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thisblogisaboutabook · 10 months ago

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Bad Idea, Right? - Part 5

Eris x Reader/Azriel’s Daughter

Azriel has a heart-to-heart with Y/N. Eris gets the cold shoulder. After a night out, Y/N learns that Eris has yet another secret.

Part 3 Part 4 Part 6

Warnings: alcohol, language, sexual content

A soft rap at the door brought me to consciousness. Slowly I sat up, rubbing my palms over bleary eyes in an effort to wipe the heavy weight of sleep from them.

Azalea must have snuck out of bed at some point early in the morning. I huffed a laugh at the kid clearly valuing sleep as little as privacy.

“Come in.” My groggy voice rasped, barely more than a whisper.

A pause and then the door slowly opened. I knew this was inevitable but gods, first thing in the morning?

“Hey…” my father said, quietly padding in with a tray in his hands.

“Hey...”

With a shrug of his shoulders he gestured the tray toward me “I, um- I brought food.”

at least the awkwardness was mutual.

A half smile crossed my lips. “I see that.”

Sitting the tray down next to me, he looked down at the edge of the bed, “May I?”

Best get it over with, I suppose.

“Sure.”

He sat, situating his wings so that they wouldn’t knock over the tray. “I know chocolate croissants are your favorite. Your mom offered to make them but I know how much you love the ones from that bakery down by the Sidra so….”

“Thanks, dad.” Avoiding eye contact, I stared at the pastries before me.

We sat in silence for a moment, my eyes finally meeting his. “Want to share one with me?”

Relief crossed his features at the invitation. “That would be great. If you don’t mind.”

I rolled my eyes. “When have we not shared our croissants with eachother? Besides, I see you included two tea cups - or were you expecting me to dual-fist them? I typically reserve that for shots.”

He chuckled. “You used to have tea parties with your toy pegasus, you know. Your shadows would lift the tea cup and pastries to its mouth. That extra cup could have been for anyone.”

“Oh gods. How embarrassing.”

He stared off for a minute, a flash of longing overtaking his features before returning back to the croissants. “Not at all. Your imagination, Y/N, you’ve always known how to sprinkle joy into life. The bond you created with your shadows at such a young age is nothing to be embarrassed of. It’s so different than when I-“

His voice cut out, those damned memories too painful to verbalize.

I extended my hand, resting it atop one of his scarred hands. “I know. I hate them for what they did to you.”

“I don’t need you to hate them for me, love. I just love you and, selfishly, hope that a little bit of that joy was sparked by the environment you grew up in.”

“Are you fishing for a compliment, father?”

His lips quirked as he gestured toward himself. “Me? Never.” he mocked.

I squeezed his hand lightly. “I love you, dad.”

We ate our croissants in companionable silence. Once finished, he paused, taking a breath as if to brace himself.

Aaaand here we go

“So, you and Eris Vanserra?”

“Ugh.. do we have to do this?”

“Can’t we talk about it a little bit? I just want to know that you’re okay.”

Dramatically, I grabbed my pillow and let out an exasperated scream into it.

“I promise this is as uncomfortable for me as it is for you.”

“I really don’t want to discuss it.”

“Please, Y/N, don’t shut me out. You don’t have to give me details, I don’t think I can stomach details anyway. Just, please tell me you’re okay. That you’re safe and comfortable in his care?”

“I care for myself dad. I’m an adult female completely capable of making my own decisions. This was MY choice. He has never pressured me into anything that I am not comfortable with. Consent is very important to him.”

He sat contemplatively for a moment. He was carefully toeing a line that he didn’t wish to trip up.

Running a hand along the back of his neck with a wary expression. “As long as you are safe and happy. That’s all I can ask.”

“Happy.” I scoffed to myself.

Agitation immediately shifted my father’s expression “You’re not happy?”

“I’m fine dad. But, don’t expect him to come to family dinner anytime soon. I’m not sure that I’m going to pursue things further with him.”

“What happened?”

I looked to the side in an attempt to hide the hurt in my expression. “Nothing.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Sensing the finality of my statement, he sighed. “Okay. If you change your mind, just let me know.”

He stood up, kissing my forehead as he picked up the tray, placing the remaining tea on the side table. “Please talk to your mother about her vision. She’s worried about you too but isn’t as… persistent as I can be.”

“Spymaster, indeed. Speaking of - tell the sneak she can come in.”

“Wh-“ he began, clipping the question as he opened the door to find my sister’s ear pressed up to the other side.

“Azzy, we talked about this.” he chastised.

“I was just listening to see when I could come in! You said it’s rude to interrupt conversations.”

“Touché.” he called over his shoulder as he walked down the hall.

Azalea’s little feet padded over. “Are you okay sissy?”

“Yeah, Azzy. I’ll be fine. Want to have a tea party?” Her face lit up with joy at the question, little wings twitching in excitement.

——————

That evening I was reading a particularly salacious smutty novel and - as if he had a sense for such things - as my fingers dipped below the band of my silken shorts a note appeared on my night stand.

“I’m lonely without my favorite little Shadowsinger spread out on my bed.”

“I’m sure you are.” I muttered to myself, eyes rolling impossibly far back into my head. I chucked his note into the fireplace and did not deign to respond.

Two hours later another note appeared.

“Don’t be shy - come spend the night.”

“Awww. I’m sure your hand can keep you company. Get fucked, Eris.”

“Are you offering, little one?”

Why’d he have to fuck up our perfectly suitable arrangement with his scheming? Truly there was nothing more I wanted than to go bask in the warmth of his bed while he worshipped me from head to toe but…

Ugh. Once again, another note lost to the fireplace. Let the conniving prick stew on his choices. He’d eventually get the message whether I wrote to him or not. He can keep his secrets just as I can keep my hands and mouth among other assets to myself.

——————

Two days and five flirtatious unanswered notes later, I needed to get out of the house. Considering I was pissed at my obvious choice for release, I had to seek an alternative source of entertainment.

Unfortunately, Nyx was out of town “on emissary business” aka “fucking around in the Spring Court.” but at least Adish was available for a visit to Velaris. He winnowed in from Day bringing a gorgeous female with bronzed skin, braided black hair, and golden-brown eyes. A male with dark skin and braids accompanied them, his eyes appearing even more golden than the former, and muscles that could have been handcrafted by the gods. Damn. I had heard of these two, two of Adish’s close friends in his court, but he’d certainly undersold their beauty. Rhys must have approved them for a visit to Velaris with Adish. Luckily for me - I was suddenly available to mingle.

“Y/N” Adish introduced the female first, “This is Hemera, Hem for short.” The female held her chin high before giving a warm, confident nod of greeting. Gesturing toward the equally beautiful male, Adish continued, “This is Apollo - who is rivaled only by Helion in his reputation with the ladies and males of the Day Court.” The tall, broad male only grinned - a beautiful, devious thing - in return. Oh, he was well aware of the amount of eyes lingering on him in this establishment. I couldn’t blame them. Hell, I was one of them.

The night included many shots, mostly compliments of those hoping to garner the attention of Hem and Apollo. And maybe it was the liquor talking but Apollo only seemed to have his eyes on me. After several “accidental” brushes of our hands and thighs - I garnered up the nerve to pull Apollo out onto the dance floor, with Hemera and Adish closely behind.

The dance floor was a blur of colors and bodies and music and motion. My backside pressed tightly against Apollo as his considerably large hands gripped my waist. And unless he had snuck a large dagger onto the dance floor with him, something as hard as steel was pressed against my back.

Damn, those hands correlated quite nicely if my drunken assessment was to be relied upon.

Turning to face him I was greeted by his gorgeous smile and pupils blown wide with lust. The very evident scent of arousal flooding my nostrils. He wanted me, bad. And I just so happened to feel particularly uncommitted at this point in time.

We swayed against eachother for a while longer before Apollo tilted his head in silent question toward a dimly lit corner of the bar, a corner I knew quite well from past endeavors. I only smirked in return as he took my hand and led me over.

Nobody could see us as my shadows shrouded us effectively blocking any view that the darkened corner hadn’t already obstructed. His mouth was on mine in an instant. My hands roamed his broad chest as one of his hand found the curve of my ass and another caressed my jaw. I opened my mouth, allowing access. He was so fucking attractive. My body practically screamed for more but something in my chest pulled as a pang of emptiness tore through me. Fuck it felt so-

So…

Wrong.

“Wait.” I pulled away.

Apollo instantly pulled back staring at me in question.

“I’m sorry, I can’t…”

Disappointment briefly flashed over his features before he gave me a sad, knowing look. “Adish warned me before coming here that you might be otherwise engaged - but when I saw you. Can you blame me? I’m sure you’ve seen yourself in a mirror. Please accept my apologies for taking it too far.”

Relief flooded over me. I owed this man nothing, but his understanding was reassuring. “I appreciate it and I’m sure you’ve seen yourself in the mirror as well. Can you blame me for falling into temptation? You have nothing to apologize for considering I was rather eager to sneak off with you.”

He only extended an arm, “Come on, let’s get back to our friends.”

We headed to the dance floor but that damned pang jolted through me again. Was it guilt? Fuck, I couldn’t feel guilty. Eris and I were not committed and he certainly didn’t deserve my guilt after keeping secrets from me.

The only logical solution to numbing this foreign feeling was-

“Another round of shots!” Hem called out, walking up beside me. She nudged me playfully, “You look like you could use one my friend.”

I fluttered my eyelashes toward the gorgeous female. “We’ve only known eachother a few hours and you get me! You really get me.”

The shots appeared before us and we cheers’d eachother before throwing them back. The rest of the night filled with dancing and more shots, until Adish proclaimed he was going back to the inn he was staying at.

“Why not just stay at Nyx’s place? He’s out of town.”

A gleam shone in his eyes that only meant trouble. “I don’t think Nyx would appreciate the activities that would be taking place tonight in his bed, among other surfaces.”

I looked behind him to see Hem and Apollo staring hungrily toward him.

Oh.

Oh!

“We’d offer an invitation but you seem to be missing a certain Uncle of mine too much to partake.”

“I refuse to respond to such nonsense. Regardless, you feel too much like family at this point. Which, gross, don’t read into that - but I’m going home. Thanks for coming out to cheer me up tonight.” I kissed my friend on the cheek before exclaiming loudly enough for his companions to hear. “As your High Lord himself would say: Don’t do anything Helion wouldn’t do!”

——————

Typically I would winnow home but alcohol and winnowing are not my specialty. I’ve ended up in too many wrong places over the years and had far too many shots tonight to even consider.

My body was overheated from the liquor and dancing and my heart still kept getting hit with waves of…. Ugh, feelings.

Like a raving lunatic, I strolled alongside the Sidra. Cursing Eris, bargains, feelings, great sex, and everything else that came to mind. Fortunately, Velaris has a very low crime rate and I wouldn’t have to worry about anybody with ill intentions approaching the sweaty female shrouded in manic shadows, stumbling around and talking to herself.

No matter how hard I’d try, my thoughts kept circling back to him. And I must have hit the alcohol way harder than I realized as a blur of red came into view, coming closer and closer to me.

“Adish?”

“Hello, little one.”

The unmistakable seductive voice that I knew far too well caressed my senses as a warm, muscled arm wrapped around my shoulder.

“Eris.”

“It appears you’ve had a lot to drink, darling. You’re literally stumbling in the wrong direction. Let’s get you home.”

Fuck. How much did I drink?

I opened my mouth to speak but pain tore through my stomach, nausea rolling through me. It was all I could do to turn away from Eris and puke onto the street.

“I…. I need to sit for a while. I can’t go home like this.”

“Come on Shadowsinger, we’ll go back to my place then.”

“Fuck.” I muttered. My vision spinning. “I can’t make it home! Let alone” I paused as another wave tore through me. “Back to the Autumn Court.”

Eris paused for a moment, seemingly in a moment of uncertainty before releasing a long sigh.

“I know love. We’ll go back to my apartment - it’s two blocks from here. Think you can make it?”

My only response was to turn away and throw up onto the sidewalk again before blurting out:

“What the fuck?”

———————————————

Tags: @b0xerdancer @myheartfollower @ang-taylorsversion @acotarobsessed @uniquecolorwizard @justasillylittlegoofyguy

#sarah j maas #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #azriel #a court of silver flames #a court of frost and starlight #a court of mist and fury #a court of wings and ruin #daddy eris #eris x oc #eris vanserra #eris acotar #eris x reader #bad idea right #acotar x Olivia Rodrigo #inspired by olivia rodrigo

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holllandtrash · 1 year ago

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gone | daniel ricciardo

pairing: daniel ricciardo x driver!reader (part 3 to fragile line)

I just know You're not gone You can't be gone

The 2023 season is painful, its challenging and Daniel is still very much in your life in all the ways he shouldn't be.

word count: 9.9k (i dont even know how) warnings/tags: angst, heartbreak, all the painful stuff

“I don’t want to do this anymore.”

“Do what?”

You exhaled a breath that made your entire body shake, “You know what, Daniel.”

Of course he did. For the last few months, he was experiencing the exact same things you were. The uncertainty, the tension, the sleepless nights, god you were so tired.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be you and him. You were supposed to be a team.

So much went wrong, too much. Daniel stood in front of you now as you asked yourself if you were too far gone.

And you both knew the answer to that one.

That first race back in Hungary…you were a mess. You probably would have been a little bit more put together had Oliver not pointed out the lineup for the driver’s press conference.

“You’re kidding,” your jaw dropped, staring at the list. “Who’s smart idea was it to put myself and Daniel together?”

“This is Formula 1,” Oliver sounded apologetic, he did feel bad about the situation. “The FIA doesn’t care if he’s your ex.”

The FIA didn’t care but the entire world watching did. Speculations on what would happen, where you would sit, what would be asked flooded social media.

When you showed up on Thursday, Lando patted your back and told you to breathe.

“Easier said than done, Lando. I don’t see you being forced to sit with your ex.”

He chuckled at that because you had a point. “Look, I love Danny, but don’t let him get to you, alright?”

Originally, Lando did try to switch the sessions. He talked to Zak, PR, everyone, just because he knew how much you were dreading it. But alas, it was you who was now standing outside the media room, leaning against the wall as you waited to go in and get these next twenty minutes over and done with.

Your plan was to just say as little as possible to everyone. You were banking on the fact that the attention would be solely on Daniel and his return, and that was made clear when he walked into the hallway, getting warm greetings from other drivers and those standing nearby.

He had absolutely no reason to stand next to you, not when there were about ten other people who would have been dying for a few seconds of his time.

Daniel cleared his throat, hands behind his back as he leaned against the wall as well.

You counted six seconds before he opened his mouth, speaking to you for the first time since the awards dinner months ago.

“Not even a hello?” He asked, but he wasn’t the least bit surprised that you were completely avoiding looking in his direction. You ignored him and Daniel laughed to himself at your lack of response.

The door opened again and you took a breath of relief when you realised you were about to be called into the press conference. Just get it over and done with.

Daniel didn’t have the same priorities and spoke up again, “I just want to know-”

You promptly cut him off, you had to. “Look I think it would be best if we just-” god this hurt, you couldn’t even look him in the eye. “Let’s just not talk, okay?”

You pushed yourself away from the wall when one of the media assistants handed each of you a mic and gave you the thumbs up that it was time for the five of you to head out onto the couch. Daniel quickly followed behind you, voice low enough that you could hear but it was unlikely anyone else could.

“So that’s it? You have nothing to say to me?” He asked. “For the person who got you into Formula 1?”

You as well spoke in a harsh whisper, “You may have fast tracked my career but I could have made it to Formula 1 without your help.”

You liked to believe that was true. Was it? You’d never know now.

“But you did take my help,” he pointed out, a groan slipping past his lips as he sat down on the couch. You made sure to distance yourself from him, leaving room for Carlos to sit between you. Even still, Daniel wasn’t done. “You took my help, my resources and then my seat.”

“And what did you do?” You hissed, arms crossed over your chest as different media personnel started to slowly trickle into the room, the lucky ones who claimed the first row were probably close enough to hear you and Daniel.

“Pardon?” He turned his head towards you. Carlos instinctively leaned further back, not wanting to be in the middle of this conversation, but watching and listening intently, as were the other drivers.

“What did you do, hmm?” You repeated, eyes scanning the growing crowd before you snapped your head in his direction.

For a moment, this feud didn’t matter. Your heart skipped a beat, like it had the hundreds, thousands, of other times when his eyes met yours. The same brown eyes that for months you allowed yourself to get lost in. One look from him and everything around you faded to black. Nothing else seemed important when Daniel was looking at you, giving you his undivided attention.

But this moment wasn’t like all of those other ones.

You snapped out of it, returning to your original thought, much to Carlos’ dismay as he thought you guys were done and had started to relax in between you.

“We both replaced a driver before their contract was up, Daniel.” You stated, wanting to point out the hypocrisy in his actions. “You are no better than me. We did the exact same thing.”

“It wasn’t the same and you know it,” Daniel retorted, not skipping a beat. He had those words lined up for weeks now, waiting for the chance to say them because there was no way in hell you weren’t going to point out the similarities in your actions.

But Daniel was right. It wasn’t the same. The biggest difference being, you were in love with Daniel when you signed that contract with McLaren, and he was in love with you.

It wasn’t just a driver screwing over another driver. You drove a wedge between the two of you.

You had the thought to stand up and walk out. The press conference hadn’t officially started yet, the last few reporters were just finding their seats. You could say you’re ill, something came up, really any excuse to get out of here and away from Daniel’s harsh stare.

Don’t let him get to you. Lando’s reminder floated to the front of your mind and you forced yourself to just sit back and look at the small crowd instead. It was clear to everyone who even glanced your way that you did not want to be sitting there, but thankfully Tom Clarkson got the session up and running.

Of course Daniel was the star. Tom had questions about his return, about his short break, about being back with familiar faces. Daniel answered them all with such ease, the familiar heartwarming grin on his face that you couldn’t bear to look at.

You zoned out, really, arms crossed in front of your chest as you tried to ignore the double standards coming from your right. You doubted Daniel was going to get as much hate online as you had gotten. No one was asking him how he felt about taking another’s seat, everyone was just happy he was back.

“And Y/N, onto you-”

You snapped your head up, plastering on your best smile.

“Last year you finished quite high in Hungary in Formula 2 and after your best finish out in Silverstone, you must feel quite confident going into this weekend?”

You lifted the mic up to your lips, “Yes and no, you know the car’s upgrades are proving to be paying off and we’re hoping to use them to our advantage this weekend but one can never be too confident. As a team we’ll be fighting to be at the front again but in the back of our minds we know that everyone else is doing the same.”

Tom nodded, content with that answer, “And is it nice to have another familiar face on the grid? Daniel acted as a sort of mentor for you during your time in F2, did he not?”

You tensed up and next to you, Carlos felt it. He nudged his arm against yours, a subtle move of encouragement. Carlos, like most of the drivers, knew how uncomfortable the situation was for all involved.

But you couldn’t process the kind gesture. Not when you could practically feel Daniel staring at you, burning holes into the side of your head as he waited for your response.

“I think, yeah a lot of people are probably happy to welcome him back,” you spoke quietly, and not at all convincing. But hey, at least you removed yourself from the answer and gave a general response. One that no one could flip on you.

Tom tried, though, “But personally, what’s going through your mind right now?”

You had so much media training. You knew the proper answer would be something along the lines of how Daniel is a great asset to the sport and how the grid is better with him. Nothing personal, but just facts the general public could agree with. You knew what to say.

But you scoffed instead, “Why aren’t you asking the other drivers how they feel?”

Max spoke up from the opposite end of the couch, “It’s great having Daniel back.”

You shot him a quick, yet thankful, smile. While he was good friends with Daniel, anyone on that couch could see how that question was only given to you because of your history with the Australian. And this press conference was supposed to be about motorsport, about the racing coming up.

You stayed quiet for the rest of it and as soon as it ended you bolted out of that room.

Unfortunately, so did Daniel.

He caught up to you with ease, “Hold up, Y/N, I want to talk.”

Daniel reached for your arm and you pulled it out of his grasp as you turned around to face him, “I don’t think there’s anything left to say. No, you said plenty last year. What was it, exactly? Something about how taking your seat before your contract was even up was the worst thing I could have possibly done? I’m not going to sit there and listen to everyone praise you for coming back when you dragged my name through the dirt for the exact same fucking move. I’m not going to listen to a single thing you have to say, knowing you’re the biggest hypocrite this sport has ever seen but won’t admit it.”

Daniel huffed out a short breath. For a second, you thought he was going to apologise, but that thought quickly left when his forehead creased, his jaw tightening, “Sometimes you gotta burn a few bridges in this industry, but you figured that out all on your own, didn’t you?”

You shook your head, taking a few more steps backwards as heavy sarcasm dripped from your tongue, “Nice to have you back, Daniel.”

It really was anything but nice. Not when that entire race was focused on how you and Daniel interacted in the paddock- or the lack of interaction was probably a better way to phrase it. Everyone knew you two to be connected at the hip. Now you were turning around and walking in the opposite direction to avoid him.

The next race was worse. Spa. It was a challenging track already, you knew this going into the practice sessions. You were prepared for a difficult weekend.

What you weren’t prepared for was leaving the garage towards the end of Q1 to set a lap time, only to be blocked by Daniel before you could cross the finish line. He slowed down before the straight, like many drivers did before giving it all they had on their way to start a flying lap.

But Daniel didn’t speed up like you expected him to. He kept you behind him for as long as he could before shifting gears and taking off. When it was your turn to cross the line and get your time started, you heard the call come in from the garage.

“Times up,” your engineer, Ronnie, said through the radio. “You didn’t cross the line in time.”

Once that timer hit 0, no one was allowed to start a new lap. Every other driver made it across in time, but Daniel’s little move kept you from throwing your hat into the ring for Q2.

You embarrassingly made your way back around the track, pulling into the pit lane to park in the garage. It wasn’t long before other drivers followed, but they had all set lap times. Climbing out of the car, you noticed that Daniel didn’t make it through either.

Serves him right, you thought.

God, you wanted to give him a piece of your mind.

Right on time, you watched on the screen as Daniel dove into the pit lane. You ignored the calls from Ronnie and Oliver, not a single thought in your mind except to ask Daniel what his problem was.

Oliver knew what you were doing as soon as you stepped out of the garage. You ripped your helmet off and shoved it into his hands as he hurried to walk at your pace. Your eyes were set on the AlphaTauri garage just up ahead and you could hear Oliver warning you, telling you to just turn around and go back to McLaren but the second you saw Daniel get out of his car, you snapped.

“What the hell was that?” You asked, eyeing him up from where he stood at the garage opening.

Daniel wasn’t the least bit surprised to see you, but he did stand up straighter, already anticipating whatever you had to say to him.

“You’re a prick, you know that?” Your insult did little to offend him.

“It's not my fault you left the garage late,” Daniel shrugged, taking no responsibility for your inability to set a lap time.

“It’s completely your fault for slowing down more than necessary.”

“I didn’t want to run into traffic.”

“You fucked up my qualifying, Daniel.”

You felt Oliver’s hand on your shoulder. He wasn’t trying to pull you away, but the touch was to get your attention. Aside from AlphaTauri crew members watching this interaction, there was also a camera pointed directly at the two of you, streaming live to F1TV and whatever else broadcast that chose to air it.

Daniel wasn’t as concerned about his media appearance, stepping forward the slightest bit so you were only inches apart.

“If I were you, sweets, I wouldn’t be blaming your problems on the person who got you into this sport.”

You were so close to losing it on him for that comment. You probably would have, had he not thrown in his old nickname for you. Only it wasn’t sweet anymore. There was a distaste on his tongue as he said it, you heard it. He only said it to throw you off, to remind you that he no longer cared for you the way he used to. He was using it against you now.

Daniel saw the way you froze, completely losing your train of thought and he used it to his advantage to walk away from this conversation. He was happy to get the last word in and all you could do was drop your head and walk as close to Oliver as humanly possible as you made your way back to McLaren.

The altercation was heavily split down the middle by all who watched. Some people agreed that Daniel slowed down purposely to keep you from crossing the line in time to start a lap. They also agreed that he should have owned up and apologised for it, saying that it wasn’t in his character to leave another driver so defeated after something that was clearly his fault.

Other people agreed that it was your fault for leaving the garage too late, taking Daniel’s side. They said that it wasn’t very mature of you to confront him like that, or to swear at him. It only added to the conversation of how women weren’t ready to have a place in Formula 1.

Your PR manager advised you to put out a statement about it, an apology. You ignored her advice. In your opinion, the only person who had to apologise was Daniel.

Of course he didn’t, though.

Which meant you didn’t apologise when after the summer, In Zandvoort, you braked a little early when Daniel was behind you. You played it off saying you anticipated the turn too early. Daniel happily complained about you in the media pen when he was forced into the grass and then ultimately the barrier, forcing his race to end early. Social media blew up, like usual, feeding into this childish feud.

That’s how it went for most all, of the races. It wasn’t as though you were purposely trying to ruin his weekends, nor was it his goal to ruin yours, but if you happened to be alongside each other during the race or near each other during qualifying, fans started to put their money on who would target who first.

You didn’t like that that was what your weekends turned into. It was one thing to want to know where the rest of the drivers were in comparison to you, but to be so focused on Daniel was taking it to the extreme.

But you were determined to prove you were a good driver without him, that you were a better driver than him. That taking that McLaren seat wasn’t a mistake and if anything, he should be regretting being so harsh on you. You wanted him to eat his words, and it helped your case that he was definitely struggling in the AlphaTauri.

You finished ahead of him a handful of times. You could try and convince yourself it was skill, but a determining factor really was how horrible Daniel’s car was. That was proven when you were struggling with an upgrade package in Singapore. Some analysts compared the pace of the McLaren to the AlphaTauri, and said that the upgrades were really more like downgrades.

When Daniel finished ahead of you, claiming sixth that race while you crossed the line in 17th, you were furious. You told the team that as a whole, you were much better than that. That the McLarens should not be finishing in the bottom five considering how successful you had been mid season.

Those closest to you knew what you meant. You shouldn’t be finishing behind Daniel.

Things weren’t perfect after that, despite going back to the old set up. You were back to fighting for points, but so was Daniel. And you hated it. You thought you could rely on the McLaren being better than the AlphaTauri, but you forgot to take into account that Daniel truly was one of the best drivers on the grid.

It got to the point where you and Ronnie had a code. If you finished ahead of him, on the radio, Ronnie would say way to go champ. If Daniel finished ahead of you and you weren’t already aware of it during the race, Ronnie would say there’s still work to be done.

Again, those closest to you knew how much it meant to beat Daniel.

You wanted to prove to him, and everyone but you wouldn’t lie to yourself it was mostly him, that you deserved that fucking seat. That you made the right choice by signing the contract, despite it meaning he was without a car for a few months. You shouldn’t have felt guilty for putting yourself first, your career first, if you were doing something great, which you were.

Plus, the better you did, the less of a reason Daniel had to judge you. How could he still be upset with you for taking that McLaren seat when you were doing what he couldn’t? Scoring in the high points, being consistent, for the most part. How could he say that taking his seat was the worst thing you could have done when ultimately, it would boil down to jealousy? Daniel struggled in that McLaren, and he assumed you would too. That wasn’t the case.

And deep down, even if you didn’t want to admit it, there was still a part of you that aimed to make Daniel proud. Even if you couldn’t get back to when you were each other's biggest fans, you hoped that he had moments when he looked at the driver standings and nodded to himself, smiling maybe, because even if you weren't on the best of terms, you were doing what he always knew you could do.

You had no idea, but moments like that did come for Daniel. They were far and few between, rarely caught on camera or at least, never brought to your attention. You had no way of knowing Daniel was leaving the AlphaTauri garage, conflicted about how he felt about your accomplishments. You were doing better than him, there was no denying that. He just chose not to admit it.

The only time that season where you knew he was proud was at COTA. One of his favourite races on the calendar.

You qualified well, P3. That hadn’t happened since Silverstone. The race itself didn’t produce anything too horrible, aside from a few drivers at the back of the grid collided early on and unfortunately Daniel was one of them, being forced to retire.

You, though, you were flying. Your biggest competition was Lando who had started P2, again, similar to Silverstone. For most of the race, your job was to defend Carlos who was aiming for that podium, wanting to take P3 from you.

Typically, you would have boxed first. That’s usually what happened to give Lando the advantage. And with Carlos most likely being on an undercut strategy, you expected the call to come in to box ahead of him.

But that didn’t happen. Instead, you watched Lando pull into the pit lane, giving you the automatic second place position. In your mirrors, you watched as Carlos pulled into the pits as well.

“What’s going on?” You asked Ronnie through the headset.

“Plan F.”

Plan F was one you joked about, but never actually executed. Plan Fight you and Lando called it, but both of you knew that you’d never actually be given the go ahead to fight it out for the podium positions, not wanting to risk damage to the cars.

“Plan F?” You repeated, the shock in your voice evident. That made for good content on F1 Twitter.

“Box this lap,” Ronnie instructed before going on to explain. “Carlos is struggling with his pace, we believe his main goal will be to defend.”

From what you knew, Lewis was behind him, and if Carlos was struggling with his pace he wouldn’t be fighting for a podium, he’d be fighting to keep that fourth place position.

Which meant you and Lando were also free to fight.

Pitting for new tyres dropped you back a bit, but it didn’t take long at all until you were right on Lando’s tail again. You stayed there for the majority of the last half of the race, the gap wavering anywhere between half of a second to three seconds behind.

You tried to pass, truly. But Lando’s defensive game had always been strong. You looked for the opportunities in the corners, along the straights, but it wasn’t until the third to last lap did the chance come.

You had closed the gap as much as you could, not needing to worry about whoever was behind you, you figured it was still Carlos. As you approached the back straight, you knew Lando was expecting you to dart to the left in an attempt for an overtake on the inside, you had tried it in five out of the last ten laps and each time you were still left eating his dust.

You veered slightly to the left, giving Lando the impression that was your goal and the second he made the move to defend, you steered the car to the right and gave it everything you had. It was a tricky move, vying for the outside overtake going into the tight corner, but when it seemed to work out, you had the inside line for the following turn and Lando was soon in your mirrors.

He tried to take that position back, but you took advantage of the clear air and set off, determined for your first podium, determined to finish ahead of Lando.

Lando ended up claiming third, crossing the finish line only a second after you did. After a victory lap, where he jokingly flipped you off, the two of you pulled into parc ferme. Immediately, you collapsed into Lando, arms tight around him because not only was this a success for you, but for the team. Both McLaren drivers on the podium for the first time this season.

Through the cheers, you could hear Lando yell something about making history. Whether that was in regards to both of you or the fact that you were the first female to ever podium in F1, you weren’t sure. It didn’t matter anyway. You just knew you were proud.

You jumped into the arms of your team next, those standing behind the barrier. Adrenaline was pumping through you, you just wanted to celebrate with everyone. When you eventually took your helmet off, a few tears were streaming down your face and you didn’t even think about the risk of turning into the new George Russell crying meme.

You were shaking as you stood in the cool down room, too amped up to sit. Max had been through this dozens of times before. Nor was this Lando’s first podium either, but you were on top of the world.

The ceremony went by in a blur. As did the post race conference. You really did try to take in each second of it, thankful that Lando was there at your side the entire time. This entire process was new to you and if Lando wasn’t in your ear telling you to breathe, where to go, to enjoy the moment, you would have been a mess.

There was so much that happened following that race, there was no way you could have known what was going on with any of the other drivers. It wasn’t until you got back to your hotel room at the end of the day with instructions to ‘get changed because we’re going out’ from Lando, did you see what you had missed.

It felt like hours since you even looked at your phone. You had called your parents, but you didn’t have much time for anything else. Now that you were sat on the edge of your bed, you were able to scroll through your texts and notifications.

You were able to see the clip you were tagged in way too many times, on way too many platforms.

It was short, but any longer and you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself. You clicked play and watched the video of you crossing the finish line. Lando was following behind, but whatever broadcast this was from didn’t care about his finish. The shot switched to Daniel, from where he stood in the AlphaTauri garage.

Whoever was filming caught his live reaction of you coming second at COTA.

The nod, the faint curl of the corner of his lips because as much as he tried, he couldn’t fight the smile on his face as he watched you take your first podium position in F1, something that he once dreamed for you.

But you not being part of his dreams anymore didn’t mean that he stopped wishing you accomplished yours.

This brought you back to the first video you watched of him a few years back, before you even met him, where he spoke so highly of you. He wanted you to succeed so badly back then and he wanted to be at your side while you did so.

Now here you were, succeeding, but where was Daniel?

Maybe that’s where some of his hostility lied. You didn’t need him, clearly. Or at least, that’s what he thought.

The reality was, you wanted to prove you could do this without him, but you wished you didn’t have to.

You were conflicted, you both were. And it didn’t help that you weren’t speaking civilly to each other because my god a simple conversation would probably do wonders for both of you.

That was Lando’s thought, as he sat down next to you in the booth and handed you the glass of coke, no rum much to his dismay. You didn’t drink during the season, even if you had something to celebrate, Lando knew this. Champagne on the podium was the only exception.

Tonight, though, as you sat in your thoughts and replayed the image in your mind of Daniel smiling up at the screen, you figured that another exception wouldn’t hurt.

You turned down the coke and grabbed his drink instead, downing it in one gulp and instantly regretting it because you were fairly certain it was tequila based and tequila just wasn’t something you ever enjoyed. Lando laughed and handed you the coke to chase it down with.

“You’re letting loose tonight?” He asked, sitting down beside you. His arm stretched across the bench behind your shoulders. He didn’t even try stifling his chuckle as you struggled with the bitter taste left in your mouth.

“I need to,” you answered.

“You deserve to,” he corrected. Lando reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet and then a sleek black card. He didn’t say anything to you, nor to the server who came by and knew that by him dropping the card on the table meant he was asking for bottle service.

It wasn’t long before you had a row of shots to split between the two of you and a few others who had crowded the booth, some you knew, some you didn’t. Not that it mattered, you just wanted to drink, you didn’t care who you were with.

Lando being there was a godsend, though. He knew that you were a lightweight and told you that the glass in your hand was a vodka soda when in reality he asked the server for you to just be given water after a few hours of the most carefree drinking he had ever witnessed from you.

The music was blaring, you had gotten up to dance at one point, but you kept finding your way back to the booth. Clubbing wasn’t your thing and Lando, whether he liked it or not, was an anchor for you tonight. He kept you safe, kept you from drowning in the sea of people and alcohol.

He could do a lot that night, but he couldn’t prevent the inevitable storm that was Daniel Ricciardo making an appearance at that Austin night club.

Lando saw him first and turned to you with the intention of suggesting that you both called it a night. But no words came out when he saw the painful look of desire and despair mashed together on your features as you spotted the Australian driver.

You didn’t drink often, but if you did, you would know that feelings are often elevated under the influence. You’d also know that alcohol lowers inhibition, giving you a false sense of security to say what was really on your mind.

“I don’t get it,” you spoke quietly and Lando leaned in closer to hear you over the music blasting from all corners.

“Get what?”

You pulled your gaze off of Daniel before you could accidentally make eye contact and looked at your teammate instead. He seemed concerned for you, he always did when Daniel was involved.

Lando always did what he could to get your mind off Daniel and the past. He was a good friend, a good person to have in your corner but he wasn’t who you wanted there at the end of the day. You had grown to love Lando, not in the way you loved Daniel, though, so you couldn’t deny that you wished it was the Aussie sitting next to you in the booth, celebrating your podium. You hated that you wanted that.

“Do you miss him, still?” Lando prompted, knowing you had lost your train of thought.

When you shook your head, Lando gave you a look that clearly showed he didn’t believe you, but it was true. You didn’t miss Daniel. What you felt was much worse.

“I don’t miss him,” you answered, glancing towards him again. He stood at the bar talking to a girl that you envied because at least she was talking to him. “But I think he’s my missing piece.”

You hadn’t felt whole since the day you and Daniel split. You walked out of his flat but you left a piece of you there, a piece you desperately tried to get back through race weekends and training and distractions but it was no use. It would always belong to Daniel and you feared he had no intention of giving it back. You feared, that no matter how much time had passed, you’d always feel a little incomplete.

You stood up to leave soon after, thanking Lando for the drinks and assuring him you’d send a text when you got back to the hotel.

Lando tried to follow you to the door, wanting to tell you that he would go with you, the concerned friend making another appearance, but before he could get a word out he watched as someone cut him off, also making a direct line towards the door of the club.

It took Lando a second to realise it was Daniel who was walking after you now. Lando just stood there and raised his hand to the back of his neck, asking himself if he had just made a mistake by not stopping Daniel.

When Lando asked the next morning if Daniel spoke to you, you gave him a questionable look, telling him that you didn’t talk to him at all. Lando explained that he had seen Daniel leave the club right after you, but you just shrugged, chalking it up to getting into the uber before Daniel had the chance to catch up to you.

But Lando saw the photos. He, like everyone else, saw images of Daniel climbing into the car right after you. He wasn't the least bit surprised you lied about it.

You didn't want to tell Lando that Daniel had grabbed the side of the car door before you could shut it, pulling it back just enough for him to slide into the backseat next to you. You shuffled over to make room, but you couldn’t get a single word out. All liquid courage vanished and instead your palms were clammy, the car felt stuffy and you couldn’t even look at him.

Daniel as well, didn’t say anything. His legs were spread out slightly, knee hitting yours as his hands were folded together in his lap.

Why did he follow you?

This was the first time in ages you had been alone together, minus the driver.

The hotel was a short drive away, but it felt like ages, the two of you sitting in uncomfortable silence. You weren’t bickering like you often did if you were in the same room, but at this point you’d rather that than whatever this eeriness was.

You thought maybe, maybe, this was your saving grace. Maybe Daniel had followed you out of the club to tell you he was proud of you, to tell you he still loved you, to tell you he was tired of this feud and wanted you back.

But the longer you sat in silence, the more it sank in that that wasn’t the case.

You used to love each other. Now you couldn’t even hold eye contact.

Daniel waited until the driver pulled onto the street of your hotel before saying anything.

“Checo’s gone after this year.”

You turned to him, unsure if you had heard correctly. “What?”

“He’s gone,” Daniel repeated, more confident this time, still not looking at you though. “Marko told me on Friday.”

You had way too much alcohol flowing through your system to be able to process this. Checo’s contract wasn’t supposed to be up until the end of 2024.

But Nyck’s wasn’t supposed to be up in June and Daniel’s wasn’t supposed to be done at McLaren in 2022. These things happened in Formula 1, as unfortunate as it was for the driver getting the boot, these things often happened.

And Daniel…why did he know this information? Why didn’t the rest of the grid know it? Did Checo even know?

You inhaled sharply, “Does this mean-”

“The news is dropping tomorrow morning, but I wanted you to know first,” Daniel cut you off, his forehead creased with tension. His jaw was clenched, like he wasn’t happy to be saying this but felt the need to anyway. “I’m driving for Red Bull next year.”

The first thought that came to mind was he’s done it again. Taking another driver's seat before their contact ended. 2-1 now. He was officially a shittier person than you were and you so badly wanted to rub it in his face.

But you could see now that that was why he told you personally. He didn’t want to wait until you heard the news like everyone else, he didn’t want to give you an opportunity to attack him for this, to make him feel like the bad guy even though that’s how he made you feel this entire season so far.

Surprisingly, it wasn’t all that difficult to bite your tongue.

“Congratulations,” you settled on, quietly but you meant it and you caught him off guard because he truly was expecting some sort of lashing out.

The driver pulled up to the hotel right at that second and you thanked him before stepping out, not giving Daniel a second look, again catching him off guard because you always looked back at him when you were together.

Daniel waited a second. And then a few more before he bolted out of the car and into the hotel. You had made it to the elevator by that point and Daniel had to slide his hand between the doors to keep them from shutting. You watched as he pushed his way in and just like the car ride, said nothing.

You were on your way up to the twelve floor and Daniel waited until you arrived at the level before opening his mouth, waiting till the last second, wanting to cling onto this civil moment with you because who knew when it would come again?

“You’re not mad?” He asked.

The door opened and you had to brace yourself before standing up straight and walking out of the elevator, needing a moment to remember what side of the hall your room was on.

“I’m livid,” you answered, honestly. You were happy for him, but you were also angry about the situation. You didn’t know it was possible to feel both things at once, but in your drunk state, it was extremely possible.

“Livid?” Daniel walked behind you, trying to gauge the rest of this conversation because you didn’t sound livid.

“Enraged,” you said.

“Enraged,” he repeated.

“I want to wring your neck, Daniel,” you said, hearing him chuckle behind you because you didn’t sound the least bit threatening as you fumbled to unlock the hotel room door. The lock kept lighting up red and after your third failed attempt, Daniel took the card from your hand and unlocked it with ease, pushing the door open for you.

You didn’t thank him, instead relying on the wall once you stepped inside to lean against as you pulled your heels off. Daniel followed you inside, standing at a cautious distance until you dropped your shoes because part of him thought that maybe you would throw them at him. You were enraged after all.

You weren’t sure why he was still there. He had told you what he wanted to tell you and he had no reason to still be hanging around.

“What?” You finally asked, now sounding a little more on the annoyed side as you turned to stare at him. “What do you want? Why are you still here?”

“I want to talk.”

“About what?” You scoffed at him. “About the Red Bull contract? Congratulations, Danny. You deserve it. You deserve every fucking seat on this grid apparently.”

There it was.

“I knew you were mad.”

“I said I was mad!” You exclaimed, appalled that he was saying it like he discovered what you had already made perfectly clear. “I’m pissed, Dan. You have such a cult following that no one is going to bat an eye at you taking Checo’s seat, just like no one complained about you taking Nyck’s. Whereas I do it, I get offered the chance of a lifetime, to make history and I’m considered the villain? I didn’t end your contract, Daniel, I just replaced you and for some reason, no one cares about that narrative! They just care about you.”

You were yelling now. Daniel was probably regretting having followed you but it was too late for him to turn and walk out at this point.

“You know what the shitty part is?” You asked, stepping closer to him. Daniel could smell the vodka on your breath. That's how minimal the distance was between you. The last time you were this close you were wanting to rip his head off outside the AlphaTauri garage.

“What?” He raised his eyebrows. Daniel couldn’t even begin to guess where you were going with this.

“This news is going to drop and my name is going to be circulating in the media again. They’re going to compare this, you taking his seat, to me taking yours. I will never be known as the first female signed to McLaren. I will forever be linked to you, no matter what you do in this fucking sport.”

You shook your head at him when he stayed silent. Pulling your eyes off of him, the heaviest exhale passed through your lips and you turned around, wanting this night to end. After you waved your hand in the air you muttered something about how he could see himself out.

But he didn’t go anywhere.

And because he didn’t go anywhere and because you were drunk, you easily thought of more to say.

“You didn’t even like McLaren,” you sighed as you turned back around to face him, leaning against the wall. Your head was spinning. Maybe if you were lucky, this conversation wasn’t actually happening and it was a drunk figment of your imagination.

“No, but I loved you.”

You definitely didn’t imagine him saying that.

“I loved you,” he repeated, the past-tense admittance felt like a stab to your chest. “And I wanted nothing more than to race alongside you without feeling the need to prove something, to be your partner off the grid. I wanted to love you and race at the same time and you ruined that.”

All you could do was shrug your shoulders. You had said everything you needed to say at this point in defence of your contract, “I’m a driver, Dan. The race, the seat, it comes first, everything else second. You of all people know that.”

“We could have had both.”

Both. Love and a spot in Formula 1.

Clearly not.

“Could we have?” You asked, unsure if you even had an answer, but you needed him to really think about it. To think about it if that really was a possibility for the two of you.

Daniel and you held each other's stares for a minute, waiting for the other to say something. You were still waiting, hoping, for him to say he was proud of you, that he still loved you, that it didn’t matter what happened in the past, but it did matter. Daniel was still waiting for a sincere apology, but you had nothing to apologise for. Signing that McLaren contract was the best thing you’d ever done for yourself, despite the strings to Daniel you had now found yourself tangled in, McLaren was where you were supposed to be.

“I’m tired, Dan,” you shook your head and glanced towards your room down the hall. Physically, mentally, you were drained. And you weren’t ready for what was to happen tomorrow when his contract news came to light.

It didn’t even feel like you had gotten a podium a few hours ago. The last thing you wanted to do was celebrate. You just wanted to crawl into bed and forget that Daniel had followed you here.

He didn’t stop you as you walked down the hall. He waited for you to look at him, but again, you were past that. What was a second look going to do at this point? You wiped your makeup off as best as you could and slid under the covers of your bed, quickly falling into a dreamless sleep.

And sure enough, the news dropped of his contract, of his new seat, and it wasn’t long before people started comparing it to what you had done the year prior.

The first thing you saw when you woke up that morning, aside from the glass of water that Daniel had put next to your bed, was the news alert on your phone stating that Daniel was to replace Checo for 2024.

The second article you read was about you. Speculating how you would feel about Daniel’s permanent return. The article highlighted the moments of your relationship, starting from the day he signed on to be your mentor to the time in the AlphaTauri garage when you were fighting over the qualifying lap he ruined.

And then there was a photo of you climbing into the car from last night, followed by Daniel getting into the car shortly after.

His name was trending. Your name was trending. Half the people online cared about his return to RBR. The other half wanted to know if you two were getting back together.

No one gave a single shit that you made history yesterday, landing that podium.

You were the first female to score a podium position in Formula 1 and all anyone cared about was your connection to Daniel. Just like when you won the Monaco Grand Prix during F2, all anyone cared about was Daniel’s influence in your racing. When you were signed to McLaren, all anyone cared about was how you were replacing Daniel.

Daniel. Daniel. Daniel.

People didn’t care about your accomplishments. They only wanted to find a way to connect them all to Daniel.

You scrolled through the article and a new one was suggested for you at the bottom of it. Why Y/N Y/L/N Owes Her Career to The Honey Badger.

Instead of reading it, you threw your phone with as much strength as you had down the hall, out of your sight. You heard it hit the floor and slide across the hardwood.

You couldn’t remember the last time you read something positive about yourself without a hint of Daniel’s influence.

This wouldn’t have been as hard of a pill to swallow if he was still in your life the way you wanted him to be. If he really was still at your side, supporting you, cheering you on, you could look past the articles and speculations about how he was the only reason you were in the sport. It wouldn’t matter what people were saying if Daniel was in your ear reminding you of your potential, reminding you that you deserved that F1 seat.

But he wasn’t going to do that, not anymore. What you had was gone and you were left with the bitter memories and an unforgiving path you had to walk alone to prove yourself in this field.

You wanted to prove you didn’t need Daniel, but the entire world was making it their mission to remind you that at one point, you did. Maybe you still did, maybe you didn’t know who you were without him because let’s face it, everything you did on the track still revolved around him.

You cared about where he finished. You went out of your way to outscore him and only him. You didn’t do anything to relieve the tension in the paddock. You were very much playing into the narrative that he was still a key player in your life.

How could the world move on if you hadn’t?

Hearing footsteps make their way towards you, you sat up in bed, already knowing it was Daniel who didn’t leave when he should have.

You weren’t concerned about your appearance, he had seen you in a much worse state. He had better mornings as well, still wearing his clothes from last night, the bags under his eyes gave away the fact that he was about as tired as you were.

He had your phone in his hands, but he didn’t spend much time looking at the article on the screen. Instead, he dropped it to the table next to him and leaned against the doorframe, exhaling a heavy breath.

You didn’t move, content with the distance between you now because you had to be. Despite wanting nothing more than to be with him, you couldn’t have that anymore. Everything had to be at a distance.

Your phone chimed. Once, twice, and then about four more times. You knew it was people telling you about Daniel’s contract, not knowing that you had been given the inside scoop last night.

At one point, you loved being connected to Daniel. Now, it was a burden. It was haunting. Each time someone mentioned him to you, sent you something about him, asked you a question about him, you were reminded that the connection was gone.

Your lips parted and you had to take a quick, self-assuring breath before finally saying what had to be said.

“I don’t want to do this anymore.”

“Do what?”

Your entire body trembled as you spoke, “You know what, Daniel.”

Of course he did. He was as tired as you were. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this and yet here you were, staring at each other knowing that you were both too far gone to ever find your way back.

You thought, maybe, possibly, you could work things out. For a brief moment, when you knew he was proud of you, you thought you saw a silver lining amongst the grey skies. And maybe you did, maybe it was there, but it was way beyond your grasp. You couldn’t reach out and grab it, you could only dream of it.

There was one solution. One that broke you, knowing you were stuck with it. You didn’t want to admit it. You wished you could push it down and keep living the way you had but you just couldn’t do it anymore.

You were tired. This was hopeless. You both needed closure, but he wasn’t going to say anything which meant you had to.

“I’m stuck, Daniel. I’m stuck living in the moments between the day we met and the day I left because those are the moments that meant the most to me and I haven't been ready to let them go. I’ve never wanted to move on but you forced me to. You forced me to become the bad guy, to do this without you, to grow without you, to prove that I don’t need you but I do need you, I’ve always needed you. From day one, I needed you. My first time in the F1 car, I needed you. If I crashed out, I needed you. I always needed you, Daniel, and then after a five minute conversation you decided that I didn’t anymore. You made that decision for me, for us.”

You paused, you took a breath, you weren’t done. Despite being so painfully close to breaking down, you weren’t done.

“And now here I am, finally succeeding, finally making history in this sport, but it doesn’t mean anything because no one cares unless they find a way to connect it to you. I will always be in the shadow of the man I love and for this entire season, I’ve let it happen because it was the only way you’d still be in my life.”

Daniel cleared his throat when he heard that four letter word, standing up a little straighter, “You still love me?”

You glanced down at the duvet wrapped around your hips. It was heavy, suffocating, much like this conversation. “Truthfully, Daniel, I can’t imagine the day I stop.”

Daniel didn’t need to say anything for you to know he no longer felt the same. He had stopped loving you the day you signed the contract with McLaren. He may have been proud of your achievements, he may have appeared to have extended a short olive branch, one that gave you false hope, but he didn’t love you.

Because it always came back to that one question. How could he love you- how could he be in your corner when you had pushed him out of his own? You may not have been the one to initiate his leave, but you gave him that final shove.

That was a move you had to live with.

“I love you,” you repeated, your eyes then trailing towards your phone where that stupid article was still displayed on the screen. “I always will, but I can’t be tied to you anymore. I can’t do this anymore.”

Even though Daniel was the one that had broken up with you all those months ago, this hurt more. Hearing you finally cut ties, knowing you didn’t want to be done but had to be, broke him. There was no salvaging this.

“I think-” your voice cracked as you spoke, but for the sake of this conversation you did your damn best to hold it together. “I think we need to be done.”

We are done, Daniel wanted to say, but he knew there was more to your words.

Watching your bottom lip quiver made him want to pull you into his arms one last time. He wanted to apologise and hold you close before the tears could fall.

“No more comments to the media,” you stated firmly. Daniel nodded.

You were stronger than him, maybe you always were. Daniel could barely get a word out and here you were, laying down what had to happen moving forward.

“No more interactions,” you then said, raising your hand to your arm, a soothing gesture or maybe an anxious one, he couldn’t tell. “No more- no more following me out of clubs for people to see. No more giving anyone a reason to connect us. I don’t want you in my life as anything more than another driver on the grid. You’re not my teammate. You’re not my partner. You’re not in my corner. I don’t want to worry about what you think about me anymore. I don’t want to worry about where you finish and I don’t want you to care about where I’m at. I want you to focus on driving just like I want to focus on driving. That’s it. That’s who we are. We’re drivers, Daniel. That’s all we’ve ever been. Strip back every layer of us and racing remains. That’s how it should be. We’ve-” you sucked in a breath, your words getting caught in your throat for a second. “We’ve always known that, I think. That at the end of it all, we’re drivers first. We were foolish to think we could be anything more.”

You couldn’t have both. You couldn’t be in love while on the grid together.

You were only ever drivers. That’s why you signed the McLaren contract. That’s why Daniel didn’t think twice before replacing Nyck and now Checo. You both put your careers first. It wasn’t selfish, it was in your blood, and you couldn’t hold it against each other anymore.

And you couldn’t hold onto it either.

As much as you liked to think there would come a day where you would still be in love, both of you on the grid, you accepted now that it would never happen. It was a dream, one you had to let go of. You had to mend the hole in your chest that he created. You couldn’t let him be that missing piece.

You had to respect Daniel as a driver, much like he had to with you. But that was it. No more conversations. No more subtle comments made about each other or to each other. You needed distance. No more missed looks in the paddock, because surely someone with a camera would catch it. No more watching the screen if the other was showcased. No more petty feuds. No more interactions. No more caring.

You had to cut ties with Daniel. It was the only way you could focus on yourself and your career.

Surely, enough time would pass where an article would be written about you that didn’t mention his name and his assistance in getting you to where you were now. But that wouldn’t happen if you were still holding onto him. You had to let go for the rest of the world to.

Daniel pushed himself away from the wall without saying a word. You watched, tense, as he slowly made his way towards you and sat down next to you on the bed. Knees touching like they were in the car ride last night. As you turned your head and stared up at him, you could make out the details in his face that you used to cherish, that you had memorised so early on in your relationship.

But he had changed. There was a sliver of unfamiliarity in his eyes, a reminder that this wasn’t the Daniel who was in love with you anymore.

You had to look away.

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” you whispered. You kept your hands folded in your lap, worried that if you unclenched your fingers you would reach out for him.

Daniel nodded, agreeing with you. He raised his arm up, tucking it over your shoulders and pulling you against his side. You inhaled a sharp breath at the gesture, knowing this would be the last time you’d feel his touch. He rubbed his hand over your arm, neither of you thinking to say anything else, because there really was nothing left to say.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

You were supposed to be in love.

And maybe, in another world, you would be. If you didn’t make the move to F1, you could still be in love. If you settled with F2, if you moved to a different series, he could still support you and you could still be his biggest fan.

But you were drivers. Career focused, determined, passionate drivers who wanted nothing more than to win. You both craved the honour and prestige of a Formula 1 seat more than anything, more than each other. You’d be lying if you thought otherwise.

You were drivers, so inevitably, it was always going to end like this.

__________________

is this the finale or is there one more chapter for these loveless drivers?

taglist: @torossosebs@whatthefuckerr@jspitwall@oconso@tsarinablogs@landowecanbewc@somanyfandomsbruh@christianpulisic10@storminacloud@sunnytkm23@formula1mount@azxulaa@icarus-nex@spideyspeaches @moonvr @destourtereaux @baw-sixteen @cinderellawithashoe @love4lando @alesainz @blueanfield @itsmeempar @vellicora

for some reason im struggling to add anyone else to the taglist, i deeply apologise. i would recommend turning on post notifs but i know its sometimes annoying, but i rly am struggling with my mentions

#daniel ricciardo x you #daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo #danny ric #dr3 #f1 fics #formula 1 x you #daniel ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo au

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arachine · 2 years ago

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. . . 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 ! ˚₊✩‧₊

— pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

general tags: college! au, established relationship, fluff, suggestive

content warnings: period cramps, reader is a baby, ellie is patient, kissing, allusions to sex, brief mention of dealer!ellie + not proofread and also not my best work bc i was in pain !

note: this is super self-indulgent bc i am, unfortunately, on my monthly, and so, i am making it everyone’s problem >.<

ellie’s annoyed. actually, she’s concerned—maybe, slightly, kind of more than that too, but right now, she’s annoyed. this wasn’t like you—not answering messages, not answering calls.

she’d understand it if you were busy, especially since finals season was steadily approaching as the days passed, but she knew you didn’t have any plans today. that much was confirmed the last time she’d spoken to you, which was, if she could recall (she could recall it perfectly), last night at 8:00 p.m.

future wife 👰‍♀️: gn baby, see you tomorrow for breakfast! get some sleep ok? <33

ellie: alr goodnight baby. i’ll come get you at 9 ok? don’t oversleep this time, wanna get some french toast before all the athletes take it :/

future wife 👰‍♀️: never gonna let me live it down, huh?

ellie: never!

future wife 👰‍♀️: god alr, i won’t oversleep!!! promise :3 now gn fr this time!!! gts!!!

ellie: ok bossy i’m going to sleep 🫡 love you

that was the last message she’d sent to you that night. this morning, however, she made an effort to send you a slew of follow-up texts before making her way over to your dorm:

ellie: good morning sexy, you up?

ellie: it’s french toast time ☝🏻

ellie: don’t tell me you’re sleeping…

there was five minutes sent in-between each message, and yet, still no response. that’s when she got the bright idea to call.

“alright, this should wake her up,” she raised the phone to her ear, pacing around her apartment while waiting for the line to go through. to her dismay, it rung a few times before going straight to voicemail—to which she almost got excited over because you’ve got one of those annoying ass voicemails that sound like someone picked up the line.

“hey […], this is (name). sorry you can’t reach me right now, but leave a message and i’ll get back to you as soon as i c—”

“fucking hell.” ellie pinches the knot between her brows and sighs, ending the call before voicemail you can finish your sentence. again, she calls, thinking this time you’ll answer, but to no avail. it goes right to voicemail.

“the fuck…” she doesn’t even bother leaving a message. beelines right to her closet and grabs her sneaks, a hoodie, and her wallet, then heads out of her apartment building and begins the trek to your dormitory.

when she gets there, she buzzes in with her student keycard, and pads right up to the security desk. just as she’s about to open her mouth, one of the guards sitting interrupts her.

“can i see your proof of residence, please?” he says blankly, raising a fig bar up to his mouth.

“randy, really? you know me, i’m here almost every other day—just without my girlfriend—who i’m actually here to see,” she raises a finger, forearms leaning forward over the desk. randy feigns indifference, and opts to stuff the last of his bar in his mouth.

“you’re not a resident here, ellie. sorry, but you know the rules.”

“how about you shove the rules up your a—actually, that’s alright. my buddy right here will sign me in as a guest.” she grins devilishly at the dark haired man across the lobby, blinking once, twice, before flashing him a smile.

“jesse! my life saver, my best-friend, my messiah, my—“

“what do you want, ellie?” he rolls his eyes, pulling out his student keycard to flash randy. ellie purses her lips as if she’s been found out, then pulls jesse aside by the cloth of his jacket. she leans in real close so that what she says is out of earshot.

“sign me in as a guest and i’ll give you free weed during your next visit,” she bargains, wiggling her brows like she knows the offer is too good to pass up. jesse doesn’t answer her right away. instead, opts to tease her. puts his index finger on his chin, and opens his stance as if he’s really mulling it over. ellie’s not impressed.

a beat, then, he shrugs, mumbling a quick ‘better keep your word williams’.

ellie grins, something real big and cheshire-like, because she knows him. who’d be stupid enough to pass up free weed? exactly, no one. especially not a stressed college student, that’s for sure.

“thanks man, you’re really doing me a solid, you know,” she pats his back, to which he mutters a knowing ‘yeah, yeah, whatever’. she watches intently as he signs her in under his name, then makes a face at randy when she hands over her student keycard for him to keep.

“see ya later rand’!” the auburn haired girl says with the flick of a hand, turning the corner of the desk to get to the elevators.

“yeah, whatever.”

. . .

once the elevator comes to a halt on your floor, ellie gives jesse a final thank you before departing. as she walks down the winding hallway, she can’t help but to think the worst. what if you were unconscious? what if you’d been axe-murdered? what if you’d been kidnapped? all very unlikely, she knows, but not impossible.

when her mind sifts through a few more frightening scenarios, she realizes she’s already made it to your door. should she knock? she feels like she should knock, but then she figures if all her previous attempts to wake you up were unsuccessful, then who’s to say a few measly knocks would do the trick?

she decides against it. instead, she unhooks her carabiner from her jeans and fiddles around with her set of keys until she finds the spare you’d given her. until now, she’d never used it. the day you’d given it to her, you’d told her it was strictly for ‘emergencies’, and what better time to use it than now? this was surely an emergency, right?

the door unlocks and she immediately goes to twist the knob, pushes the door open and then shuts it closed behind her.

“babe, you here?” she calls out, walking through the kitchen, “you alive?” turns down the hall, “you in one piece?”

a beat. silence—save for the heavy padding of her boots as she makes her way towards your bedroom. the door is cracked open, just by a sliver, but she can see—or at least somewhat make out—the beginnings of a sleeping silhouette.

she pushes the door open and ambles to your bedside. you were fast asleep. curled up into a tight little ball with the duvet pulled up to your chin, and a mean little pout on your lips. it was adorable, and it made ellie’s heart twang with relief. at least now that she was able to verify your safety, she could forget all those terrible thoughts that she was getting herself all worked up over.

“hey, sweet girl,” she cooed, brushing the pad of her thumb over your cheek. your brows cinched in response, but you didn’t move. not even an inch. “baby,” ellie drawled in a sing-song voice.

she let her hand fall from your cheek to your back, and she rubbed it in slow, steady circles in an attempt to rouse you. after a while of this—a combination of her rubbing and cooing—you started to react.

“mmm,” you groaned, curling your knees up higher, “it hurts.”

“what hurts? what’s wrong?” opening your eyes, you were able to pair the voice of concern with a familiar face.

“ellie? what are you doing here?”

she lets a small chuckle escape her lips, then raises a hand to rest atop your head.

“what am i doing here? what are you doing here? had me worried sick about you,” she smooths a hand over your head, “missed our breakfast date.”

sighing, you slap a clammy hand over your head, then reach over ellie to grab your phone from the nightstand.

ten messages. three missed calls.

“god, i’m sorry, bellie. took some midol and melatonin last night so that i could beat these cramps, but i guess they worked a little too good, huh?”

“yeah, you nut.” she takes a glance at your nightstand and picks up the bottle of pills, shakes them around before settling them back down. “how many did you take?”

“just two…maybe three?” ellie’s eyes widen in disbelief.

“three? babe, these are 500 mg. why would you do that? the bottle says take two every six hours, and here you are taking more than the recommended amount, on top of taking melatonin,” she chides, though, it’s more out of genuine concern than it is her actually being upset.

you laugh at your own expense, but it’s short-lived because a second later, you’re clutching for your belly and writhing in pain.

ellie sighs, kicks her boots off and fully climbs up onto the bed and under the covers. once she settles into a comfortable position, she pulls you into her side.

“i know, baby, let me take care of you,” she strokes your back soothingly, “but next time, please don’t take that much. were you planning on sleeping forever?”

“maybe.” you jest, snuggling further into her warmth. admittedly, mixing both of those drugs was kind of stupid—maybe really stupid, but in your defense, you were in pain!—and really desperate. when you have cramps this bad, sometimes death sounds like mercy.

“oh, yeah?” the laugh she lets out is a deep rumble, and you can feel the vibrations of it as you lay on her chest. it’s soothing. a remedy that you should’ve utilized sooner, and you would’ve, had you been in the right headspace.

“mhm…” you purr, looking up at her, at her lips. ellie scans your face for pain, then dips down and pilfers a kiss from your lips. it’s slow, and sweet, and ends far too soon for your liking. before she can pull away, you tug her by the collar of her shirt. look up at her with pleading eyes, and fist it tighter between your knuckles.

“more,” you drawl, pulling her back down to meet your lips. she indulges you, because of course she does, and pushes you onto your back.

“thought,” a kiss, “your,” another, “cramps were bothering you?” she queries, breathless as she holds herself up above your sprawled out body. she thumbs with the hem of your shirt, waits expectantly for you to answer.

“they are,” you say, “so why don’t you make ‘em go away?”

and what kind of girlfriend would she be if did otherwise?

#:: — LEXI WRITES !#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x reader fluff #ellie williams fluff #ellie william x you #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams

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silvercloverr5 · 9 months ago

Note

Can I pls request some really fluffy headcanons about married life with lupin pls?❤️‍🩹 maybe with a reader who can’t keep her hands off him (but in a fluffy way, like she just likes to feel him near, so there’s a lot of hand holding, holding onto his arm, hugging/cuddling, etc.) and he doesn’t complain bc he’s a big sweetheart and is exactly the same.

Thank you so much💞💕

Ofc u can my love!!! Sorry it took me a while to get to this, Here u go <3

Married life headcanons ~ R.J.L

Sometimes, after marriage, couples get sick of each other and get less and less affectionate as time goes on. That did NOT happen with you and Remus. I think I’ve said before that Remus is hesitant to cuddle anyone at first, the only people he trusts being Sirius, James and Peter.

I imagine that when Remus began to trust you, it was also the moment he solidified in his mind that he was going to marry you some day. It was after a full moon, his body sore and broken, James was getting a little bit too boisterous, and you snapped at him with a protective tone Remus had never heard you use before. Your hand was on his thigh, and he swore he felt his brain turn into mush. That was when he knew. Sirius was the only one who noticed the changing sparkle in his vacant eyes. He smirked knowingly, watching his best friend’s uncharacteristically wide eyes envision his future with you.

I think after the wedding, you two slept together. It was passionate, and he kept growling “mine..” over and over. Even the wolf in him claimed you as his and his only. The boy was in love. You fell asleep slumped over his chest while he used one hand to hold his book and one to pet your hair. Once he finished reading, he spent 20 minutes or so gazing at your peacefully sleeping form. You looked like an angel; you were an angel in his eyes. Tears glided down the scarred apples of his cheeks, and he didn’t even bother to wipe them away. He vowed to look after you always: you were his now. Always.

He didn’t fail to notice your everyday clinginess. It overwhelmed him at first, not being used to physical affection at all, but soon, he found himself seeking it out. When you sat beside him on the sofa, if you weren’t immediately all over him, he soon learned to shuffle closer to you until you gave in and smothered him. One of your arms was always wrapped around him. Your pinkie was always linked with his. If it wasn’t that, it was your hands. You loved to always be touching him. He swears he falls in love again every time you cuddle up to him to fall asleep.

He really is just a big sap. One night, you agreed to a movie night with the marauders, and couldn’t hold back from nuzzling under Remus’s chin again. He pet your back, unable to hold back his lovesick smirk. “God, can you two tone down the PDA?” Sirius joked with a huge teasing grin. “Wait, no, let me join in.” He said, leaping into the cuddle and nuzzling his head into Remus’s neck on the other side. “Hey! Stop trying to steal my boyfriend, pads!” You cried, swatting at him with a genuine smile. “Hey, hey! Watch the hair, girl!” He yelps, jumping up, laughing. Remus just sits there, grinning and thinking that if he died right now, he’d die happy.

All of the trauma and turmoil he’d endured in his painful lifetime, all of it was worth this sense of safety, happiness and satisfaction that this all gave him. He had his best friends brothers, he had you.

He had you. Remus Lupin was satisfied with the outcome of his life, and with you and Sirius bickering in the background, James laughing, a smile splitting Remus’ beautiful features, he prayed nothing would ever change again.

~~~

(Please don’t copy any of my work or paste it onto other platforms!)

#marauders x reader #marauders #remus lupin x reader #marauders era #remus lupin scenario #remus lupin prompt #remus lupin x you #remus lupin #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin headcanon #moony x reader #Remus Lupin💌*~

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carpbread0 · 1 year ago

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NPC Life is the best

(Genshin Impact x gn reader - sagau)

(Second person)

part.2 —> part 3 —> part 4

———————————————————————

Startled by the alchemist’s sudden appearance you let out a small yelp of surprise.

“Holy god.. you scared the living daylights out of me” you say while putting your hand on your heart to show your sincerity.

“I apologize, traveler. I couldn’t help but be.. captivated, by your appearance. Is it alright if I sketch you?” He says looking at your with a blank expression despite telling you of his interest in your appearance.

“S-sure.. can I at least get your name?” You inquire. Of course you know who he was, he’s Albedo! For gods sake your heart rate spiked the moment you saw him creep up on you. The fake surprise was to make it seem like you didn’t notice him at all. It was better this way.

“My name is Albedo, chief alchemist of the knights of favonius. It’s a pleasure meeting you, and what’s your name traveler?” He gently asks as he pulls out his sketch pad.

“My name is y/n, might i ask how long your sketch will take? I’m kinda in a rush.” You sheepishly smile at him. Of course you’re in a rush. In a rush to get away from him!

“It’ll only take 10 minutes. While my drawing cannot capture your full.. essence, it’s better than forgetting such a unique appearance.” He says smoothly a little proud of himself for managing to stall a little more time with you. Truthfully, he could’ve finish a sketch of you in 3 minutes if he wanted to, but there was something about you that made him want to selfishly keep you to himself.

Blushing a bit from his complements you stay completely still for him to finish his sketch while glancing away from him every now and then to get rid of your flustered expression.

striking a conversation with albedo was surprisingly easy, during the ten minutes he managed to find out what your favorite foods were and what type of flowers you adored. He was quite the smooth talker. Ten times as smooth as his teapot dialogue.

as the ten minutes quickly pass albedo gives the sketch of you the final touches. “I’m finished. Would you like to see the results?” He inquires a little hopeful that you’d be willing to see the fruits of his effort.

“Of course!” You smile at him gleefully. You’ve never gotten a portrait of yourself before so it was a bit thrilling to see how someone drew you, nonetheless the great albedo himself!

Turning his sketch pad he shows a picture like drawing of you, your eyes and smile jarringly similar to the reflection you saw of yourself on the glass pains of little shops you’d walk by.

“It’s lovely. It’s almost like staring in the mirror!” You complement your worries of spending to much time with him out the window as your now distracted by his magnificent sketch.

“I’m glad you think so Y/n.” He gently says, his stomach feeling little flutters here and there from your sweet words. He almost felt.. human in a sense. Something he never thought he’d feel as a creation made of chalk.

“If it ever occurs, maybe once you’re free. We could perhaps go for a meal? You’re quite an interesting person and I’d like to get to know you better.” He says calmly despite his nervousness of being rejected.

“Oh, uh sure. Maybe once I’m free” you repeat to him with a kind smile. Although you know it’s not the best idea to get tangled with albedo especially since he’s a creation of someone from Khaenri'ah you couldn’t help but feel a little guilty if you declined his offer.

“I really must go now Albedo. It was nice getting to meet you.” You say to him with sincerity as you get up from the bench stretching a little from how long you were sitting.

“It was nice meeting you as well, Y/n.” Albedo says and waves as you start to walk down the steps to the town square. Unknown to you, Albedo couldn’t help but feel a little upset of your quick leave as he watches you disappear into the crowd.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

as you began to walk back out into crowds you realize it’s almost 5 pm. You sure took your time walking up to the cathedral.

You usually would eat dinner at this time so your stomach began to grumble a bit. Noticing your stomach’s little cry of hunger you decided to stop by good hunter and get a sweet madam to go. while waiting, you decided to brainstorm where to stay for the night, cause your sure as hell not sleeping in the open where anyone could cut you and see your blood.

mm.. maybe angle’s share? There is an extra room for drunkards willing to pay to stay for the night.. but that would mean you would have to get a drink. Maybe they serve grape juice! It’s been your favorite since you were 5. Yea, maybe staying in angle share’s is a good idea after all!

standing up from your seat, you go up to the counter and pay for your take out. let’s head to the tavern!

————————————————————————

Carp bread- feels way shorter than my usual brain poops but I’m like about to fall asleep and I’m pretty sure the next part I make will be a heft chunk bec of diluc whshhwhwhwhwhwhwh 👍😼

#gender neutral reader #genshin impact #genshin sagau #genshin x reader #yandere albedo x reader #genshin yandere #sagau x reader #mondstadt

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roonyxx · 6 months ago

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Healing Love: Part 3

Summary: You have a normal life as a nurse, and you are content with it. But then a storm called Dean Winchester rolls into it and you get swept away by his charms. But secrets linger and threaten to drown you both.

Pairing: Dean x Witch!nurse!reader

Word count: 2935

Chapter warnings: angst, wounds and medical stuff (i am no professional and have no idea what the real treatments are), smut, fluff.

support me :)

Healing Love Masterlist

My Masterlist

Deviders made by @firefly-graphics, give her some love!

“On three,” you say as you swing his arm over your shoulders, “one, two, three.” You tug him to a sitting position on the edge of the bed.

You tried your best to not hurt him while tugging him up but he hisses anyway.

“Sorry Dean.” You say.

It’s been a week since his accident and you have visited the bunker every day since. He needed a lot of assistance. He can walk but not far and not without support.

Sam has been helping him go to the toilets, he can manage all that himself, which is a good start.

But he still needs to shower. You have been cleaning his wound every day when necessary.

He hasn’t wanted to shower yet… you offered him plenty of times but he always refused, now it’s getting to the point where he has no choice.

“You have to shower today, Dean.” You tell him as you sit next to him on the edge of the bed.

He sighs and wraps an arm around your waist.

“I know.” He says.

You and him have become closer in the last week. You did a lot of calm kissing that more often than not almost evolved to more, but with Dean being in so much pain it is impossible to do more.

You can sense he is sexually frustrated. He certainly is not alone….

Seeing his body every day, touching his freckled skin every day… It’s hard.

But you don’t want to hurt him, so you keep it to calm kissing.

For now.

You know you should keep your distances because he’s a hunter and you’re a witch, but he’s just so irresistible. He’s so kind and charming and perfect and handsome…

“I can’t even stand for five minutes, how will it even work.” He sigh.

You can hear and see he is feeling a little defeated today, which is normal. Dean is a very independent guy who in his everyday life barely asks for help. For him to have to ask for everything, not able to stand up on his own his hard on him.

You can see his struggle. It’s not uncommon in people healing from big injuries like his.

“I already put a chair inside the shower, you can sit and I’ll help you wash.” You tell him softly, your hand stroking his thigh in a comforting manner.

“You will help me wash? I think you just wanna see me naked.” He grins at you.

You chuckle at his flirt, “You’re right, I do wanna see you naked.” You wiggle your eyebrows back at him. “Unless you’re more comfortable with Sam helping you out?”

You do not want him to be uncomfortable, so you give him the option to choose.

“No, no. I don’t want Sam to see me like that.” He says quickly. “And you’re the professional anyways.”

“Okay, yes, true. I wash people all day at work. I really don’t mind.” You smile at him.

“You also wash guys? Like… your age? Handsome guys?” He asks in a somewhat unsure voice.

“I mean, I don’t really take into account if they’re handsome or not, but I’m sure I have washed handsome men before. Why?”

“No, no reason.” He shrugs and you see it in the glint of his eyes.

Is he… jealous?

It makes you smile.

“Are you jealous, Dean?”

“What! No, no I’m not.” He says it with a grunt, making it very unbelievable.

“Oh my god, you totally are jealous!” You say with a big smile.

The smile soon fades when you see him looking at his hands in his lap.

“Dean…” you cup his cheek and wait for his eyes to meet yours, “The only man I want to undress is you. The others is because it is my job.”

His eyes flick over your face, settling on your lips. You smile and lean in to kiss him.

His hand comes up to cup your face while kissing you deeper, moaning into your mouth, his other hand grabs your thigh and squeezes it firmly.

Your eyes roll back in your head at his firm grip, your legs spread almost on instinct.

You feel him smile against your lips as his hand moves higher to rest at the apex of your thigh.

You are so happy you put on leggings this morning, the thin fabric allowing you to feel his hand cupping your core. You groan loudly and roll your hips in his hand.

“D-Dean.” You moan against his lips.

His fingers press harder into you, his kiss turning sloppy.

“You drive me crazy, Y/n.” He groans against your lips while rubbing your core through your pants.

Your panties and pants are growing slick with arousal from his touch, it urges you on to roll harder against his hand.

“Y-yes Dean o-oh my god-“ You throw your head back as he finds your clit through the thin layers of fabric, his fingers pressing into that tight bundle of nerves, making you gasp loudly.

“Yes sweetheart just like that-“ His sentence ends on a sharp hiss and it is like a bucket of ice poured over your head.

You look at him and sees he tried to turn more towards you and it probably tugged on his wound. His hand is holding his tummy firmly.

You curse yourself for getting lost in lust and gently take his hand away to check his injury. There are red spots on the bandage, you start to take it off and see the damage.

“Shit… you ripped a few stitches.” You sigh, this is why only calm kissing is allowed.

You grab everything you need and sit on your knees on the floor between his legs, threading your needle.

“It will take just a second.” You look up at him.

His eyes are nearly black with lust, his pupils blown wide. The very obvious bulge in his sweats is also very noticeable and it makes you clench your thighs.

You were so close to coming….

“Sorry.” He mutters, a blush creeping over his face, clearly he feels embarrassed that he’s hard for you.

“Don’t worry about it.” You say and start restitching. A soft smile on your face, you already know a way to help him out with his frustrations.

You finish your stitching, his cock no longer hard because he flinched every time the needle pierced his skin.

“Let’s get you in the shower, okay?” You come next to him and put his arm over your shoulders.

“Yes.” He answers and with another short countdown you two stand up.

You support most of his weight as you walk to the bathroom, when entering the chair is where you left it in the shower. As carefully as you can you lower him in the chair.

“There, all comfy?” You ask.

He nods.

You smile at him and come closer.

“I want you naked, Dean.” You smile even wider.

“This wasn’t how I imaged to be naked with you.” He mutters.

He’s feeling embarrassed.

But you have a solution for that.

“Maybe not but still,” you grab the edge of your shirt and take it off over your head, leaving your black lacy bra on, for now. “we can have fun.” You smile.

You think his eyes might fall out of his head with how wide they are.

“Y-you, why are you undressing? Not that I am complaining.” A little of that cocky grin is coming back on his face.

“Because I don’t want my clothes to get wet, and well, I could use a shower too.” You dip your thumbs into your waistband and shimmy your leggings down your legs, throwing the item behind you.

“Oh-oh wow.” He breathes as he takes in your matching black lace panties, his eyes are roaming over every inch and the bulge in his pants is slowly growing again.

It makes you clench your thighs.

“Can I undress you now?” You ask, coming to stand between his legs.

He nods and you tug off his shirt. You saw his torso many times these last days but every inch of skin revealed to you is exciting.

You bend down, making sure your boobs are at eye level as you grab his waist band, you lean in and kiss his neck.

“Lift your hips for me, Dean.” You whisper against his skin.

He does as you say and you take off his underwear and pants, a slight slap filling the shower when his cock springs free and hits his tummy.

You toss his pants away and look at all of him, all his naked glory.

Fuck… his cock is so hard, and red and leaking precum. His hand moves to grab himself by the base and squeezes, making another drop of precum roll down his tip.

You nearly whimper at the sight.

You stand between his legs, turning around so your back is towards him. Taking the edge of your panties you bend down and take them off, giving Dean a full view of your glistening, soaked pussy.

You’re rewarded with a deep groan behind you and a muttered 'fuck'.

You turn back to face him and take off your bra, slinging it away.

He licks his lips as he takes all of you in.

You lean over him, effectively putting your boobs in his face as you turn on the shower, immediate hot water cascading down over you two.

His lips attack your nipples, kissing and sucking on them. A moan falling from your lips.

His hands wrap around your thighs, grabbing them eagerly.

You grab his soaps and take a little step back, his lips try to chase your boobies but you push him back by the shoulder.

His chest is heaving with every breath, taking the soap in your hands you start to lather them up and begin washing his skin.

You’re thorough in what you do, his neck, his broad shoulders, his pecks, back and sides, then very carefully around his wound and checking that the water resistant bandage is still intact.

Then you wash his feet, his calves, his thighs.

His balls. Looking up through your wet lashes you watch his face as you firmly massage his balls.

“Y-Y/n.” he whimpers, his legs spreading wider.

You sit down on your knees between his spread legs and grab the base of his cock. Looking in his eyes you bend and lick the tip of his cock, your tongue dipping in that oh so sensitive slit.

“Fff-fuck.” He groans and his hands tighten on the arm rests of the chair.

You smile wickledly and lick up under his shaft, from base to tip to then take as much as you can of him in your mouth.

His tip brushes the back of your throat and you gag around him, making him moan harder. The part of him that doesn’t fit in your mouth you grab in your hand.

Your other hand still firmly massaging his balls. You start sucking him deeply, bobbing your head up and down.

“F-fuck Y/n yes, yes yes yes, j-just like that.” He pants, one of his hands slips in your hair and fists it tightly.

You moan loudly around him.

“I-Im gonna come.” He says and tries to tug you off of him. But you want his cum in your mouth, you need it to be inside, to swallow it.

“Y/n o-oh” he moans when he sees you want it, “fuck i- I’m-“

His balls tighten in yourhand and his cock starts to twitch in your mouth as he comes hard, his cum hitting the back of your throat and making you cough. You make sure to swallow it all down, your tongue rubbing the under side of his cock in your mouth to prolong his orgasm as much as possible.

“Y/N FUCK GRAH!” he screams loudly while filling you, his hand fisting your hair so hard it makes your eyes water.

You let go of his balls and push slightly on his thigh, the need for oxygen becoming urgent.

He lets your hair go and you sit up, taking in a big breath, coughing on the few drops of cum still coating your throat.

You take his half limp cock and lick him completely clean, then wash him gently with some soap.

“Y-you’re- you’re so fucking good.” He pants.

You smile and pass your soapy hands over his sensitive tip, enjoying the whimper you drag from him.

You stand up between his legs and begin washing yourself.

Dean is content watching you spread the foam all over your body, his hand coming up to rub at spots you clearly didn’t forget, but you let him.

Then you grab his shampoo and start massaging the soap into his scalp, his eyes fluttering with the sensation.

“Fuck this is so good.” He groan.

You’re so focused on washing his soft hair that you jump when you feel his fingers brushing your slick folds.

“Can I touch you?” he asks, while looking into your eyes with so much want you don’t have it in you to deny him.

“Yes Dean, but be careful, okay?”

He nods and his eyes dart down to look at your pussy, wet and swollen with desire for him.

You keep washing his hair, even when his deft fingers find your clit and start expertly rubbing it in tight circles.

“Y-yes.” You moan.

He turns his hand palm up and enters his middle and ring finger deep inside you. Your legs start trembling at how well his fingers fill you.

He crooks them so they rub perfectly against that sweet spot deep inside you while simultaneously rubbing his palm against your clit.

“F-fuck Dean- y-yes, don’t stop.” You moan and fist his hair, keeping his head away from you because you can sense he wants to kiss your body but that’s a movement that is no longer calm.

“You’re so fucking soaked for me sweetheart. Listen.” He starts to roughly vibrate his hand, filling the shower with the sound of your soaked pussy.

You moan loudly and clench his fingers so hard inside you that he mutters a curse. Your thighs start trembling, the days of edging on finally coming to their conclusion.

“Dean Dean Dean Dean Dean DEAN.” You chant on repeat as you near that edge, following his rhythm and focusing on his finger you feel yourself comping apart at the edges.

“DEAN YES!” You scream as you fall apart around his fingers, your legs tremble violently, and your thighs clench his hand in place as you come so hard around him.

You use the back of the chair as a support to lean on, you’re panting so hard and lean down to kiss him sloppily.

“O-oh my god, Dean…” You say as you unclench his hand and let it go from the prison of your thighs.

He smiles proudly and looks in your eyes.

“You’re so beautiful when you come.” He says and kisses you again.

You moan in his mouth but turns to a loud gasp as the water of the shower suddenly turns cold. You hurry to turn it off.

“Fuck.” You laugh, now definitely cooled down. Luckily Dean is laughing too, and no ripped stitches this time.

“Let’s get dry and warmed up.” You smile and help Dean get back into his room where you both cuddle in his bed and eventually fall asleep.

You get awoken by your ringtone going of in the middle of the night. Quinn jumps up and off your bed as he too got roughly awoken by it.

“Shit” you grunt and pick up, “yeah?”

“Y/n? You need to come, it’s Dean, he-he’s not waking up, there’s a lot of blood please- I-“ a sob breaks Sam’s sentence and you’re already flying to grab your keys of your car.

“Keep pressure, I’m coming.”

You stay on the phone with Sam in the car and ask him the routine questions, trying to be calm yourself, it doesn’t look good for Dean…

You reach the bunker and run inside straight to his room.

Looking inside freezes you.

There is too much blood, he's so pale…

“Move!” you scream and push Sam, not ignoring the strong call of your magic you throw the gates inside you open and let it fill your veins.

You hear Sam gasp as your entire body lights up golden and your hair starts floating around you.

It takes all your focus to redirect the mass of magic towards Dean, it feels like guiding an ocean where to go.

But you manage and with all your strength you pour the magic inside Dean. Your arms start to tremble from the strain, but you need to keep going because- because-

His heart is not beating…

You push more magic into him, sweat dripping down your face and your feet leave the ground as you start floating.

All the blood that soaked into his mattress is retracting back into his body, it is like someone pushed the reverse button and all the damage to his body is reversing.

His blood returns to his veins, his cells regenerate themselves, his organs begin working again, his body temperature rises.

And his heart starts beating again.

Dean sits up with a big, sharp inhale and looks at you.

You turn to see his open eyes, his face back with color.

And you see his face filled with shock as he takes you in, glowing and floating next to his bed.

You shut the gates deep inside you shut and cut off the magic, the light inside you shuts of like a lamp and you drop to your knees, completely exhausted.

“Dean!” Sam runs to his brother and hugs him so tight, his shoulders shaking with held back sobs.

But Dean’s eyes don’t leave yours. He’s staring at you in shock and something else…

Betrayal.

“What are you.”

Forever Tags 2024: @jay-and-dean @flamencodiva @snowlovespie @awkward-and-indecisive @hobby27 @kazsrm67 @foxyjwls007

Dean tags 2024: @akshi8278 @pink-sparkly-witch @verytoadpapersoul @eevvvaa @muhahaha303 @alwaystiredandconfused @deansimpalababy @globetrotter28 @aylacavebear

Healing Love tags: @deans-spinster-witch @kr804573 @suckitands33 @bitchykittenconnoisseur @brightlilith @snowayumi @ailalovegood

send me an ask if you want to be on any of my tag lists! (or if you want to be removed)

#roonyx #healing love #healing love part 3 #spn fanfic #supernatural dean #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester #dean x reader #dean x nurse!reader #witch!reader #smut #spn smut #dean smut

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etherfabric · 6 months ago

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How to Foster Peace + Lyrics

Choose a pile by which picture you resonate with the most.

If your mind is too busy to clearly decide, take a few deep breaths, and use the finger of your non-dominant hand to hover over the images. One will give off the most subtle yet prominent signals, like tingles, a magnetic pull, or temperature. This is your pile. Multiples are also possible.

You are the ultimate authority over your life. I merely provide my perspective. Sometimes the Universe lines you up with something that doesn't resonate with your truth, so you have contrast to find out what does. Never give away your power.

Pile 1

3 of Wands, 10 of Wands

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You have to broaden your perspective on what help can look like. You are clinging to superficial indicators that not everyone can authentically hold, and remain overwhelmed by your burdens because of it. You might have a favorite outcome and are so hyperfocused on it that you don't even consider a lot of second best opportunities. Those could relieve you bit by bit instead of one big miracle. Stop seeing certain things as "beneath you", swallow your pride and admit to your very normal human need of support in general. Let the helpers have a little more say in what that might look like and don't argue against every minute detail. They probably offer what they can give best, and you don't know the effect this can have on you until you fully let it in and be the receiver for once.

Lyrics: "Rockland County" by Regina Spektor

Condescending down the stairs I'm condescending down the stairs I look out for a moment Condescending down the stairs I'm condescending down the stairs I look down at the bottles

I just know I got something coming If I got anything coming at all I just know I got something coming If I got anything coming at all

Pile 2

9 of Wands, 5 of Pentacles

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You need to find an outlet for your frustrations to foster more peace in your life. To you, that seems like a contradiction; give in to the aggressive voice inside my head for peace? Well, it depends on how you go about it. To not hurt anyone in this cathartic process, choose a time of privacy and maybe an object to express yourself with. Punch a pile of laundry, rip old newspaper to shreds, cry into a pillow, write the word "fuck" 500 times in your journal, let yourself have violent daydreams, scream at God herself - the possibilities are endless. But you have to face this side of you. The steam is buildung up pressure in the container that is you, and believe me, you want to let it out on your own terms. Otherwise you risk something outside of your influence pushing you over the edge in an inappropriate setting. This could harm you and others way more than it has to. Surpression is a short term coping mechanism, and you have reached the limit.

Lyrics: "A Cannon" by Regina Spektor

I write you a letter, I hope you feel better I hope you forgive the transgressions I've given you love and I've given you anger as well And I meant them both

Somebody's got to tell all the people to be like the water Somebody's got to tell all the people to be like the water

I would if I could, but I can't, so I don't My heart breaks too easy, my words get all jumbled And when I wear lipstick Then no one understands me at all...

Pile 3

5 of Pentacles, Ace of Pentacles

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You have some serious intergration to do. I feel you going "Another thing?? I am already doing so much! I can't do any more!" No, but that's the thing. You are doing so much to get away from the "bad" feelings that need integration. The pain, the sadness, the grief, the despair, the hopelessness. The goal isn't to build a life without any of these things. The goal is to grasp opportunities for authentic self expression whenever they arise, observe what blockages still hold you back, and explore how they came about. The goal is to become whole again; to incorporate those aspects of yourself you weren't safe to express before.

Every human has the capacity for darkness and a need to be authentic in that regard. The question is whether we accept and embrace it in our conscious approaches, or wear ourselves down fighting ourselves. As soon as you let yourself fall apart and let nature take its course, you will see you didn't need to hold it together that tightly anyway. It will feel like being stuck forever in this pit, but just for a couple of moments. Sooner or later, everything fades. What goes down, must come up again.

The next time you feel the darkness creeping up, walk intentionally towards it instead of running in the other direction. You will survive, I promise. This darkness holds a truth about your past that wants to be heard and felt like it deserves.

Lyrics: "Just Like The Movies" by Regina Spektor

You are mistaken cause I do not bite Over the Williamsburg bridge on a bike And if he loves me then why does he leave? And if he loves me then why does he lea— Lea-ee-ee-ooh-dee-no Aah-de-da-de-da-aaaah Don't say goodbye like you're burying him Cause the world is round and he might return Don't say goodbye like you're burying him Cause the world is round and he might re—

Pile 4

The Moon, 9 of Swords

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I see a crisis of faith in one or all aspects of your life. Doubts are creeping up, and they feel awfully truthful. The places where you used to turn to for confirmation are suddenly empty and lifeless, and you feel abandoned by a higher power.

If God doesn't send you signs, selfmade is fine. Become your own God for a moment. How can you give yourself a little faith back again? Maybe it's affirmations written on your mirror, or a ritual you designed yourself whenever you need that extra reassurance. Maybe it's that one friend who sometimes can be annoying with their constant positivity; now might be a time where you can benefit from their perspective.

Whatever it is, practice believing something intentionally. It will feel a little icky at first, like a conscious self-gaslight. Just remind yourself that this isn't a lie, you are reintroducing the truth to a part of yourself that has no emotional access to all the small and big miracles you already experienced. Let them see it with their own eyes. Start from the beginning. Make an event out of it. Like a second spring in your spirituality. This part probably saw you thriving in your faith, and now feels comfortable revealing itself to hopefully join the party.

Lyrics: "December" by Regina Spektor

We are not evacuating this house, We don't believe in you and your wrecking crew. We are not evacuating this house, We don't believe in you and your wrecking crew. We don't believe in you and your wrecking crew We don't believe in you We don't believe in you, We don't believe in you We don't believe in you, We don't believe in you... We don't believe in you

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Hopefully this was of some use to you. I love getting feedback on my readings, so don't hesitate to leave a comment if you feel called to do that.

#tarot reading #pick a card

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littlegaybean1 · 12 days ago

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Another Life is actually driving me insane.

It's been FOUR DAYS since I watched it and every time I think about it (so like, every half an hour) I think of more things that make it such an incredible episode!!!

Firstly it's Buck in a coma. Obviously I'm going to love it. He's almost dead! He was dead, for three minutes and seventeen seconds at least. Therefore, naturally, this episode automatically became one of my favourites.

Then there's the tiny morsels of Buddie content. It's not prevalent here, which I actually like because it focuses on another relationship that I've also been waiting for for so long. However, in his approximately two minutes of screen time, Eddie does manage to give me just enough content for my ship obsessed mind to work with. I mean, come on. Responding with "Do more!" to "we'll do our best" is absolutely going to make me go slightly feral. He has about four lines and that's one of them. It could easily have been any of them, especially Bobby considering where the episode goes, but it was Eddie. No notes, chef's kiss.

Also the section with Christopher? MY HEART. He's already lost so much for someone so young, and Buck is basically family at this point. I'm also reminded of some parallels between Buck and Chris. They are very similar, but you don't really see it all that often. But if you compare young Buck to Christopher, you start to see quite a few connections. They're both unfailingly positive, but Buck's is more of a façade. They also have matching abandonment issues! In an earlier episode that I cannot recall the name of, Chris starts having nightmares and talks about how everyone leaves. Then, in this episode, Christopher is desperate to talk to Buck, to the point where they (probably illegally) sneak him into the room. And the thing that he is so desperate to say is "You have to come back". HELLO!? Did any of the writers ONCE consider that I am entitled to MONETARY COMPENSATION for all the EMOTIONAL PAIN they caused me. Ow!

I love mental construct Chimney and Hen. They're so chill with it, just like "I guess this is happening" and get on with it. They just accepted it, which honestly I think is somewhat accurate. They're definitely the most relaxed characters (with near death experiences of their loved ones notwithstanding).

Mental construct Bobby is the funniest thing, whilst also being somewhat emotionally devastating. He's off the rails. He's dead. He's a ghost. He's giving the deepest life advice ever. Buck's mind is honestly so weird and I love him for it.

Then there's the bit I hated (it was really clever and so good). Doug.

Oh my god. The reaction I had to seeing that evil creature. Honestly well done to the writers and the actor for making me immediately hate him so much after not seeing him for like four seasons. It was actually horrifying, the implications that if Daniel had lived, if their family had stayed together, Maddie would have had nowhere to run to. It's almost bittersweet, knowing that in another life the Buckley parents were caring and attentive, but with it came something so awful. I hope Doug Kendall is rotting in hell <3

And here's something I only noticed about a day after watching: the biggest negative impacts were on the people that Buck loves the most. Because this was all in his mind, designed to trap him there. Something that has been established is that Buck is, as I think Bobby(?) said, "the guy who wants to fix things". Buck could never be content somewhere that he was idle. In this life he isn't a firefighter, so he needs problems to occupy him. Therefore, the four people that he loves most are the ones that have the biggest problems.

First - Maddie.

Buck and Maddie's relationship is shown throughout the seasons, especially in Buck Begins and the build up to that. They have always been incredibly close, because they didn't have anyone else to rely on. So in the tempting, coma world, Maddie is still with Doug. She never escaped from her abusive marriage, and in this one she even has a child to add to the situation. Buck's first instinct as to what to do to get out of here is to find something to fix. The first thing he thinks of is Maddie and Doug.

Second - Eddie and Christopher.

Even though neither of them have actually said it yet (which is criminal) Buck and Eddie are very obviously best friends. Their relationship is incredibly strong, as is Buck's relationship with Christopher. He's almost like Buck's own child, or at least a nephew. I think most people can also see romantic chemistry between Buck and Eddie. Therefore, it makes a lot of sense to have something go terribly wrong in the coma world. A large part of Eddie's character is his love for Christopher, and how he's trying so hard to be the best father he can be whilst balancing his dangerous job and the problems that he inherited from his parents and his broken marriage. So in this mental world, they have been separated. Buck needs to fix Eddie and Christopher, because Eddie cannot be the Eddie that Buck loves without Chris, and Christopher cannot be the kid Buck loves without his father.

Third - Bobby.

Oh my gosh. Even though I knew that it was only in Buck's mind, it still hurt so much. Bobby died without Buck there. He died!!! Without Buck there to take care of, annoy him and generally love him and be loved by him, Bobby never built the bonds he did with the 118. You can see right from the start the very paternal relationship that Bobby has with Buck, which this episode only confirms. I wouldn't say that Buck lost his parents, because you can't really lose what you never had. He never had parents (I am ignoring their redemption arc because I disagree with it. Sue me.). Bobby lost his children, but he never stopped being a father. He became someone's father again with May and Harry, but before that he became Buck's father. It makes so much sense for him to die. Because in the coma world, Buck has parents. Parents who have always loved and cared for him. So in this reality, Buck would never have needed another father. Buck can still remember his relationship with Bobby, and would never be able to replicate it in the coma world. It would be a push factor, something taunting him - there's a man out there, whom you love like a parent, who never even knew you. So Bobby dies. He's nothing but a ghost, nothing physical that can drive Buck out of this paradise reality.

Philip and Margaret Buckley. WHEN I CATCH YOU PHILIP AND MARGARET BUCKLEY.

Buck considered staying. He considered staying in the coma world, knowing that he would die. He stayed for the chance of having loving parents. All Buck ever wanted was to be part of a family that loved him. In 'reality', the 118 became this family, because his biological family was too broken to count as such. But in the coma, it isn't. His parents are loving and free with their affection, he doesn't have to nearly get himself killed for it. He has the older brother that he never knew, and still has the strong bond with his sister.

And then, we finally got it. There are two things that I have been waiting so long for. One has, unfortunately, still not occurred. But finally, in this episode, they gave us the other!!!

He admitted it!

He confirmed it!

There's no taking it back now!

I am proud to be able to say, with full canon support, that Robert Wade Nash is the adoring father of Evan Buck Buckley.

I'VE WANTED THIS FOR SO LONGGGGG

It's been so obvious from the first goddamn episode. I thank you May Grant for finally getting Bobby to admit that Buck is his son. The familial dynamics in the show might be my favourites, with the entire main cast feeling like a family. However, the most obvious of these has always been Bobby and Buck's father-son relationship. It's beautiful really, how close they are and how Bobby is finally able to admit to everyone, including himself, how deep their relationship is.

There's so much more that I could say, but this has already been so long so I'm going to try and wrap it up with one last thing. My rambles always seem to get away from me lol.

I absolutely loved the conclusion. It being the construct of Bobby to tell Buck how to get out is consistent with the focus of the episode, and shows the regard that Buck has for Bobby. Even in a prison constructed by his own mind to hold him there, Buck still has Bobby to rely on. It's one of the most heartwarming moments in the episode.

And then there's the confrontation or, as I mentally called it, the final boss fight. Daniel. The price of leaving is the loss of his brother, because Daniel only lives in the minds of his family. But that's not who the true enemy is. The enemy was just using his image, a mask to hide behind. I cannot honestly say I was surprised when he was revealed, but it was such a powerful moment when Daniel turned into Buck. Because everything happening inside the coma is Buck. It's all in his mind; the pain, the torment, the loathing. Buck's worst enemy, time and time again, is himself. His self worth issues, his abandonment issues, his self doubt. The final enemy to overcome is the voice in the back of his head, given form and prominence in his comatose state. And it almost wins. But there, on the other side, is everyone who actually loves Buck. The real love, not the kind that his mind imagined. Bobby with his rosary, Christopher sneaking in, Maddie and Chimney, Eddie, Hen, even his parents. They're all there because they love him. Because nobody, nobody at all, can defeat the voice in their mind without help.

Also Buck pulling an axe from absolutely nowhere was just peak escaping. Like yes, go get out of this coma by smashing a window with an axe that you just have because you're a firefighter. You get An Axe.

#911 #911 show #buck 911 #evan buckley #another life #bobby nash #eddie diaz #christopher diaz #chimney han #maddie buckley #hen wilson #so much angst #so much pain #it's great #we love to see it #buddie

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toorusluvr · 5 months ago

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❥ ҉ CHAPTER SEVEN - BACK IN THE GROOVE

❥ ҉ CONTENT WARNINGS: mentions of reader having anxiety in earlier paragraphs + smut in chapter + penetration sex + p in v + protected sex

❥ ҉ NOTE FROM NIS: hello it's me again omg it's been so long since the last update i truly apologise for the late updates! i'm trying my best to finally finish this series! anyway, enjoy chapter 7! i felt like i have forgotten how to write good lord please bear with me.... as usual, reblogs, likes, and comments are very very much appreciated! <3

[previous][series masterlist][next]

After you have been discharged from the hospital, nothing has really changed. Everything feels numb, and you can’t feel any emotions at all. Literally. It always feels like life is on loop. You go to school, eat, cry yourself to sleep, and repeat. Your eyes are begging you to stop crying but you just… couldn’t .

Iwaizumi witnessed you being trapped in your soulless body. Sometimes you just spaced out with no expressions at all. It’s heartbreaking to see you this way because it reminds him so much of himself, which is why he doesn’t want you to be this way for any longer. Breakups happen every time but the post-breakup? It’s like your entire soul is being tortured. He does not know how he can console you because he himself was struggling for a long time until he realized that his life didn’t end when his relationship was over.

Sure, some people would say high school relationships don’t matter but to him, it was the first time he discovered that he is indeed capable of loving someone. But the grief of losing them afterwards… Iwaizumi was almost sure he didn’t want to fall in love again if it hurt this bad.

Iwaizumi would say he has moved on from his ex-girlfriend. To be saying he didn’t feel any ounce of hurt after finding out that Semi cheated on you with his ex, that would be a big slap to the face. Fuck it, he was deeply offended and hurt at the same time. If anything, he’d be sure to destroy the man in the face for cheating. Semi and his ex-girlfriend – God knows what business do they have with each other, can go to fucking hell for cheating. Iwaizumi did not want to play the victim here, shit– he was indeed a victim, but his ex-girlfriend went out of her way to cheat with multiple guys while they were in a relationship. In the end, Iwaizumi would still take her back because he has always thought every relationship has its ups and downs. That was solely his mistake for being so naive.

You stared at the blank blackboard in front of the class, not hearing Oikawa and Iwaizumi have been calling your name several times. Then, you felt a hard smack on your shoulder, snapping into reality. “OW!” you groaned in pain. You looked over to your right side, where you could see Oikawa was fuming mad (well, not really) while glaring at you.

“We’ve been calling your name for the past few minutes,” Oikawa enunciated the last three words. You could sense he was a bit annoyed that you didn’t hear him calling. His expression proved it all. It’s not exactly that he could hide his expressions well. He just loves being dramatic sometimes.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” you cleared your throat as you turned your body to face him.

Oikawa rolled his eyes at you, “Iwa-chan was asking you if you wanted to be his partner for the project. I am teamed up with someone else because we did our last project together. Iwa did it solo but this project needs to be a pair work. Can you partner up with him?”

You looked at Iwaizumi, who was sitting behind both of you in class. He raised his eyebrows at you, waiting for your answer. A glimpse of his tan skin and the luscious lips… wait . Hooking up with him is one thing and partnering up with him for a project is another. But what could hurt? Your soul is already damaged, anyway. This decision can go straight to your list of disappointments and regrets.

“Sure, why not?” you answered with a smile. “You good if we start working on it after school, Iwa? I want to get it done as soon as possible. You don’t have to skip practice, just come to my house after practice ends. I’ll text you my address later.”

“I was thinking of asking you that earlier. Sure, I’ll come to your house later,” Iwaizumi agreed with the plan you made. The earlier you get the project done, the better. He needs to focus on the assessments, the upcoming exam, and also the preliminary. The pressure he has on himself is crazy. But, people don’t always see that because he hides it so well.

Oikawa wiggled his eyebrows at Iwaizumi, “Oh, alone times,” he sing-songed. Iwaizumi glared at him before he continued to work on the task given by your teacher. This dude never gives up on teasing both of you just because you guys were each other’s one night stand. He once told Oikawa to grow up because he was annoying him too much.

“Go find someone to get laid, pretty boy,” you snickered at Oikawa and the last thing you saw before facing forward was his jaw dropped open at the comment you just made.

After his practice ended, you waited for Iwaizumi in the living room when he texted he was almost there. The doorbell rang; it was none other than Iwaizumi himself. “Come in!” you said cheerfully, even though there was barely any energy left inside of you. You didn’t want to make Iwaizumi worried over your worsening mental state. He’d probably nag and call you stupid but hey, you’ve heard him called Oikawa worse.

The raven-haired boy gave you a light smile once you opened the door for him. He was freshly dressed in a white t-shirt and black sweats. The outfits combination that makes every girl drool.

“Is no one home?” Iwaizumi asked as he stepped into your house. He looked around your house and followed your steps to your room upstairs. It was his first time coming to your home and being in your bedroom.

“I told you before that my mom is barely home at times like this. She'll be home late at night,” you answered while leading him to your room. You opened the door to your room and invited him in. He followed after you and his eyes did a quick scan of your bedroom.

“Oh, I forgot about that. Send my regards to your mom when she's home soon,” Iwaizumi said.

You let out a soft chuckle and nodded to his request. Both of you started working on the project, laying out all the outlines and possible drafts. You divided the tasks that needed to be done fairly between Iwaizumi and you. Iwaizumi contributed the ideas and points needed for the project. Both of you had a discussion over it for almost an hour when your stomach suddenly made a loud noise. You glanced up to see Iwaizumi was already staring back at you.

Iwaizumi raised a lone brow at the sound. “Hungry there, princess?”

Princess . Never thought you’d get butterflies being called that. What a funny thing. Though his tone showed mockery but hell the butterflies were swarming until it left no room in your stomach.

Iwaizumi caught the brief flustered expression that was all over your face. But you turned expressionless immediately. Huh . Good to know he is capable of making you flustered, then.

“Let’s order some food. Are you okay with that?” You asked as you grabbed your phone beside you. Iwaizumi immediately said yes as he was hungry too. He didn’t have any time to grab any snacks right after practice ended.

Both of you perused the online menu and soon the food will be delivered to your doorsteps. While waiting, you and Iwaizumi picked up where the project was left off – to wrap it up for the night before the food got here.

When the food was finally delivered, you and Iwaizumi sat in your kitchen to dine in. You told Iwaizumi to make himself comfortable as he looked so awkward standing there. “Is it your first time being at a girl's house?” You let out a laugh as his expression turned sour.

If there’s one thing that Iwaizumi dislikes, it is being accused of things. He HAS been to a girl’s house before. Yes, for hooking up and whatnot. But, not for having meals together, that’s for sure!

“Not really. It just feels too domestic, no?” Iwaizumi replied in all honesty. He sat on the barstool and you slid a glass of water to the man. You paused to look at him briefly. Well, he got a point there!

“Damn. You’re right. But hey, that’s what friends do too. So we’re good,” you retaliated with a downturned smile. Iwaizumi just let out a snicker to your response. Both of you then devoured your food because hunger took over your consciousness.

He was not much of a talker at first but after practically forcing him to talk, he finally did. It wasn’t much because this man is indeed great at keeping his secrets to himself. You wondered if he told Oikawa enough about himself and his emotions when things get tough. Does Iwaizumi ever do that? Curiosity definitely gets the best of you sometimes but that’s another topic for another day.

“It’s getting late. It would be best if you go home now. Your parents must be worried,” you yawned. You peeked over the clock hanging on your wall, and it’s almost 11 p.m. but your mother wasn’t home yet.

“Yeah. I should go home. Hey, you should take a rest. You look tired. You okay?” Iwaizumi asked as he stood upright. He slung his backpack over his shoulders while looking at you, expecting your reply.

You nodded, “I’m good. You don’t have to worry about it.”

“Sure. I’m going home. Make sure you aren’t staying up too late,” Iwaizumi advised. He wasn’t sure of what he was feeling, but he had this instinct that you were hoping he would stay with you through the night. He didn’t want to seem like he’s a know-it-all – worse, a pushover so he chased his instincts away.

“Take care, Iwa. See you tomorrow!” you bid goodbye as you watched him entering the cab that was waiting in front of your house. Iwaizumi paused as he grabbed the door handle of the cab, looking back at you.

“See you tomorrow,” he said with a curt nod. You waved him goodbye and waited until the taxi took off.

One thing about getting anxious is that it comes uninvited. Your anxiety came creeping in later that night. You laid on your bedroom floor helplessly, gasping for air to breathe normally. Your tears were streaming down your face non-stop while you tried to reach your phone to dial for anyone in case things went south. It felt like you went back and forth to hell while battling the anxiety alone. You wished you had asked Iwaizumi to stay with you earlier. But then he would find out your weak point and the fear of him using it against you was enough to snap you out of reality. Cynical or not, you are done with people using your weakness against you.

About a week later, you and Iwaizumi promised to have another discussion. This time, he asked you to come to his house. You agreed to it without thinking any further because the deadline was getting closer! Iwaizumi wasn’t able to contribute over the weekend due to his volleyball practices. But, you covered his part and explained what he needed to do later on. He was super grateful for your understanding.

“Wait a second. Shit , I forgot that I ran out of my sticky notes. Do you mind if we drop by the book store?” Iwaizumi stopped walking and your steps faltered as well. You looked up at him and nodded.

“Yeah, sure. There’s the book store,” you said as you pointed a finger to the bookstore that has the navy blue signboard outside. It looks quite old but surely they have a lot of stuff there.

Iwaizumi shook his head, “I need to go to the bookstore that I always go to. It’s like 15 minutes from here. Do you mind?”

That’s one thing you didn’t see it coming. The Iwaizumi Hajime has a favorite bookstore? Surely his secret admirers would love this and go batshit crazy with the news.

“You have a favorite bookstore?” You asked. Iwaizumi bit the inside of his cheek, “Yeah, is that a problem? What? I cannot have a favorite bookstore because I am not smart enough for you?”

His defensive reply definitely got you laughing, wait no , howling of laughter. You couldn’t believe that he gets so defensive over something so trivial! Surely everyone has their favorite bookstore. Having a favorite bookstore does not make you a nerd. If anything, it makes you look smart. And God knows that leaves a good impression.

“Good God, do you need an exorcism?” Iwaizumi asked while rolling his eyes. Man, the last thing he needed today was you howling of laughter. It took a hit on his pride and yeah, he was offended a bit.

Your laughter slowly faded away. Iwaizumi was still staring at you with that scowl that could leave a permanent mark on his beautiful face. “No, dude. You should have seen the look on your face when you got so defensive just now. Chill, man. I was just asking you a question. Did someone used to make fun of you or something? Geez, seek therapy then.”

Iwaizumi heaved out a deep breath. You like to test his patience sometimes and God, he doesn’t need another friend to give him constant headaches. “Alright, I was at fault for getting too ‘defensive’ then,” he did an air quote with an annoyed expression.

“Take a joke, babe,” you groaned and he put you in a headlock that had you gasping for air. Iwaizumi didn’t use much of his force and let go when you squealed, begging him to loosen the headlock. You quickly brushed your hair using your fingers, “Remind me to not piss you off because I almost died. I wonder how Oikawa is still alive when he’s getting headlocked by you at least 3 times a week!”

“I don’t do it that often,” he said in the same defensive tone again. His eyebrows all scrunched, lips almost pouty.

You furrowed your eyebrows, “ Really? ”

“I’ll leave you here if we don’t start moving in the next 3 seconds. I’m not joking,” Iwaizumi said determinedly. He once left Oikawa at a bus stop because he was taking too long to do his hair. He hated being stalled because he’s always punctual! Why can’t other people do the same?

“I’ll report you to the police for negligence,” you huffed a reply as you fell into his steps side-by-side. Iwaizumi snorted with laughter, “That was merely a threat, princess. Take a joke, babe .”

He said the last line so casually while giving you a smirk. Damn him and that attractive as hell smirk because it could kill people! Damn him and damn the universe for trying to fuck you up with this weird feeling.

You shook your head with an annoyed smirk, “I hope the bookstore is closed. You better hurry!”

“Nah, not funny, princess. Let’s go,” he said as he dragged you with him. Thank goodness he didn’t run or sprint or else you’d have tripped on the pavements.

Once you guys showed up in front of the bookstore, Iwaizumi didn’t waste any time and headed straight to the sticky notes section. He didn’t think twice about picking the sticky notes and some highlighters. You were off to the next aisle just to check out some books. Iwaizumi then appeared by your side.

“You looking for anything?” Iwaizumi asked as his eyes carefully scanned the books shelves.

You shook your head, “Nah. Let’s go if you’re done. It’s getting late.”

Iwaizumi hummed and just when he turned his heels around, he saw two familiar individuals that he never expected to meet at all. At this place. Your gaze diverted to the same two familiar individuals when Iwaizumi stopped in his tracks.

Just like a deer getting caught in headlights, the two individuals stopped talking to each other as well.

Your heart dropped at the sight of the two people who ruined your life just a few weeks ago. Now that they’re here in front of you, you feel nothing but pure rage. Your eyes were locked on the ash blonde guy that gave you nothing but a stab in your heart. A 3-year relationship went down the drain just like that. He threw you away as if you were nothing to him.

Semi looked at you for what felt like a minute and then he moved his gaze to the man next to you. The girl next to him had her eyes locked on Iwaizumi. Her ex boyfriend of 2 years. Your breathing became ragged and what felt like anxiety spreaded all over your system like it was a virus.

You tried to control your breathing, kept your cool but fuck was it so hard to do even just that. Shit. Semi still has his power over you and you fucking hate it. This is not attraction or admiration. This is just pure hatred and disgust. Cheating was your final wake up call and no more tolerance over this son of a bitch!

Overwhelming rage almost took over you and only the thoughts of being violent were playing at the back of your mind. Maybe Iwaizumi saw your clenched fists and the fact that you almost lurched at his ex-girlfriend, he instinctively held your hand in his. His touch woke you up from the violent vision from clouding your mind.

You looked down at where his hand was holding yours. Slowly, you moved your gaze to meet his dark green orbs. His gaze showed genuine concern. “We’re better than that,” he whispered quietly. Your breath hitched. Right. You don’t like to resort to violence unless you really need to.

“Huh, fancy meeting you here, Hajime,” the girl with the shoulder-length hair spoke up, arms to her chest as her eyes stared at the man next to you. Iwaizumi’s jaw ticked at the sound of his ex-girlfriend's voice. Well, it was once his favourite. Emphasis on once . Now it’s just this annoying noise that he is starting to despise so much.

“New girlfriend?” The girl snickered when her gaze met yours. Iwaizumi might not want to start a fight or worse, a brawl or hair pulling, but you were so damn ready to punch this girl in her smug face. You do not know what kind of woman Iwaizumi is into, but this bitch was obviously nowhere in his league. Yes, she might have a pretty face but a nasty attitude mirrors her whole appearance.

You were disgusted at the sight of her and your blood level rose tenfold when you saw Semi’s hand trying to pull her back. Semi shook his head slightly when she noticed his hand on her forearm.

“As far as I’m concerned, who I am dating at the moment is none of your business,” Iwaizumi said – his voice stern, subtly indicating that both of you are currently dating. You didn’t oppose the idea. Amused, more like it.

His ex-girlfriend stifled a laughter. “Impressive work, Hajime. I didn't peg you to enjoy someone’s leftover,” she mocked.

Cheating with Semi is one thing but calling you as his leftover? This bitch knew how to push your buttons. Your eyebrows furrowed at her sudden insult.

“Well, guess I shattered your expectations. Don't worry, I'll make sure to savour every last bite of something her ex will never get a taste of,” Iwaizumi glanced over you and pulled your waist closer to his side.

You slowly smiled at both of them. “Pretty bold of you to make such an accusation. Hell, one thing that I know is that I sure as hell don’t go after someone else’s boyfriend. One of us is a fucking slut and Hajime, just between us , it is sure as hell ain’t me or you.”

Her sinister smile slowly faded from her fucking smug face.

“I don’t think so you need to go that far, Y/N,” Semi’s stern voice broke the temporary silence. Iwaizumi’s eyebrow furrowed in confusion. If anything, his ex-gf or Semi’s current gf or whatsoever started it first. He dared to spin it against you now? The audacity that some people have is unnerving!

“You don’t get to talk, cheater,” you sighed loudly. “You know what? Both of you deserve each other. I truly hope both of you rot in hell happily ever after.”

You gripped on Iwaizumi’s wrist and made your way to the cashier. You stopped in your tracks when the girl had an iron grip on your other wrist. “Where do you think you are going?”

Iwaizumi let out a sigh at her stubbornness. She is in for it and Iwaizumi knows too damn well you are not going to let this slide easily. How hard it must be for you to encounter these two people who kinda ruined your life in one day. For what it’s worth, Iwaizumi would love to see you destroy his ex-girlfriend. She deserves it.

“Who the fuck do you think you are to touch me? Eita, I do not peg you as someone who enjoys fucking crazy girls,” you looked at the girl dead in the eyes before looking back at Semi. “Fucking touch me one more time and your pretty face will be covered in bruises next. Tell your pretty girlfriend to not cause herself any harm, will you?”

You loosened her grip on your wrist and shoved her shoulder away from you. Iwaizumi gave the two people a once over and caught up with your pace.

After Iwaizumi paid for his stuff at the cashier, he followed you out of the book shop. You pinched the bridge of your nose and sighed loudly. “Fucking damn it. They ruined my day again!” You said frustratedly.

Iwaizumi examined your expression. Yeah, you were mad as hell now. He would be too if he was in your place. “You need to cool down first?” Iwaizumi asked.

You turned to look at him with tears welling up in your eyes. “ Shit , I don’t know. Let’s just go to your house, okay? I’ll be fine,” you said as you patted him on the arm. Iwaizumi watched you step away from the book shop area.

“Actually, we are going this way!” Iwaizumi raised his voice a bit and you cursed yourself for being too distracted. You immediately turned back and grabbed him in the arm. “Let’s go!” You said determinedly. Iwaizumi couldn’t help but laugh at your demeanour.

The moment you arrived at Iwaizumi’s neighbourhood, your jaw dropped. The houses here are almost elite . You immediately turned to look at him, “You never told me that you are rich.”

“I’m not rich,” Iwaizumi shrugged his shoulders. You eyed him suspiciously while following him from behind. He opened the door for you and the moment you stepped into his house, your jaw dropped again. His living room is huge and well-decorated! Surely his parents are loaded.

“You’re rich, Iwa. Just admit it, man. Good lord, you have such a beautiful house!” You gushed– your eyes wandering around the living room area. Iwaizumi shook his head at your gushing and endless praises of how beautiful his house is. Well, it’s his parents’ house not his .

Iwaizumi turned to look at you, “Done gushing? You need anything? Water? Snacks?”

You shook your head. “Let’s get it started.” The earlier you can get it done, the better.

Iwaizumi then showed you his room, where the discussion took place. He told you that his parents were working so they might come home later than expected. You were fine with it. Having Iwaizumi as your partner in this project is a blessing, you gotta admit. He is so fucking smart. Obviously, everyone has a thing for the smart guys. A bonus point, he looks very handsome as well. With the tan skin, the perfect height, athletic, everyone drools at the sight of him. Sometimes hilarious. Yeah.

He had the upper hand of knowing the subject teacher so he knew what the teacher needed despite being given the question paper. It was like he read the teacher’s mind. You were impressed with his sharp observational skills. Even though he missed contributing some of the parts, he still managed to do everything quickly. A smart and athletic man? Yes, definitely a huge 10/10!

“Why did you break up with your ex? What was her name again?” You broke the silence. Iwaizumi stopped twirling the pen with his fingers and shot you a puzzled look.

He cleared his throat and sat upright. “Why did you ask?”

You let out a soft sigh, “Just curious, that’s all. Mind telling me? Please ?”

Iwaizumi’s interest was piqued. The way you added please at the end of your sentence did something to him. Something unrecognisable that made his stomach swirl . Huh. What a weird feeling.

“You really want to know that bad, huh?” Iwaizumi asked again.

You nodded as your eyes scanned the interior of his room. Like expected, his room is well-kept. Tidy and minimalistic from little to none decorations around the room. His study desk – where the books are arranged neatly, unlike yours back home.

Your eyes then caught the Godzilla plushies sitting next to his bed. “You have plushies?” You couldn’t help but ask the question because having a plushie is a bit out of character for him.

Iwaizumi let out a soft sigh– his shoulders slumped. “Guess who got it for me?”

The way he worded his question answered everything you needed to know. “She gave it to you?”

Iwaizumi nodded weakly, “Never a fan of plushies. She just gave it to me because she saw how much I like Godzilla. That’s all. It was a nice gesture until she went and cheated on my cousin’s friend behind my back. The worst thing was, my cousin’s friend had a girlfriend too at the moment. It was messy as hell because the girl decided to attack her and I just stood there, clueless. That was not even her first time cheating behind my back! So, mine is quite similar to yours, I assume.”

The end of his sentence got you rethinking your entire breakup. Now that he said it out loud, yes it was similar. Except that Iwaizumi found out too late and yours was at the perfect time. Worst, planned by the bitch herself. Oh she’s definitely not a girl’s girl. A homewrecker at the age of eighteen. Yucks.

“Well, look at us. A product of someone who got cheated on in their relationship. Welcome to the club. Do you want to be the leader? I’m comfortable being the co-leader,” you joked. Iwaizumi just shook his head with a slight smile on his lips. He then dismissed the joke with his hand.

You took it as a cue to continue doing your discussion. Most of the time, it was just you getting distracted by his veiny hands and his raspy voice. You kept on remembering the sex you guys had before this. Slowly exhaling a deep breath, you tried to focus.

“What’s the matter with you?” Iwaizumi asked confusedly. He was busy mapping out your discussions and you were exhaling a few times– louder than usual. You looked like you were growing agitated.

You looked at him apologetically, “Well, can our friends with benefits arrangement still go on? Or have you found someone else?”

Iwaizumi’s jaw ticked. He couldn’t believe such a question got him all hot and bothered. Maybe it was a joke but you did not look like you were joking either.

“What do you have in mind?” Iwaizumi asked.

“Wanna fuck?” You asked sheepishly. Well, blame it on the hormones and the man himself. How dare he look all gorgeous and sexy while holding a discussion on an important subject?

Iwaizumi was almost sent to the emergency room at that moment. He let out a raspy laughter, “You really wanna do that right now? Good lord, you’re unbelievable.”

He was saying that as he unbuttoned the first two buttons of his shirt. You smirked knowing his tactics. Iwaizumi then reached the front of your shirt, almost popping all of your buttons in one go. He pushed your body on the carpeted floor and you broke into giggles.

The man then snaked his hand under your skirt. His palm slowly caressing the inner of your thighs that made your blood run cold. Your chest rose heavily, breath staggered at his every touch.

He pressed his thumb over your dampened cotton underwear. With a slow caress, you took a deep breath as you tried to ease yourself. Iwaizumi’s lips ghosted over your neck, gently nibbling on your skin. His free hand crept to your wrist and pinned it down beside your head.

“One touch and you’re already wet, princess?” His words hung over the air – his dark green eyes held your gaze.

You looked at him with a dazed stare, “Well, you were busy sitting still and looked pretty for me. I guess it made me feel something.”

One of the things that Iwaizumi likes about you is that you kinda match his snarky remarks. It’s not easy to match his kind of joking around without others taking it to heart. Trust him, he has tried.

A small grin appeared on the corner of his lips. His two longest fingers brushed over your wet slit. A small whimper came out of your lips, earning a smug grin from the man. “A mere touch got you whimpering? You need to learn how to last long, princess,” he said in that raspy voice of his.

What he said just now turned you on. Damn him and his dirty talk that got you all worked up. The rough feel of his fingertips lightly scratched against your sensitive pussy down there.

His fingers worked their way up to your entrance, slowly circling around your entrance before he made it up to your clit. Iwaizumi dragged his fingertips around your puffy clit that got your body jerked in his hold. You breathed heavily, trying not to make any noise like he said earlier.

“Want me to continue, princess? You’ve been real quiet,” he got up on his knees just to say it into your ear.

Your eyes locked with his gaze, “Yes, please .”

Iwaizumi’s sharp gaze bored into yours before he spoke up. “Pleading looks good on you, princess.”

His lips caught yours in a split second, nibbling on your lower lip. His free hand cupped the column of your neck before moving it to your nape, pressing your lips harder against his. You tried to breathe but he was quick to shove his tongue into your mouth.

You got impatient and immediately unbuttoned his slacks. His pants were getting tighter each second, especially the groin area. It’s amusing how easily you can affect him. The things that you make him feel, gosh.

One of Iwaizumi’s fingers crooked on the waistband of your skirt and pulled it down, revealing you in your cotton underwear. You sighed when he brought the same finger and let it linger on the wet spot a tad bit longer. The rough feel of his fingertip created a friction you never knew was so daunting.

Both of you now half-naked in each other’s lap. Iwaizumi positioned you in his lap. His face was just the right level with your clothed breasts. You unbuttoned your school shirt for him and he watched it with a thirst that almost burnt his throat. Sharp breaths accompanied his impatience while watching you get undressed.

You reached the back of your bra to unhook it. Iwaizumi got aroused just seeing how fucking pretty your tits are. He gulped hard. So hard that it was audible to both of you.

Iwaizumi is a patient man. Maybe not to a bunch of people but he sometimes has the patience of a saint. But now, he is being tested as a man. Well, he finds himself enjoying watching you stripping out of your clothes but right now, he’s like a man being starved for so long. His patience was running thin and it was very fortunate he didn’t rip your bra apart.

“Fuck, I love your tits, princess,” he sighed breathily as he buried his face in your breasts. You bit on your lower lip, suppressing the moan.

A warm feeling coated your pert nipple as a strong hand massaged another breast. You sighed when Iwaizumi gently sucked on your sensitive nipple. His other hand was busy kneading your other breast. His touch is magical, if it makes any sense. Any other stress that you were having before, they have disappeared.

Your nails scratched his scalp while your hips were busy grinding back and forth on him. Iwaizumi groaned every time his dick twitched in his pants. Not now , he grunted to himself. He wanted to savour your taste firstly first before he fed his hunger and lust.

“Your mouth feels so good, Iwa,” you half-whispered. Iwaizumi’s hand travelled to your ass and gave it a hard squeeze. You chuckled under your breath, knowing it was his silent way of acknowledging what you just said.

His tongue circled your nipple, saliva coating your sensitive nipple. Iwaizumi’s both hands were now pinned on your waists. His face glanced up at you and you gave him this pleading eyes that got him rock hard again.

Shit, the voice at the back of his mind said. Iwaizumi didn’t say anything but caught your lips with a hard and punishing kiss. You were caught off-guard that you almost stumbled backwards. But his strong hands stopped you before it even happened.

The kiss was making you feel lightheaded, not even realising both of you were undressing each other in the light of speed. Your shirt, his shirt. Your skirt, his pants. Your underwear, his boxer. Both of you are now fully naked on his carpeted floor.

“Fuck, I can’t wait to get inside you,” he whispered against your lips and you nodded without any doubts.

“Condoms,” you gasped softly and Iwaizumi immediately reached for the drawer beside his bed. He tore the foil with his teeth and rolled the condom on. You found it hot that he was getting impatient and so did you. Your mouth also watered at the sight of his dick. He always stretches your pussy so good and that’s a memory you cherish forever. But he doesn’t need to know it.

Iwaizumi then looked at you. His eyes were questioning you whether you’re ready or not. You nodded as if both of you could read each other’s minds. He then suggested getting on his bed or else both of you would get back pain.

Your weight dipped into his soft as hell mattress. Wow. It felt like clouds laying down on his bed. You just prayed his bed is also… soundproof and less creaking. “Shoot. Your mattress is comfy as hell,” you complimented as he got on top of you. His body caged your body.

Iwaizumi’s eyebrows scrunched a bit. Man, you are so random sometimes. “Princess, you do love to think your thoughts out loud, do you?”

A chuckle filled the momentary silence. You then circled your arms around his shoulders, bringing him down nose-to-nose with you. “You’re getting impatient, aren’t you? Well, come on now. Show me how bad you want to fuck me,” you said seductively against his lips.

His cock nudging between your legs. Iwaizumi’s smirk slowly plastered on his lips. He bit on your lower lip until you winced in pain. “Such a vulgar language,” his voice rasped. He propped an elbow as his other free hand lined his cock along your entrance.

The tip of his cock slid inch by inch – your mouth gaped open, back arching as your pussy stretched to his size. Iwaizumi let out a soft groan as he bottomed out. Your nails were already clawing into his back.

His fingers clawed onto his bedsheet, hips slowly rocking forward. Fuck, he felt like he was in pure bliss once he was inside you. Your pussy was so warm, so inviting and so fucking tight that it hurt. He almost came the second he was inside you. Bless the universe for not fucking with him that moment.

Your legs wrapped around his waist, locking him in. His hand then squeezed your breasts in both of his hands. Looks like you finally figured out what kind of man he is.

The truth is, Iwaizumi leaned more towards the guys who prefer ass. He was not a douchebag. He simply has preferences but it’s not like he is going to announce it to the real world. Why couldn't his hands leave your tits? Because your tits were on his mind all day. Especially the way your sports attire you were wearing earlier hugging every curve of your upper body and the sports bra you were wearing definitely triggered some of his primal instincts.

His thrust was hard and punishing. He fucked you so hard that your tits bounced wildly in his face. The man was so lost in how lewd his sight was right now. Your breathless moans, the continuous whispers telling him to keep going. Fuck. He missed this. He missed fucking you and being inside you.

“Princess, your pussy is so fucking tight,” he leaned down to whisper. Your eyes slowly opened, revealing his handsome face and the sweats that glistened on his forehead and abs.

The man has a set of abs that was carved by God himself. Every line and crevice is deep and curved to perfection. His V-line too. Good lord. Suddenly, you were hit with a pang of jealousy. How many women did he sleep with? How many nudes did he send before you? Ugh! Jealousy couldn’t have come at the worst time.

Iwaizumi glanced over your fucked out expression. Eyes closed, lips swollen and glossy from the kiss. He cupped your cheek, “Did you hear me, princess?”

You nodded hurriedly, “Don’t stop, Iwa. Fuck. S’so good.”

Your words were all over the place. Not even your mind could be able to function properly with how good his cock was stretching you out. The tip of his cock nudging your spot, bringing you closer to climax by each second. You clawed at his shoulder at the slow sensation building up in your core.

“Fuck!” You hissed when you felt it coming. Iwaizumi groaned when your pussy clenched around his cock like a tight vice.

One of his hands found your clit. His thumb rubbing circles on your weakest spot that left you crumble like a broken vase. All of your senses heightened. Goosebumps prickled and your core tightened into a twisted knot. Your breath started getting heavier but Iwaizumi wouldn’t stop his thrust – from fucking into you harder.

It was all too much. If he kept going, you might scream at the top of your lungs. You didn’t want him to stop either.

The man himself was losing his composure. He couldn’t last long but fuck, you were so close. So close to the brink of an orgasm. That’s a thing he wouldn’t let slide so easily.

His thumb found your clit again, his cock thrusting in and out of you mercilessly. You were so wet that there was no restriction. His thumb circled your clit, building the rhythm to make you come.

“Come on, princess. Give me all you got, hm? Don’t hold back. Let go, beautiful,” he leaned down next to your ears, panting heavily. His eyes shut closed, trying to last longer than you. Your bodies were so close, chest-to-chest. The noises were so lewd you were afraid if someone was outside, listening to everything.

You moaned again. Your sweet moans lulling the sound of the skin slapping against skin. It was only a matter of time before your orgasm crashed.

“Fuck, baby, I’m so so close!” You pleaded. Iwaizumi kept going, his thrust didn’t stop or get any sloppier. He kissed you hard on the lips that had you gasping for breath.

You gasped for air, “Oh God, Oh God, Oh God!”

Your cries were his cue that your orgasm was in a matter of seconds. Iwaizumi shut you up with his mouth again. The tight knot crashed. White spots covered your vision as your breath slowly became normal again. Iwaizumi pressed his forehead against yours and gathered his breath.

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath as he slowly pulled out of you. You felt empty without him being inside you.

You let out a soft gasp watching him tying the used condom and tossing it into his dustbin. The man then grabbed a pair of shorts to wear. He rummaged through his closets to find a clean towel to help you clean up, though there wasn’t really any big mess to clean after.

Iwaizumi tossed the clean towel to you. “You need to take a quick shower? You can use my bathroom.”

You let out a disgruntled sound, “Thanks.”

Iwaizumi’s eyes trailed after your movements as you made your way to his bathroom. He was fortunate enough to have his personal bathroom. It makes it easier every time he has company over. Girls, especially.

You are the second girl he has ever invited to his room. His bed , vis-a-vis. Most of the time he prefers to do it at their house instead. But he is not the type to fuck around a lot. It’s a waste of his time to focus on the wrong thing when he could be focusing on his final year and volleyball.

The man then threw his weight on his bed the second you locked the bathroom door. He placed an arm over his eyes, reminiscing the whole sex fiasco just now. How pretty your moans and cries were. Just by remembering the tiniest part of it got him hard again. Double shit.

Your eyes widened at how fucking beautiful his bathroom was. The interior was to die for, and you meant it literally! It could be one of your dream bathrooms! Just how rich is he?!

Iwaizumi is a very organised man. He arranged all of his products where they were supposed to be. You gawked at his bathroom before finally getting into the shower. It was spacious as hell, enough to fit both of you.

Nope ! Not going there!

Just when you were about to get dressed, your mind finally clicked that you did not bring any of your clothes inside the bathroom. That also meant you had to go out and re enter again. Shit and shit!

Without thinking any further, you just came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around your body. It was a bit short but enough to cover your everything .

Iwaizumi’s eyes brightened with amaze once his gaze landed on you. “Forgot your clothes? You know you could have called me to bring it to you, right?”

You huffed, “Obviously my brain cells weren’t working! Geez.” You looked at your clothes scattered on the floor and you sighed. Great! Now you needed to crouch to pick them up.

“Hajime!” A woman’s voice suddenly boomed outside of his door. Both of you jumped in surprise at the sudden presence.

“Your ex came back?” You gasped.

Iwaizumi looked at you with the “ are you fucking serious? ” expression. Duh ! It was his mother! The only thing that should have been the first thing on your mind! Iwaizumi hurriedly asked you to put on your clothes but damn it, it was so hard to focus on the simplest task at times like this!

“Hajime! Do you have your friends over?” His mother knocked on his door countless times. She even tried to hear what was going on inside of his room.

Iwaizumi tried to breathe normally, “Yes, mom! We’ll be out in a second! Just- finalising our school work!”

Mrs. Iwaizumi let out a huff, “Sure. Come out when y’all are ready. I ordered some takeouts.”

“Okay, mom!” Iwaizumi said loudly. He listened to his mother’s footsteps fading away into the distance. He let out a relieved sigh, “Shit. That was close. Okay, get dressed.”

You hurriedly hooked your bra when he wasn’t looking. “What do you think I am doing right now?” You replied sarcastically.

“Always a fun time with you, princess,” Iwaizumi shot you a glare as he put on his sweats and hoodie. He ruffled his hair so he looked at least presentable in the presence of his mother.

Couldn’t afford getting caught red-handed by his mother. Truly a nightmare if it ever happens. Iwaizumi shuddered at the thought.

You carefully smoothed your hair using your fingers. After ensuring you looked neat, you told Iwaizumi that you were good to go! He unlocked his door and asked you to step out first.

Iwaizumi walked ahead of you. In the living room, there sat his mother waiting with a magazine in her hands. Her eyes shot to where both of you were standing like deers being caught in the headlights.

“Oh, it’s not Oikawa! Hello!” His mother chirped. She rose to her feet and walked towards both of you. You shied behind Iwaizumi but he slowly pushed you to the front.

“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Iwaizumi. I’m Hajime’s partner. Study partner, I meant,” you immediately corrected yourself after the vague meaning. Wouldn't let his mother think otherwise.

Weird. Being friends wouldn’t even justify that you guys are fucking.

You shushed away the tiny voice in your head. Iwaizumi’s mother extended her hand to you and you shook her hand.

“Nice to meet you too, Hajime’s girl friend,” she chuckled and glanced over to his son.

Iwaizumi let out a soft sigh, “Mom, please.”

“I was just kidding, sweetheart. What’s your name, sweetie?” Iwaizumi’s mother asked.

She looked friendly and so warm. There’s something about her aura that made you comfortable being around her.

“Just call me Y/N, Mrs. Iwaizumi,” you smiled politely.

His mother’s smile reached her eyes, radiating positive vibes. “Alright, Y/N sweetie. I actually bought some takeouts. Please have some before you head back. Come on, let’s go to the dining room.”

She said and took your wrist with her. You looked back at Iwaizumi and he just shook his head in defeat.

“Just play along,” he mouthed. Your lips formed into a thin line. His mother seemed nice and you did not have the heart to turn her down.

Well, a dinner wouldn’t hurt! At times like this, you weren’t sure whether your mom was already home or not.

Mrs. Iwaizumi loved to tease her son a lot. Iwaizumi kept getting his ears red because of how much his mother liked to poke him around. You couldn’t help but stifle a silent laughter. He’d destroy you if you enjoyed this too much. Well, he already gave you a sign by glaring at you. Before he puts you in a headlock, you better take a step back just to be safe!

Iwaizumi was not having it. Thank goodness his father was not around or else it’d be double the trouble. His father’s overseas meeting spared him the headache. He kinda enjoyed the dinner but maybe there was no need to admit it to your face. You’ll gloat and he cannot afford another petty human being in his life.

God knows how handful they can be at times. But to him, it almost felt like he had met his match.

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu smut #haikyuu!! smut #hq smut #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi hajime x reader #iwaizumi hajime smut #iwaizumi smut #iwaizumi x reader #[💭]. ain’t my fault

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mayonnaise2004 · 2 months ago

Text

Meeting + Dating James Hetfield

(I’ve never actually written for a real person.. huh? Also, guess who’s back! Yeah I feel so much better after that break and plan to start writing again. Just on my own time of course 🩷)

- In 1981, You were fresh out of college and decided ‘Hey, I’m an adult now. I could move away and start a new life!’ And so, you did!

- you got a stable little job as a waitress, lived in an apartment and began to build yourself up from nothing.

- it wasn’t until 1984 that you met James, and oh boy was it the best year of his life

- You had heard about some new metal band performing at one of the local bars and since you didn’t have anything planned that night, you decided to go. I mean it’s one concert! It’s not like it’s gonna change your life.. right?

- The show started around 7:00 and ended at 10:30. For those 3 hours and 30 minutes, James could not help but glance at you in the crowd, and the fact the light made you look like an Angel sent from above didn’t help either. God, he was in love.

- After the show the usual happened; Fans came to ask for pictures, autographs and the whole nine yards. Originally he thought you had left, so imagine the shock that went through him when you bought a band shirt and asked him to sign it.

- He could feel the eyes of his bandmates as he signed your shirt and brought up a conversation with the usual starter. ‘What’s a pretty/handsome little thing like you doing in a place like this?’

- He had to whack Lars and Kirk on the back of the head once they got backstage because he wouldn’t stop making kissing motions with their hands

- You found him sweet. The way his lips practically disappeared when he smiled, the touch of interest in his eyes when you asked how long he had been performing.

- He was truly a breath of fresh air. He was polite unlike the frat boys you were used to and god the look on those eyes made you feel like the only person in that room.

- The offer of a few drinks was something you could not resist. He was sexy, good with his fingers, offering to pay for your drinks and was willing to spend time with you after rocking the hell out? How could you say no?

- The whole night was a blur of dancing, giggles and a hole lotta bitter tasting booze. You hadn’t had this much fun since college!

- The next morning you woke up with an extremely painful hangover, curled in the blankets that were left in the tourbus.. with passed out James Hetfield beside you with a mess of curls.

- He was embarrassed. The poor guy had planned to ask you out the night before and had wanted to take you on a decently romantic date. Change of plans I suppose?

- Needless to say, he took you to get some McDonald’s fries to ease your hangover hunger and the two of you seemed to bond.

- After a day on the town, he brought you back to the stadium since the band had another week of shows in your town and of course, offered to take you on a proper date.

- James is a very social person, the type of boy who could make friends with a corpse. So if you two do date expect to know/ be introduced to a lot of the people he knows.

- He’s very loving. His main display of affection is touch.

- definitely the type of guy to put you in a headlock and smother you with kisses.

- Get ready to be at a lot of concerts and backstage, it’s like a whole new world.

- helping him write lyrics

- hanging out with him and the band! You get along with everyone and it’s mostly a fit of giggles between you and Kirk.

- He’s an ominous jealous type. He’ll just quietly watch from the distance as a guy openly flirts with you, glaring daggers into his head.

- Loves to slow dance with you. It’s a great way to just destress from the famous lifestyle.

- He does plan on marrying you. He just can’t exactly afford it at the start of the Metallica gig.

- sneaking away at parties to kiss or just be wholesome

- having matching necklaces that little girls would usually wear (like the ones you see at Claire’s with the hearts or unicorns.. he doesn’t give a shit.)

- wearing his band shirts

- if you're going out at night with your friends, best believe you're being sprayed with his cologne. The last thing he needs is a man flirting with you when he’s not there.

#james hetfield #james hetfield x reader #metallica oneshot #metallica x reader #metallica #80s #90s James Hetfield

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bursonafied · 11 months ago

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Vampire simpbur would be most pathetic loser ever I think maybe

-🍡 anon !! :3

OHH MY GOSH YES!! He would be so pathetic and cold all the time… he would just want you to hold him so he could feel warm… and probably some of your blood too

I love him sm :(

ALSOOOO sorry it’s late! I got busy with classes and other things… I’m working on all requests! I have a doc with all of them on it and I’ll do my best to post one at least once a week. :)

Thank you soso much to my friend honey-with-tea for helping me come up with ideas and inpso for my piece :)

Warnings: blood, biting

Pairing: vamp!wilbur x gn!reader

Pronouns: you/yours

*not proofread*

"Please, y/n…” Wilbur begs, following you around the dim flat like a lost puppy. Ever since he’d revealed to you that he was a vampire, (crazy, right?), he would not stop pestering you. “Just a taste!” He would whine, wanting nothing more than a taste of you. your blood would be like liquid rubies to him. Like a fine wine of the highest cost.

The juxtaposition between his height and his intimidating energy was pretty comedic. Standing at a solid 5’4 seemingly made him even more pathetic. He looked like he should be taller, right?

“No! I don’t know how many times I have to say it. I swear to god, Wilbur. I had a long day at work. Someone’s dog threw up on me after waking up from surgery.” You complain, hurrying to your room to change out of your work clothes, putting on a pair of comfy pajama pants and a t-shirt. You shut the door behind you, and Wilbur just whines behind it. “Seriously?” He groans and you can her him stomp away. You step out of your room, running your fingers through your hair. your room was the only place you could get privacy in your shared place.

Wilbur is immediately beside you again.

“You’re.. pathetic.” You mumble to him. He rolls his eyes yet still follows you. He figured that bothering you would be the only way to get you to say yes. You go to the kitchen to start your dinner, and while Wilbur can eat things other than blood, but nothing could satiate his hunger for it. you start up a pot of water, taking out the pasta and sauce, then grab some frozen meatballs from the freezer. It was a simple meal and you were too tired to make something complicated. As you stir in the pasta, you feel Wilbur creep up behind you, his arms snaking around your waist. You freeze for a moment, but sigh loudly as you feel his breath on the side of your neck. He could practically hear the blood flowing through your veins. You shake your head.

“Wilbur.” You say sternly. “Don’t you dare bite me.” He listens to that much. Instead, he leans close and licks a stripe up your neck, stopping up by your ear. You shiver beneath his touch and turn your head.

“What? I listened.” He speaks in a low, snarky tone. You glance down to his mouth. his fangs. If he wasn’t a vampire that wanted to drain you of your life, maybe you’d be attracted to him. Maybe you already were, and just refused to believe it.

“You’re a pain.” “You love me.” You share a short exchange before it falls silent again. “Whatever.” You add before stirring the pasta, allowing it to boil. You cook the rest of your dinner and happily plate it, eager to dig in. You make a plate for Wilbur, just in case. You hear some light chuckles from Will before he turns to sit at the table.

Now, a few minutes later, you two sit silently at the table. You scroll through social media as you eat. Wilbur sort of pushes the food around on the plate and nibbles on a meatball, but his gaze is mostly on you.

He watches your neck, the way it moves when you swallow. The way your collarbones seemed so prominent and bite-able. He scratches at his hands, his nails scratching harshly along his skin to leave red marks. He was hungry, starving! He could barely contain it! He stares at you for a second before he stands up, the chair he sat in flies back and bangs against the wall.

“I’ll be back!” He shouts, hurrying to the bathroom. You watch him for a moment, then hesitantly turn back to your food. Suddenly, you’re not hungry. You dump the plate as well as Wilbur’s, since you know damn well he wouldn’t eat any of that. Meanwhile, Wilbur stares into the sink as his stomach cramps, he turns on the cold water and runs it over his pale hands, then splashes it over his face. He stands up and stares at himself. His hunger only increased. He would grow weaker if he continued to refuse to eat even mortal food. Would he have to resort to his vampiric tendencies and go out during the night, scouring the streets for any poor soul who happened to be alone and were weak and too nervous to fight back? Or, would you finally give in? It wasn't that hard! Was it? No! Wilbur groans. He shuts off the sink and takes a breath before slapping himself lightly to psych himself out. “Come on Wilbur. Be better, fuckin’ creep.” He mutters to himself before going back out to the living room, where you’re sat on the couch.

“Sorry! Had an emergency!” He smiles at you, but you only blink a few times out of confusion and stand up. “What happened…? You were fine five minutes ago.” “Oh! You know. Drank a lot of water today.” He lies, and you easily catch on. Curse you for paying such close attention to him. “You never drink water, you damn liar.” You cross your arms and shift your weight on your feet. Wilbur gulps, shaking his head. “I felt like it today.” “God you think I’m stupid.” You scoff with a disbelieving laugh. “What?? When did I ever say I thought you’re stupid?” Wilbur shakes his head, eyebrows furrowing with confusion. “You didn’t have to say it!” You retort, “You thinking your lie would work said enough.” You cross your arms over your chest and Wilbur puts his hands up in defense. “Okay, whatever. Sorry.” He mumbles. “It’s always sorry with you. Either sorry or, ‘can I please have some of your blood? Can I please have a taste? Just a bit?” Wilbur seems to shrink into himself and his face flushes, if that was even possible for him. Could vampires blush? “It’s pathetic and embarrassing! I don’t get it. Maybe the fact you—“ You pause and take a long breath.

“Wilbur.” You say after a long silence. There was only one way to get him to stop begging, and that was just to give him what he wanted. He looks up from his shameful slump and looks at you. “…yeah?” His voice is as small as his height. What a loser. “Shut the fuck up, and I’ll let you,, um, I’ll let you.. feed.” Wilbur’s eyes instantly light up. He nods rapidly and does his silly little hand-flaps he does when excited. “Yes! Really?? Oh, thank you!I’ll never ask again!!” He says, absolutely elated that you finally agreed. You take a deep breath and approach him, his eyes glimmering. “Just... don’t make it awkward.” You practically beg, not wanting it to be weird as he quite literally feeds of your blood. What am I saying,,, of course it would be weird! Your roommate would be just drinking your blood. “I’ll do my best,” He chuckles nervously and approaches you. “Are you sure this is okay?” He asks, nervously fidgeting with is hands. You shift your weight awkwardly on your feet before nodding. “As long as you leave me alone when you’re done.” “Of course.”

Another moment of awkward silence… it seemed like there were a lot of those lately.

“I…” he pauses, nervously tapping his fingers against your shirt. “Your wrist.” He says after a moment. “What?” You ask, tilting your head. “It— it’ll hurt less. And um, won’t be as much blood. Like, imagine just getting a blood sample at the doctor.” You could tell Wilbur was growing nervous. He never really expected you to say yes to… this. “Oh, right.” You whisper and nod, holding out your wrist. He grabs your arm and guides you to the couch, sitting you down, “Just incase you get.. dizzy.” He runs his thumb over the blue vein that ran along your arm, displaying the precious liquid he’s craved for so long.

His breathing picks up as he lifts your arm to his mouth. He shudders as he can feel the heat radiating off your body, and his mouth waters. He can’t take it anymore. You notice his grip tighten on your arm. “Go ahead.” You whisper after a second. Wilbur nods and then finds the perfect spot, the pulse of your wrist. He opens his mouth and without warning, sinks his fangs right into your vein. Making sure his teeth went deep enough to draw blood. You gasp at the pain, flinching slightly despite expecting it. Wilbur pulls his mouth away for a second and allows some of the blood to pool before sticking out his tongue and lapping up the blood, humming with contentment as he licks up each and every drop. You see the blood, the way it smears over his tongue and lips as he messily drinks it up. your breathing picks up, uneven. He slows down and looks up so his eyes meet yours. You two hold eye contact, Wilbur’s tongue slips out and slides along your skin, stopping the blood that beads up every time he pulls away. Your hand finds it was to his chin, light cupping it as he holds your forearm. “What’re you-“ he whispers, his face lifting from your arm so it was more level with yours. “I— I just..”you shake your head, not so sure what had taken over you. “Is this going to.. change me? You know… like..” You gesture to the bite marks on his neck that were poorly hidden with makeup, and he tilts his head. “Uh- um-“ he stutters out, shrugging. “I don’t know..” He whispers nervously. “I hope you do.” his voice is quiet. “Because I would love to spend the rest of time with you.”

Your eyes widen and your face seem to burn. The stinging in your wrist fades right before Will glances down at it once more. The blood was pooling, threatening to drip over your wrist and right onto the grey couch. You tilt his head back up to meet your gaze again. “You.. want to stay, with me?” Your voice is a bit shaky, head tilting. “Ye— yeah.” Wilbur’s gaze holds yours, he leans closer. And closer, and closer. “I don’t think I would want to spend my life with anyone else.” He adds. Just another inch, he thinks. You swallow the saliva filling your mouth, feeling slightly sick as the blood still spills from your wrist. You have no words for Will. Nothing to say in response to his sudden confession. Not that you had the chance to, because as soon as you went to speak, his lips collide with yours. You momentarily forget the feeling of blood running down toward your fingers as you feel his cold lips on yours. They’re cold, but soft. Softer than you expected. It’s slow at first but soon he scoots himself further, his lips part and his tongue hungrily presses to your lips. He’s practically begging to let him in. So, you do. You part your lips and are instantly met with the metallic taste of your own blood. Your hand moves from his chin to hold his cheek, your blood spreading across his face, in the shape of your hand. The kisses spread, his lips moving down your neck where he simply kisses your skin, but after a moment, his teeth graze your throat. his breath is hot and wet against your skin. You let out a quiet, choked sound at the feeling. Your stomach twists into knots and you can feel the emotions you’ve packed away rushing through your veins, almost at the same speed as your blood pumping through them.

“Do it,” you whisper, tilting your head back a bit. “Please..” You nearly beg, and he nods, smirking against your skin. It’s another second before you feel his fangs sink into your neck. he makes sure it’s higher up on your carotid artery so it bleeds less, hopeful you would turn, joining him in immortality. His teeth remain in your skin and your hands begin to tremble with the pain that’s followed by pleasure. Your eyes pinch shut tightly, ignoring the pain as best you can. He soon pulls away and sweetly licks away the blood before kissing the area.

You aren’t sure how long it’s been since the first bite, nor what time it was now. But Wilbur was fed and happy, so that’s what really mattered.

He comes back with a towel and glass of water for you, wiping up any of the left over blood that began to dry on your skin. You sip the water and lean back against the couch. As soon as he’s done, Wilbur sets down the towel and curls up next to you, looking up at you with loving eyes. “Thank you.” He whispers, running his fingers over the bite marks on your neck. “Hm?” You hum, looking over to him. “For.. letting me bite you and stuff.” You smile and nods, It wasn’t as big of a deal as you initially thought. “Anything to get you to stop whining.” You tease, and he just grins before rolling his eyes. “Whatever, you seemed to like it.” You couldn’t deny that so you remain silent. Wills arms snake around your waist and he pulls himself close to you. “You excited? Get to deal with me for all of eternity now.” He teases with an obnoxious kiss to the cheek. You nod.

“I can’t wait.”

#wilbur soot #argbur #simpbur #simpbur x you #bursonas #simpbur x reader #wilbur soot x reader #bursonafied #wilbur x reader #wilbur x you #vampire #vampbur #gn reader #gender neutral reader #wilbur #wilbur soot fluff #wilbur x y/n #revivebur #argbur x you

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