#god I’m going to have a heart attack
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I’ll give you my heart if only you’ll eat.
I am not well about the imagery in the newest chapter. I guarantee I’ll be back with more art in a day or so. @cemeteryguy :))
#The Bizarre Diet of Marine Captain Koby#koby one piece#op koby#captain koby#one piece fic recs#op fanart#op coby#coby one piece#coby#straw hat crew#one piece strawhats#one piece#Printed out the chapter just to gnaw on it like a feral animal I’m so sane I swear don’t worry.#The characterization in this fic is top tier I can’t express even. Franky and Usopp and Zoro and FUUUUCCCKING SANJI!!#Don’t even get me started on Luffy and how much he just doesn’t give a shit about whatever the hell is happening as long as Koby eats.#it’s his love language. Giving and sharing food.#and Zoro!!#Did. Not. Give. One. Shit. ‘You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to.’ HE CARES! SO MUCH! KOBY HE CARES ABOUT YOU ’:(#Zoro knew koby when he was yae high and was scared of Helmeppo of all people. He don’t give a shit. So you’re weird now. Get in line.#god I’m going to have a heart attack#tw gore#tw blood#tw death#TBDOMCK#straw hat luffy#monkey d. luffy#monkey d luffy#luffy#one piece luffy#mugiwara no luffy
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pov the reaper that’s dragging away your boyfriends soul says something so freedomphobic you hit his corpse with the nika stare
#sorry I have like so many thoughts abt these two basically coming back from the dead during roof piece#I’m actually glad zoro didn’t see g5 luffy bc I think he would’ve died from a heart attack or something#but I can like dream. bc the visuals go crazy#luzo#zolu#one piece#monkey d. luffy#roronoa zoro#sun god nika#my art#one piece fanart#luffy#zoro#wano
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Great googley moogley it’s all going to shit! Every day becomes exponentially more terrifying!
And all perfectly timed to just right at the start of what’s supposed to be my adult life where I get my shit together and be useful and productive!
#we’re cooked#we’re doomed#idk the end is nigh or whatever god damn#I just wanna be able to live in my own house and draw a guy sometimes without the ever present threat of the horrors is that too much#apparently yeah cause houses aren’t achievable anymore but man#m a n#especially if you didn’t/couldn’t go to college and aren’t capable of working most jobs#doesn’t help there’s the chance some part of my existence might be suddenly illegal or extremely dangerous yippie!#the options are literally 1. people die 2. people die what the hell do you even do man#how the fuck is this the election I’m gonna get forced to be a part of we’re living in hell#and nobody around me believes it’ll get bad yay great oh so wonderful#I can’t wait to lose rights and cause millions of deaths regardless of who gets chosen#I think one of these days I’m literally just gonna die of stress#it’ll either be a stroke or a heart attack or cancer or uh well ya know#we’re fucked#we’re screwed#I wanna have some kind of an actually visible break down but ive suppressed everything so much that I don’t outwardly emote much anymore :)#and the constantly dissociating thing too I guess#if you ever think ‘oh yeah I can just think of guy in a situation that’s so cool’ don’t it’s a trap—#although tbh this would be significantly worse without it so uh law of equivalent exchange I guess#fuck fuck fuck anyway#not putting this in the main tags#definitely deleting this later#if anyone in my house got any hints that I may or may not have different opinions than them well uh I’m financially dependent on them so um#literally wouldn’t have anywhere to go if anything happened#oh we’re really in it now Simon#hell world#there’s like what 7 genocides going on too I hate everything I hate everything I hate everything#I can’t do anything to help anyone either cause I don’t have a job and I could get kicked out or treated badly at home for it#not that anyone thinks very highly of me at home anyway I am kinda family disappointment number 2 I pretty sure
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i cannot fucking believe i’m moving across the world to study abroad for 9 whole months in less than 2 weeks like i can’t get it through my skull. my life is finally going to take a turn for the better something good is finally going to happen i cannot conceptualize it
#ghoul speaks#i’m going to copenhagen#literally none of it is sinking in except for the plane anxiety#for someone who flies about 10x more often than the average person i am embarrassingly terrified of airplanes#and flying alone internationally on a 2-part flight… god save me i might have a heart attack#ANYWAY expect me blogging abt architecture like a fucking nerd once i’m there
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oh i love spending money to book things oh i do i do
#meows#im. shaking like a chihuahua#going away with my friend at the end of the month and i’m booking things for us to do while she’s doing the travel costs#because i take initiative ‼️#i already spent a lot of money booking a driving test because god doesn’t intend these roads for me i guess#if i don’t have an heart attack at the end of this month oh my god
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NO OMG I FUCKED UP ANOTHER TOOTH BC OF MY PEPPERMINTS AGAIN
#AND I JUST NOTICED TOO#IT HAS A BIG CHIP IN THE SIDE. DUDE. WHAT THE FUCK#i’m not ready for it to start hurting noooo omg i think that’s one of my good teeth too i’ll have to go to the dentist what the fuck#i’m so upset . i hate going to the dentist they are so mean and ruthless and just don’t explain shit no matter how you word the question#and leave you doing the wrong shit for years#but i can’t go through tooth pain for three years straight again i can’t do that again i’ll become even more depressed#i’ll lose whatever self confidence i had left oh my god#oh my god i fucking hate my teeth why can’t they just be NORMAL JESUS CHRIST#i’m not ready to be back in that chair with random men stabbing me and getting mad at me#i’m not ready for the shame at all but i don’t want to risk a heart attack oh my god my stomach hurts so bad#if i could just go back in time and force my mother to force me to brush my teeth so i develop the habit and not have to deal with this +#irreversible bullshit that’s my own fault??? i would do it in a heartbeat oh my god#fuck it why even involve her. i would go back in time and scare my younger self so bad into doing it and i know just how to#but the reason is so embarrassing yeah i fucked up my teeth like last time with the same candy . please don’t mock me#not spiderstuff
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health updates… this should probably go on my “main” blog but. i mean. this essentially is my main blog, at this point.
as of last night i have started a medication for my blood pressure! so far i’m not feeling too much in the way of side effects except for a little sleepy/groggy/etc., which is apparently pretty normal for the first few days.
i’m also going to try a new medication for my triglycerides, since what i was trying previously landed me with some nasty side effects. i’m planning to start it tomorrow!
(when i’m starting new medications, i like to stagger them a couple days apart, so it’s easier to discern what side effect is from what medication.)
#<- bitch who does NOT want to have a heart attack in their thirties.#(i’m not in my 30s yet but i am not going to let this problem continue until then.)#god though. the curse of genetic health fuckery.#v speaks!
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🥲
#Welp#it happened folks#I had a panic attack#a real one#first one in literal years#I’m so upset#and I couldn’t even properly recover#cuz I had to go back to work#I’m exhausted#and my anxiety is so high still#and I still have to drive an hour home in 92 degree heat and blazing sun#and I’m just#I feel so defeated#today was going so well#my heart is still racing#I feel like shit#being mentally ill is so fuckin hard#god dammit#ax says stuff#axel irl
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I just had the single most uncomfortable phone call of my LIFE !!! Someone run my phone over with a TRACTOR and then SHOOT it with an GUN!!
#basically I was talking to a coworker asking for advice on how to handle another coworker of ours who had said some vaguely racist shit#fairly regularly#like she’s older so her heart is in the right place but it’s…. uncomfortable yk ?#and this coworker set up a meeting with admin to talk about how I feel victimized and am afraid to speak up (I’m not)#but I had my meeting and basically said ‘I want it on paper that I talked to y’all and asked for advice but I’d rather try to approach this#on my own and solve it person to person without attacking her or having her reprimanded’#and admin was like cool so we are actually totally gonna let you do that and also have a meeting where we do the opposite of that tehe#so I got a call from my coworker today that was like ‘UHHHH DID YOU GO TO ADMIN AND TELL THEM YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE IN MY CLASSROOM BECAUSE#YOU THINK IM RACIST??’#like bro#I eat one meal a day and I get this shit during my dinner time#fuuuuuuuccccckkkk#like I was completely blindsided with this and thank god I can talk normally while crying bc I was fuckjng sobbing from anxiety#like yeah you did say some racist shit but working with you is better than working with any of the other people who don’t have their shit#together#as shitty as it sounds I’ve kinda come accept a certian level of micro aggression (and macroagressiom bc tbh Glenda girl you go too far)#like I’m always uncomfortable and always unhappy and I’m always gonna be like that but NOW I’m uncomfortable because I’m getting#a phone call during MY dinner bc admin did exactly what I did not want them to do#like I wish there was a way that I could be like ‘yo I’m formally reporting that some shady shit is happening- I wanna handle it peacefully’#‘but if it can’t be resolved I want to cover my ass and not get my words twisted#I like working with Glenda most of the time… just not when she’s talking about white privelage or lack there of…#no Gelnda the teacher shortage isn’t caused by bps only hiring poc teachers and not giving jobs to white people#I promise reverse racism isn’t the root of why we can’t get coverage for music health or financial literacy or seventh grade ELA or math#idk idk I’m not doing it Justice#like I was uncomfortable in the classroom before but now I’m gonna be MORE uncomfortable bc all this shit blew up in my face#all this taught me is to never speak up about microaggressions and never go to administration with concerns of how to solve issues-#you know: the exact WRONG takeaway because everything is so fucking messy#fuck me I can’t wait to apply for work outside of the US#also not to have a cynic victim mentally but none of this shot would’ve happened if I was white… :/#but yeah.. whatever … middle eastern people don’t experience racism ig
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Totally greened out last night 👍🏻
#and at my grown age. it’s embarrassing#apparently 3 weeks of tolerance break is long enough to just completely demolish your tolerance. who knew#50mg brownie had me thinking i was going to meet god#i hope this doesn’t become a regular thing. that would suck#i’m going to have like a third of the amount next time and have a big pitcher of ice water available#and watch something other than true crime??? my viewing choices were genuinely insane#at one point there was surveillance footage of a man following a woman in the street and i thought i was going to have a heart attack#i was so scared for her#i think i’ve gotta stick with cooking shows. or something fictional but not disturbing#personal
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Weight talk tw I guess idk how to describe the post sorry im a little high
It’s so weird being around people who talk about weight problems (IOP) and like idk it brings up weird shit in my brain almost anxiety that I should feel bad about myself somehow like I’m doing this wrong being confident idk. Weird self doubt thing that happens when you’ve loved yourself (hmm. Rephrase. I don’t care about being fat. let’s say that.) and then you’re in a room full of people having a group discussion about how they avoid living their life in happy ways because they don’t want to become like you. But you love yourself. But everyone in your life since you were little has been dieting and talking about weight and specific numbers (someone was anxious about gaining seven pounds! SEVEN. If they saw my scale they would shit themselves. I put on seven pounds taking a big bong rip Jesus fucking Christ seven pounds. I wanted to rip my hair out.)
Next time weight issues come up in IOP I’m stepping out of the room. Like idk how to explain it cause it’s like not a trigger but I guess it is ? But it’s just so weird like the way I’m triggered makes me want to cry why does the world hate me for being fat what the fuck !!!!
#me when I gain weight issues through thinking about my own body in a group setting#ughhh#whatever fuck it#taking an anxiety med chavas at work Levi’s on a train (EXCITED!!!!) I’m gonna take my little sedative friend and try to take a nap bc six#and a half hours after the last two days I’ve had is fucking nothing. going to nap city will fix me.#also taking my morning med. I haven’t done that yet I need to eat *stares into camera* to take my meds gahhhh I hate having a human form an#intestines just take the med with one cracker and not get sick what the fuck body I’m so sick of heart burn I want to burn down the world#and now that I’ve had a med increase I get fucking withdrawal symptoms if I miss a morning dose which I found out bc I left my meds at home#accidentally on Monday when I was so overtired and forgot to put them back in my bag for IOP (cause they have food at IOP so I take them#there once I’ve eaten) and then I had a headache for like half of the day and I was so overtired I was crying on the drive home cause I#wanted to sleep so bad and then I got home and my brain wouldn’t shut the fuck up even on the sleep meds until I talked to kath and she#calmed me down just existing the little sweetheart god I love her okay anyways babble over I’m very overtired and a little cranky and my#brother has been in a very bitchy mood recently idk what’s got him on edge but everything is setting him off into little fights like not#just with me he was fighting with mom this morning he’s just kick to getting worked up recently which leads to me being angry wanting to be#rude which means do the opposite which means show extra compassion woohoo coping skills 🗣️🗣️#anyways. post panic attack sedative nap (my beloved) or perhaps work on editing my vlog#I’m high I forgot you can’t hit comma on tags. edit my vlog. vacuum. (I always spell vacuum with two c’s and not two u’s and I think#autocorrect should not correct me on that one bc I think I am right in my soul idk why#there’s another word I’m like that with but I forget what it is . okay bye thank you for listening to my type words goodbye goodnight mwah#it’s nap time babyyyyyy#idk if I have to trigger tag this ? someone let me know if I do please
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Ohhh my god I have so much shit I was supposed to do over break and the second I got off school it slipped my mind like water through a fuckin sieve and now by god am I reaping what I sow
#didn’t practice the songs OR the choreo for freaky friday#didn’t do any of my impending projects#didn’t suffer through going prom dress shopping like I was supposed to#literally the only thing I did was submit my bio for freaky Friday I think#why the FUCK am I so forgetful ohhhhh my god#could I just. Have not gotten a TBI so that I could actually remember shit#I reckon I’m on the verge of a heart attack. Womp womp#cal talks
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Zosan fics be like (part 2)
Elaborated thoughts and fic names under the cut
Cat fic - stay by itsmylifekay
Probably just my favorite cat zoro fic I’ve read, very cute, and as all cat fics do, gives me a heart attack by letting the catified person drink alcohol(never give cats alcohol it is incredibly toxic)
Wado fic - precious thing by hllfire
I love this fic it’s a really cool take on how bonding with the swords works and also how sanji bonding with wado would effect things, I also just love wado being able to communicate and kinda pushing them along
King/god zoro fic
This one isn’t a specific one sadly but I’ve read like 3 of these and can probably track them down again if any of y’all want
Soulmates fic - learning to listen by three_days_late
I’m usually pretty neutral on soulmate fics but I like this one because zoro pretty much immediately fucks himself over with it and they have to pull back from that
Unprompted proposal fic - firestarters by adietxt
This one is short but sweet, zoro starts saying what’s on his mind not realizing he’s literally just proposing out of nowhere
Little sanji fic - to you, formerly me by Trixtree
This one isn’t a zosan fic but I’m including it because I adore it. I see a lot of zosan fics where sanji gets reverted to baby sanji and gets attatched to zoro(which are fine but not my favorite) but never any where adult sanji gets to stay and interact with baby sanji which they go into with this one,, they do some really cool stuff with seeing how it effects both Sanji’s and the crew by extension
#zosan#one piece zosan#one piece#my art#fic recs I guess#first batch of these kinda ended up being fic recs for people so just gonna lean into that now lol#roronoa zoro#black leg sanji#sanji#one piece zoro#one piece sanji#cat zoro#straw hat pirates#wado ichimonji#these are all on AO3 btw#fic recs#zosan fics
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I’m sure someone’s already headcannoned this, but Bruce having pet names for the Batkids? Man, those are his babies—you can bet your ass he has pet names for them. He might not be the type of man to show much affection beyond a shoulder pat or the occasional forehead kiss, but he’s determined to parent the crap outta these orphans, and pet names are an easier medium to show that he cares.
Dick is both “chum” and “sweetheart” depending on the context. When Bruce is feeling playful and comfortable (the easy, “your mine and I’m just happy to be here with you” kind of love), he’ll stick with “chum” and Dick absolutely loves it. But when Dick’s sick or has a nightmare or got injured during patrol? It’s sweetheart. It’s default mode for Bruce, because seeing Dick in pain brings up so many raw, intense emotions (Bruce gets scared, goddamit) that it’s easier for him to say “I’ve got you, sweetheart, it’s okay, just keep your eyes on mine,” then it is to say “I’m so terrified that I’m going to loose you, I love you, you’re my everything.”
Jason is“Jaylad.” But it’s less of the name that’s important and more of the story behind it that is. For the first few months that Jason was in Bruce’s care, Bruce didn’t dare call him anything other then his name, in fear that he’d scare him away (he was already so distrusting, so hesitant, so fearful whenever Bruce talked to loud or moved to fast or got upset), but at the same time, he’d seen how pleased Dick had been at being called “chum” and wanted to bestow a similar endearment on Jason. But—he didn’t want to go to far. So instead of calling him “lad” like his own father had once called him, Bruce calls him “Jaylad.” It’s a little more impersonal, but it makes Jason more comfortable. (But when Bruce cradled his son’s broken body he said “no, darling, not you, don’t leave me—” because just how Dick is “sweetheart,” Jason has also always been “darling.”)
For Tim… it’s more complicated. He shoved his way into Bruce’s life and he’s forever grateful, but it wasn’t the same as it was with Jason and Dick. He sees Tim as his son, of course, but their relationship was built on the darkest, most despairing part of Bruce’s life. But even in that terrible season, Bruce would look over at Tim working on a case or cleaning his suit and say, “Good job, sport.” It doesn’t happen often, but Tim is “sport.”
Cassandra is “love.” Bruce has never said it to her, aloud, but he knows Cass can read him well enough to hear the unspoken endearment, to see how much he longs to protect her, bring her joy, fill her heart with all the love she’s filled his with.
Steph is “duck.” And not necessarily because Bruce decided that it was, but because 9 times out of 10 he finds himself screaming, “Robin, get down!” because Stephanie will not for the love of God follow his orders, and end up right in the line of fire. To save time he eventually just started saying “Duck!” It keeps Steph from getting whacked to high heavens and saves Bruce (another) heart attack, but over the years it’s also become somewhat of a ritual to say “duck” whenever Steph walks in the room. Bruce secretly wants to call her “ducky” (which is what his mother called Kate), but he’s never worked up the nerve.
Duke is “kid.” By the time he’s in the family, Bruce has loosened up and lightened up, especially with everyday affection (which is to say, he’s not avoiding it like the plague). He’s quick to say “Good job, kid” whenever Duke had an accomplishment or ask “how are you today, kiddo?” when they see each other in passing in the Batcave.
Damian, lastly, would never allow Bruce to call him anything other then his name. But every once in a while, Bruce can get away with saying “son.” And it’s the best thing in the world.
#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#cassandra cain#damian wayne#duke thomas#stephanie brown#batfamily#dc#batman#dc comics#batfamily headcannons#pet names#batfamily pet names#bruce wayne loves his kids
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broken up? no, engagement! | max verstappen
pairing: max verstappen x actress!reader
summary: y/n l/n has a weird way of announcing hers and max’s engagement.
liked by, danielricciardo, charles_leclerc, and 602,927 others!
yourusername: i no longer have a boyfriend.
view comments below!
user1: wait what
user2: i’m sorry???
user3: DID YOU AND MAX BREAK UP???
user4: no no no
user5: this CANNOT mean what i think it does
user6: you’re kidding me right
charles_leclerc: please answer my messages!
user8: no way
user9: THE CAPTION???
danielricciardo: ?
danielricciardo: answer my messages please
landonorris: mine too?
user10: does anyone know what is going on?
user11: so you’re available now 😏
user12: you were too pretty for max anyways 🙄
landonorris: um what’s going on?
user13: lando just being as lost is so??
user14: wait but why would she and max break up
user15: i’m so…confused?
user16: MAX ISNT IN THE LIKES??? OMG NOOO
— f1gossip has posted new pictures!
f1gossip: y/n l/n was seen cozying up with cast mate, Luke Newton amidst breakup rumors between her and max verstappen. thoughts?
view comments below!
user17: “cozying up” and it’s her taking a picture of him ??? 🙄
user18: admin is acting like they were making out in front of everyone…
user19: oh!
user20: users on twitter were saying max was THERE with them so??
user21: she moves on fast!
user22: this sounds wrong…
user23: we literally know NOTHING about hers and max’s relationship or WHY they broke up. let’s not assume.
user24: my heart just broke
user25: okay but her and luke are kinda cute together? no? just me?
user26: HER AND MAX WERE CUTERRR
user27: i’ll start foaming at the mouth if y/n l/n doesn’t come out and say her caption was just a joke.
user28: HER AND MAX WERE SUPPOSED TO GET MARRIEDDDD!!!!!😓😓😓
user29: i can’t do this rn. i just can’t.
liked by yourusername, danielricciardo, landonorris, charles_leclerc, and 962,028 others!
maxverstappen1: I understand that, without my agreement, my lovely finance has put out a instagram post this morning indicating that we have broken up. This is wrong, we have not broken up. We got engaged. We are to be wed.
view comments below!
yourusername: i thought they would understand what i meant 😞
user30: GIRL ALL YOU SAID WAS YOU NO LONGER HAD A BF???
user31: you did NOT phrase your words correctly
user32: gave me heart attack and for what 😐
user33: don’t play with me like that ever again.
danielricciardo: i love you @/yourusername, but please do not play with my heart like that again.
danielricciardo: BUT YAY!!!! WEDDING OF THE CENTURY!!
user34: OMG ???
user35: I KNEW IT!!! I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!
user36: AHHHHH AHHHHH AHHHHH AHHHH
user37: oh thank GOD
user38: pls don’t ever scare me like that again 💗
landonorris: OMG OMG OMG OMG ???!??!??
landonorris: AND YOU LOT DIDNT TELL ME ?!?!?
landonorris: YNSTAPPEN WEDDING!! AHHHH
user39: congratulations!!!
f1: about time you proposed 😒
maxverstappen1: ?
redbullracing: so excited for the red bull themed wedding!! ☺️
yourusername: yeah that won’t be happening
redbullracing: i understand.
user40: i’m crying??
user41: does this mean i don’t have a chance with y/n anymore ?? ☹️
user42: THAT SHOULDVE BEEN MEE
charles_leclerc: congratulations too you both 💗
maxverstappen1: thank you charles 💙💙
user43: omg just ask him to be your best man already 🙄🙄
oscarpiastri: it is an honor to have my tweet used as your engagement announcement 🧡🧡
yourusername: max couldn’t resist 😒
user44: i just know this wedding is going to be GORGEOUS
georgerussell63: congrats too you both! ❤️
yourusername: you’ll sing at the wedding right?
georgerussell63: duh 🙄
yourusername: perfect!
lewishamilton: so excited 💗💗
yukitsunoda0511: can i cook?
yourusername; of course you can yuki!!
user45: i’m so excited and it’s NOT EVEN MY WEDDING??
schecoperez: did you tell her how you were shitting yourself with nerves this entire week?
maxverstappen1: no 😒
yourusername: aw max 🥹🥹
liked by, maxverstappen1, georgerussell63, oscarpiastri, and 1,238,028 others!
yourusername; i got married today. it was cool. 10/10 would do again!
view comments below!
user46: was the wedding 10/10 or was the groom 10/10??
yourusername: both!
user45: OMG ITS HAPPENED??
user46: so happy for you both 🥹
maxverstappen1: 💙💙
georgerussell63: i personally think my singing brought everything together…
yourusername: it really did george, it really did
charles_leclerc: so incredibly happy for you both ❤️
user47: we all saw the video of you sobbing during the ceremony charles…
user48: to be fair, EVERYONE was sobbing
user49; their vows even made ME cry
landonorris: amazing wedding, 10/10 would attend again!
yourusername: thank you little lando 🧡🧡
oscarpiastri: i would like to request the video of my dancing to be scrubbed off of the internet.
maxverstappen1: no chance mate 😂
yourusername: it’s okay oscar, i thought your dancing was adorable!!
lewishamilton: me and roscoe had the times of our lives ❤️❤️
user50: ROSCOE WENT TO THE WEDDING ?? 😭
user51: not only roscoe, but alex and TWO of his cats 😭😭
liked by, yourusername, danielricciardo, yukitsunoda0511, shecoperez, and 1,629,028 others!
maxverstappen1: i married my bestfriend today. it was amazing. 10/10 would do again!
view comments again!
user52: he’s officially off the market ladies 😒
user53: he’s been off the market for 4 years ???
user54: if my man doesn’t love me as much as max loves y/n i don’t WANT HIM
user55: ever since y/ns “i no longer have a bf” post i’ve been thanking the gods that this is how it turned out
danielricciardo: bestfriend? wow, you get married and suddenly you forget who raised you.
maxverstappen1: y/n is my bestfriend. she always will be.
danielricciardo: JUST RUB IT IN THEN.
user56: omg her dress 😍😍
user57; them >>
user58: did you guys see that they BOTH took each others last name??
user59: wait really?
user58: yeah 🥹 it’s y/n l/n-verstappen and max verstappen-l/n
user60: that is the cutest thing ever
user61: the matching captions 😞😞
user62: remember last year when y/n made everyone believe they broke up??
user63: thank GOD that wasn’t true
yourusername: i love you mr l/n
maxverstappen1: i love you more mrs verstappen
user64: WHEN IS IT MY FUCKING TURN
#max verstappen social media au#max verstappen smau#max verstappen x y/n#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen x you#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen x reader#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1 x y/n#f1 x female reader#f1 x you#f1 social media au#f1
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༉‧₊˚. "Shut up, mom!" prank with JJK men.
➜ featuring: nanami kento, gojo satoru, geto suguru.
➜synopsis: your child(ren) has a death wish for sure.
➜note: wasn't able to pick a name for nanami's child. also sorry to the anon who sent this, i had a hard time understanding the request at first. anyway, part 2?
༉‧₊˚. reblog + comment!
༉‧₊˚. NANAMI KENTO
“You need to start learning how to fold your clothes,” you mention casually to your daughter as you carry a basket of warm laundry to the couch.
“Why would I do that?” Nanami’s eyes look up from his book, but he doesn’t budge.
“When you move out, you will only have yourself to rely on,” you continue with the advice and your daughter rolls her eyes as she makes her way to the kitchen.
“Ugh moving out this, moving out that. Just say you want to get rid of me.”
“What–I would never, I’m just reminding you that one day you will become an adult and–”
“Oh just shut up, mom!”
You truly gave birth to a mini you, a prankster. When you first saw the tiktok trend, you and your daughter had giggled to yourselves at the thought of getting a reaction out of her father. Though, you did warn her of the repercussions. Your husband did not play when it came to showing respect to you.
“I beg your pardon?” Nanami sits up from the couch so fast, it almost makes you jump out of your skin. You don’t have time to react, or hold him back before he is storming towards the kitchen where your teenage daughter was hiding. “What did you just say to your mother?”
“I said shut up, because she was bothering me.”
“And you think that’s one way to speak to my wife?” You see his eyebrows furrow, he even slams the book he was reading down on the kitchen counter so hard that his arm veins are about to pop out.
“Kento,” you walk up behind him, calling out his name softly.
“No, let me take this.”
“No baby listen–”
“I said I will take this.” It’s only when he repeats himself in a stern manner, that your daughter starts to giggle nervously.
“Daddy, it was a prank.”
“Yeah, baby it’s a prank.” You rub his shoulders and biceps reassuringly. Your daughter quickly wraps her arms around his waist and buries her face in his chest.
“I’d never be disrespectful like that.”
“Yeah well, it almost gave me a heart attack,” his voice is now much softer and warmer as he exhales, running his fingers through his daughter’s hair. He pulls you towards him and kisses your forehead before patting his daughter’s head.
“Now, whose idea was it?”
“Mommy’s.”
“Hey!”
༉‧₊˚. GOJO SATORU
“Hey Ryuu, could you take out the trash please?”
“No, I’m busy.” Satoru’s ears perk up at the sound of his son’s tone. But he doesn’t budge from where he’s standing in the kitchen.
“Baby, it’s been sitting there all day and it’s full. Could you please–”
“Shut up, mom. I said I’m busy.”
Normally, Satoru wasn’t easy to rile up. His relationship with his son was hilarious, one where he doted on his child whilst the latter pretended as though he couldn’t stand all the love and affection he received from his dad. But despite all the love that Satoru had for his son, you were number one. You come first, you are his wife and the mother of his child. When his son will leave, you will be the one he gets to spend the rest of his time with–and when he decided to marry you, a child wasn’t even in the picture.
So he will be damned if he was just going to stand there and let his son talk to you like that.
You freeze when you feel a sudden surge of cursed energy–you knew your husband when he got angry, it clouded over the rational part of his brain. So when you see him start to walk upstairs where his son is, you have to physically grab his arm to stop him. Thank god the infinity was off.
“Satoru– toru! Baby!”
“Who the fuck does he think he is, huh?” His eyes are glowing. You really shouldn’t have played this prank on him.
“It’s a prank baby.”
“A prank?” It’s fascinating how this man can go from 0 to 100 back to 0 so quickly. He calms down so fast, glancing at the top of the stairs where he sees his son standing with his hands in his pockets.
“I told her it would be a bad idea.”
“I–hey! I didn’t think it was gonna be this bad,”
“I did,” Ryuu starts to walk down the stairs and past you two. “He’s said it before. He doesn’t play when it comes to people showing you respect, even if it’s his own son.”
Satoru can only sigh at his son’s words before staring at you. “Don’t do that again.”
“I won’t…But I won’t lie, seeing you riled up like that–”
“I’m too old to have a sibling!”
༉‧₊˚. GETO SUGURU
Your girls were a giggly mess. You shush them before saying very loudly.
“In what world is this acceptable?”
“Mom,” your daughter, Tsukimi, feigns an annoyed tone, refusing to look up from her phone. “I really don’t care.”
“But I do.” You stand over her bed, motioning for her twin sister to get into the role as well.
“Does it matter?” Asahi uses the same annoyed, bored tone. One that quickly catches Suguru’s attention. He walks into the main area from the garage before hearing the argument upstairs.
Quickly wiping his hands with the dirty rag attached to his pants, he starts to make his way up to your twin daughters’ room to see what it was about.
“Of course it does, I’m your mother.”
“You’re really just pushing it.”
“You sneaked out last night! Do you know how disappointed your father will be?” Suguru freezes up at the revelation. But he doesn’t let his disappointment or anger get the best of him, maybe the four of you can work this out–your girls were at a rebellious age, this was bound to happen and all he needs to do is figure out a way for all of you to get along without–
“Aren’t you supposed to be our best friend or something?” Tsukimi sits up on the bed, furrowing her eyebrows in a way that reminds you how similar her and her father’s features are.
“Right now I’m your mother.”
“Oh would you just shut up?”
A loud slam makes the three of you flinch, and you turn to find Suguru standing by the door looking as angry as a raging bull.
“Who said it.”
“Wha–”
“Who said it. Who was it?” He is so furious you could see steam coming out from the top of his head. “Have you lost your fucking minds to be talking to your mother like that? Did I fail at educating you or what?”
“Suguru–”
“No,” he puts a hand on your shoulder, gently pushing you out of the room. “I need to talk to them.”
“No wait, listen–”
“I don’t want to hear it.” When you see that he had a stern look on his face, you realize that you need to save your daughters from the prank.
“It was a prank. I promise you.”
“It really was a prank,” your twin daughters are sitting on the same bed, looking as sheepish and as guilty as ever.
“And it was my idea,” Tsukimi adds.
“And I didn’t stop her.” Your thumbs trace his cheeks, smiling apologetically at him. “Sorry,”
Suguru sighs, resting his hands on his hips as he shakes his head.
“Fucking prankters. That almost gave me a heart attack.”
“But admit it, we’re good actresses, right?” Asahi asks with a grin and Suguru chuckles before ruffling her hair.
“Yeah, you sure are.”
➜ ┊: COMMISSIONS | KOFI
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