#given fan fiction
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ajwinter-is-a-nerd · 2 years ago
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Deadman's Stand In
A Given Fan Fiction
Okay, so I have been extremely sick this week and watched Given and read the manga and have not yet recovered from the intense level of angst I feel from this show. So I wrote a fanfiction to help me deal with some of my unresolved feelings.
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Summary:
Post anime, within the final chapters of the Manga.
Uenoyama deals with the fact that he doesn’t feel like his own person. His friendships and relationship currently revolve around him being a shadow of who Yuki used to be.
This FF focuses on Uneoyama's hurt that I didn't feel were acknowledged enough. The feelings of inadequacy, of being second strung, and just so fucking hurt that you can’t figure out what to do because the person you love won’t talk to you and… who do you have left?
Charcoal clouds covered the night sky, their dull grey reflected in glacier blue eyes. If he stared intently enough, perhaps he’d see the reminiscent twinkle of a far off star. 
His forlorn sigh fogged up the glass before him. With a click of his tongue he let out a wry laugh. The irony of the ghost-like image was not lost on his train of thoughts. Blowing on the glass, he enlarged the opaquing white. 
Before he wrote his message onto glass, his phone started buzzing once again. Dejected, he decided he should finally answer it. 
“Dude, are you okay?” Haruki forever played the role of band mother. 
“I was just about to head to bed. Why?” Uenoyama forced his throat to swallow the growl that was clawing at the surface.
“This new song… it… are you and Mafuyu… okay?” 
Uenoyama knew that the first line of worry would be the band. It was his and Mafuyu’s promise going into it, of course. They knew there would be problems, but they’d get through them together. Or, so he thought.
The reality, though, is everytime Uenoyama struggles, with himself or in the relationship, Mafuyu pulls away. He doesn’t know where to turn to, who to talk to. All of his friends are Mafuyu’s friends now too, and they might be even worse, at times.
“We’re the same as last week.” Uenoyama squeaked his finger through the lingering blur of white. “As far as I know, at least.” 
“I’m just saying… this song… it’s, it’s amazing!” 
Uenoyama could practically see Haruki frantically waving his hands, as if his own words had lit a fire before his face.
“Were you and Akihiko able to layer your parts then?” Uenoyama assumed that they would organize it together. They basically lived and breathed each other, Uenoyama doubted Haruki even hit play before sharing an earbud with his boyfriend. It must be nice to be connected to someone like that. 
“Oh, uh, Akihiko is working on his part right now… but it’s… do you think Mafuyu will want to sing to this beat? Isn’t it usually, um, backwards? From how you guys usually do it? Has he started his la-la-la’s and udon noo-oodles yet?” 
“It can be a demo or an extra track. I don’t… I don’t really want him to know about this one, okay?” Uenoyama clenched his eyes shut, the reality blinding. “At least not until it’s done.”
“NO! You two aren’t breaking up are you? What happened?! I told you this would happen! Ugh what were we thinking?” His voice trailed to a muffled mumble.
“We’re the same as last week, I already told you.” Uenoyama breathed against the window pane to reanimate his colouring board. 
“You both seem off…” 
“Are you coming to my show?” Uenoyama diverted courses. He didn’t want to talk about his relationship anymore. A part of him hoped he could actually just discuss music with Haruki, but nothing’s ever quite that easy. 
“Yeah, of course.” There was a distant sadness that carried through the phone. 
“Is Mafuyu coming with you?” Uenoyama cursed his chest for the sudden spike in his heart rate.
He always held onto the hope that Mafuyu would come, would take initiative to mend what keeps falling into oblivion. 
“Oh, I - uh - I don’t know?”
But he never does.
“Wouldn’t you know, Uenoyama?”
Because as much as Mafuyu sees fragments of his reflection. 
“Hello?”
Uenoyama can never be Yuki.
-
Tears dotted the page as he focused on the missing pieces. Of course Hiiragi would ask him to finish the song. He has the one piece that the others don’t. 
He’s writing about the man he loves.
From the inspiration of a lost soul. 
Uenoyama might have been able to say no, but he didn’t want to risk losing this gig. In reality, probably the only reason they brought him on was because of his relationship with Mafuyu. They’ve told him between jokes and sets how much he reminds them of Yuki.
So he keeps his head down. And he keeps writing. It’s not hard to see what Yuki saw in him. His sparkling eyes that soak in the world around him. So fragile yet so insurmountable at the same time. He just wishes that the first time he brought these words to paper, they could really be played from his heart. 
Instead they go through the filter of what Yuki would have thought. How he would have sang. 
Uenoyama spent countless hours researching the man and the music. 
Mafuyu only ever looks at Uenoyama like that when he plays guitar.
Those must be the moments he’s most reminded of Yuki.
-
No matter the season, the sun basks through the windows, warming the platform of the stairs. Uenoyama collapses towards the surface, his body starting to fail him. His brain is fogged, his movements languid, even his breath is raspy. 
The crashing descent from his knees to his hips, to his chest, is barely noticed as his body lingers in the first stage of sleep.
His brain has been on overdrive, writing Yuki’s love song. Part of him hopes that Mafuyu will hear it and finally see Uenoyama through the shards. But that doubt fuelled the rhythm of the song in Haruki’s possession. 
In all likelihood, it was the blend of writing, waiting, and unyielding loneliness that created the concoction of his exhausted state. Not the added half an hour cramming for the test that he’d told himself it was.
As his mind fell deeper into sleep, he could hear Mafuyu’s laugh. Uenoyama squinted to make out the words that started to leave his lips. The sentence was distorted, but the message was clear. ‘I love you’. 
Uenoyama woke in a jolt of sweat, his breath whistling out of his throat. 
“Are you okay?” The voice was as distorted as his vision as tears fell without regard, while his chest heaved in rhythm. “Uenoyama? R-Ritsuka?”
Mayfuyu’s voice sliced through the delirium. 
Uenoyama assumed he must still be dreaming. Sobbing, he dropped his forehead to the ground, and let the pain fall through him. Down to his very toes. Everything hurt.
A gentle hand stroked his hair, but it didn’t stop the pain. Somehow, the realization that this was reality, only made the pain worse.
Is love always this lonely? 
-
I walk the path paved for someone else
Echoes 
Of adoration and laughter
Beloved by all 
Echoes of scars
Against my skin 
Echoes of lips
Stained by tears 
I live as a dead man’s stand in 
“Wh-what is this?” Mafuyu looked up from his phone screen. 
Uenoyama’s brow furrowed as he looked up at his boyfriend then back to Haruki, who’s face set ablaze.
“What?” Uenoyama’s back straightened, as if he already knew the answer. He was carefully setting his guitar beside him, preparing for a fight, a cry, or simply to escape.
“I’m sorry, I - oh no.” Haruki’s voice turned to gravel as he muffled his lips into the palm of his hand.
“Is this… is this how you feel, Uenoyama?” Mafuyu’s eyes teared, his fingers trembled around his phone. 
“I- I’m so sorry!” Uenoyama collapsed to his knees, but Mafuyu was already leaving.
Whenever Mafuyu left it felt as if his heart was being torn out of his chest. But how can you lose someone you never truly had?
-
The spotlights burned his skin as the crowd roared. He prayed that Mafuyu was there. Maybe then he’d understand. He poured his soul into Yuki’s song. For Mafuyu could have his goodbye… so that Mafuyu could have another moment with the one he loved.
Sweat beaded down Uenoyama’s brow as his heart lit aflame. Nothing else mattered. At this moment, on stage, he let out every sour emotion and fragment of dread to burn under the stage lights.
-
Mafuyu ran backstage, headed directly to Uenoyama who slouched happily in his seat. Before Uenoyama could react to the rehead’s presence, Mafuyu gripped the man’s collar in his fist and yelled a proclamation towards him. “I want to sing! And make music with you!”
Uenoyama’s heart pounded in his ears. Did this mean he forgave him? Or was it a shadow of feelings left lingered from Yuki’s song?
“For the rest of my life!” Mafuyu added, the words louder than the amps had been during Uenoyama’s show. 
“Huh?” Uenoyama was lost for words. The battle of mediocrity played in his head as Mafuyu stared into him. Was he honestly seeing him? 
“I promise.” Mafuyu’s grip continued to twist at Uenoyama’s black shirt.
“Sorry… come again?” Uenoyama stammered; he couldn’t comprehend the reasoning behind Mafuyu’s actions. Was he forgiving Uenoyama? Was he apologizing for the distance? Why can’t anything just be clear?!
“I will never let you regret it!” 
The collar on Uenoyama’s shirt threatened to strangle him.
Mafuyu’s eyes were intense, his chest heaving while he kept his face inches from Uenoyama’s. 
“Hold it right there!” Hiiragi screamed. “You… what do you think you’re doing in someone’s dressing room dropping - like - a proposal?” 
Uenoyama met Mafuyu’s weeping eyes. For once, he truly believed, they only saw him. 
“You came.” Uenoyama ignored Hiiragi, speaking to Mafuyu with soft words. His hands worked of their own accord, reaching out for Mafuyu.
“Of course, of course I did.” Tears ran freely as Mafuyu held Uenoyama’s hand against his flushed cheek. 
Biting his own lip, Uenoyama struggled with his own emotional eruption. Mafuyu rarely ever cried off stage. Yet…
“Thank you.” Uenoyama whispered, brushing kisses against shuddering lips as he pulled Mafuyu onto his lap.
“Why? Why did you do that to yourself? Why’d you finish Yuki’s song?” Mafuyu’s voice was hoarse as he fired questions between kisses.
“Because he would have wanted you to hear it.” Uenoyama’s floodgate broke. His tears flowed without regard while his thumb caressed those of his partners.
“You… you…” Mafuyu stammered, drowning under his own tears.
Concerned glacier eyes sparkled under crystal lakes towards Mafuyu, who offered a half smirk in return. He couldn’t respond, instead, the redhead wrapped his legs around Uenoyama as they pushed their foreheads together.
Salty tears of heartache, forgiveness, and understanding.
Tears that belonged to just them. 
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winter-wise · 5 months ago
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so I've found the greatest elden ring fanfic of all time:
Things Tarnished Are No Longer Allowed To Do In The Lands Between
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forktutwtt · 1 year ago
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Fionna and Cake really just went “What if we make Marceline and Bubblegum mortal enemies in a post apocalypse where they constantly try to kill eachother while bantering in the most ridiculously horny way possible?”
And then also said “What if they were men in a normal human world but even gayer, with one as an autistic baker twink and the other as a hot punk rebel? And then they have a plot about both of them sacrificing major opportunities to make the other happy before culminating in them rejecting the shallow capitalist world around them to just appreciate a life they can share and then they kiss as the elevator doors close?”
And then they ALSO said, “What if those were the same episode and we were constantly cutting between the stories at their most dramatic points?”
You see, this is how you do multiversal story telling: Literally just write fan fiction.
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drakulana · 10 months ago
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ok but hear me out.............
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canichangemyblogname · 3 months ago
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Someone on here will see fans organize around raising funds for families in Gaza with fan art and go, “Well… I just have genuine concerns about where the money is going. Also! It’s a copyright violation to monetize fan works! This is threatening our beloved Ao3!!!”
And then a mutual will make a post opening commissions because they’re strapped for cash and they’ll reblog that with comments like, “OMG!!! Everyone help my mutual Ali out!!!”
And you know what I think? You are incapable of seeing the world outside a fandom lens. And your view of the world is racist.
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phantomram-b00 · 11 months ago
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Sometimes I’ll be reading ineffable husbands fanfics and then whenever aziraphale say “I promise I won’t leave your side” and I’m like “oh buddy- OOOH BUDDY” followed by crying for the 19282929th time. nothing lasts forever 🥲
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buddiesmutslut · 6 months ago
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Currently binge watching Ghost Hunters & now my brain is thinking about Ghost!Buck.
I know I’m not the first to think of Buck being in a coma or something & Eddie filling in, but so many of them have Eddie seeing him, I’ve read several fics where they’re linked, but what if Eddie is skeptical abt it??
Therefore; Ghost Buck being jealous about Eddie filling his spot & fucking with him. Moving things, messing with his locker, brushing his hand against Eddie.
Maybe Chris can see him, maybe he can’t, maybe Buck remembers his ghostly activity once he gets out of the coma (bc I can never write an MCD fic) or maybe he doesn’t & it’s just a big unanswered question that Eddie carries with him his whole life, idk, but I can’t get petty, jealous ghost Buck out of my brain 🤣
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uselessgaywhovian · 2 days ago
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if you need me, i'll be researching 19th century blood transfusion
for reasons
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sofiiel · 9 months ago
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𝐌𝐲 𝐍𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐛𝐨𝐫 𝐌𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧 | Fugitive!Eddie x AFABReader
▶▷ Table of Contents:
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CW: Mentions of Childhood Trauma. Supernatural. Weed. Guns. Alcohol. Mentions of low self-esteem (from Eddie). Harassment. Lots of Fluff. Eventual sex / sexual content. Soft!Eddie. Character Death. Semi-Cannon. Slight drama. Hurt/Comfort(?). Slice of life -ish. Slow-going. Possible slow burn. This fic is not pre-planned. I have a bad history of taking actual ages to update (it's an impulse fic, it is written because 'oh an idea' which may mean I lollygag.)
𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬: 1 ▸2▸ (trying to update every friday)
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𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲:
You've lived in your grandmother's house on the edge of Hawkins all your life. The little odd cottage behind the sunflower fields. Most people think your place is abandoned or that some strange old woman lives inside. The rumors around town are endless.
It's a safe place to raise your skittish niece Bea, who is working through trauma. No one draws near your little slice of heaven.
That is until you get an unexpected neighbor on your land.
Eddie Munson has been on the run for the past five years. It takes longer than one would think to clear one's name when made the scapegoat for the government.
Missing home and with news of possible progress, Eddie moves back to Hawkins, staying on the outskirts...on what he believed was vacant land.
There's a silly fuzzy critter stealing fruit from your garden, and he has a doozy of a secret.
...so do you.
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lemonhemlock · 10 months ago
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so, i'm going through your anti team black tag and living my best life, but one post in particular that you made got me thinking.
“george made damn sure rhaenyra’s bloodline sat on the throne at the end bc, if the hightowers won, house targaryen would have been reformed, and he couldn’t kill them all off at the end of the main series”
i'm pretty sure this might've just been a joke, but it makes me curious. do you think something like a targaryen reformation would be possible, hypothetically speaking? i certainly wouldn't mind it in a "greens win" AU scenario, but that's just me. i wanna know if anyone else sees potential in this. 💚💚💚
Hello, yes, this was mostly a joke, as it happens. 😅 (anon is referring to this post) To introduce another lengthy parenthesis, I remember at the time that some of the reactions to that post were in the range for "why doesn't anyone understand that the Hightowers are also feudal lords vying for their own interests and not some great reformists out to save Westeros", which... Listen. 😄 To put equitably, this fandom has a considerable issue with knowing when to level criticism and when to just treat banter as lighthearted horsing around and not take it too seriously. Something which even I'm not exempt from, I don't think. 🤷‍♀️
So, in the interest of making a meme, that post was kind of half-true in that it simplified a more nuanced concept (that was never an avenue that the author decided to explore anyway) for the sake of humour. I have, in the past, detailed my thoughts on House Hightower and what I think is their role in the wider narrative. This is based on the information we have on them presently. If I'm wrong, then I'm wrong. Who knows, maybe Lord Leyton and Melara plan on blowing Oldtown up for shits and giggles. We don't have to guess everything correctly - another aspect this community struggles with in their fandom wars and obsession with having the most correct, morally pure take.
Regardless, yes, the Hightowers obviously are a privileged family at the top of the social food chain, benefitting from the exploitation awarded by feudalism - a political-economic system based on vast inequality. Therefore, any type of reform they might be willing to undertake will be limited and not really something that significantly changes the status-quo. Just like the beloved, fan-favourite, and mostly confirmed "winners" - the Starks. A third element that our fandom has trouble accepting is the concept of incremental change. I feel like it would basically be a truism to point out that incremental change has been the most reliable vector of socio-economic evolution throughout human history. So, bad news for them, I suppose, but any superficial study of history will reveal that feudalism hardly collapsed overnight. Which leads us back to the idea that any small change, no matter how limited, does matter in the long run, because, as time passes, it will be compounded with another small change and so on.
Anyway, coming back to the question. Would Targaryen reformation be possible? Certainly! GRRM could have made up any story he wanted. Anything is possible if you plan for it and it makes sense within your worldbuilding. As it stands, the Targaryens are foreigners with a questionable culture, hailing from a land that used to engage in practices that even the feudal Westerosi found backwards, distasteful, barbaric or immoral: slavery, human sacrifice, incest, great feats of violence such as pillaging and conquering neighbouring lands for the sake of feeding their population to their volcano gods etc. The Targaryens also have fire-breathing monsters that, while not exactly enough all the time to prevent any rebellions from happening, are weapons that no one else has access to and that can cause a great deal of damage that no one else can replicate.
So, in order to "reform" and integrate, they would need to renounce all that. They would need to do it the traditional way. They do some of the work, but never go all the way. They accept the main religion of the land, but they don't let go of inter-marrying, because they don't want to lose their access to dragons. There are attempts to integrate, but, by the time of the events of the main series, they have returned to incest. Funnily enough, Aegon V plays a role in both - he marries outside of the family and has no dragons left, but his succeeding son and daughter marry each other and, eventually, Aegon decides that bringing back dragons is not such a bad idea after all. I do think that the symbolic weight of Daenerys having both her parents and her grandparents as brother-sister sets is laying the "dragon blood" metaphor thick - and that it holds more magical weight than any mathematical calculation of her actual watered-down Targaryen DNA.
In any such scenario where GRRM decided to go down a Targaryen reformation path, IMO it would have been thematically-relevant to ease into it via a marriage alliance with one of the oldest families in Westeros - a well-respected, rich house that also has close links to both the only centre of higher education and the main religious organization in the land. Hence the meme. :) But it doesn't last and the Targaryens go back to their dastardly ways eventually, that's the point of them in the story, because the author chose it to be the point.
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winter-wise · 5 months ago
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it has a chapter 2
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lyriumsings · 3 months ago
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my dragon age prediction is that non romanced lucanis will end up with bellara and there’s gonna be a lot of vitriolic hate towards her after send tweet
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lostcauses-noregrets · 3 months ago
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Do you have any recs for ongoing fics? Like, ones that definitely haven’t been abandoned?
I know that no offence was intended here but asking for fics that "definitely haven't been abandoned" rubs me up the wrong way. Who's to say whether or not a fic has been abandoned? Some writers only update periodically, some might be writing other fics, some might be tied up with other priorities in their lives. I've known writers to update fics years after going on hiatus. When I posted the final chapter of HMS Maria, after a gap of about 8 months, I saw a comment from someone on TikTok saying "Writers can come back from the dead!" Bitch. In the interim period I'd posted about half a dozen other fics, kept this blog running, and dealt with everything that having a full time job, a family and a teenager throws at you.
Quite apart from anything else, some of my favourite fics in this fandom, such as Wild-Type, are unfinished. I would never refer to them as abandoned because that would be presumptuous. Perhaps the writers will return to them one day, perhaps not. Either way, it doesn't matter, like all fan fic, they are a gift to be treasured. I'd encourage you to read the post I've just reblogged which beautifully captures the joy of unfinished fics.
If you want to read fics that have updated recently, AO3's default view for every fandom tag is upload date. You can also refine your search by Completion Date and filter by Complete works only, or Works in progress only. I've also posted a rec list of some current fics here.
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apocalyp-tech-a · 5 months ago
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SEVERE AND UNYIELDING
by Aelfwynn on Ao3
This story is told from Crosshair's perspective. It will intertwine with two other stories from Mayday and Tech's perspectives. They can be found in separate works in the *Season 2 and 3 Intertwining Fix-It Series - Tech - Mayday- Crosshair* selection. (First chapter is set-up for the rest that will be somewhat new considering Mayday and Tech survive).
Crosshair finds himself stuck in an unknown medical facility. Not only will he have to endure the experimental whims of Doctor Hemlock, but also the guilt and regret he harbors for the actions that led him to this fate as well as that of his family.
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kinnoth · 5 months ago
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If I see ONE MORE FUCKING PERSON be like "well I played and finished the dlc, but I'll wait to draw my conclusions about the lore until after the vaati video comes out"
FUCKING WHAT. It's not vaati's fucking lore! That man is just another fan, just like you! He is not your authority!!! Fucking dig up your own lore! All the information you need is there! Walk around the fucking game, open your eyeballs, and draw your own fucking conclusions!!!!!
I swear to fucking God you are all such cowards about "getting it wrong" that you are denying yourself half the fucking experience of the game by refusing to engage with the lore until someone tells you what to think about it.
Get your heads out of your asses!!!!!
#WHY ARE YOU ALL SO DESPERATE FOR AN AUTHORITY TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO OR THINK#WHY ARE YOU ALL SO AFRAID OF UNCERTAINTY THAT YOU WON'T EVEN VENTURE INTO HYPOTHESIS#its a fucking video game!!!!! it is fully safe and fully fictional!!!!!! there are no repercussions for guessing wrong!!!!!!!#everybody wants to claim they're a free thinker until they get an actual opportunity to freely think#god you are all such FUCKING COWARDS#more seriously: i know that this is the main division between a lot of the ''male'' fandom experience and the ''female'' fandom experience#where ''male'' fandoms want to maintain this strict hierarchy from the Word Of God and information that gets disseminated from the top down#it's part of the ''gatekeeping'' that a lot of people experience when trying to get into fandoms dominated by men#where they are asked to ''prove'' themselves to ''real fans'' by reciting a number of deep cut trivia and hard number-based stats#it's part of the impulse to keep an idea of ''order'' and ''purity'' within a fandom where everybody is on the same page about stuff#but ''female'' fandoms have been traditionally rampant with both personal and collaborative speculation#it's part of the contempt male fans have for female fandoms and part of the reason they sling around ''fanfiction'' as a derogatory term#what i can't stand is that all the ''lore-casters'' for fromsoft games get treated as if they were Word Of God#not to get too religiousy but its like fromsoft creates for us a world and then just leaves us in it#but instead of taking that absence as the gift it is we start propping up prophets who claim they can access god's words and intentions#and then instead of just living in and appreciating the world we were given we wait for our prophets to explain to us how we should live#fear of criticism makes you weak i want you all to fucking think about that#elden ring
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while-i-procrastinate · 1 year ago
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There is a lot that brought me joy in the Moving finale (I cried actual tears in the 3 seconds of family reunion they gave us), but nothing gives me more unadulterated pleasure than watching Bad Boy Bang Kisoo become Han Byul's cameraman/puppy!
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