhewson and others

yourusername is there anyone out there?

come spend some time with me within the echoes of solitude, there might be some familiar faces x

// this is me trying  / the lakes / mad woman / my tears ricochet / mirrorball / slut! (feat. Taylor Swift) / let the light in (feat. Elijah Hewson) / both sides now (feat. Joni Mitchell) / coney island (feat. Matty Healy) //

out in TWO weeks !

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jackantonoff lets fuckin GO

trumanblack so moody, almost emo?

yourusername coming for your gig big bro x

gabriette woooo they are not ready !

charlixcx AHHHH so buzzed (for all the sadness)

ynfan2 ah a sad album?? yourusername im sorry to confirm its not very pop 💔 ynfan2 so heartbroken ! but can't wait to hear it all, welcome back <3

elijahhewson so proud of you beautiful

ynfan1 OMG SHE'S BACK

ynfan2 oh no she looks so sad :(( slut! is gonna break me

ynfanupdates okay queen is back to dominate a new genre !

vogue

liked by yourusername and others

vogue our next edition unveils an exclusive interview with our beloved pop sensation! emerging from a year of solitude, she opens up about her toughest career moment yet and her newfound carefree spirit, crediting the unwavering support of friends, family, and the love of her life! don't miss out on the latest scoop - grab your copy and dive into her inspiring journey!

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yourusername ahhhhh thanks for having me !!!

ynfan1 oh she slayss

ynfan2 bless her, the part where she talks about how nervous she is about not releasing a new pop album broke my heart

ynfan1 fr she doesn't get how much we love her ! yourusername AWH you guys !!!!

inhalerfan1 the love of her life .... her and eli are the cutest

yourusername

liked by trumanblack and others

yourusername HI again ! soooo I felt a tinnie bit bad that I'm abandoning my roots, espically so close to summer sooo....

espresso a certified bop* is out now xxxx

*certification is from my boyfriend so possible bias there ..

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ynfan1 holy shit I LOVE YOU

ynfan2 eli is so in love im OBSESSED

charlixcx so hot omfg

bobbyskeetz man is whipped

yourusername isnt it that sweet?! bobbyskeetz i guess so 🙄 elijahhewson espresso

finished

hehehe this is so dramatic and for WHAt?! but I love and had so much fun making it. ENJOY <33

ALSO requests are open aswell so it me up xx

[evilminji]

I just Literally Galaxy Brained :D???

Oh? My? God?

So here I am, on a Star Wars kick, when I Ponder my beloved Danny Phantom. As ya do! Who? I wonder? Could I mix into the star wars universe?

WHEN IT HITS ME.

You know who LOVES kids? Just... will Burn Down Planets for this kid they literally JUST met? Mandolorians. Know where you can find a SHIT ton of those, genetically? The GAR!

Those are CLONES, baby! WE got a Clone! She's feisty and adorable! Smol! Bites! Got them big ol tooka eyes and itty bitty hands! Likes to fly, explore, and fight! She's BASICALLY born for this!

Tell me they would collectively look at this tiny feral child, with her poofy lil hair and chubby cheeks, fangy lil grin and biting tendcy, and go "is BABY!" Come on, tell me. I'll call you a liar.

And you KNOW the Force and Ectoplasm are probably messy EXs. Dani could TOTALLY use they "why should you allow me in? .....because they're not the boss of you" argument to GREAT effect.

Here, Skywalker. Kenobi. Watch this mysterious child... foooooor.... uh, Reasons! Yes. I, the Force, definitely have valid reasons for doing this! I am NOT just being a petty bitch! #SoundsLegit

But? Gasp! The child is a Cadet?! A BABY Clone! Of WHO? A legendary warrior king, from what context they can gather. Made by his enemy. Sent to kill him. Forgiven then adopted. Ooooh, lots of life lessons there. Clone rights and forgiveness and such.

But more IMPORTANTLY, to the GAR?

BABY CLONE! Is BABY!!!

We are ALL Buir now! All of us. Biggest family in the galaxy. Dani is cool with it, congrats New Fenton's! On the Be-Fenton-ing! Tremble in FEAR, scrubs! It's OUR HOUSE NOW!! Mwahahahaha! *cackles from her perch on top of a table*

But... wait... what is that glowing stuff that you're getting low on?

Oh? This? New beloved Highly Unhinged Jedi Friends and Clone Dads? Oh it's just my LIFE SAVING MEDICINE that I NEED TO LIVE that I never told you about! :D

*horrified silence*

*PANIC*

It's okay. It's OKAY! Everybody STOP SCREAMING! W-well just reverse engineer... *machine makes the equivalent of a Dunno noise* FUCK! Okay! New plan! Dani, sweetie, lil warrior, what do you remember about your medicine? What does it DO, exactly?

Unstable clone.

Okay! Okay, that's a start! THEY are stable clones. Right? Right!

.........r-right? Are... are they SURE? Cause, I mean, it's ONE thing when it's just THEIR health on the line... but when it's their YOUNGLING? Their lil tooka Dani? Their ade? Are they SURE? How sure. Bet HER life on it sure?

....no. No they are not. They don't trust the long necks NEARLY that much. Time do do a DEEP deep scan. Best they can find. They got to make SURE. Boba might be the only STABLE clone... assuming the sleemo even told the truth about that.

And? They LEARN some stuff.

Like about the chip in their head's. Supposedly an "inhibitor chip". Sends Skywalker into a karking rage, cause that looks a whole lot like a slave chip to HIM. Dani says they can CHECK. Then doesn't wait for an answer as she sticks her HAND into someone's head to just... pluck it out. Hand it over to be sliced.

Dani, sweetie, c-can you do that for the rest of us? Sure!

But! The race is ON. To either figure out how to contact the original, stabilize Dani, or synthesize Ectoplasm in a universe that DOES NOT HAVE IT. All while unknowingly? Absolutely Fenton CURB STOMPING Ancient Sith Plans into oblivion.

As is the Fenton Way.

This IS The Way~☆

@hdgnj @babbling-babull @the-witchhunter @hypewinter @mutable-manifestation @legitimatesatanspawn @lolottes @spidori

[rxsilabeth--er]

But being a criminal and getting trans!reg pregnant....like it's all planned.

Reader being obsessed with reg from the beginning from when he was just a trainee and committing crimes just so he could visit the scenes and watch reg. Killing people till he's darling boy is head of this case and being the one to bring him in. When he is, he chats up reg at a bar or sth, and poor reg is so clueless. Doesn't the guy he's riding and losing his mind over is the same person who is killing all those young victims he's investigating. By the time he figures it out, everything has gone to hell. And little reg is pregnant with the child of a serial killer. The worst part is that he knows. He can't tell anyone cause if his team finds out he got knocked by the psycho they're trying to catch, he'll lose the respect of the entire bureau. And Reg doesn't want to abort cause he's too stupidly in love with the man that gave him the child. However, he's shocked when he finds out the man made a small mistake in the last crime scene, but his team doesn't know it's killer and reg is a hundred percent sure the clue wasn't a mistake and was all planned out. And know he's interviewing his baby daddy in a small metal room who is highly aware of the tiny life growing inside of him and is too smug about it. With his new role as a potential witness to the case, he decides to offer his help with catching the murder and reg's boss agrees and is grateful to have the help of a local. Soo he grows to be liked by the whole group, and it's torture for reg. He keeps pulling reg into closets and bending him over the desk, promising to give him the little family he's always talked about on their dates, teasing him about how he has always been an over achiever and Regulus knows he could easily let himself hate him had their were not moments where the man was too domestic. Him walking into the office, wrapping his arms around his waist, rubbing his stomach. Talking about how their swert child will come out a genius. How he'll marry reg, whenever his ready. Always carrying with him water so reg is hydrated, doughnuts for the craving. Home-cooked meals, that reg can't help but mouth over. When reg is working too hard he'll walk into the office rub his back and little bump, telling him he shouldn't work too hard, it's bad for the baby, whispering little clues about the case In his ears. He'll buy him presents and make little baby jokes in front of everyone, making everyone confused. They'll ask if he's got a special someone at home and he's like yeah, we're expecting. He'll look reg right in the eye and go "smartest and prettiest little mama I've ever seen" and when it gets too hard for reg to cover the bump, he promises he'll quit but only if reg agrees to live with him.

Sorry, I may have gotten too obsessed 😅 I got this idea at what? 3:50 a.m and now it's 4:22. Had to get it all down immediately 😭

I'm drooling over this, it's such a piece of diamond!!! I NEED IT!! Oh my god, it's so cute yet so sexy!! Here take preggo! Reggie smut in exchange for the amazing gold's price!!| Warnings: dub-con? Slight manhandling, gun on head (reg's fine, dw), reader is kinda unhinged and insane, chocking, reg's pregnant, I have no idea, what came over me to write this...

Thank god, everyone in the office was actually gone out to eat, Regulus said he wasn't feeling and you brightly volunteered to stay behind to care of the Head Detective and the others agree, because you're a local who became VERY close with the group.

And Regulus knew why...Regulus's head felt like it was burning, crying on his knees, spewing insults, yelling, screaming and what not simply to argue with you over the fact that you're always at his office now and he doesn't like it...

You simply grinned down at him, you liked when he cried, it was cute, you know you should be angry at him, but maybe it was the fact that he was pregnant that suddenly made him so cute and made you want to make him cry more and mewl on your cock like that other night in the forest where you pounded in him on the forest floor beside his friend, Barty's house.

Softly you walked close to the kneeling boy, lifting his face softly and grabbing his face tightly, "You cry so damn much, it's fucking annoying how pretty you look." you softly hummed as Regulus's soft whimpering as you grab his arm and lift him up, pulling him up as you sat on his chair, the Head detective's chair.

You let him stand as he continued to scream at you for the next few minutes, maybe it was the pregnancy moodswings but after a few minutes of screaming, he stood there sobbing, pregnancy emotions always got out of hand, you guessed.

Softly he walked closer to you, sitting in your lap, crying in your neck as your hands stroked his thigh and sides, one hand travelling up to the top of his jacket, you softly pulled it off as he continued to cry, whine and sob on your lap, as one hand unbuttoned the buttons of his shirt softly, the other rubbing his thigh, the shirt still tucked in enough to hide his body well.

You snaked your hands inside his shirt, rubbing his stomach where you felt the smallest amount of movement, was it from Reg's breathing or the baby's notice of his father being around, you didn't know, you preferred the latter, knowing the man in your lap could never help his greediness he had over you, his obsession over you which he tried SO HARD to deny always made you grin and made you think how cute he'd like crying on your cock.

The other hand softly unbutton his trousers, your hands slipped inside his pants on his hips, holding his hips softly as you pet his hips a bit for him to lift his hips for you remove his trousers. Throwing them haphazardly, your fingers softly grazed his clothed cunt, already starting to wet and leak even through his panties, "Oh? Already wet...expected this from you honestly." you hummed softly, taking his hand on yours and guiding it to your trousers.

As he unbuttoned your pants, you simply pushed his panties aside and stroked his cunt and clit, but not touching him where he wants. Panting and whining, he simply pulled out your cock, whining as you simply sighed. "Pitiful.." you stared at him, but he's pregnant, might as well be sweet right?

So that's how he ended up riding you, wailing and moaning like it's nobody's business as his fingers were plunged in your mouth, plugging your mouth as you sucked and slobbered over his fingers like he did on your cock with a smirk seeing him go crazy and whiny simply from bouncing over you, one of your hands rubbing and squeezing his clit and the other rubbing his tummy which was seemingly growing to show your kid inside him...

Thrusting up into his cunt, the hand which was on his stomach moved up to softly pinch his nipples just as the ringtone of your phone rang through the office, as Regulus's cries resonated within the walls, just before you pulled his panties you tore off of him and shoved it in his mouth, taking the call, putting it on speaker and placing it on the table, while one of your hands held his wrists tightly, while the other moved to hold his throat.

Noticing his movements stopped, you leaned close to his tear-stricken face and asked, "What? Did I ask you to stop? Continue fucking riding." you said softly, you were sure if not for the panties stuck in his mouth and your hand on his throat he would whine loudly to show everyone what was happening.

"Hello?" Barty's voice came from the call, "Yeah? Hello Barty!!" You asked brightly, in contrary to how you were fucking Regulus on your dick. As Regulus continued to bounce on top you, "Yeah, uh, we're reaching the station back in like two to three minutes." Barty said as all blood ran from Regulus's face while you only smirked,

"Oh? Oh, please, do come early...I miss you all and if not me, then Reggie sure does, don't you?" you said smirking as Barty laughed over the phone, "I bet, aight, I'll tell Evan to drive faster, can't leave our besties alone, can we? See you!" he said before hanging up as you pulled Regulus's panties out his mouth, making him whine as you pressed down on his throat and rubbed his clit a bit harshly,

"Why-...Why would you..you-fuck! Why would you do that?!" he asked, trying to be angry, but his exterior flattered the moment you thrust inside of him, hearing him wail.

"Come on, hurry up, don't you want to cum? If not now, then you'll have to wait up until, I don't know....a few hours?" you said as he suddenly began speeding his movements up, as you relaxed in the chair, groaning as you kissed his chest and left hickeys, biting him as he simply whined and tried his best to ride you. Your hands no longer working on his body neither did you put in any effort, if he wanted it, he can have it all by himself especially after screaming at you,

"i'm still upset at you yelling at me, so I will relax, you use me and get yourself off." you said simply, hands simply on his stomach, stroking his swelling belly, letting him use you.

Regulus tried his best to replicate the feelings of you, pinching his nipples, squeezing his clit, plunging your fingers in his hole besides your cock if you felt more mean, or the way your cock touched parts of his body his long fingers couldn't even reach...

His wet finger rubbing his own clit, as he ride to bounce himself on top of you like you always force him to, the other hand on top of yours on his stomach, feeling your cock bulging in his stomach, it was hurting, but he simply couldn't reach his good points!

What the hell, you're supposed to care for him, your baby's momma, your pretty little baby and your gorgeous princess (as you called him in a degrading way).

It wasn't helping that you were pinching his nipples seemingly out of nowhere and reminding him, "Come on, don't want the whole sector to know you're a whore right? They're gonna be here any minute now." he said. His pleasure was teetering between too much and too little and it was driving him wild,

"Ah-fuck!...please! I-I'm..fuck..I'm sorry, it's not working!!" he whined, his tears dripped down his cheeks with drool also falling down his cheeks making you shake your head, "I'm sorry, baby. You're on your own." you said simply, groaning as he clamped down on your, throwing your head back, sadism making you feel happy and a smirk on your lips as he again began to move up and down, his thighs burning just as the sounds of other's car's parking was heard.

"Oh, looks like they're here, awwhhh, baby, hurry up, come on, cum." you said with fake pity as Regulus let out a loud whine, near scream,

"PLEASE! I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry...Please..it hurts and I-fuck! Can't do it, I need you, I need you!....in here..Please daddy? Don't wanna pleasure your little cumslut...am I not carrying your baby?" he softly, whined taking your hand and placing it on his dripping cunt softly throwing his head back, you groaned and rolled your eyes as you held his hips, the fucking cumslut was smart and fucking cute,

"Awhh, fine. But hear me slut, you're not cumming the whole night after this." he said as he nodded desperately, "Fine, yes, yes!!" he nodded as you looked over to see Barty, Evan, Pandora, James, Sirius, Remus, Lily and literally everyone in the group was entering the building.

You quickly pulled out and flipped him over, slamming back inside as you pounded him on the table, as you looked over the desk to see your gun that confiscated in a opened drawer, pulling it you softly placed it on his head, making Regulus tense up, as you continued to pound inside him, spanking his ass red and rubbing it softly between your warmed up palm of the other hand before it moved to bundle up in his hair to pull up his falling and lolling head as his whined,

"Awhh, what? Scared, baby? You should be. Fucking brat, you should be fucking grateful I don't pull the trigger for almost revealing my identity...But fuck, baby, I love you." you hummed moving fast, moving the fun down to nudge his clit with the cold metal as you pounded in him, pulling his hair, and biting his shoulders, you were dressed up but he wasn't except his opened shirt hanging from his shoulders.

Regulus's whines began to be more high-pitched and faster, "Uh..No, wait..it feels weird, sir! PLEASE! It-fuck, feels like I'm gonna pee...Please, no i'm-ngh!...I'm gonna cum." he whined, thrashing softly as you placed the gun back on the table and shoved fingers in his mouth, gagging him on them, as the other pinched and rubbed his clit roughly, you could hear the other's footsteps outside on the corridors...

"Fucking cum, I better not get caught. They're just outside the door, sweetheart." you hissed as Regulus whined and let out a soundless cream as he squirted over you dripping down as he clamped down on your cock, his head dizzy as he whined softly.

That pushed you over the edge as you quickly came inside him and pulled out, staring at his dripped ass as Regulus scrambled to get his articles of clothing, including the ripped up panties and ran to the bathroom, banging the door closed just as the door opened to them, "Hey!! We got food for you as well!!" Pandora said brightly holding up a bag as they all stare at you fixing your unbutton shirts with a sweet smile, back on your lips,

"Hi, welcome back!! Where were you all gone for?" you asked, fixing your pants behind the desk hiding you as you smiled brightly. "Oh, nowhere really." Mary said sighing as she pulled up a chair beside you as you sat on the Head Detective's desk, "Where is Regulus?" Dorcas asked, as you slightly panicked, "Oh, uh, he's in the bathroom." you said smiling nodding towards the bathroom in the office.

Everyone nodded as Pandora handed you the food bag, "Oh yeah, speaking of. Reminds me, you look unsuually happy, are you expecting someone at home?" James asked smiling, as you nodded with a boyish grin,

"Yep, i'm expecting a baby!" You said just as Regulus walked out wiping his face with a napkin, his clothes back on, " the prettiest and gorgeous mama I've ever seen.." you said softly smiling at Regulus who blushed and walked closer, shooing you to get your own chair...

You pulled one beside him, as everyone began leaving to go back to different things they had to work on, as you ate your food in silence with Regulus, pulling him back to sit in your lap on the Head Detective's chair, a hand on his tummy.

You didn't really notice it, but after the few months, he was honestly starting to show, if not for the fact that he wore a brown blazer over it that hid his stomach, but if he wasn't wearing it, it was blatantly obvious as you stared at his stomach.

Regulus noticing your gaze no tummy, he hid it under his arms, his insecurity skyrocketed since becoming pregnant, but despite being insane it would be wrong to lie since he was looking gorgeous than anything,

"Quit this job, I'll take care of you." you blurted out suddenly making Regulus glare at you, "You have a lot of fucking audacity." he said pulling you close by your collar, "I'm serious...I don't want you to be held responsible if I got caught being a killer, I want you and the baby to be safe, quit this. I have money, I'll take care of you." you said softly, rubbing his stomach with one of the rare, genuine smile you held making Regulus a bit surprised but sigh,

"I'll see...", "Thank sweet mama.. :)"

[dilatorywriting]

I have come to pour some Monsters & Mayhem Rook brainrot in your inbox. Hope that's okay!

Rook is a freelance bounty hunter who most people find deeply unsettling. He never accepts payment, only picks up specific targets which interest him, and never fails his mission. It doesn't matter if the target hasn't been sighted in two years, after 3 days of taking the request, Root is at the commissioner's house at 3am (the witching hour) on the dot, a large, bloodied burlap sack behind him, and a heart in his left hand as the obligatory proof of death. He offers to show the corpse as well (waving at the sack behind him) if they wish, but no-one ever takes him up on the offer. What with his polished smile that lacks any warmth and his green gaze that seems to be looking into your very soul. The bloodstains on his clothes and his uncanny ability to pick up on the very thought that happens to be crossing your mind at that moment does not help matters either.

In truth, Rook is a Reaper. At least, this is what the MC comes to suspect. MC is runs a bakery in the village - something they come to regret on a daily basis because being a baker means waking up at 4am so you can start the ovens by 5am and begin your prep for the day. But MC likes making pasteries, truly, and it was between this or their parents marrying them off to that stuck up noble in the next town over who only really wanted someone to make him strawberry tarts day in and day out.

The first time MC meets Rook is when they're shuffling around on the shop floor at 4:30am, arranging some of yesterdays leftover treats that had been stored in the ice box, when they become suddenly aware that someone is at the window, watching them. They turn and there is Rook, plastered on the window watching with such rapt fascination. Perhaps MC should have had a more adverse reaction, considering the time, and the bloodstains on his clothes, and such, but it was too early for that. Instead, they crack open the door and offer him a small tart to say "please promptly leave - you're getting smudges on the glass". The way Rook starts marvelling at it like he's never seen one before, and especialy when he inists on MC eating a bite first "to show how one might savour them", starts to raise suspicions that he might not be human. He starts dropping by every morning at the same ungodly hour, and asks for pasteries in exchange for whatever strange (and rare) ingredient he's picked up, and MC even lets him inside to eat them. There's something endering in the way he can wax poetic about a piece of carrot cake.

Through general gossip from the mouths of customers, and Rook's own monologies, MC does piece together that yes, Rook is that bounty hunter, and that yes, he's most likely some sort of Reaper. He's a hunter by profession, and his last name is Hunt for gods sake, and he talks about tracking people down by "the light of one's soul" and whatnot. But MC remains largely unbothered. Rook may be strange, unhinged, and probably not human, but he's also oddly sweet. He's interesting to listen to, and it's refreshing to have a conversation with someone who isn't looking down their nose at you for being unmarried at your age.

Speaking of which, as rumors start to go around about that bounty hunter visting your bakery, another proposal from the tart-loving noble ends up on your doorstep. Except it's less of a proposal and more of a "the agreement between Duchess Roseharts and the family head, concerning the union between you and Riddle Roseharts, has been reached. This is a curstesy call for any last objections, before final arrangements are made. Only objections with a basis in the kingdom's law will be considered".

And so, because you've never been very good at making up lies, and because Rook seems to scare everyone, and because Rook has, technically, proposed to you before (many times, which you never took seriously, in his long winded speeches of praise about your baking), you write in response: I object to this union, on the basis that I have already accepted a marriage proposal from Rook Hunt.

Chaos then ensues.

Ooooh this is top-tier brain rot indeed. Reaper Rook? I'm here for it. Also, like, I just recently watched the new Puss in Boots movies and like, THAT sort of reaper? That kind of death? And Rook having that sort of presence and terror factor?

But oh my goodness, this is all marvelous. I love Rook and his oddities so much, and he's been slipping more and more into all the other character's lil stories. But ahhh, Reaper!Rook, Reaper!Rook... You sound very lovely. Excuse my while I go brain rot over this

[sunlightandsuffering]

The crazy Sacrilege fan here ! I LOVE THAT DRABBLE MIKASA IS SUCH AN UNHINGED FREAK I ADORE HER THANK YOU LYS THANK YOU !!! And Eren cares about her , « might even love her, just a little » LMFAO MR COP IS SO BUSTED !! If I may ask, how do you think they would react to a pregnancy scare ? I think crazy ass Mika might even like it, think it’s the Lord’s Will for them to be with child . Eren is head over heels for his little gf so he woudn’t mind giving her a child but he doesn’t want her to regret it later, she needs to go to college and start a career first!

AHAHAHA OMG ILY !!!! 💗💗 ur so funny lol!!! THEY'RE BOTH UNHINGED THO AND THAT'S WHAT WE LOVE THEM FOR, THE ABSOLUTE FUCKING CHAOS !!!!

omg okay, i can totally see this going like both ways, mostly bc I'm so anti religion bc of how much fucking shit it can create. So me, being a little shit, i'd love to go against the grain here and have Mikasa just be pRO CHOICE GIRLY !! Altho I do think she'd be like a little thrilled to have a child with Eren lol. LETS WRITE IT AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS!! bro tell me why they're so cute tho i like this drabble lol

Mikasa stares at the pregnancy test blankly, head knocked back against the bathroom cabinet of Eren’s apartment. Two little red lines to seal her fate, she should be thrilled.  

She isn’t. 

Contrary to her mother and every other girl in her church, Mikasa feels nothing but dread, cold, inescapable dread and suffocation. Because yes, a baby is cute, a baby is sweet, a baby would be the perfect embodiment of her and Eren’s love. They’d be the picture perfect happy family, the one people see on instagram, and she could be a stay at home mom and do all that ridiculous mom-fluencer stuff she sees.

The entire idea makes Mikasa want to throw up, and she’s not so sure it’s the pregnancy, because she isn’t that far along at all yet. 

She slumps, dropping the test to the floor beside her and blinking back stubborn tears, she wonders if this is God’s plan. Because surely, it must be? She wouldn’t be pregnant if it wasn’t His will. Hell, she’s already gone against the church by using birth control, condoms and the pill. 

So there’s really no other way she could have possibly gotten pregnant, right? Nothing else other than pure divine intervention would have allowed this. 

Mikasa sniffles meekly, a tear sleeping down her cheek despite her attempts not to cry and she wipes it away with her sleeve. Drawing her knees up to her chest, she crumples in on herself because what the fuck is she going to do? She’s not married, not yet at least, not in school yet –will probably have to drop out now actually– and her parents will most certainly withdraw what little support they were willing to provide her. She can hear it now, they’re going to call her sweet little baby a bastard, the church will gossip, her youth group will turn on her, and the pastor will look at her with eyes full of disgust at every turn. The tears flow faster now, slipping down her cheeks freely, and before she realizes it, she’s sobbing alone in Eren’s apartment bathroom, utterly alone. 

And there’s that too, isn’t there, how Eren will react. She doesn’t know, doesn’t want to lose him, but what if it’s too soon? Eren isn’t that old, only 24 and still working his way up in the force, he probably doesn’t want a baby yet either. 

He’s certainly never talked about it, and it has Mikasa tearing up all over again, because she’s going to lose him, and her parents again all at once. And she can’t lose him, she just can’t, she loves him. What had started as pure angsty rebellion had turned into love so quickly she doesn’t even know when it started. But he’s so supportive, hot, and so fucking good for her if she thinks about it, had told her just to fucking move in when her parents had gotten fussy over their break-up. He’d shrugged like it was no big deal, “Don’t worry about rent, Mika, just as long as you sleep in my bed.” Then, he’d left for work with a wink, and Mikasa for the first time in her life had real fucking independence, the very thing she’d been yearning for, begging for when he’d fucked her on that alter. 

And now here she is, about to lose it all again, her shackles renewed by the responsibility of a child and all the pressures that come with being a mom before she’s financially ready or responsible in the slightest. 

There is a click outside and Mikasa inhales sharply, glancing at her watch, because how long has she been in this bathroom moping? It’s 9:00 am on the dot, Eren is home, having just gotten off an overnight shift, and she can already hear him stomping around, seeking her out. “Mikasa,” He calls, and she slaps a hand over her mouth to keep quiet, for what she doesn’t know, he’ll find her eventually. “Baby where are you, I can see your shoes by the door, come out.” She doesn’t, fear paralyzes her, this agony of what to do, to tell him, not to tell him, to just run away and give it up for adoption, show up again in nine months and hope he doesn’t hate her. But Eren is a cop, surely he’d find her no matter where she went? And he does, just like he’d find her if she ran away, sweeping the apartment methodically before coming to the bathroom door, just off his bedroom. 

He knocks, “Miki, what are you doing?” She doesn’t answer, just grabs the pregnancy test, holds it closer as the two positive red lines blur together, tears flowing freely again. It takes Eren one attempt, one fucking shot to jimmy the lock open, and he’s leaning against the door frame like an avenging angel as he looks her over. He’s terrifying, clad in his police uniform, black cargo pants with so many pockets and that tight long sleeve shirt that goes under his body armour. 

He quirks a brow up at her as he notices her tears, eyes scanning her over, and she can pinpoint the exact moment he notices the pregnancy test, his teeth coming down to bite into his lip, his only nervous tic. “So,” He asks casually, “Pregnant?” She nods meekly, a sob working its way up her throat, all she can think to do is apologize, because obviously it’s her fault, “I’m so sorry Eren.” 

She should have never slept with him, never disobeyed God like this, it’s her punishment, and she just spirals, ugly crying in her boyfriend’s bathroom at 8 am on a wednesday. “Oh Miki no, it takes two, okay,” Eren half laughs as he kneels down next to her, tucking a strand of hair out of her eyes. He wipes the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs, cupping her face with more love and affection than she’s ever known in her life, “It was definitely more me if I recall correctly, in the back of my squad car, in the kitchen,” He smirks, looking down at her, “Yesterday morning in the shower.” Mikasa smacks him for that, choking out a laugh, “Stop it, I’m sad right now.” Eren chuckles, sitting down next to her and grabbing her hand with the pregnancy test to look at it himself. “You don’t have to be sad Miki, it doesn’t have to be a big thing you know.” 

She leans into him, her head on his shoulder as she thinks about it, “Eren I’m gonna get huge and fat, it’s definitely gonna be a thing and people are definitely going to notice.” He bumps her with his shoulder lightly, “Nah you’d be cute pregnant, and fuck,” He groans as if he’s thinking about it, “Your tits would definitely get even better.” Mikasa gasps, smacking his arm again, and before she can stop him he’s going in for a squeeze that has her yelping because yeah, she’s already a little more sensitive. He smirks, more smug than he has any right to be in this situation, ten minutes ago she was crying her eyes out. 

“So does this mean you want it, then, that you’ll support me?” Mikasa asks hopefully and Eren squeezes her thigh, looking down at her with more intensity than she knew him capable of, “Mikasa of course I’ll support you in whatever you decide to do, this would be my kid too.” He pauses and Mikasa waits, looking up at him earnestly, ready to accept whatever else he has to say, because he’s Eren and he so obviously loves her. “I know it’s a little taboo in the church community, but have you thought about getting an abortion?” Mikasa cracks, heaving out a great sob, and before she knows it she’s in Eren’s lap with him shushing her as she whispers all her fears into his neck, “You don’t want it, you’re lying you just- you just want to appease me and –” “Mikasa,” Eren kisses his way up her neck, voice right at her ear, “I’m not lying, but look at me.” He cups her chin roughly, tilting her head up so she’s forced to look into those pretty green eyes, “Baby you’re in school, you haven’t even started yet, and I’ve heard you, fuck baby I’ve heard you talk about school so many times and how much you want to be a nurse.” He leans down, so their foreheads touch, and he leans into her, “And as much as I’d love to see you pregnant, how fucking pretty you’d be, cute as hell waddling around my house knocked up with my fucking kid, it would also suck a lot because I know Mikasa that you’d be miserable, would be delaying your dreams for several years at the very fucking least and I could never ask you to do that.” Mikasa inhales shakily, relaxing into him now, the hand on her thigh, the other at the nape of her neck, how warm and solid he is against her, Eren. 

She tilts her head up for a kiss, something soft, chaste, comfort. 

He kisses her softly, all gentle affection, his hand rubbing over her thigh to keep her calm and when she pulls back she’s calmer, more stable in his arms. 

“Is it allowed?” She whispers, almost nervously, afraid she’ll be shot down by the universe at the mere suggestion. Eren laughs, his hand drifting up to her hip to tug her closer in his lap, “Of course it’s allowed Mikasa, no one has to know we have free health care you know, we’ll just you know, schedule you an appointment, I don’t think it’s that hard.” “Really?” she mumbles, “Just like that?” “I think so, I mean obviously I haven’t had one, but I don’t think it’ll be that difficult, we can call in a minute.”

“Okay,” she mumbles and Eren kisses her again, nipping her cheek as he demands her attention, “But I want to know you’re doing it for you, not because of me or anything else, this has to be your decision Mikasa and I’m just along for the ride.” She sighs, “I think you’re right, I just didn’t want to be the one to say it, but before you got here all I could think about was how much it was going to fuck up my life.” Eren gasps, and she looks up, suddenly afraid, does he think she’s disgusting, a worthless human being because of it? His eyes are alight with amusement, “You swore, what a naughty little church girl you are.” 

She smacks him and violently, which has him cackling, and he uses his leverage to go in for another kiss, which she accepts gratefully. “As long as it’s your decision Mikasa, I don’t care, hell I kind of agree, I’m not sure if I’d be a great dad right now, I’m too selfish. I wanna keep you to myself for as long as I can.” Mikasa laughs, “Then maybe we’d better start using better protection.” “Yeah, we’re also scheduling you for an IUD appointment, because fuck are you bad at taking those pills.” She winces, “I took it this morning.” Eren looks at her in disbelief, “Miki you’re already pregnant.” “Well, I tried not to be,” She tells him poutily and Eren pinches her waist, “You did a shit job.” “We just agreed it was your fault!” 

Eren smiles deviously, “Yeah it is, and it’s about to be my fault again.” 

He yanks her down against him, a devilish gleam in his eyes, and she can feel his very obvious erection right against the soft of her cunt, separated only by the thin layer of her pyjama pants. 

“Have you been hard the entire time?” “I’m not a monster, just since you swore, it just does things to me, it’s not my fault, really it’s yours.” “Oh my God,” Mikasa groans, and she can feel Eren below her, grinding her down against his cock, that guilty look on his face, “Holy fuck does it turn you on when I’m like bad?” “Is that blasphemous of me?” 

“God yes,” She tells him and then she’s kissing him, because no one else but Eren Yeager has ever made being bad feel so good.