#god i am thinking too much about this
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shoutout to that one april fools video from forgotten weapons for making me think about how firearms evolved over the course of the fallout universe
#like the ncr service rifles are canonically all pre war rifles according to joshua sawyer#so where are they being built? did the ncr just Find Them? that means there's a limited number of them#god i am thinking too much about this
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been thinking a normal amount about just how Strong yuuji is
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#yuuji#megumi#itafushi#fanart#jjk fanart#i have been drawing arms too much and with too much detail to not be thinking about how much this boy can lift#picks up megu like a sack of potatoes ....casual bridal style......#god they make me unwell#also these poses pushed me down the stairs if i have to look at one more stock wedding photo i am going to lose it#edit bc a bunch of megumis facial structure was out of proportion smh
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[right to left]
finally finished This Wip from Ever ago and so now i ask you ever look into another dudes eyes and suddenly want to do whatever he wants
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#professor x#magneto#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus lehnsherr#the kids are here too but i aint taggin them vaeLKEVJKLJ#snap sketches#posting this now and not obsessing over the details i need to SLEEP#please click/tap and zoom to read anything im sorry theres so much dialogue#i thought i was gonna finish this sooner but i went grocery shopping with my bro today and that took longer than expected !!!!#ALSO CHAT. if youre up to date on My Lore via my tags ... my prof's lettin me submit my assignment ... life's so good...#speaking of life being good i was giggling like stupid while drawing this . i named it 'this is stupid' and i stand by that#this is so unserious im gonna make myself throw up ITS SO CORNY i make myself sick with what i draw <- will continue to do this#only god knows if this is even how that power of his works i just saw an opportunity and ran with it#the trick here is he doesnt even have to use any 'power' he can just do that to charles by default#however im making them be obnoxious about it. i am making them obnoxious over dramatic grandpas because i can#my only crime is loving the utter cheese and corniness of the 60s comics like God. anyways bye !!!!!!!#maybe one day ill finish that other comic i sketched for this weekend but i fear i wont have time to so next weekend me thinks ....#for now i hope you all enjoy this. goofy as hell nonsense jLAKJVEKLVJ
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I think Deku has a bit of a mean streak, actually. he’s no Bakugou—that’s for sure—but he’s not this innocent, sweet angel baby that the media has painted him out to be. but you only catch it when you least expect it, when you’re pushing his nerves, when the stakes to everything around him are high, when he’s tired of endless sleepless nights and just—snaps.
“Oh?” you go, grin unfurling like some grinch, chin resting on your hands as you leer at him from across his expansive desk. “You’re mean.” your words are teasing, a snarl that curls your mouth up. Deku stutters, eyes going wide, jaw snapping shut in surprise as he tries to think back on how rude he just sounded.
“No, I’m not—I mean, you wouldn’t stop and I just—there’s a lot on my plate right now—and you just—you keep on—I’m not—I’m not mean.” He’s sputtering, hands all over the place, the glasses perched on the bridge of his nose falling even lower with how he jabbers on and on. it’s endearing really, to see how he tries to upkeep his image of being so kind and understanding, even though his nostrils just flared at you. and his eyebrows turned down and he gritted at you, his hands were balled into fists, his words were so nasty, so ugly, so unbecoming for Deku.
you liked it. loved it even—vowed to get him like this every single fucking second that you could.
you pick and poke at him whenever you see him, teasing him and pulling at him. pushing him around even though the hero is so much stronger than you, so much bigger. and he lets you, tries to defend himself but—that’s not what you want. you want the ugliness, the snark, the mean.
he snaps, eventually, when you least expect it. grabs you up in black whip when you go to push him against the wall for the third time in only a minute, his eyes suddenly dark, the aura of the room suddenly charged.
“That’s what I was looking for.” you whisper to him, the grin spreading your face quickly dissipating in only seconds when you become the prey. when you become the one pushed up against the wall with teeth at your neck, a hand in your underwear, bullying your hole with too thick fingers.
“Why do you want me to act like this? Be so mean to you, huh?” he sounds so frustrated with himself, with you, growling and nipping and licking when you don’t answer quick enough. but your breath is caught in your lungs because finally—finally, did you get what you wanted. it just took a little bit of pushing, you suppose.
#omg I wrote this idea down last night and couldn’t even type it up#bc I took some sleep meds and it put me out SO FUCKING QUICK????#usually I don’t lay down until like an hour and a half or two#but it was literally like 40 mins and I was DONE!!!!#but I finally wrote it :D#there’s also been so much talk of him on the dash and i am. very much so liking this#I miss him bc I don’t think about him enough#but I also think he can be. so mean. like NASTY mean when his limits are pushed enough#ohhhh my god I wont him so bad#okay gn I took more meds bc my pelvis has been in so much pain????#just the right side too??? omg AM I DYING GELP#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#deku treats! 🍬
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So I may have got The Book of Bill and it has me in a slight tiny itty bit of a death grip hyperfixation where all I've been able to imagine is his pathetic toxic ex ass
This pathetic triangle has once again parasitically wormed his way into my brain after years of absence
Also he totally would try and gaslight Ford and say he probably just lost the shirt when he stole it if ever asked where the shirt went
Ok so I could've put a ton of things in that last, panel, so I did, with some joke suggestive ones as the last two below the cut
I'm going to explode him with stock video explosions a bajillion times over
#art#digital art#gravity falls#bill cipher#the book of bill#billford#I'm strangling this bastard in my mind#Not like he'd want to stay considering what I've imagined him doing#I feel oddly cringe and self conscious#But I always do when presenting not dsaf to my probably 100% dsaf audience#And I feel extra mega cringe because my permanent Feral brainrot is mixing with the tbob brainrot#If you ask me about that you will open Pandora's box and I couldn't be happier#Seriously I imagined it too much and it accidentally turned into a whole ass au I think#God I'm so cringe#But I am free#I enjoy talking to myself in my tags#Hi me! It's 4:30 am go to bed
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heeyyy gaaanggg
the pose and the background of the album version (left) are based on oingo boingos only a lad album art. not cause i think he has anything to do with it but just cause ive been wantin to draw that pose for like. weeks and i didnt know who to put there. so why not my latest bug man.
#my art#digital art#digital painting#fanart#resident evil 7#ethan winters#goddd PLEAAASEEEE#i havent known if i was gonna post this or not multiple times in the process of drawin this. but ultimately i spent too much time on it to#NOT post it. embarrassment be damned#but at the same time what am i even doin yknow. what is this what is goin on pleaaseee PLEASEEEEE#I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RESIDENT EVIL!!! I DONT KNOW N O T H I NG I KNOW LESS THAN NOTHING#HOW?? HOW DID I GET HERE??? WHY DID THIS HAPPEN???? i know exactly the answer to all those questions but it still boggles me how fast this#happened. usually it takes WEEKS if not MONTHS for me to start makin fanart. this was faaasttttt TOO FAST and im like. genuinely constantly#thinkin about this game. im ALWAYS thinkin about this game. part of why this took me so long to do is cause i always wanna play re7 or thin#about re7 in a strange and deranged way. ive actually genuinely been SICK WHAT HAPPENEDDDDDD#im losing it!! anyways this took me a looonggg ass time and i redrew it soo many timmmessss#i did like. 3 lineart passes. the album version i did 3 shading passes. i really struggled!! and ultimately i dont know how i feel about it#like i kinda resent it. for takin so long and makin me suffer so much#never again. never again will i spend that much time on a drawing. i HATE when drawins take a long time. i HATE that. it makes me madddd#ive been insane. ive been so insane. and im not gettin better like i cant sleep sometimes cause im thinkin about this game and this guy and#that gal like i think about them!! so! so much!! oh my god!!#in the time it took me to finish this ive done like 10 sketches for other pieces like. and ive had like 3 ideas ive written down.#and like 50 that i havent written or sketched.#IVE WRITTEN POETRY!! P O E T R Y !!!#i write the occasional poem when im feelin some kinda profound emotion but i NEVER write poetry about media SOBBING#anyways thats the post i think this is the beginnin of the end so lets hold hands and pray. ugh sorry if i get sick. im shakin.
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I'm not ever careful and I can be rude, yeah
#i am sooo normal about the pjo series#oh my god theyre friends#they are such good friends#and they are going to help each other survive#till they fall in love#lyrics are from I'm not okay by Weathers#i have a feeling this looks like a postcard#but i had too much fun drawing hands to discard them#pjo#pjo series#pjo tv series#percy jackson#percy jackson series#percy jackson show#percy jackon and the olympians#ok i think thats all#ater art#its 6 am help i wake up at 8 am
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I don't know if anyone has pointed this out yet and I also don't want to fuel the "is it a tear or is it the rain" debate 😂 (and really, I have no idea, and we may never know, anyway lol), but, having watched that scene over a trillion times now…... am I trippin' or does it look like Rook is ALSO flippin crying in that same moment???
And BOTH on the right eye, too??
So, whether it's the rain or not, what are the odds of BOTH of them having a raindrop looking like a tear on their right eye and why do I just KNOW this is deliberate and how this might set the stage for the, quote, "connection between the two of them" that the devs talked about in the Game Informer article, Solas seeing himself in Rook/Rook identifying with Solas as the story unfolds?? And doesn't this feel almost poetic in a way?
#datv spoilers#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#rook#solas#WHY is everyone CRYING#and why am *I* crying thinking about THEM crying?? 😂#IS IT BECAUSE OF YOU VARRIC???#I mean why else would *Rook* cry?#oh god#I'm not reading too much into it right? lol#datv#da4#tinfoil time
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youve heard of sex flowers get ready for the flower that makes you into a celestial shoujo herione complete with particle effects you cannot turn the fuck off and creates a wifebeam so powerful it can incapacitate and maim and keeps making you burst into tears and fall on your ass which makes the wifebeam More Powerful and you also cannot turn this off either. and is also still, sort of, a sex flower
from one of my favorite fanfictions, Celestial Afterglow by elanor_pam, a fic that defies description in the best possible way
#arts#shen qingqiu#svsss#listen im not saying that ive spent a cumulative half a year reading this fic and then trying to make an arts for it#and then getting frustrated and stopping because i couldn't figure out how to make sqq shimmery enough#but like. im not NOT saying that#this is the FOURTH time ive started something for this bitch it haunts my fucking dreams and yet the opalescent glittery sqq evades me#perhaps you o unlearned fool look at this and say hmm that's too many colour layers and glowy effects but oh how wrong you are#if it doesnt make you literally fall over yourself at how otherworldly and radiant he is then there is room for improvement yet#perhaps you look at this and you think Wow!!! this gives me literally NO ideas what this fic is about#well Let Me Tell You. i have no fucking idea how to summarize this fic#its not often the tags in a fic give me pause but i saw this and as i read the tags i was increasingly just like What#but i have no idea how to describe it. the tags arent NOT accurate but i was SO unprepared for what happened in like an extremely pos way#if i were tagging this i think i would give it the no archive warnings apply label if that matters to you#the author seemed they wanted to leaned towards over caution rather than risk missing anything re tags because This Is A Weird Fic#but oh my fucking god#i am gripping you by the shoulders i cannot stress enough how charming it is#brilliant characterization especially with airplane in the first scene#and also so much fucking funnier than i thought possible for the general setting summary tags and buildup#its just. ough. its good
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#the animosity between these two is so palpable it’s suffocating. of course i think they should make out sloppy style#listen i love jack x ianto as much as the next TW girlie. can’t get enough of jack x john’s relationship dynamic either#and i think jack x john x ianto is a god-tier ship (and a personal favorite) and is CRIMINALLY underrated and overlooked#but there is also something about john x ianto specifically#the POSSIBILITIES#they’re haters they’re lovers they’re enemies they’re allies#they’re the jealous type they love (and hate) the same man they desperately need some serious counseling and will never EVER get it#they got paraphilias out the wazoo they are far too emotionally unhealthy to be in a proper D/s#they’re at each other’s throats and they’re down each other’s throats#they set each other on fire and now they can’t get enough of the flames#they will never fully be honest and vulnerable with themselves or each other (except for that flicker of a moment when they are)#the reasons they hate each other become the reasons that they don’t#they are having the fuck nastiest hate sex as we speak#it’s so delicious. i am fascinated by them#i have so many thoughts about them if i genuinely wasn’t shit at putting a story together i would be bombing their AO3 tag w fics#spreading the johnto agenda fo today#torchwood#johnto#john hart#ianto jones#john x ianto#my edit
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i know the hunger games isnt about romance i know it isnt a love story but. theres just something so beautiful in the way peeta is the personification of what it means to heal and he /is/ the dandelion and the bread and the hope that things can be better even if they wont be fixed. even if the nightmares dont stop he will still hold her. wake her up and tell her shes alive. shes safe. and when its over and done and theres no more saving or protecting or trying their absolute hardest to die if it means keeping the other alive, the horrors dont stop. but katniss will still find that comfort in peetas arms.
#and peeta Goes Through It too but hes there!!!!!!!! hes always there and hes kind and artistic and peaceful and good and everything that#the games could never destroy (the hijacking couldve but he found his way back. he still wonders whats real sometimes but he knows. he know#who he is. a painter a baker and a boy who loves. she reminds him of that love too)#anyways :( katniss longs for peetas arms and nobodys been this gentle with her since her father died and she stopped letting her mother#hold her. and peeta does#something about the way he holds her so so gently with so much love and care despite all the destruction and how peeta counteracts the fire#in katniss. the one that tells her she needs to protect and defend and prioritize keeping her family alive and keep her guard up. but hes#there to comfort her and hold her and protect her and those r all the things katniss doesnt get the privilege of thinking about because she#always thinking about who she needs to protect#its so personal to me. god i am Not okay rn#i have a rehearsal before school tmr and i am sooooo sleepy but. insane thoughts can never wait#everlark#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#peeniss#< the real ship name#the hunger games#thg#late night thoughts & all that jazz#🫀
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Every time I read Fernando cursing in fic, I can only think about this clip and then my brain short-circuits
#i have many feelings i shall not disclose about this clip#but i thought abt it again bcs in some fic i was reading it had fernando saying 'joder'#AND THIS CLIP JUST SHOT DIRECTLY INTO THE FOREFRONT OF MY BRAIN#fernando season 1 truly fed us so well#like seriously that show is a fernando fans wet dream theres just...so much...interesting...stuff...#i kept having to replay this clip bcs aaaahhhhhhhh my god.......the cursing...the low tone...the rolling Rs#wdym this clip is about being ahead in a race? all i can hear is sexy cursing and that it is brilliant :)#and nando himself listening back to the clip and just nodding confidently...I AM DEAD HE KILLED ME#(im not really used to reading Spanish J(too used to English J and German J) so the H sound doesnt really pop into my head immediately)#(so i could never really like visualize Spanish speaking charas saying words like joder in a sexy way)#(and then they showed that part in the show and my brain leaked out of my head)#*not actually strollonso but strollonso in my heart because this clip is how I visualize dom Fernando hehehe#i dont remember the ep i think it was either 4 or 5#i think itd be funny if it was 4 tho bcs i think that ep had the most insane clips and gave so much content#(that one had kitty fernando/carlando sr gay drama scene/nando getting railed(thematically)/etc)#fernando alonso#fernando(show)#fa14#formula 1#formula one#f1#we do a little bit of f1#fernando s1e5
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isat pokemon au, my liege?
my rambling in tags
#my art#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#pokemon#siffrin#mirabelle#isabeau#odile#bonnie#i am not individually tagging pokemon sorry. floragato eevee ursaring scorbunny meowstic <- for anyone who does not know them#im personally a big fan of when artists mold pokemon designs like clay to fit their characters so i tried to channel that#siffrin really does have the perfect mystery dungeon backstory. washes up on a beach with no memories of their past type of deal yknow#i imagine that he was still a sprigatito then? and evolves at some point during their journey? dont ask me for details i dont know them#veryy tempting to make him an absol but ive already seen that done very well!! so i kept most of these to floragato sif#mirabelle being an eevee is suuuch low hanging fruit sorry. i could not resist the evolving pokemon not wanting to evolve trope#i was concerned that sif was no longer shortest party member until i realized they just stand on their back legs all the time to feel talle#when quadruped like mira he is still shortest. sorry siffrin#isa gave me such a hard time. like i never thought i would turn a character into ursaring of all things but it really was the best choice#my other choices were bewear or pawmot if you care. he’s so bear coded#if going purely based on looks i probably would have made odile a sneasler. but i wanted her to be psychic#ill be honest bonnie was purely vibes. they carry the treasure bag :)#never draw bonnie's hat in profile worst mistake of my life#loop is still cat shaped here but i’ve seen the idea of them changing species thrown around. much to think about#i like the idea of the party seeing sif and loop side by side and immediately clocking their entire deal#the change god is mew btw. very important information to no one but myself#eurasie as hisuian zoroark?? lots of hair. and the king can be darkrai#don’t mind the inconsistencies. me and my 2781 ways of drawing the same character#wait what does an eevee look like again. googles it. oh i really crabbed this one up#uhh. looks around. been sitting on this one for a bit too long i think. maybe ill clean up some more sketches later
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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Just to clarify my thoughts (since I've had a number of people ask me about it) re: Job and cursing God. There's a big difference between cursing God as used in Scripture and how we generally would think of cursing at God today.
Cursing someone, in the Bible, has a lot of depth to it. It's not just saying "screw you " in anger, it's got a sense of forsakenness to it. It's the opposite of a blessing, a removal of blessing. If the blessing is presence, your face shining on the person you're blessing, then a curse is absence. In some translations, Job's wife tells him to "renounce God and die," which I honestly think makes a lot more sense to modern ears.
Job says a lot of unpleasant things to and about God in his anger and grief. So do the Psalmists. A number of the Prophets. So can we. God can take it if we come to him with honest expressions of our emotion, including those not-so-nice ones directed at him. I don't think there's anything wrong with getting mad at God and saying, "How dare you, you bastard" when you suffer unjustly. You can say much worse, I think, without sinning, though I don't feel particularly inclined to give examples. But as long as it's an honest expression of your heart, I think you're doing exactly what prayer is for. You're presenting him your heart with an open hand. He can use that. Opposite of love is not hate but indifference, etc.
Job doesn't renounce God. Neither should we. But I think when you're truly suffering, you're gonna have those feelings toward God either way. He'd rather you address them with him directly than try to avoid them. Cursing at God in the modern sense is actually a great way to keep the relationship strong and not end up cursing/renouncing him in the Biblical sense.
#i did try to draw that distinction in the original post but I didn't really go into detail#mostly bc i was trying to be concise and just focus on how the church talks to sufferers#so here's the long version#pontifications and creations#only thou art holy#also side note: there was someone yesterday who responded to that post with the suggestion that suffering is generally the sufferer's fault#and it got worse from there#just an absolutely rank response that had me immediately blocking that person and googling if there was a way to remove someone's addition#idk to what degree that person is an active member of this broader christian community we've got going on here#but if you see that post (and you'll know it when you see it) please as a favor to me don't interact with it#there were some lovely responses and additions to that post yesterday too#but that one made me mad#idk. to a certain degree i wanted to vent#they're blocked now though so whatever#anyway. I've sort of been percolating on these various thoughts for a few weeks#since i went to a really fluffy women's talk on suffering#and now i kind of want to give my version#I'm far from the greatest sufferer in the world. i am well aware of that#but as I've been sick I've just done So Much Thinking and reading about theodicy and struggle with God that i feel qualified to opine#unlike the giver of that talk#anyway#tag rant over#...for now#theodicy
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Finished themmm
Accidentally
I planned on going to bed early as a celebration, but then I looked at my unfinished pf of Siffrin in the sketchbook and boom couple of hours of sketching, lining and coloring and the beans are now officially paper figured
I can now randomly take photos of them in a forest whenever I feel like it. I have couple pfs on me every day just in case of this happening
#fanart#my art#paper figures#isat#isat siffrin#isat loop#siffrin#loop#in stars and time#Are you ready for me to break it to you? No?#That scene on the laptop? A screenshot#It is a recent one tho#I replayed that hangout just before finishing act 3 for the achievement that required act 4#But I did pretty much play like that#God just thinking about my first playthrough try on this fills me with anxiety#I was so scared it would be the only time they get to talk before actually playing through the game normally#Preparing for bed found me two coins I guess those two really are coin magnets#I actually did Siffrin's hat at least at line-color but I'm still figuring out how to get them to wear it#I THINK I have an idea tho#But anyway#it's 3:30 am#They're also so tiny#Like I worried they'd be too big so now they're pretty average-small next to my last ones#Drawing pf of Loop was actually a really random idea and getting them to mirror Siffrin's pose wasn't hard to think of#I don't usually draw characters facing the other way tho it was weird#The funniest thing was me forgetting Siffrin's eyepatch until the very end while being perfectly aware of making Loop's eyes different colo#That moment of realization was funny just as much as terrifying
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