#god I’m going to lose my mind in October

[miaiminnis]

and the old dalish curse means something new to me: take me as well, o fen’harel, like my hand and vallaslin 🐺🌿🌊

[no-144444]

FIC-TOBER

Hey everyone! I've decided to participate in the regualr kink-tober stuff (in my own way) :)

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I have a fic fr every day, I'll try and get them out at roughly the smae time but with work and school I'm a little busy so please be mindful of that and also enjoy! Some of these are requests, so thank you to the people that requested and please enjoy!

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October 1st: Making moves  Enemies to lovers -> Lando Norris x publicist  reader  Why did your client have to be such a pain in the ass? 

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October 2nd: The grid: Meet-cutes! 

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October 3rd: Brother’s teammate Brother’s teammate -> Jack Doohan x Gasly reader  It’s not your fault his new teammate is hot (smau)

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October 4th: Married man Private, but not secret -> Lewis Hamilton  Married? Maybe. But why does everyone else need to know? 

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October 5th: (smut): misguided mishaps One bed trope -> Lando Norris x Fewtrell reader  One bed… what could go wrong? 

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October 6th: Love and lies Fake relationship -> Alex Albon x reader “We don’t love each other, right?”

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October 7th: mi señora Everyone else ships you -> Franco Colapinto x Williams reader  “We’ve barely ever spoken!” “He’s in love with you!” 

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October 8th: Presenting y/n y/l/n! Our fav commentator Y/n Y/l/n! Tweets about our favourite F1 commentator!

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October 9th: Judgy McJudgy Pants or Osc? You decide! Things heating up between you and Judgy McJudgy pants...

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October 10th: Losing Battle Marriage of convenience -> Lance Stroll “Children?” “No way.”

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October 11th: Temptations (semi-smut 18+) Skinny dipping-> Max Verstappen god forbid a girl has hobbies tmz. 

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October 11th: Accidental injury Injury causer-> Logan Sargeant x engineer! reader “Watch where you’re going please?!” 

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October 12th: a story for a dinner party (smut 18+) Trapped in an elevator -> Liam Lawson x driver! reader “Don’t move!” “I’m not moving!”

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October 13th: Persistent Pestering Sworn off relationships and ‘I’m in love with you’ -> Charles LeClerc  Ferrari drivers are persistent. You’re not looking for love. Too bad he is. 

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October 14th:  The grid: wedding shenanigans! ୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ

October 15th: smile, even though it’s breaking. Sunshine vs. Grumpy -> Daniel Riccarrdo x RB mechanic! reader “Do you even stop smiling?” “Only when you’re not around.”

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October 16th: Listening ears on Matchmaking gone wrong -> Zhou Guanyo x Bottas reader  How come when you try to set Zhou up, it always ends badly? (smau)

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October 17th: Admin looking for love! Secret pining -> Carlos Sainz x williams admin! reader  Why did Alex Albon feel the need to post you on his story as a ‘lonely woman looking for love’? And why did Carlos Sainz dm you after it? 

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October 18th: Creepy guy who isn't all that creepy Coffee mix up -> Ollie Bearman  Why does your cappuccino taste like shit? And why are you being followed by a random 6 foot man? 

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October 19th: Opposites attract, right? Forgetful-> George Russell  “Where’s my-” “Babe, stop leaving things lying around!” 

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October 20th: Happy accident! Accidentally married -> Max Verstappen  Good night, right? 

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October 21st: Stoic much? Secret baby -> Oscar Piastri  “You have a wife?” “You have a kid?!” 

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October 22nd: The grid: Time for a hot lap! 

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October 23rd: All grown up! Childhood crush -> Arthur Leclerc  “I had a crush on you as a kid.” “Same.” “What?!”

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October 24th: Breaking up (not making up) The one that got away -> Kimi Antonelli  “So we’re done?” “yeah.”

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October 25th: Wallflowers like flowers too Friends to lovers -> Oscar Piastri  “I got you some flowers.” “Why?” “Because they’re pretty, like you.”

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October 26th: Thoughtless love Best friends to lovers -> Paul Aron Being with him is just easy.

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October 27th:Lovers in denial Won't admit it-> Logan Sargeant  “I don’t like her!” “Exactly, you love her!” 

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October 28th: Was it casual? Scared to commit -> Lando Norris  Aren't we just casual?

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October 29th: The Grid: Late for a date!

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October 30th:  The Grid: confesses! 

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October 31st: Chancer Halloween party -> Oscar Piastri Can he figure out who you are at the masquerade ball before you leave forever?

[deesseshesca]

PAC : What’s your sexual power (18+)

My pantie stuck in my ASS...

Good evening pretty souls, let's find out where does your sexual power reside and what does it need ?

SALE 

Until October 31 all readings on my ko-fi is 30$, only

Choose the image that’s speak to you and allow yourself to soak ONLY what’s reasoning with YOUR SITUATION 

Rules and Disclaimer 

I am the type of tarot reader to say as it is. Nothing is sugar coated but everything is sent with good intention. If you are not ready to face some truth, you should vagabond somewhere else. 

MINOR DON'T INTERACT WITH THIS POST 

MINOR DON’T READ THIS POST 

Basing myself on the legal age in my country which is 18

PILE 1 

Devil, 6 pentacles, 8 swords,10 swords, ''I want a second chance not being with you is killing me'', ''I have abandonment issue ! I grew up in a single parent household ! I had a rough childhood ! ''

Check in : You have an disorganized attachment style. 

Golden cooch/Golden tip

Women :  The way that you give head is very out of the box. Like you have your own little routine. Your own little reputation. You play with balls and you don’t mind a hairy private area. You don’t even mind playing with your partner anus if that really makes them lose it. If you are into women, you love lapping on that clit like your life depends on it while giving innocent eyes to your partner.  

Men: You love it when it is hairy. You also enjoy when the sex smells like it has none of the chemical smelling vanilla. I’m hearing saying: ‘’ Get that shit out of here…’’ You also don’t mind using toys especially if that helps your partner climax it does not make you feel less than. You may even have a great knowledge concerning dildos. If you are into men, you are down with anything handjob to pegging. 

Both: You guys enjoy a balanced sexual relationship. Is important for you that your partner reaches their climax but it is also necessary for you to see the stars at least one time. The issue is that you cheat on yourself. You might give your partner 8 orgasms hoping is good enough for them to at least touch you down there. First, sex  should never be calculated. It should be reciprocated. Don’t give because you need but because you want. You need to find a partner as generous as you. Only generous people deserve that much pleasure. Also y’all love to use sex as a way to get your lick back. You don’t mind your person cheating on you because it is an open door for you. That back and forth is going to keep going until somebody (usually them) realizes they are getting play 2. 

💌 : You can book a reading with me. I send the product in less than 48h and here are some reviews.

PILE 2 

King cups (reverse), queen cups, Knight pentacles, 8 wands (reverse) 

Stud 4 life

Women : You hate the breeding kink. Not because you don’t find it sexy or you are not attracted to it. Just because you hate the idea of falling pregnant. Y’all may still use the pulling out method. Y’all super power is how loving you are in a sexual setting. You love kissing your partner's thighs, kissing their chest, sucking on tits (yes… even when it is a man). You love leaving tender touches and caresses. A lot of men/women fall in love with you , but you really don’t want any commitment at the moment. Is not your fault that you know how to make love and heal with your touch. Why must they cage you with all the love you have to share? 

Men: Sneaky… you don’t like pulling out. You love nutting in the hole and see the hole dripping with your cum. Is a kink for u but you can’t imagine possibly being a dad. That’s a dangerous game, pile number 2, luck can only be by your side for so long. You hate it when your partner screams another name but yours, even God. You don’t want to hear nothing but your name. You might work extra hard just to hear your name being repeated over and over again. Your superpower is that of your kind. You love going quick and hard but when the fun is over you take care of the person. Aftercare is a must. You will clean them up. No cuddle but you will make sure they get home safely. Unfortunately you deny your true feelings often. Y’all may be very attractive and you think people are only with you for the looks and the dick. Thus is not false you also don’t choose the one that will be there for your heart. The one for your heart you keep at distance. There’s girl/boy you fucked and liked but you prefer keeping them close that way than being vulnerable. 

Both: Y’all body, mind and soul is begging for a break. No more sex please. At this point the distraction don’t even fucking work no more. There’s just too much going on to bust a nut. 

💌: Y'all need to start focusing in y'all career. There's a beautiful love story waiting for you at your future job. If you need any guidance's on finding your way back on track, you can always book a reading. I send the product in less that 48h. Here are some reviews.

PILE 3 

Blue balls/ Heavy tits

9 pentacles, 8 pentacles (reverse), Judgement, 3 pentacles 

Both: Y’all can afford to reopen the door. A lot of y'all haven’t seen a dick/clit in over a year. Give it up cold turkey to focus on your career or schooling. You  now have a job , you master boundaries and did the healing. Now it is tiiiiime. You have the power of knowing. You can sense all the sexual clues from your partner from just a look. You know when someone is nervous, you know when someone prefers closing  the light, you know it all. Give it a couple sexy dates, y’all can even guess their kinks. You make the sexual act passionate, intense and smooth. A real dream came true. Contrary the same way you create a safe place with your partner. The same way you should allow yourself in that space. A lot of y’all keep your dark desire to yourself. Forcing yourself to never reach the deep desiring climax sleeping in you. Y’all want a threesome. Don’t matter 2 women, a man or 2 men with a woman, you want to be three in that bed. Some of y’all want to experience a foursome with your bestie. I just heard ‘’ No homo’’ LOOOL. In the sense that … LOL. You want your bestie and you to be fucking on 2 other bestie in the same room. Y’all pushing the concept of sharing is caring.

💌 : Y'all need to stop trying to get in bed with vampire. Y'all want to help so bad people around you that you don't mind hating the experience as long as you the other person is safe. Also, CONGRATS babes. Y'all are sober and got your life back. If you want to know about the other blessings that life as for you, you can book a reading with me. I send the product in less than 48h and here are some reviews.

[capseycartwright]

tagged by @livingincolorsagain to do a 2024 fic roundup and i am v late but hope u forgive my tardiness i have been enjoying a new year rot of the highest order. anyway apparently i wrote a whole heap of fic this year and didn't realise it until i made this post.

april

every little thing the sun shows, well it’s worth it 

Buck should – he should be freaking out, right? He’d lived thirty-two years of his life without coming close to kissing another man, and it should be making him freak out that tonight, he did – but Buck felt flooded with the oddest sense of calm he’d ever experienced in his life.

He’d kissed a man.

or - after his kiss with Tommy, Buck goes to Hen.

stay close, little brother

hen and maddie share a quiet moment of pride about their little brother at the buckley-han wedding.

may

all roads lead to eddie diaz

Eddie inclined his head slightly. “He is,” he hummed in response. “But it sounds more like you’re wanting to pick a fight here than discuss our mutual appreciation for how great a person Buck is.

Tommy, at least, looked slightly embarrassed. “I don’t know how I didn’t see it before,” he admitted. “The way you feel about him.

or - eddie and tommy have a revelatory conversation about the buck of it all.

july

a sky full of stars

Christopher Diaz had always loved fireworks - the pop, and bang, and the way they would light up the sky with bright colours. His dad didn’t like fireworks though. His dad was afraid of them.

or, even in Texas, Christopher worries about his father spending the Fourth of July alone. So he texts Buck.

can't ignore the crazy visions of me in la

Margarita-drunk Buck ruminates on how beautiful Eddie Diaz is while his best friend is dancing to Chappell Roan. That's what LA pride is for, right?

- or, alternatively: Eddie spends his first pride as an out queer man in a gay club, and Buck is in love with him about it.

october

oh what a terrible honor it's been (to learn that my blessings are things you call sins)

Hey God, it's me, Eddie. I hope you don’t mind that I’m sitting in your house thinking gay thoughts.

Eddie couldn’t help but giggle to himself as he thought the words. If he couldn’t be a bit silly while having a sexuality crisis in a Catholic church – when could he? 

Christopher leaves for Texas, Eddie goes back to therapy, unearths an emotional lockbox he had been fourteen years old when he buried, and has a lot of thoughts about how Buck is sunshine incarnate. In hindsight, it probably should have been obvious he wasn't straight.

knowing damn well i haven't been touched by you

Buck’s been having a really weird year. Buck died, and he realised he was bisexual, and he got a boyfriend, and Christopher left and went to Texas after he walked in on Eddie kissing his dead mother’s doppelganger, Eddie had grown a depression mustache, and Gerrard was back at the helm of the 118 and Buck felt like he was starring in a Netflix Original about how a perfectly normal, functional, member of society was driven to commit murder.

- or, Buck's got a boyfriend, Eddie comes out and starts dating men, and Buck loses his entire mind, actually.

november

miss me, but let me go

“I have - I’ve carried this grief, for you, for so long, and I know I can’t let it all go, because a part of me is always going to grieve for you,” Eddie paused. “But I can’t feel like this forever, Shannon. I don’t think you’d want me to, either. So - I need to let some of it go. Okay? I need to - I need to be myself now. For me, and for Christopher. I want to be me.”

On November 1, Eddie builds an altar for Shannon and finds a way to let her go.

you're my sun, my moon, my guiding star

“Fine, let’s have it your way then,” Eddie slammed his phone down on the kitchen table. “You set me up a dating profile then – Hinge, Grindr, whatever you fucking want, Buck. Set me up a dating profile, and you pick which random man I need to sleep with to make it so you feel okay about wanting me.” 

in which evan buckley gets dumped, gets drunk with his best friend, realises he's in love with said best friend, and lets his abandonment issues get the best of him. because your first is never your last, right? so buck can't be eddie's first: he needs to be his last.

december

i'll be home for christmas (if only in my dreams)

It was a silly thing, Buck had started, right when Eddie first got to El Paso – we’re looking at the same sky, he’d quipped, on one of their nightly Facetime calls.

Even when they were far apart from each other, they were still able to look up at the same stars, and if they just remembered that, maybe the distance between El Paso, and Los Angeles, wouldn’t feel so cavernous. That’s what Buck had promised him.

simply having a wonderful christmastime (maybe)

Eddie's family were about to arrive for the first Christmas they were hosting in LA as as couple, and, well, Buck felt like he was on the verge of a panic attack so great it would be in the Guinness Book of World Records for the destruction it was liable to cause.

or - the buckley-diazes are hosting christmas for the first time, and buck is freaking out, a little. he has a good reason, he swears.

see the lights, hang the stockings

Eddie finds out that Buck has never ever had a Christmas stocking of his own. He's very determined to change that and share a few Diaz family traditions.

everyone has probably done this already so apologies but tagging @doeeyeseddie @thatbuddie @clusterbuck @hattalove @mellaithwen @sibylsleaves @piningbuddies @eddiebabygirldiaz @hotshotsxyz

[girlactionfigure]

Enemies With Keffiyehs and the Enemies Without

URI KURLIANCHIK

“The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.”

—Joseph Heller, Catch-22

In times of war and strife, it’s important not to lose track of the difference between enemies and opponents. 

An opponent is a person with whom you share a goal but disagree on the methods. For example, I don’t consider Biden or the Labour party in Israel to be my enemies. I think they’re very wrong about their methods on how to achieve victory and peace, dangerously wrong even, but I don’t think they actively wish to harm me. They’ve analyzed the situation poorly, reached the wrong conclusions, and came up with a bad solution. Is this dangerous? Oh yes! Is it hostile? No. 

Surely, no one will doubt the patriotism of the current head of the Labour party, Yair Golan, who was among the first to charge into the Gaza Envelope on October 7, driving a civilian car, to save lives. He just doesn’t understand the psychology of the enemy so he makes poor political decisions. I’ll act within the best of my ability and within the limits of the law and civil decency to make sure he doesn’t get any official positions, but I certainly don’t wish him any harm.

An enemy is someone who wants to destroy you. It can be someone hiding in the ruins with a rocket launcher, or someone manipulating global media against from a fancy office in a skyscraper. It makes no difference.

Obviously a Hezbollah militant is an enemy. Greta Thunberg or Ilhan Omar are also enemies. Their objective is my destruction and I see no reason to treat the Nordic advertisement against drinking during pregnancy any differently than I would the bronze age barbarian hiding in a cave with murder in his heart. 

Both literally want to kill me.

They say all is fair in love and war. This is a battle for survival. You owe the enemy no civility, no fairness, no understanding, no compassion. 

This is something that people must understand: when we reach this level of hostility, this is no longer a debate. This is war. Any person who talks about “decolonizing Palestine” or “dismantling Israel” wants to murder you.

The only thing you owe your enemy is defeat.

Not in a million years would I condone violence against Kamala Harris, whom I consider a poor politician. I explained to people why I believe that voting for her would be a mistake but that’s the extent of the actions I’d condone “against” her. I’m happy that she lost the election because I think this is in the best interest of basically the entire human race, herself included. Whenever engaging her supporters online, I always strove to act with civility and debate in good faith. We all want America and Israel to be prosperous and successful, we just disagree on how to achieve this.

Enemies, on the other hand… Well, let me tell you a story. 

Julius Streicher was was the founder and publisher of the violently racist newspaper Der Stürmer. Imagine if Nick Fuentes and Jackson Hinkle had a baby (I apologize for that image) in a world with no community guidelines.

Julius was such an extremist that he was condemned by other Nazis. 

That’s right. That guy was too racist and hateful for the god damn Nazis. This, along with his generally disgusting behavior, resulted in him losing all party offices by 1940. 

He spent the rest of the war as a very rich and very hateful publisher.

In 1945, Streicher was captured in Austria by a group of American officers. Streicher was not a member of the military and did not take part in the planning of the Holocaust or the invasion of other nations. Nevertheless, he was sentenced to death. 

Why? Because he was an asshole.

Okay, it’s not something you can put in an official paper. Here’s a quote from the actual judgement:

“For his 25 years of speaking, writing and preaching hatred of the Jews, Streicher was widely known as 'Jew-Baiter Number One.' In his speeches and articles, week after week, month after month, he infected the German mind with the virus of anti-Semitism… Streicher's incitement to murder and extermination at the time when Jews in the East were being killed under the most horrible conditions clearly constitutes persecution on political and racial grounds.”

I’m sure you can think of one or two people in the West to whom this description would apply perfectly.

After October 7, these people cannot claim ignorance of the genocidal intentions of Iran and her proxies. This was probably the best-documented genocidal massacre in human history. 

There’s no way Spanish Prime Minster Pedro Sánchez didn’t know Israel was being bombed by five countries when he tried to block weapon shipments to Israel. None of the groups bombing Israel ever hid their genocidal intentions towards the Israeli people. Nevertheless, he did it. 

He’s an enemy.

The objective of these people is the destruction of the Israeli people. They’re not naively trying to achieve peace using the wrong methods. They’re not just trying to stop the war because they love humanity. No adult is that ignorant.

They want Jewish blood and lots of it.

Their goal is the same as Stericher’s, only they’re more careful with their words. In no small part because of what happened to Streicher, whose genocidal rants made him very rich but ultimately bought him the noose.

So keep this in mind. We have opponents and we have enemies. 

Don’t confuse the two and act accordingly.

[mitigaters]

For @jesperandwylansittinginnatree :))) Exy Junkies plug at the end <3

“I’m telling you Andrew, this place is fucking haunted.”

Andrew was trying to ignore Kevin, he really was, but it was the fourth time that week he had said it. Kevin wasn’t a ‘believe in the paranormal’ type person so Andrew was growing more and more inclined to believe him. Kevin ignored the fact that Andrew was ignoring him and continued. 

“This is, without a doubt, one hundred percent, not the goddamn protein shake that I made. I do not drink the chocolate, it tastes like strawberry and you know how I feel about strawberry-” And god, did Andrew know, Kevin hated nothing more in life than strawberry flavored anything. He was an absolute nuisance about it. He said it was the main reason he liked men: they didn’t smell like strawberries. Apparently women did. “-and there were seeds at the bottom of my goddamn blender.”

“Maybe you got a shit supply of powder.”

Kevin glared at him. “It is powder, Andrew, I would have noticed if there were tiny black devil seeds in it.”

Andrew snorted and grabbed the blender to wash it. Sure enough, there were strawberry seeds inside. Weird. 

“So you jump straight to…haunted?” Andrew wiggled his fingers at Kevin for dramatic effect. 

“Yes for that reason and others.”

Andrew nodded, remembering Kevin’s other ‘experiences’. “Ah yes, the writing on the mirror after you shower, the changing of songs on your Spotify when you’re working out in my living room, the way you always manage to lose the controller in a four second span of changing the channel. All these things say to me is that you are at my house way too goddamn much. Also, if you’re using the Vitamix then you clean the Vitamix.” Said Vitamix being one of the first reasons Kevin started visiting. 

Kevin started grumbling about Andrew having better water pressure and a better air conditioner despite them having the same water pressure and the same central air. Andrew, again, ignored him. Kevin got quiet for a moment and Andrew knew exactly where his thoughts were going. He had known Kevin long enough to foresee it.

“It’s nearly Halloween.”

Andrew hummed in response. “I’m aware.”

“Are you- are you…I mean, do you-”

“Spit it out, Day.”

“Whatareyougoingtodothisyear?” A jumble of words fell from Kevin’s mouth, the embodiment of anxiety when it cmae to breaching certain topics with Andrew. Despite their long and tumultuous friendship, there was one thing Kevin knew as a fact: Andrew Minyard loathed Halloween. He was the type of teenager to kick pumpkins that he saw on the sidewalk.

Andrew avoided stores the entire month of October (except he enjoyed the day after Halloween when all that candy went on sale). He skipped social media, work, all of it- he couldn’t be bothered. His reasoning was nonexistent, it was just a holiday that he despised. Kevin stopped asking why years ago.

Andrew shrugged one shoulder, closing himself off to any further comment on the discussion. “Get out of my apartment, I’m going to bed.”

Kevin squinted at Andrew. “It’s 11am.”

“And my sentence still rings true.” 

Kevin huffed, grabbed his smoothie, left the dirty dishes for Andrew, and retreated back to his own apartment. Andrew ignored the sink that was now half full because Kevin measured out all of his ingredients in individual ramekins that he bought for Andrew claiming they were for him despite Kevin being the only one to ever use them. 

He stared at the ceiling as he laid in his bed and let his mind wander about Kevin’s implications. The signs were there, though Kevin paid attention and Andrew ignored them, as was his dominant personality trait: avoidance. As his eyes started to close, however, he heard stomping above his head which was odd considering he lived on the top floor. His complex consisted of him, Kevin, and 25 other old people so the odds of one of them being on the roof was slim. Andrew went up there frequently to smoke and had not once seen another soul up there.

He closed his eyes again. More stomping. He decided that was as good a time as any for a smoke break and rolled off of his bed.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾

There was someone on the roof. Andrew could only see his back as he stood facing toward the city. Andrew felt like he was being pulled toward an edge that he didn’t go near due to his acrophobia. And yet…

“Are you going to kill yourself?”

The other man’s flinch was full body. He turned to peek over his shoulder and the color of his eyes almost shocked Andrew. Almost. 

“Me?”

Andrew squinted at him. He waved his hand around to indicate the lack of any other people on the rooftop. “Obviously.”

“You can - you’re-” 

“Can you at least do it elsewhere, you’re going to lower my property value.”

The redhead snorted. “You owe one of these shitholes?”

Andrew shook his head and tapped a cigarette out of his pack. “No. I do not own one of these shitholes. Do you own one of these shitholes?”

He rolled his eyes. “No.” He glanced at the cigarette hanging from Andrew’s mouth. “Can I have one?”

Andrew raised an eyebrow at him. “Really?”

“Nah,” He turned back toward the skyline. “I don’t smoke.”

Andrew lit his cigarette and stayed far away from the edge of the building though he couldn’t stray his eyes from the redhead teetering dangerously close to the edge. It was only another few minutes before Andrew said something about it.

“Can you maybe get the fuck away from there?”

He turned again, his eyes somehow bluer than the first time. “From the ledge?” He laugh, slow and soft. “Why? Nothing can hurt me, 6A.”

Andrew stared at him for a moment, realizing the nickname was his apartment number. He realized he has seen that red hair before hanging around his floor. “Asphalt hurts. Looks like it hurt you already.” Andrew tapped his cheek.

Ginger snorted. “Nah, that was a cigarette lighter. Asphalt burns are on my ass though..” 

Andrew scoffed and blew smoke toward him, the curls of off-white disappearing with the wind. “Who did you let get that close to your face with a cigarette lighter?” 

“I didn’t let her do shit,” His response was sharp. “Why?” But not as sharp as the grin he showed Andrew. “Does it make me ugly or something?”

“Nah.” Andrew shrugged. “I’d still blow you.”

His face changed instantly though Andrew didn’t know the other man well enough to know whether it was surprise or disgust. His face was so goddamn pretty that Andrew hoped it was the former. He blinked in surprise. He hadn’t thought of someone in that way since…well, a decade. The softness was gone after a short moment, however, and he cooled his expression.

“Oh.”

Andrew let out a soft huff of air and dropped his cigarette butt to the ground to stomp it out. He turned on his heel and went back to his apartment, sure that the pretty ginger haired boy on the roof was not going to cause a crime scene on the sidewalk in front of his apartment building.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾

Kevin was talking to the older woman that lived across the hall from Andrew in what Andrew called one of her weekly therapy sessions. She wasn’t a therapist, not anymore anyway, but she brought out a side of Andrew that nobody else had before and she knew far too much about him. They had hot chocolate sessions once every other week that could go hours and hours. 

Kevin liked to overshare which was how he and the woman, Bee, had initially met. Kevin was blabbing, which Andrew would typically ignore, but Bee mentioned something that he found interesting. 

“Oh, yes, I agree. There’s certainly something going on in this building. I thought it was just my memory as I was getting older-”

“What’s going on? Is everything okay?” Andrew interrupted, a frown pulling at the edge of his mouth. 

She waved his anxiety down. “Everything is fine, Andrew, I was telling Kevin here about the randomly appearing money.”

“The…” Andrew paused and glanced at Kevin who was paying far too much attention to Bee’s story. “Randomly appearing…money.”

Bee nodded. “Couch cushions, empty grocery bags under my sink, stuffed in hot chocolate boxes- money!”

“Money?” Was Andrew’s dry and confused reply.

“Money,  always a 50 dollar bill, never more, never less.” Bee explained.

Kevin was frowning but Andrew was…perplexed. If it was a ghost, it was a nice ghost? But bothered Kevin? He supposed it was still a nice ghost in that regard because Kevin was annoying and his presence wasn’t always wanted-

“Why do I get disgusting smoothies and you get money?”

Bee and Andrew both laughed at his expense, though Andrew’s amusement was internal. Bee patted him on the shoulder reassuringly and Kevin smiled, despite it all.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾

“Andrew, have you seen my shoes?” Came Kevin’s greeting from Andrew’s front door.

Andrew stifled a sigh from where he sat in the middle of his couch, halfway through a pint of chocolate ice cream. He pointed upward and Kevin groaned. Andrew continued staring at his nearly empty ice cream container and he frowned at it. He didn’t recall eating that much. Kevin was yapping again so Andrew looked up with a glare.

“Would you shut the fuck up?”

Kevin ignored him. He was getting far too good at that. “Do you know how I know this was a ghost?” Kevin didn’t wait for an answer that wasn’t coming. “You are 5 foot nothing. There’s no plausible way that you would be able to reach this.”

“I have a step stool.” Andrew admitted, if only to prove Kevin wrong.

“You do not.”

Andrew jerked his thumb toward the kitchen. “Between the fridge and the wall.” Kevin checked and sure enough, he had a stepstool. Kevin glared at it as if chucking it out of the window would make his beliefs any less accurate. 

Andrew rolled his eyes. Now his ice cream was gone. Maybe there was a ghost. 

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾

Andrew saw him again, hanging outside of Bee’s unit. He had originally thought he lived there until he discovered it was in fact Bee that lived there. Bee didn’t seem to pay any mind to him. He even brought him up to Kevin but Kevin claimed to have not seen him before, though he barely saw Andrew most days due to his lack of peripheral vision.

At their fourth meeting, Andrew was starting to notice odd things about the ginger who lived somewhere in his building. He didn’t blink. Andrew thought he was crazy at first but the next time they were on the roof together, not conversing at all, Andrew studied him. He didn’t blink. Ever. Andrew had an eidetic memory, not quite photographic, but enough to be able to notice that that red-haired boy never blinked. He was far too jittery for Andrew to notice if he was even breathing or not but Adnrew assumed since he was alive, he would have to be breathing. Then again, the fact that it was reminiscent of Bella Swan in that one scene in that one movie that Andrew had not seen four times, was suspicious.

“Staring.” Andrew commented, not admitting that he was doing the same.

“Takes a starer to know a starer.” 

“Did that sound good in your head?” Andrew questioned, stubbing out his cigarette.

“It did. Did it sound good coming out of my mouth?” Ginger asked with a snarky grin.

“It did.” Andrew responded without missing a beat. “What’s your name?”

“Neil.”

“Aren’t you going to ask mine?”

Neil shook his head, turning back to stare at the skyline. “I’d rather you tell it to me freely.” 

That shocked Andrew. Andrew didn’t get shocked. “It’s Andrew.”

Neil side-eyed him. “That wasn’t me asking.”

“Maybe not, but it was me telling.”

Neil let out a sigh breath and nodded slowly. “Cool.”

Andrew glared at him for a moment then left the roof. 

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾

“How are you settling in?”

“I’ve been here for 9 months, Nicky.” Andrew responded dryly.

“Still!” Nicky insisted on the other end of the phone. “Have you met anybody who catches your eye?”

Andrew knew what Nicky was really asking and rolled his eyes. The fact that Neil came to his mind immediately pissed him off but he found his mind wandering regardless. He rubbed his eyes roughly and realized Nicky was answer whatever question he just asked. 

“I don’t think so, why do you ask?”

“What?”

“I said, ‘why do you ask?’” Andrew repeated.

“Why do I ask what?”

“Nicky, for fucks sake.”

“Oh,” Nicky paused. “You were serious. You asked if I knew a blue eye red haired demon that seemed to live in your building. And I said I don’t. Why do you ask?” Then Nicky also caught up to the conversation and realized what he had asked Andrew to get that response. “Wait! Is that who you have a crush o-”

Andrew ended the call.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾

Neil was on the roof again that evening. He gave Andrew a small smile as he approached, something he had been doing. 

“What unit do you live in?”

Neil blinked at him. “9F.”

“There’s a 9? And an F?”

“Yup.”

Andrew wasn’t sure that was true but he refrained from pushing it. “Have any interest in a movie marathon?”

“A movie marathon.”

“Horror movies.”

“A horror movie marathon.” 

“If you just repeat everything I say, I’m going to rescind the invite.” Andrew stated, staring at Neil.

“Now?” Andrew nodded. Neil gazed out at the skyline for another moment before looking back at him. “Okay.” 

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾

They’re 3 movies in when Andrew realizes Neil isn’t breathing. There’s no way. He seemed to have relaxed during the movie and forgot to be pretending to be human. He doesn’t blink. He doesn’t breathe. He also hasn’t touched the popcorn or used the bathroom once. A zombie? No, he hadn’t made a move for Andrew’s brains. Vampire? Nope, he had seen him in the sun several times. Werewolf was possible, there wasn’t a full moon that week but Neil was pretty short for a werewolf. Plus, a red haired werewolf? Unlikely. 

“Staring.” 

Andrew blinked at him. “What?”

Neil side-eyed him. “You’re staring at me. Why?”

Andrew turned to the TV and popped a kernel of popcorn into his mouth. “I’m watching this movie.”

“Name it.” Neil deadpanned.

Andrew chewed thoughtfully. He had no fucking clue what they were watching it was…Night of the Living Something or The Hunted Something or Something- “Fuck off.” Neil snorted, turning his attention back to the movie. Andrew push the popcorn toward him, experimentally.

“Allergic.”

Andrew was staring at him again. “To what? Corn?”

“Butter.”

“There’s no butter on it.” Andrew stated, pushing the bowl closer.

“Salt.” Neil said instead.

“You’re allergic to salt.” Andrew deadpanned.

“Yup.”

“You could just say no.”

Neil turned to look at him as if the notion was out of this world. “Oh. Well then, no.”

Andrew took the bowl back.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾

Andrew’s suspicions only heightened after that as Neil became more and more comfortable in his presence. He was walking into the building one evening when he spotted Neil on the roof. Andrew gave him a two-fingered salute in greeting and Neil grinned sharply at him. Andrew stepped into the foyer and pressed the button on the elevator.

The elevator opened and Neil was standing there.

Andrew stayed still for a moment but eventually stepped into the elevator. They didn’t speak as the elevator climbed floors, Andrew watched the numbers change. When they arrived at his floor, he turned to Neil and invited him over. Neil accepted, as he had been lately.

“You’re not human, are you?”

Neil stopped in his tracks from where he was headed to sit on Andrew’s couch and turned toward him. “What?”

“What are you?”

Neil laughed, his eyes shifting. He tried to play it off but he was clearly looking for an exit. Andrew would let him run, if he needed to, but Neil stayed put, his body relaxing.

“I’m-” Neil hesitated, looking around once more. He sighed. “I’m a ghost.”

“I fucking knew it.”

Neil blinked at him. “What?” Neil stared at Andrew as he listed off all of the reasons why he didn’t believe that Neil was human. “Oh. Shit you noticed all that?”

“Yes.” Andrew responded simply through narrowed eyes. “But you can sit on my couch? How can you do that?”

Neil shrugged. “I can manifest some semblance of what I guess could be called powers the closer we get to Halloween, otherwise I usually just sit on the roof.”

“What the fuck.”

“Yeah, it’s weird, but ever since you moved in here, on Halloween I’m able to be human. Well, I guess not human per se, but…my skin is warm.” Neil commented as he studied his own scarred fingers.

“What happens if you touch me right now?” Andrew couldn’t help but ask.

“Are you asking me to?” A nod. Neil blinked at him, slowly, watching him. Andrew’s eyes were brighter than usual, maybe with excitement. “Um. Okay. It’s gonna be weird though.” Neil stepped in front of Andrew and Andrew felt absolutely no presence from him. 

Neil held out a hand for Andrew to take, letting him initiate the contact (or lack thereof). Andrew reached his own hand out and placed in on top of Neil’s. He could feel….something. There was definitely something there.

Neil’s eyes widened. “What is that?”

“You tell me, Casper.” Andrew muttered back. He raised his hand slightly but he only felt a coldness as his hand passed through Neil’s.

Neil brought his hand back to his face and stared at it, rubbing his fingers together. “Weird.”

Andrew rolled his eyes. “Why do you start manifesting some semblance of powers near Halloween?”

Neil stared at him. “Because…it’s… Halloween… Is that really surprising?”

“Halloween fucking sucks.”

“Wrong opinion but okay. I draw energy from full moons as well, that’s when you usually see me. Or when I usually see you.” Neil said, his tone lowering a bit.

Andrew raised an eyebrow at him. “How many times have you seen me?”

Neil stared at the ceiling. “A few.”

“Liar.”

“A lot.”

“Exactly.”

“27 times. I’ve seen you 27 times.” Neil said with a huff. 

“That’s pretty stalker-like to know that.” Andrew points out, satire lacing his tone, but he changes the subject swiftly. “How’d you die?”

The look that passed through Neil’s face was only there for a second. Any other person wouldn’t have noticed it, but Andrew did. Neil turns to the side but Andrew waits patiently. It was a silent four minutes before Neil spoke.

“My dad caught up to me.” Andrew hums in response, knowing all too well the trauma of an abusive family. Neil continues. “He was the Butcher.” Andrew eyed him for a moment before the name registered, dumped somewhere in the back of his memories. 

“Shit.”

“Yeah. Do I have to-”

Andrew scoffs at the implication. “You don’t have to do anything, Neil. You didn’t have to even tell me-” 

“I know, I know,” Neil cuts Andrew off with a stern expression. “I know I didn’t have to. I wanted to. End of story.”

“End of story.” Andrew murmurs.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾

The next time they see each other, after Neil needing a trauma dumping related break from Andrew, is on Halloween. The clock strikes midnight and Halloween has begun. Neil knocks on Andrew door (pounds on his door because Andrew is asleep because again, midnight).

Andrew yanks the door open with a disgruntled, “What the fuck,” and Neil is to gleefully cheerful at Andrew’s bedhead to pay attention to his nasty mood. He pushes past Andrew and into his living room. 

“Happy Halloween, fucker!” Neil is dressed up, like an idiot but still dressed up, as who Andrew assumes is supposed to be Ron Weasley. Either that or Ed Sheeran, Andrew truly isn’t sure. 

Andrew turns slowly, very slowly, to scowl at Neil. Then he blinks. Blinks again. Blinks one more time. “Come here.”

Neil steps toward Andrew, their shoes inches from touching at the tip. “Yes, Andrew?”

“Happy Halloween.” Andrew murmurs as he hold a hand out in invitation. Neil takes it. He…takes it. “Holy shit.”

Neil shrugs as Andrew’s fingers glide over his hand. “It happens once every other month. I guess I’ve just never had someone to show it off to. Cool, huh?”

Andrew immediately withdraws his hand to flick Neil in the forehead. In his warm forehead. Neil winces and rubs the reddening spot where a lightning symbol is drawn which only confuses Andrew further.

“Ow, you fucker! What was that for?”

“Holy shit.” Andrew repeats. “You’re real.”

“I am today.” Neil murmurs, eyeing Andrew. “Stop making it weird.”

“I’m not making it weird.”

“You are.”

“I’m not.”

“You a- dude. Fuck off. Wanna watch a movie?” Neil suggests, already on his way to Andrew’s couch.

“Fine. Asshole.” Andrew relents easily and falls onto the couch next to Neil, knowing full well he will be fast asleep in 30 minutes or less. "Also... are you supposed to be Ron Weasley?"

Neil huffs and crosses his arms. "I'm Harry Potter."

"You're really not." Andrew points out. "That is specifically Ron's wand, complete with the tape after it was broken by the Whomping Willow."

"What the fuck is a Whomping Willow?" Neil mutters, still in denial that he has all the pieces of a Ron Weasley costume. "This is Harry Potter, isn't it?" He scowls as he lifts the fringe on his forehead to show the scar that appears to have been drawn with eyeliner. 

"Are you asking me or telling me?" Andrew asks. Neil hesitates and Andrew has his answer. "You haven't even read Harry Potter, have you?"

"I thought it was a movie." Neil says, scratching his false scar. One would think that someone with so many actual scars would draw a fake one better.

"You haven't even watched it?!"

Neil points at his face. "Ghost, remember? I don't really have a choice of what I consume."

Andrew makes a face. "Wait, how old are you?" Before Neil can answer, to his increasing dismay, there’s another knock on his door. “Kill me now.”

“I can, ya know. I have hands now.” Neil says as he stands to, for whatever reason, answer Andrew’s door. “Kevin is here.”

Kevin stares down at the pint sized redhead answering Andrew’s door. “Who in the fuck.”

Neil walks away, leaving the door open, and plops down next to Andrew who does not look up at him as he introduces Neil the Friendly Ghost. 

Kevin narrows his eyes for a moment but enters Andrew apartment anyway. “Whatever. Are you going to Nicky’s party tonight?”

“No.” Neil answers. 

Kevin gapes at him. “I was not talking to you.”

“Weird.” Neil responds as he flips through the selection of horror movies. “Could’ve sworn you were.”

“Why would I be talking to you?” Kevin asks as he settles onto the couch, much to Andrew’s dismay.

“That’s kind of rude. You come into Andrew’s house as a guest and you don’t address his other guest? I guess i assumed you were a better person than that.” Neil clicks on something that he knows Kevin has been scared of before (due to his previous ghost-like snooping).

“For the love of God, change this. Now.” Kevin says, pressing himself back into the cushions as Andrew snorts from his burrito corner.

“I shall absolutely not do that, but I will take your suggestion into consideration for future impromptu movie nights at Andrew’s apartment.” Neil responds, kicking his feet onto Andrew’s coffee table. He is immediately jabbed in the thigh for it and he lowers them and chuckles at a quiet ‘holy shit’ he hears from Andrew.

“I don’t think I like you.” Kevin states, reaching for the remote.

Neil moves it out of his way. “I don’t think I like you either, You know what’s better than you? Strawberries. God, I love strawberries. Andrew, do you have any strawberries?”

Kevin turns to him slowly. “Andrew, who in the fuck is the abomination sitting on my spot on the couch?” 

“Don’t talk about yourself like that, Kevin.” Neil says as he tosses a kernel of popcorn into his mouth. “I love popcorn so much.”

Andrew side eyes him. “You can eat?”

“Yes, Andrew, I can eat.” Neil responds as he takes another mouthful.

“Why wouldn’t he be able to eat? Is he a ghost or something?” Kevin asks with an eyeroll.

Neil and Andrew share a long look that Kevin either does not see or completely ignores (it’s the latter). The movie was scary, Kevin screamed four times, Andrew fell asleep, and Neil enjoyed three entire bowls of popcorn.

[pastelpousay]

“Ask the Girl”

A/N: Fun fact I wrote this entire thing on paper 🙈 I’m so silly right 😋😽 I mostly wrote this so I can get used to writing them interact before I work on the second chapter which should be done by Late October if I lock in but yayyyyy Hadina content!!

Warnings: thoughts of self doubt, slightly ‘possessive’ thoughts (from Hades of course what else could you expect) kind of ooc Hades, this is really really long 😭but that’s it I believe.

For the longest time now, Rina has had a massive crush on Hades, and with how well he was able to read people— he sure as hell took notice after at least a couple months. It was so incredibly obvious, the fact he hadn’t noticed her behavior sooner damn near made him want to laugh out loud. How had he not realized? All the signs were there; she did everything he asked without much question, always taking over his work when the both of them were far too tired to, her mood boosting practically any time she saw him. All this on top of the general respect, kindness and compassion she showed towards him. She had never did any of that out of fear of him, he could look into her eyes and tell how utterly sincere she was and gods— that look she gave him was just everything to him. It was sweet like honey yet soft as the clouds on Olympus. Gods it just made the man melt, but oh- did it irritate him so. That lovey dovey feeling in his chest whenever the two of them held eye contact made his nonexistent heart thump. Why did he feel this way? It make him feel so…weak.

Hades took a moment to lean back in his office chair as he let out a rather exasperated sigh. He couldn’t believe this was happening right now, what the hell was wrong with him? As of recent he had been a bit on edge, how had Rina not noticed his so obvious advances? It practically drove the God mad. Was she that obvious with her feeling and that oblivious to his? You’d think an offer to be a God’s plus one to an Olympic party would be enough to get the point across, but apparently not. Perhaps he had misinterpreted her behaviors into something he would rather it be than just plain kindness.

‘I’m overthinking all this- I need forget about it— besides I’m Hades, lord of the dead. I don’t need to be worried over such a nonsensical thing— it’s only a little rejection, no biggie.’ Hades sat there for a moment thinking it over. Had she actually rejected him? Why was he even still thinking about this— he had work to do, he didn’t need to be stressing over something as futile this.

Hades sat forward in his chair, attempting to reassure himself that rejection was no big deal, he was so used to it after all.

But, it was a big deal to him, it really was. He could lie to anyone else about that but not to himself. He hated that feeling more than anything else in the world, and to be rejected…rejected by Rina…it felt like a stake to the heart. Soon enough the poor God began to overthink more and more as seconds passed by, the papers on his desk collecting dust at this point.

Maybe he had misread her kindness as a sign that she had been harboring feelings for him, perhaps she were like that with everyone? That thought…oh boy did it make his blood boil. He knew Rina was a kind soul but, he had to be the only one Rina acted like this with, that gave him little offerings, that smiled at him so warmly, that spoke to him in such a kind and sincere way. Because in his somewhat

‘sick and twisted’ mind she was his and he was hers, and it would have the stay that way. Dare he saw her that close with anyone else and he’d lose his damn mind.

‘…my gods— I’m starting to think Aphrodite might have something against me with all this bullshit.’ Hades thought to himself, trying to provide reason for all these thoughts and feelings that plagued him. Trying to ignore them was pointless— he just couldn’t get that girl out of his head.

He had to be honest with himself…he wanted to go to that party with Rina, badly. He didn’t even want to go to the party if he were being honest. He just wanted to be with her, not doing any work, hell— they didn’t even have to be talking he just wanted to be next to her, holding her, looking into those gorgeous big brown eyes of hers and practically drowning in them. That’s all he wanted…he wanted her. And if he wanted her, then oh boy was he gonna have her.

Now Hades really wasn’t focused on his work. Perhaps he needed a break, or was that just an excuse to run into Rina?

‘Holy fuck I needs some coffee—‘

…☆…

All day Rina had been running back and forth from her chores and her usual tasks. She had been hyper-focusing on cleaning the kitchen since Pain and Panic decided they were ‘above doing dirty work.’ Gods- as much as she loved the two, the fact she had to work twice as hard because the other two were slacking off. She honestly couldn’t care less not though, she were far too tired to and cleaning wasn’t much of a big deal to her anyways, well…compared to the usual work she was given so she didn’t mind it all too much.

She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t been looking over at the doorway the entire time…waiting for a certain someone to make his entrance in the room. She knew he was probably busy but this had to be the area where the two ran into each other the most— at least when he hadn’t called upon her.

‘Whatever— need to get back to work anyways.’ She waved the thought away as she continued mopping, thinking mindlessly as she did. What was that girl thinking about? Was she even thinking at all? The thoughts began to start flooding to her again. They always did it’s like they were haunting her, taunting her with something she didn’t even think she deserved.

What even was it about him? That charm, the jokes he made that always had her giggling, his so honest behavior that she dearly appreciated. Why was she so stuck on Hades in the first place? The thought of him being near her made her legs feel like led, she couldn’t help but hate and love that feeling all at once.

Then she thought back to when he asked her to go to that party with her…why did she say no?

Rina was well aware that she lacked most basic social skills and were far too nervous to talk to people unfamiliar to her— especially the gods but, wouldn’t it be worth it to at least have a reason to be with him other than just sorting papers?

Seems this girl had jinxed herself quite a bit, because the very man she had been thinking of had just walked in.

She could already tell it was him thanks to the hollowness in the walls of his abode, you could practically hear a hair drop from a mile away.

“Hey, you’re…cleaning? Again? I swear I saw you mopping in here two days ago—“

Hades inquired.

“Oh, yeah- yeah I was. I’m just in here trying to tidy up a bit” Rina explained.

“Yeah, yeah, because mopping the entire kitchen floor is definitely just ‘tidying up’.” He said chuckling a bit at her explanation as he walked past her.

“Well I would like for it to stay as clean as possible.” She responded in a slightly agitated tone, usually if it were anyone else he would have something to say but the sound of Rina’s rather quieted voice saying it amused him to no end.

“You neat freaks I swear—“

“Hey! I can’t help that I like it clean! Besides it’s nice, and it keeps everything in an organized manner.” She said with a huff in her voice.

“Shall we take a look at your room?”

“We shall not—“

“Mhm, thought so.” Hades said smiling, rolling his eyes a bit at her amusing antics.

“Coffee, at this hour?” Rina asked pausing for a moment tilting her head, she seemed a bit tickled at this behavior, not that it was unusual per say but it was only half past 2 by this point.

“I need something to keep me awake, I shouldn’t have stayed up so late last night” Hades said as he started fixing himself some coffee.

“Heh— what time did you go to bed?” She inquired.

“Maybe 3-2am give or take.” Rina looked at him like he had committed several war crimes. She knew he was a god, and probably used to staying up so late but— to go to bed for two hours before getting up was an insane idea.

“How- why— how does one do that?” she said giggling a bit, not even because she thought it was necessarily funny but rather from the pure absurdity of it.

“No clue, I’m honestly surprised I didn’t pass out when I got up today.” Hades said turning to her as he let the water in the coffee pot heat up, Rina shook her head at his words continued with her cleaning.

He kinda loved these little moments, where the two of them didn’t have to be endlessly working— well they were supposed to be, or rather he was at least. But he liked talking to her, as much as she made his cold black heart feel like it was beating out of his chest, speaking with her calmed him, it was nice. The two of them were rarely ever serious, most of the time it was just playful back and forth bickering or just the two joking. Gods he loved it. He adored hearing the sound of her voice, the way their eyes met when he was talking to her, he just couldn’t get enough of it.

Then he began thinking back to his earlier thoughts, about that ‘date.’ Perhaps he hadn’t made it clear enough? Maybe he wasn’t forward enough or perhaps too much. Although a thought popped into his mind…Should he ask, again?

“Sooo— how was work so far? Boring as ever I assume?” Rina said, breaking the silence that had momentarily fallen over them. Hades quickly snapped himself out of his thoughts, although he still wondered if he should go through with it but, he needed a plan.

“Oh yeah, yeah. Boring…, y’know nothing gets me going like a good pile of paperwork.” Hades chuckled to himself before taking a sip out of his cup.

Rina only shook her head, giving a small chuckle before proceeding with her task, that silence returned yet again leaving Hades to return to that dreadful place, his office.

…☆…

“Okay boys…” Hades started, taking a pause as he paced back and forth in front of his desk. The two imps in front of him anxiously waiting for what he was about to say next. It had been almost a full 48 hours since Hades finally decided to stop lying to himself about the emotions he were experiencing, all the while He had been silently questioning himself whether or not he had been correct about Rina’s affections for him, or if he should even attempt to ask her out one last time before he finally accepted he was probably gonna be alone for the rest of his; sad, miserable, eternal life. Or at least that’s what he would’ve gotten from that.

Hades had managed to practically drag the two imps out of bed, they were both still half asleep by this point, but as a alert as they could possibly be with the confusion and all.

“Uhh— sir, it’s 3:50 almost…we usually don’t get started till 4 y’know—“ Pain finally begged to question, pausing to check if what he said would upset Hades or not, and we’ll…it didn’t seem to. There he was, still pacing back and forth deep in thought.

“Ya think he’s okay?” Panic whispered to Pain, almost nudging him a bit.

“Hell no—“ Pain whispered back before continuing.

“Look boss, what we’re askin’ is—“

Hades interrupted “I know, I know it’s early boys, but work with me here,” he said sighing a bit leaning back on his desk before continuing.

“I need to know— and since Rina doesn’t shy away when talking to you two idiots—“ He said the last bit in a quieted tone, trying his absolute hardest not to roll his eyes. “I gotta ask…does Rina like, y’know…how does she view me? What’s her view on me? Just out of plain curiosity.” Hades asked crossing his arms as he waited for the pair to respond. He usually wouldn’t shy away from asking a question outright but knowing that Pain and Panic had a tendency to spill out secrets that weren’t to be shared, he couldn’t…especially when Rina was the only other person there to be told anything of the sort, especially if it were about her.

Pain and Panic paused at the question, blinking for a bit and doing a double take…did he really just ask them that? He could’ve asked Rina that himself so why was he up so early worrying them over it?

“Uhm, I mean…she likes you of course.” Pain answered confused at his question,

“Yeah, it’s pretty obvious.” Panic followed up.

“No— I know she likes me, but…look—“ Hades let out an exasperated sigh

“We aren’t getting anywhere with this,” he said rubbing his forehead a bit, he already knew beating around the bush wouldn’t help, considering how balloon headed his two lackeys were. If he had to risk Rina finding out about his plan, so be it. He’d be asking the girl out later anyways.

“Rina’s not like…Secretly engaged or something, right?” Hades questioned further. Pain and Panic exchanged glances before looking back at Hades.

“T-that’s what all this is about?” Panic asked, looking a bit baffled. Did he really get them up at almost 4am just to ask if Rina had a crush on him, did he not understand that she obviously did?

Well the thing is he did know, it was painfully obvious she treated him far different than anyone else, and he knew it couldn’t have been out of plain fear, she was far too kind. The doubt in the back of his mind seemed to have crept in however, he had been thinking maybe…he read her actions as something else entirely.

He waited, in an almost anxious manner for the two imps to say something else.

“Can you just tell me if she actually likes me or not?! goddamn it—“ He further restated his question, more than a bit firm this time. She had to have told them about her feelings, if she really did like him like had assumed before…right? They just had to know right?

“…sir it’s incredibly obvious.” Panic finally responded

“Mhm, very.” Pain relayed

“You’re sure?”

Pain and Panic nodded exhaustedly

“Okay, but— you’re sure, you’re sure?”

“Yes!” The two of them exclaimed getting pretty irritated at Hades rather oddly nervous behavior…okay who the hell was this god and what happened to the real Hades?

“You feelin’ alright, boss?”

“Yeah, you seem a bit on edge..?” The two said exchanging worried glances before looking back at Hades again, who has right now about ready for formulate a plan to ask the woman he so dearly cherished out on a date.

“Oh please— I’m fine,” Hades said rolling his eyes as he smirked a little, finding the question rather random, although it was only warranted with how off he had been acting. Gods- he had been getting really desperate again. Who knew it would only take two days for his desperation to truly shine.

“Alrighty then, boys! Time for daddy to start courtin’!” Hades said rubbing his hands together before walking over to a chalk board, just left of the table. Oh gods.

‘Holy Hera-ing fuck- he has this planned to a T.’ Pain and Panic announced to themselves simultaneously. Figuring that he had everything planned out with this oddly new found confidence.

“Did he have too much ambrosia today?”

“He sure is acting like it—“ Pain responded, in a rather comically concerned manner.

The pair watched as their boss turned the chalk board around with it now facing them. Surprisingly it was blank, nothing was on there yet. At least he wasn’t up all night scribbling on the board over some date like a complete psychopath.

“See, the reason I called you in here is because—“ Hades paused, dragging out the last bit of the word with a wavering tone of uncertainty. So…he didn’t have it planned out, at all.

“I need your help…quite obviously I have not a clue what to do for a date, ya feel?”

“You want us to…come up with an idea?”

“Yes you dumbass- look, just throw me an idea, I’ll do what I can and guess who’ll be setting it up” Hades said in a sing-song voice, and with a faux toothy smile to go along with it.

“Us?” Pain and Panic said in unison

“You sure as hell will be— now c’mon boys…ideas? Hello, hello, hello—“ he restated trying to get the pair back in focus.

“I dunno— I mean…it’s Rina we’re talking about, she doesn’t really like uhh— stuff all over the place y’know?” Pain answered tilting his head.

“I know, that’s why I’m asking you two imbeciles.” Hades said with his patience slipping a bit more than it already was.

“Just— look, y’know what don’t give me a specific idea, just tell me what type of date you’d think she’d like to go on.” Hades said, basically further simplifying the question he had already asked the two.

‘This is exactly why I don’t ask for advice.’

“Uhm uh, well…Rina isn’t much of a tough customer,” Pain paused as Panic followed up

“Yeah! She’s more of a ‘sit down and have picnic.’ type girl than anything else.”

“Hmm I see…” Hades said nodding his head along a bit, trying to come up with a date idea, but he knew he needed plan of action to actually ask the girl out.

“How about a stroll out next to the Styx! That sounds fun!” Panic said enthusiastically, whilst attempting to keep Pain, who was barely even awake to begin with, up and at em’.

“Huh— oh yeah! So fun, whooo whooo… whooo…” Pain said in a tired voice before mentally and physically clocking the hell out, and using Panics shoulder as a pillow cushion.

“Fine, fine, whatever. I can make do with that…alrighty then boys, see you in…,” Hades paused again, looking like he was debating on something almost

“I’m feelin’ generous today, you have an hour before you two need to get haul assin’ so, take with that what you will.”

Hades said dismissing the two of them as Panic rushed out, dragging Pain along with him.

As soon as Pain and Panic had left the room Hades let out a sigh of relief.

‘Oh gods— how in Zeus’ name am I gonna ask her?’ Hades thought to himself, rubbing his left temple as he sat down on his desk behind him. He had to ask her out, he just had to. That and his feelings of uncertainty towards Rina’s feelings for him, had practically been eating away at his mind for the past 2 or so days now. God— he felt like such a creep doing this but he couldn’t be stopped he wanted Rina, and badly. He needed to know that she had in fact liked him back, and even though he knew Pain and Panic were far too stupid to lie to him about such, he couldn’t help but wonder,

Had she them fooled as well? What if they figured no better than him previously?

Only Rina’s answer to Hades’ big question would truly be the thing to tell.

…☆…

Now here he sat, waiting. Waiting for the perfect opportunity to see if his assumption on his darling assistants feelings were true, waiting for the perfect moment to finally ask her out.

Some hours had passed since he finally planned this entire thing out— although he didn’t plan too much, he knew he didn’t need to go all out with it, it was just a date not a wedding ceremony, it’s not like he was gonna propose…so there was no need to be so nervous over it right? Right. It was only ten past twelve, and Rina had been on her break time as of right now, as she had been doing paperwork up until then. Hades had dismissed her a while ago, as he couldn’t focus much with her right in front of him, he was never able to to begin with but, now more than ever it seemed.

He was getting antsy now, should he ask now? Was it too early? Wrong time, wrong place? It’s not like he had many other options other than this one break they had in the day, so he knew he had to go for it now, If not Hades figured he might as well forever hold his peace.

‘Fuck it— I’ll just ask her now.’

Hades quickly got up from his chair, and headed out of his office looking for Rina. He didn’t have time to debate over it now, sure he could wait, but he didn’t want to. If Hades wanted something he was going to have it no matter what. Even if that something was Rina, he’d have to have to at least try. Rina usually at this time would be in the kitchen, getting a snack after all the work she had done, or somewhere in the library, checking out some of the old scrolls in there just out of plain curiosity. He had figured the latter since she had left a while ago, so he headed off to the library although he was sure to pass by the kitchen, just in case she had actually been there.

Hades finally made his way there, opening the doors rather slowly, being sure not to alert her too much if she were really there. The library was big, but not too huge, it was mostly just a maze of bookshelves and scrolls that had been tucked away, and covered in dust. He knew Rina had always liked to sit in the very back, in one of the chairs, so he slowly inched his way over there before spotting her just beyond an empty top of a shelf, curled up in one of the chairs reading a book. He nearly froze up when he saw her. She hadn’t noticed him yet thankfully, she practically had her nose buried in the book she was reading. She looked so at peace however, it oddly almost warmed his cold and empty heart, it always did truly but, he wasn’t just here tp sit here and admire her, unfortunately. He had something to do.

“Knock, knock, knock~” Hades said in a sing-song-y voice again as he knocked on the side of the shelf ye had been standing behind momentarily.

Rina looked up, finally noticing the tall, dark, and fiery god that was her boss.

“Oh— hi, hello, sorry! I was reading.” Rina said closing her book up, chuckling to herself a bit.

“You’re all good babe, don’t worry. I uh…psh— I just came here to ask you something is all…” Hades said awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck, doing his best to calm himself down. Not like he were going to let himself freak out in front of her— oh gods no. The anxious, nervous behavior he had been so scared of exhibiting…he couldn’t have Rina notice that, just yet.

“Oh, really? What is it?” Rina asked tilting her head off the the side a bit as she sat there waiting, listening intently.

“…do you…I wanna like, hmm, I dunno— want a break?”

“I am on break…”

“That’s…that’s not what I meant,” Hades said laughing a bit awkwardly, as he looked down at the ground, refusing to meet Rina’s gaze.

“I mean do you wanna go…out?” Hades went a bit silent, the faint, light hearted smile still being shown on his face as his dark eyes finally meeting Rina’s warm chocolate ones, the look and his eyes held nothing but anticipation and anxiety.

“Can you…be more specific please?” Rina giggled a bit, unsure of what he meant…or perhaps she did know what he meant, or what it could mean rather. Did he really just ask her that? Had he? Or maybe she were misunderstanding

‘Maybe he meant something different?’

“I’m afraid I don’t quite follow, sir—“ Hades cut her off.

“You don’t— you don’t have to call me sir, please…Catarina…you know exactly what I mean.” Hades said, their eyes practically locking at this point, as if they were trying to read each other, like a book almost.

“…you mean us, go out? Like—“

“Yes, just you and me. No body else. Just us, that’s all I want.”

“You’re not like trying to—“

“Rina, I’m asking you out on a date, I’m not trying to do anything but be with you.”

‘Did I really just fucking say that?’

Hades internally cringed as he then noticed the silence that had fallen over them. Rina’s eyes went wide, well now she knew for certain that’s what he was asking, and it’s not like she couldn’t just not answer his question.

“Uhm— I-… I’m sorry,” hades let out a stifled chuckle “I’m sorry I didn’t—“

“I would love to go out with you” Rina said fully closing her book as she gave him a content smile.

“Excuse me?” Hades said confused, asking her to repeat again,

“I said, I would love to go on a date with you, is that not what you asked?” Rina said getting a bit cheeky now, almost teasing him a bit but she was far too slick with it for her own good.

“…” Hades went silent for a moment.

“Really?”

“Yes, I mean it”

‘Holy fuck that was easy, I didn’t even have to bribe her!”

“Well, okay then,” Hades started as he straightened out his robes.

“I’ll uh- I’ll have Pain and Panic come get you at six O’ clock— sharp. I’ll see you then, you can have the rest of the day off it ya want.” Hades said contently, as he turned away to leave, Rina watching in surprise as he did. Rina opened her book again before bending over and putting her head in her lap and in her book. She sat in a fetal position almost, doing her best to suppress the smile that almost spread across her features.

‘Did that just happened?’

Rina questioned to herself she almost couldn’t possibly believe it, no one had ever went out of their way to ask her out, especially not someone who she enjoyed the presence of so dearly. Perhaps she had finally gotten what she wanted…she had won.

…☆…

As the hours in the day passed, it finally hit six O’ clock. The anticipation was practically killing Rina from the inside out. She had been in the bathroom that both her and Hades shared, doing her best to look at least half or more presentable than she usually did, but nothing too fancy. It was just a date after all its not like he asked her to marry him or anything— then again it’s not like she’d be all too opposed to that idea either.

‘I wonder where we’re going?’ Rina thought to herself. ‘Damnit— I should’ve asked him that! Ugh— mm..it’ll be okay I guess, at least I’ll be spending time with him’ Rina thought, smiling to herself as she finally finished fixing up her hair, pulling down a small coily strand with her finger as she let it go and watched it bounce back up.

Soon enough she had left the bathroom. Where the hell were Pain and Panic? They were supposed to come and get her right about now. She quickly shrugged it off, figuring they were probably on their way anyways.

Rina continued walking a bit further away from the bathroom, not to anywhere in particular, she was more so just wandering about as she waited for the pair of imps to finally make their appearance. Oh boy soon enough, they sure as hell would.

As Rina continued on walking for a bit longer she felt a presence from behind her, was it Hades? She had noticed it before after she had left the bathroom, however she wasn’t expecting it to pop up right behind her, and sure as hell didn’t expect to go and snatch her up and blindfolded out of basically nowhere.

“Augh— hey! Lemme go!” She exclaimed as she struggled against the person who had been obstructing her view with a cloth.

“Whoa— calm down sister!”

“Yeah, quit— quit strugglin’!”

Rina almost deadpanned on the spot as soon as she heard those voices, gods— of course it had been them, none others Pain and Panic. How had she not figured that? Rina stopped her struggle as the Blue and Red imps finally finished tying her blindfold

“…so— mind telling me what the freakidy fuck is this about?” Rina said crossing her arms, which usually they’d take pretty seriously but now they honestly couldn’t be bothered to.

“The boss asked us to.” Pain stated like it was no big deal. Rina would’ve rolled her eyes at this but she didn’t bother to, as she thought it didn’t matter if they couldn’t see it.

“Okay, well, why am I being blindfolded? Where the hell are we even going to anyways?” Rina asked as she lifted a brow, confused you the situation, as pain and panicle began leading her somewhere.

“You’ll see in a bit…”

Pain and Panic said in unison, it was almost a bit uncanny, although she payed it no mind. It hadn’t mattered, and either way she was more concerned about where she we’re going, as well as hoping for Hades to be there waiting for her.

…

Soon enough Rina had finally arrived to said date location, she, to be frank had no clue where she was at. She had been blindfolded before she even arrived, and hadn’t been paying much attention to where they were headed. The half of it was a complete blur, and her excitement to actually be going on a date with the man of her dreams seemed to be overpowering her emotions of curiosity about wherever the hell she were at right now.

Pain and Panic finally let go of her hands before turning to finally leave. Rina overheard some of their chattering as they walked off, likely back to the cold, dark, and gloomy underworld.

“Ugh— they grow up so fast” one of them said from off in the distance, she couldn’t help but giggle a bit at their little comment. Rina started to take off her blindfold before another presence seem to pop up from behind her,

“Sorry ‘bout all that, babe. Hopefully they didn’t freak you out too much.” Hades said, startling her a bit as he began helping her take off the cloth from around her eyes.

Rina hadn’t said anything just yet, soon the blindfold was off and her eyes became adjusted to the scenery around her. She knew it, the air didn’t feel warm and dense like it did in the underworld, the breeze was cool and refreshing, and the wind flowing past the many trees that were surrounding the river in front of her, the sounds of the water rushing past the rocks in the river, all of it was music to her ears. He had taken her back home, back on earth.

Her eyes soon trailed down to the very lake she stood In front of, taking in the sight of it and the reflection of the red colored sun that was still sparkling in the ever deepening blue shy, the gorgeous evening scene and the colors Rina so enjoyed, it gave her peace.

“Thought I’d take you out of the underworld some time soon y’know, figured you’d gotten homesick.” Hades said as he lightly placed a hand on her shoulder, waiting for her to finally say something— although she did admittedly looked rather shocked as she gazed upon the beautiful scenery.

“This is— this is so…gorgeous,” Rina said softly still taking in the scene before she turned to look at him, giving him a warms smile. He took in the red and orange colors of the sun shining on her almond skin and deep brown eyes, holy hera she looked like a dream.

“Thank you so, so much for taking me here.”

“Not a problem babe— oh, and I’ve got one more thing I wanna show you,” Hades put out his hand, silently offering for her to take it. Rina hesitated for a moment, what could he possibly have to show her that could make this little date of theirs any better?

Rina gave him her hand, silently taking note of how much larger his hands were compared to hers, she had noticed a while ago— and gods, she’d be lying if she said she didn’t make her heart beat a least a little bit faster. Hades quickly look her hand in his, rather macro-scaled, palm. He began leading her over through the grove of trees, and further down the bubbling river. She kept her eyes on the water, watching as the copper suns light hit it, although she did glance back up at Hades a few times throughout.

“You see that light up top?” Hades said breaking the calming silence. Rina looked over at him a bit confused by what he meant, before she looked forward, a bit further over in the bunches of trees.

She hadn’t seen anything yet, no light other than the ever sinking sun in deepening darkness of the sky.

“I’m not seeing anything…I don’t get it, what light?”

Hades let out a breathy chuckle before replying,

“Mmm you’ll see em’ soon babe, you’ll love it just know it.”

As they continued, Rina spotted some light coming from up above in the trees, along with a boat along the shore of a small pond the river had lead up to. It wasn’t a large boat, but it was big enough for two, and it even had two seats with cushions on them, pretty fancy, in Rina’s book at least.

Rina stopped momentarily for a moment taking in the sight in front of her. The golden light from the trees now shining in the darkness of the night that had just begun, she started walking over the the small grove of trees around the pong, looking a little closer at the golden tree leaves. It wasn’t just the shining tree leaves however, it was clusters upon clusters of gleaming golden blossoms that resided there. Gosh— they almost looked like stars.

Hades looked at Rina’s starry eyed gaze as she looked at the scenery, finding it a bit endearing if he were being honest. He kept her hand in his, although her rather small one began to slip so he intertwined her pinkie in his. Gods— she was just so sweet he almost couldn’t handle it.

“These are beautiful…, what are they?”

Rina said, her gaze never breaking the golden glow of the starry flowers that had captivated her.

“I’m not too sure actually,” Hades started, letting out a slightly amused laugh at Rina’s fascination.

“They call em’ Star Lily’s or something, I believe, I thought you’d like em’.”

“I do— they’re lovely,” Rina said looking back at him momentarily, with a small smile on her face.

“Uhh, what’s that boat for? It’s not for us is it?”

“What— I thought it would be nice to just…I dunno- sit on the water and talk y’know. You don’t get sea sick or anything do ya’?”

“No, no—I’m not I just didn’t, I mean I did but uhm—“

“What? You wanted to take a dip in the pond?”Rina let out a small chuckle at his comment.

“No! I just, I mean I uhm…I didn’t expect it is all…,”

“Do you not wanna?” Hades raised a brow, asking genuinely a bit confused by all Rina’s worried rambling.

“No, I do! I do, I’m sorry—it’s just…I don’t wanna fall in.” Rina said chuckling, covering up her face a bit from the embarrassment, but there was nothing she said that was really embarrassing. Perhaps she said if wrong?

“Sorry— I’ve…I’ve never been on a date before I don’t know how to—“

“You’re just fine, babe. Just relax, and take a load off. Just be happy we aren’t out here doing paperwork” Hades said laughing as he walked over to the boat with Rina, as she took a slightly tighter grip of his hand.

“You wanna get in first?”

“Hm? Oh sure uhm…how do I get in without it y’know…tipping over?” Rina said holding her free hand up to her chest as she looked over the boat. Hades shook his head at this with a smile as he kept her hand in his and help it up, guiding her into the boat.

“There you go m’lady.” He said chuckling a bit as she finally stepped in and sat down.

“Don’t call me that,” Rina said deadpanning a bit almost, despite the small grin spreading on her face.

“uhm…well..now what?”

“Hmm…uhh— we’ll see, just— give me a sec to figure this out, will ya’.” Hades finally let go of her hand as he stood up, and put a finger up to his chin. Thinking about how the hell he was actually gonna get this boat into the water, along with himself.

…

About 15 minutes later of Hades completely embarrassing himself and almost falling in the water— at last they were both finally in the boat.

Hades let out a rather loud sigh as she finally relaxed in his seat, leaning forward a bit closer to Rina.

“Goddamn—“ Hades said relived, just before turning to look at Rina who was doing her very best not to giggle.

“Oh c’mon, babe— don’t laugh at me now,”

“I’m not, I’m not, it’s just—“ Rina finally let out a laugh, giggling as she put her head down to her knees as she did.

“You almost fell in—“

“Oh you are just too tickled about that, aren’t you?” He lifted a brow, laughing along with her.

“So…,” Rina finally stifled her laughter before she continued,

“Now that we’re in this boat…now what?”

“Mmm, I’m not sure…”

Hades paused a moment, the both of them locking eyes once more. This moment felt like magic, the golden glow of the flowers reflecting in her warm eyes as they continued to drift down the pond and into the river. Rina eyes however kept trailing down towards Hades lips, but only for a second.

‘Are we about to kiss?’ Rina thought to herself as she looked back up at him.

“You have really pretty eyes…” Hades said smiling to himself.

“Huh-“

“They look they have stars in them,”

Hades went silent for a moment as he internally cringed once again.

‘Ew— did I just fucking say that?’

Rina smiled as she put a hand over her lips trying to hide it as she giggled a bit again.

“Um, thank you…I uh…I’m- I’m not sure what to say” Rina said with a huff while snickering a bit to herself.

“Yeah, I’m sorry—“ Rina swiftly cut him off.

“No, no, don’t apologize I appreciate it. Uhm…, I think you look handsome today…” Rina said with hesitations she looked away from him and down at the Running water just below them in embarrassment.

“Thanks, babe,” he paused before continuing on,

“So…your day so far?”

“Oh it was good, I uhm…I read.” Rina replied, her eyes fluttering up at him for a second before returning to focus of the water.

“Ohhh, she reads okay then. What have you been reading in the library anyways?”

“Uhm..books”

Hades practically bursted out with laughter at her rather vague response.

“What’s so funny?” Rina ask furrowing her brows a bit, seemingly offended and confused by his abrupt laughing

“None— nothing, babe. You’re just being a little silly is all.” He said in an amused huff.

“It’s not my fault! I dunno how dates work— I don’t even know why you asked me out of all people isn’t this supposed to be like romantic or something?…” Rina asked a bit frustrated and confused.

“Is it not romantic out here?”

“It is! I just dunno why you would ask me…?”

“Why not?” Hades asked chuckling, simultaneously getting on Rina’s nerves while he was at it.

“You’re not helping.” She crossed her arms as she sat back a bit in the boat away from him.

“Okay fine, fine,” He let out a sigh before he followed up,

“I mean what’s so bad about asking my assistant out on a date?”

“…do you want me to answer that?” Rina lifted a brow.

“No— look I- I dunno, if I could tell you I would but I just…look, I like ya’ enough to take ya’ out, or somewhere where we aren’t just doing paperwork.”

“…” Rina unfolded her arms, seemingly no longer upset, or not as upset as she was before.

“I could ask you the same y’know,”

“Hm?”

“Why you said yes?”

“I dunno…I mean a date with you doesn’t sound that bad…and I like being with you.”

Hades’ smile grew a bit whisper at her words.

“See you get it. I uh…sorry ‘bout all that—“

“It’s my fault I’m sorry, but let’s just enjoy our time here while we have it.” Rina said smiling as she took his hands in hers. Gosh— now that practically just warmed his heart, it damn near made him jolt, to say the least he hadn’t expected that.

‘Is she trying to make a move on me or…?’

Hades took in her hands, pulling her a bit closer to him.

“So…what do you wanna talk about?”

“Rina,” Hades announced sternly, making sure his eyes made contact with hers. She was giving him that look again, god how he loved her oh so dearly.

“What? I don’t know what to talk about…,”

“Y’know what people do when they have nothing to talk about on a date?

“What?”

Hades pulled her a bit closer, his hands now resting around her waist. Her nose and lips practically touching his, if they weren’t already that is, and before Rina was even able to realize what he was about to do, he leaned forward, with their lips finally meeting, much to Rina’s surprise.

She returned the kiss before they soon parted a moment afterward. Too bad heaven only lasted about 5 seconds, and Rina had been in complete surprise for at least half of them.

“Woah…”

Rina said before looking up at him again a small smile plastered on her face, more than ready to lean in for another kiss.

🍬Hi!! Thanks a lot for reading my story!! :3🍬hope you like it, I worked really hard on it!! :3. If you have any criticisms please let me know how I can improve my writing!! But other that I hope you enjoyed!!

Divs by @.Brokenhearted

[goldielia]

your whatever

a part of: call it what you want au

it’s a sunny day at the start of october when will feels anxious stepping into their little corner in the library. it’s not noticeable, really. he’s wearing sweatpants and a hoodie, she knows he’ll be going straight to practice after they hang out. he brings two coffees, one of which she knows to be her exact (and slightly complicated) order and his posture is relaxed as usual.

but there’s something about his lopsided smile that she lo- likes so much that feels off today. she shrugs it off though when he places a kiss on her cheek in greeting and slides into the chair next to her, pulling one of her thighs over his. she abandoned her school work for today, having finished enough of it to not fall behind during a break she had in the morning. instead, she’s brought the book she’s currently reading to enjoy the atmosphere in the library and to keep him company while he gets the work done that she knows has been on his mind for almost a week now.

they’re polar opposites like that, she can’t stand not being caught up with her schoolwork while he needs the pressure of running out of time to get his stuff done. she leans into his side a little more, the two of them getting comfortable in their secluded corner hidden behind bookshelves and focusing on their respective tasks. she manages to read two chapters before he starts tapping her thigh subconsciously. when he lets out a huge sigh she feels along her side she can’t take it anymore.

“hey, are you okay?” he looks confused, “yeah, why wouldn’t i be?” she closes her book, keeping a finger in between the pages where she stopped reading. “i don’t know what it is but something’s off about you today. it’s okay if you dont wanna talk but just tell me you’re okay.”

he sighs again, runs a hand over his face before he turns towards her “i’m okay but uh, can we maybe talk?” she reaches to put her book down and mark her page before she faces him again, pulling her legs up on her chair and resting her chin on top. “of course, will. what about?”

“well, uh, about this?” he points between them a little helplessly, hoping she's felt the sparks as well and he's not reading this totally wrong. “i mean, i don’t want you to be my girlfriend- i mean i want to, but like- oh god, i’m messing this up so badly”

“hey” she takes one of his hands in hers. “take a breath. i’m not going anywhere. think about what you want to say.” he closes his eyes briefly, putting a sentence together in his head before talking again. “i want this- i want us to be something. but i don’t know what. like- like i know a little bit about you and i really like that bit and i’d really like to get to know you more.. officially, i guess?”

he’s too nervous to meet her eyes, staring at their - still intertwined - hands instead but she’s quick to drop her legs from the chair and reach a her free hand to his cheek to gently turn his head towards her. he tries to find some kind of rejection in her eyes or on her face but all he sees is a soft smile, one that he hasn’t seen before. he can’t help but smile at her as well, corners of his mouth moving before he can stop it.

“can i kiss you?” “wha- what?” she giggles, leaning her forehead onto his shoulder, laughing at the dumbfounded look on his face. when she lifts her head again her freckled cheeks are flushed a sweet pink and suddenly she’s closer than he thinks she’s ever been. his eyes close on their own when her soft lips press against his, retreating after the shortest of moments.

his hands move before his brain turns back on, settling on her neck gently and pulling her back into another, an actual, kiss. he loses himself in it for a little bit, hears only his heartbeat as it thumps loudly in his ears and tastes her vanilla lip balm and the coffee he brought her earlier. he thinks he floats for a moment until her other hand comes to rest on his chest, grounding him back into the chair in the library. one strand of her hair tickles his cheek so he tucks it back behind her ear, not stopping kissing her.

it wasn’t his first kiss, not his second or third either but none of them compare to kissing ally. he thinks he could kiss her forever if the world allowed it. he’s the one that pulls back this time, slowly though, as if he isn’t sure he doesn’t want to dive back in. “i’ll be your whatever” she whispers, still so close he feels the words against his lips, "if you'll have me?" and really, he’d be stupid to say no to that.

[ask-the-critters-survival-au]

So anybody feeling rather nosy today?

Well I finished Kickin’s entire diary a few weeks ago, and since Hoppy never really got the chance to read the entire thing, I thought I’d share it here!

Please note, on the following dates

November 4, 1997

March 10, 1998

September 4, 1998

Kickin does write down some s*icidal thoughts, that may be triggering to some people. I’d advise you to skip past those if they are triggering for you. I’ll mark them with bold text so you know.

Diary is under the cut! Have fun snooping!

August 26, 1995

I found this notebook by one of the kids’ beds. He didn’t use it at all so I figured it was alright to take it! Not that he is here to stop me anyways. I decided to start writing stuff in here! Just whatever I’m thinking, whenever I feel like it, I guess. Whenever I feel like it. God, that is a WEIRD sentence to say. Or write. But it’s true! It’s my life now! Whenever I feel like it! No more stupid employees here! Haha, get wrecked! Losers. Oh, Hoppy’s calling me. I’m gonna go! I’ll write in you again later! I promise! Wait, why am I promising a notebook that I’ll do something?

October 2, 1995

Okay so I kinda forgot about this thing. Oops! Anyways, I’m getting bored. The soccer ball is starting to deflate and we can’t find the pump. This SUCKS dude. Like, I get the prototype is busy doing whatever, but if he’s all powerful like he says can’t he give us some entertainment around here? Like sheesh! There’s nothing to do. I’m so bored.

October 16, 1995

I’m thinking of growing my hair out. I mean, Crafty is doing it! And it’s getting annoying constantly cutting it. It grows back really fast. Maybe I’ll go for a mullet type look! Just maybe though.

October 29, 1995

DogDay’s missing. We don’t know where he went. We tried searching for him but CatNap told us not to. It’s always what CatNap says. Stupid. I’m going to keep looking anyways. I’m gonna find him.

October 30, 1995

Never mind.

January 1, 1996

Hey, new year! It kinda sucks though. We did absolutely nothing to celebrate. Also, big problem. Bobby found out about my secret crush. Oh I hope nobody ever reads this thing. Don’t tell anybody, but I think I like-like Hoppy. She’s just so cute and pretty and funny and spunky and cool and I love it when she talks about outer space it’s so interesting!!! She’s so fast too, like crazy fast! I think she’s too fast though. She beats me at literally EVERYTHING. That’s okay though! I’m gonna keep getting better until I can win! But yeah. Bobby found out. I’m terrified for my life.

January 23 1996

So we’re starting to run out of food. Catnap said to trust in the prototype and that he’s gonna save us and stuff. I call bull. We need food, not a savior! But he said the prototype has a plan, so I guess we’ll be fine. Still though, I’m getting tired of eating moldy salami.

February 6, 1996

Crafty’s starting to lose it. She started nagging me nonstop because she keeps running out of red marker. I’m gonna avoid her from now on. Her drawings are getting weird. Really weird. Like borderline creepy stuff. She’s going bonkers man, I’m telling you.

May 16, 1996

We ran out of food. Woke up this morning to Picky scoring through the rest of our god damn supply. I swear I am going to SCREAM DUDE!! So what if she’s always hungry?! She’s not the only one who needs food to survive! Unbelievable. What the hell are we going to do now?

May 17, 1996

So that was CatNap’s back up plan. Oh my god. I don’t want to even think about what I’ve done today. I recognized him. Who I ate. He was there when I first woke up. Taking notes in the corner of the room on his clipboard. I feel sick to my stomach. How long are we going to have to do this for?

June 2, 1996

Today feels special. I don’t know why. It just does. Also I’m sorry I haven’t been writing in you as much. I’m just scared of getting caught writing in this thing. What if someone reads it? What if CatNap reads it? Will he get mad at me for what I wrote a few months ago about the prototype? Maybe I should erase it. No I can’t do that, I wrote it in marker. I’m going to keep this thing hidden inside my zipper pocket for now, until I find a better spot.

July 22, 1996

There was a freaking execution today. I’m so disturbed right now. It was one of the tiny DogDays. I’m not really sure what he did, but CatNap made us all watch as he ripped the poor guy apart. He said that’s what happens if you are a heretic. That’s what happens if you speak out even the slightest against the prototype. Bubba told me that he thought one of the other minis had tattled to CatNap about what that tiny DogDay did. That’s insane. I can’t imagine any of my friends doing that to me. Would they do that to me? No, I’m being an idiot. They’d never do that. Regardless I can’t let him find this thing. I don’t want to end up like that mini.

August 8, 1996

It’s officially been a full year since the Hour of Joy. It’s weird to think about. How many full humans have I eaten by now? Maybe eight? Ten? Twelve? Twenty? I lose count. I don’t feel anything when I eat them anymore. It’s easier to imagine them without faces. I always cut off the head so I don’t have to see it. On the bright side, we finally found the pump for the soccer ball. Hoppy and I can finally start playing again. I don’t really think either of us want to though. At least not right now.

September 12, 1996

Hoppy and I had another fight today. I’m writing in this thing because Bobby made us separate. I don’t like being mad at her. I want to apologize but I’m scared to approach her right now. I miss DogDay. I don’t write about him much but I miss him. His name is kind of forbidden to even speak nowadays. Picky thinks he abandoned us. I don’t think he did. He’d never do that. But if he did I want him to come back. Everything’s falling apart without him.

January 12, 1997

I’m sorry it’s been awhile. I don’t really know what to write about today though so I’m gonna end it off here.

February 7, 1997

Sometimes I wonder if I should name this journal something. But I’m not very creative when it comes to names. Crafty is though. She’s been really different lately though. She’s gotten really cheerful for some reason. But say the wrong thing and suddenly you’re on the ground. I’m scared of her. I don’t know what’s going on with her but if she doesn’t get that fixed soon she’s going to get herself killed. Or kill someone else. Either of the two. Maybe even both.

April 25, 1997

Nothing to write about today. I’m just not going to. I don’t feel like it. My hand hurts. I think I’m gonna go back to sleep.

June 2, 1997

It’s the weird day again. The one that feels like it should be special. I don’t know what that feeling is. I asked Bubba about it. He knows a lot, I thought he’d probably know that too. He didn’t though. He said he got that feeling too, sometimes. But neither of us knew why.

June 19, 1997

We ran out of food. I didn’t even know that was possible. There were so many humans working in this factory, how did we run out of them? The entire Playcare was in panic today. CatNap calmed us all down. He said not to worry, because the prototype always has a plan. Okay. If the prototype always has a plan, what is it? Because I’m tired of this whole stupid mess! I want to know what it is! Why can’t I know what it is? This is so dumb! The prototype is so dumb! It makes me want to tear all my feathers out!!!!

September 19, 1997

IM SO HUNGRY SO HUNGRY SO HUNGRY SO HUNGRY I DONT KNOW WHAT TO EAT THERES NOTHING I HAVENT EATEN IN SO LONG I NEED FOOD I NEED FOOD. IM HAVING THESE SCARY THOUGHTS NOW I WANT THEM GONE! I DONT WANT TO HURT ANYONE BUT I NEED TO EAT I NEED TO EAT I NEED TO

September 19, 1997

I did it. I needed to eat. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Picky told us how to find food. There’s plenty of it in the Playhouse. Like livestock, just waiting to be slaughtered. CatNap was so mad. But we have food now. And we all know he’s been eating them too. I feel like a monster. They were like us. But Bubba told me it was necessary. We were all going to die if we didn’t. I’m still sorry though.

November 4, 1997

Bubba got gassed. Badly. I’m so worried about him. We don’t even know why, we just walked in the room and there he was, laying on the ground with scratch marks all over him. How could CatNap have done such a thing? He’s sick. Just sick. I’ve been taking care of him now. I don’t want to leave his side. I’m worried that if I leave for a moment that something will happen to him. Hoppy’s been making me stay active. Sometimes she’s the only reason I keep going on. It’d be so easy just to end it all. She’s there for me though. I love her. God, I love her. I never want anything to happen to her. But I know something’s going to happen to her. That something’s going to happen to all of us eventually. When it happens to her though, it’s gonna happen to me next. I promise it will.

November 14, 1997

I found a boombox today. It’s really cool. I’ve been playing it for Bubba recently. He’s still asleep. I hope he wakes up soon. Did I ever mention in here that I like to dance? It’s really fun. It makes me forget about everything that happened. I lose myself in the movements. I don’t really even know how I know how to dance. I never learned it as a toy. I think I’m gonna go do it now though.

December 3, 1997

THAT JERK! THAT HORRIBLE STUPID DISGUSTING DUMB JERK! I HATE HER! I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER! HOW DARE SHE DO THAT TO BUBBA?? WHEN HAS HE EVER BEEN ANYTHING BUT NICE TO HER???? BUT NOOOOO, I GUESS KINDNESS MEANS NOTHING IN THE EYES OF PICKY PIGGY! ALL SHE CARES ABOUT IS HERSELF AND HER APPETITE! I WOULDVE RIPPED OFF SOOO MUCH MORE THAN HER EAR IF I COULD! BUT THEN HOPPY AND BOBBY HAD TO COME IN AND RESTRAIN ME! STUPID! STUPID STUPID STUPID! IM GOING TO KILL HER WHEN I GET THE CHANCE! AND ITS GOING TO BE SLOW AND BRUTAL AND ITS GOING TO HURT!

January 1, 1998

Yay. New year. Yippee.

March 4, 1998

Something bad happened today. I knew it would happen eventually. I think we all did. Crafty finally lost it on the wrong person. She attacked CatNap and then he ripped off her hands as punishment. I could hear every. Single. Agonizing second of her screams. I thought I was used to screaming by now. I guess I was just telling myself that. I hope she survives. That was a lot of blood.

March 6, 1998

What do I do. What do I do. What do I do. Hoppy’s leaving. She just told me she is. Hoppy, Bobby and Crafty are leaving Playcare in a week. They can’t leave. They can’t. CatNap’s going to kill them. He’s going to kill them brutally. And even if he doesn’t, who knows what’s outside of Playcare? Plenty of toys who would be willing to hurt them for food. Hoppy told me to come with them. I can’t go with them. I don’t want to die. But I don’t want them to die. They can’t leave. I don’t want them to leave. But I can’t change Hoppy’s mind. She’s leaving with or without me. How could she do that to me? Just leave me here, all alone with Picky? Bubba’s still asleep. She’s the only one I’ll have to talk to. I don’t want to talk to her. I’m scared. I need to stop them.

March 8, 1998

what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done

March 9, 1998

I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m so so sorry. I messed up I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry please forgive me. I keep seeing her. She talks to me in my head now, telling me she won’t ever forgive me, no matter how much I grovel and beg. Sometimes I don’t even think it’s in my head. Am I going insane? You don’t deserve to stay sane. You’re right. I don’t. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry.

March 10, 1998

The blood won’t come off. It stained my hands. Maybe I deserve that. You do deserve that. You’re right. You’re always right. I deserve it. I haven’t moved from my bed since it happened. I’m hungry but I don’t want to eat. I don’t deserve to eat. Bubba needs me though. At least if Picky tries eating him again there’s nobody to stop me from making her pay this time. I don’t know why I don’t just give up. I should. I made a promise that I would once Hoppy went. Maybe it’s Bubba. Or maybe I’m just making excuses. Maybe I’m just too scared. I’ve never felt so alone before. I deserve to feel alone.

March 24, 1998

I’ve been seeing her a lot lately in my dreams. Always the screaming and then the ear. And then she tells me it’s my fault. I know it’s my fault. But I still don’t understand. Am I selfish for not understanding? Yeah. Probably. But all I ever wanted to do was protect her. I don’t understand why this happened. I don’t understand. Picky’s been avoiding me. That’s fine. I don’t want to see her either.

April 12, 1998

You know what? No. I’m done. I don’t care if CatNap catches me going into the Playhouse. I need to see what’s inside. Maybe she’s inside, and that’s why we aren’t allowed in. I’m going to find her. I’m going to make things right with her. I refuse to believe she’s gone.

July 16, 1998

July. It’s already July. I took that long to recover? Seriously? That was three whole months. Well, I guess loosing an eye will do that to you. I’m still surprised that Picky took care of me while I was hurt. I tried to ask her why but she didn’t respond, so I guess that was that. That doesn’t matter though. He’s alive. He’s alive. DogDay’s alive! He’s been here this entire time, sitting right below our noses and we had no clue! If I can just figure out a way to get him out then he can save us all from this mess! I know he can! I just need to find a way.

July 20, 1998

Bubba woke up. He finally woke up! Oh my god, he finally woke up! It’s been how long, eight months? I’m so thankful. He’s really scared though. He must’ve been through hell. I know from experience the nightmares that stuff gives you aren’t pleasant. I can’t imagine going through that for a whole year. Poor guy.

July 21, 1998

Bubba’s been having trouble walking lately. His legs give out whenever he tries. I guess that makes sense. He hasn’t used his legs in a while. I wish I knew how to give him the proper treatment he needs. Actually, there’s an idea. I should check inside of the school. I’m sure there is something in there about comas.

July 22, 1998

OKAY SO THAT WAS A HORRIBLE IDEA. Not only did I find absolutely NOTHING, but I almost got my head bashed in with a freaking mace! That biology teacher has gone wack. Completely wack. Then again, she’s not the only one. I still hear Hoppy. She still visits me. I’ll be in the middle of something and then I’ll just see her. I think I’m starting to hallucinate. I know that’s really bad. But I enjoy seeing her. Even if all she does is cuss me out. It gives me hope. Hope that she’s not Never mind. I shouldn’t be thinking about that. Bury that nice and deep along with the other scary thoughts. She’s not dead. She’s not dead she’s not dead she’s not dead she’s not dead.

August 8, 1998

Third year anniversary. Or is it the fourth? I don’t feel like doing the math. Bubba can walk again now, but all he does is sit against a wall. It feels like my effort was wasted, if I’m honest. He doesn’t like eating. Or sleeping. He hates sleeping. I tried to give him some books to read that I stole from the councilors office, but he ignored them. Some days he refuses to sleep so badly to the point where I have to knock him out for him to get a little shut eye. I feel bad for him. He doesn’t deserve this. If I could take his place I would in a heartbeat. Maybe if it was me instead of him I wouldn’t have messed up so horribly.

September 4, 1998

It’s one of those days where the hallucinations are bad again. Sometimes I wonder if it even is a hallucination. Am I actually seeing her? She’s looking over my shoulder right now. Watching me write. She looks so real. And the stuff she says feels so real. I want her to be real. I want to hold her in my arms. She just told me if I ever try to do that she’s going to push me off the cloud I’m on. I think she knows I wouldn’t save myself.

September 18, 1998

Bubba’s been getting better. He’s started talking again. Only sometimes though. And he never says much. It’s a start though.

November 10, 1998

I think I just saw Picky chasing Hoppy away from the councilors office. I must’ve just been hallucinating again. She was carrying something though. It looked like a computer? I’ve never seen that before. Probably just another hallucination.

[inmyglowupera]

Last year, I decided 2024 was going to be the year where I put things into motion.

Started going in outdoor walks and jogs in january. Started cutting on processed foods and eating only what I cooked in February.

Around April I started daily pilates workout at home and started tracking calories and macronutrients.

By July I was invested in my fitness journey more than I ever did in years. Started going at the gym, saw a coach and learned to incorporate strength training.

In September I switched to a bigger gym with a coach that taught me exercises I’ve always dreaded and didn’t think I could have ever done. I started lifting more heavy, using barbells and equipment I never did before.

In October, I started the 75 Hard and became more consistent in my workouts and fitness journey. I went back to tracking calories and macronutrients and haven’t stopped since.

It’s now been 53 days of daily 45 min walks, workouts and mindful eating reaching a calorie deficit.

My weight fluctuates but I’m seeing improvements. I feel stronger and more capable than I did in years.

I’m entering 2025 hopeful and empowered and I want to make it the year that will define me the most yet. I want to rise to the challenges, be consistent with working up more than ever, continue my journey with lifting weights at the gym and foster my discipline through this weight loss journey.

I may not always lose as fast as I would like to, but my results continue to show me I’m on the right path. Taking time to achieve results only make them more sustainable and good things happen to those who are resilient and patient through hardships.

I wish for 2025 to be filled with even more success, fitness, health, wellbeing and weight loss achievements. I hope I get to share it all with the people I love and that nurture me.

And I hope 2025 continues to witness my determination growing and my creativity overcoming any obstacle. I’ve made it this far already, and with God’s will, there is no reason I can’t go even further. ☀️🩵

[pauhses]

Sirius Black would absolutely have a love-hate relationship with ABBA — they are literally singing about his life:

The album ABBA was released April 21, 1976, when Sirius was in his fourth year and he

1) finally kissed Remus:

So I made up my mind

It must come to an end

Look at me now, will I ever learn?

I don’t know how

But I suddenly lose control

There’s a fire within my soul

Just one look and I can hear a bell ring

One more look and I forget everything, whoa

Mamma mia, here I go again

My my, how can I resist you?

(Mamma Mia)

2) told Severus to go to the Whomping Willow during a full moon…

Where are those happy days

They seem so hard to find

I tried to reach for you, but you have closed your mind

Whatever happened to our love? I wish I understood

It used to be so nice, it used to be so good…

So, when you’re near me, darling, can’t you hear me

S.O.S.

The love you gave me, nothing else can save me, S.O.S.

[…]

You seem so far away though you are standing near

You made me feel alive, but something died I fear

(S.O.S.)

3) realised the he loved Remus and told him:

Love me or leave me, make your choice but believe me

I love you

I do, I do, I do, I do, I do

I can’t conceal it, don’t you see, can’t you feel it?

[…]

So come on, now let’s try it

I love you, can’t deny it

'Cause it's true

(I do, I do, I do, I do, I do)

The album Arrival was released October 11, 1976, when Sirius was in his sixth year.

First of all, he’s the dancing queen:

Night is young and the music’s high

With a bit of rock music, everything is fine

(Dancing Queen)

Secondly, he’s run away from home and Regulus joined the Death Eaters:

I’ve seen it on your face

Tells me more than any worn-out old phrase

So now we’ll go separate ways

Never again we two

Never again, nothing I can do…

Like an image passing by

My love, my life

In the mirror of your eyes

My love, my life

I can see it all so clearly

Answer me sincerely

Was it a dream, a lie?

[…]

But I know I don’t possess you

So go away, God bless you

You are still my love and my life

Still my one and only

(My Love, My Life)

The Album was released December 12, 1977.

About Sirius and Remus:

I was an impossible case

No one ever could reach me

[…]

I'm a bashful child beginning to grow

And you make me talk

And you make me feel

And you make me show

What I'm trying to conceal

If I trust in you

Would you let me down?

Would you laugh at me

If I said I care for you?

[…]

Your smile, and the sound of your voice

And the way you see through me

Got a feeling, you give me no choice

But it means a lot to me

(The Name of the Game)

Also I have no idea if there were karaoke-bars in England in 1977, but in my head the marauders go to a karaoke-bar and they encourage Lily to go up on stage and do a song, which she is reluctant to but then caves in and starts singing Thank You For The Music with the loveliest voice and most enticing eyes and James m e l t s

Voulez-vous was released April 23, 1979, the year Regulus dies.

Remus to Sirius:

How I hate to see you like this

There is no way you can deny it

I can see that you're oh, so sad, so quiet

[…]

You were always sure of yourself

Now I see you’ve broken a feather

(Chiquitita)

Super Trouper was released November 3, 1980.

About Sirius and Remus:

Touch my soul, you know how

Andante, andante

Go slowly with me now

I'm your music, I’m your song

Play me time and time again and make me strong

Make me sing, make me sound

Andante, andante

Tread lightly on my ground

Andante, andante

Oh, please don’t let me down

(Andante, Andante)

In the summer of 1981, Sirius got sick of the war and decided to take Remus with him for a weekend in Paris:

The summer air was soft and warm

The feeling right, the Paris night

Did its best to please us

And strolling down the Élysées

We had a drink in each café

And you, you talked of politics, philosophy and I smiled like Mona Lisa

We had our chance

It was a fine and true romance

[…]

I can still recall our last summer

I still see it all

Walks along the Seine, laughing in the rain

Our last summer

Memories that remain…

We made our way along the river

And we sat down in the grass

By the Eiffel tower

I was so happy we had met

[…]

We took the chance

Like we were dancing our last dance

I can still recall our last summer

I still see it all

In the tourist jam, round the Notre Dame

Our last summer

Walking hand in hand

Paris restaurants

Our last summer

Morning croissants

Living for the day

Worries far away…

(Our Last Summer)

They toasted to many more summers like those, but it really was their last…

The Visitors was released November 30, 1981. A month earlier, Lily and James were murdered, Peter disappeared and Sirius was imprisoned.

Sirius in Azkaban:

One of us is crying, one of us is lying

In her lonely bed

Staring at the ceiling

Wishing she was somewhere else instead

One of us is shaking with a heart that’s breaking

One of us is lonely, one of us is only

Waiting for a call

Sorry for herself, feeling stupid, feeling small

Wishing she had never left at all

(One of Us)

Remus:

Do I really see what’s in her mind?

Each time I think I’m close to knowing

She keeps on growing

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table

Barely awake, I let precious time go by

Then when she’s gone, there's that odd melancholy feeling

And a sense of guilt I can’t deny

What happened to the wonderful adventures

The places I had planned for us to go?

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Well, some of that we did, but most we didn’t

And why, I just don’t know

(Slipping Through My Fingers)

Bonus:

Knowing Me, Knowing You is Remus walking through Grimmauld Place after Sirius’s death:

No more carefree laughter

Silence ever after

Walking through an empty house

Tears in my eyes

Here is where the story ends, this is goodbye

[areyoudreaminof]

Leave Out a Cup For Me: An Amren Playlist

The Inner Circle is complete and I have finally conquered the tiny ancient one.

This was without a doubt the hardest playlist to make. Amren is tough for me, she's sort of a strange enigma. She's our look into the greater Fae world and beyond, she's a shrewd second-in-command and brilliant. But, like the cosmic entity she is, she can be cruel and condescending. So, that leaves me with the question; what does Amren sound like? For me, she sounds like a lot of gothic synths and Americana. I expect this playlist to be as divisive as her character. Either way, I hope you enjoy it! Meet me behind the cut!

Listen Here!

Apply-Glasser

If the walls were too thin You would break in If the walls were too thin You would break right in

Out in the thunder Opens my eyes wide There is sound in my mind Keeps me up all night

Fresh Blood-Eels

Whatever trepidation you may feel In your heart, you know it's not real In a moment of clarity Summon an act of charity

You gotta pull me out of this mud Sweet baby, I need fresh blood

Same Old Energy-Kiki Rockwell

It's your own damn fault, boy, you handed us the broom Four hundred years ago, sayin' "You know what to do" Yes sir, we do, beep beep, comin' through Close your damn mouth, my man, I told you we flew

Rise up, oh, flame, come join the game They started a frenzy, but we’ll take the blame A bare chested dame who goes by no name Their arsenal's empty, all they got is shame

Hot Gum-SOFIA ISELLA

Your teeth are on fire, do you notice? No Your mouth is burning, do you notice? No Your hair burns, my hair burns Your skin burns, my skin burns Do you feel anything? No If I tell you what I’m thinking promise, you won’t tell yourself If you tell me what you’re thinking, I swear I won’t tell myself He’s on the ground, he’s on his knees, he’s a believer He’s on the ground, he didn’t listen to the preacher

Lose Your Soul-Dead Man's Bones

I get up in the morning To the beat of the drum I get up to this feeling Keeps me on the run I get up in the morning Put my dreams away I get up, I get up, I get up again

Devil's Resting Place-Laura Marling

When you ask to drink of me I think out on the case Look down to my aloe cup and take myself a taste Bitterness is thick like blood and cold as a wind sea breeze If you must drink of me, take of me what you please I am loathe to say it's the devil's taste I've been with the devil in the devil's resting place

Bad Ritual-Timber Timbre

There's a hat on the bed,the clock has stopped ticking And nothing remotely romantic has been said Let's not pass on the steps, let's take the season very easy Let's take pills, saltwater, let's keep looking ahead It's a bad, bad ritual But it calms me down

In the Dark-Cathedrals

I can see you fall apart You turn away and fade out of sight But I hear you call in the night Let it go, let me hold you this time Lying in the hollows of your heart I see you lying awake in your ride I’ll be a spark in the sky When you want it, I’ll be on the other side

Deep Green-Marika Hackman

Just because I love your skin Doesn't mean I'll jump in The water's clean and warm and green I'm not allowed to swim I'm scared of getting in

Pyre-Son Lux

We're wresting now from our own hands a future Regret the flower of watered seed Are we the ghosts that swarm about us? We can begin

Thanatos-Soap & Skin

Ages of delirium Curse of my oblivion I swell without a scar To the end of time A shell without a star At the end of time

I am not a woman, I'm a god-Halsey

I am not a woman, I'm a god I am not a martyr, I'm a problem I am not a legend, I'm a fraud So keep your heart 'cause I already got one

TAGLIST: @aldbooks @bookofmirth @brieq @bagelfyre @c-e-d-dreamer @cursebrkr @darling-archeron @damedechance @gwyns @gimme-mor @harrysringss @highqueenmorrigan @talons-and-teeth @kataravimes-of-the-shire @krem-does-stuff @krem-has-a-mess @kingofsummer93 @lidiacervos @lucienarcheron @octobers-veryown @ofduskanddreams @panicatthenightcourt @queercontrarian @reverie-tales @asnowfern @spell-cleavers @separatist-apologist @wilde-knight @thesistersarcheron @thelovelymadone @the-lonelybarricade @ultadverb @vulpes-fennec @velidewrites @vanserrass @yazthebookish @mossytrashcan @bennylavasbuns @tuzna-pesma-snova @andrigyn @thecrispypotatochip @elvhendis @fieldofdaisiies @xtaketwox @popjunkie42-blog

[thatsunnyalien]

Decided to print my story and I’m feeling quite proud. It’s the first long form writing I’ve ever completed so I decided to throw it down in the middle of all of my journals as I try to start my next story.

Wish me luck!

Sticky reads: Not to judge the proverbial book by its cover but I'd venture to say he was all cover, no pages.

Things I’ve learned from this:

-Write everyday, even if it’s just a sentence or two.

-Write the scene you want to write, organize it all later.

-There is no bad writing, just something you might cannibalize later.

-One scene at a time makes a story.

-Don't be afraid to read it out loud like an actor on a stage.

Stats for Nerds:

Start: 2024, October 29th

End: 2025, January 21st

Below is the link for the fic itself:

In Dreams of Blood and Water (95217 words) by SunnyAlien Chapters: 34/34 Fandom: Life Eater (Video Game) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Relationships: Johnny/Ralph Characters: Johnny, Ralph, Zimforth, OCs Additional Tags: POV First Person, Pre-Canon, Post-Canon, Canon Canon, Expanded Universe, canon AU, Angst, Complicated Relationships, Cosmic Conflict, Sexual Content, Stockholm Syndrome, Lima Syndrome, Supernatural Elements, Survivors Guilt, babies first fanfic, Whoops Wrote too Much, Enemies to Friends to Lovers to ???, Abuse, Blood and Gore, Corpses, Death, Drinking, Drug Use, Emotional Baggage, Fire, Graphic descriptions, Homophobia, Insects, Kidnapping, Mental Instability, PTSD, Religion, Self-Harm, Smoking, Spiders, Suicide, Trauma, Violence, Vomit, Its Life Eater, All Chapters Titles are Song Lyrics, All Hail The Spider God Referenced Summary: Johnny has spent the last ten years of his life locked in a man’s basement but now that he’s free he has to come to terms that his life is never going to be the same. He is different, home is different, and Ralph? He’s not sure how he feels about any of that, but he’s trying to make the best of it. One thing though still lingers dormant in the back of his mind, Zimforth, and it still wants him dead. Johnny needs to find the will to keep fighting even when it begins to all fall apart. Can Johnny survive the end of the world without losing himself and everything that matters? Fic Playlist: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLkqwkRkgOj8in5y_QJJUSFMBRL6M6-Z4j&si=9G5Gy7ddtlBLTZ3e

[latibule79]

Since last year, life has been throwing me one challenge after another, and things took a turn for the worse in October. Dealing with grief, health issues, and trauma has been draining, to say the least. While there are probably more astrological transits that I’m not even aware of, the recent events - the lunar eclipse in Libra, solar eclipse in Aries, Mercury retrograde, and the Jupiter-Uranus conjunction - seemed to amplify everything. Then, yesterday’s full moon in Scorpio intensified it all even further.

Last night, I hit a breaking point. I seriously considered checking myself into a mental health facility. Thankfully, amidst the chaos, I still had moments of clarity. Instead of acting impulsively, I decided to take a proactive step and made an appointment with my doctor for next week to discuss my mental health.

These past few days have been emotionally heavy. Lots of self-reflection, tears, and feeling physically unwell. It’s been like a mental and physical cleanse, leaving me utterly exhausted. But I’m thankful to God for giving me the strength to keep going and for not losing my mind. I trust that I’ll come out of this stronger, and I have faith that I’m divinely protected. Holding onto this belief is what keeps me going, even in the darkest of times.

[girlamongstthewildflowers]

My Testimony

Hey y’all! Welcome to my blog!! I wanted to tell you a bit about myself incase we don’t know each other.

I’m a twenty six year old wife and mother of one. I grew up in a Christian home. Church every Sunday, praying before every meal and before bed every night. I had deep fear of God and of Jesus’s eventual return. I spent my whole life full of anxiety and fear. Any little noise I didn’t recognize would send me into a fit of tears and shakes. At the age of sixteen I nearly took my own life because I felt so lost. Like God had given up on me because there was so much wrong with me. Like I wasn’t worth saving to Him so why stick around. But I stayed. I kept trying and failing to be the Christian I thought I was supposed to be.

But in 2020 I took a step back from it all. I never stopped believing in God but I had a lot of trauma from my upbringing that made me lose interest in church and the Christian lifestyle all together. I spent the next four years going in and out of deep depression and hopelessness. It wasn’t all bad, though. Of course. I had a baby. I got married. All good things.

But through the spring and summer of 2024 I felt like something big was coming for me. Good or bad I didn’t really know. But I had a very scary thought going through my mind; “something is happening. God is either going to save me from myself. Or I’m going to end myself. I can’t see it any other way”. Then one morning I’m watching a new Christian movie that had come out and for the first time in a very long time, I cried. I was touched by the spirit in a way I hadn’t been in forever. This is something that’s always been important to me. I need to be able to cry for God. I prayed out and asked God to forgive me. After, I texted my mom and told her to pray for me. I knew now that I had done this, Satan was gonna come for me hard. And he did.

The next few months were hard. Habits I so badly wanted to lose got that much harder to let go of. I started church but was discouraged about having a hard time making friends. And life in general got very hard and busy. But then in October I decided enough was enough. I wouldn’t ride the fence anymore. I’m all in.

I was baptized November 3, 2024. And since then I’ve been slowly climbing upward. No matter how hard life gets. No matter what Satan throws at me, I’m solid. I’ve never felt so sure of my faith. What a comfort that is. To know where I’m going when Jesus comes back.

[kingoftheharvestmoon]

Darby’s crucible

Mixed format/no format exaggerated insane poetry

Bitches ain’t shit

I’m sure that’ll hit

You right on the head

hopefully drop you dead

I said

I said our lifestyle absolves you of misogyny

plain, brutal honesty

but modesty feels linked to poverty like

do I control how you think?

and I thunk really hard when the stars were out

and I was out of liquor, so I drank canned heat

and lord: I did not eat for I needed that forsaken heat

and it beat out my head over and over again

like it counted to ten then started again

tell me when it’s over again

I tell you: verily I’m barely coherent

more here than there

And you stare at my words over and over like man oh god is this guy ever sober and yes dude I am sometimes

it is October my favorite month and yes god it is October my favorite month the crunch in the leaves while the barren trees seethe like you could breathe in that sorrow for today and tomorrow

I miss my cat Darby

he hardly had anything to say

but I do miss the times we used to play

Together and I thought it would be forever

but forever is a never so sever that thought

He died in my arms

In my hands he was a little cat, understand

I felt him leave the land and expand out to heaven

I say I tell you I saw the color seven in the purple sunset that appeared the day he died like I cried so violently he had to make sure I could see that he was lonely but okay I just wish it was never today never today

I miss his black pelt, he was so voidous

That you wouldn’t notice him melt into a black chair

There were many times i sat on him

Accidentally cause I couldn’t see him clearly

cause he had his eyes closed

And I miss his sweet little nose

and his little kitten toes

and the way his eyes used to glow when the light caught it right

No lord, not tonight

Is it alright that everything has to die

when not everything has the means to cry

why

why

I say I’ll die when I say I’ll die but I’ve been saying I wanna die so much it feels like a failed first try and you wanna know why

Don’t you

like as if the Holy Ghost abandons anything true

it’s new like brand new like wow who knew

what we could do with nothing

start with destroying something

Muttering is verbal stuttering like tumbling through your choices and the voices said that the dead don’t speak so as long as you’re alive please do speak because you’ll spend an eternity sitting there like oh god if only

It is so lonely to not have a voice

choices boil down to a crown you place where you favor to burn everything now or to save it for later

waiter I wanted no ice in my ice water

can you tell me why I’m such a hater

why later is never good enough

It’s tough but I want it all now I want it all now I’m impatient it comes with being sapient because I don’t want to spend the rest of my life waiting sating that hunger to just go where nobody knows where the wind blows sweet and the lovebirds eat where the heat of the sun is as peaceful as an unloaded gun yeah that’s where I come from

(If the stars are so far away why do they fall down when I pray why don’t they stay in a fixed position from my perspective is there a difference to the ants in my yard I am a colossus but to me myself I just exist in a terrible state of mind but find something greater when you quit being such a hater)

There’s layers there’s layers to my writing it’s not exciting to read but it is interesting to bleed on digital pages and watch the changes as words appear on my screen verily my career is a dream as I can write poetry after looking at memes that make no sense like nothing ever does post modernism is a funeral simply just because it rusts like an old train station there is simply no universal location

and if you listened to gods pacemaker placed in your chest

You’d realize you really do have it best

Miles above the rest but that is an individual observation

It is not dependent on your location

We can all come to that conclusion without losing anything at all

the egos fall is the least painful of them all,

but yet we stall because all of this just exists without meaning

lord could I tell you to visit me while I’m dreaming

and bring Darby too I miss him, and you too

Goodnight