#god brain please stop
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The working summary of the upcoming Paper Flower Extra which has become much, MUCH larger than I originally anticipated.
And I'm juggling the HuaLian Idol!AU, and WangXian A Matter of Time Part 6.
My brain.
Needs to stop.
Braining.
#paper flowers for the god of gods#hualian#fanfic#paper flower extras#hua cheng#xie lian#character study#god brain please stop#do simpler plots
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On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.
Bonus:
#a homestuck walks into an antechamber and asks#hey is anybody going to make this dynamic wholly deterministic and thus dubiously consensual by its very nature#ANYWAY bigger ramble below. scroll down like usual#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#THATS RIGHT WE'RE STILL SHIP TAGGING IT BABYYYY#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#RAMBLE START: anyway i think loop is wrong here. they have it backwards. as-- in my opinion--#the main reason they could be called back into existence postcanon is because *their* wish for help is still not complete#they still need help. siffrin still needs help. neither of them will ever stop needing help.#they will thus uphold the wish until the end of siffrin's natural lifespan.#that said. what does it mean that loop can be so wholly forced to abide by siffrin's wants?#(assuming the dagger cutscene posession is them being forced to uphold the 'help siffrin' wish via harsh universe logic)#[as opposed to something capricious and cruel the change god did. which feels out of character for the change god to me?]#much like how the island wish and duplicate objects are neutered by simply sliding off people's brains...#is loop subtly ushered toward their wish? obviously it's not a full override (see: the bossfight). but is there any interference?#and if so. so what? does it matter? if they don't notice? is it even real if they don't notice?#and even if they do notice. the universe leads we follow. how much do either of them value their free will in a belief system like that?#the whole game is dedicated to siffrin habitually NOT excersizing his free will. doing things the same Every Time.#Loop ESPECIALLY does this. predetermined predetermined predetermined even in the FACE OF CHANGE. REFUSING. ANY CHOICE.#Maybe they'd even be comforted by having a universe-ordained purpose even if it is subservient. even if its to Him.#(though. i can't see siffrin enjoying the idea that someone is subservient TO them... then all their suffering is his fault...)#loop got into this mess via WANTING too much. no more free will. can't be trusted with it. take it away from them.#but yeah. gets my greasy detective pony hands all over this. and everyone please do remember i like to make characters Outright Wrong A Lot
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#tsom#whistlecone#the sound of music#captain von trapp#georg von trapp#maria von trapp#georg x maria#captain and the governess#pinecone/whistle#my art#please don't repost#chewing on them like squeaky toys#listen. i have a problem#and my problem is christopher plummer and julie andrews#spinning them like rotisserie chickens in my brain#i am going mental#what am i gonna do oh my god#they need to fucking stop#“you don't look like a captain” “you don't look like a nun” hmmmm okay can we calm down#what if i drew them kissing what then
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some death mark sketches! somehow I missed the death mark 2 announcement trailer entirely??? belatedly, I’m excited to see that daimon will be showing up in dm2 🥳
#death mark#I am too tired to fight autocorrect on their names right now so I will add those tags in the morning#stop…..changing daimon to daikon…please………..#anyway. he’s my favorite guy. I want to feed him. soup.#I feel like this character was made to push every button in my brain like oh my god hello#kazuo yashiki#shuuji daimon#daimon shuuji#yashiki kazuo#spirit hunter death mark
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I was spinning the TFO Characters around in my head and this happened. I am an enjoyer of "TFO Bee is older than OP and Elita and D" so I went a little nutso about it. I really hope this makes an ounce of sense bc this was very stream of conscious.
Optimus is digging though some ex-miners data files. Partially to ensure everything is updated but mostly to see if Sentinel did anything else to them... aaaaaand OP just wants to snoop a bit; sue him. "Huh, I wonder if I can find B's file," OP thought. And he could, because he dug through nearly every cabinet twice before he found it. Bee must have pissed Sentinel off something fierce bc he buried his file in with the old bot's so no one could find it. Surrounded by haphazard piles of data pads, Optimus gets comfy and starts snooping.
Bee has a very long list of infractions: 30 counts of talking back to superiors (D would hate him for that), 158 counts of ignoring protocol (Elita would have his head on a pike), 29 counts of breaking and entering (A bot after OP's own spark), 8 counts of theft (damn), 2 counts of arson (Damn), 4 counts for participating in a riot (DAmn), 2 counts of assaulting a superior (DAMN), 1 count for conspiracy against the government (HUH?), 1 count for bot-slaughter ((⊙_⊙)). How did OP not hear about any of this, this sounds like something every miner would know about? A miner assaulting a superior? The rumour mill would have had a field day with that alone. OP moves on to Bee's assignments, maybe there's a reason this news never got to OP's mining sector. Damn, that's a lot of sectors: 3, 7, 10, 11, 14, 19, 23, 26, 27, 30, 35- wait, that was OP's sector, when was Bee there? OP doesn't remember any yellow bots running around committing arson? Field medic, tool repair, tool fabrication, Prototype jetpack testing- Testing? Those things were older than OP; why would Bee be testing them? It doesn't even mention his assignment to sub level 50!! The questions continue to gather as OP reads on, confusing him more and more.
Elita interrupts his confused scrolling by walking into the room to tell OP something. OP ignores her words and franticly shoves Bee's file in her face. Elita is older than OP (Not by much), maybe she knows something about Bee. She doesn't, and now both of them are confused. Was there another guy named B-127 in the past? Was current Bee a clone? Wtf is going on?? The two of them begin going down a rabbit hole. They dig through every wayward file they can find. They get so desperate that, during a skirmish with the Decepticons, they ask Megatron if he knows anything. They get a data pad with Bee's info and glue a magnet to the back. During the fight, OP gets into a one on one with Meggy and slaps the datapad onto his back before the cons retreat. Yes this is the dumbest thing they've ever done, hopefully Meg doesn't ignore them. Also what did you want to tell me before, I completely forgot to ask-
Megatron is ignoring the datapad that OP stuck to his back. It's been stuck to the wall of his room since he threw it there. He glares at it a lot. Eventually, he gets curious and reads it, maybe OP apologized for being a backstabbing bitch. He did not; it's a copy of B-127's personal file with a lot of question marks and circles drawn on everything. Meg gives it a read, curious about his frie-EX Friend. He's taken aback by how long the infraction list is (conspiracy against the government? Bot-Slaughter? Sounds like Meg's kinda bot) and how extensive OP's notes are. He taps at the screen a few times before turning the pad off and stowing it in his subspace.
During their next fight, Megatron returns the data pad by shoving the magnet against Optimus's face.
After returning, Optimus turns on the data pad. There are three things added by Megatron. 1: A circle around a line of fine print at the end of the Assignments tab, "Permanently reassigned to Waste Management on Sub-level 50." Optimus's own frantic writing is just above it "SUB-LEVEL 50????" (that is the smuggest circle known to Cybertron). 2: A sentence next to Bee's medical records "What is his listed Spark Date?" and 3: A sentence at the top of the first page, "Have you asked B-127 about this?"
OP and Elita did not ask Bee about any of this. The thought never crossed their minds. Bee even helped them sort through old data pads! They feel incredibly stupid. Elita is too proud to go and ask so OP slips it into his and Bee's next one-on-one convo.
OP: Hey Bee, I found your data file in the Miner records.
B: Oh cool! Let me see, I want to see what's on it.
OP: *gives data pad*
B: Oh wow, this thing is long. They really wrote down everything- Oh, I've got a funny story about sector 23, there was this bot I knew, cool guy you would like him, and he had this thing-
OP: Actually, Bee... can I ask you a few questions? About your file?
B: Shoot, big guy.
OP: ...Arson? Assault? Conspiracy?
B: What about that?
OP: They're in your file, it says you've done them.
B: Oh yeah, no, I've done them. I mean, who hasn't? Wait, is it bad that I've worked against the government now that I'm a government employee?
OP: So you've actually done all this??
B: Yeah, why? I thought you guys knew this stuff.
OP: What?
Bee then explains how he was apart of a rebel organization that wanted better lives for the cogless. He had joined pretty early on and was pretty good at talking loud enough without a loudspeaker that he became the face of the org. Things were going pretty well; bots were listening, and changes were getting implemented, all that good stuff. Sure there were a few riots but you can't make a space omelette without breaking a few space eggs (tf is a space egg...). Eventually, Sentinel got sick of them so he ordered them to be rounded up and thrown in jail. Bee was the first to get caught, but he didn't snitch on the rest of his group, so he was sent down to Sub-level 50. Never heard what happened to everyone else after that.
Optimus hears all this and immediately drags Bee to the file room to find more info. It takes a hot minute but they find the record of the org Bee was a part of. It got dissolved before OP was sparked. Flabbergasted, OP asks Bee when he got sparked.
B: *Holding pad with poster of Bee's face* Oh, this brings back memories. I actually knew the bot who made these. I wonder if she's still doing these...
OP: Bee, how old are you, exactly. When did you get sparked?
B: uhhh, let me get back to you on that one.
OP: Bee, you got put in Sub-level 50 before I was born, how old are you?
B: I'm gonna be real, I do not know how long I was down there. Time kinda blurs after a while. Ho-How old are you?
OP: 16 cycles.
B: I was down there for over 16 cycles?? Primus below, is anyone still alive? Oh, right, age. uuuuuuhhhh, 48? Cycles? I think? Around there. Hey, did you see any files for a bot named Knockout? I would like to see it for no personal reasons whatsoever-
OP: Bee you were sparked right after the primes died wtF-
Chaos ensues. OP comms Elita and she immediately stops whatever she was doing to join the two in the file room. OP is freaking out bc he thought Bee was around his age, what do you mean you're actually double my age. You should be running the government, not me, I'M A BABY COMPARED TO YOU. Elita is pacing around trying to make sense of Bee's past, what do you mean you were the face of an organization, what do you mean you successfully implemented the miners right to clean energon, what do yoU MEAN. Bee is ignoring both of them and franticly looking for his friends' files, hoping at least a few of them are still alive. Or just one, specifically a red one that was a field medic oh please let him still be around at least-
Eventually everyone calms down and they talk about it. Optimus and Elita get to learn about the other time the miners tried to rise up and get better treatment. Gotta love a impromptu history lesson. Bee's best guess as to why the org was wiped from history was bc Sentinel didn't want any other miners getting any ideas and doing it again. They figure out Bee was actually down in Sub-level 50 for about 20 cycles, give or take, which spurs an actual search for anyone he knew before (B: pls pls pls pls pls living bf pls pls pls pls). Primus must have been smiling up at them because they do find several bots Bee knew from before. Good time is had all around. Reunions and meet ups, parties and get togethers, everything a bunch of old bots do after not seeing each other for a long time. They get to reminisce on all the old crimes they committed together (OP and E1 are v concerned bc is this normal? Are we going to turn into this?) They have a lot of shit to catch up on and everything is pretty great actually.
During their next fight, Megatron gets another data pad stuck onto his back. When he turns it on, the only thing on it is a selfie Bee took at his Spark day party, with the "Happy 49th Spark Day!" sign in the background. The photo's caption says, "(Yes, It's correct) Miss you lots! Hope you're less of an angry glitch the next time I see you!"
If anyone wants to take this idea and do it better, please do, I am not very good at this. Proper formatting is not my specialty.
#personal stuff#macaddam#bumblebee#tf bumblebee#tfo bumblebee#b 127#macadam#transformers one#orion pax#elita one#tf1#tf one megatron#tf one#d 16#tf one orion pax#tf one optimus#maccadams#maccadam#yes I added knockout to tfone what of it#you cant stop me#hashtag bring back knockout hashtag please hashtag i beg of thee hashtag I miss him please#no i didn't hint at kobb what are you talking about#it just came like that I didn't add anything don't look at my reblogs#I do not think I can write Bee and Meg being normal about each other to save my life#ik they're barely in this but still#god I need to finish editing that post so people understand my brain rot#transformers
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it doesnt need to be said but its genuinely so funny how at-the-hip charles and erik are in krakoa like they really had the green light- the OBLIGATION- to be as obnoxiously close to each other as possible and abused that right to the fullest extent
#xmen#xmen comic#krakoa#cherik#snap chats#until the divorce of course but until then its actually so funny#how you really couldnt go a page or two without one or the other and the other one was close behind#ice climber ass duo over here. the delightful children from down the lane kind of proximity what the fuck was their PROBLEM#i feel like if one of them was teleported the other would just materialize right next to them thats how close they were#fuuuck what was the issue where sabretooth and co are in like. Brain Prison or something#and victor imagines charles but everyones like 'wait its weird if its just him where's magneto'#ITS SO FUCKING FUNNY and i NEED to know what issue that was .... to add it to my collection ....#also killed me how in immoral x-men issue 1 charles was yappin bout erik bein gone#and- God Bless Who i forget i think it was hope- was just 'can you please shut up about your dead boyfriend im begging you'#moira stronger than me if i had to deal with thing 1 and thing 2 on a daily basis i woulda snapped sooner frankly#ig when you live ten times through The Most Bullshit ever youre numb to most things but still. my god theyre so obnoxious#sorry im cackling at the bit in HoX where charles is about to announce krakoa to the world and erik's putting his hand on his shoulder#and you justs see moira in the back like dawgggg right in front of her .... can you two get a room#GENUINELY no im GENUINELY surprised they dont share a bedroom#im not even talking sharing a bed im taking my shipper goggles off im actually baffled they dont sleep in the same building#obvi id be lyin if i said i didnt love it tho To Be Real .. genuinely love seein them work together as a team .. until they werent </3#in every timeline they WILL divorce each other that's just the rule. actual canon event it cannot be changed or stopped its integral#ok ramble over. but not really not in spirit cause ill never be over this ill die before i am#im gonna go eat now i think i think thats something i As A Human has to do at least once a day
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'Cause baby you were born this way 🌟
Have a shitty day so I finished this MESS to cheer myself up ✊🤧
If you have a suggestion (quick sketch) you can tell me, I don't bite (usually)
P.S. If you watched SU you are my people 💜
My OP Fanart Masterlist here
#I'm too slow to draw but please accept this#sanji and pearl would have a long conversation#imagine Luffy as Steven#stop bringing more ideas brain I can't barely keep with the others 😫#sanuso week is every week baby#sanuso#usosan#sanji x usopp#black leg sanji#sanji#usopp#god usopp#usopp fanart#op fanart#one piece#jul's art
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a modern prometheus.
#frankenstein#victor frankenstein#oof my art I guess#HELLO HI I COME BEARING CLASSIC LIT FANART#so fuckin proud of this one i can’t even lie#this took me like seven hours truly one of the most intensive pieces I’ve ever done#I love a silly lil mad scientist twink#victor my king please stop messing with forces beyond ur understanding ur gonna give them daddy issues ://#I’m so crazy about this book#truly rotating in my brain 24/7#the art gods possessed me for this one I think idk if I could do that again#but I sure as hell will try#I wanna draw Henry clerval so bad so maybe expect that in the future???#what I post next is an enigma to everyone including me#anyways if anyone needs me I’ll be thinking abt the Themes
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Wow you’ve really blown up haven’t you? A pretty skinny slip of a girl, grown into a sweaty ball of lard by her own gluttony and lust, by her own admission too lazy to bother leaving the house most days. And you want to get *fatter*? Darling, haven’t you embarrassed yourself enough…?
Melting🥵
Need more, I'm fueled by my deep desire to grow so much fatter. Such a soft, heavy body to show off. Turned on an teased constantly
#gods please#you can't be mean enough to me#my brain is so cooked for teasing#actually couldn't stop touching myself replying to this#asks
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I would love to understand why my brain and body are desperate to not shower in the safety of my own home but perked up at the offer to go shower at the gym that’s full of people I don’t know and men who could pin me and locker rooms with open doorways and less control over cleanliness than I can get in my own apartment. Something something the years of swim practice and swim meet locker room showers being safe I guess?
#I’ll allow it#I’ll even encourage it if it can help me get over 6 miles walked per day again#but can I please fucking shower? I feel so gross#I have never in my life had as hard a time showering or bathing as I have this year and it’s been killing my self esteem#I feel like everyone knows I’m gross and I KNOW I need to shower#it’s important#and I don’t want my hair greasy or anything#but I go out of my way to avoid it except for an occasional hair wash or body shower when I need to go to an event#and it’s driving me CRAZY#cleanliness is really really next to godliness in my family and also I know everyone in the world views hygiene as a moral issue#and I CAN SHOWER I did it for YEARS I even did it daily for years I used to be SO good at always always doing at least the minimum#even if sleep deprived or sick#but now it’s like I’m stuck SCREAMING and slamming my palms bloody in a containment cell somewhere in the center of my concept of a body#BEGGING to just stop being so gross and to do a daily face routine and use lotion and keep my teeth healthy and keep my hair clean#and it doesn’t even matter#I’m so ashamed all the time#but my brain doesn’t give a shit about it anymore#it views the endless shame as a lesser evil and god I hope I figure out how to get that stopped#I don’t even get triggered in the shower!!! I don’t know what’s wrong! my brain just does everything it can#to keep me from undressing and showering#no matter how much I hate it#and this is so tmi sorry oh god#I’ll probably delete this later#but#shh katie#add to journal#is it the dissociation? is it the adhd? is it the ptsd?#FINALLY my POTS symptoms chill out for the winter and now THIS?
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Imagine if you will... Ray with a tongue piercing ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ 💭
A more "messy" version under the cut bc I wanted to practice tears and stuff.. 👀
#Ok I may have put way more effort into this than I should've but I literally couodnt stop thinking about this#I used this as an excuse to practice rendering so technically its productive ( ꈍᴗꈍ)#I really enjoy drawing tears and idk what that says about me as a person#I just love the idea that hes just talkin away and suddenly you see a little glint in his mouth and oh my god is that what i think it is?#and hes such a bottom that he would just let you open and pkay with his mouth to see for yourself#he's just my lil sopping wet meow meow I can't help but put him thru situations#I think often about his different sides clashing and being very gap moe#like Ray with a tongue piercing? please someone hold me back bc I'm going AT HIM#I want EVERY version of this man I cannot even explain how deeply the brain rot goes#the day I stop thinking about Saeran Choi is the day I drop dead actually#I wont fill the tags with any more salacious comments about how sl\/tty this man is but just know the thoughts are plentiful#anyways enjoy the food#more art to come as I'm getting back into my artistic groove lately#my art#mystic messenger#mysme#saeran choi#mysme saeran#mysme ray#mystic messenger unknown#unknown mysme#ray mystic messenger#mystic messenger fanart#mystic messenger mc#mysme mc
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All I can think about is getting told "I know love" in that soft pitying voice while I whine into their neck. Having been played with for so long that I'm almost completely melted, wanting to be good for them but needing more. Too broken to speak, hoping they'll understand how desperate I am even if I can't beg for them properly.
Combine that with "it's okay, let me take care of you" or "just a little bit longer for me my darling?" and the remainder of my thoughts will disappear from my head
#i know love#little fuck toy brain#honestly#hearing them say earlier#eventhough it was in a completely sfw serting#just broke me completely#they called sub space recently and god that was an experience too#amongst other things#god they're so hot#need to stop zoning out when watching them just bc they said something that makes me brain dead#loosing my sanity every time i interact with them#hhh please fuck me already my love#queer nsft#lgbt nsft#nblw nsft#nsft#lesbian nsft#sapphic nsft#wlw nsft#nsft wlw#wlw ns/fw
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ELMER FUCKING WALTER WILLIAMS WHEN I FUCKING CATCH YOU I WILL CRUSH YOUR FUCKING BONES INTO FUCKING GLUE YOU LONG FACED PIECE OF SHIT
#watcher#watcher entertainment#puppet history#sunny.txt#HES TRYING TO DRUG UP THE PROFESSOR AND RYAN SO THEY DONT STOP ELMER#HES TRYING TO POISON THEIR BRAINS SO THAT THEY FORGET#HE IS TRYING TO MAKE THEM ADDICTED TO THOSE FUCKING FORGET-IT-ALL PILLS SO THAT THEY WILL LITERALLY FORGET IT ALL#DINOSIR DINOSARA NOOOOOOOO#ON MY HANDS AND KNEES SHANE MADEJ PLEASE. PLEASE I SWEAR TO GOD LET THIS SEASON HAVE A HAPPY ENDING WHERE THE PUPPETS ARE SAVED AND ELMER#GETS TURNED INTO GLUE
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gonna keep making this post forever i guess because it just keeps getting wilder the more time passes and my brain forgets the immediate sensations/experience but i can't believe i got SURGERY. CRAZY. Not even this specific surgery but the fact that I got any surgery at all!!! SO WILD
#LIKE. in the way of me having the courage to get it done - the actual physical taking of my body to the hospital to do it - and#the fact that that's something that could even be done with today's medicine. like that's insane its so crazy. i got surgery.#like it wasnt a big deal at all it was short and easy#but its still wild ykwim. insane. and i didnt even freak out either. calmest ive ever been.#only time ive ever been able to actually fall asleep before a Big Event#talkys#i keep looking at my scars and forgetting and remembering like holy shiiiiit i was in the hospital i was in the surgery room i was in the#recovery room. ME. me and my brain and my body all of us. only us. crazy#<- going to stop here before i start spiraling from further train of thought on the matter#how many ppl in history must have wanted dis for themselves but been unable. i am so grateful i love my vessel now#i hope i get to like it more.... please god let me be able to move out soon#i also said this the last time i made this post but i cant wait to experience more things....#so be it life is still beautiful
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i did the result of the poll here you go
before you ask- please go listen to Nowhere Man by the Beatles it fits them both SO MUCH LIKE OMG
also do you think John would feel like a nobody when Sherlock just fucking dissapears without him, knowing he treats everyone around him like that. When he doesn't respect him, and almost invalidates his trauma becuase he's fucking bored
anyways uh
this
he's a real nowhere man
sitting in his nowhere land
#sherlock holmes#john watson#my art#johnlock#bbc sherlock#johnlock bbc#ahaha it really isn't but lmao i can't draw two people giving eachother affection#tjlc#doodles#sketch#it stopped being a conspiracy after the first episode i swear to god these idiots#nowhere man#fine i'll something softer#you convinced me voice in my brain#i can feel my depression sink in again#shaking these idiots around trying to get a drop of dopamine#pLEASE
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Fresh's Theme: YOO I'LL TELL U WUT I WANT SO TELL ME WH Swap: FML
art source comes from here, fic made by @gaylordscooter
[IMAGE ID: A digital drawing of Swap Sans, visibly tense and hiding behind a broken wall. The wall is an almost-grey blue, the background is a slightly bluer and darker grey, Blue's background color is blue, and Swap's outlines are a paler version of his background. Behind the wall are rainbow all-capitilized words that switch color each line break. The words read "YOO I'LL TELL U WUT I WANT SO TELL ME WH", the words a reference to the beginning lyrics in Wannabe by Spice Girls. The rainbow words are cut off by the bottom of the broken wall. Swap's thought bubble background is his outline colour, while his speech bubble font color is colored in his background color. His thought bubble just reads "FML" in all caps. END ID]
#utmv#swap sans#fresh sans#i hate you btw i've been unable to listen to anything but wannabe for days since reading that fic#i couldn't get this idea out of my brain#it gnawed at me like a creature#i couldn't rest until i drew this#the chorus of wannabe is still stuck in my head#i switched my song to wannabe while writing these tags#this song lives rest free in my head please help#all of your fics live in my head but this song is haunting me#why is your characterization of Fresh so good he's also living in my head please make him pay rent#also i want to eat ALL of your fics and your art and all your character concepts and designs#your art is so good#your headcanons are so good i've stolen like at least 3#and your 'nightmare is young' concept has also eaten like half of my brain by now so also i demand financial compensation#i can't stop thinking about the things you create oh my fucking god
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