#so my heart just kept sinking and sinking and my anxiety kept growing until it spilled over

[nina-ya]

I’m gonna go work on some more of the ficmas things to hopefully get rid of my stress 💃💃💃I’ll see yall on the other side

[minminyoonjii]

hey! how are you? i hope you’re doing well :D

i just found your account yesterday and can’t stop reading everything on your masterlist i recently started getting into fan fiction and i love your writing style so much!

idk if your requests are open since i’ve never done this before but i wanted to make a request for ot8 caregiver!stray kids and little f!reader where they help the reader fall asleep because she’s been really stressed lately.

take your time if you do choose to write about this <33

❤️Ultimate Masterlist

💜Rules and Guidelines

🧡Stray Kids Scenarios Masterlist

🌹CW

Wholesome|Domestic Settings|Fluffy|Anxiety|Stressed Reader|Frustrated Reader|Says 'I hate you' in Hyunjin, not him|Grumpy Little|Tooth Rotting Sweet

💌 This is a work of fiction, I by all means don't force ship anyone. They have the right to love whomever they want.

🍄Wordcount: 1.3K

Bang Chan

"What are you doing up, hm? It's past your bed time, little one," Chan whispered, stroking your hair. You clutched your plush tight, "Bed uncomfy," you grumbled, kicking off your blanket. Chan studied your behavior, "Do you want to sleep in your crib today?" he asked, thinking perhaps your bed felt too big. You reluctantly nodded, "But crib is for babies," you murmured, curling up. Chan easily lifted you in his arms, "Little ones' like you have special powers. They can sleep anywhere they want," he said, kissing your forehead. You looked up at him, "Really, Daddy?" you asked, innocent curiosity sparkling in your exhausted eyes. Chan chuckled, laying you down in the crib, "Of course, baby," he whispered, tucking the blanket to your sides and placed your plush right back in your arms. A big yawn escaped past your lips. "Eepy baby," Chan cooed, brushing back your hair. You nuzzled into your plush, your eyes droopy from sleep. A soft smile etched his lips, "Shh, shh, shh. Just close your eyes, baby. Daddy will be right here," he whispered, gently coaxing you to sleep.

Lee Minho

"Cupcake? Where have you gone?" Minho called out, looking around the dorm. You bit you bottom lip, hiding to silence your weak sniffles. Minho caught notice of your sounds, "Mama's not mad that you're still awake. He's just very worried, cupcake," he whispered, following the soft sniffs. He pulled back the curtain, only to see you curled up beneath with your face buried within plushie. "Aigo-yah. Who made my little cupcake cry, hm?" he cooed, carrying you against his chest. Your sniffles, broke his heart. "Tell mama what's wrong. Little cupcakes like you shouldn't have to struggle alone," he coaxed, hoping you'd talk. "Can't eep," you whispered, nuzzling his shoulder. Minho sighed in relief, "Did you get frustrated?" he asked, kissing your forehead. You nodded, your eyes heavy from crying. Minho bounced you in his arms, "Mama's here now. You can sleep, my little cupcake," he whispered, bouncing you until your soft snores echoed within his ears.

Seo Changbin

"Baba!" you wailed, alerting Changbin's panic. "Are you hurt? Are you okay?" he questioned, examining your entire body. You sniffled, looking up at him, "Baba, help," you whispered, scarying him even more. Changbin felt his heart sink, "Oh, agi-ah. What can Baba do, agi?" he whispered, wiping your tears. You wrinkled your nose, "Baba eep wif me," you slurred, sleep begging you to rest but the stress kept you restless. Changbin bit back a chuckled, "Aww, you couldn't sleep, agi?" he whispered, tucking himself next to you. "Ahm," you hummed, burying yourself into his strong safe hold. "You're going to be the death of me," he whispered under his breath. You curled up against his chest, soft snores leaving your exhausted body. Changbin kissed your cheek, "Sweet dreams, uri agi-ah," he whispered, falling asleep with you.

Hwang Hyunjin

You tossed and turned in your bed. Annoyance growing gradually as you lose more and more minutes of sleep. Hyunjin opened your door to check up on you. What he didn't expect was a glaring little one. "Lovely, why are you still awake?" he whispered, walking towards you cautiously. "I hate you," you grumbled, frustrated with everything within your vicinity. Hyunjin's eyes widen, "We don't say hate in this household, love," he said, trying to correct your behavior when you threw Jiniret right at his chest. "Go away!" you exclaimed, angry tears forming in your eyes. Hyunjin sighed and carried you up, "I think you need some fresh air," he said placing you plush on your chest. You squirmed in his hold, "No, no, no!" you sniffled, restless from underlying stress and frustration. Hyunjin grunted but held you tighter, "Look up, lovely," he whispered, walking out the back door. You clenched your jaw and did as told. The sight of stars and the cool night breeze surrounded you in a comforting embrace. You rubbed your eyes, sleep latching on your eyelids. Hyunjin exhaled in relief as you began drifting off, "Sleep well, naughty love. Papa knows you best," he whispered, enjoying the night breeze with you in his arms.

Han Jisung

You exhaled deeply, your joints aching "Hhgh," you whined. You grabbed your plush and waddled your way towards Jisung's room. "Appa," you whispered, knocking on his door. Jisung opened it with a worried expression, "What's wrong, sweetheart?" he asked, letting you into his room. You fidget your fingers, "Can't sleep," you whispered, your anxiety weighing heavy on your chest. Jisung gave you a sympathetic smile, "Well, you don't have to sleep right away, sweetie. Do you want to watch a movie with Appa?" he asked, setting up his phone stand. You nodded, "Can we watch Totoro?" you whispered, crawling onto the bed. Jisung opened his arms, "Of course, sweetheart. Come here, come into Appa's comfy arms," he chuckled, seeing you plop yourself right on his chest. Jisung gave you a big squeeze, "One studio ghibli, coming right up," he said, kissing your nose as you both watched the movie.

Lee Felix

"Oh my goodness, sunshine. It's way past your bedtime," he chastised, taking your phone from you. "But-," you said, only to get cut of by Felix's stern tone. "No buts, little sun. The moon has come out to play so little lights like you should be resting in bed," he said, gently tucking you back in. You stared up at him, "I don't feel comfy," you mumbled, tossing and turning for a comfortable spot. Felix pursed his lips, "How about this, mommy will carry you to the couch. You get yourself all comfy like you usually do for nap and if you manage to fall asleep in that position, mommy will carry you back to bed after a few hours," he said, knowing sometimes you needing a more confined place to sleep in. You nodded and raised both your arms. Felix chuckled, carrying you with your favorite plush, "Now let's get our little sunshine the rest they deserve," he whispered, pampering kisses on your face as he goes.

Kim Seungmin

Your head throbbed, hindering your sleep. You crawled out of bed and wobbled to the kitchen for a medkit, "There," you whispered, taking out some pain killers. Seungmin stood behind you, "Why are you still up?" he asked, scaring you into dropping the pills. You flinched, "Seung, you scared me," you whispered, holding your pounding chest. He chuckled and picked up the pills scattered around, "Sorry but you have yet to answer my question," he said, handing you the medicine. You blew on them and took them, "I had a headache," you whispered, rinsing your glass. Seungmin nodded, "Do you need my help? Dada has ways to sooth his little munchkin," he said, rubbing your nape. You gulped, "Dada don't mind?" you whispered, slowly slipping into the comfortable headspace you love. He shook his head, "Dada doesn't mind at all," he reassured, rinsing your pacifier and clipped it against your pyjamas. You immediately took it and popped it into your mouth. Seungmin chuckled and booped your nose, "Time for bed, little munchkin. Just relax, Dada has everything under control," he said, patting your head.

Yang Jeongin

"Ninnin," you whimpered, crawling into his lap. Jeongin pulled you close, "Are you feeling okay, angel?" he whispered, rubbing your tummy. You melted into his arms, "Body achy," you whispered, feeling the aftermath of your stress lingering in your body. Jeongin frowned, "That can't do," he said, laying you down the the couch. You buried your face into your plush, exhausted coaxing your mind. "Just relax, okay. You're in good hands, my little angel," he whispered, kneading your back and shoulder. Soft whines and gasps escaped your lips. Jeongin cooed, seeing your sleeping face, "That's it, just sink deeper and deeper into the feeling," he cooed, rubbing your calves and knees. You hissed when he massaged your knees, "Hah, owie," you whined, squirming away. Jeongin smiled softly, "Sorry, angel. Do you feel sleepy now?" he whispered, patting your bum like a parent would for an infant. You nodded, snoring softly as your drifted off to Dreamland.

[the-fiction-witch]

Little Squirrel

Media The Artful Dodger

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating Cute AF

Warning for panic attacks + Abuse

Y/n (me) has a baby (named Lillian) (previous relationship; the father was mentally and physically abusive). Y/n’s baby gets sick (not deadly, just a cold or something) but Jack looks her over and instantly falls in love with Y/n. Y/n likes him too but is scared to get into another relationship. Y/n has panic attacks a lot. Jack helps her and takes care of Lillian as well. Becomes a father figure to Lillian as she grows up. Y/n and Jack fall in love and have another child. POV can be either Y/n or Jack. It can have time skips so that it’s not so long, but I would love to read a lot of Jack helping Y/n with the panic attacks and Y/n during the pregnancy of the second child. There can be parts that are NSFW, but that doesn’t need to be the focus.

"Rock a bye baby on the tree top...When the wind blows the cradle will rock... When the bough breaks the cradle will fall... And down will come baby... cradle and all." I sang as my feet danced gently across the wooden floor, my bare feet gracefully moved across the wood as I held sweet little Lillian in my arms, her head on my chest I kept my hand on her head feeling the heat of her fever. She had been feeling sick the last day or two slowly getting worse, But I just wanted to get her to bed for the night, "Hush-a-by baby on the tree top... When the wind blows the cradle will rock... When the bough breaks the cradle will fall... Down tumbles baby... cradle and all." I sang to her giving her a little kiss before I laid her down in her crib, and tucked the blanket over her and her sweet little teddy bear in her arms, "Sleep well little one," I cooed before I sat on my bed. 

I made sure to watch Lillian as I got changed, unable to stop my fear for her.

I left the room and moved to the bathroom standing by the sink to brush my teeth and looking at my pale reflection, my  hair still in the braid I did a week ago, my Y/E/C eyes seemed hollow to it all. As I glanced at my reflection my whole body jumped as for a moment I saw HIM in the mirror stood behind me. I jumped and washed my face knowing in my better judgment that he wasn't there, but as I looked up and met my reflection again he stood beside me his hand grabbed my neck and I screamed, But again. Nothing there.

I gasped my heart racing, my anxiety overwhelming, the sound of the tap running, my own gasping, ringing in my ears and Lillian crying in the bedroom. 

I forced my own emotions away and ran to the bedroom to pick her up in my arms and soothe her cries, until finally, she fell back asleep so I returned her to her crib and laid down on my own bed for a few moments just staring into space trying to feel calm. 

As much as I didn't like it I knew I didn't have a choice, I walked into the Port Victory Royal Hospital with Lillian on my hip in her little cream dress her  hair in a ponytail. Poor little thing had been coughing all night and her fever had gotten no better, I walked in and up to the small window where a man sat typing on a typewriter. He didn't even look up at me.

"Yes?"

"Hello, I uhh I need to see a doctor for my daughter."

The man looked up at me and glared before he looked back down, "Room three Doctor Dawkins will see you." 

I nodded and went to the small room he told me to, I sat on the bed and I gave Lillian the soothe as best I could trying to make sure she felt okay even if she coughed away. 

After a while the door opened to a strapping man in brown lace-up shoes, some tight brown trousers, and a white shirt with some very large sleeves so long that his cuffs that should have been tight around his wrists were loose halfway down his hands and soaked with bloodstains, a textured blue waistcoat that didn't fit him correctly as his suspender clips poked out the bottom, a green tie around his pushed up collar even if one side was flattered down, he had a sweet face, freshly shaven, and a head of blonde and brown hair that seemed to bounce as he swaggered confidently into the room. 

His brown eyes met me and for a moment he stopped short looking me up and down as his smile grew, he moved his hands behind his back and a wide smile moved across his lips, "Morning,"

"Morning, Doctor Dawkins?"

"The Very same," He nodded, "You are Mrs?"

"Miss actually, just uhh just Y/n is fine."

"Y/n." He smiled, "A very beautiful name and a ravishing young lady, You are welcome to call me Jack,"

"Ohh that's alright-"

"No no, I insist." he smiled as he cleaned his hands, "Now how can I help such a... gorgeous young lady." 

I blushed instantly not being used to hearing such compliments even if part of me tried to put up a wall knowing the sort of things that follow compliments. "Oh, Thank you. But not myself doctor this little one," I said bouncing Lillian on my knee, 

"Ohh I see, The even prettier littler lady," He smiled, "May I?"

"Just uhh be gentle with her."

"Of course, I'm a doctor I'm always gentle." he winked before he picked Lillian up and cradled her in his arms she quickly saw his face and began to giggle at him, "Awww aren't you a sweetheart, what's your name then little one?"

"Lillian," I answered, "she.. uhh doesn't speak yet." 

"Humm unusual for girls her age, still we all go at our own pace." He said, "You have a very charming name Miss Lillian, and a very beautiful big sister." He smiled at me,

"Ohh she's my daughter."

"Daughter? Really? You're far too enchanting to be a mother already." He chuckled sitting on the bed with me as he checked over Lillian, I did put a little space between us but I still wanted to be close to her. "Hang on... Miss? and Lillians your daughter?"

"Yes, doc- Jack."

"Alright, I don't wish to impose but her father is he-"

"six feet. I'd rather not talk about him."

"Okay. I'll do my best not to." He nodded, "How long has she had a fever?"

"A few days now, but the cough only started last night."

"I see, I don't imagine she's sleeping?"

"Not much No," I nodded, "I- I worried it could be whooping cough or tuberculosis, perhaps cholera or typhoid," I explained each word filled me with more panic my heart racing, my mind flooded with fear as I couldn't hold my panic anymore,

"Whoa. whoa. it's alright. It's alright." He cooed as he took my hand, "Shhhh shhh shhh, I'm here. I'm right here. Everything's okay." he said as he soothed me down from the edge of my panic, "It's alright, it's all alright. Lillian will be fine. it's just a cold." He reassured, "I can give her some medicine and she'll be right as rain giggling away in no time."

"Thank you, Jack,"

"You're very welcome, my best advice is to give her the meds before bed and get some sleep yourself." He said his hand resting on my shoulder but I flinched away, "sorry... forgive me I-"

"It's alright, sorry I uhh... I think we best be going,"

"Of course," he nodded handing Lillian back to me, "if you need anything I'm always here alright,"

"Thank you," I nodded, 

He got us the medicine and told me how to give it to her and he gave her one more cuddle before we left, "You get better now you hear me, don't want you causing your mummy any more trouble hey you little jumpy  squirrel," he told her which made her giggle, "And keep well yourself Y/n,"

"I will, thank you, Jack." I nodded, "How much do I?"

"You're welcome," He smiled, "No charge don't worry about it Y/n I know things can't be easy for a lady alone so don't worry over it."

"Thank you," I smiled, I left the room trying to hide my joy, such a sweet man but I did my best to force these ideas away.

I sat rather nervously but still, I needed to get it all looked at, as usual, we were sent to the same room and soon enough Jack arrived with a wide smile,

"Awww why hello, if it isn't my two favourite young ladies, she got another cough or some tummy troubles?" He asked as she cleaned his hands and came over, 

"No uhh, it's not Lillian today,"

"No? Oh... Everything alright Y/n." He said sitting beside me, 

"It's my head, these headaches last for days and they just don't seem to want to pass."

"Ohh you poor thing, alright let me have a look." He said moving to sit behind me on the bed, "May I?"

"You may," I nodded even if I was nervous the mere touch of his fingers was enough to make me jolt, 

"It's alright, just me." he reassured me in an almost pillow-talk tone, he stroked his callus fingers across my temple, then through my  hair, and he moved his hands to massage my scalp which admittedly made me lay my head back and almost moan it felt so nice and relaxing, "Ohh christ... you are tense." he muttered, "When you put Lillian to bed how long till you go yourself?"

"Immediately but I'm up a lot with her."

"I see" he said his hands moving down but the moment I felt his hand on my neck my skin boiled, my blood ran cold, my breath became sharp, my heart raced and I moved away as quickly as I could as tears began to flood my face, "whoa. it's alright. I wasn't going to hurt you. I'm sorry... I'm sorry Y/n I should have said something. Forgive me please."

"It's okay... you didn't mean to."

"It's alright, I should have asked first please forgive me."

"It's alright Jack."

"Okay," He nodded as he held my hands and helped me to calm down again, "I think I know what your headaches are,"

"Oh?"

"Tell me even without Lillian waking you do you sleep through the night?"

"No, very rarely," 

"I thought as much, You need to get some rest you're exhausted." 

"Well I have -"

"I know you're a very busy lady, but if you stay here you can get a good few hours of sleep."

"Here?"

"Of course, they're not the comfiest but you can get a good sleep here."

"But Lillian."

"I'll take her,"

"Yo-you'd really do that,"

"Of course," He nodded happily taking her and cuddling her in his arms, "You need to rest Y/n, you need some good sleep, I am perfectly happy to look after her till you get some rest."

"You don't have to do that,"

"No but I want to," he smiled, "You get some rest, she'll be perfectly fine and safe with me I promise,"

"Thank you, Jack,"

"You're welcome," He smiled kissing my hand, "sweet dreams Y/n," He said as he got up carrying Lillian on his hip, "Now you my little  squirrel are going to come have fun with me while your mummy gets a little nap. Yeah? that sound nice. a little fun afternoon with Doctor Jack?" He cooed, "Come on then you can be my little mascot," He told her as they headed out, 

I laughed but washed my face and hands getting into the bed and doing my best to avoid nightmares as I lay down and tried to get some sleep. 

I did get some decent sleep, and when I woke up my headache was all but gone, and as I sat up I saw a sweet sight Jack stood leaning against the table holding Lillian in his arms playing with her, I giggled to see them together. 

"Awww Hi Y/n," he cooed,

"Hi, was she okay?"

"She was an angel, absolutely perfect, such a sweet little  squirrel," he cooed, giving Lillian's head some kisses, "she was my little mascot today round the ward everyone said how cute and well-behaved she was, and she was even my little mascot for surgery weren't you?"

"she was?"

"Yeah she came and sat on my hip like I did the amputation she was good as gold, kept the guy really calm actually said he didn't want to yell cause he didn't want to upset her, I think more doctors should start carrying around babies,"

"That... doesn't seem sanitary." I laughed, 

"Good point, but we washed her little hands, didn't we? Between every patient we stopped and we washed out little hands," he smiled rubbing his hands in front of her and she quickly moved her hands to his like they were washing them, "Yeah there we go, wash wash little squirrel," 

"Aww that's sweet," I smiled "But babies like putting things in their mouth Jack,"

"Yeah, I noticed that she seems to really like sucking on my scalpel handle, 

"she might be hungry,"

"Ahh yes. Good point. I'll feed her if you're still tired."

"Thank you Jack but I'll get her home,"

"Of course, I'm glad you are feeling better. You know I'm more than happy to take her days you need a little rest, maybe even get one of the nurses to look after her and you and I could go out and have some more grown-up fun."

I blushed hard at such an idea, I did want to but my fears were far too intense, "Thank you but uhh I think I should stay with her,"

"Of course forgive me. Have a nice afternoon you two."

"Thank you, you have a nice day too Jack," I smiled, 

Once again I was back here and arrived at the hospital to see our usual doctor sitting on the bed as he wondered in, 

"Ahhh there's my favourite patient." He smiled as he saw Lillian happily taking her in his arms, "How is my little  squirrel? I have heard you had a little bonk?" he cooed, 

"She fell out her crib,"

"Ohh? Well, what do we expect? Little squirrel must have been trying to climb out and go on an adventure." He cooed, "Let's have a little look." He said looking over her, "Let's get you some bruise lotion," He smiled handing her back to me, "And I'm sure a kiss from your mummy will help too,"

"Aww I'm sure it would," I smiled,

"...Do you think... the doctor could get a kiss too?" 

I blushed hard but I couldn't help to give his cheek a little kiss, 

"Awww! See don't you want that Lillian, it certainly made me feel better." He winked, 

"I think she's just upset she doesn't like getting bruises," I said kissing her little head, 

"I know I don't either, but she'll be fine once she gets some bruise lotion on it, and as she's been such a frowny little squirrel, how about a caramel?"

"She doesn't like caramel,"

"Aww, me either. Alright, but I'm only doing this becuase you my little squirrel," He told her going into his pocket, "How about a little lemon sherbert Hu?" Immediately she went to reach for it, so he unwrapped it and snapped it smaller giving her the little pieces, "But don't think you're going to get this all the time, these are my privet little sweets."

"That's very sweet of you Jack,"

"Well, she's too sweet to say no. You both are Y/n," he smiled kissing my head, 

I stood in the alley doing my best to ground myself my body shaking and Tears streamed down my face, as I cried hysterically, my breath short and shaky, my throat choking and tight with every breath, my mouth dry and sickly, my heart raced to jump in and out my chest, my fingers and toes numb, my head dizzy almost to faint, my every limb shook and sweated, my stomach churned and turned like a hurricane, I couldn't even think, or even begin to know where to start to fix myself. 

"Ohh it's my little  squirrel and- Y/n?" Jack approached as he came down the alley himself of course her first spotted Lillian in her pram and then me, "Y/n what's the matter?" He asked as he came over, "It's okay, it's okay, You're not having chest pains are you?" 

I shook my head and he held my hands in his, he kept me close to him and walked me through my breaths wiping my tears and keeping me in a grip that made me feel so safe but not smothered, he gave me time and space and made sure everything was alright until my panic attack began to melt away to nothing but memory,

"Are you alright?"

"Yes... Sorry Jack forgive me I-"

"It's alright. You frightened me. I'm just happy you're okay. You get these a lot?"

"I do... a lot of... bad memories sometimes come back."

"What sort ofg bad memroies?"

".. Lillian's father. Forgive me-"

"No, no I'm here if you need me you know that. You and Lillian. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to." He said wrapping my arms around me to pull me into his chest, for a moment the metallic twang of blood hit my nose mixed with his sweet mahogany scent but I found it somewhat comforting, "I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere, I won't do anything to hurt you, or Lillian. you know that. I wouldn't dream of ever hurting my little  squirrel and her lovely mummy," 

"You mean it?"

"Of course I do," He said kissing my head, "Come on I'll take you both home."

"You don't need-"

"AH. I said I would. Doctors orders I'm taking you both home" He said as he pulled back and took her handle of Lillian's pram, "Hello you, you alright? Happy little squirrel now mummies feeling better? Good come on then Doctor Jack will read you a story," he told her, 

I nodded and led him back to my little apartment where I put Lillian down to bed, "Uhh have a seat, I guess," I said sitting on my bed,

"Is this really it?"

"Yep."

"You and Lillian? just in this little room."

"yes, we uhh her father use to live with us but of course he uhh..."

"Y/n... I don't want to push, you don't have to tell me but... where is Y/n's father?"

"...Dead."

"How'd be die?"

"He fell down drunk, down the stairwell and broke his neck."

"Ohh... Y/n, I'm so sorry."

"It's alright,"

"Did he drink a lot?"

"He did."

"Did he... No. Y/n... Did he... hurt you?"

I nodded frozen at the idea I was telling anyone, 

"Did he hurt Lillian too?"

I nodded, 

"...Is that why she wouldn't talk?"

"I think so. whenever she cried He would slap her. She learnt not to open her mouth. She cries again now but that's all."

"It happens in children, they learnt early on not to talk I'm so sorry Y/n, If I knew I'd-"

"It's alright, over now."

"Is it? or is he still lingering in your mind?"

"he still does I'm sorry Jack I-"

"Hey, Y/n listen to me." he said taking me in his arms, "I swear to you. I would never ever dream of hurting you. Or Lillian, I'm a doctor. All I want is for you both to be happy and healthy. I care about you, both of you." 

"I know you do,"

"Will you let me take care of you? both of you?"

"Just care for us?"

"I think you know I want more than just caring for you both." He smiled, "If you'd let me."

"...I'd like to let you,"

He smiled and rubbed his nose against mine as she stoked my cheek, "May I?"

"You may," I nodded,

He smiled and closed the gap letting our lips meet. 

I smiled sitting in the little hospital room with Lillian on my lap, as the door opened,

"Awww it's my lovely gorgeous stunning ravishing lady," Jack smiled as he saw me coming to kiss me, "And my little  squirrel too? I'm getting spoilt today." He smiled kissing Lillian's little head as he took her and gave her a bounce, "Not that I don't love to see you but why are you here? you were both alright when I left this morning, this couldn't wait till I get home,"

"No, I was coming into the hospital anyway,"

"Not to see me!" He pouted, 

"No to see, someone else."

"Who? What for? you're alright aren't you both?"

"She's fine."

"And you?"

"... I have some news, Jack."

"Wha- what is it?"

"We're gonna have a baby,"

"A- A baby! Y/n, you mean it!"

"I do midwife told me today, we're having a baby," 

He set Lillian on the floor to play and immediately took me in his arms giving me a million kisses, "Ummm I love you. I love you. I love you so so much. You are so beautiful, so perfect, you're gonna grow our sweet little baby!" He smiled 

"I love you too," I smiled, 

"We're gonna have a baby..."

"we are." 

"I couldn't be happier my darling," He smiled before he kissed me and went picking up Lillian, "You're gonna get a little brother, you excited little  squirrel,"

"I'm sure she is." I smiled,

"Now, you are going on a baby-friendly diet, you are going to relax, have nice hot baths, and I will be here to give you as many back rubs as you need." he smiled "No arguments."

"Yes Jack," I giggled,

"Perfect," He smiled, "And I'll look after Lillian so you're not overwhelmed, and even if you get so much as a whiff of a panic attack I will drip everything to take care of you, Y/n. I promise,"

"Thank you, Jack," 

I smiled as I headed to the hospital courtyard where I spotted Jack waiting for us, 

"Aww, there's my lovely ladies," He cooed, 

"Ahh little one has something to show you," I smiled, 

"Oh?"

"Go on then sweetie," I smiled putting her little feet on the grass,

"You're kidding?" He smiled excitedly as he watched her wonder over to him even if she almost fell a few times, but he scooped her up and soaked her with kisses, "Look at you! such a big girl! you're doing so good! My beautiful little squirrel," He cooed, "You are becoming just as beautiful as your mummy," He smiled, "Now you are walking there is nothing my little squirrel can't achieve! she'll be head surgeon by Sunday."

"I think she has a way to go with that yet Jack," I laughed, 

"I guess, but look at your mummy isn't she glowing? absolutely ravishing," He smiled giving me a little kiss I smiled and gave him a sweet kiss, "She's beautiful isn't she Lillian?" 

"I think she'd agree I am a boat." I laughed stroking my bump,

"Awww you're a very beautiful boat. a boat I shall happily steal and live my life on if I must." He smiled, "How is our littlest one?" He asked stroking my bump,

"Kicking away as usual."

"Alright, come on up to the office I'll give you a back rub, put Squirrel down for a little nap and give littlest one a cuddle and a kiss," He cooed, "Come on let's head upstairs," 

I smiled as I sat in the little bed tired but happy, as I held our little boy in my arms his little eyes were barely even open, Jack beside me playing with little Peter's fingers, Jack had just cleaned off his hands from helping me with the birth. "He's beautiful,"

"He is, he's so perfect."

"Are you okay Y/n?"

"I'm alright Jack," I smiled leaning on his shoulder, 

"Good, I was worried for a while there but you did amazing. My strong beautiful wife." 

"Thank you, You were strong too I don't imagine it was fun for you."

"Terrifying. Watching my own son come out of my wife. knowing if I do anything wrong I might seriously hurt both of you. Yeah not exactly a fun time for me." he laughs, "but it's all worth it, for this little guy," 

"It truly was," I smiled, "Shall we?"

"Shall we? I think we shall." He cooed giving my lips a kiss and little boy's head a kiss before he got up and went out for a moment so I gave our little boy some kisses until Jack returned with Lillian in his arms he brought her over in her little blue dress sitting her on his lap as he sat on the bed, "Lillian? Sweetie, My sweet little Squirrel, this is your little brother."

"You're little brother, Peter, he's very excited to meet you," I smiled letting her see him a little better, 

She came closer looking at him playing with his fingers curiously, "P-peter."

Immediately I got choked up to hear her sweet little voice, the first thing she'd ever said to us, 

"yes, that's your little brother little Peter." Jack smiled,

"Peter." she nodded before she gave Jack, I and Peter a little hug, "Love."

"Aww, we love you too Lillian,"

"We love you very much little squirrel, you, and your little brother we both do." Jack told her, "And I love mummy very much too," He smiled at me,

"I love Daddy very much too," I smiled giving Jack a sweet kiss, 

[thehusbandoden]

Panic Attack -Tamaki x Reader

Ahh finally got a Tamaki one out!! Man I don't pay my baby enough attention 🥺// I was going to wait to post until tomorrow, but I've been working on this all day -like 5-30 minutes of writing before doing something else- and just couldn't wait to give my baby some love.

After a hushed argument with Mirio people start gossiping about Tamaki, accusing him of things he's never done, and whispering horrible things around him. After having a panic attack, he makes it to his your dorm, where you comfort your distressed Tama. | 1,186 words | fluff/comfort

Warnings!: Mentions of gossiping, social anxiety, and a panic attack.

Tamaki is usually okay at school. As long as he didn't have to publicly speak, he left each room after the majority did, he had the availability to take a break, and most importantly, he had one of his best friends with him at all times. Even if it was just one, he honestly needed them to stay sane.

Today's been off. You got sick and so you had to stay home. And so Tamaki had to wait another ten minutes for Nejire to agree to take him to school. After they reached the door Nejire ran off to a meeting for the beauty pageant, leaving Tamaki alone in a semi-crowded hallway. Anxiety filled Tamaki as he kept his head down, walking on the sidelines, trying to find his locker and avoid interaction at all cost.

His breath got stuck in his throat as he felt a hand clasp his shoulder. He squeezed his eyes shut, trembling as he started growing smaller, sinking toward the floor.

"Tamaki! What's going on? Where's y/n?" A familiar warm voice hissed into his ear, causing him to calm down.

"Y-y/n's sick." Tamaki muttered, opening his eyes and partially straightening his posture.

"Okay?! What about Nejire!" Mirio countered, concerned for his friend. And even though he was just trying to help, the raised voice and whispers around Tamaki made him want to hurl, so he quickly turned to a locker, pressing his forehead against the cool metal.

"S-she had a meeting.."

"And she just left you!?"

"Mirio please..."

"Did she?"

"Yes! Obviously." Tamaki hissed, anxiety overwhelming his senses as he listened to the whispers about Mirio's persistence.

"Tamaki.. here I'll take you to class."

"No thanks." After a few more moments to collect himself Tamaki moved off of the locker and made his way to class, anxiety a lot worse then normal.

For the rest of the day Tamaki avoided Mirio, feeling hurt by his concerned nagging. It would've been alright if it was just them, but all those students were around and heard. And boy did word spread.

Students whispered to one another all day, gossiping about how Tamaki and Mirio were fighting, and how Tamaki lashed out. The story was shared countless times, and each time the story became a little more stretched, finally reaching a point where they were saying that Tamaki and Mirio were screaming at one another and that Tamaki was being a total jerk and that his entire personality was fake.

As the last bell of the day rang Tamaki swallowed hard, heart beating rapidly. As he waited for the students to shuffle back to their dorms he panicked as he realized that a lot of students were staying behind -watching him. As he felt their stares rake his body, panic set in, causing him to softly hyperventilate. Standing up, he shook as he started walking to the door, elvish ears picking up all of the students whispering.

"Look! That's the kid who tried to beat up Togata!"

"I heard that he's a pervert with a body count over 40. Stay away from him."

"I'mma beat that punk up for messing with Togata!"

"Hey.. isn't he that tentacle freak?"

"He's so pathetic looking! He'll never score a girl!"

"He's so.. ugly."

Tamaki's face flushed as his heart slammed against his chest, making it hard to breathe. The whispering made his head spin as tears pricked at his eyes.

Continuing to walk, he desperately tried to calm his breathing as he felt a massive panic attack evade his senses. It only worsened as people surrounded him, some giving him looks and whispering to each other.

The attention only made his panic attack worse, causing his hands to shake. Walking out to the entrance, he swiftly made his way to the dorms, not noticing Nejire calling after him.

"Darnit Amajiki what's your problem?" She called, pouting as she watched him go.

You grabbed another tissue, blowing your nose. After discarding it into the trash next to your bed, you continued to scribble at your homework, frowning as you erased your answer yet again.

In your deep concentration, you didn't notice your boyfriend's your door being opened and closed. Nor did you notice your boyfriend sinking to the floor, hugging his knees to his chest, tears finally falling down his face, limbs shaking.

After another half hour or so you finally noticed Tamaki as he crawled into his your bed, moving to be semi-close to you.

"Oh- when did you get here Baby?" You ask, smiling down at him as he moves his head to your shoulder.

"Just barely.."

You could tell by his voice and how he pitifully nuzzled his nose into your neck that something was off.

"Tama baby, what happened?" You coo, setting aside your work.

"Nothing.. just another day." His voice sounded heavy, and slightly cracked, something was definitely wrong.

"Love.. look at me." You whisper, gently grasping his face to hold in your hands, rubbing a thumb over his cheek.

You smiled sadly as he looked up at you, tears in his eyes and past stains marking his beautiful face. "Oh hunny what happened?" You ask softly, wiping away his tears.

"....."

"My love, it will be easier to let it out then hold it in. Trust me, I'm safe. It's just us. Just you, and me. Your y/n."

"Bunny am I ugly!? A-am I some freak because of my quirk!? D-d-d- Doyouactuallywanttobewithme!?" (Do you actually want to be with me) Tamaki sobbed, burying his head into your chest, clinging to you desperately.

"Baby! How- how could you think any of those horrid things!? You're not ugly, you're gorgeous, in no way are you a freak! If we're talking about your quirk, you have an amazing one! And of course I want to be with you! You're perfect for me! I couldn't never, and would never want to love anyone else but you! You, my adorable, shy, romantic, and gorgeous baby! What's got you thinking these things Bub?!"

Tamaki cried as he clung to you, still shaking. "I-it's a long story my love.."

"And I want to hear every bit of it."

You held him all night, and after a while he stopped sobbing and spent the rest of the night thanking and complimenting you, telling you how much he dearly loved you, and named every little thing he loved about you until he fell asleep, nuzzled into your arms. Tamaki ended up getting sick with you, so you spent days cozied in bed with one another, binging shows, telling stories, and simply just talking.

After you got better you had some harsh words with Mirio and Nejire, making them promise to apologize and he a lot more considerate. Afterwards, you had them help knock down the rumors and chew out anyone who whispered about Tamaki, and especially the ones who helped blow them out of porportion. They were quite willing to listen with three powerful year three students breathing down their necks.

When Tamaki got back into school he was surprised -and relieved- to find multiple apology notes stuffed into his locker, and many from Miro and Nejire in person.

Do not copy, repost, nor plagiarize my work. Ask before you translate or use my work in any way, minus reblogging.

Tamaki's masterlist | Main masterlist | Requesting Rules

Tips <3

[gentil-minou]

If you ever had Howl from the Howl's Moving Castle book in your office, what would you work on with him? (I feel like that boy could definitely use some therapy. XD)

i kept saving this ask for a treat for myself because oh man are you actually suggesting the world's greatest slither outer would willingly step into my office??? no absolutely not sophie either bribed him or tricked him by saying they were going shopping or to an animal shelter or maybe all of those.

anyways first like two months of session will be me trying to get him to talk about his feelings and not just his favorite frogs or his collection of pretty stones or making up insane claims to divert my attention with things like "i see dead people" or "you know i really think some days im a beetle what do you think that makes me crazy as balls right????" and just the most excruciating avoidance tactics that put my teen clients to shame.

at some point we'll probably be doing something like painting and just chatting and i will be talking about some funny thing my siblings did or some random story to fill the air and he'll slip something about how his sister hates him and hahah he was such a fucked up kid his dead parents are probably so disappointed in him ahahahahahha.

and then i get to sink my therapeutic claws into his newly returned soft heart and we get to talk about his challenges growing up with undiagnosed ASD/ADHD and how his anxiety/fear of failure and not becoming anything became insurmountable the further he got into college until he literally escaped the world as the most successful avoidance tactic there is and we would do a lot of work on his fear of rejection and anxiety as well as communicating his feelings openly with his sister and wife and loved ones while diving into some deep seated self-hatred and probably still share cool frog pictures and pretty rocks and it would be great

[seafoamchild]

i had another panic attack yesterday in the car on the way to the cacao farm. i'm not totally sure why. i just got super hot and starting sweating uncontrollably, felt tingling in my limbs, my whole body was clammy, and i thought i was going to be sick. i had to close my eyes even though we were driving through beautiful countryside and i wanted to see the landscape. i just kept telling myself that i'm in an adult body now and i don't have to be scared, i am safe.

examining my own psyche and confronting my past traumas has been a lonely experience. i feel isolated as i uncover the effects trauma has had on me. i know my pain is not unique, but it's a painful process to face things that have caused me so much anguish. i did not get to feel safe in my home while growing up. i had a volatile father prone to unpredictable and uncontrollable fits of rage, a mother who never stood up to him and made it our responsibility to "keep him happy", and a brother who was physically and psychologically abusive to me. i spent YEARS in hyper-vigilant fight-or-flight mode whenever i was around my family. i knew there was something wrong, but i always thought there was something wrong with ME, not my family.

i've been reading a lot about Complex PTSD and emotional flashbacks. it makes a lot more sense for what i've been experiencing. my mood swings always felt like something deeper than just depression or anxiety, but i could never quite figure out why i felt so bad, and why i felt so bad about my own existence in particular.

this article by Pete Walker resonated deeply with me. he writes about emotional flashbacks being "sudden and often prolonged regressions to the frightening and abandoned feeling-states of childhood... Typically they manifest as intense and confusing episodes of fear, toxic shame, and/or despair".

he also writes "toxic shame obliterates an individual's self-esteem with an overpowering sense that she is as worthless, stupid, contemptible or fatally flawed, as she was viewed by her original caregivers. Toxic shame inhibits the individual from seeking comfort and support, and in a reenactment of the childhood abandonment she is flashing back to, isolates her in an overwhelming and humiliating sense of defectiveness... When stuck in this state, they often polarize affectively into intense self-hate and self disgust, and cognitively into extreme and virulent self-criticism".

"Ongoing experience convinces me that some children respond to pervasive emotional neglect and abandonment by over-identifying or even merging their identity with the inner critic and adopting an intense form of perfectionism that triggers them into painful abandonment flashbacks every time they are less than perfect or perfectly pleasing".

i never knew about emotional flashbacks until recently, and i feel a sense of relief reading about them because that is precisely what i feel has been going on for all these years. i do ONE THING wrong and all of a sudden i can feel my heart sinking because i have once again proven myself to be a worthless, pointless waste of life who can't do anything right and doesn't deserve respect from anyone, much less love. i deserve to be hated, ridiculed, and abandoned. that's what my inner critic tells me.

it's a message from my inner child, letting me know that my wounds still haven't healed. i numbed my emotions as a child, and did not understand what was going on. but the emotions are still there, swelling up within me, begging to be addressed. what i really needed was for someone to tell me my emotions were valid, i was good enough just the way i was, that my needs were important too.

this process makes me tired because i just want to shut it all out and keep distracting myself with busyness and substances, but i won't. i wrote this down, for starters!

[fanatichistory]

Mushroom Story Part 7

I'm so sorry I forgot about my mushroom story!!!! Holy poop!!!!!

Part 1  Part 2    Part  3   Part 4   Part 5   Part 6

Tristan kept pace with the car that sped down the highway, hidden in the clouds from prying eyes. 

The chatter from the Council reported three more missing forest creatures with connections to the light of creation and one light fae who also held a connection but was just visiting with a friend and happened to get caught up in the chaos currently raging in the South Kingdom.

The Eastern Kingdom, and their Guardian, were currently at the Council Hall with the other Kings and Council members as they tried to track the chaos going on with the rogue Temple priests and priestesses. 

Tristan kept track of it all as a silent observer, not wanting to draw too much attention to himself while at the same time knowing that Zaviar and company were currently up to something at the home office and utilizing the current chaos as Tristan was in keeping his mind blank while following orders to follow the woman creature of light and keep her safe as ordered.

As they entered the city it became harder to keep track of Zaviar's car as Tristan had to climb higher in the sky, above the clouds and past the skyscrapers and out of the traffic lanes of planes to remain unseen until they finally came upon one the city's skyscrapers with a helicopter pad that allowed Tristan to land atop it.

Having the others out of sight on the city streets below unnerved him greatly. Especially with the current circumstances being what they are...

On the streets below, Devana looked out the window of the car's backseat wide eyed as the building they had pulled up to towered tall above them. So tall, that she couldn't see the top or the blinking red lights warning aircraft of its height. 

Her jaw fell open at the black metal and dark tinted windows as she wondered how he had gotten his hands on so much of the materials, let alone afford it all seeing how tall the skyscraper was when she finally remembered that he was King of the ooga boogas after all.

"It also has a helipad at the top, for those of us who fly and need the privacy in the middle of the city. But it's also used for private and business use too, so those times are scheduled with the Flight Master who lives in the apartment on the floor just below who tracks and coordinates it all. No human use allowed though, even for work, just us 'ooga boogas'."  Zaviar explained with a wide grin as he opened the door for her and helped her out onto the sidewalk.

"How do you know about my nickname for you guys? Did Aaron tattle?" She whipped a pointed a look at the friend in question and pinned him in place as he gave a nervous chuckle and held his hands up in surrender.

"He means well as always." Zaviar laughed, though anxiety was still settled in his eyes despite his rather well crafted poker face. Devana couldn't help but notice that no matter how schooled his features, how charismatic his voice, his eyes revealed his true feelings to her.

The eyes truly were windows. At least, for Zaviar in any case. 

Aaron, however, wore his heart on his sleeve so there was no need to decode his thoughts from his eyes. For a second Devana wondered what it would be like for Tristan and if they could be friends too like her, Aaron, and now the growing connection between her and Zaviar.

Though she secretly hoped for more between her and Zaviar...

"Devana, hurry up!" Aaron called as he held the door to the building. Zaviar had already disappeared inside as the hustle of the pedestrians briskly walked by as they went on their way.  

Hurrying inside with him to catch up with Zaviar and perform the ritual Mooshy gave her a crash course in on the ride over, the sun continuing to sink lower as everyone inside made the mad dash to clock out and hurry home for dinner. 

Though to be honest, the dark tint of the windows made it seem a little later than it was. 

But, thanks to the lighting being a bright amber, it was as if day in certain places inside while remaining dark twilight in others as Aaron lead her through the maze of offices to the elevator where Zaviar awaited them.

"Finally." His foot was tapping, the only indication to them that he was growing impatient.

"Sorry we're not super fast." Aaron teased lightly while they both panted from the brisk walk while trying to not draw attention, pointing out the fact that they were both human and simply went as fast as humanly possible through the office to catch up with him. 

Zaviar's eye's softened a touch at the reminder, the foot tapping ceased, but his face otherwise remained the same.

The elevator dinged and opened it's doors, allowing them to pile inside as Zaviar pressed the button for his office home floor where they would be performing the ritual.  

Tristan greeted them as they entered Zaviar's office. His features were tense and his arms were crossed but he seemed to relax just a touch when Devana entered.

"Good. You're still in one piece. The Council was worried."

"Why is that?" Zaviar questioned lightly though he cut his eyes suspiciously at Tristan from behind where he stood while Tristan was preoccupied in watching Devana take in the office space and décor.

"More people are disappearing. They've ordered those with connections to light or creation magick to head for them for their protection. It's confirmed now that the rogue priests and priestesses from the Temple are working some kind of shadow magick that feeds off of the light they drain from their victims." 

Everyone was still and silent as he continued to inform them of the information the Council and other Guardians had telepathically shared with him on his flight over.

"The reasons why they are being drained of light and for what purpose are still unknown. Striker, Guardian of the East, is injured and currently being healed at Council Hall with the other refugee's that he arrived with. That's how dangerous the rogues' shadow magic is. Strong enough to take on a Guardian."

Tristan let that sink in as his sobering gaze met Zaviar's. 

"These rogue's know exactly what they are up against because they were once our friends and allies. Someone's brother or sister or what have you. They know us, but we apparently don't know them. According to Striker, they are strong with shadow magick. The shadows protect them."

Devana stepped forward then from Aaron's side.

"What do you mean by 'the shadows protect them'? I know we're pressed for time to he-help Zaviar-er- get his thingy and finish up here before we head out...." Good catch Dev, he's still connected to the Council. Don't blow it girl. "But I'm just trying to understand the information you were told on your way over here. It's all happening so fast."

Zaviar gave her a small, sad smile and she almost broke character to assure him that she was, in fact, actually fine. 

Aaron on the other hand, scratched his chin to hide a smirk as he got the hint. Knowing exactly what his friend was up to and managing to pull off covering her butt so well after nearly blowing it that even Zaviar didn't catch her.

"Whenever anyone would use magick to defend themselves, not just Striker but anyone versed in defensive magick, the shadows would leap forth and shield the rogues from being hit by the spells or falling debris. Not a single one of them has fallen."

They are children of the Shadow. The Shadow protects their children.

'Really?'

You are a child of my light are you not? Do I not protect you?

'What about the others? Aren't they children of light or whatever?'

There is more than one version of light just as there is more than one version of shadow. I merely embody one version of light but not the other. You are my only living child.

'What does that mean?'

A lesson for another day child. This is war and time is a luxury.

"Dev?" 

Devana blinked back into focus and looked around the room at the faces of her friends.

"Sorry guys. Conversation with Mooshy. I got distracted for a second."

"Care to enlighten us?" Aaron asked hopefully, curiosity sparkling in his eyes. He was always ready to take mental notes about her and the connection with said sentient magick mushroom she named Mooshy, who apparently might be some form of God? 

She wasn't sure honestly, given the recent events and how fast everything really has been going down since she nearly died that day when she ate said sentient magic mushroom. 

"Not particularly." She answered with a grin and a singsong voice to try and keep things light. Devana turned her attention in full back to Tristan and stepped up to him as he looked back at her. His feathers twitched nervously behind him at his back, not used to being close around people who weren't Zaviar or fellow soldiers.

"I need you to take a seat." 

He raised a brow at her, arms still crossed over his chest.  Zaviar, bless him, took the hint then and started rummaging around the office to keep the cover story intact so the Council would back out of Tristan's mind and loosen it's hold over him.

Aaron remained by the office window and played with a few remote viewing spells on his crystal ball that's size was no bigger than a ping pong ball, perfect for travel, though Devana was unsure how he kept it from breaking while on the go and made a mental note to ask him later.

After another minute or so Tristan finally sat in the ornate office chair in front of the desk. The Council apparently satisfied with the story and Devana wondered how often Zaviar forgot things, or if this story was used before on Tristan and the Council.

Devana stepped up behind him then and, as mentally rehearsed in the car ride over and putting her faith in Mooshy to pull through for her, she placed her hands on either side of his temples and proceeded to connect their minds.

The blinding blue-white light that was Mooshy flashed across her eyelids and she was pretty sure she was doing her now signature glow thing again.

Seeing the ritual finally taking place, Zaviar stopped pretending to look around the office and stood behind his desk, letting him watch the two in front of him.

Devana was glowing bright fluorescent blue as she stood behind where Tristan sat awkwardly in the plush office chair, his wings tucked to fit as best he could but still looked rather uncomfortable.

Her hands on either side of Tristan's temple glowed the brightest but what was unnerving were Tristan's eyes. They had taken on that same glow of hers while she was telepathically connected to him. 

Even Aaron was watching everything transpire with curiosity and a bit of nervousness from his spot by the window, pausing from his crystal ball to watch it all unfold. Zaviar had half a mind to redirect him to the task of keeping an eye out for enemies through his magic but then again the Tower had safety protocols for such things so he let his friend be.

Tristan made little gasps here and there, a few murmurs, but otherwise didn't seem to be in pain. More like he was conversing... was it Devana or this Mooshy though?

The glow began to dissipate in his eyes then, traveling back through her arms and dimming to it's natural fluorescence that always seemed to keep beneath her dark skin.  

"Mooshy says it's done and...well, how do I put this..." Devana bit her lip as Tristan held his face in his hands and gathered himself. That alone put Aaron and Zaviar on edge.

"I'm like Devana now." He blurted out.

"What?!" Aaron dropped his crystal ball in shock as Zaviar's brows reached his hairline. 

"Explain what this means please." He asked as calmly as he could as he crossed both his arms across his chest.

"Well, Mooshy was severing the connection and everything as agreed..." Devana started, nervously biting her lip as she looked across to him.

"The Council was rebelling the idea and trying to stop it. As I thought they would." He added, bringing his head up and leaning back in the chair. The back of the chair pinched the shoulder blades of his wings and bunched his feathers painfully at an angle but he didn't care at the moment.

It was a mild discomfort.

"Then Mooshy had an idea...with it being war and all against the shadow thingy..." Zaviar's eyes glanced up at her then from across the desk that separated them but that didn't spare her from the anger that ticked and flamed behind them.

"What. War."

"Don't be mad at her, I agreed Zaviar. I made the deal with the mushroom God to become a child of theirs. In return, I am still connected to the Council but I no longer have to answer to them. This way I can still gather information and communicate with the other Guardians going forward."

"So Mooshy really is a God..." She murmured taking a step back from where she stood from behind the chair.

"There are many types of deities and spirits with varying degrees of power. I wonder who Mooshy was before you named them...before you and Aaron found them in the forest." Tristan trailed off in thought.

"On that note of subject matter, why were you looking for a god mushroom in the first place?" Zaviar rounded on Aaron who was still shell-shocked but otherwise observing the conversation before turning to him.

"I had no idea, honest. The mushroom Devana ate looked like the one we set out to find for the invisibility potion I wanted to brew but the mushroom I wanted wasn't exactly the glowing type."

"Meaning?"

Aaron sighed in frustration as Devana bit her lip while she caught the implication that her friend was getting at that Zaviar was pointedly avoiding.

"The glowing mushroom must have glamored itself to look like the one we were searching for in the hopes that either Devana or I would be curious enough to eat it. Then, when the vampire assassin attacked, ‘Mooshy’ must have saw it's chance to reach out and offer healing...Devana just happened to be closest within reach..." 

Tristan nodded at the theory, sensing as much from the sentient being within him. 

"Mooshy needed a host...a human is certainly better than a mushroom in a forest." He added despite Zaviar's cutting glare before passing a worried glance in her direction.

Devana felt her chest tighten as anxiety began to take hold. What did this mean? What about her homestead? Her animals? What was going to happen to her?

Fret not, child of mine. You are under my protection after all. I will do my utmost to protect you and yours.

'And what they're saying? Did you really put yourself there to use me? To make me a host person thingy?'

Of course.

Mooshy answered so honestly simple that it took her aback and freaked her out more. Did this make her a tool then? Mooshy said earlier that this was war...

No child, I was not aware of the Shadow's movements or plans for your friends and their people. That is why I offered to make Tristan my child as well. He will serve me well as my soldier in the coming battles.

'You would really ask that of him?'

He offered. He is a warrior through and through sweet child. He is simply answering the call to protect his people. I am honored to call him son.

'What of me? What do you expect of me?'

My sweet daughter, I expect you to be as you are. You are compassionate, loyal and true. You're connection to animals and the forest will only strengthen now that I have awakened you. Be as you are and you will find you're way, child of mine. I cannot exist in this physical world without a host and while this arrangement was necessary for me, know that I waited in the forest for you.

'Not Aaron? After all the trouble he went to find you?'

His light burns a different color. In the best possible way, he is no child of mine. But he is good and true of heart, keep him close in the times to come.

'His light is a different color?...what do you mean...there are other sentient beings of light like you out there? And they glow different colors?'

Devana could practically feel the Mushroom spirit sigh in resignation as it gave in and took the time to give her the lesson now instead of later as it had intended.

Yes. There are different sentient beings of light and each embody what they represent. I am the forest at night. The wonder of the wood. The fluorescence symbolizing the light and life of the creatures that roam at night. I am more than the mushroom you found me in. My blue glow unlocks the truth often hidden in the night, obscured by fog or the cloud in the skies. Those who traverse my woods can expect to find the truth about themselves...whether they want to or not. 

As a being of the wood, the forest at night, I protect all it's creatures who live within dear child. Including you and your farm animals. And as a being of the light of truth, it is why my color is the blue glow you have come to know me as.

'But what do you mean by people having different colors?'

I suppose you humans call it an Aura. Yours and Tristan's is simply compatible with my energy and my truth. Now, there will be time to learn more of the my forest truths later. The Shadow's army mobilizes and seeks children of light no matter whose they may be. It's hunger is insatiable and as I have been without a sentient speaking host until you, I haven't been able to speak to the others.

'You all don't talk on the other side?'

No. I am the light and truth of the wood at night. They are varying versions of the light of day so none have come to wander in my forest to converse.

'How rude.'

Mooshy pulsated with what seemed close to laughter at that as Devana came back to awareness in the office. 

Zaviar still seemed upset with the topic of war looming while Tristan was talking with him about it. Apparently Mooshy was talking to him as well at the same time as her, which was weird to her but hey magic sentient forest deity mushroom right? 

Zaviar and Aaron had been following along and catching up with the danger of the Shadow that Mooshy mentioned and that the rogue Temple priests and priestesses were being protected because they were it's children. That the creatures of the forest and of the light were being taken and killed because it's hunger was insatiable.

"The Council has ordered no contact, automatic retreat on sight if and when one comes across a rogue. Everyone is to make their way to the Council Hall immediately and all available Guardians are to spread the word and see people to safety. It's likely, they say anyway, that once there are no more forest dryads, fae or sprites to feed off of the Shadow will move on to witches and Merfolk next."

"Assuming they can catch the Mer." Aaron muttered in disgust at the thought of the Shadow consuming everyone.

"There are a clan or two in the lakes and rivers inland here, for a start, before they make their way to the ocean waters." Tristan reminded.

Zaviar pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned. "This really is war. This is going downhill so fast." He glanced up when he noticed her watching them and following along with the conversation.

"Welcome back. You were gone a long time."

"Sorry about that. I was panicking about some stuff and needed some answers about the whole...host thing..." Devana answered as guilt washed over her.

Mooshy did say that now wasn't the time, and she pressed anyway for her answers. How selfish...

"I'm sorry Devana. I was insensitive earlier when I said that. I was thinking out loud but I said it without thinking about how it would make you feel." Tristan placed a hand on her shoulder as if to offer her comfort but it came out as a sort of awkward patting of the shoulder instead as if he was unsure if she would welcome it from him or not.

"No don't be, it's fine. I've been wondering myself I just didn't have the balls to ask until now." 

"So what did Mooshy say? Do we get to know too?" Aaron asked her excitedly curious and needing the distraction. The shards of the crystal ball he dropped by the window earlier were cleaned up and in the trash bin by the desk so he didn't really have much to do to help.

By the equally curious look shared on Zaviar's face, Devana smiled and gave a quick summary of the conversation with Tristan helping to fill in some analogies to help them understand. 

Then they both had to explain that Mooshy can talk to them both at the same time, and because of his experience with the Council's telepathic bond forced on him and the other Guardians, he was able to follow along easily with her conversation with Mooshy while maintaining his own conversations.

Which to be honest, she was a little jealous of because now she wanted to know what he and Mooshy talked about. Devana made a mental note to ask him later and get some telepathy tips to boot. Apparently, there might be a telepathic connection between them now?

"Yeah, weird right?" Tristan chuckled darkly out loud to her, catching her thought. Also as unsure how to feel about it given the situation with the Council abusing their telepathic bond with the Guardians as she was. Though it was more personal and home hitting for him.

And that was when the light bulb clicked on.

"Holy shit!"

All three men jumped and turned to her as she stood up out of her chair.

"Someone on the Council is a host of a sentient being of some kind like I am to Mooshy and that's how they were able to form that bond thingy! The Guardians are their children!"

"I don't follow." Aaron said and his eyes bounced between everyone as he tried to keep up.

"I told Devana how they made Guardians bonded to the Council. How a member of the Council oversees the proceedings of the blood ritual and that was how she got the idea with Mooshy to do this ritual to free Tristan." Zaviar explained to the two.

"To be honest, Mooshy wasn't upfront on making Tristan a child of theirs. They only said they'd break the bond and that by doing so it would piss off the Council and to be ready for that." Devana bit her lip and shifted back and forth.

Zaviar nodded when she confirmed what they had quickly talked about back in her cabin at the spur of the moment when forming the plan to save Tristan.

"That's true. That was the war I was prepared for..."

"Zaviar...You were going to go to war with the Council? Over me?"

"Of course, you're my friend and ally. Family." Zaviar met his gaze and he could tell Tristan was having a hard time processing. Strategically, he knew Tristan wanted to say that he was an idiot and how dare he. He was King and therefore had a Kingdom to run.

But as he cleared his throat and shifted to his other foot, he nodded and quietly said "Thank you." 

"So...asshole on the Council aside for another day, unfortunately to be continued, where do we start with the Shadow that’s coming for us?" Aaron asked as his question brought everyone back to task.

[brianwashere]

Listen... I got done watching Euphoria and all I'm thinking about it if Matt had a kid addicted to something because of untreated anxiety, depression, ect (and managed to hide it). The night they'd overdose, and all Matt would hear is his kid's heartbeat going faster (Normal), and

Then.

It.

Starts.

To.

Slow.

To.

A.

Stop.

Hello, I’ve crawled out of the void to deliver angst. This is my first time writing angst so uh—please give me pointers

This one contains dark themes. I kept the actual OD part vague bcc I’m not risking giving pointers on how to OD. If you’re looking for anything like that please seek help.

All in all this was a really great req and I enjoyed writing it. Stay chill, Stardogs!

Read good ending here

**I do not own any characters or part of the franchise from Daredevil**

Pairing: Matt Murdock x son reader

Genre: angst; family

Summary: look at req

Tw: teen death; unintentional overdosing; untreated mental illness;

A Beating Heart; a Fleeting Breath

It had gotten bad.

Really. Really. Bad.

Your dad never seemed to notice the underlying problem. Only that you were out late and that your grades had slipped.

Dad was “working overtime” again. He never told you what he was actually doing, but it was clear he was doing something else with his time.

So here you were again. Standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom, hunched over the sink. You glanced at the cup of cheap whiskey you’d been sipping on for most of the night. Sighing, you fished the bottle of benzos out of your pocket and fumbled with the cap.

You shook out several onto your palm and set the bottle onto the kitchen sink. You thumbed the pills around on your hand. With another sigh you raised your head into your mouth and tossed your head back.

You grabbed the cup and downed the last of it.

“Dear God.” You mumbled to yourself as you put the cap back on and wiped your face.

You sluggishly made your way to the couch and collapsed on top of it.

‘Fuck, I’m tired.’ You thought as you tried to get comfortable.

You took a deep breath. Well, you tried to. Suddenly you became aware of how heavy every part of your body felt. With as much strength as you could muster you flopped onto your back. You felt like a fish out of water, desperately trying to get air to your lungs.

Tears filled your eyes with the realization you couldn’t breathe. You tried to move your arms, move your legs, do something. You couldn’t.

You felt your eyelids grow heavy and as you went to take your last breath you had one last thought.

‘I never got to say bye to dad.’

 ⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Matt never considered himself a very emotional man. Sure, some things certainly affected him; Foggy, Frank, his son.

He smiled to himself at the thought of his son. He was his pride and enjoy. He may be going through a rough patch but Matt new his son would make it through.

‘Murdock’s can take a beating.’ His father’s words echoed through his head.

‘Wonder what he’s up to tonight.’ Matt thought to himself.

He focused his listening to try and find his son’s heartbeat. His smile faded slightly as he heard the elevated heartbeat of his son.

Badum Badum Badum Badum Badum Badum Badum Badum—

‘He probably just went on a run or something.’ His mind supplied.

He listened closer. His son’s heartbeat was settling down.

Ba dum..Ba dum..Ba dum..Ba dum

Matt let out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding in. Something didn’t feel right; his heart kept slowing down.

Ba..dum…Ba..dum…Ba..dum…Ba..dum…

Matt blinked desperately trying to strain his ears. His heart kept slowing.

‘No. No no no no no no no. NO.”

Matt leaped up from his seat and ran out of the door of his office.

Ba…dum…..Ba…dum…..Ba…dum…..

Matt hadn’t realized he was crying until his tears hit his lips.

‘No, please God. Please.’

His shoes slapped the concrete as he sped up the pace. He climbed a wall to get to the roof; he needed to get there faster.

…ba….dum…….ba….dum…….ba….dum…….

‘Fuck. Please please please. Hold on a little longer.’

He jumped from roof to roof, desperate to reach you.

…ba…..dum……………………….

Matt stopped so suddenly he nearly toppled over. He gasped and clutched his chest, he willed himself forward.

‘There’s still hope. He’s not gone. Not yet.’

He jumped to the window of his apartment and opened it while holding onto the ledge. In desperation, Matt broke the window to get in and stumbled over to kneel by you on the couch.

His hands raced over your chest, resting on your face as he shook you.

“Wake up, Kid! Wake the hell up!” He pleaded.

He moved his hands to your chest and began doing CPR.

“No no no, please please-” his voice broke and he let out a sob “please fight! Fight it, kid! PLEASE!”

But deep down he knew, you weren’t coming back.

[alohajun]

♡ ANXIETY AND RELIEF — PARK JIHOON

jihoon x fem!reader | wc : 0.8k words | content : possible grammar and spelling mistakes, lowercase intended, all of us are dead au, mentions of zombies, angsty-fluff, reader has panic attack, best friends au | loki's lines : i have fallen into the all of us are dead abyss expect more of this au too ig

anxiety is a normal emotion that leads to excessive nervousness, fear, and worry. as much as it is normal to feel anxious, if the brakes on your anxiety train fail, you must seek a pillar to anchor yourself to. but that wasn’t possible for you right now, for your pillar was yet to return.

you sat in the classroom's corner, detaching yourself from your classmates as you looked at the windows, waiting for your best friend. the other kids looked at you, wanting to comfort you as they knew about your state, but with the way you kept distancing yourself, it was impossible.

“y/n …” cheongsan walked over with onjo, worry for you growing with each passing second. “jihoon will make it. i’m sure of it. he’s the fastest out of all of us.” he knew how you felt more than anyone in the room, having the same worry whenever onjo was out of his sight.

“gwinam was fast too,” you muttered, your anxious mindset only showing you the negatives. “but the zombies got him too, didn’t they?” this was the most you had spoken since suhyeok and jihoon had left, and it only showed the little hope you had left.

“we’ve been running from the zombies all this time, y/n.” wujin gave you an encouraging smile. “we got away every single time. jihoon too, right? this time will be no different.”

you appreciated your classmates’ attempts to calm you. you were grateful — you really were. but fear kept creeping into your head, and without jihoon to be your pillar, you knew you had to do something yourself.

without a clock, no one knew how long it was. but all you knew was that it certainly had been too long since the two males had left — and hearing absolutely no ruckus outside didn’t ease your mind, either.

namra sighed, standing near the windows as she looked at you. “you freaking out will not help them come back faster. jihoon might be your best friend, but you aren’t the only one who's going through a hard time. there are many classmates we’ve lost too,” she uttered, speaking the truth with no sugarcoating.

“i know, i’m sorry.” you apologised, looking down as you hugged your knees. “but jihoon isn’t just my best friend. he is the only one i have in this world, so he’ll always be important to me.”

onjo crouched near you, holding your hand. “you don’t have to be sorry. we know–” everyone turned towards the window, seeing a familiar pair of long legs dangle down the makeshift rope they had tied. “suhyeok! suhyeok-ah!” the boys ran towards the ledge, pulling the male along with the backpack he had on.

the strongest males of the group had gone to find rations before they moved to the rooftop, wanting to make sure they had enough to survive on for a few days since it wasn’t certain how long it’d be until help arrived.

“where is jihoon?” cheongsan questioned the missing male’s presence before you could, looking out the window, wondering if he was following behind. “suhyeok-ah? where is he?” his attention turned back to the tallest, feeling his heart drop at his expressions.

“a shelf crashed just as we were about to leave, and the zombies came in–” he tried explaining, his eyes never leaving yours, wordlessly conveying an apology he couldn’t put into words. “–he told me he’ll follow, and i waited for him in the office but he …” suhyeok trailed off, stepping forward in an attempt to comfort you.

“j-jihoon … d-didn’t?” you couldn’t bring yourself to complete the sentence, struggling to stand as your knees felt weak. “jih-hoon.” you covered your mouth with your hands, falling to the floor as you muffled your cries; the reality of his words sinking in.

feeling your chest constricting, you took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down to no avail. your brain shut down, and you forgot the simplest act of breathing, gasping for air while wiping away the tears that blurred your vision.

“y/n? y/n!” you couldn’t comprehend what was happening around, just knowing your friends were probably trying to help you deal with your panic attack. “y/n, hey–” the rest of their words were drowned by the sound of your heart racing, fear engulfing you.

just as you wanted to give into the darkness, a pair of arms wrapped around your shoulders, pulling you into a familiar embrace. jihoon? you forced yourself to look, your glossy eyes meeting jihoon’s crescent-shaped ones.

“jihoon!” you cried out, happy tears falling down your face as you clung onto him, feeling relieved. “you are here! you are okay!”

“yes, i am okay, love. i’m completely alright.” he smiled as he pulled away to look at your face. “you didn’t really think i’d leave you alone with all these zombies running around, yeah?”

relief was a feeling of reassurance and relaxation following the release of anxiety. feeling relieved was feeling free — just being back to the person you usually are. you were in the arms of your pillar, and nothing else felt more relieving than knowing he was back by your side.

taglist — @kflixnet @ravenori @jensrose @hotgirlsunoo @nanasdream @twntycm @roseky21 @heejojo @jaesvelvet @fightmegirl @koishua @silent-potato @lovethyfandoms2 @kpoprhia @woooooooosh8 @milkybonya @enhacolor @yunho-leeknow @yoshiikore @f4ery @candililac @willdieforbeidou @luvbrie @jun-bug @mui890mew @yogurteume @one16core (to be added, please fill this taglist form!)

TREASURE MASTERLIST

© 2022 ALOHAJUN | PLEASE REFRAIN FROM COPYING OR REPOSTING MY WORK WITHIN OR OUTSIDE THIS SITE

[lazysimp]

Normal Again /// Bakugou x Fem Reader (18+)

✧Click HERE to read Male version ✧

Rating: Explicit

Summary: A sequel to fine. You never expected recovery to be easy but you never thought it would be nearly impossible. In the weeks since your torture things between you and Bakugou had only grown more strained. Will you be able to save your relationship or is it a lost cause? 

Word count: 8.7k 

Warnings/tags: TW: Self hatred/violence, degradation (not in a sexy way), Angst, Explicit sexual content, Oral sex (giving and receiving), Anal play, She/Her pronouns, All characters are adults, SMUT 18+ Only

masterlist┃AO3

A vicious laugh filled the air as Bakugou’s boot connected with your cheek sending your body flying towards the ground. His deep red eyes were full of glee watching you spit out blood from your busted cheek. He crouched down, looking at you as if you were filth. 

“Look at you,” he sneered. “Just lying there taking it all. You are pathetic, honesty how did I ever see you as more than an easy fuck.” 

“Stop it Bakugou,” you beg weakly. You could not bring yourself to understand how such cruel words could come from the same mouth that used to worship you. 

His boot connects to your head once more sending blinding pain shooting through your skull. “Did you really think you were going to be with me forever? That I would tie myself to someone who can’t even stop themselves from getting kidnapped by a B-ranked villain.” 

His boot rests on your face, its thick rubber sole indenting its print into your cheek. “The only reason I kept you around this whole time was that you spread your legs whenever I wanted. You are easy, too easy and the whole office knows it. They all laugh at you, at how much of a whore you are.” 

Tears begin to leak from your eyes as he brought to light all your insecurities. You would rather he kept beating you than continue to torture you with his taunts. After every night of the same torture you had grown numb to the physical pain but no matter how hard you tried you could not escape his words. 

“If it wasn’t for you I would have already climbed my way to the top. All you can do is hold me back from my dreams with your constant failures. You make me despise you.” 

His heel digs into your temple creating an agonizing inescapable pressure. You were helpless to stop his merciless assault and you were not sure you even wanted to. All you really wanted was for all of this to stop. The constant pain and guilt had worn down your spirit, it was as though you had nothing left to even lose. 

“Look at you just lying there taking it. Why don’t you fight me you pathetic bitch? Why don’t you ever fight?” He screamed, emphasizing each with a blow to your head. You reach up to cover your ears not wanting to hear anything else but your arms were trapped down at your side, held by some invisible force. 

You try again to lift move your arms and then your legs but a warm tight hold tightened even further. Needing to escape the suffocating warmth you thrash around, lashing out at the invisible force. 

“Shh, baby it is ok,” Bakugou said above you his boot still on your head. “This is all just a dream.” 

You slam your eyes closed needing to escape the glaring red eyes that only brought you pain. 

“Mimic is dead and will never hurt you again I promise,” Bakugou’s voice grows closer to your ear. This was your chance! You manage to free one arm and reach up, blindly scratching at any body part you could reach. 

Your nails scream for mercy as you drag them viciously down his arm, their gliding made easy by blood. Despite the pain you know you must have caused, the invisible hold only tightened, trapping both of your hands. 

“Please baby open your eyes, you are safe I promise.” Bakugou’s voice cooed softly trying to pry you away from your own mind. 

You shake your head not trusting the voice, after all, it was the same one that had just been hurting you. With both your hands held still you are left with no choice but to use your teeth. You bite down on one of the arms holding you, sinking your teeth deep into the flesh until a rusty taste fills your mouth. 

“Open your eyes my beautiful girl please,” Bakugou’s voice grew clearer, the malice you had been expecting surprisingly absent. 

Reluctantly you relax into the warm hold and crack one eye open. A sweet smelling black tank top was the first thing you recognized. You blink your eyes a few times to clean them and get a better look around. 

The cold dark room you had been in only moments ago was gone, replaced by a soft bed and warm blankets. The tight suffocating grip that had held you earlier is now a warm embrace. 

You look at the strong arms holding you to your fiancé’s chest and wince. Deep red scratch marks littered his muscles and an already bruising bite branded his shoulder. With you no longer resisting he released your hands and started to run his fingers up and down your back. Despite his mask of relaxation, you could tell he was shaken up. 

“I did it again didn’t I?” you ask weakly already knowing the answer. 

Bakugou let out a sigh, “Yeah, it took me nearly ten minutes to get you back this time.” 

Overwhelming guilt filled your mind for the second time tonight. You had hurt the man you loved because of some stupid dreams. It had been months since your rescue and still every night without fail you dreamed about it happening. It was like the torture never stopped. 

“It is getting worse,” Bakugou says, continuing to pet down your back. 

You nod weakly. He was not wrong. Neither of you had gotten a full night’s rest since the incident. No matter what pills you took without fail you dreamed about Bakugou. Logically you knew it was not Bakugou who had been the one to hurt you. He was your hero and his reward is you flinching from his touch and attacking him in your sleep. None of this was fair. 

Bakugou’s lips softly pressed against your forehead as he pulled you in even closer. You ignored the spike of fear being close to him caused and tried to remember this was your Bakugou, not the sick twisted version Mimic created. 

“We can’t keep going like this baby,” he says weakly. “I think I need to leave for a little bit.” 

Absolute panic grips your heart, “No! Please don’t leave me. I’ll get better I promise. I will find another sleeping pill that one doctor prescribed worked for the first couple of weeks. We can figure this out, please don’t-” 

“Shh,” Bakugou pulled you in closer. “Right now I am not good for you.” 

You open your mouth to protest but he places his hand finger over our lips. “Baby you flinch every time I look at you.” 

You wanted to deny his claim but remember how his eyes felt on your skin and shutter. 

“My face, my voice, hell my smell are all triggers for you. I am hurting you by being near you. I am causing you pain by serving as a living reminder of your pain and I can’t do it anymore.” 

Hot tears start to fall from your eyes. You hated how everything he is saying is not wrong. He is a walking trigger for the memories of that night and you had no idea how to get over them. 

“So this is it,” you say, defeated. 

“No, baby god no. You and I just need some time apart until you are ready to see me again. I am planning on staying at Deku’s for a bit, the nerd offered me his spare bedroom.” 

Despair was the only thing you could feel. All of this was your fault and he should hate you for it but he doesn’t. Why doesn’t he hate you like you hate yourself? He should be screaming at you for causing all of this. The blame is yours and yours alone. If you had been just a little stronger you would never have been taken in the first place and none of this would have happened. 

“Until I can get you to talk to me about how you are feeling I can’t help you. All I am doing is making this worse.” His arms started to loosen their hold around you and for the first time in weeks you wanted them back. 

His arms pulled away completely, taking his warmth. “This is not permanent,” he assured. “It is just until you are ready for me to come back and I will wait as long as you need.” 

You start to reach out for him, to beg him to get back in bed but the silhouette of him above you sent a chill down your spine. You wanted to rip everything apart, every time you made progress there was something dragging you backward. 

You watch helplessly as he quickly dresses and leaves the bedroom, not looking back. You can’t blame him, you want to be free of yourself too. You could hear the front door to the apartment open and quietly shut, the lock clicking into place. 

Life moved slower when you did not have your angry gremlin by your side. It had been a few weeks since he left and you had never been more miserable. At first, you had agreed to the separation, after all, he was a giant trigger but you were quickly realizing it was worse without him. 

The anxiety of being alone at night had you reaching for your phone nearly every night, wanting to call him. It was a miracle you had managed to resist. With you not there to bother him maybe he would finally be getting some sleep. 

The only communication you had gotten from him was a couple of texts letting you know he was still alive. You know he was trying to give you space but the longer he was away the more you wanted to drag him back home. 

Your therapist had still not cleared you for fieldwork so the only thing you could to distract yourself was binge a couple of shows and try some cooking. Of course nothing you made tasted half as good as Bakugou’s cooking. By the end of the the first week your life consisted of sleep, tv, and takeout. 

Your glazed-over eyes half focus on the tv in front of you as you are lost in your thoughts. You hear a knock on the door and rush over to open it. Could he have changed his mind and come back? For the first time in a long time hope filled your chest but it was quickly shattered as you look through the peephole. Uraraka stood still outside your door holding a few grocery bags. 

You try to plaster on a fake smile and open the door. Uraraka did not wait for an invitation and barreled her way into your apartment. 

“Hello to you too,” you mumble, closing the door. 

She sets the floating bags onto the counter and releases her quirk. “Whew, you would believe the line at the store this morning. All the old ladies were fighting their way into the store for the 20% off sale. Of course none of them could beat me from being first in line.” 

You snort, no matter how many brand deals and hero contracts Uraraka had she never stopped being frugal. 

“How was your morning?” She asked, unpacking the many goods from the bags. 

You shrug, “Same as always, watched some tv and pretend my life isn’t falling apart.” 

Uraraka pauses and gives you a look of understanding. “You know he hasn’t forgotten about you, not for one minute.” 

You look away, “What does it matter, our relationship is practically over. I have not seen him in weeks and even if I did see him I would make everything worse with my stupid fear.” 

“You fear is not stupid, you went through something traumatic and need time to heal.” 

You scoff, “I have had time. But every time I make any progress something triggers me and I fall right back down to where I started.” 

“That is normal though! It took me weeks to even look at Deku without crying. You are both being too hard on yourselves.” 

“I am tired of waiting!” You yell, finally letting your anger out in the open. “I miss him so much it hurts. I miss how he would hold me every night after he helped me bathe because I was too sore to even lift my arms. I miss how he would pack my lunch every day because he could not stand watching me go hungry. I miss my Bakugou.” 

Uraraka wraps her arms around your shoulders pulling you in tight against her chest, letting you sob. It was the first time in weeks anyone had touched you. Her soft hands traced up and down your back, trying her best to soothe the pain. 

“I miss him so much,” you cry between hiccups. 

“So why don’t you call him? I am sure he would be happy to hear your voice.” Uraraka pulls out her phone and starts to dial his number. 

“No!” You snatch the phone from her hand and toss it over your shoulder. You wince as you hear the phone connect with the hardwood floor. 

The hand on your back stills, “You are going to replace that you know.” 

You nod, a worthy expense if it meant you did not have to confront reality just yet. At least with him gone you could pretend your relationship was not over. 

“Stop saying that! Your relationship is not over. What the two of you need is a good conversation.” 

You must have said the last part out loud. “What does it matter, even if we have a conversation and he moves back in I will end up having nightmares and keep him up for weeks. It is not fair for him to suffer through that for me.” 

“Ugh!” Uraraka shoves you off her chest and stands. “Both of you keep pushing each other away based on some convoluted idea that you are actually protecting each other. It makes me want to pull my hair out!

You cross your arms over your chest, “Well I am protecting him.” 

She rolls her eyes, “Sure.” 

“Hey, don’t make me regret teaching you sarcasm. I’m being serious, my nightmares were getting so bad I started to attack him in my sleep.” 

“No offense but Bakugou can handle you with his hands tied behind his back.” 

“But he shouldn’t have to! It is not fair for him to have to worry if his fiancé will attack him in his sleep every night.” 

“News flash, life is not fair. It was not fair when I watched the love of my life get skewered in front of me. It was not fair when I could not look at him for weeks without crying. And it was not fair when Mimic tortured you. None of this is fair or just, it is all shit we are given and sometimes it is more than we can handle.” 

She holds your chin in her hands, “The only thing you are doing wrong is pushing away the person who you need the most.” 

“But I hurt him when he is close,” you argue weakly. 

Uraraka’s eyes softened, “You hurt him more when you push him away. His quirk is not mind reading, he has no idea how to help you, how you can both help each other.” 

You knew she was right, that what you were doing was not working. But you were stuck, unsure how to even start talking to him again. Even so, you had to try. 

“Alright, I will try giving him a call-” 

Behind you, Uraraka’s phone rang, its piercing ring tone cutting you off. Your heart sinks, that ring tone only went off when a hospital was calling. Without a word, Uraraka bends down and picks up her phone from the floor. 

“Hello, this is Uravity speaking,” she said into the phone. 

You watch her face for clues and your heart grew even heavier as worry danced in her eyes. 

“Are you going to transfer him to the Hero’s hospital in Tokyo?” 

Your breathing stops. No, the world could not be so cruel. Your hearing grows fuzzy making it impossible to tune into the rest of Uraraka’s conversation.

“Hey,” someone said in the background. “Hey, I need you to focus. Bakugou is hurt, I am not next of kin so they won’t tell me anything about his condition. I am going to drive us over to the hospital, he should already be there by the time we arrive” 

You nod, too stunned to speak. He was hurt. Your Bakugou was hurt and you were just standing around. Ignoring the pain in your chest your mind finally snapped into action. 

Wordlessly you and Uraraka rushed down to her car below. The drive to the Hero’s hospital was short, only a few blocks from your apartment. The front entrance was already packed full of reporters trying to catch a glimpse of your injured hero. 

You bite your tounge to stop yourself from cursing the reporters out. Those nosy assholes wanted to broadcast Bakugou’s pain to the public for a quick buck. Luckily disappeared from your sight as Uraraka drove past the and into the private parking lot. 

Uraraka had not even put the car in park when you shoved open the door and ran to the sliding doors. You could hear her yell to wait behind you but you kept running until you found the front desk. 

You skid to a stop in front of a shocked receptionist and slam your palms down on the counter, “Where are they taking Hero Dynamight?” You ask, holding your hero license out so she would know you were not a reporter. 

The receptionist winced, “I am sorry but only allowed to disclose information to the family of the patient.” 

“Well I am his wife and I am demanding to know where he is.” You retort, not caring about the implications of the claim. 

“Dynamight is not married, his paperwork states he is a single but nice try.” 

“Listen here you-” your rant was cut short by a soft hand on your shoulder. 

“It was a private ceremony, they have still not made it public yet so there is now paperwork. I know that is not protocol but won’t you please let it slide this once ” Uraraka smiles sweetly trying to play cute to get what she wants.

The receptionist shook her head, “ I am sorry but I cannot allow anyone who is not documented family to visit any patient.” 

You open your mouth to yell but Uraraka beats you to it. 

“That is fine, thank you for doing such a great job protecting our heroes.” She gently grabs your bicep and pulls you away from the desk before you could say another word. 

“What are you doing she is our only way of figuring out anything about Bakugou.” You hiss trying to pry yourself free from her hold. 

“No she’s not,” Uraraka turns her head to look at you and smiles. “I spent a few weeks coming in and out of this hospital while Deku was recovering. Going through the main entrance is the easiest way but there is a locked side door. With enough force, it can be wiggle open.” 

“Won’t it have an alarm?” 

“Of course it has an alarm this is a heavily secured building. Luckily they have a well-trained hero there to investigate the disturbance,” she winked. 

You laugh, being a hero did have its perks. It only took a few more turns before she found the small door. 

“Now when I open this door a blaring alarm will go off and two security guards will come rushing from either end. I will handle the one on this side but you will be on your own for the other. Try not to hurt them too much.” 

With that Uraraka wraps her hand around the door handle and pulls, her arm muscles bulging from the effort. You stand still, stunned to watch your friend pry open the solid steel door.

The door finally gives sending out a blaring alarm but you had already made it past the first couple hallways, hiding in a small doorway as a guard runs past. You wait another minute to make sure the coast is clear besides casually walking down the hallway until you found a nurse’s station.

“Excuse me,” you say, trying to sound as polite as possible. “The front desk told me to ask you which room my husband is in.” 

The oldest nurse looked you up and down skeptically, “What is your husband’s name?” 

“Bakugou Katsuki.” 

“Uh-hu sure, wait here a minute for me while I go find his nurse.” She turned and disappeared into the room behind the station.

Fuck, she was onto you. You slowly walk backward away from the door’s line of sight and rush down the hallway looking desperately for Bakugou. He had to be here somewhere but the hospital was a maze of hallways and doors with no names on them. 

You could not yell out for him that would only alert security to your position faster. You spin on your heels looking frantically for any sign of him but the more you look, the more lost you become. 

“Hey! You cannot be back here,” A security guard yelled, a taser already armed in his hand. 

You put your hands into the air, looking to your side for an escape. You could handle one petty security guard but you did not feel like explaining to the commission why you beat a guard. Sucking in a deep breath you run towards the officer who was too shocked to pull the trigger on the taser. Sticking your leg out you kick his feet out from under him sending his back to the floor. 

Without looking back you run down the hall taking as many turns as you could to find a hiding spot. One of these rooms had to have no camera in it. 

In your frantic looking, one door stood out. It was off to the left in a dead-end hallway. It had to be a good enough hiding spot as any. You sprint to the door and swing the door open into a pitch-black room. 

You felt bile rise in your throat at the thought of entering the darkness but you had no choice, security was hot on your heels. You close your eyes and step into the darkness, closing the door behind you. 

Your back rests against the door and you listen to the guards run past the hallway. For now they had no idea where you were. You let out a sigh of relief and feel around the wall for a light switch. 

Mercifully, you find it and switch it on. The room looked like any other hospital room except for one thing. There was someone in the bed and they were about to look up. 

Shit! You duck under one of the tables in time to hide from their view. 

“Oi, I thought I told you people to leave me alone! I already took the damn pills and agreed to stay the night.” 

Your breathing stops at the deep rough voice of Bakugou. You found him; he is not in a coma fighting for his life. He is in bed resting safely just feet away from you. A sob of relief climbs your throat, and you have to slap your hand over your mouth to mute it. 

The rush of blinding fear to find Bakugou suddenly turns into fear about seeing him. What if he did not want you to visit? Fuck you should have thought about this more before you left. 

“I can hear your breathing! Don’t make me get out of bed or I will kick your ass.” 

Not wanting him to hurt himself by standing you relent and force your weak knees up. You keep your eyes to the floor not daring to look at his face, “Surprise,” you tease weakly. 

“W-what?” Bakugou said, his voice high and full of confusion. 

“I-I heard you got hurt, no one was telling me anything, so I decided to come and check up on you myself. But I see you are fine so I will leave you alone. I am sorry for barging in.” 

“Wait! Don’t leave,” Bakugou winces as he sits up in bed, his abdomen covered in bandages. Instantly you rush to his bedside. 

“Don’t move that fast you will hurt yourself!” You lecture, gently pushing him back down to the bed. Bakugou looks down at your hands with shock, you had not touched him caringly since the incident. 

You quickly realized your hands were still on him and snatch them back to your side. You stand there awkwardly, unsure what to do. It was like the months of being together had been erased since he had left. 

“W-what happened?” You finally ask to break the silence. 

Bakugou looks down at his hands, “Some stupid kid ran out in the middle of the fight and almost got themselves killed. I didn’t have enough time to get them out of the way, so I had to shield them instead. Damn villain managed to shoot me.” 

“You got shot!” 

“Yeah, pathetic asshole knew he could not take me without a gun. Lucky for me he had terrible aim and managed to only graze my side. The only reason I am still in this stupid bed is because Rescue Girl is on vacation and refuses to come in and heal me.” 

The heavy weight on your heart lifted slightly knowing he was not seriously hurt but you still worried about his current condition. Bakugou was not one to sit around until he felt better. In the time the two of you had been together he only got sick once and it took tackling him to the ground and tying him up in bed to keep him from working. 

You knew him and Deku were on good terms now but dealing with a hurt Bakugou was a full-time job. “How long did the doctor say you have to be off work?” 

Bakugou scoffed, “She thinks I have to wait at least a week even with Recovery Girl. As soon as I can escape this bed I will head back to the office I have a villain to hunt down.” 

You put your hands on your hips, “Oh no you won’t. If the doctor tells you to wait a week you will wait a week.” 

A mischievous grin spreads across Bakugou’s face, “Oh, and how are you going to enforce that?” 

Blood rushes to your face making your cheeks feel like they were burning. To keep him from fighting his restraints the last time he was sick you had to fuck him until he was too tired to care he was chained up. By the time he had recovered from being sick you could barely walk and he had to be the one to take care of you.

“Don’t look at me like that when you are hurt.” 

“Then answer the question, how do you plan to keep me from working this week.” 

“What are you five? Do you really need an incentive to be good?” You taunt. 

A wolfish grin spread across his face, “Yes.” 

You throw your hands up in the air, “Ugh, you are terrible!” 

His hand reaches out and grabs your wrist to pull you in closer to the bed and for a second fear flashes in your eyes. All of the teasing had made you forget your fear but his touch brought is all back. 

Bakugou sensed the change in your demeanor and opened his hand to free you from his touch. 

“Wait, don’t move your hand,” you suck in a deep breath. “Just give me a second.” 

His warm long fingers wrapped themselves back around your wrist, holding still as you try to calm your heart. You were stronger than this fear. You could do this. 

“Baby, you don’t have to push yourself, I understand-” 

“No!’ You yell, taking a step closer to his bed. “This is ok, I will make this ok again.” 

You avoid looking at his face, needing to build up your strength before testing your limits. Being separated from him had helped your memories heal some but it was still difficult to see him. 

Forcing the tight fear in your chest down you intertwined your fingers through his and pull them up to your lips, gently kissing his knuckles.

“It is easier when I control where you touch,” you mumble to him, trying to follow Uraraka’s advice. 

“What?” Bakugou asked, unsure what you meant. 

“When you are the one controlling the touching, it makes me nervous because I don’t know what will happen next. It makes me feel like I have no control and that is when I start to freak out.” 

You look down to where your hands were joined, “When I am leading the touch I have some idea of what will happen next and it is easier to not feel scared.” 

“So you have to be in charge?” 

“I don’t have to always be in charge, I just need to know what you are thinking, what you are doing before you do it or I need to be guiding it.” 

Bakugou smiled, “So if I told you to sit on my face would that work?” 

A few incoherent words fall out of your mouth as you try to process what he just said. 

“Well, maybe, but you are hurt and need your rest. Besides, you should not be thinking about that while you are lying in a hospital bed. When you are discharged, we can try something like that.” 

Bakugou sat up straighter, “Oh no you don’t. I have gone without your taste on my tongue for too long. You are going to get that sweet ass over here and sit on my face.” 

“No, Bakugou. Look at the state of you. I could seriously hurt you.” 

That was the absolute worst thing you could have said, in seconds his teasing eyes filled with fiery determination. The last time he gave you that look was when you rejected going on a date with him. A week later he had your legs wrapped around his waist. 

He lifts his finger and points to you and then his face, “Come here.” 

You stubbornly shake your head, “This is not happening Bakugou. You could tear your stitches and have to stay in the hospital even longer.”

He shrugs, “Fine with me as long as you are here.” 

This damn man must be suicidal. “We need to talk more about our relationship before we dive right into sex.” 

“Your mouth will be free and clear to talk.” 

“This is an awful idea. What if I get freaked out in the middle of it all?” 

“That’s easy, we stop,” he gently pulls you in closer his face now only inches away. 

“Please baby I have missed you; I promise I will stop if it gets too much.”

You were conflicted. Neither of you were in a state where you should be fooling around. But the feel of his hand on yours was so calming and warm that you wanted more. 

“Alright,” you whisper. “But If you are in any pain you need to let me know.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I promise. Now get that pretty ass up here,” he pats his shoulders. 

“This is such a bad idea,” you mumble to yourself as you slip off your pants while Bakugou lowered the head of the bed. This could go wrong in so many ways but the longer you thought about his tongue on you the less you cared. 

“Fuck baby,” Bakugou groaned, “Climb up, you won’t hurt me.” 

You toss your pants to the side and do as he said. Climbing up onto his bed and carefully lowering yourself over his face. Your face was burning at the thought of what all he could see. Needing support, you grab ahold of the headboard. After all you did not want to hurt him. Bakugou was not having that. He wrapped his arms around your thighs and pulled you down until you had no choice but to rest your weight on his face. 

“Wait, you could hurt yourself,” you protested breathlessly. 

He only laughed, his hot breath teasing your aching cunt. He sat still under you for a few minutes letting you get adjusted to the feeling of his touch, and it let him soak in the sight of you above him. 

“Such a pretty pussy,” he mumbled against the soft skin of your thighs. Not wanting to move too fast he first places a few sloppy kissing along with your inner thigh, giving you ample time to mentally prepare for his mouth on your cunt. 

You try to stop yourself from shaking but it was impossible. It had been months since someone had touched you and to have Bakugou beneath you, ready to worship your body, was almost too much for your brain to process. 

Bakugou’s mouth teased your other thigh before settling on your already soaking wet pussy.

“That’s my good girl, already wet for me. This pretty pussy knows who it belongs to, but does its owner?” 

“Bakugou stop talking to my pussy and get to work,” you growl. 

“Tsk, when did you become so greedy?” The hands on your thighs shift around until they were able to spread open your sex giving him complete access to you.

“You are lucky I miss this just as much as you do or I would tease you for hours. Tie your ass to the bed and not let you leave until neither of us could move.” 

You rock your hips trying to egg him on, “Sounds to me like you are all talk.” 

The hands on your thighs tighten forcing you to put all your weight onto his face. You try to pull yourself up, not wanting to suffocate your boyfriend but he refuses and goes straight for the kill. His soft wet tongue drags a straight line up the slit of your cunt, gathering up your juices. 

Your hands abandon the headboard and thread through his hair. Bakugou groaned, settling into feasting on your cunt. His soft lips slide through your folds, looking for your hidden button. 

“Ah please Bakugou,” you beg, “it feels so good.” 

You could feel his smile against your skin before his mouth latches onto your throbbing clit, dragging it into his mouth. 

While his lips teased your clit, one hand left your thigh to snake around under you. You lurch forward as two thick fingers slip through your folds, wetting themselves in your slick before they gently press at your entrance. 

Your hips buck away from the combined sensations fearing to be too much but Bakugou was not having it, he strengthened his hold on your thighs and pushed you down on his fingers. You sob at the feeling of being stretched, it had been so long the burn was more intense than normal. 

“Fuck baby you are so tight around my fingers, I can’t wait to have you wrapped around my cock,” he groaned. 

“Bakugou,” you whined. “You can’t just say things like that.” 

He releases your clit with a pop, “Like what? Like how I want to feast on this pussy until you are all I can taste for weeks. Like how by the time I am done with you, you will be a sobbing mess that I will have to take care of. Just listen to this sloppy pussy take my fingers. Fuck baby people would kill for even a sliver of this cunt but too bad for them it is all mine.” 

You shove a fist in your mouth to stifle a loud moan. The last thing either of you needed was someone barging in. 

Bakugou pulled your aching bud back between his lips and got to work. The two fingers inside you started to pump, curling to hit your sweet spot each time they were inside you. His delicious tongue flicked up and down on your clit driving you mad. 

Trusting you would not run away he releases your other thigh and reaches under your shirt. His large hand stroked up your stomach, caressing the skin there before latching onto one of your nipples. He pinches the soft peak between his fingers, rolling it until it pebbles. You arch your back into his hand and start to rock your hips wanting more. 

Bakugou moans into your cunt, able to tell you were growing lost in the pleasure. He loved it when you were too engrossed with feeling good to care about anything except him. 

Looking down in between your legs you could see his light blonde hair peeking out from the apex of your thighs and had a devilish idea. 

“Bakugou stick out your tongue,” you order. 

He releases you from his mouth and looks up, his chin soaking with your juices, “What?” 

“Stick out your tongue, like this,” You show him with your own mouth. 

A spark of recognition flashed in his eyes and he smiled. Good, he liked the idea too. With no delay, his tongue stuck out of his mouth. You reach down and spread yourself open, settling back over Bakugou’s eager tongue. His fingers abandon you in favor of holding onto your ass while you dig your fingers into his hair. 

With both of you settled you slowly begin to rock your hips, riding his tongue. You start off slowly, watching closely for any sign Bakugou was not comfortable but judging by his growl of pleasure you would say he is just fine. 

A red hot warmth started to grow in the lower half of your body, slowly spreading its tingle to your lower belly. Fuck, the image of Bakugou beneath you, letting your ride his face was almost too much to process. 

“Oh god Bakugou,” you moan. “Please, it feels so good.” 

He could only groan in response, his mouth too busy bringing you to your peak. When you looked down at him between your legs you could only see his bright lust filled eyes. They were intensely watching you fall apart. 

White spots started to grow in your vision and you increase the speed of your thrusts. The fingers in his hair tighten, now holding onto him for dear life. It only took a few more rocks of your hips before the white spots grew into a blinding white light.

Overwhelming waves crashed into you, sending glorious pleasure pulsing through you. Your body was not your own as the electricity ran through you making every muscle grow taunt and release in a never-ending cycle. 

Bakugou redoubled his effort, not letting you even finish your first peak before he was building you up to another. The idea that you would feel that pleasure again was enough to make you mad. 

His fingers slipped into your clenching entrance and curled forward, teasing your sweet spot. His lips returned to your clit, sucking it gently into his mouth and lashing at the tender bud with his tongue. 

You release his hair, afraid you will rip it out, and hold onto the headboard as all the clenching tension finally releases, sending you spiraling. Loud wanton moans ripped from your throat and you could do nothing to stop them. 

Bakugou toyed with you until you could no longer hold yourself upright. Only then did he gently lift you off his face and down onto his lap. You slouch over and rest your forehead on his shoulder. The world around you was fuzzy, your mind still reeling from how hard you finished. 

“Wait, Bakugou you are not supposed to be lifting anything!” You yell when your mind finally returns to reality. 

“Tsk, I already told you I am fine.” 

You fought the urge to slap him, “You idiot what if you had busted open your stitches!” 

“You did not seem too worried about that when you were rubbing your cunt on my tongue.” 

“Well, obviously I was not thinking straight,” you mumble. Damn him for being right. 

Bakugou gives you a sly smile, “You know I am feeling a little sore.” 

Regret slams into you, “Damn it Bakugou, I was worried this would happen. Where are you hurting.”

His hips thrust upwards forcing his rock-hard cock against your ass. “Right there baby.”

You flick your finger against his forehead, “I was really worried you asshole.”  

“But it aches, won’t you make it feel better?” 

“You are lucky you are hot,” you whisper into his ear before carefully descending his body. You settle in between his legs, pulling down the blankets to free his cock. 

You have to stop and stare at it. Everything about your boyfriend had to be perfect. His cock was long and proud, resting on his stomach with a small tuft of blonde pubic hair at the base. His cock had one large vein running up the length of it, pulsing with each heartbeat. God, you wanted to trace that vein with your tongue. 

Reaching up you wrap your hand around the base of his cock. He was so warm on your hand, like your own personal space heater. You shuffle your body to get your mouth a little close to his cock and then before he could say anything bring the head of his cock into your mouth. 

His reaction was instant, his hands shot down to grab at the sheets beside your head. You could feel his hips flex under you as he fought the urge to thrust up into your mouth. 

Feeling emboldened by his reaction you relaxed the muscles in your jaw and took more of his length into your mouth. His salty flavor spilled across your tongue as he started to release pre-cum. Your poor baby had gone too long without any attention. 

Redoubling your effort you bring up your free hand and wet it with your spit. Reaching under your busy mouth you slide your finger down until you find Bakugou’s tight entrance. 

“Hey, what do you think you are doing?” Bakugou growls, grabbing your wrist. 

You let his cock fall out of your mouth and look up innocently, “I am making you feel good baby, just lay back and relax. I promise this will feel good.” 

He looked conflicted but slowly the iron-clad grip on your wrist loosened enough to set you free. Not waiting for him to change his mind you begin to circle his hole with your wet finger. Before you could even try to push your finger forward you needed him to relax. You return to teasing his aching cock with your mouth, sucking on his tip just the way he likes all the while circling your finger around his hole, waiting for him to relax enough for you to slip it in. 

As you take another inch of him into your mouth you could feel him relax enough to slip your finger slip past the tight ring of muscle. You could feel Bakugou tense so you did not move the finger forward, giving him time to adjust to the intrusion. 

With your tongue on his dick it was easy enough to distract him as you slowly inch your finger in. Once you went in far enough you twist your finger around, looking for a soft spongy spot inside him. A sharp thrust up into your mouth signaled you had found exactly what you were looking for. 

“What the fuck,” Bakugou groaned, his hands going to hide his face. You smirk, finally, you were the one driving him insane. 

You benign to move your hand and mouth on his cock in time with your finger in his ass. Small pathetic whines were leaving Bakugou’s mouth and you felt like a god. You were so engrossed in bringing him pleasure you had no time to think about anything else. 

You could hear his breathing begin to grow more labored and his cock grow even harder in your mouth. “Fuck, baby I am going to-” Was the only warning you had before his cum shot to the back of your throat. 

You swallow his release down, making sure to ease your hold on his cock, now only gently pumping your hand and finger to lengthen his orgasm. 

Slowly the pulsing of his cock stopped and you released him from your mouth, wiping the spit on your chin off with the back of your hand. You could not help but smile as you watched Bakugou slowly come back into the real world with a beautiful dazed look on his face. 

He slid his hand under your chin and lifted your head to meet his eyes, “Where the fuck did you learn that?” 

“Being away from you for this long made me desperate so I watched a couple of videos to make it easier.” 

“Right,” he said breathlessly, “You need to show me that shit later if it taught you that.”

You laugh, “Gladly. Now lay down you need your rest.” 

Bakugou tilts his head, “What the hell do you mean rest? I have not been away from you for too long, I can rest later. Now I am going to get my cock into that tight pussy.” 

“Bakugou you just finished.” 

“So,” he thrusts his hips up, rubbing his already erect cock against your ass. 

“How?” You ask in amazement. 

“I have been fantasizing about fucking you for months baby. Did you really think once would be enough to satisfy me?” 

Without waiting another minute his hands grab into your hips and lift you up. Lining your entrance up with the tip of his cock. In a flash you involuntarily tense your body, the memories of that night rushing back into your head. No, no, no, not now, not when you were so close to being one with Bakugou again. 

His bright red eyes meet yours as he feels you tense. Fuck, why did you always mess everything up, this was all your fault. Why could you not just be normal, that is what he deserved a nice normal happy girl. 

“Hey,” Bakugou whispered softly. “Talk to me, what is wrong.” 

You wanted to keep your lips shut, to pretend that everything was fine but that would be lying. You never wanted to lie to him. 

“I can’t stop thinking about Mimic. One minute I am fine and the next he is all I can see.” 

Bakugou’s eyebrows furrowed, “You were fine with what we did earlier? What triggered it?” 

You shake your head, “It is different every time. It is just hard for my mind to differentiate from my Bakugou and the one Mimic made.” 

“So call me Katsuki.” 

“Huh?” 

“If you are having a hard time with there being two Bakugou’s, then try calling me Katsuki. That way there is at least one easy way to tell me apart from him.” 

“You want me to call you by your first name?” 

His eyes softened, “Yeah baby, I want you to call me by my first name.” 

“Katsuki,” You test his name out, loving how it feels on your tongue. You watch his face to see his reaction and see lust fill his gaze. Oh he liked it.

You start to whisper his name over and over again, like a prayer to remind yourself you were no longer under Mimics thumb. You were with the man who would kill anything that tried to hurt you.

“If you keep saying my name like that baby I am going to fuck you,” Katsuki growled into your ear.

Oh would he now? You wiggle your hips, teasing the head of your cock with your dripping slit. Pulling him in close you whisper one little word, “Katsuki.”

“You asked for it,” He laughed, hauling your hips back up until they hovered over his cock.

The hands on your hips gripped down with bruising force and his cock slipped into your entrance. All the play from earlier had left you more than prepared enough to take his length. The familiar burn started as his cock sank deeper inside you, opening you wide for him.

“By the time I am finished with you, this tight cunt is going to be fucking dripping in my cum. I am going to fill you to the fucking brim.”

A low groan was your only response he bottomed out inside you, his cock leaving no space unfilled. You could damn near feel him in the back of your throat. Normally he would be the one to initiate thrusting but you were growing too impatient.

Bracing your hands on his chest, careful to avoid his bandages, you lift your hips up until only the tip of his cock was inside. Then you slam your hip down, marveling at the feel of him entering you again.

His cock was perfect for hitting all the sweet spots inside you. Not wanting to be left out Katsuki grab ahold of your ass and uses his own strength to strengthen each thrust.  

You look down to where you both were joined and almost came on the spot. The sight of his cock pistoning into you was mind-shattering. He looked like a god beneath you. His large muscles building with effort, the thick veins in his arms standing elevated.

“Look at me,” he ordered, his bright red eyes filled with determination. “Right now you are mine, that means the only thing you are allowed to think about is me. About how good my cock feels splitting you open. Is that clear?”

You weakly nod your head, too overwhelmed to speak. A soft smile spreads across his face, “That is my baby, so good for me.”

His praise felt like a caress on your skin. You needed to distract yourself or this would end too soon. You lean forward and press your lips onto his. His tongue glided along the seam of your lips, demanding entrance. You happily opened your mouth allowing his tongue to slip inside. The taste of his spit was mixed with your own flavor, and you still had some of his taste on your tongue. The combined flavor was so fucking lewd and hot.

The familiar tingled started to grow in your pussy, you were not going to last long. The muscles in your legs begin to tremble making your thrusts grow sloppy. Katsuki was not having it. His hips rose to meet yours, forcing your body to endure even more pleasure all the while he toyed with your mouth.

It all became too much, the different sensations all worked together to drive you up, higher and higher you were climbing until it was hard to even breathe. Then, just like that, all the pressure released sending you spiraling.

Your pussy clamped down on his cock, forcing Katsuki to erupt. The thought of him filling you only lengthened the brutal pleasure filling your mind. There was no room in your mind for anything but him. You had no care in the world but him just like he ordered. 

As the pulses of pleasure slowed you were able to finally catch your breath. You both laid still in each others arms for a few minutes, letting you come slowly back to earth. Of all the times the two of you fucked this definitely had to be in the top three. Though they did say that makeup sex was the best. 

“How are you feeling?” Katsuki asked, his voice rough. 

You rest your ear against his chest, listening to his heartbeat, “I feel good.” 

He places a soft kiss on your forehead, “Do you think you are ready for me to come home?” 

You take the time to think about it. Having him back in your life did not set off fear like it used to. Instead, it made you feel warm inside. You looked forward to going to bed with him instead of dreading it. 

“Yeah,” you smile. “Yeah, I am.” 

The arms around your waist tighten pulling you impossibly closer to his chest. You snuggle in closer, getting comfortable. Katsuki would never admit it but lying here with you in his arms safe and happy was one of the happiest moments in his life. 

Neither of you was healed from what had happened but you refused to push him away again. You will get past what happened and you will do it with him by your side. 

[ignitedbynatsu]

He Makes You Feel Insecure ~ Rogue

A/N: let it be known that I finally managed to update at the deadline I set myself 🥳 I'm so sorry I was gone this past week but college was getting hella busy so I had to focus on that this past week but I'm backkk. Thanks to everyone who stuck around, I missed you all and can't wait to get to the requests ❤️

Genre: angst to fluff

Warnings: swearing, insecurities (he makes you feel too childish)

Other versions:

Gray ~ Laxus ~ Cobra/Erik ~ Bickslow ~ Gajeel ~ Natsu ~ Jellal ~ Freed ~ Sting

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

A loud crash could be heard followed by your and Sting's laughter filling the guild. You quickly fled the scene and hid behind Rogue while stifling your laughter.

You had played the oldest prank in the book on Minerva. A water bucket on a half-open door. You'll never understand how the brilliant mage fell for that one, but she did, resulting in you hiding from her wrath.

"(Y/N)! Sting!" Minerva screeched as the water dripped down her hair.

"We're sorry Minerva-san, we just couldn't pass the opportunity" you apologize on your and Sting's behalf, but it was nowhere near sincere As you both were still doing everything in your power to not burst out in laughter. It wasn't even that funny, but to you and Sting it was hilarious.

"I swear I'm dating a child" the annoyance that was latched on to the words made you immediately stop laughing. Surely he didn't mean for it to come out that harsh, right?

"I'm sorry, what was that" a soft smile still playing on your lips, but that was quickly wiped off when you met his cold gaze.

"I said that you're fucking childish, (Y/N). It was bad enough having Sting act this way, but with you encouraging him and even joining him? I feel like I'm in a fucking daycare. Grow up, will you" Sting laughter also died down as he saw his friend take his frustrations out on you. "Hey, man, that's not cool-"

"No, Sting, it's fine. I- uh- I'll see you all tomorrow" even Minerva shook her head in disappointment as she observed your slumped shoulders as you left the guild. She didn't miss the tears starting to form either.

The rest of the day everyone felt that they were walking on eggshells around Rogue, not daring to get on his bad side. They felt bad for you. Sure you could be a little annoying with all the pranks you pulled, but they all knew it was just good fun. You never meant any harm and just wanted to make the guild feel a little more like home.

That homeyness that you seemed to bring everywhere you went, was gone the next day. Your usual colourful outfits were replaced by dull grey and black clothes. They even were certain that they hadn't seen you crack a smile once that day.

"Hey, (Y/N)! I got this amazing idea for a prank and-" you interrupted Sting before he could elaborate his grand idea "thank you, Sting, but I'll have to decline."

You had never refused a prank before, nor had he ever heard you talk that formal "that's it"

You raised an eyebrow at him as he stormed off to God knows where.

You hated turning him down. After all, you had been itching all day to break this facade, but it was for the best. It'll pay off in the long run you kept telling yourself. After all, you couldn't imagine a world where you'd have to live without Rogue. So if that meant you'd have to change your personality a little bit, you wouldn't even hesitate to make that sacrifice.

Meanwhile, Sting had left to go find Rogue. He knew that his best friend was the only one who could put an end to this "is this what you wanted?"

"I have no clue what you are talking about" Rogue replied as he turned around to meet the fuming blonde.

"You seriously don't see how miserable you made (Y/N)?" He scoffed as Rogue looked around to spot you. It took him some time as he did not expect you to wear something so... Colourless. "You haven't even spoken to her today, have you?"

"I decided that I was way out of line yesterday and that I should give her some time" he explained. Did you really think you needed to change just to please him?

"How kind of you" Rogue was surprised by the sweet words coming out of Sting's mouth, but when he turned back to the said boy he was met by a harsh glare "now go fix it"

"What if I make it worse" the guilty was slowly eating him alive as he dared to steal another glance at you.

"You can't possibly make it worse than it already is" Sting dismissed his insecurities

"Fro thinks so too!" Rogue's head snapped towards the Exceed "Frosch?"

"It's three against one here" Lector also piped up as the three stared at him expectingly.

The raven-haired sighed, knowing he should do something to fix his mistakes, so he took a deep breath, gathered all his courage and headed towards his girlfriend. He never thought he'd feel this scared again to talk to you.

"(Y/N)... Can we talk?" He wanted to sound confident but when you looked at him and not even spared him a small smile, he felt like he wanted to sink back into the shadows.

"Of course, what is it you'd like to talk with me about?" Rogue cringed how smooth your tone was. No unnecessary intonation, no shouting, no expression. Everything was dull and blank.

"Why are you acting like this" your eyes went wide for a second. Were you still not living up to his expectations? Was it too little? Too much? You had no clue.

"I'm afraid I don't understand what you are talking about" you replied swiftly, covering up any traces of emotions you had just shown. "Did you not want me to stop acting like a child?"

"Yes, but-" "and is what I'm doing not exactly that what you asked me to do?" "Yeah... But-" Rogue was getting frustrated, but he knew he had no right to snap at you again.

"Then I don't see the relevance of this conversation. I'll be heading home now. I'll see you tomorrow" with that you placed a kiss on his cheeks and headed back out of the guild.

Rogue's attempts at covering up his frustration were in vain as you could read him like an open book. Afraid to get yelled at again you hastily decided to head back home. Ready to scream or punch something just to get your own frustrations out.

After the failed attempts of him making it up to you, you managed to put up your facade for a week, until one day you just didn't show up. You didn't notify Sting or Rogue in advance, which you normally do, you were just too tired to deal with anyone.

"Has (Y/N) told you she wasn't coming today?" Rogue's anxiety was through the roof. He nearly burned a whole town to the ground when he lost Frosch. Imagine what he'd do if he didn't know where you, his significant other was. "No"

"I'm going to her house" with that Rogue left in an attempt to find you. Luckily for him, you were indeed just at your house.

Your stomach dropped at the sound of someone knocking at your door. You were tired, no, exhausted even. You hated that you had to pretend that you were someone that you're not, but it was all for a good cause you kept telling yourself, and yet you couldn't muster the energy to keep up that facade.

"(Y/N)? Please tell me your home" your heart broke at the sound of his voice. The worry and desperateness were caused because of you. Once again you were not good enough.

You opened the door ever so slightly, just enough, so he could make out that it was in fact you. "Thank God you're here"

"I'm sorry for not giving a heads-up. I promise I'll be back tomorrow" you promised him as you were about to shut the door again, but he stopped you by placing his own hand against the door.

"(Y/N), please, we need to talk" you contemplated for a minute, weighing the pros and the cons "please"

You slowly opened the door further as a signal for him to come in.

The sight in front of him shattered his heart. Your eyes were red and puffy. Your figure was completely slouched and your arms were wrapped around your middle, hugging yourself, in an attempt to shield yourself away from.

"I'm sorry I probably look like a cry baby right now-" he stopped you before you could finish your excuse "hey, no, none of that"

"I want to tell you something and I need you to listen without you interrupting me, okay?" You nodded your head at his request and waited patiently as he continued. "First and foremost I'd like to apologize for my behaviour last week. I shouldn't have worked out my frustration on you and I shouldn't have attacked you like that."

You nodded your head at his apology "second, I want you to know that you should never change your personality. Especially not for me. I love you, (Y/N). And when I say that, I mean every piece of you. Your good and your bad traits. If fell in love with you for who you are, and not the person you've been portraying as the last week."

"Please go back to your old self. I'd rather have a childish person as my girlfriend than a fraud that's clearly exhausted by putting on a facade. I really am sorry for making you feel like you had to change for me" by now you were full-on crying. Maybe it was because of Rogue's kind words, maybe it was because of the exhaustion, maybe a bit of both. All you cared about now was being in his arms and feeling loved.

"It's okay" you whispered as placed your head on his chest as he planted a kiss on your head.

"It really isn't. That's why I'd like to make it up to you" you broke the hug to look up at him as a mischievous glint was sparkling in his eyes "how about we prank Sting?"

"I'd love to, but for now let's just watch a film and cuddle" you smiled at his idea as you had never pranked Sting before since you always prank others together.

"Anything for you, princess" that's how you spend the rest of your evening in each other's arms, with him reassuring you every once in a while that he loves you and that you should never change.

[mydogisveryadorbs]

bad day | jj maybank x reader

summary: jj has a bad day and he just wants to be with you

warnings: angst, cursing, mentions of abuse, sad jj, fluffy ending (ofc)

masterlist :)

(gif credit to the owner)

3.5k+ words

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To the outside world, JJ Maybank has a perfect life. He has the best group of friends, he parties all the time, he has all the freedom in the world, and most importantly, he has you.

To the outside world, it is practically impossible for JJ Maybank to have a bad day. How can you have a bad day when you have a perfect life?

The only person in the world that knew that bad days are actually a common occurrence in JJ’s life, was you.

When the two of you had first started dating over a year ago, you too had believed that JJ’s life was perfect. His outgoing personality and carefree nature were what initially attracted him to you and he fought hard to maintain that persona. It wasn't until three months into your relationship that you realized that the blonde boy had it so much harder than you could've possibly imagined.

Truth be told, JJ didn't open up to you on purpose. In fact, if he had it his way, you would have never had to see him break down the way that he did.

You didn't know what to do when you first found your boyfriend laying on the bathroom floor in the Chateau, body shaking with sobs. At first, you thought he had been in another rough quarrel with Rafe and his friends. But when he looked up at you, tear stains on his cheeks and the saddest eyes you had ever seen, you knew this wasn't just some run-in with a couple of kooks.

It didn't take long for you to get over your original state of shock and comfort the boy. Your younger sister had bad anxiety and experienced panic attacks often, and still, you found yourself on the less prepared side when it came to soothing the blonde you adored so much. It was hard for you to understand that the tough, wild, teenager that you had fallen in love with was simply a cover for the fragile boy inside.

You can still vividly remember sitting on the bathroom floor for hours with JJ. Despite your unfamiliarity with your boyfriend’s suffering, there was not one second that you had even remotely questioned your love for him. If anything, seeing him in such a vulnerable state made your appreciation for him grow.

JJ himself, on the other hand, did not know how to accept the comfort you had given him. He was so used to being alone every time he was feeling down. So used to hiding all of his emotions from the people around him. 

The two of you went through many difficult nights of him pushing you away and trying to block you out. But just as fast as he was building up his wall, you were tearing it down.

JJ doesn't know the exact moment when he allowed himself to succumb to your solace. Still to this day, it's hard for him to believe that someone as beautiful and compassionate as you can possibly love someone like him.

The more he let you in, the harder it was to be without you and now, whenever he had a run-in with his father or was unsure of himself, his first impulse was to call you.

You never hesitated to comfort the boy, knowing that he would do the same for you. And as much as you tried to stay strong for JJ, sometimes everything got to be a little bit too much. 

JJ will never forget the day you were holding him after a fight with his father and you couldn't hold it in anymore. You let out heart-wrenching sobs into his hair. The sound alone brought tears to his own eyes and the two of you held each other all night, whispering sweet nothing to one another.

JJ is having a bad day.

He should have known when he woke up this morning and you weren't in his arms. He glanced over, immediately recognizing your small handwriting on a blue sticky note which was stuck to your pillow. The note explained that your parents had asked you to come home, but that you would come back to the chateau to be with him that night.

have a great day and don't miss me too much lovie!

His heart fluttered at your sweet words. How did he get so god damn lucky? Popping open his phone case, JJ folds your note and sticks it inside, just in case he needs to read it again later.

Despite the loving feeling he got in his chest while reading your note, his day quickly went downhill.

When JJ opened the cabinets above the sink to make himself a bowl of cereal, they were empty. He brushed it off and went to work with an empty stomach.

At the hotel, a group of kids bumped into him while he was clearing a table and he dropped a wine glass on the floor, shattering it. His boss chewed him out for 30 minutes before putting him on dish duty for the rest of his shift.

After work, JJ went to the local market and used his tip money from the day to buy a sandwich and a small bouquet of your favorite flowers for you. He knew you would make a big fuss about him spending his money on you, but he loved to see the cute look of surprise on your face whenever he got you something like this. It made whatever he had gotten for you worth every penny.

On his way back to the Chateau, JJ was stopped by none other than Rafe, Topper, and Kelse on their bikes. He tried his best to ignore them, knowing that you hated when he got into fights, but as soon as Rafe mentioned a snide comment about your ass, JJ immediately threw the first punch. He didn't realize until after the fact that one of them had stomped on the flowers he bought for you.

As much as he hated it, the blonde boy knew he needed to go home to get a fresh pair of clothes. He could always ask you to get a pair from the drawer of his clothes you had in your room, but that would require telling you what had happened and he didn't want to be a bother while you were with your family.

He knew he was screwed when he arrived at his “house” and saw his father's truck parked in the dirt outside. JJ hoped that he would be able to slip by without being noticed, but his horrible luck from the day continued.

His father was in the stage of his drinking where he was drunk enough to be angry with his son, but not drunk enough for JJ to outrun him.

JJ’s cheek throbbed on his walk back to the Chateau and he was sure that he was sporting a fresh black eye. His ribs were sore as hell and the only thing that kept him moving was the thought of seeing you.

When he arrived at John B’s house he instantly took note of your missing car. He prayed that you had simply walked and that he would see you laying on the couch when he entered.

There was someone sitting on the couch, but it was not the person JJ was looking for.

“Dude,” John B said when he noticed JJ’s figure standing in the doorway. “What happened to your face?”

“Where's (Y/N),” the blonde asked, ignoring John’s question.

“She called and said she wasn't sure if she would make it,” Kie said, drawing JJ’s attention to where she was standing. “Her friend Carlee’s boyfriend cheated on her, so she went to comfort her. She said she tried to call you, but it went straight to voicemail,” the curly-haired girl explained.

Glancing down at his phone, JJ noticed it was dead. His shoulders slumped. All he wanted was to see his girl after a shit day, was that too much to ask? He knew first hand your dedication to your loved ones, and he knew it wasn't fair of him to want all of your comfort and love for himself, but he couldn't help it.

You were too nice, he decided. But that's why he loved you so much, wasn't it?

“So what happened to your face,” John B asked again, taking a sip of his beer.

JJ glowered at his best friend. “What do you care,” he snapped. He knew he shouldn't take his frustrations out on John B, but you were his coping method and he didn't know what to do without that.

John B raised his hands in defense, standing up to grab another beer. “Jeez, dude,” he said, “Just asking.”

“Well maybe you should mind your own goddamn business,” JJ yelled.

The brunette boy halted his actions and turned to face JJ. “What the fuck, man?” he asked, voice rising. “You really want to do this.”

“Yeah, I do.” He definitely didn't. “You know,” JJ snapped, “Maybe if you spent time with your actual friends instead of your fucking kook girlfriend, you would know what was going on in my life.”

John B scoffed “That's rich coming from the guy who spends every waking moment trying to impress a girl who's way out of his league,” he yells.

JJ knows he's right. You were too good for him. But you chose him anyway. Why?

“Fuck you,” JJ sneers, shoving past his best friend and walking out the back doors. He needed space.

You were getting ready to leave your friend's house when Kiara called you. 

Carlee was a sweet girl, and her douche of a boyfriend definitely didn't deserve her so you told her exactly that. But this wasn't the first time something like that had happened between them and based on previous occurrences, you figured Carlee would go a week before she decided to get back together with him.

It was times like these where you really thanked your lucky stars that you had found a boy like JJ. The two of you had your moments like any healthy couple, but you knew in your heart that he would never do anything to purposely hurt you.

You smiled when you saw Kie’s contact. “Hey girl,” you answer in a country accent, giggling at the end.

“(Y/N),” she said and your smile dropped, immediately understanding that there was something wrong. “You need to come to the Chateau right now.”

Your feet skid to a stop and you feel your heart drop to the pit of your stomach. “What happened? Is JJ okay?” you ask her in a rushed tone.

Kie’s voice is shaky when she speaks. “He came over today with a black eye and a bruised cheek and when John B asked about it JJ kind of freaked out,” she explains. “They are screaming at each other right now. (Y/N), you gotta come quick,” you could hear yelling in the background.

“I'm on my way,” you assure her, hanging up. You run to your car, heart twisting in worry. It wasn't like your boyfriend to act like this so you knew something had to have happened.

You drove to the Chateau faster than you ever have before, getting there in under five minutes. The second your car pulled up to the house. You were flying out of your car and running inside the screen door.

“He's outback,” John B says upon seeing you enter.

Your eyes snap to him and they soften at the sight of his distraught face. “You alright, JB?” you ask.

He nods slowly. “I've never seen him like that, (Y/N),” John B tells you, his voice laced with worry. “You gotta help him.”

You nod your head, walking outside to find your boyfriend. You don't have to go far, spotting his hunched over the figure on the porch steps.

Slowly, you make your way towards the boy, and despite the fact that it's the middle of summer he is shivering violently.

You place a hand on his shoulder and he immediately flinches away from your touch. Your heart breaks at his reaction. “JJ, love, it's me,” you tell him softly, crouching down next to his body.

Hearing your voice, JJ lifts his head to look at you. His eyes are red-rimmed and filled with tears and the skin around the right one is hidden by blue and purple. Your eyes scan his face and you take note of the bruise on his cheekbone and his split lip. Your hands itch to remove his shirt, knowing that there are more hidden underneath.

The sound of JJ’s choked sob brings your eyes instantly back to his. 

“Oh, J,” you say sorrowfully, opening your arms for him. “C’mere.”

The blonde boy instantly falls into your embrace and you cradle his body tightly. He sobs into your shoulder and you feel a wet patch grow in your shirt. “I needed you, I need you,” he cries into your shoulder.

Softly shushing him, you run your fingers through his hair. “I'm here, J, I'm here,” you tell him, your heart aching for the boy in your arms. You don't know exactly how long you sit there, his hands clutching the back of your shirt tightly.

Slowly, his sobs die down before he is only sniffling every few seconds.

You pull back slightly, tenderly cupping his face in your hands. “Can we go inside?” you ask, gently brushing back the blonde curl that had fallen over his forehead.

JJ nods slightly and you stand up on the porch, helping him do the same. You bite your lip when you notice his subtle limp on the way inside. You notice how quiet the Chateau is and silently thank John B and Kiara for giving JJ the space he needs.

 Leading him into the bathroom, you help JJ sit on the counter and you quickly grab the first aid kit from the cabinet below the sink.

Opening it, you grab a cotton swab and an alcohol wipe to clean his lip and cheek, wordlessly realizing how many times you've had to do this.

“Why are you here,” the blonde boy asks abruptly. If you weren't paying attention you would have missed his small voice.

“What'd you mean, J?” you ask, continuing your work.

JJ sighs. “Why are you here?” he asks again, slightly louder, but still quieter than you are used too.

“Well, I was leaving Carlee’s house and Kie called me and told me that you-” JJ cuts you off, pulling away from your grasp slightly.

“No, (Y/N),” his tone is harsh but you can hear the brokenness laced behind it. “Why are you here? With me instead of with your friends? Or better yet another guy that can buy you nice things and doesn't have emotional trauma? A guy who's not broken?” he says the word with such hatred that it shakes you to your core.

“JJ,” you gasp, hurt flashing across your features. How could he think that? JJ instantly wants to take it back, but he wants even more to know your answer. “You are not broken, you hear me?” you say, honesty clear in your voice. “Your flaws are what make you, you. I don't need fancy gifts or expensive jewelry to make me love you! I love every single thing about you, JJ Maybank. From your head to your toes. I love you just the way that you are and there is nothing you can do to take that away from me. Ever.” Your voice is strong and serious. You leave no room for argument as you continue to patch up his face.

JJ doesn't speak again letting the words sink in, scared that he will break down for the second time that night. His eyes fall to the floor and he lets you tend to his cuts.

When you are satisfied with your work on his face, you tap the boy's arm lightly and his eyes snap to yours. “Lift your shirt so I can see,” you ask him, not making eye contact. When he doesn't move, your eyes lock with his. “Please, J,” you beg, in a quiet voice, “I need to see.”

The blonde knows he will never be able to say no to you, especially when you ask him that way, so he gingerly lifts his shirt over his head, tossing it to the side and wincing when he moves the wrong way.

JJ expects you to pity him. To tell him you're sorry the way everyone does. But you simply stare at his injuries, eyes welling with tears. And this, JJ decides, makes him feel infinitely worse.

Your hand reaches out to trace the large, purple-black bruises. JJ shivers at the touch of your soft hands on his skin.

He grabs your hand suddenly, pulling it up to his lips. “I'm sorry,” he says, voice cracking. “I'm sorry I dragged you into this.”

“Hey, hey, hey,” you say, using the hand not in JJ’s to run through his hair. “None of that, okay? I'm here because I want to be. And I will always be. No matter how many times you try to push me away.”

You feel hot tears on your hand and you quickly slide between his legs, pulling him back into your chest, careful of the bruises on his ribs.

“I love you,” JJ cries into the crook of your neck. “I love you more than anything else in this fucked up world.”

“Shh,” you say softly. “I know, lovie, I know. I love you too. Endlessly.”

JJ pulls back at your words, just enough so that he can look into your eyes.

You used to think your favorite color was purple. When you were ten you painted your entire room purple and even bought purple bedding. But the moment you looked into JJ’s cerulean eyes, it instantly became your new favorite color.

JJ looks from your eyes to your lips before leaning forward to kiss you.

The kiss was soft and passionate explaining every emotion the two of you were feeling. No matter how many times the two of you kissed, your heart raced like it was the very first time. 

Pulling away for air, JJ rests his forehead on yours. 

“What happened today, J?” you ask in a quiet voice. 

JJ bites his lip, leaning back slightly. His first instinct is to tell you that nothing happened and that he's okay, but JJ knows you wouldn't believe him for a second. So he recalls his day, telling you every detail. Just knowing that you know, makes JJ’s heart feel a little less heavy. “A-and I bought you these flowers from the florist on main, y-y'know the ones you love, and I couldn't even bring them to you,” he says sadly.

You caress his cheek. “Love, I don't care about the flowers, all that matters is that you're okay,” you assure him, honesty evident in his voice. “And as for your father, you are staying here or at my house from now on and the next time I see that son of a bi-”

JJ cuts you off, grabbing your hands. The last thing he ever wants is his father hurting you. “(Y/N), no,” he says, the vulnerability in his voice evident. “You need to promise me that you won't confront him. I don't want you getting hurt.”

You sigh, knowing how important this is to the blonde boy. “Only if you promise not to go back there unless I'm with you,” you compromise with him.

He nods, kissing your forehead gently. “Can we please go to bed,” JJ asks and you can hear the sleepiness in his voice. Nodding, you help JJ off the counter and the two of you walk to the spare room in the chateau. The two of you climb into the bed. You are still in your clothes from the day, but that is the last thing on your mind.

JJ moves his arms to wrap around your middle but you gently push his shoulder back. “Turn around, J,” you tell him quietly. You know that JJ secretly loves to be the little spoon and you secretly love to be the big spoon. He would never openly ask you to spoon him, but you can read his body language like a book.

He rolls to his other side and you wrap an arm around his bare middle, careful not to hit any of his bruises. You nuzzle your nose into the back of his tanned shoulder, breathing in his scent deeply.

“I love you (Y/N)” your boyfriend whispers, his hand reaching to hold your hand that is tracing his chest. “Thank you for being here.”

You press a soft kiss to his shoulder blade. “Always, JJ,” you tell him earnestly. “I love you more than anything.”

The blonde boy falls asleep in your embrace, feeling truly safe for the first time that day.

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masterlist :)

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Nobody Left Behind

Prompt: So I don't know if you're taking requests? But I just watched Lilo and Stitch for the first time since I got into TSS and I've adopted the headcanon that it is Remus's *favorite* movie (and he's memorized the script) and I love your writing and I'd love to see something angsty involving Remus feeling lonely/unloved by his brother, and maybe Lilo and Stitch is involved somehow. IDK, go wild. (and feel free to ignore this if you aren't taking requests) <3 - anon

it is Le Fluff™ hours my good bitches

Read on Ao3

Warnings: Remus has some abandonment issues, but it’s not too much

Pairings: it is platonic all the way down, babes

Word Count:  2935

Ohana means family.

 Family.

 FamILY.

 What a weird word.

Sometimes it’s the people you’re born with. Well, not ‘with,’ not necessarily, but the people you are born to. A mother, a father, a sister, a brother. Sometimes two mothers, sometimes two fathers, sometimes a different parent. Sometimes two sisters, sometimes two brothers, sometimes a different sibling. Sometimes a mess of assorted people that all share the same blood. A family.

 Remus wasn’t born.

 He was made though, crafted and shaped and born out of the swirling chaos of a child’s mind that didn’t understand the world well enough without other people to help. He remembers getting cobbled together from scraps of thoughts and feelings and morphing them into limbs, into features, into something that vaguely resembled the body of the child he was made to fit. Not the ‘fitting’ was ever his job.

 Just his brother’s.

 Is his brother his family?

 By all accounts he should be, right? A brother is one of those people that are traditionally part of the ‘family’ group, right, someone to laugh with, cry with, fight with, live with. But is Roman really his…brother?

 That’s what they decided to call themselves because nothing else worked. They weren’t really brothers, they were halves. But they weren’t really halves because there was never a whole to begin with.

 The King wasn’t a ‘whole,’ he was…well, he was the King. Half of a king is not a prince. Half of a king is not a duke.

 Half of a king is a mess of blood and bones and viscera dripping off of the end of a Morningstar in the middle of the night when only a destroyed facsimile makes the insanity bleed away just enough to breathe again.

 The closest thing to twins, is what they decided on eventually. They’re twins. One light, one dark. One that marches boldly into danger to confront the wickedness of the world, one that dwells in the shadows and cackles with the demons nipping at his heels. One that loves, one that isn’t loved.

 Sure, they had some things in common. They both loved to fight, hence the scars and the bruises and the wounds that would never, ever heal, the distrust that would never be fixed ever, because the urge to sink their teeth into each other’s necks and rip never went away. They both loved to make, Roman the peaceful lies he tells himself to make up for the gaping wounds Remus leaves as he carves his perfectly tailored destruction. They both love Disney.

 Roman’s made it part of his whole deal as the Prince, he loves Disney. He bursts into song every chance he gets, drags the others in until the Mindscape rings with joyful song and there’s nowhere left for any sadness or darkness. He takes his lessons from it, models himself using the traits of the characters he admires most. Cultivates his art of storytelling, perfect to a tee.

 Remus loves Disney too. Loves how easy it is to twist the lens to distort the image just enough to let the darker parts of the Imagination run wild. What is the real implication of never growing old, never understanding what it means to die? What kind of person curses a ten-year-old boy for being cautious about who he answers the door to? What could the story have been if the prince never comes to save the day?

 When they were smaller it was fine. When they were still getting used to the fact that they weren’t King anymore, they used to sit and watch so many Disney movies. Roman’s favorite was always changing, one week it was Beauty and the Beast, then it was Mulan, then it was Cinderella, it never stayed the same.

 Remus’s was always Lilo and Stitch.

 Roman never understood it, said it was boring, there wasn’t a prince, there wasn’t anything exciting. Remus said that aliens were plenty exciting, thank you very much.

 But they would always watch it. The King wasn’t there anymore, but the prince and the Duke were.

 …when they were smaller, there was one time where the prince wasn’t there at all.

 Remus remembers waking up one day and feeling like he was being Split all over again. The maggots in his bones reached their awful little mouths into his heart and pulled, yanking him all the way across the bed and to the door, howling and screaming for his twin.

 Only to be met with a blank wall.

 He remembers howling at the top of his lungs until Janus had rushed to his side, kneeling down next to him and telling him shh, be quiet, hush now, you’re alright, you’re not hurt. And when he couldn’t explain that he was hurt, half of him was missing, Remus needed to go find him, Janus’s mouth had hardened into a thin line and told him that there wasn’t anything to worry about.

 He remembers thinking that was a lie.

 But it wasn’t. It wasn’t a lie.

 Roman was fine.

 Roman was more than fine, because Roman had a family.

 Roman had Patton, who is the actual manifestation of sunshine and rainbows and loved so much it almost burns. The darkness that wrapped around Remus’s corner of the Imagination screeched and hissed at the very idea of being loved that much, even as part of him strained with all its might to get to it. But Patton would never set foot near this side of the Mindscape.

 Roman had Logan, who represents everything true about the Mindscape, about Thomas, about the world. The reality of things that would never let anything Remus created make it anywhere close to anything important because it was dangerous, it was hurtful, and it was wrong. Logan wouldn’t want anything to do with something so useless.

 And that was okay. Because Roman may have been gone but Remus wasn’t alone. Remus had Virgil, who lived with fear soaking every fiber of his being. Remus had Janus, who wrapped himself in darkness and obscurity and laughed.

 But then Virgil left. And now Roman had Virgil, who used Thomas’s anxieties to keep him safe, to help Roman and the others figure out what to do, how to take care of everybody, and how to make the darkness go away. And Virgil would never willingly sink himself back into the darkness when he’d spent so long clawing himself out of it.

 But that was okay, because Remus had Janus. Janus, who plotted and schemed and smirked at how easily the others were pulled along by his strings, luring them deeper and deeper as Remus readied his Morningstar for the trap to be sprung.

 But then they sprung the trap and everything went wrong.

 Roman didn’t want to fight. He just…he let Remus knock him out and didn’t show up again except to scoff and say he didn’t like him.

 And that was…wrong.

 Because Roman wasn’t supposed to like him but he was never only supposed to not like him. Roman was supposed to declare that he wasn’t welcome and try and slash him with his sword. Roman was supposed to try and banish him from the Mindscape and spit insults at him until he left, cackling all the while. Roman was supposed to hate him.

 But Roman didn’t hate him, he just…he just said he didn’t like him.

 But that was okay, because Janus could just come up with a better plan with him this time. They could do it properly, and Roman would hate him again and it would be back to normal.

 But then Janus left. And now Roman has Janus, who keeps his eyes where the prince’s aren’t, when he can’t see what’s happening or he can’t bear to look, to help Roman figure out what to do when what seems to be happening isn’t anything that the prince is used to dealing with. And Janus would never willingly step away from a place that finally accepted him.

 Roman has them now. Roman has people that chose him. Roman’s family chose him. He chose them. They chose each other.

 Remus’s grip on his Morningstar slackens and the thing falls to the ground with a heavy clunk. He moves numbly through his room until he can fall to his knees on his bed.

 He just came from the living room. They were all there. Roman was talking with Logan, ranting about some new show they were both watching. Janus was in the kitchen with Patton, making something for dinner that everyone—well, almost everyone—could eat. Virgil was on the back of the couch, reaching out for Roman’s shoulder every once in a while.

Remus had waited behind the couch. For someone to sit down, for someone to see him and shriek, or even maybe—just maybe—for someone to ask where he was.

 But no.

 Patton had come over and gently ruffled Virgil’s hair, saying that dinner was ready. Logan and Roman had moved into the kitchen, demanding Janus’s attention and pulling him into their conversation. Virgil had murmured a quiet thank you and Roman had asked him for what?

 “Y’know,” Virgil had said, “for…this.”

 “Of course,” Roman had laughed, the soft rustle of fabric as he probably pulled the emo in for a hug—what did those feel like?— “I should be thanking you?”

 “What for, kiddo?”

 “I dunno, it just…feels like it’s been forever since we’ve all sat down for dinner together.”

 Remus’s chest had started to hurt.

 “The whole family.”

 The whole family.

 Remus’s eyes well up with stubborn tears and he angrily swipes them away, baring his teeth at the memory and focusing intently on the things on the bed. Each hand-stitched, each carefully kept clean.

 His family.

 He reaches out with a shaking hand and tucks the blue frog plushie into the crook of his arm, crawling into the middle of the bed and balancing the purple spider on his shoulder. His hands keep shaking as he wraps the long yellow snake securely around his neck, clutching the head under his chin and nuzzling it protectively. The dark blue cat he holds in his other hand, careful not to tear its tie as he scrunches in on himself.

 Wait.

 Wait.

 Where is it?

 No, no, no, no—

 Remus growls, placing all of his family gently on the floor before all but tearing at his sheets. Where is it, where is it, where is it—his heartbeat starts to rise as his search grows more frantic, where is it, where is it—

 The slightest little puff of red hair and he howls, lunging for it and sweeping it into his lap. He pauses to make sure the lion’s crown didn’t fall off and sighs when he sees it still in place. He sets the lion between his legs and leans over, adjusting everyone back into place and scrunching himself into a ball again. He rubs his nose against the lion’s fur and nuzzles into the soft fabric.

 He’d never be able to forgive himself if he lost them.

 Because Ohana means family.

 Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

——————————————————

There’s a knock on his door.

 Why is someone knocking on his door?

 They knock again.

 Remus looks up, carefully butting the spider out of the way with his head and sitting up. The snake hangs off his shoulder and he lets it, only missing its warmth once the knock sounds again.

 The frog and the cat watch him warily as he climbs out of bed, the lion clutched in his hand.

 The door squeaks slightly as he opens it.

 “So, I’ve got popcorn, I found the weird gummy snakes, and they had this chocolate-covered bacon which we have to try—Remus?”

 Roman?

 Roman stands there, his arms full of snacks and blankets, his head tilted. He glances behind Remus—probably to check something or other—and then back at him.

 “Remus? Are you okay?”

 “Why are you here?” Roman doesn’t like him.

 “It’s movie night, Re, of course, I’m here.” Roman chuckles nervously before taking in his tear-stained face. “Hey, Re, what’s going on? Are you okay? Can I come in?”

 Why is Roman here? Roman has his family, what is he doing here? With Remus?

 “Remus—“ oh, right, Roman’s talking to him—why is Roman talking to him?—in a soft voice now— “Remus, hey, look at me.”

 Remus blinks. Oh. Roman looks concerned now, he’s reaching for him.

 “Hey,” he murmurs as he ruffles Remus’s hair, “what’s going on? Have you been crying?”

 Remus nods dumbly.

 “I’m sorry, Re, can I help?”

 Help? Why does Roman want to help?

 Oh, he’s waiting for an answer.

 “…sure.”

 “Thank you,” Roman says softly, “can I come in?”

 Remus steps aside wordlessly and Roman walks in, pausing when he sees the rest of Remus’s family on the bed.

 “Did you make them?”

 Something dark twists in Remus’s chest as he sees Roman reach for the spider.

 “Don’t.”

Roman backs off, stepping back as Remus snatches up his family and cradles them in his lap, glaring at Roman and curling up on the bed.

 “I won’t, Re, I’m sorry,” Roman says, still speaking softly, “can I sit?”

 “…floor.”

 Roman sits on the floor, setting aside the blankets and snacks, looking up at him. He still looks concerned. Why? Roman doesn’t like him.

 “Why weren’t you at dinner,” he asks gently, “I was worried.”

 Worried? About him? Remus snorts.

 “You had your whole family there,” he spits, “why would you worry?”

 “But you weren’t there,” Roman says like that makes any difference, “so I was worried.”

 Remus shakes his head. Roman doesn’t get it. Roman doesn’t worry about him, he worries about other things. But if Roman wants to know why he wasn’t at dinner, he’ll tell him.

 “I was with my family.”

 Roman’s brow furrows as he glances around again. “…your family?”

 Remus huddles protectively around his family. “Yes. My family.”

 Roman’s eyes widen as he takes in Remus’s posture and how he reacted when Roman asked about them earlier.

 “…are they your family, Remus?”

 “Yes.” He holds them tighter. “I chose them. They won’t leave me. They won’t forget me. That’s what family means.”

 Something crosses Roman’s face and he lets out a wounded noise. Wait. Are they fighting?

 “Wait, Remus,” he murmurs, rising up to his knees, “did you—did you think we forgot you?”

 “You did forget me.”

 “I’m sorry, Remus, I would’ve come to look for you, but I thought—“ Roman shakes his head— “no, it doesn’t matter what I thought. I should’ve come got you, Re, I’m sorry, I—I didn’t mean to leave you behind.”

 Oh.

 “…you didn’t?”

 Roman shakes his head furiously. “No, Remus, I promise. I never meant to leave you.”

 “But everybody leaves me.”

 If possible, Roman’s eyes are now wider and he scrambles for the edge of the bed. “What do you mean, Remus, what do you mean everybody leaves you?”

 “You left. Virgil left. Janus left. Everybody left.” The lion’s mane brushes against his lips as he bows his head. “But not them. They won’t leave me.”

 “Oh, Remus—“

 Something big lunges at him and Remus whimpers, he doesn’t have his Morningstar, he doesn’t want to fight, he doesn’t—he doesn’t—

 What’s happening? He feels warm and he’s being squished and Roman is pressing himself against him and what—what—

 “What’re you doing?”

 “It’s a hug, Remus,” comes Roman’s voice, slightly muffled, from over his shoulder, “I’m hugging you.”

 Oh.

 Oh.

 “R-Ro?”

 “Yeah, Re, I’m here, I’m right here, I won’t forget you, I won’t leave you behind, you’re my brother, you’re my family, I choose you.” Roman’s grip tightens on him and Remus just about gasps. “I choose you and I want you and I like you.”

 Roman…Roman likes him?

 Roman chooses him?

 Roman won’t…leave?

 “No, Remus,” Roman promises as he cautiously asks, “I won’t leave. Not unless you want me to.”

 “No.”

 “Then I’m not going anywhere.”

 That’s it.

 Remus throws his arms around his twin and sobs, cries an entire ocean of tears into his brother’s shoulder because he’s here and he cares and he chose Remus. The darkness shudders as that small part of him surges forward, into Roman’s chest, finding a home in the prince’s heart and languishing in the warmth there.

 “I’m right here, Re,” Roman murmurs, stroking up and down his back, “right here, I’ve got you.”

 The snake drapes itself cautiously over Roman’s shoulder, the spider taking up watch on his knee. The cat and the frog stare at him, making sure he isn’t lying, that he won’t change his mind. The lion, sandwiched between them, feels the reassuring rumble from Roman’s chest and purrs.

 After a long, long time, Remus pulls back a little and scuffs a hand over his nose.

 “…did you say something about chocolate-covered bacon?”

 Roman’s smile lights up.

 “Let’s put on Lilo and Stitch and we’ll try it.”

 Ohana means family.

 Family means no one gets left behind.

 Or forgotten.

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[mitsukui]

what you do is secret | f.w.

Pairing: Fred Weasley x female reader.

Summary: Fred is caught red-handed ━ based off this request I got! It was supposed to be a blurb, but I got a bit carried away, heh.

Word Count: 1,8k of pure smut (I FEEL NASTY).

Warnings: smut! Masturbation and oral sex (male receiving both). I imagined it taking place on April 5, 1996, during the Easter holiday, right before Fred and George left Hogwarts, so all characters are 18+!

Disclaimer: none of the pictures used in the edit below belong to me; I simply put them together.

A/N: thank you so much for the request, anon! Please, leave me some feedback if you feel like it! My askbox is open for your opinions, thoughts and requests. Thank you so much for your time and attention ❤

Masterlist!

Your ears perked up as you heard something that sounded quite novel to you. You leaned in closer to the wooden door and pressed your ear against the cold surface, your hand being placed right beside your face.

Loud whines and shaky sighs echoed in one of the Gryffindor dorms - the one that belonged to Fred Weasley and four other boys. You worriedly furrowed your eyebrows together, fearing for the worst. It was impossible for you to know who was on the other side of the door, yet you could not leave someone there, to suffer somehow.

You had gone to Fred's dorm to ask him if he wanted to do something together before the Easter holiday was over, especially because you both had recently turned eighteen, but still had not gotten the chance to celebrate it. However, you now stood with a heavy heart inside your chest.

Until you heard it.

Fred moaned huskily and, if your ears were not playing tricks on you, you could swear your name left his lips, too. A trail of lustful whimpers continued flourishing between the walls of his dorm, and you continued there, behind the door, listening to him.

It was deliciously intoxicating. By now, it was pretty clear what he was doing, but you did not feel bothered by it one bit. In fact, you felt pretty honored to become aware of the fact that you occupied his mind even in moments like that one.

A smirk flashed across your face and you leaned in even further towards the door, trying to destroy the only thing existing between the two of you. Your insides started to tingle, and a feeling that you had never experienced before took shape in your loins.

Closing your eyes, you attempted to imagine what Fred looked like at that moment. You had never seen him completely naked before, which meant you could allow your imagination to run wild and, oh boy!, you did it.

The image of him being shirtless popped into the back of your mind, and a dreamy sigh escaped your lips. That was a sight you were used to, not that you had any complaints about it. His milky skin with a constellation of numerous tiny freckles became vivid in your head, and you could see all of his muscles. His veins were there, too, leading down to the place you wanted to see the most.

Your eyelashes fluttered and you pressed your thighs together, the new sensation sinking in your body. Suddenly, it all became too much for you. You could not stand in silence there and only listen.

The wooden door was gently pushed, scaring Fred being the last item on your list of intended actions, and your curious eyes fell upon the stone eyes first and then, upon him.

He was the only one in the boys’ dormitory, his body spread on his bed. One of his hands was wrapped around his cock while the other held tightly on his sheets. His eyes were closed, his lips were slightly parted and his eyebrows furrowed in pleasure.

Fred Weasley had been dominated by a huge pang of crave for you.

Everything you did was magical to him. He spent many hours wondering how someone could be so seductive without even noticing. The way you licked your fingers after eating something with your own hands, the habit you had of biting down on your lower lip, the breathy sighs that escaped from you every single time his lips brushed against your skin, the urgency you had to dig your nails onto his skin whenever he kissed your neck.

He was unable to look at you and not feel the need to pleasure himself.

Almost like you were in a trance, you stood still and watched him quietly. Your eyes captured every movement he made: his hand moving up and down, his grip on the sheets becoming tighter each second, his chest rising and then falling again, his toes curling, his hips bucking up, his tongue wetting his lips, and his Adam’s apple moving roughly every time he cursed out in lust.

You felt like a new world had been discovered, and you wanted to dive right into it. Your body had been taken by a billion of unprecedented jitters and you ached to do something about it. Nothing had ever happened between you and Fred until that very moment, but you were determined to change that.

Tiptoeing your way to his bed, you fought against the enormous need to immediately touch him. It was not like you knew what to do, but copying his actions seemed to be a good idea, once he was moaning repeatedly now.

“You look so hot right now.” Even though your voice came out as a silky whisper, he still got a tad startled. He opened his eyes to find you approaching him to down on his bed, extremely close to his trembling. Almost choking on his own breath, he tried to cover himself and come up with an explanation for what was happening, but you shushed him with a brief peck.

“Don’t stop.”

He felt as if he had heard incorrectly, but then nodded obediently and his hands started pumping his shaft again. As much as you wanted to continue looking at him and to study his face contorting in pleasure, what was going on down there was so much more interesting.

So you did. You looked at his cock. More precum leaked from his reddish tip, a new desire from being watched appearing in his groins, and was soon spread all over his member by the way his hand traveled all the way up and then down again. He kept a rapid pace, a very light pressure being put on his movements.

“Go slower.” You spat out of nowhere, a little dominant creature coming to life inside you. Perhaps, you were not experienced enough to touch him. You surely knew how to use your words, though. “Go very, very slow and use your other hand to run your fingers across your tip.”

At first, neither of you knew what had gotten into you. But it was obvious you two were enjoying it.

He followed your commands and cried out loud at the sensation of his sensitive being touched. His hips bucked up, and your hands all of a sudden pushed them down. Your warm touched caused him to squirm.

“Yes, just like that, Freddie.” You cooed and let one of your hands to run over his flexed abs. Just then you noticed how tense he was, and how he had been breathing heavily. “You okay? You seem a little bit tense…”

He chuckled at your oblivion for sexual matters, which only turned him on even more, and spoke through weak murmurs. “Yeah, it’s just that I’m close, you know? About to cum.”

“So I want you to stop, Freddie.” You placed your hand over one of his and gave it a light squeeze. He looked confused for one second, a thin layer of sweat covering his forehead. But he did not follow your orders this time; he continued stubbornly moving both of his hands, the fast pace returning to his actions.

“But I’m so close, princess. Just let me cum, please, I’m really close.”

“Stop.” Your voice sounded slightly strict, and he groaned in ecstasy. This side of yours was completely new to you two, but the effect was much bigger on him.

Once his hands were no longer moving according to his pleasure, you took his lips on yours and kissed him slowly. You moved your tongue sloppily, your teeth grazing his lip ever so softly, and your fingers roaming his body.

Your kisses were not exactly the most innocent thing in the universe at that moment, and he still whined from time to time, asking to continue his little game.

“Go on, Freddie, touch yourself for me.”

A moan escaped his lips and, as soon as he wrapped his shaft around his fingers again, you lightly ran over fingers over his tip. He arched his back and murmured for you to continue.

“Do you like that?” Fred panted and tried to form coherent sentences to answer you properly, but he was only able to whimper and nod his head. “Does it feel good?” He repeated his actions from seconds before and you smiled, looking back at him for the first time after a while.

Boldly, you placed your hand over his and mimicked the way he caressed his cock. A pool of arousal was being gathered on your panties, and you pressed your thighs together again, trying to get some relief. His eyes captured your actions and he loved discovering he had some sort of effect on you. The pleasure within him was growing to be too much again.

“Princess, please. I’m close.”

But you stopped again. An utter frustration painted his insides and he groaned loudly. A light pain was felt by him, and Fred pleaded you to let him cum. You shook your head sweetly, and explained to him you were mesmerized by the show.

“Let’s try this one more time, shall we?”

Now you positioned yourself between his legs and, for the first time since it had started, you felt a wave of anxiety playing with your heart. You had never done anything like that before, but there was something about the position that Fred was in that really tempted you.

“Can you guide me through it?”

If he was not so painfully aroused, he would have grabbed your face and littered a ton of kisses on it. But he had other cravings at that moment, and it was high time he acted on them.

“Start by using your tongue, princess.”

It was turn to follow orders and you did it amazingly well. In a very short period of time, he was close to reaching his so postponed orgasm and you wanted to see what it would result in.

After his requests, you did not stop. You kept on using your tongue, hollowing your cheeks and moaning against his cock. But you acted painfully slow, frustration growing inside him again. He felt humiliated, ready to feel his warm tears stinging and staining his cheeks.

And then, it happened. You felt the warm strings of his release exploding in your mouth. You tasted his cum and, even though it was not the most pleasant thing that had laid on your tongue, you enjoyed it enormously.

He needed a minute or two to return from his high and, when he did, his cheeks were flushed and his eyes glistened a bit. As you swallowed his cum, secretly wondering if you had done the right thing, he cleared his throat, and groaned one final time.

“How about I take care of you now, princess?”

[bruhlsbees]

behind the mask ; 1/2 || baron helmut zemo x fem!reader

summary: helmut comes home late and for some reason won't take his mask off

pairing: baron helmut zemo x fem!reader

word count: 2,621

warnings: a little bit of dark zemo, smut, helmut wears his mask when y'all do the do, 18+, minors dni, nsfw

a/n: this is something i whipped up on my phone last night! i'm getting my internet hooked up today so i'll be posting bigger chapters again soon!! :) thank you all for being patient, hope you enjoy!

You hadn’t seen Helmut all day. You knew that he had some business he was attending after, but you didn’t realize it would take him this long.

For dinner you made a classic Sokovian dish with lots of meat and sauce that made the kitchen smell extremely savory. You knew that Helmut enjoyed the classic dishes from his childhood and wanted to make it for him as a surprise.

So yes, you were upset when dinner began to get cold and you ended up eating alone. You had spent all afternoon perfecting it to make sure that it was just the way Helmut remembered it.

You texted him at first, explaining that dinner was ready and that you were waiting for him. No response. You texted him again asking when he would be home. No response. It was the third time you finally called him and when the phone didn’t even ring, simply prompting you directly to his voicemail, you became worried.

Helmut was always attentive over you and your emotions. He knew you didn’t like to be left in the dark and especially tonight you were extra emotional. It had been a hard week for the both of you - living in secrecy after escaping prison, again, often left you both on edge. That’s why you had made the traditional dish that night, to make up for the week.

After putting everything away and taking a shower to clean up, you went into your shared room with Helmut and sat at your vanity, beginning your nightly routine as you got around for bed. Your anxiety overcame your anger as you desperately tried to not think the worst case scenario. Did something happen? Was Helmut in custody again?

Fumbling with your night creme, you sighed at the sight of your shaky fingers plopping the lotion against your face, rubbing it into your skin. It was going on eleven at night now - never has Helmut ever been this late.

As you went to set your night cream back down, the small container it was in fumbled out of your hand and rolled under the vanity.

“Shit!”

Leaning forward, you bent under the vanity and felt around for the container before feeling it in between your fingers, leaning back up to set it down.

When you came up, though, you nearly jumped from your skin at the sight of him behind you.

“Jesus! Helmut! What are you doing?”

Looking at him through the mirror, you saw Helmut behind you - his purple mask pulled over his face and his coat on, the fronts wrapped up to cover himself.

He didn’t say anything, only stared at you, which annoyed you deeply. Shaking your head, you continued to get ready for bed, deciding to just ignore him for the most part.

“Your plate is in the fridge. I already ate.”

Cocking his head to the side, Helmut took a step towards you, still remaining silent. He carefully walked up behind you, reaching over you for your brush that sat on your vanity before sitting up, gently pulling your hair down before beginning to brush out the knots.

Surprisingly to yourself, you kept up the cold shoulder act longer than you expected. You leaned your head back slightly and watched him through the mirror as he continued to run the brush through your hair.

“Where were you?” You finally asked. You would wait to say that you were worried and missed him, holding your affection back while your anger died down. However, it only began to rise again when he still said absolutely nothing, rolling your eyes as you began to stand up.

“I’m not playing whatever game this is, Helmut. I’m going to bed.”

Before you could fully stand up from the bench, Helmut took a step forward, placing his hands on either side of you onto the vanity, trapping you pinned in your spot. Your breath hitched to your throat with how close he was to you so suddenly, his chin resting now on your shoulder.

Slowly you began to sit back down, Helmut moving to the side of you slightly, still looking at you through the mirror in silence, his gloved hand stroking the side of your face, the leather running along your soft skin.

You felt him run his gloved thumb along your bottom lip, the leather grazing your teeth when he swiped it back the other way, this time between your lips. It sent a shiver down your spine at how ominous he was being this evening. He never wore his mask around you, what was this all about?

Looking at him, you shook your head and turned away, the tears now pricking your eyes, “Is there someone else? Do I know her? If there is, just tell me and I’ll go-“

Your words got caught in your throat when you suddenly felt his hand around your neck. He wasn’t choking you, but squeezed the sides of your throat gently, gaining your attention.

Even then, Helmut still didn’t say a word. He simply shook his head and leaned down, pressing his face against the side of your cheek, rubbing his face towards your hair before inhaling the scent of your shampoo.

You heard the quiet moan that came from him, his face pressing harder against your head as he squeezed your throat a little harder - still not enough to cause any pain or discomfort.

God, why did he have to do this now? When you were trying so hard to be angry with him?

Your eyes lulled shut when you felt his hand slip down from your neck and under your robe, squeezing your left breast until he heard you moan before pinching and pulling at your nipple.

As your head fell back, feeling his face press against your chest where your heart was, you ran your hand up his back and towards the back of his neck, grabbing at the bottom of his mask to lift up before he suddenly caught your wrist.

When he pulled away from you, holding your delicate wrist in his grasp, he looked into your eyes and shook his head, eyes crinkling as he smiled under his mask.

You smiled weakly back, closing your eyes when his free hand came up to stroke the side of your face. When he stopped, you opened your eyes and watched as he motioned for you to get on the bed.

Standing up, you went toward the bed before feeling him grab your waist, spinning you around to face him. At first you were confused, maybe you got the wrong message? He shook his head, reaching down to pull the string of your robe until it opened, revealing your naked body before he pushed the robe off your shoulders, letting it land on the floor.

You stood in your spot while he grabbed at you again, fondling your breasts and playing with your hair before he brought his right hand up to your mouth, wiggling his fingers for you to pull his glove off with your teeth.

Blushing, you leaned forward and kept your eyes locked on his as you gently bit down on the middle finger, pulling the glove off slowly before letting it hang from your teeth. Helmut smiled and reached forward, stuffing the glove into your mouth until your cheeks protrude out.

He took the other one off himself, letting it fall on the ground with your robe before turning you around, guiding you to the bed where he helped you on, placing you on your hands and knees. Helmut smiled at your position, his right hand coming up to cup your ass before giving it a good squeeze, bringing his hand back to smack you, leaving a red handprint against your flesh.

You moaned through the glove, your front half falling into the mountain of pillows you had on the bed, your ass sticking out still. Closing your eyes, you heard his light steps walk around you. You assumed he was now getting undressed.

And he was. Carefully taking off his clothes and stuffing them in his hamper, not wanting you to see the blood on his clothes that he hid under his jacket. Keeping the mask on, he headed back toward the bed, his now hard cock standing up as he knelt behind you, grabbing your hips to guide you back so when it was time, he could thrust into you easy.

But he didn’t want to jump into it just yet. He wanted to watch you squirm, forget how angry you were at him only seconds ago as your brain began to cloud over with lust. Helmut massaged your hips, rolling his hands up your back to massage your shoulders until he felt your muscles soften.

He couldn’t hear what you had said - your voice muffled by the glove that gagged your mouth, but Helmut assumed you were growing frustrated by the teasing he was doing, as the two of you hardly did any foreplay.

Taking his dick into his hand, Helmut leaned forward until he felt the tip slightly sink into you, the wetness already too much for him. How was he going to last?

Helmut let out a low grunt before rubbing his dick against you, letting your wetness coax over him before he couldn’t wait any longer and pushed himself deep into you.

You moaned out against the glove, your hands squeezing the pillows as he began to pump inside of you, the only sound filling the room was his hips slapping against yours and your own wetness.

It became intoxicating so fast, drool beginning to slip out of the corner of your mouth and roll down your chin and onto the pillows.

At the sound of your moans, Helmut only quickened his pace, reaching forward to grab your hair, pulling it so you arched your back more, head tilted up towards the ceiling.

With his free hand, Helmut reached around and took the glove from your mouth, massaging your jaw before his hand fell further down, cupping your left breast. He missed hearing you say his name, begging him to cum deep inside of you.

He could his own dick twitching inside of you, your walls clenching tight around him until it became almost unbearable.

“Please, Helmut...please cum in me. I want to take it all.” You whined out, pressing yourself further into his hips as his thrusts became more jagged and harder.

It came as a surprise when he heard you suddenly cry out, collapsing forward as your own climax began to leak around him, sticking to his pelvis as he continued to rut inside you.

Feeling light headed, Helmut pulled the mask off his head, tossing it to the ground before wiping his forehead, pushing his hair back before gripping your hips again.

“You’re mine.” He said suddenly, catching your attention and a faint whimper.

“I’m yours.” You whispered, feeling your stomach flip again, your second orgasm rising.

He slapped the sides of your ass, squeezing at the pillowy flesh as he dug his fingers into you.

“That’s right. And you’re the only one for me. So don’t ever fucking think I’m off fucking some other bitch. You hear me? You’re the only one I’m stuffing my dick inside.”

His words, while not cruel, were much harsher than usual. You nodded and let

your head fall forward, biting down on your bottom lip as you felt him lean forward and kiss your back. You smiled at the feeling of his lips on you, his tongue occasionally tracing shapes into your back before biting into you.

Helmut knew he was about to cum and he adjusted his position behind you, his knees shifting until he was pressed against you more. You heard him say a string of words in Sokovian, not sure what exactly, before he thrust one final time in you, keeping himself buried deep inside of you as he spilled in you.

Your second orgasm came only moments later, your body falling forward on the bed, panting as you tried desperately to catch your breath.

Panting himself, Helmut wiped his forehead with the back of his hand again before gently pulling out, the mix of both of your orgasms spilling out.

“Don’t move, I’ll be back”

He carefully got off the bed and went into the bathroom, finding a rag and getting some water on it before turning to the bedroom, sitting on the bed as he gently wiped you clean, knowing how sensitive you’d still be down there.

When he finished with you, he attended to himself, wiping himself off before tossing the rag on the ground with the rest of your dirty clothes that you had left out. He could only chuckle at the sight, noticing how different the two of you were, yet fit so well together.

You rolled onto your back and sat up, moving on your knees to sit behind him, wrapping your arms around his neck. You kissed his shoulder and up his neck before catching a dark bruise on his face. Carefully taking his face, you moved and tilted his head towards you, seeing dark bruises and cuts scattered across his face.

He frowned and dropped his head at the sound of your gasp, knowing that you would only be worried now.

“What happened? Who did this to you? Did this happen while you were out? Why didn’t you call?” Your questions came out so rapidly that Helmut didn’t know how to process them. Taking your hands off his face, he kissed your fingers before looking up at you.

“Business just didn’t go well today, that’s all. I’m okay now though, I’m back home with you,” You opened your mouth to speak and he quickly shushed you, “Calling you would not have helped. I don’t want you near these people. Okay? James...he came and helped me. I know we agreed to not contact anyone we know, but I knew James would help.”

You didn’t know what to say. It was all a lot to wrap your brain around. What mattered most was that he was home and safe with you now.

Leaning forward, you kissed him gently, not wanting to hurt him. “I’m glad you’re okay now,” You whispered, “I’m sorry for thinking you were seeing someone. For being so rude when you got home.”

He shook his head and kissed you again, pulling away shortly after, “You don’t need to apologize. I’m not angry.” He pulled you into his lap, holding you close while his head rested in the crook of your neck.

You ran your fingers through his hair, feeling his breathing steady against your skin. “Are you hungry? Why don’t you go eat and then we can head to bed?”

You were a little surprised when he hugged you closer, becoming a little more grabby than usual, “No...” he insisted, “I just want to lay with you, fall asleep in your arms.”

Smiling, you nodded and kissed the top of his head, pulling away to stand up and go turn off the light. When you came back to the bed, you crawled under the covers with Helmut, opening your arms for him to curl up into you.

As you rubbed his neck and back, kissing the top of his head, you smiled gently as you felt yourself grow tired.

“You know, maybe when you aren’t trying to hide your injuries from me again, you can put the mask on when you fuck me. I kinda liked it.”

You felt his smile grow against your skin before he looked at you, taking his left hand to your face, embracing you.

“Or maybe next time you can wear it.”

[stylesberries]

Vegan Cupcakes

Summary: You and Harry have been quarantined together and he needs space.

Genre(s): angst (happy ending)

Word Count: 3.2k

Warning(s): angsty stuff, ~foul language~

You and Harry have been quarantined together for several months now and, despite the difficulty and the severity of the situation, you as a couple are having the time of your lives.

Harry was definitely disappointed and upset about not being able to go touring with Fine Line, but the second he heard the news he thought of you.

He has been donating a lot of money and supplies for those in need of it or unemployed while you took your university classes online.

Spending most of the spring together didn’t feel as suffocating for Harry as summer did. Your classes were over and you didn’t take a summer semester, so your time fully revolved around him. Which he liked.

In the beginning.

Until you clung on him like a koala for days and made him cuddle you all the time, which he enjoyed a lot until it became a routine. Harry couldn’t even tell you how he felt because it would hurt your feelings, so he didn’t say anything at all, keeping it all to himself.

“Baby?” You call for him from the kitchen.

Harry rolls his eyes as you, once again, interrupted his flow of thoughts. He gets up from the couch he was laying on peacefully before and walks towards the kitchen, where you are standing holding up a paper so big it covers your whole face.

“Yes?” Harry asks, trying his best not to come out too rough. You placed the paper on the kitchen island in front of you to look up at Harry. You didn’t pay close attention to his annoyance; you were too busy brainstorming what proportion of flour to sugar to take for your vegan cupcakes.

“Harry, do you think I should take 1:2? Like twice as much flour? Or do you want the cupcakes to be sweeter?” Harry watched you ramble, crossing his arms, feeling ~this~ close to bursting. “Or do you think the cupcakes shouldn’t be that sweet because they’ll have sweet icing on top?” You ket throwing question after question at your fuming boyfriend, still oblivious of his irritation.

“Or maybe we should make them both mildly sweet?” Shut up.

“They will be chocolate anyway, right?” Shut up.

“Would you prefer dark chocola-”

“Y/N, shut up already! Can you stop fucking rambling? My head is going to explode from your talking.” Harry explodes, not letting you finish your question, the excited smile leaving your face.

You felt your head being squeezed from sides, pressure increasing at your temples.

“What?” You ask, hoping that you misheard him, knowing deep down that you didn’t because the Harry you knew and loved would never say such a hurtful thing.

“I said shut up. My brain is buzzing from your talking. Do whatever you fucking want.” Harry said and walked out of the kitchen before you could say something to him.

Thinking that he probably isn’t in a good mood and certainly needs space from your rambling you stay back in the kitchen and go back to your recipe with a broken heart and wet eyes. Your hands shake as you brought the paper back up to your face, failing to read any of the words and measurements through a layer of tears that were collected in your eyes.

Even when you were fighting he had never said anything so mean to you before, especially after he found out that your whole life people have been discouraging you from talking, so you closed off and spoke up only when you were directly called out for not saying anything. It took Harry a couple of months to finally get you to open up to him and talk to him without feeling guilty for it. He used to love it when you rambled on and on about things you’re passionate about. At least that’s what you thought.

You spend the next hour making the batter for your cupcakes and baking them, which only took about fifteen minutes. You felt encouraged to go up to Harry when you smelled the chocolate cupcakes fresh out of the oven.

“I’ll put a couple on a plate.” You spoke to yourself placing the freshly baked cupcakes on Harry’s favorite flower plate. “Just like that.”

Talking to yourself was a way you brushed your nervousness and anxiety away. Harry would catch you talking to your reflection millions of times, just standing and secretly watching you sometimes with a wide smile plastered on his face.

You placed the plate on the tray you brought from your trip to Italy and poured Harry some black coffee, placing it next to the warm plate. You picked the tray up and walked out of the kitchen, making sure to watch your elbows at the doorway.

Making your way towards the living room, where you expected Harry to be, you spotted no grumpy boyfriends there.

“He’s probably in the studio.” You spoke to yourself, refusing to let Harry’s bad mood discourage you.

Harry would rarely hide from you in the studio when you’re fighting, usually he would face you and solve the issue before it grows and hurts you even more, so it was unusual for him to run off there.

You brushed the thought off and watched towards the studio door. As you walked closer you could hear Harry talking to someone, but knowing that there is no one home except you two, you understood that he’s talking on the phone with someone. You stood at the door, turning to the side to place the tray on the floor, freeing your hands to turn back to the door and knock, as you didn’t want to interrupt any important calls or interviews that Harry could have with your talking.

Before your knuckles hit the door, you heard Harry’s voice.

“Man, I mean she’s always next to me. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t wait for her to go back to uni for me to get some air.” Harry whines. Your heart stops before going back to beating at a higher rate, full of anxiety.

“Yeah, right! It just feels as if she’s been dreaming of being touchy-feely with someone and now that I’m finally home she can’t get herself off of me.” Harry kept stabbing your heart and laughed at something the person on the phone said.

With every word, you felt more and more empty. You started walking away from the door, bending over to take the tray with yourself not to leave any traces behind.

How could he say something like that?

I thought he loved me.

You didn’t know what you were doing. Your legs moved on their own and you just followed along, tears leaking from your eyes’ inner corners, tracing a way down to your chin. The salty trail wasn’t getting a chance to dry as new tears followed the same path as the ones before did.

When your body reached the kitchen your shaking hands placed the tray on the counter, Harry’s coffee slightly spilling on the tray.

Pain.

Never before have you thought than sadness could physically hurt so much; it hurt like a bitch.

You placed the tray on the table for Harry to find later and walked out of the kitchen to go back to your bedroom to cry in your pillow while he keeps complaining about you to his friend.

Harry came to bed in a couple of hours closer to the evening after looking for you all over the house to apologize for his rough words. When he saw you laying on your side of the bed, your knees pushed up to your chest, the duvet hardly doing its job keeping you covered and warm, he felt guilt running through his veins.

Walking up to his side, pressing a knee on the mattress first, Harry scooted over to you and pulled the duvet to cover you up. He let his arm stay on the duvet wrapping around your fragile form. He moved his upper body closer to yours, his chest pressing against your duvet-covered back.

“Baby?” Harry spoke softly, cautious not to wake you up. When no answer followed he frowned and positioned his face into the crook of your neck, pressing kisses on your neck.

“I’m sorry about earlier, baby. I was very mean to you.” He spoke against your soft skin. “I shouldn’t have exploded like that. It wasn’t fair to you.”

Harry’s apologies kept following one after another and you stayed silent, keeping your act on. You would’ve believed every word of his if only you haven’t heard him say the things he said about you to someone else.

You kept your eyes closed. Harry’s apologies subsided as he slowly fell asleep cuddled into your back. You stayed up that night, tears pooling in the corners of your eyes. You wished for the pain inside to leave with your tears but it stayed, eating you from inside, until sunrise when you fell asleep from the emotional exhaustion.

When you woke up, Harry was no longer lying next to you and you were thankful for it. You really hoped that he wouldn’t bring yesterday up, even though you knew he would because he never got to apologize to you awake.

Your stomach growled and you remember that you never got to have dinner the day before, falling asleep drowning in your own sadness.

You quickly got up to sneakily walk down to the kitchen, but you were disappointed to have smelled Harry’s signature chocolate waffles in the air. With your shoulders slumped in defeat you walked down the stairs towards your kitchen.

As you walked through the doorway of the kitchen you saw Harry placing the brown waffles onto serving plates and adding sliced strawberries on top. You stopped your heart from fluttering because you, unfortunately, knew more than you’d prefer to know about how your boyfriend actually feels about you.

Harry felt someone’s eyes on him and turned around to be greeted by your indifferent self. He felt his heart sink as he read the hurt from the day before engraved on the surface of your face. Harry kept fidgeting about the table trying to let you pass to sit in your place next to him and placed the plate of waffles in front of you.

“I made you your favorite, baby.” He spoke unsure of how you would react to any words that left his mouth.

You fought the desire to bite into the warm chocolate waffles that your belly was craving after crying all night long and being left hungry for so many hours and walked up to the counter to get yourself a couple of your ill-fated cupcakes.

You couldn’t see Harry’s head lowering as you dashed his hopes to make it better. Little did Harry know you weren’t upset about his outburst about the cupcakes yesterday, so a couple of waffles won’t help to glue together the ruins of your heart that he shattered.

As you bit into the cupcakes, you stood at the counter facing away from the table, Harry took no bites of his breakfast, staring at your back helplessly. Suddenly he felt small and didn’t know what to do.

“I’m sorry about yesterday, Y/N. I acted like a piece of shit. You don’t deserve to be treated like that.” His lips moved as his eyes watched your back for any reaction coming from you, his voice coming out soft and weak.

You stood there, your eyes glossy and your lips curving down in a frown, as you fought back the tears. Harry doesn’t have a single idea of how much pain he’s caused you and how none of these stupid apologies will ever fix the cracks that he left in your heart. You looked over your shoulder at Harry’s similar-to-yours state and hesitated whether or not to open up to him. Harry looked into your eyes with his and held a breath, hoping that you would figure things out. Your eyes broke the eye contact by looking down and speaking up.

“It’s okay.” You spoke and abandoned your plate, walking out of the kitchen, Harry’s eyes observing your every movement.

For the next couple of days, you stayed away from Harry and things were pretty cold between you. Harry would come up to you every day trying to apologize but you wouldn’t let him finish any of those times, leaving the room right away. Hurt was eating you from inside and you didn’t care what he had to say. Harry chose to sleep in the guest bedroom not to make you uncomfortable and you thanked him for it.

As time went by, you cooled down and felt better yourself. Harry gave you all the space you needed and it helped your healing process. You still hurt but you could talk to him now at least. Things went back to normal in most ways except one: you would stop yourself from expressing any kind of affection to Harry and he wouldn’t say anything but it drove him insane. He didn’t know why you wouldn’t kiss or snuggle him like you used to. You also started talking less because of your fight and Harry noticed every single change in your behavior and beat himself up for it.

“Y/N.” Harry walked into the bedroom with an i-can’t-do-this-anymore face on. Your eyes had to abandon the indulging book you were reading as Harry closed the door behind him, which meant he was determined to finally face the difficulty of the situation. Noticing the mood in the room change to a serious one, you placed the book on the bedside table and crossed your legs under the duvet, focusing all of your attention on your restless boyfriend with arms crossed.

“Mhm?” You ask, waiting for him to spit out whatever he’s been putting aside for almost two weeks.

“I’m sorry for that fight, okay? I really am, sweetheart. You haven’t been the same since then and it scares me. I didn’t mean to go off at you like that. You didn’t deserve it at all. I was exhausted and felt shitty myself and took it out on you. It’s not an excuse to yell at you and be so mean, I understand and I’m sorry, beautiful. It was a mistake and it won’t happen again, I promise. Please forgive me, Y/N.” Harry spoke so desperately, his emotions all over the place. He started gesticulating, which you knew meant that he was anxious and frustrated.

“I’m not mad at that, Harry. I forgave you.” You spoke the truth; Harry looked at you with even more frustration behind his now-glossy eyes.

“But you don’t even touch me anymore! You don’t kiss me! You don’t even want to be near-” Harry lets all of his insecurities out, oblivious to the flow of your own that you prepare to pour on him. You couldn’t sit there and listen to him accuse you of being neglectful towards him so you broke in to speak yourself.

“You don’t want me to be around you anymore! You said that yourself! You-you said-” Your voice cracks as tears build up in the corners of your eyes. It became hard to talk. “-said I’m always next to you and you need some space from me always being there.”

The tears that were collecting in your eyes were streaming down your cheeks, Harry’s glance reflecting off of them. Harry couldn't understand what you were referring to but kept listening to you.

“And you didn’t even have the guts to tell me yourself. You whined about how annoying I am to your friend, embarrassing me. It’s supposed to be something kept between us two, not discussed with your friends.” Every word stabbed his heart in same places as it did yours.

Harry’s mind went straight to the call you were talking about. He felt his intestines turn into a knot inside of him, causing him to feel nauseous. He felt like an asshole. It was fair because he was one indeed.

I hurt her.

You don’t want to be around me anymore.

Does she really think that?

You need space from me.

My baby. My angel.

What a fucking piece of shit am I to hurt my precious love like this.

You saw right through Harry’s sudden self-hatred despite the two layers of salty tears between your eyes and his.

“I’m so sorry.” Harry’s apologies filled the room, as pain continued to fill his soul.

“I hurt you. I’m so fucking sorry. It was so wrong to share something so personal with anyone except you. I didn’t even know what I was saying. I can’t live without you.” Harry’s cries became louder and louder as his regret first doubled and then tripled in size. “Your hands, your lips, your beautiful eyes - I can’t live without those things on me constantly. I was such a fool to think that I needed space from you. You’re the love of my life! I love you so fucking much. I’m so fucking sorry, Y/N. I-” Harry's voice was cut by him having to take deep breaths to keep himself together. He placed a hand over his chest breathing in deeply.

You ripped the blanket off of yourself watching Harry closely, getting ready to sprint to his inhaler in case he needs it. Harry saw your reaction to his heavy breathing and rose his hand to gesture that he’s okay. You let out a relieved sign and scooted closer to the end of the bed where Harry stood. When he caught up with his breathing he looked down at you, moving to get on his knees in front of the bed. Harry’s hands flew up to cup your cheeks softly, giving you time to stop him if you wanted to.

“I love you so much, baby. I can’t express how sorry I am to hurt you so much. I don’t need any space from you. I can’t function properly without you on me all the time, without you wrapped in my arms.” Harry spoke and tears kept running down his face. You watched his eyes jump from one side of your face to the other, trying to absorb every single line and curve of your face.

“Fuck, I’ve missed looking at you so fucking much,” Harry speaks up, his face frowning as new tears start flowing out of his eyes. The frown on Harry’s face became more prominent as he understood the severity of the pain he had caused you.

”It’s all my fault.” Harry cries, hiding his face in the crook of your neck, your arms wrapping around him. “I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

Harry kept apologizing the whole night and many days after, not letting you walk further than an arm length away from him. It took him a lot of effort to kick the insecurities that he birthed out of your head, but he kept proving himself to you over and over again.

He is an arrogant son of a bitch, but nonetheless he loves you more than himself.

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