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#like it wasnt a big deal at all it was short and easy
skunkes · 26 days
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gonna keep making this post forever i guess because it just keeps getting wilder the more time passes and my brain forgets the immediate sensations/experience but i can't believe i got SURGERY. CRAZY. Not even this specific surgery but the fact that I got any surgery at all!!! SO WILD
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sereniv · 4 months
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apologies are hard and can be embarassing
but life is too short to let your grandma go to bed sad
#it wasnt a big bad deal#but i didnt listen and projected my guilt#i wanted to be angry and annoyed#but whats the point#is it really that important to feel right when youre actually wrong#to feel mighty bc youre less emotional than another person#its hard to swallow that pride and to admit you were wrong#but you never know if this moment is the last with that person#and putting in that perspective it makes it easy to say youre sorry#i sometimes forget this#something i learned very young after fighting with my mom and upon reflection realized i was wrong the whole time#ive always had this ability since then to swallow my pride almost immediately and jump straight to fixing what i did wrong#but then long story short i lost that ability when i learned the word 'no' for myself#i stopped paying attention and focused on only me#and sometimes i forget that this is not who i want to be. i forget to work on myself#im glad that i made myself apologize and im glad that i made sure i didnt apologize weakly#none of that 'im sorry you feel that way'#but id like to work on avoiding this all together. and thats hard for me. because it requires me to be aware like i used to#which for me is PTSD related. but i dont want to be on my deathbed recalling all the pointless times i doubled down#taking up time that could have been happy#people say its easy to be kind and it is but sometimes when youre guilty it feels good to give into your frustrations and get defensive#again nothing bad happened. i just told her i wanted to do the dishes. she was currently washing some and because of guilt#of my perception of what shes able to do i doubled down on me doing them instead of her even though she assured me she was able#i thought she was lying to me and she got upset. no yelling just not allowing her to do what little shes able#and not trusting her at her word. to be fair she does lie and will admit that she has- when doing things when i feel sick#even when i tell her that id rather choose what im able to do instead of her assuming. which is exactly what i did#me being a hypocrit. so yeah. not a great feeling on multiple levels of this scenario#but truly i need to remember to focus on what matters and that is just taking someones word for it while making sure they know they can#freely tell their feelings. meaning if shes doing the dishes and she says shes fine. let it be. and make sure she absolutely knows that when#i say im fine that i too am telling the truth
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http-finnick · 2 years
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𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫.
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finnick odair x fem!reader
summary: he said he'd be better, that he'd stop going to her for help and turn to his wife, but you stopped believing his lies a long time ago.
cw: emotional cheating
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"you don't understand"
"tell me! make me understand!" your throat hurt, your eyes burn as you scream at him. completely done with grief passing and acceptance ready to take its position
you just can't anymore.
not with him. not with anyone.
"just give me time" "10 years! I gave you 10 fucking years how many more do you want!"
"why can't you work with me?" he yelled, slamming his fist into the island table that separates you.
.
being a wife to a victor isn't always easy.
it might seem like a comfortable life.
but it's anything but that.
you were childhood friends, lifelong buddies. when he got reaped it broke you but you still were there for him. always hearing him out, never pushing him when it wasn't needed, you were always there for him.
when she got reaped the next year and won, finnick went to you with relief and dread all over
"she could've died." "that would've been on me"
"all of those tributes are on me"
he wept and wept and you carried him, hugging him so tightly he'd turn blue.
he never really talked about his games. even when you started dating at 16 he'd always keep it short.
you knew it was bad that he hid his feelings but when you tried to help it ended up in a fight and him running off
you'd find him drunk the next day.
but soon he'd come back sober, better, healed.
you had no idea what 360 happened to him, but you were grateful
when you asked him about it he shrugged and mumbled he was talking to someone
finally, he's getting help.
once you found out it wasn't a shrink but a girl, Annie to be exact. you weren't mad, more curious
you asked him why you found out that it was her through town gossip and not his lips, but a shrug was all you got.
"I don't see the big deal here"
your lover was gone. now just some housemate instead of our husband.
you cried in the shower and put a smile on through the rest of your days.
soon it wasn't the games he kept from you and told her, it was everything
even asking what he ate for breakfast was a simple "nothing"
you couldn't stop your sobs that into the pillow, your shaking frame and chokes of breaths that got caught in your throat must've irked him enough to wrap his arms around you
you realized thats the most contact you've had with him in months. he mumbled sorry and promised to be better.
but he wasnt.
years passed and he was not not telling you things, it's just he'd lie about them
you saw him eat toast this morning, so simple, so why'd he say eggs? you saw him pick up roses, came home empty-handed, he said they were for his mother's grave. but her grave was flowerless the next day.
theses little things made the words affair scream in your head, and now you're here, and you've snapped.
.
"finnick. i've been trying to work with you, give you time, help you, for fucking years" you said, voice shaking but calm as tears roll down your cheek
"i've been dying" you added
"you haven't touched me in years, I feel like a failure and all you want is fucking her so go!" you screamed at the end, staring at him straight in his eyes as he looked at you with guilt layered with surprise
"I don't know what you want from me" he shakes his head and your hand slams down on the counter to make sure you aren't hallucinating this bullshit
"the bare fucking minimum! you're supposed to go to me when you feel like you can't go anywhere! you're supposed to go to me when you need someone or just want to be around anyone! you can't even do that so why did you marry me?" you're left in silence as he stares at the floor
"I can't talk to you about this stuff, you wouldn't get it. you didn't go through what I wen-"
"I wish I did. I wish I was reaped so you didn't become this sad mess of a person. finnick, I'm sick of hearing this because you say she's helping you but you're still the same 14-year-old left in the arena." you cry out, he looks up at you with tears swirling in his eyes, jaw clenched as he processes your words
"I'm better, I'm getting better"
"no. no you're not. you'd be better with a real therapist, not someone just as broken as you."
he grips the table and his teeth sink down into his lips, you see the blood pool but you also see the realization in his eyes
"you need help finnick, and I hope you find it." and with that, you grab your coat and head for the door
"s-so what? you're gonna leave me like this? at my worst?" he chokes on his tears, pleading eyes staring at your frame
"you've always been at your worst." you shrug with the last of your tears falling to the floor and walk out into the cloudy air that welcomes you to a new life.
one that you'll be free.
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an: hey guys :) I know some of you might disagree with y/n here but it's okay lmao. I really wanted to write angst for nonvictor!y/n x finnick because I feel for her that he went through all of that and she's just there. and having him go to another woman who doesn't help him but just drives him away from real help and his wife, ooo just angsty angsty angstyyyy! also, i really like the name for this one because it goes both ways. y/n will never be better than annie in his eyes and he is never gonna be 100% okay again. anyway, I love you guys so much!
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sun-stricken · 1 year
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Headcannons about sick!gray? Mine is that ice mages get sick really easily but he’s just great at hiding it until Lyon mentions it or something and suddenly the guild freaks out at a sniffle
Also don’t know if it’s any interest to you, but sometimes when I’m making fiction in my head I imagine gray is actually sick. Like when he does wear clothes they’re always tight around the middle, right? So what if being under all the rubble did something to his lungs/chest and so he needs the support sometimes
edit from like two hours after i responded, you asked me for my personal headcanons, but all i did was play on yours, so sorry 🙁
omg tysm for the ask, i love this
i agree that ice mages get sick easier than other mages, but also any mage whos magic effects their temperature fluctuation, (i might make a full post abt that later)
also i am dramatic and love to ramble, sorry if its too long!!
Gray is good at handling things himself, hes been taking care of himself for over a decade, itd be weird if he wasn’t
He takes care of others, looks after his guild-mates, maybe to pay off some sort of debt, or maybe because they dont take care of themselves (what a hypocrite)
he takes care of them, he doesn’t expect them to take on roles for him, didn’t expect them to take care of him; he did perfectly fine on his own, thank you very much
-Fairy Tail disagrees-
The moment Lyon started telling them horror stories about how often and how intense Gray got sick while learning magic, all hell broke loose, specifically, his team broke loose
Erza started grilling Lyon, how did he get sick, how often on average, why is it so easy, how did they help him as a kid, what do you mean he couldnt breathe? HISBODYCOULDNTWHAT???
(it felt all too familiar to a criminal interrogation)
Lucy fretted over Gray, eyes panicking trying to search for an illness that wasnt yet there, asking if he felt ill now, does he need water? should he sit down? why is he so red?
(why does she look so scared?)
Happy all but launched himself into Grays chest, crying about why he didnt tell them and other nonsensicals he could fully make out
Wendy popping in to say that while she cant heal illnesses she can help him any way she can, and maybe she cried just a little abt how she couldn’t help him fully
(a kid shouldnt be so stressed about not being able to help fix a problem that they didn’t make)
Natsu, now Natsu was pissed. Hes no stranger to being reckless and he knows it, but this wasn’t him, this was Gray; Gray who had always helped him through sicknesses and injuries, some of which the guild didnt even know of. why didnt he trust them to help him? why didnt he ever tell them anything? why didnt he figure it out?
it hurt. it really did.
(why isnt he trying to fight him? why isnt he yelling?
Gray stood there, red in the face and truly embarrassed, he didnt think it was that big of a deal and here they were, here was his guild, his family. vowing to take care of him from here on out.
He doesnt think hes ever felt so embarrassed, and guilty, and so loved all at once
also a foreboding, hes not sure why though
as it turns out, he was right to be cautious
days later he had a cold, a measly cold, he sniffled maybe once or twice, and he might’ve stumbled just a little, and all of a suddenly he was next to the guild fireplace, covered in too many blankets, a thermos in hand, and people constantly insisting on getting him things
he knew he shouldn’t have come today
although, they had every right to be worried, as it very quickly turned into pneumonia. lucky him
He was taken to the guild infirmary, his team right there with him
even through the chills, the too short and too fast breathing, the obnoxious heat in his whole body, and the ever so slight delirium creeping into his thoughts
he felt the hand atop his, felt the heavy weight of sharp eyes that miss nothing on him;
he felt the purring mini oven tucked into his side;
he felt a hand usually covered in armor carding through his hair, wiping the sweat from his forehead with a cool cloth;
he felt the way a trembling hand gripped his no longer free hand, felt the telltale sign of whisperers against his fingers;
he felt the minuscule vibrations of scrambling around him, heard the clinking of glass bottles no doubt full of remedies
he felt, loved.
THID IS SO LONG IM SORRY BUT IM SO OVERDRAMATIC AND LOVE TO RAMBLE
NOW FOR THE SECOND PART THAT I LOVE SO MUCH!
being under that collapsed building fucking with his lungs and ribs isnt something i ever thought of!
thats genius, i love it
im just imagining permanent damage to his lungs, not being able to use them to their full capacity, and maybe chronic pain in his ribcage area and sharp pains when he tries to draw in deep breaths
i think Makarov obvs knew this (maybe he makes everyone has full check ups yearly or every couple years, but also everytime someone joins the guild)
he warned Gray against overexerting himself because it could be especially dangerous for him
he was prescribed an inhaler and medication for his breathing and pain
but this was and is a boy full of too much pride and guilt, maybe he thinks he deserves it, maybe just doesnt care what happens to him, maybe he simply doesnt know his limits; but for whatever reason he doesnt listen, doesnt use his support unless it is absolutely unbearable
of course it gets better over the years, but that didnt start willingly, the guild found out, maybe Gray let it slip, maybe Jii-Chan did, or maybe they heard him scolding Gray for overdoing it again
but they found out and would check up on him, give him advice from some of their experience with their own disabilities
Ive hced for a while that Gildarts was particularly fatherly (or like, a protective uncle…ly?) with the kids of Fairy Tail, so i think he wouldve been the one to get him this pressure support thing for his ribs
it worked, and so does heating pads/packs, which lead to the next development
and after Gray joined up with his team and got closer, he would make Natsu be his own personal heat pack bc that is such a sweet and silly image to me
Natsu surprisingly complained minimally
i wonder why? :)
more little sick things
Gray doesnt get hungover, probably the only illness he gets lucky on
he gets really talkative and delirious when hes sick, and clingy
he’ll ramble abt random things he has to do, not realizing he cant for obvious reasons
he’ll talk about life before Ur, about his siblings who never had the chance to live; about ppl who left Isvan before Deloria came, wondering if theyre alive and actually living, if they remember him
whoever’s with him does him the courtesy of not bringing it up when hes better
Lucy gets really scared when people are sick, it makes her think of watching her mom deteriorate, she refuses to go through that again
She spoke to Natsu and Erza about this while Gray was sick once, broke down and said she wad terrified of losing someone she loves to a stupid sickness again
Gray will cling to the person closest to him when he’s ill, holding their hand, leaning on them, just not letting them leave; he finally is letting himself be taken care of and it feels good, he’ll be damned if he lets that go again
Natsu was so angry when Lyon told them, he was so angry and so scared that even with his heightened senses he didnt know anything at all
If hes with Gray when hes sick, he rarely takes his eyes off the uneven rise and fall of his best friends chest, as to reassure himself that Gray was still breathing, that he was still here and didn’t disappear
Gray will get up and try to get things done when hes sick, he is not the type to sit down and rest and recover
he had to be physically hauled back to bed on multiple occasions
Erza is lost when people are sick, ever the leader though, she tried to take the lead, giving people jobs and trying to make sure everything is order
it ends up quite the opposite though, halfway through she reluctantly hands the reins to someone else
she tries though
Gray has a box full of ‘get well soon!’ gifts and cards, he likes to look through then and read all the messages over and over again
i lied. he has three boxes, his friends are overachievers
fin.
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narwhalandchill · 5 months
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also finished the 4.7 AQ and like . well firstly rip to all the sinner theories where it was like could it be nibelung or someone else and all like that was a bit tragic but thats the nature of theories i suppose. i do think it makes sense that the bigger players arent just all going to be figures we Already know of but yea.
overall i think it was like. quite good but also kinda suffers from the way these quests just Have to be an annual thing especially with how short it was? i saw a comment being like this feels like it shouldve been the epilogue to caribert and i kinda agree . also as much as it is appreciated that we Do get some direct answers to big lore questions in the quest was kind of a exposition dump in that sense . fade to black w the abyss sib and dain duel was certainly a Choice 💀
caribert truly is a sweetheart man i didnt expect him to pop up but i feel so bad for him now. except for the loomzoning atossa thing i get that he had no choice on the matter but that was rough for ur girl 😭😭
iiiiiii dunno how to feel about the whole we forget all about the reunion anyway when traveler Remembering as a descender has been established as such a core thing like it kinda feels like a copout im ngl . guess we are just now . aware of information as players that the traveler is not privy to . considering im already more than a little wary towards the general concept of like. memory erasure slash irminsul stuff when it comes to genshins writing im definitely feeling conflicted w this . also applies to the loom of fate editing reality thing . like okay on some level yes it is cool to include such prevalent elements of like. uncertainty and unreliable narration but in worst case those concepts are also v easy for a careless writing team to just. run off w and end up w a convoluted mess so i rly rly hope that wont end up the case
anyway. so the sinners are the big deal this time around i suppose and like. not that i wasnt necessarily expecting surtalogi to indeed be khaenriahn but the confirmation is certainly here now. no particular feelings on this from me im afraid bc like. Highly unpopular lore thing from me but both khaenriah n hexenzirkel (the latter more so than former) are kinda these. big lore topics and entities that i logically Do know and acknowledge as the massive deals they are to the story. but they just arent sth i have so far gotten that invested in altho khaenriah i have somewhat warmed up to . hexenzirkel still feels too much like an unnecessary presence to me lmao i might be missing out on stuff but if the abyss order arguably has a lack of story presence issue then the witches have it like 5 times worse 💀 But point being surtalogi being part of this whole crew of transcendent beings from khaenriah that became sinners is like . okay then isiskskskdk its not that big a deal for me
i think the most meaningful implications from that (in terms of My personal lore fixations at least *cough*) just have to do w like . sth id already been thinking about even before we got the confirmation of the visionary as the sinner that clothar found (which was a big theory anyway that i did personally find very compelling and well its canon now). and that is just the way that like . when skirk compared surtalogi as one in pursuit of "perfection" and brought up the visionary and rhinedottir as two ppl akin to him. that and the narzissenkreuz note about primordial human essentially being the synonym for descenders . & how rhines magnum opus was the primordial human PROJECT aka in light of this note. Very likely to be an attempt at Creating a descender . and how the sinners and abyss orders loom of fate is obviously just another pathway into accessing some sorta will or way to rival the world and defy the heavenly principles . became this thing where i was like 90% convinced and now 100% convinced that if the "perfection" both gold and the visionary pursue is indeed a descenders will in one form or another . then surtalogis aims Must involve the same fucking thing
which naturally gets us back to the insane ajax theory territory bc . if what connects those 3 (and post 4.7 more like. All the transcendent sinners from khaenriah) is getting to that world rivaling will. Then it sure fucking makes Everything surtalogi is doing and planning w both the narwhal and ajax Very Interesting . like it sure is curious that These would be the things surtalogi is occupying himself with if its indeed a descender he seeks . so like . Yeah we dont need to get into 3rd descender stuff but one thing i sure do think is becoming less and less like crackpot speculation and more and more and explicitly foreshadowed future direction for childes arc is that. one way or another. he is going to be involved with the subject of becoming a descender . bc like. if gold tried creating one w alchemy. and if the visionary is Literally creating a loom of fate to serve as the machine capable of weaving a worlds worth of leylines and destiny aka just a descender equivalent machine . then it sure wouldnt make sense for surtalogi to be putting all this heavy effort and resources (as skirk commented on) towards acquiring and possibly subduing an interstellar voyager like the narwhal and getting his student to look for and train the weird kid with a possibly innate connection w it. Without that serving a role in His brand of descender equivalency that hes seeking as a sinner. So yeah childe long term relevance stocks are definitely up w this one guys Trust
but yea thats on surtalogi for me . Point being its not rly a New suspicion for me (like ever since primordial human project started sounding like DIY descender lab project i was thinking this) but i think its been absolutely further affirmed by directly linking surtalogi to the sinners of khaenriah that more likely than not seem like theyre All going to be ppl who used the abyss to seek the power of a descender in a variety of ways???? so thats very neat . wonder who the other 2 will turn out to be then .
another thing to do w the sinners is also like. the way that if we do count dainsleif among them just as one that Didnt jusr abandon the ppl during the cataclysm . there is obviously that doomed number of Six there . so like pygmy theories have been going wild already in the few days it took me to catch up w the AQ but im just kinda . i Still think pale princess is most likely to be about an irminsuled event and be about sth far further back into the timeline than khaenriah and the cataclysm . theres things like rhe night mother specifically talking abt Thousands of years passing before the new hero (= 4th descender aka us most likely) appears to challenge her and also just the general way i still think pale princess aligns too much w the story of the seelie ancestor and her lover Not to be a story about that time period . so as much as the 5+1 sinners of khaenriah being the pygmies is like. Yes the numbers would finally add up clearly with no mental backflips needed unlike w the archons . but like all things considered im still a bit unconvinced. we shall see . that book is a menace anyway so its always gonna be a hot topic lmao like what is Up with it 💀
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fun and not so fun facts about greek mythology , and ancient greece , since im curently a bit obsessed, and percy jackson shit is getting popular
ALL major greek historical figures where EXTREMELY atractive. If you werent attractive your opinion didnnt matter , and you didnt have a chance of being taken seriously , or voted into power . All gods where pictured as extremley atractive as well
All rich and important men where lean and muscular . People werent fat . Male god especially, where always thought of as very physically fit . So practiaclly speacing , no god was fat , as much as youd like to hedcannon them as such , the greeks would disagree
Male Gods rearly ,if ever wore clothes . In statues they are always depicted as nude , unless they are wearing some sort of armor ( in ares case ) . Female gods and nymths are depicted as nude too , but the virgins ( athena artemis hestia , basically any other not that sex oriented diety ) always wore robes
Homosexuality was very very common between men , a bit more rare between women , but not uncommon . In Sparta, boys slept together from very early ages to build companionship and unity in the armies , and in athens the men valued women little enough to compleatly ignore them in their search for love . Platos great speach about two halves and soulmates was a short of best man speach at the union and celebration of two of his very close friends , so basically a toast to love in a gay wedding
Greek people were racist . I dont know how else to put it . They despised all other people, anyone that wasnt greek basically . They still had very good trading relationships with the folk around them , but they thought of themselves as a supirior race . Theres an ancient greek phrase that translates too every one not greek is a barbarian , but i forgot how it goes , so im not including it
They also deply hated immigrants , and im not talking coming from a difrent county to theirs , but moving from a difrent city to theirs . People that resided in cities but wherent born in them , or their amchestors werent born in them where called " μετικοι " and they basically had no rights
Greeks made democracy because they had so many fucking slaves. They could just sit around all day and not work and spend all their time worrying about issues of the city and the people and their rights . If they had jobs they wouldnt be able to do it . Some dude said that to be a good civilian you need to have no other worries of work on your mind , and thats the only way democracy can thrive , but i forget his name . But yeah democracy happened because of slaves
In that note , none of the cool monuments or statues could have been built if the athenians specifically hadnt become " dictators " and stolen all the other greeks money . All the cool shit in athens was built using stolen money
For a while , you could just kill people for fun and no one would care . After a while there was like a justice system put in order so it became slightly less easy to kill people for whatever . You could still do it without much difficulty though , and it wasn't really seen as that big of a deal
The theater was free for all citizens of a city , paid for by the goverment and considered a means of education
I could go on and on forever ive got so many more of these
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angletic · 1 year
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Numbers 1, 4, 28, and 38 for Fen. and for yourself, E ?
OMGGGG FEN. i wrote a lot for these so ill put it under a cut ( :
1: "What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?" Contrary to fen's very B| disposition, i think fen would literally explode if not working towards something. she might look like shes sitting around doing nothing sometimes but her mind is actually just clearing itself to try and route a solution to some problem one of her projects has hit. This is actually something thats very important about her in canon; she she feels something is a waste of time or worthless she won't do it even if recommended to her by a trustworthy source or something that sounds like it would literally solve all problems. i think even though she has self esteem issues she always trusts her perception on the individual worth of doing things. (being abit vague since this is spoileryyy lol)
4: "How easy is it to earn their trust?" Fen honestly has a super jank perception of trust. I dont think she views it as a "thing" you can assign to someone like the rest of us. I think she's immune to that boy-who-cried-wolf mentality because even if someone lied to her 15000 times, she still knows there's a CHANCE theyre telling the truth and assesses what was said accordingly. She always judges someones words on a very individual basis and weighs the probable truth behind them in accordance to what she knows. If she wasnt able to come to a conclusion, she'd probably bluntly ask you questions about whatever you said to get more information and see where youre coming from/what you meant or to just gather more information in the first place, which she then weighs against what she knows and may lead to MORE questions, and she does this until the person shes talking to gets pissed off and leaves (to which she is like Ok whatever B|), or she finally comes to a conclusion regarding its validity. This throws off many-a lie sent her way (read: vel lmfao). i don't think the number of questions she'd ask would change whether she was talking to a stranger or her best friend, but their tolerance for her questions and ability to communicate ideas in a way she best understands would and would thus shorten the interaction by a lot. Though if someone like nymt told her something and to just 'trust her' on it, i do think she's one of the few people fen would just do as such, but even though its her bestie it would feel very wrong and alien to not be in control/understand whats going on, and i don't think nymt would do that to her. even just a brief "i need you to trust me on x its about y and i cant tell you the specifics until z" would feel better because she understands what it vaguely relates to, that theres a REASON for her not knowing and time when she can expect to have this gap in knowledge filled in. trust in the "friendship" was is a lot harder to explain since i the way fen thinks doesnt enable her to 'distrust' anyone like most people would? Like obviously if she was deeply wronged by someone (like druid) she would distrust them, but i think that has more to do wit that fact that shes the one person to truly scare her and hurt her in unimaginable ways then regarding the fact druid went bad on their deal. If it was just the deal thing, fen would be sour and short regarding her but she'd still weigh what was said to her normally. Friendship-wise, i'd read E, the question directed toward me and if i'd be friends with fen. I wrote that part before this one and it explains how fen approaches friendship LMAO.
28: "Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth?" Unpleasant truth always. Fen generally sees a lot of the stuff people would lie about to be not a big deal (ex. to spare her feelings, theyre embarrassed or uncomfortable, etc). It just annoys and confuses her to have had the Wrong Information about something the whole time and she struggles to see why they would lie in the first place. I think fen only lies like once in the story and thats about her wing; otherwise shes completely honest even if it makes her come across as brash or tonally inappropriate for the situation (half the time she doesnt even notice this is how shes being perceived LMAO). fen is an outcast in feyton, but the people there dont like. go out of their way to bully her or anything. Maybe when she was a kid yea that thats because she was in 2nd grade and children can be very mean. shes an adult now and mostly, people's othering of her is very lowkey and insidious. Like pitying glances or using a softer tone with her or something. Fen isnt very socially conscious but he super hard not to notice when shes being treated like a person with nymt and vel and later when she becomes WM and everyone sees her as a respectable and powerful figure, compared to how most other people are so soft and 'nice' with her. I think now that shes an adult she appreciates when children just say what theyre thinking no matter how brash and mean it comes across as opposed to the placating pity everyone else throws her way. she feels more like an equal when kids do that (trusting her with their honest thoughts) which is ironic, since theyre children and being treated like a child is exactly what most adults treat her like. Its hard for her to win, hence why she isolates herself. i think this babying has warped her views on a lot of things a fair bit. she has like no respect for her science and sees it more as a hobby as opposed to like. super impressive groundbreaking physics due to people treating her as a child who always needs help or an eye on her, but also feels super defensive when people imply she cant do something and will immediately turn to it so solve whatever problem people think she cant solve. it also messes with her understanding of compassion as well. clara is a lot like a parental figure to her who took over after her dad died, but fen sometimes gets frustrated by her worrying for her safety since her "are you sure you can handle going mining in that cave?" sounds a lot like the way people talk down and underestimate her in that guise-of-compassion voice. though i dont think clara is perfect as well and certainly sometimes does think fen is genuinely incapable of doing things most fairies can do due to her lack of flight and magic, but she does mean well, and both do care about each other.
38: "What memory do they revisit the most often?" any memories with her dad. There's no specific memory shes a big fan of with anyone, moreso thinking of her positive interactions with others and how she appreciates those people being around her still. But she can go hang out with nymt still and appreciate her company, whereas she cant do that with her dad. in a negative note, she often revisits the night she met the druid. she revisits this one a lot more than the nicer ones, seeing as her big rainbow wing is always behind her. and for meeee, E: "Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?" Fen honestly has the potential to get along well with anyone. so long as you respect her and her low social battery and arent mean or condescending towards her i think she'd let you hang around. she pretty passive when it comes to making friends with people so if you tried hard enough you could insert yourself into her life with little effort (read: VEL LOL). I would totally be besties with fen just on principle, but i also think the way she goes about her relationships and her unbelievably low-maintenance chill-vibes makes for an excellent friend. i don't think you'd have to worry about weirding her out in any way, nor would she spring some bullshit on you out of nowhere. Her bluntness ensures that if she had a problem you'd be the first to hear about it, and fen is always down to try and fix problems in your relationship if you are. Plus a lot of this weird understanding of common concepts like trust and friendship and all this is based a lot on how i commonly approach these ideas (though fen is them taken to a bit more of an extreme) so i think wed get along just by being on similar brainwaves.
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bishiglomper · 2 years
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I sat down pretty much for the first time since uhhh 1pm and its like my body drooped into a relaxed goopy posture but when i got up
DEAR LORD IN HEAVEN, THINGS HURT SO BAD. 😱 I'm so stiff. Ow. Omg. Yikes
I'm taking a half a tramadol. Amazingly my body hasnt actively protested beyond my right hip locking up. But its gonna hurt later. So I'm gonna take double the muscle relaxants and the tramadol and hope my body just deals with the aftermath while I sleep, cause I got shit to do tomorrow.
I don't know what shit, exactly, but we're aiming to explore more than the 5 block radius around broadway. Which was great, mind you but. Y'know. The NYC experience.
I mentioned to dad someone suggested I see the Empire State building. Found out tickets were $80 and that wasnt even to the tippy top. Dad thinks I'm just being passive about my lack of determination to see anything but. I really just have no strong interest in anything.
(If the weather were decent, I would pick a carriage ride in central park and a double decker bus tour. 🤷)
I appreciate seeing the city. The cool architecture. The bright lights. The cool touristy shit. The different "culture" of a big famous city. But it's still a very mild excitment. Just appreciation. I mean, I try to be interested, but I'm just not? 😥 These people wanna take me to art museums but I just do not connect with art. It's just endless walking to me. Which isn't something I need more of.
So when he was like "I will totally pay for your ticket if thats what you want to do"
I'm just like "honestly I would rather go shopping. I wanna see the pop-up markets and Christmas lights."
A short bit later hes got cash in his hand and is like "do you want me to break your $100?"
👀
I tried to break it earlier but a shop dude couldn't. (Dude, a goddamn $2 tote anywhere else was $15. I only needed 5 20s, you lazy pos 🤣 I'm lucky I had so many 1s!!) so I said sure. Handed it to dad. He handed me the 20s. As he's taking it he's like "....do you wanna keep your hundred..."
And I'm just. "Uhh... sure..?" And he slowly hands it back in addition to the 20s. Somehow I have $200 now?
He said he was willing to shell out the 80 on a ticket to see a view, so if I'd rather shop than see sights, he could give me cash. 😲
I love my daddy. He's been so good to me this trip. 😭 the bougee bastard
All this "I have no money to host you" crap a month ago and hes taking me to new york, buying me new boots and $20 avocado toast like its nothing? Seriously, I just wanted to hang in a clean, quiet house and eat vegetables and drink coffee. I am an EASY date, man. I feel so spoiled. Jesus.
We are POOR. I mean, not go-without-food poor, but we do hit the salvation army food pantry occasionally. Just eating the organic food at dad's is bougee to me. That shit's expensive even in a small town, let alone D.C. area prices.
.. Speaking of food.
Dad said he wants me for a few months to deprogram me. I'm like "sure, I'm all for it. But know that as soon as I go back, things are going right back to where they are."
Other day dad was telling me how bad all the food they sell us is. I agree. But I cant afford the quality shit. 🤷 I also can't take care of myself, sooo... yeah. I'm at the mercy of my habitat. There's only so much I can affect without running into someone else's needs.
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Strip
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Gif credit @discoelitist.
Requested by @mypridefulsoul27. Hope you like it. Thanks for the request.
Taglist: @nocturnalherb16. @jesseswartzwelder. @mypridefulsoul27.
"So what are these pills called again"? Antonio asked about this new drug on the street. It already had forty overdoses under its belt and growing.
"Pez". You replied, handing him a sample of the product that you got off a dead guy.
"Like the pez candy"?
"Yeah, it even comes with it's own pez dispenser and everything. Makes it popular with the kids". You tell him as you went to put the last two overdoses on the board. They were thirteen and sixteen that had a bright future before them.
"That's Eva's and Diegos age". Antonio sighed.
"From what we know, the dealer is a strip club owner named Marco Stewart. He has connections to strip clubs, porn studios and apparently schools as well. He has a record longer than my arm. Mostly drug charges and a few DUI's, assault with a deadly weapon and a breaking and entering". You tell Antonio and the others as they started to come in.
"A model citizen". Jay chuckled.
"Yeah, his club has been shut down for redecorating and looking for new talent. So if it's alright with Voight. I was thinking I could go apply and someone else". You looked at Voight who was noddling his in approval.
"I'll go. I can go be a bartender or something". Antonio volunteered.
"They're looking for dancers and a bouncer". You tell Antonio. He lifted a eyebrow.
"Alright set it up. You sure you're cool with this, Y/N"? Voight asked.
"Yeah. I want this guy off the streets. Parents will sleep better at night". You smiled and went to get your coat.
"A stripper? Of all undercover missions I have to miss is, Y/N being a stripper. That hurts". Adam held his chest dramatically.
"Eat your heart out". You laughed as you walked past him. Antonio snickered as he followed.
Adam playfully dropped on his desk dead. Kevin and the other laughed. You were taking this serious.
"So what's your name"? Marco Stewart asked, looking you up and down. A toothpick sticking from his mouth.
"Heaven. I'm a little piece of Heaven". You batted your eyes and flirted with him.
"More like a big piece of Heaven". Marco chuckled, his eyes went to your breast.
"Oh you're so funny". You playfully hit his arm.
"You're hired. So what about your boyfriend"? Marco watched Antonio out of the corner of his eye. Antonio was looking at the stage in the club.
"His names Johnny. Just got out of the pen. Had five years but did three for good behavior". You smiled.
"What was he in for"?
"Possession of a controlled substance". Antonio turned to talk to Marco. "That's what the asshole cop said once he planted it on me". Antonio looked between you and Marco than laughed. Marco laughed as well.
"You use to deal"? Marco asked intrigued.
"Yeah back in Brooklyn. I dealed for nine years and nothing but they catch me picking up a ounce of weed for my moms and I'm in prison before I can bat my eyes. It was bullshit". Antonio put on a thick Brooklyn accent.
"Alright. You're hired too. Both you be here Friday night, six o'clock. I got something for you two do before you go on".
"Wow, thanks. I cant wait to show you my moves. I promise it'll be amazing". You gushed, hugging Antonio and planting a kiss to his cheek. "We got the job, baby".
"Let's go home and celebrate". Antonio growled and picked you up carrying you out of the club.
Antonio put you down and headed to the car. "That was easy".
"Yeah. Now we have to figure out what he wants us to do". You say as you and Antonio drove to the station.
"Heaven? You chose Heaven as a stage name"? Adam scoffed.
"Yes, I'm a little piece of Heaven". You seductively purred.
"Yes, yes, you are". Adam smiled like a fool. Antonio rolled his eyes.
"Do you think he wants us selling drugs for him"? Antonio asked.
"Maybe. We could get a few undercovers in there as customers. Give us a better chance at catching him with the drugs". You suggested.
"We can do that. But we dont want to spook him. Since theres two new faces in the club and then add more. He'll know somethings up". Voight replied.
"Yeah. You're right. We go in tomorrow at six".
"Alright. Make sure you two are ready and prepared for this. I dont want it going bad and someone getting hurt. No dealer will go down nicely". Voight reassured.
"Yes, sir". You say. Antonio and you had a rough night sleeping. Your minds raced.  Tomorrow was a big job, a lot was depending on you two. You couldn't screw it up.
"My little piece of Heaven". Marco greeted you as you came into the club his arms open for a hug.
"Good even, sir". You purred in his ear.
"Oh, sir. I like that". Marco laughed. "Come on, I got something for you guys". He waved you and Antonio into the back room.
"So tonight is going to be big. Huge! We have Heaven here making her debut and everyones coming. Everyone. So I need you two to be selling some of our delicious product. It taste just like candy". Marco chuckled as he opened a box that had about five hundred pills inside. Enough to kill a whole school of kids.
"I've heard about this drug. It's supposed to make sex even more amazing". You wrapped your arms around Antonio's waist and started kissing his neck. Antonio went along and grabbed your face deepening the kiss to your lips.
"Fuck yes"! Marco cheered.
Antonio pulled away panting, you licked your lips. This was the first time you two let your sexual tension free on each other. It was there but you two kept it bottled up.
"I like you two. This is going to be a great partnership". Marco grinned.
Around seven, people started arriving. Each person got a pez and a pat down from Johnny the bouncer. Antonio was taking his job seriously. You were going around getting drinks for the customers until you were called to the stage.
"Baby, why dont you take this fifty and we go back to the back and play"? A creepy older guy slapped your ass as you sat his drink down on the table.
"No thanks". You smiled and went on your way. You had to breath cause if you didnt you would have taken the drink tray and popped him up side the head with it.
"Heaven, baby. It's almost time". Marco pointed to his wrist and you nodded. You went back to the dressing room and changed into a diamond bralette that didnt hide anything and a pair of black cut up booty shorts. It wasnt your taste but Marco wanted you to wear it. You splashed on some glitter and perfume before you heard your song come on.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a new comer here that has blessed us with her beauty. Please give it up for a little piece of Heaven". Marco introduced you to the cheering crowd. You walked on stage and put your hand on his shoulder.
"We also have a special guest to share the stage with her, our own bouncer Johnny Boy". Marco put the spot light on Antonio which caught both you and him off guard. You didnt know his was in your performance.
Marco waved Johnny on stage, Antonio gulped and went up. Marco had a chair for Antonio to sit in as you danced.
"Show em what you got baby doll". Marco slapped your ass.
You smiled at Antonio, he looked nervous. The combination of spot light, the men sitting around watching and the part where he liked you this was a bit to much for him to stand.
The music was flowing through your veins. You swayed your hips to the music in between Antonio's legs. Your hands on his knees, your ass on his lap. Antonio licked his lips, he got the courage to put his hands on your hips and guide you along.
You smirked, rolling your hips. This was all work but you could throw in some play as well. The crowd of cheering men disappeared when you turned around and straddled Antonio's lap. Your hand wrapped around Antonio's neck as you grinded on him. He looked into your eyes as he helped you move your body.
Your eyes wondered over his face, his eyes sparked in the lights, he had a slight smirk on his face and you could see Marco deal out a baggy of Pez.
"Now". You said and Voight and the team busted in. You got off of Antonio and went after Marco, Antonio followed your lead.
Marco didnt run, he had his hands up and ready for cuffs.
"For a dealer, you went easily". You told Marco as you handed him off to Jay.
"I'm just the bottom of the food chain, baby. I'll get a slap on the wrist". Marco laughed as he was taken away.
"Great job, you two". Voight nodded and walked away.
"You look absolutely beautiful". Adam smiled like a bigger fool as he came over. You looked down and covered yourself up.
"I'm going to go change". You hurried to the back.
Antonio slapped Adam on the back of his head. "Watch it". He pointed at Adam. Adam stood there confused. 
You got dressed quickly and headed out front. Suddenly all eyes were on you.
"What"? You looked down at your outfit. You had tight red pants on with a red jacket and a black see through corset. You may have taken it from Marcos wardrobe.
"You look good, Y/L/N". Jay chuckled along with Adam and Kevin.
"Thank you". You giggled.
Antonio came by your side. "You do. You look really good. Um, you wanna get coffee"? Antonio rubbed the back of his neck.
"Are you asking me on a date"?
"A coffee date".
"Oh". You were kinda sad that that was it.
"Just for now. I'm kinda tired so coffee will hold you over until Friday night". Antonio sent you a wink.
"Yeah. I'd like that".
"Great". Antonio held out his arm for you and you wrapped yours around his. "Where did you learn to dance like that"?
You laughed. "Believe it or not there was a time I wasnt a detective. But that's for another time".
Antonio smirked as he lead you to his car and you were off on your first date.
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puto-el-que-lo--lea · 3 years
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post covid sp edits + a character design analysis
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i made some quick edits of post covid kyle butters and cartman cuz im too passionate abt character design + I wrote a bit of analysis using character design theory
kyle: changed his nose shape to sheila's because it's canon that he has his mother's nose and they either forgot that fact or he got rhinoplasty... i also gave him a few light hairs and a forehead wrinkle to make him look his age, one of his main traits is his short temper and his design does not reflect that except for the red hair. the choice of headshape is great though, it matches with his 'square' personality and his ushanka.
butters: almost perfect except if they had added the scar he got as a kid in good times with weapons it would've made him look more badass and "villainous",. it's good that they keept his circular face and the same hair tho.
cartman: this is the weirdest design out of all of them bc he doesn't resemble any of his relatives... he has unique headshape/features. so i went and gave him Scott Tenorman's nose, as a reference towards them being half-brothers. gave him more adult-ish proportions by lowering the mouth. i like that he is big and round though, in shape language big circles represent protection and that fits his role as a father
no kenny or stan edit bc i think they're perfect. stan in particular is a great design, looks like a soft dad and kenny like a funky scientist uncle. we can tell inmediately by looking at them what their deal is so 10/10
ok now onto the analysis
a cool detail that is easy to miss is how the color palette of each of the main 5 reveals how "attached" to they past they were
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Kyle and Stan were the ones who were hung on the past the most and they're the ones who still keep most of their original color palette/clothes. They're wearing nearly identical clothes with slight changes in cut and hue. even the haircuts are the same.
Kenny moved on with his life but he still wished he could fix the broship, got rid of his iconic parka but kept the orange on his shirt.
Butters' conflicting personalities of Victor Chaos and the old Butters reflect on him wearing a business suit with two shades of blue, a dark marine blue and underneath the light aqua he wore as a kid.
Cartman was the one with the most radical change, choosing to form a new identity, so he wears a grey suit and the only resemblance to his old self is the yarmulke with the same colors as his iconic knithat, hinting that a trace of his true self still existed in him.
however after the timeline is fixed and cartman is now the one stuck on the past, his clothes stay the same as when he was a kid, going back to wearing an updated version of his knit hat and his bright red sweater
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Butters and Stan also have a radical change in clothes and color palette when the timeline is fixed as they change jobs while Kenny and Kyle remain the same, though i'm thinking its bc the ending seemed very rushed and there wasnt time for details so i wont dwell on it, but in everything else there's great attention to details
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for the ask thing: 5, 9, and 16 about c!tubbo
fear, childhood, and appearance!
5: tubbo doesnt have fight or flight, he has fawn. its an obvious remnant of his time under schlatt, but it also means that when hes scared and especially when he's triggered, most people dont notice. tommys never really picked up on it because tubbos never really been scared of tommy before, and even quackity, who was there while it developed, never figured it out until a little into nlm. ranboo put it together eventually, but it was a little hard for him to understand, because when they disagreed tubbo argued until he ran out of breath, and whenever he fought someone he never hesitated to use every weapon in his arsenal -- actual threats to his life were always responded with in kind. but in more personal situations, when he's put back in that mindset he had as a spy, where he thinks theres no way out, he's just going to do his best to please and pray that you dont hurt him. basically, if you pull out a gun, he'll pull out his own, but if you broke a bottle on his head he'd ask where the paper towels were.
9: this one is a little complicated, because it tends to change a lot based on what i'm writing, but i really like the idea of tubbo being from 2b2t. its why he thinks anarchy doesnt work and how he learned what nuclear weapons are. tubbo is hopeful about human nature, although one would not go nearly so far as to call him an optimist. he believes that people are inherently good, and that they do want the best for those around them as a general rule. but he also believes that humans are a product of their environment and that without proper guidance and enforcement of rules from something like a government, they will turn to violence because it's how they have to survive.
16: I HAVE SO MANY GET READY. okay so let's start with clothing/deliberate presentation: he got a shit ton of medals. lots of ones for bravery and good leadership after the battle at the jungle base especially, because in my version of the war that was a really big deal (they got ambushed while doing reconnaissance and tubbo managed to trick the greater smp leaders and got most of his troops out alive). he wore them on his military uniform which was, of course, part of the white house attire, since all their members were some form of military. then schlatt came into power and, since he wasnt military and that made him look less experienced, he wanted to kind of scrub away evidence of it, and no one was allowed to wear their medals or uniforms anymore. tubbo realised pretty early into the administration that the best way to get by was to make sure he wasnt seen as a threat. when he was ordered to get a suit, he made it a little too big -- not enough to be remarked upon, but enough to make him seem smaller, more childish, a little more ineffectual. he messed up his hair in the morning and, when that was called unprofessional, he pushed it up with too much gel, left it a little clumpy and unflattering, enough to imply youth and, crucially, inexperience. speaking of hair: obviously it was in a military buzz cut for lice prevention during the war, but he had grown it out by schlatts administration, so it was about the same as cctubbos. then the festival happened, and quite a bit, especially on one side of his hairline, was burned off, so it was just shaved down for easier access to the burns. after the festival, he realized that his efforts didnt work the way he wanted them to. because, when someone already suspects you, looking weak doesnt mean you look non-threatening -- it just means you look easy to hurt. so he kept his hair short, even though it made him feel insecure about his scars, even after it started going grey at the temples. after tommys reported death, he stopped cutting it regularly, so it was grown out a little by doomsday, and afterwards he gave up entirely for a while. it was only a while after adopting michael that tubbo commented he should probably cut it again. ranboo had frowned, brushed a strand out of his face, and said he thought it looked nice. and tubbo was kind of baffled, because it had been a very very long time since someone had ever said he looked anything close to nice. and he had almost argued that it drew more attention to his uneven, burned hairline, or that it made the grey even more obvious, or that the way it framed the crows feet by his eyes made them more pronounced. but, for reasons he didnt quite know, he didn't say any of that. instead, he'd just set down the scissors, and that was that.
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miridiums-writing · 4 years
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Vincent Phantomhive relationship headcanons
As always I tried to be as inclusive as possible, let me know if you feel there are things I could change, im always down for positive feedback
I went off on a tangent in some parts I apologise
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He is a complete gentleman
And complete trust is important to him in a relationship
He wants everything on the table sooner rather than later so you both are always on the same page
The only thing he may be inclined to hide to begin with is his job because if the dangers surrounding it
Other than that he will explain his love language, the way he wants the relationship to go, he wants to know your limits boundaries.
He always respects your boundaries and makes sure never to push it, the last thing he wants is for you to be uncomfortable with him
He wants to know if your trans, he would never discriminate he just wants to know everything about you so there are no shocks later in life.
As we all know I hope. Vincent was raised by his butler exactly like Ciel.... kinda, his wasnt a demon. This means he has a lot of respect for everyone regardless of background because that was what he was taught.
He could care less about your family background and if you lived in poverty, he wants to know you completely vulnerable and on the table.
This mans love language is acts of service, if you have a bad day he will run you a bath and care for you.
He will buy that newspaper you mentioned in passing was good to let you read at breakfast.
He would remember which are your favourite meals to request the chefs to make for you again.
Although another big one is physical affection
not because im touch starved I actually think this is true
He loves to give you forehead kisses, tall or short he could care less let him lovingly kiss your forehead.
Hand kisses are a big one too, every time you descend the stairs in the morning and he sees you at the bottom before you both head out together he takes your hand in his and kisses it before holding you close to walk to the carriage.
Sounds dramatic? Too bad
He always holds you close in public, could care less about the stares he needs you close
Parties always have an arm around your waist as he talks to people. Introducing you as his lovely beautiful gorgeous spouse
Because you are dont fuck with me on this you beautiful human being
Which leads me onto the topic of jealousy.
Now this man has two moods, if he is having a good day he doesn't mind, he trusts you whole heartedly and knows you will always come back to him, will just watch you deal with the problem yourself, your strong enough. He believes in you.
But there are those rare occasions
When he is just in an awful mood and the last thing he needs is someone trying to hit on his s/o
So he will come up behind you and glare at them and lead you away.
This man could never be truly angry at you, he loves you so deeply, he knows that person is the one at fault and would never take it out on you
The only thing you get is his sweet doting clingy side. Where he takes you home and cuddles and kisses you for hours.
Which leads me on to sleeping
He is clingy, this is a fact
Big spoon all the time, he needs to security of you being in his arms safe and snug
Gives his reassurance he is doing the right thing
Always gives at least 10 kisses before he even tries to sleep
He reminds you everyday how deeply he loves you
In different ways each time not always saying it, but he makes it knows so you know you are always loved.
For my shorties out there
Every day without fail he picks you up at least once and spins you around to make you laugh
For my taller peeps
Everyday without fail he comes up to you and hugs you really tight, he likes to put his head on your chest during these moments and tickle you, or makes a funny joke, anything to make you laugh
Now arguments with this man wouldn't happen often if ever
If they did ever happen he would stay very calm
Never raises his voice because he knows it won't go anywhere and tries to work with you to solve the problem there and then so you dont both stew on it.
The only instance I can think that an argument would start was if he was super stressed from overworking and accidentally snapped at you
He would apologise instantly and make sure to take a break
He really just wants you to always be happy.
Now for all my peeps who have shark week
He is incredibly doting on you
As if he wasnt already
But seriously he will cuddle you all you need, rub your abdomen if cramps get bad.
If your like me and are just hungry he will get you food, tries to convince you to eat something healthy too
Now if you got sick?
Panics for a bit until he realises panicking isn't gonna make you feel better, then abe internally panics that he has no idea what he is doing.
Asks Tanka what to do because he trusts him
Follows all his instructions to a t to make sure your ok
Even if it is something as simple as a cold
Now if you ever got injured the same thing would occur
Tanaka would be brought in for advice
But if the injury had something to do with his job and his status he would rethink being with you because your safety is important to him
You would need to calm him down a bit and talk him out of it
Which is pretty easy because you make him weak
You are his weakness and he could care less, as long as he can fall asleep with you in his arms
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bcdwhcre · 4 years
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This is my 2nd time I'm sending a request I'm sorry this'll be my last ansjsj
Can you do a Hanji x reader where the reader and Hanji are best friends in the scouts and the reader has feelings for Hanji so they tend to act a little flirty? But the reader is actually Levi's sister and Levi finds it so obvious how much the reader loves Hanji so he just teases for her it? Hanji then overhears the reader talking about her feelings and boom! Confession! ^^
“Confessions,” Hange x Reader
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Girrrrl send as many requests as you like, I don’t mind at allllllllll. Hanji Hanji, I love her and I know I spell it how it is in the dub its a habit. my apologiesssssss.
Summary: Levi’s younger sister has a crush on Hange and he finds it real obvious, teasing you until you end up confessing.
Warnings: none
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Growing up wasnt easy. You and Levi were left to starve and then trained to be full on machines, learning how to fight and defend before you were even ten years old.
Levi had tried his best to protect you, he still does to this day as the both of you worked in the scout regiment and were each made Captains.
The more time went on and days were spent all together in the room, drinking and eating. You found yourself having a big crush on Hange, you liked her confidence and the way she’s driven to the Titans and wanting to learn about them. It was crazy but you liked it.
You would even admit that you were in love with her. You would spend your days off with her, learning about her discoveries, her theories and even spent time with her when she had caught two Titans and did research on them up close.
The way she was in love with her work, the way she dedicated herself to the two Titans and was absolutely fascinated with them, even if it almost killed her on numerous occasions- it just all made you fall in love with her more.
You were in deep.
It wasn’t long till Levi had caught on, he knew you better than anyone and the way you stared at her from across the room or the way you listened to every word she said as she rambled on about pointless stuff that you knew nothing about.
He knew you had a big crush on her and he teased you about it for months on end. He made sure to be the annoying big brother that bullies his sister with jokes about how you’re soft for her, how you practically drool over her when she speaks to you.
“Just shut up, Levi.” You groaned, sitting inside his office as he laughed, shooting more playful jokes your way.
It had made you grow frustrated with your brother, he was a pain in the ass to deal with and now that he knew that you liked your fellow comrade, he couldn’t help but bug you about it.
It was entertaining to him, this was the only time he got a good laugh during the awful times of working and risking your lives to protect others.
“C’mon, it’s funny.” He rolled his eyes at your attitude but laughed about it shortly afterwards.
“It’s only funny to you, dumb ass. Why don’t you stop being a lonely old man and go find someone.” You said sarcastically, making his eyebrows furrow and shoot you a dirty look.
“I don’t need anyone. All I need is myself and you, remember that.” He simply said but you knew why he was never interested in finding someone for himself.
Levi holds up this giant wall that is three times bigger than him. He acts cold, he acts like he isn’t phased by anything but deep down, everything hits him like bricks. He convinced himself that being alone was a better option as a Scout instead of setting himself up for heartbreak and risk loving someone just to lose them to Titans.
He convinced himself that nothing was more important than family. Than you, as his little sister. He didn’t need anything else but you, losing you would be losing himself entirely.
“I’m grown, I can watch myself.” You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest and he shrugged his shoulders.
“Eh, you still remind me of the five year who cried all the time.. You still cry all the time.” He joked, making you roll your eyes.
“So, are you going to tell Hange or should I?” Levi spoke up again, bringing the topic right back on the table and you groaned dramatically.
You didn’t want to talk about it any longer, the fact that a simple crush was being held over your head was annoying enough especially it being done by Levi. You wanted to punch him in the face and you were tempted to do it at this very moment.
You knew you couldn’t bring yourself to tell Hange your feelings, in the back of your head you were convinced she didn’t go in that direction, that she didn’t like women but some times it was questionable but the paranoia had lingered over you which prevented you from even thinking about telling her.
While you argued with your brother, Hange had walked down the hallway to actually look for you to help her with some theories she had in mind. She wanted to run them by you because you were the only person that showed interest and actually gave her good advice.
As she walked by Levi’s office, she overheard your voice and stopped in her tracks when her name was brought up in the conversation.
“Are you going to tell Hange or should I?”
She raised her eyebrow, tell her what? She was confused as she stood by the door, her ear up to the crack to listen to more. She hated to be nosey but she couldn’t help it when she was brought up.
“How am I supposed to tell her? It’s not as easy as you make it sound, Levi. This could either ruin our friendship or not.” You hated this, you hated the topic and you wanted to move on.
But Levi being the annoying asshole he was, he edged on and on just to watch the pure irritation on your face just for his amusement.
“C’mon, it’s not that hard. Just open your mouth up and speak.” He smirked, resting his arms on the desk as he leaned forward.
“You’re just a scary chicken.” He teased, making Hange almost giggle under her breath at the childish nickname he gave you.
But the more she stood there, the more she was intrigued with the conversation and wanting to listen to more. She had glanced down each side of the hallway to make sure no one was near or walking down to blow her cover as she continued the sneaky act.
“God, you’re so irritating. It’s not that easy for me to walk up to her and say I’m in love with you. Keep teasing me about it and I’ll kick your short ass.” You threatened him, making his laugh only grow louder.
Her eyes widen at the confession you let out. You were in love with her? She couldn’t process it or think clearly but it had definitely made her heart pound inside her chest and adrenaline run through her veins.
As you got up from the other side of the desk, telling your brother that you were leaving as he continued to giggle like a school girl. Once she heard your footsteps come closer to the door, she had practically ran down the hallway and go around the corner.
She didn’t really know what to do, should she bring this up to you? Should she just get this over with and confront you? She didn’t know and all that thinking she did, she didn’t realize you walking down the hallway in her direction until you startled her by turning the corner.
“Oh shit!” You jumped, making her jump and drop the files she was holding in her hands.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t see you.” You admitted shyly, your cheeks growing hot as you kneeled down to scatter up the files and hand them back to her.
“It’s okay, actually- I was looking for you.” Hange abruptly said then quickly shut her mouth, that’s not what she wanted to say- now the topic was at the front of her mind.
“Oh? What about?”
“Uh, I had some theories but first I kind of wanted to get something off my chest.” She said, fixing her glasses and met your gaze with a almost worried look that made you become paranoid.
“I didn’t mean to um, listen in but I heard you and Levi talking.” She finished, making your eyes go wide and suddenly your cheeks were as red as a tomato.
“Ahh, um.” You didn’t know what to say, you started to stutter and started to look around the empty hallway to avoid her stare.
This is not what you had in mind about confessing to Hange. You couldn’t help but think if Levi was behind this sick plan, it wouldn’t be surprising if he did- he’s a selfish asshole after all.
As you stood there quietly, Hange had began to worry and clung tighter onto the files in her hands. She didn’t really know what to say and that’s coming from someone who is always talking and rambling about something.
But as she stood in front of you, watching you get all flustered up, it gave her a bit of a confidence boost to lean down and press her lips on yours, catching you by surprise completely.
You weren’t expecting this, your anxiety made you think of the worst in every situation but here she was, kissing your lips and it made your heart skip a beat at the small kiss.
When she pulled back, both of your faces flustered up and red- she had given you a cute smile and gestured you to follow her.
“C’mon, I have some theories to tell you.”
You were confused, thrown back but you followed her back to her office and she noticed how you were still quiet, probably even overthinking the small kiss you two shared.
“I hope you know that me kissing you meant that I like you too.”
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Soft soft soft🥺
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fatcowboys · 3 years
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i expected this new years to be just average bc covid means i wasnt w anyone and also long distance relationship meant i was just planning on playing games and doing like. animal crossing countdown bc thats cute but! in a plot twist i didnt do that and it was very good
[[MORE]]
my dad always likes to do zoom calls w his family and they all do a shot for new years bc its tradition or something and i never do it bc i dont drink much esp not shots bc they dont taste good. and that was meh But! afterwards me and my sisters and their boyfriends did our own zoom hangout and the vibes were very good and abby couldnt stay long bc she had to drive home so me and sam and jb hung out til 230
and we talked about games and ttrpgs and people we like to criticize and talked shit about my dad and talked abt queerness and i told them the name ive been using and it all just felt very natural and casual. like i dont put the energy into coming out a lot to people who already know me as a previous name because often it just ends up being Heavy but it felt very natural and Easy. which was so nice. and by the time we ended the call they both had used my name and slipped into it so easily like no hesitation no slipping like they had always known me as Blue.
and it was just. such a good evening. before sam went to college i wasnt a big fan of her partly bc my own anxiety was at its worse and she could be Very overstimulating and i didnt know how to deal with that at the time. and also we both were miserable in hometown and just hard lmao. but today was good and easy to talk with her bc we both have grown so much in very good ways. its just very nice that we both have taken very different paths of getting out of bad hometown shit and hard family stuff but have each figured stuff out and are so much better for it.
and ive always vibed so well with JB like we have so many good overlaps of hobbies that hes so fun to talk to we talked about so many games we both love and so many good things and the vibes were good and laughter was good man if i lived in LA id be his friend bc hes very cool and good.
idk. i have a hard time just like. talking with people and not overthinking everything i say or constantly stumbling on words and theres a short list of folks i can hang out with and just feel very natural and not caught up in overthinking and tonight was just a good night
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give-grian-rights · 3 years
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Bets Against The Void c5
@petrichormeraki bet you forgot I even had this fic ! Thank you again for the gift that is Whitelist AU, which feels like a lifetime ago (For Tommy it was !)
Chapter 1 Here
Last Chapter Here
Next Chapter Here
and AO3 Crossposted!
Ask to tag and give me a headsup on any typos ! c!Tubbo in my interpretation is they/them and blind.
The Hobbit Hole was more than Tommy expected. Birch-and-spruce windows poked out throughout the hillside, a round entrance carefully carved from the wood. Poking his head inside, the blond’s eyes darted across the spruce-built interior skeptically.
“..Thanks.” Tommy halfhartedly grumble, pulling his hand off the entrance. He warily stepped in, his hand resting on the doorway entrance for a moment as he investigated for potential traps.
“You’re..Sure we can just- stay here?” Tubbo asked once more, their head turned back towards the dirty blond stood aside the messy front garden.
“Of course, I swear, I don’t need another place to hoard stuff! Chances are, I’ll only be out here if I finally get around to moving my villagers out of their old setup.”  The older brit confirmed once more, his tone light. “Seriously, it’s not a big deal. Promise.”
Hesitantly nodding, Tubbo offered an appreciative smile his way before they turned back towards Tommy. “How’s it looking, then, Big Man?” They hummed, tilting their head.
“Fuckin’ cool as shit-” He glanced around, apprehensively surveying the ground for any traps.
“It needs a bit of cleanin’ up,” Stress chirped, sending a lighthearted glare towards Grian as he stuck out his tongue with a snicker. “We’d all be happy to help.” She finished, with a warm smile.
Tubbo politely nodded. “I think we’ll handle it. Thank you, again.” They ran their hand over the wooden arc in the entrance.
Grian shook his head. “Really, don’t worry about it. Stay here. Get settled. Either of us may be over to check up. Across the lake’s my neighbor, Scar, who you might see. But he shouldn’t come around here.” 
With a bit of exasperation, ready to be left alone, Tommy wordlessly nodded as he bounced his leg. 
Clearing his throat, Grian nodded. “Alright, then we’ll be out. We’ll see you two soon. Cya, Stress, thanks for the help!” He dipped his head towards the short brunette, who grinned bubbly back.
“See ya! Bye, loves.” Stress cooed, before deploying her glowing skeletal wings and ascending off with a quick poof of smoke.
Instinctively when the item had come to her hand, Tommy had thrown his arms around Tubbo’s ears- an action that didn’t go unnoticed by the sandy brunett man.
Grian simply put his hands up pacifying, as Tubbo was shrunk back curled, shielded away from where the brief poof was. “They’re duds, almost all fireworks here are duds.” He had calmly spoke, his tone soft. “I’ll come back to check up on you guys soon, ‘n make sure you have the supplies you need. You have free reign of that base!” Were his parting words, before he trotted off into the woodland.
Tommy uncurled himself from Tubbo. “You good, Bigman?” The blond tilted his head.
“Yeah,” Tubbo chuckled halfheartedly. “It doesn’t really.. Scare me it just- it startles me? Hearing it? ‘Cause I don’t really have time to prepare myself for the noise..Even if it’s not the same as- the kind from. Then.” Their voice wavered for a moment, before they took a shuttering breath. “Yeah, I’m fine, Man.”
“..Mhm..Alright.  Well, this set-up is better than just ‘bout half the shit on’ the SMP.” Tommy diverted the subject, sweeping his foot over the top of the floor, watching the small streak it left beneath a thin coat of dust.
Tubbo tilted their head. “Really? It smells..Very dusty-” They sneezed into their arm, sniffling. “I.. feel like it might need a bit of work, yeah?”
The blond boy shrugged. “Yeah.. We can see ‘bout gettin’ a towel wet or something and wiping all ths shit down?”
Humming in agreement, Tubbo felt around, listening to the words their Comm robotically had been reading off.
“I’ll see ‘bout findin’ shit. They’ve gotta have wool in some of these chests,”
With a bit of digging,  the two teens had gotten to work. Not everywhere in the practically abandoned place was dusty or dirty. A small lush crevice was fresh and clean- or, relatively so. Bright feathers had littered the area around it. A path from a window seal, which had been opened, and to said crevice was nearly spotless of debris outside of such molting feathers or a few leaves.
Now without dust on the outside, the two messed with the chests, rummaging through what could be found.
..Which was a lot. Just not in the places they had expected.
Out of the chests they had searched through, they managed to find almost a doublechest full of various stacked enchanted books-
“How..How did he just leave all of this here?” “Well, he has enough he defenitely won’t notice a few gone!”
A totem of undying in a michalanious chest-
“Woah.. WHAT THE SHIT..” “Dude… This is.. A gamechanger”
A golden apple held by an item frame-
“Finders keepers! This counts, its on a chest.” “Sick!”
Bafflingly, a diamond in the food chest-
“What the actual shit. WHAT THE ACTUAL SHIT-” “What? W- WHAT? WHY?”
Two enchanted, nearly broken bows with enchants- “Better than nothing, I’ll see about combinin’ them unless you feel like pinnin’ the tail on the donkey.” “..Sounds like a good plan, yah.”
And in the middle of the room, a chest with an enchanted diamond axe-
“..Fuck. Wow- There’s just a wholeass enchanted axe! What the fuck is the point of the itemframes if theres no system here?”
“Whats it enchanted with..?” “..Fortune? What a waste. Uhh, some efficiency, too.”
There wasnt much in the main storage room, but they werent quite willing to push their luck and explore too far. At least not until they got some food and set up some sort of gameplan.
The two teens distributed some of the loot they scavanged, damaged iron armor going to Tommy, a shovel to Tubbo and a spare shovel to Tommy, The totem of undying to Tubbo, and the two diamonds they scavenged turned into a diamond sword for Tubbo as well, with the axe and golden apple going to Tommy.
They turned their focus to food. The two sat beneath the support pillars against the walls, taking the time to eat  a handful of watermelon slices.
The wall of chests ahead of them had been broken, exposing the opened window with feathers trailing from it. It was an oddly live scene in the otherwise abandoned wooden hole.
Neither of them quite enjoyed the feeling of being holed in, or the small nature of the wall-home. Nor did either teen mention it.
Tommy explained the varying entrance ways from the mainroom. They had decided on splitting up soon, letting Tubbo find a place to dig out a room for the two of them, with Tommy going off and rummaging through more chests.
Tubbo found a dead-end room beneath a spruce-log room on the second story, and had begun trying to carve it out, as the other teen worked through more and more chests.
The blond eventually worked his way outside and into yard infront of the entrance, rummaging his way through the bits and pieces- the best so far, being another golden apple which he happily held onto.
Half way through his second chest, something caught his attention- or, more like, he caught something’s attention.
A blue, yellow-cheeked bird had fluttered around him, its head quirked curiously as it stared him down. Tommy shrinked.
“What the fuck do you want?” He squinted at the parrot as it lowered itself down onto the top of the open chest, hopping along the edge.
“F⚍ᓵꖌ!” The bird cooed in responded incoherently, chirping at him.
Tommy paused, eyes lighting up in realization. “Oi! You’re the one that flies into the house, huh?” 
In response, it turned it’s head away, nodding. “Hobbit!” It shrilled.
As Tommy had opened his mouth to respond, the hobbit himself, Grian, had flown down, sweeping down with a soft thud.
“Sorry! Uh, Professor Beak has a little spot in there. He likes to go n stay there most days, its a lot cozier than the mansion,” The older Brit chuckled apologetically, putting out his hand for the parrot. 
The blond boy snorted. “‘Professor Beak?’” He’d raise a brow.
The named bird chirped, stepping onto Grian’s wrist without hesitation. “Professor Ellen Taurtis Beak!” It cooed, its voice mimicking that of Grian himself.
It was… A strange display, to be sure.
Sheepishly, Grian hummed, running his spare hand through the bird’s feathers. “They may try ‘n break back in, they’re a pesky bird like that. I’m sorry for bothering you, though. You two doing good?”
“..Hm,,Yeah, thanks. Are you..Like, fuckin’ aware of all the stuff you’re leavin’?” Tommy eyed the strange man, folding his arms.
Grian merely gave a shrug. “Not really? But that just means they’re nothing important. If they help you both get started, they’re yours.”
Huh. Well, that was easy enough.
“..Right. Cool. Bye.” Tommy watched the man, as he easily nodded, striding off with his bird held by his chest.
The blond let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.
“..This place is fucking weird.”
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shindidnothingwrong · 3 years
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Its funny to me the blatant hypocrisy of the BoruSara and KawaSumi fandom and their sheer shamelessness of not even trying to conceal it
KawaSara first kicked off with chapter 28 which was centered around them and the start of their friendship, which happened in 2019.
Antis were quick to mock us for shipping them after only ONE interaction when they spent the whole chapter arguing [ignoring the end of it where she forgives and reaches out to him]
When Sarada opened up to Kawaki about her personal feelings towards her dad in the past and her experience with Naruto and envy towards Boruto, people said it was no big deal, that she didnt really open up to him and all she did was talk about Boruto and Naruto. In fact they said they never even had a conversation and only ever talk about Naruto and Boruto.
But then in 2021 when episodes 190-191 came out that focused primarily on Kawaki and Sumire, SUDDENLY having only one interaction was enough, SUDDENLY them arguing and not getting along for most of the episode was ok, SUDDENLY opening up about her personal history with her father was meaningful and significant, SUDDENLY their conversations werent just about Boruto and Naruto [which by their logic IS all they talked about]
After only TWO EPISODES of interaction between them, yes Im 100% accusing BoruSara because I have more than enough evidence to support it because thats how shameless they are they dont even try to hide it, after just 2 episodes the BoruSara jumped on the KawaSumi ship and started saying it was the definitive endgame along with BoruSara
These same people were once on the MitsuSumi and KawaHima train, do you really find it a coincidence they suddenly jumped onto KawaSumi when they only had 2 episodes of hostile interaction that has never been brought up or referenced ever again? those episodes have been treated largely as filler that literally had no impact on Kawaki whatsoever, whereas Sarada's interactions with him did.
You dont find it strange how quickly they switched up? wondering why that is? its simple, the BoruSara fandom, a very large majority of it, want to protect BoruSara at any cost, they tried it with MitsuSumi but that ship was dead on arrival, they then tried with KawaHima and pushed that for a while, but then they saw the golden opportunity to kill 2 birds with one stone thanks to SPs bullshit of including something that wasnt in the manga and completely contradicts it.
In short Kawaki and Sumire are BoruSara's biggest threats, so what better way to protect their ship and play keep away than by putting your two rivals together? do not be fooled, these people dont genuinely care about Kawaki or Sumire nor do they truly think their a good pairing, they simply want them out of the way and are trying to force them together even though Sumire has been confirmed to love Boruto TWICE.
I wont even go into the manga scenes between them because there IS none, Sumire is iliterally a bystander while the rest of the plot is just happening all around her, shes not a part of the plot shes WATCHING the plot. She's not Kawaki's nurse like fools try to say, shes literally KATASUKE'S ASSISTANT, Kawaki's ACTUAL nurse is Katasuke and Amado, Sumire just assists them and barely that since all we've seen her do is administer needles, thats it.
Yet these people insist their soulmates, why is that?
When the KawaSara fandom were excited about actual moments and development between them, Sarada reaching out to Kawaki after he had a ptsd episode, becoming his first friend, helping him to train, watching him training, comforting him when he was distraught over Naruto, opening up to him about something so personal to her that shes never told anyone else, working together to defeat Boro, Kawaki supporting her being captain over Boruto, risking his life and relying on Sarada to find the core, Sarada saving Kawaki from Boro, Sarada including Kawaki as a member of Team 7, Kawaki being grateful to Sarada for helping to save Naruto, both sharing the same idolization and admiration for Naruto, Sarada buying Kawaki flowers.
All of these meaningful moments and development of them as friends, nobody even was saying it was romantic, we just were admiring their friendship and potential to become more in the future.
What did they tell us? that we were reaching, those moments meant nothing, they hate eachother, Kawaki doesnt care about her, Sarada doesnt care about him, KawaSara is a crackship, it'll never happen theres been zero development and interaction.
Compare to KawaSumi
Kawaki distrusted Sumire and rejected her kindness by kicking the plate of food away, fought her for trying to force him back in captivity, Kawaki was bitten and nearly killed by Nue because she was careless and disobeyed orders, Kawaki says shes a monster like him and flees, Sumire eventually finds him after having a sudden change of heart now that she believes hes 'just like her', Sumire apologizes about Nue and then opens up about her father and how Naruto and Boruto saved her etc, the whole time Kawaki is dismissive of everything she says and says he doesnt trust her or anyone, he continues telling her to leave him alone and pulls away from her but she continues to push herself on him anyway and him continues to pull away and tries to leave, she stops him because hes still injured and offers to give him a painkiller but the sight of the needle triggers him and he starts choking her, she tries to reason with him to no avail, he loses all trust in her when police and T7 show up believing everything she said was a lie to stall him, leaves her knocked out on the ground, Sumire begs Naruto to go easy on him because she somehow thinks hes the same as her despite knowing nothing about him, and thats it, these interactions are never acknowledged ever again.
Yet guess which one got all the praise and called proof that their soulmates and destined to be endgame?
Dont try and fkin tell me KawaSara is a crackship when KawaSumi is the most forced ship in the new gen with nothing going for it, the feelings werent mutual and Kawaki actually DOESNT give af about Sumire, she's just there because she works for Katasuke, not because he wants her there, and she only volunteered to work with Amado because Kawaki is always with Boruto so she'd get to ask him about him, the boy she ACTUALLY likes and Kawaki KNOWS she likes.
Im tired of mfs tryna act like their ship is superior when its literally standing on twigs while KawaSara actually has a decent foundation and an established friendship. KawaSumi is not popular and didnt gain popularity because its a good ship, it gained it because the actual popular ship, BoruSara, jumped on board and started pushing it to protect BoruSara.
Yall not fkin slick, yall act like yall confident but you are the most insecure fandom in this mug, the thought of Kawaki getting closer to Sarada scared tf outta you which is why you cant even handle the thought of them even just being friends and wanna insist they hate eachother WHEN THEY DONT.
Your not foolin anybody, your scared to death and you know what? YOU SHOULD BE.
If theres one thing we all know is history always repeats itself in Naruto, Naruto was like Kushina and married someone like his dad, Sasuke was like Fugaku and married someone like his mother, Shikamaru was like his dad and married someone like his mother, Jiraiya and Obito who parreleled Naruto had an unrequited love that was never reciprocated just like Naruto's wasnt
So if Sarada is like Sakura and Boruto is like Naruto and Kawaki is like Sasuke, who's she most likely to end up with given the pattern thats been established in the series? why do you think antis keep sayin they dont wanna see NaruHina and SasuSaku 2.0 but had no problem with MinaKushi and FugaMiko 2.0? I rest my case.
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